#why would you even split off at that point and again wild fairs don't seem to have more than one adult gold at a time

[kariachi]

You just wanna take McCaffrey and shake her. They’ve got a perfectly viable strategy going on- lay many eggs and leave them to their fate is a wonderful concept for a prey animal specifically, especially since they likely breed year-round on Southern given the climate seems to be very accommodating, like at most I could see firelizards not breeding during hurricane season but otherwise things seem suitable for year-round breeding- but no, no they have to be going with it because they’re the stupidest things to ever grace the planet. Full 50% of firelizards apparently have absolute fluff for brains, amazing the species has survived.

Because somehow it never occurred to Anne that if only 1% of your population is making babies, and you are a wild animal, your species isn’t going to last. But somehow, those firelizards~ Just, every green egg is nonviable or not even worth looking at because it make, greens, and blues, but mostly because they make greens horror of horrors.

The worst part is, the greens’ ‘lay ‘em and leave ‘em’ strategy is extra effective for their species, because we’ve already seen that firelizards can tell when eggs are going to hatch or babies are going to be born and that they flock to join in and help. So it’s low care while they’re egg with all but a guarantee that if they survive to hatch they’ll be immediately made part of one fair or another. They’re a social species for whom leaving their eggs alone doesn’t stop the young from being raised in safety of the fair from hatching! So the best case scenario is that your eggs survive and get taken in by a fair, and the worst case scenario is they get eaten in which case they’re still acting as a distraction from the eggs of the other dams in your fair to whom you’re probably related! Plus, the constant egg loss helps prevent overpopulation! It fucking works!

But no, Anne couldn’t have with that, she had to keep her Super Special critters super special, and just wasn’t capable of doing that without tearing other fuckers down. Which, having read her heroes, I can see how she got into the habit, but still.

Anne McCaffrey's classism and misogyny are almost indescribable. Specifically in regards to green fire lizards. It's like a perfect combination of classism and misogyny and it just becomes so fucking absurd. Like rich people staring in offended horror and clutching their pearls because a poor person has an iphone or something. but more absurd.

[misskikuwrites]

Of all People

@kagura-chan-otaku-forever​ HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

As a tribute to your amazing Bederia comics, I wrote this fic of two of my favourite scenes in Cauliflower boy, I love you! (The first part is the very first comic of yours I came across, too! 

If you love Bederia/Dressedinpinkshipping, definitely check out @kagura-arts​ for more!! 

-

Cauliflower boy, I love you! Part 3: Galar Mine No.2

The strings of Bede's heart had begun to pull, begun to unravel, long before he had noticed. Unbeknownst to him, a certain someone had wormed their way under his skin. Slipped between the cracks in his walls with that energetic smile.

She always appeared out of nowhere, suddenly and unexpected, getting in his way time and time again. Acting overly friendly, as though there was anything between them. In the depths of Galar Mine No.2, Bede stared in dismay at the country girl before him.

"You've got to be kidding me…" Bede clicked his tongue, a sharp sound of annoyance, as irritation snapped into place. "Why are you here?!"

Gloria didn't react to his biting tone, instead giving him a flat look.

"Hey, relax. I'm searching for Kabu, just like you."

Bede didn't have enough patience or willpower to deal with her today. Not with his pulse spiking in vexation at the mere sight of her, his body stiffening reflexively. He whirled on his heels to march away.

"Alright. Bye, then," he said curtly.

"Bede, wait!"

The call of his name made him pause. Regretfully. His feet slowed to a stop against his will.

"Let's search for him together!"

Too bright. Too cheery, too innocent and happy and-

"No." Barked through clenched teeth, he snapped at her without turning around.

"Why?"

At her insistence, Bede sent a glare over his shoulder. "Why would I stay with you? I told you; we're not friends."

She tilted her head slightly, staring right through him. Unphased by the venom in his tone.

"But we have a greater chance of finding him together," she said. "That has nothing to do with friendship, right?"

Her words hit true. Her point was fair and keener than he'd given her credit for, and he turned away from her with a huff.

"Fine, whatever."

He would put up with her for now - force himself to if needed - if it meant finding Kabu and getting out of here, away from her, sooner rather than later.

He sighed to himself as he walked off, hearing Gloria's footsteps right behind him, and knew without looking that she was smiling. Grinning, even.

"Great… the Gym Leader is missing and now this…" he muttered to himself before speaking to Gloria. "Also, there are a lot of wild Pokemon here disguised as Pokeballs." He turned to face her. "So, we need to be careful-"

"Oh, a Pokeball!"

Her hand descended on a bright, shiny red Pokeball in the dirt, glinting steel teeth encircling the bait. Bede reacted instinctively. A surge of panic burst in his chest, searing up his throat with a cry of-

"-Gloria!"

He grabbed her without thinking. Snatched her hand away from the jaws a split second before they snapped shut around her delicate fingers. A hand snug around her waist, Bede yanked her away from the vicious Stunfisk. He tugged her back with enough force, in his panic, to pull her flush against his chest.

He froze in that instant.

"Wah!" Gloria yelped as Stunfisk snapped at the empty air where her hand had been a second ago. "That was scary!"

She was warm. Warm and soft against him, a sweet smell tickling his nose, and he couldn't move. His body, his brain, had ceased to function. Stunned into silence by his actions, frozen stiff as she glanced over her shoulder to look at him, their eyes meeting inches apart. Too close.

"Thanks, Bede," she said, his name sounding all the more sweeter on her tongue in that moment. "I owe you one!"

It stole the air from his lungs. His eyes widened exiguously, fixed on her breathless smile, the giddy relief on her face, and had she always been this cute?

Rich brown eyes, round cheeks slightly flushed, soft pink lips pulled into a smile, it was as though he'd never seen her - never looked at her - like this before.

Gloria stared back at him blankly. "You can let go of me now," she said, raising an eyebrow. "He's gone."

Bede lurched back, hands thrust in the air, releasing her with a start and a painful thump of his heart against his ribs like a thunderous drum. Distracted by the glow of light from an opening into the cave, Gloria perked up.

"Ah, light!" She trotted away quickly. "Come on, Bede! I think I found him!"

He staggered a step. Clutching at the front of his jacket, fingers winding into the fabric over his heart, Bede stumbled beneath the surging feelings inside his chest. Heat burst and crackled to the tips of his fingers. A blazing blush swept across his cheeks, his heart beating at a dizzying, cantering pace, leaving him winded and unable to think.

What…

What was that…?

He'd been struck by lightning. Struck by her, by Gloria, by something unthinkable and abrupt, and he'd never felt this way before. Insides buzzing and churning, chest fluttering and heart skipping. Unable to comprehend how, or why, he felt like this.

How Gloria, of all people, could do this to him.

-

Cauliflower boy, I love you! Part 5: I’m sorry

It was the look on her face that stayed with him. The hurt in her eyes when he'd snapped at her, stealing his wrist - his watch - away from her grip. Regret cracked over his heart like ice and so, when he saw her lingering outside the Gym on a bench, he knew he couldn't leave it like that. He couldn't leave her like that, swishing a Pokétoy from side to side listlessly for her Yamper.

Two cold drinks in his hands, he approached her, trying to think of something, anything, to say. Gloria straightened, catching sight of movement in the corner of her eyes.

"Hey…" Bede pressed the cold can to the side of her face, his insides churning uncomfortably. Regretfully, once again. "This is for you. Take it."

Gloria winced from the touch of cold metal, before her eyes widened. "Bede?"

She looked between him and the soda can for a moment, her expression softening as she accepted his offer gratefully. The tab flipped open with a hiss and Gloria drank from it with a delighted smile. Bede glanced at her for a moment before casting his gaze elsewhere. He sipped at his drink slowly, still standing by the side of the bench.

"So, I heard you beat Kabu," he said, attempting to sound nonchalant.

Gloria hummed happily. "Yup! I just got my badge."

"I see…"

Silence fell between them, the air awkward and stale. Bede tightened his grip around the bitingly cold can, fumbling over the words on his tongue before managing to speak and break the tense atmosphere.

"Look, I'm sorry," Bede began, making Gloria glance up at him in quiet surprise. "I shouldn't have… yelled at you last time."

The memory was a dagger of ice in his chest. Cold and painful.

"I appreciate the present, but I can't take off my watch." He held up his arm, the too-large watch sliding down his wrist. "This watch is important to me. So, whenever someone tries to touch it, I lose my temper."

"It's fine," Gloria said quietly, her gaze dropping to the can she held in her lap. "Honestly, I owe you an apology."

Her unexpected words drew his eyes back to her, and he caught sight of heavy sadness sweeping behind her eyes.

"I tend to be too friendly to people, so a lot of them seem to think I'm annoying," she continued.

The heavy weight in her voice stunned Bede into silence, his heart sinking.

So, I understand if you don't like me," she said. "Don't worry. I won't bother you anymore."

A breath froze in Bede's lungs. He turned to her with a start, panic spiking his pulse, his mind tossing and fumbling over what to do, and how on earth he'd given her the wrong impression. He dropped onto the bench beside her with a huff, making up his mind.

"Okay, firstly - don't compare me with other people. I hate it."

His voice came out strained. Stiff.

"And secondly…"

Bede turned his face away from her as his cheeks began to burn.

"I don't… dislike you."

His honesty, the words he admitted, hung in the air for a moment where all Bede could hear was his heart pounding in his chest.

"You don't dislike me?" She stared at him, her eyes widening, and she gasped. "Does this mean we're friends?!"

His heart skipped - no, it flopped. It leapt dangerously hard, right into his throat, lodging in place so he couldn't breathe. He couldn't think when Gloria took his hands, when she leant close, her eyes sparkling and dazzling in awe.

"Is that true, Bede?!" she pressed, holding tight to his hands. "Are we friends?!"

A strangled sound escaped Bede's throat as she leant even closer, right into his personal space, and he turned his head to the side. Unable to meet her gaze, to even look at her, when she was this close.

"F-Fine, I guess we are," Bede relented. If only to satisfy her, to get her off his case and away from him.

That's all.

"Really? That's so-"

"-Hey, you there!"

Gloria and Bede turned as a journalist and her cameraman approached. The woman held a microphone in hand, holding it out towards them.

"You two are Gym Challengers, right?" the journalist asked, smiling professionally.

Bede sent the woman a flat look. "Yes, and?"

The microphone was shoved right into his face. "We'd love to do a quick interview so the public can get to know you better!"

Bede's irritation spiked. "And why should I waste my time on you? Us battling is all they need to see anyway." He shoved the microphone back. "Now get this microphone out of my face and shove off."

The journalist and her cameraman blanched before stalking away. Bede huffed. There was no end to the cameras, interviews, nosy people with too much time on their hands.

He turned back to Gloria, to where she had been a moment ago, and found nothing but empty air beside him.

"Where did she…?"

A hand gripped the back of his jacket. Bede glanced over his shoulder to see Gloria cowering behind him, crouching low, an uneasy frown on her face.

"Wh-Why are you behind me?!" Bede barked.

"Sorry…" Her voice was quiet, wobbling. "I just wanted to hide from them."

"Hide?" A realisation clicked into place, and Bede's lips pulled into a teasing smirk. Amusement bubbled in his chest. "Don't tell me, you're afraid of cameras? And you want to be the Champion?"

He leant over to get a better look at her where she shrunk behind him. Her cheeks flushed a bright pink.

"I'm not afraid," she protested, "I just don't like them."

Her defiant mumble, the cute pout of her lips and the sweet blush on her cheeks was too much. Heat coursed up Bede's neck to flood his face, and he straightened, masking his flush with his hand.

"W-Well you need to work on that!" he snapped.

Arceus.

She was so…

He didn't finish that thought. He couldn't, wouldn't, let himself go there. Not now. Not yet, not for a long time, not until he could swallow his pride and admit to himself what this was. What he felt towards her.

That he had fallen in love with her. With Gloria, a simple girl from Postwick, of all people.

One day, he would admit that to himself.

And to her.

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 60)

"The Queens of Dirty Secrets"

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

@lovemythsworld

@kellysimagines

@crystalbaby12

@southsidequeen

Luna's no angel. She cheated on Justin. Once. With Tommy. For 9mnths. She didn't lie when she said she'd never had a one night stand.

--------------------------------------------------

Luna had met Tommy randomly at a Rancid show in Queens. She went alone that night because Justin was out of town at Rehab #2. Tommy spotting her first. Being 6yrs older than her, he had introduced himself confidently. The two of them easily falling into quick banter as if they had known each other for ages. Luna drawn into his deep, blue eyes and overwhelming personality. Asking if he could buy her a drink, she had told him immediately that she had a boyfriend. Tommy laughed and said he didn't care to Luna's rolled eyes as she told him No Thanks and made her way to the stage. She had to get away from him. There was something in her bones that didn't trust herself near him. She was right. Halfway through the show, he slid up behind her, wrapping his strong arms around her tiny waist. She had recognized his scent automatically and against her better judgment, let herself stay in his presence. More then slightly drunk, Luna bounced with Tommy to Rancid as he kept his left arm around her waist, while running his right hand up and down her slender body. Making her heart pound with the music's fast beat. It was during Red Hot Moon that he took the plunge, slipping his hand up her leather skirt. Tommy fingerfucked her in the crowd that night. Luna letting him. She was blinded by his being and the feeling of his thick fingers inside of her as the punk tune floated through her head. Tommy liked that she hadn't resisted and the way he could feel her low moans against his chest. Body shaking in his arms. Luna literally cumming in his hand to her senses. Angry with herself, she had pushed Tommy out of her and disappeared into the crowd, still seeing stars. Licking his fingers, he watched her go, amused at how he thought he could taste peaches. Justin had come home a week later, promising to stay clean. "This time." Leaving Luna raked with guilt. Yet, she couldn't help that every time she masturbated, that moment and THAT man in Queens popped into her head. It was around 3mths later that Luna ran into Tommy again. At a bodega on 133rd Street. Unable or unwilling to deny their chemistry that time, she climbed into his Eleanor when he'd asked if she wanted to take a blunt ride. They had wound up by the East River, making out heavily in Tommy's mustang. Luna refusing to fuck him, Tommy getting tested in less then a week. Luna knew it was wrong the whole time but she couldn't deny the energy between the two of them. Tommy seemed to make her lose all of her common sense. He had a way of sucking Luna into his strong, charismatic, no bullshit attitude. It was a change and escape from the darkness that seemed to be consuming her and Justin. From the moment he saw and watched her, Tommy was mesmerized by Luna's beauty, rawness and sass. They were a wild a rollercoaster ride, twisting and turning. Dipping and soaring. Leading Tommy and Luna to fuck and party all over the five boroughs for almost a year. She only broke it off when he told her he loved her. Realizing that she loved him too but knowing that despite everything, she would never leave Justin. She had crawled out of his bed that night, with tears rolling down her cheeks. As she got dressed, she babbled on about how their relationship wasn't fair to him. And that she was sorry. Too hurt by her rejection, he let her go. She willingly walked from Queens to Brooklyn that night. Contemplating suicide for the first time in her life during those long hours. Luna never told a soul. Not even Ashley. Tommy and Luna's paths never crossing since then.

--------------------------------------------------

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" Tommy smiles at Luna. "No love?" His blue eyes dare her.

Reluctantly, she stands as he swoops her up. Tight and strong. Placing her arms around his neck, a ton of memories flood them both as they embrace. Fitting like two puzzle peices. Feeling the intimacy Luna wiggles out of his grasp, sitting back down.

"You still look great, Little One." The nickname both excites Luna and makes her cringe at the same time. "You just get better with age, don't you?" He asks her, pulling out the stool and sitting next to her. It's been over 5yrs since they last saw each other. "Eh! Lemme get another round here." He calls to the bartender, pointing between himself and Luna. She's quiet, trying to keep her composure.

"You should leave. You should leave. You should leave. You should leave. You should leave." Her brain keeps repeating over and over.

"So, where's the boyfriend?" Tommy's words break Luna's thoughts like a sledgehammer.

She thinks about her words before she speaks them. "We're not together anymore." She tells him without looking at him. His eyes are deadly.

"No fucking shit!!" Tommy slams his hand on the bar. Partly amused, partly irritated. "So, what the fuck did it take for you to finally leave his loser ass?" He asks bluntly.

Luna looks at him now. Square in the eye, with a flash of anger. She tells him coldly "He hung himself in our bedroom."

"FUCK." Tommy let's out. "What a fucking pussy." He has no filter.

"SERIOUSLY!?" Luna glares at him.

He shakes his head and places his hand on the small of her back. "I'm sorry. I guess he never got clean, hunh?"

Luna sighs. Tommy knows more about Luna and Justin's relationship than their closest friends. Looking at him directly again. She says "No. He actually started using needles sometime in the last 6mnths. I threatened to leave him and I'm pretty sure that's why he fucking killed himself." Luna doesn't break eye contact from Tommy. Besides Colson, he's the only person she's ever uttered those words to.

He breaks away as his heart drops for her. "When?" He asks her quietly, looking into his drink.

"Almost 3yrs ago." She answers him.

Looking up, he slides his left arm around her shoulders as he uses his right hand to pull her barstool closer to him.

"You need to fucking leave. You need to fucking leave. You need to fucking leave." Her brain keeps telling her as she feels her body flush from the closeness of his.

"Are you okay?" He asks, lowly in her ear.

"Yeah... Look I'm seeing someone..." She spits out.

Tommy erupts into laughter, not bothering to move his arm. "Some things never change, hunh? You're still caught up and I still don't give a fuck." He tells her matter of factly. Their faces are close together.

Luna knows it's true. She pulls away to finish the rest of her drink, reaching for the other round Tommy had ordered.

"This is different. I'm happy." She tells him to his smirk.

"Yeah?" He laughs again. "Then why are you alone in a bar at a punk show, just the same as I found you before?" He snips at her.

Annoyed, she states again that this is different. Still taunting her, arm still around her shoulder. He asks how. Shaking him off of her, she tells him it just is. He's making her think about Colson and Justin drug use similarities.

"Okay." He leans in close to her. "How long?"

Luna takes another drink. Closing her eyes, she turns her head and opens them at him. "Two months."

"Only two months?? Fuck, I've got a hell of a shot." He laughs, lifting his glass to cheers her as he slides his arm back around her. He knows the crazy control he has over her.

"Fuck you. No, you don't. I'm in love with him. Have been since before you. Fuck. I sold my apartment and am basically living with him." The words explode out of Luna's mouth.

All Tommy hears is two words in her whole statement. "Before me?" He asks, showing a hint of emotion.

Luna sighs again. Not being able to side step him or want to, she places her hand on his right one that's on the bar now. "I met him almost 10yrs ago. When I was still with Justin. Our vibe was really intense and I ran away. He's from Cleveland so we didn't cross paths again until recently.

"Fucking Cleveland?" What? Are you dating Drew fucking Carey??" He gives her a dirty look, throwing his hands up. He knocks her shoulder as her one hand flies up with his. Wincing from the hit, she looks up at him with her big, blue eyes. Shaking his head, he brings his right hand up to stroke her face. "You should've left him for me, a long time ago."

In her heart, Luna isn't sure if she disagrees.

The band begins to rumble.

Tommy hears it too.

"You wanna bump?" Tommy asks her with a gleam in his eye.

"Nah, I've been off that shit since we split." She tells him. Tommy was the biggest cocaine distributor in all five boroughs. Probably even bigger now.

"C'mon, you know I got that pure." He coaxes her.

"Nah, I'm good. I'm gonna go catch a cigarette before the band kicks in." She tells him, sliding off her stool. "It was good to see you." She says him to his unhappy look.

--------------------------------------------------

Outside Luna tries to call Colson again. He doesn't answer. Checking her watch, it's not even 11P. Hearing the band kick on, she finishes her cigarette, rummaging through her bag for her camera as she walks back in.

Annoyed, she thinks to herself "He never answers when I'm fucking home." Glancing at the bar as she makes her way to the stage, she sees that Tommy is gone.

--------------------------------------------------

Colson and Casie are passed out on the couch in Ohio. They had finished their FortNite match and fallen asleep watching Maleficent. Colson's phone ringing in the kitchen.

--------------------------------------------------

The band is amazing. They're called Product of a Government. They're fast and loud with INCREDIBLE lyrics. Ripping through Trump, Pence, Alabama, Kavanaugh and Brock Turner. Luna makes her way up front. Shooting them as they play. Bouncing and bobbing to their melodies and the crowd.

Once the show ends, Luna approaches them on stage.

"Hey." She greets them. They stop what they're doing like most men do when Luna speaks. "You guys are uniquely incredible." She praises them. "Are you signed?" She asks.

The guys look around at each other. "Nah..." They answer in unison.

"I'm Luna." She says, reaching her hand out. "I'm a local artist who just broke free of my lable. I'm gonna start my own. I think you guys would be a great launch."

The guys each shake her hand individually. Yet leerily. Because, what GIRL, starting her own lable is going to help them.

She sees their reluctance. "Check me out before you decide." She tells them as a group. "Luna Smith. That Brooklyn Bitch." She says as she turns to walk of stage.

The name rings in an ear. "Fuck. Like THAT Brooklyn Bitch???" A voice asks behind her. They've heard of her folklore.

"The only one." She turns around smiling. She's got 'em. "It's not up and running yet, so do you. But let's exchange numbers and if you're not signed by then. I've got you." Luna shrugs.

She exchanges numbers with all members. Reassuring them she got great shots during their set. Luna secretly pleased to still be known for her photography above all.

Tommy watching her on stage.

--------------------------------------------------

Tommy catches her outside smoking. He can't help but yearn for her as she glances over her shoulder at him with those eyes.

"Lemme buy you a drink. To make up for earlier." He says approaching her.

Luna rolls her eyes as she inhales. "Okay." She agrees against her better judgment, as always with him. She finishes her Newport before following Tommy back into the bar.

--------------------------------------------------

Luna's always enjoyed Tommy's company. It's one of the things that made her fall into him so easily. He's funny, sharp and nasty. Three qualities Luna fully enjoys.

They exchange stories of the passed missed years. Deals, robberies, and beat downs, amongst many other illegal activities.

Luna telling him about ICE and the shots exchanged. Tommy's impressed and worried at the same time. Wanting to look at her wound to her laughing decline.

Loose and always able to tell his truth to Luna, Tommy divulges that he fell in love after her. It hurts but she listens.

Luna's one of the few that Tommy trusts, who know's his whole life. He tells her how he lost control and killed his girlfriend because she had turned on James.

Luna isn't surprised. She knows Tommy's undying loyalty to his friend. It's a commonality they share. She's also seen what Tommy is capable of first hand. Never towards her, but they had been together long enough and he had trusted her deeply enough to show her all of him. To this day, he wonders if it was him that scared her and if that was the reason she wouldn't leave Justin for him.

It wasn't.

She can see the torment all over him. Without thinking, she stands up, slides in between his legs and pulls him close for a hug.

The moment their bodies connect there's a surge. Luna's cheeks flush as she feels Tommy's dick grow against her. She mentally shakes it off and holds him for a moment, stroking the back of his neck and hair. His breath is warm on her collarbone. Realizing what can happen, Luna pulls away gently.

"What were you doing on stage?" Tommy asks her, feeling her about to go. Looking for any reason to make her stay.

"Oh! I think I'm gonna start a record lable myself." She tells him, shifting gears as she slides back onto her stool.

Luna tells him her idea as she bitches about Charles, this weird fame that's creeping up on her and how she feels exposed.

"That's why you need you an undercover brother." He teases her. "I'd keep you tight."

"Shut up." Luna tells him, rolling her eyes. She knows she has to get the fuck up outta there soon.

Finishing her drink, Luna looks at Tommy. "I gotta go." She tells him.

"Lemme drive you..." He coaxes with a grin.

"Noooooo..." Luna laughs, shaking her head.

"No fucking way in hell." She thinks to herself. "You are in this with Colson, Loons. FUCK NO!! FUCK THIS MOTHERFUCKER." Knowing in all honesty she doesn't trust herself around Tommy. With him, she undercover hurts people and makes bad decisions.

"Okay, lemme walk you out then and hail you a cab." He tells her. Luna agrees, tipping the bartender before they head out.

--------------------------------------------------

Luna lets Tommy lead her outside. It's too easy to fall into his strong step.

Standing on the curb, he teases her about her upcoming fame. They're too close to each other. Laughing, Tommy scoops up Luna in his big arms, gripping her ass. Falling out of reality for a second she wraps her legs around him.

"I knew you loved me." He grins.

Luna can't help but smile while reaching to place a hand on his throat. She closes her eyes for just a moment. Breathing him in before dropping her legs. She moves her hand down and pushes against his defined chest as she slides off of him.

"Mmmmm... Let Daddy take you home, Little One." Tommy moans as her body slips through his hands.

"FUCK." Luna thinks as the simple words bring her back to their enticing kink. She feels her pussy plump. "You've gotta fucking GO!" Her brain screams at her.

Luna spots a cab. Throwing a hard whistle, it pulls over for her.

Unable to help herself, she kisses Tommy hard on the lips. "I did love you." She states before jumping in the cab and hustling it off.

Tommy stands there, the same way he laid the night she left him. Confused, heartbroken and longing for her.

--------------------------------------------------

"WHAT THE FUCK LUNA!?!" She scolds herself. Shaking her head, she leans back in the cab. "ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE!?!!... Well, at least you didn't fuck him this time." She battles with herself. Still worried about Colson. "You're a fucking ASSHOLE." She thinks of herself.

--------------------------------------------------

Back at her B&B, Luna feels guilty as fuck. It's too late to call so she Snaps Colson.

Luna bumps two 30s, swallows a bar and burns through three joints trying to calm her mind from tonight's bullshit.

"Fucking Tommy....... I never thought... FUCK." She feels her body heat up as her heart aches. Her mind rejecting him in the moment. "How the fuck did you even end up here?" Luna wonders drunk. Slightly confused about her entire fucking life.

--------------------------------------------------

To be continued......

[gold3nladybug]

Let's build a Legacy Deck

I do a lot of thinking about magic; you've possibly realised that, since I post long diatribes about what the game means to me on a somewhat regular basis. However, I'm not really very... let's say creative in how I approach the game. I'm not looking to explore new ground, I'm mostly trying to be as good at this game as I possibly can be. I'm pretty competitive, but my motivation isn't really winning - it's more about improving.

Legacy is a beautiful format. Not just the cards themselves, but the complexity, diversity and unbelievable skill ceilings that you can strive to attain playing these cards. I always feel like there is so much more I can learn, so many things I can improve. The level of mastery that could be achieved with these cards is seemingly endless.

So it is only fitting that we start here:

Mercadian Masques is the best Brainstorm. Don't @ me.

Now, beyond that, it's actually not that easy to branch out too far. There is a very real, very challenging financial barrier to playing this amazing format (and indeed all non-rotating formats share this problem to some degree). I own a handful of blue duals, and that unlocks a certain subset of the format for me. I bought them over the course of a year or so, and they were much, much cheaper than they are now. I doubt I'll ever be able to justify buying more, and since I don't have the quantity of duals necessary for some decks, and I own zero Tropical Islands, that subset actually isn't that large. I also don't really own any of the cards to play non-brainstorm decks - no Death & Taxes, no Eldrazipost, no Lands, no Quinn the Eskimo (yup, that's a real deck name. Give it a google, its delightful).

So, I own Tundras. That means that in Legacy, I'm pretty much always playing Miracles. My collection supports that. But that isn't really where I think I wanna be right now

Beautiful.

Stoneblade has had a bit of a renaissance recently, putting up good finishes at a high level because someone recently decided "I think I should play Death's Shadow in Legacy" and almost won the Pro Tour. Decks that play white mana have a pretty solid answer to that, and Stoneblade's ability to switch strategies between defender and aggressor is really valuable. I loved Miracles with Sensei's Divining Top, but the deck was a problem, and without that card it can't always claim inevitably. You need to win the game somehow, and Batterskull is a pretty solid somehow. But it can't do it alone.

Here's the rest of the team.

Snapcaster Mage is a ridiculous magic card. There are a lot of good instants and sorceries, y'all. In a format like legacy, though, playing the full four copies can sometimes be a liability, especially if you don't have cards like Lightning Bolt that can let you convert excess mages into a noncommittal, one size fits all kinda spell. All the cards I have are pretty specialized, and Snapcaster Mage can be all of them. Absolutely wild. I hear Tiago Chan, the winner of the invitational that led to this card, became a professional wrestler.

Wild.

Jace, the Mind Sculptor set the gold standard for what a Planeswalker could be. It feels like a privilege to be able to play with this card sometimes. One thing that I find interesting, is that in my experience I am vastly more willing to +2 Jace as my main plan than others. I get that Brainstorming is awesome and all, but the elevator going up is pretty cool too. It doesn't create numerical advantage, but using Jace's fate seal can create a lot of qualitive advantage and also let's you use an ability that wins the game. I'm a fan.

Vendilion Clique, though, might just be one of my favourite magic cards. It does a whole lot of very cool things, the most important of which to me is create informational asymmetry. This game would be a lot easier if you knew all the cards your opponent had, and usually that means you have to play cards like Thoughtseize. But that card is gross. Also, don't sleep on using Clique to send one of your own cards away, especially if that card is an equipment that you can find with your stoneforge mystic.

Lastly, we have True-Name Nemesis. This card isn't always good, but when it is it's the best card in your deck. If creatures attacking or blocking matters in a game, there is no card that does either that is better for its cost than TNN. My copies are the only cards in my deck that are altered or signed, and I normally like having things be really consistent in my constructed decks, but you can see Zack Stella's beautiful signature. Can you blame me?

So that is how I'm going to win. How am I going to not lose?

Death's Shadow matches up so poorly against Swords to Plowshares, like damn. My pick for the most outrageous removal spell of all time, even with Assassin's Trophy coming down the pipeline, Swords to Plowshares solves so many problems. A lot of this post is just me gushing about these cards, and I understand that might not be the most engaging thing to read, but I really do just love so many of them.

The rest of these spells are broadly about patching holes up. One of the amazing things about Brainstorm is that you get to see a lot of cards each game, so having a few discrete answers to unusual problems can pay a lot of dividends. Council's Judgment and Enginnered Explosives can answer weird permanents that might otherwise beat me, and Supreme Verdict (though sometimes weird in a deck that wants to put creatures on the battlefield) will occasionally just bail you out. And while it might sound funny, it really is relevant that it is blue sometimes.

This is also the best counterspell art. Still don't @ me.

Force of Will is a bit of a weird card, because in a perfect world I wouldn't even want to play it. It is clunky, puts you down cards a lot of the time and is a massive hassle to play for retail. But also, sometimes Force is the only thing standing between you and rampant degeneracy. People play Belcher in this format! It is the glue that holds the format together.

And then we get to this, and I start to question if I actually know what I'm doing. Sometimes I make these really calculated choices, trying to eke out the smallest possible advantage. Other times I think to myself "yeah, that seems right" and this is one of those times. Flusterstorm is a really powerful, versatile piece of interaction that comes with inbuilt protection and scales throughout the turn. Great with Snapcaster Mage, but absolutely worthless some of the time. People play Chalice of the Void in this format!

Spell Snare is hyper specialized, but it does a lot of things that Flusterstorm can't. There are a legion of incredibly powerful, diverse threats that exist at 2cmc in this format; Baleful Strix, Hymn to Tourach, Tarmogoyf, Sylvan Library, enemy Snapcaster Mage, Counterbalance, Exhume, Infernal Tutor, etc, etc. Snare stops them all cold, but only them.

Spell Pierce is the middle ground, the bridge between two entirely different points of view. It's kinda boring, but its pretty okay at standing in for both of the other's jobs. Spell Pierce never wins employee of the month, but I hope it knows I appreciate it.

One last spell in the main deck, and its Search for Azcanta.

X marks the Spot! I play with checklist cards almost exclusively for any DFC cards that I use, even if I'm 100% sure the sleeves I'm using are completely opaque. It is way better to be safe than sorry, and I also like not needing to actually take my card out of the sleeve to flip it when I can have the real card off to the side in an inner to place on the board when I need it.

Once, when I was playing two Azcanta in a standard deck, I asked my teammate if I should have two Azcanta sleeved, one flipped and one not, because I couldn't actually have two in the same state on the battlefield. They looked like they wanted to slap me.

After that is just lands, and you probably don't want to see that...

Who are we kidding, the lands in a legacy deck are beautiful

I'm really proud of my legacy manabase.

This is also one of those examples of those really calculated choices, optimising for the smallest possible advantages. It turns out that you're only allowed to play four Flooded Strand, and after that NONE of the fetches get both basic Island and basic Plains. Normally this means a couple of Scalding Tarns, or whatever other blue fetch you have a few copies of, but why not extract the tiniest, most infinitesimal fraction of an advantage. What if they Pithing Needle Scalding Tarn? What if they're monsters who cast Surgical Extractions on random targets to see if they getcha? Well you're not going to get me, because I have insulated myself by playing three different blue fetches and an Arid Mesa.

Otherwise, Karakas is a lovely tech land against any sort of reanimator strategy, while also unlocking all sorts of fun play patterns with Vendilion Clique. Wasteland is playing in a similar space, being a low investment singleton that can be really good in some matchups, but I don't know if I like it. I might play an extra basic over it, we'll see.

But wait, I hear you asking, why are you playing Volcanic Island. You don't have any red cards!

Entirely fair question.

All the way from the sideboard, red cards.

As you might have gathered, there are some pretty amazing blue cards in legacy. I'm not one to let people just get away with playing blue cards. It's a little weird to have a 2/1 split of red blast effects, but it's just one of those micro optimizations. Sometimes they'll have a meddling mage naming Pyroblast, you know? Also, on my wishlist is a black border red elemental blast of some description. My pyroblasts just look so much prettier.

Also I guess I lied about TNN being the only signed card I play. But again, just look at Franz Vohwinkel's signature. Impossible to turn it down.

The rest of the sideboard is pretty easy to break down. A Hydroblast, because we can't let people get away with playing red cards either. An extra Flusterstorm, because it's just a fantastic card that usually gets better after sideboard. People usually have pretty good spells in their decks, and stopping Flusterstorm from countering those spells can be pretty challenging. Disenchant is a pretty good hedge a lot of the time, for a similar reason. People tend to have some high impact enchantments or artifacts kicking around, so I usually want a cheap way to fight that available to me. Containment Priest and the two Surgical Extractions are a concession to the speed and power of reanimation strategies, that also happen to have some really good splash damage against other really powerful strategies. I kind of want to make room for a Rest in Peace, but for now these will serve. Monastery Mentor is just one of those cards that, in a post sideboard game where a lot of the removal is gone and Pyroblasts imperil the battlefield and stack, can take over a game with extreme speed and quickly end it. It could also be something like a Gideon, Ally of Zendikar, but there's value in dodging Spell Pierce.

So the only part of this that might be a bit weird is the Spell Queller, Counterbalance package. My thinking is, coming from Miracles, that Counterbalance is sometimes an exceedingly powerful card. And sometimes it's pretty janky. It's hard to truly cut it from the main deck there, because it helps enable so many of the soft synergies in the deck (revealing for Predict, making all the cantrips that much better, finding spots to crack fetch lands for extra value), even though the times that it's bad it is so bad. But here, I've almost got the same amount of cantripping and deck manipulation as I would in Miracles, but my main proactive gameplan is strong enough that I don't need them in my main deck. It's a perfect card to slide into the sideboard, where I can access it both as a value engine for blue pseudo-mirrors and a desperate tool to fight combo as well.

Spell Queller was a card I considered for Vendilion Clique's spot for a long time. They are approximately as vulnerable as each other in the context of the format, but eventually the inability to profitably play it for value proactively gave Clique the nod. But the other main three drop I play kept me thinking about it. When it matters, TNN is exceptional. But when it's bad, there's nothing you want less; True Name feels like such a brick if your opponent is doing something degenerate. It's an easy swap in those situations for this powerful reactive spirit. Like Mentor, dodging Flusterstorm and Spell Pierce is a huge deal in winning counter wars while also transitioning into an aggressive stance. So many important cards are vulnerable to being quelled, and I'm honestly quite excited to play with it.

So... there you have it. That's my legacy deck. It's not perfect, and I'm sure before too long I'll end up putting Terminus back in here and going back to Miracles. It's hard to change decks in Legacy, and not just because of the price. These cards really do feel special, like you're playing with important pieces in the history of a really great, really important game. I hope I get to keep playing Legacy for a long, long time.