#will reblog later with lots of bullet points of facts and stuff

[shibumi-tanuki]

Here it is: the Christ Thorndyke rewrite.

Prepare yourselves, I have SO much to say about this

Name: Chris Thorndyke

Age: 13 years old (season 1 and 2)

Being the only child of a wealthy CEO and renounced model, Chris was born to a life of luxury and solitude. He doesn't remember either of his parents showing up for the entrance ceremony of his first day of primary school, nor for any academic events that happened in the years to come. His birthdays were the few times he got to speak with his parents in a way that wasn't through rushed phone calls right before his bed time or when he was due to leave for school (his parents couldn't care less for keeping up with time zone differences while they were abroad). It didn't help he had no friends at school; at first, dozens of children from school would show up for his birthday parties, but they always asked to see what Chris' parents had gifted him— unbeknownst to them these were more apology gifts for not being around most of the year than birthday gifts. However, Chris didn't care much for the mountains of toys and games— after a while, they got boring anyway. Instead, he proposed to go play in the park or venture out into the nearby woods in search of adventure, but ultimately resigned to forcibly smiling as his "friends" took turns using a remote control race car per their request.

Chris always liked the outdoors: It wasn't stuffy, and he didn't need to watch where he ran in fear of knocking over an expensive vase and being chastised by the maids and Mr. Tanaka for it. For a while, he forgot who we even was, and the only thing on his mind was seeing how far he could climb up a tree or what crevices and natural passageways he might encounter. Of course, it never lasted. Eventually a maid would come out looking for him and off he was to take a shower and have dinner by himself. Again.

Now, it wasn't like he was completely alone. He had his grandfather! Yes, an energetic man for his age, always interested in engineering and robotics, sometimes to the point of forgetting to sleep or eat. Chris always thought of him as the second coolest person he knew (his uncle Sam was first), but that didn't change the fact he did he wish his grandfather would take more breaks, or even spend time with him for a change...

At any rate, time passed by, and Chris grew.

Each year, his parents became more busy as their fame grew, and so did Chris' resentment towards them.

Other kids got to see their parents cheer for them at school music presentations and stage plays, they got to run into their arms every day after school and go home to a cozy home where they could tell their family about their day over dinner.

But not Chris.

Chris, on the other hand, could expect to see an indifferent maid holding up a camera with not an ounce of emotion on her face or Mr. Tanaka doing the same thing. "That was great, master Christopher," they would say, and Chris would try to make himself small as a flurry of eyes from parents and kids alike turned to him.

There were whispers of amazement, others of pity, and the boy hated them all the same.

Why? He wondered. Why was he only known as his parents' son? As the kid who had everything he could ask for yet wanted nothing of it? Why couldn't he just have been born a normal kid to a normal family in the first place?

And so he sought an escape.

He neglected all the new clothes his parents sent him from overseas and opted for comfortable clothes he bought on his own with his allowance, setting out for the city's skating park where he'd spent his afternoons perfecting tricks and jumps that would have had the maids and Mr. Tanaka physically stop him from even thinking about attempting. It was his sanctuary, his release, and boy did Chris fall in love with the exhilarating feeling that came with it.

One night, however, his life would be turned upside down by an unlikely encounter with a blue and snarky hedgehog...

[parkerflix]

-ANNOUNCEMENT PLEASE READ!

Hello! I know that this post is a long time coming, i keep hinting towards it but have yet to actually make it. (yes i am currently writing this at work- anyways). I kinda wanted to be transparent with everyone about everything and have a few things to address. I’ll mkae them bullet points so feel free to ignore the parts you really don’t care about. Okay enough of me rambling.

The layout of the blog

As you can see, the blog looks a little different ? why is that? Well, i’ve kinda decided i was tired of how things looked and i wanted to do something different. I’ve been active on this blog for going onto 3 years, and i’ve changed the layout very little. It’s time to try something new & also try different writing!

Kpop content

With you trying different writing, what does this mean for your kpop content? I will continue to write for kpop and the fandoms i currently write for, but i will not be branching out from those two fandoms. Quite honestly. Kpop writing just doesn’t bring me joy as much as it used to and the engagement i get varies as to what member i post which honestly just doesn’t motivate me. I also don’t get a lot of feedback or engagement currently, and its unmotivating. With this being said, my current fics as of this time ( starstruck & about love) are currently on two different routes. Starstruck is currently in it’s final chapters and im hoping and aiming for a release of all the chapters all at once. I’ll be able to distinguish that at a later date.

About love

About love has been my work for almost 2 years now. I’ve learned a lot about my writing since then, and how to manage plot lines. That being said, about love will be on a permanent hiatus for the foreseeable future. Why is this? Well once again engagement comes into play, along with the fact that where i wanted the story to go and where it was going just wasn’t happening. I am planning on revamping it, making the story more clearer & what i want it to say, and really sticking to it. Hopefully it’ll still be a smau, but for now, until i can plan it all out and really focus on it, it’s going to be on hiatus. I’ll be unlinking it from my nav fairly soon after this post goes up.

Other writing

I want to venture into other fandoms that aren’t kpop and make my side blogs more for reblogs & fic recs, and to be able to write what i want and enjoy my writing. There are fics that i’ve posted within the last year, that have been published for kpop, but when writing them i envisioned with either a different person or a different character. It’s something that i’ve been thinking about for a while, so i’m hoping that it’ll be interesting to those who are only here for kpop writing!

Posting

If you haven’t noticed, my posting schedule has gotten a bit… lacking for a while. I started a new job in june of last year, and it’s been a little hectic at my job. I work anywhere from 30-36 hours a week, and my days currently consist of (mostly) 3 12 hour shifts. I’m also responsible for a lot of things at work, so I keep busy most of the time. When i’m not busy, i’m supposed to be working on work stuff (this is being written with timings in consideration of not getting caught) and so most of my day goes there. My normal schedule i work 5 out of the 6 days we are open, and i’m here 6 hours each day ( there go my nights). Why am i explaining all of this? Well i typically write during the night and with my hectic work schedule also comes my school schedule. Recently i’ve been having trouble even working on school just because work takes up so much of my time. I’ve also had a LOT of personal issues within my life, outside of tumblr & work that has taken up mentally space & my time. I’m trying to get back into the rhythm of things and have a normal posting schedule for the fics that i am tying up, but for the foreseeable future, that will also be a compromise.

TDLR:

the blog will change but i won’t stop writing kpop it’s just not going to be kpop writing on here though, i will be changing my user & updating my links but that takes time so please bare w/ me while i do. about love is on permanent hiatus & updates are slow for everything else. I know this post is long and redundant, and you probably don’t care, but i felt it was better to explain & be honest about my writings. I’m grateful for those who follow me, keep up with my fics, and just support me. Thank you! Okay this was long & i need to do my closing tasks for the night! xxx

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

I don't know if someone ever asked you this, but what's your process for making the recaps, especially in days where multiple people stream?

It’s a little complicated, and it’s gotten more complicated over time as the format’s gotten more complex (adding the VOD links at the top was by an anon request, for example), but it honestly mostly depends on the day

Usually on days where multiple people stream, there will only be one Lore™️ stream if any (though obviously on other days there’s...a Whole Lot More), so that’s the one I focus on noting down in detail. The other ones I’m more relaxed on and if something important happens that I miss, usually I get some helpful anons who let me know! You guys are my saviors lol, where would I be without you

Chill streams, if I have the time to include them, I usually just skim through the VOD pretty quickly and see like, what’s the gist of what happened. I’m not about to do lore-level detail for Tubbo and Ranboo’s late-night chaos conversations, y’know? Whiiiiiich is how I missed the fact that they got married when it first happened LMAO

I’m lucky enough to have a schedule and time zone that works well for doing this, so while it’s hard work, the only time when it gets genuinely difficult are 1. When I actually DO have a ton of other work to get done for classes and stuff, or 2. When it’s a day where a shit ton happens in the plot

(I should mention that in the coming weeks school work will be getting tough for me, so I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to keep up with. I’m honestly a bit surprised I’ve managed so far, but if it gets to be too much, I’ll reblog and point you all to a different recap account if I can’t do my own :)

I think the most difficult one there’s been is still Doomsday, since there were SO many perspectives and each one had something different going on, it was a hell of a time trying to keep track of everything and put the bullet points in chronological order to the best of my ability. Tommy’s death day was another difficult one since so many people did other lore in reaction to it

In general, the process usually goes:

- Jot down bullet points for the plot stuff, take some screenshots for fun

- Skim other VODs to get the gist of them if I have time

- Look back over it and put in bold the important points, format any quotes

- Add the Upcoming Events and End of Week Recap to the end if there is one

- (At the end of the week it takes some extra time to go through the past six recaps and summarize)

- Collect all the VOD links and link them at the top

- Come up with the synopsis for the start 

It’s a passion project, so while it’s a lot of work, I ultimately don’t mind it. 

Dream SMP’s kind of a fandom that...gatekeeps itself? In a way? since it’s complicated and difficult to keep up with what’s going on at times, and it’s so easy for the fandom’s collective memory to falter on older plot points if they’re not recorded somewhere.

And you probably saw from my posts yesterday that archiving that story history and trying to preserve it is something I’m pretty passionate about, especially as a long-time viewer. I don’t want half the story to only be available from the memories in people’s heads, y’know?

I like to emphasize to people that there’s no need to keep up with every single POV. In fact, it’s pretty much impossible to. A lot of the charm in the fandom’s character analyses and debates comes from the fact that we’re all kind of in the position of the characters themselves? In that, a lot of the fandom sticks to one or two key POVs to follow and might not know what’s going on in the other ones.

So if I can make it easier for people to keep track of the overall plot and not miss out on big details while still being able to stick to that key POV and consume the story in a way that’s comfortable for them? That’s my goal! 

And if seeing something in a recap that makes you go “huh, that’s interesting, I might check out that other POV later” gets people to branch out and try new things too? That’s also amazing!

[wavesmp3]

directors cut: oasis

[doing this entirely for myself, out of pure self indulgence lol] [this will be very messy/poorly organized and there will be spoilers]

okay so where to even begin omg..... we will start with the origins of oasis:

its actually, techinically a spin off of the world from this drabble with dino from svt. which the world in this drabble is what the world from oasis would look like very far in the future. but i changed a lot between writing that drabble and creating oasis. but there should be a scene in the drabble that is very similar to a part in oasis (hint: the first vision they got from saskila was not just a random vision with no meaning.......hehe)

but that drabble (its titled dreamscapes) was inspired by a mix of this post on tumblr about how nuclear waste warning signs sounded very cool and the book that i was reading called the children of blood and bone by tomi adeyemi

and then after i had made that drabble i saw dee’s (@/atbzkingdom’s) post about the time capsule collab, and i had a couple ideas of what i could do for it but i ultimately decided on what would eventually become oasis !! so i guess we really have dee and that collab to thank for this piece lol

now for the timeline of me writing:

so i started outlining this piece in the first couple days of january, and normally outlines take me a while to come up with just because i struggle in coming up with plot, but i knew that my spring semester of classes would be starting soon and that I didn’t have a lot of time so i just sort of grinded an outline out as well several paragraphs of pure worldbuilding. 

and then i started writing

and wow i was Really writing!! at my peak productivity i was easily getting down like 2k a day which for me is insane (for reference, i wrote 1k a day for tsiytt and i struggled my way through that) 

but then life happens classes had begun and my writing for oasis slowly become nothing... 

i really only found the time to work on the piece every other weekend, so i was really nervous that i wouldn’t finish in time (which technically i didn’t cause it was supposed to come out march 1st) but luckily i did

and at some point in february, i had lost so much of my momentum and motivation for this piece that i almost gave up on it. (at this point i was writing the scenes after they find the seat of wisdom destroyed) but again luckily i did not, but i personally can definitely see a decline in the quality of my writing towards the end (i mean maybe its in my head, but its sort of like i can see the loss of love for the wip in my writing at the end of it)

but don’t misunderstand, i still love oasis!! and in all honesty, i’m already considering starting a second draft to it, which is way sooner than i thought i would lol

also when i started writing this piece, i began writing it in the order that it would be read, but then halfway i switched to writing chronologically

anyways, something i learned while writing this piece, is that writing is a marathon. whereas, even with my longer pieces, i always viewed writing as a sprint. so as i start venturing into original works and more lengthy pieces of writing, i think this was a very valuable lesson for me to have learned.

okay now to the good stuff lol: [the first word of the bullet about the next chapter (?) is bolded for some crumbs of an organized commentary]

so this is jumping to the first past bit... but when i first wrote farah i had a very different plan for her character than who she ended up being. i had imagined that she’d be a lot more cold and a tough love sort of person. so that’s who i was writing when she’s first introduced in the flashback, but she very quickly become a much kinder full of love sort of person. but anyways i mention this because whenever i read that first part and the introduction of her character, i’m always a bit taken aback by how like mean here character is to crown then lol

also zoar !!!! its a terrible place, but i love that underground city

i also wrote the first flashback after i had written the scene where crown and chanhee are talking at his place in andhor, so the whole “fearless” connection was done very purposefully here since i knew how it’d be referenced in the next scene. someone mentioned this small connection in their reblog but i cant remember who 

also rashi is my favorite character xD

i personally think how crown and chanhee became friends (the running thing) is so cute 

this first bit of conversation between crown and chanhee when it switches back to the present and chanhee is giving them a tour of andhor is actually quite important to me, in the sense that its the first glimpse of how their actual relationship works and how they act together and just like their dynamic despite the fact that they havent seen each other in so long 

and yeah i think kyu mentioned this and a few others, but i love how awkward it is when chanhee and crown are in his home in andhor, cause one: they havent seen each other in years! but also: anyone else find going to someone’s place for the first time oddly intimate, like wow you’re opening up your home to me and now suddenly idk how to sit or stand or what to do with my arms... maybe just me LMAO

DUDE i struggled so hard with making it so that chanhee knew how impossible this whole mission was going to be without actually revealing that he knows about the mirror. it was so hard for me, hopefully it came out alright though. if anyone is reading this, did the twist(s) come as a shock to you? did you see it coming? or did it feel like it came out of absolutely no where and not in a good way?

yes i did name the desert after the department store kohls .....

i was so excited to explain all the mage types, i had so much fun writing this whole chapter 

fun fact: there was originally another sub group of psyche mages called dream mages who had like powers with dreams and stuff, but it ended up being irrelevant and really underdeveloped so it took it out

if anyone else was raised catholic or is catholic then i’d hope you recognize the names of all the relics.... i stole them from a prayer in the rosary whoops

it took me very long time to figure out exactly how the whole soul for the relic business would work, and idk if im a 100% satisfied with what it is/how it works/how it plays into rashi giving chanhee the locket

the note new gives crown.... the first slice of their friendship blooming, bro i eat that shit up 

this part where crown and rashi are talking after the lesson is actually one of my favorites. (like i said i love rashi, but i just really love her interreacting with crown, i think they have such an interesting dynamic and one that i’ve seen irl a lot between students and teachers, where the student adores the teacher... i’ll get more into this later) but moving on, i like it for a number of reasons. one: it’s the first time we as readers get to see rashi talk outside of her role as lesson master. two: i love crown getting this validation from rashi. it’s not really expanded on a lot, but crown’s magic is definitely a bit of an insecurity for them, in the way that they don’t feel like it belongs to them. but here rashi comes, this person that crown looks up to so much, and telling crown that they’re a bit similar when it comes to having magic. and surprising crown by comforting them. and... idk i just really love this moment for crown.

okay this line: “You call your mom Rashi?” is a lowkey reference to game plan,, if anyone knows what i’m talking about then please come clown me for nearly having the entire movie memorized 

oh, i also find the capital really cool. in my head the capital was always one huge building that contains an entire city but i realized while editing that i never really explained that, so idk if i successfully described the capital as cool as it is to me 

also the five friends part.....CUTE

when chanhee says “i know. i remember.” !!! girl i felt that line with my entire chest. idk why

okay wait this part: “But that knowledge seems to fall flat right now. Because despite everything, curiosity won the war.” i love it so much, its that tiny of sliver of hope that gets me personally

i think this part where crown’s pride is so hurt by no one telling them about chanhee’s healing magic is quite important because its a glimpse of how stubborn and prideful and headstrong of a character they can be 

also this : “ ‘and do you believe everything rashi says’ / without hesitation, you answer, ‘yes, of course’ “ this is another example of how highly crown thinks of rashi while growing up, almost to a fault. to the point where crown thought rashi could do no wrong. which i think is so interesting to think about when contrasted with the fight crown and chanhee have in the jungle where crown is the one discussing how rashi was wrong. i just like how much growth crown has had between all these years. and their opinion / perspective on rashi is one of the largest indicators of that growth. 

I also just really like that paragraph where shadow vs healing is explained... I think chanhee’s magic is so sick

oh also the names thing.... I can’t remember where I got the idea to do that from but im so glad I did. its one of my favorite aspects to this world, and it looks like a lot of other people enjoyed it as well. but apart from the intimacy of it, i love how the use of names affects one’s magic. and that paragraph where they go through all that a mage could do with a name. it gives me chills. just cause.... the possibilities

so many people have mentioned this line.... but I must too, so this part: “magic always comes with a price. this is new’s” ..... crazy

saskila scares me omg

again the first vision they see is not a random scene.... the easter eggs I planted with that mwahaha

yeah that scene where they’re outside the tent discussing who should give their name to saskila..... I love that scene chanhee’s “I don’t have anyone but you” and crown deflecting all that tension with the pinky promise and the saskila calling them lovers.... mwah

this random scene about the hot summer and laying with Farah and new in the gardens is another one of my favorite, it’s just so sweet

but this next scene makes me so sad

like I know what happens and I know that everything turns out okay but I get so scared for crown

yeah just that entire part after Rashi gets to them and when they’re going to the infirmary and before crown passes out... I love that whole part. i think i did an effective job of writing the gravity of that whole moment. cause it makes me a little stunned every time I read it. and I was pretty nervous about not being able to do that scene and that moment justice so I’m glad it turned out like it did

and again this line: magic always comes with a price, and in your case, it comes with several.

okay this part after they jump out of the ship and crown is talking to Chanhee but that other dude is talking too... I hope it’s not too confusing. I really wanted to show through the writing that this was all happening at the same time, but idk it came out well. like in my mind I have such a clear picture of this scene, but I have no clue if I did effective job of showing you guys what I’m seeing through the writing

oh yeah, crowns thing about dual wielding and engulfing the blades in flames.... I find that so cool. they’re so sick for that

yeah also the part where crowns hurt and they give Chanhee their name and they use it.... great moment, but I feel like my writing is a bit lacking here. i just know it could be better.

I think at this point of writing my classes had started, and again the disparity in writing quality is so obvious to me 

but the line where chanhee is describing how it all feels, and it says “chanhee feels golden” was inspired by daylight by taylor swift, theres a line in that song that goes “i used to think love would be burning red, but its golden” and like hello the parallels between that and crown’s fire magic.... something to think about 

so this next part where it’s back to the past and crown is getting in trouble (as crown does) but the part where crown is like asking but not directly asking for rashi’s name.... that part is so crazy to me cause it’s feels so out of place. but it was purposeful. i was trying to show that crown’s growing and that they’re at this weird age where they feel invincible. and also i wanted to put more emphasis on how being royal and the heir to the throne kind of effects the relationships crown has

and the last line of this part when rashi says “never abuse it” it gives me chills whew

the next part ... another part that i had high hopes for in the outlining stages of writing, but when it came to actually writing, this scene totally flopped, i’m gonna try not to dwell on this part too much cause i just know most of my comments will be about how much i don’t like it. but just overall, this scene could have been SO MUCH BETTER !

omg this little interaction: ““Look!” Chanhee deadpans, shooting you a glare. “The match is about to begin.” / “Wish me luck.” /  “I hope you lose.”” i think its so funny and cute

“ Your eyes immediately got to Rashi “ another example of how highly crown regards rashi 

“In Wurltan.” hmmmmmm sus.... *laughs in i love mentioning things that won’t make sense to reader until later*

okay this: “Yes, but not just any mage. I…” your voice trails off, pulling at your fingers and looking anywhere but at him. “I wanted you to know.” i cannot stand these two omg 

okay this part: “Chanhee thinks and overthinks the words spoken between you both. His mind drifts off to last night as well, that moment in the tent where you shared your warmth. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring at you until you give him a funny look. He quickly looks away and wonders if you’re overthinking everything as relentlessly as he is.” this part makes me think about what ina said about how chanhee shows his love by keeping you in his thoughts and YEAH chanhee’s love language in this piece is thinking about you and staring LOL

i hate this next part, not cause i don’t like it or anything it just makes me sad 

but this line: “Like if someone shoved you from behind right now, you wouldn’t push back; you’d let yourself fall straight to the ground.” i actually love that line

also this next entire bit i see SO clearly in mind, i hope i wrote it well enough so that you all saw it clearly too

when chanhee wipes the dirt.... girl i’m wiping my tears 

this line : “We’ll lean on each other.” mini love declaration sighhhhhh

yeah that whole part i love so much 

the seat of wisdom :(((( no!!!!!

so about this line: “He stares at his palms, at all the lies buried under each nail and at all the secrets shoved in every crack. He watches as they all blow up in front of his face.” >> i had like ten different versions of it before i settled on this one lol

okay so the first part of the last past flashback with crown realizing their true feelings... so soft 

news gone, rashis’s dead, :((( it makes me so sad

gosh okay this paragraph..... “I’ve always wondered why the gods blessed me and you the way that they have. They entrusted you with such great power. The only person to be both a healing and shadow mage in centuries. And then,” a tear falls from her eye, “they entrusted you to me.” Chanhee thinks this might be the first time he’s seen Rashi cry. “But now I have reason to believe that this was no accident. I’m beginning to think that the gods have always known it would come to this. And I’m starting,” she falters there, “I’m starting to spite them for it.”  it hurts so bad im sorry 

the first confrontation with harlan took me so long to write, and i’m still not sure if i actually like it, so again i will refrain from commenting lol

but the part where crown screams : “YOU LOST THE MIRROR OF JUSTICE!”  I think i told kyu this but this line makes me laugh because in my head its said the same way bella says: “you nicknamed my daughter after the lochness monster” whenever i see that line i smile lol

honestly this argument scene..... one of my absolute faves,,, everything lina said about it in that reblog just yes!yes!yes!! i can’t even comment about a particular part because all of it i love so much. its another part that leaves me slightly speechless.

but my favorite part of it might be how it ends hehe

these next couple parts were a bit diffucult to write because obviously the air between crown and chanhee is not very light right now so it was just hard to navigate their dynamic at these moments until they apologize but hopefully it turned out alright

i really like this line: “But this moment—with the scent of Harlan’s wine under his nose and the chill of Harlan’s blade against his neck—this moment feels nothing like those. It feels empty.” 

“ Chanhee just stares at you.“ -- staring as a love language exhibit b 

this whole part... chills bro 

“Chanhee exhales because for the first time since this afternoon he looks at your face and sees you.” -- exhibit c ....

okay wait another one of my favorite parts here: the spilled glass metaphor!! again please reference lina’s rb on this because everything said there... could not have said better myself. inspired by this writing advice by ocean vuong and yeah i just think the metaphor speaks for itself, one of my favorite lines (well paragraph) from the entire piece, actually from ALL of my works 

it was so hard to think up all of yumi’s different names, i was struggling

them talking about how farah will be happy to see chanhee...... how do i break it to you crown.....she’s dead...... awkward

red streak q! yesss. also i’m so sorry for killing off farah 

also kyunyu bestiessss

tbh this whole paragraph: “I get this overwhelming burst of honesty. As if what you both speak of is more than just a simple truth, as if it’s a commandant you blindly follow. What’s even odder is that I only feel that burst when you speak of each other.” Q stops walking and turns so that he faces Chanhee directly. “You speak of Crown constantly. And last night, when I met Crown, your title never left from the tip of their tongue. Humans are so simple really. We mention what we love.” Q pauses for a moment, bringing a hand under his chin. “Do you love Crown?” --i wrote it for myself no regrets

oh wait this bit too : “Quietly, Chanhee says, “I know.” / “Have you been watching?” / “I’ve been waiting.” / “For what?” / He meets your eyes. “For you.”” -- sometimes i do things that live rent free in my own mind

okay im so sorry for just quoting myself but this too : “ He sits back slightly. Shocked. Not by his love for you, but rather by how easily love walked into his heart and settled between his lungs “

lol the part where they try fooling q... why are crown and chanhee like this

the running !!!

yeah also every part after that... tears okay

yumi’s magic !!! its so cool to me, i love it so much 

i surprisingly don’t have much to say about the end... i mean i like it, but i just don’t have any comments. the last line tho... good one shawna

okay im done for you sake i hope no one read this lmao 

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[one-and-a-half-yikes]

Inky Mystery but it’s cyberpunk :/

Putting my thoughts here so I can come back and add to it later if my muse ever wakes the fuck up but-

Inky Mystery but it's Cyberpunk

I know it sounds awesome but calm your tits cause I have no idea if I will ever even write this since this would end up being such a massive story and I really don't have the attention span for something like that but anyways, here are some character design ideas (I do plan to draw some of these I guess):

Cupbros: wear helmets on their heads to hide their identity. Only a small select few know what they look like (you know who they are). The reason for them doing this is because they know that they are vulnerable and would most likely not be taken seriously if people realized they were just a couple of cups who could be broken or smashed. Them not having a face to their name makes them seem more intimidating. There's also the fact of trauma; after living with Hat for so long and Cuphead experiencing the brunt of his experiments, with one nearly killing him, the two decided to hide their race as a means of protecting themselves in fear that others would do the same if they found out what they were. Much like how in Inky Mystery not much is known about the Dish race and thus the cupbros fear that if people found out about them they would attempt to use or hurt them in some way. There's a lot more I could say but I'll touch on it later. For now, let's try to get to the others.

The BBros: both are still homeless. I haven't exactly come up with a way in which Bendy would hide his demonic powers but I'll think of something later I guess. But yeah, demons are still discriminated against by pretty much everyone (I'll touch on later). They still spend a lot of time working on cyberpunk cars and things like that at Pete's shop. Haven't decided what they would wear or anything like that. There would be a possible change in gear and clothing considering the setting.

Holly: so I have one for her because of course I do, why wouldn't I. Much like in Inky Mystery, Holly is obsessed with runes, however, society is a bit more advanced than it is in the original story. Magic itself is seen as inferior to that of technology, as many people see it to be unruly and unpredictable. Holly believes that it is possible to combine the two together to create a society on an advanced scale never seen before. It might even rival Miccoans' cities. All of this means that after Nightmare Night, things are a little bit more difficult as Holly's influence by the cog destroys the city and causes many people to be a bit more discriminatory towards magic users. It also means that many people would start to doubt the validity of the Questers and this "cure" of theirs. Something that didn't really happen after the events of Nightmare Night, it seems as though everyone just...got over it?

Felix: still an archaeologist. I'm not really sure what else to put here. Um, his bag would pull out a bunch of cyberpunk stuff as well as other things too most likely. 

Last thing, because I forgot to mention this but: The cupbros still have their magic bullets, but don’t use them often so much as they do weapons. I will probably reconsider this point later but I just woke up and it’s like, 11 something right now so idk I’ll add more later by I guess reblogging since that’s far easier than the other option.

I’ll add more to this when I do more research on how to write cyberpunk since this is a new genre for me and I’m kind of fucking excited to draw some concept art for this! 

[kyberphilosopher]

Important Information

Rules:

I am a minor. As such, smut can not be requested and can not be written. As a compromise, smutty themes can be used as overtones or undertones, often vaguely or simply eluded to. But pure smut? Not for a few months, which is when I’ll be 18. Sorry horndogs. 

Please request through the submission inbox, or my direct messages. Further more, be polite. Be clear. If I ask a question to clear something up, answer it. Don’t let it dangle. I will always ask if there’s anything else you so desire (a word count, any details) so please tell me if there’s nothing else or if there is. English is also not my first language. 

Do not request something against canon. I have written like that before and did not enjoy that. This means if something is considered canon, say Star Wars, such as a line of dialogue or something shown on screen, I would refuse to write you into it. I feel that it distorts the fiction so much you wouldn’t really be in it, and the characters wouldn’t be themselves anymore. Allow me to write you into the world as a side character, as something not shown directly but something that could fit into canon. 

Some fictional characters have different versions of them. For example, Movie Anakin Skywalker, and the Clone Wars Anakin Skywalker. Ben Affleck Batman, or Christian Bale Batman? Or even, Comic Accurate Batman? Specify for me. If not specified after asking for it, I will write the character with headcanon information pulled from multiple ‘canon’ sources. This will be referred to as ‘headcanoned canon’.

Reblog my stuff? Absolutely. I see all my reblogs. But take it an post it to a different site? No. Don’t do that. Maybe I’ll spread over to Ao3 one day, but for now, please don’t. 

Last one I can think of for now. But luckily this can be updated over time. I don’t write drabbles. I know! But just imagine all the times you’ve read a fic so good, only for it to end so soon. I like the thought of writing something both high quality and high quantity, which means I won’t be satisfied with anything under 2,000 words. Unfortunately, this may sometimes come at the expense of time. Especially if what you requested doesn’t fit into my current hyperfixation. 

List of Characters I’ve Written, or Am Open to Writing:

Aayla Secura, Star Wars (Clone Wars)

Ahsoka Tano, Star Wars (Clone Wars and Live Action)

Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars (Clone Wars and Live Action)

Asaaj Ventress, Star Wars (Clone Wars and Books)

Boba Fett, Star Wars (Live Action Original Movies and The Mandalorian)

Bodhi Rook, Star Wars (Rogue One)

Bo-Katan Kryze, Star Wars (Clone Wars and The Mandalorian)

Cal Kestis, Star Wars (Jedi: Fallen Order, Beginning and End of Game)

Cassian Andor, Star Wars (Rogue One)

Darth Maul, Star Wars (Clone Wars)

Din Djarin, Star Wars (The Mandalorian)

Finn, Star Wars (Live Action Sequel Trilogy)

Jyn Erso, Star Wars (Rogue One)

Leia Skywalker, Star Wars (Live Action Original Movies)

Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi, Star Wars (Clone Wars and Live Action)

Padme Amidala, Star Wars (Clone Wars and Live Action)

Poe Dameron, Star Wars (Live Action Sequel Trilogy)

Rey, Star Wars (Live Action Sequel Trilogy)

Rex, Star Wars (Clone Wars)

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Batman, DC Comics (All Live Action, All Comic, Arkhamverse, All Animated, Headcanoned Canon)

Bane, DC Comics (Games)

Barry Allen/The Flash, DC Comics (All Live Action, Headcanoned Canon)

Black Canary, DC Comics (Birds of Prey Live Action Movie)

Bruce Wayne, DC Comics (All Live Action, Headcanoned Canon)

Catwoman/Selina Kyle, DC Comics (Headcanoned Canon)

Christopher Smith/Peacemaker, DCEU (All Live Action, Headcanoned Canon)

Cleo Cazo/Ratcatcher 2, DCEU (Live Action)

Conner Kent/Superboy, DC Comics (Titans, All Animated)

Damian Wayne, DC Comics (Animated and Injustice)

Dick Grayson, DC Comics (Titans, All Comic, Arkhamverse, All Animated, All Versions)

Harley Quinn, DC Comics (All Live Action, All Comic, Arkhamverse, All Animated Versions)

Jason Todd/Red Hood, DC Comics (Headcanoned Canon, Arkhamverse, All Animated, Titans, All Versions)

Katana, DC Comics (2016 Suicide Squad Live Action Movie)

Poison Ivy, DC Comics (Arkhamverse, All Comic, All Animated, Headcanoned Canon)

Tim Drake/Red Robin, DC Comics (Arkhamverse, All Comic, All Animated, Headcanoned Canon)

Raven, DC Comics (Headcanoned Canon, All Animated, All Comics, All Titans)

Robert Dubois/Bloodsport, DC Comics (DCEU Live Action)

Scarecrow/Johnathon Crane, DC Comics(All Live Action, Arkhamverse, Headcanoned Canon)

Starfire/Koriand’r, DC Comics (Titans, All Comics, All Animated, Headcanoned Canon)

Superman/Clark Kent, DC Comics (Cavill’s Live Action, All Animated, All Comics)

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Annie Leonhardt, Shingeki no Kyojin (Marley Resident, Season 1-3, Season 4, Titan Form)

Bertholdt Hoover, Shingeki no Kyojin (Marley Resident, Season 1-3)

Carla Jaeger, Shingeki no Kyojin (Pre Beginning)

Eren Jaeger, Shingeki no Kyojin (Season 1-3, Season 4, Titan Form)

Hanji Zoe, Shingeki no Kyojin (All Seasons and OVA)

Jean Kirchstein, Shingeki no Kyojin (Season 1-3, Season 4)

Levi Ackerman, Shingeki no Kyojin (All Seasons and OVA)

Marco Bodt, Shingeki no Kyojin (Season 1)

Mikasa Ackerman, Shingeki no Kyojin (Season 1-3, Season 4)

Moblit Berner, Shingeki no Kyojin (All Seasons and OVA)

Sasha Braus, Shingeki no Kyojin (Season 1-3, Season 4)

L Lawliet, Death Note (Season 1)

Ryuk, Death Note (Season 1)

Touta Matsuda, Death Note (Season 1)

Raye Penber and Naomi Matsura (Season 1, Pre Beginning, Throuple Headcanon Canoned)

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Connor RK800, Detroit: Become Human (Deviant, Android, Mid and Post Game)

Chloe RT600, Detroit: Become Human (Deviant, Android, Pre, Mid, and Post Game)

Gavin Reed, Detroit: Become Human (Mid and Post Game)

Kara AX400, Detroit: Become Human (Post Game)

Luther TR400, Detroit: Become Human (Pre and Post Game)

Markus RK200, Detroit: Become Human (Pre, Mid, and Post Game)

Nines RK900, Detroit: Become Human (Post Game)

North WR400, Detroit: Become Human (Pre, Mid, and Post Game)

Other Worlds and Fandoms Coming Soon. 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

What You Can Expect From Me:

Fanfiction

Headcanons- While I’d consider all of my fanfiction headcanons, I’m referring to those little bullet point things you’ll see writers do. Here’s my deal on that. I won’t do romantic headcanons for the characters listed above. By that I mean you won’t see anything titled, “How Poe Dameron Would Cuddle”, or anything of that sort. But you probably will see just my own little headcanons for fun. Like, little fun facts. You know, “Superman’s favorite food is ____”, “Nines hates rats”.

However, I will write romantic headcanons for my OC’s. But that’s for later.

Further regarding fanfiction, I typically write angst. Not sure why, it’s just what I started with because I thought the plots were strongest and I wanted to see where I could take it. Like I said, no smut, but you’ll find allusions to it. Fluff? Yeah, it’s there. Hard for me to write fluff without a plot, but it does exist on my page. 

Original Stories

Most people ignore this, but if you see that I’ve posted it won’t always be something regarding your favorite character. I write my own little stories that’s basically just glorified, book length headcanons for a few worlds, but mostly the Star Wars galaxy. Don’t worry, there’s no need to pay attention to it if you don’t want. It’s something I do in my spare time besides x readers and oneshots. 

Spontaneous Posting

What I mean by this, is that unlike a lot of writers, I don’t work on a schedule. There’s no “once a week posting”, or anything like that. What I finish and give the okay to, is posted. If you’ve requested something, I’ll let you know that it’s about to go out. So sometimes a burst of fics may be pumped out in a week, or none will for up to a month.

Going by EST, I typically am most active at night and early morning. Especially in the summer. During fall this may change.

I rarely put out a post that is unrelated to my writings. If it is related to my personal life instead, it will be posted, but not saved. Documented and available, but never pinned or anything. 

FAQ:

Do you write queer pairings?

Yes. My earlier works usually elude to a female reader and it’s blaringly obvious, though it’s shifting into androgyny for ease of reader. I would prefer to have an androgynous reader instead of a set in stone male or female one. 

Am I reading a queer fanfic written by a straight person?

You are not. I am androgynous myself in terms of gender and unlabeled in terms of sexuality. 

Do you write for poc?

This question shocks me, though I’ve gotten it twice. Then I realized- it’s because so many writers forget the point of a reader. The reader may be described as blonde, or white, or thin, or female. You will not find that here. There will be no set in stone appearance for the reader except for mentions of whatever hair you may possess (apologies to those without hair). There will be no talk of ‘light skin’, or ‘curvy figure’. The farthest I’ll go is describing you as pale, if say, you were sick. Because any race or skin tone can go pale, you know? The only thing I’d do- rarely- is give you a real age. But only to further the plot if needed.

 My point is, ‘Y/N’ is not just a pretty white person with long hair. It’s inclusive to anyone. I’ll stand by that. 

Do you write headcanons?

Answered in the above section. Long story short, I’m working on it, but on my terms. 

Do you write song fics?

I haven’t before. Why? They make me cringe. I don’t know why. I’ll write a fic based on a song, or with undertones of a song. But those little paragraphs with the lyrics that aren’t even in time with what you’re reading if you were to read and listen at the same time? I don’t think so. 

Do you know what sex is?

I do. 

Will you have e-sex with me in the direct message chatbox?

I will not. 

Why do you write on tumblr?

I started writing just to share an old word document with over 300 pages worth of an Original Star Wars story. I tried my hand at fanfiction because, while I don’t read it often myself, I know a lot of people do. It helps them escape reality. And, I’m a pretty good writer, I think. At least I can only get better. I’m just one more person trying to put something out for people to enjoy, and maybe even rely on. 

Will you ever write for real people?

If I ever wrote a fanfiction about Christian Bale or like Barack Obama I think I would just disappear. I can’t do it. It’s like warping my own reality. 

How often do you post?

I don’t know. 

Do you have a taglist?

I did! But only for Star Wars. If you want to be tagged in something, let me know. But you have to be specific. Just for a certain character? For a certain fandom? A certain plot? Just og stories? Be clear. 

Dynamics I Enjoy Writing:

Man simps for person who almost wants nothing to do with them. 

Hero simps for villain or villain simps for hero despite the obvious consequences.

Two jokesters destroy some area while left alone together. May get along better than they would admit. 

Two people who are not expected to get along, get along well. 

Hero and villain are best friends but won’t admit it.

Basically if I’m left to my own mind most of my fics will fall under one of these dynamics. Not always- definitely not always. But I kinda like them. 

Numbers:

800-273-8255 USA National Suicide Hotline

1 (300) 22 4636 Australia Suicide and Anxiety Line

1 (833) 456 4566  Canada Suicide Hotline

800-810-1117 China Suicide Hotline

0145394000 France Suicide Hotline

08001810771 Germany Suicide Hotline

8888817666  India Suicide Hotline

810352869090 Japan Suicide Hotline

0078202577577 Russia Suicide Hotline

08457909090 UK Suicide Hotline

4408457909090 Ireland Emergency Hotline

1-800-656-4673 US National Sexual Assault Hotline

741-741 National Panic Hotline (for people who prefer to text)

Anything else? 

Nope. Can’t think of anything. We’ll see if anything changes. Thanks for checking it out. 

Header Credits to: @moonknights​

[kit-cat-sims]

Sammy Fritz’s Bachelor Challenge!   So, I finally worked up the nerve to make a Bachelor Challenge, after watching loads of other (much better) simmers completing this challenge.  So, without further ado, here’s Sam!

Sam Fritz has always been a bit of a player.  Even in high school, he always had at least two girls on his arms.  After his acting career took off it only got worse.  The endless crowds of girls waiting to meet him went straight to his head.  He started partying, sleeping around, all the classic Bad Rich Boy shit.  But, his management company, and his closest friends (his only REAL friends, tbh) decided enough was enough.  They couldn’t let their star ruin himself or their company.  So, they told him to shape it up.  He spent time in rehab, and took a break from acting.  After a couple months of contemplation, he realized how shitty of a person he was.  He is now sober, and has returned to his acting glory.  

Facts:

He’s been mostly sober for 4 years now, but he still enjoys a nice drink. (He’s currently 29.)

Has never had a real girlfriend, as in long term commitment, but he wants to try.

Not really ready for kids right now, but who knows.  Maybe later.

Used to be the kind of guy who would totally be down for first-date-sex, but now he wants to at least know her name and care about her before taking the plunge.

Not on speaking terms with his parents.  (They never wanted him to become an actor, and he never wanted to make amends.)

Currently lives in Del Sol Valley (ofc, he’s an actor!!), and loves it.

Has received criticism for his septum piercing.  (Of all the shit he’s done, you’re gonna criticize him for a PIERCING?!)

Was banned from a bar in DSV for being too obnoxiously drunk.  (That was in his wild phase.  Don’t worry, he’s better now.)

Submission Info under the cut!!

Submission Guidelines:

Sam is straight, so women only.  :(

Young Adults only.  

I will be accepting all submissions, unless I get more than 9, in which case, I will select 9.  (I’m aiming for 7-9!)

ONE submission per person, please.  (Unless I can’t get enough sims.)

Please give your sim 1-3 everyday outfits, one formal outfit, and one party outfit.  I can fill in the rest, if needed.

EDIT: I am Maxis Match.  So, NO alpha hair, NO alpha clothes.  Use your best judgement as to what is “too alpha”, bc I am kinda maxis mix too, so I will accept some slightly more realistic stuff.

When submitting a sim, PLEASE write as much of a background as you can.  Even just some quick bullet points about their personality will help me a lot.  

PLEASE REBLOG!!  I don’t think with my current followage (mostly inactive, rip) I’ll get enough submissions, so spreading the word is appreciated.

I also have 1 slot available for a “surprise” sim, so dm me if you wanna be involved in that!

More info on the rules of the actual challenge (as I intend to play) will come when I have all the sims!

Submissions will remain open until April 1st.  If I do not receive sufficient submissions by then, I will extend the deadline and/or allow more than one submission per person.

If I don’t reblog your submission within 24 hours, please send me an ask/dm!  I want to see all your pretty ladies.

Tagging @ts4-challengenet because I want to.

[deepend-swimmer]

Empty walls can't hear you scream, can't see you languish

Summary: Robin has absolutely no idea why Steve Harrington became her best friend, but he really is the only one worth the title. Steve doesn't think anyone else could carry the struggle that is being his best friend, but Robin does an amazing job at it. After the summer of 1985, they share everything, or at least she thinks they do, and tonight might show her that it really doesn't roll that way.

Warnings: anxiety and eating disorders, self esteem, self worth and self image issues, bad way of coping with trauma

Word count: 2.8k

a/n: I'm going to put the ao3 link as a reblog so it doesn't bug the tags! Also don't worry guys, it's more about Robin and Steve's friendship than anything else

***

The high trees' crest danced feverishly with the strong October wind of Hawkins. Loch Nora's wide and illuminated roads screamed in silence in the dead of the night. 

It had become a routine for Steve and Robin to have sleepovers. The shift on the Family Video would be barely over and Robin would already be on the Beemer's passenger seat, drumming the rhythm to her mixtapes that had made home on Steve's radio. They would split their nights over their places, none of them really wanting to admit the real reason behind spending so many nights over. The lurking nightmares of underfloor basements, monstrous needles and a reverberating thick accent. Just like Steve doesn't like to admit Robin was completely the friend he had begged for deep inside his entire life, he also wouldn't confess to shaky hands, terrible retaken habits and profound longing.

The thick incompatible haze of sleepiness and insomnia wrapped Steve's bedroom in a stupor. Maybe it was the way his ceiling appeared to be spinning in intricate patterns or how heavy his eyelids felt or the now so constant discomfort on his insides. Maybe it was just the never ending rumbling of his mind battling itself. There were many possible reasons why he opened his big mouth without thinking about it before, why he let that torturous question slip up like an effortless sigh.

"Robin, do you think there is something wrong with me?"

If he hadn't said her name on the beginning of the sentence, Robin would have thought she wasn't supposed to have heard it, his voice barely above a whisper. Steve wondered if she had heard him at all, but the response was almost instant, the mocking tone laid below every syllable. 

"You'd have to be more specific than that because there a bunch of messed up stuff about you."

Robin thought for a moment that Steve had dropped the subject, the silence growing uncomfortably from their shared pillow. 

He answered so quietly that she wondered if he wished she would hear him at all.

"I don't know, it's just that sometimes I feel like no one can love me."

He could feel the pillow shifting below her head and her grey eyes now piercing his face. 

"What do you mean, dingus?"

Maybe if it wasn't so late. Maybe if he hadn't bottled this up so much. Yeah, maybe he wouldn't be telling Robin these stuff if he had a tiny little bit of self control.

"I don't know, it's just that no one sticks around, you know?" 

His hands meet just above his chest, tracing his fingers with a feather touch as he voices out deeply buried thoughts. 

"I mean, parents are supposed to love and care for you so much that they would take a thousand bullets for you, but I can't remember one time I wasn't alone on this huge house."

He can feel Robin pulling herself up the other side of the bed, no longer looking at him from their usual opposite position, heads meeting in the middle of the bed. She sits up, legs crossed, and Steve avoids her gaze by staring at his hoodie strings as though they are the most interesting thing in the world.

"But that's because they are working, isn't it? They are trying to provide to you." 

Robin was never good at this kind of conversation. Deciphering russian messages was one thing, but emotional talk was never her specialty. Steve had always been the sensitive one. 

"But it can't be just work. We've always had money Robin, I don't get why they would need to work so much." 

Steve knows that old money doesn't really mean anything if you don't work to maintain it, don't get him wrong he is not trying to be ungrateful, but something had always been out of place about that. 

He continued twisting the hoodie's strings around his fingers as he kept on, Robin's heart aching as she hears his answer.

"They think I haven't connected it, but they 'work' every Christmas time. Maybe they think I'm not smart enough to piece together their absence during holidays and the souvenirs from new places that appear some weeks later when they get back... Sometimes it feels like they don't see enough of a reason to try and stay."

Steve doesn't tell her about the things his father says, not only because those are bits that if you let out there is no taking back, but also he is pretty sure that if he voices a single one of them the night will be taken by trying to dry his tears.

Robin works the best with what she has, trying her hardest to make sense out of it, to find a way to stop making it hurt. She doesn't realise how insensitive she could have been till too late, after it had already left her mouth. 

"I don't know, Steve, maybe you are just overthinking it? I'm sure that they care about you."

It was never her intention to let Steve silently wallow in the hurt from opening up, but she had absolutely no idea on what to answer him, on how to comfort him. Robins knows that might be visible as she says it and a big part of her screamed at herself to shut up, to find the sensitivity inside and realise how she might be dismissing his pain. 

Still, Steve found himself caught in a dead end. Maybe they do care about him, maybe they really don't and there is no way for him to know it. There is no way to prove his point further because when it came to them Steve wasn't even dignified of an answer. For a lot of people Steve wasn't worthy of a heads up. For some people, the ones that mattered, Steve wasn't even worthy of an explanation, so it's no surprise he brings her up.

"Okay, what about Nancy then?" 

Once Robin had been informed of the basic business that went on with them, she had taken quite a distaste for the "Prissy". It isn't a big surprise her next question is filled with disdain, one that for a miracle someone wasn't directing to Steve. 

"What about her, Steve?"

For maybe the first time that night, he moves from his position, finding comfort in taking the pillow they had been using before to his chest as he leaned into the bedhead. Robin takes a worried notice of it before he continues on.

"She doesn't even acknowledge me anymore and I go by her house every single day. I mean, we spent the best and most terrifying year of my life together, Robin…" 

Nothing could have ever given away how hurt he still was by Nancy. That's the thing about Steve, there isn't really a way of finding out what's really going on in his head unless you nag it out of him and even if Robin had been his best friend for months, that isn't something she quite learned yet. 

Steve doesn't really know why tonight was the one he decided to let it all out freely, but that doesn't hold him from proceeding, voice breaking all over.

"She said she loved me, she made me believe it and it was all empty words. I don't know... I- I am a better person now because of her, but I don't know, it feels like now that I'm not pretending anymore, no actually likes me for who I am. And I thought that maybe if I was a little bit more like I used to be, someone would like me." 

The first tears come after he voices out his most buried belief. 

"I guess I'm just too pathetic to be liked."

The highly deprecating tone in his voice gave Robin goosebumps all over, worse than the ones she had locked into the basement of her nightmares. She only realises she said it out loud after it's over.

"You are being too harsh on yourself."

Perhaps he is, would not be the first time or the first person to do so. And perhaps because he knows she is right, that he is in fact being way too harsh to himself, his defenses build up and it's old Steve all over again. Lashing out at the ones who care because after all he can deal with neglect and scorn but care it's too much of an unknown, dangerous ground. 

"Am I really? This whole summer, I've been trying to get one person to like me, only one and no one from the entire county of Hawkins wants me." He huffs at the absurdity of it, the mockery of his fallen reign crushing what was left of him. "I just kept wondering what was wrong with me or if maybe I should restore the greatness of King Steve."

He does let a wet laugh out by that, yet it feels anything but funny. It makes the room heavier, almost as if that laugh had taken a big huff of air with it, leaving the bedroom more and more suffocating. Suffocating the words out of him, a desperate attempt to exchange his murderous thoughts for air. Steve is just so eager to get one proper breath he lets his greatest secret slip like fucking small talk.

"I don't know what was so great about him, if it was the hair or the clothes, or maybe I just looked better, leaner, taller- I don't know. I spent days wondering what could make me go back to that. And I tried, Robin, I really did. Every single thing that crosses your mind I tried." 

Steve knows that there is no point in hiding anymore, knows that now that is out it will viciously taunt him and easily bring him to his knees like it's been doing for the past months. He tightens his arms around the comforting softness of the pillow, hands very focused in his ridiculous wounds and voice dripping in poisonous self imagery.

"Maybe I should be trying harder."

He shuts up after that, breathes in the air he fought so hard for, wallows into his echoing secret.

Robin watches Steve play with the scabs near his knuckles and thinks. Connect the points. And maybe she should have known earlier, she has seen those signs before at school. Maybe it was true after all, that you only see the signs when you are looking for it. For God's sake, she was able to decode a russian spy message, but didn't put up together bathroom breaks and all the excuses for an upset stomach? 

Now, watching Steve shut himself in shame and fight so goddamn hard to not shed tears, she feels bad for mocking his little quirks, like the stupid obsession with that hat and his bloody hair. 

She couldn't have known though. How would she know that the reason behind his profound hatred for company policy was deeper than common sense? That maybe he cared for his hair so much because that was the thing he loved most about himself, maybe even the only thing. 

Steve probably didn't mean but he smashes the remaining of both their hearts as he breaks in the silence and lets it out in the most wavering tone Robin has ever heard.

"I guess... I don't know... Am I that unlovable Robin? Is there something so crippling wrong about me that makes people incapable of loving me?"

Despite the heavy atmosphere, it's still a surprise for both of them when Steve lets out an agonizing howl. He didn't know beforehand that would be the tipping point, that one single opportunity of being heard and paid attention to would be enough to open the faucets. He only knows that this terrible hefty feeling deep down his guts allows him to do only one thing and that's weep his eyes out.

It takes the second hiccup for Robin to get out of whichever trance she was in. It's hard to approach him when he is like this, she knows because she has seen it way too many times before. 

When Steve is too anxious he finds it grounding to press his feet together, a little intricate coreo going over and over again till his trembling ceases. It's safe to assume that his cocooning comes from the weight of oversharing, knees so close to his chest she doesn't see how it could be comfortable. The hands covering his tearful eyes are no news, but they still break her heart, he only does that when it pains too much to acknowledge his existence, trying to hide the exterior in order to hide himself. 

She addresses that first, carefully and delicately pulling the fists away from red eyes.

"Dingus, look at me?" 

Steve only answers by shying away even more and hiding his face into the pillow squished between his legs and his chest.

"Okay then, are you listening, paying attention?" 

The tiny nod is more than enough for a response. Robin breathes in deep and holds his shoulders as she starts saying it.

"I love you, alright? You are the bestest friend I have ever had." 

A very low sob wraps its way past his chest, the pillow, the elephant in the room.

"Those kids? They adore you, dude. Dustin probably has an altar of you somewhere." 

It's easy for his chuckle to turn into a whimper and as it does she wraps her arms around him. Steve just melts into her embrace.

"You are loved, tons of it, you've got believe me." 

He wants to shake his head. He wants to deny, deny, deny, but the truth is that he knows. He knows she is right, Robin always is right and that's what aches so much. Deep down knowing it is true and still somehow losing the fight against his own mind telling him it's bullshit. That it has always been bullshit. That he will never be anything other than bullshit.

"I'm just so tired of not seeing it."

Once again, he doesn't know if she will hear him, past the wavering of his voice and the safety of his pillow. She still somehow manages it, acknowledges it by hugging him tighter. 

He takes his head to her shoulder so she can actually hear him properly this time.

"It's a constant fight in my head, one part keeps remembering me about all of you, but the other is just so goddamn convincing."

He remembers when it first started, freshly new into Hawkins's middle school. Steve didn't know what it was back then, but the anxiety pumped through his veins as easily as blood. He remembers the feeling going away when, after working himself up for so long, he would throw up in the disgusting bathroom stalls. He remembers thinking that he could anticipate that relief if he just threw up earlier, just had to get through the discomfort of forcing it. He remembers thinning away, worrying teachers and counselors, but not his parents, never his parents.

It kept on like that till he found out basketball had the same effect, draining his cells from the jitters as if it was nothing. He built up after that, gained muscle back, got good at basketball, became the best at it, became the king. For some time, he didn't even care if he was loved, because he was desired. It was the easiest thing to ignore the forever lasting longing of his heart when he had the loud cheers, lustful looks, whispered praises and moaned reassurances. He could ignore the little voice telling him he was unlovable when he had a fucking reign. It wasn't so easy when that started crumbling under his first love, foul pictures, crimson pools and false hearted promises. 

Now, he didn't have basketball anymore. No kingdom. Only huge needles, heavy accents, grisly flowery monsters, missing, dying kids.

Steve can't help but flinch once Robin's hands make their way through his hair. He feels even guiltier when her sigh resonates through the room.

"I didn't know you were hurting so much and I'm sorry I didn't realise, I'm sorry I bugged you about it." Steve notices he had never heard her voice tremble before. "I've probably made it worse."

"You didn't…" 

He hopes she sees how much he means it, how much he trusts her, not only right now but since the beginning of summer. 

"I just, I don't even know why I do it, it's just natural at this point."

It's sadly true. It comes almost as a second nature by now, Steve is just too deep into it to be any other way. He sniffles into the back of his hands, he knows Robin finds it disgusting but he couldn't care less right now. Apparently, she doesn't either since she only responds sincerely.

"It shouldn't be, Steve. It doesn't have to be anymore."

He hopes she is right about that too.

[quicksandblock]

I was gonna make an intro post yesterday but I forgot! @mcytwelcomecrew I am late to the party. The remainder of this post will be in bullet point format because loving bullet points is my primary personality trait.

Name: vuatson or any permutation of my url that you like :)

This used to just be a blog for reblogging hermitcraft art but then I watched a single manhunt video, fell into a trance state, and woke up a week later subscribed to half of mcyt

I reblog a lot of art but I also love fic! I have an epic sci-fi AU in my head which will probably never get written lol

I also love talking meta!! Most of my original non-reblog posts are gonna be meta about CCs and the fandom itself.

re: shipping I’m neutral. I’ll appreciate art or fic if it’s good regardless of whether it’s shippy or gen, I don’t either seek out or reject fanworks based on shipping (at least not in this fandom).

Technoblade is my fave by a mile because he is too relatable, far too relatable, ADHD king, I am required to stan. I also love the Dream Team, the rest of SBI, and I watch stuff from several of the people on the Dream SMP. The circle of creators I follow is slowly expanding because of all the collabs everyone does lol

fun fact: I’m pretty sure I’m the oldest person here XD At least I haven’t seen anyone with an age older than mine in their bio (which, by the way, it’s a bad idea to make your exact age publicly available!). How Do You Do Fellow Kids

edit: I forgot to say! I follow/ask from @kingdom-noise and my active main blog is @prosocialbehavior. Don’t bother following kingdom-noise, it’s dead

[sassaetcie]

The Molten Charcoal (Idia x Silver fic) : Chapter 2

Enjoy this second chapter :) Please reblog if you like, or comment, I love to see your comments,,, 

I... went outside my room. The corridors were pretty chilly... I guess I should really go outside, huh. What if I spread the curse here, though? If some ice were to be born here, to be blossoming peacefully, or furiously, no melting would even be bestowed upon them. Only my flames would remain. Only I will remain... somehow. The darkness were soothing, though. They don't burn, after all. I should ask someone to use dark magic to boost my computers, lol. Nevermind. I didn't meet anyone, of course. All of Ignihyde's students aren't giving a shit, anyway. If we were to come across each other, we would both stare at the void and walk as if no one was there. My legs hurt a bit, tho. Less than in PE and after PE and the day after but still... I walked for a few minutes at least. Maybe I was just hungry... I was so stressed I couldn't tell lmao. But the corridors were so quiet and chilly... I'm just annoyed our colors are black (tho it's not really a color) and blue... Can't blue just fucking disappear. Hmm... if blue were to "fucking disappear", Ortho would as well kflgldlnf,. I'm stupid. He even called me some... time ago, I think? I should check the hour from time to time... What if I miss some event???

My "date" with Silver is in 6 days, probably. Why would he call it a date if he doesn't know I'm in love, though... I guess Ortho really saw through me and wasn't joking with my Prince Ideal?! Is he going to shoot Truth Bullet in my face and make me the only victim of this love trial?! Six days, tho... I'll have to see Silver... I've already met him so it won't be as awkward as the first time but... Do I even have the right to love him, anyway? I probably have, but I can't fulfill my lovey dovey dream, LOL. Even if he were to love me... Even if he is a Prince... That's the way I should behave as the future Shroud Family Head. I should wed someone of my "rank". But if I do, how many responsibilities will be pushed upon our shoulders? I can not just marry him, that's right. But he is still a "prince". I won't ever wed a fucking prince. Wouldn't that mean fulfilling my kin's wish? I don't. fucking. want. to. I don't want to be a Shroud. I am just... Idia... I am just Idia... And if the prince's ideal was just something I started to wish after what happened back then? What if I don't really love Silver but just love his aura? That's it, right... Sorry, Ortho, I really can't be in love with Silver, huh. There's no way I truly love. That's just another delusion. I'm just a stupid kid. I'm just a stupid adult. Whatever. This delusion is sweet, huh? That will last some time. And it'll vanish. I can't love a prince since it would be a Shroud's fate. I want to love the Prince Charming since I want to be saved. Couldn't I just love the sweet and caring senpai ideal?! Guess I went the hardcore mode because I'm rich and used to opulence, lol. I still got six days... I guess Ortho will knock my door like hell when the time shall come, anyway. That makes me going outside at least five times to be prepared... Welp, I'll just play some games and read the lessons's content Ortho has sent me. Lol.

[Started Recording at : 11 am : Second??? Day]

[May contain fragments and shattered data]

[The user has deemed preferable to let them be.]

-LET'S FUCKIIIING GOOOOO

-What do you mean, dude? ... trying my best. No... really.... serious!

The room next to Ortho was definitely reflective of Idia's moods. His shouting and screaming and screeching and howling were as reversed as his flame hair. He was not a bother when he let his voice ramble... He was not annoying either.

-I'm... best DPS! Y'all can't outrun my skiiiiiiiiills!

He was just acting so happily. His little brother sat on the bed he had been offered by the school, in the room the school had offered him, in the world he had been offered. The covered by some shades of blue, very likely azure, bed, was probably soft.

-GOOD GAME y'ALLLLL! I'm... play... See y'all!

-Huh? If I want to stay in the... channel? Sure~! What do... wanna talk about, though?

He did not need to go outside to seek happiness. They knew about that. His flames barely had enough sense in existing, and could erase all of the logic they were looking for. This story did not make any sense. Should this story make sense? He was a half, after all. This should make sense. But why?

-Yeah, WyverneCastel? I.... yeah... need... later. If you can, ... course!

The next lesson would soon begin. It was better to stop Recording right now.

[Ended Recording at 11:30 am : Second??? Day]

Tbh, I only had good games so far. No Internet problems (of course, since I usually fix them, NRC is so fucking slow when it comes to administration and solving problems LOL), no Internet problems for my team, no server crash... I kind of like to solve little stuff like that, to be fair... Like, I didn't really use to when I was younger. Well, until a certain incident, of course... Maids and butlers would just bring sweets, cupcakes, forêt noire, macaron, lemon pie, millefeuille, sachertorte, éclair, tropézienne, chou à la crème, mochi, dango, baklava, Turkish delight, praline pie, crepes, waffles... No matter how dark and clean their suits and dresses were, none of them were exactly identical. I guess that's why I could recognize them, especially when I was small... I guess my parents just wanted to show off by telling others their servants could have a slightly customized outfit, or some kind of shit like that. It would probably cost a bit more than regular outfits they could just ordered at the same moment... Just because they had money, the "bit" was staying a "bit". I don't want to see them again... Their blue burning hair, like mine... I fucking hate it. I can't even dye it. I can't dye it. I can't dye it. I can't dye... I can't change them... I can't change... I'm a cursed heir in love with someone who could be a prince but isn't at the same time. This story cannot end in a way or another. This doesn't make any sense, yet it does. Can it just be absolutely absurd? Give me some powers that don't make any sense. I want them. I don't want to be a Shroud. Welp, guess I'll go and check what Ortho did for the lessons. I'll probably go and take a "walk" after (that is, earning outside-resisting exp points to lvl up my skill).

Okay, so the "recordings" go as "The Seventh's history may seem simple at first, but do not forget that History is made by winners. They were the ones to win and if their people are living in, for the most, good conditions, it is yet to be proven that the means were as glorious as the results. If someone says something when speaking of History, try thinking about the opposite. It may end up interesting, although I cannot deny some FACTS exist in History itself, since an enormous sample of people were made to make sure that it was a "fact" and therefore, not a "speculation". Well, these facts could be denied since propaganda exists in our world, alas. But doubting everything will spread discord, and even lying can be used by leaders to prevent peoples from collapsing or killing each other."

Up to this point, I cannot say it's difficult. I mean, it's just almost a Civilization creative game, huh. I guess this is just the introduction or something like that, and that the "hard" part will come right after...

"The Queen of Hearts has made an abnormal lots of rules, for instance. Yet, her peoples did not dethrone her. Does that mean they like her? Well, this could be interpreted as "respect" from our point of view. But from someone else, they could actually fear her and fear the fact she has sent people to death. She held trials to judge them before sentencing them to death or other punishments, that is true. Yet, were that true trials or actually fake trials only meant to look like trials and fair justice? We do not have enough clues about whether she actually listened to mitigating factors or... . To keep going with this idea, ... also was judged when ... came to Wonderland. The trial was ... and yet almost ... ."

I'm not gonna lie, why the hell are there blanks? Ortho is always serious and meticulous. There's no way he can miss a single word. His ears are among the best of the world. I'm pretty sure he can fucking outrun all of Savanaclaw when it comes to earing (well, actually, he probably can outrun ANYONE since he's great). So if there are blanks... there are but a few reasons for that. Either he needs an urgent update, but this has NEVER occurred before since I've spent months to create a perfect calendar to never let him suffer the most insignificant flaw. Thus it can't be that. He could have been beaten up but that wouldn't make any goddamn sense. Who would even try to hurt him when I'm so neutral to anyone? I legit don't give a shit about what's going on in NRC. I'm not even sure I met the new student (if they're that new since I dunno when they have arrived lol)... This left me with two solutions.

Either Ortho was infected by a Virus, but nobody here has my hacking skills so it's very unlikely or... he has started recording more than expected and it's making its components slow down. I guess I won't have any choice but upgrade his memory next time we update him. The thing is... what the fuck is Ortho recording outside of our notes? He's probably doing something for my sake or...?! No, he wouldn't do something that twisted... He wouldn't!!! He wouldn't seek intel on Silver for my sake?! Go back Ortho! GO BAAAACK! You're a pure-hearted shota character, you shouldn't seek to change your condition or you may end in a fucking violent time loop! I don't think he's actually doing this... It would be weird for Ortho to act on this own on shady stuff like this. I guess he is trying to help me in a way... But what the fuck can he be recording... I'll think about it after checking the other days recordings. Maybe there weree already some parasite noises or something like that?

So, I've listened to the whole yesterday recordings, and even the one before yesterday (I just sped up his voice since I just wanted to be sure there were no vocal errors). I am.. pretty sure of it, now. Ortho did not have troubles until yesterday night at least. It seems it has begun during the second part of Trein's class, so it wouldn't be stupid to think that his memory is being more and more filled by "something else". I guess I will just ask him to only pick the key information and understand by himself what the teachers told him... It will take faaaar less room. I'm going to get out now, that's probably night. I hope it will be another chilly travel.

OKAY THIS DIDN'T GO AS PLANNED AT ALL. NOT AT ALL, NOT AT ALL, NOT AT ALL. I thought I'd take a stroll towards in the refectory since no one is supposed to be there at that time but I FUCKING FORGOT THAT NO ONE GIVES A FUCKING SHIT IN THIS FUCKING SCHOOL?! I even thought of taking some food if there were some leftovers so that I could award myself from getting out of my room (cause honestly walking is boring as fuck, I'd rather walk in Skyrim, at least I can hear my leather boots on the ground, lol)... Of course people would have been there. But when I got out of my room, the chilly ascension kept on telling me to move forward.  Everything was covered in darkness, to the point I thought my flames would become that of a raven, finally. I took several steps, no matter what the light piercing my skull did. The gleam may try to bath the corridor of their blue burning halo, there were too much potential icicles ready to kill it. I just wanted the chill atmosphere to let me walk, and somehow it ended up this way. For now, my flames were too weak to even absorb the ice before absorbing their waters. I wish for it to weaken to the point my sparks die. I want to walk on that silver lake too... I don't want to fly above. I don't want to sink beneath. I want... to walk on it. To swim through it.

Basically, by the time I got to the refectory (always fucking heavily decorated, like what the hell, luxurious chandeliers????), I realized I made a mistake. There were at least two potential people going there at least once a week. From the moment I heard their voices, this was too fucking late. Trey and Jamil were arguing, somehow? I didn't even think it was possible for these two to argue... I mean, Trey is the cool glasses trope and Jamil is obviously the tortured-but-actually-cunning-and-not-that-bad one. How could they even argue? Well, not that I knew if it had happened before. Cater could post a lot of stuff on Magicam (and yet that wasn't even shitpost...), lol. But I don't remember seeing stuff on Trey badmouthing Jamil or the other way round... Trey was the kind to avoid troubles at all cost, especially since he was under Riddle's influence... I would behave the same, tho I would never have been vice-dorm-leader lmao (well im already dorm head and it's already a fucking pain in the ass, thanks)... I tried to escape but it was too late... I guess that's what I get for playing with my burning curse. They asked me what was I doing there, though they probably were not surprised of my walking "hours". They seemed so suspicious of myself that it was not an ordinary situation. Usually, they would maybe have greeted me... That's all. They began asking me if I was the one stealing the food. Even if my answer was clear, even shaky, none of them would accept it. I was... after all... fire. Fire and water never meddled. Even if I pushed my body to repeating the same answer under different shapes since I may have had a bad locution... They wouldn't listen to me. At some point, I even told them I would find the criminal later and that I would just record some little things they would say to me before going back to my dorm, but they wouldn't even let me go.

-Well, you see, Shroud, there were supposed to be some yakitori, curry portions and blanquette de veau left. All of them disappeared. Although I think it would be hard for you to eat all of this, your health habit seems bad enough to let you eat nothing for several days then compensate suddenly by a huge chunk of food. Am I wrong?

Jamil wasn't especially agressive toward myself, though I know he probably doesn't like me. Who likes me in this ocean, anyway. They were not fishes like Octacreepnelle, but more of... water elementals, I guess. Or maybe barely humans able to seize water and flowing into rivers. They could merge into this part I couldn't access. Of course I would be forever different and... hated as such. Very likely.

-I am sorry to interrupt you, Mr Viper, but I don't think Shroud is the responsible. I know for sure he has a sweet tooth, and yet, most of the sweets are actually there. Except some of the biggest cakes, everything is more or less there.

I would have rather prefered Trey not to reveal my weakness to the enemy, but he was also trying to protect me in a way. Trey is probably actually more of the hero in disguise trope...! Just kidding. But up to this point, they had so many proofs and yet were clueless and even daring to choose me as the culprit...

-The culprit isn't me, isn't Trey and isn't Jamil...

-Heh?

-How can you be so sure about that, Shroud?

-E-eh... You suddenly rely on me so much... Guess I'm good as long as I can be useful, huh... But you won't let me go if I don't spit the truth so... Basically, all of the sweets, which are tiny and not good for health, are left. Then, we can conclude it's neither of you because you would have picked up ingredients, not food itself, or at least not Trey since he probably values a lot baking and improving.

-T-That's true...

-Then, that could be Jamil... But why would he come again if he already has stolen that much? And from what I know, Jamil prefers to cook because of some dark poison stories, right?

-Y-yes, I cannot deny that...

-Then, it is neither Trey nor Jamil. About myself, I try to stay in my room as much as I can, and I'm pretty sure Ortho only go to the refectory during the authorized hours since he is much more reliable than I am. But why would anyone steal so much food in the first place? If it were for one person, one or two dishes would have been sufficient. Moreover, let's say it again, the sweets were not stolen. So the person who stole... didn't pick up what they wanted by love of good food! They stole it because they needed it.

-Hmm... I wouldn't disagree with you, Shroud but.. I am pretty sure I got a letter from Jamil telling me I had to get here at 10 pm...

-Excuse me, Clover? Aren't you the one who sent the letter?

-And that solves the mystery. There is someone who planned on stealing food, knew that you were the only two going for sure in the refectory during night and set you up.

-Wait, who dares to do such a personnal attack against Scarabia?

-It is very likely that the culprit is... Ruggie Bucchi from Savanaclaw.

-Wait.. that would actually make sense...?!

-Especially since he didn't get a lunch earlier... I guess he planned on pleading for hunger if someone was to catch him during the act. And so he sets us up by delivering letters on different hours, and not by his own hands... Wait this level of intellect is almost that of Azul... Ruggie Bucchie is really cunning and... worthy of praise in a sense.

-Hm, that would definitely make sense since he is always the one to get the leftovers in the refectory before the holidays to help the people of his town. I did not expect you to be that useful, Shroud.

-Heh, you're talking to the one who solved Hinamizawa and Rokkenjima's mysteries on the second parts of each, of course I can do such petty investigation.

-Well... thanks... on the behalf of... Scarabia. I am going.

Jamil just left, but tbh I don't really know why. I guess he wanted some time alone before going back to Kalim. At a certain point of my childhood, I had tried to ask less and less to maids and butlers since they all worked so hard. They probably wanted some freedom too. And... I wanted to learn things for myself, too.

-Oh, Shroud, since you've helped us a lot... And... you've thought of how hard I work on my cakes... I want to make you one as an award. And it must have been hard for you to speak to us. Ask me anything and I'll bring you a cake, my best cake, when you want me to give it to you.

-H-h-h-h-huh? I mm-m-m—mean it's really nice b-b-b-but I...

-That's okay, take your time, I won't scream or shout on you just because you're different from others.

-I... I... thanks... Thanks... But... Shouldn't y-y-y-y-you be paid for that...? I mean, you're a kind of artist, and artists should be p-p-p-paid, r-r-r-ight?

His face certainly moved. But why? Was it on its own, or an order, a semi-order, even? I couldn't tell whether his mouth was smiling or if he was smirking, or the other way around. His limbs were linked like any of the sea-universe kin. So, if he were to makes any action, it should be on purpose... but that would be far too easy and stupid.

-Yeah, sure, but you paid me by solving a big trouble. Of course, depending on what you ask, the fees could overcome the wish I had, and thus you would have to pay a supplement.

I had already asked him about the fees and talked about artist respect. I couldn't possibly go beyond what he would offer me since I, for once, had gathered experience on this one, right...

-Please... Can I have a... I hope it won't sound weird... grey and blue cake? With some hard candies on the top...

-Wow! That's an original idea, I like it! Sure, I'll make it. Blueberries and hmm... I guess some white chocolate, maybe some Turkish Delight if I'm in for it... I'll try to make something unique for you! When should I give it to you?

-I-in... five days, if it's fine with you... I really don't want to bother you, you're already so nice and patient with me...

-That's okay, I'll bring it in five days to the Ignihyde Dorm! But the hard candies and the Turkish Delight may make the cake harder to make... Since you're a Dorm Leader and I don't want Riddle to have troubles with you, could attend at least one PE class? That would make up for it.

-Y-y-y-y-y—yeah, sure.

[stilwaterskeeter]

Rewriting Saints Row the Third

So I was messing around writing about my Boss earlier for @occorner and wound up kind of just rewriting entire pieces of SRTT rather than just making small alterations for the character.....So I went ahead and followed through on that accident and wrote out how I personally think a lot of the hollow writing and poor executions of certain parts of the game could have been better and improved. It ended up being a lot more than I was expecting so I’m putting it under a read more. I split it up into 2 parts: Story Changes and Character Changes. And then both of those are broken into smaller parts for each mission arc (the gangs/STAG/dlc) and each character individually.

Also this is just for fun, if you don’t like it then you don’t like it. There’s no point in reblogging this or replying just because you don’t like it yknow? Don’t waste both your time and mine just because you don’t agree with something I just did for the fun of it.

And if you guys like this uuuhhh shoot me a message/ask, I’d totally be down to chat about this stuff and maybe even make more posts like this for the other games in the future!!!

EDIT: Hi....somebody made me regret my decision to keep Kiki’s death canon...so I changed it...thankfully it didn’t have any huge affect on the core of the rewrite, and in fact only very little affect at all

Plot/Story Specific Changes:

Johnny Gat’s “Death”:

Johnny’s “death” wasn’t real obvs, it was like part of Gangstas in Space, like at the beginning that leads up to them going to space and stuff. But in reality Johnny was just kidnapped, cloned, and saved by the Saints after Act 1, but his kidnapping and everything gave the Boss the idea for Johnny’s “death” in the movie

You find Johnny about halfway through the Morningstar mission arc, but he would be seen in a few Syndicate cutscenes beforehand and a lot of implications that he wasn’t actually dead before that

Morningstar:

Loren actually gets like a better mission line following up to and including his death that isn’t just recycled activities disguised as missions

This also includes like a mini-boss fight with the DeWynter twins, that ultimately leads up to them joining the Saints as double agents

Loren gets a boss battle with The Boss, Shaundi, and Johnny fighting him while Pierce and Oleg keep other enemies out of the way and it ends with Johnny getting to personally deal the killing blow and give Loren a beat down like he gave Shogo in SR2 (although definitely not as intense or dark)

Deckers:

I think the biggest things I’d leave the same is the Deckers mission line, I actually don’t think those need to be changed hardly at all, outside of maybe having one or two more story missions without the compulsory activities

STAG:

I would downplay STAG a lot because they were just a weak Ultor carbon copy and took up way too much of SRTT than it should have

I wouldn’t change too much of the STAG missions but I would wait until later in the game to bring them in. Give STAG one or two missions before Murderbrawl XXXI and do the rest afterward

Miscellaneous:

This goes for like literally all 4 arcs, but replace a lot of the compulsory activities with actual unique missions. I think doing One iteration of each activity first is alright because it goes to be like something as a tutorial for them, but past Once, they shouldn’t be reoccuring

Add in one or two missions about The Saints trying to find where Killbane was hiding by interrogating Luchadores and stuff during the STAG arc and then Threeway happens and you find out Killbane is leaving while you’re fighting STAG

Also take out that last choice as a whole no question about it, The Boss lets Killbane get away and saves Shaundi, Viola, and Burt no matter what

While taking the decision out of Threeway, Johnny would go with Angel to try and stop and kill Killbane while The Boss goes to save Shaundi

Ultimately they don’t get there in time but Gat does get a few shots in, injuring Killbane pretty badly in the leg and probably having temporarily crippled him

DLC:

I think instead of the Trouble with the Clones DLC, instead you would get a DLC involving Killbane after he fled the city where you get to fight him and ultimately kill him yourself

It’d be called something like Winner Takes All or like Hell in a Cell which are two types of wrestling matches for those who don’t know. (Winner Takes All is exactly what it sounds like and Hell in a Cell is a cage match with no Escape Clause which is why I think either would fit for names)

Speaking of, make that DLC a double whammy and include Dex, as a business partner with Killbane that you get to fight as well

Angel is a required homie through most of these missions, he helps keep random enemies off your back so you can personally fight and kill Dex, and in turn, you get another mission similar to Murderbrawl XXXI where Angel gets to personally fight Killbane while you take out random enemies, however you also get to help Angel more directly by tossing him weapons to use against Killbane or to use something like a mounted gun to weaken Killbane when he’s cheating and getting the upperhand against Angel

Character Specific Changes:

Zimos:

His character as a whole is,,,,bad imo, so while I didn’t just totall omit him, he’s more or less just a character that The Boss works with to hurt the Syndicate, he’s not really a Saint, just like an accomplice. He would still become a homie at some point though

As a homie he has idle lines to ask how the twins are and The Boss will ask about the secret past and Zimos just says something like “Don’t ask, don’t tell, my man” or keeps the “That’s on a need to know basis, and you don’t need to know” line from the actual game

Angel:

Because I would take out the decision in Threeway and The Boss would let Killbane go, he holds a bit of a grudge and cannot be called as a homie until you have another quick cutscene and short mission where you talk and spar with Angel to help him get out some of his frustration at letting Killbane go

The Boss promises they’re still going to get Killbane because they’re not going to give up that easily

Maybe have The Boss tell Angel about Dex and relate to him while talking about how Dex was one of their best friends and then betrayed them, they never got their revenge but they haven’t given up just yet

Angel and Johnny friendship too!! You can’t tell me they wouldn’t be pals, they spar and talk shit about Killbane a lot

They also trade stories of past fights they’ve been in

Johnny also gives Angel a hardtime because he’s fuckin filthy and lives in such disarray

When Angel tries to snap back with the “so you hate discomfort” Gat shoots back with how the main Saints safehouse was ruins of an old hotel under an abandoned church in the really poor red light district and how before that it was an abandoned church also in one of the poorest areas of Stilwater. He’d definitely say something like “It’s not that I hate discomfort, it’s that I’ve lived that shit for way too long and got out, and I’m not planning on going back to that crap just because some bitch “shamed” me.” The banter becomes somewhat a weird and very Gat-esque peptalk

Viola & Kiki DeWynter:

They both join the Saints and work with them in secret against the Syndicate when Killbane takes over and Loren is killed

Viola and Kiki obviously both get more character development

Viola actually ends up being good friends with Shaundi

Kiki on the other hand ends up better friends with Johnny and they trade snarky remarks whenever everyone is planning out missions and when the Boss makes dumb decisions and shit

Johnny and Kiki end up bonding over small things like their concerns with their looks and just both being the more outspoken and witty counterparts in duos (Johnny’s other half being The Boss and Kiki’s being Viola)

Kiki and Johnny never fail to annoy the shit out of Shaundi because there’s just no end to the snark

Kiki also ends up liking Kinzie, meaning Kinzie gets TWO sisters, Viola AND Kiki, Kinzie couldn’t be happier

As homies, the twins have idle lines about how weird it is The Boss works for Zimos sometimes and ask to make sure The Boss never drags them along when they go to do jobs with Zimos, but they’ll never say why

Killbane threatens to kill Kiki after learning that the twins have double crossed him and are working with The Saints. He takes her as like a “hostage” and sends Viola to go tell The Saints to come “rescue” her while in reality it’s a trap and he’s using Kiki as the bait.

This adds depth to his character and makes him more than just some idiot meatsack who’s powerhungry. He’s a gangleader, he knows how to lead and how to manipulate and how to fucking plan things out further than “HUR DUR ME PUNCH THINGS AND MAKE THEM BLEED”

Viola, ever the realist, knows the likelihood that Killbane has Matt wired into her phone or The Saints’ crib or something so that he would know if she tried betraying him and told The Saints that it’s a trap. So she of course doesn’t tell them, she goes along with his plan all the while thinking of her own plan on how to get out of this problem.

Kiki on the other hand absolutely lets The Saints know it’s a trap as soon as she feasibly can, it’s not much but it does give them a slight upperhand for a minute in the ensuing fight

It’s like a miniboss battle with Killbane, towards the end when it’s obvious The Boss is gonna win, he picks Kiki up in preparation to snap her neck. But Viola shoots at his hand a few times and causes him to drop her sister, he then runs off and Johnny, Angel, and Shaundi chase after him but Viola and The Boss stick around to check on Viola

Kiki got struck by one of the stray bullets on her face, it definitely leaves a nasty scar and fucks up her left eye pretty badly in the long run

Kiki is for the most part out of commission as a homie after the whole kidnapping nonsense, but Viola is as ready as ever to fuckin’ go to town and kill some fuckers now

It’s her way of handling the guilt of almost losing her sister because they didn’t cover their tracks good enough and then by her own attempt to save Kiki, caused her sister to lose an eye

Johnny had taken Loren’s eyepatch kind of as a trophy after killing him, he very awkwardly gives it to Kiki after the mission claiming she probably needs it more than he does right now and seeing as it was Loren’s, she should probably have it regardless

Oleg:

Oleg actually has some of the most depth out of the new characters so I wouldn’t change much if anything?

He definitely would have a love/hate relationship with Johnny

They just don’t get along and butt heads but also they bond over their hatred of Loren/The Syndicate and having been used for the cloning experiments

Johnny also would think Oleg is like badass and cool as fuck and he’d make bets about what outrageous things he thinks Oleg can or cannot lift/destroy with his bare hands

Oleg would also have a lot of respect for Johnny for being such an seemingly average human but still having so much strength and being such a force to be reckoned with

Kinzie:

Kinzie is definitely the company’s favorite because she easily has the most content and depth of any of the other new characters and even more than pre-SRTT characters in SR4 so there’s little to no changes to be done

That being said, I really would want Kinzie and Johnny to also have a love/hate type relationship in SRTT that eventually drops the hate

Like Johnny does Not understand half the shit Kinzie says and she’s really pushy and he just hates it at first and Kinzie hates how he doesn’t listen a lot like the whole situation in SR4 where Kinzie’s always talking about how The Boss doesn’t listen to her and stuff? But with Gat,,,who is worse about it let’s be honest

But throughout the game they both start garnering more respect for the other

Like sometimes Gat’s headstrong guns-blazing outlook pays off a lot better than Kinzie was expecting and Gat’s also totally down to do whatever dangerous and reckless and heavy-lifting work she offers which is useful as hell for Kinzie

And sometimes Gat’s “wing it” planning bites him in the ass and Kinzie saves his ass because she planned how to finish the missions when he didn’t listen because he never listens and she wanted to be prepared for anything

Ultimately they have a very Older Brother-Younger Sister type relationship with Gat becoming really protective of Kinzie and totally laughing his ass off and siding with her when she and The Boss have disagreements/get into fights

Shaundi:

Give her back all that character development and exploration of her depression and survivor’s guilt!! why was that cut!! put it back!!

Additional cutscenes and stuff with Johnny and also The Boss sometimes talking about how Johnny going missing and being believed to be dead scared her and how it affected her

This also means we get to see some of Johnny’s soft side and his pisspoor attempts to comfort her

but also Johnny probably also gets on her case about it like Once because “Well I’m not dead so you can stop worryin’ about it, Shaundi” and it starts a whole little fight that The Boss eventually steps in and settles it

Also Shaundi & Viola friendship: I already mentioned it but just...think about it again ok...

It starts as a rivalry and then they start bonding when Kiki and Johnny are getting closer 

They both cannot stand Johnny and Kiki’s snark

And then both of their respective best friends are preoccupied hanging out which leaves them awkwardly hanging out at times

Turns out Viola was actually a fan of Shaundi’s show and at one point considered signing up herself just for the hell of it

Shaundi is completely shocked and they end up doing like impromptu joke-y rounds to get to know each other to pass the time

This includes idle lines when they’re both a homie where they’re laughing while Shaundi asks Viola random questions about herself and stuff and Viola answers

Also completely trash Shaundi’s weird jealousy/hate against Kinzie

Maybe have her as wary and holding a bit of a grudge because Kinzie’s an ex-fed at first, but ultimately they get past it pretty quickly 

Most of their conversations seen and stuff are them talking tech or talking about their relationships with other characters, there’s a few where Kinzie tries digging into Shaundi’s past and Shaundi tries to dig back though

Also definitely maybe talk/show her development between SR2 and SRTT more rather than just suddenly dropping such a dramatic collection of changes and “development” immediately and not really elaborating a lot yknow?

Pierce:

There’s not much I would change because I actually liked his character development a lot, it wasn’t as abrupt and dramatic feeling as Shaundi’s and he had a decent amount of depth so I don’t think there’s much to add aside from what you would expect from his dialogues with Johnny and Kiki

Johnny:

This is just here to be respectful, pretty much 99% of everything I have to say for Johnny has been said in all the other sections

[howardpotts]

A Little Spark - Part 2

The second time

Summary: Thor made you breakfast. You seduce him one more time, making things hot in the shower. ;)

Warnings: s m u t

Wordcount: 3241

A/N: Y E S, i’m so feeling this little fanfiction. I’m not done with this yet ;) Let me know what you think! And thanks for liking/reblogging my stuff! I really appreciate it! <3

Wanna be tagged? Message me!

It’s 8 in the morning when your alarm wakes you up. You hit your alarm a few times before it shuts up. You look at the other side of the bed, but it’s empty.

Of course. Just like you thought; a one night stand.

You drag yourself out of bed, still feeling satisfied with the fact that you finally got laid last night. And you got laid with no other than the fucking God of Thunder. You felt a little bit of an ache down there, but it was a good one, not a painful one. It made you rethink about last night, especially about the little bolts he sent through your body.

You lazily walk to your livingroom to put on the news, but you stop the moment you hear some rumbling in the kitchen.

No way, is he still here?

When you walk in to the kitchen, you see Thor cooking something on your stove. Guess it’s a good thing he feels like he’s home. You cough quietly to grab his attention.

With a smile, Thor turns around. “You’re awake!” He walks to you and gives you a soft kiss on your temple. A little smile appears on your face. “What are you cooking?”, you ask curiously as you walk to the stove.

“I learned this from Tony. Scrambled eggs with bacon is what you Midgardians call it, right?” The smell makes your belly rumble.

You get two plates and some cutlery and put it on the kitchen table. He grabs the pan from the stove and joins you. “I hope you enjoy it.” You grab his hand and squeeze it softly. “I’m pretty sure I will.”

When the first bite reaches your tongue, a small moan leaves your mouth. “Yes, this is just what I needed”, you say with your eyes closed.

When you open them, a smiley Thor stares at you, his cheeks a bit red.

Red? Is he blushing because you just complimented him on his cooking ? “What? Did you doubt yourself?”, you ask. He shakes his head. “I love it when you make that sound.”

This time it’s you who’s blushing, realising the moan you let out. Your gaze goes to the food in front of you, not really daring to look the God in the eye again. “I guess you give me everything I needed”, you say. First the D, now this delicious meal.

“It’s my goal to give you everything you desire”, he says and grabs your hand again. You now have the courage to look at him again. “Well… Then… I have a list”, you joke. A low husky laugh leaves his mouth. Shit, his laugh is sexy.

You eat in silence for a few seconds, before Thor speaks up again. “If you don’t mind me asking; how did you become a part of the Avengers?”, he asks curiously before taking another bite of his bacon. You knew this question was coming, but you didn’t expect it so soon.

“Well”, you say, “I kind of discovered my powers a year ago. My fosterparents always told me I did weird things when I was a kid, but I never did them when I grew up; as if I had forgotten them.”

You take a sip of your coffee before you continue with the story. Thor has his full attention on you. “And last year I discovered my powers again, when a man made me lose my temper. I discovered again that I can control stones. I hurt him pretty bad, which I didn’t regret at that time, but later on I did felt sorry for him. I searched for help and ended up here. Tony did a lot of experiments on me before I was even allowed to practice my skill.”

He nods and swallows his food. “What did the man do to enrage you like that?” His eyes glister, making it unable for you to look away. The God was perfect in any way possible, but you tried not to get consumed by it. This little adventure will be over within an hour.

“He cheated on me”, you say outright and monotone. At the time you might feel enraged and depressed, but you grew and got over the brat. You know it’s not your fault, you’re just really glad you dodged the bullet before taking it to the next level.

Thor shuffles in his seat. “Only a dumb fool would cheat on such beautiful woman.” The words made your heart skip a beat, but you don’t show it. The only thing you give him is a simple smile. “Well, life be like that sometimes”, you shrug. “He’s gone now.”

You take another bite, still enjoying the food as if it’s the first bite. Slowly you feel a little bit of a heat between your legs. Could it be possible to… seduce the God for one more go? Just one more, that’s enough.

You hold back a mischievous smile and moan one more time for the food in your mouth. “Ohh, this food is so good”, you say, the ‘good’ also being half a moan.

Thor looks at you with his bottom lip in his mouth. You’re not sure if it’s working or if he’s holding a laugh for your pathetic performance.

Deliberately you leave a bit of food on the corner of your mouth. You chew the rest of your food. “You- you have a little-“, the God points to his own mouth.

You fake a little ‘o’ before brushing your finger down your bottom lip and taking the food away at the corner. You bring your finger in your mouth just a little further than necessary. You hollow your cheeks and slowly put your finger out of your mouth, releasing your finger with a pop.

Thor is staring at you, but you ignore his gaze. You need him to snap, but you don’t know if you can get a God to snap. But it’s worth a shot, that’s for sure. Your body is heating up slowly, while you think about last night and how you want it again.

You get a sip out of your glass of orange juice before ‘accidentally’ putting it on your fork; causing it to spill all over the table and Thor’s pants. Excellent.

“Oh shi- I’m sorry, let me clean that up”, you say before Thor even gets a change to get up himself. You rush to the kitchen counter, a sly smile on your face when he can’t see you. You get a towel and turn around, the smile gone when you face him again.

You get on the floor next to him and make sure that you’re on your knees. You look up at him with your most innocent eyes. “I’m really sorry.” You put the towel on his pants and gently rub his leg all the way up to his private parts.

You look to the God again, who’s now grinning at you. The left corner of your lips curls up before focussing on the mess you made on the floor. You get the towel of the God and drop it on the floor.

“Leave the mess.” His voice is husky and low. He wasn’t giving advice, but he was rather commanding. “Let’s clean ourselfs up in the shower.”

You leave the towel for what it is and stand up in an instant. You go to the bathroom immediately and turn on the shower for the water to get hot. Thor walks in with his shirt already lost somewhere in the livingroom.

Even though you’ve seen the sight in front of you before, it still makes you stare. He chuckles and walks towards you. He gently helps you out of your clothes, making a pile of it just next to you.

When he rids you of your bra, he stares at your breasts again. He cups them with his hands and kneads them, his eyes never leaving the sight. You let out a little moan and steady yourself by gripping his hip.

His eyes shoot up to yours, but yours are closed. You’re concentrating on the feeling the God is giving you. He lets go of your breasts, making your eyes pop open and a whine coming out of your mouth. You needed his touch.

“We’re solely here for cleaning purposes”, he grins and rids himself from his pants. You shake your head, smiling from his teasing.

When you’re out of your panties, you’re the first to get under the streaming hot water. You close your eyes when you feel the water covering every inch of you, your fingers trailing your own body.

Thor’s enjoying the view; watching you getting relaxed while the water is running down your skin. His cock is twitching, pre-cum around the top it.

You open your eyes and are met with a fully naked Thor. Is it weird that you could come from his sight alone? You hold out your hand and crook your finger, signalling to join you.

He doesn’t hesitate and joins you willingly. Not in the mood to wait any longer, he pushes you against the wall and kisses you passionately. You moan in his mouth, a few water drops slipping in your mouth.

He presses his cock against your folds, letting you know that he can’t wait for what will come. One of his hands are in your hair, the other on your ass.  You scratch his back lightly with your nails, which causes Thor to moan. “What you’re doing to me”, he whispers in your ear. His voice so raw and low, it only turns you on more. It’s so.. manly.

As much as you hated to admit, you’re a sucker for a man taking care of you while heating things up. You’re always saying things like ‘women don’t need men’ and ‘we can do whatever we want’, but at those moments you’re so willing to do whatever he pleases.

He pushes his weight on you a bit more, his cock leaving more pressure on your folds. You throw your head back to the wall while biting your bottom lip. You needed him so bad, you wanted his touch all over your body, his cock slamming in and out of you.

As if he can hear your mind, he leaves your ass and spreads your legs. He takes a bit of a distance between the two of you to make room for his hand to sneak to your folds.

Again, he kisses you hard and with passion, while his hand is teasing you with rubbing your inner thighs. He bites your bottom lip. You moan and buck your hips.

He releases your bottom lip and lowers his head to your neck, leaving sloppy kisses everywhere. “Thor, please”, you whine. You really needed some action and he was delaying you from it.

“I’m doing to you what you did to me, my dove”, he says. He finds the sweet spot in your neck and a moan leaves your mouth. You feel his lips tighten, which means he’s smiling. You wanted to scoff at him to take that grin of his face, but instead another moan leaves your mouth when he’s sucking that same sweet spot.

His hand is now sliding over your folds, still waiting to rub your clit. “Please, I’m sorry, just, do something”, you say. “I’m sorry, I won’t-“ You get cut off by him slipping in and reaching your clit. His finger making fast 8’s.

Your legs weaken, so you grab a hold of his shoulder. His head jumps up and he looks at you. He presses his forehead to you, but continues to star in your eyes. You stare back, his lustful eyes making you more weak than you already were.

He pushes a finger in to you, soon a second joins. “You feel amazing around my fingers”, he pants while quickly pumping them in and out of you. You respond with a small cry of enjoyment.

A third finger pushes in as well, stretching your walls up a bit. “Jesus”, you pant as you feel yourself close to the edge. Your hands are still holding on to his shoulders to make sure you ‘re not falling.

“That’s a different guy”, he says. A smile appears on your face, but disappears just seconds after when the knot in your stomach explodes. A series full of moans, groans, pants leave your mouth. Thor catches them all with his lips close to yours.

Your legs shake and you have trouble holding yourself up, but somehow manage to stay where you are. Thor’s fingers go in and out for another few times, but leave when your orgasm is done.

He wanted to clean them in the shower, but you grab them quickly. One by one you put them in your mouth to clean them yourself. Thors mouth is open, taking it all in.

After you’ve licked them clean, you drag your hand from his chest to his abs, stopping by his cock. You wanted to grab it, but he stops you.

He set both of his hands under your ass. “Jump”, he says and you obey. You know what’s about to come so a smile is set on your face. You can’t wait to feel his cock inside you.

“So this was your little plan”, he growls while looking at his cock, which is pressed against your folds again. You nod innocently. “And it worked”, you say proudly.

He growls something along the lines of ‘of course’, but you weren’t sure. He stares at your body for a few seconds, before slowly pressing his cock in you. You throw your head back while you feel him fill you up.

Again, you’re surprised how big he is. He keeps going deeper and deeper and you wonder if it’s ever going to stop. He groans and bottoms himself out in one push, which makes you moan. He looks up at you to see if you’re in pain, but that’s not what you’re feeling. You’re feeling full, happy, excited and so turned on.

He starts to push slowly, your walls getting used to the size of him. He leans forward and pushes himself in to the crook of your neck. When he finds a comfortable position, he starts the real work. Pushing in and out of you as if the world depends on it.

“Fuck, yes, oh- yes!”, you moan. He growls at your reaction, pumping in and out even faster.

After a few more pushes, he gets himself out and lets you down. You look at him as innocent as you can. “Odin help me”, he says when he looks in your eyes.

He firmly grips your hips and twists you around. Your face is now facing the bathroom wall. You stand on your toes and stick out your ass a bit so he can access your pussy more easily.

He gives you a small slap on your cheeks, a small ‘hm’ is coming out of your mouth. You feel him enter again, bottoming out in one push this time.

Your hands are supporting on you on the wall so you don’t get pushed flat on it. Thor begins thrusting again and you can feel your arms getting weaker, not able to handle your and Thor’s weight.

Slowly you get pushed against the wall, the cold stone touching your nipples. Another moan leaves your mouth. “Fuck yes”, you hiss. 

His hands were on your hips the entire time, but left to grab your hands and put them above you. His grip was firm. His hips buck in to you even harder. “Shit, feels so good”, you manage to get out.

Your fingers scratch the bathroom wall, searching for something to get a grip on. You feel another knot starting to grow in your stomach.

“You look so beautiful. So good under me”, Thor pants. He lets go of your hands and grabs your shoulders. Whenever he bucks his hips to you, he pushes your body down on his cock as well. A load moan echoes through the bathroom. Maybe today was the day that he was going to really fuck your brains out.

“I- I’m c-coming, my- my king”, you manage. Somehow you knew he was going to like it so you went for it, and god did he like it. He gritted his teeth, a loud groan leaving his mouth before speaking up.

“I want to feel you come, fuck-“, he says as he tries to keep up the pace, heavy pants coming out of his mouth. His hands leaving your shoulders, going back to your hips.

Your legs shake and you come again. Your body is hot, but the bathroomwall is cool against your skin. You shudder at every little touch you feel.

Thor’s thrusts get sloppy real fast and than he releases in you. He grabs your hips tightly, his head is now in your neck, head resting on the wall that you’ve been pushed to a few minutes ago. You can feel how he’s releasing in you, so you hold as still as possible.

When he’s over his orgasm, he gets himself out and turns you around again. He presses his lips on yours for a few seconds, before leaving them again. His eyes are still closed when he presses his forehead to yours. You’re both trying to calm down, your hearts racing in your chest. You also have your eyes closed, enjoying his company and his sweet touches.

He gets his head up again and opens his eyes. You’re both slowly getting down from your high. A sweet smile appears on his face, making you blush. He’s so sweet and adorable, you can’t ignore that. You can’t ignore how he has threated you.

When he steps back in to the streaming water, you’re secretly whining in your head that he’s not touching you anymore. You just want to cuddle up with him. You want to watch a movie with him and for him to absentmindedly massage your hair. You just want him to stay. But you know he won’t. Even if you both wanted him to; he has business on Asgard.

Thor grabs your hand and pulls you in to the water as well. He grabs your bottle of shampoo and puts a bit on his hand. You turn around slowly and turn your back to him.

He grabs massages the shampoo in your hair carefully. It feels so nice and warm. A light smile is on your face and your eyes are closed, taking in every touch he leaves on your head.

When he has rubbed it all in, you take a step back in to the water and let the shampoo stream from your hair, to your body, to the ground. You do the same to him, and give him a little shampoo-massage.

-

When you’re fully dressed and ready for work, you give him one last look. Will this be the last of your adventure? Please, let it not be.

You wouldn’t complain if this would become a weekly, hell a daily, thing. Him coming to your apartment, or maybe you coming to his. Discovering new places, positions and touches. God, you’d love that.

You grab an apple and give another one to Thor. “We’re late”, you say as you watch the clock. You should’ve been in the compound five minutes ago.

______________________________

Tags:

@cuteafricanbunny @sophiatomlinson23

[shreddedparchment]

You’re My Mission Pt.01

She Can’t Take Orders

9/20/2018

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 3,270

Masterpost (Will link later when I have created more posts and have need of it)

A/N: So of course, my browser crashes and I lose my original A/N. In short, I’ve spent some time studying Bucky and reading up on his history in the mcu. Hopefully I can do the character justice and remain loyal to who he is as an established character. As promised way back when I started my Thor x Reader fic, this will be an enemies to lovers fic. I don’t know how long I’ll make it because I don’t know how much story there is to tell. Anywho, I hope you like it and as always if you’d like to reblog it is much appreciated! xoxo

Also, if you would like to be removed from the tag list for this story, please shoot me an ask and I will do so. I will be creating two tag lists, one for The End of the World and one for this one.

Wakanda; a place that never in your life did you imagine yourself visiting. Partially because you were so secluded back home with absolutely no money to travel but also because Wakanda, as far as you knew, was a third world country. And with your limited scope of exposure to said country through media and news outlets, Wakanda seemed to be a country of farmers. Agricultural excellence but not much more. Not exactly a tourist destination.

Once you arrived, however, you found that fact to be very different from reality. A nation of farmers it is not.

Wakanda is amazing! So much culture, astounding technology, and incredible people. It was all so breathtaking when you arrived. And then you met Sergeant Bucky Barnes.

Captain America, or Captain Rogers as you call him, introduced him to you as Bucky Barnes, his best friend. Sergeant to you, since you were to he his cadet in training.

At first Sergeant Barnes had been aloof when he met you. He'd given you a once-over and shook your hand. Then Captain Rogers, Cap for short, told him he’d be in charge of training you and Sergeant Barnes made a dramatic shift into displeased acceptance.

He spoke few words to you and over the next two weeks he spent most of his time training you in weapons. Handguns, assault rifles, sniper rifles, submachine guns, and explosives. The hand to hand stuff would come later, is what he promised.

In your third week, you finally began to shine. You were good with guns. More than good. Though the sniper rifle still had you stumped, everything else was cake. You and Sergeant Barnes had found a, not necessarily comfortable rhythm, but one that worked for the two of you. Still, acclimating to be a soldier when all you'd ever been was a civilian was difficult.

And boy does it irritate Sergeant Barnes. You’re pretty sure he doesn’t like you which is fine as your eyes are set on a specific Captain who happens to be a lot nicer and saved your life. The blue eyes, blonde hair, and insane physique don’t hurt either.

Not that Sergeant Barnes is a troll. He’s muscular too. Hard, like steel. His hair is dark and long which honestly isn’t a look you’re into, but it looks soft. His eyes are a beautiful ice blue, but his pupils seem to be dilated most of the time, so it gives him a dark eyes vibe. His lips are larger than most other men's. Full and pink. But you can’t really tell how handsome he is despite the pleasing individual parts. He’s always scowling.

“Come on, speed it up, before someone else claims the room.” Sergeant Barnes leads you along long winding hallways turning so frequently you’re sure you won't be able to find your way out.

He is eager to get your drills done.

You aren’t sure if it’s because he wants you to train or if he just wants you out of his hair, which as you walk, he pulls up out of his face. He ties it into a half bun, leaving the rest to fall around his neck.

“Does your hair ever get caught in your arm?” You probe, rudely.

“What?” He demands, clearly irked by your question. “When we get there, stand at the center of the room.”

“Why?”

He looks back at you again, like he can’t believe you’re asking.

“Because that's where I want you.”

“Is the simulation difficult?” You wonder. You know that your questions are probably starting to irritate him, but you can’t help it. You’re nervous.

“I can make it difficult. And use your handgun. You won’t he needing your ACR.”

“But I like the ACR.” You protest.

“You’re not going to need it. Just use the handgun.” He says sternly. An order.

And yet, you can’t stop yourself. “Why?”

Sergeant Barnes stops walking and you barely skid to a stop and still bump into him.

He grabs your shoulders and pushes you away from him, glaring at you in annoyance. “Just do as I say, Cadet.”

He reminds you with that one word that you’re a soldier now and you need to follow orders. Unwilling to speak again and upset him even more you nod.

“What was that?” He demands.

“I was acknowledging your order.” You explain, confused.

“Then what do you say?”

You frown. You didn’t know he had such a large ego. “Yes, sir, Sergeant.”

He gives you a long look then leads you down the hall and into the simulation room.

Luckily, it's empty.

You stop right inside the door as Sergeant Barnes moves towards the control console and drops his bag behind it.

Suddenly he snaps his fingers and points at the center of the room without looking up at you.

You jump, remembering his instructions and hurry to the spot indicated. He joins you a few seconds later and lowers himself into a crouch.

You copy him and wait.

The simulation shimmers as it loads, and you and Sergeant Barnes are suddenly plunged into the gritty nightscape of New York.

It's all so real you stare in awe at the passing taxis and the projections of people walking on the sidewalk. One guy even starts arguing with another and a simulated fight begins.

You look all the way around you and find that you and Sergeant Barnes are each crouched behind a large green dumpster, only he’s directly across from you on the opposite side. You wrinkle your nose as the smell of the garbage assaults you. The way the alley asphalt feels beneath your fingers, the smell of the trash, the distant horns, the muffled music, the sound of people shouting and talking, everything about this simulation has been crafted for complete immersion.

“Okay, so we're gonna make our way towards that-Hey. Hey, Cadet! You listening?” Barnes snaps his fingers until you turn away from the city street and look back at him.

“Yes. Sorry.”

“Focus. Alright?” He snaps, frustrated with you but that’s nothing new.

“Yes…sir.” You add as the afterthought. He doesn’t seem to care because he points at you. He then shifts his point down deeper into the dark backstreet and you follow his gesture to a door halfway down the wall on your side. It’s a simple steel door. Nothing special about it.

“We make our way in, I’ll go first, you follow close behind. You draw your weapon and watch my back. Got it? Do not engage unless I tell you to.”

“Yes, sir.”

Behind you a car backfires and you jump. Sergeant Barnes sighs heavily, fed up with you probably. He pushes himself up out of his full crouch and shifts into a half-crouch, shoulders pulled down, head also down but eyes up. His feet move quickly along the black asphalt and he’s so silent. No matter how many times you’ve seen him move like this, it still shocks you. He’s not as big as the Captain but he’s still large. Can men that large move like that?

You follow his lead and try and match his posture and gait. You trip but quickly regain balance and manage to do it without making a lot of noise. This alone is reason for you to be proud of yourself but Sergeant Barnes expects more from you.

He flattens himself against the wall and holds up three fingers on his normal hand and slowly counts down.

He places his metal hand on the handle.

Three…

Two...

One…

With a twist he breaks the handle and pushes the door open. You follow close behind him. He suddenly stops, pressing himself up against the wall just inside the door. You bump into him and he quickly sweeps his arm back in front of you, pushing you flat against the wall as well. He glares at you quickly, presses his metal index finger to his lips, and gestures at the wall beside him. You lean over, embarrassed by your muck up, and see that he’s showing you a doorway.

You look down at his arm, still held out across your chest, holding you flush with the wall. Why does this simple gesture make you nervous?

He looks down at your hands and stands up straight, dropping his arm, his face full of disbelief at what he sees. He sighs heavily again and when he talks his voice is so quiet but dripping with venom. “Where is your gun?”

Gun? Gun! You quickly fumble to unholster the handgun and hold it ready. You check the safety, to make sure it’s off—it is—and hold it pointed down at an angle towards the ground, your fingers not on the trigger but ready to move into position should the need arise, just as he’d taught you.

“You watch my back.” He reiterates, making his voice hard so you know that he means it.

You nod.

His own gun already drawn, he slips into the doorway and quickly fires two bullets. You hear the pop, pop. And then you move into the room after him. You turn to your left first, looking in the corners of the room in case someone might be hiding behind any of the boxes or random furniture in the room. As you are about to go double-check behind a particularly large box shoved into the corner you hear a sudden shift behind you and you quickly turn to look towards the doorway the two of you had just entered through.

A man dressed in black wearing a ski mask rounds the corner and you shoot him. You might be a klutz from time to time but if there’s one thing you have, it’s excellent aim.

Your bullets get him straight in the chest and the projection dissolves. You’re so elated, celebrating silently that you don’t notice the man that springs out from behind the box you’d been about to check. He fires a single shot at you. You feel the electric current shock you in the center of your back where his bullet hit your spine, then he turns his gun on Sergeant Barnes who wheels around, his gun raised, but then slowly stands up straight when two more bullets light up his chest.

He stares at you, his face full of disappointment and irritation.

“What did I say?” He demands, his voice quiet and tight.

“You said to watch your back.” You reply.

“No, before that. When we were preparing for today’s simulation, what did I say?”

You try and remember, and you realize your mistake. “Secure the room and duck for cover in case there are multiple shooters from different directions.”

“Do you not like to listen? Do you get some sort of pleasure from just ignoring everything I tell you?” He’s so frustrated that his voice is beginning to rise in volume. “You just got yourself and your partner killed. God I don’t…What the hell are you even doing here, Y/N?”

You look down at his feet, unable to make eye contact.

“I don’t know why you came here…why am I doing this?” He demands of himself. He reaches up and pulls his hair out of the small hair tie he’d used to keep it out of his face for the drill. He waves his hand over his head and the simulation begins to fall away leaving you and Sergeant Barnes standing in a large white room. “This is so stupid. You’re going to get not only yourself but someone else killed.”

As the real walls are exposed he stares over your shoulder towards the exit. He rips off his right-hand glove, snapping the material. The sound echoes around you, making you jump. You turn to look at whatever it is he’s looking at and spot Cap standing with his arms crossed over his chest. His beard is growing in. It’s just a stubble at the moment but he looks just as large and good as before. You try to hide the pleasure you get from seeing him, but you always fail. Of course, the pleasure you get from seeing your crush lasts only a second because you’re suddenly embarrassed that Cap had to have been watching and he saw your failure.

You turn back around, hands hiding your gun gently at your front, shoulders hunched.

Sergeant Barnes makes you flinch as he walks very close as he passes you. Not intentionally probably. The speed of his walk wafts his scent at you--men's soap and slight smell of peaches?

“I can’t do this anymore, Steve. I don’t want this…this person, to be my responsibility.” The way he says ‘person’ sounds a lot more like he means to say ‘nuissance’.

It makes you frown. You’re trying and all he sees are your mistakes.

“What the hell were you thinking, bringing her here? She can’t do this. She doesn’t listen. She’s easily distracted. She can’t take orders, Steve.”

“It’s only been a few weeks.” Cap reasons. You chance a sideways glance back at them and Cap is watching you. You see him observe your slumped stance. “Give her a chance. She’s trying.”

“Some people are not meant to be soldiers. Stick her in an office and give her something to read. She doesn’t belong in the field.” He’s talking about you as if you aren’t standing right there, hearing everything he’s saying about you.

It really is starting to irk you.

“She deserves a chance, Buck.” Cap says more sternly.

“Then give her to someone else. I’m done.”

“I didn’t take you for a quitter.”

“Well, the difference between you and me Steve has always been my ability to walk away and your inability to give up when you know you’ve lost.”

Their words are so loaded it makes the room feel heavy and uncomfortable to be in. Are you putting a rift between Captain America and his best friend?

You gasp as quietly as you possibly can so that they can’t hear you.

“Buck, you just finished your weapons training with her. Getting her skills up is going to take some time. She wants to fight for the people she lost. Are you going to deny her that?”

Silence.

“Get Natasha to do it. Or Sam.” Sergeant Barnes offers desperately.

“Sam and Nat or on assignment. This isn’t a request Buck. Either you train her or I put you out in the field. You don’t have any excuses anymore.” Cap's voice has shifted into stern authority as he gives Sergeant Barnes his two options.

You hear Sergeant Barnes growl under his breath and when he speaks his voice is directed at you.

“Meet me in the west field tomorrow at 0600, Cadet.”

You turn and nod, making your jaw tight.

Sergeant Barnes stares at you, looking you up and down before his eyes land on the gun in your hands. You’re holding it loosely at your front like you would a purse.

Three weeks ago, that’s exactly what it would have been.

Sergeant Barnes clenches his jaw, his eyes hard with annoyance as he looks away from you to Cap and gives him a blatant look of incredulity.

Without another word Sergeant Barnes walks out of the white room leaving you and Cap alone.

Cap watches him leave before he turns his blue eyed gaze upon you. He also looks down at your hands and slowly approaches you.

Your heart skips a beat as he stops a mere foot away from you then nervous flutters engulf the pit of your stomach as he reaches down towards your hands.

Your excitement is for naught however because he simply takes the gun from your hands and switches the safety on.

“Guns, even fake ones, are dangerous. Never hold one like this again. Okay?” Despite the chastising, his voice is soft and gentle.

You nod your head.

He steps closer and slowly puts the gun back in the holster at your hip.

“I know this has been tough. I know losing your parents like that-" He stops talking because he can see the tears in your eyes. Despite the water, your face is hard.

You’re trying so hard to resist feeling this. You don’t want to be weak. You don’t want to cry anymore. You don’t want to be fragile in front of Captain America. You want to show him that you're strong. You deserve to be here.

“I’ll do better.” You promise.

“Don’t try so hard.” He tells you softly. “Don’t fight your grief, Y/N or you’ll be stuck reliving it. If you want to cry then cry.”

His kind words, the soft tone in which he says them topples any resistance you have. You look down at his wide chest and since he’s already so close, you shut your eyes and lean your forehead against it as your tears spill over.

After a second he reaches up and wraps his left hand around the back of your head while his right rubs your left bicep as he tries to comfort you.

“You’re gonna be okay, Y/N. Just maybe try not to irritate Bucky so much?”

You pull back at his words and look up at his face, confused while he too looks down at your face with a grimace.

Both of you know that irritated Bucky is his natural state when you’re around and there isn’t anything that is going to change that.

Before you can reply, Cap's pocket begins to ring. He drops his hands from around you and he pulls out a simple flip phone. He looks at the number then up at your face.

“I gotta take this. One day at a time, Y/N.” He's already walking away from you. He flips the phone open and presses it to his ear. “Hey Sharon. I can talk. What are you doing?”

He’s smiling as he leaves the room, leaving you in a state of heartbroken disappointment. There's nothing worse than knowing your crush has a girlfriend.

The door suddenly opens again and you half expect it to be Cap but when it isn’t, and Sergeant Barnes walks in, you feel your heart sink.

He slows his walk as he spots you, still standing in the same spot when he'd left.

“You're still in here?” He asks.

You really wanna sass him, so you do. “Duh.”

He frowns at your response. “Is that any way to talk to your commanding officer?”

He moves towards the control center of the room and grabs his black bag from under the desk.

“I don’t know. Am I supposed to respect someone who insults me to other people while I’m in the same room?” You move towards the door, ready to be away from Sergeant Barnes and his bad attitude.

He's also headed towards the door which means the two of you meet beside it. He’s frowning as he reaches it.

He looks at you, really looks at you as you move to push the door open.

“Were you crying?” He suddenly asks. His voice isn’t hard or irritated. Curious a little.

You’re so embarrassed at being caught however that you don’t notice the shift in his tone.

You take your hand off the door and reach up to wipe your cheeks and eyes.

“What do you care?” You grumble.

“Because of me?” He demands, upset. Probably with you for being so weak and childish. If he really thinks you’re crying because he gave you a hard time, he must seriously think you’re a child.

“No, not because of you. Because of my parents.” You push the door open and begin to head out but a metal hand closes around your wrist, keeping you from leaving.

“You said they died, right?” He asks.

You really don’t feel like talking anymore. Especially not about your parents and definitely not to Sergeant Barnes.

“Yeah. Now if you don't mind,” You yank your wrist from his grip. “I’ve had enough of your shitty attitude for one day.”

He lets you go, glaring at your words. “0600, twerp!”

@bionic-buckyb @mdgrdians @ulired @biawol @markusstraya @queenof-wakanda @slice-of-thunder @clockworkherondale @shonaldo @lilulo-12 @dsakita @just-trying-to-survive-marvel @coldfacedwarf @zoey-odinson-stark @animegirlgeeky @paetonsfandom @caramelsunrise @until-theend-oftheline @a-n-gela @dirtylittlelamb @moonlessnight14 @calliope-musings

[awkward-and-fluffy]

Important little post for those who are still following me and wondering where I’ve gone...

I’ve obviously lost interest in Tumblr over these past couple of years. I’m not that active here anymore and a lot has been going on in my life anyhow.

If anyone wants to keep up with me on social media, I’m on Twitter the most! And I’ve actually gotten myself comfortable with doing Twitch streams as of May 2018. It feels like a great accomplishment for me to overcome most of my public speech fears through that!

Aside from getting into streaming, I managed to finish enough of my website for it to be hosted! I put a lot of money into that, but it’ll last about 2 years. :’D

Sooo...

My Twitter: https://twitter.com/WolfKat777

My Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/wolfkat7

My Website: https://wolfkatworks.com/

Sometime soon I’ll be able to complete the HTML/CSS tutorial pages for my website, but it wasn’t possible to get it launched ASAP when those pages take the longest to put together. I’m not sure when I can get them done yet, but I hope it’ll be before Tumblr completely crashes and burns... I need my old tutorials on this blog to reference back to for how I organized everything. There are lots of mistakes to fix and new screenshots to take for better lesson examples, etc.

But yeah, a lot’s been going on. I’ve been trying to search for a new job (with no luck yet), managed to reach Affiliate on Twitch by some miracle, various family issues took place, my dad had to get heart surgery, etc.

Before going to a read more, if you don’t quite want to read a big wall of text or are scared of reading any medical topics (I get that), I’ll provide my thanks and more right here.

It’s been awesome to meet all the people I have on here - mostly through Gravity Falls! Writing and replying to theories was such a freakin blast, no matter how ridiculous things would get at times. Granted, I don’t like Tumblr itself as a social media platform and community if I’m brutally honest... However, I still had a little good come from this regardless of my bitterness from my old account before this one.

To you old mutuals of mine, and some of you old pals, keep being awesome! I hope you’re doing well in life; and if not, I hope for things to improve. Fight a good fight, but be careful in picking those fights. Life’s worth living and all that cliche junk that may or may not have much affect on you as motivating advice. 

This all goes to my general base of followers too if any of them come across this post. Thank you guys for following this dumb blog and enjoying and sharing so many of my fun posts for Gravity Falls! The show is still super important to me, and my all time favorite cartoon to exist. Whether you sent asks, replied, reblogged, or simply liked, all of that was awesome in its own way. Having discussions on the series is one of the best memories I’ll have on this most often unbearable website! (I hope that doesn’t sound too insulting or generalizing about this site...)

And thank you for anyone who enjoyed the rest of my content here, and bearing with any personal ramblings I may have had on some bad days.

It’d be cool to come across anyone here again in the near future, but at some other online platform. I’ve provided my active links above, so feel free to find me elsewhere if you want.

Goodbye to you all, and have a great rest of 2019 and beyond!

This new year is also already off to a very... Surreal and terrifying start. In case you haven’t already checked my Twitter from the time of this post to see what I wrote there, I got a severe case of my rapid heartrate and ended up hospitalized rather than stuck in Urgent Care on its own. Just 3 weeks ago, I was in UC from a less severe but still terrifying rapid heart rate that woke me up at 5am and wouldn’t calm the heck down.

I know it seems weird to include this following story for my “farewell, Tumblr” post, but I think it’ll help give some interesting record of closure here. I’ve had personal posts and ramblings on this blog about my cardiac terrors and fears. I don’t recall exactly what I’ve written here, but maybe it’d be interesting for me to search for any of those posts again to kinda look back on those thoughts...

It’s been a few years since I’ve had a bad case of rapid heartrate... In fact, I remember writing about that experience back then here on my blog too. I was put on a heart monitor for only 3 days and yeah. Of course 3 days wasn’t enough to catch anything significant... So my heart issue was still freakin shrouded in mystery and only ever connected to my anxiety/panic disorder.

Welp, I was put on a heart monitor again just last week and I requested for it to last 30 days. Lo and behold, about 8 days later, my most severe case occurred and my monitor recorded a 250bpm max rate... This monitor is linked to cellular wifi thankfully, so the company got alerted of it and called my local UC to take me in and then called the house for my mom to answer and help drive me there. (Some moments before leaving home, my heartrate went back down to the 140′s or so, but still really bad and wouldn’t return to normal.)

In UC, I had to get X-Rays as well, but I have no idea what they found from ‘em? I wasn’t really told what they resulted with... I’ll have to ask sometime.

However, with everything going on and not even medication getting my heartrate back to normal, I was moved into a hospital shortly after my stay in UC. That was my first time ever being in an ambulance.

At the hospital, I got more blood tests done, more EKGs, all that stuff. There was also talk of me needing a uh... An ablation procedure. Then later that night, a cardiologist visited me and explained that I FINALLY got a confirmation on my issue. I’ve waited 10 years for answers on why my heart would be like this... Ugh. I’m relieved, but also frustrated it took that long to figure it out, y’know?

At this point, I didn’t have the name of the condition, but I was feeling more at peace when the cardiologist mentioned this condition isn’t life-threatening and doesn’t increase my risks of heart disease. The most common issue of it is how disruptive it is, and some other symptoms it can induce (dizziness,fatigue, etc.) Gosh, that cleared away so many worries and questions I had throughout these years.

But yeah, it’s something that people are just born with and it causes a faulty circuit or two in the heart giving it weird signals at times. Stuff like that. Those with the condition have a chance to never have symptoms of it, while others start showing symptoms between 11 - 50 years old. Mine started showing when I was 13, so that was... Great.

The only way to most likely treat it, is through an ablation... And that’s where things get really scary. I’ve always had nightmares about needing heart surgery, or my heart getting shot by bullets, etc. Like, that’s how bad I felt from never knowing what’s wrong with my vital organ.

My other option was medication, but it wouldn’t be guaranteed to help by itself. Afterall, I’ve had a few times in UC throughout my life where these meds didn’t help much if at all. They also figured it’d be good to get this procedure done the earlier the better, since it can be much more complicated if I were to have it done at an older age.

-big siiigh- After spending my first night there, yep, I’ve had that done. I don’t want to describe it ‘cause it was a terrifying experience, but I hope it helps in the end. I indeed had a faulty circuit they found, and they uh... Did what had to be done.

After I was sent back to my room, the cadiologist returned and gave me the name of my condition. Of ALL THINGS, it’s “Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome” or “WPW Syndrome” for short. Despite all the straight-up trauma I’ve had, I guess in a way I can kinda thank God for the bit of humor?? (For context, I developed an interest in wolves and werewolves during my teens and loving them about as much as cats...)

I was keeping my closest friends up to date on this through my phone during all this too. I kinda knew what I’d get myself into when revealing the name of my diagnosis to them... But the friendly teasing (such as “wow, so you DO have a wolf’s heart!”) cheered me up. I’m just really thankful for my friends for keeping me company even if only possible through online chat. And despite my conflicts with my mom, she stayed by me and helped me, spending nights in the hospital with me and all that stuff. I would’ve been so much more terrified and - errgh, for lack of better words - heart broken. Being all alone without someone I know being nearby during these types of things, regardless of how much I like being alone, is stressful. I would’ve otherwise only had doctors and nurses, but they’d come in and out and not always be in the room.

So, my heart needs to adjust to this, and the recovery is a little scary at times too. I’m pulling through the best I can, using guidance from my doctors. They had me stay one more night, and as of yesterday, I’ve been able to return home. Gotta spend a week relaxing and healing up, keeping up with certain medications to help, and so on.

With all that said, and for those who read this entire mess of a thing, see you all elsewhere!

[lizordz74]

An older oc that I’m reblogging.

(I like Roma a lot as I put a good amount of time on her. So she’s not getting change from my reboot. Roma will stay Roma. I’m rebloging again due to some thing I added and Tumblr bugging out on me)

I spend some good time working on this and I’m proud to introduce you to Roma!

Name: Roma

Age: mid-twenties

Height: She’s a tall person. Just up to Goku’s neck if the two stood side-by-side.

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Occupation: A combat medic in the Time Patrol

Family: Father (Alive), Mother (Deceased)

Backstory:

This bundle of joy was born into a very rich family on a very old planet with secrets that have yet to bo discovered. Her Dad was a “Businessman” and Her mother is a Doctor that did everything. Her family was a happy one. Roma spent her time with her mother to learn the medical skills and her Father went to work. They were a nice humble with no problems... until one day Roma was told to help clean her dads office and she did. Under the desk she found a button, and she pressed it and a secret door opened up.

Curious she went inside and went into the hallway and entered a room with ancient books and relics. She couldn’t make up most of the rooms but the one thing she could make out was something to do with Time manipulation. Roma’s curiosity took a toll when she accidentally knocked a fragile artifact and it exploded with a small, quiet but mysterious effect. She didn’t feel anything happen at all though. She shrugged it off, thinking that was nothing. She exited the secret room before her dad noticed at all.

As the years past Roma’s parents started to drift away. Roma’s dad started to work more and more and not spending time with Roma. Her mother did not approve of that. Arguments increased. Roma still spent time with her mother with medical stuff learning many things.

In her teens, thing between her parents grew to a boiling point of their relationship. One day Roma’s dad asked her to come at the office. To learn the truth. It turns out that her dad is a crime lord. Then Roma heard a scream. Her mother. She was shot by a special bullet that can kill majins that she learned with her mother. Roma tried everything to save her mother but her mother died before she could save her. Her mother was... assassinated.

Outraged at her father. It’s his fault that Roma’s mom was dead. His fault that he was a crime lord leading to this... but it was HER fault for not saving her mom. Roma ran away from home and into the outside world. She spend most of her time helping the wounded trying to forgive herself for being unable to save her mother. Her medical skills was noticed by many people... that she can be used as a tatical move to their gang.

Roma was leaving a alleyway when four men attacked her. She was on the ground, these men were going to kipnap her! Then... everything... Froze in place. Like. Time itself. Then the men started to reverse a little bit but Roma can move around just fine. She beat the thugs up and after that Roma had a strong gift. To stop time. (I’ll talk about this more later).

Years later of roaming and helping anyone that she could do. She got the news that her dad’s in prison for life. She visited her father. It was a emotional meeting but she still couldn’t forgive him and herself for getting her mom killed. Roma’s dad gave her all of the crime money and told her not to follow in his footsteps. She did that. For her mother. Not her father. It was what Roma’s mother would’ve wanted.

Roma needed a peaceful place to go to. To get away from most things and think about life. She heard of a place that was called Conton city. She went there to buy a mansion with her tens of trillions of money she got from her dad.

Months past and she did nothing. Just. Nothing. Thinking what her mother would do now. If Roma asked her mother she’ll say ‘The right thing’. Wait... the right thing. Roma helped and protected many people that needed it. She needed to help people in need but Conton had very little people that had needed it but there was a program that did specially that.

The Time Patrol...

Roma signed up to the academy. She struggled a little bit but she still past with her medical skills. She was assigned as a Combat Medic for the TP.

Roma still is trying to forgive herself for her mother’s death... and her father as well secretly...

Personality: VERY Supportive, perfectionist, slightly snobbish, joyful, hates sour food, organized, messy at times. She tends to hold grudges against people if they’re mean or just not a nice person.

Likes: Helping others, exploring, sleeping, having everything nice and tidy (except her bed...), being independent.

Dislikes: Failing other because it remind her of her mother and how Roma failed to save her. People who are assholes, people who are criminals.

People she likes: Her mother... that’s about it.

Strengths: Her time manipulation (I’ll express more about this.., Her medical skills, her kindness for others, her speed, compassion and willpower.

Weaknesses: hard on herself, not very strong at all, Gullible, Can and Will shut herself away from others if someone dies and she could’ve done something about it, slightly naive.

Some Facts:

She has four outfits (Two I drawn myself!)

She has a “Casual”, “Training” or “fighting” clothes, a “Battlesuit” and “sleepwear”

Casual:

Training/Fighting

Battlesuit: like zarbons but with a little bit different

And sleepwear: a tank top and a thong

Now to address the elephant in the room. Her Time Manipulation. She can COMPLETELY stop time, nothing can break through it BUT to compensate for that she can only stop time for 0.025 of a second (Hit can stop time for a 0.1 of a second to compare.) AND instead Roma’s Time-Skip is a dome like blast that is mediocre in size that Roma HAS to shoot or throw out. It’s like a grenade that forms a dome that completes stops time for 0.025 of a second. I hope this balances her out enough.

Roma it the worst person to sleep with she one of these sleepers... (I didn’t want to draw this so imagine that’s Roma)

My second oc is still being worked on and I’ll give you a secret... it’s a icejin... and I may draw the whole character..! Stay tuned lol