#why you still in church praying [begging] like A Slave?

[harrelltut]

☥ I Don’t [I.D.] know about the rest of y’all Still sittin’ in church… but I BEE So Electrophysiologically [Spiritually] Ready for Mama’s Biblically Black [Ancient] Har [HARRELL] Ma~gedon on Earth [ME = U.S. Michael Harrell = TUT = JAH] like NOW [NWO]… MU:XIII Occult Illuminati ☥

[fookinfandoms]

Life Eternal | Hector Castlevania

Set before Dracula requested Hector’s services. Reader is believed to be a witch, but in reality she just doesn't care for human company.

Pairing: Hector x Reader

Warnings: Language, small mention of smut, mentions of animal death/resurrection. 

Part One.

_________________________________________________________________

They call you a witch, and you never bothered to correct them.

It was preposterous, you were nothing of the sort. You never really understood why the townspeople hated outsiders so much. It had been months since you had settled in, yet you couldn't get as much as a smile from your own neighbour.

There was one woman however that would spare you a few words, that is if you paid her some coin in exchange for her cooked goods.

Was it because you didn't attend church? Perhaps it was because you choose to remain in the company of your dog over the local women's group that congregated every Thursday. The people weren't friendly at all, and you often wondered if you made the right decision in moving to such a tight-knit community. 

You weren't the only outsider however. It had been three weeks after you had moved in when you saw him. 

He wasn't like the others here. 

He kept his head down, his voice to himself. Even when the people would throw abuse at him, he kept his eyes to the dirt. It both saddened and confused you, wondering why such was happening. He didn't look like some brute, nor some boisterous drunk... so why did they all hate him?

Finding the courage to ask the baker, she informed you that he dabbled in dark magic, and was often found talking to wild animals. He lived on the big hill, and she continued to babble on about how he was rumoured to bring animals back to life. This surprised you, and you asked for more information but she held her hand out for more coin.

It didn't bother you as much as it should, for you spoke mainly to animals too. Your small companion - a beagle named Rhubarb. He was your best friend and the only family you had left. He wasn't everyone’s cup of tea that's for sure, often stealing fish from the baskets from local fisherman. 

This was life. 

It was Rhubarb and you against the world, that is until you came home from your weekly trip to the market, having bought new blankets for the two of you when you found Rhubarb lying on the side of the road. 

He stayed unmoving, even after calling his name twice. Rain poured down heavily, and you wondered why the silly dog hadn't run under a tree yet. You knelt down by his side, placing your basket by his head. 

He still didn't move, and your breath caught in your throat.

It took you some seconds to realise he wasn't breathing, and you screamed out in anguish at the sight. Your hands shook as you pulled his small, limp body into your arms, holding him in an embrace as you sob.

His fur was darkened in harsh line, and you knew someone had purposely run over him with a carriage. He knew better than to play on the road, but being an older dog, he wasn't as quick as he used to be. 

He was your life. 

Rhubarb still had years ahead of him, running past your feet and stealing fishes from baskets. Who would be so cruel to run over a dog? On purpose? 

The tears wouldn't stop falling. Was this your curse in life? Everyone you loved being taken away from you?

No. 

If there was a way to bring him back, you will have to try. 

You wrap Rhubarb in one of the new blankets, careful not move too quickly. There was only one destination on your mind, and you hoped the baker was right. The rain had soaked through your dress completely, clinging to you like a second skin.  

Your hair blew in the wind, tangling into a mess, and tiny sobs still escaped you as you cuddled your beloved friend in your arms. 

You weren't sure how long you had been walking for. Minutes? Hours? It felt like days by the way you shivered in the storm. In reality it had only been twenty minutes, but each step felt like an eternity. If this didn't work, you didn't know what you would do. 

The sky had long since turned dark, and you felt no fear as you walked. Finally, light could be seen ahead, and you silently prayed to whoever was listening that he was home. Lighting struck from behind you, and your breathing came out harshly as you trudged up the hill. 

You wouldn't be surprised if he couldn't hear your kicks against his front door over the sound of thunder. Your hands were full, and you were sure your toes would be bruised over how hard you kicked. 

The door didn't budge, and so you kicked again, over and over. 

The tears continued to fall, and desperation came out in small cries as your arms grew weak from the heavy weight. 

“Please,” You yell out. “I know you're in there! Please!”

The door finally opens, nearly causing you to lose balance. He stands in front of you, face full of anger at the intrusion. 

“What the bloody hell do you want?” He peers down at you in confusion, his eyes staring into yours. If it weren’t for the fact you were currently shivering and holding your deceased dog in hand, you would’ve said something about his unique appearance. “Well?”

“Y-you have to help me,” You held Rhubarb closer to you. “They s-said you could help!”

The man pays no attention to the bundle in your arms, instead choosing to shut the door. He doesn’t get the chance however, as your foot wedges itself before it could close.

“What are yo-“

“He didnt deserve this!” You cry, ignoring the pain shooting up your leg at the sharp movement. The rain pours even harder, and there’s not one part of you dry.

“He?” The man questions, and instead of replying, you peel back an edge of the blanket, revealing a limp paw.

His eyes narrow slightly, before he looks back to you. “What are you asking of me here?”

“I think you know exactly what I’m asking.”

“The last time I helped somebody,” He shakes his head. “It didn’t work in my favour. Leave.”

“I will pay you anything, I will slave away in the kitchens if I have too,” Begging was your last resort. “I will give you myself for Christ’s sake! Just please help him!”

He sighs, his head looking towards the ceiling as if in deep thought before letting the door open again. He steps aside, signalling for you to enter. You do so quickly, immediately feeling better at the warmth. It didn’t help that your clothes were completely drenched. Gods, you probably did look like a witch right now.

“Well?” The man says from behind you, and you turn your head. His arms are outstretched, asking for you to pass the animal over.

Your teeth clatter as you shiver yet again, but you gently pass Rhubarb over to the stranger. He takes him with as much care, and your hands immediately begin to rub at your upper arms for warmth.

He begins to walk away, further into the house and you follow suit. A cat runs past your feet as you pass through a hallway, and it’s then you notice half her face missing. It surprises you to find that you’re not scared, and the further you look around the more you begin to notice plenty more pets.

“Don’t pay them any mind, they won’t harm you.” The stranger mumbles ahead, and you whip your head in his direction.

“I’m not worried, they seem pleasant.” Your tone matches his, and he chuckles. He stops, turning his head around with a forced grin.

“Pleasant. They’re dead. They don’t like strangers, so don’t get too comfortab-“ As if on cue, another cat rubs their head against your leg, and the stranger frowns. “Well that’s new.”

“Most animals like me, even the dead ones I guess.” You shrug, bending down to pet the cats head. It’s stomach is exposed, and your heart aches knowing the animal must’ve suffered before meeting the magic man.

“And this one?” He nods towards the bundle in his arms, and your bottom lip quivers. He begins to walk again, and you wipe away a stray tear.

“T-that’s Rhubarb,” You stand, following once more. “I’ve had him since I was young.”

“So old age got him then.”

“No,” The man was taken back by the sudden change of your tone. “Someone in the town killed him on purpose, they don’t like me and they certainly didn’t like him.”

“Bastards.” His jaw clenched at the news.

“I guess it was easier to kill my boy than it was to kill me.” He nods in agreement.

“They’re scum, all of them.”

It was your turn to nod. Finally the two of you came to a room, a stone table laying in the centre. Various knives stood at the side, and your stomach dropped.

As if sending your unease, the man shakes his head. “I’m a forge master, there is no need to worry about those.”

It didn’t exactly help calm your nerves, but realising the man was actually a forge master and not some magician made more sense. Forge masters weren’t exactly liked in the world, much to your confusion.

“I’m Hector,” Hector places Rhubard down on the table, removing the blanket off of him. “And you are?”

“(Y/N),” You stood in the back as Hector moved around. His movements were graceful, and your chest tightened at the site of your beloved pet. “I moved here recently.”

He chuckes. “I thought as much, we don’t get many of your kind here.”

“My kind?” The air turned colder by the second, and you slowly made your way to the fireplace in an attempt to warm up, keeping your eyes on the forgemaster.

“Good-hearted.” His hands rest of Rhubarbs stomach, petting him as if he were alive.

“How do you know I’m good hearted? I don’t think even forgemasters can read souls.”

“You offered me your body in exchange for your dogs life,” He looks back at you with a genuine smile. “Not many people would do that. No sane person at least.”

“Most sane people have others in their life to keep them as such, I only have him.”

“Well let me just say that there will be no need for such payment, I can see you care deeply for him.” Hector reaches for a peculiar shaped coins. “But you may want to look away, it gets quite bright.”

You do as he says, choosing to look at the fire. The room grows dark as Hector works, and you close your eyes, silently hoping for success. Minutes go by, the sound of metal on metal ringing through your ears as you breathe out quickly.

The ringing continues for sometime, before the whole room goes quiet. The only sound heard is the cracking of the fire, that is until a familiar bark startles you.

Your eyes open, and you’re met immediately with a beagle at your feet, jumping onto his hind legs in an attempt to climb on you. You fall to your knees, your arms surrounding Rhubarb as he licks at your cheeks. His eyes are no longer a dark brown, instead a shimmering blue. You didn’t care, all that mattered now was that he was alive.

“Oh my darling boy,” You cried, letting the small dog climb into your lap. “My sweet, sweet boy.”

Hector wipes his hands with a clothe, before clearing his throat.

“You have to let me pay you somehow,” You sniff as Rhubarb continues whining for attention. “You have a gift Hector.”

“Others don’t think so.” He laughs, throwing the clothe onto the table.

“The others can go jump off a cliff for all I care,” The beagle in your lap jumps away, turning his attention to Hector for pats. “You saved him, that matters to me.”

“Yes well right now you’re getting my floorboards wet,” Hector kneels down to Rhubarbs level. “So if you’re wanting to pay me somehow, you can pay me but dressing into something more comfortable and staying.”

Your stomach drops at his words, and as if realising his own innuendo, he stumbles over his next words.

“N-no not like that! I just m-mean it’s too dangerous to return home right n-now,” Hector coughs, his cheeks turning a small tinge of pink. “You know with the storm in all, and it would’ve been a w-waste of both our efforts tonight.”

In just a span of a few minutes, Hector went from a cocky forgemaster to a blubbering mess. It made you giggle, and he releases a few small chuckles himself as he scratches the back of his neck.

“Alright, I’ll stay.”

[pamphletstoinspire]

Third Sunday After Epiphany by Father Francis Xavier Weninger, 1876

“Lord, if Thou wilt, Thou canst make me clean.”–Matt. 8: 2.

The leper of whom we read in today’s Gospel believes that Christ has the power to heal him, and he is not mistaken; Christ, stretching forth His hand, said: “I will, be thou made clean!”

What leprosy is to the body, that sin is to the soul. Many of the children of the Church, many who call upon Jesus, are covered with this leprosy. They believe in His Power and Will to cleanse them from sin, and yet they are not cleansed, and why not? Because they do not earnestly will it.

It often happens that the sinner, while apparently desirous of conversion, has in reality not the will. And why? That is the question we shall answer today. O Mary, thou purest of the pure, pray that we may be filled with a true desire to be cleansed from the leprosy of sin, through Jesus Christ our Lord! I speak in the most holy name of Jesus, to the greater glory of God!

“Lord, if Thou wilt, Thou canst make me clean,” cried the leper. How much more natural it is for us children of the Church to address Christ in these words, since we know so much better than the leper in the Gospel who Jesus is, and why He came into the world.

The leper did not doubt that Christ possessed the power to heal him, but he was not certain of Christ’s willingness to perform a miracle. In regard to the leprosy of sin, we have no reason to doubt Christ’s willingness to cleanse us. For this He came into the world, for this He sacrificed Himself on the cross, for this He gave His blood and life, for this He established His Church. Do not the Apostles teach us to say: “I believe in the forgiveness of sins?” To give us a remedy against sin, Christ called us to His holy Church, freed us in baptism from the inherited leprosy of our nature, and gave us access to all the Sacraments, those fountains of grace for the purification of souls.

Verily then Jesus is willing. If we are not cleansed, in whom lies the fault? In ourselves. The sinner is wanting in real sincerity and in the earnest desire of being cleansed. And why? Because he feels his own misery too imperfectly. He is not sufficiently disgusted with sin; he is not thoroughly penetrated with fear at the consequences of sin.

The leper was disgusted with himself. Leprosy is, as is well known, a revolting disease, and everyone is careful to avoid those who are stricken with it. But what is such a disease compared to the disfigurement of sin, which makes us resemble Satan in repulsiveness? Not only mortal, but even venial sin is leprosy. Not a moral fault but is more disgusting to God than all the ulcers and sores in the whole world.

Could the sinner but see himself, were he aware of how his soul is deformed by sin, how intense would be his desire, how great his haste to go to Jesus and beg of Him to be cleansed. Unfortunately, the sinner is seldom thoroughly conscious of his deplorable state. He generally believes that his moral condition is not so bad, and, regarding his sins as human weaknesses, consoles himself with the thought that there are others who are worse. He fails to consider God’s horror of sin, the disgust of the angels and saints, who have reason to be ashamed of him if he regards himself in communion with them, or perhaps even calls them his brothers and his sisters. He does not realize that the sight of his sins drives away his guardian angel, all angels, in fact, and saints. He never thinks of the misfortune into which sin has precipitated him, robbing his good works of all merit, and rendering him unable to earn anything for heaven; how sin has opened the gates of hell, so that he is liable at any moment to fall into the abyss, where he must bewail in eternal torments those sins which he here committed with so little concern.

He who stains his soul with many venial sins can not consider how these prevent him from lessening the flow of divine grace, diminish his merits, how they augment the debt that is to be paid in purgatory. Moreover, he can not reflect on the danger his waywardness exposes him to of falling into grievous sin. The consequence of this thoughtlessness is that the sinner hastens not to seek Jesus, and to approach Him in the person of His minister to receive, after sincere repentance, the forgiveness of his transgressions.

Secondly.–The sinner goes to confession and apparently is desirous of being cleansed from the leprosy of his sin, but in reality he is very indifferent. How few of those to whom sin has become a habit–a class of sinners who especially resemble the leper–examine themselves conscientiously before confession on the number of their mortal sins and the circumstances that affect the nature of their transgressions. The leper feels day and night the misery of his disease, and knows every place where it has settled. The habitual sinner does not take the trouble to consider the evil of sin on his soul, and hardly deems it necessary to examine his conscience. Why? He is not really in earnest to be converted.

If it were a bodily illness he would immediately send for a physician, and explain minutely all the symptoms of his disease; but as the condition of his soul is a matter of little concern to him, he gives but a superficial account of its state, and not unfrequently makes a bad confession. It but seldom happens that a habitual sinner accuses himself fully and freely without aid from the priest. Jesus stretched out his hand and touched the leper. The priest should spiritually do the same to the sinner by his words, but as the sinner has not thoroughly opened his heart, the priest is not able to touch the affected parts and heal them by words of advice.

The sinner confesses, but he has not the earnest desire to make a frank and open declaration of his faults. He is satisfied with a lame, cursory accusation, hoping that the confessor will impart a speedy absolution, and not trouble him with many questions. He is not anxious about the future, how he may avoid relapses, anticipate temptations or combat them, when they do assault him, with effectual weapons.

The sinner, moreover, has not the determination to use the proper means to obtain grace and to advance in the ways of virtue, namely, prayer, spiritual reading, the reception of the Sacraments.

Happy are you, O sinner, if you are conscious that you are, earnest in your desire to be converted, to avoid all occasions of committing sin, and to resist temptations, so that you can truthfully say before Jesus and his minister: I will. Christ will say the same to you. And if you unite your will with His, do not doubt that you will be cleansed from the leprosy of your sin through Jesus Christ our Lord! Amen! 

THE LEPER–THE FAITH OF THE CENTURION

Once when Our Lord was coming down from a mountain, followed by a great crowd of people, He entered the city of Capharnaum. At the city gates there was a poor leper, who, bowing down profoundly, addressed Jesus and cried out: “Lord! if Thou wilt, Thou canst make me clean.”

Leprosy is a very filthy, disgusting disease. The whole body is covered with a false dry skin like scales, so that the person becomes a most hideous and loathsome object. In the East and in this country, too, leprosy is considered contagious, and the laws of sanitary boards separate people afflicted with it from those that are well, and will not allow lepers to come into the cities. This picture is but a very insignificant description of leprosy. You must see it to know how loathsome it really is.

When you read the description of leprosy think of that other kind of leprosy of the soul, for sin is the leprosy of the soul, and is as filthy and more so than the leprosy of the body. Yes, it is the leprosy of sin that makes the soul a horrible sight before God and the angels. The leprous souls that live in so many human bodies in cities and villages are not subject to any laws. They can remain where they please, and still we know that nothing is more contagious than the leprosy of sin. Thus it is that sin is continually growing and spreading, until we find it in every nook and corner of the world. How rare it is to find youths not infected with some vice or other! How few are untouched by this contagion, or who have preserved their baptismal innocence!

If you are already covered with the leprosy of sin, ah, then cry out: “Lord, you see how miserable my condition is! Heal me–cleanse me. You see that my mouth is infected because such bad words, blasphemies, and curses are continually flowing from it. You see, O Lord, that my body and my senses are infected with this terrible disease, for it induces the soul to commit the sins of impurity.” If you pray in this manner, humbly and confidently, you will hear in your soul the consoling words, “Yes, I will help you to overcome that vice. I will forgive you and give you the grace of remaining good.”

But Our Lord adds: “Go and show yourselves to the priest.” The priest is the minister of God. He will extend his hands over you, and you will be made whiter than snow. You will start up into a new life, in which you will acquire again the merits of your good actions, which would never have been any benefit to you unless you had thus repented. From slaves of Satan you will become adopted sons of God, co-heirs with Jesus Christ.

But remember well, my beloved children, that you must have a good will. St. Augustine says that God cures all evils, but only those which we really want to be cured.

The unhappy leper really wished to be healed, for he realized the sad condition he was in, and Jesus immediately extended His hand and touched him. We admire the power of Christ, for at once the whole body was healed. It was again full of vigor and health. Jesus did not give him time to burst out in sentiments of wonder, exultation or gratitude, but said: “See thou tell no man, but go, show thyself to the priest.” The man obeyed, and as he went he could not help letting people know what Jesus had done for him. The fame of this miracle spread about the country and drew many to look for help from Our Lord.

There was in Capharnaum a centurion, a soldier and a heathen, whose servant lay at the point of death. He came to Our Lord and laid his trouble before Him: “My servant lieth at home sick of the palsy, and is grievously tormented.” “I will come and heal him,” said Our Lord. But the centurion did not expect so great a favor; he repeated those admirable words: “Lord I am not worthy that Thou shouldst enter under my roof, but only say the word and my servant shall be healed.”

These words are so applicable to all poor sinners who are about to receive the visit of the Lord, that the Church has borrowed them and uses them three times when communion is to be given. “We should repeat them with a heart full of confusion, because even though we possessed the purity of an angel and the sanctity of John the Baptist, we would not be worthy to receive in our heart Our Lord Jesus. Therefore ought we do all in our power to be free from sin, that we might be the less unworthy to receive Jesus in the great Sacrament of His love.

There are few young people who are so impressed with the sublimity of this holy Sacrament that they approach it with sentiments of respect and veneration. On the contrary they generally go without proper dispositions. They do not endeavor to excite in themselves the sentiments of devotion and love of God which are required to make a good communion.

But there are many, too, who are unworthy to receive Jesus in their heart because their souls are blackened with crime. They defile their tongues with impure conversations, and they dare to receive on them the body of Christ. They defile their bodies with impurities and into these they dare to introduce the Holy of holies. They give scandal and they wish to receive Jesus.

They go to confession and if the priest refuse them absolution because he sees no signs of amendment, they go to another, who is easier, so that they may get through. How blind such young people are! They do not comprehend that they are making a bad communion.

Go, of course, frequently to communion, but do so with a pure heart, and free from sin, full of humility, reverence, and love. When the time approaches for communion, call on the angels, the archangels and all the holy spirits, and beg of them to accompany you to the banquet of Our Lord.

When Our Lord heard the humble words of the centurion He was struck with astonishment and said, “Amen, I say to you, I have not found so great a faith in Israel.” It was certainly a great act of faith, and that was the reason it drew on the centurion that commendation which the Lord seldom gave. The centurion trusted in the power and goodness of Our Lord. He knew, too, that it was not necessary for Our Lord to come to his house. He knew He was God, or at least had the power of God at His command. For this faith and trust Our Lord broke forth into unusual praise.

Even among faithful Christians it is rare to find those who really trust in God. They put trust in their friends, in their own smartness and strength, but they do not remember that they have a God at their command to whom they may go with all confidence. We trust too much to our friends in many things and even prefer them to God. Here is a young man who, meeting his companions, goes with them to lunch. It is Friday. The young man refuses to eat meat, but his companions persuade him. “Oh, eat it! What wrong can there be?” He yields, and the sin is committed.

Another meets a companion on the street. “Where are you going?” “To hear a sermon,” is the reply. “Oh, don’t be so foolish as to sit there to listen to such an insignificant preacher. That is good enough for doting old people or pious women. Come, let us go to the theatre. You will see nice things; you will laugh and be happier there than in church.” He goes out of friendship for his companion. He witnesses the derision of his religion, or immoral scenes; he sees many things that please the eye and stir his sensuality. He hears many improper things; his mind is filled with loose sayings and bad thoughts, and all this has happened simply to please a friend. You see then how obsequious you are to your friends, but of God and Christ you make no account.

When Our Lord had said the words of commendation to the centurion He added: “Many shall come from the east and the west and shall sit down with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven, but the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into the exterior darkness.” God is merciful to all; He calls all; but they must have the faith of the centurion. Then He turned again to the centurion and said, “Go, and as thou hast believed so be it done to thee.” That same moment the servant was healed, and when the centurion arrived home he found the man perfectly restored to health. Just reflect a moment on these words of Our Lord. “The children of the kingdom shall be cast out into the exterior darkness; there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” Terrible words; but which will prove as true to many Christians as they were to many of the Jews. Not a day passes but many infidels and idolaters come to the faith, are converted, and enter the kingdom of God, while many Christians born in the faith, brought up and educated in it, perish miserably in eternal damnation. A damned soul once returned to the earth and asked whether there were any good people still on earth, for he had seen such innumerable multitudes going to hell that he thought there could not be one left.

St. Bernard understood so well the misery of those who went to hell that he used to say, “If out of all the human race, who number thousands of millions of souls, it were known that only one was to go to hell, I would tremble with fear lest I should be that miserable one.” O, my dear young people, let us make up our minds that we will not be of the number of the wicked Christians who will lose their places in heaven which were marked out for them from all eternity had they remained faithful. Are we, the sons of the kingdom, we, the adopted sons of God, to be excluded from our future heritage in heaven and thrown out into darkness? Oh, since the Lord has been so good to us that we have received the grace of being born in a Christian family, let us beg also the grace to remain faithful to Christ and love Him so dearly that we may enter the heavenly kingdom which is ours by right. At the same time knowing that many places are left vacant in heaven by bad Christians, let us beg Our Lord to send His light to the east and west and bring many to occupy these seats of glory. 

[ramckinnley]

The streetlights were dim tonight, nothing new. The cities power grid had been awful for years now and the church was in an older part of town.

Father John Martin made the trek back to his Parish from the shelter he had been volunteering tonight. The stench of stale bread and body odor soaked into his vestments like blood into an old carpet. Walking up the steps leading to his rectory he noticed the lights had been shut off. He didn't remember switching them off and the power seemed to be on, albeit faint.

He tugged on the door open; it creaked and moaned open revealing a dark void. No color, no objectivity. Father Martin navigated the room through familiar instinct. Enroute to his sleeping chambers he passed his office, a quaint little place to catch up on paperwork and plan that weeks sermon. He has walked past it a million times before, lumbering the same tired shuffle...the enthusiasm lost years ago. Yet tonight the air seemed heavier, almost as if he was moving through a dense fog.

Straight to bed...none of the normal, habitual hygienic pleasantries tonight. No, this was a man far too exhausted to worry about such menial tasks. For tonight at least.

The fathers rest was short lived as the smell of smoke filled his nose like waves crashing in the ocean. He jumped out of bed, running desperately to escape the sweltering inferno. With each step he took, he could feel the air being drained from his lungs. Falling to the floor he peered a blurry gaze around him...no fire, no ash...not even a bit of smoke. Father Martin stood up, visibly baffled by the events that had just transpired.

Room to room he searched, checked, ventured. looking aimlessly, hopelessly for a shred of logic or reason. Perhaps he was merely having a dream that bled into his waking mind and confused him...yes, yes that must be it. Simply a dream.

Walking back toward his chambers, the priest glanced over into his office again. To his shock and fright, a small shadowed figure of a child sat on his desk, tapping her heels against the aged walnut. She appeared to be no older than 8 or 9 years old and her features became more noticeable as he entered the room. Her long blonde hair was pulled tightly into a braid, porcelain skin was tainted by the spatter of freckles across her nose and cheeks...her eyes were a color he had never seen before. Something beyond...

"...Jessica..." He chocked out in disbelief.

"Tunc suus 'experrectus es." She stated gently. "Ego erat exspectans."

"Waiting for what." the good father asked the rigid child.

"You." She perked up in distorted English. "I've been waiting for you."

A shiver ran up the priests spine as he heard the child's words. What was this child, surely she wasn't of this Earth.

"Foul demon, give me your name." A mighty bellow from the shaken priest.

"O quaeso, est ut vos have optimus. Infirmi agresti nationis Dei." The girl chuckled back.

"Your Latin is weak demon." Father Martin announced. "I command you back to hell!"

"Not my first language Padre." The girl laughed. "And Hell is no place for me...Hell is a vacation compared to me."

The priest staggered backward, a sharp pain ran up and down his legs. The smell of smoke returned and the sensation of heat scorched his body. fear enveloped Father Martin and he fell onto the floor. Looking up to the child, the universe seemed to shift...distort.

Father Martin's office became a swirling maw of chaos and despair. He couldn't see but a foot in front of his face or hear his own thoughts over the cacophony of discordant echos, screaming in all directions.

Suddenly a voice...not the voice of the child. not the voice before. It was something different...

John began to pray.

"N'ektar ver romshuma Martin. Your time is upon you." A deep growl gurgles deep within John's mind. "Here Priest...here in the Other, your worthless God is one of my many slaves. Damned to die, rot and be reborn until the sands run still. Praying to him now only increases his pain."

A wind howled through the maddening, impossible vortex. John was thrown back, his body hurled at speeds that seemed to defy physics. Disoriented, he lay crumpled over a large rock on a suspended platform in the middle of the inescapable blackness. A stiff wind cut through the priest like a spray from the ocean; constant, unrelenting.

"For everything you tried to be, for every lie you passed as real, for everytime they had to suffer through you." A moan came from the darkness.

John stood up, fists clenched screaming into the hallow void of indescribable eternity.

"I FEAR NO EVIL, YOU SHALL NOT CONQUER ME." His voice echoed into the timeless malevolent filth.

"Evil...maybe not." The sinister voice called from John's left. "You know evil well priest, but what of innocence, what of purity."

John swallowed hard, a quiver came over him as the acrid taste of decay filled his mouth. Looking down he saw his flesh boil and bubble and peel. A spume of puss and blood seethe from his newly opened wounds. Falling to his knees, John erupted with a howl of pain so ear shattering, the hollows couldn't contain out.

"It seems I have your attention." The voice called. "I was wondering when we could get down to business."

Whipping and lashing, a festering, slime covered tentacle shot around John's body from the depths. Tiny lancers pierce into his exposed flesh an hold him firmly in place while the ground beneath him dissolves.

The rope like appendage retracts into the time space vacuum at speeds fast enough to agonizingly liquefy John's bones. What felt like a torturous eternity was condensed into a mere second as the Father was transported into a small room. a room he had seen before.

Lilac walls with daisies painted in the corners, a dense berber rug and the scent of camomile and cane sugar enthralled the priest's senses. his body now intact, pain free and vibrant.

"...Jessica?" A woman's voice called from beyond the room. "Father Martin is here to see you."

The clatter of footsteps thundered into the room and ended in a deafening silence. the door slowly opened and John's mouth went slack as he watched himself enter the room. The scene grew cold and John felt a shiver run down his spine.

"Waaaaaaaatch." That brooding voice from the beyond cried inside John's mind.

The man, dressed in priests clothes who was in everyway Father John Martin walked over to a young girl of no more than eight or nine, crying at the foot of her bed. John remembered this moment...suddenly he understood why he was here.

"STOP, OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP!" John pleaded with this second version of himself, in vain.

"We cannot alter the past priest. We must atone for the transgressions we commit." The young girl spoke in a guttural tone. "Even a man of God isn't absolved from his unconscionable actions."

He watched in horror as he relived a dark moment in his past.

John shuddered as he watched himself run his hand up young Jessica's skirt, exposing himself to her and ultimately taking her innocence. A single tear left John's eye.

"I've changed..." He begged. "I'm not that man anymore."

"CHANGED?!" The dark voice became enraged. "YOU'VE CHANGED?"

In that instant John was taken to another scene. Another young vulnerable girl taken advantage of, desecrated, raped. Scene after scene, girl after girl. The flashes continued into the futures of these girls, these young women. A mural of drug abuse, abusive relationships, destroyed self worth and suicide became an all encompassing ocean of despair, depression and death.

"Change can only come through sacrifice, hardship and pain." The echo rang. "Your existence has proven only that you used any and all of the pithy authority you could command to further your sick desires and destroy the innocence around you."

John fell to his knees. The weight of a life erroneously lived, the lives tormented, the blood on his hands finally took its break.

"I'm...I'm sorry." He wept.

"You will be." It grunted

With that Father Martin fell through the room floor, cascading through a near infinite vortex for what felt like razor wire, acid and flame. As his skin was flayed, piece by piece, the filthy priest was forced to eat the rotting chunks. Maggot ridden muscle was exposed from underneath as he was torn apart slowly, agonizingly by a force unseen.

An intense pressure compacted his head from within. Unable to withstand the punishment, his eyes burst. Foaming vitreous gel saturated his face. the contents of his stomach erupted out from within him. Flesh and bone, bile and blood covered what remained of his body and ate away the remaining rotting husk as he was hurled into oblivion.

Suddenly John awoke, sitting straight up in bed. a cold sweat beading down his face, ready to vomit he ran to the washroom. Clutching the bowl, retching over and over.

"What...was...that...dream?! He pondered aloud as the vomiting slowed.

He stood up and left the bathroom, headed back to bed. Except this time as he passed by the office he closed the door. A simple enough action, but one that made him feel a thousand fold better.

Walking into his room he stopped dead staring breathless, lifeless, horrified at young Jessica staring back tapping her feet against the end of his bed. Eager to start her dream...her eternal revenge all over again.

© 2020 R.A. McKinnley

[danvssomethingorother]

Love is Blind

Summary: A reverse Omens AU, Crowley is the angel and Aziraphale is the demon with my little twists.

So I know this isn’t like amazing and is more bare bones AU summary then anything but i had all these details in my head this morning and threw this together, I’ll post it on A03 later and will probably edit it better and add more details when I post there.

---

Aziraphale was the only demon worth trusting, for that matter he was more trustworthy then any angel in heaven. He was the only one who would give him a straight answer and that’s what Crowley needed. Give him confirmation of the end times coming and how they could go about this.

He shot through the streets of London, Aziraphale wasn’t always easy to find. Right bastard he was, didn’t have a place to live, crashed with Crowley when he got tired of roaming. When those gluttonous instincts kicked in and he allowed Crowley to care for him. Crowley grit his teeth, like he deserved to be cared for.

Of course, just of course, it was Crowley’s rotten luck when he needed his beautiful blind bastard, he was on his stubborn streak.

:

Long before rumored Antichrists and the end nearing, there was a garden and an angel named Aziraphale.

He had seen humanity through its infancy and given away his sacred sword, no one the wiser of his crime.

He looked over humanity with wonder and love, despite the evils he had witnessed and felt on a personal level, he felt like a doting parent watching over them. Or maybe, more appropriately, an older sibling their mother had tasked with looking over them until they could be returned to her and her kingdom.

Humanity and his love for them would be the reason for his fall but he never gave up hope he too would be allowed to return home to his mother one day.

Her one true son had walked through the halls of hell as well and been allowed to return to her arms, he often prayed that same fate would be for him too.

She forgave all and that was the only thing that kept him going.

;

Crowley swerved to a halt in front of a rundown old church in the run down and dying part of Soho. He slammed the door shut of the Bentley and blessed the bum a crisp bill to keep sinful thoughts of touching his car while he attended to business. His demon was in here, he sensed him.

He stepped through the doors and heard him begging, praying like mortals do.

Crowley cringed, covering his scarf to his nose at the scent of searing flesh, Aziraphale must have been at this awhile. He got into these moods every hundred years or so and the result was always destructive, he would kneel on hollow grounds until it burned through his flesh leaving scars that would never heal. He would pray to their mother who never listened, he would beg to ears unwilling to listen, trying desperately to finally be forsaken. To finally be worthy for Crowley, who in his eyes would always be above him as a servant of the lord, what a laugh that was. Or it would be a laugh if it wasn’t hurting the only thing in these cosmos he loved.

Gently he took Aziraphale by the shoulders and forced him up, he smelt the blood and he smelled the burned flesh, it gagged him. It happened every single time Aziraphale was called back to Hell, Crowley would guide him into a better view of himself and just as swiftly, Hell would shatter it.

“My angel,” he whispered in his ears getting to stop mumbling in Latin, “We have much to discuss, leave this place with me?”

“My darling,” he sighed grasping Crowley’s hand tightly, “Please don’t lie in her presence.”

Crowley didn’t have the heart to tell him she barely existed in Heaven; it was unlikely she existed in a place such as this.

;

The flood was the first time Aziraphale had ever questioned, had ever felt doubt. Not in Her, never in Her, but in Heaven.  

He roamed the plains as the rain began to get stronger, it blurred his vision, but he would be fine. Even if his body died, he would be back. He couldn’t say the same for those not permitted in Noah’s Ark.

He looked upon families loading carts down, gathering belongings and coming together in a comradery he had never witnessed before. They weren’t just accepting fate as Heaven expected and they weren’t looting and murdering one another as the demon Ligur had snickered they would.

They were helping one another, helping each other pack, each using the others resources to leave this place and get everyone to safety.

Children and elderly and the sick loaded in carts drawn by livestock, supplies packed, and none of them seemed willing to even let their enemies stay behind to die, they were working together.

“It’s all pointless,” Ligur snickered once more taking a bite into an apple, stealing the precious little the humans had gathered, “Fruitless effort. All these souls will be in Hell before the morning sun that will never come.”

Aziraphale ignored the demon who had been following him, his one constant companion, helping an elderly woman back into the cart and giving the humans a safe route to the mountains.

He didn’t believe that. Even if they were going to die, he had to believe they were going home. Going home to their mother, going into her embrace. These weren’t evil souls; these were poor people who tried the best they could and only needed a helping hand.  

He would later ask Gabriel about the humans who fought so hard to survive and what became of their souls. He felt something crack hearing the archangels felt they weren’t pure enough to enter their kingdom, Ligur had been right.

;

“I had heard about the antichrist,” Aziraphale confirmed allowing Crowley to lead him into his record shop and up the stairs to his apartment they shared where all of Aziraphale’s books were cluttered.

“Who was assigned it?” Crowley pressed helping the demon sit down in his favorite sitting chair and easing his sunglasses from his pale face, revealing the empty sockets where eyes had once been.

His smoky black hair with grey peppered through it was in quite a state, it looked like he hadn’t bothered to brush the tangles out. His nails weren’t in their perfectly manicured state as they had been when he had last seen him, they were bitten down to nothing with dirt coating around them. Crowley held his hands, not minding the grime sitting down in front of his love, pressing his concern into him. Aziraphale would get better and then he would just stop caring and do this to himself.

His stomach was no longer round and soft, his clothes no longer pressed and clean, he was deathly thin and his clothing nothing more than beggars’ rags. He did this as some sort of punishment Crowley would never understand. Punishing himself for falling.

“Hastur was but he gave the duty of delivering the child to Ligur and Ligur, never a fan of child rearing, has asked me to lead the child down the dark path and finally prove myself as a demon.”

There was a lot unspoken in the silence, this was Aziraphale’s last chance to prove himself, if not for the arrangement he would have likely been disposed of by now and Gabriel would have likely found reason to call for Crowley’s falling.

“Do you mind running a bath darling? I am afraid I am getting you quite filthy.”

Crowley laughed but did what was asked of him. He had never known anything but serving others and had always hated it but taking care of Aziraphale had never felt like a chore.

;

After the rebellion, things had changed much for the worse in Heaven.

Unfortunately for Crowley, he had been in a group that it had hit the worse. He had been low level before but had been treated fairly before Lucifer began praising his gospel. Telling angels like him it could be better, but Crowley had been too cowardly in the end to give everything to his rebellion and after seeing the burning flesh and the severed wings and what became of the losers in this battle, how they were tortured before being thrown into the pits of darkness, he wasn’t about to step out of line again.

After the rebellion, he was reduced to nothing more then Heaven’s slave labor. Kept in line like the rest of the fear of falling and being disgraced. If that fear wasn’t enough, it wasn’t too uncommon for the likes of Sandalphon to lash those who spoke out of place, making it a public spectacle for anyone else who wanted to question Heaven’s Will.

If Crowley had a name before, he didn’t after the rebellion, he was referred to like the less of the lower angels as ‘Guardians’. And they were tasked with whatever the other angels wouldn’t take care of and treated as those bellow them.

He wouldn’t have a name until he met the former disgraced Principality. He would take over for in Rome who had taken to playfully calling him ‘Crawly’, the treacherous snake of Heaven who talked of the angels sinfully when they weren’t around to hear. He would later change that to Crowley, it was less demon like and as Aziraphale fell in love with him, he liked to distance him as much as he could from Hell.

;

“Why do you do this to yourself?”

Aziraphale was curled against Crowley in the bathtub, both soaking and neither up to rising to go back to business just yet. Crowley was carding his fingers through Aziraphale’s hair, shimmering black as night once more now that the curls were clean.

“Hell makes me feel my failures and sins,” he admitted, eyelids closed hiding the cruel fate Heaven itself had given him before tossing him out of their kingdom, “I never wanted to fall. I love her and I believe in Heaven still, I want to believe in good.”

“Hurting yerself isn’t going to do anyone any good, angel,” he chastised again, afraid to look down at the scars and burns on his legs and thighs from kneeling on hollow ground like he did.  

“A rational part of me knows that but there is something in me that feels like I must do something. I must prove my worth, show I have learned and am sorry.”

They didn’t say anything else; Crowley began reciting him one of his favorite Wilde stories, he knew it by heart he had read it to his love so often. It helped when he got like this, it helped Crowley concentrate on something else other then this.

;

“You must love my presence.”

Aziraphale ignored the demon, he didn’t even look in his direction as he helped a young mother load her cart and put the baby gently inside a basket, kissing it on the cheek blessing it with luck.

“They will damn you for this.”

Aziraphale still didn’t respond, checking the position of the sun, they had no time to waste. It would happen within days and they all needed to leave. He yelled to the crowd of the poor to take what they had loaded now and just leave with their lives.

They listened to him for they trusted him, he always had that effect on people, they trusted him despite the fact he was betraying Heaven.

Ligur sneered at him, tired of being ignored, knocking Aziraphale from the large rock he was standing upon as the last of the people in the neighborhood left, leaving their home of Sodom behind.

“Why do you save them?”

Aziraphale thought a moment, he could have said nothing he supposed, but he knew he would be seeing much much more of the demon soon for his actions.

“It is just. They are innocents. I can’t let them die like this, being smited for just existing. I couldn’t let the first borns die either in Egypt, I couldn’t let Adam and Eve be defenseless. They won’t understand, I know they won’t and maybe they are right, and I am wrong, but I cannot look on to suffering any longer, Ligur.”

Looking back, Aziraphale should have chose his words more appropriately, the other angels had a strange sense of justice when he repeated these words. He would never look onto suffering again, he would never look on to anything again.

;

Crowley had been chosen to take the Principality’s place after his fall, someone needed to walk among the mortals and bring in reports. Everyone else felt too good for such a role, so it fell on the shoulders of the Guardians, like everything else did.

Crowley tried to hide his utter pleasure at this, he was done living under the archangel’s feet and being worked to the bone doing things they didn’t wish to do. He was often forced to do these tasks as mortals did anyway just for the angels’ amusements, so it wouldn’t make much of a difference.

The corporal form took time to get used to, but he found he liked the concept of sleeping, of being allowed rest and time to just shut down.

He even got to take residence in a lovely villa in the Roman capital, not too different from the archangels’ quarters he often served.

He found himself quite liking alcohol, he even became a regular patron at a little tavern. He liked to play strange games he always lost and barely understood with the annoyed regulars.

It was on a day such as this he met Aziraphale, dressed in rags and filthy, walking into the tavern. He fumbled around, arms stretched forward, guiding him clumsily to the counter. He had an accent, not used to the language, inquiring about the nearest hotel.

Crowley took in his aura, it was demonic, he knew he should be afraid but he was more curious. He had to know if the rebellion was worth it, had to know if it was all better then this.

He grabbed the man by the shoulders and forced him to sit down with him.

“What’s it like being a demon?”

Aziraphale had given him a frown at that but shrugged as Crowley sat a glass of wine before him, he greedily took it, chugging it down.

“I will only tell you of that if you do me a favor.”

Crowley had nothing better to do for the day and agreed to it.

“Describe to me the sunset, it has been so long since I have taken it in and I miss it dearly.”

They became nearly inseparable after that.

;

“Heaven will win you know; it was always meant to be that way.”

Crowley curled tighter around Aziraphale, kissing his neck, trailing kisses down his poor deprived body. It had gotten so thin and deteriorated since he had left Crowley, he had worried he would be this way when he finally came back.  

“That would mean an eternity without you and I don’t think I could take it.”

Aziraphale chuckled, “You may call me angel but I haven’t been one in a very long time my love nor do I deserve the title.”

“You deserve it more then every bastard in Heaven,” Crowley growled pulling his love closer.

Aziraphale chuckled but didn’t argue, settling into sleep while Crowley held him and planned. He wasn’t losing this and going back to the way things were, they would stop the end or die trying.

[diego-hargreeve2]

light in the dark

Part Four 

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (Netflix)

Ship: Diego Hargreeves x Original Character

Warnings: Language, abuse (emotional and physical), mental illness, violence and, in later chapters, smut.

“How long have you lived here?”

It was Eve’s third visit to the basement boiler room Diego called a home, and she was helping – or attempting to help – him sharpen and clean the knives he wore. The conversation starter was primarily a way to distract herself from the fact that she was cleaning the steel of crusted blood that had once belonged to people and somehow, even knowing that they were criminals who had been out to cause pain, that felt weird. The only blood she had experience with was her own, which didn’t bother her in the slightest, and so she had assumed she was sufficiently strong stomached to cope – but whilst she certainly hadn’t fainted, Eve wasn’t exactly loving the blood aspect of the job.

“Three years now” he answered, inspecting the knives she had finished, his movements almost reverent as he studied the steel and put them away. Contrary to what some people might have thought he was not so attached to the harness or his blades that he slept with them. At least, not with all of them – keeping a weapon close to your bed just in case is just good sense.

“Before that?”

“Before that I rented a place. You gonna ask before that too?”

“Sure” Eve said with a shrug. She knew Diego left home at seventeen, ten years ago. And she knew what he was doing now. The decade in between was a mystery. With a roll of his eyes he picked up the whetstone, the edge in his voice when he spoke again as sharp as the one on the knife.

“I left home to join the police academy – I’d apply for their programme before I moved out. Enrolled with them, had to do a few years of study first. Realised it was bullshit so dropped out when I was twenty. Found a job in security and rented a place for a few years but it still wasn’t doing enough to help.  I was already training here sometimes. Got talking to Al. I wanted to quit the job but needed the pay. We figured out a deal, I stay here and do maintenance and cleaning around the place. Gave me my nights back so I could help deal with shitheads. That’s the whole story – happy?”.

Leaning forward she held out the knife in her hand, handle first toward him, waiting till he lifted his gaze first to it and then to her face. She sat in the chair cross legged, whilst he was on the floor, and it was an odd feeling to be looking down at him for once.

“I figured it might give me some tips” Eve told him gently, watching the tension around his shoulders ease at the explanation. Handing over the knife so he could critique her work she sat back up straight and reached for another, but her gaze stayed on him for a moment longer, using the time that he was focused elsewhere to study him before he looked up to speak and she acted busy.

“You want to rent somewhere” he said, his tone calm again.

“You think I live in homeless shelters as a fun lifestyle choice?” she asked. The more comfortable she grew with Diego, the more she was learning the banter, the way he used humour and the way she could match it – and he chuckled, appreciating this developing wit. When he first met Eve, she seemed so shy, and he had figured out that she was ignorant in some ways of the world and prone to slipping back into feeling socially awkward but seeing there was more to her then that was a development he enjoyed. He no longer checked in on her as a begrudging act as pity, as it had been when he returned initially.

“Hey, say it like its crazy, but you’re the first volunteering to leave that place and be back outside” he pointed out, balancing the dagger she had given him on the palm of his hand before nodding, satisfied with the edge Eve had given it. “So c’mon – I shared. Your turn”. Reaching up he took the dagger she was working on to steal her distraction tool. With a sign, she looked down at her now empty hands before beginning – the bitter tone of her voice betraying the influence he was having on her already in their friendship.

“I just couldn’t take it anymore. Because of being born out of nowhere – my whole life they treated me…like they expected I would turn into Satan if anyone turned their back for a moment. I thought…I thought I could try and show them it wasn’t true. For years. I tried – so hard”. Her voice cracked on those words. She had truly tried. Eve had spent as much time as anyone praying, had done all she could to be a model child within the guidelines laid down within – and the Sanctified Brethren of the Special Emissary, as they were named by their ‘leader,’ kept strict rules – and it had never ever been enough.

“They call everyone other than themselves unclean. That’s why they avoid the outside world so much. But sometimes family members came to try and get members to leave. Sarah’s grandparents – she agreed to go with them.  I begged them to take me out of that place too and they agreed. Found me a place in a shelter for victims of domestic violence”. Eve was quiet, staring down at the bitten mess that was her fingernails, remembering that first place. The strangeness of being treated with kindness and patience.

“That was…seven years ago. I’ve been moving along the States. Boise. Salt Lake City. Boulder. So on and so on. I found out about the Umbrella Academy when I was in Omaha and then I deliberately started heading East. You’ve already made it clear that was a terrible plan – no need to rehash it”.

“Why didn’t you just stay out there? If they found you help and stuff”.

“Yeah, yeah, I know that would make more sense.  But I just - I didn’t want people getting close. I thought…I worry about this stuff. I’ve got better control now, but I used to start fires accidentally. Living on the streets felt safer – if I stayed there, I might hurt them when they were just trying to help”.

There was silence for a moment, Eve staring at her bitten fingernails, Diego looking at the knife he turned around and around in his fingers idly.

“I don’t buy it” he said abruptly, gripping the knife and stopping its circling as he looked up. “That’s not why you kept moving” he told her. Eve blinked, stunned to silence. “You don’t do it to protect everyone else. You do it to protect yourself, Evie. So nobody ever gets close. Putting down roots would make you vulnerable, so you avoid it”.

There was a beat of silence, then Eve tipped her head.

“If that’s true…you only know it because you do the same thing, Diego”.

“Yeah, well. Shitty childhoods will do that to you. You think you’d have come out the Academy normal if the old man found you?”

“You think you’d have turned out normal raised as an omen of the Apocalypse in a religious cult?” she pointed out, raising an eyebrow. Two could play at that game and Diego seemed to sense that was what it was about to come, shifting and putting away the last knife.

“Our Dad just numbered us. He didn’t give us names, he had our Mom do it after he built her when we were four – and he never used our names”.

“I was named by the Elder of the Church for the woman who caused original sin and the downfall of humanity”.

“I was sold at birth; me and my siblings were purchased like novelty items. In a house the size of a city block, he gave us bedrooms the size of prison cells”.

“They made me sleep on a metal bedstead, locked in a concrete shed, from the age of five”.

“We were forced to live to a regimented timetable that gave us only a weekly half hour for what was deemed ‘fun and games’” Diego said, a note of confidence in his voice that he could match anything she offered. Smiling slightly, despite the morbid subject matter, Eve pulled her knees up to her chest.

“So that the Brethren could remain self-sufficient, we were put to work on the farm and in the fields as soon as we could be. Child labour – three-year-old slaves” she emphasised.

“To hone our powers, we were treated as experiments, forced to train daily and subject to constant observation”.

“The only education we had was Bible verses and basic maths so we could count enough to help with planting”.

“He risked our lives, sent us into dangerous missions whenever other people wanted. I got this scar at sixteen, and he told me to try harder and be more careful next time”.

“We were made to fast regularly, prayed on our knees till we were bruised and fainted, with no medical attention for injuries or illnesses”.

“He threw Klaus into a mausoleum and left him there with corpses for hours when he was thirteen. My brother has never been sober since”.

“Oh, so we’re not just talking us two? Our Elder stated God told him to multiply his family, that was the excuse he gave for marrying all the teenage girls once they turned thirteen” Eve said, the words spitting out of her with rage. Even before she left, she had known that was wrong, had been uncomfortable with his revelation – and since living she only grew more convinced. For a moment Diego halted, looking more horrified by that disclosure then anything else she had offered so far.  

“Shit – bastard! You were married?”

“No…I wasn’t worthy of his attention. Fucked up as that sounds, it makes me the only girl in the place who wasn’t a teenage rape victim. Still think you can win this game?” Eve pointed out, bitter – not from the lack of attention, but from the world she had been raised to think was normal and suffered in for two decades. “Or do we admit that with these childhoods we’re both losers?”

“Shit” Diego said, slumped a little, his lips falling open and mouth ajar as he turned to look at the wall. “Gotta hand it to you there – this game doesn’t have a winner”.

She had known since she read Vanya’s book that her childhood wouldn’t have been less fucked up if she had been one of the Academy, whereas how bad her background had been was news to Diego. For a moment both just sat there, digesting the sorrow that was their own lives, before he leaned forward and caught her hand.

“We escaped though. They might be dicks, but they didn’t break us”. Eve smiled, the expression clearing all the shadows from her face and she squeezed his fingers.

“Yeah. We did”.  

“So fuck ‘em. Right?”

“Right”.

He winked at her, the expression so full of charm she couldn’t help but blush.

“Atta girl”.

@lovinglydiego @klausbutgayer @reblogserpent @me125 @fatbottomedcurls

[woodworkingpastor]

The Last Harvest -- Matthew 21:33-46 -- Sunday, November 15, 2020

A parable that makes us squirm

I’ve learned a few things in 21 years of ministry; one of those lessons is that Brethren really hate this parable.

I suspect I understand why; Jesus doesn’t sound very “Christian” here, does he? Now I suppose we could find plenty of persons who aren’t made uncomfortable by this parable. We could find those who wish we drew harder lines between what is right and wrong—so long as they were the ones who got to do the drawing.  But parables like these cause us to squirm a bit in ways we might not want to squirm this morning.

But some theological squirming is good for us.  Assuming that my ministerial instincts are correct and a number of you would prefer a different parable, could it be that our discomfort with a text like this suggests a bit of universalism in our theology?  Do we believe (or at least want to believe) that everyone will be in Heaven, regardless?  If so, how do we explain unrepentant evil and outright rejection of Jesus?

Avoiding difficult passages because we don’t “like” them is a dangerous spiritual practice. Consider two details about this text before tuning it out or wishing I had just skipped over it.  The first is that text appears in the Lectionary. Had I chosen to follow the lectionary this fall, we would have encountered this text on Sunday, October 4. The church universal recognizes the importance of these words. We’re using it because it contains the word “harvest” and believe it has something to teach us.

The second detail is that this is one of only three parables that appear in Matthew, Mark, and Luke.  When the Gospel writers sat down to organize these stories of Jesus—something they did independently of one another—persons with living memory of Jesus and the apostles were beginning to die.  What stories should be included to nurture the faith commitments of the church? What did people most need to learn about Jesus? Interestingly, some of the most famous parables (like the Prodigal Son and the Good Samaritan) are only chosen by one of the Gospel writers.  But this parable (along with the Parables of the Sower and the Mustard Seed) were chosen by three authors.  

A parable with a history

If the Parable of the Wicked Tenants makes us uncomfortable, we can at least admit that we are in good company. This parable has a rich and interesting history, and it has to do with the way the parable is told. One important characteristic of parables is that they have one point, and the characters and other details of the parable exist to support that one point.  So, for instance, when Jesus told a parable about a woman who lost one of her ten silver coins, the point is that God is interested in finding lost things.  The other details of the parable—that she was in a house, or that she lit a lamp to search for the coin—aren’t important.  

But in this parable the little details are crucial to its context. If you look around at where this parable appears in Matthew, you’ll see that Jesus is in the temple, surrounded by priests and rabbis and others who took the maintenance and preservation of their faith very seriously.  Seizing the opportunity, Jesus is actually retelling another parable, one his hearers knew well.

The Parable of the Wicked Tenants is a remix of a parable recorded in Isaiah 5. Isaiah told a parable about a landowner who spends a fortune to build a vineyard. He bought the best land, he removed all of the rocks, built a watch tower, erected a fence of thick briars to keep predators away, hewed out a wine vat, and planted the very best grapes. In Isaiah’s parable the landowner does everything correctly, yet his vines produce only wild grapes.  The vineyard had been given every opportunity to do the very thing that was expected of it: grow good grapes.  That’s what it was there for.  And when it didn’t, the landowner plowed everything under.

It’s a parable about the unfaithfulness of the people of Israel to live as God’s special people.  The destruction of the vineyard is the threat of exile. Isaiah is warning the people to not be like the grapes in the parable.  God has always been interested in our lives bearing good fruit.  When we don’t bear good fruit, we are in spiritual peril.

This is a story that everyone in the temple that day would have known.  As soon as Jesus says,

There was a landowner who planted a vineyard

you have to think that the disciples are somewhere nearby rolling their eyes and saying, “Jesus, tell me you’re not going there…”  

But Jesus went there; he takes Isaiah’s parable and he offers a bit of a remix. The people of Jesus’ day were familiar with absentee landlords.  It could easily be that some of the people who heard Jesus tell this parable actually were hired hands themselves, working for an absentee landlord to whom they would eventually owe a certain amount of money or a certain amount of fruit. After the fruit had been harvested, the landowner would send someone to collect payment. They might not find it easy to pay the persons sent to collect payment. But they wouldn’t kill them.  

They would, however, have understood Jesus’ point.  The various slaves that the landowner sent to collect payment were the prophets of the Old Testament; persons whose messages begging the people to return to true faith went unheeded. The rejection of the prophetic warning led to their destruction as a nation.  The message of Isaiah 5 was never heeded.  

The stakes here are even higher.  Jesus’ charge is one that we recognize: that the religious leadership of his day had gotten to the point where they had given up on true faith. But now Jesus is the son sent to collect the proceeds from the harvest and they are the slaves who conspire against him. They had so hardened their hearts that they would eventually conspire to have Jesus put to death. But harvests will still happen. If this generation of people aren’t interested in bearing fruit, then others will be identified who will.  We might not like to dwell on things but we cannot avoid the truth: there will be a harvest, and we must take Jesus seriously.

Do we recognize ourselves?

This is where Jesus’ remix of Isaiah’s parable takes an interesting twist: God is still at work in Jesus.  Jesus adds a reference to a Psalm that is one of the most commonly quoted Psalms in the OT:

The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; this was the Lord’s doing, and it is amazing in our eyes.

Do we recognize ourselves in this parable?  It is always easier to take a harsh message of judgement like this and apply it to others. We all know people who we think need to repent, and we probably think we have a pretty good idea of why.  But this parable asks some questions of us:

Am I bearing fruit?

Is the Oak Grove congregation bearing fruit?

How are we tending the vines entrusted to us?

I’ve met with two other pastors almost every week for the last six or seven years for prayer.  Our group has expanded a bit in the last year; once a month or so a larger group of pastors gather.  Six of us went to Camp Bethel this past Tuesday afternoon for prayer and conversation. The specific focus of the larger gathering is to pray that the church will have a significant impact on the Roanoke Valley.

This group of pastors represent strong, healthy churches.  We come from various parts of the Roanoke Valley; we represent different denominations with different styles of worship.  Some of the congregations are less than 15 years old; others are over 100 years old.  But we have a common concern to see people recognize that in Jesus, “the stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.”  We want to see more churches reaching more people and recognizing a bigger harvest in our vineyards, so that when it comes time for God’s harvest, we will be found faithful and God will be glorified.

As we talked on Tuesday, one of the pastors asked a question:

How are churches in the Roanoke Valley impacting the lostness of our community?  

Are there more people in the Roanoke Valley who have a new and a growing relationship with Christ and the church this year as compared to last year?  Are there fewer lonely people?  Are there more children being adopted out of foster care? Are there more people finding deep relationships is a church-related small group?

Covid-related difficulties aside, we suspect that the answer is “no.”  Our churches do a lot of good work.  But the “lostness” seems to remain the same.

The difficult Parable of the Wicked Tenants offers us a lesson about the harvest, should we choose to take it.  How are we staying in touch with God to make sure we are obedient to what has been entrusted to us?

[dalyunministry]

Word Ministration

By. Calvin Nii Bannerman

TOPIC : HOPE FOR BROKEN THINGS

DATE : 17th July, 2020

🔰

Let us pray, Our Father who art in heaven, You are almighty and all powerful, we pray for mercy and compassion, forgive us our sins, as I minister Father let my speech and words not be enticing words of man's wisdom but with the Spirit and power, Holy Spirit lead us to Jesus Christ our master, in Jesus name I pray Amen.

Mark 4:35-41 And the same day, when the even was come, he saith unto them, Let us pass over unto the other side. And when they had sent away the multitude, they took him even as he was in the ship. And there were also with him other little ships. And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?

And they feared exceedingly, and said one to another, What manner of man is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?

Mark 5:1-14 And they came over unto the other side of the sea, into the country of the Gadarenes. And when he was come out of the ship, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit,

Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains: Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him. And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones. But when he saw Jesus afar off, he ran and worshipped him, And cried with a loud voice, and said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of the most high God? I adjure thee by God, that thou torment me not.

For he said unto him, Come out of the man, thou unclean spirit. And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many. And he besought him much that he would not send them away out of the country. Now there was there nigh unto the mountains a great herd of swine feeding.

And all the devils besought him, saying, Send us into the swine, that we may enter into them. And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea, (they were about two thousand;) and were choked in the sea. And they that fed the swine fled, and told it in the city, and in the country. And they went out to see what it was that was done.

The Bible teaches us there's such a thing called demons and these demons have such a tremendous powers and influence in our world today , here the disciples with Jesus Christ saw a wreck of a human soul

Matthew 16:26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

Jesus Christ was comparing the world with a soul, He said your soul is more valuable than all the rest of the world put together, how can that be, all the money, all the wealth that is in this world is not as valuable in the sight of God as your soul.

Your soul is that part of you that lives forever when you were born , you were born a living soul, a living spirit and that part of us is going to live forever nothing we can do about it, man was born to live forever, man's eternal home could be hell or heaven but we're going to live and it's up to us to choose which road we are going to take.

Jesus said there are 2 roads , there's a broad road that leads to destruction and there's a narrow road that leads to life eternal and we have to make a choice. This man was separated from God , you may have everything cars, money and wealth but deep down in you, you may not have Christ, eventually the devil will pay you off because you have neglected Christ and turn your life over to the devil, even though you didn't mean to but you did it by neglect, you're in torment, your conscience is in torment.

Back to the story this man was possessed with an unclean spirit, the bible teaches that there are demons that can possess a person and he was living among the dead and this man was possessed with an unclean spirit and he lives in other people, he was spiritual dead. A rich man will say Christianity is for the poor people , an intellectual man will say it is for the uneducated the common man will say I can't understand it, but let me tell you someday you'll account to God on the judgement day, every knee shall bow to Jesus and every tongue will confess to Jesus that He's the Lord, whether you like it or not someday you'll bow to Him.

Jesus moved among both group the rich, the poor and the educated, He was not afraid always loving, always tendering and He asked this man what is your name ?

And the demon answered back, my name is legion because there are many of us that occupy this man's life and heart and there are many demons today, demon of sex pervertion, demon of lies and anger etc

If you yield to the lust of the fresh you become slave to sin, Jesus with a voice of authority said to the demon come out of the man. He uses the same voice to the voice that calm the storm is what He used and at once the demon came out of him and at once a change took place out of that man and there was 3 prayers that was prayed in this story, only one was answered

The first prayer came from the demons, there was pigs or swines that were feeding and the demons said to Jesus send us into the swine, if the demons didn't want to go back to hell then I thought to my that place must be awful, one of a strangest prayers ever answered.

If the demons begged Jesus not to go back to hell then it is a lesson for us humans, Hell is the separation from God, you can have hell on earth, some people may be living in hell on earth because they have been separated from God, God loves you, Jesus loves you because He died on the cross for you.

The second prayer was the peoples prayer they rushed into the city to report that an awful catastrophe have befallen them that's where they make their living from ,they saw a transform man but all they can think of is their money, they begged Christ to live their country, here Jesus was ready to bring peace and salvation to the whole area but they were more interested in money and material things and this is true today there are many people who do not want Christ, there are people who go to church and they don't the pastor to mention sin or hell or the blood that was shed on the cross, they don't want to repent and recieve Christ as their savio. Today is the best time to receive Him again into your heart , come while He's able.

Those people who don't want Christ are like drowning man who don't want a life jacket , you cannot come to Christ unless the Holy Spirit brings you to Christ you better come while you can

Just say this YES LORD JESUS, COME INTO MY HEART FORGIVE MY SINS . I RECEIVE YOU INTO MY HEART BY FAITH , if you do that HE will come into your heart because HE loves you SHALOM

Thank you for the opportunity God bless you.

[harrelltut]

☥ since I Already BEE My Mama’s Most Crucified [MC = Maestro] Black Christ [B.C.] on Earth… I’mma Meditatively Achieve [MA] My MOST HIGHEST [MH = JAH] LEVEL of SPIRITUAL ATTAINMENT [SA = SANTERÍA] like Archangel SATAN since I BEE So Angelically DEMONIC + Electrophysiologically [Spiritually] SATANIC like A Primitive Congo Afrikkan [CA] Spirit of QUANTUM Black Occult Technology [BOT] Intel that Shall Algorithmically DESTROY ALL useless TELEVISED govments on earth… MU:13 Occult Illuminati ☥

[elegant-etienne]

Prompt #18: Self-control

You are eleven, and you have decided not to smile. It was your mother's idea, though she doesn't realize it. She said, "You would have learned sooner or later that it's never a good idea to let a man think you like him too much." You are eleven, and you make a conscious decision, because you think it will protect you. But to quiet the happiness, before you know it, you have quieted everything.

Over the years-- The Church talks of sin and duty. The Church preaches restraint. The Church calls for you to confess, and you say, "I am a sinner."

When a man of the church asks you, hanging out of a window, if you are happy - You say, unsmiling, "Yes."

Behind the cut: some abuse apologism and some blood and muuuuuurder

You are thirteen, and Mama Adelie says, running a comb through your hair, "Someday you will be happy again, darling, I promise you. It's alright to be there, in this sadness - for however long you need to be. But please don't frighten us like that again."

And you think, maybe you can't smile but you should shout at her. Tell her what's really happening. Tell her that it's too late.

"I'm going to get us out of here," Mama Adelie promises, and she comes so very, very close to doing it. She tries, and on the day she leaves, she begs you to smile because you'll see each other again. She'll send you the money for a chocobo porter to fly you out, and you can be together. Whenever you decide. You don't say a word. You don't cry. And you don't smile.

And you don't see her again. The snow comes.

Never let a man think you like him too much. Oh, some men just hate that. They want you to laugh at their jokes, and it becomes a game of sport to you to find ways to flatter and smooth and tease without batting your eyelashes. You learn the art of making other people feel important and interesting.

When you are quiet, when you hardly make any expressions, people like to paint theirs onto yours. That's fine. You paint on your own face every day.

"I think I smiled four or five times today," you say on your wedding night, smiling and tired and happy and so, so ready for the sort of embrace that will soon follow, "And sometimes not at you - I apologize, dear husband."

You are 27. You'll be 28 the sun after next. You arranged it that way, you think - surely a week away is enough time for both your birthday and your wedding. Surely he can mute the linkpearl that long, for you to be together. Surely the company can handle its own disasters that long.

An icicle of dread enters your heart as you recall, "And I smiled once the day before, too, at a man."

He loves you. He's never been angry with you, and he isn't tonight. He's married you, that means he wants you forever. He understands your anxiety and dread, understands why it is hard for you to smile. He's patient. Too good for you, really - you had to snatch him up quick before he realized his mistake. You smile at him. For a little while, you truly believe that one person can complete another, and you will be safe in your happiness, so you loosen your clutch on your emotions little by little.

"Warm my hands," you often ask him, and he does. You're a little warmer.

It won't be that long before he leaves you cold.

You are 26, and sealing a void gate. Simple work, really, though they don't send every apprentice from the guild out after such tasks. Beneath the tear in the world lay the exposed muscles and quivering flesh of nothingness, a living sea. It smells a bit of sulfur. This, you think, is what desire brings you. This is what caring so much has brought these men. They have called the pulsing things from beyond, and let the monsters settle behind their eyes. This is sin. If you want too much, too strongly, if you clutch too hard, the void will hear it.

In the Quicksand that night, you scoff at love, at fucking - at all the human games. You are in control. Not free of sin but free of passion, free of attachment. No one could ever hurt you by caring, no need could ever consume your life so much that you would rip yourself free of all sanity and surrender to that nothingness. It is need that brought these men to ruin, and you are so lucky you need nothing. Except, paradoxically--

You need to remain in control.

"I don't see why you're so angry. It was a business arrangement."

"I was helpless to do anything, you had to have known. I was so frightened. It's not as though I smiled or said a word to you! You have to have known it was wrong! All I wish is to understand why!"

"We are all of us slaves to our urges. We are creatures of sin, which is why we are so unworthy of Halone. But I have spent my life trying to be worthy. That is the point, isn't it? The struggle to be worthy!"

"Can you at least say that it stopped with me? Answer me, or so help me - You’ll face Halone before you have a chance to repent! You’ll make a murderer of me!"

"Can’t you see that I’ve grown old? I pose no threat to anyone now. And you - you’ve grown into a fine mage. Such beautiful robes. You turned out alright with the money you got. I have nothing to offer you, nothing I could do to make it right. Would you kill a broken, pitiful old man?”

You are 27, and every wall in place splits. You feel the tear as you push yourself beyond what your aether pool holds, feel your heart clench still briefly as you find the rest of the hatred required - your own boiling blood and seething fear, the blinding white heat of your hopeless despair, and you cast the spell.

We are all of us slaves to our urges. You transmute the heat to cold, and after the warm gush of blood from your nose, well, you never really feel warm again.

You ought to have told him, no, you have not moved on. You never move on from anything. You ice it over, crush it down in your heart, and nurse it like a devilish concoction.

After that, it’s so hard to keep warm. But you ask for your husband’s hand a few moons later, hoping, trying.

At 28, you are losing a battle against each hairline fracture in wall. It never got bricked up proper after you broke through, and it is a battle of lost territory. You can’t gain back the control you had before, you hadn’t realized how much you lost in the first place. Ceded to your husband. Given willingly to friends. Too many people know you now. You've been crying a lot, at the worst moments. You fear the power of the anger that risks welling up, so you stuff it down.

Harder to control are those moments you wish to smile, or laugh.

Everything in your life has been so quiet, so muted. To laugh, even a little - the sort of laugh you cover up quickly and pray no one comments on - it brings such color to your world.

It's warmer. Empty and quiet sometimes, but sometimes bright and lively, and sometimes, so busy and warm. It scares the shite out of you.

[nathaniel-g-blog]

What saith the Lord?

“If you extract the precious from the worthless, you will become My spokesman.” 

- Jeremiah 15:19, as cited on the first page of John Bevere’s Thus Saith The Lord? How to know when God is speaking to you through another

“Watch out for fake heads deviled disguised men Arriving from the dawn and spawned with ill forms That'll leave you laying dead in the womb like stillborns” 

- Jedi Mind Tricks, “Heavenly Divine,” from the album Violent by Design

“We must put the DDT which destroys parasites, the bearers of disease, on the same level as the Christian religion which wages war on embryonic heresies and instincts, and on evil as yet unborn.” 

-Frantz Fanon in The Wretched of the Earth

This summer I begged Gillian Rose to tell me what to do. I had learned to disavow the desire to be seen as, to see myself as, a good person. I still wanted to create the conditions under which I could give birth to the person I wanted to be, and I wanted her to show me how. I also prayed. Answers were not forthcoming. Prophecy was contentious in my parents’ church tradition. Was it is about the future or the present? The present in light of the future or the future in light of the present? Was biblical prophecy primarily concerned with things to come or things which have already happened? Perhaps most importantly, how and through whom could God’s will be expressed with the opening qualifier “thus saith the Lord?” One of the first and only theological arguments I had with the woman I married was regarding slavery. I thought Christians should consider themselves slaves, with God as our master. This was non-negotiable. I was God’s property, and that meant desiring earnestly to perform mastery. I couldn’t become God, but I could become his messenger. The thought was enthralling. To desire mastery while insisting that you are a slave. The pleasure of power for those who have disavowed both. The structure of antagonism. I have heard enough parents tell me that they love the children they are abusing to suspect that reality itself is dysphoric. It is not that our desires don’t match onto the desires of others but that, as Paul observed, we do not even want the things we want. Our children, our bodies, our relations do not match themselves or what we think we need from them. We do not understand. Prophecy announced that things are not as they should be. This seemed to match my experience. All that was left to be adjudicated was how things are, how they should be, and the nature of their possible relation. One crude reading was that the way things are is the way we want them to be, the way they should be is how God wants them to be, and the nature of their relation is submission. I didn’t know anyone who wanted things to be the way they are. If we wanted to want something different, we had to remember that God had ordained the world as it actually was. Everything defined by its opposite, non-identical even with itself. The split in reality as the contest between what God wants and what we want. Sometimes the only way to know what God wants is to work backwards, to counterpose what we think as its obvious opposite. What do we actually want? This remains a mystery because our only concern is what God wants. The split exists as a projection, not covering over an underlying unity but positing one, the hope that we can once for all rid the world of its instability, that God can rid us of ourselves. We only wanted the things that God wanted; as it turned out we did not want anything at all. This year I realized that some patterns of life had been or become unlivable. I needed something different. I needed a word from God. Several people in my life had been preparing for such an opportunity, they wanted to encourage me and tell me that God did not want me to be miserable, but also to clarify that the way to be happy was more fully renouncing myself. I felt I had nothing left to renounce but was willing to try. Turn to God, turn away from yourself. But where was God to be found? Not anywhere on heaven or earth, it seemed. God was there, and if you didn’t suspend your powers of judgment and seek an illegible martyrdom, you would be sorry. But I already was. They insisted on a relationship with this God while implicitly asserting its impossibility. Accept the logically unacceptable. Raging against and insisting upon the permanence of melancholy. So lonely with this god, with no escape. This weekend I was in a basement looking for a Casio, looking to express feelings I didn’t understand on an instrument I understood even less. I stopped cold when I saw again the cover to the Manchester Orchestra album I'm Like a Virgin Losing a Child. It stopped me in my tracks as I remembered. Two things in particular I remember about that album: 1) the songs all sort of sound the same because they sort of are 2) listening and being sad about everything, about what I was and what I wasn’t, feeling loss and guilt without the pleasure of newness or promise, like my situation was indescribably special. It wasn’t, but I didn’t know that. I barely knew I had a situation. The way I came to recognize it was in misrecognizing the pain. I began with that album to mourn my inability to mourn. I felt I needed something else, and I did. The woman on that cover looks like she needs a word from the Lord, but might be the only person in the room, besides the camera.

“The archival photograph is a time-stamped, carceral text.”- Zoé Samudzi

This weekend I thought about prophecy and remembered Bevere’s book. Its basic argument is that if we do not learn to separate true from false, we will not know what God is saying, and without a vision we will perish. It is thick with talk of eradicating disease, pollutants, corruption, defilement; the story of Hagar and Ishmael is a metaphor for the ontological split between promise and flesh, or between the flesh which does or does not possess promise. Christians in Bevere’s account should be the paradigmatic racial scientists. A Christianity premised on distinctions, which can ultimately make none; Christianity as the police.

In 2005 Jus Allah released his solo debut album All Fates Have Changed. I found it enthralling. He opens by declaring that he is “beyond measure” and “supreme authority over the universe.” That felt good to sing along with, even though I knew he wasn’t talking about me. I was a young white dude in Manchester,New Hampshire, but I could pretend. He was “a runaway slave with back scars” and an “immaculate being.” The white devils who hurt him would come to be sorry. He promised to “release aggression…explode like atomic weapons…Go into deep spells of demonic possession.” He has words for all his enemies: “Y'all corny motherfuckers sound repetitive, it’s safe to say, I'm the smartest man that's ever lived. I am negative, I will kill a relative.” What else is Jus Allah? “pure darkness, sparkless, glitterless, imageless, but still infinitely limitless… placed on the planet just to cause problems… from the master race exactly, God of the planet, boss of the factory.” He is contradictory. He tells us that tomorrow never comes, and why it cannot: “My stomach got young dead orphans in it; I eat from trash cans at abortion clinics.”

“the blackened-not-blackened fetus is stuck—suspended between a blackness whose freedom cannot commence and cannot be withstood, a blackness that cannot be born and cannot be borne.” -Jared Sexton

Prophecy is the negotiation of power and knowledge which shape conditions for life in the world. Prophecy can be a matter of opening or closing possibilities. I do not want to undersell the apparent strangeness of the behaviors at the church services where I met God, nor the extent to which this strangeness was performance of a denial of difference. You could speak up in protest, directed towards the Other outside and in yourself. In the end, every word from God must be an affirmation, an encouragement.  

This essay is not about prophecy but about my relation to it. I grew up knowing that meaning implies domination, and that man’s search for it required acceptance of roles of master and slave, of Man, that to resist domination required an end to the possibility of even provisional meaning. Prophecy could be a way of ensuring that everyone can live or determining who must not. The prophecy to which I found myself attracted was an aborted negativity. Negativity insofar as it recognized that things were wrong, but a negativity which ultimately aspired to be content with itself as God, to a heavenly place in the world whose gates could eventually be shut. Negativity as the problem which required the promise of prophecy to solve.

Prophecy was a way of denying the obvious: “a disaster's a disaster no matter what Christian language you drag it through.” It was like my divorce: a split produced by the desire for wholeness and the repression of an originary split. One thing I knew for sure was that I shouldn’t follow my own agenda, but instead God’s. One thing I could not have known is that God did not have one, and neither did I, and that if I could not have the split I thought I wanted, I could at least try to know the one I had.

“Our historic mission is to sanction all revolts, all desperate actions, all those abortive attempts drowned in rivers of blood.” -Frantz Fanon

How was I to know when God’s agenda came to earth? “Your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.” As a young child I was haunted by night terrors. Animals at night, outside my window, usually on the neighbor’s roof. I could not resist looking out the window at them. I was not afraid of what they would do to me. They just watched. I was afraid of them because of what they knew. White nightmares. I could not rest.

Everyone knows that immaculate conceptions are impossible, that they are only possible with God, and that the eventual experience of premature death is really another part of his plan. When something feels wrong, you may want a word from God. But prophecy is like an army of locusts. Who can endure it?

(What helped me write this: Amaryah Armstrong, Alex Haley, Gil Anidjar, other readers of Lacan)  

[thisdaynews]

There is nothing good as one Nigeria,compared to Biafra – Ezeife

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/there-is-nothing-good-as-one-nigeriacompared-to-biafra-ezeife/

There is nothing good as one Nigeria,compared to Biafra – Ezeife

Former governor of Anambra state, Dr Chukwuemeka Ezeife has said that he prefers a permanent Nigeria to a break up, but warned that the government of President Muhammadu Buhari is seriously pushing the Igbo out of the nation.

He said this in an interview with Saturday Sun.

Ezeife in the interview also stated that the struggle by the Indigenous People of Biafra, IPOB, is in the interest of all Igbo.

Some opinion leaders say that Nigeria has not been as divided as it is today, not even during the civil war. Do you agree with them?

I agree that Nigeria has not been as divided as it is now; Nigeria has never been a failure as it is now. What do we do about it? My suggestion is that man has failed in Nigeria. What do we do, we should only go on our knees to pray to God to change things for us before total collapse.

The country is, in everybody’s assessment a failure, and we are fooling ourselves as Nigerians, but we have failed black men all over the world. This country has the kind of weather; the kind of resources that cannot be found on earth, yet we the human beings have messed up ourselves; the mess up has become a tradition, a culture. For our people, corruption is no longer something you frown at; people consider corruption to be something normal, we are not talking of politicians eating money; it is everywhere now, in the church, in trade unions, everywhere and I think it is time for us to call on God and surrender to Him to help us.

Some leaders are talking about restructuring as the only way for the nation to begin to make progress, but the president doesn’t seem to agree. He said recently that there was nothing wrong with the 1999 constitution, as it is fair to all. Where do we go from here?

I don’t believe that the president understands what is going on in Nigeria. I don’t think that he is aware of the extent of the problem. The people who are messing up more are Junaid Mohammed and Ango Abdullahi. These are people who are leading those who are in greatest danger; if you are leading a people and you make enemies for those people you are not doing well.

Ango Abdullahi and Junaid Mohammed are talking about ruling Nigeria in the next 100 years, and they are talking in favour of Hausa/Fulani or Fulani. The Fulani have the greatest to lose if this country breaks up. The issue is why should people be against going back to things that worked. Nigeria worked. Towards the mid 50s and 1965 Nigeria was growing faster than the rest of the world, this is World Bank statement and not mine. Why were we growing faster than the rest of the world? It was because we have perfect structure for advancement – the regional structure, which was agreed by our founding fathers. That regional structure gave regions the rights to pursue their own interest with the speed they wanted, and it gave control of regions to be rewarding people in the regions who were contributing their resources for development.

We didn’t depend on oil money at that time. It is what we contribute from our pocket, and whoever was the governor was concerned about development. I wouldn’t reckon with the views of Mr President, because I think something must have happened that makes him not to understand what Nigeria is talking about.

Look, the Igbo people had to go and beg for Enugu airport before money is released to give attention to the airport. That is humiliating. What are they begging for? Kano, did they beg, Kaduna, did they beg, who begged for their airport to be renovated? It is a matter of saying what we are doing for Igbo people when they are pushing us out of Nigeria.

Some statesmen, especially in the South say Nigeria is not workable, complaining that a section of the country has made itself the rider and the rest the horse. As such, they are asking that the enterprise be broken and every group going its way to enjoy peace. What is your take on this?

Negative; but understandable. I understand their reaction. Nobody applied to be a slave in Nigeria. Whether we applied or not, we don’t accept to be slave, you are superior in some ways and you become politically inferior to them, and what is the consequence? We are not making progress as a country.

The people who are riding the horse are the people who can be hurt by the collapse of the horse; so let them come down from the horse so that there will be no calamity when the horse stumbles. If I were Hausa/Fulani, no, let me leave Hausa out of this, they are not able to bring themselves out of the problem they are in, but the Fulani will lose most for the disintegration of Nigeria, and they are in the best position to stop the disintegration of Nigeria by going back to the structure that we know that worked. Some of them say they will never support 2014 confab report implementation, it means they are saying, ‘Nigeria break up’. It is not those who make noise that say the country should break up, IPOB is complaining about many things done against the Igbo; the same way those who know are aware that Buhari government is pushing the Igbo people very hard out of Nigeria in everywhere.

So, what do we do? We go to God; only God can save Nigeria now. We have passed a stage where man can help Nigeria. No man is even willing, those who are enjoying power don’t want to help, and so we have only one chance, which is to pray to God to change things.

You made a strong case for president of Igbo extraction in 2023, but some leaders in the North are still pushing that the region should hold on to power in 2023. What is your position on this?

My position remains the same that if we do all that is necessary; we lobby the North, we lobby the West, we lobby the South South, we lobby the Middle Belt and we are well organised among ourselves, united and we don’t bring out 1000 candidates, and we bring only three and we do all that we need to do at home properly and yet Nigerians say they don’t want the president to come out from Igbo land, I interpret it to mean that those Nigerians don’t want the Igbo in Nigeria; they are pushing us out and that will be the final push.

When you reject us in 2023, then you are saying bye, bye to the Igbo as citizens of Nigeria. This is what I said. I have never said that those who vote against us did that at their peril even though newspapers used it, but if you read the same newspaper of the details of what I said you wouldn’t find anything threatening. I think it is more maturity to go to a prince carrying a plate begging than to say I stab you if you don’t give me money.

Those opposed to the president of Igbo extraction in 2023 say that you people cannot be asking for the presidency and at the same time IPOB is seeking the actualisation of Biafra, that the two are parallel. How do you reconcile this?

There is nothing parallel about this. We want to be recognised as fellow Nigerians, and for that we want to be voted as president of Nigeria. Why should we not be?

Is it because I said that if we were president we would not tolerate what you call, Almajiri? No, Igbo want a united Nigeria where everybody is accepted as equal. I hope it is not what is making some people annoyed with us. If you give us presidency and we restructure the country there is nothing like our going out. I prefer one permanent Nigeria to any break up, but I cannot stay where I’m rejected; a person rejected doesn’t reject himself. Don’t you know that the present government rejects Igbo? We have to beg to have Enugu airport repaired.

APC says that Southeast has benefited far more under Buhari’s four years administration than 16 years of PDP rule. Do you agree with the party?

Lie, lie, lie! This lie business and no conscience won’t take them anywhere. Igbo have never had it so bad. There was a time and even now is the time they are implementing policy that sounds as, ‘Pull Igbo Down’ (PID), whether it is in the market, you go and import something, they will seize your container and sell it to other people or in the industry.

Look at Innoson, who set up a major industry, he did nothing bad, and the Supreme Court has confirmed, but something bad was done against him. Look at the man who made us go back to petrol station, Ifeanyi Uba, for weeks he was incarcerated for doing nothing; for being owed by the central government, he had to be sequestered. Look at Emzor Pharmaceuticals, what did they do?

Today, if the National Security Council is meeting, Southeast is not there. Today, appointments being made don’t include Southeast. So, every right thinking person should recognise that what the IPOB is fighting for is what all Igbo should be fighting, but because of our love for commerce, market and we know that Nigeria has such a big market, the older people are hanging on to Nigeria, but of course, this presidency this or that, if you don’t like us why do you have to keep us, but if you reject us we won’t reject ourselves.

One of the cases the ruling party cited is the Third Niger Bridge, as well as the Enugu- Port Harcourt and Onitsha- Enugu roads being funded by Suku bond

None of those roads mentioned is passable. The railways built by this government, where are they passing? The roads? The airport was closed and we were told there was no money, and we had to go cap in hand begging for money for its repairs. When the other airports were being renovated, nobody from their areas begged the government. I have told you and if you want I can give you a write up showing from 1966 how everything went against us; creating states was to fight the Igbo, as well as the creation of local governments.

For those of us who can read and remain part of history, there is nothing anybody can say that justifies our remaining in Nigeria, except the hope that the large market would be retained, but if Nigeria breaks up the large market doesn’t stand.

[pamphletstoinspire]

God and Mammon: The 25th Sunday in Ordinary Time

As Jesus continues his “death march” to Jerusalem in Luke’s Gospel (Luke 9–19), he challenges us this Sunday to choose, in a clear and conscious way, our goal in life: God or money. The First Reading reminds us that wealth was a seductive trap for the people of God throughout salvation history.

1. The First Reading is Amos 8:4-7:

Hear this, you who trample upon the needy and destroy the poor of the land! “When will the new moon be over,” you ask, “that we may sell our grain, and the sabbath, that we may display the wheat? We will diminish the ephah, add to the shekel, and fix our scales for cheating! We will buy the lowly for silver, and the poor for a pair of sandals; even the refuse of the wheat we will sell!” The LORD has sworn by the pride of Jacob: Never will I forget a thing they have done!

Amos is often thought to be the earliest of all the literary (writing) prophets, since his relatively short ministry probably fell in the decade 770-760 BC. Amos 1:1 dates his prophecy to “two years before the earthquake” during the reigns of Uzziah of Judah and Jeroboam II of Israel, an event that archeologists now estimate at c. 760 BC, ±25 yrs. This would probably place his ministry just prior to Hosea’s longer career (c. 750-725BC).

Amos, like Hosea, prophesied to northern Israel; but unlike Hosea, Amos was not a northerner himself. He was a Judean from Tekoa, a village to the south of Jerusalem, an agricultural worker who raised sheep and tended an orchard of sycamore-figs (Amos 7:14). He was called by God to preach judgment to northern Israel at a time when that nation was wealthy, arrogant, and oppressive to their southern neighbors. Amos clearly distances himself from the professional prophets who learned prophesying from their fathers and practiced it as a kind of family trade (see Amos 7:12-14). He was not motivated by a desire to earn a living, but was impelled by a genuine commission from God (7:15).

This Sunday’s First Reading is a portion of the fourth of a series of five visions (7:1–9:8) of divine judgment that constitute the last major section of the book. After an oracle of judgment against Amaziah the unrighteous priest (7:16-17), Amos sees a “basket of summer fruit (Heb. qāyîtz),” which indicates that the “end (Heb. qētz) has come for my people Israel” (8:1-3). Wailing, mourning, death, and a famine of God’s word will come on Israel, because of the abuse of the poor (8:4-7) and worship of false gods (8:13-14).

A striking feature of this First Reading is the way these ancient Israelite merchants regard religion as an impediment to profit. “When will the Sabbath be over, that we may display our wheat?” The Sabbath, which God gave to man as a beautiful day of rest, to be enjoyed with family, friends, and God Himself, is now seen as a burden and restraint to the pursuit of profit.

As Catholics we often forget that observance of the Sabbath (in the New Covenant, shifted to the first day of the week, the Lord’s Day) is still part of the Ten Commandments and obligatory for Christians. Although many of us live in nominally “Christian” cultures, respect for the Lord’s Day has been all but lost, and instead commerce and retail proceed on the Lord’s day of rest and worship as on every other day. Folks head from Mass to the grocery store, not thinking that this practice supports retailers being open on Sunday, therefore requiring their minimum-wage employees (the poor) to be there and labor on what should be a day of rest and worship for all. The consequences for Christian culture are tragic, because there remains, then, no one day of rest when persons have the freedom to worship and spend time in quiet with God and family together. As a Church, we cannot restore a Christian culture without re-establishing a respect — at least among Christians! — for the rest that is appropriate to the Lord’s Day.

Amos is best remembered in the Jewish and Christian tradition as a preacher of justice who was unafraid to publically rebuke the wealthy elite of his day, whose hypocritical and syncretistic religious practices did nothing to alleviate the guilt of their social and economic abuse of the poor. Amos composed his prophesies in simple yet vivid poetry, as in this much-quoted oracle:

“I hate, I despise your feasts, and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies. Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and cereal offerings, I will not accept them, and the peace offerings of your fatted beasts I will not look upon. Take away from me the noise of your songs; to the melody of your harps I will not listen. But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream!

Even today Amos’ words remind Christian believers that external observance of the Church’s rituals does not excuse or justify lifestyles of self-indulgence and indifference to the poor and needy.

2. Our Second Reading is 1 Timothy 2:1-8:

Beloved: First of all, I ask that supplications, prayers, petitions, and thanksgivings be offered for everyone, for kings and for all in authority, that we may lead a quiet and tranquil life in all devotion and dignity. This is good and pleasing to God our savior, who wills everyone to be saved and to come to knowledge of the truth. For there is one God. There is also one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as ransom for all. This was the testimony at the proper time. For this I was appointed preacher and apostle — I am speaking the truth, I am not lying — teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth. It is my wish, then, that in every place the men should pray, lifting up holy hands, without anger or argument.

The Second Reading at this time of year is working its way through the personal letters of St. Paul. This passage from St. Paul’s first letter to Timothy stresses the need of the Christian community to pray together, especially for government officials. Good government is necessary that we may lead a “quiet and tranquil life in all devotion,” which pleases God who “desires all to be saved.” Why is good government and tranquil life connected with “all being saved?” Because political stability enables the Church to go about her evangelizing mission unmolested.

Pope Francis had some direct words about this passage of St. Paul:

“None of us can say, ‘I have nothing to do with this, they govern. . . .’ No, no, I am responsible for their governance, and I have to do the best so that they govern well, and I have to do my best by participating in politics according to my ability. Politics, according to the Social Doctrine of the Church, is one of the highest forms of charity, because it serves the common good. I cannot wash my hands, eh? We all have to give something!”

There is a tendency, the Pope observed, to only speak ill of leaders, and to mutter about “things that don’t go well.” “You listen to the television and they’re beating [them] up, beating [them] up; you read the papers and their beating [them] up. . . .” He continued, “Yes, maybe the leader is a sinner, as David was, but I have to work with my opinions, with my words, even with my corrections” because we all have to participate for the common good. It is not true that Catholics should not meddle in politics:

“‘A good Catholic doesn’t meddle in politics.’ That’s not true. That is not a good path. A good Catholic meddles in politics, offering the best of himself, so that those who govern can govern. But what is the best that we can offer to those who govern? Prayer! That’s what Paul says: “Pray for all people, and for the king and for all in authority.” “But Father, that person is wicked, he should go to hell. . . .” Pray for him, pray for her, that they can govern well, that they can love their people, that they can serve their people, that they can be humble.” A Christian who does not pray for those who govern is not a good Christian! “But Father, how will I pray for that person, a person who has problems. . . .” “Pray that that person might convert!”

(From Vatican Radio: bit.ly/1gnJgYK)

3. The Gospel is Luke 16:1-13:

Jesus said to his disciples, “A rich man had a steward who was reported to him for squandering his property. He summoned him and said ‘What is this I hear about you? Prepare a full account of your stewardship, because you can no longer be my steward.’ The steward said to himself, ‘What shall I do, now that my master is taking the position of steward away from me?

I am not strong enough to dig and I am ashamed to beg. I know what I shall do so that, when I am removed from the stewardship, they may welcome me into their homes.’ He called in his master’s debtors one by one.

To the first he said ‘How much do you owe my master?’ He replied, ‘One hundred measures of olive oil.’ He said to him, ‘Here is your promissory note. Sit down and quickly write one for fifty.’

Then to another the steward said, ‘And you, how much do you owe?’ He replied, ‘One hundred kors of wheat.’ The steward said to him, ‘Here is your promissory note; write one for eighty.’

And the master commended that dishonest steward for acting prudently.

The role of steward in a large household was one of great responsibility, but also wealth and prestige. It went to the master’s most trusted male slave. As a result, enterprising young freemen in the Roman empire sometimes sold themselves as slaves to wealthy men in order to become stewards of their households.

Since the stewardship was an administrative position in which one lived in physical comfort, the steward realizes he is in great trouble when the master wishes to fire him. He’s not suited to any other way of making a living, and as a slave he has no estate of his own. He’s been use to socializing with his master’s peers, although he is not truly their social or legal equals.

So he pulls of a kind of “white collar crime.” Calling in his master’s debtors, he has them manipulate their receipts to “erase” a significant portion of their debt. Then they will be in this steward’s debt after he is fired, and “owe him one.”

Eventually, when the master found out what the steward had done, he “commended” him. This probably means, he acknowledged (grudgingly) how cunning his former employer had been.

“For the children of this world are more prudent in dealing with their own generation than are the children of light.

Non-religious people frequently have more “street smarts” in manipulating others than those who practice a faith. That’s why its best for Christians to stay out of the “rat race” rather than try to compete in it.

I tell you, make friends for yourselves with dishonest wealth, so that when it fails, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.

This is perhaps the key teaching of this entire Reading. The world encourages an attitude in which we use people to gain things. Jesus reverses this: use things to gain people. If spending money and giving goods can open others to friendship with the Church and ultimately Christ Himself, then spend the money, give the goods.

Pagan religion in the ancient world tended to be a semi-magical way to manipulate the spiritual realm (the realm of the “gods”) in order to gain material wealth.

Christianity is precisely the reverse of this. It is a religion in which we sacrifice material in order to gain spiritual wealth.

That is one reason why the “health and wealth Gospel” is such a perversion. Periodically one can here a radio or TV evangelist preaching Christ as a means to the “good life” — this is a return to paganism, a subordination of the spiritual to the material. It does not lead to true conversion, because as long as Jesus is a means to an end — and not the end itself — one is not yet a Christian.

The person who is trustworthy in very small matters is also trustworthy in great ones; and the person who is dishonest in very small matters is also dishonest in great ones.

If, therefore, you are not trustworthy with dishonest wealth 
who will trust you with true wealth? If you are not trustworthy with what belongs to another, who will give you what is yours?

“Small matters” are often not small at all, because their consequences can be huge. This was illustrated some years ago when the $136 million-dollar Mars Climate Orbiter was lost on its maiden voyage due to malfunction. The problem? The contractor Lockheed Martin and constructed the device using English measurements, whereas the purchaser NASA conducted their operations only in metric.

Small issues — an inch vs. a centimeter—can have enormous material consequences and also spiritual ones. St. Josemaría Escrivà used to say he could tell the state of a man’s soul by looking at his desk or inspecting his closet. The interior of a man is reflected in his smallest actions.

Jesus teaches us here that material wealth — which in the eternal perspective is a matter of very little consequence at all — serves for us as a “testing ground.” Our faithful administration of material goods — which would include generosity toward the poor—wins favor with God and gains spiritual blessing, and to the contrary, self-indulgent use of material goods damages spiritual progress. No servant can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and mammon.”

The Christian who approaches discipleship with Christ while still trying to attain “the American dream” or the “good life” is dooming himself to frustration. If wealth, pleasure, or power in this life is what you are after, you truly have the wrong religion! It is truly pathetic, for example, for the Christian who devotes himself to mission work in his youth to become embittered or disgruntled in mid-life when he or she realizes they do not have the material wealth or creature comforts of their peers who went straight into business out of high school or college. Frustration results when the Christian loses focus on Christ and begins to pine for certain pleasures or pursuits that seem out of reach or incompatible with his life’s vocation. The only answer for this kind of frustration is re-conversion: to call to mind whom we are serving and why, and recommit to his service.

From: https://www.pamphletstoinspire.com/

[johnhardinsawyer]

Things Happen

John Sawyer

Bedford Presbyterian Church

8 / 16 / 20

Genesis 45:1-15

Psalm 133

“Things Happen”

One of my favorite bands is called Dawes – D-A-W-E-S.  I think they’re just great – great songs, great lyrics, great guitar playing, great singing.  A few years ago, they put out a song called “Things Happen.”  The chorus of the song goes like this:

Let’s make a list of all the things the world has put you through.

Let’s raise a glass to all the people you’re not speaking to.

I don’t know what else you wanted me to say to you –

Things happen / That’s all they ever do.[1]

Things happen.  Some of them are disappointing and difficult.  And you and I could rehash all of these things – dwelling on them until they drive us crazy.  But, maybe we should just accept that things happen – always have, always will.

This does sound a bit pessimistic, doesn’t it?  If this weren’t church, you might hear someone resurrect that old t-shirt or bumper sticker slogan, saying that “something else” happens.  But there are things that happen in your life and my life, in the lives of families, and countries, and cultures.  History is, of course, the study of one thing right after another.[2] Things happen.  And, if we were to make a list of all of them, it would be a mighty long list.  On this list, we would, most definitely, find moments of great good, and progress, and causes to celebrate.  But not everything on our list would be good.

In looking at today’s story from the Book of Genesis, I imagine that Joseph has a pretty long list of not-so-good things that have happened to him.  The world has, after all, put him through a lot.  And if, as the song says, Joseph were to raise a glass to all the people he’s not speaking to, he would be holding the glass up for a long time, trying to name them all, specifically, his ten older brothers:  Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, Gad, Asher, Dan, and Napthali.  When we last saw Joseph, in last week’s scripture reading and sermon, he was being led away in chains – sold into slavery by these jealous older brothers.[3]  Joseph is all alone, cut off from his family.  

Now, to get from this very low point in Joseph’s life to where we find him in today’s reading would make for a very long sermon.  In terms of things happening, a lot happens, here.  But, if we were to just to hit the highlights, Joseph goes from being the favored son with a fancy coat to a slave in chains, and from being the favored slave in the house of a powerful man in Egypt to a prisoner who interprets dreams, and from being a prisoner who interprets the dreams of the Pharaoh – the king – to becoming the favored governor of the whole kingdom, managing all of the food distribution for the kingdom during a time of famine.[4]  That’s quite a dramatic story arc for one character – from lowly slave to second-in-command of the kingdom!

But there is still more to the story.  You see, when the famine begins, nobody is able to grow crops in Egypt or in the region surrounding Egypt.  Changes in climate have no respect for the borders of countries, after all.  Meanwhile, back in the land of Canaan, Joseph’s brothers are trying to eke out an existence with little to no food for their family or their flocks.  They do hear, however, that there is food that can be bought down in Egypt.  Egypt is doing just fine – food-wise – thanks to Joseph and the God to which Joseph prays.  You see, Joseph encouraged the Pharaoh to store up as much as possible before the famine began.

So, Egypt is where Joseph’s ten older brothers go.  They do leave their littlest brother, Benjamin – the youngest (twelfth) brother in the family – back home, though.  Benjamin is Joseph’s little brother – his only full-blooded brother.  They make their way down to Egypt and are ushered into a grand room where a very grand man sits in a very grand chair.  They don’t know who this guy is, but he is clearly important.  And, when they ask him – through an interpreter – if they can buy some food, he starts peppering them with questions, giving them a lot of grief – asking them about where they are from, how many brothers they have in their family, and whether or not they are spies.  At one point, he even has them thrown in jail.  After the third night behind bars, the brothers are released to take food home but one of them must be left behind in Egypt until they bring back their youngest brother – Benjamin.  If they don’t do this, they will die.  When they hear this, they start talking amongst themselves, saying,

“Now we’re paying for what we did to our brother [Joseph] – we saw how terrified he was when he was begging us for mercy.  We wouldn’t listen to him and now we’re the ones in trouble.”[5]  “Things happen, and now they’re happening to us!”

Little do they know that their little brother Joseph is hearing their every word.  Because the very grand man in front of them is the very brother that they sold so long ago.  They just don’t recognize him.

But, the big, dramatic, reveal doesn’t happen quite yet.  In the end, Joseph’s brothers come back to Egypt with Benjamin and we find ourselves at today’s reading.  All of the brothers are gathered together in Joseph’s big and grand house.  They still don’t know that their long-lost brother, Joseph, is right there in front of them.

What would you do if the people who had ruined your life were standing right in front of you and you had the power of life and death over them?  Yes, Joseph has sent his brothers to jail for a few nights, but he has also been incredibly generous to them – sending them home – alive – loaded down with food.  But now that they are back in his presence, he is unable to contain himself anymore.

Out of all the things he could do, today’s scripture reading tells us that Joseph begins to weep.  His long list of all that the world has put him through – all that his brothers have put him through, all those years of hurt, and hardship, and painful memories that he has had to keep to himself come pouring out in huge, wracking, sobs that can be heard out in the street and next door at the palace of the king.  “I am Joseph,” he tells his eleven astonished brothers, when he’s finally able to catch his breath.  (Genesis 45:3)

Things happen – that’s all they ever do.  But there are some things that happen – events so big and dramatic that reverberate through history. . .  wars, and kingdoms, and empires, and elections.  There are also things that happen on a much smaller – but no less dramatic, because they are personal – scale events that reverberate through families and individual lives.  Maybe it’s a birth, maybe it’s a death, maybe it’s a big move, maybe it’s the loss of a job, or the time your brothers threw you in a pit and then sold you to some Ishmaelite merchants heading down to Egypt, and life as you know it is forever changed.  

Things happen, that’s all they ever do.  But the story of Joseph gives us a glimpse into what to do, and who to be, and how to interpret things when they do happen.  In the end, this is what matters most.

Somehow, instead of lashing out or punishing those who hurt him so long ago, Joseph finds a way to live with them – even love them.  At the end of today’s story, we see Joseph kissing them, and weeping on them, and talking with them – making plans for all of them to move the whole family – even their elderly dad – back down to Egypt, where he will provide for all of them.  Why does he do this?  Why is he so gracious?

Difficult things have happened to Joseph, but he somehow sees something Holy at work through all of it.  He tells his brothers, “. . . and now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life” (45:5)  A few chapters later, he tells them, “Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good, in order to preserve a numerous people as God is doing today.”  (50:20)

What are we to make of this?  Is Joseph, with some kind of 20/20 Holy hindsight, really saying that all of it happened the way it happened because God caused it all?  Could he really see God’s providential fingerprints all over his own difficult story?  Things do happen, but where is God in all of it?  Sometimes, it’s hard to tell, especially when we’re in the thick of things.

What I do know is that while God’s methods are often difficult to understand in the moment, God’s holy purpose – at work for good in the world – undergirds all of life, even when life is hard.  And we, like Joseph, often only realize this after-the-fact.

If you were to think of your own life and what has brought you to this very moment, I wonder if and where you might be able to spot God’s fingerprints on your own life’s story – however faint those fingerprints might be.  Yes, things happen – that’s all they ever do – but at the heart of all of these things – at the heart of your life and mine – I believe that the Holy Spirit is doing the work, of bringing some light, and grace, and hope, and love, and healing along the way.

In Joseph’s case, God leads him and his brothers back together, again.  Is it uncomfortable?  Are there tears?  Is there regret and worry?  Yes, to all the above!  But there is also healing and reconciliation – key parts of God’s holy purpose for all of us.  To quote another song by Dawes,

I wanna sit with my enemies

And say we should have done this sooner

While I look them in the face /

Maybe that would crack the case.[6]

Maybe if we could see that is God leading us – and all of creation – toward one another with healing and reconciliation and love in our hearts and on our lips, we would crack the case of some of the brokenness in this world, and say “We should have done this sooner.”  

Things happen – that’s all they ever do – but somehow, God is at work for good through all the things that do happen.  Things happen – that’s all they ever do.  But as things happen, so does God.  And all God ever is is full of love and mercy, forgiveness and healing for you and for me and for all the world.  We find this to be true in the welcoming waters of baptism, in the strengthening power of bread and cup – body and blood – in signs of peace, and hope, and reconciliation, and healing, and wholeness that surround us on all sides even in hard times.

Years from now, when you tell the story of what happened to you and your family, and your community and church, and our nation, and the world, in the great Covid-19 Pandemic what will you say about God?  Where will you say that you saw God at work?

Things happen.  That’s all they ever do.  But the Holy happens, too.  God always has and always will.  May God give us eyes and ears for seeing and hearing, minds and hearts for knowing and loving, and bodies and spirits for serving, and forgiving, and healing.

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

--------

[1] Taylor Goldsmith, Dawes.  “Things Happen.”  All Your Favorite Bands.  2015.

[2] Paraphrase from Arnold J. Toynbee (among others) – https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Arnold_J._Toynbee.

[3] See Genesis 37, as well as https://johnhardinsawyer.tumblr.com/post/625976232170946560/let-us-go-unto.

[4] See Genesis 39-41.

[5] Eugene Peterson, The Message – Numbered Edition (Colorado Springs:  NAV Press, 2002) 69.  Genesis 42:21.

[6] Taylor Goldsmith, Dawes, “Crack the Case.”  Passwords, 2018.

[christsbride]

COVID-19 and Closing Churches

With the spread of the flu-like Covid-19 virus, government orders to close, and the community in fear of getting sick; at what point should a church close its doors and temporarily end meeting?  To get clear guidance, we must seek God's Word, and not our feelings or thoughts from our fragile emotional state.  What did Jesus and The Apostles do?  What did the early church do?  What does Holy Scripture say?

What Did Jesus Do Around Sickness?

John 4:46-53 is interesting, not only is it a sickness healing, but Jesus brings up a interesting point.

46 Then He went again to Cana of Galilee, where He had turned the water into wine. There was a certain royal official whose son was ill at Capernaum. 47 When this man heard that Jesus had come from Judea into Galilee, he went to Him and pleaded with Him to come down and heal his son, for he was about to die. 48 Jesus told him, “Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will not believe.” 49 “Sir,” the official said to Him, “come down before my boy dies!” 50 “Go,” Jesus told him, “your son will live.” The man believed what Jesus said to him and departed. 51 While he was still going down, his slaves met him saying that his boy was alive. 52 He asked them at what time he got better. “Yesterday at seven in the morning the fever left him,” they answered. 53 The father realized this was the very hour at which Jesus had told him, “Your son will live.” Then he himself believed, along with his whole household.

Now, it doesn't say WHAT the boy was sick with except the fact he was sick and was going to die.  There is something interesting to note.  Jesus didn't travel to the sick boy's house.  Instead, healed the boy from the a distance.  Right here, some people may use this as an example was to why self-isolation is acceptable for the church because God heals from a distance.  BUT, that is a failure to see the REAL reason for this sort of RARE "distance" healing.  Verse 51 would be completely irrelevant.  That's the point.  The time and distance PROVES Jesus has divine healing powers.  THAT's the point.  Not the distance.  So, this is actually a poor example for self-isolation and God's healing of the COVID-19.  Now, there was a very important point to be made, by Jesus.  Jesus REBUKES the people, including the royal official.  He literally says "you people," referring to the crowds that follow him to see what he does and don't really ponder what he says.  He generally rebukes them for not believing in HIM as the living WORD and trusting the WORDS that he says as coming from God himself.  Instead, these doubters need to see miracles for themselves in order to give some sort of self satisfying credence to his words.  There is a natural thing inside humans that if it tickles our senses, it feels more satisfyingly credible.  This is also true for fellowship.  If you meet people in person, or see people in person, and hear a pastor speak in person, and sing your favorite worship song in person; how much greater of the a feeling do you have than if you just watched it online.  There is a natural and massive difference.  Keep that in mind (1). LUKE 4:38-40, a high fever

38 After He left the synagogue, He entered Simon’s house. Simon’s mother-in-law was suffering from a high fever, and they asked Him about her. 39 So He stood over her and rebuked the fever, and it left her. She got up immediately and began to serve them. 40 When the sun was setting, all those who had anyone sick with various diseases brought them to Him. As He laid His hands on each one of them, He would heal them.

 Peter's wife's mother had "a high fever."  In this day, a fever of 101 would almost just feel like a hard days work.  So for them to note, at this time, she had a "high" fever, means she was in bad shape.  But look at Jesus, he "stood over her."  Jesus didn't maintain any sort of "social distancing."  But it gets better, "all those who had anyone sick with various diseases brought them to Him. As He laid His hands on each one of them..."  They were physically bringing their sick, possible with viruses, to Jesus.  And Jesus would literally, physically touch them.  No gloves, no masks, no protective gear; just faith. These people would have NEVER had an encounter with CHRIST JESUS, if "social distancing" was enforced legally and or culturally.  Keep that in mind (2).  LUKE 5:12-14, Leprosy

12 While He was in one of the towns, a man was there who had a serious skin disease [leprosy] all over him. He saw Jesus, fell facedown, and begged Him: “Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean.”  13 Reaching out His hand, He touched him, saying, “I am willing; be made clean,” and immediately the disease left him. 14 Then He ordered him to tell no one: “But go and show yourself to the priest, and offer what Moses prescribed for your cleansing as a testimony to them.”

Though this translation does not specifically say "leprosy," other early writings and translations do.  It is a contagious bacterial infection that gets ugly quick.  Jesus, in his human body, that gets tired, needs food and hydration, reached out his hand and literally, physically, touched him.  There is a symbolic concept here too.  This would, according to Pharisaic additional laws and jewish ceremonial laws, would make Jesus unclean.  But, we know that Jesus is far from unclean, in fact, he is the exact, perfect opposite, he is perfectly sinlessly holy.  BUT he TOUCHED an unclean, infectious person.  He did not avoid them.  He did not maintain social distancing.  There are countless more examples in Holy Scripture but the point is, Jesus and the Apostles didn't shy away from infectious people:  Matthew 14:34-36; Luke 17:11-19. Here, people will make the argument "But Jesus was God, we are not."  Seems like a valid point.  So, let's look at the healing that the Apostles did AFTER Jesus had ascended to heaven.

The Apostles and Sickness

Acts 5:16  

"Also the people from the cities in the vicinity of Jerusalem were coming together, bringing people who were sick or afflicted with unclean spirits, and they were all being healed."

 Their faith and desire for God's healing superseded their feeling to stay away from sick people.  In fact, all the sick people and their friends and family were coming together.  Remember, Jesus had already left at this point.  This is just the first and early churches, after Pentecost.  A mass sickness party was being held by the Apostles, and by faith, they were all being healed. This would have never happened if the early church avoided meeting and maintained social distancing from all those who were sick. Act 19:11-12

"And God wrought special miracles by the hands of Paul: So that from his body were brought unto the sick handkerchiefs or aprons, and the diseases departed from them, and the evil spirits went out of them."

Acts 28:8-9

"And it happened that the father of Publius was lying in bed afflicted with recurrent fever and dysentery; and Paul went in to see him and after he had prayed, he laid his hands on him and healed him.  After this had happened, the rest of the people on the island who had diseases were coming to him and getting cured."

 Again, no social distancing and avoiding meeting here. So, we see that even the Apostles were not afraid of coming down with any of these diseases.  They didn't tell these people to say home and NOT bring their sick friends and family to them.  They did NOT close their doors wherever they were at to avoid contamination.  They WERE without Jesus, physically, and were on their own continuing his works.

Israel and The Church's Historical Reaction to Epidemics and Pandemics

The 142 BC Epidemic In 412 BC, there was an epidemic of an unknown disease, but it is often identified as influenza due to the described symptoms.  It was reported in Northern Greece by Hippocrates and in Rome by Livy.  It caused a food shortage in the Roman, and a famine was only prevented with food relief from Sicily and Etruria, and via trade missions to the "peoples round about who dwelt on the Tuscan sea or by the Tiber."  In other words, it spread.  In 520 BC Cyrus the Great allowed Jews to return to Judea and rebuild the Temple in 515 BC, but did not allow the restoration of the kingdom.   During the time of the epidemic, Persia was in control of Israel; and Persia traded with the Roman Republic until they were conquered by Alexander the Great in 332 BC. Israel did not stop conducting their ceremonies, worship services, and religious festivals even though there was a epidemic spreading from Rome. The Antonine Plague of 165 to 180 AD This was an pandemic brought to the Roman Empire by troops returning from campaigns in the Near East. Scholars have suspected it to have been either smallpox or measles; deadly and highly contagious.  The disease broke out again nine years later, according to the Roman historian Dio Cassius (155–235), causing up to 2,000 deaths a day in Rome, one quarter of those who were affected, giving the disease a mortality rate of about 25%. The total deaths have been estimated at 5 million, and the disease killed as much as one-third of the population in some areas and devastated the Roman army.  The plague may have also broken out in Eastern Han China before 166 AD, given notices of plagues in Chinese records.  The church was in the dead center of this pandemic.  It was a monster of a plague.  COVID-19 looks like a small cold compared to this one.  So, what did the early church do during this extremely dangerous plague? Irenaeus, who was about 30 years old at the time and was a pastor at the Church of Lyon during the plague.  He was indirectly a disciple of Polycarp, who was an actual disciple of John.  He never paused his mission work.  He didn't stop meeting and fellowship.  He even discussed his conversations and debates with Gnostics; which lead him to write Against Heresies.  Any sort of social distancing was not mentioned by him whatsoever.   The thought of closing his church doors and stopping his ministry work during the plague was not an idea he had. The Bubonic Plague, 1485–1551 Just about all of Martin Luther's life ran congruent to the Sweating Sickness that spread throughout Europe.  As a pastor and professor, he did not close his church doors and theological school.   During the spreading sickness, he revolutionized organized and formal worship services that changed history.  But it gets better.  The Elector of Saxony, John the Steadfast, ordered Martin Luther, to leave.  He refused.  Along with his pregnant wife Katharina, Luther stayed in Wittenberg, opening his house as a ward for the sick.  Someone literally asked him if it is wrong for a Christian to flee the cities that are infected, you can read Martin Luther's letter here.  The 1563 London plague Church leaders gathered to address some issues and iron out what the orthodox biblical faith teaches in 1563 AD and 1567AD, and drafted what is known as the Heidelberg Catechism and Belgic Confession.  All the while the 1563 London plague was raging.  Social distancing and closing churches did not happen. The 1663-1668 Plagues of Netherlands, England, and France While the "Great Plague of London" was spreading, from the Netherlands, and to France, the church gathered in London and drafted the The Westminster Confession of Faith in 1664AD.  An extremely important document that helped shape modern Church orthodoxy and maintain biblical reliance and understanding.  Social distancing and closing churches did not happen. The Spanish Flu, 1920s The Christian Reformed Church convened at the Synod of Kalamazoo and drafted the understanding of God's common grace in 1924.  The Spanish Flu was raging, world wide.  They did not close down their churches or cancel their synod.  The churches in America, as a whole, did not close down or stop meeting. Influenza A virus subtype H3N2, 1970s

  The outbreak and discovery of the H3N2 virus, predominate pastors from around America met in Chicago and drafted The Chicago Statement of Biblical Inerrancy.  Also, during this time, in the 70s, the churches did not close during the spread of H3N2.

  We see, that historically, and during much worse pandemics and plagues, the church did not close their doors and stop meeting.  They, in fact, become part of the help and aid to all those who were sick; just like the Apostles before them.  But what does other parts of the the Bible say about how to better address this issue?

  God's Word

  Aside from Jesus' example, and the Apostles' example in Holy Scripture, we can find assistance in coming to a biblical response in other truths made in scripture. 

  Psalm 41:1

  "Happy is one who cares for the poor; the LORD will save him in a day of adversity."

  There are two ways to look at this;  is avoiding contact with the poor, caring for the poor?  Is this being merciful and loving in that you care for their health enough to avoid them in the hopes of preventing getting them sick? 

  Here's a problem.  If you know you are not sick, then avoiding them is actually SELFISHNESS and UNLOVING to the poor.  Because you are actually more worried about your self and your own health than to serve the Lord, willing to risk yourself for his Glory and their greater good.  Making this argument, knowing your are not sick, exposes your selfishness, weak faith, and doubt in God's protection. So, if you are not sick, but yet you avoid taking care of the poor when given the opportunity, you are actually IN SIN.  You don't trust the Lord's protection.  You don't believe in his divine healing.  And you care more about your own life than the person you claim to love.

   James 4:17

"So it is a sin for the person who knows to do what is good and doesn't do it. "

Helping someone in need, is what is good.  Physically caring for someone in need, is what is good.  Caring for someone in physical or emotional need, is what is good.  Avoiding all these, to keep yourself from getting sick, is not doing what is good; it's selfish, non-sacrificial, lacking in faith, thus sin.

  Mark 16:17-20

  17 And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new languages; 18 they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”  19 After the Lord Jesus had spoken to them, he was taken up into heaven and he sat at the right hand of God. 20 Then the disciples went out and preached everywhere, and the Lord worked with them and confirmed his word by the signs that accompanied it.

Now, this is huge.  Jesus said these things "WILL accompany those who believe."  They can touch deadly things, even receive into their bodies deadly things, and yet, "WILL NOT hurt them at all."  and then right after that he said "they WILL place their hands ON SICK PEOPLE."  Again, all these "will accompany those who believe."   Think about the gravity of this.  WHY are you scared to touch sick people?  The REAL question is, why do you NOT believe Jesus' word here?  To simplify it; Why do you not fully trust God?  Do you not trust God will/can heal them?  Do you not trust God will/can protect you? Peter could walk on water!  but, because of his weak faith, he almost drowned (Matthew 14:30).  If Peter walked on water, why can't you minister to sick people?  If it is fear, Jesus directly addresses you: Matthew 10:28

28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

 The "who" could be a "what" or another noun; person, place, or thing.  That "thing" can also be COVID-19.   COVID-19 has killed people, but it only kills this temporary body.  Jesus flat out commands us to "NOT BE AFRAID" of COVID-19...  Is your lack of faith leading you to disobedience?  

John 10:11

"A good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep but the hireling sees the wolf coming and flees"

This is a brutal revelation about pastors, elders, and church leaders.  The wolf, is anything worldly that scares the weak and scatters the flock.  This is exactly what COVID-19 is doing; has scared the flock and scattered it.  Sadly, it appears that most pastors are just hirelings and not good shepherds, because they too have gone into hiding.  Martin Luther said "For when people are dying, they most need a spiritual ministry which strengthens and comforts their consciences by word and sacrament and in faith overcomes death."

  1 Timothy 5:8

"8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, that is his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

  Now this is a very important COMMAND.  YOU have a duty, a divine responsibility to take care of your household and family.  Maintaining social distancing and avoiding contact with family and members of your household is in direct violation to this command.  The things that are to be provided are care, love, fellowship, not just physical resources.  Obligated to provide physical and emotional support and care.  Even Bond-servant Masters are to care for their bond-servants as members of their household (Eph 6:5-9).  So, this isn't just limited to immediate blood-family. 

  Matthew 25:41-46

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ 44 Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ 45 Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ 46 And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

 Now THIS is condemning.  Social Isolation and avoiding fellowship risks THIS!  Social Isolation and avoiding fellowship does not feed the hungry, hydrate the thirsty, not welcome the lonely and strangers, does not clothe the poor, and cold, OR VISIT THE SICK!  Jesus literally says "sick and in prison and you did not visit me."  Closing the church, stopping fellowship and corporate worship directly conflicts with what Jesus is getting at here.

  The church, by closing and avoiding worship and fellowship, is neglecting those in need.  And dumping the duties to try to care for the local church community violates what The Holy Spirit prescribes in 1 Cor. 12:21-26. 

  1 John 3:16-17

16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 17 But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?

What does that look like now?  You see people in need, or know of a friend, family, or community in need; you have the resources to address that need and have been part of that community assisting in helping that need before; then suddenly, stopping, no longer helping because of fear of getting sick.  You are not willing to lay down your life for the brothers and sisters in your community.  All of these raise the question:  

  Is risking infection unloving to your household?

  It can't be.  The Apostles risked getting sick by healing people every day, Peter was married.  Was he risking getting infected and then infecting his wife?  No, it wasn't a risk because God is soverign.   In the eyes of the weak in spirit, yes, it seemed like he was risking getting infected and bringing the bug back home to his wife.  But the element of a sovereign God is unfaithfully absent with that idea.

  Is it then unloving for missionaries to take their families to dangerous parts of the world for mission work?  Of course not.  Is it a risk of danger, maybe.  But is the fear of risk the problem?  Yes.  

  The fear is being poor in faith.  The fear is immaturity in faith.  Peter feared drowning once he saw he was walking on water.  What, is it selfish and unloving of him to risk widowing his wife to walk on water with Jesus?  Is it selfish of Peter to lay hands on the sick, and risk being infected and taking the sickness back home to his wife?  No.  Peter was not in the wrong or acting in sin.

  What Does The Bible Say About Quarantine?

  So what happens when we become sick?  Well, we should be quarantined; but not neglected.

  Leviticus 13:4-8

the priest is to isolate the affected person for seven days. 5 On the seventh day the priest is to examine them, and if he sees that the sore is unchanged and has not spread in the skin, he is to isolate them for another seven days. 6 On the seventh day the priest is to examine them again, and if the sore has faded and has not spread in the skin, the priest shall pronounce them clean; it is only a rash. They must wash their clothes, and they will be clean. 7 But if the rash does spread in their skin after they have shown themselves to the priest to be pronounced clean, they must appear before the priest again. 8 The priest is to examine that person, and if the rash has spread in the skin, he shall pronounce them unclean; it is a defiling skin disease. 

 Here we see "The Lord said to Moses and Aaron" and laid out this process of a sort of quarantine.  This skin disease spoken about is a bacterial infection of Leprosy, which is contagious. This is about those who HAVE symptoms or ARE sick.  This is NOT about people who DO NOT have symptoms of any contagious sickness.  The context can not be used to justify quarantining healthy people.  Because, then how could the priest examine the person and determine their cleanliness or uncleanliness. If, your sick, stay at home.  If you are NOT sick, YOU HAVE A DUTY TO SERVE THE LORD STILL.  But, what if the government orders the churches to close?  

Government Orders to Close Churches

Romans 13:1-7

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. 3 For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, 4 for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. 5 Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. 6 For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. 7 Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.

   This comes up a lot too, by pastors who close their churches at the orders of the state.  They justify this action with the use of this verse.  A major problem though.  This verse applies to governing authorities that conduct what is good.  And "good" is defined by God.  That means, if the governing authorities do NOT do what is good but, in fact, impose authority that which only God is owed, they they are not to be respected and honored because they are NOT the one whom the respected and honor is owed.  Give Caesar what is Caesar's and give God what is God's (Mark 12:17).  Worship and praise is God's, he owns it, and expects it, commands it; it is our duty before God himself.  ANY governing authority that interferes with it, is due no respect or honor in regards to it.

Watching your church serve form a life video feed is not corporate fellowship and worship.  You have no interaction with the pastor or fellow believers.  It is no different from you watching any other video instead.

Corporate Worship and Fellowship

Acts 2:42, 46

"devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer...every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts"

  Closing church doors and doing live video feeds of worship services is NOT being "devoted to... fellowship, to breaking of bread..."  It is just not possible.  You can not break bread from a live Facebook feed.  Fellowship is neglected, period.  The early church was so on fire for Christ, they met every day!  DESPITE Roman authorities AND Jewish authorities persecuting them.

The early church defied the Roman authority.  The early church defied the Jewish authorities.  The early church RISKED death, arrest, breaking the law, jail, prison, and diseases; yet, still were devoted to fellowship and meeting in their homes.

  Hebrews 10:25

25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

 As mentioned above, the early church was dealing with governing authorities, such as Rome and the Jewish authorities, ordering them not to meet.  They risked legal issues, fines, jail time, prison, and violence.  Yet, the author of Hebrews, inspired by the Holy Spirit, directly and absolutely states "NOT GIVING UP MEETING TOGETHER".  

Conclusion

We see that Jesus went to the sick and physically touched them and heal them.  We see that the Apostles went to the sick and physically touched them to heal them.  We see that the early church, and the church all throughout history did NOT close their doors (willingly) for government authorities and plagues.  We see throughout scripture the duty and responsibility for believers to care for the sick, physically.  We see God commanding the church to NOT give up meeting, but to remain devoted to meeting together; no matter what the governing authorities impose or what worldly sickness is around.  That closing churches and not meeting together, in fact, reveals a lack of faith and fear of worldly pressures over the duty of what God is owed; obedience and worship.

It is made clear through Holy Scripture and church history, that churches who close their doors and stop meeting together, are in sin.

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[stephenaltrogge-blog]

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thess 5.16-18

Rejoice always. What a command! At first glance it seems like an insane command. How can God tell us to rejoice always? Is he serious? Does he command us to rejoice in times of sadness and pain? To rejoice when nothing seems to be going right? Let’s unpack this…

In context, the apostle Paul is giving final instructions to the church in Thessalonica. In chapter 1 he said they had received the word in much affliction. In chapter 2 he said they had suffered at the hands of their own countrymen. In chpt 3 he said he had told them believers are destined to suffer affliction. Then in Chapter 4 and 5 he assured them Jesus is going to return and we our fellow believers who died will be with Jesus forever. Then as he wraps up the letter he gives some final instructions, including rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and give thanks in all circumstances.

So one quick summary of 1 Thessalonians would be: Believers will suffer affliction, but Jesus is coming back to take us to himself, so rejoice always, keep praying and giving thanks.

What is the meaning of the word “rejoice”?

The word rejoice here comes from the Greek xaíro (pronounced “KI-roh”) which is related to the word xáris (pronounced CARE-iss) which means “grace” – so to rejoice means to be conscious of or glad for God’s grace. God’s grace is his undeserved favor, or undeserved blessings. Our God is a God of grace, a GRACIOUS God

The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. PS 103:8

Our gracious God saved us by his incredible abundant grace.

We all sinned against the infinitely holy, sinless, righteous God, who can allow no sin in his presence. What we deserve is eternal, unending punishment in hell. But God is infinitely gracious and instead of giving us the justice we deserved, sent his Son to live a sinless life then take our punishment and pay for our sins on the cross. When we believe in Jesus, who he is and all he did for us, God in his grace completely forgives and cleanses us of all our sins. But he is so gracious he doesn’t stop there. He adopts us as his very own sons and daughters, and makes us joint-heirs with Christ. He makes us one with Christ and begins his gracious work of transforming us into the likeness of Christ. He frees us from the power of Satan and sin, fills us with his Holy Spirit and gives us power to obey him and conquer sin. And in his graciousness he fills us with love for him.

So to rejoice means to be glad for God’s grace.

Even in the midst of affliction and sadness we can still rejoice in God’s love and grace. I’m not saying this is easy. I’m not saying we don’t feel grief and sadness and devastating pain. I’m not saying we don’t acknowledge pain and sadness. But even in the midst of affliction we can still rejoice in God’s grace to us. Only Christians can do this. Someone who doesn’t believe in God or in Jesus would have no reason to rejoice always.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. PHP 4.4

Here is the key: we rejoice IN THE LORD always.

Yes we can rejoice when God blesses us. But even in good times we aren’t so much rejoicing in our earthly blessings but IN THE LORD. And certainly when we suffer, we don’t rejoice in our suffering but IN THE LORD.

If we only look at our circumstances, we will have no reason to rejoice always. But if we look past them THROUGH THE EYES OF FAITH, we can rejoice. We don’t rejoice in a tragedy or something bad that happens. But we rejoice in THE LORD AND HIS GRACE that is above and beyond the circumstances.

We rejoice in THE LORD because he is in control of all circumstances all the time We rejoice in THE LORD because he is good and loving – he only does what is loving for us, tho we don’t always understand how. Because he is infinitely wise – he always does what is most wise for us.

So when we rejoice and give thanks it is AN ACT OF FAITH – we trust God’s word and promises.

Paul told the Thessalonians to be prepared to suffer. We will all suffer. Yet despite our suffering, God’s grace goes much deeper. But it takes FAITH to rejoice always.

Can you imagine talking to Joseph in the Old Testament? At age 17, he unwisely shared some dreams God gave him with his brothers, who hated him and threw him into a pit, then sold him into slavery in Egypt. Can you imagine talking to Joseph as he is trudging through the desert, bound in chains by slave traders dragging him to Egypt to sell him? “Hey Joseph, rejoice always. That means even now! Give thanks in all circumstances.” He would probably have said, “Are you crazy? Rejoice that I’m a slave? Rejoice that my brothers hate me so much they did this to me? Rejoice that I’m ripped away from my father and family?”

When Joseph finally gets to Egypt, he is bought by Potiphar, whom Joseph works so diligently for that eventually Potiphar puts him in charge of his household. It finally looks like things are starting to go well for Joseph, till Potiphar’s wife tries to seduce him to sin. Joseph flees from the house. He obeys God. Seeks to be pure for God. And what happens? Potiphar’s wife accuses him of coming on to her! Potiphar throws him in prison. Can you imagine talking to Joseph then? “Hey Joseph, rejoice man! Give thanks!” Joseph would say, “What? Rejoice? Really? My brothers sell me to slave traders, I’m bought by an Egyptian, and then when things are finally starting to turn around for me, his wife accuses me and I’m thrown into prison. Rejoice?

While Joseph is in prison God gives him favor in the eyes of the prison keeper who eventually puts Joseph in charge of all the prisoners and everything else in the prison. And Joseph does a great job with it. One day two former officers of Pharaoh whom he’d thrown into prison have dreams. And Joseph interprets them. He tells the cupbearer he will be freed and restored to his former position. He begs the cupbearer, ‘When you get out please mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of here, for I’m innocent. I was stolen from my homeland and I did nothing wrong here that I should be here.’ Joseph’s interpretations prove true, the cupbearer goes free. But does the he mention Joseph to Pharaoh? Nope! He completely forgets about Joseph. And Joseph is stuck languishing there for 2 more years. “Joseph, give thanks in all circumstances! Rejoice always man!” Joseph: “Oh yeah right! Rejoice always. Give thanks that I’m stuck here in this pit.”

But 2 years later, Pharaoh has troubling dreams and no one can interpret them. Suddenly the cupbearer remembers Joseph, Pharaoh calls him, he interprets Pharaoh’s dreams and ultimately Pharaoh makes Joseph the number 2 man in all of Egypt. Because of Joseph’s wisdom and planning, when a severe famine hits Egypt, he is able to provide for thousands of Egyptians and his brothers and father as well. He is 30 years old when Pharaoh promotes him. He was 17 when sold into slavery. So for 13 years he had been a slave, then in prison.

Years later after his father dies, his brothers fear Joseph may hate them and pay them back for what they did to him. They send a message to him, “Before Father died he sent a message that said ‘Say to Joseph, “Please forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you. They come trembling before him and say, “Behold we are your servants.”

But Joseph said to them, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. (GE 50:19-20)

Did Joseph rejoice always during the 13 years in slavery and prison? Did he give thanks? I don’t know. Did he KNOW that God meant it all for good at the time? I don’t know. But if he could have seen what God was going to do with him to save thousands of lives in Egypt and save the lives of his father and his brothers and his brothers wives and children and then to use what happened to him to show millions throughout history who read his story in the Bible the sovereignty and wisdom of God, he could have rejoiced and given thanks even though he was suffering horribly.

To rejoice always we must LOOK BEYOND OUR CIRCUMSTANCES TO OUR GRACIOUS GOD.

We rejoice in God’s grace despite our circumstances.

So no matter what we go through we can always say, “Father, I rejoice that you are in control of what’s happening here, and somehow you are causing it to work for my good. I rejoice that you are infinitely loving and infinitely wise and that someday I will understand your wise and loving plan. Thank you Lord Jesus, that someday you will wipe away every tear from my eyes and I will rejoice forever with you at the marriage feast of the Lamb. Thank you for saving me and making me a joint-heir with Jesus.”

Remember, we don’t rejoice in our circumstances but in the Lord. We rejoice not because we feel like rejoicing but we rejoice in faith.

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