#wife turret

[remylion]

wife turret and animal king turret my beloved

[mudshadow]

judgement / two of cups

my full pieces for @turrettarot! both from early 2023

[ikilledtvguy]

beautiful women in your area

[bearionette]

Sorry for the lack of art I’ve been drawing references for art fight! Take this in the meantime

[empyreansentinel]

hey can we talk about how after angel accidentally kills her mother with a turret jack. continues to make her kill things. because. uhm.

[grey-birdy]

Humanization of turrets from Portal 2

My favorite turret! 🖤

"Time to watch the master!"

I shipping them... 😭🖤

[vgtrackbracket]

Video Game Track Bracket Round 5

Want You Gone from Portal 2

vs.

Turret Wife Serenade from Portal 2

Propaganda under the cut. If you want your propaganda reblogged and added to future polls, please tag it as propaganda or otherwise indicate this!

Want You Gone:

better than even Still Alive, fight me on that.

Turret Wife Serenade:

silly little easter egg. the turrets were built to kill but here they are, sitting in a corner and singing forlornly

[gummirock]

turret wife in her turret wedding dress :) and bonus chell in a faux tux shirt

[fictional-at-heart]

So my brother and I have a sort of HTTYD World War II AU (it’s mainly our original characters, but Hiccup, Tuffnut, and Skulder are in there), and I just had to share a snippet we came up with tonight; we made the comment of how Hiccup and the Joneses wouldn’t smoke, but Stoick would, and Gobber? Well, he’d smoke like a fiend! He’d never be seen without a cigarette in his mouth:

Hiccup one day (sometime after the war ended), staring at Gobber:

Gobber: “What?”

Hiccup: “… how do you still have teeth? And lungs?”

Gobber: “Smokin’s good for the lungs! You know what I say: a pack a day keeps the doctor away!”

Hiccup, scoffing: “More like a pack a day calls the doctor…”

Gobber: “Oh, you’ve been spending too much time around those Jones boys.”

Stoick: “Their uncle was always the same way. Why, in the Great War-“

Hiccup, softly: “World War I…”

Stoick: “GREAT WAR, we were in the trenches one day, and every time I broke out a smoke, I’d feel his eyes on me. And sure enough, I look over and there he is. Staring at me, and I say ah! What’s it to you? And he says ‘you keep smoking them and it ain’t gonna be Germans that kill ya.’ So I told him it’s gonna be ripe old age! You know what he did? *clutches his chest and gasps* and then says ‘gonna be them smokes!”

[rambunctioustoons]

a creature mimics turrets to taunt you .

another magma doodle ✨

[goosewizard]

every time i listen to Turret Wife Serenade i cry. these little fucking killing machines !!! stuck together by a man who is losing his mind but trying his best !! starting to make noise!! they communicate !!! they make music !!! they perfect it !! its haunting !!! its beautiful !! they do it for themselves and no one else!!!! and its a wonder that you get to hear them at all!!!! they love you!!! theyre different!!! fuck!

[hoseoksmilehoya]

Just love to see the fandom coming together to make such important decisions

hello portal fandom can we name the fat turret gilbert

[mudshadow]

had the pleasure of being on board @turrettarot to make a couple of cards! do go check it out, some phenomenal arts going on over there- it's a project with a lot of love in it

proceeds for the project are going toward the Autistic Self Advocacy Network!

[nizaen]

if you pick her up you’ll have yourself a turret wife wow

[bearionette]

Thinking about how Chell could’ve had a turret wife. Kinda obsessed with it idk

[inkspiredwriting]

Playground Pandemonium

Five Hargreeves x reader

A/N: I imagine that five would be a great dad. But I also think that he is insecure and is sometimes afraid of becoming just like Reginald. What do you think?

Warnings: None

It was a rare sunny Saturday afternoon, and Five Hargreeves had finally found a day to spend entirely with his wife Y/n and their four-year-old daughter Maddie. They decided to make the most of it by visiting the local playground. Y/n, ever the planner, packed a picnic basket full of Maddie’s favorite snacks, while Five’s contribution was ensuring they arrived early enough to grab the best spot.

As they walked hand in hand through the park, Five scanned the area. “I haven’t been to a playground since, well, ever,” he admitted.

Y/n laughed, squeezing his hand. “You missed out on a quintessential part of childhood, Five. But don’t worry, Maddie will show you the ropes.”

Maddie, bouncing ahead of them with an infectious energy, turned around and called, “Come on, Daddy! You’re gonna love the swings!”

Maddie made a beeline for the swings, and Five found himself being roped into pushing her. “Higher, Daddy! Higher!” she shrieked with delight.

Five, slightly uncertain but determined not to disappoint, gave her a solid push. Maddie soared into the air, laughing gleefully.

“Careful, Five,” Y/n warned, settling on a nearby bench with a watchful eye. “We don’t want her launching into space.”

Five smirked, “I’ve seen worse launches.” He gave Maddie another push, but this time, his mind wandered to a particularly explosive time-travel incident.

Distracted, he pushed a bit too hard. Maddie shrieked—not in delight, but in mild terror—as she swung higher than intended. “Whoa! Okay, not that high!”

Y/n stifled a laugh as Five, looking mortified, rushed to catch the swing on its way back. “Sorry, kiddo,” he said, steadying her. “Daddy’s still learning the basics.”

Maddie giggled, her fear quickly forgotten. “It’s okay, Daddy. Just don’t push me into the future!”

After the swing incident, Maddie led them to the sandbox, where she promptly began constructing an elaborate sandcastle. Five and Y/n joined in, Five more reluctantly.

“Why does this remind me of building fortifications during the apocalypse?” Five muttered as he helped shape a sand wall.

Y/n chuckled. “Probably because you’re overthinking it. Just have fun!”

Maddie, her tongue poking out in concentration, sculpted a turret. “Look, Daddy! A tower!”

Five nodded, actually impressed. “Nice work, Maddie. It’s almost as secure as some of the bunkers I’ve seen.”

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully. “Maybe we can skip the part where it gets blown up by time-traveling assassins.”

As they worked, a group of kids approached, drawn by the impressive sandcastle. One boy, clearly the sandbox bully, sneered at their work. “That’s a silly castle,” he said, kicking sand at the base.

Five bristled, ready to give the kid a stern talking-to, but Y/n put a calming hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Five. Let Maddie handle it.”

Maddie stood up, glaring at the boy. “My Daddy can travel through time and fight bad guys. What can your daddy do?”

The boy, taken aback, mumbled something about his dad being a lawyer and scampered off. Five chuckled, giving Maddie a high five. “That’s my girl.”

Y/n called them over to the picnic blanket for snacks. As they sat down, Maddie’s excitement was palpable. “Can I have a juice box, Mommy?”

Y/n handed Maddie a juice box and gave Five a sandwich. “Try not to eat it too quickly,” she teased. “We don’t have a lot of supplies here.”

Five took a bite, nodding appreciatively. “Better than cockroaches.”

Just as they were settling in, a squirrel darted towards the picnic blanket, clearly eyeing their food. Maddie squealed, and Five immediately went into protective mode.

“Back off, rodent!” Five growled, standing up to chase the squirrel away.

The squirrel, unperturbed, grabbed a stray cookie and scampered up a tree. Five glared after it, shaking his fist. “This isn’t over!”

Y/n laughed, pulling him back down to the blanket. “I think we’ll survive without one cookie.”

Maddie, giggling, took a sip of her juice box. “Daddy, you’re so funny when you’re mad.”

Five sat down with a huff, brushing off the dirt. “I’m glad someone thinks so.”

The playground centerpiece was a tall slide, and Maddie insisted that her parents try it with her. Five eyed the slide warily. “Are you sure about this? I mean, what if—”

“No ‘what ifs,’ Five,” Y/n interrupted, grabbing his hand. “It’ll be fun!”

They climbed the ladder, Maddie leading the way. At the top, Five hesitated. “This is higher than it looks.”

Y/n, already halfway down the slide with Maddie, called back, “Don’t chicken out now!”

With a resigned sigh, Five sat at the top of the slide. “Here goes nothing.” He pushed off, the slide’s angle steeper than expected. As he hurtled down, his typically composed expression twisted into one of surprise.

He shot off the end of the slide, landing in an undignified heap on the ground. Maddie burst into laughter, running over to help him up. “That was awesome, Daddy!”

Y/n, laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes, helped him stand. “See? Fun!”

Five dusted himself off, trying to maintain some dignity. “Maybe for you.”

As the sun began to set, the Hargreeves family packed up their picnic and headed home. Maddie, tired from her day of adventure, held each of her parents’ hands, swinging between them.

“That was the best day ever!” she declared, beaming up at them.

Five, despite his usual stoicism, smiled down at her. “I’m glad you had fun, Maddie.”

Y/n leaned her head on Five’s shoulder as they walked. “You know, for someone who’s never been to a playground, you did pretty well.”

Five chuckled. “Well, I had a good teacher.”

As they reached their car, Maddie climbed into her seat, already half-asleep. Five and Y/n shared a look, both of them tired but happy.

“Same time next week?” Five asked, a twinkle in his eye.

Y/n laughed, kissing his cheek. “Absolutely. As long as you promise not to get into a fight with any more squirrels.”

Five grinned. “No promises.”

As the Hargreeves family drove home, the playground behind them, they couldn't help but smile. It was the perfect blend of laughter, love, and just a bit of Hargreeves-style mayhem.