#wish I was still in my hugging random strong dudes phase (not really. though... it was nice)
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lol that post reminded me that there was this guy in school, his only hobby was going to the gym and his arms were huge. he was kind of a jerk, but, his arms were huge 🤷, so I just. spent a looot of time one year hugging him. that's so weird to think about now.
#and. this was when I was 20#so not like. oh I was 15 and a hormonal teenager#no I was just obsessed with thor and. well yeah that was literally it. I mean the guy was. hm. he was charming and all that crap. not even#good looking just. he was there he was strong and he gave excellent hugs#so when I got together with my now husband the next year my teacher was like I thought you were with [that guy]? lol#damn ten years really do change things :')#wish I was still in my hugging random strong dudes phase (not really. though... it was nice)#ugh I need more hugs
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3rd Times a Charm, Chap 4
GUYS I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY I FINALLY HAD TIME TO WRITE, hope you enjoy!
I woke up shaking. No someone was shaking me.
"FEYRE." Someone screamed my name. Alis. I jumped out of bed. What was going on? Was Tamlin here? Was Alis's ex here? Did the bakery near us run out of blueberry muffins?
Alis's expression was not scared or frightened or angry but full of excitement. "Your tired ass fell asleep before I could get you to spill the beans on your date. So what happened? You don't have that it was a good date smile, why? TELL ME."
"Slow down Alis, your gonna give me a headache at 6 in the morning."
"It's actually 5 pm, and I made you coffee it's on your side table. I added a bit of creamer just like you like it."
"You're a lifesaver, Alis. A gift sent from the gods." she chuckled as I greedily took the mug from the side table and drank the coffee. I could feel the heavenly liquid coursing through my veins, making me more alert.
"Oh and that violet-eyed dude is in the kitchen." I choked on my coffee and whipped my head to her. "What." Rhys- Rhysand was here? For how long? Why was he here? To see me? Don't be stupid Feyre, I thought. I thought we agreed that disappointment was fake.
I leaped out of bed and stumbled to my closet, looking for something nice to wear. What hadn't I gone shopping with Alis when she asked? I rummaged through my closet when I noticed a bag near the door of my closet. I picked it up and looked inside. There was a deep blue blouse, baggy light-washed jeans, and tiny hoop earrings. Had I bought these? When? I never went shopping, Ha-
"I got that for you this morning!" Alis hollered. Alis was really a lifesaver. I thanked her 5 times and promised to make it up to her until she shouted at me to go change, and I ran into the bathroom, making sure not to run into Rhysand.
I put on the outfit, and I had to admit I looked good. Even though the jeans were loose, You could still see my curves and gods the blouse. For some reason, it reminded me of Rhysand and those impossible violet eyes. He was so beautiful, though I would never admit it because his ego would skyrocket. He looked inhumanly beautiful like he was something else, something much more powerful. I w-
"FEYRE WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?"
I jumped and slammed back into reality. Stop daydreaming Feyre, he doesn't like you. End of story. I quickly put on the earrings and opened the door, Alis was sprawled on the bed and jumped up when she saw me. She squealed and said "Feyre you look amazing! I knew those clothes would look amazing on you for your date-"
"DATE?" I screamed. Date?! When had I agreed to go on a date with Rhysand? He obviously wasn't interested in me, what was going on?
Her eyes were filled with suspicion for a moment, but then turned to shock and amusement
"So you don't remember anything from last night?" What the hell is she talking about?
"Obviously not! How the hell did I get another date?!"
Alis told me about last night, how I woke her up when I dropped a wine glass when I went to get some at 3 in the morning, how we ended up drinking wine, laughing, talking, and then going on my phone. She told me how I messaged another guy, I found out was Azriel, and asked for a date, he agreed and I told him to pick the place. Alis had then passed out but I must have messaged more because there were so many messages, full of random talks, and I realized we were talking about Again but Better by Christine Riccio, a novel we both enjoyed immensely but he seemed shy to admit it. Gods Feyre, what have you done? Wait isn't Rhysand in the house?! Wait why do you care whether he hears you, he DOESNT like you!
Alis must have seen my confusion, because then she smirked and said casually "Oh yeah, Rhysand isn't really here I just said that because that is the only way to get you out of bed."
I glared at her, but I couldn't really be mad at her, she was right. And that surprised me.
I decided not to eat breakfast because my date, Azriel was taking me somewhere. I was scrolling through the pictures on tinder and our past conversations. I had to admit, he looked gorgeous. He was muscled like Rhys and Cassian, but his eyes were different. Not different like Rhys and the same hazel like Cassians, but like they had shadows in them. He looked as if he would have shadows around him, curling in his ear to tell him things. There you go again Feyre, your artist's eye is very weird these days.
I shook my head and stood up. It was almost 6, and I had to walk to the restaurant we were going to. He had offered to pick me up when we were talking last night, but I was still too suspicious of paranoid to go in a car with a man. I thanked that my drunk self spared my embarrassment and did not tell him that.
I said goodbye to Alis and she wished me luck, with her nephews in her lap. I smiled and hugged them both before leaving.
Velaris was the perfect weather tonight, warm but with a cooling breeze that blew the hair out of my face. It was 5:40, and the sun looked like it was going to set soon. The clouds looked like a painting, and I was enraptured in them. I could never paint clouds like that, could never get the shadows right, c-
One second I was thinking about the clouds, and the next second my body slammed into something. Yet again, not something, but someone. I lost balance from the blow, but someones strong, definitely a mans, hands reached and put his arm around my waist. The hand felt familiar. The scent was similar too. I looked at who had saved me from probably getting a really bad butt bruise and saw a pair of violet eyes. Shit
"Feyre Darling, it seems I am always bumping into you. not that I'm complaining." He had his signature smirk, his violet eyes dancing with amusement. I wanted to paint those eyes so badly, to find the right-DATE FEYRE. You have a date.
"Prick" I mumbled, and he chuckled. He released his hold on me, and a small part of me wished he kept it there. His eyes widened a bit as he took me in, drinking in every. Single. Inch. Of. Me. He lingered on my lips, and something pooled low in my stomach. Shitshitshitshitshit.
"So why are you so dressed up? Not that I'm mad, you look delicious." I might have blushed a bit at that, but I was also annoyed that he had such a hold over me. I needed to get back on track. Date with Azriel.
"If you must know you busybody I am going on a date." Again his eyes dimmed a bit, but I told myself it was fake, how could eyes dim? A growing part of me snorted at that and said, Oh you wait.
"Last Night's one was that good? Damn, what did your date do?" I appreciated that he respected and did not make assumptions about my sexuality, most men I knew, scratch that, all men I knew other than Cassian and Rhys would do that.
"Yesterday's date and I realized we could be way better as friends, but I gave him my sister's number." His brows furrowed at that as if remembering something. They smoothed instantly.
"Well Feyre Darling, I wouldn't want to make you late for your date-"
"No, you wouldn't" I cut in. I might have sounded rude, but it was the only way I was going to go on my date with Azriel and not cancel it. I dusted the dirt off my pants, and walked off, making sure not to look back at him, not hearing him sigh, not hearing him say, "I'll be waiting, Feyre Darling."
The restaurant was extremely fancy, with gold chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. The furniture was all brown, and though it looked expensive they all had a worn aura to them. It was like everything in here was well used. I could smell the food from the kitchen and it smelt heavenly. I walked along the hardwood floor, my shoes creating a little click-clack sound.
I spotted Azriel a few tables away. He was reading the menu, his dark hair falling on his face. He looks like a shadow. I thought. My hands itched to paint it, to have swirling black shadows around him, whispering to him, curling around his caramel brown ears.
GET IT TOGETHER FEYRE, god. I shook myself for good measure and walked up to Azriel's table. He must have heard the sound my shoes made because he looked up before I was at the table. He got up and pulled out my seat. I blushed a bit and thanked him.
"So, Feyre right?"
"Yep, the one and only."
"You are an amazing drunk texter." I whipped my head to his face and stared at him my eyes a bit wide. He had a small smile, his eyes full of amusement.
"Why thank you Azriel," I said smugly, not giving him the satisfaction of my embarrassment. No way in hell was I going to tell him Alis had looked at every text before I sent them.
"You know, it seems like it was too good," he said in a low whisper, gliding his finger across the rim of his glass of water. "Like somebody helped you."
I sputtered, trying to come up with a good explanation, and all the smugness I had before had mysteriously vanished. How did he guess?
"I'm in the CIA Feyre, I know how to find out people's secrets." Oh god, I said that last part out loud.
Before I could say anything the waiter came to ask what we wanted. I looked through the menu and smiled. They had mushroom ravioli. I had gone through a big Twilight Phase, and sometimes I wondered if I ever got over it. I ordered the mushroom ravioli, and I forced Az to get the same thing.
We started talking about Twilight, and I found out that he secretly loved the books and movies. I thanked the mother when he said he was Team Edward, gods knows what I would have said to him if he was Team Jacob. We talked about how there should have been more carlesme, how Rosalie deserved better, and we both had a love for Garrett. He also talked a bit about his time at the CIA, though he couldn't share much. The more I talked with Az, the more I realized that we wouldn't work as a couple, but I would do anything to have him as a friend, family even. Even though I was smiling, I felt huge guilt in me. I was going to have to hurt this man. I also realized that Elain would work well with him, I would give him her number. Dang Feyre you really like to play matchmaker don't you.
We finished our dinner, and we were outside the restaurant when I decided I would tell him.
"Az-"
"Yes, I would like to stay friends Feyre." His eyes were warm and kind, not sad or mad at all. I stared at him in shock.
"H-"
"I work for the CIA remember? I saw it in your eyes and body language."
"Oh. Thanks, Az, I'm super glad I made a new friend." I smiled up at him and hugged him. He stiffened for a second before hugging me back. I made sure to give him Elain's number before I walked back home. I felt so much lighter, Even though I wasn't making any boyfriends I was making friends, friends I knew I would remember forever.
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Home Again
Five is still figuring out how to adjust to his new body and new life, surrounded by real people who cared
In which the Umbrella fam is worried about Five, and Five gets the damn hug he needs
Cursing (I wish I could say it was minor, but this is Five and his chaotic siblings were talking about here)
Don’t really know where this is set, sometime during season 1, I had an idea so I just wrote it (Vanya isn’t in this though she’s every bit deserving to be in the Umbrella Family as the rest of them)
Enjoy
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Five knew it wasn’t going to be a good day.
It was a feeling that settled in his gut the longer the day dragged on. He jumped from his room to the kitchen, startling Klaus, and probably Ben who Five assumed was close by.
Klaus quickly got over his momentary shock, blinking a few times, taking in the bags under Five’s eyes and slump in his posture.
“You look like shit dude.”
It was a blunt statement from Klaus, one that deserved an equally blunt retort from Five. “Fuck off.”
The smallest of the Umbrella Academy dumped the contents of the coffee pot into a mug, taking a large gulp of the dark, rich liquid. He sighed at the familiar taste, swirling the half of the remainder before downing that too. Klaus visibly recoiled, eyebrows shooting to his hairline.
“Five, you might want to take it easy on the coffee, you’re in a body that isn’t built to hold that much caffeine.”
“That’s rich coming from the guy that’s killing himself with drugs and alcohol” Five bit back, eyes narrowing at his brother.
Klaus quickly raised his hands in surrender, hoping it might relax the riled boy in front of him. “Calm down Five, I was just-”
Five jumped before he could finish the sentence, taking what remained in the coffee pot with him.
“....That...could’ve gone better” Ben said from where he was sitting on the dining table, a contemplative look on his face.
“Yeah no shit genius” Klaus grumbled, crossing his arms firmly. “But at least he didn’t stab me.”
“Diego’s more likely to do that than Five, Klaus.”
“Fair point.”
Ben turned to look at where Five had disappeared, anxiety prickled at his skin. Something wasn’t right with his baby brother.
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Allison wasn’t phased when she heard a loud thump close to her room. In this household, random noises were entirely normal. This was a mansion with six supernatural people, plus a mom robot and a advanced chimpanzee.
But what sounded like glass breaking and a hissed curse made Allison stand and move to the door. What she found, wasn’t what she expected.
Five was kneeling on the floor, rubbing his head and glaring daggers at the shards of glass surrounding him. The carpet was stained with what smelled like coffee.
“Five?”
The boy’s glare snapped up to Allison who had the sense to not react lest she agitate him further. Five was like a feral cat sometimes, had to be slow and unthreatening for him to give you the slightest sign of trust.
She leaned against the doorway, trying to appear casual. “You alright?”
“Fine.” The reply was curt and rough, like Five was trying not to let too much emotion slip out.
“Need a hand cleaning that up?”
“No, I’m more than capable Allison.”
“I know you are, I was just offering to help-”
Five hissed another curse and with a blink of light, he was gone again. Leaving Allison confused and a little hurt in his wake.
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It wasn’t a smooth jump.
Five stumbled over his feet, similar to outside Allison’s room where he dropped the coffee pot. He almost face planted, but managed to catch himself on a nearby desk.
“Jesus Christ Five!”
The shout made him start, leaping into a defensive stance, almost snarling like an animal. His gaze fell on Diego lying on his bed. He was clutching his chest and a knife tightly, breathing rapidly. Probably coming down from the momentary adrenaline rush of fright.
“Why the hell are you in my room!?” Diego asked, but there was no real heat behind his words, mostly confusion.
Five didn’t pick up on the lack of venom, instead challenging the question with his own spiteful words.. “I didn’t do it on purpose asshole!” He snapped, gripping the desk tighter when he felt himself tether on his feet.
Diego must’ve seen it cause he sat up, putting the knife down. His usual glare being replaced by raised eyebrows and worried eyes. “Five, you feeling alright?”
“I’m fine! Why does everyone keep asking me that?!”
Diego’s worry disappeared in a split second at the sharp retort. He glared back in response, feeling his anger rise like a wild fire. “Because we care? Don’t know why we bother though, seeing as you piss on every attempt of basic emotion we give you.”
Five flinched back, gritting his teeth to ignore the pain that sentence gave him, but good god did it sting. He blinked away before Diego saw how much that statement hurt. He refused to show weakness.
But Deigo had seen it. Guilt and regret pooled into his stomach, staring at the spot where Five has just been. “Damn it” he hissed to himself, pinching the skin between his eyes.
Five hadn’t had proper company throughout his years in the apocalypse. He was relearning the ropes of socialising with his family. And adjusting to life in general.
Deigo sagged onto his bed, gripping his knife like a life line.
Why did he never think before speaking?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luther was probably the very last person Five wanted to see right now. And to make matters worse, he was accompanied by Pogo and Grace.
The universe seemed to love kicking him when he was down.
The trio looked over when Five blinked into existence, close to falling down again due to his exhaustion of late nights and constant jumping.
“Oh hello sweetie” Grace smiled pleasantly, though concern shone through her robotic features at Five’s state. “Are you al-?”
“I’m fine, I’m fine” Five cut her off, waving a hand in their general direction. He needed to jump again. Away from people for awhile.
“Master Five” Pogo spoke up. “You seem exhausted?”
“Late night Pogo” Five replied shortly, hoping he’d be satisfied with the answer and leave him alone. He went to leave the room when a strong, yet gentle grip caught his upper arm.
It didn’t matter to Five that it was gentle. The fact was, it was still a grip.
He swung round in barely contained panic, throwing a fist. It slammed against Luther’s jaw. Though it barely making the bulkier man shift, the look on his face said everything Five knew Luther was feeling.
Shock, concern, anger, maybe even fear.
He jumped for a fourth time, leaving Luther, Pogo and Grace behind in varying levels of distress.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Five hit the ground again, almost screaming every foul word he knew right then and there in frustration. He wasn’t trying to be a dick. Honest to god he wasn’t. But his siblings were just so- so....caring. He wasn’t used to it, he wasn’t used to having others around, except Dolores.
They all wanted to help him. He suspected it was because of his form, he looked so vulnerable that they felt a need to protect and help him any way they could. It was kinda sweet really, but so incredibly forgein to him. He reacted the only way he knew how. With anger.
It was the only emotion he had been feeling these days. Anger at himself for screwing up the equation that got him stuck like this. Anger that he wasn’t able to save his family from the apocalypse. Anger because he wasn’t damn smart enough to figure out how to save the world.
Horror swirled in Five’s gut when his vision became blurred, the tears slipping from his eyes and onto the carpet. He swiped a furious arm across his eyes but it did nothing to stem the flow. He scrambled to his feet, running down the hall. He had to get to his room. If he got there, he could hide, and the others would never know he was crying.
Why couldn’t he jump? His mind was muddled. He couldn’t see. He could barely breathe.
He slammed into something solid. He would’ve fallen to the ground if a tender hold to his arms didn’t stop him. He could hear someone talking, but he couldn’t place them. It was all too much right now. All he could see was ash, taste it on his tongue, feel it on his skin.
He screamed, not knowing what else to do, tears streaming down his face. His heartbeat pounded in his ears, everyhing was too damn loud.
But then he felt...warm? It was like a heavy blanket had been put around his shoulders. He clung into the source of the warmth, desperately to not let it go. To not back to the freak show he’d been forced to live with for 45 years.
“...ive! Five you’re okay, please just breathe for me, breathe you can do it.”
He knew that voice, he knew it. It wasn’t Dolores, it couldn’t have been Reginald he was dead-
“Five please, please just breathe.”
Five complied, trying to draw in air but coughing when he couldn’t get in a full breath.
“That’s it buddy, you’re doing so good, come on, in and out.”
Five tried again, fingers digging into a soft material.
“You’ve got it, you’re doing great Five.”
Five drew in another breath, feeling his head clear. He pitched forward heavily, being caught by a sturdy figure.
“Good job Five” a soft voice murmured praisingly. “I’m proud of you.”
Five blinked a few times, the tears in his eyes not fully receding. Above him was black hair, kind eyes and a soft smile.
“B-Ben?”
The ghost smiled wider, gently squeezing Five’s arms in confirmation. “Yeah, feel better now bud? Got it out of your system?”
Five’s hesitated then his head fell against his brother’s collarbone, sniffing. “Yeah...”
“You wanna tell me what triggered it?”
Five’s fist clenched Ben’s jacket tighter. “Memories” he mumbled.
Ben nodded his understanding. They stayed like that for awhile, Ben holding his little brother tightly to his chest, rubbing his back comfortingly. It felt nice, but Five’s anxiety wouldn’t stop spiking.
“I’m scared Ben...”
The small, unsure voice that spoke broke Ben’s heart. He squeezed Five tighter to him. Wishing he could take away all the pain and fear Five had to deal with during his time in the apocalypse. Take that away and give him his childhood back. See the boy laugh with a sparkle in his eye like he used to when they were all young. He dropped a kiss into Five’s hair, resting his head atop his smaller brother’s.
“I know” he murmured, “and I’m sorry you had to be alone for so long. I’m so sorry Five.”
The pair stood, arms wrapped around each other for a long time. Ben lost track of the minutes that went by. Though he did notice Five was getting steadily heavier in his arms. When he looked down, the boy was out.
Ben shook his head fondly, lifting Five into his arms. He paused for a moment. Had he always been this light? Ben couldn’t remember Five ever feeling so...small.
He shook off the surprise, carrying his sibling to Five’s room, gently easing him onto the bed. He sat on the edge, watching Five sleep, taking in how young he looked, but aware of how old he was. Having seen death and destruction at every turn. Years spent in solitude, forced to survive in a barren wasteland for years. It was horrid of think about.
Ben’s hand phased out of reality for a moment as he brushed it through his brother’s hair. Five nuzzled into the touch, eyebrows finally relaxing and giving him a look of peace.
“Sleep well Five” Ben murmured. “Your family will be here when you wake up, I promise.”
#ben#klaus#allison#five#ptsd#fanfic#the umbrella academy#tua#luther#diego#pogo#grace#i am so sorry five#angst#hoo boy is angst a thing in this#ben is best bro#my fanfic
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