#wish I was still in my hugging random strong dudes phase (not really. though... it was nice)

[running-in-the-dark]

lol that post reminded me that there was this guy in school, his only hobby was going to the gym and his arms were huge. he was kind of a jerk, but, his arms were huge 🤷, so I just. spent a looot of time one year hugging him. that's so weird to think about now.

[themorphine]

3rd Times a Charm, Chap 4

GUYS I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY I FINALLY HAD TIME TO WRITE, hope you enjoy!

I woke up shaking. No someone was shaking me.

"FEYRE." Someone screamed my name. Alis. I jumped out of bed. What was going on? Was Tamlin here? Was Alis's ex here? Did the bakery near us run out of blueberry muffins?

Alis's expression was not scared or frightened or angry but full of excitement. "Your tired ass fell asleep before I could get you to spill the beans on your date. So what happened? You don't have that it was a good date smile, why? TELL ME."

"Slow down Alis, your gonna give me a headache at 6 in the morning."

"It's actually 5 pm, and I made you coffee it's on your side table. I added a bit of creamer just like you like it."

"You're a lifesaver, Alis. A gift sent from the gods." she chuckled as I greedily took the mug from the side table and drank the coffee. I could feel the heavenly liquid coursing through my veins, making me more alert.

"Oh and that violet-eyed dude is in the kitchen." I choked on my coffee and whipped my head to her. "What." Rhys- Rhysand was here? For how long? Why was he here? To see me? Don't be stupid Feyre, I thought. I thought we agreed that disappointment was fake.

I leaped out of bed and stumbled to my closet, looking for something nice to wear. What hadn't I gone shopping with Alis when she asked? I rummaged through my closet when I noticed a bag near the door of my closet. I picked it up and looked inside. There was a deep blue blouse, baggy light-washed jeans, and tiny hoop earrings. Had I bought these? When? I never went shopping, Ha-

"I got that for you this morning!" Alis hollered. Alis was really a lifesaver. I thanked her 5 times and promised to make it up to her until she shouted at me to go change, and I ran into the bathroom, making sure not to run into Rhysand.

I put on the outfit, and I had to admit I looked good. Even though the jeans were loose, You could still see my curves and gods the blouse. For some reason, it reminded me of Rhysand and those impossible violet eyes. He was so beautiful, though I would never admit it because his ego would skyrocket. He looked inhumanly beautiful like he was something else, something much more powerful. I w-

"FEYRE WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?"

I jumped and slammed back into reality. Stop daydreaming Feyre, he doesn't like you. End of story. I quickly put on the earrings and opened the door, Alis was sprawled on the bed and jumped up when she saw me. She squealed and said "Feyre you look amazing! I knew those clothes would look amazing on you for your date-"

"DATE?" I screamed. Date?! When had I agreed to go on a date with Rhysand? He obviously wasn't interested in me, what was going on?

Her eyes were filled with suspicion for a moment, but then turned to shock and amusement

"So you don't remember anything from last night?" What the hell is she talking about?

"Obviously not! How the hell did I get another date?!"

Alis told me about last night, how I woke her up when I dropped a wine glass when I went to get some at 3 in the morning, how we ended up drinking wine, laughing, talking, and then going on my phone. She told me how I messaged another guy, I found out was Azriel, and asked for a date, he agreed and I told him to pick the place. Alis had then passed out but I must have messaged more because there were so many messages, full of random talks, and I realized we were talking about Again but Better by Christine Riccio, a novel we both enjoyed immensely but he seemed shy to admit it. Gods Feyre, what have you done? Wait isn't Rhysand in the house?! Wait why do you care whether he hears you, he DOESNT like you!

Alis must have seen my confusion, because then she smirked and said casually "Oh yeah, Rhysand isn't really here I just said that because that is the only way to get you out of bed."

I glared at her, but I couldn't really be mad at her, she was right. And that surprised me.

I decided not to eat breakfast because my date, Azriel was taking me somewhere. I was scrolling through the pictures on tinder and our past conversations. I had to admit, he looked gorgeous. He was muscled like Rhys and Cassian, but his eyes were different. Not different like Rhys and the same hazel like Cassians, but like they had shadows in them. He looked as if he would have shadows around him, curling in his ear to tell him things. There you go again Feyre, your artist's eye is very weird these days.

I shook my head and stood up. It was almost 6, and I had to walk to the restaurant we were going to. He had offered to pick me up when we were talking last night, but I was still too suspicious of paranoid to go in a car with a man. I thanked that my drunk self spared my embarrassment and did not tell him that.

I said goodbye to Alis and she wished me luck, with her nephews in her lap. I smiled and hugged them both before leaving.

Velaris was the perfect weather tonight, warm but with a cooling breeze that blew the hair out of my face. It was 5:40, and the sun looked like it was going to set soon. The clouds looked like a painting, and I was enraptured in them. I could never paint clouds like that, could never get the shadows right, c-

One second I was thinking about the clouds, and the next second my body slammed into something. Yet again, not something, but someone. I lost balance from the blow, but someones strong, definitely a mans, hands reached and put his arm around my waist. The hand felt familiar. The scent was similar too. I looked at who had saved me from probably getting a really bad butt bruise and saw a pair of violet eyes. Shit

"Feyre Darling, it seems I am always bumping into you. not that I'm complaining." He had his signature smirk, his violet eyes dancing with amusement. I wanted to paint those eyes so badly, to find the right-DATE FEYRE. You have a date.

"Prick" I mumbled, and he chuckled. He released his hold on me, and a small part of me wished he kept it there. His eyes widened a bit as he took me in, drinking in every. Single. Inch. Of. Me. He lingered on my lips, and something pooled low in my stomach. Shitshitshitshitshit.

"So why are you so dressed up? Not that I'm mad, you look delicious." I might have blushed a bit at that, but I was also annoyed that he had such a hold over me. I needed to get back on track. Date with Azriel.

"If you must know you busybody I am going on a date." Again his eyes dimmed a bit, but I told myself it was fake, how could eyes dim? A growing part of me snorted at that and said, Oh you wait.

"Last Night's one was that good? Damn, what did your date do?" I appreciated that he respected and did not make assumptions about my sexuality, most men I knew, scratch that, all men I knew other than Cassian and Rhys would do that.

"Yesterday's date and I realized we could be way better as friends, but I gave him my sister's number." His brows furrowed at that as if remembering something. They smoothed instantly.

"Well Feyre Darling, I wouldn't want to make you late for your date-"

"No, you wouldn't" I cut in. I might have sounded rude, but it was the only way I was going to go on my date with Azriel and not cancel it. I dusted the dirt off my pants, and walked off, making sure not to look back at him, not hearing him sigh, not hearing him say, "I'll be waiting, Feyre Darling."

The restaurant was extremely fancy, with gold chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. The furniture was all brown, and though it looked expensive they all had a worn aura to them. It was like everything in here was well used. I could smell the food from the kitchen and it smelt heavenly. I walked along the hardwood floor, my shoes creating a little click-clack sound.

I spotted Azriel a few tables away. He was reading the menu, his dark hair falling on his face. He looks like a shadow. I thought. My hands itched to paint it, to have swirling black shadows around him, whispering to him, curling around his caramel brown ears.

GET IT TOGETHER FEYRE, god. I shook myself for good measure and walked up to Azriel's table. He must have heard the sound my shoes made because he looked up before I was at the table. He got up and pulled out my seat. I blushed a bit and thanked him.

"So, Feyre right?"

"Yep, the one and only."

"You are an amazing drunk texter." I whipped my head to his face and stared at him my eyes a bit wide. He had a small smile, his eyes full of amusement.

"Why thank you Azriel," I said smugly, not giving him the satisfaction of my embarrassment. No way in hell was I going to tell him Alis had looked at every text before I sent them.

"You know, it seems like it was too good," he said in a low whisper, gliding his finger across the rim of his glass of water. "Like somebody helped you."

I sputtered, trying to come up with a good explanation, and all the smugness I had before had mysteriously vanished. How did he guess?

"I'm in the CIA Feyre, I know how to find out people's secrets." Oh god, I said that last part out loud.

Before I could say anything the waiter came to ask what we wanted. I looked through the menu and smiled. They had mushroom ravioli. I had gone through a big Twilight Phase, and sometimes I wondered if I ever got over it. I ordered the mushroom ravioli, and I forced Az to get the same thing.

We started talking about Twilight, and I found out that he secretly loved the books and movies. I thanked the mother when he said he was Team Edward, gods knows what I would have said to him if he was Team Jacob. We talked about how there should have been more carlesme, how Rosalie deserved better, and we both had a love for Garrett. He also talked a bit about his time at the CIA, though he couldn't share much. The more I talked with Az, the more I realized that we wouldn't work as a couple, but I would do anything to have him as a friend, family even. Even though I was smiling, I felt huge guilt in me. I was going to have to hurt this man. I also realized that Elain would work well with him, I would give him her number. Dang Feyre you really like to play matchmaker don't you.

We finished our dinner, and we were outside the restaurant when I decided I would tell him.

"Az-"

"Yes, I would like to stay friends Feyre." His eyes were warm and kind, not sad or mad at all. I stared at him in shock.

"H-"

"I work for the CIA remember? I saw it in your eyes and body language."

"Oh. Thanks, Az, I'm super glad I made a new friend." I smiled up at him and hugged him. He stiffened for a second before hugging me back. I made sure to give him Elain's number before I walked back home. I felt so much lighter, Even though I wasn't making any boyfriends I was making friends, friends I knew I would remember forever.

Taglist:

@feysandandnyxsworld

message me if u want to be a part of it :)

[foreficfandom]

Mystic Messenger - Domestic Disputes And Bad Habits (mysme x MC)

--- Zen ---

He hadn’t lived with anyone for years. After running away from home, he struggled with housing, sometimes couch surfing and sometimes he had legitimate leases. And when he lived with others, he was usually the ‘messy roommate’ because leaving home at a young age meant little opportunity to learn how to manage a living space. 

Even now, his apartment is relatively clean largely by virtue of him not owning a lot of stuff. He doesn’t cook so no dishes to clean, he doesn’t own loose knick knacks to spread around. 

When he housed you for a couple days prior to the first RFA party, he had quickly cleaned his apartment of empty beer cans and loose socks, which made it look like he was a man who kept a clean house. But unfortunately, that wasn’t the case, and by the next afternoon you noticed random articles tossed over chairs and upon the floor.

That was fine when it was only his space, but when the two of you began living together, Zen quickly had to learn that it wasn’t acceptable to shed his clothing upon the floor all the time, especially when the laundry basket was right there. No, Zen, get your loose socks out of the couch cushions. Zen, stop piling up empty cigarette boxes on the nightstand. Zen, once you’ve unwrapped the sheet mask from its plastic envelope would it kill you to throw it away, instead of leaving it on the bathroom counter?

He’s consistent when it comes to chores like doing the laundry and taking out the trash. But asking him to hang up his jacket instead of letting it crumple in the corner? It’s like getting blood from a stone. 

After a while, you finally get him to pick up after himself. “It’s our home, now,” you said. “Not just yours.” A promise that said he wasn’t alone, anymore. And he took it to heart.  

--- Yoosung ---

It may seem like his depression-ruled lifestyle seemed to change overnight, but that wasn’t the case. Sure, he did regain a lot of his motivation and energy, but simply getting a new lease on life won’t overrule years of neglecting yourself.

You’d text him in preparation for a date, only to arrive and find out he hasn’t even left his bed since he replied with an ‘I’ll get ready!’ More than once your dates had to be rescheduled because Yoosung had been stuck in bed, or still in his pajamas on his desktop. 

On the third time you voiced your complaints, Yoosung got a bit defensive. He couldn’t help it, it’s hard for him to maintain a tidy schedule after so long lacking the proper will. 

It was a terse discussion. Your first couple fight, if you will. “Yoosung, are you sure you’re okay? You don’t want to seek professional help?” “No, MC, I’m fine. What could a counselor possibly help me with?”

It was Yoosung’s own initiative to finally google some nearby therapists during a particularly slow morning. He didn’t tell you he’d been seeing someone until four sessions in, since he struggles with the idea that he might need help. You hug him tightly and treat the both of you to tasty pastries at a cute bakery. 

Yoosung took his therapy to heart. He started slow, working on self-affirming mindfulness and motivating himself to tidy his living space. Then he worked on his time management, which helped his schooling and energy both. 

Within the year, both you and Yoosung saw progress. He felt better, which made his life better. More time to live. More time to spend with you.

--- Jaehee ---

Domestic arguments didn’t arise until you moved in with her. Before that point, Jaehee and you meshed so gracefully, it was damn near magical. 

Even moving into her place and having to carry around heavy couches and unpack a million boxes didn’t dampen that honeymoon phase. You loved witnessing Jaehee’s hidden strength as she tugged your mattress down seven flights of stairs. 

But within a week of living with her, you noticed that you and her ... clashed when it came to interior living. You kept using up the hot water before Jaehee could take a shower. She would misplace your possessions thoughtlessly. The both of you thought each other as messier. 

It was like a new roommate situation. At first, the two of you tried to calmly talk these things out. But new issues would arise after the old ones were resolved. She didn’t like how you tossed your coat across the desk chair, or left the living room lamps on during the night. 

“It’s my apartment, MC!” “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought being your co-owner at the cafe we co-manage meant my co-money go into our co-rent!”

Jaehee went to work in a huff, leaving you to your own devices. Alone in the apartment, you decided to do some regular chores, and as you rested for a minute you absorbed the living space - you could see Jaehee’s touch in ever corner, thoughtfully and carefully labored over. It really almost seemed like your mindless efforts were invading her space.

When Jaehee returned that evening, the two of you tried to apologize at the same time. “Oh, sorry, you go -” “No, you, sorry for interrupting -”

“It’s just ... MC, I want to apologize for treating you like a naughty guest. You’re my partner now and deserve more say in our home.”

You made up and eventually the apartment evolved into a true home between the two of you. A perfect representation of your love.

--- Jumin ---

The dude can be shockingly conservative. In the beginning, it only manifested in him being somewhat of a prude. “I wish you wouldn’t wear that particular dress to the social. You look more beautiful when you show less skin.” “... you mean you’d personally prefer I didn’t show much skin, right?” “Yes? What was wrong with my previous sentence?”

But sometimes he’d be watching the news and blurt out, “I’m not sure if marriage between two men should be recognized by law.” Which leads to you trying to convince him that he’s being very unethical. 

He usually ends up saying something like, “I’m sorry, love, I’m rather uneducated when it comes to this issue,” and leave it at that. Because he’s not some right-wing jackass or anything, he just grew up in an isolated Christian family and never really got to socialize beyond that. So he never learned about viewpoints that challenged what he heard growing up.

It can be infuriating, though, especially with issues you’re concerned about. Because Jumin just kinda tries to compromise by taking a non-stance, since he just doesn’t have a strong opinion on things like reproductive rights or colonialism. It’s partially due to his sheltered background, and partially due to being raised to literally be conservative in his life dealings.

But after seeing you becoming more and more frustrated, he digs a little deeper and realizes that he’s kinda being an ass.  Eventually he begins to say things like, “I think you’re right, MC. Demonizing drug abusers is antithesis to their recovery. They deserve sympathy instead.”

But a pleasant surprise is his appreciation for climate conservation. He likes to donate and fund green power initiatives because he believes in preserving the environment and preventing nature exploitation. You join his efforts, and he finally understands how important it is to have solidarity from your significant other.

--- Saeyoung/707 ---

Being merely twenty-three years old (not to mention his neglected upbringing) leads to some rocky relationship problems. His self-doubt and anxiety can go wild during his worse days, making him revert back to his colder personality and try to push you away once more.

It doesn’t manifest as just him ignoring you. His mind can make him do some really round-about sabotaging. One day, you open the kitchen cabinets to see it all the objects thrown within haphazardly. You confronted Saeyoung and it took hours before he coldly confessed that he was considering throwing away all your favorite foods, before realizing how fucked up that would be and quickly replacing it all again. 

He knew it was his mother’s influence talking. And the thought made him sick. 

Sometimes, you responded to his darker days with loving patience and lots of hugs while he allows himself to break down. Sometimes, you choose to distance yourself a bit. Either way, Saeyoung’s mood eventually evens out. The two of you talk at length about why he feels the way he does, and why he’s propelled to do these things. As time goes on, his dark moods pop up less and less.

On a lighter note, Saeyoung can be a pretty messy dude. Partly because of his underlying mental issues, partly because that’s the type of guy he is. He doesn’t shower as much as you like him to, and he tosses trash just ... everywhere. If his bunker wasn’t so big, the clutter he alone produces would bury you both. No wonder he needed a ‘maid’. 

Yeah, it takes more than a few pushes to make him stop being a slob. He eventually owns up, but not without some effort. Everyone living in the house is grateful. 

--- Saeran ---

It took many months before Saeran felt stable enough to start integrating into normal society, and even longer before his daily schedule began to stabilize beyond surprise breakdowns, spreads of bad days spent holed up, or horrible dips in moods.

Saeran would always live with dissociative identity disorder, and during the first few years it could get tough. Both ‘Suit’ and Ray would be triggered seemingly without warning, and sometimes last for days. Ray did anything he could to earn your affection, ‘Suit’ defected his fears by trying to provoke you. 

Therapy and medication was an ongoing process. You and Saeran went through more than a couple of therapists before finding the ‘one’. Medications had to be tried then dropped because of side effects, or lack of effectiveness. There were long periods of months in-between where all he could do was hope this new treatment would be more effective than the last.

‘Suit’ once got particularly violent with you, not hitting but shaking you by the shoulders and screaming in your face, “Just say it!! You hate me ... you want to hurt me!!”

You found 'Suit’ later, crying and curled up in a corner. After long coaxing, he confessed that he was so afraid you were eventually going to hurt him, so he was pushing you to see if you’d do it. 

And Ray’d do things like blow away all his saved up money to buy you gifts in a desperate show of affection. Just because the two of you were living in a safe, stable environment doesn’t mean old haunts wouldn’t pop up.

Saeran eventually got better and better. Looking back now, Saeran is so much happier. He never lets you forget your amazing influence on him. “Thank you for saving me, my love.” 

--- Jihyun ---

He’s the perfect example of a loving boyfriend. After his two years spent in a therapeutic journey of self-discovery, he returned ready to be a reliable partner. And for the most part, he lived up to it, barring some moments where he accidentally gets sucked into bad memories.

Insomnia is the most common problem. Settling down to sleep means his mind gets easily swamped, and when he does manage to sleep he wakes up during the night and gets overwhelmed with memories once again. Some nights are worse than others.

He tries not to get up from the bed to avoid waking you too, but you eventually develop a second sense for his insomnia spells and you can feel it when he’s struggling. Then he feels bad that he’s affecting you this way.

See, that’s his problem that he can’t resolve on his own. He thinks of his problems as obstacles that bother others, and not the obstacles themselves. This prevents him from finding ways to truly resolve them. 

“I’m sorry, MC. Go back to sleep.” “... Jihyun, how many nights has it been since you’ve slept properly?” He measures it by the nights you’ve been kept awake too, and you stop him there.

“Don’t you see? It’s not about me. Think about your own health.”

And that’s not easy for him. He had obsessed over being a figure that offers unconditional love for so long, it’s hard to shed it. He thinks of his mother and his eyes grow wet. 

He and you find a relationship therapist, and it helps a lot. Jihyun’s two years of self-discovery did wonders for his mood, but it took a bit of professional aid to really unravel the really complicated stuff. 

He feels his state of thinking shift gradually, and it makes his life less cloudy, less stuck in those bad memories and regrets. Instead, he goes to sleep every night thinking about how much he loves you and his family. His heart falls asleep feeling light instead of heavy. 

[soft--dragon]

Home Again

Five is still figuring out how to adjust to his new body and new life, surrounded by real people who cared

In which the Umbrella fam is worried about Five, and Five gets the damn hug he needs

Cursing (I wish I could say it was minor, but this is Five and his chaotic siblings were talking about here)

Don’t really know where this is set, sometime during season 1, I had an idea so I just wrote it (Vanya isn’t in this though she’s every bit deserving to be in the Umbrella Family as the rest of them)

Enjoy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five knew it wasn’t going to be a good day.

It was a feeling that settled in his gut the longer the day dragged on. He jumped from his room to the kitchen, startling Klaus, and probably Ben who Five assumed was close by.

Klaus quickly got over his momentary shock, blinking a few times, taking in the bags under Five’s eyes and slump in his posture.

“You look like shit dude.”

It was a blunt statement from Klaus, one that deserved an equally blunt retort from Five. “Fuck off.”

The smallest of the Umbrella Academy dumped the contents of the coffee pot into a mug, taking a large gulp of the dark, rich liquid. He sighed at the familiar taste, swirling the half of the remainder before downing that too. Klaus visibly recoiled, eyebrows shooting to his hairline.

“Five, you might want to take it easy on the coffee, you’re in a body that isn’t built to hold that much caffeine.”

“That’s rich coming from the guy that’s killing himself with drugs and alcohol” Five bit back, eyes narrowing at his brother.

Klaus quickly raised his hands in surrender, hoping it might relax the riled boy in front of him. “Calm down Five, I was just-”

Five jumped before he could finish the sentence, taking what remained in the coffee pot with him.

“....That...could’ve gone better” Ben said from where he was sitting on the dining table, a contemplative look on his face.

“Yeah no shit genius” Klaus grumbled, crossing his arms firmly. “But at least he didn’t stab me.”

“Diego’s more likely to do that than Five, Klaus.”

“Fair point.”

Ben turned to look at where Five had disappeared, anxiety prickled at his skin. Something wasn’t right with his baby brother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Allison wasn’t phased when she heard a loud thump close to her room. In this household, random noises were entirely normal. This was a mansion with six supernatural people, plus a mom robot and a advanced chimpanzee.

But what sounded like glass breaking and a hissed curse made Allison stand and move to the door. What she found, wasn’t what she expected.

Five was kneeling on the floor, rubbing his head and glaring daggers at the shards of glass surrounding him. The carpet was stained with what smelled like coffee.

“Five?”

The boy’s glare snapped up to Allison who had the sense to not react lest she agitate him further. Five was like a feral cat sometimes, had to be slow and unthreatening for him to give you the slightest sign of trust.

She leaned against the doorway, trying to appear casual. “You alright?”

“Fine.” The reply was curt and rough, like Five was trying not to let too much emotion slip out.

“Need a hand cleaning that up?”

“No, I’m more than capable Allison.”

“I know you are, I was just offering to help-”

Five hissed another curse and with a blink of light, he was gone again. Leaving Allison confused and a little hurt in his wake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t a smooth jump.

Five stumbled over his feet, similar to outside Allison’s room where he dropped the coffee pot. He almost face planted, but managed to catch himself on a nearby desk.

“Jesus Christ Five!”

The shout made him start, leaping into a defensive stance, almost snarling like an animal. His gaze fell on Diego lying on his bed. He was clutching his chest and a knife tightly, breathing rapidly. Probably coming down from the momentary adrenaline rush of fright.

“Why the hell are you in my room!?” Diego asked, but there was no real heat behind his words, mostly confusion.

Five didn’t pick up on the lack of venom, instead challenging the question with his own spiteful words.. “I didn’t do it on purpose asshole!” He snapped, gripping the desk tighter when he felt himself tether on his feet.

Diego must’ve seen it cause he sat up, putting the knife down. His usual glare being replaced by raised eyebrows and worried eyes. “Five, you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine! Why does everyone keep asking me that?!”

Diego’s worry disappeared in a split second at the sharp retort. He glared back in response, feeling his anger rise like a wild fire. “Because we care? Don’t know why we bother though, seeing as you piss on every attempt of basic emotion we give you.”

Five flinched back, gritting his teeth to ignore the pain that sentence gave him, but good god did it sting. He blinked away before Diego saw how much that statement hurt. He refused to show weakness.

But Deigo had seen it. Guilt and regret pooled into his stomach, staring at the spot where Five has just been. “Damn it” he hissed to himself, pinching the skin between his eyes.

Five hadn’t had proper company throughout his years in the apocalypse. He was relearning the ropes of socialising with his family. And adjusting to life in general.

Deigo sagged onto his bed, gripping his knife like a life line.

Why did he never think before speaking?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luther was probably the very last person Five wanted to see right now. And to make matters worse, he was accompanied by Pogo and Grace.

The universe seemed to love kicking him when he was down.

The trio looked over when Five blinked into existence, close to falling down again due to his exhaustion of late nights and constant jumping.

“Oh hello sweetie” Grace smiled pleasantly, though concern shone through her robotic features at Five’s state. “Are you al-?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine” Five cut her off, waving a hand in their general direction. He needed to jump again. Away from people for awhile.

“Master Five” Pogo spoke up. “You seem exhausted?”

“Late night Pogo” Five replied shortly, hoping he’d be satisfied with the answer and leave him alone. He went to leave the room when a strong, yet gentle grip caught his upper arm.

It didn’t matter to Five that it was gentle. The fact was, it was still a grip.

He swung round in barely contained panic, throwing a fist. It slammed against Luther’s jaw. Though it barely making the bulkier man shift, the look on his face said everything Five knew Luther was feeling.

Shock, concern, anger, maybe even fear.

He jumped for a fourth time, leaving Luther, Pogo and Grace behind in varying levels of distress.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five hit the ground again, almost screaming every foul word he knew right then and there in frustration. He wasn’t trying to be a dick. Honest to god he wasn’t. But his siblings were just so- so....caring. He wasn’t used to it, he wasn’t used to having others around, except Dolores.

They all wanted to help him. He suspected it was because of his form, he looked so vulnerable that they felt a need to protect and help him any way they could. It was kinda sweet really, but so incredibly forgein to him. He reacted the only way he knew how. With anger.

It was the only emotion he had been feeling these days. Anger at himself for screwing up the equation that got him stuck like this. Anger that he wasn’t able to save his family from the apocalypse. Anger because he wasn’t damn smart enough to figure out how to save the world.

Horror swirled in Five’s gut when his vision became blurred, the tears slipping from his eyes and onto the carpet. He swiped a furious arm across his eyes but it did nothing to stem the flow. He scrambled to his feet, running down the hall. He had to get to his room. If he got there, he could hide, and the others would never know he was crying.

Why couldn’t he jump? His mind was muddled. He couldn’t see. He could barely breathe.

He slammed into something solid. He would’ve fallen to the ground if a tender hold to his arms didn’t stop him. He could hear someone talking, but he couldn’t place them. It was all too much right now. All he could see was ash, taste it on his tongue, feel it on his skin.

He screamed, not knowing what else to do, tears streaming down his face. His heartbeat pounded in his ears, everyhing was too damn loud.

But then he felt...warm? It was like a heavy blanket had been put around his shoulders. He clung into the source of the warmth, desperately to not let it go. To not back to the freak show he’d been forced to live with for 45 years.

“...ive! Five you’re okay, please just breathe for me, breathe you can do it.”

He knew that voice, he knew it. It wasn’t Dolores, it couldn’t have been Reginald he was dead-

“Five please, please just breathe.”

Five complied, trying to draw in air but coughing when he couldn’t get in a full breath.

“That’s it buddy, you’re doing so good, come on, in and out.”

Five tried again, fingers digging into a soft material.

“You’ve got it, you’re doing great Five.”

Five drew in another breath, feeling his head clear. He pitched forward heavily, being caught by a sturdy figure.

“Good job Five” a soft voice murmured praisingly. “I’m proud of you.”

Five blinked a few times, the tears in his eyes not fully receding. Above him was black hair, kind eyes and a soft smile.

“B-Ben?”

The ghost smiled wider, gently squeezing Five’s arms in confirmation. “Yeah, feel better now bud? Got it out of your system?”

Five’s hesitated then his head fell against his brother’s collarbone, sniffing. “Yeah...”

“You wanna tell me what triggered it?”

Five’s fist clenched Ben’s jacket tighter. “Memories” he mumbled.

Ben nodded his understanding. They stayed like that for awhile, Ben holding his little brother tightly to his chest, rubbing his back comfortingly. It felt nice, but Five’s anxiety wouldn’t stop spiking.

“I’m scared Ben...”

The small, unsure voice that spoke broke Ben’s heart. He squeezed Five tighter to him. Wishing he could take away all the pain and fear Five had to deal with during his time in the apocalypse. Take that away and give him his childhood back. See the boy laugh with a sparkle in his eye like he used to when they were all young. He dropped a kiss into Five’s hair, resting his head atop his smaller brother’s.

“I know” he murmured, “and I’m sorry you had to be alone for so long. I’m so sorry Five.”

The pair stood, arms wrapped around each other for a long time. Ben lost track of the minutes that went by. Though he did notice Five was getting steadily heavier in his arms. When he looked down, the boy was out.

Ben shook his head fondly, lifting Five into his arms. He paused for a moment. Had he always been this light? Ben couldn’t remember Five ever feeling so...small.

He shook off the surprise, carrying his sibling to Five’s room, gently easing him onto the bed. He sat on the edge, watching Five sleep, taking in how young he looked, but aware of how old he was. Having seen death and destruction at every turn. Years spent in solitude, forced to survive in a barren wasteland for years. It was horrid of think about.

Ben’s hand phased out of reality for a moment as he brushed it through his brother’s hair. Five nuzzled into the touch, eyebrows finally relaxing and giving him a look of peace.

“Sleep well Five” Ben murmured. “Your family will be here when you wake up, I promise.”