#winter soldie x you

[buckyalpine]

Destined to be Yours

18+

Bucky x Reader

I’ve had this idea for a while with this concept and I hope it turned out well. This starts off dark with abuse from Hydra and forced breeding but I promise it will be sweet and fluffy afterwards throughout and with a happy ending. Please let me know if you liked this! 

Warnings: Angst, abuse from Hydra, forced breeding, pregnancy, so so much fluff, protective adorable Bucky, protective team, soft sweet smut

“Extract what we need” The doctor nodded to the nurse, injecting the asset with another sedative before the nurse laid out the vials, taking what she needed from the soldier as he laid unconscious. She worked quickly before he woke up, storing all the samples in a secure vault, dropping the temperature of the freezer to ensure they’d remain potent. His limp body was dragged off, locking him and chaining him in a cell, timing an hour before they would extract again. 

And again.

And again. 

“Sir, we have collected over 50 samples. 35 trails have been unsuccessful, the serum in the sample is too potent-

“THEN WE HAVE TO KEEP TRYING” The scientist boomed, his eyes wild while the doctor swallowed thickly, not arguing further. “The last of Zola’s serum was used on him. He is the perfect asset. Hundreds of kills. The world didn’t even know if he was real. A ghost. We don’t have another like him, keep extracting until his body can’t produce anymore” 

The scientist paced around the room, mind reeling over how long it would take until they were successful. They’d managed to capture the solider once again but it’d only be a matter of time before earths mightiest scum came for him. He shook his head in disgust and fury, glaring at the timer. 

“We finally got him back. We can’t loose him again”

 “There is a new potential we can use” The head doctors eyes lingered to the cell of their latest captive; hopefully this one would be strong enough to bear the child of the winter soldier.  

CELL 00

FEMALE, TRIAL #36

She blinked awake, confused about where she was, shivers running down her spine at the cold air that nipped her skin. She was barely able to focus her vision, left in nothing but her underwear; the last thing she remembered was feeling the jab of a needle to her neck. 

Then darkness.

Now she was here.

Locked in a cell. 

She went to rub her eyes, shocked to find her wrists bound in heavy shackles. She wanted to scream but sound wouldn’t come out, soundless cries ripping from her chest. The sound of whispers in a foreign language made her retreat to the back of her cell but it was pointless; where would she even go? 

“Prepare her for incubation” 

“What if it doesn’t work-

“THEN WE TRY AGAIN. Prepare her with the sample. We don’t have much time before they try to take him back” 

The door of the cell slammed open; a man in a white lab coat stalking over to her with two nurses in tow. Before she could blink, another needle was plunged into her veins, the world around her going hazy and muffled as the shackles were unlocked. They fell to the ground with a clink as she was carried out, the world fading black again. 

****

“Landing in 5, everyone suit up” Tony called out while Steve was already at the edge of the drop, waiting for the jet to open. Everyone joined by his side, jumping out as soon as the doors opened, landing softly on the snow covered roof. 

“I’m getting a heat signal from the lower west wing” Sam looked at the feed from Red wing, joining Steve while Tony, Nat and Clint went to clear rest of the Hydra facility. 

“Let us know when you have Barnes, explosives set to detonate in 10 minutes” Tony’s voice carried through the coms while Steve and Sam made their way through the maze like halls, each lit with flickering florescent lights. They reached the lab area, pushing through the doors and down to the cyro chambers and cells, to find Bucky lying down on a lab table, chains wrapped around his metal arm to keep him down. 

“Bucky, hey pal” Steve shook Bucky awake, breathing a sigh of relief seeing the soldiers eyes flutter open. 

“Steve?” Bucky blinked, looking up at his best friend hovering over him while he was still strapped to a table, a mild sedative dripping from an IV in his flesh arm. 

“Wakey, wakey cyborg” Sam carefully removed the IV, collecting some to test in the lab for when they got back. 

“Gotta say, didn’t expect deja vu like this” Steve cocked an eyebrow, remembering the last time he had found his friend in the exact same position after Hydra had first start to experiment on him. 

“Shut up punk” Bucky snorted, groaning as he flexed his limbs before tearing himself away from his chains and following Steve and Sam out of the cell. The three men paused when they realized the cell beside Bucky’s wasn’t empty. You were laying in what appeared to be a flimsy hospital gown, also strapped to your bed with a few more machines attached to you. 

“We can’t leave her” Bucky quietly stepped into your cell, his heart breaking over your fragile state. There was no way you had come to Hydra willingly and there was no way he was going to leave anyone behind if he had the chance to set them free. 

Steve nodded while Bucky grabbed a blanket to cover you up, carrying you carefully in his arms. You hardly stirred as he carried you out and down the hall, meeting the rest of the team outside beside the jet, quickly getting inside before the base blew up. 

“Are they dangerous?” Tony nodded in your direction while Bucky continued to cling onto you, a part of him always protective of anyone that had gone through Hydras torture. 

“Don’t know” Bucky murmured, he truthfully had zero recollection of what had happened to him in the past month. He had been under constant sedatives and fed through tubes. Whenever he slipped into consciousness, his body would ache but he would have no idea why. He certainly had no idea who you were or why you had been captured. “Don’t even remember anything much myself” 

“Guess we’ll find out” Nat shrugged, giving Bucky another blanket to cover you with when you shivered in his arms. As soon as the jet landed, the medical team was ready to whisk you away though Bucky was reluctant to let you go. He was about to argue when his own body started to give way to exhaustion; Steve and Sam caught him before his knees hit the floor. 

“C’mon, we gotta get you looked over” Steve pushed Bucky onto one of the stretchers, letting another team sweep him away to the med bay while Sam took samples of whatever Bucky had pumped with to Tony’s lab. 

-

You blinked in confusion at the new room you were in, the bed you were resting on far more comfortable than what you had been given in your cell. You were too scared to move, hearing the faint sound of beeping from the machines that were attached to you. The beeping grew faster as your heartrate picked up, struggling to calm yourself, fearing you’d be punished for panicking. 

 “Good morning” A soft voice spoke to you, your eyes hesitantly looking over to the man that entered the room with a warm smile on his face. He jotted some notes down, looking over your file once more.  “I’m Dr. Banner, you can call me Bruce. I’m going to ask you a few questions, but don’t worry if you can’t remember right away. Are you able to recall anything from when they captured you?”  

You shook your head while Bruce continued to carefully check over you, his touch caring and gentle, unlike what you had been previously subjected to.

“I-I don’t know what happened after they took me” You whispered, desperately wracking your brain, trying to piece together the foggy memories you had. “I’m sorry, I wish I could-

“It’s alright” Bruce pulled you own of the spiral you were about to head down, “Just relax, we’ll work through it. For now, let’s focus on making sure you’re okay. Get some rest and we’ll take this slow” 

“I don’t want to over step, I can take care of myself, you don’t have to do all this-”

Bucky’s heart broke from where he stood outside of your room with Steve and Tony, none of them not wanting to overwhelm you with their presence when you’d just woken up. As soon as he was checked over, Bucky was out of his hospital bed and stationed outside your room, fidgeting with his fingers, occasionally peering inside. No one else would understand the fear you’d have like he did. He could barely remember what happened to him, he couldn't imagine the confusion you probably felt. 

“I feel fine, I promise-

“You’re more than welcome to stay here until you’re better. You’re not 100% healed yet, its better for you to be here where we would actually be able to take care of you in case something comes up” Bruce insisted, helping you lay back down. You couldn’t get up even if you tried, too exhausted and sore to move, whispering a quiet thank you before quickly falling asleep again. 

Bruce quietly added an extra sedative to keep you under, figuring you needed the rest and something to clam your anxiety while they gathered more information over who you were and what you’d been subjected to. He quietly closed the door behind him before making his way over to there the three men were waiting outside of your room. 

“She doesn’t remember anything, which is normal, considering they probably kept her under the entire time they had her” Bruce flipped through your file as they made their way to the conference room; Bucky was reluctant to leave you alone again but he knew nothing much would happen while you were still asleep. 

-

“From what we’ve gathered, Tin man over here was pumped up with enough sedatives and tranquillizers you’d usually use on something the size of a horse” Tony pulled up the lab results of Bucky’s blood work which revealed a large concoction of various drugs he’d been injected with. “So far, nothing as life altering as the serum but it looks like they were trying to experiment on him” Steve’s jaw clenched thinking about Bucky being subjected to more torture though Bucky himself was almost unfazed, not remembering much this time round. 

“This is Y/n, Y/l/n” Tony pulled up a profile on you from what they had gathered, projecting it on the screen, “They captured her for about two months and she was also most likely under for most of the time. Major portions of their lab were already set to self-destruct so we couldn’t gather much on what they were trying to do. She’s just a civilian; wasn’t given the serum either. There's also no record of family as of now” 

“Where do we go from here” Steve spoke up, feeling the tension radiating off his bestfriend who was itching to check up on you, metal fingers whirring. Even if everything seemed okay it never was.

Hydra always had a plan.

Always. 

“The best we can do is let her recover here and keep track of her progress. There’s enough room anyway so it shouldn’t be a problem” 

-

After being monitored for a few days, you were given the all clear to be discharged from the medical wing. Tony gave you your own room, granting access to anything in the compound without you asking. Though you were hesitant at first, Bruce encouraged you to treat the space like it was your home, cooking, reading or exercising, doing things that would help jog your memory and get you back into a normal routine. You trained frequently with Steve and Nat, rebuilding the strength you’d lost from spending so much time confined to a bed. Your time in the kitchen was always spent with Sam between endless recipes passed down from his family and new things he’d picked up along the way. 

Then there was Bucky.

Bucky was quiet but the most protective of all. He was your safe space, the one person who understood the confusion, the violation, the trauma of what you went through. 

He understood waking up in cold sweat, not knowing where you were.

He understood the long hot showers, scrubbing away remnants of their touch. 

He understood the gnawing fear that if they got you once, they’d get you again. 

It didn’t take long for you to grow closer to everyone. In a short amount of time, you were making significant progress, each person playing a role in nursing you back to health. Your check-ups always came back showing no signs of lasting damage or changes in your body; you were almost completely healed. 

Everything was fine until it wasn’t.

You blinked, trying to shake away the spots that started to cloud your vision, figuring the training session was just a little more rigorous than usual but it was a routine you had done many times before without an issue. Steve waited for you to get back into your stance but your knees felt weak, the room suddenly feeling 100 degrees hotter. 

“Y/n?” 

“You okay?”

“Y/n!” 

Steve saw your eyes roll back, darting out and catching you before you hit the floor, immediately sweeping you up and rushing you to the medical wing. Bucky was there in an instant as soon as Steve told him, both of them waiting nearby while you were rushed away to be checked over, still unresponsive. Bucky paced around the hall while you were hooked up to a few machines, samples of your blood drawn. 

“What happened” You woke up in a daze, rubbing your eyes to get a better look at where you were as you laid on a hospital bed, still in your sweats. A woman who was scribbling notes off to the side of your bed gave you a soft smile, setting the pad down before speaking to you. 

“You were training in the gym with Steve. Do you remember fainting?” 

You shook your head, only remembering your workout last but it hadn’t occurred to you that you fainted. 

“Is something wrong?” The beeps of your heart monitor started to quicken as your anxiety shot up, wondering if whatever Hydra had done to you was finally taking its full effect - 

“Y/n, you’re pregnant” Dr. Cho rested her hand on top of yours, giving you a gentle squeeze seeing your disbelief, your pulse beating even faster. 

Pregnant.

No.

No.

“W-what?” You felt numb, you couldn’t remember anything from the time you were captured in hydra. How could you be pregnant, you couldn’t even remember the last time you had been so close to anyone, let alone intimate with them. “I can’t be-” Your voice cracked, biting your lip to keep it from trembling, shaking your head. “N-no”

Pregnant. 

No.

As soon as the team heard you were awake, they were by the door waiting to see you. Dr. Cho sat with you to process but it was pointless, the shock wasn’t going anywhere. She nodded to the team as she exited your room, allowing them to see you, letting you make the choice if you wanted to tell them or not. Steve was the first to walk in with Bucky trailing closely behind, everyone else hanging back, not wanting to overwhelm you. 

“What’s wrong” Steve whispered, growing more worried when he saw your eyes start to redden, tears welling along your lashes. You wordlessly shook your head, your hands resting on your tummy, unable to get the words out. It took both men a second to piece together what had you so distraught, their mouths growing dry when they saw the image of an ultrasound still up on one of the machines, your hands trembling on top of your lower stomach. 

“It’s okay sweetheart” Steve held you while Bucky's heart broke seeing your frame shake while you tried to hold in your sobs, tears streaming down your face, curling into a ball. You wanted to hide away from everyone, feeling sick and violated, having no idea how any of this happened. 

“We’re here for you, it’ll be okay” Bucky sat on the other side of the bed, taking your hand in his, rubbing his cool metal fingers over your clenched knuckles. “Whatever you choose, we support you” 

“I don’t - ” You choked out; still reeling over the words Dr. Cho had told you, certain abnormalities in the tests showing there wasn’t any other option for you.

 You had to have the baby. 

“I don’t understand” You whispered, curling into Bucky’s side while Steve left to let everyone else know what was going on. He wrapped his arm around you, holding you close, his thumb gently wiping away the tears that spilled down your cheeks. “How-who-I haven’t even-”

When could this have happened?

Was this why you were taken?

Who was the father?

The last question burned the most, having no idea whose child you were carrying, your heart breaking over your baby never getting certain answers. How would you even answer if they ever asked?

“Shhhh” Bucky held you tighter, rocking you gently while you hid into his chest, wishing you could stay there forever, the one place you felt warm and safe. Tony entered the room a little while later, not bringing up anything directly but still letting you know you had his full support. 

“There’s lots of room” Tony gave you a kiss on the top of your head before letting you go back to sleep. Bucky tucked you in before taking a seat in one of the chairs that was nearby, staying by your side that night until you were able to go back to your room again. 

It wasn’t easy. 

You weren’t sure if this was how normal pregnancies were but you were exhausted. Sick. Weak. The cramps you felt would make you double over in pain and you could hardly hold down a meal without throwing it back up the next hour. Just as before, everyone did their best to try and make everything a little easier but no one compared to Bucky. 

Ever since he knew you were pregnant, he was out to do his best to make sure you were well taken care of. He didn’t know much about pregnancies or baby things in this decade but he’d do his research so you wouldn’t have to worry as much. Over the past few weeks, he was always ready with heating pads for cramps after he saw Wanda and Nat get them for you. He gave you some of his Henley’s after you commented over how you loved how soft the material was. 

Bucky wasn’t just protective over you because of Hydra anymore. He adored how sweet you were. Your smile made him blush. You had gone through so much but you were always so patient and kind, even when you struggled to recall things or lacked rest from nightmares. You were the type of girl he would have taken dancing back in the day, if you ever gave him a chance. 

The type of girl he would have chased after for a second date.

Then a third.

The girl he’d introduce to his ma. 

If only things were different. 

“How you holding up doll” Bucky came by your room with a cup of warm lemon water, the one thing that seemed to soothe the nausea. the smile on his face dropped when he saw your puffy eyes and teary face, softly sniffling, doing a poor job of hiding the fact that you had just been crying. 

“What’s wrong” Bucky whispered, instantly by your side, setting the tea on the side table “Are you okay? Are you in pain doll, I can take you to the med bay-”

“I can’t do this” You whimpered, burying your face in your hands, trying to muffle your cries, “I don’t even know what I’m doing”

Bucky wrapped you up in his arms, rubbing his hand up and down your arms soothingly, “I can’t imagine what it’s like for you doll, do you need any of us to do anything for you? Just say the word, we’re all ready-” 

“It’s not that. Everyone is wonderful but-I don’t want to burden them Bucky. It’s so much to deal with, I’m so scared of so many things, its too much” You trembled in his hold, a thousand fears coursing through you all at once. 

“What scares you the most, doll” He whispered, holding you a little tighter to ground you, hoping he’d have the solution to at least one of your fears, if not all. 

“I-I can’t do this alone” You broke down, terrified over the thought of going through the pregnancy by yourself. Yes you had the team by your side but not having a partner made your heart hurt. This wasn’t how you imagined having your first child. Having no idea who the father was or how any of this happened. Your body always felt like it was on the brink of collapsing and you felt awful that others had to dote on you even if they were more than happy to do so. 

“You don’t have to do this alone” Bucky cupped your cheek to meet his eyes, not letting you look away when you tried to shake your head. 

“James-” You were about to protest, but Bucky wasn’t going to let you doubt his words for a second, his arms pulling you into his lap and holding you securely. 

“M’here” He stated softly but firmly, his hand still stroking your face, gently against your cheek. 

“But-it’s too much, you don’t have to Bucky, I-”

“I’m here” His hand came down to your growing belly, soothing the flutters that pushed against your skin. “For as long as you need me to be, okay? You’re not alone. I got you” He pressed a firm reassuring kiss to your forehead while you melted into him, craving to be held and comforted, the scent of him soothing all your fears away for a little while. 

Bucky saw sides of your pregnancy others never would. He held you during the nights where you couldn’t sleep. He rubbed soothing circles on your back when you felt sick, always getting you a fresh set of clothes afterwards. He cradled your belly when the baby kicked and moved around, his warm and cold hands soothing your aching muscles. 

He was even there during intimate moments, where no words were spoken but he knew what you needed. He’d slip your bathrobe off half way to help rub lotion onto your back which was hard for you to reach, the bigger your tummy grew. You weren’t the most steady on your feet, so you’d keep his henley on when he stepped into the shower to help wash your hair and lather your thighs, never taking advantage of you or touching you inappropriately. He never made you feel self-conscious, even when bloated and huge, stretch marks decorating your skin, breasts growing heavier. 

As you approached your due date, you found yourself changing bras and tshirts more frequently from how much you were leaking; your body already producing more milk than necessary. Bucky was there for you even then, never letting you feel embarrassed about the changes you body was going through. 

Like that morning. You waddled to the kitchen to get some breakfast, too tried to change from the pj’s you had worn, rubbing sleep from your eyes as you searched for a mug. 

“You alright sweets? Can I make you something” You didn’t even realize Bucky was already in the kitchen, instantly by your side, his eyes landing on your shirt first. “I’ll make you some tea and then we can get you changed” Your mind was still hazy, confused over why you had to change until- 

“Oh my god” You wrapped your arm around your chest, your face feeling hot, wondering how you didn’t realize there were two very prominent dark patches on your shirt, hormones kicking into full gear, your eyes already watering. 

“It’s okay, it’s normal, c’mon lets get you changed” Bucky kissed your forehead, slipping off his own shirt and pulling it over your arms before resting his hand at the small of your back to support you and take you to your room. He helped you change out of the dampened tshirt and into something thicker, grabbing some nursing pads to slip into your bra while you sat on the bed. He stayed outside of the room while you got changed and took you back down to make sure you were well fed. 

You tried to remind yourself he was there to help you get through the next few weeks, nothing more, but each day, you fell more and more in love with him, your heart fluttering and breaking at the same time. 

He was there for you because you needed someone. 

Not because he wanted you or to be stuck with a baby that had nothing to do with him. 

Bucky was struggling more than you, wishing he could tell you he wanted to be there for you even after the baby was born. He wanted to hold you through the night just to snuggle up with you, watch movies till the sun came up, dance with you in the kitchen, have his own little family he always dreamed of. It didn’t matter that the baby wasn’t his, he adored you and he was ready to love the baby you were bringing into the world- 

But that wasn’t what you wanted from him. 

You were going through something he couldn't even being to comprehend. He had to support you through this like he promised.

Even if he loved you more than you knew.  

-

It had already been 2 hours. You couldn’t go back to sleep. You hissed, feeling another wave of pain pass through your  body, each one worse than the last. You’d managed to not make a sound until the latest one made you whimper, tears starting to stream down your face. You sniffled, feeling Bucky's metal arm wrap around your belly, rubbing your baby bump up and down while holding you close to him. 

“Shhh, I got you” Bucky’s voice was still deep with sleep, his brows furrowing when your body tensed, gripping at his hand when another contraction started. He held you until it passed before sitting up and moving to the side of the bed, kneeling so he was at eye level. “Sweets, I think we should head down to the medbay, I’m just going to get your bag, okay?”

He kissed your forehead, running to the closet to grab the duffle he packed, slinging it over his shoulder before helping you to your feet. He was not about to let you walk, carefully carrying you in his arms all the way down to Dr. Cho’s wing, making sure you were regulating your breathing as he walked over. 

Once you were all settled in, the team made it down to the waiting area where Bucky was already anxiously waiting in your room by your side, carefully watching over your sleeping form, drowsy from medication you had been given. There was still a bit of time left before you had to push but he wasn’t going anywhere; he sat up when you stirred, placing his hand on top of yours. 

“Hey doll” Bucky smiled softly as your eyes fluttered open, meeting his blue ones. “How you feeling” You could still feel a dull ache throbbing through your whole body, struggling to breath through the pain while a nurse checked on your blood pressure which was lower than normal. 

“Not scared when you’re with me” You tried to sound brave, your voice coming out a whimper as another contraction radiated through you, unable to stop the pained cries. 

“I’m here” Bucky reassured you, kissing the back of your hand while you squeezing, tears already streaming down your face. Dr. Cho checked on you once more while the beeping of your heart rate increased, fire like pain starting to consume you. 

“She’s ready, going to start pushing soon, alright?” Everyone around you moved rapidly but it was all a dull buzz as you drowned in pain, struggling to focus. 

“I can’t do it” You cried, feeling too tired, too weak, sweat covering your body. 

“Hey, look at me, focus on me alright?” Bucky held your hand tighter, his metal one coming to rest on your forehead to cool you down. “Breathe doll, baby’s almost here, you’re doing so good mama, breathe with me” You tried to copy his breathing while the nurse signaled that it was time, the pain getting worse. 

“You’re going to start pushing now, okay? You can do it” His voice grounding, not an inkling of fear showing through, keeping your eyes locked with his. You screamed in pain, using all your energy to push, only to feel resistance as if your body was giving up. 

“Bucky I can’t-”

“C’mon babydoll, push, almost there, m’right here with you” 

You cried out in pain again, squeezing his hand while he continued to hold you as best as he could, reassuring you and kissing your damp forehead.

“JAMES!” Your pained screams had the others worried; Steve paced up and down the hall while Tony stood outside the door. The only solace they had was that you were already in the best hands and Bucky was by your side. 

“One more, look at me, just one more mama” Bucky’s voice cut through your muddled conscious, taking a deep breath before pushing again. 

“Doing good y/n, one big push, that’s the head” Dr. Cho encouraged while you screamed out, mustering all of your strength to push, a piercing cry filling the room moments later. 

“You did it sweetheart” Bucky let his metal hand come down to your beating heart as you slumped back down, panting while the baby was quickly whisked away to be checked on. He sat on the bed, kissing the top of your head, smiling when you refused to let go of his hand, his arm wrapping around your exhausted form. 

“You did so good, so so good doll, so proud of you mama” He whispered, continuing to hold at kiss you while you tried to ground yourself again. You sat up as the doctor walked in, relieved there was nothing you had to worry about as she brought the little one over to you.

“That’s your baby” She smiled, carefully placing the tiny swaddled bundle in your arms, a perfect baby boy resting in your arms. “All 10 fingers, all 10 toes, healthy as ever” 

You kissed his chubby face, cooing as he stirred, his tiny hand wrapping around your finger. Bucky petted your hair while you snuggled with the baby, his heart yearning to tell you how he felt. You rested against his side, both quietly admiring the little one that had now fallen asleep on your chest. There wasn’t a single dry eye in the room when everyone came to visit, everyone cooing and holding the baby, teasing about being God parents before leaving and letting you rest. 

Bucky tucked you under the sheets when you yawned, insisting you sleep for a bit after the baby was put in the basinet beside you bed. He didn’t move from you side, his eyes often flicking up to the heart monitor that was attached to you, a few other machines attached to the little one just as a safety precaution to make sure everything was normal. 

You stirred awake to the feeling of cool metal gently stroking your face, blinking up at protective Bucky, his eyes sullen from a lack of sleep, smiling down at you like you’d hung the moon and stars. 

“Hey sweet girl” 

“Hey” You leaned into his touch, softly kissing his palm while he cupped your face, brushing away a stray tear that slipped down your cheek. “Th-thank you” You whispered, swallowing the lump that tightened your throat, blinking away more tears when the baby stirred with a soft cry. You reached over and rocked him gently, looking over the delicate slope of his little nose and tiny pouty lips, your healthy baby in your arms because of him. “I couldn't have done all this without you. You were with me through everything” By my side through it all. I don’t want you to go. 

Bucky swallowed thickly, his heart beating faster, he didn’t want to stop being there for you. He adored you with his whole heart, his breath hitching in his throat before speaking. 

“Just so you know doll, I-I always wanna be here for you. For both of you” Bucky whispered, his eyes welling with tears at the little bundle cradled in your arms. He didn’t know the first thing about being a dad but he’d do his damn best to help you raise your son. 

“Bucky?” Your eyes were wide, tears now freely flowing down your face, curling yourself up closer to him, wondering if you understood correctly. “Bucky, I don’t even know who the father is-”

“M’not worried about that. I care about you. I love you. If you let me” He cupped your cheek, brushing your face with his thumb, “I promise I’ll take care of you both. I’ll-I’ll do my best, I promise I’ll try, I’ll protect you-”

You cut him off, bringing him down for a sweet kiss, pressing your lips to his, your fingers toying with the soft short curls at the nape of his neck. Bucky smiled against your lips, letting his tongue lace with yours only for a moment, not wanting to tire you, pulling away when you started to pant. 

“I love you” You were breathless, the beeping of your heart monitor nearly alerting the nurses, “I love you so much” 

“I love you, sweetheart” Bucky stated sincerely, knowing you’d found your way to his heart a long time ago. 

“Kiss me again” You tugged at his dog tags while he let out a soft chuckle, peppering your face with kisses before claiming your lips again. 

“Get some rest mama” He carefully took the baby from you, settling him in the crook of his arm, while you closed your eyes knowing your little one was in the safest place he could possibly be. Your baby responded to Bucky’s voice the same way he did when he was in your belly, cooing and yawning, drifting off to a peaceful sleep, nuzzling into his chest. 

“I’ll be there for you” Bucky whispered to the sweet bundle, softly rocking him so he wouldn’t stir. “Won’t ever leave you or your mama”

-

Tony gave you a new floor for yourself along with a mass of baby presents, everyone sharing quite smiles and glances when they helped Bucky move his things to the floor as well. 

They’d all seen it coming. 

You huffed at the full fridge, having no more room left to pump milk, your body producing bottles and bottles, your hungry baby drinking each one nearly every hour. You couldn’t understand how something so small could eat so much but he’d happily nurse and drink as much as you gave him. He was only 2 months old but already starting to babble and trying to crawl. You remembered the shocked faces of the nurses when they found your son rolling around in his bassinet, holding his head up without a struggle, eyes wide open. Steve was surprised when he had to use a bit of force to pull his finger away from his tiny grip. His features had also changed slightly; the light hair darkened into a chocolate brunettes. His initial darker brownish-grey eyes were now blue. 

“I might be over thinking it but-he’s so strong” You chewed your lip, cradling your son while he nursed from you, his chubby thighs squirming while he gripped your breast, suckling. You were seated in Bucky’s lap with your back resting against his chest, his head on your shoulder, arms supporting yours “What if- there’s something making him develop so fast- 

You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what scared you the most but you didn’t need to say more. Bucky understood the anxieties you felt, the fears that came from being taken by Hydra and used as a puppet. 

Hydra was capable of anything. 

“Whatever it is, it’ll be okay, m’here alright?” He held you protectively, putting the little one to sleep after burping him and pulling you into his arms, “We’ll go to the lab in the morning, it’s gonna be okay” 

-

Tony reassured you whatever they did wouldn’t hurt your little one. You were both given a mild sedative while Bruce took blood and DNA samples, running it through the systems while Bucky waited patiently though Sam and Steve could see he was nervous on the inside, constantly glancing over to you and peering over the baby bassinet. Two hours later, Bruce and Tony walked back in, glancing over at each other while Bucky shot out of his seat, nearly losing his balance if it wasn’t for Steve who was by his side to steady him. 

“Is she okay? The baby?” His eyes were pleading with them, unable to read their expressions, something was off. 

“We ran some tests” Bruce started off slowly, looking down at the file, “The baby is enhanced”

“What does that mean” Bucky’s heart started to race while Tony continued. 

“Well...that could mean hydra experimented on her” but...”

“But?”

“But nothing came up for her. No experiments. It’s definitely her baby, Hydra didn’t implant someone elses embryo in her. So if the baby is enhanced, its from the father...he’s enhanced with the super soldier serum”

“I was the only super solider on that base” Bucky whispered, his eyes growing wide, looking at your sleeping form. 

“Does that mean...?” Steve’s eyes were wide, looking between the baby and Bucky, smiling at the similarities that made sense now, your son, a spitting image of his father. 

“The baby...the baby’s mine” Bucky was nearly breathless while Sam grasped his shoulder, helping to ground him. 

“How do you know for sure” 

“They only had one vial of the serum they used on me years ago. Never replicated it...that’s-that’s why they took me again” 

“Blood test confirms it. It’s the same serum. DNA matched with what we have on file for Barnes.” Banner nodded, scrolling through the test results, “That’s Bucky’s baby” 

Bucky felt 1000 emotions all at once, but nothing was stronger than the pure love he felt in that moment. He already loved your baby like his own but there was something comforting in knowing his son was safe, that there wouldn’t be any unexplained secrets he wouldn’t know the answer to. He cradled his son to his chest, kissing every inch of his face, while sitting by your bed, while you started to wake up. 

“Doll?” He whispered, brushing your hair out of your face, his heart beating anxiously in his chest again, both excited and nervous to tell you. Of course you loved him but what if you didn’t like it, what if you were disappointed, what if

“What is it” You sat up, noting his worried face while Bucky glanced down at his son sleeping in his arms, sucking in a breath before speaking. 

“M’the father” His voice was barely a whisper, tears streaming down his cheeks as soon as the words left his mouth. He was the father. That was his baby. 

“What?”

“He’s mine” Bucky sniffled, giving you a sad broken smile, “M’sorry baby, they used you because of me-

“You’re sure?” You didn’t let him finish, only hearing the words he’s mine, repeat over and over again, not a single other thing mattered to you. “Please Bucky, this is our baby? He’s yours?”

“This is our baby” He nodded, his forehead pressed with yours before kissing you over and over again, cuddling his son closer to his chest. 

“Our baby” You cried with him, reaching for the now missing box of tissues, looking up to see Sam hiding it behind his back while Steve quietly passed a tissue to Tony. 

“Congratulations, babydaddy” Tony snorted into a tissue before leaving the lab with the rest of the group to give you some privacy. Bucky took his daddy duties very seriously, his heart always bursting when he held his chubby baby. It didn’t take long for the little one to turn into a tiny menace between his uncles, jumping and running before the age of one with custom high tech toys all around. 

Bucky loved you even more with his entire being, watching you become the sweetest mama, nearly crying each time he saw you both cuddled up asleep or reading together in bed. He took care of you in every way possible, just as before, loving and worshipping every inch of you. 

The only thing that had changed between you and Bucky was the growing need to be closer than ever. In the one way you hadn’t yet. Bucky didn’t pressure you once, waiting till you were ready for intimacy. He nursed your body back to health after you gave birth and continued to dote on you long after, with plenty of cuddles and kisses in between. 

It didn’t stop him from letting his imagination run wild. 

He wanted to touch you, take you apart and put you back together. 

Make you feel good, moan for you, let you touch him in places only you could. 

See you pregnant again- 

Fuck.

He had no idea your imagination was 100 times wilder. 

Dreaming of having his little babies.

How his naked body would feel.

How perfect he’d fit inside you.

Giving him all the kids he wanted. 

“Did you ever think about having kids” You asked him curiously, slinking into his lap after a shower and curling up against his chest, toying with his dog tags.

“I have” He smiled, setting down the book he was reading, wrapping his arms around you instead “a lot actually”

“Did you think of having more than one?” You whispered, trying to press yourself impossibly closer to him, your cheeks growing warmer with what you were hinting at. “Maybe two?”

Bucky licked his lips at your words, letting his hand slip up your sheep shirt to brush over your tummy, humming when he felt your bare body underneath. 

“You want another baby, doll?” He purred while you buried your face into his chest, nodding. Bucky pulled away just enough to slip off your shirt, moving you to lay down, quickly discarding his own clothes immediately after. 

“Wanna do it the right way” He pressed gentle kisses down your neck to your shoulder, “Make love to you when we make our baby” 

“Bucky, please” You pleaded with him, feeling empty, needing him so much closer. You didn’t care about foreplay or a slow build, you just wanted him inside, claiming you. “Wan’ another baby with you” 

“M’gonna give you a baby sweetheart, don’t worry” He cooed, rubbing his cock through your soaked folds, before pressing it against your entrance. “Let’s make a baby, angel” 

His thrusts were soft, slow and gentle, taking his time to savor the feeling of your under him, his lips trailing from your jaw to your neck, down to your swollen nipples. He sealed his lips around your peaked bud, sucking and toying with how sensitive they were. 

“M’so lucky baby” He whispered before kissing your nipples again, “You feed our son so well, you’re such a good mama, y’know that?” You whimpered underneath him, your legs moving to wrap around his waist, tears prickling your eyes. “Best and prettiest mama to our baby boy” He kissed the tears that streamed down your cheeks, washing away any inklings of doubt that occasionally tried to rear its ugly head. 

“You think I’m a good mom?” 

“The best babygirl, wouldn’t have it any other way. Can’t believe I missed out on this once before, you feel so good” He tucked his face against your neck as he started to speed up, letting his body weight fall on you. 

“Fuck-fuck Bucky!” You clawed at his back as he started roll his hips, kissing your cervix with his swollen tip, leaking and dripping in your needy cunt. “I-I love y-you”

“Shhhh, I know” He panted, groaning at the feeling of your pussy pulsing around his cock, your body clinging to him. “I love you, I love our little baby boy, m’gonna love the little one we’re making right now” 

“Give it to me Jamie” You clenched around him making him whimper, fucking you harder, the base of his cock bouncing off your clit each time he thrusted in you. “I’m-gonna-gonna cum Bucky!, gimmie a baby” 

“T-together doll, gonna cum with you, fuck, -oh fuck- Take it mama” Bucky moaned as he stilled, warm spurts of cum bursting from his cock, moaning louder when he felt you throb and milk his cock dry, your own orgasm crashing over you at the same time. 

“M’in love with you sweets” Bucky stayed inside you, whispering sweet nothings while you stayed snuggled against his chest, loving the feeling of being full of him. “You gave me the best thing without knowing it”

“You’re the best thing that happened to me” You smiled, closing your eyes, quickly falling asleep in his arms, his lips pressed against your hairline. He didn’t move an inch, cradling you close; you’d given him everything he’d always dreamed of. 

A family

Love.

Affection.

Even through the mess of Hydra, you brought light into his life. 

You were destined to be his. 

-

I may add a drabble about the second baby, lets see! Lmk what you think! 

Tags: @glxwingrxse @hungryyeyess @sebsgirl71479 @beabutterfly987 @teambarnes72 @witchywhore @jamesbuckybarneswify @slutforsexyseabass @chrisdrysdale @littlemarvelmenfan @buggy14 @whimsyplaty92 @sergntbarnes @inkedaztec @pono-pura-vida @moonlightreader649 @brooklynscherry-z @elle14-blog1 @justsebstan @littlelightnings @happyt0exist @emmabarnes @bethyruth @matchat3a @cjand10 @getwellsoontana @cherryschaos @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @ashenc-blog @buckybarnessimpp @potatothots @goldylions @high-functioning-lokipath @morganemorganite-blog @kingfleury @peaches1958 @spiderman-stilinski @peaceinourtime82 @gublur @wintersmelodie @geeky-politics-46 @lolawassad @almosttoopizza @a-poor-gryffindork @alternativeprincess @buckycallsmeaslut @kamaria-sweet-writes @charmedbysarge @xnorthstar3x @kryoee7 @alina02 @gh0stgurl @polishprincess999 @jessybarnes @alltheficsiwant @chemtrails-club @eralen @perdidosbucky-yyo @clqrosmgc   @buckybarnessweetheart   @pandaxnienke   @manyfandomsfanvergent    @midnightramyeoncravings

[ladyeliot]

All of me. Chapter One [B.B.]

When she met him masterlist

Prologue

Pairing: Winter soldier x Female Reader [Michelle]

Summary: In May 1954 two parallel worlds were to meet in Berlin. On the one hand yours, completely chaotic, on the other that of the Winter Soldier.

Warnings: Angst. Toxic relationship. Mind control. Winter Soldier.

Word count: 3075

A/N:  Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

West Berlin. May 1954

The mirror showed a reflection you hadn’t stopped to contemplate in a long time. Rosy cheeks offered life and warmth to a pale face that seemed to have been forgotten. Your skin was smooth and the colour of porcelain, showing the youth that had just begun. Your eyes were highlighted by a greyish iris, which seemed to be complemented by blue drops, but as pale as your complexion. Your golden hair was tied back behind your face, but even so, a few strands stood up in rebellion, sliding down your forehead.

You moved closer to that imposing mirror, which was perched on the chest of drawers in that hotel room. It was then that you could see on your lips that the reddish lipstick had been fixed to perfection, offering a speck of colour to that ensemble that you formed in your totality. Your attention was diverted to the melody coming from the phonograph’s horn, however you could notice the presence of a person behind you reflected in the mirror itself. Those vermilion lips showed a smile, as the warmth of the male body pressed against your back. 

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life,” the whisper overpowered the music. “Tonight every man in the universe will know how lucky I am.”

A blush came over you, causing you to look away from his face through the mirror and lower your gaze, still smiling. It had been a few months since you had left behind everything you had known in your nineteen years, venturing out to suffer the indifference and rejection that the unknown future could bring. Your life in New York was a past that counterbalanced the pain and happiness of your younger years, but it did not offer you all that your inner self demanded, until he came along. Richard was a young British man of beauty, wit and chance, who had made a fortune in the tobacco world after the end of the Second World War. So you could say that it didn’t take long for you to notice him and for him to want you among his various properties. It was an accumulation of promises that entered your mind and led you to follow him to Europe without questioning their veracity, accepting the consequences that this meant for a young woman of your position in a world run by and for men. 

It had been many years since you 

had had a male figure to support or guide your decisions, as well as your purpose in life. The loss of your father during the Second World War made you acquire a mind of your own and make decisions of your own, which mostly used to be accepted by your sweet mother, but which in this case did not find a place in the audacity of your friends and family. Those who knew you thought that your judgement had been clouded or that you had only lost your mind because of your love for that gentleman.

Richard had made his appearance in New York City just a few months earlier. Your fates crossed in the New York night, during the presentation of a new Walker Motors Corporation internal combustion engine at the Edison Hotel, a milestone in the market. Richard was an external guest, invited by one of the company’s own partners, but you were invited by the leading eminence. It is worth noting that Charles Walker, director of WMC, has been friends with you since your childhood, which is why you attended the private party. However, it was not until midnight that Charles himself took it upon himself to introduce you, alluding that Richard had shown an exclusive interest in meeting you.

“Where is your mind?” Richard’s lips brushed your right earlobe.

His fingers rested on your neck and brushed aside a slight lock that fell across your collarbone to rest his lips on it. All the while you watched each of his movements in the mirror.

“I don’t want your mind to go elsewhere if I’m not in your thoughts,” that whisper sent a shudder around your body, as Richard’s lips continued to trail firmly down your neck.

You had been extremely decisive in agreeing to give yourself to a man you barely knew, or had any testimony about his past. But your mind was so dazzled by the hopes you had placed on him and his oaths that you had barely been able to consider the fact that something could go wrong.

The kissing stopped, which caused you to open your eyes again to find your own reflection. Richard turned away from your body for a moment to look inside his jacket. After a few seconds he pulled out a greenish rectangular box, which he opened without letting you see what was inside.

“Close your eyes,” the young man asked softly in your ear.

With little opposition you acted as he had instructed. A tingle tingled around your neck, which brought a subtle smile to your lips as you waited for Richard’s command to open your eyes again. However, it wasn’t until after he placed a brief kiss on your bare shoulder that you decided on your own to contemplate the object resting on your collarbones. Your lips parted in surprise, as an array of pearls lay upon you, illuminating practically the entire room. Your fingers slowly brushed each one of them, you hardly knew what to say, the only thing that came to your mind was the questioning of why about that detail.

“Tonight you will shine over the whole world,” Richard’s hands rested on your hips. “There won’t be anyone in Berlin, east or west, who doesn’t know who Michelle Wells is.”

You offered him a blushing smile as you stared at your figures in front of the mirror, those words giving you the encouragement you needed to face the performance that was to take place in a few hours.

Your ability on stage had been recognised in various clubs in New York, but you knew that the audience that night could not compare to the one you had had before. New York had been the pinnacle of jazz, and Harlem had been a favourite neighbourhood of its own creation, yet it was a far cry from anything you were used to.

A slight sigh came out of your mouth, showing the presence of your nervousness in such a situation. It was an unavoidable fact of life that you were thousands of miles away from your hometown, and even if you had made yourself think that you and Richard would find your own home, you couldn’t help but feel incomplete.

“Take everything out of your mind, leave it blank and just focus on you from this moment on,” the breath collided with your ear, creating a brief shiver down your spine. “Forget everything you have lived through, and all the people. You are the creator of your own destiny, and no one can stand in the way of that. Tonight may be the most important moment for your future. For our future.”

In that instant you turned around so that you could look directly into his eyes, those that depending on the light could appear blue or green. Under the dimness of the lamp the greenish hue could be found in them, but you barely noticed it because their proximity was cut short when he said those words, melting into a slow, passionate kiss before he left for the club.

Meanwhile, in East Berlin

A whitish light flickered faintly above him with each step down the long corridor. The silence was broken by the flickering tinkle and the sordid screams in the distance. The place felt like hell itself. However, if it really was hell, it was not as he had imagined it to be. The mist was pouring out of his nostrils with every exhalation, the cold was bordering on extreme. Yet he was unable to feel it in every part of his body. His gaze was impassive, as his ice-cold eyes seemed to be held in a sea of darkness. The road came to an end as the stiff iron gate cut him off. His footsteps slowed but did not stop, as a dull echo reported the opening of the gate, offering entrance to a new area.

The walls, as sturdy as the material of construction, stone, offered not a hint of light, for there were hardly any openings in them. The place had the characteristics of an underground bunker, with only a musty smell coming from the ceiling. His figure continued his march along the corridor, with a firm and decisive step, knowing where he was going. At that instant, a silhouette loomed on the right side, guarding a new entrance. That silhouette, noticing the presence that was heading towards him, moved away from in front of the door, opening the way for the man, who stopped in front of it until it opened.

“Oh, we’ve been expecting you, soldier,” said a German-accented voice from inside the room.

Unlike the corridor, there was a pleasant warmth in that room for anyone. However, he was no longer a person. The door closed behind him, preventing him from leaving, for he would have to face the four figures sitting at an oval table. One of them rose from his seat and slowly approached him with his hands behind his back, until they were facing each other.

“I believe the orders you have been given are clear soldier,” he observed curiously squinting at the young man. “Do you have any doubts?”

“No, sir,” a coldness crept into his voice from inside his throat, it seemed as if he had spent the last few months barely expressing a sound through it.

“That’s the way I like it,” that statement came along with an encouraging look from every part of the young soldier. “Kerkove will be in charge of taking you to the west side of Berlin. There you know what you have to do.”

The soldier merely nodded, processing all the data that had been offered to him hours before. The door opened again to let him out, just as he had entered, and the person in charge of his mission stood there. Over the past months he had carried out a number of other missions on the eastern front, but this was the first time he would be infiltrating the western zone, covered by American and British soldiers, which is why he was wearing an American infantry uniform, similar to that of his companion.

As he arrived outside, he realised that the night was clear, as the moon was in full bloom, a fact that could hinder the key points of the mission. Even so, he had to concentrate, since his first test would be the moment he wanted to cross the border, for although he was in the uniform of the American army, he had to pass himself off as one of them.

Fifteen and a half kilometres was the distance to be covered by car, before walking three kilometres to the point in question. The quietness fell upon him, sharing a constant blank stare, and with nothing else in his thoughts but each and every step to be taken that night. There were hardly any words between the two of them, until the moment they parted, as his companion informed him that they would meet again after four hours at the rendezvous point to carry out their extraction.

The ease with which he found himself in West Berlin in five minutes seemed absurd in the face of so much apparent control over the population itself. The tranquillity received on the other side of the wall caused a rupture in the new area, a commotion was generated as he walked towards the more central streets, entering the Berlin night. The movement of pedestrians and cars caused him to slow his steps, remembering his sense of mission ‘To blend in without being discovered’.

The streetlights illuminated the roads and the power of those lights fell on his face, generating a sense of uneasiness in the face of his own passivity. Groups of uniformed men walked along, mingling with the local population. He was curious as to where they were going, for the premises of the busy main street invited him to enter them. Those five soldiers in British uniforms, which he could distinguish by colours and badges, made their way to the pavement in front of him and then entered a place called 'Central Club’.

After looking around, he could not think of a better situation than to take the same path and thus discover their frequent activities. With the proximity to the place, he noticed the melody that could be heard behind the door, which became more and more noticeable after opening it. An unfamiliar smell hit his face as he stepped inside. Warm brown tones met his gaze as did long descending staircases. Hesitantly he descended each step, incorporating the smell of aniseed liqueur into his senses as the notes coming from those instruments became more constant. A greenish curtain gave way to the hall, which was unexpectedly packed with people. Its tables were completely crowded and the noise mixed with the melody hardly let him think in those moments. He looked around as a boy bumped into him trying to get in. His gaze fell on the bar on the right-hand side, intending to sit down and take in the area at his leisure. Nearby he could find an empty stool catching the attention of the bartender himself.

"What will you have?” he asked as he wiped a glass of champagne between his hands “Is this your first time at the Central Club?”

The soldier nodded, half-opening his lips, for he had scarcely noticed his presence.

“Then you must try our special aniseed and ginger cocktail,” the waiter began to serve him after watching the boy nod. “I suppose you’ve come for her, haven’t you? We haven’t had the club this full since before the war, she’s a real gem, I envy the man who gets her.”

The soldier paid little attention to his words, but nodded at every comment he offered, for he had not yet been able to adjust to the atmosphere generated by the crowd. Music was still playing on the circular wooden stage in the background. A band was providing entertainment, showing off their merits with a piano, drums, bass and saxophone. However, due to the noise it was impossible to hear them.

He took the glass that the man had prepared for him a few minutes ago and brought it to his lips, making his throat burn with every drop that fell through it. His senses were amplified and the warmth was rising from within him. She turned to the man behind the bar to inform him to refill the glass, for if he was to blend in he hoped to do so as everyone else in the place did.

The music stopped and male words came from the stage. The soldier barely noticed. However, the deafening noise of applause and cheers made him look towards the back of the room. A female figure appeared as if out of nowhere before his very eyes. After she came on stage, silence fell, reminding him of peace. The spotlights created an aura of divinity around the young woman that abstracted any of his own thoughts as soon as he beheld her. Her crimson lips could be glimpsed from every corner of the club, making the blood burn under those uniforms.

Time had stood still for a few moments, for the slowness with which such an event unfolded before his eyes was apparent. The girl slowly brought her fingers around the microphone to bring it closer to her mouth, as she set the rhythm by snapping her fingers to the melody of the bass. That was the moment when the soldier became a man, his reasoning engaged in a constant struggle against his experience. That voice had taken over his thoughts and was the only thing he could hear inside him. The melody had awakened a sliver of his memories, but he had not yet realised that fact. The hole of darkness that made him up had found a flame to illuminate it. 

“All of me

Why not take all of me?

Can’t you see?

I’m no good without you”

His muscles had relaxed as the minutes passed. His lips were parted and his eyes were completely lost in hers. For an instant he thought he could feel their paths meet, holding her gaze, a fact that generated a throbbing in his heart that he did not seem to possess. In a subtle blink of an eye, barely noticing it, the girl finished her song and lost his vision as everyone in the room rose to their feet to applaud her, but he did not. He preferred to keep his gaze lost trying to glimpse what had just happened in those moments, as his mission became present in him again.

“It’s a wonder,” the bartender interjected.  "A woman with a voice like that can’t possibly go unnoticed. I think I could listen to her for the rest of my life, and watch her too. You know what I mean.“

The soldier just sipped the last of the liquor in his glass and turned his attention back to the group of men in British uniforms who had led him there. They seemed to be in a hurry to leave again, so he took a note from his pocket and without looking back left it on the bar to follow them. From that moment on, his evening was based on analysing each of the places they frequented and the activities they carried out, making the odd brief conversation, and letting himself be seen in the area. He did not have a chance to think about the heady moment he had experienced until he returned to the bunker and was asked for all the information he had collected. However, although a new memory had settled in his mind, he was unable to express his encounter with you.

Taglist Open (DM)

MAIN MASTERLIST

[deadly-symphony]

Losing my religion

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Y/N) Warnings: Self-Doubts, Alcohol, & just fluff 

Writers note: Hey (: It’s my first Fanfic, so please don’t be so harsh on me. What i also need to mention: English is not my native language. So, excuse any mistakes :3

_____________________       ( <3 )       ___________________________

You wake up with a headache so bad it made you wish you would not even exist at this exact moment. But here you are, in bed ,still dressed in your party-outfit from last night. It takes a moment for you  to realize why you got so ridiculously drunk. Your eyes are filling with tears and anger starts to build up in your stomach. Is it anger ? Or just disappointment ? You swallow all your feelings, shoving yourself out of the bed and heading in the bathroom. Slipping your dress careless from your body where it hits the floor. Turning on the shower you take a quick look into the mirror, seeing  the mess you are. A little sigh escapes your lips and you enter the shower. The hot water feels good and you start to relax a bit. Your mind wanders back to last nights party and in a wave of panic you turn the little radio on which is hanging in the corner of the shower. Some pop music starts playing and you trying to concentrate on it . Trying to ignore the memories from last night. But the next song brings them all back. The slow movements of the luffer against your skin makse you shiver while you humm the lyrics you know all too well

Oh life, is bigger

It's bigger than you

And you are not me

The lengths that I will go to

The distance in your eyes

There are you standing , tears in your eyes, under the shower, lip quivering. Your mind now fully back at the party. Where you stood most of your time in the corner, drink in hand and watching him. After the 2 weeks you spend on a mission with him your feelings just grew bigger and bigger. Your love for him was overhelming and it scared the hell out of you. You watched him. Watched the girl talking to him, laughing. God, how you loved his laugh. How his eyes wrinkeld and his nose scrunched up. How he stroke a lose strain of hair behind his ear again ....as his eyes suddenly landed on you. The girl putting a hand on his upper arm, trying to keep the conversation going. You sipped on your drink, trying to avoid his gaze. You sipped again on your drink, realising the glass is now empty. You walked to the bar, ordering another drink. A stonger one this time. You wouldn't survive this party any other way, with him and this girl enjoing each other a bit too much for your taste.

Every whisper, of every waking hour

I'm choosing my confessions

Trying to keep an eye on you

Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool

That was when a hand landed on your hips. A little squeez made you shiver as you turned around and took a step back. There it was, that perfect smile you adored so much. Bucky Barnes.

"Also running empty, huh?", you gestured to the two empty glasses he held in his human hand. "Yeah, i mean... Doesn't have any effect on me anyway.", he answered. Noticing the slight annoyance in your tone. You shrugged:" As long as it's keeping your new friend entertained. What’s the matter? " You gave him a bitter smile leaving him standing there, waiting for his new drinks.”Doll...?”, he questioned. But you just breathed a “Have fun with you girl”, knowing exactly he had heard you with his super hearing.  He looked after you, wanted to say more... but couldn't when a guy stopped you in your tracks and started talking to you. He swallowed hard at your reaction and your sudden change of behaviour towards him.

  What you didn't know, Bucky was watching you too the whole evening, since you entered the party in your totally forbidden dress, that hugged your curves so perfectly and showed what a dream of a women you were. And of course he noticed the eyes of almost every man in the room landing on you, starring. Especially this one guy who was now talking to you. And you seemed to enjoy his sweet talking. Of course, you deserved attention. Since he first saw you, when Nat brought you into the Team, he was lost in you. He always enjoyed your company. Never got tired of your presence. Only wanting more. Lately the two of you were sent on more and more missions together. Tony thought of you two as a very good team, without any problems, just quick and trouble-free missions with detailed reports. Steve and Nat on the other hand knew exactly what was going on. Steve noticed Buckys smile everytime he saw you. He heard his heartbeat change when you talked to him and how he looked at you with hidden adoration. So did Nat. She noticed how you always fixed your hair, before entering a room you knew bucky was in. How you walked with that extra swing in your hips when he was around. And how you always tried to act "normal" and "decent" when he watched you. Your best friends knew all along that the two of you had it bad for each other. But Bucky and you... You never thought he would like you in this way. So did he, thinking you could never like a broken man like him. When you were just so beautiful and smart.

Consider this, the hint of the century

Consider this the slip

That brought me to my knees, failed

So, sipping on your drink, you talked to that guy. Steeling a glance at Bucky, who was now hugging this girl you hated without even knowing her. They were swinging to the music , drinks in their hands and she was pressing more and more into his body. Oh god, his perfect body. Your mind wandered and wandered , while the guy, who's name was already deleted from your brain. kept talking to you. You nodded and hummed as a response now and then. But you weren't even listening. You just wanted to have fun. Just wanted to enjoy yourself for a while without the perfect Super-Soldier on your mind. You tried desperately to like the stranger in front of you. Maybe he wasn't so boring. But what was his name again? As you nodded again, without even listening to what he was saying and just blankly staring at him you suddenly feel a pair of hands on your hips and a pair of lips is meeting yours. Shit!... He asked if he could kiss you... and you idiot just agreed. Bucky watched all of it. Every laugh escaping your lips, every sweet smile, every sip from your drink, every shy lookt torwards the guy in front of you. If only he had knew all of it was fake and all you had in mind at this exact time was only him. Just Bucky. Just your lovely James Buchanan Barnes. He watched as he kissed you. He shoved the girl in his arms away from him, excusing himself. He coulnd't handle the sight of you. You and another men. He left the party, wanting to retreat to his room as fast as he could. Your eyes instead were squeezed shut. You were shocked. You didn't even wanted this. The alcohol got the best of you and anyway , your mind was just a mess because of all your locked up feelings. As he broke the kiss, smiling at you, you didn't even dare to look in Buckys direction. You just wiggled yourself free from the guys grip and excused yourself. You swallowed the rest of your half-full glass all by one and escaped from the party as fast and unnoticed as possible.

 You stumbled to the elevators, holding yourself steady on the blank wall next to you, hissing, when the elevator door just closed right in front of your nose. Hastily you pushed the button. Trying to keep standing on your own two feet while your legs just felt like jelly.

The Door opened with a Bing and you fell into the elevator with a squeel, just losing your balance while walking in, where to strong arms catched you. Wide eyed you looked up, staring directly in a pair of ocean blue eyes. "You... you okay , Doll?", he asked , voice a bit scratchy. Looking away from him, trying to hold yourself up, you answer after a little pause:" I'm fine. Thanks ...." He let go of you,noticing your cold tone, even though everything he wanted was to hold you even closer. You just stood there, pressing the button to your floor, then staring at your feet. He took a quick look at you. Admiring you. Wishing you were his. He stole another glance. Watching you and how your dress just hugged your body and your boobs and your butt were looking so damn good. You were the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. The Bing of the elevator snapped him out of his dreaming state. You stumbled out of the elevator, almost losing balance again, Bucky reaching for your arm to safe you from another fall to the hard ground.. He held you for a moment before speaking." Let me get you to your room at least, ok? We don't have to talk... don't worry.", hinting at the silence back there in the elevator. You just nodded. Avoiding to look at him. "Ok then. Let's go , Doll.", he said barely audible. His hand still holding you, keeping you from falling, he walked you to your room. You opened the door, walking in. You turned around, when you still felt his hand holding your arm. You looked up at him. "Thank you, Buck.", you said in a shaky tone. His brows furrowed. "Doll?" "Hmm?" It took him a moment, you could see in his face that he wanted to say something. Then he said softly, stroking your arm:" I'm glad your safe back in your room. Good night, Dollface." He let his hand slip down your arm, holding your hand for a Moment, before he left. You closed  the door, leaning against it with your back and standing there for a moment. His soft voice still in your ear. His worried eyes still burning up your skin. Then you pushed yourself away from the door,taking wobbly steps forward before falling into your bed.

That's me in the corner

That's me in the spot-light

Losing my religion

Trying to keep up with you

And I don't know if I can do it

Oh no I've said too much

I haven't said enough

------------------------------------------------------------

A litte sob escapes your lips as you start  rincing your hair out. You trying your best not to cry again but you fail. You lean against the cold shower-tiles and break completely down. Your going to feel better after a good cry, you told yourself. But you're not so sure of it when you're honest to yourself. You rub your face, trying to focus again. You turn the water off and walk out of the shower. Putting a towel on your head and your fluffy bathrob on your body. Deciding to get dressed and then get some breakfast you leave the bathroom when you hear a knock on your door.

I thought that I heard you laughing

I thought that I heard you sing

I think I thought I saw you try

Without a care of what you are just wearing you open the door, seing Bucky in front of you. He looks at you, gaze wandering down your body, his cheeks turn a bit pink & he turns a bit away. "Oh, sorry ... i didn't meant to bother you, Doll." "N.... no. No, you do not bother me at all.", you say, voice all raspy and shore from all the crying and the alcohol. You notice the cup of coffee in his hand and you smile softly:" That for me ?" Even though you're smiling at him, he's noticing your tired look and your blood stained, puffy eyes. "Mhm, for you. Good morning, Doll.", he gives you a shy smile, handing you the hot cup. Shifting from one foot to antoher:" You ... mh... you okay? I mean... last night, you got really drunk &... i was worried to be honest when you fell into the elevator." Taking a sip of the fresh brewed coffee, your eyes meet his. And there is it again... The worry in this eyes. His furrowed brows and he's standing there like a lost puppy. "Uhm... i'm good. Thank you, Buck. I mean... for the coffee... and... yeah, taking care of the waste that i was last night. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to bother anyone. It was just.... it was not my day, you know?", you say, eyes watering again, but you try to hide it. But he notices. He always does. He even notices the slight change in your voice. From raspy to broken and hurt. "Hey ....", he takes your hand, looking at you with a soft smile. "You know, you can always talk to me, mh?" "Mhm...." , you humm in response. He squeezes your hand. 

" Not so convincing ...", he grumbles. Your eyes meet the floor again as a silent tear rolls down your cheek. You just can't hide it anymore. He's so sweet... You were so angry last night, so mean to him, because he danced with a girl. You're not in the position to be mean at him... He's just so nice to you. He never did anything wrong, he's always the first to help. And well, he don't even know you like him, so, what do you think? He can do whatever he wants ...and with who he wants. You blink a few times, but you don't even get the chance to look at him. He just shoves himself into your room, hugs you as thight as possible, just holding you and stroking your back. "Don't cry, Dollface. You're too pretty to be this sad!" , he smiles into your hair. Your hands wrap around his waist, trying to not spill any of your coffee on him or the floor.  You just hold onto him as his strong arms are holding you. After a few moments he pulls a bit away. Taking the cup out of your hands, placing it on the small shelf next to your door. He looks at you, still holding you close to him and you blush. Face red as a tomato ,realising you just wearing your wardrobe and nothing else. He cups your face with one hand, forcing you to look at him. He gives you a shy smile as his thumb strokes your cheeck, wiping away a single tear. You feel your heart race. Afraid it might explode out of your chest in the next few seconds. He can feel it too. He hears how fast your heart beats and how his is doing exactly the same. "Doll...", he speaks, bringing you closer to him. You feel his strong muscles ripple against you. "I'm going to kiss you now.", he states. Your eyes, wide as cherry pies, your lips parted but you can't say anything as he brings his face closer and then his lips meet yours. His soft lipes moving against yours and you just melt into his touch, kissing him back within a second. He smiles into the kiss, teasing your lips with his tongue and you let him in. Your tongue dancing with his and you feel butterflies exploding in your stomach. He breaks the kiss, watching you all flustered, cheeks red and lips swollen and glossy. He helds you close, kissing your nose. "You're prefect. I hope you know that.", he whispers. You smile shy at him and hug him tight. "What is that all about ?", you ask in a low hum. He chuckles:" Dummie... isn't that obvious?", squeezing your hips. You smile:" I'm not a dummie... dummie.", you shoot back , eyes meeting his sparkling blues. "Well... You wanna go on a dummiedate with me? Just you and me... two dummies.", he grins and his cheeks are now the same color as yours. You can just nod and throw your arms around his neck, pulling him down for another kiss. You start walking backwards, still kissing him and he follows. The back of your legs meeting the bed and you just pull him with you, falling into the bed, Bucky on top of you. You giggle into the kiss and he chuckles, stroking your cheek and looking at you. "I love you.... you know? I do for quite a while....", he finally confesses. You just stare up from underneath him, tears rolling down from your eyes. "I .... Oh Bucky .... If i knew your confession would come after i drank too much, i would've gotten drunk much, much earlier ", you sob and laugh at the same time. He chuckles and presses his lips to yours again. "So, that was a yes for the date, right ?" "Totally", you stroke his hair behind his ear, smiling at him: "Dummiedate."

You don't even know how much time passed and how and when and why. But you and Bucky just cuddled the whole day in your bed and he was even sweeter than you could ever imagine.

That's me in the corner

That's me in the spot-light

Losing my religion

________________     ( <3 )     _________________

Thank you for reading (: I hope you liked it and i'd love to get some feedback on that. Maybe i start to write more stuff.

xo

[sebstanaddict]

Love Song

Prologue - Always Look on The Bright Side of Life

Summary : A romantic comedy story between Sebastian Stan and female reader where we witness their journey after they said I do.

After finally succeeded in proposing to reader on his fourth attempt, Sebastian and reader prepares for their wedding day amidst the chaos of taking care of their baby daughter and a new member of the family who couldn't help but be part of the drama in their wedding preparation.

Pairings : Sebastian Stan x Female!Reader

Chapters: 17 (Might add more)

Chapter List >

Warning : fluff, animal violence (a little), sexual references

Word count : 4.9k

This is a sequel to my first Sebastian fic Always You. If you want to understand more about Sebastian's and reader's relationship, please read it first. But it's not necessary to understand this story. Check it out here.

Some things in life are bad They can really make you mad Other things just make you swear and curse When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best

And...always look on the bright side of life Always look on the light side of life

If life seems jolly rotten There's something you've forgotten And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing When you're feeling in the dumps Don't be silly chumps Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing

And...always look on the bright side of life Always look on the light side of life

Always Look on The Bright Side of Life - Monty Python ----- Rubirosa Italian Restaurant, Nolita, Manhattan, New York - May 3rd 2023

It was a cold night in the heart of Nolita, Manhattan, but inside a small Italian restaurant famous for its red and white awning, cozy interior and thin crusts pizza the atmosphere was warm and loud.

Rubirosa was full that night. All the tables were occupied including those by the bar, like it always was every night. No one could dine in without a reservation months in advance. Making it one of the most exclusive Italian restaurants to dine in. Despite it being full, somehow a couple could get an empty table that night. Yes, the table wasn't located in the most comfortable spot. It was loud and hot because it was near the kitchen, but this couple didn't care. They were there for the food and not the atmosphere.

A large pizza with toppings of pepperoni, mini meatball, tomatoes, roasted garlic and of course melted mozzarella was placed on the middle of the table. Y/n picked up a slice of the Rubirosa Supreme Pizza they had ordered and took a bite. No matter how many times in her life she had eaten it, it never failed to make her feel like she was just transported to heaven. She chewed it slowly while looking at her handsome fiance sitting across from her. He was eating the pizza too but his eyes were glued to hers and she could see a slight desire in his eyes. Desire for her.. not for the pizza obviously. She realized she had let out a soft moan after taking a bite of the pizza and that was what probably caused him to look at her that way. She blushed as she realized what she just did and her fiance smiled at her.

"You look pretty when you blush, sweetheart.. I miss seeing that." He winked, making her blush even more.

They were engaged for four months now and had been in a relationship for almost a year and a half, but he always were able to make her blush or skip a heart beat whenever he looked at her. They had been friends even longer than that, a whopping twenty years before they finally got together. Yet sometimes she felt like she just met him and fell in love with him. Which was a feeling she loved. She hoped she would never lose that feeling as they got married and became husband and wife. She hoped he could always make her feel butterflies in her stomach and make her heart beat faster.

They had been apart for three months because of his work. Sebastian Stan, her fiancee, was a famous Hollywood actor most notably known for his role as Bucky Barnes, The Winter Soldier in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. He was filming for the new Marvel movie, Captain America New World Order in Atlanta and Prague from the beginning of the year and was just finished early that week. For the first month of shooting the movie, Y/n and their baby daughter Starlene went along with Sebastian to Atlanta. But having a baby on set was too much of a distraction. Not just for Sebastian but also to the other cast members and crew. Additionally, Y/n needed to plan and organize their wedding back in New York. It was a hassle to try to do it from Atlanta. So she and Starlene went back to New York on the second month of filming.

Y/n and Sebastian had decided to have their wedding on May 6th in New York because in June Sebastian was going to start filming another Marvel movie, The Thunderbolts. He only had a month off between filming Captain America New World Order and The Thunderbolts. They didn't want to wait longer to get married so they decided to have their wedding in early May. They planned on going on a honeymoon soon after. Well, they were going to take Starlene with them, so the term honeymoon was probably inaccurate. It was more like a family holiday.

Y/n originally didn't want to take Starlene with them knowing how much of a hassle it was to travel with a baby. However, Sebastian insisted. He said he wanted to take their baby because she was an integral part of their lives and that they were family anyway. He also missed her so much having been away from her for months. He thought it would be good to spend his time off with both of them and not just Y/n. Having heard Sebastian's reasons for wanting to take Starlene with them Y/n finally agreed, though with a heavy heart.

She didn't want to admit it to anyone but having a baby and taking care of her 24 hours a day 7 days a week had started to take a toll on her. Especially since she was alone for the past three months. She didn't want to sound like an ungrateful mother because Starlene was a sweet child and rarely caused trouble. But she sometimes missed just being able to be by herself or just enjoy having a bath without worrying their baby would look for her.

Starlene was 10 months old and wasn't able to walk yet but she could crawl around their apartment. And she could already get out of her crib by herself. Numerous times Y/n was in the bathroom and Starlene came crawling to find her, crying and screaming as if Y/n just left her alone in an orphanage or something. Y/n tried her best to still have some 'me time' despite having to care for Starlene everyday. But it still felt different. She felt she needed to be physically away from Starlene in order for her to be able to relax. So when Sebastian came home from Prague and asked her out on a date night before they officially became husband and wife, she immediately said yes.

Y/n continued eating her pizza while under the watchful eyes of Sebastian. She ended up staring back at his beautiful blue eyes. How much she missed those gorgeous eyes. Three months really was too long for them to be apart. But she needed to get used to it.

Sebastian was at the peak of his career, he had project after project to do that year and the year after. He was a workaholic and really enjoyed his craft. She understood that he didn't want to waste that time by being lazy in his work. He was an immigrant from Romania and worked his way up from the bottom. His mother married an American and they moved from Romania to the US when Sebastian was only twelve years old. Being an immigrant Sebastian always felt the need to prove himself to his Romanian family and he didn't want to waste his good fortune by being lazy. Y/n could accept that. Still, she wished he hadn't been so busy and had more time for her and Starlene. It was something she probably needed to talk about with him as they were about to get married.

They finally finished eating their pizza and as soon as they did Sebastian quickly asked for the check to the waitress.

"Iubirea mea, we still haven't ordered dessert yet. Why are you in a hurry?" Y/n asked, calling him with the endearing name she came up with for him which meant "my love" in Romanian. Her eyebrows raised as she watched Sebastian pulled his wallet out and put some dollar bills on top of the check.

"I don't really feel like having dessert.. except if it's you." Sebastian winked making her blush yet again.

He just came back to New York the day before and they hadn't had the chance to make love since he came back. Y/n suspected they would be able to do it that night and she really was looking forward to it too, as much as she was ashamed to admit it.

Sebastian pulled her hand up and she stood up. They walked quickly out of the restaurant and got into his car parked not far from there. As soon as they got in Sebastian turned her face to face him and kissed her passionately, surprising Y/n.

"You really miss me, don't you?" Y/n said breathlessly as Sebastian started to plant kisses along the side of her neck.

"You have no idea how much I miss you, sweetheart." Sebastian whispered on her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

"Let's just go home, Iubirea mea.." Y/n said, pushing Sebastian off her.

"You can't wait either can you?" Sebastian chuckled and Y/n just gave him a bashful smile.

"Alright, let's go home. Let's have the best sex ever before we become husband and wife." Sebastian said as he started the engine of his car, making her chuckle.

It literally took them minutes to get back to their apartment. The distance between the restaurant and their apartment was only 0,3 miles. But they didn't want to walk there because as Sebastian became more famous, it was increasingly difficult for him to be able to walk down the street without being noticed. So they felt more comfortable riding in a car where people wouldn't be able to see him.

Sebastian parked his car in a parking garage near their apartment, and they walked hand in hand toward their apartment. It was 9 pm already and there weren't many people around, so they weren't afraid of being noticed. All the way there Sebastian kept whispering to her what he would like to do to her once they get back, making her blush and giggle all the way. He really was in a seductive mood, she thought and she couldn't help but feel flattered that she could make him feel like that.

When they got on their floor of their apartment they could hear a loud yelling coming out from inside their apartment. They had left Starlene to be babysat by Edward, Sebastian's best friend and personal assistant. Shannon, Y/n's best friend whom she usually asked to babysit Starlene had a date with her boyfriend so she couldn't babysit Starlene that night. They didn't want to bother Sebastian's mother, who was living in Nyack, New York, 30 miles away from them, to babysit. Thankfully Edward was available. The problem was, Edward himself had no experience with a baby because he didn't have children yet. But they had no other option so they decided to trust Edward, hoping he would be able to handle it. They weren't planning on leaving for too long anyway. But hearing Edward's loud yelling from inside their apartment made Y/n immediately regret deciding to leave Starlene to be babysat by Edward.

When they opened their apartment door they were welcomed by the most unexpected scene they ever saw. Edward was on the floor holding a golden retriever puppy Sebastian had adopted as a birthday present for Y/n a month before. Y/n had complained of being somewhat lonely being away from Sebastian. Being a thoughtful fiancee, Sebastian decided to give her a companion in the form of an eight week old golden retriever puppy. Y/n was delighted to accept the puppy but she secretly felt it was more of a hassle then helpful. Taking care of both a baby and a puppy alone really was not a walk in the park. She didn't dare voice her concerns to Sebastian though, afraid of hurting his feelings. So she kept her feelings to herself. The puppy turned out to be a great companion for Starlene. And as he grew older and became smarter and more trained, Y/n had started to feel more used to him and really was grateful he was there to accompany her and Starlene.

Y/n's eyes widened as he watched Edward on the floor. He had his hand on the back of the puppy's neck, hitting it repeatedly as he yelled.

"Bad boy, bad boy Lucky! Spit it out! Spit it out Lucky!" Edward yelled.

Starlene was sitting on the floor near Edward, her hand holding a plush doll in the form of a dog and she was hitting the doll's neck, much like Edward did while yelling in a garbled baby voice only she could understand.

Their apartment was in such a mess. Starlene's and Lucky's toys were strewn all over the floor. The TV was on loudly showing an episode from Sesame Street where Elmo was singing. Y/n glanced on the coffee table and saw a bowl of popcorn filled halfway through and popcorn were strewn all over the table. A baby bottle filled with milk laid sideways by the bowl, with its cap nowhere to be seen.  She glanced toward the kitchen and saw an opened can of baby formula, the measurement spoon lying on the table next to it and some of the baby formula dusted the table.

"Edward! What the h**l is going on?!" Sebastian shouted as he went down on the floor and pried Lucky, their puppy, off Edward's hands.

"Oh.. you guys are home!" Edward said, looking at both Sebastian and Y/n with a guilty look on his face.

Y/n went down and picked Starlene up off the floor and carried her while Sebastian picked Lucky up and carried him away from Edward.

"Edward, did Lucky eat something he isn't supposed to?" Y/n asked pointedly.

"He did.. I'm sorry.. I was busy preparing Starlene's milk and didn't see what he was doing. I left them for only like a minute. I swear!" Edward sighed as he got up off the floor and dusted his pants.

"What did he eat?" Sebastian asked while studying Lucky. The puppy was whimpering in his arms, he still seemed shocked.

"He.. umm.. he ate one of your wedding rings." Edward said slowly, his head hung in shame and he put one of his hand behind his neck nervously.

"He what?!" Y/n and Sebastian exclaimed in unison, their eyes widened in surprise.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I put the velvet box containing the rings on the coffee table as I went to make Starlene her milk. I left Starlene and Lucky on the sofa and I guess Starlene crawled down and somehow opened the velvet box and got one of the rings out. When I got back I saw Lucky licked the ring and then he ate it. I tried to prevent him from swallowing it but it happened so fast, there was nothing I could do." Edward explained, his eyebrows furrowed in anxiety.

"Great! Now what do we do?!" Sebastian exclaimed in frustration.

Sebastian just gave Edward their wedding rings earlier that day as Edward was his best man and was supposed to keep them safe.

"The wedding is in 3 days and I don't know how long it'll take for Lucky to pass it out in his stool. IF he can pass it at all. What if it gets stuck in his intestine?!" Sebastian asked as he continued to study Lucky who was now struggling to get free from his arms.

"That's why I tried to make him spit it out or throw up." Edward said.

"But that's not how you make him spit it out, you were hurting him!" Sebastian protested.

"Well I don't know how else to do it! I'm not a doctor! I'm already stressed enough as it is!" Edward replied back, defending himself.

"You only had to watch them for two hours, Edward, two hours! Seriously!" Sebastian said.

"Well I'm sorry if I'm doing a bad job. As you know, I don't have children or pets on my own. You should have chosen someone with more experience!" Edward protested.

Edward's eyes looked sad and anxious. He seemed to be really overwhelmed. Y/n could see there were dark circles under his eyes. Being best man for Sebastian had taken a toll on him it seemed. Sebastian being away from New York didn't help. Several times Edward had to fly to Atlanta and Prague with the tailor to make sure Sebastian's suit was perfect. On top of that he also had the responsibility of taking care of the transportation for Sebastian, Y/n and their whole family from their places to the wedding venue, as well as organizing all the groomsmen and planning the bachelor's party. Taking care of Starlene and Lucky was not supposed to be his job as well. They really should have just hired a professional baby sitter. Sebastian seemed to realize he was too harsh on Edward too.

"Let's just focus on the situation at hand, Edward." Sebastian sighed and lowered his tone of voice.

"Do you think it's better to clean up the ring from vomit or poop? That's the big question. So we can decide what to do." Edward said as he racked his brain trying to find a solution.

"What kind of question is that?" Sebastian asked incredulously.

"A valid question for the problem at hand." Edward folded his hand in front of him, annoyed at Sebastian's remarks.

"Well.. I prefer cleaning poop.. vomit will trigger me to vomit as well." Sebastian said after giving it some thought.

"Seriously, dude. But it's poop.. dog poop at that. Personally I'd rather clean up vomit." Edward said.

"Well.. this isn't helping. Besides, how are we supposed to make him vomit or poop. I have no freaking idea!" Sebastian said, raising his voice again in frustration.

"Guys, stop bickering already! I know what to do." Y/n said as she looked up from her cellphone. While the boys were bickering she consulted the internet and figured out the best way to handle the situation was to bring Lucky to the vet.

"Seb, let's go. We have to take Lucky to the vet. They'll be able to help." She continued while putting her cellphone back in her pocket.

"But it's late, what vet opens at this hour?" Sebastian asked incredulously.

"There's one specializing in emergency situations on 6th St, they should be open now." Y/n said referring to a 24 hour veterinary emergency clinic located about 2 miles from their apartment.

"Okay, let's go." Sebastian said as he carried Lucky out of their apartment. Edward and Y/n followed him out the door, close on his heels.

It took them 15 minutes to get to the clinic. Thankfully there was a vet available and no one else was there so Lucky was able to be seen immediately. After listening to their stories and examining Lucky, the vet decided to induce vomiting from Lucky. Within five minutes of being given a medicine to induce vomiting, sure enough, Lucky vomited and thankfully their wedding ring came out with it. 

"Just give the ring to Edward, here, doctor. He said he preferred cleaning the ring from vomit instead of poop after all." Sebastian beckoned his head toward Edward who was standing near the door of the examination room. Clearly he was joking and made the vet and Y/n laugh.

"Yeah, I deserve that." Edward said, looking down on the floor in shame.

Their ring ended up cleaned by the vet's assistant, and Y/n made a mental note to clean it again at home. The ring Lucky swallowed was the one for her, she needed to make sure it was thoroughly cleaned before the wedding.

"Thank you, doctor." Sebastian said as they all started to leave the examination room.

"No problem Mr.Stan. You must watch Lucky carefully. He's in that phase of putting things in his mouth. Don't let him near anything dangerous to eat again." the vet explained.

"Of course, doctor." Sebastian nodded.

"I'm sorry again guys about what happened." Edward said as soon as they got out of the clinic. He looked at them both with deep regret in his eyes.

"I f****d up big time. I'm really sorry." He said, his head hung.

"It's okay Edward, the important thing is Lucky is okay and we got the ring back." Sebastian said, clapping his best friend's shoulder.

"I'm sorry that I was yelling at you." Sebastian continued as he gazed at his best friend, his eyebrows furrowed in regret.

"It's okay, man." Edward said, giving him a small smile. Relief started to fill his eyes.

"Thank you so much for everything, Edward. You have been by my side all this time and I was such a d**k. I mean.. Of all the things I trusted you to handle you only mess up this one time. You didn't deserve to be treated like that. I don't know what I would do without your help, Edward. I'm sorry." Sebastian said as he gave him a meaningful look.

"It's okay, Seb. Thank you for trusting me all this time. I guess I have to fail at something in order to improve myself." Edward said.

"That's a good way of looking into it." Y/n smiled and patted Edward's arm in encouragement while Sebastian reached out and gave Edward a hug.

"Anyway, I hope it's okay with you but I guess we're gonna keep the ring ourselves until the wedding day." Sebastian said, releasing Edward from his hug.

"Yeah, sure. I don't trust myself with it anyway." Edward shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, man. I just don't want to take a risk, you know." Sebastian said.

"Yeah, I get it. It's fine." Edward smiled.

"By the way, don't forget, we'll pick you up at 6 pm tomorrow for the bachelor's party, okay?" Edward said.

"Oh yeah, okay. Where are you guys gonna take me?" Sebastian asked.

"It's a secret.. you'll see." Edward winked.

"I hope you're not gonna take him to a stripper club, Edward." Y/n said.

"Y/n.. we're not that low in taste.. besides, the paparazzis are gonna have a field day if he goes to a stripper club." Edward said, making a valid point.

"Yeah you're right." Y/n nodded.

Having cleared up the situation with Edward, they walked toward Sebastian's car and went home. Edward tagged along as he didn't bring his own transportation to their apartment. After dropping Edward off at his apartment, Sebastian and Y/n went back to their apartment. 

Starlene was asleep by the time they got back. After putting Starlene in her crib, Y/n went around the apartment putting back toys where they belong and cleaned up the coffee and kitchen table. She also cleaned up the ring Lucky had swallowed. Sebastian had given her the ring at the vet. He trusted her more than himself to keep it safe. She found Sebastian's wedding ring still inside the velvet box right under the coffee table. She picked it up, put her perfectly cleaned ring in the box next to Sebastian's ring, and put them both safely away in a dresser in her bedroom.

After she finished cleaning up, Y/n flopped down on the couch in their living room and massaged her temple. She felt really tired after all that just happened. Sebastian came to sit down next to her not long after. He just finished putting Lucky in his bed and successfully made him sleep.

"So.." Sebastian said, glancing at Y/n.

"So.." Y/n glanced back at him.

They both burst out laughing as the absurdity of what just happened finally hit them.

"So much for a sexy night." Y/n said after their laughter finally subsided.

"We can still have a sexy night if you want to." Sebastian winked and he launched himself at Y/n and started tickling her waist.

"Seb, no..stop it.." Y/n giggled as she tried to pry his tickling hands away from her.

"The monster needs to eat.. monster is hungry.." Sebastian growled playfully and he started to kiss Y/n's neck making her squirm even more. He then stood up and hoisted her over his shoulder effortlessly.

"Noo.. someone help.. a monster is trying to eat me!" Y/n protested playfully as Sebastian carried her toward their bedroom, squirming and struggling all the way.

"Ssshhh.. sweetheart, keep it down.. you're gonna wake Starlene or Lucky." Sebastian reminded her as he walked nearer to their bedroom.

Sure enough once they almost entered their bedroom Starlene woke up and started crying, prompting Sebastian to turn toward Starlene's room. But he forgot to account for Y/n being on his shoulder and her head hit the door frame of their bedroom when he turned.

"Ouch!" Y/n yelped in pain.

"Oh my God, honey.. I'm so sorry.. are you okay?" Sebastian asked in concern as he put her down on the floor in front of Starlene's room.

"I'm okay.. I'm okay.. " Y/n said, rubbing the bump on her head. She felt slightly lightheaded as her head throbbed painfully. Sebastian rubbed her head gently and kissed it, making her feel somewhat better. Then they stared at each other for a moment amidst Starlene's cries and burst out laughing.

"What's happening to us Iubirea mea?" She giggled.

"I don't know, honey. But I have a feeling our wedding is going to be interesting." He chuckled.

He then stood up and pulled Y/n up with him and they entered Starlene's room. Y/n carried Starlene and rocked her to sleep while Sebastian sang a lullaby he loved to sing for her.

"When I see you smile.. I can change the world.. woaaah.. you know I can do anything." Sebastian crooned softly. His choice of a lullaby wasn't exactly conventional but it did the job. Starlene fell asleep after Sebastian finished singing the whole song. Y/n put her down gently in her crib and they went out of her room, closing the door behind them softly.

They went into their bedroom and Sebastian wasted no time in continuing where they left off. As soon as the bedroom door closed he started to kiss Y/n passionately and guided her toward their bed. Y/n was surprised but couldn't deny that she wanted it too. It was just that her head still ached and she felt a weird burning feeling in her nose. As Sebastian laid her down on the bed, she felt something trickling down from her nose. She tasted it and the metallic tang from it made her realize her nose was bleeding.

"Honey, you're bleeding!" Sebastian exclaimed in concern, realizing it as well as he looked down at her.

He got up from the bed and grabbed a tissue box from the nightstand. He pulled some sheets of tissue from the tissue box, cleaned the blood that already trickled down from her nose. He then pulled some more tissue and rolled them into small pieces and put them in Y/n's nose gently.

"Thank you, Iubirea mea." Y/n smiled as she looked up at him.

Sebastian propped himself with his left hand and laid down next to her. He looked down at her with a soft adoring look on his face.

"You're welcome, honey. Do you want to go to a doctor to get checked?" He asked in concern as he gently caressed Y/n's cheek with his thumb.

"No, it's okay. I think I'm gonna be just fine." She said, shaking her head.

"Okay then." Sebastian said and for a moment they just gazed at each other in a comfortable silence.

"You look beautiful." He said while still caressing her cheek.

"Are you sure, Iubirea mea? I bet I look like Mike Tyson just hit me in the face." She commented, making him laugh.

"You still look a thousand times more beautiful having just been hit by Mike Tyson compared to any girl in the world." He continued, winking at her.

She smiled listening to his compliment. He could be over the top whenever he complimented her to the point where it made her feel uncomfortable at times. But she couldn't deny that she loved it too.

He leaned down and started kissing her again but she was seriously still not feeling good. So she pushed him away gently.

"I'm sorry, Iubirea mea. Can we.. umm.. postpone this? I'm still having a headache." She grimaced.

"Oh..yeah..alright. I'm sorry, honey. We should just go to sleep. Get some rest." Sebastian said and Y/n nodded.

They got up from the bed and changed into their sleeping attire.

"I really hope what happened weren't signs of anything bad that's going to happen." Sebastian said as he pulled up the comforter on their bed and scooted in.

"Seb, I'm sure they were just accidents. Stop being so superstitious." Y/n said, sighing as she pulled the comforter on her side of the bed and scooted in next to him.

"Well, you know I was brought up in Romania where the people still believe in a lot of superstition." Sebastian said, defending himself.

"Yeah, I know. It's still annoying though, sometimes." Y/n commented.

"You really think so?" Sebastian asked, his eyebrows raised.

"I'm sorry, Iubirea mea. Let's just go to sleep. I'm tired." Y/n said as she scooted closer to him and put her arms around him. All the sexy feelings she had went out the window as her head still ached and she still had the tissue in her nose.

"Yeah, okay. I'm exhausted too." Sebastian said, putting his arms around her as well.

"Good night, Iubirea mea." Y/n mumbled as she looked up at him.

"Good night, sweetheart." Sebastian smiled as he looked down at her and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead.

They went to sleep that night without making love yet again. Something Y/n didn't expect. But her mood for it really went out the window. And it seemed Sebastian's mood for it was also gone. He was asleep within minutes after saying good night to her.

She felt kind of weird. They had been apart for months and they hadn't made love yet since they met. Not that they didn't want to. The timing was just always off strangely enough. Was this a peek into married life? She thought as she felt a little sadness crept into her heart. The next night Sebastian was expected to stay over wherever Edward had planned his bachelor's party to be held. And for the night after that, well.. they planned on spending the night before their wedding separately as they tried to follow the tradition on not seeing each other until the wedding ceremony. So really, that night was supposed to be their last night together before the wedding.

Y/n decided to brush the sadness feeling off. They still had the next morning to make up for it before their wedding. She hoped she would feel better the next morning and they could probably make love as soon as they woke up. And after the wedding they would have more nights to be together. After all, they were going to live together happily ever after. She should just focus on that. She thought and she finally drifted off to sleep with that comforting thought in her mind.

Chapter 1 >

[jimblejamblewritings]

not a soldat | part 7.

Summary: Y/N L/N is not a superhero. No serums, no agencies. Just a civilian from a long line of family that’s served in the military. Y/N’s a history buff and bit of a spy in her own special way. This somehow lands her in trouble she never saw coming and straight into the hands of Falcon, Captain America, and Black Widow… if she doesn’t get caught in the unbreakable grasp of the Winter Soldier first.

Warning for the Series: violence, angst, slow burn

Pairing: Bucky x black!reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

They wouldn’t let you see Bucky. Ross didn’t care what deals they had made with you. After you had heard he and Steve landed in the water from a helicopter crash that Steve caused, they wouldn’t let you see him. And unfortunately the Avengers seemed to agree because of your lack of any sort of super power— even Nick.

“The minute we know he’s not the Winter Soldier, we let you in to see him. Okay?”

You were surprised the Secretary of State was on your side. You had really freaked him and the rest of the UN out, now they wanted to do whatever stayed on your good side. And it seemed that your good side had everything to do with Barnes— even after they were sure he almost killed you. It started with them getting the press to clear Bucky’s name. Albeit, that process was going very slow.

Maybe it wasn’t fair, potentially even selfish, but Steve went inside the room to see Bucky first before you. You felt a bit of betrayal as he took Sam with him. Nat put a hand on your shoulder in an attempt for comfort. You watched as Bucky rattled off facts about him, things you couldn’t find in a museum. Things only Steve and Bucky knew— and you from transcribing his journal.

“And just like that we’re supposed to be cool?” Sam asked.

“What did I do?” Bucky asked, eyes pleading.

“Enough,” Steve responded.

“Oh, God, I knew this would happen. Everything HYDRA put inside me is still there and all he had to do was say some bullshit words.”

“Who was he?”

“I don’t know.”

“People died for this man to get ten minutes with you. We need better than that, Buck.”

“He wanted to know about Siberia,” Bucky tried to recall. In Winter Soldier mode, he blacked out mostly. “Where I was kept, exactly where.”

“Why would he need to know that?”

“Because he’s not the only Winter Soldier,” you whispered at the same time Bucky said it.

The hand Nat had on your shoulder clenched up. They all looked around at each other. Steve and Sam looked back at the two way mirror. If Bucky wasn’t the only one, the world was screwed. It was something you had just finished uncovering in a waterlogged HYDRA file that came your way. Ross, Nick, and the secretary turned to you.

“If you hadn’t attacked I would’ve been able to send you that information.”

Ross went in and kicked Steve and Sam out. Sam and Steve walked back into the room, communicating to the rest of the Avengers team with just nods.

“Where is she?” Bucky asked.

“What the hell do you know about the other soldiers? We need to know this, Barnes.”

“Where is she? Is she okay?”

Ross looked around, exasperated, before turning to face the mirror. “Send (Y/N) in.”

Ross watched as you walked in. You held out a hand and after a defiant look he settled and gave you the key before leaving. Bucky watched you step further into the room, finally in a different dress.

“This a smart idea?” the secretary asked Ross.

For once everyone agreed, the Avengers were concerned about you. They watched as you unlocked Bucky’s cuffs. He didn’t move, they weren’t even sure if he was breathing as you stepped near him.

“No,” Ross said. “He makes a move to kill her and we’re screwed.”

“Barnes trusts her. He was alone in Romania but opened up to her. I don’t think he would do that,” Nat said.

“He stopped attacking her. She said he recognized her even as the Winter Soldier.”

Nick and Ross looked at Steve. He had dropped a bombshell and everyone knew it. This wasn’t the first time Bucky seemed to have a moment of clarity while in Soldier mode— and not the first time with you.

“So he’s the only one he’ll speak to,” Ross said.

“Even if he knows the rest of us are behind this glass?” Nick questioned.

They watched you sit on the floor, tucking your dress into your lap to keep everything hidden and protected. Everyone collectively relaxed as Bucky slowly sunk to the floor and sat cross-legged across from you.

“Do you have it?” he asked.

You nodded and took the knife from the thigh strap. Bucky nodded as he saw it.

“Don’t put it up,” he said as you went to place it back into its place.

“You won’t hurt me, Bucky.”

“I did hurt you.”

“Bucky didn’t hurt me, whatever that man did to you hurt me. The Winter Soldier hurt me.”

Bucky swallowed and looked down. He pulled down the long sleeve of his shirt to hide the metal arm as best as he could when you subconsciously rubbed at your neck.

“Soldat stopped him.”

Bucky looked up again.

“I’m okay, so please don’t beat yourself up, Bucky.”

“But I…”  

Everyone on the other side of the mirror froze as you slid the knife over to Bucky. Sam had one hand on the door ready to race in.

“Then hurt me, Bucky… no? You didn’t and you won’t. Stand up, please.”

He wouldn’t move until you picked up the knife. You put it back in the thigh strap but it was good enough for him. Bucky followed where you directed him, getting almost uncomfortably close to the mirror making the secretary back up even though he wasn’t in the room. No one on the other side knew what you were doing as you walked behind Bucky. He wouldn’t talk and you knew it.

You knew he was aware of all of them on the other side— if he didn’t before, the rotating door of people before you that came in was definitely a big clue. You needed Bucky to be comfortable and to open up again. Everyone on the other side of the glass looked in mild surprise at the sight in front of them.

“Did he just crack a smile?” Tony asked.

Bucky couldn’t help it as he felt your heavy head when your forehead landed on his back. You breathed out a large sigh.

“I’m cold.”

“It’s an interrogation room, printesa.”

“When are you going to teach me Romanian?”

“I’ll start tomorrow. Heard Sam call you Caliber. That nickname related to what I think it is?”

“Only arrows and a twenty-two.”

“How good?”

“Eight rounds to the head, seven to the chest.”

“Moving target?”

“Can hit a kill zone if I really tried.”

“Why haven’t we bought you a gun yet instead of just the knife.”

You chuckled slightly before getting serious now that Bucky was warmed up.

“Will you tell me about the others?”

They watched Bucky stiffen slightly before relaxing. He turned his head slightly to try and look at you. You slipped your hand into his flesh one, another sight that surprised them all. Bucky faced forward again but wouldn’t let go of your hand. Ross and Sharon took notes as Bucky spoke, your mumbles and noises to let him know you were listening spurred him to continue talking. Notebooks didn’t do justice to what Bucky remembered. You tapped his hand in the same pattern that you would knock on his door, twice and then once, as he talked about the training he put the others through.

“But they were unstable at times. However, HYDRA’s most elite death squad was too good for them to kill the programs. My kills look like nothing in comparison to them and that was before the serum.”

“Are they all like you?”

“Worse. They speak thirty languages, can hide in plain sight, destabilize. You can take down a whole country with the documents you have but that would still take months… they need one night.”

“And would the doctor be able to control them?”

“Enough.”

“And they all used your trigger words, everyone’s under the same control?”

“To activate them, yes. To turn it off, we’re all on different triggers.”

“Thank you for telling me, Bucky… I’m still cold.”

He huffed out something the others could compare to a laugh. You tapped Bucky’s hand in the pattern once more before removing your hand from his.

“What is about her?” Nick asked. “She gets everyone to open up.”

The secretary looked at where you had peeked out from behind Bucky. “When this is all over, I want her moved up from just the historian.”

“Sir, (Y/N) has no training,” Sharon said. “There’s a reason she didn’t join the military like the rest of her family. Are we about to throw her into a life that she stayed away from. For what? Interrogations and decoding?”

“She stopped being a civilian the minute HYDRA had a target on her. The whole goddamn UN knows her name, so we train her but she clearly can’t go back to normal… if we’re going after the other Winter Soldiers, we need more than just you guys.”

“The Accords haven’t been redone.”

“Congrats, Captain Rogers. This is your last off-grid mission, round up anyone else you can and stop them. I’ll get the UN on the phone, schedule a hearing in a few days for when you get back.”

They shut up when you and Bucky entered. Any potential crack of emotion they saw from Bucky through the mirror was gone the minute he stepped into the room with anyone that wasn’t you or Steve. Ross eyed him.

“You know we need him. If we’re going to stop the others, he’s the best lead we have.”

“Absolutely not,” Steve said.

“With all due respect, I wasn’t asking. (Y/N) has to come too. She would stay on the quinjet,” Ross quickly said before the protests could leave their mouths. “But if she’s the only one who can crack through Barnes even a little bit, she stays as close to him as possible.”

Everyone nodded and started planning how to get home and find any other superheroes they knew, as well as getting Wanda, Clint, and Vision from the compound. T’Challa approached you and Bucky.

“I would like to give my sincere apologies to you both. If you ever need anything, do not hesitate to find me.”

“You won’t fight?”

“I think I need to be with my people currently.”

~~

You were in a hotel room next to Bucky’s. Since they were headed to Moscow it was agreed that you and Bucky would stay in Berlin while the others gathered who they could. Bucky hesitantly knocked on your door. You opened without hesitation, he still wasn’t sure around you after what happened. Bucky looked at the attire you were given, pants for once but still not dressed down.

“Should we order room service?” you asked.

“Whatever you want.”

You flipped through the menu, ordering for both of you before hanging up. It was silent until the food came but not the good silent that was usually between the two of you.

“I don’t like whatever Bucky this is.”

“Why did you trust me? The only person still trying is Steve but I knew him before. Why you? Your first memory of me was a headlock.”

“And my second memory was you dropping Steve at my feet, checking that he was still breathing before handing me a knife to protect myself. Whatever made you remember Steve told you that you could trust me. And then in Romania. Bucky you’ve never once done anything outside of a mind control situation that made me scared of you.”

“But if I can’t stop. Those words.”

“We’ll stop them all then.”

Bucky laughed at your tenacity. He watched you clear the plates and take the tray to place outside the door. When you sat back on the bed, you weren’t expecting Bucky to shove something in your hand. You looked to see his tags.

“Bucky.”

“I know that there’s a chance I snap at any moment. As long as someone out there knows those words then I’m not safe. No one is with the Winter Soldier still out of my control. Keep it, I want someone to remember James Buchanan Barnes. I trust you with my life.”

“You know you’re technically active duty right?” you tried to joke.

“Avengers ain’t the military, printesa. I’m a vet from that. Never looking back.”

You put the chain on and tucked the tags under your shirt. Bucky couldn’t help but smile at that, most people if given tags would wear them out but you tucked them in like they were your own.

~~

The quinjet made you nervous no matter how much bulletproof stuff they put on you. It didn’t help that Tony discovered the doctor who interviewed Bucky wasn’t the actual doctor— the real man was found dead in his hotel bathtub. Whoever interviewed Bucky was named Zemo, a man that lost his family in Sokovia. A man that blamed the Avengers and wanted to destroy them from within and almost succeeded. But since there was a breakthrough, his only other option was to release Winter Soldiers on the world. It was either bring the fight to him or let the soldiers out— he wasn’t going to stop until the Avengers were over.

You were equipped with a comm and placed in between several Avengers. The quinjet couldn’t stay on the snowy peak so you had to exit with them but they left you in a hidden corridor and gave you a comm to hear everything. Bucky shoved a small handgun in your hand before disappearing with the others.

You listened over the comm to the monologuing and then the sounds of fighting. You couldn’t tell who was winning but considering every Avengers’ breath could be heard in your ear, you knew they were all alive— not without injury, you had heard the crash of Rhodey hit the floor when a soldier took out his legs. And then it got quiet for a moment.

“No,” you heard Tony whisper.

What you couldn’t see was that despite being engaged in a fight with the other Winter Soldiers, the Avengers couldn’t currently get to Zemo who was in a safe bunker watching the action. Zemo played a video. You heard the constant apologies of Bucky and the quiet sobs of Tony. And then even Tony’s sobs stopped as you heard the first word of Russian come from Zemo’s mouth.

“Longing.”

(Part 8)...

[sgt-seabass]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💜

Thank you Alice, and thank you @bemine-bucky for the tag as well 💙

As I Sleep

Tear You Apart

Red Sun

Monster

Mr Sandman

I’m gonna tag some peeps as it’s much easier for me with my limited time atm -

@buckybarneschokeme @late-to-the-party-81 @cherienymphe @ambrosiase @soldatsass

[the-wintershade]

trust me (always)

pairing: sam wilson x f!reader  summary: it’s hard for you to trust anyone, especially people you get close to. you and Sam share a bond, a trust on the battlefield, but the Sam you see when you get back is different. however, things are changing and maybe the two Sam’s aren’t so different after all. wc: 3.4k+ genre: a little angst, some fluff, confusion, protectiveness, reader can’t see things as clearly as Stephen Strange, that’s for sure.

He held you as if you were something ancient, endowed with power but still delicate enough to require a special touch, a touch that recognized the silent strength within its bones.

It was reassuring. 

You clutched onto him that much tighter despite the blood racing against your hand. You would have been more concerned if it weren’t for the fact that you were miles above the ground grasping against his chest for dear life.

Your legs tensed against his waist as you buried your head further against his neck. One of his arms stayed securely wrapped around you as he glided through the clouds, navigating through the smoke and clouds, wrapping the two of you in an invisible mist.

“Hey,” He breathlessly whispered against your cheek. “You good?” 

You nodded, keeping your eyes squeezed tight. 

A fear of heights never made any of this any better for you. You could barely accept the idea that you were up as high as you are.

Sam grunted a bit as he pushed both of you faster through the atmosphere. His suit whined a little in the strain of having only one wing to guide you but still held firm. Tony knew what he was doing with the upgrades.

“I’ve got you.” The words felt reassuring, but you didn’t bother to drop your death grip on his neck. “I’ve got you. I’m not letting you go.” 

You weren’t sure who he was trying to assuage more: you or him.

You cracked your eyes open for a second, just as he swerved slightly to avoid a heavy pocket of air, and saw the swirls of white and grey. Adrenaline shot through you, fresh and hot, but you kept your muscles locked. You wouldn’t squeeze him to suffocation, not up here where there’s nothing to catch you if you fell.

You squoze your eyes shut again, waiting till seconds felt like hours.

“We’re here.” He abruptly pulled up before gently lowering you two to the ground. He kept you tucked against his body, kneeling on the hard earth as his other arm circled around you. 

For a second, for just a moment, you were pressed so tight in his embrace that you were sure that his fear of losing you was just as real as your fear of having to let him go.

Then the moment was over and he was crumbling into fits of laughter, his default face of charms and smiles came back. Good old Sam.

Just like before, like basic training and initiation, running side missions with Sam and Bucky, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. He was always your guy, always there to get you if something went wrong, always coming to your aide if you called him, he was always around. Always smiling, always teasing.

And he knew you had him to.

If he needed anything, recon, an infiltration team, a scout or just a man on the inside, you were there. You were good.

And that’s why, even when everything was falling apart around you, you waited, you closed your eyes, and you trusted him to catch you as you jumped out of the building.

There he was. Just like always.

“That was insane.” His teeth shinned at you, dazzling you into silence just like so many times before. He watched your face freeze, distracted in nostalgia, and his own brightness dimmed slightly, his teeth receding like the slow crawl of the tide working its way back into the ocean. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” He stood up and you slowly unwrapped your arms from around him, finally noticing the vermillion streaking down your forearm.

You felt Sam tense for just a moment, his gleeful mask dissolving for just a second, before leading your charge inside the building. He moved fast despite the fact that you only landed seconds ago.

You, on the other hand, felt disoriented, and stumbled your way forward. It wasn’t the blood loss, or the dizziness from flight. It was something much deeper. Something that had everything to do with him.

Everything to do with the feelings that never went away but you always ignored.

You tried to brush aside the sucking void that appeared in your chest at the easy dismissal of his previous display, but it kept pulling at you, making you feel hollow in the middle.

It hurt. But you don’t need to admit that.

Just keep it in. Just keep it all contained until this is all over and then your void can devour anything it wants.

He led you through all the twists and turns before coming to stop at the medbay. Dr. Strange was in your path almost immediately after Sam hit the button. He’d been on special call for anyone hurt within the facility. 

Plus, you and the doctor had become good friends over the years. He taught you basic first aid and you were able to teach him about philosophy, ways to help him see the world and better himself.

It was an exchange of information, but not deceitful, not in exchange for money or for self-gain. It was equal and the company was always nice.

“Hello, (name).” Good to see you again,” He softly smiled in your direction. You forced your eyes to crinkle with the same amount of enthusiasm.

“Always a pleasure, Dr. Strange.” Your voice was calm, lovely even, as you responded. It betrayed none of the subtle agony you felt, nor the pain at the throbbing in your arm. It made your confidence strengthen and the void die down just a little.

He stepped over to you slowly, reaching out to take a look at your arm. “Debris in the arm?”

“Sam managed to pull me out before the building collapsed.” You spared a cautious glance in his direction, careful to manage the sucking pull of his eyes and the void within you. His stare was dark and...upset (out of character for him), before it immediately became ambivalent, balancing on the edge of nonchalance and subtle amusement.

It would have given you whiplash if you hadn’t been trying to keep your face as neutral as possible.

“Lucky girl,” Stephen smirked at you while gently tugging on your arm and pulling you along into the examination room. He looked past you, right to Sam.“I’ll take good care of her, promise.” 

Your heart lept for a second. 

Stephan looked down at you and winked before glancing back at Sam. “Do what you have to do. I gotta get back anyway.” His voice sounded cheerful, but the develivry of the response held something deeper, something more hidden and protective. He paused for a moment and the silence made you turn in his direction. His gaze was warm and gentle, but if you closely, just beyond it, there was a wall of steel. “I’ll be back.”

You heard his receding footsteps before Stephen closed the door.

“What was that about?” You sat up on the table as Stephen began examining your arm, working around the blood and dirt.

He scoffed. “We’ve talked about this before, (name).” He poured alcohol over your wound and a hiss left your mouth involuntarily. He pressed a towel against the exposed skin and waited for the bubbling to stop before moving on. “He would have stayed here if I hadn’t said you were okay.”

Why?

You were talking about the same Sam, weren’t you? The Sam who was a massive flirt, who couldn’t be tied down to anyone? Sam, who was always so carefree and flirty, who didn’t have to time for anyone else in his life? That Sam?

Or the other Sam? Reliable Sam. Dependable Sam. The Sam who always had your back.

Because that Sam only existed during battle, when everything was going left and the trust you needed to put in each other was stronger than his need to be witty. 

But the Sam that came back was always different. It always stung a little. The Sam you came back with would go out and forget about you. 

And you couldn’t forget about him.

The void grew bigger.

“We can’t be talking about the same person.” Your tone was grounded in defeat. You’d already fought this battle with yourself, you knew what your decision was.

“Oh,” He grinned. “But we are.”

You shook your head. “You got this all wrong. He doesn’t care that much. He saved me, that’s his job after all. That’s what we do during missions, that’s who we are. When we get back it’s always different.”

“If he was just saving you, why do you think he brought you here?” Stephan’s hands were fast as he wrapped up your arm. You’d been so distracted talking about Sam that you hadn’t noticed when he’d removed the glass from your arm. “He would have put you on the street if you were just another citizen, if it were just another mission.”

“Right,” You rolled your eyes before Stephen set your arm down. “Like that actually means anything. I’m an agent; it’s only right that I’m here.” Everyone was pretty much gone anyway. It makes sense he brought you here.

“Oh?” He smirked as he turned to put the supplies away. “You and Sam were pretty close when he brought you in. Almost glued to the hip.” The first aid kit shut with a loud click. The next sentence makes you question if he’s been watching your interactions properly. He’s done it before, “for research” he claims. “He watches you a lot. If he’s not physically close to you, his staring more than makes up for it.”

“Dr., don’t say all of this to make me feel better. I know when I’m not really wanted. He’s just being good ol’ Sam. It doesn’t really mean anything.”

“Are you saying this because you truly don’t believe that he cares or that you don’t think that anyone could possibly care about you like this?” His stare is deep and hard. He’s not upset necessarily, but he’s frustrated and you know better than to lie to him.

“To be honest,” you sigh and massage your fingers, aching from holding onto Sam’s suit, aching from not being able to hold onto him. “I’m not sure anymore.”

And if your sad eyes gives him any pause, Stephen pushes through it. He comes over and squeezes your hand. 

“Listen kid, lord knows that I’m not good at any of this stuff.” He places the back of his hand against your cheek, a soft tap of affection. “But I do know that you deserve to be happy. Allow yourself that much.”

Your throat hurts from trying to push back the heartbreaking agony in his words, but you manage to nod, touching his hand gently in return.

The void still threatens to suck you in, but it doesn’t feel as indomitable as it did before.

…

“Where’d you go?” Bucky grunts through the radio as he knocks out his assailant, watching Sam come gliding down out of the sky.

“I had to grab someone.” He mentions in passing as he sets down on the ground. He pulls out his own gun and puts down a few more guards. 

He catches Bucky’s smirk from out of the corner of his eye. His own gaze darkens and he’s unable to check the deep warning in his tone before the words come out. “Don’t say anything.”

“Wasn’t going to, flighty.” 

“Call me flighty one more time and I’ll throw you off the bridge.”

He chuckles before swinging around Sam’s side and shooting another enemy with their gun aimed at Sam. 

Sam pauses for a second, shooting two quick glances over in Bucky’s direction. 

“Thank me later.” Bucky smirked at him with a spark and charm that Sam would have usually given him. Sam clamps his jaw down to avoid saying anything. “I’m sure a special someone would appreciate it.”

“When we get through this, remind me to never give you rides anywhere ever again.”

“Oh no,” he said in fake seriousness. “Who am I gonna call now?”

“Shut up.” Sam said stiffly, thinking briefly to you and Stephen’s knowing assurance. How many people knew how he felt? He didn’t even know how he felt. He didn’t know why your call over the radio made him as nervous as he felt or why he’d abandoned Bucky suddenly. 

He just knew he needed to get to you.

Just like all those times before. He needed to be there. He needed you to know that you could trust him, with anything. Just like the confidence and trust that you’d given him.

You hadn’t sounded frightened — no — you sounded reserved. And reserved scared him a lot more than frightened did.

And so he was there, just before you were sucked down into the collapsing building.

Now, he just wanted to get out of this so he could get back to you. Surprisingly, although the thought scared him more than he wanted to admit — it’d been a while since Sam was willing to really settle in one place — he just wanted to get out of the field for just a moment, just to know you were safe before he moved on.

Even then, moving on wasn’t going to be easy. He didn’t let himself think hard about that.

Sam shook his head slightly before getting back into focus. He still had a job to do.

Bucky’s eyes narrowed, harrowing with laser focus as a plan formulated in his mind. “I’m pushing that building, there’s still people inside. Can you keep the sky clear? I really don’t want to be hit by shells while I’m moving people.”

“On it.” Sam jetted off into the sky, eyes peeled, ready to shoot down anything that would stand in the way.

…

Sam tried to keep his pace at a normal speed, but failed. 

Bucky noticed. 

They exited the quinjet back at base and Bucky picked up his pace to match Sam’s quicker clip. “I’ll debrief. You do what you need to do.”

Sam didn’t really care what he said.

Bucky knew better than to demand a response. He was always like this when it came to you.

Sam made it to the medbay and he paused for a moment, expecting you to be there resting at least. When you were nowhere to be found, Sam swallowed down his rising anxiety.

He moved around the corner, looking for someone around to ask where you’d gone. When he’d seen the red cape, he knew he’d found exactly who he was looking for. 

“Sam,” He greeted, sitting and pouring over a text. “I trust that everything went well.”

“Something like that.” He compromised in response. “Where’d (name) go? Is she alright?”

Stephen nodded absentmindedly. “She’s fine, just needed a few stitches and a bandage. The last time I talked to her, she went out.”

“Out?” Sam worked to school his face into a neutral state despite the rising anxiety bubbling up in his core. He wasn’t overjoyed at the idea of you going out by yourself, especially after just sustaining an injury. “Where?”

“I’m not sure, Sam. But I assure you, she’s more than capable of taking care of herself. She just probably needs a break. Thinking you might die in a crumbling building isn’t something you just bounce back from.” Sam processed the information and slowed down, searching for an answer, a rational explanation of going after you.

Dr. Strange sighed before giving up this as a solution. “I’d wait. She’ll be back soon.”

Sam nodded, unable to come up with anything that would vindicate him from further suspicion. But just like how he’d almost promised you that he’d return, he’d be patient until you came back.

“Shawarma?” Stephen held out a paper towel. Sam looked cautiously, not sure if he really trusted what he was offering. He looked at him with a guarded expression before removing a glove and grabbing it out of his hand. 

“Thanks,” Sam said, still in the middle of deciding whether he should eat it or not. “I guess.”

…

You waltzed back to the compound at the call of Stephen who rang you while you were out getting coffee. He’d sounded amused despite the seriousness of his words. 

You didn’t bother rushing back to the office.

Whatever Stephen had going on, he could wait another thirty minutes as you made the walk back up the forested street back to the compound. Your wrap served as a constant marker of what happened, how your life was almost ripped from your clutches. You tried to ignore it now, but the white of the wrap consistently caught your attention.

You huffed in frustration as you worked back to the medbay. What in the world could be wrong now? You didn’t really want to relive the experience of nearly crying in his examination room.

You needed time to absorb it all.

“Stephen, what’s going on?” 

You came to a stop behind his chair. Stephen only turned slightly to look at you. “Sam’s waiting for you.”

“Sam?” You scoffed and sipped your coffee. “Like he’d come looking for me. He’s got a debrief, not to mention plenty of other things to do in the meantime.”

“Well, he came here looking for you. Thought you might want to know.”

Disappointingly, you did kind of want to know. You pretended to be annoyed, asking F.R.I.D.A.Y his location in the driest voice you could possibly muster. 

When she directed you to his rooms, you pushed down the jolt of surprise and kept your expression neutral as you turned out the examination room and down the hallway.

…

“Sam?” You knocked gently on the door, the anxiousness you felt earlier steadily rising as you waited outside. Maybe coffee wasn’t the smartest idea. “It’s (name). Stephen said you were looking for me.”

You took a few deep breaths, nearly resting your forehead against the door. Your nerves were jittering now, climbing to a fever pitch.

When Sam swung the door open, you nearly fell straight into him. You straightened as quickly as you could, clearing your throat and swallowing abruptly.

“Hi.” You said, meeker than usual.

Sam’s eyes glowed for a second before he found his usual charm, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed. “Greetings.” You almost swore his voice was deeper than usual.

You looked at him expectantly, waiting for an explanation. He just stared back.

You sighed, dropping your head and turning slightly away. This was stupid. “Well, he said you asked for me, but, if you don’t have anything to say, I’ll go.”

“Wait.” He reached out to you for a second before inching his hand slowly backward. “How’s your arm.”

“Fine.” You responded. It was throbbing more than before, but you figured the pain would linger for some time, despite the pain meds. “It should be a little while before I can take it off though.”

Sam nodded. “Good.”

You both stood in a tense silence again, just staring at each other for a moment. 

“Okay, well, if that’s all…” You took a couple steps away from him, moving down the hall.

“(name)?” 

You turned slowly, sparing a small smile in his direction. “Yes, Sam?”

“If, perhaps,” He tilted his head with a smirk. “I knew this place downtown….”

Your heart leaped into a gallop.

“And I asked you to join me, would you say yes?” His eyes did the soft twinkly thing and your heart melted.

Maybe this wasn’t such a stupid idea. 

Maybe your Sam, that Sam that was always there in battle, didn’t actually disappear when you came home.

“Maybe…” You drawled out, slowly stepping closer to him until you’d slipped your hands into his, feeling his warmth stabilize yours. Maybe the good doctor was right. You deserved this, you deserved happiness. And if Sam was willing to take that chance on you, just another agent, then why not take a chance on him. “Depends on how you ask.”

Sam grinned for a moment. “(name), will you do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner tomorrow evening?”

You hid a smile before leaning up to kiss him on the cheek, staying by his shoulder while your arms wrapped around him in a hug. Sam’s arms pulled you close, holding on tightly. 

It felt like you were flying, but not anything else like your first experience in the air. You weren’t afraid now like you were then. You felt safe, calm, like you were in control.

You were soaring on something much stronger than air. Hope.

“I’d love to, Sam.”

He grasped you tighter as he picked you up and spun you around, your laughs joining together in bliss. And when he set you down, his eyes sparkled like a thousand suns and for the first time in a while, you were ready to let yourself fall.

Because this Sam, your Sam would catch you. Always.

[stolligaseptember]

Law School Bangers - The songs that have gotten me through these last 4,5 years

i. keep you on my side - chvrches // ii. what you do to me - don broco // iii. is she with you? - hans zimmer feat. junkie xl // iv. something to believe in - young the giant // v. pierre - ryn weaver // vi. villainy - local natives // vii. are we ready? (wreck) - two door cinema club // viii. everybody - don broco // ix. send them off! - bastille // x. immortals - fall out boy feat. black thought and b wheezy // xi. worship - years and years // xii. sudden death (omg) - tyler glenn // xiii. you and i - pvris // xiv. lightning parade - secret company // xv. restless - cold war kids // xvi. mud blood - loïc nottet // xvii. faint of heart - the strike // xviii. wonder woman’s wrath - rupert gregson-williams // xix. praying - kesha // xx. winter - pvris // xxi. ride - thomston feat. sachi // xxii. take you down - daniel pemberton // xxiii. light the way - mikky ekko // xxiv. kamikaze - walk the moon // xxv. twisted - missio // xxvi. stay frosty royal milk tea - fall out boy // xxvii. in the name of love - alcazar // xxviii. cringe - matt maeson // xxix. miracle - chvrches // xxx. hallucinogenics - matt maeson // xxxi. need nothing - vérité // xxxii. hunger - florence + the machine // xxxiii. under the ladder - mélovin // xxxiv. amsterdam - nothing but thieves // xxxv. all for you - years & years // xxxvi. the distance - aly & aj // xxxvii. forever & ever more - nothing but thieves // xxxviii. moment’s silence (common tongue) - hozier // xxxix. legend - the score // xl. youngblood - 5 seconds of summer // xli. stronger - the score // xlii. on fire - loïc nottet // xliii. half man half god - don broco // xliv. all the rage - allie x // xlv. when am i gonna lose you - local natives // xlvi. casanova - allie x feat. vérité // xlvii. spectral friends - maraton // xlviii. doom days - bastille // xlix. 6 inch - beyoncé feat. the weeknd // l. robbing banks - autoheart // li. soldi - mahmood // lii. rich, white, straight men - kesha // liii. my heart’s grave - faouzia // liv. rainbow dragon - keiynan lonsdale // lv. better than that - sub-radio // lvi. middle finger - bohnes // lvii. death stranding - chvrches // lviii. fight - normandie // lvix. raising hell - kesha feat. big freedia // lx. nightmare - pvris // lxi. guts - thomston // lxii. candy - loïc nottet // lxiii. our youth - all the rest // lxiv. jackboot jump - hozier // lxv. 2late - american teeth // lxvi. alone - josef salvat

[loyolafilmcircle]

“There was an idea...”

by Renzo Guevara

edited by Anna Cayco

Avengers: Infinity War (2018) is the 19th film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), a franchise that has been relatively consistent in terms of quality and vision for the last 10 years. It’s the massive culminating event that has constantly been set up with the three phases of movies with each of the individual heroes’ adventures leading up to this film.

But Marvel’s massive reputation and cultural impact was not as prominent as it is today. They sold some of their most recognizable characters’ movie rights to other companies such as the X-men and the Fantastic Four to 20th Century Fox and Spiderman to Sony. Their first movie, Iron Man (2008) was a risk to say the least. The concept of an Avengers movie was merely just a thought but never an actual legitimate vision. A fun little innocent scene was placed at the end of the credits, showcasing Samuel L. Jackson’s now iconic character Nick Fury showing up to talk to Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark about the Avengers initiative. Conversations about this scene grew until Marvel Studios revealed its plan to produce more superhero movies to lead up to an Avengers film. Thus, the MCU was born.

The first real culminating event was 2012’s Avengers directed by Joss Whedon. To say that the film was a success is an understatement compared to how exactly fans and critics responded to it. It featured breathtaking action sequences, entertaining interactions between the characters and a carefully crafted three-act structure that successfully combined all the elements that were set-up during the standalone movies. Included in Phase 2 was its sequel, Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), which featured new characters such as Scarlett Witch, Quicksilver and Vision. Unlike its predecessor, it was met with mixed reactions between the audience and critics. Some commended it for the sheer spectacle on display and seeing our heroes assemble again but in time people soon accepted the fact that the film had a disjointed narrative, a disappointing villain and a few unlikeable characters.

Regardless, these first two Avengers films successfully assembled the heroes and characters we’ve all come to love. It’s not wrong to say that some of us may have garnered some sort of attachment to them that naturally makes us care for what happens throughout the series, especially in Infinity War where stakes are at an all-time high with talks of possible permanent deaths and ending of contracts of certain actors.

What could possibly have created this attachment to this universe is how these movies always tried to set themselves apart not just in their tonality also in the production behind it. The directors the studio hired were not your typical action filmmakers but were more story, character and comedy focused. And it’s also not uncommon to see the MCU go with the recent trend of giving blockbuster projects to directors who mostly made a name for themselves in the indie scene or in television. Filmmakers Anthony and Joe Russo, who were mostly known for the TV series Community (2009-2015), were hired for Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) and then for Civil War (2016). Both films were met with commercial and critical praise. With engaging plots that were grounded in reality setting it apart from the rest of the MCU, it was a clear choice for Feige to call upon the Russo brothers again to work their magic. And boy did they deliver with Infinity War.

The 3rd Avengers film features an incredible roster of every hero that has been established alongside the Guardians of the Galaxy. This feat has been so monumental in scale and scope that it has often been regarded as the most ambitious crossover event in cinematic history and if I’m being completely honest, it definitely earns that title.

Immediately, the film starts off incredibly strong with the chilling rightful introduction of the main event, Thanos. Gone are the days of post credit setups or small cameos, here we are placed face to face with him alongside his team who are not to be messed with. Thanos as a villain is truly an achievement for the film. You would think that him being a purely CGI creation would make him feel weightless and absent but that’s far from the case. Josh Brolin gives a hauntingly calculated performance that was beautifully motion captured as real emotions were seen, and true terror was felt whenever he was on screen. The MCU has always faced criticism about its villains but recently they have been nailing it in that department especially with Thanos. When people say that Infinity War is a Thanos movie instead of an Avengers one, it’s a valid statement to say. This is ultimately Thanos’ story and the Avengers are simply background characters. Some could even look at them as the real antagonists of the story as Thanos’ actions may be grim but once you deconstruct his motivations, they actually present a proper argument to a certain extent.

A massive cast is something that’s unavoidable with this being a culmination of 10 years’ worth of movies. At times, the film, struggles with the weight it has to carry as it tries to give each character their own individual adventures that all come down to stopping Thanos. Despite this, it doesn’t feel overly bloated. Each of the heroes get a decent amount of screen time. Some may shine more than others, but this can easily be forgiven given that this is technically a two-part storyline and the film was already nearly three hours long.

Considering the run time, the film is still a rollercoaster ride that rarely lets you take a breather. Just from the very first shot all the way to the last you will be left speechless and in pure state of either awe or shock. If in previous MCU movies, the stakes were rarely felt and a sense of danger was minimal, Infinity War turns this over your head and whacks you with it continuously. I wouldn’t say that there were certain throwaway scenes that could’ve been left on the cutting room floor but there were definitely some moments where I was more invested in than others. This can mainly be due to personal attachments to certain characters or just a simple desire to get back to the action. Character moments between our heroes are highly entertaining with the filmmakers and writers taking advantage of each of their quirks and antics that play off of each other. But what’s more impressive is that in its core, the identity of its characters remains intact. When the Guardians are on screen, it feels like a Guardians movie and so on.

But it’s also worth noting that some characters may not act the way we were accustomed to them in their solo movies. This should be expected given the difference of directors and writers and visions towards what and who they are. None were too different to the point where it’s a complete 180 of a character trait but just subtle enough to be noticed a bit or can be argued as part of their arc.

The action sequences in Infinity War are spectacle in its purest form. The Russo brother’s first two films in the MCU, The Winter Soldier and Civil War both contained amazing action scenes but most of them would regularly use quick jump cuts and an overly reliance on shaky and handheld camera work. Infinity War is arguably their first “fantastical” movie as their previous projects in the Captain America franchise were mostly grounded in reality. Thankfully they improved their craft in this one utilizing mostly wide shots and steady cams. The fight choreography and the breathtaking visual effects that supplement them invoke an epic feeling that is so much more emphasized with the familiar iconic score of the Avengers theme. One moment in particular near the climax had all these elements come together to create one bombastic moment that had the entire theater screaming in delight.

On the topic of the Avengers theme, Alan Silvestri’s score for this film also deserves much praise for what it accomplished. Although it should be expected given that the Avengers score is one of the most recognizable themes today, Silvestri’s new pieces in this film are as memorable and impactful as the scene themselves. The action sequences are injected with auditory adrenaline rush coupled with the masterful sound design and mixing but even the slower, more emotionally driven moments in the film contain some of the best scores to come out of the MCU.

All in all, it really was incredible to witness the development of the MCU franchise from its humble beginnings with Iron Man all the way down to Infinity War. All the stories the directors have told and all the elements they had to set up all coming into fruition in this one epic cinematic event. The Russo brothers deserve all the praise they could get for accomplishing this monumental task. Many have tried and failed to launch a cinematic universe such as the DCEU or Universal Studio’s Dark Universe, but it’s with the MCU that truly believes in its own vision and in the stories they tell.

All the beats in Infinity War hit when they need to. Wonder and spectacle alongside tension and emotion jell together for one massive sweep that generally satisfies majority of the hype that developed over the years. A global cinematic event that deserves to be seen and a proper payoff to all those years of excellence. Infinity War is definitely up there with the best of the MCU and it cements itself as one we would be talking about years down the line. The future of the franchise looks bright and with the continuation of the storyline scheduled to release next year, it’s only a matter of time till we see our favorite heroes assemble once again.

Photo sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6

[bby-calum]

the stories so far - masterlist

(* = 300+ notes)

(^ = smut)

Ben Hardy

- Used to This (part one) (part two)

☞ you’re reunited with your old friend, Ben Hardy, at a mutual friend’s wedding. enjoying each other’s company, you start to feel something more than your usual friendship between you both.

Calum Hood

- Thunderstorm Confessions (x)

☞ you haven’t seen him in two months. when he shows up on your doorstep in the middle of the night during a terrible thunderstorm, he’s injured after being mugged, and his heart hurts as badly as his body does.

- Romantic* (x)

☞ calum is madly in love with you

- More Than Friends (x)

☞ calum doesn’t want to be just your friend anymore

- The Bridesmaid^ (x)

☞after meeting at Michael and Crystal’s wedding, Calum takes a liking to one of the bridesmaids, and a hot night of pleasure ensues

- Family Man (x)

☞calum loves his growing family

- Real Housewives (x)

☞you, a star of Real Housewives, attend a dinner party with your husband Calum. things get heated and Calum storms out after an argument

Shawn Mendes

- The First Time^* (x)

- Dad!Shawn series:    

 ☞ Broody* (x)

 ☞ Bump* (x)

- The Lonely Wedding Guest (x)

☞ Shawn watches his ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend jealously as they attend the same wedding

- Unexpected (x)

☞ You and Shawn get into a heated argument in public. You’re sick of him prioritising his work over you, but he insists it’s all for a good reason. Has he pushed you too far?

- Eight Years (x)

☞ Shawn and y/n have worked together since they were both nineteen. When y/n leaves to pursue other ventures after eight years, Shawn is lost without her and finally realises his true feelings.

- All These Years (x)

☞inspired by All These Years by Camila Cabello. Shawn runs into you backstage at an award show, your first meeting since your breakup a few years ago.

Peter Parker

- Scars (x)

Tom Holland

- “You look cute with a baby bump!”* (prompt) (x)

- “Sit in my lap.” / “Really? Right now?” (prompt) (part one*) (part two*)

- Tulips (x)

- “We’re just friends.” / “What if I told you I’ve been in love with you since I was eleven?”* (prompt) (x)

- Love Me Now* (x)

- We’ll Try Again* (x)

- “I think I forgot how to breathe.” / “Shut up and kiss me.”^* (prompt) (x)

- I Have Questions (part one*) (part two) (part three)

- Gingerbread Syrup (part one) (part two) (part three)

- “Can I kiss you?”* (prompt) (x)

- “I’m...uhm...I’m pregnant.”* (prompt) (x)

Harrison Osterfield

- Jealous^* (x)

- Dog Walks and Happy Thoughts (x)

- “Bite me.” “If you insist.”^* (prompt) (x)

- “You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.” / “You’re my soulmate?!”* (x)

- Late Night Loving^* (x)

- One More?* (x)

- Turbulence* (x)

- Glasses^ (x)

- Sucker (x)

☞ harrison is a sucker for you - loosely based of Sucker by Jonas Brothers

Bucky Barnes

- The Winter Soldier (part one) (part two)

- A Broken Promise (x)

- I Can’t Live Without You (x)

- PTSD* (x)

- Gone (x)

☞ an old friend comes to visit and his shocking revelation leaves you feeling lost

[superfandomdqueensnook]

Do You Know Who I Am? (Bucky Barnes x Female!Winchester!Reader) Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A/N: I’m sorry this took like two months. I’ve been trying to get the next part done, but writer’s block been killing me with no ideas. @sgtbxckybxrnes . Tay is my wonderful beta for this. Thank you, you’re amazing.

Warnings: Not any far as I could tell.

Word count: 879

The Asset could hear someone singing. Their voice was soft, in-key, and in-time to the music in the background. The person was a woman, she was wearing her hair in a braided bun on top of her head, a black tank top, cotton shorts, and black high tops with a blue, silver, and bronze eagle emblem. She is beautiful, as well as her voice. What is a Ravenclaw?

I can’t stop this feeling (Ooga Chaka Ooga Ooga)

Deep inside of me (Ooga Chaka Ooga Ooga)

Girl, you just don’t realize (Ooga Chaka Ooga Ooga)

What you do to me (Ooga Chaka Ooga Ooga)

The volume on the music was turned down, “It’s rude to stare.”

“Sorry,” the Winter Soldier mumbled.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, gumdrop.” The Soldier’s cheek burned from the endearment. The chopping sound stopped, she turned, putting the knife down. Beautiful Y/E/C orbs. Pretty. “There’s a bathroom down the hall to the right. On the coffee table to your right is a set of clothes for to change into. Take your time. Breakfast will be ready when you’re done.” Turning back to the counter, picking the knife up, “What would you like to eat?”

“Thank... you.. for... clothes…. Um.. I.. don’t.. kno.. wha.. I.. can.. eat..”

“Can I at least know your name?”

“Do... you... kno.. wo.. I am?”

“You’re the bloke that broke into my friend’s cabin and almost bleed out on her couch.” He could her scraping a knife against something wooden and the sizzle of food in addition to the smell of it cooking. The smell was almost overpowering. Sitting up, he realized that there was an afghan covering him, slightly nauseous, swinging his body and his feet touched the floor. Slowly standing, his body refused to listen to him, swaying slightly, taking a step. Suddenly he falling forward then wasn’t. The woman caught him.  

“*падение для меня уже сахара.” She smirked as his blush deepened. “*Конечно вещь кукла.” Now it was her turn to blush.

“Good to know you have sass.” Her smirk falling slightly into a concentrated look as she manhandled him around so she was on his right side becoming his crutch. “I’ll help you get to the bathroom.”

Handing the set of clothes to him, the thought of why she had men’s clothing piqued what was left of his curiosity, “Why.. do.. you.. have.. men’s.. clothing?”

“I stole my brothers’ clothing. I enjoy wearing them. Lucky for you, they happen frigging Sasquatches.”

He nodded, she started to maneuver them from the couch he had slept on to the end of it. “Sasq-q-quatches?”

Turning her head towards him with funny look on her face, “Yeah, they’re tall and muscular. Apparently, they’re not the only ones. You never told your name?”

“I… I-” Cutting him off, she stated, “If it’s easier for you, we speak to each other in Russian.”

“*Спасибо, g-g-gum-d-drop.”

“*Где еще это имя твое?”

“*Я был вызван актива.”

“The Asset? That’s a terrible name. Is there something else I can call you?” The beautiful lady was frowning. The Asset had the irrational urge to smooth out the wrinkle between her eyebrows.

“Bucky.” Her frown was replaced with a smirk.

“Bucky, alright I can do that. Buckster.” They were in the bathroom. The floor was tiled, with log walls, a white sink to the left with a mirror above it, the toilet next to the sink, opposite wall of the to the sink had a cupboard with towels and soap in it, a place to hang the towel next to the cupboard, opposite to the door was the tub/shower. Setting the Soldier gently -Why is she so gentle with me?- on the toilet. Running water into the tub, Y/N stood up, taking the clothes from the Ass-Bucky, setting them next to the sink. Going to the cupboard and opening it, “What kind of soap do you like?”

“*Я не знаю. Я ничего не помню.”

“An amnesiac than. Alright, that’s fine, I find something you might like. Ah here!” Pulling back, she turned showing her new-found treasures, a soft, plush, brown towel and- ”Coconut shampoo, conditioner, and body wash with the addition of a loofah.”

“*Как вы их использовать?”

“The shampoo goes on top of your head and massage it in, the conditioner goes near the bottom, body wash you use it to wash the grime off your body parts, and you use the loofah with the body wash.”

Turning to the tub again, she set down the soaps and loofah on the edge of the tub, and shut off the water. “Is that all?”

The Soldi-Bucky nodded. She smiled, headed out the door, stopping partially out of the bathroom, she turned, “By the way, my name’s Y/N Winchester. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

With that she shut the door, leaving Wint-Bucky alone with his thoughts while he cleaned himself up.

Russian Translations:

“*падение для меня уже сахара.” = Falling for me already, sugar.

“*Конечно вещь кукла.” = Sure thing, doll.

“*Спасибо, g-g-gum-d-drop.” = Thank you, g-g-gum-d-drop.

“*Где еще это имя твое?” = Now where is that name of yours/Where is thy name?

“*Я был вызван актива.” = I was called the/an Asset

“*Я не знаю. Я ничего не помню.”  = I don’t know. I don’t remember anything.

“*Как вы их использовать?” = How do you use them?

@iwillbeinmynest @sgtbxckybxrnes

[soldierwinterthe]

Can’t kill you if you’re already dead (Part Two)

Summary: You are an agent of SHIELD, and you’re “more than a friend” of Steve Rogers. During the events of Winter Soldier, Steve discovers that you were to know the identity of the Winter Soldier for a long time. Finally, you tell him the truth.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader (friendship)

Other characters: Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson

Warnings: Angst, mention of fight

Words Count: 2347

Feedback is always appreciated.

Part One

“Are you sure you want to come?”

“Yes, Steve. I’m sure.”

“Y/n..”

“Listen. I decided to tell you about my life because I wanted you to trust me. Now you can’t expect me to let you and the others fight against Hydra and Bucky, and I stay in a corner to do nothing. I come with you.”

Steve sighs as he ends up wearing the uniform; after finding out the final plan of Hydra - use the Helicarrier constructed by Shield to eliminate all their enemies - Steve, along with me, Nat, Maria Hill and Sam, we obviously decided to stop them.

I’m getting ready to prepare, when I feel two long arms wrap around my waist.

“Remember what I promised you?” Steve asks me, his face hidden in my hair.

“You promised we would have saved Bucky.” I reply, putting my back on Steve’s chest; I try to have a quiet voice, but the supersolder immediately understands that I’m worried. He turns me over to him, and taking my face between his hands, Steve blue eyes meet mine.

“Are you afraid that I don’t keep the promise?”

I sigh, and I cross my arms to my chest, thinking what to say; if I’m scared of the mission? Hell, no. It’s not the first mission I participate, and it will not be the last. I’m taking part in, that’s for sure.

But this time I know it’s different; before, I was alone, I had no one to my side. That I.. loved.

“I’m just afraid to lose someone important.”

“Bucky will be fine.”

“Steve, I’m talking about you.”

Steve is surprised by my words but smiles, and his cheeks tingle red; I smile, satisfied with the effect I make to him. I am happy with his reaction, maybe this means I’m really important to him.

Steve’s hands touch my face, and his soft lips press on mine; I immediately opened my mouth to give him access, colliding our tongues.

Steve’s hand shakes my hips, while the other hand sits behind my back.

“I lost Bucky, my only friend. I don’t want to lose even the one.. I love.”

I swallow as I say these words; even if indirectly, it’s the first time that I say to Steve that I love him. The seconds pass, but it seems to me that hours and hours pass; Steve was silent, not saying a word, and I begin to regret the words I said. Maybe for him I’m important, but not so much to love me.

Suddenly, Steve pulls me back against his body, and embraces me. My body relaxes against his, but I’m still not calm. I’m still scared.

“I love you.”

I look up, and instinctively I smile; I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his. I kissed him passionately, and he immediately returns.

“Y/n, Bucky will be fine. And I’ll be fine as well.”

“Y/n!”

The noise of the shootups and people struggling among them rumbles in the Helicarrier’s room. There is a big rumble, but I can still hear Sam’s voice in the distance calling my name. I turn and I see him surrounded by some men of Hydra, even too much for Sam.

A man comes quickly to me, and he disarms me, throwing my gun away from me. He and I begin to fight, but Sam is still in danger, and so I hit strong the man of Hydra, falling to the ground.

Without wasting time, I run to Sam, slipping with my knees on the ground, collecting my gun and shooting at three of the men surrounding Sam. Of the other two will easily occupies Falcon.

“Sam! Where’s Cap?”

“He climbed on the last Helicarrier to insert the chip; the other two are tampered with.”

“Can you bring me there?”

Without saying a word, Sam wraps an arm around my waist, and instinctively I hold on to him; it’s the first time I’m flying along with Sam, and I feel uncomfortable. As soon as my feet don’t touch the ground, I close my eyes; I can’t handle what’s happening around me, but I can feel the wind blowing my hair.

When I feel the ground again under my feet, I open my eyes, but the first thing I see in front of me is Bucky, who runs to me and Sam. I use my body as a shield to protect Sam, while the Soldier shakes his metal hand around my throat.

“B-Bucky.. please..”

I beg Bucky to stop; I say his name hoping something is clicked in him, as it happened the day before, but it doesn’t work. This only means one thing: Hydra has given him another brainwash. Bucky doesn’t even remember the day before he met me, or Steve.

The Soldier tightens his hand more and more around my throat; the sight becomes blurred, and I feel the breath fail me, but suddenly, my body falls to the ground. I take the big gulps of air to try to recover. I look up to see what’s going on, and I see the Soldier fighting Falcon, who tried to defend me.

Sam gets up in flight to get away from the Soldier and have an advantage over him, but a few yards from the ground, the Soldier grabs one of Sam’s armor wings and breaks it. After that, Sam falls to the ground, and when he tries to get up, the Soldier hits him with a kick, dropping Sam down from the Helicarrier.

“Sam!”

I yell his name, and I get up from the ground to see if Sam is fine, if he has managed to cling to something; he can’t be dropped down. He can’t be..

I am discovered, there is no one who helps me, and the last thing I see, is the Bucky’s metal hand hit my face. Then I lose my senses.

When I awaken, I don’t know how much time has passed since I became faint; I blink my eyelids to get used to the light, and when I know I’m better, I’m getting up from the ground.

“Sam? Sam.. please answer me..”

After a few seconds, I hear Sam’s voice in my ear.

“Y/.. I’m fine.”

I sigh, happy that he’s fine. I tell Sam to get safe, and then I warn Nat when I and Steve will need the helicopter to get away.

After looking around, I decide to get into the Helicarrier to look for Steve and Bucky. There is no one in the corridors; no Hydra agent comes to me trying to stop me.

“This is not my name!”

I hear someone screaming these words, and immediately, I understand who it is: the Soldier.

I get into Helicarrier’s main room and I see Steve trying to insert the chip to disable it, but behind him is the Soldier, striking Cap and dropping him down.

The Soldier strikes Steve, but the latter doesn’t react, he doesn’t defend himself. He doesn’t want to hurt his best friend.

“Bucky!”

I try to attract his attention, but it’s all worthless. Bucky is not there at this time. I have to use another method.

“Soldier!”

This time he looks up, and his ice-colored eyes meet mine. Although they are the eyes that I saw many years ago in that cell, those are not the eyes of my friend.

“You peaks one who doesn’t defend himself? Take it out on me; remember? I was an agent of Hydra, but I betrayed. I ran away. And I’ve become your mission, but you’ve never been able to get me.

I keep talking, while his face is turned into pure hatred; the plan to make him angry and come to me is working.

"You lost. You missed your mission, Soldier. Why don’t you take me? Finish your mission.”

The Soldier snaps, and getting up from Steve’s body, he runs to me. The Soldier launches a knife towards me, but it can only touching the arm; the cut is not profound and it doesn’t hurt. I and the Soldier begin to fight violently, and even though I can avoid his strikes, he’s stronger than I am; the Soldier takes me away, and clutching my arm with his metal, he turns, slamming my chest against a wall. I try to take him off, but I can’t, the weight of his body against mine is too heavy.

“My mission now ends with your death.”

The words of the Soldier make me shiver; I’ve never heard him talk like this, and hear him.. it’s horrible. He blows my head against the wall, and I feel the blood dripping over my face. After that, the Soldier scurries me to the ground, and suddenly, I feel a great pain in my leg: the Soldier broke it. I feel the creaking bones under the weight of the Soldier’s foot, and even if I don’t want to scream, I do nothing but feel my shouting rumble in the room.

“Enough Bucky!”

Steve’s behind the Soldier, and with his shield, he hits him straight to his chest; the Soldier walks away from me, and he turns his attention back to Steve. Suddenly, I hear explosions around us, and the Helicarrier begins to tremble; it’s going to fall. I close my eyes as I hear the noise of the fight between the two supersoldier; the blood has soiled most of my face, and noises begin to become increasingly faint, as if they were moving away more and more. I can’t stay awake, and for the second time, I fall into deep sleep.

“Y/n, wake up.”

Like a command, I open my eyes; the ceiling light initially annoys me, but after a few seconds, I feel comfortable again. I feel numb, and I can hardly move. The only thing I can do is turn my head, and close to me with a smile on her face - maybe because I woke up – there is Natasha.

“Hey, you finally woke up.”

“Yes, I thought..”

Natasha furrows, not understanding what I mean. I breathe deeply; perhaps the blow to the head caused me some trauma, and I was just dreaming.

"Y/n? Everything’s okay?”

“Um, yes. I thought.. I woke up because.. I heard Steve say to me.”

As Natasha hear me mention Steve, she looks down, and she swallows deeply. She tries not to let me know, but I immediately realize that something is wrong. I sit, and hold Nat’s hands between mine.

“Nat, where’s Steve?”

“Don’t worry. He’s fine..”

I breathe a sigh of relief; from the strange behavior of Natasha, I had thought of the worst.

“He’s here too. He has suffered many wounds, and has some broken bones, but he has managed to get out of the river.”

“How?” I ask to Natasha; meanwhile, I try to pull the threads attached to my arms.

“We believe it was… the Winter Soldier.”

I remain speechless; I knew it. At the bottom of the Winter Soldier’s heart, there is still a bit of goodness; there is still Bucky. He just needs help now, from his best friend, and from me. Bucky saved Steve, and we’ll do our best to save him.

Finally free of threads, I get up from bed; or at least, I try. Immediately, Natasha puts her hands on my shoulders, and pushes me back to bed, oblige me to stay.

“Where you going, Y/n?”

“I want to see Steve!” I say complaining. Right now, I look like a five year old girl, trying to break free from the grip of the mother.

“Absolutely not. You need to rest, Y/n. And even Steve. Close your eyes; I promise you that when he wakes up, I’ll tell you.”

I sigh, and knowing I have no hope against Natasha Romanoff, I nod, and I lie in bed.

After a while in silence, I close my eyes, and I fall asleep, hoping to see Steve’s face when I awaken.

“Do you think we can find him? I mean.. Bucky.”

I look up from the coffin - empty, of course - of Nick Fury, and my eyes meet those of Sam. I smile at him, and I put my hand on his shoulder.

“We’ll find him. A supersoldier, a spy, and a man with the coolest wings I’ve ever seen; we are a fantastic trio!”

Sam smiles, and then he looks at our two friends; I follow his gaze, and I see Natasha greet Steve with a kiss on his cheek. After she salutes me and Sam with a gesture of her hand, Nat goes away.

“Go to him. I wait here.”

I thank Sam with a smile, and after embracing him, I’m heading for my supersoldier. When I’m at his side, he smiles, and wraps his arms around my waist; suddenly, he looks down, and his face becomes serious.

“Steve..”

“I’m sorry.”

I frowned, confused by his words; I stay silent, waiting for him to keep talking.

“I.. I promised you that we would have saved Bucky, and instead..”

“Steve, look at me.”

Steve looks up at once, and his eyes of the color of the sea set my eyes, but they seem.. sad.

“Steve, we saved Bucky. The Hydra was eliminated, and the Winter Soldier no longer exists. Now we just have to find him.”

Steve nods, and finally on his face appear a smile, which also infects me. He’s still thinking about his ‘failure’, and so I try to change speech, thinking about what happened to me in the hospital.

“You know, when I was in the hospital, and I was sleeping.. suddenly, I heard a voice telling me to wake up. It was your voice.” I say to Steve smiling; it’s such a strange thing. I hope he doesn’t think I’m stupid.

Steve surprised me, approaching me to him, and he presses his lips against mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, and I hold him more to me.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“I think I’m in love with you too, Steve Rogers.”

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