#will not stop reading it though. never. the patient needs terrible cat books to survive. no one said anything about thriving

[director-yomi-hellsmile]

one day when im stronger when i obtain testosterone i will record myself reciting the entire navy seal copypasta yomi rain code version. which will come out nearly completely undecipherable due to my powerful polish accent and semiverbality but i trust that those with a pure heart will be able to get it

[crispychrissy]

Shrink - Chapter 31

Summary: When patients of a psychiatrist that caters exclusively to hunters start going crazy and dying, Sam and Dean Winchester investigate what might be causing these bizarre episodes. Pairing: None Word Count: 1685 Warnings: Smidge of angst A/N: My first fanfic! This is going to be a series, probably over 30 chapters total. Any feedback is appreciated, I am a newbie!

Purrr.

Purrr.

Ellen groaned and shifted slightly with her eyes still closed, feeling the warm weight of something vibrating on her chest. She moved her hand to her chest, only to feel the soft fur of an animal, making her eyes shoot open. "What the-" She said, sitting up, pushing the creature off her chest to between her legs. She stared at a cat and blinked a few times before shutting her eyes and rubbing them. She opened her eyes again to see the cat still there, licking it's paw. "Purrito? My...my baby!" Ellen's voice cracked as she scooped the small Maine Coon cat into her arms and began stroking it's fur. "Where...how...?" Ellen looked around cautiously, even though the sense of familiarity and safety overwhelmed her senses. She was laying on a soft leather couch in the living room of an apartment she had while she was still in medical school. Everything was exactly the same, down to the almost dead cactus in the windowsill that she could never figure out how much to water. Ellen turned and put her feet on the floor before gently placing Purrito on the couch next to her. She stood up and made her way to the extremely large bookcase on the far right wall of the living room. She brushed her fingers over the spines of the various books on the middle shelf. She had quite the collection of very old and rare medical texts that took up the majority of the bookshelf closest to the couch.

Ellen closed her eyes and took a deep breath, tears welling up in her eyes. She could remember it clearly. The smell of burnt wood and smoke filling her nostrils as she was driving home from her last night class. She rounded the corner to her block only to find her apartment building engulfed in flames. Everything she had...everything she owned...gone. She was pulled back to reality, or whatever this was, by a soft mewl and a warm sensation on her right leg. She smiled and looked down, only to be greeted by the brilliant apple green eyes of the cat she had lost in that fire looking up at her. "I was wondering why Dean's eyes look so familiar." Ellen smiled and scratched Purrito's head between his ears. "Still doesn't explain how the hell I'm here. Unless...." "No, you haven't been kidnapped by a djinn." A calm male voice said from behind her. Ellen turned around quickly, backing up against the bookshelf. "Who are you? Where am I?" The man smiled and stood up from his position in the chair next to the window. He was an older black man with soft eyes and salt and pepper scruff on his face. "My name is Joshua. Please," He motioned to the couch. "Come sit down, Ellen." "Joshua? The Angel?" Ellen replied, hesitantly sidestepping toward the couch. He nodded slightly and smiled as Ellen sat down on the far right side of the couch, tucking her legs up underneath her. Ellen exhaled quickly and closed her eyes. "Am I...Is this?" She stuttered. "Yes, you are dead and yes, this is your Heaven." Joshua tilted his head looking at Ellen, as tears began to stream down her face. "Aurriel? I didn't...I didn't survive?" Ellen said between sobs. "No. Being that close to a celestial blast as concentrated as hers caused deterioration on a molecular level. Frankly, I'm surprised you weren't vaporized." Joshua replied as his eyes followed Purrito as he climbed into Ellen's lap. "Are the boys alright? Did they make it?" Ellen said, absently running her fingers through the cat's fur, trying to regain her composure. "Yes. Castiel was able to heal his own wounds and Sam is injured, but they are all alive." Joshua said, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. "All thanks to you." "Thanks to me?" Ellen scoffed and shook her head. "I just stabbed the bitch." "Be that as it may, the amount of good you do is unprecedented. You are one of a kind." Joshua replied, leaning forward in his chair. "Thank you." Ellen smiled and nodded. "But...I guess that's done and over with now." She looked down as her smile disappeared. "Ellen," Joshua said, placing his hand on hers. "You are not done." Ellen looked up and furrowed her brow in confusion. "What? I'm dead. How am I not done?" "Your destiny became intertwined with the Winchesters when they started investigating the deaths of your patients." Joshua began, before realizing Ellen was still confused. "Think of it as a detour on the highway you were already travelling on." "Alright." Ellen said, drawing the word out. "The Winchesters have the tenancy to...redirect destiny." Joshua sighed. "Oh, yeah. Lucifer and Michael's vessels and all that fun stuff." Ellen smiled. "I read the books." "Exactly. In this case, it wasn't their destiny they altered. It was yours." He replied. "So I wasn't meant to die?" Ellen asked. Joshua shook his head. "No. Your destiny is much more significant than you realize." "Are all Angels so cryptic?" Ellen shook her head and laughed lightly. "It comes with the job." Joshua smiled. A few moments passed before Ellen shifted her feet and placed them on the floor in front of her, taking a deep breath. "So what do you want from me?" "An answer." "To what?" "We are going to give you a choice. You can either remain in Heaven for an eternity at peace, or we will return you to your body to continue your path. We very rarely will provide a soul this choice, but we cannot make the decision for you as you have already died and deserve to be in Heaven." Joshua rested his arms on his knees and interlaced his fingers together. "If you need a moment to think, I will leave." Ellen blinked for a few moments before drawing in a breath to say something. She raised her eyebrows and shook her head, looking down at the floor and swallowing the thought. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Joshua. My passion is helping people. Whether it's being a shoulder to cry on, giving advice, or stabbing a psychotic soldier angel in the back." She smiled. "I know where my heart truly lies, and as long as there are hunters struggling out there, my work will never be done. My destiny will never be fulfilled. I may be one small person, but if I can change the life or destiny of even one lost soul...it's all worth it." Joshua smiled. "So, Ellen. What is your decision?" "I think you know." Ellen smiled and winked at Joshua.

"Dammit!" Sam yelled as the car came to a stop on the side of the road, about ten minutes after they started their journey to the hospital. Cas had told him that Ellen is dead and her soul has left her body, and there was nothing else anyone could do. Sam flung the passenger's side door open and stepped out, slamming the door behind him. Dean huffed a quiet Oh, boy as he also opened his door and stepped out. "Every time, Dean. Every time we meet someone that does anything good in this terrible world, we get them killed." Sam spat, pacing around behind the car. "Charlie? Kevin? Sarah? Everyone! Those are all on US! If they never met us they would-" "Don't you dare say it, Sam. If they never met us, they would have been dead a long time ago. Ellen chose this. She chose to help us and died a honorable death. It was a hunter's death and she will get a hunter's funeral." Dean said calmly. Sam shook his head and ran a hand down his face before running his fingers through his hair. Sam didn't speak. All he could do was stare at Ellen's lifeless body slumped over in the back seat of the car. He dropped his head and braced his hands on the trunk of the Impala, exhaling sharply. "Sammy, I'm so sorry." Dean said, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Let's get her home." Sam nodded after a few moments and patted the trunk with his hands. Dean stepped away toward the driver's door as Sam slowly walked over to the passenger's side and slid into his seat, giving Dean a solemn nod once he was situated. "Sam...I'm sorry that I-" Cas began. "No...it's okay Cas. You did everything you could." Sam turned and looked at Cas. "Thank you for trying." Cas nodded back at Sam with a sympathetic smile as Dean started the engine and pulled back onto the road. They drove back to the motel in complete silence to pick up their clothes and various personal items they had left. While Dean and Sam cleared out their motel room, Cas had moved Ellen's body so she was sitting with her back against the rear driver's side door and legs stretched out across his lap. He draped a blanket over her to make it appear that she was sleeping. Fifteen minutes later they were back on the highway starting their six hour drive back to the bunker. Sam sat in complete silence, turning off the radio every time Dean had tried to turn it on. Two hours had passed before the silence in the car was broken by Cas groaning and closing his eyes. "You alright back there, Cas?" Dean said, making eye contact with him in the rear view mirror. Cas nodded. "I'm fine. Just sensing a surge in celestial ener-" Ellen lurched forward, opened her eyes, and gasped loudly...taking in a deep breath before breathing fast and hard, looking around. "HOLY MOTHER OF-" Dean jumped, swerving the car into oncoming traffic before quickly correcting himself back into his lane. Sam spun around in his seat at the noise and stared at Ellen, his eyes wide in confusion and still bloodshot from tears. "Ellen?" Sam murmured as Dean pulled off to the side of the road. Ellen made eye contact with Sam, slowing her breathing. She smiled and nodded. "Hi, Sam."