#will also take any pig bones you have so I can make broth

[secondbeatsongs]

@onichophora replied to your post “new year, new food crime”:

You should try Brawn. It is the left over bits of a pig boiled with a few veges and loads of herbs etc so it creates its own aspic, you pull out the meat, chop it into little bits, and then put it and the liquid aspic into a pan, let it cool, slice up, and eat. You often have it on bread and with condiments. Tasty and thrifty

​oh we call that "head cheese" here!

I've heard of it, but I've never tried it. but after this aspic experiment went so well, maybe I should!

[noercochran08]

Pork Loin Roast Recipe How To Make Roasted Pork Loin

If so, this Czech roast pork loin recipe is for you. Caraway seeds, dried marjoram, and parsley are the main seasonings, together with sliced onion. The recipe calls for a boneless pork loin roast, however pork shoulder or a bone-in pork loin are good alternatives. A pork loin roast would not should be roasted in the oven. It is a superb minimize of meat that comes with a thin layer of fats on top. Once roasted, it has a crispy prime and a juicy inside that's simply irresistible. We’ve been making this recipe for many years and is all the time a huge hit with family and visitors. Quick tip about brining – Do NOT evenly swap desk salt in your brining answer forkosher saltor your roast pork loin shall be too salty. You will want half as a lot table salt as kosher salt. First, you’ll combine thekosher saltand heat water to dissolve the salt.

Remove from oven and tent pork roast loosely with a piece of foil for 5-10 minutes before serving.

Yes, it is totally secure to cook dinner a pork loin straight from frozen.

Also, I’m gluten free, so I was happy to have another dish that everyone can enjoy.

Put the roast on a rack in a roasting pan.

This will make your pork medium uncommon and perhaps a bit pink in the middle.

If you resolve to switch a pork loin with tenderloins in a recipe, take care to adjust cooking instances. Pork tenderloins are a lot smaller and leaner than the bigger loin cuts and can prepare dinner extra rapidly. Pork tenderloin is greatest cooked quickly, while pork loin benefits from an extended, slower time. A good rule of thumb is to cook pork loin 25 minutes per pound at 350 degrees F .

Temperature And Time For Pork Loin

It’s greatest to let it cook for a brief time in order that the surface has thawed a bit and then add the seasoning and continue roasting it. The celery is simply acting as a rack to maintain the meat lifted so that the air circulates under the roast, which outcomes in extra even cooking. Or you can use an oven-safe metal rack. According to the National Pork Board, it is now suitable for eating pork as soon as it has reached 145°F. However, many individuals grew up in the days where pork needed to be cooked to 160°F. When they see barely pink pork meat, which is what you get at 145°F, it bothers them.

Pork loins could be boneless or bone-in. While the pork tenderloin is lengthy and narrow and comes from the muscle that runs down the pig's backbone. Pork tenderloins are all the time boneless. For Fish Seasoning and tender pork loin roast, let it rest for 5 to 10 minutes before slicing. Pork escalopes, or medallions are round slices of the loin with no skin, fat or bone attached, making them an extremely lean reduce.

What's The Difference Between Pork Loin And Pork Tenderloin?

If there are any drippings in the pan, you can pour those out to make gravy . Alternatively, you can move the roast out of the pan, swirl some inventory or broth around in there to loosen up any drippings, after which pour that out to make use of for gravy. Mix collectively half teaspoon black pepper, half teaspoon garlic powder, and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Remove from oven, transfer to carving board. Tent roast with foil and let relaxation 10 minutes. Insert an oven probe thermometer into middle of middle area of pork loin (if you do not have one use a standard probe thermometer to test temperature occasionally).

Spooning over thick, herby, buttery sauce which I sank all my roast potatoes into afterwards, cleaning up my plate. Brining is the process of submerging a reduce of meat into a solution of salt and water in order to enhance the moisture capacity of the meat. The meat absorbs a lot liquid that it can’t all evaporate in the course of the cooking course of, making a juicier piece of meat. Pork tenderloin will get its name for a purpose – it is amongst the most tender cuts of pork as a end result of it comes from a muscle that doesn’t receives much, if any, exercise. Serve it traditionally with rice and beans and use leftovers for Cubano sandwiches. For a major dish, Geoffrey Zakarian's juicy, roasted pork loin wrapped in prosciutto and basted with a sweet and spicy glaze is a showstopper. Pierce meat with a sharp knife in a number of places and press garlic paste into the openings. Rub pork loin with the remaining garlic combination and olive oil. Although you wouldn't have to brown the pork roast first, it's a incredible method to lock in the flavors.

[august-bleeds-red]

Texas Heat (Part Two)

Alpha!Tommy x omega!Reader (AFAB). When you find yourself trapped within the Hewitt family’s web of murder, violence and pain, the last thing you expect to do is fall in love.

Warnings: implied non-con, gore. NSFW in later chapters.

Part One / Part Two / Part Three

~

Dinner that night is stew.

 You help Luda cut the vegetables, but the meat is already simmering in the pot by the time you come down. Thomas is nowhere to be seen, and when you ask where he is, as casually as possible, Luda answers with a sly grin.

 “Oh, he’s probably workin’ down in the basement. Often doesn’t eat ‘til later, ‘specially when we have guests. He’s awful shy, you see.”

 You don’t mention the way he’d stared at you upstairs – more domineering and intense than anyone else you’d have described as “shy”.

 “I hope you don’t mind me asking—” you begin to say, but she’s already nodding, clearly anticipating your next words.

 “His face?”

 You nod. Setting down the knife she’s using to slice the carrots, she adjusts her spectacles and glances towards the door you presume leads to the basement.

 “He’s awful sensitive about it. We don’t usually talk about it, but I don’t want you to be makin’ any nasty judgements ‘bout him.”

 “Of course not, I wouldn’t.”

 She pats your arm and continues chopping the carrots. “I found him when he was just born. Some cruel no-goods had left him to die in a trash can. Lord knows what filthy things he was exposed to in there before I took him home. He started gettin’ skin complaints when he was a boy. Real bad. The other kids used to tease him for it, call him ‘diseased’. Got too much for him so he took a knife and . . .” She presses the tips of her fingers to her mouth and shakes her head. “Sorry, still gets to me.”

 “I understand,” you say, your heart aching empathetically. “I’m sorry.”

 She pats your arm again and sighs, “You’re a good girl, Y/N.”

 For some reason, she says this with a note of sadness which makes you uneasy again. You don’t have long to dwell on it, though, before Hoyt enters the room.

 “How’s that stew comin’ on, Momma?” he asks jovially.

 You help set the table and bow your head respectfully while Hoyt says Grace, accepting your bowl of stew with a grateful smile. The meat is tender, with an unusual flavour you can’t quite place. You figure it must be some kind of game animal you’ve not tasted before, or herbs mixed in with the broth. It’s good, whatever it is. You help yourself to the cornbread Luda offers you and try not to be disconcerted by the way Monty is staring at you.

 He’s just a dirty old man, you try and convince yourself. Ignore him.

 Though it’s not that late by the time your plate is cleared, you claim tiredness and go upstairs to your tiny room. Closing the door behind you, you wish there was some kind of furniture you could prop against it; the chest of drawers is far too heavy for you to move inconspicuously. You don’t feel quite comfortable enough to change into the camisole you usually wear for sleeping, so decide to remain in your shorts and T-shirt. One night won’t hurt. You brush your teeth in the tiny sink, making a mental note to rinse your toothbrush with clean water before using it again, and curl up on top of the blanket. The air is thick and humid, and you’re soon wishing you could just sleep naked. Your own scent hangs heavy in the air and you curse your time of the month. Even with the precautions prescribed to you, your heat was always strong, but it never has this much of a toll on you. You remember your first – you were ten, an early bloomer, and it had hit you at summer camp. It was the height of August, and the counsellors had found you whimpering in a corner of the dorm, hugging a pillow and grinding frantically against it.

 That was the last time you went to camp.

 Could it be because of Thomas? Is that why your body is reacting so strongly?

 Growling in frustration, you reach for your bag and grope inside for your pills. The doctors only advise taking three pills in a single day under extreme circumstances, but being under the same roof as an alpha as intimidating as Thomas Hewitt strikes you as pretty damn extreme. It takes you almost three whole minutes to realise the awful truth – the pills aren’t there. You know you put them back in the inside pocket earlier, the same place you always do. They’re definitely gone.

 Your heart starts pounding and you feel that prickling sense of danger creep over you again. It would have been easy for Hoyt, Monty, or even Thomas to come in here and take the pills while you were downstairs helping Luda. Which means they know. Perhaps you were kidding yourself that you could lie to them.

 You decide not to take any chances. Even without your car, there was no way you could stay here. Your parents would understand. Perhaps you could even call the cops when you got to the next town and ask them to fetch it for you. Gathering your belongings as quietly as possible, you open the door just a crack and peer out down the darkened hallway. All is still. You manage to make no sound all the way to the top of the stairs, taking care not to step in the centre of each step as you tiptoe down.

 You’re almost at the door when you hear it – a low, keening moan.

 You turn glacially slowly to look at the basement door. You could kid yourself that it was a dog, but you know in your bones that’s not the case.

 “Please . . .” the voice calls plaintively. A girl. “Help me . . .”

 Fear washes over you like a bucket of ice water. You should go – you know you should go. The door is right in front of you.

 “Pleeeeease . . .” the voice sobs.

 Your parents’ faces swim before your eyes. You think of what they’d suffer were you to never come home. You brother, your sister, your friends . . .

 “Oh God, help me . . .”

 “God damn it,” you whisper through gritted teeth. With a quick glance upstairs, you tread as light as a spider down the corridor towards the basement. The girl’s voice gets louder – it’s definitely coming from down there. The door is unlocked when you twist the handle, pulling it towards you just enough to slip inside and down the rickety steps beyond. A large pool of water is gathered at the foot of the stairs, too large for you to avoid. You wince as the damp soaks through your sneakers and socks.

 Two large hunks of meat are hanging from hooks along the wall. You think they may have once been pigs, though the head and limbs are all hacked away. You find the girl – a petite blonde in a short blue dress – on a filthy mattress, roped to a pipe in one corner of the room. She looks as though she’s been there for days, weeks, even. Her skin is bruised, and you can tell by her frightened scent that she’s a beta. You can also smell Hoyt’s potent musk on her – in her hair, in the smears of congealed fluid between her legs.

 She smells you before she sees you, eyes searching disbelievingly in the half-dark. You quickly stifle her mouth with your hand before she cries out.

 “Keep quiet, okay?” you hiss. You pick at the tightly-knotted rope, breaking a fingernail in your attempt to untie it. “Fuck.”

 “Oh God,” she gasps.

 “Shh, it’s okay, I’m gonna—”

 “NO!” she screams, her body falling into a fit of panicked flailing. Her eyes are big and brimming with fear, staring over your shoulder.

 The scent reaches you just before Thomas’s fingers do.

 You duck and back away from the captured girl, who continues screaming like she’s being sliced apart. Every nerve in your body is yelling at you to flee, to fight, to do anything besides what you are doing – which is staring like a deer in headlights up at Thomas approaching you. His scent is almost overpowering, and despite the terror seizing you, you feel a warm stream of slick trickling down the inside of your thigh.

 He gives a sharp intake of breath and rumbles deep in his chest. Your knees tremble, and you unconsciously breathe in the heady aroma surrounding the enormous man. Your breath shudders as it leaves you. Your instincts are commanding you to stay, to submit, to give yourself to this alpha; you can already feel your body leaning into him.

 The basement door slams open and Hoyt’s angry voice preceeds his heavy footsteps.

 “Nuff of this dang caterwauling, some of us’re tryin’ to sleep!”

 He stops dead at the wall of scent surrounding you, and a sly grin takes over his rugged features. “Well, lookee here.”

 Reaching inside his pocket, he pulls out a small foil strip that you recognise instantly.

 “Guess somebody’s not just a plain ole beta after all, huh?”

 “You asshole,” you spit, your disdain for Hoyt overriding your lust for just a moment.

 “That’s not very polite now, is it?” he says. He moves casually towards the whimpering blonde, who stares in terrified anticipation up at him. He reaches down and strokes her hair, and she cringes away from his touch. “Tommy, why don’t you teach this little bitch a lesson in manners?”

 Thomas takes two short strides towards you, but you dart out from under his grasp and sprint towards the stairs. The girl you’re abandoning screams after you, but all you can think of now is to escape, battling the nagging tug at the back of your mind that’s still desperately reaching out for Thomas.

 You somehow make it up the steps and through the door, your footsteps crashing on the boards as you fly down the hall. You throw your entire weight against the front door, splintering the wood surrounding the lock as you burst out into the night.

 You breathe in lungfuls of air as you sprint across the field, heading for the road. You’ve never been a fast runner, but the adrenaline pumping through your veins has you practically leaping like a gazelle. Your feet catch on stones and loose earth, threatening you with a fall, but you just manage to keep your balance. The sound of pounding footsteps behind you sends a sharp spike of fear into your gut, and if you weren’t running you may have vomited.

 You vaguely recognise another sound – a deep, mechanical roar – but you don’t want to risk glancing over your shoulder to see if it is what you think. He’s getting closer, you can smell him, you can hear his laboured breathing, you can feel his fingers grasping at your hair—

 He overshoots you by a good ten strides when you fall to the ground, scraping your hands and knees on hard soil. Turning to face your supine form, he brandishes the growling chainsaw clutched in his massive hands.

 You’re dead. You must be. How can you possibly expect any other outcome from this situation? Scrambling to your knees, you try to rise, but the metal teeth of the chainsaw brush too close; you can almost taste your own blood. Thomas’s eyes, black with rage, focus on you. His chest is heaving, his muscular arms flexing as he prepares to deal the killing blow—

 “Alpha!” you shriek, the word spilling from your tongue before you can recognise its meaning. “Alpha, please!”

 He freezes, arms aloft, staring down at you in surprise and disbelief.

 You crawl forwards, reaching out a shaking hand to touch his booted foot. “Please . . . p-please don’t kill me.”

 He glances up towards the house. You can tell he’s not used to making decisions without approval, but Hoyt isn’t here to spit poison in his ear.

 “I’ll . . . I’ll be yours.” You can’t believe the words you’re saying. “Please, alpha . . . you can have me. I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t kill me.”

 He steps back and shakes his head angrily, but not in refusal – more like he’s trying to rid your honeyed words from his head as a bull might dislodge a persistent fly. Taking your life in your hands, you slowly rise to your feet and proffer your sweating hands towards him; the scent from your wrists glands is strong, unavoidable. The chainsaw powers down, and his arms slowly fall to waist-height. You take careful hold of one wrist and detach his fingers from the chainsaw handle. Keeping your gaze locked with his, you part your dry lips and press the flat of your tongue against his own wrist, licking a long, slow stripe. His skin is salty with sweat, the musk beneath deep and earthy, hitting the back of your throat like spice. You feel a shudder pass through his body and go one step further – baring your teeth just enough to nip the tender, swollen skin. The chainsaw falls heavily to the ground as he grabs you, one hand twisting the skin of your wrist, the other securing the back of your neck, fingers knotted in your hair. You stare up at him, heart dancing, skin tingling, fear and lust seeking dominance in your stomach. His teeth are bared behind the gap in his mask, his brow furrowed in bewildered rage and desire. You lift the hand still free from his grip and, as tenderly as though handling a baby sparrow, touch the gland at the nape of his neck. The skin is raised and warm, and his eyes close almost in reverence at the contact.

 “What in Lord’s name’re you doin’, boy?!” Hoyt’s furious voice startles you both. He’s hurrying up behind you, shotgun under one arm, glaring between you and Thomas.

 In a swift, one-handed movement, Thomas pulls you flush against his body, your nose filling with the metallic scent of blood imbedded in his apron – which, it occurs to you, is undoubtedly human blood.

 Hoyt stops in his tracks, assessing the situation before him. You, pliant and submissive in Thomas’s arms; Thomas, dominant and possessive, ready to protect you from the threat Hoyt poses. The older man sighs, chuckling softly.

 “Well, I’ll be damned.” Swinging the shotgun to rest on his shoulder, he shakes his grizzled head. “Y’sure, Tommy? She’d taste mighty sweet with Mama’s hot biscuits.”

 Thomas’s grip tightens and you whimper – he’s about to break your wrist. His fingers immediately loosen, and you see a flash of what could almost be called concern cross his face. Hoyt rolls his eyes and turns, heading back towards the farmhouse.

 “Come on, then.”

 Before you can protest, Thomas sweeps you up into a bridal embrace, pressing your body against his broad chest. Tears prick your eyes as you’re brought back to the place you fought so hard to escape from. As you’re carried over the threshold, Hoyt shoots you a nasty grin.

 “Welcome to the family, Little Miss Omega.”    

~

Comments are greatly appreciated because I’m a needy little trashbag.               

[couchpotatoaniki]

One Year ❣︎ Seven: Never Ask Friends for Help

Chapter Summary: As San expected, he caught a cold after your little prance through the storm in Hallim Park the previous day. Luckily, you're fine, which gives you the wonderful opportunity to look after him and the even more wonderful opportunity to let your chaotic nature shine.

Pairing: Mafia!San x Fem!Reader Genre: Mafia AU, fluff, angst, eventual smut, lotta crack and stupid shit ngl Chapter warnings: swearing, (this chapter is pure fluff and crack) Word count: 3.2k+ A 365 Days parody

Previous: Chapter Six For the rest of the series, click here

Speech in bold means they’re talking in Korean

Speech in italics is whatever the reader wants their native langue to be that’s not Korean or English

Speech without either means they’re talking in English

Silence filled your room when you woke up the next morning. It was strange, since San had said he would be waking you up, and there you were, still lying in bed by the time noon rolled around.

It wasn’t as if you were waiting for him to come and get you, but you just wanted to take advantage of the time in such a warm blanket. Yeosang often joked about how you became a cold-blooded reptile whenever you felt sleepy, body temperature dropping and your tongue sharp like that of a snake.

Basically, it was his long-winded way of calling you a cranky, heat-stealing bitch.

Not that you minded at all, since Yeosang was a cranky bitch himself when sleepy.

But then half an hour passed, and there was still no sign of San. Throwing the blanket off your form, you slipped on a pair of slippers and got ready for the day, finding him becoming the very next thing on your agenda.

And the state you found him in was certainly laughable--to you anyway.

“Did you seriously get sick after a little storm?” you chuckled, eyes taking in San wrapped in the covers as if he was a baby, sniffling every few seconds.

“Oh, shut it,” he glared at you, speaking with a nasally voice.

You took a step into his room, one looking fairly similar to yours, with little pictures or much personalisation in general. Must not have stayed here often then, or had many memories he wanted to keep.

That thought... it made you feel a little sad.

Once you reached the edge of his bed, you sat down beside him, noticing just how sickly-looking he was. Skin paler, hair sticking to his forehead from the sweat, flush cheeks and nose, uneven breathing, soft whimpering.

Your smile faded slightly. “How long have you been like this?”

“Since last night,” he coughed, brushing away your hand as you reached out to check his temperature. “Don’t touch me, I don’t want you to catch whatever this is.”

Clicked your tongue at his response and did so anyway. “Holy shit, you’re burning up. More than you should be. Has anyone seen to you yet?” Instantly, you brushed the hair from his eyes, simultaneously wiping away the sweat. Was pretty gross, but you didn’t mind at all.

San relaxed under your gentle touch, finding it cool and soothing against his muddled senses. “N-No. I texted Hongjoong to tell everyone to leave me alone. Clearly didn’t do a good enough job if you’re here.”

Lightly hitting his chest over the blanket, you scoffed. “You’re happy I’m here, don’t lie.”

Grinning, he sighed. “Can’t hide anything from you, now can I, Hun?”

“Nope,” you huffed as you got up. “Now, I’m going to prepare something for you to eat since you probably haven’t had anything since yesterday.” On cue, his stomach grumbled painfully loudly, making the man visibly cringe as he was about to decline your offer so you would stay with him for a little bit longer. “Looks like Mister Tummy’s already answered for you.”

“Mister Tummy doesn’t know shit.”

“Mister Tummy knows more shit than you do. In fact, it processes all of your shit for you.”

“Gross.”

“I know. Mister Tummy’s gross. But full of wisdom.”

“You know what, just go. Leave me be for a bit.”

Evil chuckling reached his ears. “Now that you’ve said it, I’ll just be here to annoy you as much as I can. But before we do that, keep yourself bundled up and make sure you’re sweating buckets. It’s the most effective way to break a nasty fever like that.” You began wrapping him up in the thick blanket like he was a burrito.

With that, you left for the kitchen, calling Seonghwa’s number. As the ringing continued, you looked around, noticing how there were few guards and servants around the place. Not even Wooyoung, Jongho, or Hongjoong could be seen in your trek to make food.

“What do you want, troll?”

“You’ve got to stop calling me that. Whatever happened to ‘hello’? Too mainstream for you?”

“...Hello, troll. What do you want?”

Narrowing your eyes ahead of you, smirk pressing against your lips, you tried to look around for the chef. Not there either. “Much better. Now, can you give me a recipe for that soup with ‘magical healing properties’ you used to give me?”

“Bone broth?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m on adventure to nurse a sociopathic cuddle-demon back to health, now are you going to give me the recipe or am I going to get Yunho to drag it out of you? Because I know very well that he will.”

Seonghwa’s sigh was loud enough to be audible through the phone.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. Just text me the recipe, thank you, love you, byeeeeee.” Immediately ended the call, looking in all the cupboards, the pantry, the fridge, and the freezer. This place was stocked to the brim.

Shortly after, your phone began buzzing, Seonghwa requesting to video call you. Swiping the green button, you were met with a (slightly laggy) picture of Seonghwa’s chin, hearing him yell off screen. “--UNHO. MINGI. I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU BETTER PUT THAT DOWN BEFORE I SHOVE IT UP BOTH YOUR ASSES.”

You could make out the response, “Hehe, kinky.” Most likely Mingi from the very nature of the comment.

“What do you want, troll?” you echoed his words back to him, catching his attention--the other boys most likely long gone into the depth of the house.

“Well, well, well, how the tables have turned,” he smirked, moving the camera so you could see him better.

“It’s ‘how the turntables’.”

He looked at you with an unimpressed expression, not pleased with your Office reference, and carried on to ignore it. “So there is no way in hell I’m sending you the recipe through text, since people can easily hack that--”

“And by people, you mean--”

“Yeosang, yes, who else? Little rat bastard keeps trying to steal my recipes.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him you said that.”

“As if he hasn’t heard it already about a million times.”

You chuckled in response, knowing how true it was. “Fair enough. Now spill your secrets and bless me with the ability to cook.”

One word to describe the last hour of your life would be... Well, you couldn’t really think of a word. It was purely of Seonghwa screaming over the phone and you screaming back. And panicking. Both of you definitely panicked.

But all in all, the bone broth was made and tasted fairly decent--a worry you had after fucking up so many times in making a simple recipe.

With a pale and dreary look upon his face, Seonghwa looked at you through the phone, narrowing his eyes on you pouring some of the hot mixture in to a bowl. “You’re actually gonna feed him that? Sure you’re trying to nurse him, or was this a master plan to kill him after that ordeal? Because if it’s the latter, then there were much easier ways of doing so.”

“Shut up,” you grumbled, whispering prayers in your head that it would actually help San’s fever. “And goodbye.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Is that it? You’re gonna use me and then lea--”

You hand pulled away from the phone screen, after having pressed the red button. Chuckled to yourself with your comedic timing, completely forgetting the earful you’d get of the elder the next time you call him.

Gathering a tray, you placed the bowl of bone broth on top of it, as well as a packet of painkillers, a glass of water, and some turmeric tea; why San has it, you have no idea, since he seems to be a hot coffee-kind of person.

Would’ve added a flower, because you felt like being extra, but that would seem more like a romantic thing than a... well, whatever the hell you two were right now.

This situation wasn’t exactly common enough for it to be given a name.

Wafting away the thought, you grabbed the tray and walked quickly to the mobster’s bedroom. Didn’t need to worry about any spillage since you’ve had years of practice being quick and precise with movement.

Holding one hand beneath the tray (feeling a little heavy, but again, you’ve had practice), you used the other to open the door, finding San still swaddled in his blanket, sweating like a pig.

“Y/N...” he whimpered, an eye opening at the sound of you entering. Seeing him in such a vulnerable state was different to how he usually was--and you weren’t sure if you liked it.

“I’m right here, San,” you replied in a soft tone, brushing back his hair once more as soon as you placed the tray on the bedside-table beside you. “Brought you some food too. Can you sit up for me?”

Letting out soft whines, he tried to lift his body up, but was too weak and too caged in to get his back even a centimetre off the mattress. You saw the issue, and pulled the covers apart slightly so he could move a little more, both hands pulling gently at his shoulders so he could sit up properly.

Never had you seen someone this unwell from a simple fever. Sure, you’ve felt like shit before, but San’s condition was a little worrying. “Is there some private doctor I can call?”

“What,” he huffed, a smile etching onto his face as he looked into your eyes, “makes you think I have a private doctor?”

“Oh, I dunno, you’re a rich asshole?”

Chuckling, he let his head flop to the side, neck suddenly too weak to hold it up properly. “You’re beautiful, you know that? Annoying, but funny, but sarcastic, but beautiful.”

“Okay, do you wanna continue with that word vomit or are you gonna eat?” You cocked your brow, head tilting to match his posture. “Also, you’re not gonna flatter me by calling me beautiful. That shit doesn’t work on me anymore.”

It had slightly upset San knowing that you had said ‘anymore’--upset him knowing that there were others complimenting what his. But he couldn’t blame them. You really were beautiful in his eyes, even if he hadn’t thought so when he initially laid eyes on you.

“Don’t wanna eat.”

Sighing, you fixed yourself and picked up the bowl, mixing it as you blew to cool it down a little. “You’re not well, you gotta.”

He looked at you with big wide eyes and a small pout--and you couldn’t help but think it was a little cute. “Don’t wanna... unless you feed me?”

Okay, maybe it was a little less cute.

You exhaled, still stirring. “If I do, then you’ll have it all?” He put his hand over his heart, nodding with a sincere look on his face. “Fine then.” You lifted a spoon full of the bone broth to his lips, which he look into his mouth promptly--eyes glued to yours as he did so.

San hummed earnestly. “It’s...actually pretty good.”

Eye twitching, you lightly pushed him. “Why? Did you expect it to be shit?”

“I mean, I heard faint screaming and what I assume was swearing, which could have only come from you because I let everyone have a day off for today. So, yes, forgive my assumption that it would murder me,” he chuckled, opening his mouth once more, in which you carefully put more broth in.

“Be happy that I’m doing this much for you.”

“Because you feel guilty for getting me ill?” 

“No, it was your fault for not taking a hot shower when we came back, like I told you to--and your immune system for being so shit.”

“Okay, first of all, I can’t help it if my immune system wants to act out. I usually don’t get this ill.” You sent him a ludicrous look, continuing to feed him. “What? I really don’t!”

“Tell that to the rain.”

“I-- nevermind. But the second thing is that I offered to take a shower, but you said no!”

“That’s because you wanted to shower with me. No way in hell I was gonna let that happen!”

“You have the shower room for it!”

″Yeah, and I've already passed on my grievances to you yesterday about that hell-room!”

“Well, at least with me with you, you don’t have to worry about--what did you call it? Oh yeah--’Casper the fuckin’ Perverted Ghost’.”

“I’d take a ghost over you any day.”

“You won’t be saying that in a year.”

“Bold of you to assume that I won’t be choosing Casper over you. After all, I’ll be spending time with him as well.”

San scoffed, slightly amused but annoyed at the same time. “Are you actually trying to get me jealous of something that doesn’t exist?”

“Who said Casper doesn’t exist?”

“‘Cause ghosts don’t exist.”

“Tell that to Casper. You’ll find him in my shower room.”

Amidst the conversation, neither of you had noticed how the bowl and cup was now empty, their contents now residing in San’s stomach. But when you did, you got up--ready to walk to the kitchen and put everything away--until his very warm hands wrapped around your elbow gently.

“Please don’t go. You can put all that stuff away later. Just... stay with me.”

Sighing, you decided to listen to him for once an put the tray down before tightening the covers around him again--making him whine. “Noooooo, I wanna hold you.”

“What happened to not wanting me to get sick?”

“I’m ill, stop taking my muddled brain so seriously.”

Your brow cocked up, amused while you looked over his flushed face. “So you’d be willing get me sick too?”

Another pout formed on his face. “Of course not,” he mumbled. “You know what, you’re right. You can go.”

He avoided looking at you, instead fixing his saddened gaze at the window. Your natural scepticism told you that he was just faking it, only putting on an act to get your attention and affection. Yet, for the first time in a while, doubt began to seep in.

Maybe... maybe you could give in. Just this once.

Sighing, you slipped off your slippers and lay down beside him, an arm and leg wrapping around his body to bring him closer to you. A stronger tint of red covered his face as he looked at you, flabbergasted, as he tried to wriggle out of your touch. “What are you doing, you’ll get sick--”

“My immune system is much stronger than yours, I’ll live. Besides, you look cosy,” you muttered, nestling your face into the soft blanket. Even his blanket smelled like a garden in the rain, despite the amount of sweat that’s probably seeped into it.

Truly, he did, and you couldn’t deny that you wanted to hug the human burrito.

San had, instead, found you cute, cheek squished against the fabric surrounding him. Let his mind wonder to the image of you pressed against him--without the covers coming between you two.

Again.

Would you look this peaceful, sleeping on his chest, on a regular day--he thought.

“Are you just going to stare at me or are you gonna get some rest?” San could feel your voice vibrating through the covers despite the thickness of it.

“Hard not to stare at you, ya know?” he relaxed himself, despite feeling like he was baking beneath the blanket, and let his head rest on the pillow, cheek pressed against your forehead.

“Goddamn, you’re hot. Did you take any medicine while I was cooking?”

“Oh, Hun, there’s no cure for sexiness,” he coughed, a smirk pulling at his lips from the joke he made.

Another sigh was pulled from your throat as you got up to look for any painkillers he could take. Sane began to whine once more, rolling over since he could barely had enough energy to move with his arms when he was this tired--a full belly of warm broth and tea not helping what so ever.

“No--wait. Come back...”

“You need painkillers.”

With a straight face, he stared deep into your eyes, slightly glossy and sparkling under the dim sunlight coming into the room. “But you’re my painkiller.”

“Yeah, I’m going to get you some meds,” you deadpanned, scooping up the tray to leave the grown-ass mafia boss whining and rolling around, throwing a tantrum.

After some hard thinking and remembering that Wooyoung had given you his number, you called him up as you stood in the doorway, looking at San’s calm state of sleeping.

“My dear sister,” you heard a voice finally say over the phone, “what requires my assistance?”

“...Wooyoung?”

“Yes, dear sister?”

“What in the world has possessed you call me your ‘dear sister’?”

“Because you’re gonna be my friend’s wife some day, so I need to get used to seeing you as my sister-from-another-mister.”

Rubbing the bridge of your nose, you decided to not comment on his outlandish claims. “San’s not feeling well.”

“Is that why he sent us all away?” he laughed, somehow finding this situation amusing--since this is what his best friend tends to do; finds his weakened state as vulnerability, and if there was one thing San hated, it was feeling vulnerable.

But if he truly hated that, then why pursue this why you--when he know that it would force him to bring his guard down?

“I think so. No one was here when I came out of my room. Not the cooks or the maids or even the guards,” you said, taking another gander as if there might be someone roaming the halls to disprove your statement.

There wasn’t.

“Okay then. You want me to give you our private doctor’s number?”

Chuckling to yourself because you knew you were right (immediately confusing Wooyoung), you hummed, “yeah, that would be great.”

“O-Okay. Lemme text it to you. But do you need anything else? I know from experience San can get a little clingy when he’s not in his right mind,” he said, a boisterous giggle passing his lips.

“Nah, it’s fine.” You let your gaze brush over your captor’s figure. “Just send me the number and I’ll take it from there.”

“Okie dokie then, dear sister. I’ll leave you to deal with that enigma.”

“Alright, Wooyoung. See you tomorrow?”

“Call me ‘dear brother’, then maybe I’ll hang u--”

You shoved your phone into your back pocket after ending the call, thinking that it would take him a few minutes. Proving you wrong, the phone buzzes to life within the next ten seconds, Wooyoung sending you a couple of messages.

Wooyoung: Well that was a rude Wooyoung: No matter, I still love ya, dear sister Wooyoung: Probs should clarify that it’s platonic in case San sees it and gets all jelly Wooyoung: Anyway, here’s the number Wooyoung: XXXXXXXXXX

Y/N: Thanks, bro

Wooyoung: 🥺🥺 You called me ‘bro’

Smiling a little, you called the number--which had indeed taken you to a doctor’s clinic. After hearing of his exact temperature and other symptoms, the woman over the phone had concluded that it was as you first suspected--the common cold.

She told you to keep giving him painkillers and he should be fine within the week. Ending the call with a polite ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’, you left to get San more broth and medication, and hopefully you’d lay down with him again.

Which is exactly what you did for the rest of the day, opting to stay with him for the night too in order to make sure he really was okay. Thankfully, the worst of his fever had passed by the time morning came around and he was feeling much better.

You, however, were exhausted after looking after him, deep in your slumber as you shifted closer to San, who had broken free of his blanket prison and wrapped it around the two of you. The sunlight peeking through the window paled in comparison to the faint smile of glee San had adorned when he saw you.

Cheeked pressed up against his shoulder, and arm and a leg draped over his body like a koala clinging to a tree.

Just like he had thought the day before.

☕︎ Tag list: @little-precious-baby​​​​ , @sparklychangbin​​​​ , @shawkneecaps​ If you wanna be tagged, feel free to ask!

[plainbrunettelbl]

ABO (A) Togata Mirio & (A) Midoriya Izuku x (O) Reader Broken Bones and Notebooks

Word count: 3417

Warnings: None. 

ABO (A) Togata Mirio & (A) Midoriya Izuku x (O) Reader Broken Bones and Notebooks

Summary: Mirio finds himself in a hospital. Both Izuku and him start falling for the Omega doctor that takes care of him.

(Full credit to the gifs owner) 

🌻🥦-Izuku had gotten a call while at his agency that his mate was at the hospital. He dropped everything he was doing and rushed over. How did this happen? His mate’s quirk was built to evade attacks so why was his Alpha laying in a hospital bed sporting multiple casts and bandages? 

🌻🥦-His mate was still waiting for a private room to clear up so he was put in the ER. Izu wasted no time tearing open his mate’s curtain and rushing to his side. 

🌻🥦-“Mirio! What happened?” He cried, trying to give his mate a comforting hug without injuring him any further. 

🌻🥦-“It’s nothing, Zuku. I just got a little beat up is all.” The blond tried to smile despite how much pain his body was in. 

🌻🥦-At that moment the curtain pulled back once again. You walked in with a tray of food, wearing a white coat. A happy smile on your face present. You set the tray down on the removable table and put your hands on your hips. 

🌻🥦-“Hello, I’m Dr.L/N, I will be the one taking care of you until you are fit to go back home. I assume you are his mate?” You asked, turning towards the slightly distressed, green-haired Alpha. 

🌻🥦-Izuku blinked back his teary eyes and nodded. 

🌻🥦-“Yes, I’m his mate. Can you tell me how long he will be staying here? Are his injuries really severe?” Izuku frantically asked, worried how long he would have to be away from his mate at night. The thought of going home to a cold bed was already unsettling to him.

🌻🥦-“It seems he has three cracked ribs, a broken leg, a broken arm along with a few fingers. He suffered a blow to the head but his scans came back normal so we are not too worried about that.” You informed, looking at his chart that you plucked from the end of his bed. 

🌻🥦-“Usually he would have to stay here for a few months in order to fully recover but since I am taking over you should be out within three weeks or so.” You hummed, eyeing his X-rays. 

🌻🥦-Mirio beamed at his mate from behind all of his bandages. “See babe! I will be out here in no time.” 

🌻🥦-Izuku leaned down to kiss his mates bruised cheek before turning back to you with a curious look. 

🌻🥦-“How come he is going to recover faster than normal?” He questioned, smoothing a hand down his mate’s encased shoulder. 

🌻🥦-“My quirk of course! I am only assigned to pro-heroes most of the time. Since your mate fits the bill, I am here to help him have a speedy recovery.” You beamed moving the tray of food on the mobile table closer to the pair. 

🌻🥦-“My quirk is unique. It allows me to heal a person by feeding them the food I make. It takes a little time since the food has to digest and distribute my healing nutrients all around your body. Since you have so many injuries it will take a while but you will get there.” You revealed a small bowl of chicken broth. 

🌻🥦-You had made it yourself this morning. Your quirk wouldn’t work if you didn’t make the food within twenty-four hours. So freezing your meals and giving them out to patients wouldn’t work. 

🌻🥦-You were assigned to pro heroes because of this. The higher-ups thought it would be best to focus all your efforts on recovering pro heroes rather than handling multiple civilian patients. 

🌻🥦-“This is it? Just chicken broth?” Mirio slightly whined, his Alpha pouting at the lack of meat. 

🌻🥦-“If you can keep this chicken broth down till tomorrow evening I will see what I can do about getting you some real food for dinner.” You grinned, trying not to snicker at his pouting face. 

🌻🥦-These men might be pro heroes and Alpha’s but despite their intimidating status you Omega didn’t mind their presence at all. It was like she was standing around with an old pair of friends. 

🌻🥦-Maybe it was their calming scents. The blond had a warm scent that reminded you of sun rays reflecting off the ocean. The green-haired Alpha gave off a scent of wet soil and sweet sage. 

🌻🥦-“Thank you so much, Doctor. I’ll be sure to watch him so he doesn’t gulp it down in one swallow. His stomach is an endless pit.” The freckled Alpha lovingly looked down at his battered mate. 

🌻🥦-His Alpha felt a little calmer than when he walked in for some reason but he just assumed it was because he knew his mate was in good hands. It had nothing to do with the sweet scent of fresh bread and ripe fruit coming from the smiling doctor. 

🌻🥦-He brushed it off. His Alpha was just happy his ray of sunshine was okay. 

***

🌻🥦-A few days had passed and Mirio was already looking a little better. The first thing your quirk healed was his head. He was even more bright and smiley now that his headaches were gone. 

🌻🥦-He had proven that he could hold down liquids so he was approved for solid foods. You were sure his Alpha was very excited about the news. 

🌻🥦-You knocked before walking into his room, he had been upgraded to a private room and moved out of the ER. Izuku was sat at his mate’s side writing away in his notebook. You walked in with two trays and a happy smile. 

🌻🥦-“Hello, good morning!” You hummed, setting down the two trays on in front of Miro and Izuku. 

🌻🥦-“Hey, Y/N!” Mirio beamed, sending you a dazzling smile. 

🌻🥦-“Morning, Y/N,” Izuku replied softly not quite looking you in the eye, still not used to talking to females even though he has been a pro hero for years now. 

🌻🥦-“I brought you some pancakes and bacon. There is enough for you too Izuku.” You hummed revealing two plates to feed the Alphas. The tray was nearly overflowing with food but Alphas had big appetites so you knew they would clean the plates no problem. 

🌻🥦-“O-oh you don’t have to do that Y/N. I am sure another patient needs it more than I do.” He blushed, refusing the food. 

🌻🥦-“Nonsense. I know that the new mission you went on took a lot out of you. Plus I have seen you favoring your right hand. I hope you didn’t strain it too much.” You said, giving him a knowing look. 

🌻🥦-He flushed and pulled the food closer to him without further complaint. 

🌻🥦-“How did you get him to do that Y/N? Usually, I have to force him to rest and recover after a mission.” Mirio said, amazed you got his Alpha to comply so easily. 

🌻🥦-“An Omega secret.” You winked, smiling at the two before leaving. 

🌻🥦-Both Alpha’s left in a daze while they ate their breakfast. 

***

🌻🥦-“Come on! We have been looking for an Omega even before the accident. We want an Omega to complete us and she could be the one. Why not ask her out and see how it goes?” Mirio asked, his blue eyes shifting around trying to meet his lover’s emerald eyes. 

🌻🥦-“She is just nice to us because it’s her job. We have no reason to believe she will actually be interested in us once you are out of the hospital.” Izuku let out a small huff, his Alpha was telling him to pursue the Omega doctor but his self-doubt and nervousness were taking over.   

🌻🥦-Izuku’s eyes shifted all over his notebooks page, trying to distract himself from the conversation and the warm flush creeping up his face. 

🌻🥦-“We don’t know until we try. We don’t have to ask her now but just think about it, will you? This near-death experience really made me realize that I want to pursue everything my heart desires. I want to come home to my Alpha and my Omega. Maybe a few pups as well.” Mirio grinned, picturing the sweet scene in his head. 

🌻🥦-His Alpha was already bouncing with joy at the idea. He was already picturing your eyes looking up at him after a long day. 

🌻🥦-They had been on a few courting dates in search of a third partner but they all had ended with neither Alpha satisfied. His Alpha was telling him you were their missing piece. 

🌻🥦-“I’ll think about it, Alpha. We shouldn’t rush things though. You still need to recover. No Omega is gonna want to go on courting dates with us if I have to wheel you in.” Izuku laughed, picturing him rolling in his mate, at a coffee shop, sporting two casts.  

🌻🥦-“Really? I think it will add to my charm. No one can reject these baby blues when I am weak and injured.” He pouted his lips and widened his eyes at his lover. 

🌻🥦-Izuku giggled before leaning over and pecking a kiss on his lips.

🌻🥦-“I guess I can agree with that.” 

***

🌻🥦-“I brought lunch! It has plenty of meat so your Alpha will be quite pleased.” You grinned, opening up the door, Mirio was propped up on the bed. 

🌻🥦-You smiled at the blonde before noticing the greenette was absent. 

🌻🥦-“Where is Izuku? It’s odd not seeing him by your side.” You asked, setting up the tray in front of him. 

🌻🥦-“He had to go to the office for a while. He has been putting off a few things to stay with me so now he has to go in for a bit and catch up.” He said, sending you a big smile, the tinge of sadness was lurking in his eyes. 

🌻🥦-You couldn’t have your best patient getting sad on you. 

🌻🥦-“What do you call a pig that does karate?” You asked, lifting the top of the tray. 

🌻🥦-“What?” He lifted a blond eyebrow. 

🌻🥦-“A pork chop.” You replied, cutting your hand through the air. 

🌻🥦-You were glad your quirk had healed up his ribs or the belt of laughter really would have done a number on him. His loud chuckles was a welcomed sound, the slight sparkle in his eyes even more. 

🌻🥦-“I didn’t know my doctor was also a comedian.” He breathed, clutching his chest with his uninjured arm. 

🌻🥦-“I am many things.” You winked, pushing his plate towards him and setting in the chair by his bed, where Izuku usually sits. 

🌻🥦-“You are staying?” His blond brow went up again, his good hand already picking up a fork. 

🌻🥦-“I have to make sure you don’t eat your whole meal in two bites. I remember your mate saying something about your bottomless stomach. I can’t have my patient choking on me now.” You laughed, pulling out a small notebook from your white coat. 

🌻🥦-You would work on tweaking and editing some of your recipes. 

🌻🥦-Mirio’s Alpha was already purring upon hearing you were gonna stay and keep him company. His human half was delighted as well. 

***

🌻🥦-He had finished his lunch and his mate was still not back. His Alpha was pouting at his other half being gone but something else was bothering him too. It had been a few days since Izuku had given him a good scrub down and his dirty hair was starting to bother him. 

🌻🥦-He was known to take multiple showers a day when he was well. Now that he was injured and couldn’t exactly take as many baths as he pleased he was feeling off. 

🌻🥦-“Y/N could you wash my hair? I can wait until Izuku got here if you feel uncomfortable doing it.” He said, look at the Omega sitting by his bed. 

🌻🥦-“Mirio, I’m a Doctor, washing someone’s hair is the least uncomfortable thing I can do to a patient. Would Izuku be comfortable with it though? I know how territorial Alpha pairs can get.” You questioned, tilting your head. 

🌻🥦-“I am sure he would understand. You don’t have to worry about him going all Alpha on you. We wouldn’t have been going on courting dates to find our third partner if either one of us was easily jealous.” He smiled, strategically letting you know they were poly. 

🌻🥦-For some reason, your Omega purred happily at the news. You shoved her aside and professionally nodded your head and smiled. 

🌻🥦-“Well, that is good to hear. Would you like to do it here or in the bathroom?” You asked, taking off your white coat, you didn’t want to get it wet. 

🌻🥦-“The bathroom. I would like to keep my bed dry.” He grinned, reaching to grab his crutches leaning up against the bed. 

🌻🥦-He had his head in the sink while you intertwined your fingers in his hair and massaged the shampoo in. You took note of is soft hair the moment your fingers threaded through it. 

🌻🥦-You Omega was already sighing in bliss at the texture. Omega’s loved soft and silky things. 

🌻🥦-It seems you weren’t the only one enjoying the feeling. The poor Alpha was putty in your hands. If the chair he was sitting in disappeared he would slump to the ground. 

🌻🥦-You had a soft spot for the Alpha so you continued to massage his head even though the shampoo was already worked in well enough. Izuku walked in while you were doing so, he paused at the bathroom door. 

🌻🥦-Mirio had told you his mate would be fine with it but that didn’t stop your Omega from letting out a tiny chirp. Izuku had been nothing but nice to you. You were a bit embarrassed at your reaction but you knew of about Alphas and their aggressiveness when it came to someone interfering with their bond.  

🌻🥦-During your residency, you had treated a few cases of the unlucky ones caught flirting with a person’s Alpha. 

🌻🥦-Mirio had immediately opened his eyes at the sound. He sat up fast and seemed ready to fight off whoever it was that made you chirp. You didn’t know how he was gonna do that with two casts but it made your Omega swoon. 

🌻🥦-Once he saw it was just his mate he released his breath. 

🌻🥦-Izuku widens his eyes in surprise and put his hands up to show you he meant no harm. 

🌻🥦-“Y-you’re fine! I’m not mad! I know it is your job.” He rapidly said, taking a step back. 

🌻🥦-“You sure do know how to make an entrance, Zuku.” Mirio laughed, leaning his head back in the sink bowl. 

🌻🥦-“I’m sorry, Izuku. I know you wouldn’t hurt me but I have seen way too many Alpha attacks with my occupation.” You nervously bit your lip. 

🌻🥦-He is a Hero and you chirped in fear at him! You felt a flush crawl up your cheeks. 

🌻🥦-“It’s fine, Y/N. I understand.” He reassured, clutching a familiar notebook in his hand. “I’ll just wait by the bed.” 

🌻🥦-You nodded before getting back to scrubbing Mirio’s soft hair. You rinse and conditioned his hair quickly. When you were done you wrapped a towel around his neck and lead him back to his bed. 

🌻🥦-Izuku looked up from writing and gave you a small smile. You flash him one back before taking the towel around his mate’s neck and began drying his hair.

🌻🥦-The Alpha was in a state of bliss again. Izuku would be lying if he said he wasn’t a tiny bit jealous. He wanted to feel your soft hands against his hair too.

🌻🥦-“What are you always writing in that notebook of yours Izuku?” You asked, talking your eyes off the blonde for a second and giving him a curious look. 

🌻🥦-“I have been asked to review a few students from UA and come up with way they could possibly improve their quirk. I am just going over the notes I made and writing down what I think could help them.” He said, lifting his notebook and showing you a sketch of a student’s quirk and small paragraphs going over their strengths and weakness. 

🌻🥦-You were done drying Mirio’s hair so you walked around the bed and peered at it over his shoulder. This student had an ice quirk and could only make the ice stay frozen for a limited amount of time. 

🌻🥦-Izuku had draw lumps of ice that the student was only able to manifest. They reminded you of huge hail balls. It said that the student was working on their arm strength to be able to throw them at opponents. 

🌻🥦-“Mmm. What if the student could shape their ice into a morning-star ball? It would be harder for a villain to ignore if icy needles were stuck in them rather than a chunk of ice bouncing off them.” You said, tapping your chin. 

🌻🥦-Izuku was star struck looking up at you. He was glad you were peering up at the ceiling in thought, not noticing the look of pure awe on his face. When he had gone out on dates with Mirio all the Omega’s seemed to only like him because of his hero status. 

🌻🥦-None of them cared all to much when he started rambling about certain heroes or making notes in the tiny notebook he carried around in his pocket. They certainly didn’t engage and offer any ideas to him. 

🌻🥦-They kinda just ignored him while he scribbled away and focused their attention on Mirio more. 

🌻🥦-He was completely bewitched. A quick flash of him and you cuddled on the couch going over his notes in his notebook while you offer advice every now and then. You asked him about what you could do to add to your meals to help improve them, also taking notes in a small notebook.

🌻🥦-“That is a great idea, Y/N. I’ll write that down. Thank you.” He blushed, quickly scribbling down your idea. 

🌻🥦-He might have been a little hesitant before but now his Alpha was howling at the idea of asking you out. He shot his mate a look and instantly knew his mate was already on board.

🌻🥦-Now they just had to find the right time to ask you out. 

***

🌻🥦-It was Mirio’s final day at the hospital. You were bringing him his discharge papers. You knocked on the familiar door and walked in. Your Omega was already whining at you. She didn’t want that Alpha’s to leave.

🌻🥦-But the Alpha was as good as new. He had gotten off his casts already and the only things left on his body were a few light bruises and scratches. 

🌻🥦-His mate stood by him, helping him put on a cornflower blue jacket. A black bag on the bed told you that he was already packed up and ready to go. They both turned to look at you when you walked in. 

🌻🥦-Mirio was sitting on the bed with his back facing the door so he had to strain his neck to look over. You could have sworn a sparkle was present in both of their eyes when they looked at you. 

🌻🥦-You didn’t want to jump to conclusions so you convinced yourself it was admiration for helping the blue-eyed Alpha get better. 

🌻🥦-“It seems our time has come to an end boys. I can say that besides the corny jokes, you were one of my best patients yet.” You grinned, thinking of all the cheesy jokes he told you. 

🌻🥦-He said he had to outdo your joke by making you laugh harder than he did. So far all he got out of you was a few snickers and chuckles. He made it his life’s mission to see you wheeze in laughter.

🌻🥦-“I don’t think so, Izuku and I were thinking, would you like to come out to dinner with us? We feel like it is time for us to feed you for a change.” He offered, his smile still on his face but you could see the slight nervousness on his face. 

🌻🥦-This offer was clearly more than a simple thanks. Poor Izuku was fidgeting where he stood, not looking you in the eye. 

🌻🥦-Your heart warmed at the two anxious Alphas. 

🌻🥦-“Sure. I would love to.” You agreed, your Omega yipping with joy. 

🌻🥦-You couldn’t wait to see how this turned out. 

This is my first time writing for this pair so feel free to tell me how you feel about them! Thank you for the support. Please reblog and leave a like. Both really help keep me motivated to write. 💛💚

[thatlittlered]

Vows | Chapter Four

Summary: A faithful dog or a broken man… Whatever the case, Sandor has taken vows he does not intend on breaking.

   Like the beautiful bodies of those who died before growing old,

   sadly shut away in sumptuous mausoleum,

   roses by the head, jasmine at the feet -

   so appear the longings that have passed

   without being satisfied, not one of the granted

   a single night of pleasure, or one of its radiant mornings.

 Longings ~ Constantine P. Cavafy

◇─◇──◇───◇────◇────◇───◇──◇─◇ 

Series Masterlist.

When he wakes, the room is dimly lit, a couple of flickering candles almost burnt down to the wick. Everything seems to be covered in smoke and the foul, acrid odor of tallow.

There are stains of dried ale all over his tunic, the watery kind he’s been downing for days, and the straw bed barely beats the comfort of hardwood floors, but he got what he paid for and he’s not planning on wasting every last coin so that the Stark girl will enjoy her privacy.

There’s heavy pounding at the door, the voices outside rising to a crescendo of rage before a man barges inside the room, short and drunk as any, followed by the stocky woman who robs Sandor blind every night for a pint of ale and broth you wouldn’t feed a pig.

“You got the money yet? We gave ya two days, s’time to pay up.”

His head is pounding as he rises from the bed, body aching in every way imaginable and hand twitching at the thought of silencing the scum before him.

The man’s hands get a hold of Sandor’s shirt, and the woman gasps. when he reaches for his sword, heavy metal pulling at his muscles.

“Listen here, pest, you ever let yer filthy hands near me again, you’ll be searching for them outside the city walls. Have I made myself clear?”

“Aye, ser.”

Sandor grunts, half satisfaction, half pain when the rage inside him fades.

“Don’t let me see you again.”

They both scurry away like frightened mice, filthy insects running from his boot.

The entire place stinks of wine and piss, dirt everywhere around him, and suddenly he longs for the comfort of his own chambers. Dark curtains that spare him from painful sunlight, fine selections of wine and peaceful silence, all things that made it his personal heaven until a certain northern girl invaded his life.

Now everything in it smells of rosewater.

They are no longer his quarters. The she-wolf took over with her many braids, silken dresses, and glassy Stark eyes that he would kill for, without knowing why. In her new lair, she takes the time to heal and lick her wounds. As wolves do, away from the eyes of others in fear of proving weak and falling prey to bigger predators.

Sandor allows it.

Within the hour, he’s ready to leave.

A little girl helps him dress, meekly passing him pieces of his armor despite him telling her there’s no need. She’s small and bruised all over, an abstract sculpture of bones that has seen and felt too much. He only lets her help when he sees the fear in her eyes and suspects that should he send her back, she might receive a beating.

When he’s strapping up, she takes the chance to shove her tiny hands into his pockets, quick and smooth as if she’s been trained for this. She walks away with two copper pennies.

He allows it.

◇─◇──◇───◇────◇────◇───◇──◇─◇  

When he reaches the room, the door is ajar and he’s almost angry at how you never fail to make yourself vulnerable. There are threats left and right and you might as well be welcoming them. He moves to knock, he really does, but the wind beats him to it, pushing the door enough so that he might get a glimpse at you.

Suddenly, making his presence known doesn’t seem as appealing.

Your hair lies long and loose, obscuring the lightness of your dress, yet allowing glimpses of skin on your arms in a southern fashion. For once no plaits adorn it and it hangs in all its northern glory – a sharp contrast.

The handmaiden floats around you, hands curling in your locks as she runs a brush through them, tugging a little too painfully at every knot. He supposes a Stark girl’s hair is not made for this.

‘Any word from your brother, my lady?”

You hum and for a moment he deems it the most peaceful sound he’s ever heard from your lips, but it’s sorrowful. You accepted your fate long ago.

“Is there ever? I’m afraid the king is much too occupied with the newest impending threat. I suppose my brother is too small an enemy to consider when Stannis Baratheon is approaching the city.”

Nira gasps, almost dropping the brush and Sandor laughs to himself from where he stands behind the door. The maiden is older than you, yet you outsmart her in so many ways, you might not be quite the little bird he thought you were.

“Do you truly believe it, my lady, that Stannis will reach the capital?”

“Has the world ever known a Baratheon who failed to succeed in their quest? He will reach the city, Nira, for that rest assured. What happens after that, remains to be seen.”

She moves to face you, resting on her knees to grab your hands with a familiarity that surprises Sandor.

His lady wife is good at making friends.

“Even so, the King’s army will hold. The Lannister troops are already flooding the city, Lord Tywin made sure of it. No harm will come to you, my lady.”

Your own hand raises to her face, a gentle cradle of her cheek – a mother’s touch, the kind he’s long forgotten.

“I have no fear of Stannis. My greatest enemies surround me every day.”

“And yet, it seems that your lord husband’s presence has discouraged them.”

“All lions quiet before attacking their prey.”

The door slams then, the force of wind meets the force of man. Nira rushes to check, always mindful of her lady’s safety, but there’s no one there.

Still, the following days pass in relative silence, mindful of curious ears that creep behind closed doors. Nira has seen enough to know the crown has eyes and ears in every corner. Instead, there’s quiet singing when handling your hair and hushed whispers about childhood stories. Everything blurs with your drinking, honey mead, and berries melting on your tongue.

Sandor Clegane is nowadays quite literally, your shadow.

For a man who’s meant to guard the King, he seems to prefer keeping an eye on you. In the gardens, buried amongst roses and greenery, you can sense his presence. In the quarters you’re supposed to share, no one dares enter but Nira and yet, every now and then, you can hear heavy steps in the hallway.

He never addresses you and you feign ignorance in fear of him stopping.

Nira’s words keep coming back to you; he’s your best chance at safety in this city.

  ◇─◇──◇───◇────◇────◇───◇──◇─◇  

Footsteps follow on your trail, the same sound of armor clinking with every step, albeit more graceful, less weighty. You’re awfully used to your loyal guard stomping around court, he makes no effort to conceal his presence.

A smile tugs at your lips, you’re starting to understand Sandor Clegane.

“You can always talk to me, you know.”

A hand appears from nowhere and tightens on your wrist, white-knuckled, strong. You turn to fight it but find your feet dragging along the marble as you lose your balance. He pins you to the wall so effortlessly.

“I’m well aware, Lady Stark.”

His breath stinks and he makes a point of shoving his face as close to yours as possible, all in a way that makes your legs go weak and your stomach churn. No fear, you remind yourself. He’s no big predator, he’s but a snake, lucky enough to find a mouse on the ground. Others would crush him.

“Ser Meryn, I would ask that you remove your hands.”

Gloved fingers grasp your chin, bound to leave bruises.

“I must admit, my Lady, that for a woman broken in by the Hound himself, you seem entirely too merry. Tell me, how is your dog treating you?”

Your body recoils, almost melting to the wall in an effort to avoid the proximity.

“I would also ask that you refer to my husband by his title.”

He laughs, such a disgusting sound.

“You’re in no position to ask for things, little lady.”

“And if you don’t let her go, you’ll be in no position to walk when I’m done with you. Your head will be hanging in the throne room if I have it my way.”

Your gaze turns to Sandor, familiar heavy footsteps approaching the scene. His sword is drawn, his eyes are murderous and for the first time, you realize the day might not end with your blood on the floor.

Trant laughs again and it’s a death wish.

“Now, now, Hound, it’s always good to share.”

“I don’t share, especially not with cunts like you. What’s wrong, Trant? I thought you liked them younger.”

His nose moves to graze against your skin, so close to your lips, tears gather in your eyes.

A friend of Robb’s had stolen your first kiss, pinned you against a stack of hey and touched places you would never have allowed him to. Your brothers beat him to the ground the next day.

Sandor Clegane won’t avenge your honor. He’ll chop off anyone’s hands the moment they touch you.

“I like them broken first and foremost. I’m sure you’ve taken care of that.”

White knuckles from clenching his fist too hard, and gritted teeth from the effort to keep his composure, Sandor’s large form exudes a burning animosity. His face is red with suppressed rage, and when Trant’s fingers make their way towards your chest, everything snaps inside him.

His sword never meets the hideous flesh of your attacker, but his fist does. A blow to the jaw, powerful enough to make the cracking sound echo in the hallway. Then Sandor’s hands are pressing his face into the wall, a great force overpowered by one greater. It gives you the chance to escape.

Your attacker seems light-headed, gripping his shattered nose where blood runs plenty. There’s stillness on both sides. If hatred was visible, the air would be all shades of red, scarlet and ruby, like the stains on Sandor’s glove. Then suddenly movement, so much force in every hit.

Sandor rains blows onto the man as if he means to smash him into the very earth and there’s barely any resistance. He doesn’t want him dead, he wants him smashed, obliterated, nothing left to bury.

The bloodied rat on the ground manages a hit on Sandor’s face and it only works to enrage him further.

You’ve seen him fight before in the tournament, moves sudden but precise when in duel, you’ve heard stories of men who’ve faced his sword, but this is different. It’s raw violence and force, uncharacteristic rage fueling him.

And then he stops.

He looks at you, always with his good side.

“Go back to yer room.”

You don’t move an inch. You know what this means, you know he’s not stopping and suddenly you’re but a youngling again, running around the training ground with Robb and Jon on your heels. Your father calls for them, forbids you from following.

At night you learn about the man whose head your father took before their eyes, a sight he sheltered you from.

You won’t let Sandor do the same.

Trant’s blood will be in your hands, whether you witness it or not. And so will your lord husband’s when word gets out that he pummeled a fellow Kingsguard member to death. You won’t allow it.

“I said, go back to yer room and lock the door. Don’t let anyone in until I tell ye.”

“I will if you come with me.”

The man scoffs, blood dripping from his fingers.

“Don’t question me, girl. I’ve got to finish some business.”

“If you stay, we both know it will be the end of you, one way or another. The things that Joffrey will do-“

“I’m not the one who needs protecting.”

“You will be if you don’t walk away. Just walk away, Sandor.”

It’s the first time he’s heard his name in a while, first time ever from your lips. Of course, he notices.

“I walk away now, he’ll do it again. I stay here and finish what I started, there’s one less cunt in this fuckin’ city.”

“And is that worth your head?”

He stares at you, so openly, his eyes still screaming murder, yet you refuse to relent.

All it takes a swing of his sword, a single move to push it in Trant’s heart while he’s gasping for air.

He turns to him, spitting on that mess of a face he’s created, branding his work, and then walks right past you, grabbing your arm right where the other man had. It hurts but you don’t dare tell him.

You let him drag you all the way to your chambers, smaller feet catching up with his strides.

 ◇─◇──◇───◇────◇────◇───◇──◇─◇ 

 ◇─◇──◇───◇────◇────◇───◇──◇─◇  

He latches the door and sheds his gloves, then as many pieces of his armor as he can. He looks like he’s struggling to breathe and you worry. His face is flushed, angry scars growing paler every moment.

He reaches for the pitcher of mead on your table, a mistake. It’s awfully sweet, disgustingly so, and he spits it out the moment it meets his tongue, knocking the whole thing over in an effort to push it away.

“That’s not fucking wine.”

You move across the room, his hunched form still in the corner of your eye. His face is buried in his hands and he rubs desperately, most likely because the rush of blood in his head feels impossibly warm. That’s when you notice his bare knuckles, cut and bruised and bloodied all over.

You reach for the bottle of wine under the table, one he put there himself, and place it across him where you sit.

“You’re hurt.”

“Just shut up for a while, alright?”

You do as he asks, but your hands still reach for his. Of course, he pulls away.

“Are you fucking deaf?”

You smile, “I’m not talking.”

Sandor’s lips quirk at that. He watches you wipe away the blood, as gently as if tending to a child.

“It’s nothing.”

You only hum in response, following his previous order. The rug is wet and cold against the skin, relieving pain he has not felt yet. For once he doesn’t fight it.

“You should have let me kill ‘im.”

“I told you, the King would have your head.”

He snorts and it’s a sound you’re getting used to, “What it’s to you?”

“I have no wish for blood to be spilled in my name. Especially not yours.”

“You think of it so nobly, little bird. The blood is only in the hands of those who spill it. Guilt will get you killed, sooner or later.”

“So I’m not to hold myself accountable if you’re accused of attacking a fellow member of Kingsguard?”

The quirk falls from his lips.

“I’m not fucking Kingsguard.”

“You guard the King, do you not?”

You make him laugh and a sense of pride fills you. You gather it’s not something many can do.

Silence washes over you as you tend to his cuts, taking the bottle from his hands to pour wine on them plentiful.

“What the fuck are ye doing?

“I’ll get you more wine, but first I need to dress these.”

“They’re fine as they are.”

The look on your face gives away that you’re not backing down. Damn northern stubbornness.

You wrap his knuckles gently, a torn piece of fabric drenched in wine to prevent infections, the way your father taught you. You suppose it stings but Sandor makes no move to suggest so. When it’s done, you consider it, making sure there’s still blood flow. Your lips fall gently on the makeshift bandage in an almost kiss.

He pulls away like it burns.

“I want to thank you.”

“There’s no need, stupid girl.”

“Must you always interrupt me, my lord?”

“’m not your lord.”

“You’re my lord husband and I must address you some way. If not by title, then by name, but if you please, let me finish.”

He grows quiet.

“I want to thank you, Sandor, for everything, but I beg you, don’t fight for me. With what you did to Ser Meryn, all that Joffrey could do to you… I’m good as dead without you.”

There it is, your cards all on the table.

“I won’t turn into some cunt-proper lord just so your noble heart won’t be plagued with guilt, girl.”

“I never asked you to, I only ask that you don’t endanger yourself, certainly not for me.”

The man grunts and turns his gaze from you, which you take as a sign of agreement.

The table shakes when he moves to stand.

You grab his hand again, this time holding it in place.

“One more thing.”

“Spit it out.”

“I would be forever grateful if you could move back in. It’s my understanding that you’ve established a stay elsewhere, perhaps somewhere far more convenient…” He wants to laugh, the rat-filled room where he stays coming to mind, “…but I would feel much safer if you stayed here from now on.”

You can’t help but observe him, the deepest in thought you’ve ever seen him - good hand rubbing his beard.

“I can arrange for a second bed, or I can take the floor, it’s no issue. I only ask that you don’t leave.”

“Is fear worth your reputation, little bird? People will talk.”

“We are wed before the gods, let them talk. There are few things left for them to say about me anyway.”

At morning Nira arrives to find her lady awake, drinking at sunlight. A snoring lord continues his sleep undisturbed, boots half perched on the table while he rests, long and wide, on the uncomfortable armchair.

The stench of wine and sweat mixes with rosewater.

Her lady smiles.

“We are going to need another mattress.”

 ◇─◇──◇───◇────◇────◇───◇──◇─◇   

Tags: @love-and-marij @blackwires @captainbuckyboobear@shxrrybomb @well-aint-that-strange @sunflowersandstringlights @bckybrnesrp @thatcutewerewolf @fallatyourfeet @immortalmurphy @iicelland @dorned @modblink @awolfhasnoname @maxinikins @raindancemaggi3 @rainyforrest @evelynfreakinaddams @cleganegirl @wildmaelstrom @ciccithedreamer @simplybrandielaine @captainmarvelfuckedmeup @the-anchored-sailor-girl @tessimagines @valhalla-ally @cha0tic-neutral @slytherh0e @sister-beehive @doitliketennant @anita-e-taylor @emithefangirl @fandomsfanman @iceinhermind @67impalagirl13 @imalittlebean @podthesquiz @scarstrashywritings @missespiruette @homesoutofhuman @simplybrandielaine @ixybirdflower @0midnightheart @jordancollier133  @footballiskillingme @podthesquiz @queendemonfangirl @my-bitch-loki @moviemaniac888 @mythical-clegane @sugasheart @thehoundsraven @imaginecrushes @all-cool-usernames-taken @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @paradoxical--intentions @pokengirl2 @always-hid @lavieenrosetta @treblebeth @just-dreaming-for-now @lokimysunandstars

Once again, I’m sorry for the names Tumblr wouldn’t let me tag.

Let me know if you want in or out the taglist!

[softlyblues]

Familiar Wanted, (reads the notice, placed in the newspaper by Clement almost a week ago) Must be Polit and know how to make Potions . pleaze no undead as i have an alergie. all interested reply to The Cottage, The Woods, down the Shadowy Lane . Thank you yours faithfully Clementine Witch. 

Clement looks from her notice to the line of animals outside her door, all patiently mewling and barking and howling and hissing and in one case, screaming. (A guinea-pig inside an exercise wheel, rust around the metal bit.) 

She hadn’t expected this. 

Clement has been a witch for a month and a half, and she’s almost got the whole thing down pat except for the familiar. She sent off for the dribbly candles and the skulls (they were in a catalogue) and she uses her mother’s broomstick, which is perfectly good and hardly falls down at all, and she’s very good at potions and very good at making tea and sympathetic noises, which is most of what being a witch is when you get right down to the bones of it. All she needs is an animal companion to trot at her heels when she’s marching through the woods, because although she isn’t frightened - of course she isn’t! - it would be nice. To have a little kitten, perhaps, or a dog. She once knew a witch who kept a snake around her neck as a sort of decoration that also gave her helpful advice. 

She takes a deep breath, and looks at the notebook full of questions she’d planned to quiz her potential familiars with, and then puts the kettle over the fire. She ties her curly hair away from her face, which does almost nothing to stop the amount of it in her eyes, and then she opens the door and asks the first animal in the queue to come in, please. 

He is a cat. His name is Jeffrey, and he puts his paw out for her to shake, and with his tail he sweeps a bundle of pages that make up his references. 

“Thank you,” Clement says politely. “Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?”

+

Question 1. How long have you bin familiarising for and do your other witches think you ar Any Good? 

Jeffrey sticks his nose in the air and invites her to look at the references, which Clement does. They’re all very impressive, and they’re all in the same handwriting. 

“Who wrote this one?” Clement asks, pointing to a quote which says: ‘Jeffrey is the best familiar I’ve ever had!’ - Queen Titania of the Fairies. 

Jeffrey sniffs. “Can’t you read? Queen Titania of the Fairies.”

“Only she’s got the same writing as,” Clement runs a finger under the words as she reads, “As ‘The Hoor of Babylon’? Was she a witch, too? And - and is this Artemis? Did you really pretend to be the familiar of the actual Artemis?” 

+

Question 2. Do you have any magic or Trix you would like to show me? 

The next animal Clement invites inside, once Jeffrey has stalked off in a huff, is a very friendly rabbit who introduces herself as Georgia. “I must say,” Georgia burbles, hopping through the doorway almost vibrating with excitement, “I was absolutely enchanted as soon as I saw your ad. I knew I had to apply.”

“You seem very enthusiastic,” Clement helps Georgia up onto the seat, and offers her a carrot bun. “I’m looking for someone to go all in. I’m only new, myself.”

“Oh! Well, perfect! And thank you,” Georgia holds the cake between both front paws and nibbles with determination. “This is a wonderful cake. Brilliant, excellent.”

Clement smiles - she does pride herself on her baking, after all, and asks the question. “Uh - do you have any magic or tricks you would like to show me?”

“I can vanish into hats, you know,” Georgia says. “It’s a family tradition.”

“Oh!” Clement claps her hands, and sweeps her pointed hat off her head. “Can you show me?”

Georgia shows her. 

+

Question 3. What is your opinonion on Witches in the community e.g. what do you think they should be. 

After an hour passes, and Clement realises that the rabbit only said she could vanish, not that she could reappear, the young witch is forced to open the door a third time and admit another hopeful familiar. This time, a huge yellow labrador noses his way through the door. 

“My name is Clementine,” Clement bows - witches never curtsey - to the dog. She gets the feeling he’s a pedigree. “Pleased to meet you.”

The labrador stands on his back legs and puts his paws on her shoulders, licking her on one cheek and then the other - the traditional greeting of the gentry dogs of old. “Very pleased to meet your acquaintance, Clementine,” he says, smiling. “My name is Lord Bently. I’m responding to your advertisement in the newspaper.”

Clement offers him some broth with real chicken bones in, which Lord Bently accepts with both dignity and wild excitement. She’s getting a bit tired, herself, and pours a much-needed cup of tea while he eats; she’s wondering if this time he’ll turn out to be what she’s looking for. 

“Oh, I’m all for witches,” Lord Bently says, sitting neatly in a chair with his paws folded over themselves. “I think they have a lot to offer, in the community. Why, my old master even employed a witch, and gave her a room in the servants quarters, which I thought was jolly good for her. After all - you need to keep a hand in, don’t you?”

Politely, but firmly, Clement tells him they might have a fundamental clash of ideals. 

+

The sun has long since risen to the top of the sky and is falling again, almost dipping below the horizon, and Clementine Witch is sitting at her kitchen table with her head in her hands. She’s full of tea and ill-will towards most of the animal kingdom in general, and also very unpleasantly full of baked goods she wishes she hadn’t cooked. Her cottage smells of wet dog instead of cinnamon, and all of her plants growing up the walls look a little depressed; cottages reflect their inhabitants, most of the time, and Clement is not in a very good mood. 

Just then, there’s a timid little knock on the door, which has been firmly bolted shut after the last one left. (A snake who said she would probably strangle anyone who was too annoying.)

“Um - hello?” Comes a damp voice through the wood. “Is this - does Clementine Witch live here? Only I met a few animals in the forest and they said-”

Clement storms over to the door and wrenches it open. “Listen,” she all but yells, and then she realises she’s telling off the empty air. 

“Down here,” comes the voice. 

Clement looks down. 

It’s a very small toad wearing a straw bonnet, smiling nervously under the brim of it, waving with one little paw, her four fingers wrapped around the newspaper Clement advertised in. (Small amphibian edition, obviously.) “Hello,” the toad says nervously, “Are you Clementine? My name is - um, Winifred. I hope I have the right place.”

“I’m Clement,” Clement murmurs, bending down so Winifred can hop onto her hand. “Sorry I was rude - I’ve had rather a long day. Would you like a drink at all?”

Winifred asks for a bowl full of cold water, and splashes happily in it when Clement has it poured, water bouncing off her little bonnet. “You’re very kind,” she says. “I was travelling all day, you know, and I thought I was bound to be too late and that you’d have got someone already. No other witch will have me because I’m not very - you know, I don’t look very impressive, but I promise you I’m very good at spells!”

“I’m not very good at those at all,” Clement reassures her. “What sort of spells?”

“Healing magic,” Winifred says proudly. “Once I healed a fish who’d had her belly cut right open.”

Question 4, Clement reads on her paper. Do you think you would fit in my Cotage? 

She looks at the little toad, who’s humming to herself and fiddling with the neat bow she’s tied underneath her bonnet. “Winifred,” she says, “If you want to, I would be more than happy to have you as a familiar.”

“Oh!”

Winifred splashes with such excitement that Clement has to pour her another bowl of water, but she doesn’t mind at all. 

[kazlifeadventures]

Trinidad & Tobago - Carribean dreams...

I am so ‘vex’ that I won't be ‘liming’ in this beautiful place any more. I have been one lucky person to have been able to come here and hang with a local for almost a week. Jasmine has shown me her Trinidad and for that I am truly grateful. I have eaten so many local foods and they have all been fantastic. I have impressed the locals no end with my love of pepper sauce. The food here is tasty, spicy, and pretty much specific to this island. ‘Nah boy’, I am so very much enamoured with this country! One of my friends asked me if I had posted photos of the food. Truth be told, I don’t have a lot of pics, its not the most photogenic, and I seriously just wanted to eat it! I have partaken in the local speciality of doubles, with ‘plenty’ I might add - for those unaware that is with extra hot sauce and/or the mango bone that is infused with more pepper. Doubles is made with 2 baras filled with a curry channa (chick peas), it originally started as a breakfast food, progressing to be an anytime of the day food. It’s nutritious, tasty, and sold at street side vendors everywhere. Apparently even pizza and KFC taste better over here. This I can now say I agree with. Not sure if the food tastes better, or if its adding the ketchup, mustard, and pepper sauce that assists with the taste upgrade.....

Jas took me to the home of street food a little town called St James, and made sure I got to have saheena, (seriously amazing spicy little deep fried spinachy deliciousness ) as well as alloo pie...amongst other things. The locals only really eat out at restaurants on special occasions so that meant Jas cooked for me a lot of the time, and wow, just wow. I loved the chicken curry (brown), smoked herring, baigan choka, salt fish, home made roti, the fabulous goat curry.... I could rave on, but google Trinidadian food and you’ll understand. Jas lives out in the ‘country’ to the South of Port of Spain, the capital. We spent one evening heading around to some of the local rum bars. Rum bars are everywhere here. Beer is cold and cheap (and made here - love the Stag and the Carib!). I got to meet a few of the locals. Over here they will buy you a drink even for something as simple as the fact that they had to order over you slightly. At the bar. They loved to meet the ‘white girl from Austalia’, as out here they dont see a lot like me... The good thing is none of it was them just trying it on with the foreigner. These are genuinely lovely, polite, caring people. I had a dance off with some girls from Venezuela, and ended up drinking way more drinks then I paid for, eating (they sell bar snacks and’cutters’ only at the rum shops) some tasty wontons at one place, and some really tasty fried chicken at another. We then got some free food from another lovely local who bought us a drink, and also then brought us across some Souse and Corn soup from his food stall (across the road from the rum shop). Anyway I can now say I have tried Souse, not sure I’d eat it again, it was flavourful, but pigs trotters in broth with onion and cucumber is not on my list of things to eat again! I think I have decided that I need to come back to Aus and start my own Trini food store, I think it’d be a huge hit. Love the local beers. Love the rum here. Jas made sure I tasted the Puncheon rum - 75 % and you never get a hangover or upset stomach... I wanted to bring some home, but alas no room in the suitcase! One of the biggest things, I was not aware that this is the home where Angostura bitters is bottled. It was first created in the town called Angostura in Venezuela by a German surgeon stationed in Venezuela, originally produced there between 1824 - 1830. In 1875, the plant was moved to Trinidad and that’s where it’s secret recipe is still produced today.

One of the main religions here is Hindu, they have a giant (85 feet - 26m) statue of Lord Hanuman Murti located in the grounds of Dattatreya Yoga. The statue is the second tallest in the world, and the tallest one in the western hemisphere. When we pulled up onsite there was one man looking after the bookstore who allowed us to enter the grounds and take photos. We weren't allowed to enter the temple/yoga centre as we weren't appropriately dressed. The gentleman then showed us the book explaining how the statue had been built and answered all my gazillion questions. It was like having our own private tour! Jas then took me down the road a little further to show me the temple in the sea. This temple was originally constructed by hand 1947 -52 by Sewdass Sadhu an immigrant from India. It has since been added to, and tidied up, but it's an amazing place, and a site of pilgrimage for Hindus. It's also one of the designated locations for Hindus to perform the funeral pyre. Hindu religion requires that the dead are burned near water and a holy place.

Brian Lara is still HUGE here. He is a home town Trini boy so I completely understand. Cricket is massive, and the new Brian Lara stadium is a huge landmark. They had a cricket game on when I was here (Trinidad vs Jamaica) but they had sold out the tickets otherwise we would have gone.

I spent a day at the beautiful Maracas beach, located on the northern part of Trini. On the way there we stopped at the lookout and had a quick look at the food stalls. I got to try some ‘Chow’, a garlicky spicy way of preserving such things as Pineapple, apple, mango, cucumber... its yummy and not too spicy and I really appreciated the stall holder giving me a taste ( and Jas’s friend Isabelle for buying some of the pineapple one). Maracas beach is a favourite with the locals and its a thing to do to have a ‘bake and shark’ when you go to the beach. Betcha cant guess what I had... Can I say amazing (again!!) You not only get your bake (which is a deep fried Roti) You get beautiful fresh deep fried shark fillet inside it, then you go to a buffet like area and add as many of the additions as you want . Yep, of course I added a bit of EVERYTHING . I had to taste it all. Seriously that thing was amazing. BTW I do taste everything first before adding pepper sauce... pepper sauce heightens the flavours. Jas’s friend Isabelle got her son in law to give us a shout out on the radio station he worked at ( they had it playing at the beach), so ‘Karen from Australia’ is now Trini Famous... love it!!

Jasmine took me out to the Pitch lake, in La Brea, and I’ll admit, I had no idea what it was ( I thought it was a lake!!) Anyway, some how we ended up with a colourful local as our personal guide, he was You tube famous and has apparently featured on David Attenboroughs visit to the lake. I have to sit and edit my ‘documentary’ when I’m back in Australia, it’ll be awesome.. I promise. Suffice to say the lake is the most amazing tar pit. Seriously amazing tar pit. The roads leading into the area are all like travelling over mini crazy hills due to the impact of the tar movements in the area. You have to use an authorised guide on the site, which is fair enough as a wrong step could see you disappear forever into the tar... literally... Trinidads pitch lake is the largest natural deposit of asphalt in the world (estimated to hold about 10 million tonnes) Its covers about 100 acres and is about 250 feet deep. There is a cool legend involving the origin of the lake the involves a hummingbird (I like the story), Historically Walter Raleigh re-discovered the lake on his expedition there in 1595. It has that charming rotten egg smell, and the mud and sulphur water apparently have healing properties. Locals were there immersing themselves in some of the pools while we were there. As we didnt have swim suits we had to settle with getting coated in the mud on our legs, and for me, also my face...lol!!! I didnt get a chance to put it on myself, out guide was very keen to smear it all over my face... (and shirt and hair.. etc...). Rinsing it, after it had set, was a whole other process involving splashing what looked Iike green water all over my face (and legs), all I wanted to do was rinse my face with some fresh water afterwards - and it took over an hour or so until I finally got somewhere to do it. Let’s not talk about how much scrubbing it required later that night to get the last bits of our skin! A great fun day though, made all the better for our colourful guide! I have had a crash course in some of the Trinidadian slang/words and between that and their accents I am sometimes lost in a conversation... (definitely accents particularly when you are trying to enter the country and the border control guy is talking to you and you have to continually say, sorry what??? ) I’m a lot better now!!

Jas couldn’t make it over to Tobago as she had work scheduled at her house that she needed to be around for. So I decided to head over for a night, hire a car, and see what I could see. Its literally a 20 min flight over (only costs about 50 US return) FYI 24 hrs isn’t really enough to see everything. I didnt get to the water fall or national park. I had headed down to Store bay beach when I first arrived with instructions to try the curry crab, conch and dumplings in Tobago (its their local specialty, amongst a few other things). Have to say I liked the conch, crab was over cooked and dry, and dumplings were kind of chewy. The ‘provisions’ that I got with it were really nice though - Plantain, Potato, green banana, avocado ..I would have liked to have tried another outlet to give a second opinion, but didnt have the time. I did get to the beautiful Pigeon Park, a natural reserve area, filled with some shops, water sports hire, beautiful beaches and glorious spot to watch the sunset. I also got out to the Fort of King George in Scarborough hiking up the giant hill to take in the glorious views. Hilariously there was a traffic hold up on my way there due to some goats being herded along the road. Island time boy. I would have to say, as much as its a part of the one country, Tobago island is completely different to Trinidad. Its a lot more touristy for a start, it has more servicible beaches. The roads are not as pot holed as Trinidad. The people are still lovely, but you get the tourist scouters who are looking to sell you on anything they can. Its a beautiful place and I’m so glad I got to go across and visit. As always, I can always go back!

My time in the Caribbean has come to a close. (9-16 Oct). What an adventure. I have had a fabulous time, and recommend to anyone to come here and see this place, taste the food and meet the people for themselves. The country has their own issues with government corruption which impacts the improvement of infrastructure like roads etc. And there are warnings around safety as there are elements involved in crime that impact locals and tourists alike. This just makes Trinidad Tobago, not unlike a lot of other countries that I have visited on my adventures. It just means the more prepared you are to be open to new things, different ways of doing things, different cultures. The more you are aware of your own safety, and that of your belongings , the more you can avoid crime. Crime can impact you anywhere in the world, countries like this dont have it any more or less than others, it just seems to be in the media more....

[bakedcomfortfood1-blog]

Low Carb Comfort Foods: Comfort Beyond Breads And Pasta

What's the very first thing that comes to mind when someone requires you what you favorite comfort food is? Quarry is cooked macaroni and cheese that is a small bit

bakedcomfortfood

I really like to eat, therefore when the book Southern Living Ease Food found my desk I recently had to check on it out. Following skimming the list I see the foreword which is nearly as effective as the dishes!

A lot of the 150 ease food recipes are followed closely by full site shade photographs. Cases or images are particularly helpful to chefs like me that are interested in learning the ultimate presentation.

The book covers: comfort food classics, breakfast any time, new from the backyard, casseroles & beyond, soups & stews, desserts, and breaks & unique occasions.

The best comfort food, macaroni and cheese, is the very first formula in comfort food classics. Macaroni and cheese takes on a complete new indicating with the Three-Cheese Dinner Bake. That menu is followed closely by more of my favorites including Gonzales Meat Loaf, Buttermilk Garlic Crushed Apples, Lemon-Garlic Toast Chicken With Sauteed Green Beans, The Perfect Burger, French Fries, Chicken Pot Cake, Traditional Barbecue Bones, Chicken-Fried Meal, Pig Grinds, Cabbage, and Apples, and Mama's Fried Chicken.

Farmers Industry Scramble, Pimento Cheese Biscuits, Hash Brown Casserole, Buttermilk'n'Honey Pancakes, Cinnamon-Raisin Rolls, Waffles Benedict, and Carmel-Nut Pull-Apart Bread are just a some of the dishes included in morning meal anytime.

New from the backyard involves such tasty recipes as Homemade Applesauce, Corn Pudding, Crunch Melted Okra, Summertime Squash Casserole, and Fried Natural Tomatoes.

You would be the hit of the party whenever you appear with any of the dishes in casseroles & beyond. My favorites contain Chicken-and-Rice Casserole, Scalloped Potatoes With Pig, Saucy Manicotti, Taco Casserole, and Twice-Baked Mashed Potatoes. A novel method of ease food to move!

Sops & Stews involves two variations of chicken soup: Chicken-and-Wild Grain Soup and Chicken Noodle Soup. Dishes for "Baked" Potato Soup, Black Bean Soup, 30- Minute Chili, and Easy Brunswick Stew will also be on the list of soups and stews featured.

Memories are constructed with Old-Fashioned Peanut Butter Snacks, Big Oats Snacks, Double-Chocolate Brownies, Mississippi Dirt, Million-Dollar Lb Cake, Strawberry Pound Cake, and Peanut Butter Pie. The are just a choosing of the mouth-watering recipes in Desserts.

Thin Holiday Pork, Birthday Dessert, Origin Carry Cooked Beans, Popcorn Balls, Roast Chicken and Gravy, Cornbread Dressing, Pumpkin Chess Cake Peanut Butter Fudge, Mrs. Floyd's divinity, and Walter's Pecan Cake and you've a menu for every of the holiday season & specific occasions.

You will find that guide at your neighborhood public selection but you might want to pay $29.95 and buy it at the area bookstore. I believe that it is really worth the investment.

Ease food! Regardless of who we are, all of us have these tasty ingredients that produce every thing better. Macaroni and cheese. Crushed carrots and gravy. Doughnuts, biscuits, pies and cakes. New bread leaking with dissolved butter. Gooey cinnamon rolls. Chicken noodle soup. For many individuals, these food encompass heat, comfort and security. And for many people they encompass carbs. So what's a minimal carber to accomplish? How will you find your personal ease ingredients on a cool winter's evening and feel pleased and maybe not deprived? With several correct low carbs foods and several makeover recipes, you are able to stay on your diet and enjoy your comforts shame free!

Meats.

Minimal carb means large protein and often the protein arises from a meat source. Ease meals are often Wednesday roasts of all sorts and this really is one area where minimal carb comfort food shines. Roast a turkey and make your entire house scent such as for instance a holiday. Come up with a Dijon mustard, black peppercorn and olive oil rub and apple to a meat top circular roast. Bake a pig with a mustard sauce. Roast a perfect rib or even a strip roast. Marinate and prepare a pork tenderloin. Grill up a flank steak. Roast a couple of hens or perhaps a several Cornish sport hens. Produce plenty of extras so you can have areas through the entire week. Collection your table with the sliced carved meat and include several delicious minimal carbohydrate side meals for a weekend ease meal that has number similar!

Eggs really are a great supply of protein and a delicious way to warm yourself up. Begin every day with a delightful omelet, using areas from your own Sunday roasts, new vegetables and cheese. Crumble pork sausage together with cheese, eggs, cream and veggies and make for a decadent and reassuring break fast casserole. Include product, bacon, swiss cheese and onion for a delightful quiche lorraine. Be creative with leftovers and create and develop frittatas, omelets, casseroles and more!

Lots of veggies are allowed on the reduced carbohydrate and others can be taken in moderation. But oahu is the potatoes and corn that many reduced carbers actually miss. Alternative cauliflower for an incredible and comforting option to crushed potatoes and you will not also skip the original. Water the cauliflower, strain, and adding product, butter and shredded cheese. Mash together and offer along side your primary dish. Dice up some of your outstanding meat toast, add a vessel of meat gravy and offer on the cauliflower mash. Put diced natural onion and clean cash for "filled cooked potato" mashed cauliflower. Take different reduced carb veggies and create hot and new mix frys. Warm up alfredo or cheddar cheese sauce and offer around steamed broccoli, asparagus and more. Stir sliced vegetables in to meat broth with leftover meat to create a delicious and heating meat plant soup. Get broccoli, chicken broth, cheese and treatment to produce a decadent broccoli cheese soup. Appreciate simple steamed greens with true creamery butter. The sky may be the restrict!

[ladysmaragdina]

So remember how that ramen joint was opening up across the street from me today? Yeah, me neither.

In other news, HOLY SHIT GUYS, I FIXED MY RAMEN RECIPE. HOLY. SHIT. I’m gonna post it here so that a) I remember how I tweaked the base recipe next time and b) last time I posted about ramen I got about ten requests for this, so here you go.

This is a nice, straightforward, miso ramen. It’s not a super-creamy 18-hour+ tonkotsu ramen. I’m not that godly yet. (I’m also a white person who is not even trying to be authentic)

Okay.

BROTH

(Cook/prep time 7+ hours, can be made in advance)

Until I figure out how to get shit to render properly in a slow cooker, this is a day-long cooking endeavor.

The recipe I’m basing this off of calls for four pounds of pig neck bones, one whole quartered chicken carcass with the breasts removed, and one pig trotter. I don’t have a stockpot big enough to deal with that and am intimidated by pig trotters (and chicken necks, and chicken feet, and other things I probably SHOULD be using), so:

- A couple pounds of pork bones

- A couple pounds of chicken wings

- One onion, chopped

- About ten cloves of garlic

- About a two-inch piece of ginger, peeled and chopped

- One or two carrots, peeled and chopped

- A handful of dried shiitake mushrooms

- One or two sticks of celery, chopped

- Instant dashi*

* Yes, I could make my own dashi with kombu and bonito flakes and such, but fuck that.

Toss your pork bones in a large pot, cover with cold water and bring to a boil. Hold it there, skimming scum off the top, for 20-30 minutes or until scum stops rising. Pork bones are weird; this keeps your stock from smelling funky. One time I didn’t blanch and it was Not Great.

While that’s going, chop your veggies and, optionally, brown your chicken wings.

When the bones are done blanching, dump the water, rinse the bones, rinse out the pot if you’re still using the same one. Toss everything except the celery and the dashi in a large stockpot. Cover with water by an inch or two (if you wanna replace some of the water with a can or two of chicken broth, go for it). Bring to a boil, reduce to the smallest of simmers, and cover. 

Let this go at a bare simmer for at least six hours. I let mine go for ten. You’re not leaving the house today. 

DON’T FUCKING STIR. 

When there’s an hour or two to go, add the celery (DON’T FUCKING STIR).

When it’s done, carefully strain, discard the solids, and add the dashi at a ratio of about 1/2 teaspoon/cup. I save this for last since a) dashi doesn��t like sustained high heat and b) I’m never sure how much liquid I’ll end up with. Incidentally, two cups of broth is about one (very generous!) individual serving, and I’ve got little tupperware containers that hold that much; I’ll dump a teaspoon of dashi into each one and ladle the broth over.

This stuff freezes real well. I usually get about 5-6 bowls of broth out of one batch.

Your broth is gonna taste kinda shitty. It has no salt! Read on.

TARE

(Cook/prep time 15ish minutes, can be made in advance)

Tare = flavoring. I’m still tweaking this part, but today is the first day I feel like I maybe got it right.

I should probably reduce this recipe by a third or so; it makes a FUCKTON of tare (but if you’ve got extra tare left over once your frozen broth runs out, you can half-ass the broth with canned chicken broth, dashi, and whatever aromatics you’ve got floating around. It won’t be as rich, but hey. No pork bones or gristly chicken bits = no collagen to render = no need for a 6-hour cooktime!).

- One cup white miso

- One cup red miso (yes, you want both types. BOTH types. I’ve done this with pre-blended red-and-white (awase) miso, but for some reason it’s not as great)

- At least two or three tbsps soy sauce

- One tbsp sesame oil

- One or two tbsps tahini (if you don’t have tahini - I opened mine today and found it was moldy - double or maybe triple the sesame oil)

- One or two tbsps rice wine vinegar

- At least six cloves of garlic, grated

- About a two-inch piece of ginger, peeled and grated

- Half an onion, grated

- Sichimi togarashi to taste (a teaspoon? half a teaspoon?)

- Salt and/or - gasp! - MSG to taste

Mix it all up into a paste. Taste it. Is it salty as absolute fuck? If not, add more soy/salt. Then a little more to be sure.

This also freezes real well.

FAT

(Cook/prep time 30ish minutes + however long it took you to accumulate the bacon grease, can be made in advance)

This is TOTALLY OPTIONAL, but! It’ll give you that nice shimmery aroma-trapping film of fat on the top of the bowl.

- Grease from maybe one package of bacon (if you’re not straining and saving the grease from whenever you cook bacon, SHAME. You can also just buy lard - but. BACON.)

- The other half of your onion, chopped

- Some more ginger, peeled and chopped

- Maybe a dozen cloves of garlic

Cook the onions, garlic and ginger in the fat until golden - maybe half an hour? Strain, discard solids. Now you’ve got garlic-ginger-onion infused bacon fat. Congratulations.

This keeps in the fridge real well.

TOPPING: CHILI-GARLIC STUFF

(Cook/prep time 15ish minutes, can be made in advance)

This isn’t a recipe so much as “shit I threw together at the last minute because I realized that miso ramen goes well with spicy things.” Take some minced garlic, vegetable or sesame oil, a lot of sichimi togarashi, and whatever else (sesame seeds? Sugar?). Saute until the garlic is blackish and sticky. If you’re feeling less lazy than I was, puree. Toss that shit on as a topping because, since you made it, it’s fancier than sriracha. Yaaaaay.

TOPPING: MARINATED EGG

(Cook/prep time 6-8 hours, CANNOT be made in advance)

Soft-boil an egg! Bring a pot of water to a boil, dump in an egg that’s still cold from the fridge, and boil for six minutes; your margin of error here is maybe thirty seconds each way. Shock in icewater. Peel, carefully. Marinate in a 3/2/1 ratio of soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, and sake (you can skip the sake, or add other things like ginger or extra sugar, or whatever), folding a paper towel over the top to soak up the liquid and ensure the top off the egg soaks too.

Marinate for six or perhaps eight hours, definitely no more than ten. Too short in the marinade, and you won’t pick up much  flavor (you’ll still have a nice soft-boiled egg, though). Too long, and your egg will start getting weird and rubbery.

NOODLES

Noodles

(does... does Amazon seriously have these listed for $25 a pack? They’re like $3 at my local Asian market. Good lord.)

Seriously, if you’ve read this far... don’t use instant noodles. Fresh noodles are amazing. I buy Sun Ramen’s frozen miso ramen kits and toss out the flavoring packet. (Lowball the cooking time. The miso noodles say to cook for 2:15; I give them maaaaaaybe two minutes)

All this shit (minus the egg) fucking freezes, and fresh noodles are no exception. Give them a day to thaw in the fridge before using.

ASSEMBLY

The fucking GREAT thing about ramen is that ALL THIS SHIT FUCKING FREEZES and you can just heat it up later. So:

- Thaw/heat up your broth, heat up your water for the noodles.

- While that’s going, dump about a tablespoon of your infused fat and an ice-cream-scoop of tare into your bowl (honestly, I add tare to the point of saturation). Prep any toppings you want - take the egg out of the marinade, chop green onions, whatever. Set the table. Pour your drink. Do all that shit now.

- When your water and broth are both boiling, dump the noodles in the water and start a timer for them. While that’s going, dump your broth into your bowl and wisk until the fat melts and the tare is incorporated (don’t forget to give the noodles a stir or two during this so they don’t clump). 

- Drain the noodles, briefly shock under cold water, and dump in your bowl. Quickly. Fresh ramen noodles are WEIRD. If you don’t shock them, they’ll keep cooking and go mushy; if you don’t get them from boiling water to bowl in less than ten seconds, they clump like fuck. (I have never tried to time the noodles for multiple servings of ramen for multiple people. I am vaguely terrified to)

- Toppings

- IT IS FOOD

And there you go!

...You’ll notice I’m missing a recipe for everyone’s favorite topping: chashu pork. Honestly, I live alone, this is SO MUCH FOOD that chashu pork feels excessive. Don’t let me stop you. Go do what I cannot.

[tipsycad147]

Leandra Witchwood

In the practice of Kitchen Magick, bones can play a key part in adding power to any Magickal recipe or spell.

Tasty and useful, bones are essential to cooking and Magick. They create rich, flavorful broths, offer vital nutrients, and embody a powerful Magickal essence. Today we will take a look at how you can use bones in Kitchen Magick as well as other types of Magick.

Before we look at the use of bones, there are a few points I need to touch on. Bone Magick is a sacred Magick, and the ingredients you acquire and use must also be treated in a respectful and sacred manner. With that said, there are some dos and don’ts in this practice. So are cultural, and some for spiritual, and all are important. While Animals hold their Magickal essences, it is not acceptable to go out into the wild, (or to any other location for that matter) and kill an animal without the proper licenses, permissions, and so on. It is also not acceptable to kill an animal solely for a single body part like a bone or the fur. In most states, hunters are required to obtain proper hunting licenses and are permitted to only hunt in designated areas at designated times. Please follow the rules and laws of where you live.

If you are not processing the animal for consumption, (aka cooking the animal for food) using found animal parts is an acceptable form of acquiring discarded animal bones for your non-edible spells. Otherwise, it is smart to get your bones (and other animal parts) from doing your hunting or from reputable farmers and butchers. The key is to ensure that your animal was treated with the highest respect throughout its life and during its carcass processing. Like I mentioned above, this is a sacred observance. Using Animals in Magick is a divine act and should always be held in high regard. When you obtain or mistreat your ingredients, you taint their Magickal essence, therefore, contaminate you and harm your Magickal intentions.

It is the versatility of bone that has made bone like ivory a popular commodity in many cultures. While I do not advocate the use of ivory, the use of ivory displays the value of bone in different ways. I believe that the Elephant has more use for its tusks than we do and should not be sacrificed in this way. As I stated before, all animals are sacred and should never be defiled or wasted. To kill an animal solely to harvest their tusks, antlers or any other body part is an act of dishonour and disrespect.

Also, I know, the idea of discussing the “processing” of animal parts seems like a gross practice to many people. However, if you are to practice any non-Vegan/Vegetarian style of Witchcraft you will need to get over it. Especially if you are an omnivore. The idea that an animal has to be processed is a reality. None of this makes the practice of Witchcraft evil or demonic. It is a simple fact of life. For life to continue a life must be sacrificed. Nature is very clear about her cycles. She is also very clear about nothing ever going to waste. When we follow Nature’s laws, we clearly understand and realise her ebb and flow, and deliberateness in continuing the cycle of life, death, and rebirth.

Okay with that said let’s move on to why you came!

Using Bones

It is a long-standing tradition in my home that whenever a chicken or turkey is cooked, we save and dry the Wishbone. Once dried the bone is held at opposite ends by two women of the household (usually the cooks) or by the two youngest members of the household as each makes a wish. As the wish is made each person pulls their piece of the bone to break it. The person holding the largest piece of the broken wishbone will have their wish.

In some traditions such as these are superficial and are only done for entertainment. However, to the Kitchen Witch, this is Magick!

There was a time, not all that long ago when animals were viewed as sacred. Each holding it’s own divine vibrational essence, unlike many current views where animals are looked at and treated as commodities. At one time, animals were killed with care and reverence. The family or tribe hunting would never take more than they needed and would often conduct specific rites to honour the spirit of the departed creature. Once the necessary rituals were performed, and respects were paid, the meat was used for food. It was thought blasphemous to waste the remaining parts of the animal and so the rest was used in a variety of ways. In some cultures, it was believed that the spirit of the animal might return to your home with a deadly curse or with severe misfortune if its remains were mistreated or wasted.

The reverence for our animal brothers and sisters encouraged people to use the entire animal for daily life and in sacred rites, not just the bits and pieces as we do today. The skin, hair, teeth, bones, and so on all had a purpose. Bones became a primary component in most divination and Magickal practices. This incorporation of animal parts into sacred rituals makes perfect sense, even to this day. All life is sacred, making the food we consume sacred. Treating animals with respect is a given when you are walking a Magickal and spiritual path.

Divination

I am sure you have seen some horrible and misleading renditions of bone divination in movies. Typically portrayed is a dingy blind hag tossing bones into a bowl or onto cloth as she murmurs an evil curse. While these representations are dramatic misrepresentations of the truth, they are loosely based on actual ancient practices.

Different bones have a different meaning, much like ruins or tarot cards. How the bones fall will determine the message that is read by the skilled Diviner. Many cultures from South African to Mongolian, European, and South American, all have their styles and rituals for reading bones. Some use the knucklebones of sheep while others prefer a mix for rib, spine, and leg bones. In some cultures, a combination of various animal bones is preferred, giving the Diviner a variety of sizes and shapes to read.

While in the movies we see the Diviner receiving a large amount of information determining the outcomes of a critical situation, in reality, the Diviner will often only answers yes or no questions. Others will break up the divination into as many as 4-parts with simple answers received. While there is no single form of bone divination, many traditions have been mingled to create new styles of reading. A great example is South African, European and Native American traditions as displayed in some new world traditions like Hoodoo and Southern Conjure.

Bones as Tools

Longer or larger bones of pigs, turkeys, and beef make great tools. You could effectively create a Magick wand for directing and focusing your energy from larger longer bones. Bone can be smoothed, carved and burned to represent your path with symbols that are specific and meaningful to you. You can create your divination set from pieces of bone, or carve bone to create altarpieces.

You can use large bones to grind herbs and spices for your Magickal recipes much like a Pestle. You will want to make sure the bone is strong enough, large enough and that it has been appropriately cleaned for this kind of task. I have found that the ribs bones of pig and beef work very well. You will want to make sure they are uncut bone, keeping the bone as close to its original state as possible.

Discussing this reminds me of stories I have heard and read about how some practitioners of Magick will acquire the bones of a powerful Witch after his or her death for this purpose. It is thought that the bone of a powerful individual will help infuse spells, potions, and other Magickal workings with the remnant power of the deceased. It is for this reason that many powerful Witches would instruct their apprentices and family members to keep their graves secret or choose to become cremated. The purpose is to prevent the contamination of their resting place. I don’t recommend raiding tombs to acquire powerful bones, it is not only spiritually dangerous, but it is also highly disrespectful to disturb the dead. The idea has significance as we use animal bones to infuse our Magickal recipes with the animal’s specific Magickal essence.

In addition to using bones as a pestle type tool, you can also use larger bones for stirring soups and other Magickal recipes. Animals are usually considered a symbol of abundance and prosperity when used in Magick. The bones of animals will help infuse your spells with this Magickal essence. It only makes sense to use bones in the conjuring of spells related to prosperity, abundance, financial gain, and so on.

If you were able to know the animal personally by raising it on your own or through sponsorship, you will also have the chance to know and understand its unique personality. This will also help you determine what magickal essence the animal will provide to your Magickal Recipes. Since raising our beef, poultry, and pork is an issue for most of us living in urban locations, the sponsorship of an animal is an ideal way to ensure your animal is treated humanely and respectfully. To learn more about how to sponsor an animal read:

Magickal Recipes

In recent years, the Marrow of beef and ox has made a comeback in high-end restaurants. It would almost appear that the wisdom of our ancestors is slowly making its presence known through the indulgence of high society.

In Magickal recipes, the use of bone is essential to making stocks.  Stocks have many uses and should not be confused with broth. While bones can also be used in the making of broth, stocks are a bit different. While broths are usually made from the meaty parts of the animal, stocks are made of the bones resulting in a richer flavor as the gelatin and marrow are released. In either method, you can add a variety of vegetables to the cooking process to deepen and enhance the flavor.

While other forms of non-edible Magick allow the use of found bones, I cannot recommend using found bones inedible recipes. You will only want to use bones you have purchased fresh or processed yourself.

So there you have it, Bone Magick (in a nutshell) for the Kitchen Witch! Bones have many uses and are another sacred ingredient you should always have in your Magickal Kitchen! I hope you are inspired to use bones in new ways and that you have found a new reverence for animals in your work!

Bright Blessing!

Leandra

http://www.themagickkitchen.com/bone-magick-for-the-kitchen-witch/

[cqfox-blog]

Hotpot is the most famous delicacy associated with Chongqing nationwide. No matter where you travel in China, you will almost certainly find a ‘Chongqing Huoguo (Fire wok) ���庆火锅’ restaurant in town.

There are countless avenues for us to explore with hotpot; the history, key ingredients, utensils, varieties, specialties, brands, social culture, homemade versions, entertainment, games, Chinese and local dialect terms, way too much to cover in a single post without making the reader’s head spin!

In light of this, I’m going to break down the culinary phenomenon of Chonqing hotpot into a series of bitesize themes, today’s being a matter of huge practical concern for overseas visitors, dealing with the menu!

For simplicity, I will picture the scenario where the tourist wanders into a common streetside hotpot restaurant, doesn’t know much Chinese, and isn’t familiar with ordering process.

You shouldn’t have any taxing issues with the upmarket brands, or at least they won’t give you much cause for headaches, so I intend to put these aside for today and focus exclusively on the ‘street’ hotpot experience.

Hang around through to the end, where I will share the most common hotpot menu items in both Chinese and English. I’m sure you will enjoy reading them, as perhaps one day turn them to practical use.

  Basic Steps

  On the surface, at least, the process of ordering hotpot itself is remarkably straight forward.

You walk in, then first tell the staff how many are in your party, since you might have more people coming to join you, for which you’ll need the right size of table and position.

Once a group of patrons have sat down, they will hand you one tickbox menu for the whole group to choose from. Depending on the occasion, a good host will allow the beneficiariesof his goodwill to select first. In a friendly gathering, there are no major formalities to worry much about.

Whilst you’re busy pondering over the menu, the chef will prepare your wok, then carry it through the aisles to your table, and heaven forbid drop or spill the contents! They will light the gas stove there and then, as it’ll take a while before it’s hot enough to cook anything.

You might find the waiting staff standing around to take the order if they’re not busy, and lots of foreign tourists may naturally feel a little uneasy, as if under pressure to hurry up.

The truth is you needn’t feel this way, it’s just the done way. They will wait for you, and might poactively recommend some dishes that you’re free to accept or decline. If you really feel uncomfortable, you can politely try out this phrase ‘请给我们几分钟考虑吧 Qing gei women ji fenzhong kaolv ba.’ Please give us a few minutes to think about it.

Once you’ve chosen, you hand the paper back, and they’ll do the rest. You can order extra later if you want, and they’ll just add it to the bill, no problem.

Sounds simple, right?

Well, yes, but with one almighty catch, being able to read and understand Chinese!

As well as enhancing cultural awareness, I hope my post comes in handy for the intrepid traveller one day!

  Back to the Past

  On my first independent ventures with fellow British friends back in 2003, the days before I knew Mandarin well, we were at a complete loss with the menus, and unable to communicate with the staff.

The only two solutions available at the time, apart from not going, were pestering strangers from another table for potential help, or have a waitress follow you around the restaurant and tick the menu as you point saying ‘I want one of those!’

Trying your luck at random choice is a highly risky tactic. Hidden among the palatable options are the likes of tripe, brains, duck intestines, gums, tongue, chicken’s feet, coagulated blood, plus a few exotic plants and mushrooms that foreigners aren’t necessarily used to eating.

Funny as it seems looking back, I expect you’ll want to avoid making a spectacle of yourself, or providing other patrons a source of great amusement. So, in my case, one of the top priorities after my arrival in Chongqing was to master the hotpot vocabulary. I took home a copy of all the menus, then painstakingly searched out the characters in a dictionary, one by one!

My efforts soon paid off. Though it took a while to memorise all the characters, I quickly managed to steer clear of the undesirable options by focusing on key words like Du肚 (Tripe), Xue血 (blood), Zhao爪 (Feet), Nao脑 (Brain) ecetera.

As in English, there a number of colloquialisms for the good old potato in Chinese, so you’ll have to learn a few alteratives for the same vegetable. The most common is ‘Tudou土豆,’ but menus often list them as ‘Yang-yu洋芋 (Foreign taro) or Ma-ling-shu马铃薯.

Interestingly, don’t always expect every Chinese member of staff to know each of these words for potato. I have known of people ordering ‘Tudou,’ only for the waiter to say there aren’t any, when in fact they’re on the menu under a different name!

Likewise, the popular and tasty lotus root slices are usually called ‘Ou-pian藕片,’ but are also known sometimes as ‘He-xin河心 (River hearts!).

Thankfully, most other foods tend to go by the same Chinese word, so potatoes are really the exception, not the rule, here.

  Translations of popular hotpot food

  Here’s the moment you’ve been waiting for!

The list below may be rather long, but I’m sure the sense of curiosity and and reactions to some of the more unusual items will carry you through to the end!

Waiting staff bring all of these dishes raw on plates, and the customers cook them in the boiling spicy wok.

There are a few Chinglish sounding expressions, so I have altered a few details to make them easier to understand.

Let’s see how many you’d like to try!

  火锅中英文菜单 Chinese-English Hotpot menu

  精品鹅肠 Special goose intestines

精品鸭肠 Special duck intestines

精品毛肚 Special tripe

(精品 jing-pin means special in the sense of high quality or house special)

麻辣牛肉 Spicy beef

香菜丸子 Meatballs served with cilantro

鲜牛鞭 Fresh ox penis

鹌鹑蛋 Quail eggs

美国肥牛 American fatty beef

鲜鹅肠 Fresh goose intestine

(Fresh as in not from the freezer)

鳝鱼 Eel

午餐肉 Spam meat/Luncheon meat (spam 是美国俗语)

无骨鹅掌 De-boned goose webs (Feet)

耗儿鱼 Corydoras

脑花 Brains

羊肉串 Mutton kebabs

羊肉卷 Sliced mutton

黄辣丁 Pelteobagrus fulvidraco fish

现炸酥肉 Deep-Fried Pork Fingers (Great as a starter)

鲜毛肚 Fresh tripe

腰片 Sliced kidneys

鲜鸭肠 Fresh duck intestines

鲜猪黄喉 Fresh pork trachea

千层肚 Thousand-layered tripe (Piled like lasagne in strips 千层面)

鲜鱼头 Fresh fish heads

虾饺 Shrimp dumplings

脆皮肠 Crispy intestine

鲜黄喉 Fresh trachea

白菜 Chinese white cabbage

豆芽 Beansprouts

鲜豆腐 Fresh Tofu

冬瓜 Winter gourd

藕片 Sliced lotus roots

土豆 Potatoes

木耳 agaric fungus

香菜 Cilantro

土豆皮 Potato skin

鲜鸭血 Fresh duck blood curds (A bowl of coagulated blood)

海带 Seaweed

青笋头 Green bamboo shoots

平菇 Shitake mushrooms

香菇 Champignon (Mushrooms)

贡菜 dried ballonflower

四川金针菇 Sichun Needle mushrooms

方竹笋 Square bamboo shoots

蛋炒饭 Fried rice with eggs

牛油火锅 butter hotpot

秘制全白锅 House special white hotpot

清油鸳鸯锅 Clear-oil double-flavoured hotpot

牛油鸳鸯锅 butter double flavoured hotpot

(The above four are different kinds of bases for the wok soup. My suggestion is the partitioned spicy broth and bland soup, as meant by ‘double flavoured’)

香油碟 Sesame oil

特色菜 House special dishes 

荤菜 Meat dishes

素菜 Vegetarian dishes

小吃 Snacks

锅底 Soup base

油碟 Oil dish

火锅 Hot pot

茼蒿菜 Crown daisies (Plant)

莲藕片lotus root-pieces

冬瓜片Chinese watermelon-pieces

青笋片lettuce-pieces

鸭血 duck blood

平菇 Even mushroom

粉条vermicelli

牛百叶 stomach of the cattle

小羊羔肉 Lamb

肥牛 Fatty beef

肥肠 Pig’s colon

鱼丸 Fish meatballs

虾丸Shrimp meatballs

鳝鱼片 Eel strips

午餐肉 spam luncheon meat或spam

爽口嫩牛肉 Tender Beef

牛肉饺 beef dumplings

猪肉饺 pork dumplings

虾米饺 shrimp dumplings

龙须面 Fine noodles

麻花 fried dough twist (Hemp flour biscuits)

火腿肠 sausages

精品:House Special(意思是本店特色,言下之意就是精品了)

鹅:goose;

肠:intestine;

鸭:duck;

麻辣:spicy;

牛肉:beef;

香菜caraway;

牛肉丸:beef ball;

手工house-made(意思就是本店亲手制作),

里脊fillet,

嫩牛肉tender beef;

鲜fresh;

墨鱼仔cuttlefish;

美国肥牛:American beef,

蟹肉crab meat,

鳝鱼eel,

无骨:boneless;

火腿肠:sausage

猪脑花:pig brain,

羊肉串:lamb stick,

带鱼hairtail,

鳕鱼ling,

酥肉,fried pork,

腰片:sliced kidney,

无骨凤爪 boneless chicken paw,

大白菜cabbage,

豆芽bean sprout,

鲜豆腐fresh tofu,

冬瓜chinese watermelon,

藕片lotus root,

鱿鱼:squid,

虾饺shrimp dumpling,

土豆,patato,

黄瓜:cucumber,

木耳agaric,

血汪red tofu (Soup with blocks of coagulated blood)

海带seaweed,

年糕rice cake,

花菜cauliflower,

蘑菇mushroom,

竹笋bamboo shoot,

脆豆腐 crispy tofu,

蛋炒饭 egg fried rice,

八宝粥 Mixed porridge,

特色菜:Chef specialty,

荤菜:meat,

素材:vegetable,

小吃:snack

   Here are some more!

  1、红油锅底 Hot pot soup base (red chili oil)

2、清汤鸳鸯锅底 Dual hot pot soup bases(red chili oil and clear soup)

3、土鸡汤鸳鸯锅底 Dual hot pot soup bases(red chili oil and village chicken soup)

  4、野生菌锅底 Hot pot soup base (wild mushroom)

5、麻酱碟 Plate of sesame paste

6、香油碟 Plate of sesame oil

7、椒盐碟 Plate of pepper salt

8、鳝鱼 Short eel

9、尚席方竹笋 Square bamboo shoot of ShangXi

10、特色毛肚 Sepcial beef omasum

11、猪黄喉 Pig trachea

12、重庆酥肉 Chongqing fried pork

13、鸭胗花 Duck gizzard pieces

14、鸭胗片 Duck gizzard slices

15、腰花 Pork kidney pieces

16、腰片 Pork kidney slices

17、老肉片 Marbled meat slices

18、牛眼肉 rib eye beef

19、肥牛 Fat beef slices

20、内蒙羔羊肉 Inner Mongolia kidlet slices

21、羊上脑 Fillet of lamb

22、手切鲜羊肉 Fresh mutton slices

23、手切鲜牛肉 Fresh beef slices

24、牛毛肚 Beef omasum(black)

25、牛黄喉 Beef trachea

26、火腿肠 Ham sausages

27、泥鳅 Loaches

28、鱼丸 Fish meatballs

29、虾丸 Shrimp meatballs

30、牛肉丸 Beef meatballs

31、鹌鹑蛋 Quail eggs

32、猪脑 Pig’s brains

33、蟹肉 Crab meat

34、脆皮肠 Crispy sausages

38、带鱼 Frost fish

39、马面鱼 Horse-faced fish

40、花鲢鱼头 Spotted silver carp head

41、牛百叶 Beef omasum (white)

42、猪肉香菜丸子 Pork and parsley meatballs

43、羊肚 Lamb tripe

44、牛骨髓 Bovine bone marrow

45、无骨鸭掌 Boneless duck feet

47、黄辣丁 Yellow cartfish

48、午餐肉 luncheon meat

50、九尺鹅肠 Goose intestines (long)

51、肥肠 Pig’s colon

52、鸭舌 Duck tongues

53、竹荪 Bamboo shoots

54、草菇 Straw mushroom

55、金针菇 Golden mushroom

56、香菇 Black mushroom

57、平菇 Cap fungus

60、白菜 Chinese cabbage

61、圆白菜 Cabbage patch

62、粉丝 Vermicelli

63、土豆片 Potato slices

64、豆芽 Bean sprouts

66、宽粉 Wide Vermicelli

67、海带 Kelp stripes (Seaweed)

68、红薯片 Sweet potato slices

69、龙须面 Fine noodles

70、豆苗 Mung Beans

71、菠菜 Spinach

72、白萝卜片 Radish slices

73、冬瓜 Chinese watermelon

74、菜花 Cauliflower

75、茼蒿 Garland Chrysanthemum

76、年糕 Rice cakes

77、地耳 Nostoc commune

78、青笋叶 Asparagus leaves

79、油麦菜 Lettuces

80、腐竹 Bean curd sheet rolls

81、豆皮 Tofu skin

82、冻豆腐 Frozen tofu

83、白豆腐 Fresh tofu

84、蒿子杆 Garland chrysanthemum

85、鸭血 Duck blood

86、黄瓜 Cucumber

87、青笋条 Fresh Bamboo Shoots

88、藕片 Lotus Root slices

90、鲜山药 Fresh Cinnamomvine

91、四川麻圆 Si Chuan Sesame Balls

92、家乡叶儿粑 Cakes wrapped in leaves

93、香煎糍粑块 Fried Glutinous Rice Cake

94、鸳鸯小馒头 small buns in two flavors

95、香芋卷 Taro Rolls

96、醪糟小汤圆 Glutinous Rice Balls in Rice Wine

97、酱香蒸饺 Steamed Dumplings Seasoned with Soy Sauce

98、扬州炒饭 Yang Zhou fried Rice

99、担担面 Dandan noodles(top with chopped meatin soybean paste )

100、家乡泡菜 Pickled vegetables

101、米饭 White rice

103、鲜豆浆 Fresh soybean milk

104、柠檬茶 Lemon tea

105、鲜橙汁 Fresh orange juice

106、西瓜汁 Watermelon juice

107、青瓜汁 Cucumber juice

  Fun with Hotpot Menus Hotpot is the most famous delicacy associated with Chongqing nationwide. No matter where you travel in China, you will almost certainly find a 'Chongqing Huoguo (Fire wok) 重庆火锅' restaurant in town.

[weightlos6]

The Healthiest Way to Eat Paleo

The Healthiest Way to Eat Paleo:

There have been about a half dozen studies published on Paleo-type diets, starting around 20 years ago. For example, in what sounds like a reality TV show: ten diabetic Australian Aborigines were dropped off in a remote location to fend for themselves, hunting and gathering foods like figs and crocodiles.

In Modern Meat Not Ahead of the Game, my video on wild game, I showed that kangaroo meat causes a significantly smaller spike of inflammation compared to retail meat like beef. Of course, ideally we’d eat anti-inflammatory foods, but wild game is so low in fat that you can design a game-based diet with under 7 percent of calories from fat. Skinless chicken breast, in comparison, has 14 times more fat than kangaroo meat. So you can eat curried kangaroo with your cantaloupe (as they did in the study) and drop your cholesterol almost as much as eating vegetarian.

So, how did the “contestants” do? Well, nearly anything would have been preferable to the diet they were eating before, which was centered on refined carbs, soda, beer, milk, and cheap fatty meat. They did pretty well, though, showing a significantly better blood sugar response—but it was due to a ton of weight loss because they were starving. Evidently, they couldn’t catch enough kangaroos, so even if they had been running around the desert for seven weeks on 1,200 daily calories of their original junky diet, they may have done just as well. We’ll never know, though, because there was no control group.

Some of the other Paleo studies have the same problem: They’re small and short with no control groups, yet still report favorable results. The findings of one such study are no surprise, given that subjects cut their saturated fat intake in half, presumably because they cut out so much cheese, sausage, or ice cream. In another study, nine people went Paleo for ten days. They halved their saturated fat and salt intake, and, as one might expect, their cholesterol and blood pressure dropped.

The longest Paleo study had been only 3 months in duration, until a 15-month study was conducted—but it was done on pigs. The pigs did better because they gained less weight on the Paleo diet. Why? Because they fed the Paleo group 20 percent fewer calories. The improvement in insulin sensitivity in pigs was not reproduced in a study on people, however. Although, there were some benefits like improved glucose tolerance, thanks to these dietary changes: The Paleo group ate less dairy, cereals, oil, and margarine, and ate more fruits and nuts, with no significant change in meat consumption.

A follow-up study also failed to find improved glucose tolerance in the Paleo group over the control group, but did show other risk factor benefits. And no wonder! Any diet cutting out dairy, doughnuts, oil, sugar, candy, soda, beer, and salt is likely to make people healthier and feel better. In my video Paleo Diet Studies Show Benefits, you can see a day’s worth of food on the Standard American Diet, filled with pizza, soda, burgers, processed foods, and sweets, versus a Paleo diet, which, surprisingly, has lots of foods that actually grew out of the ground.

But the Paleo diet also prohibits beans. Should we really be telling people to stop eating beans? Well, it seems hardly anyone eats them anyway. Only about 1 in 200 middle-aged American women get enough, with more than 96 percent of Americans not even reaching the minimum recommended amount. So telling people to stop isn’t going to change their diet very much. I’m all for condemning the Standard American Diet’s refined carbs, “nonhuman mammalian milk”, and junk foods, but proscribing legumes is a mistake. As I’ve noted before, beans, split peas, chickpeas, and lentils may be the most important dietary predictor of survival. Beans and whole grains are the dietary cornerstones of the longest living populations on Earth. Plant-based diets in general and legumes in particular are a common thread among longevity blue zones around the world.

The bottom line may be that reaching for a serving of kangaroo may be better than a cheese danish, “but foraging for…[an] apple might prove to be the most therapeutic of all.”

I’ve reported previously on Paleo’s disappointing results in Paleo Diets May Negate Benefits of Exercise.

The underlying philosophy behind “caveman” diets may be flawed in the first place. See:

The Problem with the Paleo Diet Argument

Lead Contamination in Bone Broth

Low-Carb Diets and Coronary Blood Flow

Lose Two Pounds in One Sitting: Taking Mioscenic Route

Paleopoo: What We Can Learn from Fossilized Feces

Paleolithic Lessons

So, What’s the Natural Human Diet? Watch the video!

The wild game video I mentioned is Modern Meat Not Ahead of the Game. Kangaroo is kind of the Australian version of venison. Note that it also matters how the animals are killed. See Filled Full of Lead and Lead Contamination in Fish and Game.

And, for more on the musical fruit, see:

Increased Lifespan from Beans

Slow Your Beating Heart: Beans vs. Exercise

The Hispanic Paradox: Why Do Latinos Live Longer?

Gut Dysbiosis Starving Our Microbial Self

Beans and Gas: Clearing the Air

Beans, Beans, They’re Good for Your Heart

In health, Michael Greger, M.D.

PS: If you haven’t yet, you can subscribe to my free videos here and watch my live, year-in-review presentations:

2012: Uprooting the Leading Causes of Death

2013: More Than an Apple a Day

2014: From Table to Able: Combating Disabling Diseases with Food

2015: Food as Medicine: Preventing and Treating the Most Dreaded Diseases with Diet

2016: How Not To Die: The Role of Diet in Preventing, Arresting, and Reversing Our Top 15 Killers

from https://nutritionfacts.org/2019/08/01/the-healthiest-way-to-eat-paleo/ from https://myfunweightloss.tumblr.com/post/186698642677

[weightloss441posts]

The Healthiest Way to Eat Paleo

There have been about a half dozen studies published on Paleo-type diets, starting around 20 years ago. For example, in what sounds like a reality TV show: ten diabetic Australian Aborigines were dropped off in a remote location to fend for themselves, hunting and gathering foods like figs and crocodiles.

In Modern Meat Not Ahead of the Game, my video on wild game, I showed that kangaroo meat causes a significantly smaller spike of inflammation compared to retail meat like beef. Of course, ideally we’d eat anti-inflammatory foods, but wild game is so low in fat that you can design a game-based diet with under 7 percent of calories from fat. Skinless chicken breast, in comparison, has 14 times more fat than kangaroo meat. So you can eat curried kangaroo with your cantaloupe (as they did in the study) and drop your cholesterol almost as much as eating vegetarian.

So, how did the “contestants” do? Well, nearly anything would have been preferable to the diet they were eating before, which was centered on refined carbs, soda, beer, milk, and cheap fatty meat. They did pretty well, though, showing a significantly better blood sugar response—but it was due to a ton of weight loss because they were starving. Evidently, they couldn’t catch enough kangaroos, so even if they had been running around the desert for seven weeks on 1,200 daily calories of their original junky diet, they may have done just as well. We’ll never know, though, because there was no control group.

Some of the other Paleo studies have the same problem: They’re small and short with no control groups, yet still report favorable results. The findings of one such study are no surprise, given that subjects cut their saturated fat intake in half, presumably because they cut out so much cheese, sausage, or ice cream. In another study, nine people went Paleo for ten days. They halved their saturated fat and salt intake, and, as one might expect, their cholesterol and blood pressure dropped.

The longest Paleo study had been only 3 months in duration, until a 15-month study was conducted—but it was done on pigs. The pigs did better because they gained less weight on the Paleo diet. Why? Because they fed the Paleo group 20 percent fewer calories. The improvement in insulin sensitivity in pigs was not reproduced in a study on people, however. Although, there were some benefits like improved glucose tolerance, thanks to these dietary changes: The Paleo group ate less dairy, cereals, oil, and margarine, and ate more fruits and nuts, with no significant change in meat consumption.

A follow-up study also failed to find improved glucose tolerance in the Paleo group over the control group, but did show other risk factor benefits. And no wonder! Any diet cutting out dairy, doughnuts, oil, sugar, candy, soda, beer, and salt is likely to make people healthier and feel better. In my video Paleo Diet Studies Show Benefits, you can see a day’s worth of food on the Standard American Diet, filled with pizza, soda, burgers, processed foods, and sweets, versus a Paleo diet, which, surprisingly, has lots of foods that actually grew out of the ground.

But the Paleo diet also prohibits beans. Should we really be telling people to stop eating beans? Well, it seems hardly anyone eats them anyway. Only about 1 in 200 middle-aged American women get enough, with more than 96 percent of Americans not even reaching the minimum recommended amount. So telling people to stop isn’t going to change their diet very much. I’m all for condemning the Standard American Diet’s refined carbs, “nonhuman mammalian milk”, and junk foods, but proscribing legumes is a mistake. As I’ve noted before, beans, split peas, chickpeas, and lentils may be the most important dietary predictor of survival. Beans and whole grains are the dietary cornerstones of the longest living populations on Earth. Plant-based diets in general and legumes in particular are a common thread among longevity blue zones around the world.

The bottom line may be that reaching for a serving of kangaroo may be better than a cheese danish, “but foraging for…[an] apple might prove to be the most therapeutic of all.”

I’ve reported previously on Paleo’s disappointing results in Paleo Diets May Negate Benefits of Exercise.

The underlying philosophy behind “caveman” diets may be flawed in the first place. See:

The Problem with the Paleo Diet Argument

Lead Contamination in Bone Broth

Low-Carb Diets and Coronary Blood Flow

Lose Two Pounds in One Sitting: Taking Mioscenic Route

Paleopoo: What We Can Learn from Fossilized Feces

Paleolithic Lessons

So, What’s the Natural Human Diet? Watch the video!

The wild game video I mentioned is Modern Meat Not Ahead of the Game. Kangaroo is kind of the Australian version of venison. Note that it also matters how the animals are killed. See Filled Full of Lead and Lead Contamination in Fish and Game.

And, for more on the musical fruit, see:

Increased Lifespan from Beans

Slow Your Beating Heart: Beans vs. Exercise

The Hispanic Paradox: Why Do Latinos Live Longer?

Gut Dysbiosis Starving Our Microbial Self

Beans and Gas: Clearing the Air

Beans, Beans, They’re Good for Your Heart

In health, Michael Greger, M.D.

PS: If you haven’t yet, you can subscribe to my free videos here and watch my live, year-in-review presentations:

2012: Uprooting the Leading Causes of Death

2013: More Than an Apple a Day

2014: From Table to Able: Combating Disabling Diseases with Food

2015: Food as Medicine: Preventing and Treating the Most Dreaded Diseases with Diet

2016: How Not To Die: The Role of Diet in Preventing, Arresting, and Reversing Our Top 15 Killers

from https://nutritionfacts.org/2019/08/01/the-healthiest-way-to-eat-paleo/ from https://myfunweightloss.blogspot.com/2019/08/the-healthiest-way-to-eat-paleo.html

[myfunweightloss]

There have been about a half dozen studies published on Paleo-type diets, starting around 20 years ago. For example, in what sounds like a reality TV show: ten diabetic Australian Aborigines were dropped off in a remote location to fend for themselves, hunting and gathering foods like figs and crocodiles.

In Modern Meat Not Ahead of the Game, my video on wild game, I showed that kangaroo meat causes a significantly smaller spike of inflammation compared to retail meat like beef. Of course, ideally we’d eat anti-inflammatory foods, but wild game is so low in fat that you can design a game-based diet with under 7 percent of calories from fat. Skinless chicken breast, in comparison, has 14 times more fat than kangaroo meat. So you can eat curried kangaroo with your cantaloupe (as they did in the study) and drop your cholesterol almost as much as eating vegetarian.

So, how did the “contestants” do? Well, nearly anything would have been preferable to the diet they were eating before, which was centered on refined carbs, soda, beer, milk, and cheap fatty meat. They did pretty well, though, showing a significantly better blood sugar response—but it was due to a ton of weight loss because they were starving. Evidently, they couldn’t catch enough kangaroos, so even if they had been running around the desert for seven weeks on 1,200 daily calories of their original junky diet, they may have done just as well. We’ll never know, though, because there was no control group.

Some of the other Paleo studies have the same problem: They’re small and short with no control groups, yet still report favorable results. The findings of one such study are no surprise, given that subjects cut their saturated fat intake in half, presumably because they cut out so much cheese, sausage, or ice cream. In another study, nine people went Paleo for ten days. They halved their saturated fat and salt intake, and, as one might expect, their cholesterol and blood pressure dropped.

The longest Paleo study had been only 3 months in duration, until a 15-month study was conducted—but it was done on pigs. The pigs did better because they gained less weight on the Paleo diet. Why? Because they fed the Paleo group 20 percent fewer calories. The improvement in insulin sensitivity in pigs was not reproduced in a study on people, however. Although, there were some benefits like improved glucose tolerance, thanks to these dietary changes: The Paleo group ate less dairy, cereals, oil, and margarine, and ate more fruits and nuts, with no significant change in meat consumption.

A follow-up study also failed to find improved glucose tolerance in the Paleo group over the control group, but did show other risk factor benefits. And no wonder! Any diet cutting out dairy, doughnuts, oil, sugar, candy, soda, beer, and salt is likely to make people healthier and feel better. In my video Paleo Diet Studies Show Benefits, you can see a day’s worth of food on the Standard American Diet, filled with pizza, soda, burgers, processed foods, and sweets, versus a Paleo diet, which, surprisingly, has lots of foods that actually grew out of the ground.

But the Paleo diet also prohibits beans. Should we really be telling people to stop eating beans? Well, it seems hardly anyone eats them anyway. Only about 1 in 200 middle-aged American women get enough, with more than 96 percent of Americans not even reaching the minimum recommended amount. So telling people to stop isn’t going to change their diet very much. I’m all for condemning the Standard American Diet’s refined carbs, “nonhuman mammalian milk”, and junk foods, but proscribing legumes is a mistake. As I’ve noted before, beans, split peas, chickpeas, and lentils may be the most important dietary predictor of survival. Beans and whole grains are the dietary cornerstones of the longest living populations on Earth. Plant-based diets in general and legumes in particular are a common thread among longevity blue zones around the world.

The bottom line may be that reaching for a serving of kangaroo may be better than a cheese danish, “but foraging for…[an] apple might prove to be the most therapeutic of all.”

I’ve reported previously on Paleo’s disappointing results in Paleo Diets May Negate Benefits of Exercise.

The underlying philosophy behind “caveman” diets may be flawed in the first place. See:

The Problem with the Paleo Diet Argument

Lead Contamination in Bone Broth

Low-Carb Diets and Coronary Blood Flow

Lose Two Pounds in One Sitting: Taking Mioscenic Route

Paleopoo: What We Can Learn from Fossilized Feces

Paleolithic Lessons

So, What’s the Natural Human Diet? Watch the video!

The wild game video I mentioned is Modern Meat Not Ahead of the Game. Kangaroo is kind of the Australian version of venison. Note that it also matters how the animals are killed. See Filled Full of Lead and Lead Contamination in Fish and Game.

And, for more on the musical fruit, see:

Increased Lifespan from Beans

Slow Your Beating Heart: Beans vs. Exercise

The Hispanic Paradox: Why Do Latinos Live Longer?

Gut Dysbiosis Starving Our Microbial Self

Beans and Gas: Clearing the Air

Beans, Beans, They’re Good for Your Heart

In health, Michael Greger, M.D.

PS: If you haven’t yet, you can subscribe to my free videos here and watch my live, year-in-review presentations:

2012: Uprooting the Leading Causes of Death

2013: More Than an Apple a Day

2014: From Table to Able: Combating Disabling Diseases with Food

2015: Food as Medicine: Preventing and Treating the Most Dreaded Diseases with Diet

2016: How Not To Die: The Role of Diet in Preventing, Arresting, and Reversing Our Top 15 Killers

from https://nutritionfacts.org/2019/08/01/the-healthiest-way-to-eat-paleo/

[donaldscene98-blog]

Jenny Slate on Edibles, Animals, and Eric Garcetti’s Sexy Voice

Ten minutes after Jenny Slate arrives at a Silver Lake coffee shop on a sunny September afternoon, she is accosted by another patron. Thankfully the accoster is her pal and fellow Bob’s Burgers actress Kristen Schaal, which makes Slate a very willing accostee. The pair hatch a plan to have dinner as soon as Slate is in town long enough to do such a thing, which, she estimates, will be in two months. “This is the trouble with being friends with Jenny Slate,” Schaal says to me with a laugh. “She’s a movie star. You can quote me on that.”

Indeed, Slate’s rise is indisputable: In the years since her web series Marcel the Shell went viral (she voices the titular curious gastropod), the 36-year-old has lent her talents to animated films like Zootopia, starred in beloved series like Parks and Recreation, and carried provocative indies like Obvious Child. (At the moment, you can catch her alongside Tom Hardy in the comic book tentpole Venom.)

In short, she’s one of the industry’s most interesting and chameleonic talents. “When you come from comedy, people think that’s what you are,” she says. “You almost feel fraudulent if you have darker, more velvety aspects of yourself. So I want to take roles that are dramatic or sad—the way I feel about it is, I’m just starting.” Here she talks everything from edibles to Eric Garcetti.

Most L.A. sentence Marcel the Shell could ever say? [Marcel voice] “I’ll have the bone broth.” That, or like, “I don’t like the Beverly Center.”

You like rabbits, I hear? I mean, they’re fine. Rabbits are fine.

Oh weird, I read this interview where you said they’re your favorite animal. Rabbits? Really? I don’t think I would say that rabbits are my favorite. I love giraffes. But I have a lot of wooden rabbits in my house.

Well I’m going to ask you this question anyway, even though now it makes way less sense: Any rabbit, animated or otherwise, you’d have open for you at the Largo? Harvey from Harvey—you know, the Jimmy Stewart movie? Freak ’em out, man. Harvey could get it done. But if not Harvey, isn’t there a big bunny in Donnie Darko? That guy could do it. And if not him, what about Bigwig from Watership Down? Make it crazy. Thumper from Bambi’s too dumb. Can you imagine me getting up on stage and being like, “Give it up for Thumper!”

And you couldn’t have Bugs. Bugs can’t. You can’t do that. You can’t follow Bugs. And Roger Rabbit is too much.

I love that movie though. It’s one of my favorites. Although I never really understood why Jessica—I mean, I love that they love each other. But I was always annoyed by him. He’s really irresponsible. I hate it when people are irresponsible. What are they doing together, Patty Cakes? Man, I bet there’s a lot of gross stuff you could look up on the internet.

When I was a kid, I used to tell my mom that I wanted Jessica Rabbit’s dress to be my wedding dress. I see nothing wrong with that. A few years ago, Jessica Biel went on Weekend Update dressed as Jessica Rabbit, and first of all, I was like, Yes. Accurate. So sexual and gorgeous. But then I was like, this dress can work in real life. Then again, I guess you have to be Jessica Biel. Truly, so hot.

You’re working on a book. Angeleno you’d ask to write the foreword? Miranda July. She’s the smartest, most beautiful mind in the world. But what if I was like, “Eric Garcetti.” By the way, I don’t know much about Eric Garcetti, but I will say that I think his voice is very sexy. I am truly turned on by Eric Garcetti’s gorgeous voice. He has the Justin Trudeau of voices.

He’s the voice of LAX! I know! Every time he’s like, “Hi, I’m…” I’m like, “HI I AM TOO.” It’s funny, Jerry Brown’s voice is like rocks being jangled around in a bag. I’m super happy about how much he cares about our environment, but his voice is super gravelly.

Eric Garcetti should voice your audiobook. Oh, my God, can you imagine?

You like to bake, yes? I do. I love it.

It also seems like you smoked a lot of weed in college. It’s something that continues to occur.

If you made a dream edible, what would it be? The thing about edibles is, I always do them wrong. I always eat too much. I forget it’s not a normal candy, and then I freak out. So if I were to make one, it might be cool to make a very gentle weed soda. Those Bliss vapes are also very nice.

Some of those were mailed to my office, and I have never seen my coworkers fight over something more. They’re really nice. The one thing that I forget is that you can’t use them in an airport. I did it once. It was an innocent mistake. I smoked it in the bathroom stall, and I slowly blew the vape into my shirt, and I was like, “I’m gunna be arrested.” But I wasn’t. I lived to tell the tale.

Character from your career that you’d want to be stuck on the 405 with? I’ve had the pleasure to play a lot of people who are really annoying. Like, you don’t want to be stuck in traffic with Mona Lisa. She’s literally the worst. So probably Marcel the Shell. He’d have so many observations. What people like to drive, their faces. What we’re listening to. I like the way that he observes. It’s very soothing. Sometimes when I don’t feel good about myself, I observe things the way Marcel does to remind myself that that aspect is actually within me. He reminds you to watch and listen.

You’ve voiced a lot of animal characters in your career. Non-publicist-approved name for your pet hotel? Pussy House. It’s a cat hotel. But I don’t want to go. I don’t like cats.

I read that you were on the speech team in high school. Is that something that requires you to present a closing argument? No, speech team was taking a play, whittling it down to ten minutes, and doing all the characters. And I was incredibly competitive. I was state champion four years in a row, New England champion three years in a row, ranked eighth nationally, and I went to nationals three times—no, I went to nationals two times. The third time I refused to go because I wanted to go to grad parties instead, because I finally felt OK about myself, and I knew that I could make out with people. I only did speech team to get into college because I wasn’t good at sports. I liked it, but I also knew it was my ticket out.

How many people have said that sentence: “Speech team was my ticket out”? It was my ticket out, though! But I liked the thrill of the competition. It’s turbo-dorky and really fun, and I did love it, and I was completely dedicated to it. I wore a full Talbot’s suit. I looked like I was going to divorce mediation, or synagogue in 1993.

Ok, so: Movie set in Los Angeles you’d perform in a speech competition? Oh my God. What a good question. Who Framed Roger Rabbit, of course. I would be most excited to be Jessica. I’d also love to be what’s his name, with the Dip? Christopher Lloyd. Would be really pumped to be him. Another movie I’d like to do in that respect would be Babe. “That’ll do, pig” is what I say to myself after I put on my makeup and I’m ready to go out. Not really. But that’d be so great.

Pick a hype man: Nick Kroll or Nick Offerman. Pfff. If you pick Offerman, you’re gunna get one type of show. If you pick Kroll, you’re gunna get another. I guess you have to know your audience. Let’s say I was performing at an outdoor festival filled with people who like to work with wood. Then I would pick Mr. Offerman. Let’s say I was performing at a synagogue filled with people who are going to synagogue. Then I would choose Kroll. This feels bad and hard to choose. Can’t they do it together? Can’t we give these white men a chance? Aren’t they being marginalized?! [Laughs.] I would choose both. If you’re going to have me minimize them in an offensive way, which I won’t, I choose both.

Celebrity you’d Face Swap with for a day? Justin Trudeau. But if I can’t get Justin Trudeau, Yoko Ono.

RELATED: Kevin Smith Almost Died, Became a Vegan, and Still Podcasts Every Week for You

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Source: https://www.lamag.com/culturefiles/jenny-slate/