#winter wonderland milton keynes

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Real-Life Variations of a Theme Park (or Why Your Christmas Vacays must be HQ)

CW: TV show spoilers, stories of scams.

Perhaps you have watched the 1994 unaired episode of Dinosaurs, “Variations on a Theme Park.”

The head of the Sinclair household, Earl, notices myriad co-workers working themselves (literally) to death, thus, through a news report, rejoices over the announcement that employers have given their employees like him up to 2 weeks of vacation. Earl wanted to watch TV all the fortnight, but his wife Fran announces that they will be staying at a cabin in a swamp as a family.

But travel plans change for the Sinclairs - when WESAYSO CEO Mr. Richfield hands Earl a brochure of Wesaysoland and he gives it to Baby Sinclair, who pleads (via throwing a tantrum, of course) with Fran to take the family there instead of the cabin.

After Earl trades cash for redeemable currency for non-food items, the family arrives at the park, to find that it’s under construction. His eldest son, Robbie, has a sour experience with the teacups ride (which spins slowly) and his sister, Charlene, is merely tipped over at the rocket ride (which turns out to be a cardboard box).

The family is forced to spend the next 13 days in their hotel, doing off-the-grid activities (because the toilet, the refrigerator, the phone, and even the lighting all have usage fees).

Just when you think that the events in this 90s show are all fictional, some ignorant people experienced the same way the Sinclairs did in real life. That particularly includes Brits, who had lived the unaired episode IN REAL LIFE in the forms of trips to Lapland New Forest and Winter Wonderland Milton Keynes.

My digital artwork of the nativity billboard in C__pland New Forest.

The Sinclairs in and outside the Chilterns coughed up their hard-earned quid to experience Winter Wonderland when it opened December 14, 2013. They expected what the social media and websites herald - an ice rink, a meet-and-greet with Santa, and dog sleds.

Through those ads (and, presumably, tantrums from kids who saw them), they found something else. The park was erected on a muddy field with mobile carnival rides. The ice rink was tarped up and the dogs were chained. Santa’s grotto sporadically opened, much to the disdain of parents who paid premiums for a photo op.

The fake Santas were the worst -  they were young, slim men who wore red jumpsuits, loose beards and bad accents.

Winter Wonderland Milton Keynes was a foil of a similar park, Lapland New Forest, which opened and closed in 2008. Like the former, their website promised an ice rink, a tunnel of lights, and a photo op with Santa (or, Father Christmas, for that matter). It even promised appearances by Mickey and Minnie Mouse and Goofy Goof, skating on the said rink!

But families, who coughed up their hard-earned quid, saw things that had further tempered their already high expectations upon arrival.

The nativity scene was merely a mural on a billboard. The tunnel of lights is just a tree-lined passageway with a smattering of lights, Santa - whose photo op queue lasted up to 2 hours - was caught smoking, and the ice rink was inoperable.

Like Milton Keynes’s Stinky (sic) Wonderland, according to one of the patrons, Lapland New Forest was erected on a muddy field with shabby carnival rides.

Britons weren't the only ones making their own real-life takes of "Variations of a Theme Park" from Dinosaurs. Remember the "P-Weak Kids," fellow Aussies? (I wanna make the post as PG-rated as I can here.)

Their skits on The Late Show lampooned theme parks such as Warner Bros. Movie World, Universal Studios, and Disney's Hollywood Studios stateside at Walt Disney World in FL (as P-Weak Movie World); Frontierland in any flagship Disneyland park, including Magic Kingdom, also in FL (as P-Weak Western World); or SeaWorld (P-Weak Marine World).

If Santa’s Winter Village at The Ice Skating Edge in Noarlunga, South Australia, would’ve had an alternate name, it would be called P-Weak Winter World.

Opened and THEN closed in 2020, at the nadir of the COVID-19 pandemic, Santa’s Winter Village cost children 4 and older $38.50 AUD and a family of 4 $120 AUD to take pics in front of a cardboard gingerbread cottage adorned with plastic plates. The replica of The Polar Express was cheaply made, hoisted by a scooter.

Patrons and even some netizens who hadn't EVEN been to Santa’s Winter Village dubbed it the Fyre Festival Of Kids Santa Events, after the event in the Bahamas hosted by con artist Billy McFarland and rapper Ja Rule in the spring of 2017 THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

But longtime The Late Show hounds called it other aliases. Twitter user Steel Sheep was wont to call it "P-Weak World: the Christmas Spectacular."

"We have arranged with the team at The Ice Skating Edge to close Santa’s Winter Village today, stop selling tickets to the event and arrange refunds for those who have been disappointed by the event,” a spokesperson of the rink wrote in a Facebook-posted statement.

"We’ve listened to your feedback and, we agree, Santa’s Winter Village does not meet the expectations of our customers, the broader community or our team at Colonnades and we apologize for the disappointment and inconvenience this has caused our customers."

Lesson learned: if you want to take your kids out to somewhere fun for Christmas, do it early in December. And the place has to be of high quality, good, clean fun. As for theme parks, I strongly suggest reputable ones that open in the holiday season.

"(Lapland New Forest owner Henry Mears) and the rest of the Lapland gang should give all their disgruntled customers an all-expenses-paid trip to a real amusement park," Amy Sondova concluded on She is Beloved, "That’s right, I’m talking (Walt Disney World) - because despite what Lapland’s tag line says, Disney World is where your dreams really do come true."

But if you really can’t go to a reputable amusement park that hosts those Yuletide offerings, just remember to take those wise words of wisdom to heart:

Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays 'Cause no matter how far away you roam If you want to be happy in a million ways For the holidays You can't beat home, sweet home 

And simply taking a staycation for Christmas surely beats a real-life variation on a theme park any year.

And let’s end this post with a moment of silence for the Osborne Family Spectacle of Dancing Lights at DHS, taken 12/10/2015.

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Preparing for Snow Season

Some may think it’s a little too early to be thinking about winter sport – after all, we’re practically still in summer! However, those of you who have a passion for snowboarding or skiing Milton Keynes will know that when it comes to snow holidays, preparation is key and you can never prepare too early. There’s so much to think about, not to mention plenty of equipment and outdoor clothing Milton Keynes to save up for. Basically, the earlier you get planning, the more smoothly your winter of fun in the snow will be. See below some top preparation tips…

Start a saving pot

When you’re planning a holiday full of snowboarding Milton Keynes and exploring incredible mountains, you need to be realistic about your budget. Snow holidays aren’t the cheapest of trips, but they are so worth the money you spend. They’re unlike any other experience, and you won’t regret it – especially as you’re skiing Milton Keynes through the most breath-taking landscapes, taking in mind-blowing views. One idea that helps many with their budgeting is to start a snow holiday saving pot. At the end of every week leading up to your trip, put in any change you have (and any extra money you can, ideally!). Even if it pays for a few rounds in the après-ski bar, it’ll certainly come in handy.

Choose your equipment carefully

As the old saying goes, when you buy cheap, expect to buy twice. When you’re exploring the snowy mountains, you need to make sure you’re kitted out in outdoor clothing Milton Keynes that’s durable, warm and waterproof. As well as protecting you from the cold, your ski-wear needs to keep you safe should you have a fall on the slopes. There are plenty of great, stylish options to choose from these days, so make sure you do your research and only partake in snowboarding Milton Keynes when you’re in the most suitable clothing.

Get your lessons in

If you’re yet to take on the slopes, getting some lessons under your belt before your holiday is an absolute must. Whether you choose to go skiing Milton Keynes or snowboarding, there are certain techniques you’ll want to have nailed down before your trip. After all, you’ll want to explore your resort as much as you can, not spend the first few days getting to grips with things on the nursery slope. There are dry ski slopes as well as indoor snow slopes made of real snow to practise on, so don’t delay! Book in your skiing or snowboarding Milton Keynes lessons way ahead of your first winter wonderland adventure.

Speak to the experts

Finally, never forget that there are experts in snow sports who are so passionate and enthusiastic, and would simply love to help you out. For example, when you’re out looking for the proper outdoor clothing Milton Keynes, don’t be shy. Ask the advice of the store workers. When you go for your first lesson, be completely honest with your coach about how you’re feeling – they’re trained to give you the most help they can. You can even take to the internet and look at some online forums where people are more than willing to answer your questions.

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The first image of the the Musical family has today been released, as full casting for Kay Mellor’s new musical is unveiled. Fat Friends the Musical will premiere at Leeds Grand this November with an extensive UK tour to follow in 2018. Joining the previously announced cast, Natasha Hamilton (Atomic Kitten) will take on the role of Julia, Kevin Kennedy (Coronation Street) stars as Fergus and Rachael Wooding (We Will Rock You) appears as Joanne, alongside Jonathan Halliwell (Let It Shine) as Paul and Chloe Hart (Hairspray) as Val. Alan will be played by Neil Hurst, one of dozens of Yorkshiremen who applied for the role through an open audition call.

Also newly announced, What’s On Stage Award nominee Joel Montague, who recently starred alongside Sheridan Smith in Funny Girl, will share the role of Kevin with Andrew ‘Freddie’ Flintoff. Freddie will appear in Leeds, Southampton, Sheffield, Manchester, Birmingham, Bradford and Blackpool with Joel completing the remaining tour dates.

Futher cast includes: Craig Armstrong, Lizzie Bea, Paul Brangan, Emma Crossley, Ellie Leah, Laura Mansell and Ryan Pidgen. As previously announced, the cast is completed by Jodie Prenger and Natalie Anderson with Sam Bailey and Elaine C. Smith sharing the role of Betty.

Natasha Hamilton is best known for being one third of one of the UK’s most internationally successful girl groups of the last decade, Atomic Kitten. On stage she has starred as Mrs Johnston in Blood Brothers (Phoenix Theatre) and Rent (Touring).

Kevin Kennedy is most recognised for his 20-year portrayal of Norman ‘Curly’ Watts in ITV’s flagship soap Coronation Street (1983-2003). His theatre credits include Chicago (Adelphi Theatre), We Will Rock You (Dominion Theatre), Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (international tour), Hamlet (Sheffield Crucible) and Ducking Out (Duke of York’s).

Rachael Wooding’s leading stage credits include We Will Rock You (Dominion Theatre), Jersey Boys (Prince Edward Theatre), Hairpsray (Shaftsbury Theatre) Evita (UK Tour) and most recently she starred in the UK Tour of Wonderland and Street of Dreams. Television and film credits include Coronation Street (ITV), Doctors (BBC).

Joel Montague is currently appearing in School of Rock at the New London Theatre. He has an extensive stage career including Funny Girl (Savoy Theatre and Menier Chocolate Factory) for which he was nominated for the What’s On Stage Award for Best Supporting Actor in a Musical, The Producers (UK Tour), Urinetown (Apollo Theatre and St James Theatre), Rocky Horror Picture Show (UK Tour), and Tommy in Concert (Prince Edward Theatre).

Jonathan Halliwell was a finalist in the BBC contest, Let It Shine and will appear on screen in Kay Mellor’s upcoming BBC drama Love, Lies and Records. For stage he has appeared in White Christmas (Dominion Theatre).

Chloe Hart has appeared in Kinky Boots (Adelphi Theatre), A Damsel in Distress (Chichester Festival Theatre), Wicked (Victoria Palace), Les Miserables (Queens Theatre) and led the West End cast of Hairspray (Shaftesbury Theatre).

Neil Hurst started his career in Musical Theatre in shows such as Evita, Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and Me and My Girl. His most recent theatre work includes Gaudete for French theatre company Obra and The Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz. In television, Neil recently played the role of Gary Plunkett in BBC’s Home from Home. Other credits include The 4 O’Clock Club; The Jacksons; The Syndicate and Fresh Meat. Neil also played Vernon Kay’s comedy sidekick in several series of ITV’s All Star Family Fortunes.

Fat Friends, the award winning TV drama has been adapted for the stage by its creator and one of the UK’s most prolific writers, Kay Mellor, whose extensive television credits include hit series of Band of Gold, The Chase, The Syndicate, In the Club and whose stage credits include A Passionate Woman.

Produced by Joshua Andrews and Adam Spiegel, with original music and songs composed by Nicholas Lloyd Webber, Fat Friends – The Musical will open at Leeds Grand Theatre in November ahead of an extensive UK tour, visiting Bromley, Newcastle, Hull, Southampton, Sheffield, Southend, Milton Keynes, Norwich, Manchester, Nottingham, Birmingham, Dartford, Edinburgh, Cardiff, Glasgow, Belfast, Bradford, Aberdeen and Blackpool.

Fat Friends – the Musical is designed by Bretta Gerecke with choreography by Karen Bruce, musical supervision, orchestrations and arrangements from Simon Lee, sound design by two time Olivier Award winning Gareth Owen and lighting design from Tony Award nominated Nick Richings, Fat Friends – The Musical, sees the nation’s favourite group of dieters reunited as this new show bursts on to the stage.

The ‘weight’ is over; Packed full of warmth, life and weight loss, this brand new stage show reunites our favourite foodie friends in an original musical bulging with hopes, humour and heart. Join the infamous group of loveable characters as they are put through their Zumba paces at their local branch of Super Slimmer’s by the lovelorn Lauren whilst Kelly fantasises about fitting into the wedding dress of her dreams. Fat Friends offers a generous serving of hilarious fun with a sprinkle of romance on top!

Fat Friends hit television screens in October 2000, following the lives of a group of overweight friends as they struggle with the absurdities of modern dieting. Entertaining millions of viewers for five years on ITV, the show starred Alison Steadman, Gaynor Faye and Lisa Riley and launched the careers of James Corden and Ruth Jones. Written by Kay Mellor, the show was nominated for multiple awards including the BAFTA for Best Drama Series.

LISTINGS INFORMATION Joshua Andrews and Adam Spiegel present Fat Friends – The Musical By Kay Mellor Director: Kay Mellor Music by Nicholas Lloyd Webber Musical Supervisor, Orchestrations and Arrangements: Simon Lee Set and Costume Design: Bretta Gerecke Sound Design by Gareth Owen Lighting Design by Nick Richings

Tue 7 Nov – Sat 2 Dec LEEDS Grand Theatre 0844 848 2700

Tue 16 – Sat 20 Jan BROMLEY Churchill Theatre 020 3285 6000

Tue 23 – Sat 27 Jan NEWCASTLE Theatre Royal 0844 811 2121

Mon 29 Jan – Sat 3 Feb HULL New Theatre 01482 300 300

Mon 5 – Sat 10 Feb SOUTHAMPTON Mayflower Theatre 02380 711811

Mon 12 – Sat 17 Feb SHEFFIELD Lyceum 0114 249 6000

Mon 19 – Sat 24 Feb SOUTHEND Cliffs Pavilion 01702 351135

Mon 5 – Sat 10 Mar MILTON KEYNES Theatre 0844 871 7652

Mon 12 – Sat 17 Mar NORWICH Theatre Royal 01603 630000

Mon 19 – Sat 24 Mar MANCHESTER Opera House 0844 871 3018

Mon 26 – Sat 31 Mar NOTTINGHAM Theatre Royal 0115 989 5555

Tue 3 – Sat 7 Apr BIRMINGHAM New Alexandra Theatre 0844 871 3011 ON SALE 26 May

Mon 9 – Sat 14 Apr DARTFORD Orchard Theatre 01322 220000

Thu 19 – Sun 21 Apr EDINBURGH Playhouse 0844 871 3014

Tue 24 – Sat 28 Apr CARDIFF Wales Millennium Centre 029 2063 6464

Mon 30 Apr – Sat 5 May GLASGOW Kings Theatre 0844 871 7648 ON SALE

Mon 14 – Sat 19 May BRADFORD Alhambra Theatre 01274 432000

Mon 21 – Sat 26 May ABERDEEN His Majesty’s Theatre 01224 641122

Mon 28 May – Sat 2 Jun BLACKPOOL Winter Gardens 0844 856 1111

http://ift.tt/2vSNKKo LondonTheatre1.com

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Enjoy winter sports throughout summer

Summer may not typically be associated with exhilarating snow sports such as skiing or snowboarding Milton Keynes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy them throughout the warmer season as well as winter. There are indoor snow slopes available to visit that use real snow, giving an authentic experience and an amazing place to practise skills in the lead-up to snow season. There’s a fantastic slope where you can go skiing Milton Keynes in the centre of town, so if you’re passionate about winter sports and would love to continue them throughout the summer, you needn’t worry – there’s a fantastic place for you to go.

Anyone who’s tried a snow sport such as skiing or snowboarding Milton Keynes will know that it’s absolutely essential to be kitted out with the right gear before heading to the slopes. This includes items such as your thermals, waterproofs, gloves, helmets, goggles, poles, boots and more. Luckily, the snow centre based in Milton Keynes is right by a range of shops that specialise in outdoor clothing Milton Keynes. These stores offer a range of seasonal items, whether you’re looking for some new camping equipment to see you through the summer months or some high quality outdoor clothing Milton Keynes you can wear when you’re on the slopes. It’s extremely handy to have them so close by, especially when their staff can give you well-informed advice on what kind of items or products you need depending on your interest.

Once you’ve made sure you’ve got suitable equipment and outdoor clothing Milton Keynes to use on the slope, you’ll be ready to start your adventure. The indoor snow slope is a great resource for the area and provides fun times to all kinds of people. It’s naturally popular with avid fans of skiing Milton Keynes, but it’s also a place where beginners and those who are a little nervous on the slopes are very welcome.

The team at the slope offer lessons, both one-on-one and in groups, as well as offering a safe place for more experienced skiers to practise their runs. With skiing and snowboarding Milton Keynes being sports during which it’s easy to lose your balance and have a tumble, it’s important to learn the basics from a professional before diving in and taking on a slope. This will give you the right foundations on which to build your skills. It’s important to remember that safety comes first and to always take on advice from coaches and professionals when you’re taking part in winter sports such as skiing and snowboarding.

Whether you’re planning on slowly growing your skills in time for a winter wonderland holiday at the end of the year or you simply fancy trying a unique activity throughout the summer, taking on a snow slope is a wonderful idea. It’s great exercise, a lovely way to socialise and plenty of fun. Keep skiing Milton Keynes in mind the next time you’re looking for something fun and different to do – you won’t regret it!