#why wont it let me open spotify

[h0wlthew0lf]

god im so bored

hnngh..hnnh,,,hg,,,hgnhg...bggh...gr..hm..gfh...

doodle page because my internets beig a shithead ,,,,um anyways sorry the text is so hard to read to sum it up i saw a post where fhey drewpepperman with sillg teefers and im a sucker for silly looking teef so i went on a drawung spree

[romana-after-dark]

Our Gentle Sins: Part 7

Dark!Logan Howlett x fem!reader

My god this header is ass but I was an emo kid what can I say

Series Masterlist : Main Masterlist : Logan Masterlist

Spotify Playlist

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Chapter summary: Past. Logan has a nightmare. Present. You have a nightmare.

Warnings: This fic features non con, pregnancy, and themes of religous trauma. I will not be saying everything that happens to warm you, by clicking read more you are prepared for extremely dark themes and that you at 18+. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

EXTRA WARNING!!!!: Pretty graphic. Again, I cant and wont tag everything but I dont wanna throw you off.

2.3 words

Before

“Logan?”

Your voice broke through the noise, the sound of machine guns and children screaming and a bomb dropped in the distance but he heard you. Everything was disjointed, every war, just or unjust, melded into others. Nazi’s shot by WWI German troops, a confederate soldier beheading an English man, Indigenous tribes fighting alongside terrorists, a confusing group to say the least. Still, he heard you.

“Logan!”

You, standing in the middle of it all in a modest pink dress. You, pristine as if you were teaching a class but surrounded by blood and bodies and murdered innocents. You, who when he blinked, was covered in blood but not from bullets or beyonets or gunned up airplanes, but slashed up like Freddy Kruger was hopping his way into his dream. You were holding your stomach, scrambling to keep your guts inside yourself. He was trying to reach you, but hands pulled him back. He couldn’t see faces, but Logan knew they were the hands of all those he’d killed. In front of him, separating Logan from you now, were other. Scott, Charles, Jean, everyone who’d told him to stay away from you.

They aren’t helping you, they aren’t even trying. Instead, they just admonish Logan.

“See what you've done?” Jean asks, and Logan tries to push through.

“She’s bleeding! She needs help!” He screams and screams, watching as you fall to your knees, blood beginning to spill out your mouth. “I need to help her!”

Charles now, voice calm. “I think you’ve done enough.”

“No! I didn’t hurt her! I’d never hurt her! Please, Dolly! Dolly I’m coming!”

Scott, for some reason without his glasses. “We knew this would happen, we knew you couldn’t be trusted, Logan.”

“I wouldn’t hurt her! PLEASE! Just- Let me- DOLLY!!!”

You’ve collapsed, convulsing on the ground as you shout his name over and over again. Logan screams for you, using all his strength to try and get away, to help you, get you out of the war zone and to help, but the weight of the hands around him are too much. They pull and grasp and voices moan in agony behind him.

They pull him away from you.

“LOGAN! WAKE UP!”

Then his eyes are open, claws out and he’s scanning his dark bedroom for the danger, the danger he knows has to be there because why else would he be so fucking scared? But then he turns and he sees you, standing in the corner with your arms crossed over yourself and and he thinks back to the scene in his head where you were dying and Logan almost runs to you- but when he moves, he sees you flinch.

There is a long, long moment where the only thing breaking the silence were your ragged breaths and the pounding of blood in his ears, eyes inter looked in mutual fear. Logan looked at you like you were a spooked deer, even though it was him that felt an unyielding terror inside. You stood in PJ’s, and as his eyes adjusted he took in the new side of you, clothing revealing more than skin you didn’t show. You slept in a dress. Not pants and a top, not a dress meaning lingerie or something cute. Logan thinks for a moment of those outfits worn on the Amazonian Islands in the 70’s Wonder Woman show, how it was just lingerie. No, nothing like that. You just wore a dress, something akin to what he’d seen women wear more than 100 years ago, something a grandma would wear now, a skirt that went to the mid-shin.

Even in the privacy of your own bedroom, you weren’t free from the rhetoric. He bet you wore cotton panties.

You were the first to speak, voice soft and careful as if you weren’t the one shaking. “Are you… okay?”

You, sweet beautiful you, were concerned about him. He’d had a nightmare, because of course he had, of course he could never be free from all the before… but he was okay. 

“Yeah, I uh…” Logan ran a finger over his face, shaking off the tremors. “Nightmare.”

A little nod from your head, then your voice, barely audible. “I get them too.”

Of course you did. Of course a sweet wonderful little doll like you was plagued like this. 

Logan relaxes, shoulders slumping and he slides his legs over the side of the bed before burying his face in his hands. “I’ll kill him, you know.” He mumbles. “Just tell me anything, anything about him and I can track him down. Anything about you.”

The name you used wasn’t a real name. You’d chosen from some woman in the bible you admired, a jewish woman who used her beauty to seduce an enemy and slayed him. Judith was the subject of two Artemisia Gentileschi paintings, hence his familiarity. Logan wasn’t an art guy, but being the history teacher he’d had to brush up on his renaissance art. Your last name was fake too, something you and Charles drummed up and probably had some other religious significance, although he wasn’t religious enough to know. Maybe he’d ask Kurt. 

It’d all been faked and slapped on some ID’s no one would ever be able to tell weren’t real. Your new identity was sealed. Even if you left the school, you could go on. Charles had even faked an education degree and high school diploma when you promised to not use it to do anything you weren’t qualified for. Charles didn’t want you to be trapped at the school, and since the school had been your only option at the time, you’d been given a freedom to leave. This was more than your husband had ever done, keeping you trapped and helpless, not even knowing how to drive. 

All he needed was your real name, and he could track your husband down and bring his head on a platter like John the Baptist. Was that a Gentileschi painting, or was that Caravagio?

“I know.” Your voice breaks him out of his thoughts like you had done with his nightmare. “Which is why I won’t tell you.”

When Logan looks up, he sees you still standing so far away from him, and chuckles dryly. “You scared of me now, doll face?”

You shake your head no, but it’s not as confident as he’d have liked.

“I’m in my pajamas. You’re shirtless in shorts. There’s a bed.”

His eyebrows rose at that. “You think I’d do something to you?”

This time, when you shake your head, it’s much firmer. “No. Absolutely not. It’s just… I was always taught to never be in a man’s bedroom… or I might bring something on myself, or it would lead me to sin, or, or there’s something about the appearance of sin… I dunno, it’s just considered improper.”

He let the words settle into his skin. Sometimes, loving you was like the women he’d loved, bedded, courted so long ago. Such a different time, a different world. Yet you were still so different. Back then, women were just waiting for someone to untether them, give them an out, run away. They craved that freedom, the liberty sex brings. Logan didn’t know what you craved. There was nothing inside you that said you wanted to scream, to be unhinged, to let go. You weren’t a bubble waiting to pop, you were simply happy to be as you were, dresses and all.

“I understand, Dolly. Thank you for uh, for waking me. But you should really just let me be, next time.” Flashes of Rogue all bloodied in his arms flattered across Logan’s memory. Kayla, scratched up before his bones became the weapon they are now.  “I might accidentally hurt you.”

Something he doesn’t recognize flashes on your face before you give a little nod. “Are you alright? I can go make you some tea?”

Part of Logan wanted to say yes, because he loved when you made him tea, but you looked tired. “No, thank you doll. I’m alright. Are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting weird.”

“Thanks kinda my thing, isn’t it?” You smile just a little, making a bit of a face as you walk sideways towards the door. “Little homeschooled teen marriage weirdo?”

Logan’s eyes narrowed at your weird behavior, not turning your back to him, but he decided he didn’t need to question your every move.

“You’re not a weirdo. You’re one of the coolest people I know.”

You laugh at that, eyes bright as always, and slide out the door.

After

You scream. And scream. And scream, over and over again. There’s blood everywhere. Logan tore everyone you loved apart; your students, your fellow teachers, Scott, Jean, Kurt, Emma, Charles. Every single one was hacked to pieces. Logan pinned you to the ground, pounding into your cunt as if you were just a lifeless doll. You didn’t fight. You didn’t scream. Were you screaming before? You can’t remember now.

Lifeless you lay, head lulled to the side as Logan fucked you. There was blood coming out of your cunt, but you didn’t know how you knew that. Spread and prone and stretched you took what Logan gave you, his soft words grunting in your ear.

“Isn’t this better, doll? Not fighting? See, I can make it good for you. I can make you wet. You’re so wet for me, my little submissive dolly.” It wasn’t blood between your legs anymore, it was cum as an uncomfortable orgasm swelled through your body. Still, ever so still, you never moved. Remy lay next to you, unrecognizable outside of intuition as he’s just a pile of slashed flesh now.

“My perfect, lifeless doll.” You’re pliant in his hands.

Suddenly Scott is in front of you, a bodiless head , eyes gouged out of his face, nothing but bloody pits. Still he speaks.

“You did this.”

No. No you’d never-

“You’re dangerous. Violence follows you. You’re a grenade.”

It wasn’t you! It was Logan!

“It hasn’t always been Logan. But it’s always been you. You are the common denominator.”

You blink and it’s no longer the friends and family and children of your new life. It’s your mom and dad, siblings, in laws, everyone who meant something to you before. 

It’s your husband between your legs now, and you think there is nothing possible worse than this, nothing could be worse than him being back. Everything you went through, it’s never going to end. You’re dying. Maybe you’re dead because you’re watching from above now, your body on the ground and cold.

Your husband strokes your lifeless, compliant form. “The perfect wife.”

You’re back in your body, your mother lying next to you now. “Why couldn’t you just be good?”

You wake up to Remy shaking you.

His voice is an immediate calm, a recognition that he isn’t dead, he’s not a mass of gore on the floor while you’re being raped, killed for something you’ve done that you didn’t even know what. He’s alive.

“Remy!” You grab his shirt, pulling him to you and you don’t care that he’s a man half on your bed. He’s alive. Remy has often woken you from nightmares, his room right next to yours. Remy was closer, but Logan could hear you from further. Still, Remy was a light sleeper, so he usually got to you before Logan was aware.

Once you let go, Remy took several steps back, right up against the wall. This was something Remy did to prevent further anxiety. You trusted Remy fully, you never got an inkling that he wanted to fuck you or was playing the long game, just that he wanted to help you.

“They are getting worse again, pistache. It’s more often than when you first came here.”

You pull your blanket close to your chest even though you were fully covered. Remy slept in boxers, but he wore a robe around himself, something he bought after the first time he helped you through a nightmare. He came in in just his underwear and you were only three days into joining the school. Needless to say, seeing a man almost naked had scared the ever living hell out of you, so Remy bought a robe to cover up without having to waste time dressing. He was thoughtful like that. 

“I know, I know. I just… stress… I got the prom coming up, been a lot.”

Remy frowned, “Planning a high school dance shouldn’t trigger nightmares. Is this because of what happened at the ball?”

You wince. That memory was a lot, something that you didn’t like to think about. You doubted Scott did either, and if his jaw was ever the same. 

You took to long to answer, looking down at your blanket, so Remy continued. “I know that you and Logan have had… a falling out.” Your heart clenches at the words, heat flushing over your skin. Your blanket hid what you had been under loose clothing; a bump. You tuck your knees up so the blanket downs fall over your stomach. “I think he can fix it. You and him… well, I thought you’d get along before you ever met him. I brought your down stairs that first day because I’d seen him walking in, sent him to the store with you, sent him to have lunch… I think you two suit each other.” Remy gives you a smile. “You soften him. He protects you. It’s good for you both. Whatever it is, I think you can fix it. That’s all I’ll say.”

Remy stayed true to his word, not continuing about it… but you couldn’t help thinking how horrified he’d be if he found out what Logan did to you. He’s still gone, coming back any day now. Remy thought you softened him, and you suppose you did. For a while. 

You let Remy get you a snack, a little sweet treat to get the sick taste out of your mouth and cheer you up. He was kind, attentive, but the memory of him as nothing but a pile of slosh haunted you. Logan was dangerous. You were already worried about Scott prying where he didn’t need to, worrying about him getting himself killed, but now you think about Remy. What will he do when he learned Logan raped a baby into you?

Logan returns to his dolly next chapter! Next chapter we have 2 dances. Past, a ball Dolly put on because of the pride and prejuduce unit for her lit class, and presant she put on a sort of prom for the teenagers.

That chapter is where we get another HUGE chunk of dolly's past! the final bombwill be nearer to the end. I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts on what you think dollys secrets are!!! There was a hint this chapter!

Ideas for a poll is always welcome! as are songs for the playlist

I need to make a better cover pic now that ive gotten a feel for the series and its themes

If you've read Rooms on Fire or The Wrong Way, you know I tend to write a similar type for these dark series. Dolly, Little one and Madonna are all girly, quieter, feminine, submissive types. I hope that those whove read it all, because i know some people have read most things i put out, don find dolly boring. I think all three are unique in their own ways, and Dolly has her own things too, even if she's quiet and nervous

I love all yall and am so thankful for the support ive gotten here!!!!!

please remember, comments keep me writing. It doesnt have to be a compiment, just something that shows engagment like "remy is a good friend"

@multiversed-daydreamer @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @del-ightfulling @miraclesabound @hindi-si-ikay @samsamsantos @madamerubrum @shybluebirdninja a @hornystan @rogueinmymind @accountforreading123 @yawnetu @princessanglophile @and-claudia @new-genesis1000 @teaganthemorningstar @oldloganslittleslut @zaggprincess2 @bugsinmyeyez @groundclueless @cosmolight

[honeekyuu]

squeeze. [sakusa kiyoomi x reader] brews abridged intros.

aone's body count

masterlist.

[playlist]. brews abridged || vibes

a/n. i come here today to convince molly that aone is a pleasant lovely wonderful glorious perfect beautiful incredible precious lovable-[GUNSHOTS]

warnings: platonic soulmates hinatayn

✗ !!! minors do not interact !!! ✗

✗ !!! ignore timestamps !!! ✗

brews abridged is a 3-in-1 coffee shop-bookstore-wine bar (ive been to one of these before, theyre kinda crazy). theyve been in business for five years

hinata always wanted to run a bookstore and yachi always wanted to run a cafe, and yn said why the fuck not both??? and aone just nodded and joined in for the vibes

none of them know a single fucking thing about wine or running a wine bar, but it is somehow their most popular feature

they leave aone in charge of it and he just pours a glass of the nearest thing when customers approach the bar. people dont ask him for recommendations because it is so painfully clear he wont answer. it works for some reason, the masses love him.

otherwise, aone can most often be found lingering in hinata's general vicinity and pointing aggressively at shelves when people ask him for book recs

hinata's favorite pastime is starting arguments with aone because it is literally just him getting riled up and aone staring down at him and making faces

yachi is their token flower pretty baby girl -- she just smiles and speaks in butterflies and rainbows and every regular is in love with her

she upcharges them for their lattes when theyre not looking. she's never been caught

she is also responsible for aone's twt header. he had no opinions on the matter

the brews abridged crew are also roommates

they have a running tally called “days since aone’s spoken” hanging in the kitchen, because he texts in exclusively emojis 90% of the time

yn and hinata are childhood best friends, and they met yachi in high school. yn met aone in a bookstore and realized over the course of a few weeks that they were both regulars. she decided he was the most precious man to ever walk the earth and promptly adopted him. to this day, he has no idea what the hell that was about

aone’s music taste is JUST the brews abridged playlist. He only listens to the brews abridged playlist. this is why he doesnt have a spotify profile lol -- he doesnt add to their collaborative shop playlist at ALL, he just consumes and bops his little head

yn has a spine tattoo of a snake, and only her roommates know this. hinata has the same tattoo on his sternum.

hinatayn are platonic soulmates, they share a single brain cell and often make freaky telepathic eye contact across rooms

they flipped a coin for who had to get the sternum tattoo because it’s simply that painful and neither of them wanted it but they had already committed to the soulmate tattoos

let’s not talk ab the fact that they flipped a fucking coin to decide tattoo placements

hinata named their group chat. aone doesnt understand. he's never slept with any of them? why are they his body count?

taglist = [open]

@mollyrolls @nectardaddy @onlytendoguesses @scinclaitnoir @marsoverthestars

@bookskeepers @choerry-picking @siheez @introvertsince2003 @eggyrocks

@atrashsith @beckixwsm @kakeru-eem @atsumusc0ck @seroh

@reignsaway @a-little-pebbl @bakingcuriosity @dondoncool @corvid007

@asthmaticcchoeee @liliumaraneae @savemebrazilhinata @whydoyoucare866 

she put my hand up on her throat and told me // squeeze that shiiii-

squeeze [ghostemane].

[wormdebut]

67 if the steddies is still open!!!

HELLO THERE! Hi! Sorry this took a second, but it is here. And it certainly is something. #67 on my Spotify Wrapped is Judas by Lady Gaga The following blurb is rated a Hard M/Soft E. There is religious fuckery, daddy kink, hand kink, and spit. (Isn't there always with me?) Anywhozle, minors DNI. Everyone else, Enjoy.

----

Eddie loves Sundays. Sundays are great. He has time to lay down a few new guitar tracks, he gets high at noon, lounges around his house in his boxers. Sundays are great. Lately, Eddie gets something better than all of that though.

He gets Steve Harrington, pent up and in his Sunday best.

Eddie fucking loves Sundays.

He checks his watch, 12:15. Lovely. Steve should be here any--Eddie smiles to himself when he hears the soft knock at his front door. His soft boy.

Eddie waltzes over, pulling the front door open and Steve's eyes--big and wide--meet his own.

"Hi." Steve breathes as his eyes run up and down Eddie's shirtless tattooed chest. Eddie holds back a laugh, but can't stop the smirk when Steve's eyes go wider when he drags his gaze over Eddie's half hard cock in his boxer--He was tracking a bad ass song. So he got a little excited. Kill him. Steve's eyes snap back up to Eddie's.

He has a staring problem, Eddie's boy does. Eddie grabs him by the waist, Steve letting out a soft hum as Eddie pulls him inside. Sweet little thing.

"Hi baby boy." He says before pulling Steve in for a kiss. It's not even anything, a quick thing. Eddie has done much worse to his baby, but Steve whimpers. Melts into it.

So, church was rough today then.

Eddie can work with this.

He deepens the kiss, pushing his tongue into Steve's soft mouth, past his pink lips. Steve's lets out a noise between a sigh and a moan. Whines when Eddie pulls away, chasing after his lips.

Eddie leans back, grabbing Steve's face. Steve leans into his hand, hums. Eddie runs his finger over his cheekbone, delighting in the red blush running over his pretty face. He cocks his head, "Rough service?"

Steve shakes his head, still leaning into Eddie's touch. "D'wanna talk about it. Just want you." Steve jerks his head out of Eddie's hold and leans forward, trying for a kiss and Eddie clicks his tongue against his teeth, dropping his hold of Steve completely.

Eddie makes his way back to his sofa and Steve just stands by the door, eyes wide, frown wider. "I--Eds please." He breathes.

Eddie throws the strap of his guitar over his back and levels Steve with a sharp look. "Please what baby boy?"

"I--I need--" He stutters and Eddie raises an eyebrow. "I need you, daddy."

Oh. Steve only pulls that out when he's particularly down. Eddie tries his best not to smirk. His pretty baby will get what he needs, always does.

"I know you do, precious. But, I need to get this guitar tracking finished. So why don't you come over here and wait while I do?"

Eddie watches as Steve pouts. Perfect pink lip jutting out. Eddie sighs, "Stevie, you better put that bratty little lip away right now. You wanna be good, don't you?"

Steve straightens up and nods. Lets out a breathy "Yes."

Eddie smiles at that. "There's my good boy. C'mere, kneel in front of me. I want you to watch."

Steve is quick, doesn't even bother to take off his suit jacket as he rushes over. Eddie is quicker, throws a pillow down, before Steve can hurt himself on the damn hardwood.

"Jesus, baby." Eddie breathes. "Be nice to yourself."

Steve just kneels, eyes locked on Eddie's, doesn't speak. Doesn't want to. He is a man of little words on Sunday afternoons. His stupid fucking church ruse takes everything out of him.

Eddie hums, leaning forward to run a hand through Steve's hair, before he settles back into the sofa and hit the record button on his mac. This song is intense. Heavy guitar, he loses himself in it, like he is wont to do. Things couldn't be better for Eddie, he's got a successful music career and a fucking angel at his feet.

It's over before he knows it. He looks to Steve, still dutifully kneeling on his pillow. Eddie expects Steve's eyes to find his, like they always do, but Steve isn't looking for eye contact. He's looking at Eddie's hands. He watches as Steve's eyes track his fingers as he pulls off the guitar, sets it on the couch. Steve's eyes follow. Eddie smirks.

He snaps his fingers and that's what does it. Steve's eyes jerk up.

"Whatcha thinking about baby?" Eddie asks.

Steve just hums. "Your hands--fingers. Want 'em."

Eddie smirks, patting his lap, come here baby boy."

His boy scrambles up, quickly sitting in Eddie's lap, he leans forward for a kiss, which Eddie allows, before he leans back running his thumb across spit slicked lips. Steve's mouth drops open, tongue lolling out and Eddie--well.

Eddie pulls, forcing Steve's mouth to open wider and spits. Steve moans, but doesn't swallow. Knows not to.

"God, you are such a good boy." Eddie growls as he plunges to fingers into Steve's mouth, running them over his tongue, mixing his and Steve's spit. He pushes them back, into Steve's throat, "Swallow baby."

Steve groans as he swallows around the fingers in his mouth. Eddie can feel his cock through his dress pants. Today will be fun.

Eddie pulls his fingers out, watches as Steve's tries to lean forward, pull them back in. He taps at Steve's cheek, rubbing the spit up and down his pretty cheek.

Steve whimpers. "Oh my god."

Eddie laughs, darkly. "Mm no baby, God's not here."

----

Jesus is my virtue, and Judas is the demon I cling to.

[raid3r-r4bbit]

someone broke into my apartment. I havent been on because the only thing i have that i can access the internet on is my work computer ( i can get into trouble for using even spotify on that) and my switch ( just got it last monday. in another situation id be ecstatic about getting a new game system, but right now im just glad i didnt leave it out in the open)

Firstly, sorry if the formatting weird, im not used to my new phone yet.

Secondly im sorry for the people who wanted drawings from me, im gonna try my best to recreate them and post them.

Thirdly, this is really fucking long, tldr, someone broke it, let one of my cats out stole my tablet, phone, and a bunch of my games so thats why i was gone. read for details? I guess? I wouldnt lol.

also fuck you theres typos, of course theres gonna be typos.

SO…

small town does not equal no crime. After the (insert wherever the power comes from) was fixed, it has some issues and shut down again a few days later. idk why. My rm and i decided to walk to the gas station for lunch, they had power, music, cold drinks and food, and bathrooms that have functioning lights. Our landlord said it would only be a few hours, so we used our backup battery packs ( yes the ones we’re only supposed to use for work or incase of emergency) to power a fan and opened a window (the little net thing closed) for the cats and left.

because we were only going to be away for an hour, i left my phone (by accident) and tablet on the couch. in plain view of the window.

well, we have a lot of college students who walk directly by out porch ( i even had a girl threaten to call the cops on me for smoking… on my own fuckin porch) and two other girls who decided it was public chatting place and were upset that interupted them wheni asked them to leave.)

we dont know if it was a college student, or someone else, called the cops and got it all sorted there wasnt much they could do ( figures)

they came in through the window, and we think they either left it open, or that Patches, one of my cats, got out when the opened it, because she was gone when we came home, and she liked to hang out by the window. Thankfully, miso hates going outside, and katsu is scared of everyone and hides when people come over. we still havent found patches. im not worried about her, she didnt really like us, she isnt declawed, and she was orginally an outdoor cat anyways. we left out food and water and liter for her, but if she comes back she comes back. ive lost enough animals not fret over it. (tbh if it was on of the other two id probably sob)

but whoever broke in stole a bunch of my game stuff. we dont think they even went into out bedrooms, cause nothing was out of place. it took me realizing some of out stuff, the cat and the askew window (what the fuck is that thing called??) to realize we’d been robbed. ( well me actually, my roomate keeps all his stuff in his room which is fair because other than HBO i pay for all the streaming services, and i (thankfully still have) 4 consoles, which wont fit in my tiny ass room.)

they took my phone and tablet. (not worried about the phone, it was some dinky burner phone) a package off our porch ( it was mario kart, i got a switch like last monday, and the only game i have is animal crossing. very fun. thankfully, id left it on my desk.) they also took a few of my games, thankfully i have duplicates of most of the ones they took and digital copies.

ironically, the version of TLOU and FO4 (i have 4 copies of fo4 including the digital copy) were the scratched up versions, they did take my copy of infamous for the ps3. and they also took my unopened copy of RDR2. so like, pricey items but the only thing im upset about are my tablet and my cat.

for those wanting the drawings i promised, i will still get them to you, thankfully i had a warranty on it and its getting replaced after the police finish whatever it is they say they do. ( doubtful) so it may take a hot minute.

however it also means i have to completely restart my issue 2 of my comic, as i hadn't saved the final pages and the wips anywhere other than my phone and tablet. personally, im frustrated, but it gives me a chance to change a few wee details and try out a style ive been thinking on.

so im probably not going to be super super active for the next few (idk how long, im sorry) but i will draw what i said i would.

As for patches, i told my mom if she comes back pregnant ( again -_-) that we are going to yeet her into a rocket to live with the martians, and get a new cat. (or if she doesnt come back. we work best with a three cat ratio) if its boy we are probably going to name him garbanzo. (this is mostly a joke, but she was intended to be temporary as a friend of mine couldnt keep her anymore and we had been looking for a home for her. surprisingly, nobody wanted a super chill calico who enjoyed nothing but food and sitting directly on your trachea.)

anyways, im tired. ill be patiently waiting for my new tablet and trying to make my ACNH island as destroyed and apocalyptic as possible. (new squared? i got the other one for my birthday last year, so its been almost a year exactly. my birthdays on the 28th <_< >_> if anyones interested in knowing.)

sorry if this is a ramble. im high af and somewhere in between pissed off, depressed, and overly happy about tiny little animals and bells.

[a-moth-to-the-light]

when your alarms don't go off but you aren't exactly mad about it (dec 07, 2022)

It's been a little bit since I've done one of these! Life is hard, especially since I've been living in a triggered state for a little while now, but I appreciate getting to sit down and write, even if it's not too often!

Spotify Wrapped, 2

Today, we're talking about my Top Songs 2022 playlist, as created by Spotify! My comments, straight from my brain to your home heating system:

a. The lack of Bruce Springsteen here is surprising--I figured we might get "Lonesome Day" or "Land of Hope and Dreams" or "The River", all of which have been on my mind this year, in there somewhere, but the only Springsteen song on the list was "I'm Goin' Down" (though it was at #13, which is kind of awesome). It's a fantastic song that definitely matched my mood this year, so I'm glad it got represented-- but where's the rest of my Springsteen? How am I supposed to prove my fanboy status if Spotify does this to me :(

b. The artists tied for most songs on the list are Red Velvet & Bad Suns, each with five songs! Last year, only GFRIEND had five songs on the list--it's fun to have a tie this year! (And yes, one of those songs was "Mago"--even though we didn't know it was a goodbye song back then, there's something about it that just makes it the perfect way to finish off such a glorious career.) Perhaps most impressive is that all five Bad Suns songs are from only two albums total--I've actually only listened to two of their four albums, and yet I've already found so many classics!

c. There are four songs that have managed to make my Top Songs lists for three years straight now (my lists from 2018 & 2019 are very different, as my taste shifted a lot in 2020, so no songs have made it on more than three lists)--"As If It's Your Last" by Blackpink, "Bad Boy" by Red Velvet, "Blueming" by IU, and "Why So Lonely" by Wonder Girls (And "I Feel You" is back for its second year! Yay Wonder Girls!). Usually, when people gush about "Bad Boy" (as Reveluvs on YouTube are wont to do), I think okay, I don't really get it but I'm glad they're happy. I'm fully on team "Really Bad Boy", but apparently I like "Bad Boy" more than I thought I did. Also don't make fun of me for having "Why So Lonely" on here... yes I feel chronically empty inside and yes I need a passive-aggressive sadgirl anthem to help me through it and yes that hasn't changed in three years and probably never will! (lighthearted)

d. WHY WON'T SPOTIFY LET ME SORT THIS GODDAMN LIST BY ARTIST??!?!?!?!

e. Both songs from Sumni's Heart Burn single made it into my top 20!

f. UNNATURAL BY WJSN IS BACK FOR A SECOND YEAR AND SHE DESERVES IT SO SO MUCH

the day, in short

So I actually never fell asleep on Tuesday night, and I ended up giving up on trying to sleep around four a.m. and just heading to the gym when it opened at six! Then I had the glorious experience of age-regressing at the gym in the hell-hours of the morning: tottering around the track, watching the sunrise, and struggling to relearn how to put gloves on. Being a kid is tough, but it really did feel magical to enjoy the gym through a child's eyes, especially with the novelty of being there so early in the morning (we usually take our walks around the track right before dinner)!

After our first class, we got to take a nap! We always like falling asleep in the daytime so much better than falling asleep at night--the only issue is that people keep wanting us to do things during the day. sigh We ended up napping wayyyyy too long, though, oversleeping our alarm and missing a class (+ the start of our other class). This is what happens when we forget to take our sleeping pills--we don't sleep at all, and then, when we take one the next day, all the tiredness catches up to us. I'm pretty sad about missing those classes, since I was really excited for some of the stuff happening, but I'm glad I got such a nice nap--I'm struggling with emotion-management already, so trying to do so on even less sleep would probably have been even more hellish. My body knows what it needs; it really is looking out for me :)

And yes I know I'm switching between I & we here! That's a pretty common thing I do when talking about myself, so hopefully it's not too confusing! It just makes the most sense to me to use a mix of both, especially when I'm comfortable enough that I don't feel the need to mask! arm wave for emphasis

Quote of the Day

#tittyequality

-- not me this time, though this is probably something i would say (embarrassed)!

[1ddotdhq]

🍌Wed 2 Dec ‘20💚

Harry Styles Reacts to Banana Innuendo Rumors by Making EVEN MORE Banana Innuendos part TWO

Good morning/evening/night to Harry’s post and Harry’s post ONLY! (Okay that’s not true but it was definitely a highlight of my day). In case people haven’t seen it yet, it’s Harry in a light blue custom made suit putting a penis banana in his mouth. The picture is captioned “Bring Back Manly Men” so take a suck on THAT Candace Owens! It was only one of many great pictures in his variety shoot (including another, um, fruity picture of him biting into a pomegranate okay Persephone we get it), but Harry did indeed choose That One to post on This, the day after banana necklace dickscourse, BLESS. Harry’s interview was a little more in depth than they have been in the past, touching upon his feelings on race (“Historically, I can’t think of any industry that’s benefited more off of Black culture than music. There are discussions that need to happen about this long history of not being paid fairly. It’s a time for listening, and hopefully, people will come out humbled, educated and willing to learn and change”), as well as his tattoos (the only time he regrets them is in the DWD makeup chair), his love of reading, fashion and art, his exercise routine (Kid Harpoon couldn’t keep up!),  and his feelings on success and acclaim (“It’s never why I do anything...it's always nice to know that people like what you’re doing, but ultimately — and especially working in a subjective field — I don’t put too much weight on that stuff...Fans are the best A&R”). 

The problems arose - as they so often do - when One Direction was mentioned. The article said that “The proof [of the band’s benefits] is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members- Payne, Malik and Horan in addition to Styles- each of whom has landed hit singles on charts in the U.K., the U.S. and beyond”. Leaving aside the bad math (that's 4 people!) one name, of course, is notably missing: Louis has in fact enjoyed quite a lot of success both with Walls (remember when his album went #1 on iTunes in the UK AND the US literally 2 months ago?) and his pre-Walls singles like “Back To You” and “Just Hold On”. It got worse because the author tried to back up her claim with Harry’s quote, “When you look at the history of people coming out of bands and starting solo careers, they feel this need to apologize for being in the band...but we loved being in the band...I think there’s a wont to pit people against each other. And I think it’s never been about that for us. It’s about a next step in evolution. The fact that we’ve all achieved different things outside of the band says a lot about how hard we worked in it”. By linking her own words with Harry's quote she made it seem as though Harry said it to agree with her biased take, which we'd know he didn't even if we hadn't heard him say this exact quote without that slant multiple times before. Fans were quick to point out both to the author and to Variety that they were wrong (to describe the reaction mildly), and the author rather than fixing the mistake, doubled down and began blocking fans. Plenty of people were quick to say that of course HSHQ and Harry had approved this content, despite more knowledgeable fans trying to be heard protesting that that is not how it works. (Remember how just recently Vogue got Harry’s whole ass FAMILY situation wrong and it was not corrected until after print, for example?) In fact, even the magazine didn't really proofread this- the print version of the article is different and says, “The proof is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members - Styles, Malik and Horan”, effectively erasing both Louis AND Liam. It's an annoying take either way, but it's one the author more than likely picked up by doing her research on harrie twitter, not on orders from Jeff.

And because we DO NOT STAND FOR LILO ERASURE ON THIS BLOG, let’s talk about Liam’s Web Summit panel! It was 25 minutes of Liam and Marian Dicus (VP of Spotify) being interviewed about the current and future state of the music industry. Both of them, of course, noted that things had changed very quickly in their careers back at the beginning of lockdown, and how it had seemed surreal, at first, but that Liam had found that the way he was operating now (with Veeps and Tik Tok and Instagram lives) had made his platform a two way interaction with his fans. “For a long time I've been living in a dream world where I thought I was speaking with my fans but really I was just talking at them whereas we as artists ask a lot of rhetorical questions... I wanted to start a conversation”. Marian discussed how engaging fans differently WAS one of the most difficult things to puzzle out at the beginning, but that as months have passed, it seems artists like Liam have found a viable virtual future in the music industry (Liam tells us that he's been doing “stadium size shows” on Veeps which is an exciting clue about the mystery of how many tickets they're selling). They also went into the way music trends change as a response to social and political occurrences, how comfort songs gave way to protest songs this summer. Liam said, “People want their artists to have an opinion nowadays it's not that we can stay out of the conversation anymore-- and nor do we feel that we should in many places-- but for me it's a fine line because I realize what I do for people is an escape, people don't want things rammed down their throats every day and news messages from me about things that they don't want to hear about if they've come to listen to music, so its a real fine line that we kind of teeter on”. And about his opening acts, he acknowledges that his fanbase are mostly young women (based on the data breakdowns he gets from his team), and so he feels a responsibility to mentor young female artists in the industry so that more people like his fans have a voice. In an interview full of really fascinating music and technical discussions, this remained my favorite moment from Liam. Just like we won’t erase HIM, he refuses to erase US! And let's not forget our Liam alarm of the day-- it starts out absolutely adorable (“good moooorning!”), is hilarious in that apparently he just rambled completely unscripted and then they awkwardly cut it into 25 parts, but today's installment is frankly not relaxing! “only 23 sleeps til christmas have you done your shopping are you prepared” excuse me Liam YOU ARE STRESSING ME OUT. The promised relaxing sleep story affirmations are still 'coming soon'-- hurry up please I need them to decompress after that alarm!

Now for a lightning round of epic proportions: DWD darling pictures and vids keep comin’ and Harry and Florence are both looking GORGEOUS as Jack and Alice,  after the Variety shoot dropped ‘THE CAPTION’, ‘BRING BACK MANLY MEN’, and ‘LOUIS IS SUCCESSFUL’ trended worldwide on twitter, Tan France said “yes please” to Harry's banana post, Harry reiterated that London was home and he didn’t want to be in LA for longer than he needed to,Variety has its virtual show tomorrow at 5 pm PST so see you there! Veeps is sending out emails promoting Louis’ show to people who bought LP show tickets, fans have already started to receive their Louis Tomlinson Live From London merch, Trinity College in Dublin’s Law society presented Niall with an award for, uh, his Irishness, I guess? (Just kidding, it’s for “his incredible talent and work ethics which is famously underscored by a distinct humility despite unthinkable success”). It looks like he will be giving a talk when he’s presented with it, and I’m honestly really interested to see what it’s all about - is he...gonna be talking to law students? Idk but tune in on December 7th at 12 pm GMT to find out!

[valen-dreth]

why tf wont firefox let me open spotify

[the-starless-sky]

BAE x The Cat’s Whiskers / “PRIDE” voice drama track 2

Listen through Spotify.

Warning(s): This episode has an explanation of BAE’s traumas. It’s all a bit heavy, and Anne’s has to do with gender, so please watch out.

(Anne enters the room.)

Anne: Sigh.

Allen: How was it?

Anne: No good. He won’t come out no matter what I say.

Allen: I see. I... it’s the first time I saw Hajun seriously angry.

Anne: Yeah. I was surprised... for him to show his emotion and get angry like that...

Allen: He... what kind of face is he making now...?

Anne: I want to know, too, but there’s nothing else we could do but let him be for now, don’t you think?

Allen: No... As I thought, I’ll go and try to talk to him once again!

Anne: WhaーI’m going too!

(The two of them go to Hajun’s room.)

(Allen knocks on Hajun’s door.)

Allen: Hajun, you can hear me, can’t you!? You don’t have to open the door. That’s why, just like that, listen to me.

Hajun: How stubborn. After I calm down, I’ll go out by myself. Of course, with a smile as usual. That’s why, please leave me alone.

Allen: That means you’re not smiling right now! Right?

Hajun: What about it? Even I have times when I’m upset.

Allen: That’s not what I’m talking about...! I’m frustrated. When you thrust him away, I thought, ‘ah, he’s seriously angry’... it’s the first time I saw your face like that. It’s a face that you’ve never shown to me nor Anne.

Anne: Yeah...

Allen: And I thought, it’s frustrating, but... what Compra Daimaou sad was right. We haven’t seriously confronted each other. That we’ve only been looking at each other’s convenient sides...

Hajun: ...!

Allen: That’s why, now, I’m angry at myself. Even though I’m the one who was always with you the most, doing hip hop together, I... I didn’t try to see the real you. That’s why... in the depths of my ear, I could hear the sound of a record disk breaking. And flames burn... as everything in front of me turns deep red.

Anne: Allen...?

Allen: I’m talking about trap reactions. Mine... always starts like that.

Anne: Trap reactions, you say? But, Allen, that’s...

Allen: It’s fine! I want you guys to listen. You guys know about my family, right? Both of my parents are classical musicians, and they absolutely wont acknowledge hip hop. I know that, so I listened to hip hop in secret. But then I got completely absorbed in it, and...

_

(Sounds of record disk breaking.)

Allen’s mother: Such grating sounds like hip hop... where in the world did you pick it up from?

Allen’s father: Don’t listen to such worthless music!! Your ears will get dirty!!

Allen: Stop!! Don’t burn it...!! Please... only that...

Allen’s mother: Allen, you’re talented. If you listen to Papa and Mama, you could even become a world-class musician!

Allen’s father: We gave birth to you for that reason, not to let you play trashy music like this.

Allen: Please... I finally understood... the music I want to do is hip hop...! That’s why... Ahhhhh!!

Allen’s father and mother: You’re wrong. You’re wrong. You’re wrong. You’re wrong. You’re wrong. You’re wrong. You’re wrong. You’re wrong. You’re wrong. You’re wrong. You’re wrong. You’re wrong.

Allen: Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

_

Allen: They burned everything. The records I collected one by one, the equipment I finally managed to buy by saving my pocket money, I was locked up in the house for days... They keep denying my music... no, denying me. After that, Hajun, you know it best, don’t you?

Anne: Ah, that’s unfair. I haven’t heard about that!

Allen: I escaped from the room I was confined in, and ran away to this place. I didn’t think I’d keep living here after that, though.

Anne: So that’s how it was...

Allen: This is my trauma. The nightmare I see during trap reactions. Shameful, isn’t it? To keep recalling again and again the day my treasure got burnt by my parents when I was a brat.

Allen: No it’s not! It’s not. Mine starts with the sound of a scissor.

_

(The sounds of scissors clipping.)

Anne’s mother: Look, you turned wonderful!

Anne: Sob... hic...

Anne’s mother: Long hair don’t suit you, Anjin [1]. You’re a boy, after allーshort hair’s way better.

Anne: Hic... But I...!

Anne’s mother: Anjin!!

Anne: ...!

Anne’s mother: When Papa left, you promised him, right? That from now on, Anjin will become Mama’s prince.

Anne: Yeah...

Anne’s mother: Right!? Right, Anjin! I love you, Anjin! I want to love, you Anjin! That’s why, Anjin, please stay as Mama’s prince forever...

Anne: Yeah... that’s right... I’m Mama’s prince, after all... I have to be loved by Mama... hic...

_

Anne: Haha, that’s definitely a toxic parent, right? But... I couldn’t run away. Even now, I still think I want to be Mama’s prince, somewhere in my heart. I want to love and be loved.

Allen: ...!

Anne: But if it goes on, both of us will break. I knew that, so I left home. Haha. The story of my trap reaction ends here! Seriously, shameful, isn’t it? Not being able to stand independently from my parents even now...

Allen: Anne...

Anne: It’s fine. I thought I’d have to talk about it either way someday, and now I feel relieved after I say it frankly with all of my might.

Hajun: I was told I’m an unneeded child.

Allen: Ah... Hajun, what did you sayー

Hajun: I was told I’m an unneeded child.

Allen: ...! Is that, by Compra Daimaou...?

Hajun: Yes. That’s how it starts for me.

Anne: Start... you mean...?

Hajun: My trap reaction.

Anne: ...!

Hajun: You guys know that I’m the son of the head of Yeon Conglomerate, right?

Allen: Yeah.

Hajun: However, I’m an adopted child. I was taken in to that house when I was a child, just to succeed the family.

Anne: Hajun... if it’s painful, you don’t have to force yourself to say itー

Hajun: My parents... were probably good people. They raised me, who had no blood relation to them, as they would their real son. They probably loved me, as wellーto an extent. ...Until the real son was born.

_

(Sounds of baby crying.)

Hajun’s father: Hajun. I’ll have you go to Japan.

Hajun: Eh...!?

Hajun’s mother: For Yeon Conglomerate, Japan’s an important business partner. It’s not bad to master Japanese while you have the chance.

Hajun: But I...!

Hajun’s father: It seems like you don’t understand.

Hajun’s mother: Hajun. That means, you’re not a necessary existence in this house anymore.

Hajun: Eh...!?

Hajun’s mother: The most important thing in Yeon Conglomerate is to be related by blood. Because one has blood relations with Yeon Family, one could be the head everyone acknowledges.

Hajun’s father: Fortunately, God has blessed us with a son. You’re a clever childーyou know what that means, don’t you?

Hajun: Then... I’m...

Hajun’s father: That’s right, Hajun. You’re an unneeded child. Unneeded child. Unneeded child. Unneeded child.

_

Hajun: It makes me remember the day when my parents told me I’m an unneeded child. Repeatedly, repeatedly, the day when I got thrown away miserably like a dog.

Allen: That’s why, that time, you...

Hajun: Yes. I subconsciously lost my cool. It was just as that guy from The Cat’s Whiskers said. I’m scared. ...Of becoming an unneeded child again.

Allen & Anne: ...!

Hajun: That’s why, I never get serious with anyone. Even more so if it’s someone I cherish. Wearing a smiling mask, never showing my real self. Because it’s scary. It’s frightening. After all, I’m an unneeded child... If I believe in someone, love them, and get betrayed again... thrown away again, I can’t bear it. If so, then I wont everー

Allen: Don’t be stupid!! Hajun, you’re not an unneeded child!

Hajun: ...!

Allen: No matter what anyone says, you’re not an unneeded child!! Plus, I won’t ever betray you, Hajun! I won’t throw you away! Hajun. Do you remember? The day when I tumbled here.

Hajun: Yes...

Allen: You let the tattered me stay without asking anything, didn’t you? Keeping quiet from your parents and school... and then one day, you said it: ‘That’s nice.’

Hajun: ...!

Allen: To the rap I muttered nonchalantly... to that rap, which you couldn’t even call ‘music’, you said, ‘that’s nice.’ That time, I understood. I still have myself. I thought I’ve lost everything, but I still have myself! Even if it was broken, or burnt... it could never be snatched away. I... the sound echoing inside of me, will never be erased by anyone! That’s why, that time, the one who saved me was you, Hajun! That I could do hip hop without losing myself, it’s all because of you! Hajun!

Hajun: ...!

Allen: Getting denied, and denied... Being told that I’m worthless, getting broken, burnt... to the tattered me, you said ‘it’s nice’. You accepted me, and asked me to do hip hop together. Who the hell would throw away such an important person!?

(Allen hits the door.)

Hajun: ...! You’re such an idiot.

Allen: Eh?

Hajun: It’s not something you have to get fired up about. So embarrassing.

Allen: Embarrassing, you said...

Hajun: Are you crying?

Allen: I’m not crying...

Anne: Haha, Allen, you’re crying. Like, a lot.

Allen: Don’t lie!! Look, it’s...!

Anne: Yeah, yeah, it’s the sweat of your heart, is it?

Allen: Yeah, it’s my heart’s sweat!

Hajun: Pft. Jeez... now that you’ve cried before I do...

(Hajun opens the door.)

Allen & Anne: Hajun...!

Hajun: What a hindrance. If you guys stand around there, I can’t open the door.

Allen: Ah... yeah!

Anne: Hajun...?

Hajun: I’m fine already. I’m sorry for making you guys worried.

Anne: No... thank you, Hajun.

Hajun: Hm? Why did you thank me?

Anne: ‘Cause I’m happy. To hear Hajun’s real self, that is.

Hajun: Anne...

(Allen’s stomach growls.)

Allen: Aah... now that I’m relieved, suddenly I feel hungry.

Anne: Then, shall we go eat out somewhere?

Allen: I wanna go to Raimen-tei! I want char siu ramen with double the char siu! Of course, it’s Hajun’s treat!

Hajun: Ha!? Why do I have to treat you guys!?

Anne: Then, I want a tenshin-don! [2] With all-you-can-drink draft beer!

Hajun: Waitー

Allen: Come on, let’s go!

Anne: Ah, I wanna retouch my makeup!

Allen: That kinda thing, it’s fine already!

Anne: What do you mean by ‘that kinda thing’!?

Hajun: Jeez, you guys... thank you.

Allen: Huh?

Hajun: It’s nothing. Can’t be helped, I’ll treat you all today. Let’s go.

Anne: Free meal’s the best!

Allen & Anne: Haha!

_

(Sound of door knocked.)

Anne: Yes, please come in.

(Door opens.)

Saimon: Hello. I’m coming in.

Anne: Saimon-sensei! And everyone else, too...

Ryuu: Hello~! It’s Ryuu-kun!

Shiki: Excuse me...

Yohei: We came to return the gift from last time. Well, call it observing the enemy movements.

Allen: Enemy... is it?

Saimon: It’s a joke. We have no intention to treat you as an enemy. But, indeed we’re interested in you guys. There’s that thing from last time, too, after all.

Allen: Ah, if that’s it, thenー

Hajun: Then, how was it? The trend-jumping, cutting edge-pretending child’s play?

Yohei: He’s really pickin’ a fight, ain’t he.

Anne: Ah, but I want to hear, as well. Please tell us honestly.

Saimon: Come on, Yohei.

Yohei: I’ll take back my words. Sorry for dissin’ you guys.

Allen: Huh!?

Yohei: You guys’ sound today had a core. Something that wont waver, as rappers. No, I felt your pride as a team. It’s different from our style, but I’ll acknowledge it. That was a nice stage.

Hajun: ...

Yohei: Especially you, 48, was it?

Hajun: Yes.

Yohei: How to say it... you broke out of your shell, huh?

Hajun: Thanks to all of you.

Saimon: With this, I’m getting even more excited in battling with all of you. Of course, we have no intention to lose. We’ll bet on our pride and do our own hip hop.

Yohei: We won’t letcha call us behind the times.

Shiki: I-I’ll do my best!

Ryuu: Hmmm? Hey, Mushroom-kun... you...

Hajun: ...!?

Ryuu: You came out of your box!

Hajun: ...!

Ryuu: But you have to hurry, you know? After all, you don’t have much time left.

Hajun: ...!!

Ryuu: Hey, hey, Boss, Master! Ryuu-kun’s in high spirit today! Let’s go back to the floor!

Yohei: We’re done here. Let’s go home.

Saimon: I also have class tomorrow.

Ryuu: Eeeh!? Boring!!! Shiki, you idiot!!!

Shiki: Eh, why me!?

_

Allen: Hajun, are you okay!?

Anne: If he said something weird to you again, this time I’ll knock him down!

Hajun: Haha. No, it’s nothing. You guys are such worrywarts.

Allen: I mean...!

Anne: Right!?

Hajun: Come on, let’s go home. Allen, if you keep dawdling, you’ll lose your metal again.

Allen: ...!! You’re still hung up over that!? You have a bad personality!

Anne: As expected from the sadistic smiling prince!

Hajun: Let’s go, Anjin.

Anne: Hey, I told you to not call me by that name, didn’t I!

Allen: Seems like it’d be good to add ‘wicked-tongued’ to the sadistic smiling prince.

Anne: Seriously, jeez!

Allen: Now it’s wicked-tongued, sadistic smiling prince.

Anne: For some reason, the ‘prince’ never gets removed.

Allen: I wonder why?

Hajun: If I’m with you guys, perhaps, I’m sure...

Notes

[1] I heard Anji first, but then I think it’s actually Anjin?

[2] Tenshin-don is crab meat omelette on rice!! That sounds really good...

Now we get BAE’s backstory... and I’m now solidifying my role as Allen’s girlfriend!!! Not accepting complaints!!! (jk).

Maybe cozmez next on “FAMILY”?

[slashingdisneypasta]

Male!Villain x Reader || Playlist Fanfic

Title: Twisted Intimacy 

Duration: 65 mins. | | These songs are all availably on Spotify. |

What is this? : I’m telling a fanfiction through songs! This way, we can really put ourselves in the story without all my blabber and feel things that only music can convey. I hope its easy to follow, and you like it! ^^ I hope to make a female villain one and one with a masculine reader voice at some point, too. 

Plot:  This is a very basic Villain x Reader story where the reader tries to move on from villain and be with a good person, but of course the heart wants what the heart wants and if the heart wants the sexy bad guy there isn't much you can do to stop it! ... right? 

Thank You | Amy Diamond |: You were in a relationship with Villain, but you’ve finally gathered the courage to leave him and that is exactly what you’re doing. You think you wont miss him. 

~ I'm out, I'm closing a chapter

~ Thank you for all that you've done for me Now I know what real love is supposed to be Can't waste my time, so goodbye my baby, baby, baby Thank you

You'll Be Back | Jonathon Groff, Hamilton |: Villain is far more aware of his feelings for you, then you are of your feelings for him, and is deluded into thinking that you'll come right back to him.

~ You'll be back, soon you'll see You'll remember you belong to me You'll be back, time will tell You'll remember that I served you well

~ You say our love is draining and you can't go on You'll be the one complaining when I am gone And no, don't change the subject 'Cause you're my favourite subject My sweet, submissive subject

She's Got A Boyfriend Now | Boys Like Girls |: Our Villain is taken on an ego crushing trip to the ground when he realises you really have found someone new. Someone good, who you like. Who you got together with and dated normally, instead of the cat and mouse game that Villain played with you. 

~ Wish that I could turn this car around But she's got a boyfriend now

~ Maybe I thought I could sneak in And sweep her off her feet and go right back to Boston Thinking everything's goin' be alright

~ But she’s got a boyfriend now 

Boyfriend | Lou Bega |: Villain doesn’t like your boyfriend at all! No, no.

~ I love everything about you girl Don't you understand? I love you from head to toe, girl But I hate your boyfriend

~  He's a fake, ain't no man Not even able to count to ten

~  So come on girl, choose your joy: You can pick me or your little boy

SOS | Rihanna |: You reflect on your physical, sort of more animalistic need for Villain (Especially in regards to comparing him to your new guy)

~ S.O.S., please someone help me It's not healthy for me to feel this Y.O.U. are making this hard I can't take it, see it don't feel right

~  This time, please someone come and rescue me 'Cause you on my mind, it's got me losing it I'm lost, you got me lookin' for the rest of me Love is testing me, but still I'm losing it

According To You | Orianthi |: You start to realise that all the things that your New Guy doesn’t like about you, the Villain loved. Loves, in fact. Present tense. You wonder whether that’s okay. You get upset. You take a break from new guy.

~  According to you I'm difficult Hard to please Forever changing my mind I'm a mess in a dress ~ But according to him I'm beautiful Incredible He can't get me out of his head 

Fuck Away The Pain | Divide The Day |: Aha... ya’ll know what this mean...  

~ Fuck away the pain, erase him from your brain Fake it like you love me, Come on baby touch me 

Right Kind Of Wrong | LeAnn Rimes |: It’s not only physical now. You know you've fallen again for Villain, but you know, you shouldn't.

~ Say my name and I can't fight it anymore Oh I know, I should go

~  Loving you isn't really something I should do Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you That I should try to be strong But baby you're the right kind of wrong

I Didn't Just Kiss Her | Jen Foster |: Villain is having a bad time, now. It wasn’t just a kiss, it wasn’t even just a night. Not for him, and he knows not for you either. It was more than that. But you're going back to your new guy, now. You're denying it was any more then a night of weakness, and it hurts him. He wants to hurt you, back, and that want manifests itself into vulgarity and honesty. 

~ She likes to think she didn't invite it But these scratches aren't because she tried to fight it

~  I don't know what the problem is Why she gotta try so hard to keep it all a secret

~ She's gonna go back to her boyfriend now Before the questions come up She's gonna tell 'em I'm stalking her round the clock Like I'm making the story up

Love The Way You Lie | Eminem, Rihanna |: You and Villain fight, because he knows how you feel it too and you know how you feel it, but you're still trying to run away. You’ve always indulged in mutually toxic fights, its the reason you left, and it’s awful. But the connection between the two of you is undeniable.

~ Now I know we said things, did things That we didn't mean and we fall back into the same patterns Same routine, but your temper's just as bad, as mine is You're the same as me, when it comes to love, you're just as blinded Baby please come back, it wasn't you Baby it was me, maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems Maybe that's what happens When a tornado meets a volcano All I know is I love you too much, to walk away now

The Way I Loved You | Taylor Swift |: Just after the fight you’re on your own again. You’ve cooled down, and you think more about the differences between your love for Villain, and your love for the New Guy.

~ He respects my space and never makes me wait And he calls exactly when he says he will He's close to my mother Talks business with my father He's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable

~ But I miss screamin' and fightin' And kissin' in the rain And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name You're so in love that you act insane And that's the way I loved you

History | Olivia Holt |: You're ready to break up properly, for good, with your new guy. Because you aren’t ready for a relationship like he wants. He's lovely, and despite your differences, he's good. But it’s clear you haven’t moved on from Villain and they're still there. Hanging over your heart like a raincloud and it’s not fair to new guy for you to stay with him.

~ Sorry, I don't really see this workin' out It's nothin' you did I just can't do this right now

~ Baby, you're so perfect But he's the perfect one for me I know that you're worth it But somethin' 'bout him gets to me Gets to me, all I need Plus, we got history

I Am Always Gonna Love You | Jon McLaughlin |: This is your new guy apologising to you, asking for your forgiveness, and asking for you back. Saying he loves you, he really does. And he asks you to marry him. You say yes. (There is a sort of sad tone to it, because he knows you love Villain as well- he just wants you to know how well he would treat you, if you let him, in comparison to how Villain would and has.)

~ I'm going to love you til my dying day I'll be beside you when you're old and grey Just like the feelings that I feel right now I'm never going to go away

~  From the picture perfect moments That I never want to end To the couch and tv kind of afternoons You're a light that's always shining And there's a million reasons why I know that I am always going to love you

Marry Me (Guy) | Thomas Rhett |: Villain at your wedding. Tense on the ‘Ain’t gonna marry me’ and not ‘Don’t wanna marry me’. Because he knows you want him, you just aren't going to. 

~ So I'm in my black suit, black tie, hiding out in the back Doing a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees Yeah, she gonna get married But she ain't gonna marry me

Marry Me (Girl) | Elle Mears |: You at your wedding. 

~ I’ve got on my dress now, welcoming the guests now I could try to find him, get it off my chest now  ~ He’s the one I wanna marry But he don’t wanna marry me  

So Close | Jon McLaughlin |: You share a dance with Villain at your wedding, and theirs a drowning amount of pining for each other. Gentle, happy tones as well though because you're happy with each other.

~ You're in my arms And all the world is calm

~ A life goes by Romantic dreams must die So I bid my goodbye

~  So close to reaching That famous happy end Almost believing This one's not pretend And now you're beside me And look how far we've come So far we are, so close

Bleeding Love | Leona Lewis |: Something has snapped. You're suddenly ready to be with Villain. You don’t want to marry your new guy- you want Villain. So, you leave the wedding with him, and you know people will think you're insane and maybe you are but all you know is that the way they make you feel? It’s a good kind of pain. 

~ But nothings greater, than the rush that comes with your embrace And in this world of loneliness, I see your face Yet everyone around me, thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

~ But I don't care what they say I'm in love with you They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth My heart's crippled by the vein, that I keep on closing You cut me open and I  

Chains | Tina Arena |: Ending song. 

~ I'm in chains I pretend I can always leave Free to go whenever I please But then the sound of my desperate calls Echo off these dungeon walls I've crossed the line from mad to sane A thousand times and back again I love you baby

[afoolnottoloveu]

why make a carrd when i can tell you everything you need to know about me here??

written intro: hi! my name is thea (or u can call me tea!) and this is my bloggggg, i generally try to be a safe space but i talk abt myself a lot, abt my interests and reblog things i find funny or i enjoy, or prompt my followers to interact hehe. i hope u enjoy ur stay here and thank you for dropping by in the first place! it means a lot. have a a good day!

—

about me ;;

names: t / tea / thea (they-uh)

old @s: m-n-m,, gublertoon

pronouns: they/them ,, subject to change ONLY with my direct acknowledgment (don’t go calling me smth else just bc u see one of my moots saying it)

age: minor!! pls dont pop in my dms if ur looking for stuff from me i will block u very quickly

tidbits: aapi/se asian, lives in pst, isfp, leo sun aries moon aquarius rising, definitely pansexual, probably genderfluid

social media: my public twt is @nythinq ,, if u would like my stan bts twt pls check my sideblog hehe (or u can dm me) // link to my spotify

—

stuff you'll find me blogging about:

- bts txt enhypen itzy (often) (rb sideblog @lderthnbmbs)

- mxmtoon <3

- other artists i like such as dodie, chloe moriondo, eh it changes quite frequently

- cm (occasional)

- polygon (on my sideblog @polygonslut)

- cartoons [vld, spop, miraculous] (occasional)

- "where are my followers" (often)

- writing ? (kinda often?)

—

dnf/dni if:

- basic dni criteria (racist, homophobic)

- think pansexuality isnt real, think bi/pan lesbians Are real

- under like idk 10 or 11 idrc abt age just dont go announcing it on the internet and stay safe <3 (i dont have a max either,,, actually no yeah i do its abt mid 30s if ur over mid 30s dnf)

- ur mean to my mutuals i will literally eat u

—

things to know:

- i use twt etiquette/language? it gets quite annoying to myself sometimes so if tht might annoy u bc this is definitely not twt then... sorry

- i rly try to be considerate of everyone and their situations so ill try to use tws and even tone indicators, but if u need me to do it more frequently or tag anythig specific, pls lmk

- asks, submissions and dms are always open! i most likely wont dm first even if i think ur a rly cool mutual tho but hey if u wanna like.. dm first.. yk...

—

fun facts bc i had one in my last about me page

- I THINK ANIMALS R JUST THE COOLEST my favorite r numbats and second r dogs!!! i have a dog she is so cool

- poetry is very cool i am a genuine n unironic enjoyer of rupi kaur but if you also think poetry is very cool you should let me know your favorite author!

- i hate shopping?? online and in person.. it’s tiring and hurts my head and i’m also indecisive so USUALLY it’s not a fun time (sometimes there are exceptions though)

—

that’s it!!

thank you for reading through this whole thing and once again enjoy your stay on my blog

with love, thea ♡

[cake-writes]

Compromise (Part Eight)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Story Warnings: Mom!Reader, Dad!Bucky, Ex-Relationship, Co-Parenting Drama, Slow Burn, Angst, Fluff, Separation Anxiety

Summary: You didn’t want to trust him again, because every time you did, Bucky broke your heart just a little more. Deep down, though, you wanted to get along with him. You wanted to be amicable. You wanted your daughter to know her father. You’d always wanted that. It just required a compromise.

Interlude #2 / Master List / Spotify Playlist

“His phone’s broken.”

A simple explanation to be sure, but it set you off.

You were thankful that Steve had said it over your phone with you miles away from the compound, otherwise you may very well have stormed into the communications room and ripped Bucky a new one over the air. In fact, you still had half a mind to, but you didn’t. He’d been sent to Malaysia, apparently: a mission halfway across the globe. What difference would it make?

The worst part was that you sent Steve a bunch of panicked texts until he finally rang you back. Even his response was delayed, because he was busy, too – busy cleaning up his best friend’s mess, just like the last time. That shouldn’t have come as a surprise, but it did.

Of course it did. You let your guard down.

Why hadn’t Bucky just asked someone to keep you in the loop?

It was a simple ask, really, and something he should have done days ago. Instead, he put you in a bad spot – made you worry about him, made you overthink, made you feel like this past weekend was just a fluke, and maybe it was.

One step forward, two steps back.

Needless to say, when Bucky finally showed up on your doorstep, you nearly slammed the door in his face. The only thing that stopped you was the apologetic look in his eyes, although the small bouquet of daisies in his hand might have helped a little, too.

“You’re an asshole,” was the first thing out of your mouth.

He winced. You didn’t apologize.

“We can’t make this work if you don’t communicate with me, Bucky.”

“I know,” he admitted, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “I’m sorry.”

How many times had you heard that before?

“I’m not going to keep chasing after you for answers like this,” you told him, just a hint of bitterness seeping into your voice. “I shouldn’t have to. And I shouldn’t have to ask your friends, either.”

Bucky’s adam’s apple bobbed at your harsh tone, but no words came. You thought he looked conflicted, almost, like he wanted to say something, maybe defend himself like he was so wont to do, but he held it back. Instead, he took the tongue lashing and didn’t even try to argue – a stark contrast to how he used to be.

What’s more was that he agreed with you, and that was the biggest surprise of all.

“You’re right. I should have asked someone to let you know. I’m sorry.”

That was when you noticed just how much he’d changed over the last two years. Then again, so had you.

You stared at him for a moment, hard and resolute, before you finally stepped aside to let him in. Bucky met your eyes with an unspoken question – are you sure? – but the only thing you responded with was an aggravated sigh as you retreated back into the house.

You left the front door wide open for him, left the ball in his court.

The soft click of the door closing, along with the heavy footfalls of his boots against tile let you know that he’d accepted your invitation.

Reaching into one of the kitchen cabinets, you retrieved a small vase for the flowers, doing your best to ignore the slightest flutter of appreciation in your chest. He’d remembered that you liked daisies, even if he had only ever bought them for you as an apology. That, at least, hadn’t changed.

No, that wasn’t true. He got you some on your first anniversary, too. Your only anniversary.

“How was Malaysia?” you asked, then, short and to the point. An exercise in civility. A difficult exercise. 

When you held your hand out for the bouquet, he immediately gave it to you and you pulled a pair of shears from your knife block to trim the stems.

Another routine.

“Hot,” Bucky replied, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I just got in about a half hour ago.”

Tense. Awkward. Uncomfortable. That was how you felt, but a fraction of the tension faded away at his admission, indirect as it was. He’d come straight here after he got back – hadn’t even changed out of his tac gear, or at least not completely. Handgun holstered at his hip, belt and cargo pants still loaded with knives and ammo, the only thing missing was a thick layer of kevlar.

Hot, he’d said, and you tended to agree. You hadn’t seen him in his gear in a long time, and with the fire of your rage slowly fading to an insignificant smoulder, another fire started to burn.

You blamed it on the fact that you were alone with him – actually alone with him – for the first time in years. You’d already taken Winnie to preschool this morning, which worked out well enough because you didn’t really like the idea of her being around so many weapons, even though Bucky had always taken the utmost care to ensure that she never got into them. 

As for you, well, you’d taken the day off to catch up on errands and housework. How he knew he’d find you at home, you weren’t sure, but for some reason it didn’t bother you as much as it probably should have.

“How’s the car running?” he asked, his own attempt at making terrible conversation. 

“Better than my old one. Thank you.”

Cut and dry, but civil and full of projection.

Stems trimmed, you placed the small bouquet into the vase and filled it with water. Only after you finally met his eyes again did you notice how nervous he seemed to be. With a single look, you could just tell, even if he didn’t say a thing. 

James Buchanan Barnes, so nervous and walking on eggshells because of you. 

More tension faded away at that realization, however, and you felt the corners of your lips turn up in the slightest hint of a smile – one meant not to mock, but to reassure. When you spoke again, your tone was lighter than before and so was your heart. “Thanks for these, too, Bucky. They’re lovely.”

Bucky visibly relaxed upon seeing your smile, his shoulders slumping just a little.

Had he always been this easy to read?

“Can I— Can I take you to lunch?” he stammered, then, and it completely blindsided you. You got the feeling that it might have blindsided him, too; the question seemed a little rushed, like he’d blurted it out before his mind caught up and he quickly scrambled to add, “I know you're busy, and I’m probably the last person you want to eat with, it’s just— I found this little place ‘round the corner a few months back, and—”

Brows raising in amusement, you made a joke to help calm his nerves. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

Bucky swallowed hard and quickly looked away, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

Oh.

Oh.

“No, not unless…” An anxious pause, then, and your heart began to race – at least until Bucky chose not to finish that train of thought. Instead, he cleared his throat and backtracked to a single, “No.”

You felt conflicted, because you knew exactly where that sentence was heading and you half-wished he’d seen it through. The other half of you understood what a bad idea that would have been.

Clearly, so did he.

A quick check of the clock on your wall indicated that it was just after eleven. You’d be free until Winnie’s preschool ended at two-thirty, and, if you were honest, you really had missed him over the last week. You’d started to miss his company, as stupid as it sounded when you’d done just fine without him over the last two years.

“I can do lunch,” you offered, “but I’ll have to leave around two.”

Soft blue eyes widened at first, but then they crinkled up at the corners in the way you’d always loved. Even now, seeing that gorgeous smile made you weak.

The sun shone brightly upon the two of you as you walked side-by-side, leisurely, through the park near your house. Funny that you only used to meet Bucky here for his visits with Winnie, but now it was just you and him.

He’d stripped off the rest of his tac gear before you left, lest he kickstart the mommy group rumour mill. Bucky wasn’t exactly a secret of yours, per se, but being loaded up with weapons was a good way to draw attention. Neither of you wanted that, least of all him because of who he was – who he’d been – and so at your offer, Bucky locked his weapons inside of your bedroom closet.

“It’s safer than anywhere else in the house, right?” you pointed out matter-of-factly. “A locked closet with no windows.”

“Looks like you haven’t completely forgotten my training, then.” 

His teasing tone set your cheeks aflame.

The sound of children’s laughter cut through the air, and you found yourself sneaking glances over at him as the two of you made your way past the playground. The faraway look in his eyes as he watched the children playing gave you pause; at first, you assumed it was because he remembered bringing Winnie here, too.

It wasn’t, you soon learned when he stated abruptly, “I’ve started going to therapy.”

“You—” It took a moment to find your footing with such a jarring reveal of sensitive information. “You have?”

“Yeah.”

Well, that explained a lot. You’d pushed him to go to therapy during the latter half of your relationship, but he refused more than once – so much that you eventually stopped asking. That was around the same time you gave up on him.

After taking a moment to choose your words, you placed a gentle hand on his arm. “I’m... I’m happy for you, Bucky. That must have been a hard first step to take.”

That was what finally seemed to pull him from that faraway place. Your touch. He looked down at your hand, first, and then at you – features soft, almost wistful as he answered, “Yeah. It was.”

And then, silence reigned supreme once again.

You wanted to know more, of course you did, but you didn’t want to pry. Maybe he’d tell you more someday. You hoped he’d tell you someday, but why? It had nothing to do with you. How selfish, wanting to know his innermost secrets. Of course he’d never tell you. It wasn’t any of your business. Not anymore.

The warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips almost burned, you’d missed him so much, and you pulled your hand back to your body, using it as a shield to peer up at the sunny sky. It was a feeble attempt to distract yourself from your thoughts. Even the faint laughter on the wind couldn’t stop you from wishing for things you’d never have. Wishing for him.

Playdates in the park with you, Bucky, and your little girl, just like the smattering of parents always close by the swing set. Commonplace on a beautiful day like today. Normal. Right.

Celebratory dinners when Winnie did well in school, and birthday dinners, too: March for him, and May for her.

Weekends and holidays spent together, an amalgamation of his family’s old traditions and yours.

You and Bucky had planned to make your own traditions, once. Sunday morning pancakes were just the start – sparked by soft, sleepy whispers shared between sweethearts, suggestions of what your little family might do in the future. Ham for Thanksgiving, perhaps, and a Stark-inspired celebration when Winnie graduated from college. The two of you had even talked about the beautiful wedding she might have one day.

Plans made for years away, but the seeds were planted – seeds that withered away. 

Once-forgotten wishes of a life with him now lay at the forefront of your mind, not so easily forgotten this time. No matter how large the star you wished upon, it would never be able to bring the life back to a relationship so stunted in its growth. Not when the water – the love – had run dry.

Today, Bucky had drawn a clear line in the sand between the two of you.

This wasn’t a date. His love had run dry.

Part Nine

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Love Lockdown

A/N- Just a little one shot about being stuck in lockdown and having to video chat with Bucky.

Im not sure what this is to be fair, the boredom has set in!💕

Being ordered to stay home amid the virus outbreak meant having to work from home for the foreseeable future. Id only been working with the newly formed Avengers team for a few months, id been hired to run psych evaluations on the team.... make sure they were all stable enough to be working with the public. Of course the one person the higher up's were concerned about was Bucky Barnes.

He had been a tough one to crack, we spent many sessions in silence before he started to finally open up. Because of that reason it had been agreed that we would still hold our sessions via facetime, i didnt want him closing himself off again.

"Hey doc, hows quarantine treating you?" Bucky asked on the first video chat.

"Its not been to bad so far, its given me some time to get some things around the house sorted. But its only been a week" i chuckled "hows it going over there?"

"Its a nightmare, Sam is driving me crazy. I dont know how much more i can deal with" Bucky rolled his looking bored.

"Try not to kill each other okay"

"Im not making any promises".

Two weeks into lockdown and i felt like i was loosing my mind stuck indoors alone. Bucky was checking in every couple of days for his sessions and i started looking forward to that. We spent most of the time chatting like old friends, there wasn't anything else to really talk about right now.

"So Sam's still alive?" I asked smiling while topping up my wine glass.

"For now, i'm actively keeping my distance. I dont even know why i have to do this damn lockdown i cant get sick anyway"

"Joys of being a super soldier huh?"

"Yeah, gotta have some perks"

"Your lucky you have the company, im going crazy stuck here on my own. Im gonna need a psych evaluation myself by the time this is over"

"You getting lonely doc?" Bucky smirked through the camera.

"Yes! But i'm getting through it with wine" i smiled raising my glass to him before taking a mouthful.

"You'll be an alcoholic by the time this is over"

"Im being sensible Buck i promise"

"You can call me anytime you get bored or lonely, its not like i have Avenging stuff to do right now"

"I might take you up on that" i smiled resting my chin in my hand "so your definitely doing okay? 

"Im fine doc, i actually feel pretty good. I haven't been having nightmare and I've been training, for the first time in ages i feel like me"

"Thats great Bucky, really. Im so pleased your doing good, soon you wont need these meetings"

"But what if i want them...... talking to you helps"

"Well i'll always be there for you"

""Thanks doc....."

"Yo Buck! We're late for the conference call with Ross..... get your ass moving!" I heard Sam Wilson calling in the background, Bucky closed his eyes shaking his head.

"Well id better go"

"Yeah sure, im gonna go shower and watch a movie or something.... thats what my life has become"

"Okay well have fun, i'll speak to you soon"

"Bye Buck" i clicked end call and pushed my chair back from the desk.

I grabbed my wine and phone and opened up Spotify, i selected my 'getupandgo' playlist, a mix of songs that just made you wanna dance! I went upstairs and quickly showered, singing loudly and probably very offkey!

It wasnt long before i was dried off and dressed in panties and a tank top, my hair still wrapped in the towel. I noticed my wine glass was empty so headed downstairs for a refil. As i went down Camila Cabello's 'Liar' started to play and i was instantly dancing around and singing.

Bucky's POV

I walked back into my room after another pointless conference call with Ross and instantly heard some music playing.

"I don't care, if you're here

Or if you're not alone

I don't care, it's been too long

It's kinda like we didn't happen

The way that your lips move

The way you whisper slow

I don't care, it's good as gone (uh)

I said I won't lose control, I don't want it (ooh)

I said I won't get too close, but I can't stop it"

I didnt leave music on.... where the hell was it coming from....

"Oh no, there you go, making me a liar

Got me begging you for more

Oh no, there I go, startin' up a fire

Oh no, no (oh no)

Oh no, there you go, you're making me a liar

I kinda like it though

Oh no, there I go, startin' up a fire

Oh no, no (ooh)"

Shit! I gasped when i followed the music to my desk and there on the screen i could see the Doc dancing and singing in her living room! She was in a pair of panties and a tank top, her hair wrapped in a towel still while she swayed her hips and drank from her wine glass..... i shouldn't be watching this! But damn she looked cute! I couldnt help but smile.

"You're watching, I feel it

I know I shouldn't stare

I picture your hands on me

But what if, you kiss me?

And what if, I like it?

And no one sees it

I said I won't lose control, I don't want it

I said I won't get too close, but I can't stop it"

Seeing this side to the Doc made me like her more than i already did! But i shouldn't be watching this, it felt to wrong. I should call her.....

Readers POV

"Oh no, there you go, you're making me a liar, Got me begging you for more

Oh no, there I go, startin' up a fire

Oh no, no

Oh no, there you go, you're making me a liar, I kinda like it though

Oh no, there I go, startin' up a fire....Oh no, no" i was singing loudly while dancing around my living room.

My phone started ringing causing the song to stop. When i looked at the caller ID and saw it was Bucky i instantly smiled.

"Hey Bucky, you okay?" I asked smiling like an idiot.

"Hey Doc" he said sounding a little amused, i was confused by the sudden echo in the room.

"Why can i hear you twice...."

"Look up"

What?? What was he on about.... oh!

My eyes fell to the screen where i could see a grinning Bucky.

"Oh no.... how much of that did you see?"

"Enough.... you look like your having fun" he chuckled.

"Shit! I dont even have pants on! This is so unprofessional of me im sorry...."

"Calm down doll, im not complaining. I was actually enjoying the show"

"Haha Buck, very funny" i shook my head at him.

"Im serious, im just thinking about how much i wanna come join your party now"

"Yeah? Well your more than welcome" i laughed knowing he wouldn't come round.

"Dont tempt me....."

"As if you'd come here" i rolled my eyes "well im gonna go get some more wine and maybe put on some pants! I'll make sure to hang up this time" i laughed and said goodbye once again making sure it disconnected. If i hadn't been drinking i'm sure id be more embarrassed about this whole thing but I just shrugged it off and headed to the kitchen for a refill.

20 minutes later and i was in the middle of making some chilli nachos when there was a knock at my door. For a second i panicked thinking it was Bucky but then remembered he didn't know where i lived. It was probably Mrs Harper from down the hall asking to borrow a cup of flour for some extravagant cake she was making!

But as i swung the door open there stood Bucky Barnes still wearing the hoodie and cap from the video call we had.... oh my god he looked good dressed so casual, he looked so relaxed it made me smile.

"Bucky.... what are you doing here?"

"You invited me" he shrugged smirking at me.

"How'd you even know where i live huh?"

"I may have hacked into your employee file"

"Stalker much" i teased making him laugh "come on in" I opened the door wider to let him in and took the chance to take a calming breath.

"Never did put on those pants i see" he smirked looking me up and down, it was then i realised i was still in my panties!!

"God damn it!" I said loudly feeling my heart start to race "let me just..." i pointed down the hall towards my room.

"Dont put them on on my account Doc, i dont mind at all" Bucky said walking over and standing closer to me "Look im just gonna say it how it is and hope it doesn't ruin our relationship..... i like you Doc, alot. Like im crazy about you, cant stop thinking about you....."

"What?.... Bucky thats not funny...."

"Dead serious. I mean its hard to think very clearly with you standing there looking like that but..... what are the chances you feel the same?"

"I think the chances are in your favour...." i smiled feeling my cheeks burn. Bucky suddenly closed the distance and kissed me, pulling my body tight against his..... his flesh hand slipping down to my ass.

"Mmmm i'm glad you forgot those pants" he smiled before picking me up and leading the way to the bedroom.

@barnesandrogersworld

@dumblani

@xxloki81xx

@jesseswartzwelder

[stars-in-my-universe]

Bad Idea: Part 6

Summary: When pop star Trixie can’t get her act together, her team makes a deal with the NHL…one that she can’t turn down. When NHL player Tyler Seguin can’t seem to get himself under control his team decides to thrust a certain Pop star into his life. Can the two play nice?

Warnings: Cussing.

Note: You guys have been so patient and I appreciate you all so much. Feel free to send me your thoughts and any asks, I love answering questions. Hell, even send me prompts! This isn’t much but this chapter did need to happen, so I hope you guys enjoy it! 

Tyler had let two full days pass, he was now completely sober, no hangover to distract him from his adult problems and guilt that sat in the lower part of his stomach making him toss and turn for two full nights. Today though, he had woken up early, taken the dogs on a run, and made himself some eggs before getting ready to head over to Trixie’s which wasn’t as far as he thought it was going to be. 

It was closer to downtown Dallas probably the same distance his place was from the arena. Grabbing his car keys and locking up, he made his way to his car and typed in the address on his phone. He didn’t know what he was going to do or say but he assumed apologizing would be his best bet. Tyler jumped into his jeep and headed down the road to the freeway, the soft pop music playing in the background was immediately cut off as his blue tooth rang through his car’s speakers. 

Glancing at the screen, the name ALI popped up. Sighing he knew it was now or never; without missing a beat he answered the phone.

“Hi, Ali.” He grimaced as she practically screamed his name. She was lucky she was good in bed because after all the bull shit she’s pulled, he was ready to cut her off a long time ago. 

“Tyler, come on. I just want to see you and talk.” He rolled his eyes.

“We both know, when we see each other we never talk.” He listened as she rambled on about how they could fix this and where they could go from here. He loved the girl once, but she was a lot and it was always on her terms. She broke up with him and yet here she was still trying to suck him back into the toxic cycle. 

“Ali, I can’t do this anymore. You ended it with me, remember that.” He heard her let out a squeak.

“It’s cause of that bitch right?” Tyler groaned, of course of all things she remembered she’d remember Trixie. He also could feel himself get angry at Ali calling her a bitch, when he got so protective of her, hell if he knew. 

“No, it’s because my games suffering Ali.” His phone beeped signaling he was arriving soon to the destination.

“Look, I gotta go. I’m sorry but this is done.” He didn’t give her a chance to explain herself as he hit the end button on the steering wheel. Turning into a round about driveway he parked the car and got out. It wasn’t a huge house, but it was bigger than most. Walking up the porch stairs he knocked and then rang the doorbell twice. He waited to hear any noise from beyond the door, rubbing the back of his neck; a habit he had when he was nervous. He shifted from one foot to another and looked up when the door swung open.

“Fucking hell, Cami. You were supposed to be here-” Tyler had to keep himself from letting out an embarrassing moan. Tyler had hooked up with his fair share of girls, hell he even dated a playboy bunny and had a threesome in Mexico, but he had never gotten hard so fast as he stood in the doorway staring at Trixie, who was in fact staring wide eyed back at him. 

He was lucky he had sunglasses on because the way his eyes shamelessly raked her body would make him turn fifty shades of red. He always knew she was attractive, you had to be in her world, but this was not what he was expecting. Trixie stood with her hair in a messy bun, her face clear of any make up, standing in the doorway wearing nothing but a black bra with cute little purple stars and moon with bikini underwear to match. All the bra did was give her more cleavage then he was used to seeing and the little string that hugged her hip did nothing to hide her curves. Tyler had never wanted to fuck someone so bad then he did in that moment. 

Clearing her throat, Trixie let our a ‘Tyler?’ making him snap out of it. He looked back up at her face and remembered why he was here, all the anger and confusion on her face said it all. 

“Do you answer your door like this all the time?” She rolled her eyes and put a hand on her hip.

“What do you want, Seguin?” He watched as she stood there, practically no clothes on, all the confidence in the world and he didn’t think she could become any more attractive. 

“I wondered if I could come in and maybe talk...and uh, apologize?” He watched as she rolled her eyes yet again and motioned for him to follow her in. He watched as she took a step back and let him in, closing the door behind him. She pointed toward the hallway that he assumed lead to another room.

“Go ahead and go in the kitchen, I have beers in the fridge. Help yourself to anything, let me just put a shirt on.” He nodded and walked into the kitchen, not really wanting to go through her stuff, he made himself comfortable on a bar stool and waited for her. 

Luckily he didn’t have to wait long, Trixie walked behind the counter in an oversized t-shirt that covered the majority of her body minus her legs. Atleast now he wasn’t popping a boner like the fucking teenager he was, apparently. Trixie stood behind the counter, arms crossed and eyebrow raised. Tyler knew it was show time.

“Look, I’m sorry. I was out of line, I shouldn’t have said what I said. I was angry and frustrated which is also no excuse. But if you haven’t noticed yet, I’m not the brightest bulb in the box? Shed? See I don’t even know the right saying.” Trixie shook her head.

“Tyler-”

“I’m sorry I made you look like an idiot with those pictures, you told me it was your reputation too and I would ruin it.” Trixie was watching him, intently now. She could see the sincerity in his eyes, the desperation in his voice.

“Everyone says you’re good for me, everyone says we could help each other out, whether or not we see it now, I think on some level they are right, Trixie.”

“Okay but Tyler, you hate me. You want nothing to do with me half the time-”

“I know, I know and that’ll change. We’ll work on this contract for real this time, I won't...I wont be as closed off.” Trixie was now leaning her hip against the counter, she wasn’t as defensive as she first was.

“You helped Crosby, you dated Anderson. I’m not saying we need to fall in love-” Trixie laughed.

“I would prefer if we didn’t” Tyler sent her a smirk.

“But some hot angry sex is still on the table?” Trixie let out a genuine loud laugh making Tyler smile back at her. She was still hurt by the things he said, she was still angry but he did come here to apologize and he was doing a good job. Whether or not they wanted to, they had a contract and she believed this could work. 

“You gotta let me in, Tyler. We don’t have to be best friends, we don’t even have to be friends, but I can guarantee it would be a lot easier if we were.” It was Tyler’s turn to sigh, he hated not knowing who he could trust but looking at Trixie, all doe eyed and innocent he knew she knew about his world, the risks, the drama it all came with. 

“Then let’s work on it, we’ll keep the contract and work on becoming friends.” Trixie nodded.

“We are in this contract for about a year.” Tyler’s eyes went wide.

“A year?” She nodded.

“Did you not read the papers?” He shrugged.

“I figured it couldn’t be too bad, but alas I was wrong.” Trixie giggled and stared back at him. 

“And uh..Ali?” Tyler shifted in his seat.

“I’ll tell you the whole story one day but I ended it with her for good on the way over here, I need to focus on hockey if I ever want to get us a stanley cup.” Trixie didn’t say anything she just continued to stare at him.

“It’s not going to be easy, Trixie. I was on and off with this girl for awhile.”

“Then I’ll help you, get rid of her. Keep you distracted. I really am sorry for what I said in response to you attacking me. It wasn’t fair, I’m also sorry for breaking your sunglasses I’ll buy you a new pair. I was just...angry Tyler, I was hurt. I thought we were making progress. If you really do give me a chance, I’m not as bad as you think I am and we’ll be able to get through this a lot smoother.” Tyler nodded but didn’t say anything, this was all a little much for him but then he felt a hand placed over his making him look up from the counter top. Trixie was looking back at him with a small smile that somehow calmed his nerves. When she wasn’t being Hollywood Princess, she was actually really-

“I smell some sexual tension in here!” Tyler and Trixie both jumped back from each other. Trixie grabbed the nearest thing which happened to be a spatula and hauled it at her best friend. Tyler remember her from the club, the one who warned Tyler not to try to tame Trixie, she was going to do what she wanted either way. 

“I guess I should be going, don’t want to crash...whatever this is.” Getting up from the stool he waved over at Cami who in return waved him off and made her way into the living room. Trixie shook her head and lead him back to the front door opening it for him. He shoved his hands in his front pockets and could feel his cheeks warm up as Trixie sent him a small smile.

“I’ll email my team and tell them it's okay.” He nodded and went to make his way back to his jeep.

“Oh and Tyler, you busy on Friday?” He took a second to think.

“ I have practice in the morning and that’s it.” She nodded.

“If I send you an address would you go? I’m doing this thing for spotify and you being there would be good publicity.” Tyler pretended to act shocked.

“Do I get to hear the princess of pop sing...live?” She glared at him.

“I’ll text you, you asshole.”  She could hear him laughing as she closed the door.

“Bye Trixie.”

Trixie leaned against the back of the door, surprised at how well and how smooth that went. He was trying and that’s all that mattered. They could get through this contract, she would have her money and both their reputations would be saved.

“I know that look.” Trixie glanced up at her best friend.

“What look?”

“That look, don’t you dare-”

“Cami, I’m not going to fall for him.” She gave Trixie a look making the popstar glare back at her.

“He’s just a contract, another number.” Cami eyed her and shrugged.

“I would at least try to sleep with him before the contracts up.” Trixie didn’t say anything as she sat back down on the couch and turned the TV on. He was just another number, didn’t mean they couldn’t be friends? Her phone dinged from the table in front of her making her pick it up right away. She smiled to herself as she saw a message from Tyler. It was a picture of his radio and on it had a radio, with the artists name which happened to be her latest single. She giggled at the caption: ‘must be a sign.’

“Just another number huh, Trix?” Without thinking she threw a pillow at her best friend.

“Fuck off, Cami.”

[polyamorous-mysme]

What's your opinion on Jimin and V? They both infuriate me because of the way they handled things in the routes. I think Jimin gets a little bit better at the end of his route, but V doesn't seem too. He doesn't tell Saeyoung about his brother, just shows up one day Saeran in tow and is just like 'I'm back'. Even if Saeran didn't want to go back yet, he could at least told Saeyoung what was going on.

tbh most of my opinions on every mm character is that you just have to completely disregard how Normal ppl would act given that the plots of mm are so wild and unbelievable. on the other had though i get why people have qualms w certain characters for how they handle the plot. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ eso si que es

But. as far as jumins route goes i think they just fucking did him dirty w it. with the second bad end/chats leading to it especially. I know it sounds weird to say given that it's his route but those few days are so fucking OOC for jumin. i mean I'll find my own ways to rationalize it bc it Can be rationalized if you care to, but not everyone will. because its fucking weird. not even the end itself but jumin leading up to it.

that being said i LIKE jumin and i like his route save for that. jumins hidden or has Had to hide his emotions and opinions his whole life. his father frequently brings new women in and out of his life, one of the only two people hes ever been able to trust has just committed suicide and he feels like he doesnt even Know either of them anymore, and then MC comes along getting him to open up making him Trust them again and hes worried something similar is going to happen. yeah yeah cat ran away whatever but to ignore what its ACTUALLY about is impossible. rika was one one of the only people and the only Woman he really trusted wholeheartedly as an equal and shes dead the cat she gave him is missing and being overprotective of MC is his one way of gaining control again. if I couldn't rationalize that though it absolutely would have skeeved me out from the get-go, though. so im not surprised Or affronted by the fact that ppl find it irredeemable ig.

now V. V is an even weirder story. he clings to rika from the moment they first met because dont ask me why. i dont know why. is she supposed to remind him of his mother? weird. is he genuinely just that nice of a person? probably. and rika is fucked. rika is traumatized and has been since young childhood. she suffers from what someone who doesnt experience delusions thinks delusions are or how they feel. whatever. and V loves her So Much that if she wont GET help he wont force her so hes going to do whatever He can to help her. until it goes really fucking wrong.

and let's all just be honest and say everything about seven and saeran and especially their backstory doesnt make sense. it ABSOLUTELY hinges on suspension of disbelief. but there are some aspects that do make sense. the stronger older brother in an abusive household is trying to keep himself And his sickly younger brother safe and sane. stumbles across v and rika and we already know mm doesnt Quite take place in our world as we know it and i know fuck all about typical korean life and families so I couldnt tell you why they didnt report their home life to the authorities from the get go. also this whole thing doesnt fucking make sense bc seven and saeran look like MAYBE 10 at this point and V is only 5 years older than them max but him and rika have obviously been together for a while and are Adults here. doesnt track. timeline dont make sense. angway.

but the way I see it is rika had Already started to plot mint eye yadda yadda here and knew that if the boys were separated she could control seven publicly as the stronger twin in a way that makes it seem like they're helping and protecting them both, they just have to be separated. seven can roll w the loneliness and grief of having to leave his brother behind as long as it means hes safe. and w saeran, she can use that same grief and loneliness to manipulate him a different way. behind the scenes. create her perfect believer who will do Anything she says because she saved him, why shouldnt she save everyone else? and j think by the time V realized just how bad rikas mental state was it was too late to Fix it. but he loved her he loved the RFA and the RFA loved rika. he didnt want to taint or tarnish her image w the reality of who she is what shes been doing etc.

after that it's a series of unfortunate events and fucking stupid decisions v thinks hes making for the good and sanity of everyone else. hes given himself a "I'm not a hero i just Have to bear all this by myself forever and fix it alone with no help and save Everyone in the end" complex that sure is with great intentions but leads down a rabbit hole of hurt and fuckery that he cant fix. ever. and I think he was worried about telling seven about saeran because if he had he KNOWS seven would have gone after him alone. and he would have been hurt or killed or worse. he would have been. and V was still trying to save whoever he could. save rika and Hope he could save saeran? save saeran and Hope he could save rika? who knows. I dont. I think V had the BEST intentions. i do. i think he was just a bit of a Rudely untrusting dumbass carrying them out.

but that's what mm is. MC is the character that is meant to push the characters into healing from their fatal flaw. yoosung is slipping from success because up to that point hes hinged his entire future on his older cousin. zen. i dont remember. has to find a happy balance between shooting for the stars but not hiding himself or who he is while doing it? something gay like that. jaehee pushes herself too hard to be successful. to not be a burden. to be financially and socially stable and safe above her own happiness. jumin is cold and untrusting and hides himself because the last time he wasnt/didnt, he got Hurt. seven is the same gay shit as jumin and zen with the added bonus of needing to learn that mc can make their own decisions wrt danger. v needs to stop carrying the world on his shoulders. saeran . . . needs to heal. learn that his life is not intrinsically tied to the lives of others and he can still love people but be his Own person, whole and healed. whether or not you the individual player believe that by the end of the route theyve gotten their first real step in the right direction is up to you.

anyway stream room 206 ep by elah hale on spotify.

[sunsets-coffee]

Wednesday Adulting Ep.1: “I’m not like other girls” culture 

Girls, why do we obsess over being different when we are humanely unique without even trying? 

We’ve been there before. Don’t mess with me ‘cause I’m not like other girls!!! I think this notion comes from [and sometimes we don’t even notice] the fear of being rejected and giving that “oh wow she’s cool” impression. 

SKL, there was a time i forced myself to like my crush’s spotify playlist and sis, i don’t even know 80% of the songs??? I mean, i told him i’m open to listening to it naman but then i feel ashamed to tell him “hey i kinda dont dig your playlist”  just so i wont hurt his feelings. Lol as if mine doesn’t count? 

Basically, for as long as you enjoy something eccentric - music, movie, books, hobbies, - then that’s OKAY. You don’t have to feel bad for not being ~n0t liKE OtheR gURLz~ for something you genuinely enjoy. I enjoy some mainstream music lmao i suddenly remember showing off my sAD depressing DEEP music on twitter and even during my daily commute! 

Let’s just be present and stop this culture.