#wish he'd do some more music but hey maybe he's just busy with other shit i gotta respect that

[teenagefeeling]

the bad list by z berg and ryan ross is such a piece of herstory to me

[mollyhw14]

Fallen Angel : Tied to the Devil's Daughter (demon au Lee Donghyuk / Haechan ) ♛ CH2♛

Seraphina was beyond livid.

She'd come to the dance studio to let off steam but it felt like the complete opposite. Putting on some music, she decided to let loose and see if dancing would at least loosen her temper a little bit.

Stretching to warm up, she slowly began to let her body flow with the rhythm, eventually flowing into the choreography she'd been practicing for the last week. Flawlessly, she completed every step, finishing with a grande jete and her final pose. Once the music stopped she collapsed to the floor, sweating but feeling more alive from the buzz of the dance. Prying herself from the floor, she heard distant clapping from the door way making her whip her head round fast to see who had interrupted her alone time.

Phina was definitely not impressed to see the boy she had glared at previously before for taking over her time slot.

"Wow princess didn't know you were quite the ballet dancer. I must say, doesn't really fit your temper like but you got some moves." His voice was almost teasing-like and this irritated Seraphina a lot. Getting annoyed by his presence, she scowled at him, waiting for his explanation as to why he was even there. Not getting an answer she took matters into her own hands.

"So you gonna tell me why the fuck you're here or am I gonna have to slap some sense in to you?"

He chuckled at her tone, she sounded pissed and it only amused him.

"Now now, sunshine, that's no way to speak to people is it?" He made sure to drag out the word sunshine just to piss her off even more.

"You call me that again and I'll snap your fucking neck!" She'd moved to grab her phone, getting angrier the more she was in his presence.

"Feisty one aren't you? Princess, as much as I'd love to break your neck too, don't think it would go down to well with the police now would it?" His condescending tone irritated her and she stormed out, barging past his tall ass to find her next class.

"By the way, I came to take over my time slot, not that I didn't mind you staring at me Sunshine," he shouted from behind her.

'Staring? Fucking idiot, he's obviously blind to not see I was trying to burn him with my eyes' she thought to herself as she slowed down once entering her classroom. 

Maths was Seraphina's most hated class. It wasn't because she wasn't good at it, if anything she was top of the class. However, she unfortunately had to share this class with the demons in the year above. Three of them being the dicktrio who thought they ran the school. Their dumbasses had dropped a grade and now she had to have this class with them. Not only that, her teacher was a demon too, favouring them more amongst the humans within the class, no matter how dumb they were. Phina often wondered to herself if there was many more teachers who were also demons, and they just kept to their human form?

Waiting for the teacher to come, she glanced around, trying to not make contact with the black orbs that almost laughed at her from across the room. The demons giggled to themselves, knowing how much humans hated eye contact with them, believing they would die from a single look. However this wasn't the case for Phina, she was introverted, and this was why she hated eye contact. She didn't give one shit if this girl was a demon, she just knew the moment they shared eye contact, she wouldn't hear the end of it.

"How's my favourite person!" Phina heard the angelic voice of her friend, before being engulfed by a pair of arms.

"Cheonie, you're strangling me!" Phina managed to choke out before her best friend finally sat in the seat next to her.

"Can I not be happy to see my best friend? Have you calmed down yet?"

Before Phina could reply, she heard the high pitch voice shout out from the other side of the room.

"Shut up Chansa, you might as well be an Angel you're that fucking annoying!"

Hurt flashed across her friends face and Seraphina saw red. How dare she insult her best friend.

"First of all her name is CHEONSA, get it right bitch! Maybe mind your own fucking god damn business before insulting my friend. At least she has a heart unlike you whores."

She glared straight into the black pits of hell, and everyone around them muted. All shocked that not only had she stuck up to the three dicktrio demons, but also because she actually looked them straight in the eye.

Shock was evident on the demons’ faces, but was gone as quick as it came.

"Did you just call us whores?"

"Yes and what the fuck are you going to do about it?"

"You're dead human bitch-"

Just as the girl was about the pounce at Phina, the door swung open to reveal both the teacher and the person she hated just as much as the dicktrio. Lee Haechan.

"What are you doing Seraphina! Get in your seat right this instant and don't utter a single word for the rest of class." Black orbs glowed from the door way at her, stopping the demon in her tracks.

Seraphina was beyond mad. Not only had she been humiliated by the teacher, but that the demons always got their own way. The smirk on their faces showing everyone who had the higher ground.

"Utter bullshit" she mumbled to herself, Cheonsa gave her a reassuring smile.

"Right class we have a new student joining us, Lee Haechan. Make him feel welcome and please, no funny business. Haechan please take a seat next to Seraphina."

Could Phina's day get any worse? Banging her head on her desk, she heard a low chuckle followed by, "You really are a badass aren't you Sunshine? Going against a demon you're definitely asking for a death wish."

Oh how she wished she was dead.

The bell rang signally the end of the day, and nobody was more exciting to be leaving school that Seraphina. The ringing of the bell actually made her smile for the first time that day, as she skipped down the stairs to go meet her best friend outside.

Finding Cheonsa under the school's apple tree, they linked arms before heading off the their usual cafe down the road.

"Why don't you ask Mark if he wants to join us, you said he's been stressed out with exams recently he'll need a break." Cheonsa looked at her friend for an answer, watching as she frowned at the mention of her brother.

"I know, he really stresses himself out too much, mums had to put a lock on the fridge because he's been stress eating."

Mark was Seraphina's older brother, who never let her forget that he was the older ones. He was doing his finally exams to get himself into college, and the boy literally stressed himself out so much over it, he would lash out at anybody who distracted him.

"Do you think he'll be calm enough to even talk to me on the phone?"

Cheonsa hesitated,

"He should be done with them soon, he'd probably appreciate his sister inviting him out."

With that said, Phina brought the phone to her ear to call her brother, entering the all too familiar cafe.

"Yah what do you want I'm busy Phi!"

Phina closed her eyes at the loudness of his voice, knowing her brother would react this way she sighed.

"Never mind. I was going to ask if you'd like to come hang out with us at the cafe but if you're busy just leave it." She snapped at him down the phone, her temper getting the better of her.

"No wait!" the voice on the other side made her jump. He really needed to stop shouting.

"I'll come, I'm sorry for shouting I need a break these exams are driving me fucking insane." His voice was more softer this time, regretting the way he'd spoke to his sister. After all, she was just trying to be nice.

"I'll see you in 5."

Just as the phone line went dead, Cheonsa was walking over with two cups in her hand.

"You know me to well Cheonsie, a peppermint hot chocolate is always the way to my heart."

They both chuckled and sat in their usual spot, before Phia decided to fill her friend in on the new kid.

"Honestly you should've seen him Cheonsa, he thought he was fucking amazing, interrupting my dance slot-"

"Hello to my favourite sibling!" Her brother practically screamed from across the cafe, interrupting her rant.

"Mark I'm your only sibling."

"I know that but still... anyway I brought Renjun because he was with me when you called." Renjun stuck his head out from behind Mark, waving at the two girls.

"Hey Rejun, how've you been?" Cheonsa beamed up at the blonde, eyes never leaving the male.

"I've been good thank you, just trying to finish my portfolio for art."

Phina almost gagged at the way her friend was making heart eyes at the man. She pulled Mark into the booth they were sat at, earning a glare from her friend at their chosen seating arrangement.

"I like your new hair Renjun, have you dyed it?" Cheonsa's attention was back onto the male, swooning at the way he blushed that she'd noticed his hair.

"Yeah I just fancied a change. Do you think it looks okay-"

He was about the finish his sentence when the sudden buzz of his phone interrupted him. Confused, he put the phone to his ear, quizzing the caller.

"What's wrong? Are they being bad again?- Well I don't know....I can ask wait a sec-"

"Hey Cheonsa is it okay if my friend joins us?"

His eyes were pleading at her to let his friend come, and Phina wondered why he would even be pleading when he knew fair well that Cheonsa would agree to anything he said.

"Of course, anything for you." Cheonsa giggled, causing Phina to fake gag, and earning a chuckle from her brother and death glare from her friend.

After getting off the phone, Renjun announced his friend was round the corner and would go and grab him a drink from the counter, asking if anybody else wanting one too.

As he neared the counter, her friend sighed, love evident on her face.

"He's just so charming isn't he?" She sighed again, looking towards the boy she had a huge crush on.

"Yeh he's alright I guess-"

"Oh hey Sunshine, didn't know I'd be seeing you here."

Phina's eyes nearly popped out their sockets at the high pitched voice she could recognise anywhere.

Why did her day just keep getting worse.

[mirainawen]

Some headcanons for The Long Road that absolutely nobody asked for

Who’s the messiest one:

Everyone has their places that they are the messiest one in.

dean: when he cooks, he does not clean up the kitchen afterward. he reasons that cleanup is sam's detail, because that splits the work 50-50. most of the time, sam is okay with this because he doesn't particularly enjoy cooking and is tired of takeout. he'll bitch dean out in three circumstances: 1, he hasn't been there (fair), 2, he wanted to eat out (less fair), 3, DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO WRECK THE WHOLE KITCHEN TO BAKE A FRICKIN PIE (least fair).

when it comes to the state of his room, though, dean falls right between sam and adam. it's his space, so he reasons everyone can mind their own business. sometimes he is really on top of it; other stretches of time, he'll let things pile up / get out of place before he'll do something about it.

you so much as leave a to-go cup in Baby, though, and God help you.

sam: between the three of them, sam tends to be the most orderly and tidy. BUT, leave that man alone to his own devices in the library? he's probably fallen asleep atop an entire table of "organized chaos" of open books, pages of notes, a new (unimplemented) filing system, a dozen bookmarked tomes, and a couple dozen pens lost amid the chaos. sam in research mode + cross-referencing & digitizing & organizing the men of letters' archives into a streamlined and interconnected, coherent system is...a lot. just like A Lot. and it Shows. (and sam's loving every minute of it. utterly geeking out in his own head.)

adam: is a disaster child. he'll let shit pile up until he has to deal with it, or is otherwise bitched at enough by (usually) sam. he doesn't have a lot of stuff, so it can't reach actual problem levels in the bunker. but he's totally the kind to be like, "what the hell? how long has this been here? hey, guys, when did we eat at burger king? oh god, we should definitely toss that at the next gas station. what? no i'm not going searching for a trash can right now" about his car.

Who feels the most uncomfortable about PDA:

it is, get this, sam. i know, i know. hear me out. when given the option, adam can and will be affectionate within reason. he's the most uptight and gunshy about it at first, when he just gets out of the cage; tends to withdraw from people getting too close, always on edge; as a survivor of the most Traumatic Thing in the Universe, that is more than fair and expected.

once he's had time to find his footing with sam & dean, however, he'll greet them with a bro-hug, when appropriate, a slap on the back, a nudge of the elbow, lowkey affection like that.

dean came back from purgatory more affectionate than he'd ever been before. much more readily will not only greet with a hug, but say goodbye (even in 'casual' partings) with a hug.

that leaves sam, who used to be considered more mushy than dean by these terms. dean's lowkey affection he's used to. adam's? nah. no. especially in the first 5 years, for the amount of time that adam does it (before shit gets Real Bad). after adam gets out of the institution, he gravitates more towards sam naturally, even when pissed, and sam's kinda lowkey why is he in my personal space??? weird. because it doesn't innately fit the same kind of way it does with dean. post-reintegration, he's more affectionate after they've found their footing again. he tries to make up for the Bad Years with more slaps on the shoulder kind of affection. boy's trying.

Who’s the funniest drunk:

sam is a disaster drunk. he's the biggest lightweight of the three of them, which is funny because he's also the biggest, just like the biggest in general. dean becomes so much fun in unexpectedly different kinds of ways. like, he can be talked into karaoke. or doing some stupid shit he's gonna regret in the morning because odds are it's not gonna end well.

but adam is straight up hilarious. that sharp wit comes out, and all his inhibitions (and image) are gone so he just straight up cracks the worst jokes ever and gets away with it. they land. somehow they land. maybe because sam & dean are also drunk. maybe because he is just that funny. maybe it's that he has a tendency to get blackout-wasted and do stupid shit that makes no sense whatsoever, like shower with his f*ckin socks on and dean is never gonna let that shit die.

Who texts the most:

adam or dean. during large periods of time in the first 5 years, adam will leave dean on read and dean texts because read receipts means he knows when adam is checking his messages and therefore he knows adam is at least alive, if not entirely alright. by that view, dean texts the most.

but for random shit, that would be adam. he'll text dean something like

with either no caption, or something like: this reminds me you need to hit the gym, or looks like you have competition and doesn't give further context. dean doesn't mind because at least it means the kid's not dying in a basement somewhere.

he'll kick his ass for the fat comment later

Who reads the most:

it goes in this order:

sam "i read this entire book in one sitting cause i had the time, and now i am awake at 1am because i can't decide if i want to start another one since i have down time" winchester

adam "does it have cool illustrations? no? fine, at least tell me the lore on boobries is correct" milligan

dean "what job has the least amount of reading?" winchester

Who has the most embarrassing taste in music:

eff. ing. adam. even in his own car (where, hey, the rules are driver picks the music dean!) he's only allowed a certain amount of time for his "whiny teenage garbage music" (thanks dean) before he has to change it to something a little more tolerable (rock, at the very least). heaven help him if he hints at something country with dean around. dean will be like, sit your ass down it's time for REAL music 101 and put on Metallica for the 8th time.

Who’s better with kids:

adam, with dean a very, very close second! so close, they probably tie. adam, early on, isn't good with anyone because fresh-out-of-the-cage (even post-institution for a bit) makes him kind of a hairs-breadth triggered bomb when it comes to people of all ages. but adam a bit more balanced? a natural. he grew up around extended family, friends, wanted kids of his own someday.

sam, however, is the absolute worst. a pure disaster moron in this arena. when adam is de-aged? dean didn't think it was possible for sam to suck so much at something. (don't worry, the boy found his bearings. but oh man...the road to get there, paved with more potholes than road.) BUT when sam really tries? like if he lets himself relax and lowers his inhibitions, he can do pretty well. but he's mostly just Highly Uncomfortable around kids, and like, it Shows.

Who’s the one that fixes things around the house:

dean. put that boy in the garage, under the hood of a car, great. can do it all. put that boy in front of a little home repair? renovation? by god he'll figure it out. and he won't put a hole in the wall shut up sammy. he takes pride in the upkeep of the bunker.

sam, however, is much more content to just be like ah man i wish we had a shelf here. or, oh right we need to remember to do xyz and then sit back and wait for it to Magically Take Care of Itself.

Who’s got the weirdest hobby:

hobby? what the hell is that? a homeless person?

Who cooks and who cleans up:

dean cooks, sam cleans. adam cooks, sam and dean will rock-paper-scissors for cleanup. or leave adam to do it. sam is never allowed to cook. he's a horrible cook. they'd literally rather eat out than let sam cook. sam, of course, is highly insulted, but also like...he knows dean & adam are better cooks. they just are. yes, fine, he'll wash the dishes again.

every now and then he gives it a shot. surprisingly he makes really good pancakes. he'll cook just to force one of the others to have to cleanup when he's tired of being on dish duty. dean & adam are not impressed when he tries to leverage sandwiches for dish duty.

sam, somewhat sloshed on a saturday night will be like, guys! guys! hey why don't i make us food and dean and adam are like, duuuuuude. ...wait, no. sam- and he's like, no, guys, i got this, and brings them microwave burritos. and THEN they're like hey! no! this does NOT mean we're doing dishes!

[insomni-snacc]

Mx. Shoggoth, I Presume? Pt 4

Warning! Sexual humor and heavy swearing ahead.

-----------------------------

It's Showtime!

You two stood there, shuffling your feet for what seemed like hours. You'd never been proposed to before, even if it was fake. What came next? You had an old ring you had picked up the day before. The etched silver band reminded you of him, the carvings almost matching his signature stripes. You supposed you ought to give it to him now.

"Ah, by the way doll." Beetlejuice cut through your thoughts, "I uh… well since we need this gaggle of breather kids to see me it'd be best if…" he trailed off, barely audible as he mumbled "I'd like it if you'd summon me."

"Pardon? Sorry, I didn't catch that."

He raked his hands through his violently pink hair, "Just read this, dammit." He handed you a business card.

"... A matchmaker? Beej I don't think I need this right--"

"TURN IT OVER."

You did so. "Beetlejuice… Beetlejuice…"

He had to lean against the side of the house to steady himself. He was way too happy with the way his name sounded coming from you.

"Beetlejuice." You finished. A familiar cloud of green smoke formed around the two of you as the demon launched himself into the air. He did a flip and summoned up some fireworks, sending a wink in your direction. What a showoff.

"It's showtime, baby!" Being summoned, let alone by such an exceptional human, gave him the high he needed to get past the last few awkward minutes. He glided down to you, grabbing your hand to give you a quick twirl before pulling you off of your feet and dipping you backwards. "Thanks for callin' on me, tootse. What can I do ya for?"

"What just happened?"

"Well," he pulled you back up to your feet and swung you through a few dance steps while he explained, "I haven't really felt like I could ask Lyds to summon me after what happened last time, so I've only been here in SPIRIT, you might say." He chuckled at the pun. "You can only see me because you're a bit strange and unusual, like her. For normal folks to see me, and for me to be physically here, I gotta be summoned - and guess who just summoned their first demon!"

"... I did?"

"You did!" He nearly leapt around you as he continued flinging you about. Where had this man learned to dance? Was the instructor on cocaine?

Flustered by trying to keep up with his quickening dance moves (and, admittedly, by all of the physical contact with your attractive demonic friend), your thoughts went back to the ring burning a hole in your pocket. "Ah, here." He (thankfully) stopped dancing as you pulled the ring unceremoniously from your pocket, thrusting it towards him. "Gotta have the matching set, right?"

Gosh. You were just so smooth. Cool was your middle name. The demon across from you definitely didn't notice your palms sweating, right?

"Ah… yeah. Yeah I guess so…" His earlier bravado fled from him like a frightened bird. He picked up the ring and fiddled with it for several moments, avoiding eye contact like one look could strike him re-dead.

"Y/N! Beej! C'mon! We're gonna be late!" Lydia shouted from the driveway, pulling you two from your stupor.

"Shit, right. Uh… let's go wrangle some children?" Beetlejuice said, attempting to sound suave and totally unbothered (and failing).

"Yes, let's shall!" You two were going to set a record for the smoothest not-couple in New England.

Lydia, itching to test out her provisional license, insisted on driving the three of you to the school where you would be meeting the other students. Saving you from making any further cool-headed and completely normal conversation, she took the liberty of walking you and Beetlejuice through the rules on the drive. "Beej, I'm going to need you to shapeshift. Can you make yourself look, you know, alive?"

He slapped his cheeks, turning his skin marginally pinker and wiggling his eyebrows at you as if he'd just built the Eiffel Tower in front of your very eyes.

"Can you put in about 1% effort, at least?" Lydia deadpanned.

He huffed and shook himself, emitting a puff of green smoke. The man who emerged looked like your demon friend, but cleaner and a bit… suburban. His hair was a muted brown with emerald green streaks at his temples, the moss and soil that usually clung to every crevice was gone (though the earthy scent remained). He even swapped out his signature striped suit for a casual black button up and dark wash jeans. He looked… well he still looked really damn attractive, especially when he used your staring at his new appearance to give you that cocky grin of his.

"Like what you see, tootse?" He said, running his left hand through his hair. Your eyes snapped to the ring, your ring, on his finger.

"Yeah, life suits you." You smiled sincerely. "Could do without the grave smell, though."

"Hey, that's my natural musk you're talking about. Drives my lovers crazy, if you know what I mean." He leaned towards you, craning his neck to give you a good angle to take a whiff.

You fought the urge to take an exploratory inhale. You were failing. Thankfully, Lydia literally snapped you out of it, before you could embarrass yourself a third time today, by clicking her fingers in agitation. "Let's focus, lovebirds. We're almost there. Y/N, you remember the backstory I gave you?"

"Yup! I moved here one year ago looking for a quiet place to write my book, (and God, do I wish the quiet part were true) and met BJ while I was working on my laptop in the diner on 7th. He told me he'd help me through some dialogue I was stuck on if I took him to dinner. The rest, as they say, is falsified history" At least the reason you moved to New England had been true, though you hadn't exactly found much quiet time for writing in the last few months.

"We snuck out and fucked in the alley behind the diner, right next to that graffiti of those two cartoon cats. It was hella romantic." Beetlejuice slung an arm around you, "you told me right then and there you couldn't live without me or my amazing penis. Of course, I have standards, so I made you wait a few months before I popped the question, but--"

"Beej." Lydia warned.

"What? You didn't give ME a rundown on OUR backstory, so I've gotta improvise."

"I gave you the notes three days ago, it's not my fault you drew dicks all over them, Just let your lovely, responsible spouse do the explaining, ok?" She said, pulling into a parking space in the back of the school. There was a bus waiting there to take them all to the airport, already full of kids. She quickly jogged up to the doors, taking a seat with two kids in the back that you assumed must be her friends. You wasted no time in hauling your luggage inside and addressing the crowd.

"Hi! I'm Mx. Shoggoth, call me Y/N. I'll be your guide--"

"That's my bit!" A disgruntled Beetlejuice complained, pushing you aside. "Hey kids, who's ready to party it up in the Big Easy? Maybe get your voodoo on?"

"We're here to make sure they DON'T get into trouble, BJ."

"Ugh, lame."

"Right. Anyway, this is my husband, Lawrence. You can call him BJ" You gestured to your partner in crime, whose cheeks were tinged with that familiar pink you were used to in his hair. "We're here to make sure y'all don't get mixed up in any voodoo or, you know, die in any fashion."

"Booooo." A teen moaned from the back of the bus. You could hear Lydia chuckling, as well.

"See? You're lame, the kid agrees." Beetlejuice smirked, shoving you aside and taking a seat at the front of the bus. He patted the seat next to him, glancing at you as you finished up your safety spiel.

"... and we'll be meeting your music teacher at the airport, so til then I've been told you should be looking through your sheet music." You ended your speech, taking your seat next to Beetlejuice.

"So professional. Keep that up and I may lose my libido forever." He snickered.

"Yeah well, your sex life isn't any of my concern." You hissed.

"Oh, isn't it? Is that any way to talk to your loving husband?" He grabbed your hand, grazing your knuckles with his lips for good measure. It seemed, once there was an audience, Beetlejuice transformed back into his needy perverted self with no issue.

You, on the other hand, were still easily flustered. Perhaps, you noted as you felt your cheeks practically light on fire and your breath catch in your throat, even more so with an audience. You contemplated jumping through the bus doors just as they closed, sealing you into your fate.

https://insomni-snacc.tumblr.com/post/189284584571/mx-shoggoth-i-presume-pt-3

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: Hey Nancy: how's all the prep going? Rio: Oh my God Rio: it feels good to talk to someone over the age of 12, put it that way Rio: its getting there but I might not 🤪🥴😵 Nancy: same cos Buster's acting like a 5 year old rn Nancy: I wish I was there helping Rio: Travelling brings out the worst in 'em Rio: if I have to see an airport with mine this year, too soon 😬❌ Rio: we could use your 👀 Rio: I'm sure there will still be shit to do when you all get here Nancy: Did your dad convince your mum about a honeymoon though? Nancy: Asking cos I wanna steal you away for a while Nancy: When I get there I'm gonna have so many 📷 to set up and take but I'll definitely make time for any finishing touches there are Rio: 😘😘😘 Rio: s'more convincing nan and granddad that your parents and the rest will help out controlling the masses whilst they're off 🎔☽ Rio: a reason we can NEVER find a babysitter 🙄 Nancy: Oh come on! If my mum gets involved they'll be perfect 😇s Rio: 😂 Rio: I'd be happy to test the theory Rio: going to be so good to see you again! Nancy: Me too if it'd get her off my back 🙄 Nancy: I've missed you so much! Rio: Uh-oh, what's the latest crusade with her? Rio: Girl, same! So much catching up Nancy: Who can keep track? This week it's something about how I spend too much time in my room Nancy: Like doesn't she realise I don't sleep in a cell? I have everything I need Rio: Right? Rio: At least we're past grounding, was such a laughable punishment when its not the 50s or something, please Nancy: malted milkshakes and jukeboxes yes, the rest of the 50s, no Rio: But you'd look so fetching in a circle skirt 😉 Rio: what are you wearing though Rio: I've been so busy making sure the kids are actually clothed that I'm not remotely ready, ugh Nancy: Also less likely to be hatecrimed when it's just gals being pals 😉 Nancy: [a pic of her outfit cos we don't have one yet gang] Nancy: oh my god if you're not joking dad better start speeding! You really need my help ASAP Rio: Don't rub it in, or I'll be at the back of the bus heckling you Rio: me and all MY #sistas Rio: 😍 you look so good, I'll ignore your white feminism if you tell him to step on it Nancy: 😳 x 10000 like Nancy: But I'll demand it Rio: 🧡 Rio: Its a mood, catch me stealthing down the aisle at the back, please, steal the show, kids Nancy: 💚 Nancy: Honestly I feel nervous & I don't have to do the walk/nobody's gonna be looking at me Rio: Awh, don't be Rio: Honestly, everything is so extra, no one will know where to look Rio: you know them Nancy: I was safe to assume that Junie isn't answering me cos he's 😳 x 10000000 then, yeah? Rio: No doubt Rio: I can't even find him to tell him to reply Rio: if I spot him Nancy: It's fine I'll see him soon anyway Rio: God bless him Nancy: I need out of this car now & away from all of them Rio: I can feel the tension from here, babe Nancy: If he spends another sec on speaker talking to his friends about last night's party I will have to throw his phone out of the window Rio: Eww Rio: your brother is 1000% gonna be THAT businessman on the train that wants everyone to hear his convo Nancy: I know Rio: then pops a few blood vessels when someone tells him otherwise Rio: you poor thing, forreal Nancy: He got into a fight at the party over some girl 🙄 But of course the other lad was the only one hurt Nancy: How am I related to this idiot? Rio: How have your parents not turned the car around or at least threatened to Nancy: He doesn't wanna come which means he is, no matter what Nancy: Even if he was 🤕 Rio: Also do you live in Chelsea or a bad American teen drama Rio: the dramatics 😂 Nancy: Right? But it's me getting lectured by my mother regularly Nancy: your favouritism is showing again Rio: We all like you better, don't worry babe Nancy: thanks Nancy: if your parents wanna adopt me, now is good Rio: What's one more is pratically the family motto so why not Rio: you'll have to miss all the WILD parties and the even wilder bants Rio: reckon you'll survive? Nancy: just about Rio: Be honest Rio: if I go to town right now, what are the odds of the kids staying semi-presentable? Nancy: It'd be single figures Nancy: like 5% maybe Rio: Yeah Rio: but even less chance of me getting something wearable if I ask my boy to bring something with him, right? Nancy: Unless he's very fashion forward Nancy: You could tell him to go to ours and raid my wardrobe? Rio: Such a humblebrag, Nancy McKenna 😏 Nancy: If you don't want my advice or designer labels, don't ask, like Rio: 😂 Rio: how is it possible I have nothing suitable in my whole ass wardrobe Nancy: This family has had a surprisingly few weddings in our lifetime Nancy: & there's no chance of you re-purposing what you wore to my parents' big day all those years ago so Nancy: I'll make a detour and pick something up for you Nancy: if you trust me Rio: The amount of sin is truly unholy Rio: my grandma be 😠 at all these heathens Rio: and that feels like forever ago Rio: dread to think what I was rocking but at least I was cute Nancy: So 😢 I couldn't bring a date to meet your grandma she sounds lovely Nancy: [finds a pic of the baze wedding like] Nancy: you were the cutest! Look! Rio: Love the sinner, hate the sin, sweetie 😘 Rio: Oh lord Nancy: Says you but what happened to ME? Nancy: I'm like a different person rn and it's not a glow up Rio: Shh, you look beautiful, are you kidding Nancy: I look like my parents are into medieval torture & put me on a rack Nancy: not cute Rio: Oh 'cos being tall is so unappealing Rio: all those leggy supermodels, YUCK Nancy: 😂 Rio: Anyone saying different is obviously jealous Nancy: How very teen drama Nancy: the girl who hates me really loves me 💋 Rio: better start loudly talking about that Rio: your 'rents will be so proud Nancy: They aren't likely to hear me over Buster's dramatic playlist 🎶 Rio: Now you're just making shit up 😂 Nancy: [records him as proof hey boy hey looking like a moody fuckboy snack over there no doubt] Rio: He really did just look at the window like a music video, huh Rio: also praying you make it here unmurdered now, girl 🙏🤞 Nancy: He wouldn't dare start a fight with us in our finery 👗👠 mum & dad would kill him Nancy: or I could with the 👠 Rio: Gotta stay favourite, yeah Nancy: definitely Rio: catch me being no ones 'cos I'm not coming Rio: see you tomorrow, like 👋 Nancy: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo Nancy: you have to Nancy: don't leave me with my evil twin Rio: 😩 but Rio: so over this before its begun Nancy: please Ri Nancy: I'll make it fun somehow Rio: There's no escape anyhow Rio: so many people here already just 👀 @ me Rio: I'm not putting on a fucking poofy dress I'm sorry Nancy: you don't have to Nancy: bridesmaid but keep it fashion Rio: I tried on some actual bridesmaid dresses but I felt so stupid Rio: why is it all floor-length and fucking Rio: the excess material Rio: I don't wanna drown in tulle, I'm not 5 Nancy: gross Nancy: I promise to never get married first of all Nancy: second of all I'm gonna make sure you look 🔥 today so Rio: 🧡🧡🧡 Rio: I've got to start on the drinks now though, sorry Nancy: show me what's in your wardrobe & I'll try & remember what's in mine Rio: I love you but you remember what I said about floor-length? Nancy: okay okay just yours then Nancy: come on, I can do this Rio: [does] Rio: but honestly, fuck it Nancy: there's so much I could make work Nancy: & no reason for us both to hate our outfits Rio: I won't hate it, I'll just be hated Rio: mainly by my grandma 💁 Nancy: as soon as Buster arrives his attitude will pull focus Nancy: plenty to keep your grandma busy in this car Rio: He'd never be that nice to me Rio: even unintentionally Nancy: I will then Nancy: thinking of a scene to cause as we speak Rio: 😏 Rio: such a shame there'll be no hot girls there you aren't related to 💔 Nancy: if only hitchhikers were still a thing Rio: So predatory for a 13 year old Rio: flip that script honey Nancy: it's the lesbian way Nancy: ask every girl at my school Rio: Ugh, turning their backs in the changing room is it? Rio: like half of 'em have got anything to hide, people are ridiculous Nancy: Yeah Rio: Its more than that then Nancy: It's not a story for today Rio: Later Rio: when you've caught up Nancy: when I've taken my make up off maybe Nancy: it took a really long time Rio: it looks 🔥 Nancy: it's not too much, right? You'd tell me Rio: Of course Rio: but it so isn't, its great Nancy: thanks Nancy: a benefit of doing it in February, our faces won't melt off & I'm not sunburnt Rio: They've thought of you at least Rio: love that Nancy: I'll try & remember to thank them too, like Rio: Thank whichever God made you gay too Rio: boys are such dicks Nancy: I got stuck with a brother so I'd still suffer Nancy: probably won't 🙏 Rio: Well you can ignore him Rio: sure you both prefer it that way Nancy: You can ignore any boys you want Nancy: or don't want Rio: Nah Rio: not when I'm this hard to ignore yeah Nancy: all the more reason Nancy: when you look like you look you can take your pick Rio: I already have, that's what I'm saying Nancy: & they're still dicks? Rio: He is Nancy: So dump him Nancy: there must be some boys in existence who aren't Rio: Eh Rio: None as cute Nancy: Gross Rio: Shut up 🙄 Nancy: if you wanna talk about boys you've come to the wrong place Rio: excuse me Rio: you've literally talked about your hitchhiker fantasy so you can deal with it Nancy: I don't have a fantasy I was trying to think of a diversion to horrify your grandma Rio: Sure Nancy: It's a shame Buster would never swap outfits with me Nancy: a move like that really would pull focus from what you're wearing Rio: I hate to break it to you but not really Rio: already got so many chicks in suits Rio: you know this is MY parents wedding, not yours Nancy: but how many boys in dresses do you have? Rio: I'll check Rio: my parents have weird friends, babe Rio: and have you met my siblings like Rio: your the normie branch of the fam, no amount of lesbian angst is changing that for you, I'm so sorry Nancy: at least they have friends, mine have co-dependence Nancy: and yeah, I'm trying to get adopted in, remember? Rio: 😍 romantic Rio: we'll swap Rio: I need the break Nancy: you and Buster would kill each other in seconds Nancy: but if you can survive long enough to end him I support it Rio: Duh Nancy: I've heard 'you should see the other guy' enough to be sure it's bullshit Nancy: you can take him Rio: I know Rio: trust me Nancy: he hasn't lost a 🥊 for ages it's way past due Rio: Weddings always end in a scrap Rio: may as well take it for the team honestly Nancy: fights & drunken displays happen whenever this family gets together Nancy: again, take your pick Rio: I'm not drunk but tah for the faith, babe Nancy: it's early still Rio: 😒 Nancy: they are all driving me to drink & I don't even Rio: Slainte Nancy: exactly Rio: Fuck it, I'm going town Nancy: do you have time? Rio: Sure Nancy: Then yeah go Rio: ✌ see you when you get here Nancy: I'll find you as soon as we show up Rio: Do Rio: I'll be the bombshell Nancy: I'll be the awkward ginger Nancy: 💚💋 Rio: 🧡💋