#why would you send me a sad song omfg whyyy

[queenofpurgatoryx]

Noliv + another love by tom odell

I wanna sing a song, that'd be just ours

But I sang 'em all to another heart

And I wanna cry, I wanna fall in love

But all my tears have been used up

.

Things had been alright, lately.

More than alright even. He loved his school, he got to wake up everyday to learn stuff that he enjoyed and some of his teachers were really good. He had friends, he didn't even know how he befriended those kind people but maybe it was faith and he had done it after all. His apartment was small and cozy, he had time and inspritation to paint, he loved the coffee shop nearby to read and he loved Berlin. A little cold and gloomy at times but it kind of felt like home.

There was something missing inside Noah, though.

He felt happy and he felt content- the kid that came with being able to do what he was passionate about. Yet, it was there, a strange kind of longing and the inability to open his heart up to someone.

Sure, he had his friends, he even had a best friend (an art history major and a filmmaking major, they were an odd duo) and he had his best friend's boyfriend, and their colorful group of friends. Noah shared a bit of himself with them but something was not quite right.

In one of those parties he was at, where he kissed a stranger and did not learn their names the next day, he started talking with this boy, one of the boyfriend's friends.

"Why are you so mopey all the time?"

"What? I'm not mopey," Noah replied, sounding confused.

"Yeah, right," the boy scoffed. Later he would learn that his name was Abdi. "Look man, I don't know your deal but you clearly think about someone constantly instead of enjoying the moment. I know a thing or two about heart break," the boy said with a wink. Noah doubted.

Regardless, the kind stranger was right at the moment and his drunk state of mind was filled with wisdom, perhaps. Noah didn't have to face it but he hadn't just left his old house, Gijs and Micha back in Utrech, he had also left a bit of his heart back home.

He missed her so much, how could he not, when he used to miss her even when she was right there?

But it would've been unfair, she had bigger dreams and he was in an another country. She was too good for him, anyways. He had done a lot of mistakes, anyways.

They let each other go gently, with hugs and kisses as if it wasn't a goodbye and it was just a see you soon. But its been awhile and Noah had thought he would get over Liv, but itd been months and he just loved the same.

He tried to at least like someone else, he tried to look at someone the way his new friend David looked at his boyfriend (the way he used to look at her). He just couldn't as if she had taken that ability with a pieace of his heart.

Noah wanted to feel whole again, wanted his heart back.

Wanted her back.

But she was not his to begin with but maybe, she would be kind enough to treat his heart gently?

That's how he ended up in a plane sometime during christmas, he didn't have much to say or much to bring.

A painting he had made for her (one from many because when you were in love, your art and your love were united) and the rest of his heart, all he had to offer.

Maybe it was selfish of him to want her when he knew she deserved more but Nıah only had himself to offer after all.

It was up to Liv to decide.

.

send me a ship + a song!