#winter break come back daddy misses you...
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manomeansshark · 16 days ago
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I DONT WANT GO BACK TO SCHOOL I WANT TO DRAW MOOMIN YURI ALL DAY!!!!!
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innerempire · 2 months ago
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Peter starts calling Tony “daddy” as a goof. He means nothing by it (at first) because as Tony gets older, his concern towards the boy doubles (triples?). Checks in on Peter regularly during his first year in college and there’s this one time where Peter thinks he must have sounded so painfully homesick that Tony makes the trip down.
It’s sweet, even if Tony spends half the time bitching about the boy’s living conditions (really, it’s not that bad, Tony. You’re just bougie as hell). A week later, he comes back to his dorm to a couple of packages. There’s a bunch of fancy-sounding shit Peter can’t pronounce even if he wants to. Like, why the hell would he need a shaver that costs $500???? Or a complete set of toiletries that costs more than his Molecular Biophysics textbook? Or bedsheets that are so ridiculously soft and cool to the touch that it makes waking up for his 8am classes somewhat impossible?
There’s also a box that’s basically just snacks. Lots of it. Because Peter had complained about how the vending machine was always spoilt and the options meager.
So yeah, he thinks Tony’s got quite the soft spot for him even if he hides it behind his “yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Pete”.
He doesn’t think much of it when he sends the text: lol, a bit overboard, but thank you daddy 😉
Again, Peter had meant it as a goof because he knows Tony can get a little dramatic about his age.
Tony: What are they teaching you in college
Peter: What? I’m just expressing my thanks to an older man whom has posed to be quite the paternal figure in my life.
Peter: But yeah, seriously, thank you. The snacks are godsent. So is the new puffer jacket. But like, winter break isn’t for a couple of months yet?? And I don’t really need like, new pillows, but they’re really, really nice.
Tony: Daddy aims to please.
Peter laughs at the message, glad that the older male was playing along at least. He keeps it up for the next couple of months, Tony doesn’t tell him to stop.
Tony: What do you think about cornice ceiling designs?
Peter: what?? what’s a cornice
Tony: you know what, it’s probably a no for you.
Peter: okay. just googled it. why are you looking at ceiling designs?
Peter: are you renovating stark tower? again?
Peter: it’s rude not to reply because I can see that you’re online.
Tony: daddy’s in a meeting, baby. hush and I’ll text you later.
And Peter is…
floored.
Because baby? BABY? Was Tony confusing him for someone else? He rereads the message again, ignoring the tiny spark of heat at the endearment. He wonders if this is Tony’s way of fucking with him after all these months. He wouldn’t be surprised actually.
Peter: ok, no to the cornice btw.
He comes home for winter break and maybe he has missed Tony more than usual. It feels like they’re closer than usual, and if the rest of the Avengers notice that they’re chummier than usual, or how Tony is always in a visibly better mood whenever the boy’s around, no one’s saying anything (yet).
It’s chaotic when the team gets together and Peter’s trying to excitedly talk over Tony about something, cutting the older male off. Tony just clamps a hand over Peter’s mouth, and chides him playfully,
“Okay, baby, don’t interrupt when the adults are talking. Daddy taught you better than that.”
Peter’s words comes out muffled as he protests, not realizing that Steve and Scott are straight up gawking at them. Natasha doesn’t even seem fazed, holding her right palm up towards Clint and mouthing, “pay up, loser.”
Bucky basically goes, “Oh shit, so it’s like that, huh?”
“Well, considering the age gap and how they’ve always interacted, is it really that surprising?” Bruce muses out loud.
Peter peels Tony’s fingers away from his mouth, “Guys, what, no - we’re not-“ He glances at Tony for some help.
“Aw, cute. He’s looking at his daddy for help.” Natasha teases.
“So we’ve upgraded from “kid” to “baby”, huh?”
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minnies-puppydoll · 2 months ago
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Lucky’s KinkMas Event!
Join me for the 12 days of KinkMas with Twelve different filthy fics! 🐶
Take a look at the Menu!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•*.•*
12/01 ~ Snow Bitten •.*❄️
summary: you beg chan to play in the snow with you, but who knew it would be that cold? but don’t worry, he’ll always be there to warm up his favorite little girl.
tags: daddy kink, caretaker roles, praise, comfort, more coming soon….
12/04 ~ Gift Wrapped~*🎁
summary: what’s the best way to spend time with your lover if you aren’t tied up? minho found a new skill to teach his viewers, and you just so happen to be the test dummy.
tags: hard dom!minho, bondage, camming, vibrator, more tags soon….
12/07 ~ The Real Present . *💐
summary: you notice how stressed out changbin has been recently about christmas planning, and you just want to show him how much you appreciate him and give his beautiful body a break.
tags: body worship, cum eating, hickeys, more tags soon….
12/09 ~ Galaxy of Lights •*.🎄
summary: your boyfriend, hyunjin, takes you on a romantic date to see the christmas lights. but, while driving, he has so many words to say to you, and so many things he wants to do.
tags: car sex, semi-public, oral fixation, confessions, more tags soon….
12/11 ~ Goodnight Moon~*🌙
summary: your boyfriend, jisung, wants to stay up till midnight to see santa, but he needs something to keep him awake and occupied till midnight.
tags: cum eating, overstimulation, ruined orgasms, more tags soon….
12/14 ~ Red Nose}~*.•🦌
summary: a harmful argument with your lover, felix, ends in a flurry of words you both didn’t mean. you make up on christmas eve of all days, and your body can’t deny how much you’ve missed him.
tags: dacryphilia, facefucking, slight angst, degredation, more tags soon….
12/16 ~ Broken Toys >•<*.🐶
summary: you’ve been planning this scene with seungmin for a while, and when a secret present is given to you, he’s fully set on making sure you enjoy your christmas eve.
tags: mean dom! seungmin, puppyplay, slapping, more tags soon….
12/18 ~ Home for Christmas .*🚪
summary: you miss jeongin so much, he’s been away from home for too long on a travel job reporting overseas. when he comes back home unexpectedly, he takes back what he’s been missing.
tags: news reporter!jeongin photo exibitionism, pent up sex, more tags soon….
12/20 ~ Elf on the Shelf~*💫
summary: bangchan decides to bring over his friend to spice up your night, and seungmin decides to show him how it’s done.
tags: seungchan doms, facefucking, kinda gay, more tags soon….
12/22 ~ Christmas Cookie*•.•🍪
summary: you’re single, so your two best friends spend the night on christmas eve. jisung brung some films, and felix made some snacks, but both felt like they had alterior motives.
tags: aphrodisiacs, porn use, kinda gay, oral sex, more tags soon….
12/24 ~ Silver and Gold >•<*☃️
summary: your dom, lee know, is just helping his maknae lose his virginity, and you happen to be the testing doll he uses.
tags: leashes, hair pulling, instructed sex, more tags soon….
12/25 ~ Winter Studies•.*🌨️
summary: hyunjin needs some anatomy references, but he can’t draw while fucking you himself..so when changbin walks in on you modeling for his pictures, he figures it’s the perfect opportunity to get some muscle references too.
tags: exibitionism, very gay, messy asf, anal sex, more tags soon….
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drvscarlett · 8 months ago
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BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM
Alex Albon x Horner!Reader
Summary: Max Verstappen and Sebastian Vettel may be Christian's favorites. But Y/N Horner has her own favorites.
The Tortured Drivers' Department series
A/N: one of my favorite tracks and i hope i could give it justice. let me know what you folks think
Taglist. @tea-bobba @boiohboii @c-losur3 @haikyuen @stelena-klayley @stinkyjax @0710khj @jinimon-tr
I'll tell you something right now you ain't gotta pray for me Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy
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LittleMissY/N what a fun winter break bonding before the 2019 season starts. aren't we cute #GiveYouButterflyWings
PierreGasly the disrespect, my face is cut off after taking so many photos of you!!!
LittleMissY/N sorry not sorry PierreGasly Seb is also upset that you didn't even include him in that photo. LittleMissY/N tell the man to make an ig first.
MaxVerstappen33 why did the rookie get a solo shot before I did???
LittleMissY/N don't be jealous maxie, atleast you're still in the family mantle MaxVerstappen33 you are not slick Y/N tsk, im telling your dad LittleMissY/N respectfully, fuck off!
Alex_Albon it was nice meeting you Y/N!
LittleMissY/N its so good to meet you too alex :))) PierreGasly suspicious behavior!
User3 enjoy your time out there with the boys!
User5 anyone notices how Y/N is literally teasing everyone and then when it comes to alex she seems shy
User7 I smell a crushhhh User9 be for real, maybe its because alex is a rookie and Y/N didn't bond well with him yet.
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LittleMissY/N dad took me to work and not bad for a rookie!
ChristianHorner I'm not taking you to work again
LittleMissY/N don't you miss me?? i thought you missed me ChristianHorner not anymore LittleMissY/N too bad, im applying for a job in f1
PierreGasly are you even watching the race??
LittleMissY/N yeah, you missed the points lmao! PierreGasly i hate you
Alex_Albon not a really good start for me but I'll try better next time!
LittleMissY/N dont stress, you have plenty more opportunities to do well! I'll see you next GP? Alex_Albon of course, I mean I'm being paid to drive that car hahaha LittleMissY/N you're funny PierreGasly are you seeing this MaxVerstappen33 MaxVerstappen33 im dying out of laughter LittleMissY/N I'm gonna pay your mechanics to miss out a few screws
User5 she is so pretty!!! how come she is christian's daughter?
User7 I met her during FP1 and girlie is so in love with a driver
User8 i think we know why Y/N is coming around the races.
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Alex_Albon happy to get some points for today! My first in my rookie year!
User2 Amazing job today Alex
User3 Alex Albon, you make us all proud!!!
LittleMissY/N GET IN THERE ALEX!!!!! BLOODY AMAZING!!! SUPERB DRIVE!!!
Alex_Albon thanks Y/N, i can hear you shouting from Red Bull to Toro Rosso LittleMissY/N this is amazing news and everyone has to hear it!!!!!
User5 alex and Y/N are so cuteeee!!! Y/N is so excited for Alex's first points
User7 anyone else ships Y/N and Alex??
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F1Fans OOF! Albon suffers a big crash during the practice session in Shanghai. Do we think choosing Albon is the right choice for this season?
User1 nasty crash, too bad that he will be missing qualifying.
User2 c'mon be a little more lenient to the guy, shanghai is a difficult track
User3 should be sacked tbh
User4 why are they allowing albon to drive? he isn't that good.
LittleMissY/N oh get over yourself. i bet you can't even drive an f1 car even if you tried. Drivers crash every now and then, Alex Albon is a fantastic driver that's why Toro Rosso got him. This is just a bad weekend for him but I'm sure he will bounce back for the actual race. User7 my surprise when I realize that its actually Y/N Horner defending Alex Albon's honor User8 we love Y/N in this household.
User9 praying for a better race results for Alex
PierreGasly posted a story...
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LittleMissY/N replied: HOW DARE YOUUU???? WHO IS THAT RAT???
LittleMissY/N but tbh thats a genuine reaction. imagine starting from p20 and ending up into p10??? LittleMissY/N OH PIERRE QUIT IGNORING ME! LittleMissY/N i hate you so much
Alex_Albon replied: oh no, what happened to her??
PierreGasly your biggest fan has a bit of a teary moments. She is currently filling up my DMs with how much of an amazing driver you are Alex_Albon that's really nice of Y/N
MaxVerstappen33 replied: man Y/N is down bad
PierreGasly i knowwww MaxVerstappen33 christian just walked in to ask if Y/N has a crush on Alex PierreGasly its so obvioussss MaxVerstappen33 well except for alex lol
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GeorgeRussell63 with my best mate Alex_Albon !!
LittleMissY/N Well hello there georgie
GeorgeRussell63 hello miss Y/N Horner, what are you doing around here?? LittleMissY/N just saw you tag alex and figured i should say hi to his bestie GeorgeRussell63 im watching you LittleMissY/N ditto :))
Alex_Albon we look good there!
LittleMissY/N you look extremely handsome there Alex MaxVerstappen33 simppppp LittleMissY/N im gonna crash your car
User5 another bestfriends making it to formula 1 together
User7 its so funny how Y/N shows up in any tagged photos of alex, miss maam you are whippedt!!!
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LittleMissY/N I'm off to crash anyone who crashes him in the next race. Mark my words!!!!!!!! Still a great drive from AA, my favorite driver <3
Alex_Albon thanks so much for the support Y/N. No need to crash to anyone
LittleMissY/N okay but my offer will always stand
PierreGasly you are sooooo down bad
LittleMissY/N I'm going to put you down
User6 is Y/N, Alex's girlfriend.
User7 i think she likes him and alex is so oblivious User9 yeah, Y/N likes alex so much LittleMissY/N shut it.
User11 i just love how supportive she is with alex being a rookie and all
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ROOKIE ALBON DEFENDS Y/N HORNER.
In a recent interview, someone made a mistake of putting Y/N Horner in a bad light. Not to worry because Toro Rosso driver, Alex Albon is there to rescue. The whole thing starts with a simple question of what does Y/N contributes to the team to which Albon answers that Y/N is the social media manager. The interviewer made the mistake of commenting how anyone could do that job. This statement seems to anger the rookie as he defends her by listing down her educational achievements and how her role is important to the team. Albon refused to answer any question with that reporter and Christian Horner has placed an indefinite ban for his drivers to speak with the reporter.
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LittleMissY/N when he defends you:
PierreGasly i would have hit that reporter's face if i was there
LittleMissY/N awww pierre, i knew you always had a soft spot for me. PierreGasly only we (max, seb, danny, and me) can make fun of you MaxVerstappen33 facts! LittleMissY/N good to know
User4 red bull boys lining up to protect their princess
User5 i swear, aren't they together yet???
GeorgeRussell63 when did i consent being posted as a meme???
LittleMissY/N since you became my new bestieeeee GeorgeRussell63 i also don't recall consenting to that LittleMissY/N its only a matter of time before you accept it.
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LittleMissY/N gonna miss you so much pierreeeeeee anw time to transfer to red bull
User4 not the black and white photo
User5 its so weird to swap teammates in the middle of the season
PierreGasly dumbass.
LittleMissY/N I'll continue cheering you on always PierreGasly aren't you the sweetest? LittleMissY/N this is available for a limited time only
Alex_Albon thanks for the welcome again to RB maxverstappen33 LittleMissY/N
PierreGasly hey i gave you my seat, a little thank u would be great Alex_Albon thank you Pierre LittleMissY/N stop fighting alex, he is so kind PierreGasly oh c'mon!!!! MaxVerstappen33 mate, Y/N will always drop us for Alex. Dont forget that LittleMissY/N smartest person as ever Max
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Alex_Albon the car is feeling really good for my first race in Red Bull. Good race from p14 to p5!
LittleMissY/N PROUD OF YOU ALEX!!! THAT WAS AN AMAZING DRIVE
User1 i swear Y/N you have notifs on for alex Alex_Albon thank you Y/N!!!
User3 Alex really deserves to be moved up with that RB seat
User4 RB proving themselves to be a big challenge to Mercedes this year
User5 sucks that max dnf this race, just imagine the next race where they can be stronger!!!!
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LittleMissY/N i hate corona so much but im facetiming my bestfriend Alex and life seems a little bit better. Stay safe everyone
PierreGasly my beSTfrIend Alex
LittleMissY/N go to hell Pierre PierreGasly lolololollllll whippedt culture
User5 im pretty sure you miss the races as much as we do
LittleMissY/N for real but we have to make sure that its safe to race again
User5 queen Y/N!
User8 i love their little livestream on twitch every now and then. Its the best thing to pass time
User10 love you queen Y/N
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LittleMissY/N BACK TO RACING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!
Alex_Albon quite excited to support us again?
LittleMissY/N of course, im red bull's biggest fan! MaxVerstappen33 red bull fan or alex albon fan? LittleMissY/N its good for you to know your place luv
User7 ITS RACE WEEKEND!!!
User8 look at them wearing masks, you should all do that too
User9 i cant tell you how much i missed races
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F1Fans ICYMI, Checo Perez is getting that second Red Bull seat in 2021.
User1 wow checo??? congrats man!
User2 what about alex???
User3 im pretty sure a certain Horner is not happy with the decision User4 Im actually waiting for her reaction
LittleMissY/N AND THIS IS HOW I WILL FIND OUT????
LittleMissY/N you broke this family apart ChristianHorner LittleMissY/N BUT WHY???? User7 Y/N is just like us for real
User8 good riddance for albon, max needs a better teammate
User10 the only reason why albon has this seat is because Y/N Horner likes him a lot. LittleMissY/N everything that alex does is based on his pure talent. My dad won't even let me into meetings that's why im just as surprised as everyone regarding this decision. and fyi im gonna send this to my lawyers. User9 don't play with Y/N when it comes to alex.
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LittleMissY/N Grill the grid episode, the one where I made them cook for my birthday
ChristianHorner happy birthday dear
User1 happy birthday to our queen, i hope lando made something edible for you!
User3 look at Y/N's birthday full of red bull current, former, and reserve drivers
PierreGasly sorry I couldn't make it but happy birthday to my soul sister
MaxVerstappen1 hoping for more birthdays for you Y/N
Schecoperez happy birthday hermana!
CarlosSainz55 Happy birthday little miss Y/N
Alex_Albon Happy birthday Y/N, hope you like your birthday!
LittleMissY/N thanks alex <3 User4 everyone been commenting on her post but she only responded to alex User9 girlie u r so whipped!!!
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GeorgeRussell63 I wish you can get a seat next year mate
User5 i know, i think alex is wasting his potential being red bull's reserve driver
User7 right?? checo's chemistry with max is really good and i dont think christian will sacrifice that User8 i just want a decent team for alex
LittleMissY/N Are you cooking something georgie?
GeorgeRussell63 that depends, are you helping? LittleMissY/N for our common friend, absolutely User9 now what does this mean???? User10 anyone wanna tell me what's george and y/n conspiring together???
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F1Fans No news about Albon's contract in 2022 and today we have seen Albon talking with Christian. It doesn't seem like its about contract renewal.
User2 anyone wanna bet that Christian is talking to Alex about Y/N
User3 what is going on, where will Alex be in 2022
User4 if alex switches teams then would Y/N switch too?
User5 i mean she already did it with toro rosso and red bull User6 but this is like the same group. What if Albon goes to Mercedes or McLaren, would Y/N join there too?? User7 blood is thicker than water everyone User5 i dont think yall understand how much of a simp Y/N is that she can go anywhere Alex goes.
User9 i just want alex to be in an f1 seat in 2022.
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LittleMissY/N new hair, new color!
MaxVerstappen1 booooooooo!!! navy blue supremacy
LittleMissY/N i won't be taking any fashion advice from the man who literally wears only Red Bull merch. MaxVerstappen1 hey once upon a time you were always wearing our team merch especially when its no. 23 LittleMissY/N have fun crashing in the next race.
WilliamsRacing we like the color! Suits you!
User1 what is going onnnnn User2 i think alex is transferring to williams RedBullRacing im watching you
RedBullRacing we miss you queen!
LittleMissY/N aww, miss you!
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WilliamsRacing Albon joins Williams for 2022! He will be partnering up with Nicholas Latifi, who retains his seat.
LittleMissY/N LETS GO!!!!!! FINALLY, ALBON BACK IN AN F1 SEAT
User1 Trying to beat Y/N in commenting and liking first, failed.
User3 so this is what george and Y/N is cooking.
User8 goodluck to alex!!!
User7 hoping that this time around, he can stick around for the long run.
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Alex_Albon seas the day
User1 OMG BOYFRIEND ALEX????
User3 i think my bestie Y/N is crying somewhere rn
User4 i didn't expect alex has a girlfriend
User5 alex?? what are you doing?? this isn't Y/N
User7 have fun at your vacation alex!!!1
MaxVerstappen1 mate, who is she??
PierreGasly you should have warned us you were softlaunching someone
CarlosSainz55 congrats with the relationship bro!
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Alex_Albon exploring the city with her.
User5 she takes so good photos of alex!
User7 queen Y/N its been 36 days since you last commented
User8 i fear girlie is heartbroken User9 i hope Y/N is okay
User10 alex and his girl are so perfect together
MaxVerstappen1 who is she alex??? cmon answer your phone
PierreGasly I swear were not sent by Christian to ask about this new girl of yours
WilliamsRacing pretty girl for a pretty boy!
Alex_Albon indeed <3
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LittleMissY/N unbothered queen, so sorry for stabbing you GirlInRed
GirlInRed it hurts kind of little but anything for your therapy
User4 not Y/N fake stabbing someone because of Alex's girl
User6 this is so funny, Y/N
User8 so beautiful! you deserve better
MaxVerstappen1 well you know violence isn't always the answer.
LittleMissY/N oh really coming from you? MaxVerstappen1 cmon, I'll pick you up. Tell me where you are and lets talk LittleMissY/N i don't need to talk, im happy where i am
PierreGasly are you sure you're okay?
LittleMissY/N I have answered you a hundred times, im fine!!!!! PierreGasly Im still getting you ice cream LittleMissY/N awww pierre, you didn't have to
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Alex_Albon merry christmas everybody!
MaxVerstappen1 hold up, did i miss a chapter or something???
PierreGasly is this a joke or something???
User4 I thought you have a girlfriend???
User7 all along its Y/N??? IT WAS Y/N ALL ALONG?
User9 lucky lucky lucky
GeorgeRussell63 FINALLY! I have been laughing so much with all the conspiracy online
MaxVerstappen1 you knew and you never even told us??? LandoNorris mate why didn't you even tell me? I thought we are 2019 rookies trio Alex_Albon sorry mates, i just have to keep this a secret a little longer
WilliamsRacing what a happy couple, so can we post your photos now?
RedBullRacing she is still our girl WilliamsRacing i think you should ask her about that
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LittleMissY/N thankful for almost a year and a half with you
User4 what??? A YEAR AND A HALF???
User7 this is probably going on ever since Alex has moved to Williams
User8 my romeo and juliet!
ChristianHorner why am i not informed that it has been this long?
LittleMissY/N but daddy i love him :< ChristianHorner no. LittleMissY/N but what if im carrying his baby? ChristianHorner jesus christ, tell me you are kidding. LittleMissY/N i am but see it could be worse. i mean we just hid our relationship and not an entire family. ChristianHorner fine. invite him over and lets talk LittleMissY/N yay!!!
MaxVerstappen1 who knew you could keep a secret for that long???
PierreGasly Im more surprised that she was able to bag alex, are you sure you are perfectly sane Alex_Albon? Alex_Albon well I really really love her LittleMissY/N alex :< you used the love word Alex_Albon i mean you should have been used to it when you hear it everyday from when you wake up and before you fall asleep MaxVerstappen1 YOU TWO MAKE ME SICKKKKKK!!!!! NOT IN MY COMMENT SECTION
User10 folks i think we should apply to Y/N's school of being down bad and manifesting their dream partner
User15 what a lovely couple they are, goals!!!
677 notes · View notes
luvyeni · 6 months ago
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FUCK MY WIFE ,, 방찬
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pairings ‎⸝⸝⸝ bangchan x fem!reader wc. 3.9k+
genre. neighbor!au, smut
𓄷 includes ... cheating, unprotected sex, oral ( both receiving ), daddy kink
「 authors note 𖹭 」 you don't technically need to read the lee know fic , but it doesn't reference parts from the story so.
❪ masterlist! ❫
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chan watched you go inside minhos house; he also saw minho following behind you, like he was on a mission. “hey baby.” he felt the lips of his wife's on his cheek. “hey.” he said looking around for your mother and minhos wife. “Who are you looking for?.” his wife asked, he shook his head. “no one.” he saw them both talking to each other; both of them so unaware of what their daughter and husband were up to. “just looking for the host or hostess.”
“ah she's over there talking to their neighbor that lives across the street from them.” she pointed. “i'm not sure where her husband is though— hey!” she waved as the two ladies approached them. “Mr. and Mrs. Bhang , how are you enjoying the barbecue?” the lady of the house asked him, chan tipped his drink with a smile. “You guys know how to throw a party , and the desserts are amazing.” he complimented. “well that's courtesy of Ms. y/ln here , she owns the bakery as you know.”
“Well you are an amazing baker.” the lady gushed, “thank you.” she said, his wife spoke up. “Hey, where is your husband?” He watched her look around much like he did before , but he knew where he was — and to say he was jealous was an understatement. “Probably inside feeding the cats.” she shrugged it off. “That man and those cats , sometimes I swear he loves them more than me.” she laughed.
“ah! there he is.” She said, the man standing around, his face red but chan didn't comment on it. “I told you those damn cats, I knew it.” she said. “yn seems to be missing as well , that girl probably snook off and went home.” your mother said, chan couldn't believe how oblivious the two were, it was almost comical how right on the nose they were but also so wrong.
both the ladies walking away; leaving him with his wife. “should we get going soon?” he asked, she nodded. “yeah, let me say a few goodbyes to the girls then we can head home.” he nodded , and she was off , he turned back to Minho who was adjusting himself, finally making eye contact; chan just gave him a nod like he knew— lucky fucking bastard.
Chan remembers the first time you came home from college for winter break; it was your freshman year, you were twenty-one years old; coming home from a grueling day at work to see you sitting on his couch; it was a cold day out but you were still wearing the tiniest skirt only with fleece tights, with the tightest long sleeve shirt that made your tits pop.
he couldn't remember why you were there and honestly he didn't care, you were sitting there waiting for his wife; so cute , so carefree— so fuckable. The obvious fuck me eyes you were giving him made his 30+ heart beat; and his cock stirring in his pants. that was the first night he ever fucked his wife.
no it wasn't the first time he ever fucked his wife in general; but it was the first night in a very long time; probably since before they got married all those years ago that he fucked his wife with so much lust and hungry, pulling orgasm after orgasm out of her— but his mind wasn't on his wife; no, he was thinking about you being under him, and him filling your tiny little cunt with his cock.
his wife was none the wiser either; thinking he just finally had a spur of the moment, and she wasn't complaining it was the best sex they had in a while, she was happy— blissfully unaware that her husband was thinking about the young girl down the street while he filled her with his load.
After that he thought it would go back to normal; and it did, you went back to college for the rest of the semester, and his sex life with his wife returned back to normal; slow and mundane , much like before— then you returned back for the summer, it just got worse from there.
Not only did you somehow get hotter over the last few months; now due to the heat you were wearing less and less clothing; miniskirts and shorts so short you didn't even need to bend over for people to see your lacy panties, your tiny crop tops; shiny titties bouncing up and down as you made your way down the hot streets.
Then it was the sunbathing; fuck the sunbathing. he didn't know if you did it for attention or what; and he didn't care he prayed every time he walked his dog that you were out there in the tiniest bikini soaking up the sun; and everytime you were, you'd sit up, lowering your sunglasses, parting your lips as you waved at him, wishing him a good day; he watched you purposely push your titties together— because you knew he was looking at them. that was the second time he fucked his wife, much like he did that winter.
That entire summer; it was like a routine, he'd walk the dog and you were out there in your bikinis; you'd have a small conversation where you'd subtly push your tits together; or your eyes would lower to his cock that knowing you; could see twitching in his shorts, biting your lip before he'd walk away— and then he'd go home and fuck his wife, he fucked his wife so that he wouldn't fuck you.
His wife must've been in heaven the entire summer; but she was surely let down once again when you went back to college for your second year— and their sex life returned back to normal.
“You know Mrs. Lee?” his wife said from their bathroom; bringing him back to reality. they had finally made their way back to their home. “she thinks that girl across the street from them, yn i think that's her name.” she walked into the room “she thinks she's trying to make a move on her husband.”
‘She's not wrong’ chan thought, but he didn't say it out loud. “How so.” he said, not bothering to look up from his phone. “just the little thing she does, the looks she gives him; and how she talks to him, she even said she started the sunbathing again.” he finally looked at his wife. “Sunbathing?” he said; of course he knew what she was talking about. “Yeah , half naked in her front yard, the other wives said it too.” fuck he couldn't wait to walk the dogs again. “that girl, her poor mother is none the wiser either, her daughter parading herself around seducing women's husbands.”
she climbed into bed , moving his phone out his, climbing into his lap. “not my husband though.” she kissed his lips. “My husband isn't desperate enough to fall for a young girl that's looking for attention?.” he groaned as he felt his wife grinding against him. “Mhm of course not.” he didn't move , letting her do what she wanted. “Good, now fuck me.” she moaned out
He flipped her over, slotting himself in-between her legs; his cock hard, from his wife yes; but also from the thought of you into those tiny bikinis, especially that red one; fuck that red one that barely covered your titties, the bottom not even covering your ass. “chan baby fuck me.”
And that he did, but much like all the times before; his mind was on you, how tight your pussy would be, your titties covered in his cum, how loud he would make you scream his name; you you you , that's all was on his mind as he plowed into his wife. “fuck chan, I'm gonna cum.” his wife screamed. “fuck cum.” he pulled out of his cum jerking his cock off, thinking it was you as he came all over her , covering her in his cum. “fuck.”
He quickly finished his wife off , rolling on to his back. “fuck it's been a while since you fucked me like that.” she kissed his cheek. “you even came so much.” She stood up. “Next time do it inside me, it's so messy like this.” he nodded breathlessly as he watched his naked wife walk back into the bathroom. Chan closed his eyes, the vivid image of you still there making his cock hard again. “shit.” he cursed.
Pulling his shorts up; ignoring his hard cock. “you're still hard.” his wife made her return , laying in bed. “What's got you so wound up today?” she asked. “stress probably don't worry it will go down.” she nodded, turning on her side. “Well get some rest.” he hummed. “okay.” he waited until his wife fell into a deep sleep before making his way into the bathroom to jerk off to the thought of you.
The next day; he came home from work and his wife was holding the leash in her hand. “walk the dog.” So before he could even put his things down , he was heading out the door with berry.
After doing his daily walk with the dog , he started on his way home; telling berry about his day. “oh hi Mr. Bahng.” you were coming from across the street; the lee house. “hi yn , going to see Mrs. Lee?” he watched as your eyes widened for a split second , before going back to normal. “yeah, my mother let her borrow a dish and she needed it back.” you lied right through your teeth , and he knew it , but could he really judge you if he wanted to do the same thing. “yeah, where is it?”
“Oh she wasn't home, I asked Mr. Lee but he had no idea what I was talking about.” you said so smoothly; like this was nothing to you. “Guess mommy will have to wait to make those brownies.” you smiled so sweetly, he wondered if you tasted as sweetly as you smiled. “You'll have to bring me some,” he said. “your mother's brownies.”
“Of course.” you toyed with the necklace that sat nice on your titties, he noticed the hickey on top of your left breast , wanting to groan so bad; they probably fit perfectly in his hand. “Mr. Bahng?” you asked. “you okay, you're a little red?” he laughed nervously. “Of course, it's just a little hot out today.” he fanned himself , you pouted. “isn't it?” your whiny voice , he felt his cock move. “I heard it's gonna be like this all week.” you sighed, before perking back up. “but it's perfect for sunbathing.”
You smirked watching his eyes widened a bit. “sunbathing?” he asked. “Yes , it's the perfect weather for it , I might do it tomorrow.” of course you were gonna do it tomorrow; because you knew he'd be by with his dog. “Yeah?” he said, you nodded. “yup!” you bent down slowly, giving him a good peek of your tits. “Hello berry.” you patted the dog's head. “She's so cute.” you looked up at him, giving him the image of what you would look like kneeling in front of him , right before you took him into your mouth. “yeah she is.”
the way he was looking at you made your panties wet; you were ready to go again, even though you had just come back from getting the best fuck of your life from Minho— who's to say you can't get the second best on the same day. “well I should go.” he said , simply because he was losing his mind. “My wife is probably waiting for me.” you nodded. “yeah my mom should be on her way home now, i have to start preparing for dinner.” You gave the dog one last pet before standing up. “Goodnight Mr. Bahng.”
He watched you walk away, your ass peeking from your tiny skirt as you made your way into the house. “Mr. Bhang.” He heard a voice from across the street where Minho stood with a smirk. “Mr. Lee.” He gave a head tilt. “Off to see the wife.” he air quoted the word see. “you know it.” he winked before making his way home— his wife might catch on if he comes home after a walk ready to fuck like a dog in heat.
The next day he once again found himself walking the dog; for a split second, he wondered if his wife knew what she was doing sending him on these walks; but that thought quickly went, of course he would think that his wife was a cuck for the young girl down the block. “Hello Mr. Bahng.”
There you were, laying on a towel in the grass; red bikini, fuck he was really about to cum in his pants. “Hello again.” he gave a little smile. “I see you were true to your word.” you smiled , nodding. “It was so nice out today, I couldn't resist.” you sighed , your tits barely covered. “Oh yeah , my mother got the dish.” you said. “huh?” He questioned. “for the brownies , it turns out it wasn't Mrs. Lee but the couple next to them, the kim's.” he nodded. “Their son Seungmin brought it today.”
“that's good , so your mom will be able to make the brownies then.” you nodded , sitting up , now giving him a full view of your tits as you sat back on your hands. “yup , she's making them now.” You said. “I can bring you some tomorrow if you'd like.” You tilted your head to the side. “I'm sure your wife would enjoy them.”
“Oh yeah for sure,” he said. “I would like that very much.” you hummed. “okay!” You smiled. “See you then.” you waved , before turning back on your stomach , the view of your ass; the bottom's barely doing anything. “fuck.” he cursed as the dog began to pull at the leash. “come on berry.” he gave your ass one last peek before continuing down the block.
“Fuck baby if you keep fucking me like this I don't think I'll be able to keep up.” he rolled off of his naked wife. “Where are you getting this energy from all of a sudden?” He smiled , pulling his shorts back up. “Just love for my wife.” and the lust for you; the need to fuck you. “mhm i like it.” she smiled.
“i'm going to visit my mother tomorrow.” his wife spoke up. “yeah, when?” he said. “I'll leave tomorrow and I'll return within two days.” she said. “I’ve prepared the food for those two days, just heat it up and eat.” he thanked her. “Oh and the lady down the street has some treats she said she'll bring them as well, you better save me some.” He completely forgot about that; you did say you'd be by— he thought his wife would be here; to stop him from taking you right there in the living room. “She'll be here in the afternoon.” He nodded , tomorrow may just be the day he gives in. “okay.”
He waited for you the entire day; he knew you were coming and he was ready, he made a decision the night before; if giving the opportunity he was gonna fuck you; he knew it was wrong, his wife did satisfy him , but it was clear his thoughts of you were infiltrating his mind; and it wasn't getting any easier. maybe this would be the first and last time , maybe he just needed to get it out of his system — he tried to justify himself, just as he heard a knock on the door.
He opened the door; and there you stood, your daily outfit that consisted of a skirt too short and a shirt too tight— this most definitely wasn't gonna be the last time. “I bought the brownies.” you smiled.
“So you slept with the neighbor across the street?” jisung asked, you nodded. “it was good too.” he scrunched his nose up. “didn't ask , but now you're going after the guy down the street?” he asked. “Who's also married?” you shrugged. “Babe, your mother still has to live on that block.” he said. “Yeah , I've had your mother's cooking and it's phenomenal.” Felix started. “but I don't think even the most chocolatiest of brownies can be made to fix this fuck up if people find out.”
“trust me they won't.” You said. “Once again I feel like I'm inclined to stop you as your best friend, but as someone who loves drama , I kinda wanna see where this goes with these two guys just for the plot.” you laughed watching Felix scolded his boyfriend. “Be careful yn.” He said , his hands yanking at jisungs hair. “and don't get pregnant.”
After hanging up with them you made your way downstairs where your mother had the brownies already packaged up for you to take; this allows you to go back to retrieve the pan once he's finished; if you're successful with your plans today, hopefully this will be soon. “Perfect.”
You made your way down the street; standing in front of the house , walking up the walkway, anticipating bubbling up in your stomach as you knocked on the door, waiting for him to answer; putting your best smile on as he opened the door. “I brought the brownies.” he smiled; fuck he looked good, a plain white tank top and black shorts, so simple, but so fucking attractive. “Come in.”
You walked past him; his eyes following you as you walked into his house; closing the door before looking out making sure no one saw; that was the last thing he needed. “You can sit them on the counter in the kitchen.” He followed behind you , watching your ass move, you sat the treats down , turning around where he was standing in front of you. “Mr. Bahng?”
you were taken aback but not surprised when he pushed you against the counter, grabbing both sides of your face; kissing harshly, his hand coming down to your ass squeezing. “oh fuck.” you moaned as he roughly grabbed your tits, grinding his hard cock against you. “fu-fuck you see what do to me?” you reached down grabbing his cock in his shorts. “I did this?” you bit your lip. “you want to fuck me that bad?”
he groaned as you palmed him through his shorts. “fu-uck been thinking about this for a year.” he groaned. “making you take my fat cock down your throat.” he groaned. “yeah? wanna cum all over my face?” you brought your lips to his ear. “cover me in your cum -fuck- i wanna taste you so bad.” you said biting down. “fill my mouth with your cum.”
“Fuck.” he pulled away from your, the look on your face made him move quickly , pushing his pants down to his ankle right there in the kitchen. “on your knees princess.” you sunk down to your knees. “gonna -fuck- gonna suck my fat cock?” he groaned , stroking his cock right in front of your face, your mouth watered. “yes.” he smiled , grabbing the back of your head. “open up princess.”
he filled your mouth up, throwing his head back, holding on the counter as you took him into your mouth. “that's it, suck daddy's cock.” you moaned around his length, your panties sticking to your cunt as you bobbed your head up and down his length. “feels so fucking good.” he moaned. “gonna cum all over your face.”
it was the best experience he'd experienced in a while; his wife wasn't the biggest fan of giving head; so he almost never got it and when he did, it was half-assed. “sh-shit.” the way your throat tightened around his pulsing length , the gagging noises coming from your mouth , eyes rolling to the back of your head in pleasure. “fuck I'm gonna cum.”
He thrusted into your mouth a few more times , before pulling out. “open your mouth princess.” he stroked his cock , hips twitching as the cum shot from his tip landing all over your face. “oh fuck!”
you smiled , holding your mouth open as his cum hit the back of your throat. “taste good, baby? you like my cum that much.” you nodded , he lifted you up onto the counter. “wanna taste this pussy so bad.” he lifted your skirt. “wet fucking cunt.” he groaned. “yeah , you think about my pussy when fucking your wife?” he grunted , biting your thigh. “fuck!” you yelped , moaning as he licked your cunt. “sweet fucking pussy.”
your hands tangled up in his hair as he tongue fucked you on the counter where he most likely shared food with his wife. “Oh fuck daddy that feels good.” you fucked yourself on his tongue, his nose bumping against your clit deliciously, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. “fuck I'm gonna cum , i'm gonna fucking cum.” you squealed. “fuck!” you came all over his face , hips jutting against his face riding out your high.
he pulled away, giving your clit little kisses before pulling away. “You liked that princess?” you smiled , nodding. “so much.” He lifted his shirt over his head, revealing his abs. “fuck.” you moaned, running your hands down his stomach, stomach churning in need for him again. “pl-please fuck me daddy.”
“fuck, you want daddy's cock?” he grabbed the base of his cock on your folds. “ye-yeah , fuck me please.” you moaned. “pl-please fuck me.” he slid into your slippery cunt. “oh fuck your pussy is sucking me in.” you moaned. “you-you're so big.”
he huffed with a smile, “yeah? my cock stretching your tiny pussy?” he moaned. “fuck , slutty pussy.” he grabbed your hips. “just let anyone fuck you.” he began to plow into your cunt. “me , Minho -fuck- just love fucking men that aren't yours.” you moaned out. “fuck yes!” you screamed. “I love it.”
“I know you do, slut.” he slapped your tits, pinching your nipples. “gonna cum inside this pussy.” you gasped as he thrusted up into you, hitting your g-spot making your mouth hang open as he hit it over and over. “oh fuck you look so fucked out , gonna cum for daddy?” he rubbed your clit. “hmm?” you nodded. “fuck yes, i'm gonna cum.”
“fucking cum for daddy.” he slapped your pussy , moving his fingers back and forth as your juices gushed out of you, coating his abs in your cum. “fuck i'm cumming.” he groaned. “daddy's gonna fill you up.” he grunted. “fuck!” he cursed, stilling his hips as he came, filling your warm hole with his sperm. “shit.” he slowly pulled out, watching the cum leak from your hole. “Keep it inside princess.” he pushed it back inside you. “good girl.”
“Do they taste good?” you straddled his waist, feeding him a piece of brownie , the both of you now in his bed; you were wearing one of his shirts. “mhm.” he moaned at the taste. “So good princess.” you smiled , wiping the chocolate from his plump lips, licking it off your thumb. “When will your wife be back?” You asked , he rubbed your waist. “tomorrow evening.” you hummed. “perfect.” you bent down, kissing his neck. “fuck princess don't leave any marks.”
“I know.” you whispered against his skin. “you can fuck me over and over.” leaving more kisses along his neck. “until your wife gets back.” he hummed. “fuck yeah.” he moaned as you grinded your hips down.
yeah he knew he could no longer fuck his wife to get you out of his mind.
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©️LUVYENI
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viennakarma · 1 year ago
Text
Everything I Wanted II.
LESTAPPEN X READER (PART 2)
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Summary: Your journey to become a Motorsport legend wasn't easy, especially when your path clashed with your greatest rivals, Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc.
Word count: 8.9k
Tags: Driver reader, mentions of crash, angst, abusive parent, daddy issues, trust issues, character death (not reader), cursing, strong rivalry, misogyny in motorsport, invasive media, aggressive fans, reader suffers with cyberbullying and hate, smut, female reader, +18, unprotected sex, voyeurism, exhibtionism, edging, filthy, porn with plot, queer! everyone, polyamory lestappen, bit of dirty talking, pet names, not beta read
Relationships: Lestappen x Reader
Mentor!Kimi Raikkonen x Reader
Sebastian Vettel, Fernando Alonso, Lewis Hamilton x Platonic!Reader
Notes: this is full of motorsport categories inaccuracies, just go with the vibes please. There are a few inaccuracies regarding other drivers' lives, but they are just to fit the story. This chapter is very angsty and none of it is an attack at the drivers nor their fans and personalities, please.
I know I KNOW, this got out of hand, AGAIN. I promise next part (and hopefully last) is more focused on the romance, and the happy ending reader deserves.
Find me on Twitter!
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
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You spent Christmas with your mom, sharing a lot of presents and watching a bunch of stupid Christmas movies. New Year’s was now a tradition to spend with the Raikkonen Family, joined with the closest friends for a little get together. It was a good opportunity to reconnect with Kimi’s kids who missed you a lot during the season.
Charles never contacted you during winter break, which you were sure was the best after that mistake. You hated each other too much and the only thing that could come out of that was toxicity from the both of you. You refused to even acknowledge what had happened and its implications, that wouldn’t and couldn’t mean anything.
During the pre-season testing in Bahrain, you and Charles were back to whatever your relationship was before that one lapse in judgment months before.
Nobody noticed anything.
One day, Fernando pulled you aside for a little chat. You two sat side by side on big moving boxes, sipping on energy drinks.
“There’s something I have been wanting to talk to you about since last year,” he started, seemingly pensive, distant.
“Is everything ok?”
“Yeah, yeah. Remember after we first met when you asked me if I had advice for you regarding your career?” Fernando said, and you remembered.
Right after you had gotten close, you asked him for advice, you always did, especially about racing. But one day, you were chatting about his career, and you asked if had any lessons you should never forget. He had laughed joking about read all your contracts then asking if you were calling him old, but he said if he ever had any advice, he would tell you.
“Yes, have you got my answer yet?”
“Sí, Nena,” he paused, looking deep into your eyes, “enjoy.”
You frowned and he saw the confusion on your face.
“I see much of my younger self in you, you know? The same passion, this fiery desire to win, your goal for the championship, to conquer the world…” Fernando paused, looking up to the clear sky, the sunset coming around, “And I did. But I wish I had enjoyed it more. I should’ve gone to parties, I should’ve visited the countries we went to and tried the food, I should’ve made more friends, I should’ve had more lovers… I was so focused on winning, on getting my hands on that trophy of champion of the world, that I missed out on a lot.”
You felt your eyes tear up, and you wiped it before the tears came down. Putting your hand on his shoulder, you smiled at him.
“It’s such an honor race with you. And an even greater honor to have you as a friend, Nano” you whispered to him, you two laughed as his eyes watered too, and slapping his shoulder you laughed, “don’t make me cry, you old softie!”
You took his advice to your heart.
You went to the parties, you met new people, and that’s how after two entire seasons, you managed to befriend Lando, your teammate. You two had to open your hearts a little bit and meet in the middle. Which proved to be great, the whole team loved the change in your dynamic. You still weren’t besties, but you were close colleagues, and that was great. Everyone noticed the change and it reflected on how you started racing as a team instead of individually.
The car was even better than the year before, and the first race of the season you got a promising win.
That win, Lando’s pestering, and Fernando’s advice was how you ended up in a party after the Bahrain GP. Wearing a skimpy mini dress and 5 tequila shots deep, swaying your hips to the sound of Rihanna. You were dancing and singing with Lando and a few of his friends, loudly screaming the lyrics.
When it was way too hot for you, you grabbed a water bottle and beelined your way out of the crowded dance floor. You found a corner of the VIP section where the AC seemed to be working better, and as you stumbled inside the small space, you ran chest first into someone.
“Sorry,” you said, taking a step back and pressing your back against the cold wall.
“Enjoying your win?” Your head snapped up as you recognised Max’s voice. You had run into him.
Lando had mentioned inviting Max to the party, he had gotten a P2 in the race but you doubted he would go to a party he knew you would attend. You were obviously wrong.
“You know I am,” the victory was so good that nothing could ruin your mood.
“Well, then enjoy it. I’m coming for the win, again.” He warned you but his voice was devoid of anything, just sounded like he was casually telling you about the weather. But you knew that he was implying his championship the year before, rubbing it in your face.
“Don’t be so confident, Max,” you finished your water, smirking at him, “Enjoy the view of my rear!”
You flipped your hair, feeling his eyes on you the whole walk back to the dance floor.
And yet-
Somehow-
You ended up back at that small corner, dancing with your body pressed between Verstappen’s and the wall, his hand holding your jaw firmly, you rolled your hips against him, feeling the way his body responded to yours.
“We can’t-” he said to you, still, his eyes hadn’t left your lips, like he was so oh so tempted.
You rolled your eyes, annoyed. Sober you would never do that, but then, that was a problem for later. Checking to see if anyone was looking at you, you hooked a finger around his waistband and pulled him towards the bathroom.
As soon as the two of you were inside, you locked the door and Max pressed your back against the door, latching his lips to yours in a very desperate open mouthed kiss. You hugged his shoulders, opening your lips to him, his hands went down your sides and he grabbed your ass, pulling you into him. But that wasn’t enough, so he held your thighs and pulled up, carrying you. You locked your legs around his waist, and he stopped the kiss to walk, sitting you on the marble side of the sink, still between your legs, forcing his bulge against your panties, and eliciting a moan from you.
He took a half step back to hike your dress up, palming your cunt over your panties feeling the dampness of it, he tried to press his hand under your panties, but the lacy fabric didn’t leave much space, so he simply tore the bottom of them, exposing you to him. He just ran a finger over your slit, collecting your wetness for a brief moment before pushing a finger into you. Max watched your face with concentration, studying your body’s responses. Your hips shaking at the movement of his finger, and when the second one joined, you got louder. He curled his fingers up, his thumb pressing your clit, and you had to use both hands to hold onto him, your head lolling back against the mirror.
“Take it and shut the fuck up,” he grunted between clenched teeth.
He was pressing your insides so good, the slick sound of his fingers going in and out, his heavy breathing, the loud music outside and his laser focused fingers had you coming against his fingers in minutes. When he noticed you close, cunt spasming against his fingers, he pressed the other hand against your mouth, covering your moans when your toes curled and you orgasmed on his hand.
Max barely let you recover as he opened his jeans and stroked himself twice before pushing his cock into you in one swift move, making you gasp at the sudden intrusion.
“That’s what you wanted, right? Fucking teasing me all night,” He pushed particularly hard, hitting your g-spot, making you see stars, “you’re a fucking menace, y’know that? Fucking insufferable,” then his words became a mumbling of something dutch you couldn’t quite catch anymore with the way his hips snapped against yours, taking all your focus away and turning you into a mess of moaning.
Max fucked like he raced, focused and relentless, brutal. He hugged you with one arm around your waist to keep you in place and the other held you face, tilting your head so he could kiss you, or whatever that mess of saliva, tongues and teeth was. Your orgasm crashed through you unexpectedly, and you only hugged him tighter, pressing your face against his chest, biting into his skin through the fabric of his T-shirt to silence yourself, your teeth sinking into him was enough to send him also over the edge, coming with moans against your ear.
That night, you went home with shaking legs and an incoming headache, as Max left with the scraps of your panties in his pocket and your lipstick stain on his shirt, above his chest.
It was the seventh race of the year, Monaco, and you absolutely hated that specific track since your years of F2. During your two first years in F1 you had awful experiences, the rookie year you DNF and the year prior you had barely managed a P7. You were trying to keep your head up, be hopeful that you could at least try for top 5.
But since you couldn’t catch a fucking break, an old video of your teenage years resurfaced.
You were walking to your first round of interviews when Amanda, your PR manager, started walking by your side.
“There’s something. An old video of a karting competition resurfaced, where Max and Charles pretty much call you stupid,” Amanda was always direct, you could give it to her.
“Let me see the video” you asked, offering your hand for her phone.
“We don’t have time, but everyone will ask you about it. I need you to be the bigger person and act like it isn’t important, yes? They will try to taunt you and get a bad reaction from you, I need you to dismiss everything they throw at you. Agreed?”
You sighed. You knew the stuff from your teens were pretty bad, you rarely badmouthed Max or Charles, but they always felt threatened by you, so there were lots of instances they attacked you. Honestly, you just didn’t want to come out of this victimized. So as you entered the first round of interviews, you decided you were going to downplay anything they asked you.
“Y/N, have you seen the footage of you, Max and Charles from your teenage years that resurfaced recently?”
“No, uh, I haven’t.”
Someone pushed an iPad in your hands because of course, they wanted a live reaction from you. You pressed play, reading the subtitles someone put on the video. It was an amateur recording like a post race interview made by another teenage guy. First as Max walked out of the track, the guy asked what he thought of your win.
“It was luck, she’s not bright enough to think of a strategy,” Max said, walking away, clearly pissed having lost to you.
There was a cut and the camera was turned on again when Charles walked toward the guy asking the question. He repeated exactly the same question he had asked Max.
“Y/N, I don’t worry about her long term. She’s not going very far in this sport anyway,” Charles shrugged, seemingly unbothered.
As the video cut again, it showed your face, you remembered when that was. You were 14, and your dad had dropped you a few months earlier, so you were working your ass off balancing school, work and karting.
“Hey, Y/N. What do you think of your result today?”
“Uh, I tried a new strategy I learned earlier this week, thankfully it worked in my favor,” teen-You dried your forehead with your coat’s sleeve.
“What are your plans for this competition?”
“Well, I hope to be good enough to get into F4 next year, and work my way up into Formula 1,” you smiled softly and walked away after a quick bye.
The video ended and you still spent a few seconds staring at the black screen of the iPad. This interview didn’t come to your mind in more than a decade, but it was nice seeing how you made your 14-year-old dream come true.
“So, what do you say?” The reporter extended his mic to you.
“I guess I proved them wrong, right?” You giggled a little, “don’t take it to heart, really. We were all hormonal teenagers, I’m sure if someone digs, they will find a video of me saying the same stuff about them,” you shrugged, despite that being a lie, sounded dismissive enough.
“So it doesn’t upset you?” The reporter insisted, and you knew he wanted a scandal you weren’t willing to give.
“Of course not. I’ve always known my worth, and I’m P1 in the driver’s championship as of right now. So I don’t really care.”
The interviewers soon let the video go, when they realized you didn’t care about it. You weren’t sure if anyone would also approach Charles or Max with questions about the same video, but you couldn’t care less, you wanted to avoid drama for the time being so you could focus on the championship instead of this bullshit.
On the morning of qualifying, you were in your room, trying to meditate and clear your mind, when a knock interrupted you.
“Guys, I asked for twenty minutes so I could-” you stop yourself when you realize it isn’t anyone from your team, but it’s Max and Charles, “what are you doing here?”
“We came to apologize about the video,” Max started.
“Did your PR teams send you here?” You looked around, trying to catch a camera or even a phone recording.
“No uh, we realized we were very immature with you, and this video is just proof of how silly that was,” Charles sighed, seemingly embarrassed.
“You don’t need to apologize, I mean- the two of you really had it out for me, you called me dumb a lot,” you pointed to Max, then Charles, “and you called me ugly countless times. I don’t know why it would make any difference now.”
You were just so used to being defensive, to protect yourself from hatred you found it hard to believe them, to give them a chance to apologize because you couldn’t believe it to be genuine.
“Even if you don’t take it, or believe it, I would like to apologize for that behavior. I was just a stupid kid.” Max looked deep into your eyes, which could’ve made you uncomfortable if he didn’t seem so honest.
“I’m really sorry, Y/N. It was too idiotic to be like that to you, growing up. You were just a kid too.” Charles added.
You understood where that apology came from, it was stupid and embarrassing for all three of you this teenage rivalry when you all were barely mid racers back in the day. Sighing, you looked around, dropping your façade for a second, allowing yourself to display the same honesty they showed you.
It was hard and required some sort of deprogramming because you could only see them as rivals, like your dad had whispered in your brain so many times before, like their actions towards you had cemented dad’s words. They had said things that were on your mind for so long, that had made you defensive and deflective.
“Look, don’t worry about it. Whatever happened back then, it’s water under the bridge,” You shifted on your feet. As they started walking away, you added “this doesn’t mean we’re friends.”
They only nodded before leaving. Your routine went back to the same, and as the next scandal went on, people forgot about the silly video, but a very specific part of the fans started shipping you and both your rivals.
The rivalry never died down though.
Then, out of nowhere, Sebastian pulled you and Lewis aside to a conversation. Then he told you that he was going to retire by the end of the season. It was the first time the two of them saw you cry, and Sebastian hugged you tight, shushing your crying softly.
“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry,” he whispered, petting your head.
“No, don’t apologize,” you let him go, drying your face, “I have listened to you talking countless times about how you missed the kids. Don’t apologize for choosing to be a great dad. I know Hanna and the kiddos will be ecstatic.”
“You two are my closest friends here, that’s why I wanted to tell you first, before my announcement.”
“Thank you, Seb,” you said, eyes still watering, “I’m going to miss having you around.”
“Thank you for telling us beforehand,” Lewis said, also visibly emotional.
The season was writing itself to be just as close as the year prior, but now you were slightly better at keeping the lead most.
That is until Zandvoort. This GP was always a nightmare to you, because it was full of Max’s fans, and they absolutely hated you for being his rival. You had been booed when you were on the podium the year before, so now, you and Amanda decided it was best to keep your head down during the whole week. Not out of shame, but more of a matter of safety, you didn’t know how far the crowd could go in antagonizing you. When you were booed the other year, Max had said it was part of the sport and dismissed the conversation.
The morning of free practice, you went into the paddock very low-key and kept to yourself. You arrived with a little cup of coffee and got mentally ready for a hostile environment the whole weekend. That, until you spotted a small group of people dressed with your color and wearing your number, waving wildly to you.
In a spur of the moment decision, you went there, getting close to the barrier to sign a few caps and take a few selfies. In retrospect, you knew you shouldn’t have done that, especially with only two bodyguards accompanying you.
You were finishing chatting with your fans when you felt something heavy hit the side of your head and the impact made you stumble backwards, you were confused as you heard the screams and felt one of the bodyguards pull you back, as the other jumped the barrier and started running. You patted your temple and something wet and sticky was dripping down the side of your face. You stared at the small group of fans who were looking at you horrified. Staring at the hand, you saw the red staining your fingers, and as the bodyguard kept pulling you away to somewhere safer, the thing flowed even more and  got into your left eye.
You wondered if it was blood as you touched your temple but felt nothing, not a gash nor small cut. You covered your left eye as it started to sting from what you supposed smelt like paint.
“Hey, hey, what happened? You’re bleeding!” Max jogged up to you.
“Not blood, just paint” you muttered, trying to use your coat to clean your face.
“Someone threw a paint ball at her,” the bodyguard said.
“Fuck, it’s burning!” You exclaimed, feeling tears in your left eye.
“Come here, the RB hospitality is close,” Max said, holding your wrist, he stopped shortly pointing to your bodyguard, “and you, sort this and find the person who did it.”
You let yourself be taken by Max into the RB territory, the burning so annoying that you rather take whatever solution he was thinking of. He held your waist and placed you sitting on a sink, and then you felt water streaming down your face.
“Stay still,” Max commanded, holding a hose over your head, pouring water down your face, “now blink slowly, let the water wash it,” his voice soft as you did what he told you to. Slowly but surely, it washed the paint away, relieving your left eye from the stinging. Max held the hose up and held your chin, tilting your head up so he could check your eye, still letting the water stream down your face.
You took a few minutes, breathing and regulating your heartbeat from that scare, trying to come back to normal and understand fully what was going on. From what you gathered, you were chatting with fans when someone else came and threw something with paint at you.
“How does it feel?” 
“It’s better, already stopped burning,” you told him, feeling your heart miss a beat at the close proximity you found yourself to him. You were sitting on a sink, Max standing between your legs pretty much like you two had done months before for entirely different reasons.
“Open your eye, let me see,” he asked, and you tried to blink it open, “can you see?”
“It’s a little blurry but I believe it will get better,” you explained, and he didn’t let go of your chin. Suddenly, he covered your right eye with the other hand, leaving you only with your left eye sight.
“How many fingers am I putting up?” He showed it to your left eye. The vision was a bit blurry but you still could make out the shapes very clearly.
“Four, Max. It’s just a little bit blurry, probably will get better in a few minutes” you sounded annoyed, you tried to move but he pressed a hand against your waist, keeping you in place.
“Now, what happened?” He asked finally. You ignored the proximity, and the hand still on your body.
“We’re in Zandvoort, that’s what happened,” you shrugged, really annoyed about it.
“What do you mean?” He was visibly confused. You scoffed because you knew it wasn’t something he didn’t know, since the year before he has dismissed the importance of how hostile people were to you.
“We’re massively surrounded by your fans, Max.”
“I don’t understand.”
“They hate me because you hate me, and they think because you hate me they’re justified in their hostility towards me,” You explained, with a sigh, you pushed away from Max, “this GP has been like this for me ever since Rookie year.”
“I don’t hate you,” he said, brows furrowed.
“You do. And they do too,” you pointed down at the paint that had also stained your shirt as proof.
“I don’t,” he insisted and you rolled your eyes, jumping off the sink, but he didn’t give you space, which made you stand chest to chest with him, “I promise.”
You stared at him, breathless. That wasn’t part of the game you played, being kind, sounding worried and making promises. None of that was part of this whole rivalry. Pushing his chest, you tried getting away but he caged you against the sink, body flush against yours.
“Do you believe me?” He asked and your eyes fell to his lips, and you allowed yourself to remember the desperate and chaotic kisses you had shared in a dimly lit bathroom, “I don’t support any of this behavior.”
You heard voices and steps approaching, which made you finally push him away, walking towards the door. Whatever little magic had been happening between those walls was undone the moment you remembered none of that would’ve happened if he had politely put a stop to it earlier.
“It’s part of the sport and I have to deal with it, right?” You returned the very same words he had said about you when you were booed by the crowd the year prior.
As you opened the door, you were faced with Sebastian. He stopped, taking you in and then pulling you in a hug.
“Are you ok? We just heard what happened!” He murmured, guiding you out of the bathroom. He held your shoulders and looked at your face, checking how your left eye was still a little red, “we should take you to see a doctor, come on.”
Lewis soon arrived at the entrance of the RBR station, he warned about the reporters crowding outside, waiting for a glimpse of you after the attack. The British man gave you a Mercedes coat so you put it over your head and avoid the cameras waiting outside. With the bodyguards and both Lewis and Sebastian leading you away, you ended up at the medical center, and after a quick examination, the doctor gave you eye drops to put throughout the day.
Your Principal suggested you sit the FP1 out, letting the reserve driver take your place while you recovered. By the middle of FP1, your eyesight was 100% and you went to get ready for FP2. The whole day you felt like everyone was being extra careful, tiptoeing around you. You hated feeling like you were being pitied, so when the inevitable round of interviews came, you knew what you had to do.
“We heard about your incident earlier today, how are you feeling about it?” Someone asked.
“I’m pretty upset, to be honest. Formula 1 is a sport loved around the whole world, and the paddock overall is supposed to be a safe place not only for the fans, but also the workers and drivers. What happened today is unacceptable and could’ve been much worse. I’m voicing my dissatisfaction and I intend to, through legal means, take this complaint to the FIA.”
Later that night, as you laid awake on your bed, scrolling through the repercussions of the day, you stopped when you saw a snippet of Max's interview.
“What happened today was dangerous and unacceptable, I don’t support this behavior and I stand with Y/N,” that was all he said, but Max usually was a man of few words, always knowing when it was enough.
You knew he should’ve voiced that much earlier in your career, specifically after the booing the year before, but still- He also could have opted to not say anything at all, and he didn’t.
Amanda also sent you the news that the fan who had attacked you was found and banned for life from Formula 1.
After calling Sebastian, you managed to get ahold of Max’s phone number and texted him a simple message.
Thank you. Twice. - Lioness
The text went to read almost immediately, and the three dots appeared from his side of the screen. You wait, and wait, and wait. And then the dots disappeared, and an answer never came.
After a solid P2 that weekend in Zandvoort, you went home for the summer break. You and your mom had planned to go to Monaco for a little while since you were planning on buying a place there. From there, you and your mom would go all around the French Riviera to enjoy the sea and spend a few days in a spa resort. Then, you would go back home and relax before going to Ibiza for a weekend to meet Lando and his friends to enjoy some partying.
Everything went according to plan, but one day when you came back home after the trip to the French Riviera, you found your mom passed out on the living room floor.
You called an ambulance, quickly taking her into the hospital. Everything was a blur, the tests and scans, your mom still unconscious on a hospital bed, and the results. The results that pulled the floor from under your feet.
Your brain couldn’t fully compute what was said. Cancer Stage 4. Surgery. Palliative care.
The world was muted around you as you sat on a chair in the waiting room, hands shaking when you tried to understand what was happening. You somehow ended up calling the one other person you trust.
“Y/N? What happened?”
“I don’t understand- she just- she just passed out and I thought- but- but they said- palliative care” you try to come up with words.
“Talk to me. Are you sick?” Kimi’s voice is so focused and a little soothing.
“It’s mom”
“Send your location, I’m going there,” that’s all he said.
Waiting for Kimi gave you some sense of purpose, because it’s Kimi. He could fix anything. He fixed your life when you were 14, he can do it again. He would get there and find a way to help. Your mind got so clouded when the word cancer was thrown in the conversation, that you probably missed the part about treatments and- and surgery and stuff.
In your mother’s room there was a comfortable couch where you tried to settle to sleep, but you only spent countless hours awake. You hoped to see the doctor again to try and get him to explain everything for a second time.
You wished you were smart and quick, but no, you just sat there holding onto the hope that Kimi had a way to fix this.
Kimi arrived early the next morning, knocking on the door before entering. You stood up, hugging him tight.
“What happened?”
“It’s pancreatic cancer, they said. We need to see more about surgery and- and treatments.”
You and Kimi found the doctor, who explained again, and in that moment you finally understood what he meant the first time around. She was in a late stage of pancreatic cancer, which was usually a very difficult illness to find before it is too late, due to the placement of the organ in the body and late symptoms. The only options were either to try a very risky surgery and chemo so she could extend her life for around 8 months to a year. Or she could go home to live her last few months the way she wanted.
You begged and cried and bribed and offered every single solution your brain could muster to try and save her. Kimi held you when you fell to the floor, sobbing.
When your mom woke up and you and Kimi told her the diagnosis, she cried too, sobbing in your arms as you tried to hold it together for her sake. It took a couple of days for her to choose to go home. The two of you spent the last days of summer break traveling around the world a bit more, visiting temples and statues, and seeing nature and everything good the world had to offer, going to places motorsport hadn’t taken you to.
Your mom went to every race week from there on, even when she felt especially weak, even when you had to hire a full time medical team for her. 
Your focus on the season was solely on the moment between entering the car and leaving the car. You still managed to race like you’ve done before, calm and controlled, with the help of your engineers and team, you still could put the car where you wanted it, paving your way for a solid world championship that year. It was like your brain was seeing racing as the one thing in your life you had full control over, so sometimes you even felt like you and the car were one.
You didn’t tell anyone about her. Though every driver noticed how distant you were, even Charles and Max and the ones that weren’t very close to you noticed how you were only fulfilling your obligations and leaving, you weren’t even celebrating your wins, leaving the fastest you could after a race.
The Singapore GP was tough for you, having to leave your mom home alone with the medical staff and a couple of friends from her book club, since she wasn’t strong enough to travel anymore. Your attention was failing all throughout media day and free practices. Qualifying was shit compared to your performance the rest of the season.
In Q3 you did a reasonable sector 1 and 2 but you messed up sector 3 completely. It was a complete accident when you got in the way of a Ferrari when he was doing his fast lap, and you ended up messing his qualy too. Jace let you know it was none other than Charles Leclerc, who was setting the pace for a pole position. Out of 19 drivers, you had to ruin his lap. In the end, Max got pole, Charles qualified P3 and you qualified P5.
You went through the motions during the post qualifying press. You were about to leave after debriefing, when Charles Leclerc found you on the way to the parking lot. You pulled your coat tighter around yourself protectively as he walked up to you. You were hoping to escape his fury at least until after the race the next day. Before he could even get a word in, you started.
“Look, I know I messed up your pole. I know you won’t believe me, but it wasn’t intentional. I really thought there was no one doing fast laps on the track, I thought everyone was either still doing out laps or in the pits, so when you-”
“Calm down, breathe,” he interrupted you, “I’m not here to fight.”
“No?” You frowned, confused with the kindness in his eyes.
“We know you’re going through something, and I’m sure I’m the last person you want to hear this from, but you’re not alone. And you should really consider talking with someone on the grid. They’re all- we’re all worried about you.”
The words felt alien coming from his mouth, but the gentleness was so comforting you felt a lump in your throat.
“Why do you think I’m not ok?” You muttered trying to sound confident, but your voice failed, betraying you.
“You’re skinny and you look sleep deprived for a few weeks now,” Charles said directly.
“Damn, thanks.”
“I don’t mean it like that, you know it,” he paused, putting both hands on his pockets, “have you been eating?” Your lack of response made him press further, “have you eaten today?”
You pressed your lips together, not wanting to answer that.
“Let’s go, I’ll drive you to the hotel, we’ll stop on the way to grab some food,” Charles gestured to his car, a few meters away. You stood there, shocked as he started walking away, then he stopped looking over his shoulder, “come on, I don’t have all the time in the world.”
As you sat in his Ferrari, Charles put music on and you didn’t do much talking, but it was tranquil. He called the restaurant to order take out on the way, and 30 minutes later he dropped you off at the hotel with a bag full of food.
“Thank you, Charles.” You whispered before leaving the car.
You ate the food while on a video call with your mom.
You recovered well during the race, finishing P2, behind Max and ahead of Charles.
Your mom passed away a few days after the Japanese Grand Prix, the one you had won and dedicated it to her from the top step of the podium, even if she wasn’t there, just watching from home. You went home and stayed with her, holding her hands and hugging her as much as you could.
Some part of you knew she was somehow fighting, because she had promised you the year before she would be there when you became world champion. You could see she was hoping to make it to the end of the season, but you also knew she wouldn’t, and you rather she didn’t have to endure any more pain just for your sake.
“You don’t need to fight anymore, ma,” you whispered before she went to sleep, “you raised a strong woman, too. I will see you on the other side, ok? You can rest now, I love you.”
“I’m so proud of you, honey. I love you to the moon and back.”
You made it through her small funeral, following what she had written down before passing. An intimate funeral, full of flowers and a toast to her life. You cried the whole time, with Kimi and Minttu taking turns at comforting you as they could. Coming back to an empty home smelling of cleaning products made you almost lose your mind, and the sight of you in such despair was enough for Kimi to convince you to stay with them until you had to travel for the next race, in almost seven days.
The days passed in a crying blur, you let part of your team know about your mom’s passing. Only Amanda, Jace and your Principal. Jace tried to convince you to take a break and not go to the next race in Austin, but you quickly shut it off. Not only because racing was the one thing keeping you sane amidst the chaos, but because you were so close to the championship, and  it was still close competition with Max and Charles, so you couldn’t afford to lose a race and the points that could come with it.
You had to honor your mom in some way.
That’s how you ended up on a plane to Austin with Kimi and Amanda. You knew Kimi had convinced you to let him go because he was sure you’d have a mental breakdown anytime along the weekend, but deep down you appreciated the company. Arriving there, Jace was the first to hug you and whisper his condolences, as well as your TP too.
You survived the entire weekend without breaking down crying in public, but that was your worst race in a few months, the first time out of a podium since Spa. You ended up P5, which luckily wasn’t too bad because Max finished P4 which you were grateful for as he was the one who was P2 in the driver’s championship close behind you.
After that week, you packed your stuff and moved to the new condo in Monaco you had bought during summer break. Despite loving your mom to pieces, you couldn’t manage to live alone in the house you bought for her a couple of years before, it was lonely and it hit you with overwhelming waves of sadness all the time. You distracted yourself a lot with buying furniture and decorations for the new place, and discovering Monte Carlo in a whole new way. The one comfort in all that, was knowing your mom wasn’t suffering anymore.
Then you went straight to Mexico for the next Grand Prix, this time, Kimi left you because he had to come home to Minttu and the kids. Amanda had been such a support for you, that you knew you had to give her something special for the holidays, out of gratitude.
Everything was going as expected until the press conference. You were there with Charles, Max, Sebastian and Lando. You suspected they were putting you always in the same group as Max and Charles because, as the season nearing the end, only three races left, they were your close competition.
While someone asked something of Charles, you were whispering with Sebastian, chatting about Mexican foods you wanted to try after the race. Then, something bizarre happened, and phones started to ping all around the room, between reporters, cameras and everyone else started checking their phones. It seemed like something out of a black mirror nightmare.
You reached for your phone but then remembered you left it to charge in your room.
“This question is for Y/N,” a reporter asked, reading something from his phone, “there’s a new article that just came out saying your mom passed away a couple of weeks ago, is that true?”
Your blood ran cold, and every sound felt like it was muted inside the room. Wide eyed, you searched for Amanda, who was somewhere on the opposite side of the room, and when you found her, she was pale. Then, there was a cacophony of voices and cameras and questions, that made you suddenly overwhelmed.
Swallowing, trying to reassess, you found Sebastian already standing, holding your shoulders. Looking around you noticed how the other three drivers had stood up, making some sort of shield around you, protecting you from the cameras and reporters swarming around. 
“We can go, ok? Come on,” Sebastian was saying when Amanda caught up to you, leaning beside Sebastian.
“We can leave, right now,” she said, holding your hand.
Still a little confused, you nodded and let them both guide you back to your room.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry for your loss,” Sebastian hugged you, running his hands on your back for comfort.
“How- how did they find out?” You ask Amanda.
“An article came out, I’m not sure. Someone was probably digging into your life, but don’t worry, I put the team on it already.”
“How do- how we diffuse this? How do we proceed? We need to address this, right?” You started blabbering, trying to wrap your head around everything.
“That was very disrespectful of them to ask like that!” Sebastian exclaimed, making you two jolt.
“We’ll do whatever you’re comfortable with. Do you want me to release a note asking for privacy?” Amanda suggested.
“Can I write something and then run it by you?” You asked, she only nodded.
After a moment, both Amanda and Seb left you alone as you typed a note on your phone. You rewrote and deleted a few times before settling on something heartfelt and respectful but also, calling out the invasion of privacy.
My mom passed away a few days ago after battling with cancer for the past few months.
She had requested of me to keep it a secret until after the season was over, so I could mourn her without the weight of racing over my shoulders. 
But obviously someone went digging and disrespected not only one of her last wishes but also disrespected my grief and my right to privacy. I love my mom but I’ll not be answering any more questions about her illness or death, please respect me and respect her memory.
All the love, Y/N
Nobody asked anything over the weekend, but again, it felt like everyone was tiptoeing around you. As soon as you first saw Nano the next day, he held you tight for almost a minute whispering his condolences, and it made you almost cry again. Lewis also spared you a hug, saying if you ever needed anything, to contact him.
You survived that weekend, and decided to go straight to Brazil for the next GP instead of going back to Monaco. In São Paulo you mostly slept your worries and fears away. You had promised yourself to try and focus on the season only, to make your dream come true, to fulfill your mom’s promise in some way.
With Ferrari’s bad strategy in Mexico, they had ruined Charles’ chance at the championship. Now your only competition was Max and the Red Bull rocketship.
You rewatched the race a couple of times as you usually did, to try and catch any mistakes you or your team may have made, to fix it for the next one. But also to try and notice any weaknesses of your rivals, if it was something you could use in your own favor.
You noticed right away in the FP1 that your car wasn’t adhering to the track, you were losing balance and needed more force than usual to keep yourself in place. By FP2, you managed to control your car better, but that caused your tyres to wear off way more quickly.
Quali was one of the shittiest you’ve ever done in your career, taking you out in Q2 for the first time that year, placing you for a start at P12.
“Listen, we’ll do better tomorrow, ok?” Jace told you as soon as you entered the garage, seeing Max still out with a shot at pole position.
“Give me a few minutes to unwind, please,” you asked, dropping your helmet, balaclava and gloves at a nearby table.
You went straight to your room, searching for your phone. Immediately calling Kimi, you waited for him to pick up.
“I watched it,” he said first and foremost.
“If I do bad in the race tomorrow, and Max does well, then I’m gonna lose the championship, Kimi,” saying that out loud made you shiver in horror, “FUCK!” You screamed, kicking a chair.
“First of all, even if you did bad tomorrow, you’d still have a chance to fight for the championship in Abu Dhabi. You know that,” Kimi warned you as if he was scolding a little kid, “second of all, I never taught you this loser mindset. You’ll have to find a way to work around the problems in your car tomorrow.”
“Shit, I’m so fucked! How? How could I even-”
“Remember when I first met you? Your kart was with almost this same problem, yeah? Remember you got P2? You went ahead and fixed it. That’s what I need you to do tomorrow, don’t focus on what you can’t do, only focus on what you can do.”
“I’ll try my best.”
“No trying. Do it.”
After spending the entire night crafting plan A, B, C and Z with you strategists and engineers, you barely got any sleep, but you forced yourself to rest. In the morning, you went to the track early to meet with your team again, to run your strategies one more time, when you had an idea. You’d still follow the plans you had carefully crafted with the team, but you decided to make a Plan Star, as you had called. Interlagos didn’t have any safety car in the last two years, so it was dangerous to fully count on one. But your plan star consisted in the case of a safety car in this one specific window of laps, you’d go to the pits for hards, counting on everyone else being on old softs or mediums at that specific point in the race. But for it to work, you had to be the first of the front field to go in.
As the lights went out and you accelerated, you got already three positions up, landing in P9, and luckily, the points zone. Jace was worried in your ears, talking about the car and the tyres management. With controlled calm and Kimi’s voice in your head, you managed a few more positions in the first 14 laps, landing P7. You lost a bit of time there, since Nando was P6 and everyone knew how tough it always is to overtake him. But you eventually managed to get the position. Unfortunately, it was the moment you had to go to your first pitstop. Due to the problems in your car wearing off your tyres, you would have to go for a two-stop, which ended up costing you three positions again. But you were patient and you were rewarded when the other cars had to pit, which gave you back the four places you had lost.
The race you went on and you barely moved up or down from your P5, but you managed to concentrate.
Jace, on the other hand was sounding more and more worried about your second pit stop, about the difficulty in get closer to P4, about the P6 trying to enter DRS zone behind you, with your tyres wearing off, with the-
“Jace, I love you but please shut the fuck up, I know what to do,” you were praying for a miracle when suddenly, there was a yellow flag, and the safety car went out during the perfect window of laps, “fuck, Jace, this is plan star.”
“Copy,” he paused, his voice sounding secure, “Box, box.”
You changed into hards, no one else went to the pits, and the race restarted after three more laps. The safety car had closed the gap between you and the P4, which made you overtake him easily.
Jace was still keeping quiet to help your concentration, he only interrupted to warn you about overheating your tyres, and your velocity per lap compared to the next position. You started overtaking like a madwoman as much as your tyres allowed.
“That’s P1, Lioness,” Jace told you.
“Copy that.” You said with your voice shaken.
As you managed your P1, you went back to be aware of your surroundings, seeing a Red Bull right behind you, trying to overtake but you managed to hold position.
When you took the checkered flag, you sighed with relief, Kimi was right.
“Congratulations, Y/N! That’s a brilliant, brilliant win!” Jace’s voice was sounding shaken too.
“You’re crying, Jace?” You laughed softly.
“It’s an honor to tell you that you, Y/N Y/L/N, are a Formula 1 world champion!” Jace shouts, and behind him you can hear more people screaming.
“What? Jace you’re fucking with me!”
“No, Lioness, you’re the 2022 champion of the world!”
“But- but how? There’s one race left? And Max was right behind me!”
“No, Verstappen DNFed during that one yellow flag. Behind you was Perez.”
You made the calculations quickly in your head. Max was P2 in the championship, but this DNF meant no points, and even if he managed to win the last race in Abu Dhabi, he wouldn’t be able to equal you in points. So-
“OH MY GOD, oh my god!” You screamed your lungs out, feeling the tears streaming down into your balaclava, “Fuck yes! I’m Formula 1 World Champion! Thank you, thank you so much guys! Jace, holy shit, I’m the champion!”
“You’re the champion!” Jace confirmed.
You felt joy in a way you hadn’t felt in a long, long time, as you stopped your car on the number one spot. Still a little dizzy from the thrill, you left the car, going straight to your team, heavily waiting for you. They all hugged you, hitting your helmet, saying congratulations and everything. You took a moment to hug Jace and Amanda, who had been of great support throughout the year.
After getting weighted and being congratulated by the other two on the podium, Perez and Hamilton, the latter hugging you tight as he took you off the floor, you drank water as you waited for the post race interview with Nico Rosberg.
You were giddy, barely holding yourself together with how happy you were feeling, how you wanted to hold the trophy, how grateful you were and more importantly, how you felt a great weight being lifted off your shoulders.
“Y/N, congratulations on becoming a World Champion! I have to say, as a girl dad, it is great to see you become the first woman ever to win this title. How do you feel? What do you want to say?” Nico offered, with a kind smile.
“To be honest, I can barely contain myself. It’s such an honor to be here and be the world champion. I look at the past and see my younger self who never thought would make it to Formula 1. It’s such a dream come true, after this year’s hardships, I’m glad to achieve the greatest dream of them all!” You said, kinda quickly, rambling as you tried to put into words all the emotions mixed with the happiness, “I’m sorry, I know I’m taking up all your time, I just want to dedicated this win, and this championship to three people who saved my life: Kimi, thank you for being the salvation of my career when we first met; And my mom, who’s not here anymore, thank you for being the light in my darkest days. And lastly, I want to thank myself for working my ass off and never giving up.”
You muttered a thank you as Nico only laughed at your rambling. Before you moved to the cooldown, you grabbed the mic back again.
“May I add one last thing?” You asked for Nico, who only nodded, pointing to the camera again, “This is to my father: I made it, you asshole.”
You wanted to send the middle finger too, but you knew you couldn’t because of the FIA’s guidelines, and you were already risking a penalty for cursing on live TV. In the cooldown room, you sat beside Lewis, watching a few highlights of the race on the screen. It showed a couple of your overtakes.
“Damn, you overtook like crazy,” Lewis muttered, seemingly amazed.
“I pulled a Lewis Hamilton in Interlagos last year,” you joked, and he laughed.
That podium felt like the culmination of everything you had worked for your whole life, felt like recovering your love for the sport for what it was, for the fast cars and the adrenaline. Being on that podium in Brazil as a World Champion shifted something inside you forever. During your anthem, you laughed, and when you got the trophy, you cried, pointing the trophy to the sunny sky with a silent prayer to your mom. You barely noticed, but you felt the champagne raining on you, and opened your arms to shower in it. Putting the trophy down, you splashed the other bottle, laughing and wetting everyone that was close to you, Lewis, Checo, Jace, who had gone up representing the team.
When the celebration ended, you stayed behind a little more, watching the crowd from the podium, and they started chanting. It took you a few seconds to realize they were chanting your name.
You raised your trophy at them, and they cheered even louder. Then you pointed it to the sky again.
“Look, ma, I made it” you whispered to yourself, feeling the tears streaming down your face.
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sturniqlo · 6 months ago
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HIS TWO GIRLS- MATT STURN
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summary: dad!matt husband!matt headcannons with his wife and daughter
cw: fluff, slight cursing
an: there will be many time jumps, from where their daughter was a baby to a girl in college | lowercase intended
masterlist
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dad!matt who always takes pictures whenever he's sees his two girls together doing anything and everything.
"careful, sweetie." his wife says as their three year old daughter cracks an egg into a bowl of cake mix. "did it!" the little girl cheers throwing her hands up. matt quickly takes out his phone and captures a picture of y/n smiling down at their daughter.
"ready?" y/n tells the little girl who is standing at the edge of the pool, floaty around her waist. "daddy i'm scared!" she turns back at matt who is sitting on a lounge chair, towel wrapped around him while he holds his phone up with the camera app open. "you can do it, baby. mommy will catch you!" he encourages her. "okay! here i go, mommy!" she jumps and matt captures the moment.
"what's going on here?" matt says, walking into the bathroom where he sees his wife and thirteen year old daughter. "she wanted bangs before she starts school, so i'm about to cut them." she parts her hair. "wait, don't cut them so short!" their daughter shrieks as she sees her mom putting the scissors to high up. "i'm not, just measuring." she murmurs, focusing on her daughters hair. "i'm about to cut it, matt, move. makin' me nervous." matt laughs. "i haven't said anything." he takes his phone out, capturing the moment when she cuts her hair. shock on both of their faces when they realized it's too short. "mom!" "matt, can you make a appointment at the hair salon." she puts the scissors down on the counter.
their daughter was back home from college for her winter break, and time to relax from many exams. matt had returned home from work and heard giggling from the kitchen and soft music playing. peering through the corner, he sees his two favorite girls rolling out dough for cinnamon rolls. something they always loved to bake together. he pulls out his phone and takes multiple pictures before making himself known.
dad!matt who cries on any milestone their daughter achieved/meets
"matt stop! i promised myself i wouldn't cry!" she lightly swats his chest, seeing his tears fall down to his cheeks as they watch their little girl walk in line to enter her classroom for her very first day of pre-k. "i can't help it, look at her." he points, they see their daughter wave at them with a smile, her two pigtails swinging. "oh my god, i can't look anymore." his wife's tears start falling.
"are you crying?" y/n giggles. "stop making fun of me!" matt wipes his tears looking away from his two girls. "look at it, her tooth is so small." she places it on a napkin. "there's a hole in my mouth!" their daughter screams from the bathroom down the hall.
"oh, look. she's next!" y/n pats matt's shoulder as she sees their daughter about to cross the stage. "here come my tears, shit. chris, record on my phone!" he passes his phone to chris who's sitting next to nick. "matt, my mascara." y/n taps her under eyes with a tissue. "look! she's about to walk." they all get up and cheer for her as she walks and waves at them. outside, they take pictures matt can't help but cry. "dad, why are you crying?" his daughter giggles. "look at you, you're growing up and you're about to leave for college. how could i not cry?"
"matt, why are you crying? she just used the toilet? "because she won't be using diapers anymore, she's growing up!"
dad!matt who always goes in daddy daughter dates every friday
"you ready, sweetie?" matt says as he sees his five year old daughter sitting on the couch. "yep! where are we going today?" she jumps off the couch, walking to her dad. "we're going to lunch and then we're going to do anything you want." he grabs her small hand, walking them to the front door. "excuse me, little miss? are you not going to say bye to me?" y/n dramatically gasps as she comes down the stairs.
"i'm not sure if your mom will let us go anywhere alone again." matt says, as he look back at his ten year old daughter in the back seat holding a small puppy. since she gets to choose whatever they do, she decided to to a animals shelter. when they walked in, the worker showed them a litter of puppies that had found in a dumpster. "let's get one." she had said and matt had gotten the paperwork. here they are now. "at lease we got a puppy." she said. at home, they had tried to sneak through the back door but, y/n was unfortunately in her garden nursery. "oh hey, you two. what'd you guys do to-" she drops her small gardening shovel. "matthew? why is she holding a puppy. and why are you holding dog food, bed and toyy?" she sighs. "surprise?"
matt and y/n's daughter had been away at college for about four months now. she had missed waking up to smelling her mom making breakfast, gardening with her, going shopping, baking and cooking. something she had especially missed was her weekly daddy daughter dates with matt. two weeks earlier, she had called her mom and let her know of her plan. y/n was excited, knowing how much matt had missed his weekly days out with their daughter. she had booked their daughter a ticket so she could come home for a week. "hey, matt! can you get the door?" y/n excitedly bit her lip. "who's coming over?" he gets up off the couch and walks towards the door. "not sure." she follows trying not to ruin the surprise. as he opens the door he gasps at who's behind it. "ready for our date?" "oh my gosh, you're here!"
"where you goin'?" y/n asks giggling, as he sees matt and their one year old daughter on his hip come down the stairs in matching outfits. "thought me and this little one should go to the park, and give you some needed alone time from the crazy one." he walks to her, placing a hand on the small of her back to lean down and give her a goodbye kiss. "the crazy one being you?" she mumbles against his lips. "okay." he says and she laughs. "we'll be back later. say bye to mommy." he looks at the baby on his hip and waves at y/n so the little girl can copy. "bye-bye." she does a small wave.
husband!matt who also loves going on weekly dates/ alone time with his wife and makes his brothers babysit
"should we?" y/n second guesses her and matt's first night out ever since their daughter came into the world. "yes, it's much needed, okay? we both need a break once in a while from parenting. it's been five months of straight craziness." he rubs her cheeks as they stand in the middle of their room. "you're right, but we've never been away from her for so long, the most we've left her with chris and nick was probably an hour max."
"and make sure you guys burp her a couple of minutes after feeding her, and no screen time for her, we don't want her to be an ipad kid. and-" matt gets interrupted by chris. "matt we get it, we babysat her last week and the many weeks before that." nick giggles at a funny face the baby did while holding her. "shoo shoo, parents night out, whoo! go do- whatever you guys were going to do." he pushes the couple out the door. "send me pictures, please. i can't go a couple of hours without seeing her face." y/n says before chris closes the door. "got it!" he says. "and don't forget-" matt gets cut off by chris slamming the door in his face. "did he just slam my own door in my own face?"
"any reason why we're not babysitting at your house?" nick says going through the baby bag. "no reason at all." matt smiles, "we thought she could use a change of scenery for once." chris fakes gags. "yeah, right." he says. "oh shut it, chris. sorry you can't get nothing." y/n places her daughter in his hands. at the door, nick follows to show them out. "please don't give us another niece or nephew until this one can do everything on her own, not sure if we can handle two babies at once."
"miss having you all to myself, babe." matt brings y/n's knuckles up to his lips to kiss them, pressing a longer kiss onto her the finger where her sparkly ring sits. this was another week where they dropped off their daughter at chris and nick house instead of having them babysit here. "yeah, me too. but i love our little family." she wraps her arms around him before falling backwards on the bed. "me too, care to expand it?" he kisses along her jaw, down her neck. "i would love to." she says before he slowly undresses her and unbuckles his belt.
husband!matt who reminds y/n to dedicate a whole day to herself to get a break from mom life
"no, matt, she needs me." she sighs. "i know, i know. but, you need a break too, even if it's from your own baby. i know we have our dates but you need a day for you. you're here at home with her all day everyday, i know you get overwhelmed sometimes." he puts her purse in her hand. "so, go out and come back whenever you want. you can get some coffee, eat lunch, get your nails done, i know you miss doing that, hang out with friends. whatever you want, m'kay?" he kisses her forehead. "are you sure?" "yes, baby."
"y/n your sister is here!" matt lets his sister-in-law in the house. "my sister? why is she here?" y/n says confusingly, feeding her eight month old daughter her bottle. "ouch?" her sister says and matt laughs. "it's your day!" matt says "i had one last week, though." "so? here, i'll finish feeding her. go get ready."
"a girls trip?" y/n says into her phone, talking to her best friend. "i don't know, matt works the whole week and i have nobody to watch the baby." matt walks into the kitchen where y/n is cooking. "oh! matt just got home." he goes to y/n and kisses her cheek. "where is she?" he refers to their daughter "she's napping." "so, what do you say, y/n?" her best friend says. "i'm going to have to pass up on that, sorry." "pass up on what?" matt says, grabbing a piece of garlic bread y/n had taken out of the over earlier. "i was just telling y/n about going on a girls trip." there's some ruffling in the background. "she's in." matt grabs yet another piece. "what? i am?" matt nods. "im sure i can pull some strings at work. you deserve a girls trip."
dad!matt who is overprotective over his daughter when it comes to boys
"that little boy is tooo close to her for my liking." matt mumbles to y/n "matt, they're six, and they're just standing in line." she says, laughing. "still."
"why're you so smiley and giggly today?" matt told his daughter as he picked her up from school, deciding that y/n should go to a spa to treat herself. "nothing!" she says in a singsong tone. "you're being suspicious." he opens the car door for her to get in. "timmykissedmycheekatrecess!" she blurts out and covers her mouth right after. "what was that, honey?" he says confusingly as he didn't understand her. "nevermind." "oh, okay?" later that day, y/n and their fifth grader were at the dinner table doing homework while matt finished up some online work. "guess what, mom." "what?" she smiles. "remember timmy?" she nods. "i remember him, yes." she recalls her daughters crush. matt, in the living room can't help but eavesdrop. "he kissed my cheek at recess today." matt gasps in the living room. "is that so? does dad know? he picked you up today." "now i know!" he says from the living room, getting up to meet them at the dining room. "who's timmy?"
"hey, dad." the now sophomore in high school walks into her dads office with a fruit bowl for him. "hey, sweetie. bring my wallet, i know you want something." he says looking up from his laptop, taking the bowl of fruit from her. "no, no, i don't want you to buy me something this time." she laughs and wraps her arms around him. "okay, you're scaring me." he hugs her back. "can i go out with a friend tomorrow after school?" she whispers. "have you asked mom." she nods. "she told me to ask you." "okay then, you can go." she lets go of him. "great, okay, because it's a date." she says quickly before she tries to walk out. "wait, wait, wait. come back here." she groans. "dad, you and mom said yes already." she turns back to face him. "does you mom know it's a date?" she nods. "and she's okay with it?" "yes, she was happy for me." "i want to meet them first, so come over here first and then you two can go." she gasps. "really? you're letting me go?!" he nods. "unfortunately, but, i know it's a part of you growing up, it was bound to happen anyways."
"mom, i would like you to meet, my boyfriend." she motions her arms to her boyfriend she met back at college. "it's nice to finally meet you, ms.sturniolo." the boy shakes her hand. "please, call me y/n. and it's nice to finally meet you too, i've heard many good things about you." she looks at y/n. "is dad home?" her daughter asks. "nope, unfortunately, he had to run into work really quickly to sign some papers. he'll be back soon though." the girl was a bit nervous for her dads reaction to meeting her boyfriend. he could be a bit overprotective sometimes. "i'm home! is my wonderful daughter here yet?" matt walks through the door and hour after she had arrived. "dad!" she runs to her dad who she hasn't seen in a couple of months. "oh, i missed you so much!" he hugs here, kissing her forehead, temple and cheek. "is he here?" he whispers. "yes, please don't do anything to scare him, he's nervous as is." she whispers back. "no promises." "dad!" he laughs. "kidding, kidding" he holds his hands up in surrender.
"who's noah?" matt holds his daughters phone up, as it was blowing up next to him while she was in the kitchen making a snack as matt's chicken got burned so now they're waiting until y/n gets home to eat an unburned meal. "a friend." she says, eating a spoonful of her cereal. "why is he telling you 'see you tomorrow love you so much?'" matt emphasizes on the he. "she is the friend i'm hanging out with tomorrow and me and her always tell each other we love one another." matt's face turns red in embarrassment. "oh- well she sent you some other messages, sorry."
dad&husband!matt who always reminds his wife and daughter how much he loves them.
"where are my two favorite girls?" matt walks into the living room, hiding his hands behind his back holding something. "we're here! we're here!" the seven year old little girl says from the carpeted floor where she was coloring with her mom. "hi, babe." y/n says. "alright, who's favorite color is pink?" he asks, already knowing the answer. "me, me, me!" the little girl gets up. "i believe these are for you." he pulls out a bouquet of pink roses from behind him. the little girl gasps. "they're so pretty!" "and who's favorite color is red?" he asks the little girl. "that's mommy's favorite color! mommy, he got you the same ones but in red!" "thank you, baby." y/n kisses his lips. "i love you two very much, okay?" he hugs both of them.
"you're amazing, i hope you know that." he kisses his wife's forehead as she just gave birth to their daughter a few hours ago. "thank you, matt." she says tiredly. "i love you so much, so so much. never forget that." he says as she slowly starts to fall asleep. "i love you more, matt." two hours later, y/n is still napping, and matt has been contacting and responding to more of their families messages until he hears his newborn start to cry. not wanting y/n to wake up he quickly gets up at attends to her. "hi, little one. don't cry, don't want mommy to wake up. she's been through so much, yeah?" he cradles her in his arms and she quickly stops crying and opens her eyes and stares at him. "look at your eyes, so much like your mommy's, and your little nose. you're beautiful." he rubs her small cheek with his finger. "i love you so much, and i will do everything to show you just how much. i'll do everything to protect you and your mommy, everything to take care of you two." he whispers. "i love my two girls."
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neptuneiris · 1 year ago
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Behind the Scenes (01/05)
Behind the Reencounter
pairing: actor!aemond × fem!reader
summary: Due to your work as a make-up artist and wardrobe assistant, you meet Aemond, a very successful young actor with whom you work and all professional relationship breaks down and a secret relationship arises, until you get pregnant and decide to run away from him so as not to ruin his successful and promising career. After almost two years, you and he unexpectedly meet again.
word counter: 7.6k
series masterlist • next part
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hello! i'm back with another mini series! yay!
god, i'm so excited about this, it's nothing like what i've written before but the excitement and inspiration got the better of me.
also i must say that i had seen stories with this plot about daddy aemond and i wanted to make my own, adding angst, which i know you like and a story that i came up with that i really hope you like a lot:)
without more to say, enjoy beautiful people, I look forward to your comments, don't leave me without knowing what you think please!
warnings: angst, language, sexual content, smut
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Your state of nervousness and anticipation is not much of help when it comes to the first day of your new job.
The film studio is a world of constant activity and you know that just on your first day it's going to be hectic. At least in your area which is Wardrobe and Makeup, it's a completely active area and you have to be available almost all the time.
You let out a long breath and before you leave, you stop in the studio's small nursery where your son, Aenar, barely a year old, spends his day while you work on set.
You can't help but watch him with adoration, a certain sadness and longing, for nothing would make you happier than to stay here with him, but you know you can't afford it.
These last few months have been hard, your income has been complicated and you need the money from this new job to be able to survive and make sure nothing is missing for him, your little boy.
Aenar crawls on the floor, exploring the world around him, while the woman in charge keeps her distance from you and him, taking care of other children. And when his big, curious blue eyes look up at you, he lets out a giggle of joy and stretches out his arms to you.
You bend down with him and take him in your arms tenderly and adoringly.
"You don't want me to leave, do you?" you murmur fondly as you leave a kiss on his cheek.
He babbles excitedly, unable to formulate coherent words, but his smile completely lights up your insides and you respond with giggles and smiles.
You take advantage of the little time you have before work to play and laugh with him for a moment. But eventually your time to leave arrives.
You leave a kiss on his forehead and with a sigh of defeat, you say goodbye.
"Mommy has to go but she'll be back soon, okay, my little dragon?"
His little hands explore for a second all over your face, making you laugh and you leave a couple more kisses on both of his chubby cheeks, loving to hear his laughter and loving to see the huge smile he places on his pink lips.
"I love you, sweetheart."
You leave one more kiss on his forehead and make sure one last time to cover his head well with his cap, taking advantage of the fact that it's November and Winter has arrived to hide his straight hair.
You distract him with all the colorful toys that are distributed on the floor for all the children and take the opportunity to leave, otherwise he will cry if he sees you leaving. You exchange a look of understanding with the woman in charge and finally head back to your workplace.
The trailer door opens with a soft creak as you enter, feeling the mixture of excitement and nervousness run down your spine. You had been looking forward to this moment with anticipation, but also apprehension.
For you knew that your past would come back to haunt you.
But you know you need to be here.
The first thing you see are the lighted mirrors with their respective chairs and vanities in front of them, where makeup and wardrobe experts hurry to prepare the actors for the day's filming.
A scent of pressed powder and beauty products fills the air, creating a familiar atmosphere. And when you barely have time to absorb the scene, a brown-haired girl approaches you with an enthusiastic, warm smile.
"Hi! Y/N, right? The new makeup artist."
She points at you with her index finger and a thoughtful look, without wiping away her smile.
"Hi, yes, it's me," you nod to her, as you return the small smile.
"Perfect! I'm Jess, the wardrobe assistant," she extends her hand to you in a friendly gesture, "Nice to meet you and welcome!"
You can't help but be relieved by the friendly reception, then shake your hand with hers.
"Nice to meet you too, Jess. Thank you for having me."
"Oh we're so excited to have you here, I've been looking forward to your arrival," she confides, "Let me show you where you can drop your stuff off and then I'll give you directions, okay?"
Again you nod, grateful for the kindness of Jess, who leads you toward a row of lockers where you can store your things, then gives you directions.
"First, let's go over the schedule for the day," she tells you, opening a folder with the itinerary for the shoot. "We have this first scene where we need to make sure every detail is perfect. And you'll be in charge of the wardrobe for the main characters today."
She indicates without losing the kindness in her tone and you nod, understanding.
"So, take the wardrobe list for each actor and check that we have everything in order."
He hands you a detailed list, making sure that you with your new addition are aware of every detail.
"After that, we'll move on to makeup," she instructs you, "Sam, our talented makeup artist, will give you a brief orientation on the look we're going for. Don't worry, she's amazing and will guide you through the whole process."
Jess grabs a pair of robes and hands them to you.
"Now, let's get to work on the wardrobe. When you've gone through everything, head over to the makeup area, okay?"
Again you nod, understanding the directions perfectly and dive into your tasks with enthusiasm, getting off to a very good start and feeling completely comfortable.
Besides, this is nothing you haven't done before, as way back when you used to work for the BBC television network right here in King's Landing as well, this was your job, so there's nothing new or complicated for you.
When Jess, frantically going through her checklist, looks up at you.
"Oh, Y/N, we need more pins for costume fixes. Could you go to the prop depot and get a package, please? I'd really appreciate it."
You nod with a small smile.
"Sure, I'll be right back."
With a determined pace, you step out of the trailer and head to the depot which isn't far away and start looking for the package, which you didn't think would take you some time since there are so many packages of different things mixed up.
You search through many huge boxes, until you finally find the package of pins and let out a relieved sigh.
You leave the huge room and close the door behind you, walking back. And as you walk, as you pay attention to your surroundings, you feel a mixture of nostalgia and nervousness, as these hallways, permeated with the buzz of film activity, take you back to memories you've been trying to bury.
You let out a long breath, not wanting to think about it now, and concentrate on your work.
As you enter back into the trailer, everything is immersed in a constant murmur of conversations and the activity of preparations, at the same time as the trailer door closes with a soft click behind you.
You are about to enter the area where the tables and chairs and mirrors and everyone else are when you hear a somewhat familiar voice in a distant echo in the middle of it all, completely stopping your footsteps.
"…they said at the training scene I wasn't supposed to look any different in particular."
You frown, thinking that maybe you're mishearing and are mistaking that voice for someone else's.
But still you advance just three steps, sharpening your hearing with a wary face, waiting, wanting to make sure.
"And which one of these for that scene?" you hear one of the girls in charge of wardrobe.
You wait for the answer from that attentive and completely cautious voice, thinking that it must probably be a figment of your mind that wants you to believe things that aren't.
"I think the brown one," you hear that voice say back to the girl.
Your heart stops completely in that instant.
No.
It can't be.
You think completely incredulous and terrified.
You stand completely paralyzed and with a face of total shock as the sound of that voice continues to echo softly throughout the interior of the trailer, flowing conversation between him and the makeup artist.
The pulse in your throat beats with a mixture of surprise and anxiety, suddenly losing strength in your body, so you lean against one of the walls as you feel an emotional vertigo begin to emerge.
All those buried memories, suddenly resurface, as it is no imagination of yours and you know it is him because his voice has not changed and you could recognize it anywhere.
It is him.
He is here.
You close your eyes for a moment, trying to regain control of your emotions, but you can't, and you can't believe this is happening right now, on your first day of work.
Completely cautious, you slowly peek out, wanting to be even more sure and wanting to see that it's all just your mind making it up.
But as soon as you catch a glimpse of that signature flash of platinum hair, your heart rate begins to race faster than normal.
And there he is, with his hair pulled back in a small low bun as he discusses the details of the scene with the makeup artist, a scene that resonated with similarities to moments you and he shared in the pass.
Disbelief completely invades your eyes and your entire face as you watch him, surprised to see him after exactly one year since that day. You notice every gesture and every feature that is still etched in detail in your mind.
He, oblivious to your presence, continues the conversation, but something in your expression begins to tremble.
You go back in time to the spark you both shared in the corridors of that studio, the looks of complicity, the many nights you shared together and the whispers in the dim light of the dressing rooms.
But you also remember that day, when you saw him completely frustrated but willing to be there for you, where his manager and his entire team talked to him about the consequences and you also remember everything he promised you, on hidden, which is why you decided to run away when you were only three weeks pregnant with him.
A lump forms in your throat and standing there, watching him, after so long, tears begin to invade your eyes.
But Jess announces your presence as she emerges from the back where the dressing rooms are, watching you at the entrance completely static and with a look she can't instantly identify.
"Y/N! There you are! Did you get the pins?"
And that's when it happens.
Saying your name loud enough for everyone inside the trailer to hear, it catches his attention, who confused and attentive watches where Jess is heading and that's when the gazes meet.
And in that instant, a spark of recognition crosses the face of Aemond, Aemond Targaryen, the man you decided to run away from so as not to ruin his career and the father of your child.
His healthy eye opens wide and surprise and disbelief overcome him as he sees you, right there, less than five meters away from him, the woman who carried his child with her and whom he sought so much after she disappeared completely from his life.
Silent, with the urgency of tears threatening to overflow, you step back, watching him cautiously and fearfully, at the same time beginning to tremble all over.
"Y/N," he utters your name with a tone of surprise and longing, as if he can't believe it, beginning to slowly rise from the chair.
You recoil further, as all the sadness, pain and anguish wash over you as you remember the past and think at the same time of your son, your sweet little boy.
However, your first instinct is to run away. Again.
Without a word and without looking back, you turn around and exit the trailer quickly before you could no longer hold back and tears involuntarily flow from your eyes, taking with you the image of Aemond and the echoes of a past you cannot escape and forget.
You don't care about your job, you don't care that you left everything just like that, you only think about running away and going quickly for your son, crying and completely terrified.
Aemond watches you walk away, unable to move and unable to speak, with a look of deep disbelief, surprise, bewilderment, regret and remorse while the people around him do not understand anything.
He knows that he made many mistakes in the past and he knows that you have a right to feel upset and hurt. But he also knows that you also made mistakes and you recognize that too.
But for now, you run away and he stands still, losing strength, where you both barely process what just happened and at the same time travel to the past, where it all started and where it all ended.
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ALMOST 2 YEARS AGO.
At just twenty-one years old, you barely graduated from college and landed a great job opportunity with the BBC television network to work as a professional makeup artist and wardrobe assistant.
And now at the age of twenty-two and having been working for the network for two years, your life couldn't be better.
You have the job of your dreams, you have achieved so much despite the fact that your parents had no faith in you for choosing to study something that didn't guarantee you a future, and now your income is enough to allow you to live an independent life where you lack nothing.
When then, a new project comes up, a new TV series where you participate full time and where you are passionate about what you do.
That's when you meet him, one of the main actors of the show, Aemond Targaryen, a young, successful twenty-four year old actor who has already attracted the attention of the show business in his early days with a very promising future.
But it was not only for his incredible talent, he was also recognized and attracted a lot of attention for his unusual appearance, beautiful bright blue eye and a peculiar long platinum hair.
In his interviews he explains the origin of the genetic descriptions of him and his family, which is what causes a lot of doubt in every interviewer and also in his fans, wanting to know his origin.
That's why when they tell you that you will be assisting him in his makeup and wardrobe, you can't help but feel nervous but also a little excited to work with him.
And when the day finally arrives, Aemond Targaryen is actually quite a nice and accessible man to work with.
In the first few weeks of working and shooting the show, your interaction with him was completely professional.
You take it upon yourself to bring out the best in his image for the screen, where he does his part, always being friendly, willing and cooperative with you to follow directions and achieve the perfect look.
Always both of you at the beginning had normal and casual conversations to start forming trust, where everything becomes routine.
And it's not until he would say anything silly to make you laugh and where you both got to the point where you allowed yourselves to talk completely freely without being judged.
The shared laughs and casual comments created a comfortable and relaxed atmosphere, where the relationship started to become more friendly and slowly stopped being so strictly professional.
And when you least expected it, you looked forward to working with him, doing his makeup and wardrobe, enjoying his company.
Even when he would arrive first at the trailer to get ready, he would look forward to your arrival.
And when you arrived, you couldn't help but smile a little shyly in his direction because of his intense gaze on you through the mirror, making you feel a little nervous.
As you carefully applied his makeup, Aemond couldn't help but notice that attention you paid to every detail on him, having you so close to his face, being a moment he also longed for it to come.
And as the days passed, accidental brushes and gestures that went beyond professionalism began to emerge.
During makeup sessions, the glances became more intense and prolonged, as if you were looking for something beyond the superficial appearance, where you noticed how he was looking at you beyond the professional surface.
But it wasn't something that bothered you, on the contrary, it made you feel inexplicable sensations that at the same time pleased you, knowing perfectly well that he wasn't like that with anyone else in your area, only with you.
And you both also made sure to act that way only when it was just the two of you or to do it subtly when you were around other people.
But you also knew the dangerous game you were both playing.
However, it was too late, you really started to like him too much even though you knew that the idea of him and you could not be possible.
In the film industry, relationships between colleagues are technically not allowed or frowned upon. Rumors and speculation about romances can alter fan perceptions and, in some cases, affect job opportunities.
In addition, you both have studio contracts and other projects in progress. And acting in such a way, where the intention of both is more than clear, can affect casting decisions and the perceptions of directors and producers.
And for Aemond, being an up-and-coming young actor with a solid fan base, the revelation of an affair can bring negative criticism to his public image.
His manager and team have told him that maintaining the coveted bachelor image may be convenient and commercially advantageous for him in his projects to attract audiences, as he is attractive and very talented.
Even though he had an accident as a child where he lost his left eye and now wears a prosthesis, that attracts more attention from people and they want to know more about him, causing him to be more relevant.
But all this mattered little to Aemond as he shared more moments with you.
As the relationship became more enjoyable, his feelings and emotions became more and more evident and so did yours, starting to overcome the barrier imposed by the entertainment industry.
And one day that line of professionalism that both were trying to maintain but was becoming increasingly difficult, finally broke down completely.
On a filming afternoon, you and Aemond meet in the wardrobe area, where you make sure he looks perfect in his required clothes for the day and he stands completely still, cooperating and watching you at all times.
The conversation between the two of you flows naturally, as it has so many times before, but this time, something in the air seems different, like a gentle tension.
"After we finish this final scene, we should go celebrate, don't you think?"
He suggests with a soft little smile, but his eye reflects an intensity and that desire he can't hide when he's with you.
"Sure," you say with a willing little smile, still securing his clothes, "With John, Rose and Lana?" you mention your partners.
"No," he murmurs, shaking his head softly, "Just you and me."
You look directly into his eye with a slightly surprised and bewildered look, not expecting to hear that, beginning to feel nervous at his words and also at the proximity of the two of you.
"But…" you look at him a little incredulously and with a small sad and disappointed smile, "We can't."
"Yes we can," he tells you softly, "We just have to be very careful and not tell anyone."
You watch him with a small spark of amusement on your face, smiling softly in his direction, not believing he's serious.
And it is at that moment that the looks on both of your faces makes it clear that the connection you both share is deeper than you both believed and where Aemond, more than anything else, makes his true intentions clear and wants to put them into practice, after so long.
A complicit silence surrounds the two and it is as if time stands still for an instant.
Aemond, with a soft expression, unable to contain himself any longer, gently takes your face in his hands and you let him, because you want him, even though you shouldn't.
"There's something I've wanted to do for a long time," he confesses, his voice laden with sincerity.
You, intrigued and captivated by the intensity in his eye, his beautiful blue eye and the closeness of the bodies, look at him with attention and desire.
"What is it?" you murmur, almost in a whisper.
And without another word, Aemond leans toward you and closes the distance between you, bringing his lips together with yours in a needy but slow and deep kiss that you reciprocate instantly.
It all happens in an instant of surprise, followed by a sweet surrender to the attraction that had grown between the two of you.
Time comes to a complete stop as you both sink into that first kiss, where Aemond's hands gently grip your waist and you respond with the same intensity by locking your arms around his neck and clinging to his lips.
You don't want him to stop, you don't want any of this to end.
Everything feels perfect and just as you imagined in your fantasy mind of wanting to live this moment.
And the moment doesn't end, as he pulls you further into the dressing room while still kissing you, leaning you against a vanity and pressing your body completely against his, making you gasp and respond to his needy kiss in kind.
Unfortunately, the kiss doesn't last as long as you would have liked, as a voice screams throughout the trailer.
"Next scene in five minutes! Everyone to the set, please!"
You and Aemond part abruptly, with surprised and terrified looks on your faces, instantly keeping your distance and pretending nothing has happened.
You head along with him toward the set, trying to hide any trace of the intimacy you both shared moments ago. And as you immerse yourself in the frenetic pace of the shoot, the complicity between the two of you manifests itself in small gestures and stolen glances.
And that's when the little relationship secretly begins.
Keeping the relationship a secret became a balancing act for both of you. As the connection you and he shared intensified, the need to hide the relationship became more and more crucial.
In the trailer and on set when you were around more people, as he did you had to learn to act as naturally as ever, carefully concealing any trace of intimacy.
Encounters became completely secret, kisses and caresses behind dressing rooms or in the trailer when you were alone, always alert to the possibility of being discovered. Even in the dressing room, it became a meeting place, where they could enjoy a moment alone.
You could also talk freely by call or text, but both he and you preferred to see each other in person.
That's why on days off, which were few, Aemond always took you to more private places. One night, for example, he took you to dinner at a small restaurant outside of town.
If it wasn't a restaurant, it was to invite you to a small coffeeshop and more discreet places, out of the reach of prying eyes, where he still had to go covered by his characteristic hair.
And when neither of them had the spirit to be always alert, you went to his apartment or he to yours, where they could act with total freedom and even go further.
In Aemond you found a friend, an accomplice and practically the perfect man for you, not because of what he possesses and who he is out there for everyone to see, but because of who he really is, inside.
You simply couldn't help but fall deeply in love with him and that fortunately he reciprocated as strongly as you did, wanting you and only you.
And although the fear of discovery added a touch of dangerous excitement to the relationship, the weight of keeping it all a secret was beginning to generate emotional conflict.
The strain of keeping up appearances and the constant need for vigilance began to wear on you. And as the relationship progresses, you can't help but wonder if there will ever be a chance to be free with Aemond.
But you both know it's not possible.
Much less will it be when one day, Aemond lets you know the news.
"I need to talk to you about something," he says in a serious and defeated tone, taking your hands in his.
He has come unexpectedly to your apartment and that seemed strange to you, but now that he is telling you this and behaving like this, you know it is for a reason and it is not a good one.
"Is everything okay?" you ask him intently and with your brow furrowed.
He sighs before answering, looking sad.
"Production and my manager are pressuring me to fake a relationship with my co-star in a promotional campaign. They say it will help generate more interest in the show."
And there are the consequences of having this relationship on the quiet with him.
Aemond's face contorts in anguish as he sees the expression on your face of mild surprise and definitely not expecting to hear that.
"I promise you that I refused and did everything in my power not to do this Y/N, but I didn't accomplish nothing and…. I-It shouldn't take more than three months, I swear."
He explains, but the sharp pain in your chest is already there and remains, as you begin to imagine what this is all going to be like.
You press your lips together in a thin line and not knowing what to say or what exactly to do, you let out a long breath and watch your hands with his, processing what he is telling you and what he will have to do next.
Even though you understand the demands of the industry and everything about marketing, still the idea of Aemond faking a relationship with someone else makes you feel weird and uncomfortable.
But what can you really do? Nothing.
This is his job and you're not going to get upset with him when you know it's not his fault and that this is what he does in order to make a living.
"When?" you ask him watching him with your soft gaze but with a slightly sad expression.
He lets out a sigh.
"I don't know, I just know that they are already setting everything up," he tells you frustrated with his low and serious voice, "But I need you to be okay with this, Y/N," he looks at you worried, "I know it will be hard for both of us but I don't want this to affect us when you know the truth behind everything and why I do it."
You watch him for a few seconds without saying anything, as you feel a lump in your throat and also feel the helplessness he conveys for all of this, as he really doesn't want to do this.
But he must meet the professional expectations of the production company and you have no choice but to support him.
"Well," you say softly, trying to hide your hurt look by forcing a small smile to reassure him, "These are the production company's decisions and you must do it. And you don't need to worry about me, you know I'll support you."
He takes his gaze away from yours for a second, letting out a longer sigh than before, then takes your face gently in his hands.
"Of course I worried about you, sweetheart," he murmurs with tiredness, then draws you into a tight, tender embrace.
He leaves a gentle kiss on your head and even though he is relieved that you understood, he still feels remorse and anguish because if he were you, of course he would disagree and it would hurt quite a bit.
But this is work and he really doesn't have much choice.
And when you least expect it, the moment arrives.
The next few weeks are a complete whirlwind of emotions for you as you watch the fictional relationship of Aemond and his co-star, the famously gorgeous actress Cerelle Lannister, prepare to come to light.
Joint promotions take them both to photo shoots and interviews where they must show complicity and affection. And seeing Aemond sharing moments that used to be just yours and his, now in the public sphere with someone other than you, becomes a painful test.
One evening, you see photos of Aemond and Cerelle having dinner at a famous restaurant downtown and all the photos show the complicit smiles and affectionate gestures.
And even though you know it's part of the act, you can't help but feel a knot in your stomach seeing them together. And even worse, seeing how the public is fascinated and in love with their relationship.
It is for all this that you no longer see him frequently and there is only communication by messages.
And when he finally has a space in his schedule, he takes the opportunity to see you, where you at all times try to look as if you are not affected by all this, so as not to worry him and frustrate him when you know he has a lot of weight on his shoulders.
He still apologizes and tries to make it up to you, but in the midst of your soothing words, the pain is reflected in your gaze.
And that's what you do for the next few weeks, you continue to support him from the shadows while he and Cerelle put on a show and are the center of attention.
At first you had told yourself not to see anything about them on the internet, but you can't help it and you see the pictures, read the headlines in the magazines and with each new performance, you feel a slight sharp pain in your heart.
When the day of a big awards event arrives where directors, producers, script writers, the academy members, the press and of course the actors and actresses attend, where precisely Aemond and Cerelle attend together as a couple officially in front of all public eye.
Images and videos of the two sharing laughter and affectionate gestures spread through every social network, while you, from your apartment, watch the scene with a mixture of pride as this is important in Aemond's career but also feel a deep sadness that threatens to overflow.
You wish it was you instead of her.
It's been months since you and Aemond started this relationship behind everyone's back and you want that, to be able to touch him and be with him in public.
But you can't.
And you can't stand this anymore either.
You decide to watch movies and change the channel, not wanting to focus on them anymore, trying to ignore your emotions and your wounded heart, not wanting to do anything else tonight but just forget and stay in the comfort of your bed.
After two hours, your phone starts ringing, indicating an incoming call and when you look at the screen, Aemond's name appears, but you decide not to answer.
You don't feel like talking to him, you don't want to get upset with him when he is not to blame for anything and start an unnecessary fight, so you prefer not to talk.
But after that call, Aemond insistent calls you a couple more times, in which you decide not to answer as well.
At your lack of response, he can't help but feel worried, thinking that you must be feeling bad because of him even though you understand why he's doing all this. And once the rewards are over, he in covered takes his car and drives to your apartment.
As he drives, his mind is filled with thoughts of how to talk to you and find the right words to ease the tension in both of you. But the nervousness doesn't let him think clearly nor has he forgotten the overwhelming awards he had to attend to.
Once he arrives at your door, he just hopes you're okay, even though he knows you're not and knocks three times.
"Y/N? It's Aemond," he says cautiously and hopeful that you will open the door, wanting to speak and see you.
The silence lingers for a few moments before you finally open the door, where the slight surprise of seeing him here at this hour is reflected in your gaze, not understanding anything. And he just sighs, feeling guilty.
"You didn't respond to my calls or messages and I got worried," he explains to you briefly and in a soft voice, "I needed to see you."
Despite all the emotions you're feeling, the fact that he's come looking for you shows you that he really cares about you and wants to do everything he can to make you okay.
You watch him silently for a moment and nod slowly in his direction with a look of understanding.
"I'm fine," you reply softly, wanting to convince him as well as yourself.
"No, I know you're not," he insists, concerned, "I-I… I know this is all very difficult and I don't want you to feel pressured, but…" he lets out a frustrated sigh, "I'm here to talk if you need to."
Appreciating his sincerity silently and seeing how terribly worried he is, you let him in.
The two of you have a difficult but necessary conversation, where neither of you have any intention of ending this thing you have together and where he's willing to show you that he doesn't care about Cerelle, just you.
"I only want you, baby. You and no one else," he murmurs lovingly and with desire in his gaze, closing his eye and catching your lips in a needy, deep kiss.
You respond in kind, gasping into his lips and bringing your hands to stroke his hair, clinging to him completely as he brings his hands to your waist and ass, squeezing the soft skin of both your ass cheeks.
"Do you mean it?" you ask in the middle of the kiss, beginning to feel the wetness between your legs.
"Yes, I fucking mean it," he replies against your lips, biting and sucking on your lips again.
You moan as he begins to leave a trail of kisses all over your neck, biting and leaving little marks on your sensitive skin, making you shiver all over your body and begin to feel the hardness in his pants against your pelvis.
Absentmindedly he brings one of his hands up and caresses one of your breasts over your shirt, making you moan and continue kissing him as he brings his hands back down to your thighs.
"Oh, Aemond," you whine.
"Fuck," he murmurs in delight, making you wrap your legs around his torso and feel directly on your needy clit, his cock hard and in need of release, "Such a needy little thing, arent you?"
His mouth roams and kisses every exposed part of your skin, as he pulls you along with him towards your couch, making you sit on top of him and you desperately begin to seek relief as you cause friction between your bodies.
He groans into your mouth, feeling his cock throb and ache.
"Can I take this off?" he grabs the edge of your shirt and you nod desperately, needy.
You are not wearing a bra and when your breasts are out in the open, Aemond lets out a curse as he stares at your breasts fully aroused to take one of your nipples into his mouth, making you arch and bring his face closer to your breasts.
Not long after that he too takes off his shirt and you free his cock from its confines and then start riding him, unable to wait a moment longer.
"Shit," he hisses, "You feel so good, baby. So fucking good."
You moan loudly as he brings one of his hands to your already swollen clit and starts massaging it with two fingers, making you moan and making you move your hips with more fervor on top of him, as your skin slaps and rattles with his beneath you.
That night, not only does he fuck you on your couch, he fucks you on your bed too, not being able to get enough of you, loving to see your whole face contorted in pleasure as he fucks you against your bed hard, his cock continually thrusting in and out of you, the sound of skin against skin being heard.
You bite down on his shoulder and wrap your legs around his torso again, feeling him deeper, as Aemond kisses you and draws his eyebrows together in concentration and pleasure.
"Are you going to let me fill this pretty pussy with my cum again, baby? I want to feel you fucking cum all over my cock."
He brings his hand to your clit again and begins to massage it furiously, wanting to watch you crumble and feel you do it around his cock, while you moan and bite his shoulder and neck.
"Oh y-yes, Ae-mond,"you moan.
You close your eyes, escape a quiet moan, arch your back fully and feel the whole wave of euphoria wash over your entire body, seeing stars behind your eyes.
And with one last hard thrust, Aemond cums inside you letting out a grunt and hiding his whole face in the curve of your neck, leaving a couple of wet kisses once you both come back to earth and melt into each other's arms.
A few weeks later, you're back at work and Aemond starts filming a new movie for Netflix, so you don't see each other as often as you used to.
Aemond's schedule is very tight and he still does everything he can to be able to see you and spend time with you, while you in comparison to him have more free time but can't spend it with him because of his work.
And it is in that same time that you start to feel strange, but you hadn't connected the dots until the signs became too obvious to ignore.
One day, while working on set, fatigue suddenly overwhelmed you and a persistent nausea made you realize that something was going on. Suddenly lack of appetite appeared and seeing things too sweet or chicken or meat meals made you sick to your stomach.
Or also weird cravings started, which your mind started to scare you with possibly confirming what you were thinking.
During a break in the filming, you discreetly retreat to the bathroom, feeling the need for a moment to yourself. And as you look in the mirror, you notice the pallor on your face and the different glow in your eyes.
Completely terrified, you wait for your break from work and rush to the pharmacy, buying three pregnancy tests of different brands and supposedly the best.
And once at home, everything is silent, as the seconds tick by and you feel like you are drowning in your own thoughts.
You're not ready to be a mom, in fact the thought of having children was never something you wanted or wanted in the long run, because you're still young, you have your dream job at only twenty-two years old and to stop focusing on your dreams and goals to focus on those of a child… it's not something you want.
But the pregnancy test you hold in your trembling hand confirms your suspicions, as do the other tests, all positive.
Fear totally grips you, not only because of the fact that you are pregnant, but because of the implications this brings to your life and also to Aemond's life.
God, Aemond.
You think completely terrified, starting to cry, feeling the pressure in your chest.
You know this will stop and totally ruin his career.
You imagine yourself facing the critical gaze of the media, the headlines of magazines and news websites, as well as the constant speculation about your personal life.
You feel completely scared and hopeless, having no idea what Aemond's reaction will be, but you know this is not good, a baby, right now is not good, not for you and certainly not for him.
But you must tell him. You know you must. Regardless, how could you keep something like this from him?
It takes you two days to finally get up the courage to tell him and as you wait for him in your apartment, the pregnancy test rests in your trembling, sweaty hands, feeling completely frightened amidst all the silence around you.
Your eyes burn from crying so much, you feel like you have no strength, you feel weak and you haven't been able to sleep well and you don't even want to imagine how you will be later when Aemond finds out and everything between you will probably go wrong.
The sound of the door makes you jump nervously, knowing it's him.
You feel more fear and uncertainty flood you but you force yourself to get up from your couch and head to open the door, feeling that you will burst into tears at any moment.
As you open it, Aemond's handsome face and his usual smile was nothing like your face, being quite the opposite, so noticing your state his smile drops and he looks at you completely distressed and worried as you let out a few tears silently.
"Hey, hey," Aemond holds your face in his hands, his thumbs gently caressing your cheeks. His concern is palpable in the way his eyes search yours for answers. "What happened, baby? Are you okay?"
You sniffle your nose, inhale deeply and keep your eyes closed for a moment, only causing Aemond more unease when you don't utter a word.
"Y/N, what happened?" he insists, his tone laden with anxiety and seriousness.
"I'm really sorry," you murmur sadly to him, feeling each word weigh heavy in your chest and a sense of hopelessness creep over you.
"You're sorry, for what? What happened?" he asks again, completely confused and uncomprehending.
"I'm… I-I'm pregnant," you mumble in a broken voice, as if uttering those words would make reality more concrete.
Aemond's face remains completely static, his eyes wide open, watching you as tears slide down your cheeks. The gravity of the news is reflected in the tense silence that appears between the two of you.
"What?" he mutters under his breath, barely audible but laden with disbelief.
You nod slowly, reaching out to him for the proof you hold in your trembling hand. And every second that passes as he analyzes it feels like an eternity as you wait for his reaction.
But he barely processes the information, takes the evidence between his fingers and the seconds stretch out like hours as you feel your heart beating too fast.
But Aemond's face shows neither anger nor joy.
And finally he reacts by bringing his hands to his hair, his eye fixed on the evidence for a moment and then looking at a spot in your living room, beginning to see frustration and surprise invade him more.
He lets out a sigh and turns his gaze back to you in a desperate manner.
"Hey, baby," he says to you now nervously, "Are you absolutely sure?"
You nod slowly.
"I did three tests, all three came back positive."
He brings a hand to his forehead, averting his gaze from yours for a moment. His eyes reflect tumultuous thoughts, a mixture of thoughts ranging from disbelief to concern.
"But how?" he watches you blankly, still with surprise painted in his gaze.
"You didn't use a condom and I took the pill, but it didn't work," you tell him in a hopeless voice, trying to explain the inexplicable.
"Oh, fuck," he murmurs, biting his lips and bringing a hand to his chin.
"I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't mean for this to happen either," you admit to him, your tears streaming down your cheeks.
You feel the need to apologize as if this burden is something only you should carry, the vulnerability clear in your tone of voice and on your face, which worries Aemond more at seeing you in such a state.
"Hey, no, don't, don't do that, don't apologize," he says instantly, turning back to you and placing a hand on your cheek, "We're both part of this, you understand me? You're not to blame for anything and I'm not going to leave you alone," he assures you, completely honest and determined with his words.
And despite the gravity of the situation, you feel a huge relief come over you knowing that you are not alone in this, as he looks at your sad face, with your dry tears and red eyes.
And then he places a soft kiss on your lips and encloses you in a comforting embrace that is all you need at that moment.
You knew that Aemond would eventually have to tell his manager and his team as well, however, you didn't expect him to do it on the same day you let him know the news and you didn't expect all his people to start working so soon on this, on your pregnancy.
You call his agent and in an instant he, along with his publicist and his team of public relations people, invade your apartment.
And his agent, Criston Cole, doesn't have time to start reproaching him for having had a secret relationship with you all this time, although the anger is there but the important thing is the baby on the way, where he can't do anything either because it's already in your womb.
So he only talks about solutions.
And it is precisely because of these painful solutions for you that you decided to run away and disappear from his life to save his career and also your child.
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sergeantbarnessdoll · 1 year ago
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Not Going To Fight You🩷 (Request)
My Best Friend’s Brother Is The One For Me🩷
Aircraft Fun❤️‍🔥 (Request)
Venting🩷 (Request)
New Mission Suit❤️‍🔥
Neighbor/Mechanic!Bucky Drabble❤️‍🔥
Buying Everything You Touch🩷 (Request)
Unexpected🩷🧡 (Request)
Daughter’s First Words🩷
Naughty Girl❤️‍🔥
Break Through❤️‍🔥 (Request)
Wisdom Teeth (with Steve Rogers)🩷 (Request)
Have Your Back Forever And Always🩷
Alpine meeting yours and Bucky’s newborn baby🩷 (Drabble)
Bucky finding out that you have a thing for his vibranium arm❤️‍🔥
Trying To Protect You🩷 (Request)
The Truth🩷🧡 (Request)
Ways To Help🩷 (Request)
Beautiful Eyes🩷 (Request)
Not A Burden (with Steve Rogers)🩷 (Request)
Love Them❤️‍🔥🩷 (Request)
Under Your Influence🩷 (Request)
Make Me Yours🩷❤️‍🔥 (Request)
Bucky treating you like a princess when you’re on your period🩷
Needy Girl❤️‍🔥
Cupcakes🩷
Bucky finds a kitten🩷
Bucky waking you up in the best way possible on your birthday❤️‍🔥 (Drabble)
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chloe-skywalker · 4 months ago
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Hate You? - Klaus Mikaelson
Klaus x Fem!reader daughter
Warnings: none
Word count: 600
Summary: Being Klaus’ daughter and he accidentally hurts you. So he’s worried that you might hate him now.
Masterlist
TVD Masterlist
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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“Niklaus.” Elijah enters Niklaus’ art room to see him painting rather harshly. “Why are you in here brooding?”
“I can’t.” Klaus grumbles out.
“Can’t what Klaus.” Elijah asks not understanding what his brother meant.
“I can’t go out there and face her. Not after what I did.” Klaus refuses to face his daughter after what the winter witches made him do.
“She doesn’t blame you.” Elijah tells his younger brother.
“She should. You all should.” Klaus shakes his head, never turning to even glance at his brother.
“I won’t blame my brother for accidentally hurting his daughter, my niece while under a spell done to him by some particularly bitchy witches.” Elijah shakes his head, he would never blame him for what happened.
“I almost killed her.” Klaus’ voice sounded strained. He was not coping well with the events that happened.
“Y/n is fine. Alive and healthy.” He wanted to assure him that his daughter was okay. That what the witches had him do didn’t really hurt her. “She misses you, and would like to see you.”
When Elijah received no answer from Klaus he let out a tired sigh and left him alone for now. Knowing his brother Elijah knew Klaus needed time to himself.
^     ^     ^
(2 weeks later)
“Dad?” Y/n called out entering her dad’s bedroom and seeing him sitting at the foot of his bed she asks. “Can I come in?”
“You shouldn’t be this close.” He tells her after she entered his room anyway when he didn’t answer.
“The spell's been broken for weeks. You’re fine now.” Y/n tells him moving to sit down next to him.
“You shouldn’t get to close.” Klaus scooted over on the bed afraid to be to close and hurt her again.
“You wouldn’t hurt me.” She shakes her head fully 100% positive that he’d never hurt her in his right mind.
“I did.” He says in a wobbly tone, trying not to break down.
“Not out of your own control. I know that. So should you.” Y/n told him with a reassuring smile.
“After the things I did, you should hate me.” Klaus shook his head not believing that she could want to be near him.
“Hate you?” Y/n raised an eyebrow at his words. She shakes her head. “I could never hate you.”
Once Y/n realized that they weren’t gonna get anywhere right now, that she was gonna have to let her words sink in first. So she got up and left.
Later that night Y/n was in her room under the covers on her phone when her bedroom door opened and she saw her father Klaus enter. Y/n put down her phone and adjusted herself sitting up in bed.
“So, you don’t hate me?” Klaus asks as he sits down on the side edge of her bed. He didn’t look at her right away afraid that she’d take it back.
“No daddy. I don’t.” Y/n shook her head with a warm smile on her face as he looked up at her.
“You should.” A tear slipped down his cheek as he looked at her with so much remorse in his eyes.
“I shouldn’t.” Y/n tilted her head smiling at him warmly and grabbed his hand in hers. “It wasn’t your will to hurt me.”
“I’m sorry.” Klaus apologized with more tears welling up in his eyes.
“You're forgiven.” Y/n told him squeezing his hand tightly.
Klaus pulled her into a hug, it had been 2 weeks since he last touched her and it made him feel alot better.
taglist: @gruffle1 @padawancat97 @starkleila
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danikamariewrites · 10 months ago
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Watch Your Step
Feysand x reader
A/n: happy day 2 and another Feysand fic! Comfort fics are some of my favorites especially for Rhys. Some of my favorite moments with him and Feyre are in ACOWAR and he’s just doting on her. @polyacotarweek
Warnings: descriptions on injuries and comfort
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“Nyx, slow down!” You yelled over the little boy's screeches and giggles as he ran through the upstairs hall. You held your dress above your calves, feet carrying you quickly.
You jumped toys littered across the carpet. Sighing mentally you make a note to have the boy clean up his toys. “Bet ya can’t catch me mom!” He giggled, disappearing around the corner. “No running on the stairs young man!” He giggled again as you heard the sound of winnowing. You came to a halt. The three of you knew Nyx’s powers were developing. He could finally hide his wings on command like Rhys. But winnowing was very new.
The first time he winnowed he had taken Rhys with him. Ending up outside the Winter Court palace wanting to see his friend, the Princess of Winter. To know he could winnow so far at such a young age was impressive but terrifying.
Your thoughts raced you began sprinting for the stairs. Praying to the Cauldron your little boy was only downstairs and not somewhere unknown.
Not keeping your eyes on the ground you completely missed the pair of toy swords in a small wagon on the first step. Your bare foot landed right on the center of the wooden toys, splintering them in half. Not even getting a chance to right yourself your other foot stays suspended in midair as the wagon moves across the stair.
Your ankle turns and you feel something pop. Falling down the stairs backwards you let out a scream. You try to grab hold of the banister to slow down, your fingers screaming in protest. You hit the curved landing hard. Rolling to a stop thanks to the wall.
Thanks to the pain numbing your body and ringing ears you didn’t hear Nyx scream for you. Or the multiple pairs of feet thundering to get to you as quickly as possible.
Groaning, you roll over onto your back, trying to keep your breathing steady. You keep your eyes screwed shut at the pain still coursing through your bones.
Nyx was now sitting next to you. A little hand on your face to comfort you. “Like mommy and daddy do for you,” he said once.
“I’m ok buddy, I’m ok.” You manage through gritted teeth. Opening your eyes you smile up at him. Panic on his little features. “See, mom’s ok. Just a little fall.”
Nesta and Azriel are first to arrive, Rhys and Feyre looking destressed right behind them. Nesta quickly gathers Nyx in her arms much to the boys dismay. He starts fidgeting wildly in his aunts arms fighting to get back to you.
Before he can be told to Az winnows away to get Madja. Rhys scoops you into his arms making his way to the bedroom quickly. Feyre prepares you a spot, fluffing your pillow as Rhys set you down gently.
“Questions later. I don’t want stress her out and add to her pain.” Rhys says into Feyre’s mind. He looks back at his mate to see silver lining her eyes. Her hand in yours, rubbing soothing circles with her thumb. “It’s ok angel, we’re here.” Feyre whispered softly. You squeezed her hand in response. The both of them could feel your pain through the bond and it was breaking their hearts.
Madja came bustling in as quickly as possible leaving Azriel to linger in the doorway. The old healer shoos your mates away, “I can’t work with you two breathing down my neck. Go with the Shadowsinger. I’ll come get you once she’s patched up.” Her tone leaves no room for argument. They’re hesitant to leave you but know it’s for the best.
An hour later Madja had left you with your ankle wrapped and strict bed rest orders which Feyre and Rhys took very seriously. For the next week your mates kept a close eye on you, not letting you move an inch.
“I still think you should keep your ankle elevated, my love.” Feyre sweetly chastises you a few days later. You roll your eyes as she puts the lunch tray down to fluff the throw pillow you abandoned a half hour ago.
“I’m fine, Fey. Besides, it’s practically healed.” She hummed, raising a brow at you, gently placing your foot on the pillow. “You want to tell Rhys that?” You sigh, dropping your head against the headboard.
Rhys has been worse than normal. Maybe because it was the worst at home injury any of you had sustained. He wouldn’t even let you sleep in the middle of the bed like usual. Rhys insisted you take his side while he slept in the middle so it would be easier to carry you out of bed.
Feyre placed the tray on your lap as she settled next to you, brushing a strand of hair behind your delicately pointed ear. “How are you feeling?” She asks softly.
“Better. The pain in my side is gone and my head is fine, the only problem is the pain in my ankle.” Feyre hums looking back at your bandaged ankle. You start to pick at your food when you notice a card under the plate. Picking it up you smile. Nyx had drawn you many get well soon cards over the last few days. “Good.”
In the middle of your meal and chat with Feyre, Rhys made his way into the bedroom taking the other spot next to you in bed. He takes your chin gently in his fingers, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. As if he was afraid of causing you more pain. “Hi angel, how are you feeling?” You smile against his lips, “Good.” He lets out a content hum leaning away from you.
As the week went on your mates let up on their hovering. When the bandage came off Rhys would massage your ankle every night, rubbing a special salve Madja gave you. While their overbearing nature at times can be aggravating, you wouldn’t have it any other way. You’d never stop being thankful to have mates and a family that cares so much about you.
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lilreidgirl · 6 days ago
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Drew Starkey x ex!reader smau
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ynworld
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♡ 1.7 M ○ 7.098 ➤ 36,4K
Liked by ynsloveyyy and others
ynworld Paris 🖤
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madelyncline Prettiest pretty girl to ever girl 💗
ynworld @madelyncline Oh girly, i think you’ve mistaken my comment section for a mirror… 🫶🏻
yns_girly STOP omggg, didnt she say she always wanted to go to paris is an interview?? So happy she finally diddddd
emmasxxlife @yns_girly YES apparently it was a bday gift from drew VIOLENTLY SOBBING ON THE FLOOR RN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
user02_ Yall gotta leave some facecard over for the other couples 😞
drewshonour Drew on slide 3 is so 😍😍
drewstarkey
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ynworld
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♡ 3.1 M ○ 8.031 ➤ 39,9K
ynworld Winter dump❄️☃️⛸️ Merry christmas, my loveys! 💋
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userr_nameee Why’s he there and not in my bed? 😕💔
loveschoice @userr_nameee Cause he has a girlfriend who doesn’t look like a wet paper towel, hope this helps 🥰
missstarkeyy I’m that dog
randouser If you squint and look really hard you can see me crying and convulsing in the background of the last pic
sleepy_yln @randouser REAL
ynupdatenation
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♡ 1.947 ○ 8 ➤ 22
ynupdatenation Pic of Drew y/n posted on her story!
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lou_ser04 I keep coming back to this acc hoping that there’s something new😭😭
fa1riesdust @lou_ser04 GIRL SO REAL 3 weeks of nothing is driving me CRAZY
lou_ser04 @fa1riesdust Crazy? I was crazy once…
-> view 4 more replies…
rileywifey Hes so cuteeeeee my SHAYLA💜
drewstarkey
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♡ 1,1M ○ 5.567 ➤ 39,8K
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starkeyspr1ncess Raw, deep, intense eye contact, lights on. Next question.
ynsangel Drew, where’s my wife? I miss her dearly 😞
billiesbaby @ynsangel Didnt they break up…
ynsangel @billiesbaby NO WHY WOULD YOU EVER SAY THAT
__milinaaa___ Daddy.
luxbbg Just one chance please bb 🙏
drews_updatesss
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♡ 4,2K ○ 128 ➤ 84
drews_updatesss Drew says he’s single in new interview!
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lauras444 HUH WHAT WHEN WHY KILL ME
ynssophie You’re kidding, right? No, I’m actually crying wtf 😭😭
tim_user @ynssophie Bro it’s not that bad 💀
emilyyln @tim_user stfu.
bunnycc Someone check up on my girl y/n 😭
lauras444 @bunnycc This is probably why she hasn’t been posting and that makes it so much worse, GOD I HATE MEN
bbgabriel Finally, my baby’s free for me 😊
emms_eau @bbgabriel Girl. Be so fvking frl rn.
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@emma-e-a
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moonstruksandco · 6 months ago
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⋆。devil i know 𖦹°⭒˚。⋆
PROLOGUE ; PLAYING GOD
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pairing : mob!stucky x mob!reader
summary : your father risked his life for somebody else, now you have to work for him and his best friend
warnings : eventual smut (hehehehe) ; soft mean bucky (meaner reader) and steve ; hard headed reader with a violence problem ; meaner bucky, colder steve ; classism ; daddy issues ; hella violence ; fem!reader ; trailerpark!reader
a/n : yeeaaaaaaaaaaaaa i'm sort of out of my mind writing this, cuz i have a an unfinished tvd chap in drafts but i couldn't help myself, the daydreams went CRAZZYYYYY and I miss infinity war steve and cap and winter soilder look! this is dedicated to my sun ; reblogs and feedback are loved and appreciated
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Its ridiculous
And you think you don’t care.
Well.
Its hard to ease into it, but you still know you should.
He sacrificed himself for someone else.
Took a bullet for someone else.
Someone that was never going to be you.
And now, he’s in front of you.
Not the one striving for his life, the one who got to live.
You know this life well. And you thrive on it. Born to fight, raised to live.
But never for him.
“He told me to watch over you,” He says with his golden hair and beard, looking at you seriously.
His eyes are too blue.
His office, or what he chooses to show face in, is cold. Everything is white or beige. Big open windows behind him, desk and monitor shining on his face.
“So…I have to work? For you. That were his last words?” Before he became a vegetable, you don’t say.
You’re clad in attire that almost didn’t even get you into his floor. Theres an oversized leather jacket draped over the chair next to you, denim skirt, groza strapped right underneath (and another in said jacket), white tank and low top sneakers ;because its blazing outside, obviously. Sweat still sticking, mind the very ventilated room.
You think back;
“I’m just here to see Steve Rogers,” you say to the point of exhaustion to the receptionist - secretary whatever.
You think if she was more gentle and nice about it, you would’ve given her grace. But she wasn’t, and hasn’t.
“Yes, but I told you I’ve spoken to him on the phone, and I’ve shown you the number that I could see you obviously recognized, plus the text he sent to come at this time.”
She rolls her eyes.
You decide you’re going to maim her.
“I’ve heard this all before,” She responds in a bored tone, “If you’re not on the sched-”
You’re beginning to pull out the dagger under your skirt.
A hand stops you.
“She’s fine. Let us up.”
You immediately pull on his wrist in retaliation. You think you’re about to break it, but he meets yours eyes.
Eyes to blue. But ones you don’t recognize.
And he stands by Steve now, hands clasped on his front.
You think he said he said his name was Bucky in the silent elevator.
He continues, “I’m not going to take whats owed to yo-”
“Well, he wanted you to, no?” you finish.
You cross your arms, leaning back slightly in the chair. “Just tell me what you need me to do.”
Steve sighs, look away from you, then back to you. “We need you to keep doing what you do best. But this time, for a cause that matters.”
“And that cause is…?” You sit up, confusion evident.
He stalls, as if confused. “You’re father.”
You slack by down, not amused and definitely not interesting
Steve continues, “Just pretend to be my assistant, do what you do best for him, and I’ll protect you.”
You laugh, a short, bitter sound that echoes in the sterile room. "Protect me?” He must be joking.”I think I’ll be fine without it.”
“You know who your father is, right?”
Your face morph into something close to irration.
Its not Steve, its the other blue eyes, and you look straight into his eyes, Bucky you think, “Did I stutter?”
The tension in the room thickens, Steve interjects, placing his palm up to interrupt whatever his (Bucky?) rebuttal was, “This isn’t just about you. It’s about preventing something bigger.”
Your eyes leave a pair of blues, to meet another;
Steve continues, “No one knows what happened. If they know the state he’s in, or even wher-”
“So what? I play assistant
“Exactly.” His shadow says.
You don’t like Bucky.
“You already have one. The bitchy one.”
Steve sighs, “You’re just a cover. You’ll be doing the real work.”
You lean back again, contemplating. "Fine. But if this goes south, I'm out," you say, standing up grabbing your coat.
Steve nods, "Understood,” He stands up when you do respectfully. We start tomorrow."
You scoff again opening the door to exit, “We start next Monday.”
The door closes behind you with a soft click, leaving Steve and Bucky in a tense silence.
Bucky turns to Steve, "Are you sure about this?"
Steve nods, "She was his right hand” He looks back at the seat you were sat on.”No ones going to do it as best as her.”
⋆。𖦹°⭒˚。⋆
working on chap 2 ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎
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youaintnothinbuta · 10 months ago
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“I’ve got her, you relax.” — Elvis Presley x reader
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Summary: daddy Elvis comes home from tour finally, and you’ve been extra tired lately having to take care of a sick toddler. He goes straight into dad mode when he gets home and gives you a chance to relax and he’s just the best dad ever to your daughter n I love domestic elvis <3
Pairing: Elvis or Austin!Elvis x fem!reader
Word count: 678
Warnings: fluff!! Domestic!Elvis n daddy!elvis 😋 probs typos SORRY
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Finally the day had come where Elvis was coming home for a break from touring. You were originally going to meet him at the airport with the others, but your daughter had been under the weather, and sick toddlers and overstimulating environments don’t mix well. Instead, you waited at Graceland for him to return, your daughter resting on your lap.
As soon as she heard the lock of the front door click, she lept out of your lap, running over to Elvis, her arms outstretched towards him, cheering, “daddy, daddy!”
Elvis’ face lit up with a radiant smile as he scooped her up, spinning her around in the air before cuddling her to his chest, peppering her face with kisses. You watched with a smile, waiting for your turn. “My little girl,” he murmured, his voice filled with affection as he planted another kiss on her cheek. “My other little girl. I’ve missed you,” he continued, turning to you and enveloping you in a warm embrace, his lips finding yours in a tender kiss.
As he lifted your daughter onto his shoulders, her giggles filling the air, you felt relief wash over you, “I've missed you too, E,” you replied, your voice filled with warmth.
“How is she?” He asked, his concern evident in his voice, reaching up to tickle your daughter’s tummy, who was perched happily on his shoulders.
You let out a tired sigh, the weight of the past few days evident in your voice, “Getting there.”
“Tell you what, I’ve got her, you relax this afternoon, tonight it’ll be just me and you,” he suggested, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips. Your heart raced a little at his suggestion, “I’d love that.”
You made your way to the bathroom, the promise of a warm bath beckoning you, Elvis followed closely behind, your daughter still perched happily on his shoulders. Together, you ascended the staircase, the sound of y/d/n’s laughter filling the air as Elvis carried her up to her bedroom to retrieve a coat.
“And mama,” Elvis said, his voice filled with determination as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you back towards him, “don't you even think about cooking, or cleaning, or tidying, or nothing, okay? I got it.”
You couldn't help but smile at his insistence, a wave of gratitude washing over you at his thoughtfulness. “Alright, daddy,” you replied playfully, backing up against him and teasing him with a mischievous glint in your eyes. You wandered away into the your bedroom, Elvis shot you a knowing smirk, shaking his head in amusement as he watched you go, saying you’re going to get it tonight.
“Alright, monkey,” Elvis said, turning his attention back to your daughter, who was now perched on her bed, her eyes shining with excitement. “Let's get a jacket and go play outside.”
Bending down, he gently lifted her off the bed, setting her down on her feet. Opening up her wardrobe, he sifted through the clothes until he found a warm coat, zipping it up around her little body snugly to protect her from the chilly November air.
Once she was properly bundled up, Elvis took her hand in his, a smile lighting up his face as he led her out of the room and down the stairs. Outside, the world was bathed in the soft glow of the setting sun, the crisp air tinged with winter on the horizon. The bathtub in yours and Elvis’ ensuite was positioned perfectly next to a window, allowing you to watch on as he and y/d/n headed out into the backyard, their laughter echoing through the air.
The pair ran around playing together, first in her cubby house, then playing chasey, before she got bored of that too. You leant against the bathtub ledge, smiling at your little family.
“Baby, come here, look,” Elvis pulled her into his lap, “see, look, wave to mama, do you see her?” He cooed, pointing to you in the window for her as she waved both hands around at you, making you laugh.
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fabydoll · 4 months ago
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ILLICIT | TEASER. coming soon
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ৎ ݁ ۪ ⋅ Ꮚ dilf, cop, taehyung x teenage milf, fem reader
ϑϱ⭒ ݁ sum ৎ ݁ ۪ after the murder of two people so dear to your heart, in front of your own eyes, your left broken and all alone, but who better to make you feel loved and cared for than an officer of the law...
ϑϱ⭒ ݁ starring ৎ ݁ ۪ kim taehyung ⟡ kim jennie ⟡ kim namjoon ⟡ choi tzuyu, ect 𓂅゙
ϑϱ⭒ ݁ cw ৎ ݁ ۪ AU, infidelity ౨ৎ murder ౨ৎ drugs ౨ৎ cheating ౨ৎ power imbalance ౨ৎ underage pregnancy ౨ৎ pregnant sex ౨ৎ cock warming ꒰sorta꒱ ౨ৎ reverse cowgirl ౨ৎ lactating kink ౨ৎ ephebophilia౨ৎ underage sex ౨ৎ illict, illegal relationship ౨ৎ hints to a daddy/daughter kink
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Taehyung stood in front of your tattered apartment door, knocking. The acrid smell of a recently smoked and lit cigarette lingered in the air, shoving a muscular, veiny hand into the pocket of his long, heavy dark brown winter coat, his police badge being the only thing that brought any color to the otherwise bleak and lifeless hallway, eyeing his somber and desolate surroundings that were your apartment complex.
You lived here?
Thinking back on your condition and the fact that you’re only a young teenage girl—a young pregnant teenage girl—a part of him, the fatherly part of him, couldn’t help but feel so sympathetic, empathetic to your situation. You must feel so scared, alone, just like the same broken young girl whose pleas and begging not wanting to go to jail somehow found a way to pull on his heartstrings.
If he was being honest, he should care as much as he did.
But you made him care, so much.
“Miss Y/N, hope I wasn’t bothering you,” Taehyung said, his velvety voice sounding nurturing, fondly looking at your slumbering state, like you were the cutest thing his eyes had ever laid on. You rubbed your doe eyes; you were beyond adorable. “Of course not, Mr. Kim, I was just taking a little after-school nap,” you softly yawned, stretching your tired limbs, looking up at the taller, older man and giving him a sweet sleepy smile.
“I see,” he said, fondly smiling back at you. Mr. Kim was ever so beautiful, especially when he smiled, looking like a gorgeous matinee idol. You could never tell he was in his late thirties; you softly blushed. “Anyways, I came to check on you. Your case worker, Mrs. Choi, informed me that you hadn’t checked up on her calls lately. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
And see your beautiful smiling face again.
“Oh,” you formed an “oh” with your plump, plush pink lips as Taehyung tried his best to avoid looking at, you’re blooming and blossoming cleavage that your oversized low-cut t-shirt offered a tantalizing view of. “I must have dozed off; being pregnant can be so trying sometimes,” you hummed, daintily placing a hand on your 4-week-old tummy bump. Taehyung softly nodded, eyes on your tummy “I image it would be hard.”
The two of you just stared at each other for a moment, for what seemed like eternity, just gazing into each other’s starry eyes, like you were in reverie, daydreaming, waiting, albeit nervously, for the other to make a move. Taehyung awkwardly cleared his throat, breaking the moment as he began, “Um, do you maybe want to go out for a walk together?” You blushed again but nodded, smiling.
“I would love to.”
꒰ 8:12 pm ₊˚⊹ᰔ ── apricity 𝜗𝜚
It was a chilly evening with crystal clear snowflakes falling from the heavens, daintily snowing down onto you two as you walked side by side, hands softly brushing against one another every now and then as you strolled around the neighborhood, which was covered in snow, looking like a gloomy but beautifully melancholic winter wonderland.
It was peaceful and calming; the two of you just strolled around. Taehyung reached into his pockets, taking out his thick leather gloves and slipping his equally thick and large hands in, as well as lighting up a cigar.
You watched him almost hypnotically, Taehyung feeling your curious and innocent gaze just deeply chuckled as he took a drag. “You wanna try some?” he called out, a chilly smoke-filled fog airing out as he offered it to you. You coughed and hesitantly took it.
You took the itsy bitsy, tiny drag you could possibly take before passing it back to him, as you started to air out cute little puffs of air, a fond chuckle ringing in your ear. Taehyung took it from your small hands and took another long drag. “So how’s school? Heard you were in your last year of high school.” You gently hummed, “Yeah, it's going fine. I actually just started my senior year.”
“Hmm”
“Yeah, I was pretty excited about it too, until you know,” you looked down at your pregnant belly. Sighing, you gave your tummy little gentle, soft rub as you continued in much softer tone “I never expected to get pregnant at such a young age, you know? I had my whole life ahead of me, I had dreams and hopes, but then again maybe it happened for reason, a reason that I sometimes believe was so I could still have someone by my side, like an angel looking after me, now that I'm. . . all alone.”
You tried your best to suppress the tears that threatened to cascade down your pale, rosy, ruby red cheeks. Taehyung frowned seeing you cry, it hurt for an odd reason he couldn’t quite fully explain, you still managed to look so breathtakingly beautiful, Taehyung pulled you closer laying his head on top of yours, a strong, muscular arm around your small shoulders. As he rocked you back and forth, like a loving father trying to coo their crying child, comforting you with nothing more but soft, warm words in a deep mellifluous, euphonious tone, his words as sweet and as warm as a hot cup of cocoa.
The snow continued to fall on both of you, as you were wrapped, engulfed in, Taehyung’s warm embrace your tears slipping down your cheeks and socking into Taehyung’s coat, his sweet-smelling cologne and strawberry scent, somehow calming and soothing you, as Taehyung gentle let go, he entwined his lager hands with your smaller. You two just stood there for a moment hands twinned together, it was quite picturesque scene with beautiful snowy backdrop.
“You wanna go out for some hot cocoa? My treat” he cooed, a hand pushing back a strand of your hair out of your angelic tear-stricken face.
“It would my pleasure.” You sniffed, smiling warmly up at him.
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lottesreads · 7 months ago
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Why Me? - Part 11
Pairing: Bob Floyd x Mitchell! Female Reader (Callsign Mantis)
Warnings: Forbidden relationship, ANGST, violence, nightmares, mentions of PTSD, mentions of child abuse, swearing, mentions of anxiety and panic attacks, therapy (we love), mentions of death/being sick
Word Count: 12k
Summary: You're still reeling after what happened with Bob, but it all comes crashing down to reality when you go to work the next day. As you reminisce on memories you thought were lost, you make a move you know you should have made a long time ago. Things come to a head with Rooster once more, and you find yourself grieving for something you never had.
A/N: Well hellooo beautiful people!! I apologize for being gone so long, writers block had me in a chokehold and... yeah. But I'm back and I hope you enjoy! I'm not making any promises, but hopefully the next part will be out MUCH sooner than this one was.
p.s. I love every single one of you and comments and reblogs keep me going. That is all.
Masterlist
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21 years ago
“Bug!”, Carole yells up the stairs, “We gotta meet your dad and Bradley at the school, we’re gonna be late!” It was only your first week of being back with your dad and the Bradshaw’s for the summer, but it was a busy one at that. Bradley was still finishing up his last week of school while yours got out two weeks ago. And while your dad just got home from a 6-month deployment three days ago, Carole and Bradley were more than happy to make the weekend trip up to Ohio to come get you before he came back.
“Bug!”, she yells one more time with no response. Breathing out a sigh, she ascends the stairs and knocks on your door. “Are you almost ready sweetheart? We’re gonna be late for Bradley’s piano recital” Using two hands to open the door, you stand before her in the frilly yellow sundress the two of you bought while shopping the previous day. “Well don’t you look pretty! Are you all ready to go?” She watches as you shift your mouth to the side of your face. Bending to your level, she moves to push some of your hair behind your ear.
“What’s a matter?” You shrug and look into her big blue eyes. She hums in question as she looks you over. Your lip wobbles as you reach to touch the necklace around her neck, admiring it with gentle fingers. They trace over the silver butterfly pendant hanging just below her collar bone. Something was wrong this time around. You were… different from the little girl she said goodbye to last August. More timid, almost frightened to do anything you would deem as wrong. You weren’t even like this when you spent your winter break with them. It might have been the excitement of the impending holiday that kept her from noticing, but something changed since then.
It wasn’t uncommon for you to run into her arms when you first saw her for the summer, but the way you clutched onto her shirt and wouldn’t let go, so hard to the point that she had to carry you to the car, she knew something was wrong. And now, you’ve been so quiet. So unlike what she’s used to when you’re with Bradley, or just in her presence for that matter. When she got you all buckled in and on the road, it took less than 20 minutes for you to be knocked out completely, like you were finally able to let your guard down and sleep.
“I missed you and daddy. And Bradley.” Her heart breaks as she watches you sniffle. As you let go of the necklace, she reaches forward and effortlessly wraps you in a hug.
“Oh bug, we missed you, too. So much.” Her hand rubs circles up and down your back as she comforts you. “But we’ll get this whole summer together, and we’re gonna have so much fun. Right?” She moves back to watch you nod your head and rub a small fist over your cheek. Instinctively her hands move to replace your own, swiping your tears away with her thumbs.
Your eyes move back to the necklace and she follows your gaze. Without a second thought, her hands move behind her neck, unclasping it as she holds it in her fingers for you to look at.
“Did I ever tell you where I got this necklace from?” Shaking your head, you sniffle once more. “You know how I told you about your uncle Goose? Bradley’s daddy?” You nod as you trace your fingers along the chain. “Well, on our first date we went to a movie, then walked around in this big mall, kinda like the one we went to. We passed a jewelry store, and this necklace was in the window. I stopped to look at it and I told him how pretty I thought it was.” She pauses for one second before lightly pushing on your shoulders to turn you around.
“We went on a few more dates after that. And then-”, the necklace falls into your view as her hands come up to clasp it around your neck, “He finally asked me to be his girlfriend. I asked what took him so long, and he told me he was so nervous I would say no. Isn’t that so silly?” You giggle as she turns to have you look at her once more. “I of course said yes, and then that goof, he reached into his back pocket and gave me a little bag. And inside of it was this necklace.” She pokes the spot where the butterfly sits on your chest, hanging a little longer on your small body than on hers. “In that moment I realized two things. First, was that he bought the necklace still thinking I would say no. And knowing him he would have given it to me either way. And second, was that I was pretty darn sure I was gonna marry him.”
“Do you miss him?” your tiny voice asks as she looks up from the necklace back to your innocent eyes.
“Everyday. I used to wear this necklace to remind me of him, or look at my wedding ring that he picked out all by himself. But I realized I can just look over to Bradley and know there’s still a little piece of him with me everywhere I go.” Her eyes fill with unshed tears, not unlike most times when she thinks about her husband, but she smiles through it like she always does. Her hand smooths over your head as she looks at you wearing her necklace.
“Oh he would have absolutely adored you.” She clears her throat once before changing subjects, “Now whenever you look at this necklace I want you to remember that me, Bradley, and your Daddy are always with you, ok? No matter what.”
“I can keep it?”
“Of course!”, she says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world she’s gifting you something that means so much to her. “But you have to promise me one other thing, ok?”
“What?”, you whisper.
“I want you to be brave like your uncle Goose. Because even though he was scared, he asked me anyway. And if he were here, he would tell you it was so worth it. So bug, do you think you can be brave for me?” You silently nod your head at her words, hair falling in your face as you do so. She doesn’t need to push it back for you as you do it yourself this time in order to look at her with your head held high.
“Good”, she whispers with a smile. It falls slightly as she asks you, “Is there anything you wanna tell me?” She holds her breath as you nod.
“Does Bradley practice piano a lot?” She stifles a laugh as her brows furrow.
“All the time, why do you ask?”
“Last time he was playing he wasn’t very good.” Hiding her face, she takes both of your hands in hers, rubbing your fingers.
“Don’t worry sweetheart, he’s gotten a lot better since then. And even if he didn’t, we’d still be front row cheering him on, right?”
“Right”, you say with a big nod.
“Speaking of, we’re gonna be late!” She squeezes your hand as the two of you bound down the stairs and into her car. 
“Was uncle Goose good at piano?”
“Oh he was so good at piano.”
“I hope Bradley is, too.” She laughs as she buckles you in the back seat.
“If he’s anything like his daddy he’ll be great. He’ll look like a wild bird doing it, but he’ll be just fine.”
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Present Day
Your dad wasn’t lying when he told you he’d be waiting until you got home. Opening the door, you’re presented with the back of his head as he watches an old rerun of M.A.S.H. The door clicks as you lock it, and he turns off the t.v. at the sound. You give him a slight smile as he rounds the couch. Even though you drove the entire ten minutes back to your house with all the windows down and the AC on full blast, you can still feel a flush taking hold of your cheeks.
“How was dinner at Marcello’s?”, he asks as he folds his arms across his chest, yawning. You search your brain for what the hell he’s talking about until you remember what you told him you were doing.
“Oh yeah, it was good. Sorry it took so long, we started catching up and I didn’t realize what time it was”, you attempt to step past him.
“Who were you seeing again?”
“Just a friend from high school, she was in the area on a work trip”, you lie. It was easier this way. If you told him you were going to Bob’s he might ask questions about him, and it could lead to more invasive things you didn’t want to answer. Making something up completely different was easier than lying about Bob at all. Your dad hums at your answer, and you think he can almost see through you.
“Rooster was there on a date. I’m surprised you didn’t run into him.”
“It was packed for a Wednesday night. And since when does he tell you about his dating life?”
“Oh I don’t know. He called to let me know he had a box of my old things and we just got to talking. You might actually know her, he said she was a friend of Phoenix’s girl.” You stop at the bottom of the stairs, and you can almost feel your eye start to twitch as you slowly turn around. “For the life of me I can’t remember her name.”
“Does it happen to be Emily?” He snaps his fingers as he starts readjusting the coffee table and turning lights off.
“That’s it. You know her?”
“Oh”, you scoff, “Yeah I know her. Rooster knows her very well, actually.” He stops what he’s doing and turns to you.
“What does that mean- You know what? I don’t wanna know”, he decides as he walks over to you, placing a kiss at the top of your head. “Goodnight kiddo”, he says with a yawn. He walks down the hall to his own room, while you remain at the bottom of the steps.
“What an asshole”, you mutter under your breath. For a moment, you aren’t thinking about what just happened with Bob, you’re thinking about just how rude both Rooster and Emily were to him only a week ago. And after Rooster’s “apology”, he is now going on a date with the woman who had the audacity to laugh in Bob’s face? Typical.
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You hardly sleep at all that night. Worried that you might wake up from another dream. Or not wake up at all and be trapped. These are paranoid thoughts, you know that. But all the same, your body will not allow you to relax for more than an hour. It isn’t until you’re sure you’ve fallen asleep for at least 20 minutes that your alarm startles you awake.
Groaning, you get up and head to your bathroom. You can already hear your dad starting his morning routine from his room below yours, and you focus on the noise to distract yourself from what you have to walk into today. Not only do you try and fail to forget how Bob’s hands felt, or how rushed he was just to kiss you, the worst part is that you don’t want to forget. You don’t want to pretend like nothing happened. You want to walk up to him and give him a kiss, ask him how the rest of his night was, if he wants to go see a movie with you on Saturday. But no. You learned from a very young age that getting what you want wasn’t really written in the stars.
However, pulling your hair back into a tight bun, you remember that you do have something that you want. You had to sacrifice a lot for it, but you got it in the end. The career you’ve always wanted, what you knew you were meant for deep down. Your eyes flicker from your hands as they deftly work to make sure not a hair is out of place, and then back to your face. Your hands stop as you stare at the slope of your nose, the shape and color of your eyes, anything that you think reminds everyone else of her.
You shake your head and get back to the task at hand. Once you’re finished, you eye strictly your hair in the mirror to make sure it’s up to standard, and your eye catches on your phone at the edge of the counter. You begin to chew your lip before unlocking it and searching through your contacts. Under Avila Clinic, your finger hovers.
Contrary to what Penny might have thought, you did have a therapist once upon a time. After your first few nightmares at the Academy, and with the support of Phoenix, you started therapy. Your therapist, Mary, was extremely helpful and understanding. You went to her for years while at school, but then deployments started happening and you got distracted. Life started to finally make sense, and your dreams were few and far between. Eventually they stopped happening altogether, and your naive brain thought that meant they were gone for good. Her practice is on the other coast, but you know it’s going to take a while for a new therapist to get your entire backstory to try and help you. You need someone who already knows, possesses the knowledge on how to help you. Someone you are already comfortable with sharing your feelings with.
A knock comes from your door taking you out of your thoughts.
“You almost ready to go?”, your dad asks from the hall. Your stomach flips at the thought of having to go to work, even if you do love it. Things have been… complicated recently. And even if you did pretend nothing happened already, you have a gut feeling it’s gonna be a lot harder than it was at the beginning of the week.
“Yeah”, you respond, “I’ll be out in a minute.”
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Your father is none the wiser as you walk onto base. Your heart is beating so fast you’re worried he might be able to hear the echo against your chest. While he heads to his office to gather what he needs for the day, you set your things in the locker room. You know he’s going to be in there when you walk in the room. Like he always is. Because he’s always so prepared. Groaning, you shut the metal door to your locker and rest your forehead on the cool surface.
“Everything ok Mantis?”, Phoenix’s voice sounds from beside you.
“Oh everything is fine and dandy.” Her locker closes as she moves you by your shoulders, leading you out of the room and to your anxiety-induced nightmare.
“Ok weirdo. You gonna tell me what’s really on your mind?” She doesn’t stop as she marches you through the classroom where Bob is patiently waiting in his seat. Your eyes meet for the briefest moment before the influx of the rest of the group forces you to move toward your seat. 
“Maybe later”, you whisper to her as she sits. Your gut twists as you try and fail to not stare at the back of Bob’s head. Just last night your fingers were running through that same hair, and now you have to pretend like you don’t know what his body feels like against your own. Those thoughts are extinguished rather quickly as Rooster sits next to you. Your body goes rigid as you remember what else your dad told you last night. How dare he? After everything he’s already put you through, he’s so blatantly blind when it comes to other people’s feelings. He must feel your energy or the fact that you keep glaring at him through the corner of your eye. So when he looks up and gives you a small smile, you reciprocate. You’ve learned your lesson on confronting people at work, and if you want to fly on this next mission, you’re gonna be on your best behavior.
You are nothing if not professional in the air. You’re paired up with Phoenix and Bob on your first hop of the day, and if you were an outsider you wouldn’t even know there was something else going on. The three of you successfully pull off each paired maneuver your dad assigned with perfect communication. The entire time you were focused on flying, but Bob’s deep voice through the comm system didn’t help. It was extremely difficult to focus on what he was saying, not how he was saying it, but you did it anyway. 
When lunch comes around you walk into the mess hall and sigh. There are two options you’re weighing as you stand near the doorway, clutching your lunch bag in hand. Your “regular” seat sits empty next to Bob and Rooster is still sitting by himself in the corner. On one hand you could pretend everything was fine and sit next to Bob, or you could pretend you’re not mad at Rooster and sit next to him. Rolling your eyes they land back on Bob’s table where Phoenix is now sat across from him. Your hands sweat as you hold your lunch, eyeing the way Bob’s hands wipe the crumbs of chip dust off onto a napkin. Taking a breath, you allow yourself to be sad for a second.
Bob is quite literally the most perfect man you have ever met. He’s kind, thoughtful, and funny. Not to mention damn handsome and from your experience the best kisser. Your heart aches at the thought that he deserves to hear all this praise. He told you some of the nicest things anyone has ever said to you, and what did you do in return? When given the chance to tell him how you felt you reached for the logical side of your brain and refused to. In another life, you tell yourself. If you weren’t restricted by these stupid rules, if you had the courage to tell him how you felt. But here you still stand in the company of no one but yourself.
His head turns suddenly and you’re met with his eyes as he gives you the slightest smile. An invitation to take a seat at his side. But you swallow and tear your eyes away. They land on Rooster instead who is already looking at you, then at Bob. It’s too much as you breathe and choose the secret third option. Turning on your heel, you head toward your dad’s office.
Knocking on the cracked door before entering, your dad welcomes you with a surprised smile. His brow furrows slightly as you take a seat across from him at his desk, but he doesn’t say anything as you start to eat with him. Even just asking him how his day is going, you catch the smile on his face as he looks across to you, and then back down to his desk. You can’t see what he’s looking at, but whatever it is keeps him content until his phone rings.
He quickly apologizes like you were in the middle of a very important business meeting before answering with a, “Hey honey”. And you know it’s Penny on the other end. Smiling, he holds up a finger, telling you he’ll be back in a minute as you watch him leave his office. You turn back to his desk and only see the backs of what look to be a few picture frames littering the top. Funny. You don’t think you saw these when you helped him move his stuff in here a couple months ago. That being said, you haven’t been in here very often.
Turning back to the door, your dad’s voice faintly echoes down the hall with a laugh, and knowing you have a few minutes, you take a seat in his chair. Your eyes roam over his desk, his aviators sit in front of a Navy mug.There’s a few small models of previous jets he’s flown, you take note of the F-14 Tomcat, sitting right in front of a picture of him and Goose. Smiling at the frame of your and Bradley’s dads, your eyes trace to the others. A more recent picture of you at your Top Gun graduation, Iceman and your father flanking your sides as you triumphantly hold the trophy sits next to one of 7-year old you with Bradley at his piano recital. He was a lot better than you gave him credit for that day, and now you know all that hard work paid off. He can practically play any song you ask him to, and he makes use of that talent whenever he can at the Hard Deck. Penny even joked she should put a tip jar out for him.
There’s another picture of the two of them someone must have taken on the carrier right after their triumphant return during the Uranium Mission. Everyone is cheering in the background, and you even have a smile on your face. But you don’t remember feeling happy. You were relieved, of course. But it still doesn’t erase the hour of agony thinking they were dead. You move on to the next picture of yourself in a dirtied softball uniform, clinging on to Bradley’s back like a monkey as he walks you to the car after a long summer tournament. Your feet hurt so bad Bradley had offered to give you a piggy-back ride if you shared your popsicle with him. The red juices melted down your arm and onto his shirt, but he didn’t complain once.
The last picture is of Goose, Carole, and a tiny Bradley. You smile fondly as you pick up the frame and watch their smiling faces. Your dad told you once that it was one of the last pictures of them all together. God, Bradley looks so much like his dad. Your finger absentmindedly traces where Carole stands, and stops at the silver chain around her neck. A small butterfly pendant sits between her collarbones and a wave of guilt washes over you.
You weren’t brave like you promised her. At least you thought you weren’t. You held on to that necklace for the few years that you had it, but ultimately when Carole got sick, you couldn’t bear it anymore. She slept a lot toward the end, the medication making her tired. One night, you crept into her bathroom and put the necklace back in her jewelry box hoping she wouldn’t notice, or wouldn’t say anything to you. She never brought it up, so you assumed it was one of the two. But looking at it now you wish you would have kept it. Kept that little piece of her she so generously gave to you. Maybe that little reminder would have made it easier to keep going after her and Bradley left.
Placing the frame back in its place, you chew your lip. You grab your phone and before you can decide not to, you press the call button. It rings a couple times before someone answers in a cheery voice.
“Avila Clinic, how can I help you?”
“Hi, I’d like to make an appointment.”
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Bob sits in silence the entire rest of lunch. He thought maybe you two would be civil toward each other. He also thought that last night meant you cared about him, but right now it doesn’t feel that way. The initial sting of you not sitting next to him today is gone. He gets it. But the fact that you didn’t even acknowledge him when he smiled at you? That hurt.
He’s so conflicted as he walks back to the classroom. Maybe you have your own things going on and this isn’t about him. But how could it not be? You two talked last night. You kissed for crying out loud. You asked him to and pulled him against you. God, he literally begged you to kiss him again and now he’s feeling embarrassed. Something he thought you would never make him feel. What hurts most of all is how he misses just being around you. As much as he loved kissing you, he loved being your friend. Listening to you talk, learning about your life. Everything was so easy. You never even had to try to make him like you, it was as simple as breathing.
He decides he can’t take any of this personally. Easier said than done, though. 
You don’t look in his direction the rest of the day. He doesn’t have eyes in the back of his head, but if you were looking at him he’s pretty positive he would have felt it. In fact, you’re pretty quiet, too. He’s hardly paying attention as Mav goes over everyone’s flights, but perks up when he mentions your name.
“Alright, Phoenix, Bob, and Mantis.” Your flights are brought up on the screen as well as what maneuvers you were practicing together. “Or as I like to call you guys; The Dream Team.” Phoenix breathes out a laugh to his left as Mav continues to praise you for your team work. Kind of ironic that you work so well as a team together even though he feels like he’s had not only his body, but his head in the clouds all day.
“So you three, give yourselves a pat on the back. Great job.” Phoenix turns to him first to give him a fist bump, then turns over to you. He turns with her and finally catches your eye as your smirk falters. He watches you clench your fist before offering it toward him, and with a forced smile his knuckles tap your own. There was no celebration to be had when all it does is create more awkward tension between the two of you. He used to relish in these little moments the two of you shared, but now knowing that you want absolutely nothing to do with him it only serves as a reminder for what he lost.
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You’re quiet again as you head home with your dad. Guilt is eating you alive at the way Bob smiled at you today. It’s not real anymore. Nothing about it is genuine, and why would it be? You continue to create situations in which someone’s heart is going to get broken, and it always ends up being your own. This time there’s another casualty and you can’t stand it being Bob. He deserves so much more than that.
Your father is humming along to the radio while you stare out the window when your phone buzzes. AVILA CLINIC flashes on your screen and you’re quick to answer.
“Hello?”
“Hi, this is Tiffany from the Avila Clinic, am I speaking to Miss Mitchell?” The same cheery woman from earlier asks.
“Yes, this is she.”
“Hi Miss Mitchell. We spoke earlier about setting up an appointment a couple weeks from now on the fourth of October, but your therapist Mary had a sudden cancellation for tomorrow. I know you said you wanted to get in as soon as possible, does tomorrow at 4:00 pm Pacific Time work for you?”
“Yes”, you’re quick to agree, “Yes, that absolutely works for me.”
“Perfect. We’ll email you a Zoom link thirty minutes before your appointment.”
“Sounds great, thank you so much.” Hanging up the phone, your dad clears his throat, expectantly waiting for an explanation as to who that was.
“I have a zoom meeting at 4:00 tomorrow.” His brow raises as he urges you to continue. “It’s a therapy appointment-”, you try to ignore the way both his brows raise at the admission, “And it’s at the house, so I would really appreciate it if, ya know….”
“I get it, I get it”, he waves you off, “I’ll make myself scarce.” A weight is lifted from your chest as he continues driving. You know how men of his generation view therapy, but he himself has benefited from those services over the course of his life. In your own opinion you think he could benefit from some more, but, you really don’t think he’ll go for it unless he’s doing it for someone else.
“Thanks, dad.”
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You didn’t expect it. You thought you were safe. Especially after last night of nothing, you went to bed naively thinking you could have a peaceful night’s sleep. Awaking with a choked gasp, you reach for your throat begging it to open up. Breath after breath gets a little easier, until the tears start and you just can’t stop. The dark does little to ease your racing mind.
It started normally, just a hazy dream of you walking down the street back in Ohio, stopping at a storefront and staring in the window. Your reflection is what set you off. It was you at first, you were able to identify little features that were your own, but then- It turned into her completely. You ran as fast as your feet would let you, but the only destination was your old house. Still, you tried to get as far away from her as possible, you couldn’t see her, but you could feel her not far behind you. Running up the stairs, you booked it to your room and slammed the door shut, holding your body against it so she couldn’t get in. She banged and screamed as hard and as loud as she could until it finally… stopped. It was silent as tears streamed down your face. Giving you a false sense of security, you stepped away from the door.
Holding your breath, you made it three steps away before the door flung itself open. You were already walking backwards when she pushed you into the wall, and head first you hit it. You must have started choking on your own tears in real time, and you imagine the lack of air is what caused you to wake up.
Even as you sit up in bed now, the thought that it was only a dream does nothing to reassure you. The room is too hot, and instead of making the same mistake of running to your bathroom, you tiptoe down the hall so as to not alert your father, and sit on the back porch. The cool September breeze blows over your sweat slicken skin as you breathe in… and out. In… and out. You’re still sobbing as quietly as you can, and you know it was a dream. Just a dream- this time.
You don’t tell your dad exactly what happened, but he knows. He was surprised to see you outside when he got up this morning, but you just told him you couldn’t get back to sleep so you sat out to see the sunrise. It was when he tried resting his hand on your shoulder and you flinched away that he knew you left some details out. Without him having to say a word, he gave you a look and you reassured him you were fine. You knew you weren’t, really. But the only thing keeping you going was the idea of getting up in the air, and the fact that you had therapy later today.
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For the first time in a very long time, Bob wasn’t looking forward to going to work this morning. He felt like a kid dreading going to school again. But, he forced himself anyway, and now as he walks the halls, he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to face another day where you completely ignore him. This isn’t the best way to deal with… whatever happened between you two, you must know that. Right? In the end no matter what you told him he was still going to be your friend, but you’re giving him the idea that you don’t want that.
He’s surprised to find you already in the classroom, your pen tapping at the sheet of maneuvers in front of you. No one else is there but the two of you, and he takes a minute to breathe in the silence that settles. Your mouth is twisted, you keep switching from chewing one side of your lip to the other. Your brow is furrowed to the point that there’s a sharp knot in your forehead. Whatever you’re looking at can’t possibly be that perplexing. You could fly each of these tasks with your eyes closed, and yet you look deep in thought. He opens his mouth to say something, taking a step forward at the same time, but a hand claps down on his shoulder as he does.
“Morning, Bob, Mantis”, Phoenix greets the two of you. You hum in acknowledgement but your eyes never leave your paper. Bob watches as she taps your knee with her hand. You quite literally jump at the movement, dropping your pen in the process as it rolls under his seat. “Hey, you ok there?”
“Yeah, sorry”, you rush out as your hand trembles. Bob can hear Phoenix ask if you’re sure, while he kneels on the floor to retrieve your pen. When he gets up, he’s still on his knees holding your pen out to you. Your hollow eyes look back at him as the two of you freeze, sharing a moment that feels stuck in time. A shaky hand extends to grab your pen from him, and it takes everything in him not to reach further and squeeze your hand. Letting you know he’s there.
“Thank you”, you practically whisper.
“Any time”, he responds just as softly. The rest of the squad enters the room as you tear your eyes away from his and look back to your papers. He watches as you continue what you were working on when he entered, but instead of your pen, your foot taps the floor.
You walk away too quickly once Maverick assigns you to the first flight of the day, but Bob knows something’s wrong. So he waits until it’s his and Phoenix’s turn, hoping to catch you out on the tarmac as you land, but you’re still in your cockpit as they walk past. He slows, feigning a loose shoelace as he urges Phoenix to keep going.
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Your flight had done well to get your mind off of last night, but it’s still with a deep breath that you grip the ladder as you descend. Helmet in hand, you turn to make your way back inside and grab a needed drink of water.
“Mantis?” Bob's gentle voice has you looking up at him.
“Hi- Bob”, you respond, a little taken aback he was waiting for you. He keeps his distance as Fritz and Hangman walk past the two of you.
“Are you- are you doing ok?”
“Yeah”, you clear your throat, “I’m doing ok.” It feels like his sapphire eyes can see right through you as you shift on your feet. You can lie all you want, but you know he can tell. It’s his turn to shift on his feet as he blinks rapidly before realizing what he needs to say.
“I know it might be hard, but you can still talk-”
“Bob!”, Phoenix yells from her ladder, “It’s go time!” Lost in his train of thought, He struggles to find the words as he clenches his helmet in his hand.
“Bob, I’m ok.” He’s hesitant as Phoenix yells his name again, pointing at her watch this time.
“If you say so”, he nods as you stare at your feet. With one last look at your shifting eyes, he jogs over to Phoenix who is beginning to grow even more impatient. You watch him climb into his seat before trudging back to the hangar where Rooster waits at the door.
“Don’t say anything.”
“Wasn’t gonna.” You roll your eyes as he walks behind you. He still doesn’t know that you know about his little date Wednesday night. You continue to bite your tongue as you sit across from him in the ready-room.
-----------------------
After another lunch-date with your dad in his office, you do your best to avoid both Rooster and Bob. And thank goodness all of you are being let out early today, or you wouldn’t be able to sit through another hour of going over everyone else’s flights.
“Alright, that’s everything I have for today. Depending on weather conditions on Monday, we may not have you come in, but I’ll keep you posted. Stay safe this weekend everyone.” Checking your watch, it reads 3:00, only an hour before your session which leaves you a little anxious. But after last night you are more than ready to get the help you need.
You’re out of the class room before everybody else, and soon enough gathering your stuff from your locker. Phoenix stops you before you can get out the door and to your dad’s office to wait for him.
“Hey! Floyd was looking for you.” You try your best to not look surprised at the notion, but you can feel your face contort in confusion.
“Oh, is he-”, you motion to the door of the locker room, asking if he’s waiting for you outside.
“No, he had to go. But”, reaching into her pocket, she grabs something and holds it out for you, “He did tell me to give you this.” And in between her fingers, Phoenix holds a penny. The sight of an object so abundantly common as a coin has you holding your breath. You have seen so many pennies throughout your life, but who this one came from means so much more to you than any other has. Swallowing, you reach out and gingerly take it from her hands, as if it would break if you dropped it. Strangely, you can feel your face heat up at the notion. That’s what he was trying to tell you earlier. He’s still ready and willing to listen if you need to talk.
 “Is this some kind of weird inside joke between the two of you or did he really just owe you one cent?” You grip the copper coin as if it were his own hand reaching out to you, and place it in your pocket.
“No”, you laugh, “it’s just something Bob does.” Her brow raises as she stares at you with a weary eye. Obviously not understanding what’s so funny about it.
-----------------------
As if you couldn’t be more anxious for this zoom, your dad was held up by both Cyclone and Warlock when you got to his office. There’s only 20 minutes before your meeting when you get home, so unlike what you had planned you can’t take a shower beforehand. Still needing to change out of your flight suit, you put on a random shirt and jeans that were lying around your cluttered room. You glance at your own watch, 3:55. Before you forget, you run downstairs to find your dad putting his tennis shoes on.
“Hey”, you grab his attention as he looks up from the couch, “I just thought I’d let you know my meeting’s about to start in like five minutes so…”
“Don’t even worry about me”, he reassures you, “I’ll be outside doing yard work the entire time. Might as well do it now before I can’t do it this weekend.” Smiling, he gets up with his sneakers on and gives you a wink before shutting the front door behind him.
Popping your earbuds in, you open your laptop. Your palms are sweating as you click on the link in your email. A blank screen pops up with a small wheel telling you it’s loading, and then you see her. Mary. Your first and only therapist. The first person you ever told your deep dark secrets to. Bob being the second and only other. She speaks your name softly as you smile at the warmness in her tone. It takes you back to when you were only a student, having no idea how to traverse the world without the proper support.
“It’s good to see you”, her honey voice greets you.
“It’s good to see you, too”, you nod. You notice that even through the camera, she’s letting her gray hair take over what was mostly a thick and lucious black when you first met her. There’s a few more crinkles around her eyes that you find when she smiles at you, but it’s still like greeting an old friend.
“So how’s it going, how have you been?”
“Um”, you laugh awkwardly, “Things could be better.”
“Ok, why don’t you go ahead and tell me why you reached out.” Breathing out a shaky breath you start talking. You tell her about the dreams returning, the panic attacks, how you didn’t know where you were when you were gone for hours. She takes diligent notes the entire time, nodding and assuring you she’s listening.
“So let me ask you a question; do you know what triggered these nightmares? Did something happen?” You think back to the night you kissed Bob and before you can even get butterflies, the image of your mother in your dream pops the bubble. Taking a leap of faith and a deep breath all in the same beat, you turn back to the camera.
“This is all in confidence, right?” She sighs your name before answering.
“You know it is. Unless what you did put other people or yourself in harm’s way then we are fine to discuss it without me telling anyone.” Taking out one earbud, you can still hear your dad with the lawnmower, so you continue.
“I kissed someone. Twice. It was after the first time that I had a nightmare.”
“I’m not seeing the problem here.”
“He’s on my squadron. And there is a pretty strict no fraternization rule.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Yeah. So I broke a rule, made him break a rule. And I guess I just feel so guilty about it. And I did something wrong, which is why I had the dream.”
“And you had the second dream after the second kiss?”
“Not the night of. I didn’t get a lot of sleep because I was scared of it happening again. But last night was the second one. It was…terrifying. I didn’t think they were gonna come back. And I just blew up on everyone the first time around. My dad, Bradley-”
“Wait, Bradley as in, the Bradley that you grew up with?”
“That’s the one.”
“And you just see him regularly now? I mean I was looking through all your old notes and you were still pretty upset with him. Does time really heal all wounds?” You chuckle at her sarcasm.
“No, not really. It was awkward at first. But I hardly talked to him while we were working on the special detachment. After it was over, it looked like he made up with my dad, and we were made a permanent squadron. That’s when it started going downhill. Long story short, we were just kind of bickering, not really talking about the elephant in the room. He ended up saying something, I had a panic attack, then I punched him, then he started-”
“Wait, wait, wait- You punched him? I am going to need the long version of the story here. We don’t do short stories in therapy.” So you explain. Everything. How your little comments started to quickly cut deeper, how he told you to be careful before your drinking contest, and all the little warnings after the fact. And then the devastating moment where he betrayed your trust completely, leading to Bob comforting you at one of your lowest moments. And then of course, when you punched him, and how he’s been trying to get on your good side ever since, how he claims he thought you were calling to brag. As if he didn’t know what your mother was like.
“Wow. That’s a lot.” You nod in agreement. “How has it been with him since?”
“It’s so weird. He’s tried to do a complete 180, and claims he’s watching out for me. He was actually at the party, the one where I kissed- um…”
“You don’t have to say his name, it’s ok.”
“My teammate”, you find the courage to finish.
“This is a lot to process in such a short amount of time. How have you been handling it?” You scoff at just how many times you’ve had panic attacks and cried within the last month.
“Not well. Which is why I thought I should reach out.”
“I’m glad you did. I wish that therapy was a one and done kind of situation, but it’s going to take some time. Are you ready for that kind of commitment again? I know it got busy last time, and with deployments it was hard. But are you ready to put in the work?” You sigh and silently nod your head, biting your lip to avoid speaking with a frog in your throat.
“Well I hate to say this, but I think your dreams may be happening for a different reason than they did way back when they first started.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you came to me such a short time after the abuse stopped.” You try not to flinch at the word, but instinctively shut your eyes when she says it. “ When you stopped seeing her you were scared she was going to come back and find you. Now, I think your brain is reliving some memories to punish yourself. Because you feel guilty. And the fact that you see parts of her in you is making you resent yourself even more. Making you push people away before they can do the same to you.” Huh, you think.
“Does that resonate with you at all?” You laugh because it’s the only thing you can do at the moment. She hit the damn nail on the head.
“Yeah. Yeah it does.”
“Next time if you have a dream, here’s what I want you to do: I want you to find at least five things about yourself that are completely different from your mom. It can be little things in the way you look, the way you act, or anything. Because you are different. You aren’t her.” Your eyes sting at the influx of tears, and you lean your head back to stop them from falling.
“Ok, I know this was a pretty heavy session, so I want to end it on a higher note. I would like you to tell me at least three people in your life right now that make you feel loved, special, or wanted.” You shake your head, physically trying to put your mentality in a different spot than where it was at with your mother. Reaching for a tissue, you dab the straggling tears that threaten to fall.
“Um- ok. My dad, my friend Natasha”, you list out, still thinking about a third person. You can’t help that the third person your mind is pushing you to say is also the one person you’ve been trying to avoid thinking about. But it’s true. He makes you feel special and so wanted it’s kind of overwhelming, “And my friend Bob.”
-----------------------
With a deep breath you close your laptop and take out your ear buds. Your room feels stuffy all of a sudden, like all your thoughts and feelings are trapped into the sealed box. You stride across the room to open your window, and you hear your dad talking to someone. Then the snap of what you only know as a baseball hitting a glove echoes across the house. Unfortunately for your snoopy personality right now, your window faces the side of the neighbors, so you descend the stairs and look through the window in the living room.
The weather is surprisingly warm and sunny for a day before a storm. Perfect weather for spending outside you suppose. Your dad stands at one end of the yard, throwing the ball as you follow the line to the glove worn by, of course, Rooster. All of these old feelings came to life when you had to talk about him and everything else that has been happening for the past hour. When thinking about everyone who makes you feel loved, special, and wanted, Rooster did not make the cut. In fact, he has made you feel unwanted, unloved, and unimportant for the past 10 years. He threw you away like you were nothing, and even if he did apologize, it doesn’t take away the hurt that he left you with. But here he is. Throwing a baseball around with your dad like he didn’t avoid him for the last 16 years.
You huff out a breath before opening the front door, and plastering on a fake smile. If you were going to talk to him now was as good a time as any. You kind of feel bad for him, he had no idea he was walking into when he came over today. 
“Hey dad”, you squint through the fading sun as the two men look your way.
“Oh hey kiddo! How was your… meeting?”
“It was good, very”, you turn and squint slightly more at Rooster who tosses the ball up and back into his hand, “enlightening.”
“That’s good. Rooster here just popped over with a box of some old things, and we found our baseball gloves.”
“I can see that. Mind if I have a go?” He tries not to look as surprised as he feels by your request, but starts taking off his glove as you walk over to him.
“Sure.” You take the warm leather glove, slipping it onto your hand as you adjust to the feeling. Slapping the worn palm, you flap it a couple times in Rooster’s direction as he tosses it at you. Not throws. Tosses. Catching it in your bare hand, you raise your brow at him.
“Really?”
“What?”
“You act like we weren’t taught to throw a ball by the same person”, you note as you hook your thumb to your dad standing just to the side. “Throw it like you mean it.” Rolling the ball a couple times in your hand, you grip it and throw the fading white ball straight at Bradley’s chest. He manages to catch it with little time to spare, obviously underestimating just how hard you can throw. He glances over to your dad with wide eyes as he shrugs back with a smile. A hint of pride in his features. Rooster looks back at you while you open and close your glove a couple times.
“You sure you can handle it?” You roll your eyes at his assumption. Either he thinks too highly of his throwing ability, or way too low of your ability to catch a damn ball.
“Yes. I’ve handled a lot worse that you’ve thrown my way, so-”, you flap the glove once more, “try me.”
Rooster winces at the insinuation. But he gives up holding back, not all the way quite yet, but he throws it back with some of the power he was using with your dad. You continue throwing and catching the ball as your dad watches on with a warm smile.
“Alright”, he comments, “Looks like you two are doing fine, so I’m gonna go finish mowing the lawn.” He heads through the gate to the backyard as Rooster gets finished catching your last throw to him. Rooster takes the ball into his hand to throw back, but hesitates before putting it back in his glove.
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know”, he responds as if pondering the question himself, “You’ve just got this look in your eye.” He winds up, and you catch the ball as he throws it at your chest. Mirroring his earlier action, you roll the ball around in your palm as you contemplate your next move.
“I’ve always got that look in my eye. If I don’t have it, that means something’s wrong.” You throw it back the tiniest bit harder, but Rooster does well to mask his surprise at the force. He’s still got that hint of suspicion on his face, but otherwise ignores it and is about to throw the ball back before you speak up.
“Oh, there is one thing”, you laugh without any real humor, “How was your date with Emily?” The ball slips from his hand as he attempts to throw it at you, causing it to fly up in the air before landing and rolling to your feet. His mouth opens and closes before he finally decides to say something as you raise an eyebrow at him.
“It was- it was- Where’d you hear about that?” Stepping forward, you pick up the ball.
“For an old man who means well, my dad can’t keep a secret to save his life.”
“I-”, he stands with his hands on his hips, confusion written on his face. There is no way you were supposed to know about this, and now he’s been caught. It feels good for a fraction of a second. “It wasn’t a secret.” He says as he kicks the grass. He reminds you of that little boy you once knew, getting in trouble and trying to hide his guilt. But before you stands the grown man who still can’t handle the consequences of his own actions.
“I just can’t believe you Rooster.” You throw the ball back to him as he looks up. Hard. It pushes the glove back into his chest and his lips twist into a grimace.
“For what? Going on a date?”, his voice raises the slightest bit as he throws it back to you. Just as hard. The only difference being you were ready for it.
“Not for that you idiot. For going on a date with her!”.
“What’s wrong with her?” Without meaning to, your jaw drops as you look around the street of your neighborhood. Your dad’s lawnmower is still going in the backyard as you turn to him.
“Are you kidding me? Rooster, it was your idea to set her up with Bob, and after she laughed in his face you decided to stick your tongue down her throat in the middle of the party and then what? Ask her out?”
“Ok, she kissed me. And it obviously wasn’t going to work out between the two of them! Why are you so upset about this?”
“Because even if she supposedly didn’t know she was being set up with Bob, you did! I mean, what the hell kind of wingman are you? But you know what?”, you decide as you throw the ball back to him, closer to his face this time, “You two assholes deserve each other.” The ball lands in his glove as he’s quick to catch it just below his chin.
“Whoa. Hold on. You’re kind of being an asshole right now.”
“Are not”, you huff.
“Are too”, he mimics.
“How am I the one being an asshole for trying to defend my friends?”
“Uh-un. Friend. Singular. And you’re being a little too defensive for someone you claim is just your friend.” You swallow, glancing to the gate leading to the backyard, the hum from the lawnmower still going. There’s not a chance he could have heard what he said, but you’re still paranoid nonetheless. Rooster’s winding up as you look back at him, giving you barely enough time to catch the ball right in front of your face. You’d be lying if you said your hand didn’t sting from the force of his throw.
“Keep your voice down”, you grit in his direction. He just shakes his head.
“So I’m right then”, he scoffs. “You just don’t learn, do you?” You snap back to him as his lip lifts. As if he knows something more than you. He couldn’t be more condescending if he tried.
“Learn what?”, you snap, “Don’t act like you’re not doing this for any other reason than to rid yourself of whatever guilt you have left.” You grunt, throwing the ball as hard as you can as he catches it with ease. Almost as if you’re playing catcher, he plays his part as pitcher beautifully, winding up even more than before, throwing the ball back to you almost immediately. The ball snaps in the glove you hold up in front of your face.
“That guilt will live with me for the rest of my life.” The draw of his brows beneath the beating sun tells you he’s angry. Maybe not with you, but it’s still anger either way, and it has to be let out somehow. “So if I can stop you from making a mistake, keep you from breaking your heart even more than I have, I will do whatever it takes.” Oh you’re angry now. You throw the ball with everything you have back at him. You are not some dumb kid like he was when he left. You’ve been through enough to have grown up younger than you should have.
“If you really cared about how I felt- or how anybody other than yourself felt that for that matter, you wouldn’t set someone up with a woman who is so obviously wrong for him. And then”, you laugh, “after she’s embarrassed him you wouldn’t kiss her in front of him and go on a damn date with her!” He only shakes his head at the ground before gripping the baseball in his right hand, rolling it around.
“I set him up to try and stop you from making a mistake. I was doing it to protect you!” The sound of a dog barking has you whipping your head to the street to your left. It sounds almost identical to Sylvia but you can’t seem to find the source of the noise. Your heart beats a little faster at the thought of him taking her for a walk nearby. That would be such god-awful timing. The thought of him possibly walking Sylvia down your street has you too rattled, and you’re slightly disappointed with yourself.
The searing pain hits you before the ball even falls to the ground, as you do with it.
“Jesus Christ!”, you scream as you fall to your back, cradling the side of your face the baseball hit.
“Oh shit! Oh my god- are you ok?”, Rooster appears on his knees right next to you, brown eyes wide as you’ve ever seen them as he grimaces along with you. The glove is just big enough for you to be able to throw it off of your hand, hitting him in the chest as you writhe on the freshly cut grass. You can’t help it as the hot tears slide out of your eyes, the pain too much.
“Hey, hey you’re fine! Don’t cry, please don’t cry!”, he pleads as you try to open your eyes long enough to glare at him.
“You hit me in the face with a fucking baseball of course I’m going to fucking cry!”, you scream. “You IDIOT!”
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I thought you were looking!” You glare at him through your uncovered eye as his hands hover over you. “Ok, are you bleeding? Lemme see.” You glare as hard as you can at him as he backs away. The pulse emanating from the side of your face is stopping you from feeling anything else, but you’re pretty sure that liquid sliding down your face are just stray tears that refuse to stay put.
“Ok, that’s fine. Um-”, he panics as you beg yourself to stop crying in front of him. “Alright, I’m gonna go get some ice, stay right here.” And before you have the mind to make a smart comment about going anywhere, your hands reach out and wrap around his ankle. The unexpected movement causes his weight to shift forward, giving him no time to brace himself as he falls to the ground. It doesn’t relieve any pain, but it feels good to watch him face plant onto the grass. There was still so much to say, too much you feel as though you can’t even get out your feelings through your words.
“Hey, what the hell?!”, he turns over as you grab your discarded glove.
“You were protecting me?!”. He does his best to dodge your blows, but it’s no use as he puts his hands up to protect himself and his stupid face. With the glove in both your hands, you whack at his torso. “I have been taking care of myself since I was 12!”, you grunt as you continue to hit him. “I am a grown woman! I don’t need to be lectured by anybody, especially not you!”
“I’m sorry, just stop!”, it’s obviously more of a nuisance than actually hurting him, but you are in so much pain right now you just want to get him back anyway you can. He attempts to crawl away on his back, but you stop him by sitting on his stomach, causing him to grunt at the unexpected weight.
“HEY!”, you pause at the sound of your dad’s voice, arms lifted in the air mid-blow. Rooster is still covering his face with his arms as he turns to look at your dad. “What is going on?!” Your arms are still in the air as the two of you look at each other before attempting to speak over one another.
“He started it!” “It was an accident!”, you yell at the same time. The sound of his voice has you looking down at the audacity of the man you are currently pinning to the grass.
“Why would you throw a ball at someone who isn’t looking?!”
“I thought you were!”, he’s quick to defend himself. You catch his gaze soften as his eyes shift to the right side of your face where he hit you with the ball.
“Inside, now!”, he orders as you and Rooster scramble to your feet. He walks ahead of you as your dad trails behind you. “Good afternoon Mrs. Callahan!” You turn to find your neighbor walking her goldendoodle just across the street, eyeing the state of all three of you that your dad doesn’t try to hide. One of the biggest differences between your parents. Your mother would have walked you delicately into the house pretending everything was under control and just fine. Until she closed the door. Your dad on the other hand, he knows things aren’t under his control and he doesn’t try to hide it. He’s not trying to keep up some image. It’s easy when you don’t care what other people think.
The dog barks once more before your dad ushers you inside.
He urges the two of you to sit on the couch as he runs to grab the first-aid kid, and you take one side begrudgingly as Rooster takes the other. Your face is starting to throb, but once you look down at your jeans you notice the grass and dirt stains on not only your knees, but your hands as well. You’re sure the back of them look the same, as do Rooster’s clothes.
Your dad sits on the coffee table before you, leaning forward as his hand gently moves your face so he can examine it. He tuts as you’re forced to look over at Rooster, who as you expected, is covered in grass stains as he twiddles with his thumbs. You can’t help but wonder why he’s still listening to your dad, it’s not like when you were younger and he was left in charge of the two of you. He can leave if he wants to.
“Well”, your dad starts as he reaches for the gauze, “It’s not bleeding too bad…” Huh, so you guess some of that liquid was blood. “Probably from the stitching”, he talks to himself as you wince from the pressure he’s applying.
“It’s gonna leave a nice bruise, though”, Wordlessly you push his hand away and apply the pressure yourself as he eyes you once before looking at the man on the other end of the couch.
“You ok Rooster?”
“‘M fine”, he mumbles back.
“Good”, he says as he rounds the coffee table. “Cause what the hell is going on? Huh? I left for two minutes!” He takes one hand off of his hips to point at the two of you, ready to go into a rant before his phone rings from where he left it in the kitchen. Glancing between the pair of you and back to the kitchen he slides a dirty hand down his face.
“Wait right here”, he demands pointing at the two of you before locating the source of the ringing. The only thing you can hear is the muffled sound of your dad talking on the phone, and the slight shift of Rooster on the other end of the couch.
“I’m really sorry-”
“Just-”, you cut Rooster off, “shut up.” He’s quiet for a second. Just a second. Before he decides he’s not going to listen to you.
“I got a concussion from getting hit in the head with a ball”, he comments as you roll your eyes. As if you could have forgotten. “Mom took me to the ER just in case, and as per usual, she was right.”
“I know, Rooster”, you interrupt him. “I was there. It was the summer you were on that comp baseball team.”
“I know you were. I just wanna remind you in case you feel like brushing this one off.”
“I’m not-”, you scoff, “What makes you think I’m gonna ‘brush this one off’?” He shrugs and scratches the back of his neck.
“I just remember you always saying when you got hurt that it wasn’t a big deal. Concussions are kind of a big deal.”
“I know- I’ve had one.” His brow furrows as he turns to face you, concern written into the creases in his forehead.
“Wait- when did you have one?” Your face turns hot as you realize you’ve revealed more than you would have liked to.
“I don’t know”, you shrug as you try to avoid his gaze, ”I was like 14.”
“Well what happened?” Taking away the gauze from your face, there’s a small line of blood, but nothing else. You trade it out for the icepack on the table and gently press it to where you’re hurting.
“I fell into a wall”, you tell him as you focus on the sting it brings to your cheek.
“You just fell into a wall?”
“Yeah- I tripped over something in my room.” It’s quiet for a moment as he mulls over what he’s about to say.
“Did you fall or were you pushed?” The color drains from your face as you clench your jaw. How dare he? You turn to face him, dropping both hands into your lap so he has to look at your entire face. Look at what he did.
“No. You don’t get to do this. You don’t just get to pick and choose when you’re loyal or protective. You left, Rooster. You knew what was going on and you still decided to leave. So whatever happened after I didn’t see you for 16 years, you don’t deserve to know.” He’s quiet as his eyes soften at you.
“And as for Bob-”, you clear your throat, “He’s my friend. And I will defend any of my friends. That included you at one point. I did in fact. I defended you when Hangman made his stupid comments, but now you’re the one who keeps running his mouth, and- and hanging around people who think it’s fine to be so blatantly rude. So you know what, Emily might just be perfect for you.” His mouth opens and closes before he thinks better than to say anything.
“As far as I’m concerned, you don’t owe me anything and I don’t want anything from you. So stop thinking you’re protecting me when all you do is keep reminding me of everything I have lost and can’t have.” He’s actually quiet now, you think you  have stunned him into a complete silence. This may just be the time for him to listen, so you’re gonna say what you’ve been wanting to say for a long time.
“When your mom died- I wasn’t just grieving for her. I-“, your throat starts to close up but you push through it anyway, “you left. You left and I never heard from you again and I had to grieve for someone who wasn’t even dead. He chose to leave and never come back. And I know that you were hurting, but so was I.” He clears his throat as you listen to your dad finishing up his conversation. The ice pack crinkles as you press it against your face once more. It really does fucking hurt. “So please, just once, think of how your actions affect anybody else but yourself.”
He doesn’t bother saying anything else. What else is there to say? A sorry won’t even make a difference anymore. He’s said it too many times for the words to have meaning when they leave his lips. You watch his adam's apple bob before deciding you don’t want to look at him even more. The only thing you can hear is the faint sound of your dad from the kitchen, tying up the end of his phone call. Then you’re almost sure you can hear Bradley sniffle before he abruptly stands, staring at his hands.
“I’m gonna go. There are a couple things for you in that box”, he motions to the cardboard rectangle sitting on the coffee table. He clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck. “If you keep getting headaches that won’t go away- just please go get checked out. I uh-”, this is the first time in a long time you’ve seen him so nervous he can’t find his words. One of the last times was speaking at Carole’s funeral, and your eyes can’t help but tear up at the parallel. “Mantis- I don’t want to hurt you. But I know I already did, so I’ll leave you alone. I’m sorry”, he whispers his apology before heading to the front door. Your dad is walking in just as he leaves.
“Where’s Rooster?”
“He had to go”, you say with a clogged throat. He stands with his hands on his hips, perplexed at the entire situation.
“Well- do I need to talk to him?”
“No”, the words fall from your lips, “It’s fine.” He catches the far-off look in your eyes as you stare at the cardboard box on the table.
“Hey”, he almost whispers to get your attention. You look up with unshed tears in your eyes. “Are you ok?” It hurts to swallow as you try your best not to break the barrier of crying.
“It just hurts”, you explain, not entirely sure what part you’re talking about. He opens his mouth to say something else, but you stand before you let him talk. “I’m gonna go lie down. I’ve had a long day.” With a skeptical eye he lets you go, but not before sending you with the ice pack and letting you know he’d be up to check on you.
Once your back is turned and you’ve made it up the last steps, the first of many tears fall without much trying. You turn the shower on instead of lying in bed, deciding to do something somewhat productive. And once out you try your best not to look in the mirror, but catch sight of your cheek. It’s already swollen, an undertone of purple creeping out from the tiny cut from the stitching of the ball.
After getting into bed you stare at the ceiling, letting the day sink in. You lie there for a moment, trying to quiet your thoughts in order to let you sleep, but they’re too loud. Turning over, you stare at your bedside table. A framed picture you keep of you and Carole sits next to your phone. You can almost hear her laugh through the glossy finish of the photo, but you see Bradley in her smile through and through. A tear slides across your face and lands on your pillow, darkening the fabric. And you let it happen. You let the next one happen, too. And then you don’t stop yourself from crying.
Letting the rest out, you fold your knees to your chest and allow yourself to cry. You cry for Carole, for how much you miss her and how much life she missed out on. And you cry for Bradley. Even if he did hurt you, you cry because you miss him, too. And you cry because you wish you were brave. You wish you had the courage to say something to someone when you were younger. And even now, you cry because you wish you had the strength to look Bob in the eye and say- anything. Get past your own fears of rejection and punishment, and let him know that you see him for what he is. A good person, who deserves everything and more. And you know someday he’ll find someone who is more than eager to give that to him. Even if you already are, it can't be you.
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