#why is this his last post i cant believe i was gone for several years and hes dead

[manonblaqkbeak]

Family Time

good morning/afternoon/evening/night. hope you’re all doing well and staying safe!!!! i have a rowaelin fic that i wanted to post before rowaelin month started since im focusing on those prompts atm

i cant wait to see what everyone has in store for rowaelin month, im very much looking forward to it!

enjoy! :)

1835 words

The day that Aelin had been looking forward to was finally here.

She and Rowan were going to spend a week in their spot in the forest. A week was longer than usual, but it was much needed. Not only had she and Rowan been working extremely hard to the point where they weren't going to bed until the middle of the night, his family was arriving to Orynth to visit for a few weeks in a week and a half.

And not just a few members of his family, almost the entire Whitethorn family was coming, with the exception of a few—namely Sellene, who would be gifting them with personal letters and presents, and those that were too old or just didn't feel like making such a long journey.

Aelin was looking forward to it, to meeting those she hadn't, to hearing others perspectives on Rowan's childhood. Her mate, however...not so much. Rowan was looking forward to catching up with the cousins that he liked, but not so much for the meddlesome ones. He warned her that whatever secrets that people were hiding wouldn't be secrets anymore, that the nosy ones liked to make a game to see who could learn the most secrets.

Aelin admitted that could be a problem, but in his letter, Enda claimed that everyone would be on their best behaviour.

Rowan wasn't entirely convinced. And not just because of that, he was worried that the conversation of when Aelin and Rowan were going to have children was going to be brought up as Rowan had written that they were forbidden from doing so.

Months ago, only several weeks after the war, after a meeting with the Lords and Ladies of Terrasen, Aelin and Rowan came to the decision to wait for a while to have children after Lord Gunnar had brought up the topic of heirs. Aelin could still remember the silence, at her speechlessness of how suddenly it was mentioned. How Rowan had turned to Lord Gunnar and demanded not just to him, but to everyone around them, that it was a private matter between the Queen and himself, and that it was not up for public discussion.

It wasn't a very long conversation—they both wanted to have a family, but Aelin wasn't ready. She was having nightmares from her time with Maeve and Cairn, and throwing pregnancy in the mix just screamed disastrous.

Rowan took her hands in his large warm ones and promised that he would wait for as long as she wanted. Whether it was one year, five years, or one hundred, he would wait until she was ready and willing.

Aelin had never loved him more.

Since then, Rowan was taking a contraceptive tonic. It hadn't taken very long for it to spread around the castle, but neither Aelin or Rowan would let others opinions change their minds.

And it wasn't like they were completely without family. They had their friends and Fleetfoot, with the canine joining them on their week long getaway.

Aelin and Rowan helped the servants set up the Royal tent and the square wooden table where they would be eating and playing chess and card games. There were a few books that Aelin was very much looking forward to reading, too.

Aelin was excited for this week away, to forgo her corsets, dresses, pants and breast-bands. She was determined to stay in Rowan's shirts and her slippers the entire time.

So the moment that everything was set up, the trays of sweet and savoury foods on the table, and the servants and guards were gone, Aelin stripped down to nothing, swaying her hips the way that Rowan liked when she spotted him drinking her in and slipped on one of his shirts and put on her well loved slippers.

Grabbing the picnic blanket from one of the chests, Aelin turned to see Fleetfoot sniffing hungrily at the trays of food, moving closer with each second that passed. Just as she was about to inhale the food, Rowan took the pup out of her misery and feed her a handful of sliced fermented sausage.

Aelin smiled at the sight. Rowan might grumble about the mess Fleetfoot made and how she kept slobbering on his pillow but Aelin knew he loved her—even when she ate his socks.

Aelin set up the blanket and pillows against a thick oak tree, ready for her week of relaxation.

X X X X X X

Aelin's stomach was near to bursting. She hadn't intended to eat that much food, since there was a leg of lamb and chopped root vegetables roasting in the cauldron above the fire, but everything was just too good to have just the once. She ate and ate until there was nothing but crumbs left.

She didn't regret it, however.

She was close to sleeping as Rowan ran a free hand through her scalp as he used the other to read. Her head was on his lap, the sun was warm, and from the happy yips that were coming from the woods, Fleetfoot was having a fun time running around.

Aelin glanced at her husband, his face relaxed as he read his book. And she had no idea why, but she found herself saying: “What would you look like with a beard?”

Rowan blinked, the only surprise he'd show at the question. “Like an old man,” he answered after a moment.

“You are an old man.”

He flicked her ear, and then went back to running his fingers through her scalp. “I grew a beard, once, when I was young. I looked like my father.”

“So you looked very handsome, then.” Rowan had taken up sketching in the quiet moments. He had drawn his parents and they were a very attractive couple. Rowan inherited his fathers hair, eyes, nose and sharp jawline, but got his mother's lips, cheekbones and eyebrows.

They had died long ago, but Aelin would have liked to have met them. Rowan said that they would have liked her, eventually, as he believed that they wouldn't have known what to do with her at first.

Aelin gave Rowan a big smile as the question formed in her mind. And since Rowan knew her so well, he said, “No.”

“You don't even know what I was going to say!” She protested, but it was a lie.

“I am not growing a beard.”

“Please, for me? Just a little one?”

“No.”

“How about some stubble?”

He sighed, exasperated, knowing that there was no point in arguing. “Fine. I'll grow some stubble and that's it.”

“Mm-hmm. Whatever you say, buzzard.”

He sighed again, but there was a small smile on his lips. He returned to his book, and telling her what it was about when Aelin asked. It made her heart swell that her warrior found time to read, as he admitted to her months ago that he never really had the opportunity when he was sworn to Maeve.

Not wanting to ruin today with thoughts of her, Aelin grabbed her own book by her pillow and read, luxuriating in Rowan's warmth and love and in the company of a good book.

X X X X X X

Aelin was losing, but she made sure that the irritation that was coursing through her didn't show on her face. Playing chess with an experience strategist was an absurd idea, but she was determined not to quit.

Rowan had been wanting for her to make her move. Had been waiting for fifteen minutes. Fleetfoot was by her feet, but she was just waiting for the roast lamb to be done.

Five minutes later, Aelin finally made her move. Her eyes flicked up towards Rowan, but his face was stone. He made his move in a blink of an eye. “Checkmate.”

Fire coated her throat as Aelin screeched in frustration, which just made Rowan laugh. Fleetfoot howled and ran off.

Aelin grumbled under her breath as she put away the chess board (for now, they would definitely be playing again once Aelin had more food in her stomach) while Rowan put their dinner on the plates, smiling all the while. Behind him, his mate vowed that she would beat him one day at chess. His smile widened.

Rowan knew that if he said he could beat her even with a blind-fold on, she would go on about how big his head was.

Fleetfoot came back, getting in the way of his feet as he put his and Aelin's dinner down. He gave Fleetfoot the plate reserved for her, using his powers to cool it down, not missing Aelin's soft smile as he did so.

They ate dinner in companionable silence, with Rowan's thoughts on his cousins. He was sure that he wasn't going to get a single thing done while they were visiting. Or if he did, he knew that some of his cousins would want to intrude.

Thinking about it more, he knew that they were going to intrude. Enda had written in-between the lines that there were some cousins that didn't really believe that Rowan was King-Consort and would only believe it once they saw him in action.

That they would actually believe once they saw him in his crown.

And even then, he was sure that there'd be at least one or two that still wouldn't believe it.

Rowan would let them think whatever they wanted about him, it wouldn't matter to him.

Maybe he should have just invited Enda and his mate—but Aelin was looking forward to meeting his family, so he would just deal with it.

It would only be a couple of weeks, possibly three. At best, four, since it was a long journey. He could last.

Rowan could do it, he would just have to block them out if they became too much. He had done that in the past.

“If you keep furrowing your brows like that, they'll replace your eyes,” Aelin said, slathering a fresh slice of bread with butter and running it through the left over gravy on her plate.

Rowan grunted but tried to relax his forehead. It took him a minute longer than it should have.

Later on, they went for a late night swim. Which was slowly turning into something more, up until Fleetfoot jumped into the water with them, saturating them further.

It was the best first day that Aelin could have asked for, and was very much looking forward to the rest of the week.

X X X X X X

Aelin woke up to one of her favourite sights. Rowan shirtless, sleeping on his stomach, his tattooed arm curled around Fleetfoot who slept between them all night. The hounds golden head half on Rowan's pillow, her paws stretching towards Aelin, her furry face soft in sleep.

Smiling, Aelin shuffled closer, and wrapped her own arms around the pup, her fingers just touching Rowan.

Joyful, Aelin fell back asleep, a smile still on her face.

[percabeth4life]

Sorry to just jump in here and drop this on you, but i saw a blog once call percabeth an abusive relationship???? and i was like ?????? but none of my friends read pjo so i cant ask them for thoughts, how about you?

Oh boy anon so this is a thing.

Percabeth is abusive is a common thing those that hate percabeth or ship something else and want to validate it say, and why I have the “anti-percabeth” tag blocked.

I’ve seen people say Annabeth just giving him a dirty look was abuse, people will reach for anything done between them that isn’t perfect, usually to justify why their ship is better.

Honestly, I’m open to most ships. Percabeth is my main but if you ship things that’s totally fine, even if I don’t like it I won’t say you shouldn’t ship it. I read non-Percabeth ships, but a lot of people feel a strong need to insist a ship is abusive if they don’t like it.

It’s fine to just not like a ship.

First off lets preface all of this with a warning that I’ll be discussing abuse here so if that’s upsetting skip it.

It got long, like very long (word count is nearly 3k), so it’s all under the Read More, there’s a TLDR at the very bottom.

Now then, what is abuse?

There are two definitions that pop up with a quick google search

Use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse. 

Treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.

If you look up the legal definition (law.cornell) used to define abuse there are more options, but I’m leaving out 2, 3, and 4 cause 3 and 4 def have nothing to do with this and definition 2 is in regards to child abuse.

Abuse, generally: physically, sexually, or mentally injuring a person.

Now if we want to go deeper in lets define physical and mental abuse. I’ll be leaving out sexual as that has no bearing on this particular situation.

Physical abuse is defined by healthyplace.com as

Non-accidental use of force that results in bodily injury, pain, or impairment. This includes, but is not limited to, being slapped, burned, cut, bruised or improperly physically restrained.

Now lets expand on this.

Something that is pointed to specifically is the mentioned intent. “Non-accidental”. It must be purposeful harm.

Now, I will also point out that Physical abuse doesn’t necessarily say the intent needs to be abuse, but as my lawyer parents state it simply needs to be “intent to harm” and it gets labeled abuse. The legal definition (given above) agrees, it is simply that it needs to be purposeful harm. But then we need to define this harm, especially the bodily injury, pain, or impairment.

Bodily injury is defined by Merriam Webster as

any damage to a person's physical condition including pain or illness

Now what is damage?

loss or harm resulting from injury to person, property, or reputation

So then harm is defined as... damage, so the definition I prescribe to (and I asked my lawyer parents to confirm, unfortunately I have no link for that).

Causes pain (pain defined as suffering)

Pain is defined by Merriam Webster as

a localized or generalized unpleasant bodily sensation or complex of sensations that causes mild to severe physical discomfort and emotional distress and typically results from bodily disorder (such as injury or disease)

a basic bodily sensation that is induced by a noxious stimulus, is received by naked nerve endings, is associated with actual or potential tissue damage, is characterized by physical discomfort (such as pricking, throbbing, or aching), and typically leads to evasive action

mental or emotional distress or suffering

Finally impairment is

diminishment or loss of function or ability

(all of the above definitions except harm are pulled from Merriam Webster linked with Bodily Injury)

Okay, so now lets consider it, physical abuse needs to cause damage to someone, it must be purposeful damage though the intent to abuse does not necessarily need to be the intent. So if your actions do not intend physical harm then it is not physical abuse.

So then, do Percy and Annabeth have a physically abusive relationship?

Lets start with the classic one that everyone likes to bring up, the Judo Flip.

First off, do Judo Flips hurt? [sourcing (1) (2) (3)]

They CAN hurt if done with that intent, but if your intent is to not harm and you are trained properly, No Judo should not hurt. Anyone properly trained in Judo should know how to prevent harm. (1, 2)

On top of that, the first thing anyone learning Judo is taught is how to fall.

All judoka learn to fall safely, by rolling and breaking their fall with Ukemi. This breakfall absorbs the impact of the throw. (3)

Percy should have the basics of this down seeing how he was already in matches (mentioned in book one prior him being claimed) in his first summer at camp, after four years he’s definitely got the basics down.

Therefore, the Judo flip did not intend to cause harm, nor did it appear to. Despite that it was on stone, and Annabeth had him pinned, Percy didn’t even show discomfort. He laughed.

On top of that, when Annabeth last saw Percy he had the Curse of Achilles. As far as she was aware, he still had it. A requirement of Physical Abuse is the intent to cause harm, every factor here shows that there was no intent to cause harm.

This scene was not physical abuse, it was just bad writing.

I can think of other scenes, only a few, before they were actually in a relationship. In book three Annabeth punched Percy in the stomach when he didn’t catch her hint that he should ask her to dance

She punched me in the gut. ‘Me, Seaweed Brain.’

‘Oh. Oh, right.’ (TTC, chapter 1, page 8 of book on my copy)

There doesn’t seem to have been any harm done as he doesn’t even mention it hurting, not even a pause, just went “oh yeah her”. So it was likely a light punch, the kind friends do that don’t hurt just catch attention. Annabeth has been trained since she was 7, she should know how to throw a punch without actually causing harm.

If anyone wants to bring up other examples, feel free, I’m not combing the books right now for examples but I will reply to them (preferably in asks so this post doesn’t get super long...)

I cannot think of any examples of Percy hitting/punching Annabeth nor any other kind of physical interaction, if someone wishes to bring one of those up feel free.

Does this mean that I think they should be hitting each other despite the fact that it’s clear there is no intent to harm?

No, I don’t really think they should be hitting each other.

But! An important thing there is their own boundaries, not mine. I would not be up for being hit but I do share friendly punches with my friends, which is similar in intent. It’s simply that they’ve been trained to fight and have to a lot to survive so their boundaries for what is “harmful” are different.

But that’s a whole different issue and a different academic essay :)

I don’t believe there is any physical abuse in Percabeth.

Moving on, Emotional abuse (which Psychological and Verbal added as they all connect).

Emotional abuse is defined by helathyplace.com as

Any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth.

It also covers Psychological abuse and verbal abuse. Psychological abuse does not have a definition available on the site I’m using but it does have a description. If you’d like to read the description go (here). I will add a detail of how it works though

Psychological abuse signs and symptoms may start small at first as the abuser "tests the waters" to see what the other person will accept, but before long the psychological abuse builds into something that can be frightening and threatening.

Verbal abuse definition defined by healthyplace.com is

Any language or behavior that seeks to coerce its victim to doubt their perceptions or their abilities and subjugate themselves to the abuser.

So considering that, we note another important factor here, they also have intent involved. “Test the waters” and “seek to coerce” for Psychological and Verbal abuse.

Emotional abuse is different in that it does not specify intent, except every item mentioned is purposeful. If you’re confining someone then you’re doing that on purpose, you cannot easily accidentally do most of that. Those actions carry intent, even if the intent is not abuse.

Now then, is percabeth emotionally abusive?

Once again I’ll start with the big thing people point out, the Judo Flip.

I’ve seen it point out that it could be seen as humiliation.

Annabeth grabbed his wrist and flipped him over her shoulder. He slammed into the stone pavement. Romans cried out. Some surged forward, but Reyna shouted, “Hold! Stand down!��

Annabeth put her knee on Percy’s chest. She pushed her forearm against his throat. She didn’t care what the Romans thought. A white-hot lump of anger expanded in her chest—a tumor of worry and bitterness that she’d been carrying around since last autumn.

“If you ever leave me again,” she said, her eyes stinging, “I swear to all the gods—”

Percy had the nerve to laugh. Suddenly the lump of heated emotions melted inside Annabeth.

“Consider me warned,” Percy said. “I missed you, too.” (MOA, chapter 2, page 19 of my copy)

If you look at the scene itself you’ll see that Annabeth is very emotional right then, she just got her boyfriend back, she’s exhausted from months of worrying, she’s emotionally very strained, and she judo flips him as all her pain just fills her.

A lot of people with anxiety or high stress or similar issues have times when the anxiety doesn’t affect them during the time they’re stressed, but right after the stressors are gone.

It’s clear that’s what happened here, all her feelings that she’d been burying to work just filled her.

And Percy smiles up at her and says he missed her.

It’s clear from her own comment that she didn’t care what the Romans thought (said right after they almost attacked her) that her thoughts were not on how this looked for Percy, but for her. She knew it looked bad for her to attack him.

She wasn’t trying to embarrass or humiliate Percy, she was trying to get all that pain and stress and anger out. I don’t like how it was done, but it did not physically harm him (nor did she expect it to) and it clearly did not humiliate him.

He smiled and said he missed her.

He understood what she was going through, and made it clear he loved her.

I still think it was bad writing, but it’s not humiliation, nor is it emotional abuse.

Another thing I’ve seen pointed out is Annabeth’s nickname for Percy.

Seaweed Brain.

I will start this with a reminder that both of their nicknames for each other were originally meant as insults.

Wise Girl was first used by Clarisse and it clearly upset Annabeth, it is used twice by Clarisse actually.

Once in TLT, when she and Percy first meet, and once in SOM when they’re attacking Charybdis.

Percy in comparison uses Wise Girl twice as well, both in TLT, once when he was mocking her at her coming along on the quest and once when they were saying goodbye. It’s also used once in HOO, in BOO.

Honestly it’s not much a nickname... only used by Percy 3 times in all the (main) books. There are like 3 other cases in all the side stories and MCGA combined.

Annabeth uses seaweed brain a total of 41 times in all the books combined, in PJO it’s used 25 times, 22 by Annabeth, and HOO it’s used outloud 9 times, all by Annabeth. On top of this, while the PJO cases were all outloud, the HOO cases were not, with 2 (making the total 11) used only in Annabeth’s thoughts.

Seaweed brain is used in TLT 6 times, 5 times by Annabeth.

The first time is when Annabeth is joining the quest, then when he says things are going fine so far when they start the quest, then when at the Ride of Love, then when Annabeth calls him her friend, then when they’re saying goodbye.

If you watch the progression of it it’s the same as with Wise Girl, though used more often. It starts as an insult, and then becomes fond and a term for her friend by the end of it.

I don’t particularly want to label every single instance, but a quick overview of all the PJO books is that it’s used by Annabeth in annoyance a total of 4 times, in fondness/exasperation/worry 18 times. Those times of annoyance were all in books 1 and 2, the time of exasperation (1 of the 18) was in book 2.

The vast majority were done out of worry, and the rest when she was being soft.

It’s not meant to diminish his intelligence, nor is intended as an insult beyond book 1 and 1 instance of book 2. It is rarely used because he’s being ignorant either. You can make an argument for the first case in book 3 being done because he wasn’t catching her hint to dance and thus was mocking his inability to catch a hint, but it was mixed with fondness from my read.

Overall the nickname is not intended as an insult anymore, it has become a friendly name for Percy that shows how fond Annabeth is of him. She does not have nicknames for anyone else.

In HOO all the cases were relatively fond, with one that she didn’t say outloud being used when she was cheering Hazel up by telling stories about Percy (ah the benefits of long time friendships, you get to tell all the good stories).

In the end I think that it’s cute that they have a nickname for each other, and though there could be more flattering ones, the intent that Percy understands from it and the intent Annabeth uses it with clearly show that it is meant in fondness and was a gradual change from a name that was meant to poke at him. It’s meaning is is fond and loving and it was only used 3 times prior with any other (negative) intent.

Also friends give each other nicknames, and commonly they are meant to be teasing.

There is one other thing I’ve seen brought up, being Annabeth thinking that she needs to keep Percy on his toes (specifically about Rachel in this case) when they’re in Tartarus.

‘Rachel?’ Percy asked. ‘You mean our Rachel? Oracle of Delphi Rachel?’

‘That’s the one.’ Annabeth suppressed a smile.

Whenever she brought up Rachel’s name, Percy got nervous. At one point, Rachel had been interested in dating Percy. That was ancient history. Rachel and Annabeth were good friends now. But Annabeth didn’t mind making Percy a little uneasy. You had to keep your boyfriend on his toes. (HOH, didn’t bother to check chapter number, page 109 of my copy)

So here we see that Annabeth is “keeping him on his toes” but in context, they’re sending a note to Rachel through the Hermes temple in Tartarus. It was not Annabeth bringing it up to mess with him, it was her smiling at the little moment where he was thrown off about Rachel.

Frankly, in general Annabeth doesn’t do anything like that. She occasionally teases Percy but he always teases back. After the Rachel stuff in book 5 things were chill with all of them. We’ve seen no evidence of Percy being uncomfortable with Rachel being brought up, nor Annabeth thinking that it should be brought up for that purpose.

If anything Annabeth has shown some serious abandonment issues in fearing that Percy would leave her over other girls (she needs some therapy after that mess of a childhood but Khiron apparenlty doesn’t think so).

I see this as a case of bad writing with nothing else supporting it, including the scene it happens in.

Even had it actually been something supported by other instances, in the context she says it in it seems more like teasing over an ex where the break was amicable and everyone is still friends, which isn’t abusive or manipulative.

It’s just that Rick is tasteless.

So is Percabeth emotionally/psychologically/verbally abusive? No.

If someone wishes to bring up other instances shoot me an ask.

So in conclusion,

I do not see how it is abusive. There are elements I do not like, and some parts that in my own relationship I wouldn’t be okay with. But in Percy and Annabeth’s relationship they have clear boundaries, they are both more than capable of stopping the other if they do something that upsets them. They have both shown fondness towards the others actions even if it is something that we don’t approve of in our relationships.

If Percy showed upset at her actions that would be different. But we literally see into his mind and he shows no upset at her words or actions. He is fond, he is understanding, and he responds to each instance of teasing with teasing of his own.

Notably I never see people saying Percy is abusive, only Annabeth.

I get a feel that people ask for flawed characters then crucify them if they’re not flawed in easily likeable ways. Annabeth is not a perfect character, I don’t like everything she does, but she is a realistic character and should not be demonized.

TDLR: Annabeth has never purposefully harmed Percy, and Percy has never purposefully harmed her. Neither have verbally/emotionally/psychological taken actions with the intent of harming the other when in their relationship or since becoming friends. There have been instances of upsetting the other but they talked and it clearly was not meant to hurt the other but because they themselves were hurting

Percabeth is not abusive

[skgway]

1832 Nov., Wed. 7

6 55/..

11

Fine frosty morning Fahrenheit 48º at 7 a.m. – Settling what remained for me to pay Miss W– [Walker], expenses of our journey to and expenses at York – It seems the balance against me is only 5/8 pounds/shillings – Breakfast at 8 20/60 with my father – Told him a good deal of what had passed with Holt last night – 

Off to Lidgate at 8 55/.. – There in 1/2 hour – Miss W– [Walker] detained by Hinscliffe and 1 thing or other for about 1/2 hour – Then sat talking till Mrs. William Priestley called for 1/4 hour – Then about 1 came my father and Marian and on their saying Wilson and his man were in the library passage. I set off home to see what they were about and got home at 1 1/2 –

Miss W[alker] nervous in tears perpetually. I told her my plan of introducing her in York where she might be very comfortable and mentioned Miss Crompton to whom I would more particularly recommend her. She seemed much affected at this. We then got on the subject of my going abroad and not corresponding. Reasoned her into believing me right. 

Then spoke of Mr. Ainsley. She was very nervo[u]s. At last from little to more it came out that if she married him, it would be from duty. I pressed for explanation, and discovered that she felt bound to him by some indiscretion. He had taught her to kiss, but they had never gone so far as she and I had done. He had express pathetic sorrow, but was annoyed at the business with Mr. Fraser, and she did not know whether she should have been happy with Mr. F[raser]. 

On Mr. A[insworth]’s account, my indignation rose against the parson. I reasoned her out of all feeling of duty or obligation towards a man who had taken such base advantage. She said there was now no other obstacle between us, and she should be happier with me. Cliff hill would now separate us. 

I asked if she was sure of this. Yes quite. Well then. I consider half an hour and decide. In half the time, she asked if I would take her and gave me her word, and yes, and hoped I should find her faithful and constant to me. Thus, in a moment I thought not of was I accepted and the matter settled.

I kissed her, and this had hardly passed before Mrs. P[riestley] came. Miss W[alker] just went upstairs and gave me the purse and yes in it before she went down to my fathe[r] and sister who could little dream what had happened. I promised to breakfast with Miss W– [Walker] tomorrow but on my return home determined to sleep at Lidgate tonight –

Met Mr. Parker in returning going about Hinscliffe’s coal lease – Some time with Wilson in the library passage – In about an hour wrote 3 pp pages and ends to M– [Mariana] (having sent off note to Mr. Jeremiah Rawson by Cordingley) to say I was right as to the prices of the coal leases, 

“but it is not my intention at present to be entirely guided by these. For as I told you on Friday, you will find me rather worse to bargain with than you would have done the 1st time you called here on the subject in question – I am, Sir, etc. etc. A Lister” –

A week today since receiving her letter – Scarce knew why I had let remain by me so long unanswered, certainly not from any want of affectionate remembrance –

“I have thought of you much, and often wished you were at my elbow – Had it been possible for you to spend another day or 2 with me here before my having England, I should have been glad on many accounts –

Maise ala ne se pent pas? – If you are to leave Lawton is not Leamington next best? Thank you, Mary, for this so kind wish to see me there – I shall hope to contrive it, as I see no prospect of being able to get off from here before the middle of January – Even then I must be more or less dependent upon my aunt, and circumstances; Yet I hope and think to be off by that time – I have been here almost long enough” –

Then about Eugenie – My aunts and Marian’s suspicion Mrs. Herbert had not really wrote the letter – But I had got over that and said what I had written in substance – Have given Mrs. N– [Norcliffe] no answer, but fear I shall not have much time to spare for Bath – 

“My friend was much pleased with your brother” hope he will be of service to her – She has plenty of faith in him – Was going on admirably well till the afflicting news of the sudden death of her most particular friend – Hope she is beginning to get over it and will be recovering again under Steph’s care –      

 “You always tell me how much better you think Mr. L– [Lawton]. Really he ought to be congratulated on having taken a new lease of life – I am rejoiced at your having ridden a good deal, and only hope to see you looking and being well enough and keep pace with Mr. L– [Lawton]”

It was thro’ inadvertance did not tell her ‘my friend and I only proposed staying 2 or 3 days in York’ and then returning straight home – Observations on M– [Mariana]’s observation of Burnett not quite to suit me now –  

“Surely she could keep house for me – But Mary, it is not my intention to trust this matter to any servant if I can help it – Surely heaven in its mercy had something in store for me better than this! Do not be long in writing – I would rather hear from you, if but a few lines – 

Tho’ I have felt bound to remember all you said to me at Lawton in May, yet for twenty years your health and happiness have been the dearest objects of my life, and I am always, Mary, very entirely and especially yours AL–”

Had just written so far at 5 20/.. – Sealed and left for John to take to the post tonight my letter to M– [Mariana] (Lawton hall Lawton Cheshire) and dinner at 5 1/2 – Aunt sitting by me –

Off to Lidgate in 25 minutes and there in 25 minutes at 6 20/.. – Miss W– [Walker] surprised but very glad to see me – She was getting low and nervous, and wavering as to whether she had done right, that I was rejoiced to have gone to her. 

She had been near sending off James with packet she had had from Mr. Ainsworth. Half a dozen pages to be returned of canting told detail of particulars of the last day of Mrs. A[insworth]’s life (how she had taken dripping and pills to one poor woman and gone to thank another for cooking them a dinner, ridiculous stuff). 

A proper letter that anyone might see, and one page of half sheet note marked private, reminding her of being his affectionate Annie. I remarked that this last expression was what he could only have used to a woman who had gone all lengths for him. He had said too, that she was the only one he could "rest upon" and that he should send her the “drawing room scrapbook.” 

I commented pretty severely on all this, and she seemed indignant. She had concluded her note written on Monday with my emendation, but dated today "gratefully and very truly yours." I made her write it over again merely to leave out the gratefully, and then dating Wednesday evening.

Say she had just received his packet, had read the detail of the last day of her friends life with deep interest and returned the detail according to his desire. Was much obliged by his offer of the scrapbook, but positively declined accepting it –  She seemed satisfied. 

We talked and got on very well. Had had tea in at eight. Went upstairs at 10 3/4 – Miss W– [Walker] poorly this evening – Complained much of the back of her neck – Had it rubbed with Mr. Day’s ointment. Fir[s]t time when she was to sleep with me. I did not smell the turpentine of it much – Fine day –

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

Secret baby chapter 4

(I broke my laptop so I'm posting this from mobile and cant hide anything under a cut for a short post, sorry.)

“How did it go?” Fuyumi is waiting for him when she gets home, nearly pouncing on him before the door is fully shut. Touya hesitates and he almost tells her the truth. That he’s taking his baby and running as far as he can, that he's going to build a new life, a safe life. But the more people he tells, the more likely Enji will find out. No. It's safer, for everyone, because if Enji suspects that Fuyumi knows anything he'll hurt her, if he just goes. He’s been planning on running away for a long time, it's time he actually did it. For his safety and his baby’s.

“We decided it was best to abort.” He squares his shoulders and looks her in the eye. The same lie passing his lips for the second time. He wishes it was easier this time.That the thought of abortion didn't make his stomach roll and his eyes water. He already loves this child more than anything. The lie is bitter, but the risk of his child coming to harm because he didn't lie is enough to send panic sparking like fire in his heart. 

“Do you want me to come with?” Fuyumi asks and she, well she sounds half relieved and not at all surprised. Touya knows why. Abortion would be the ‘smart’ thing to do right now. 

He doesn't have an alpha to help him.

Or an understanding mother.

Or a father.

He’s a young omega alone ,with a history of bad parenting and anger issues in his family, about to become a pregnant runaway.

Nothing about this is smart, He doesn't care. He’s going to try his damndest to make this work.

“I don’t want to do it alone and I can’t ask the father.” He nods, because while it would be easier to tell her no, he doesn't want her coming, it would also be too far out of character. She'd suspect something was up.

“I thought you both made the decision is he really going to leave you to do this alone?” Fuyumi sits on the edge of his bed, frowning. She's confused… but there's a hint of anger there too, if his alpha had abandoned him to abort their baby alone. Touya isn’t allowed to make nests so he’d made do with burrowing under his comforter. From what he’s heard a nest is something omega’s make for comfort and stress relief. Most omega’s make one when their instincts tell them they are safe enough. Touya’s never seen Rei have one either. He is going to have to learn for his baby. Maybe there's a library, with those self help books?

“We did. Enji got brought up and he defended him. I don’t want anything to do with him anymore. It was… it was my choice." His voice breaks there, and he doesn't bother trying to hide it.Fuyumi says nothing when he starts crying while cradling his stomach, but her hand rests on his shoulder, and he takes the comfort she offers gratefully. 

She ends up accompanying him to a clinic the next day. He’s told that he’s 4 months along and already has the start of a bump.

He’s got maybe a month before he can’t hide it anymore. He doesn't want to think about what Rei or Enji will say if they notice.

“Has anyone gone over your options with you?” His nurse asks him as she shows him into a private room.

“Kind of and I k-know, that this is dumb,increadibly dumb, but I want to keep them.” He barely gets the words out to the nurse but he does. They sound too quiet. Barely audible. 

“It’s not dumb-” she starts talking in a voice as soft as Touya was using.

“I can’t stay at home and have them, and the father, he thinks I’m getting an abortion.” Touya can’t bring himself to look at the nurse. Staring hard at the floor and trying not to remember the look on Hawks face. 

What if Hawks was here with him instead? He would probably let him hold his hand. Pump out sothing alpha hormones to calm Touya’s fear, like he did after a nightmare. If he wanted to be here at all. If Touya had admitted what he wanted, if Hawks hadn’t told Enji in excitement and gotten him killed or worse at home.

He can’t face Hawks’s anger if he goes back and comes clean. It does no good to wish for something else; he can’t risk his baby now.

“You’ve got a couple weeks until you start showing. We can help you. Does the young lady that came with you know that you're keeping your baby?” The Nurse started looking through some papers on the wall and putting them into a folder. She phrases it like Touya can have anything he wants. Says he’s keeping the baby just because he said he wanted to.

They talk some more about Touya’s options. Adoption is brought up and Touya hesitates but it's not what he truly wants. He turns adoption down and lets himself start believing he can keep his baby. The clinic manages to fit him in for an ultrasound same day and gives him the news that he’s having a baby girl.

Touya cries at the sight of her. He already loves her.

He’s still crying when he meets Fuyumi back out in the waiting room.

“Are you going to be okay,Touya?” she rubs his back.

 Later she helps him dye his hair black.

“I need a change, to keep my mind off her” is what Touya tells her. It’s the first step in his plan to get as far away as he can.

“Her? You got to find out the gender first?” Fuyumi gives Touya a concerned look.

They are alone again. Natsou getting a librarian's help today in filling out applications for highschools far enough away that he has to board.

Rei hasn’t been in the same room as him except for tense ‘family’ dinners since she had found the tests. Touya had tried to pull her aside for a moment when he came back from the clinic and told her that it was taken care of. She hadn’t responded and Touya hadn’t mentioned it again. He hadn’t spoken to her again.

“Yeah, I was far enough along, 4 months so I would have started showing soon. I asked for an ultrasound so I knew first.” He gives his twin a tiny smile. He wishes he could take his sibling’s with him. Raise his baby with free babysitting and her aunts and uncles doting on her every possible minute. Instead he’s dying his hair black while Enji is gone on business. By the time Enji is supposed to be home he’s going to be gone.

Hair dyed and looking nothing like the Touya Todoroki his father last saw,with his new hair and several new piercings and some baby weight, He gets started on finding an apartment close to the clinic.

He could choose one further but he doesn't want to risk finding a different nurse. Or a clinic as willing to hide him as this one has been. His father's influence can spread far and then nowhere will be safe.

He finds a cheap one with a landlord that doesn't ask too many questions.It takes almost a week and he’s anxious about Enji coming home early the entire time.He lies on the application about everything, starting with his name. The landlord must not have ever checked it over because a week later he’s meeting the building manager in person and being given a set of keys.

He buys small things with enji’s credit card and has them sent to the apartment instead of the house. Rei avoids him and he can’t help but be thankful. She would be able to smell the pregnancy and unlike Fuyumi he wouldn't be able to just brush it off as leftover hormones still, almost a full month later.

“You're still getting sick, Touya” Natsou points out one night. He’s rubbing Touya’s back as he gasps in air over the toilet.

“It’s okay Natsou. I promise I'm okay.” He stands up and flushes the mess . rinsing his mouth out for what feels like the 50th time that day.

“You’d tell me if you were sick right? Like sicker than normal?”

“It’s an omega thing Nat, I’m not sick.” he wraps Natsou in a hug. His younger alpha brother quickly outgrowing him doesn't bother him for once.Fuck. his brother thinks he’s dying and he can't reassure him. Can’t risk his baby girl like that. He cries into Natsou’s shoulder and excuses it as his hormones are out of whack.

Everyone piles into his room that night and sleeps on Touya’s bed. It’s his last night at home and he’s so scared that his scent breaks through his blockers. It happens often enough that the Todoroki siblings take it as a sign that they need to be extra close with Touya. He lays awake most of the night trying to control his breathing and watching over his younger siblings for the last time. He truly doesn't want to leave them with enji but he doesn't have a choice if he doesn't want to lose the baby girl growing inside him to a beating or “training”.

The next morning he skips school for the last time and goes home to grab the bag he’s been adding to for years.

Rei is home of course but she stays in her room. She’s never come out to yell at Touya about skipping school.Touya doesn't bother to seek her out now to say goodbye.

He leaves his house key and factory reset cell phone on the table and walks out for the last time. 

He is never coming back. It’s the hardest thing he’s ever done when he leaves but he does.

He’s ready to leave,or as ready as He’s ever going to be. He can’t hide his baby bump much longer.

The morning he moves into his apartment Touya buys himself a bed and the baby a crib. He almost tries to shove up the apartment stairs himself despite being 5 months pregnant now.

“Wait! Where’s your alpha? Can’t you wait until he gets home to get these up the stairs?”

“Don’t have one.” Tou-Dabi mumbles. Dabi is the name on the apartment lease and what he’s been telling everyone to call him. Dabi with no family name and no family.

“Dabi right? What about friends? There's no way I'm letting a pregnant omega carry stuff up by themselves.” The movers looked shocked that he would have them leave the furniture for him to move himself.

“Unless you two want to carry it up for me i'm just going to have to suck it up and do it myself.” Dabi glares at them. Dabi goes to grab a corner of a box and move it up the stairs himself. 5 month baby belly be damend. Its not like anyone is around to help him, he has to do this himself or it won’t get done.

“Penguin, get over here and help me take this upstairs and put it together. Law will understand and I'll tell him when we get back.” The two movers make quick and easy work out of setting the beds up for Dabi. They not only brought it up for Dabi but had put the beds together for him too. Shachi declines payment for the help and tells Dabi to remember to ask for help.The apartment is finally ready to be home.

@ruelukas22

[bbrandy2002]

Something Flubbed:

Consequences of A Bad Reblog

Part 1

Wacky Drabble #15: It could be worse.

Liam and Riley

Word count: 1102

Summary: This is a continuation of a drabble I did several weeks ago, Riley's Secret Life.

A/N: So much for hiatus 😯 Im feeling better though and thanks to everyone who reached out with love, support and encouragement.

Thanks Burnsy for pre-reading and helping to tweak a certain paragraph or two.

Warning: Lot and Lots of bad language. Riley is not holding back in this; Im almost embarrassed for her...almost.

**I will not deny, nor, confirm this is loosely autobiographical**

Sorry, my read more is not working again.

'Haha, Drake's hogtied naked on Liam's jet', Riley chuckled to herself as she read, careful to not awaken a sleeping Liam to her antics. Oh yeah, he still doesn’t know Riley reads and writes fanfic about their life on tumblr like an obsessive tool. Would he care? she has no idea, nor, does she ever intend to find out.

He starts to stir in their oversized bed, a light snore escapes him as he grumbles something about pootang. Riley hits the panic app on her laptap, bringing up the Cordonian Fall expenses report. She was supposed to look over the numbers weeks ago, but, since her ass belongs to Tumblr now, the only numbers she cares about are followers and notes.

She remains perfectly still, holding her breath, as he rolls over, his back towards her, and with a quick scratch to his balls, he blissfully resumes his slumber. Riley exhales in relief and with a little snort she returns back to her tumblring, eagerly typing out a DM, to share the newest Liamism.

Notthequeenofcordonia: Burnsy, you there? This mofo is playing with his balls again 🤣

@burnsoslow LMFAO!!

@burnsoslow Alyssa is gonna get a mouthful of Drake's balls in Chapter 394 of Heavier Things: The Nursing Home Years

Notthequeenofcordonia: At least her new dentures will make it easier. Don't need her choking and having heart palpatations again...Drakey Baby's got that new hip, should probably take it easy on him for a while.

@burnsoslow BUT I WANT THEM TO FUCK SO BAD!!!!!!!

After arguing with Burnsy for 10 minutes that at 102 years old, HT Drake's colossus is shriveled and no longer working, she returns to reading. Riley hits the little heart and begins her well crafted, 500 word reblog with five-on point gifs-to accessorize it. As she prepares to post her reblog, a light knock on the bedroom alerts her to their 5 year old, Nikolas, who does not wait for an invitation to enter.

“Mommy?”, he wearily asks, being just a small silhouette in the doorway of the surrounding darkness.

Riley huffs, lowering her laptop and shushes him, glaring over at Liam to ensure he hasn’t been disturbed before drawing her attention back to her son. “What is it kiddo?”, she cautiously whispers.

He rubs his heavy eyes with one tiny hand and holds on tightly to his blue, stuffed dragon in the other. “I had a nightmare momma, I’m really scared”, he replies softly with a sniffle.

Riley stared at the small boy, who was the perfect mixture of she and Liam, the proof of their love….then she looked at the pending reblog that kept calling out for her to finish, the other proof of her love.

“Um, Nikolas”, she bit her fingernail as she contemplated the terrible example she was about to set as a mother, “go sleep with Grandma Regina”.

Nikolas’ eyes widened in disgust as he slumped in frustration, “But momma”, he cried, “she pisses the bed and blames me for it”.

"It could be worse", Riley grumbled, wishing Regina would just have her vaginal mesh surgery already. As Liam began to toss again, rolling over this time to face her side and muttering, little cockblocker, Riley decided to help her son find comfort back in his own room. She eased up from the bed, placing the laptop by her pillow and threw her pink cottony, mom robe over her pajamas.

"I'm coming Nik, just have to do...something", she trailed, reaching back over for her laptop. She typed out one last sentence before hitting, post.

Riley tapped at the keys, squinting her eyes at those words.....

Something flubbed. Try again.

Her breathing became a little more heavier, her heart starting to race. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes, knowing that if she believed hard enough, her massive reblog would suddenly reappear.

All of time and space froze in existence as she continued to hit the 'retry' option again and again and again and again....nothing...it was gone.

"YOU SON OF A MOTHER FUCKING WHORE, COCKSUCKING, BILLY JOE DICKWAFFLE, SHIT EATING, HONKY TONK PECKERWOOD, SKANKASSED, DICKHEADED, JIZZSTAINED, CUMWIPED, TINY NUTSACKED, BITCH!!!!!!!!!! The laptop flew across the room.

It really was like something out of a horror flick, a creepy ass Stephen King novel, a Dateline NBC story. King Fabian's large naked portait shook vigorously at the reverberations before bouncing off the wall and crashing to the marbled floor.

"Mommy!", Nikolas yelled in a panic as he ran away to seek refuge.

Liam's eyes shot open, not completely awake but ready to pounce whatever the hell was torturing his wife. His body weaved back and forth in attack mode, demonstrating his highly skilled martial arts moves, kicks and spins, slashes and puches. Unbeknowest to him, his dick was poking through the hole in his boxers, bouncing and flopping with each technique, causing Riley to burst into a fit of laughter.

"What the hell happened! Are you okay?", he asked breathless and confused, his dick still poking through.

Riley covered her mouth, attempting to stifle her laughs, still baffled that he didn't realize his dick and now half a ball had escaped their confines. "I'm fine...I'm fine....but, g'day mate, permission to come upboard captain", she squeeled, saluting in gest to his manhood.

Liam looked down, a slight growl escaping as he tucked his jewels back in its place. "I heard screams....why is Fabian's portrait busted...and.. stop fucking laughing, it's over."

"I'm trying, but...oh god...I cant", she cackled, "I have to go check on Nikolas, he had a nightmare", she scurried past him and out of the room before he could ask any further questions.

If he wasnt pissed before, he was about to be. Just as he turned to head towards the bathroom, his foot stepped on the opened laptop Riley threw, sliding him forward before he corrected himself and skid backwards with a thud.

"Goddamit!", he howled, twisting and contorting his back, wallowing from the bruising pain. As he laid there, trying to catch his breath, he glanced over at the object that has caused his affliction in more ways than one. His head popped up, pulling the laptop closer to him, completely shocked by its contents, his blood boiling the more he read and saw. DRAKES COLOSSUS DICK...RIDING DRAKE IS MY CHOICE, EDITS OF LIAM AND RILEY WITH CREEPY KIDS THAT LOOK LIKE DRAKE........DRAKE, DRAKE, FUCKING DRAKE.....

"I finally got him back to sleep with some Nyquil and a shot of whiskey....", Riley stopped talking as she entered their bedroom again moments later and realized, Liam knew.

"Uhhh, I..I can explain".

__________________

Wacky Drabbler tags: @emceesynonymroll @sirbeepsalot @dcbbw @jessiembruno @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @pedudley @romanticatheart-posts @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @theroyalromancexx

[red-elric]

so ive read fruits basket like twenty times, and over the last couple of years i noticed that, each time, i was drawn more and more to the characters of kimi and momiji, and identified with them in a way that was really confusing to me because i didnt really think i *actually* had a very similar personality to either of them? (discord friends may disagree but, well, this whole post is going to be about people and characters who change up their personality to be more likable.) i got all introspective about it and finally came to a conclusion about their characters that i subconsciously knew already: the key similarity between the two of them and myself is the way we very carefully layer subtle personality masks for ourselves to protect ourselves and to seem more approachable and likable without actually being vulnerable to other people. (other characters in furuba do this a lot too--key examples that come to mind are tohru, kagura, and yuki--but i care more about momiji and kimi so this is about them.)

to clarify a bit what i mean by this, ill start with a personal example. ive always been pretty good at remembering people’s names, especially if i think theyre cool and want to become friends with them, but i noticed around middle school or high school that people subconsciously find it intimidating/stalkerish if you know their name and they cant remember yours, especially if youve only met once. on the other hand, if they *do* remember your name, and you admit to not remembering theirs, they feel empowered and sympathetic to your situation; and if neither of you remember the other’s name, you have a moment of solidarity that can lead to a more relaxed relationship. so, i started pretending to have a manageable amount of trouble remembering the names of people i wanted to be friends with. the first two or three times that i meet someone, at some point i will use “clarifying their name” as a conversation starter, ie: “you’re....[], right?” or “is it []?” this is a small effect of a pattern of behavior i tend to follow: feigning incompetence to gain trust and camaraderie. is it manipulative? absolutely, but harmlessly so. its directly derived from my own social anxieties, but its a relatively healthy way to feel more connected with my peers and to stop feeling ostracized by people who resent me for being “smarter” than them--something i struggled with a lot in my youth. momiji and kimi dont put up the *same* masks as myself, but they are both rather adept at maintaining their own masks, and are both incredibly socially perceptive in the same way that i am: they analyze people’s reactions to their behavior and sculpt themselves to get the reaction they want.

lets take a look at what this means for kimi. surface level, kimi seems pretty cookie cutter--sure, shes a little chaotic, but she fits quite nicely into the femme fatale/dumb blonde trope (even though shes not blonde). but did you know that shes actually at the top of her class? its subtle, but to me its always been obvious that shes actually incredibly intelligent and constantly manipulating people to suit her needs. there are easy examples of this, of course: flirting with a teacher to get a new whiteboard, anyone? but there’s one scene that’s always spoken volumes to me about her character, and that’s the one-off joke where kakeru starts to say some “secret” about her, clearly joking, and she immediately shuts him down by cutting him off with “don’t say unnecessary things!” and elbowing him in the side, all while still smiling cheerfully. the subtlety of this is that, with her reaction, she’s actually imitating their audience: yuki. it’s yuki she doesn’t want to know about whatever kakeru knows, so she shuts down kakeru in a way we’ve seen yuki yell at kakeru whenever kakeru makes idiotic jokes. the physical attack, the angry smile, accusing kakeru of saying something annoying, but that doesnt really matter; none of these are particularly characteristic to kimi, she causes as much chaos as kakeru on a good day, but they’re incredibly recognizable to yuki. her reaction is familiar to yuki, and it invokes an assumption that kakeru is making a lame joke, not trying to reveal one of her deepest, darkest secrets, and it works because yuki would react completely differently if kakeru tried to tell someone about *his* secrets. yuki doesnt pursue the subject further, kakeru bounces back easily and doesnt give it a second thought, and kimi is safe. so, we can tentatively say that kimi has a habit of reflecting other’s expectations to hide her true self.

now, is this one scene enough on its own to prove this idea? of course not. however, when we view her actions as a whole we start to see a pattern. we see several instances where kakeru will say something stupid and kimi will listen, encourage it, or say something just as stupid back; it’s only when he tries to reveal something about *her* that she shuts him down. we see subtle signs of genuine anger when he tries to reveal her secret: the overly violent jab, the tensed vein/angry eyebrows, etc--not very characteristic for happy-go-lucky, flirtatious kimi. and, of course, we have several examples of how she manipulates a) men into buying things for her, granting her favors, leaving their girlfriends for her, etc; and b) women into feeling inferior to her, feeling aggravated with her, and thinking she’s incredibly troublesome but knowing that they can’t argue with the men about it. overall, its not a far stretch at all to think she’s manipulating everyone around her to avoid revealing information about her true self: a proud, intelligent woman who enjoys causing chaos, but is also very manipulative and controlling to the people around her and hates being vulnerable.

momiji is in some ways similar, and in other ways very very different. most people--especially characters in the story with him--tend to put momiji in this “sweet, innocent child” box. it’s not just his height--his fashion, mannerisms, outlook on life, etc are all very reminiscent of someone much younger than he is, and people tend to *treat* him like he’s much younger than he is. even if they know intellectually that yes, momiji is significantly older than he appears, it’s very easy for the older sohmas to treat him as a troublesome but still loved younger sibling--someone to be taken care of, not taken too seriously, someone lovable. i’ve seen several people point out that part of *why* momiji does this is because he subconsciously feels that hes not allowed to act like an older sibling (to momo), so he acts as a younger sibling in an effort to get a similar sort of familial bond without overstepping the boundaries that his family instilled in his mind, and i agree. i believe momiji has a habit of feigning youth to more easily bond with the people he loves. his childish actions and behavior make him easier to deal with, and also give him a little more leeway to do things that would normally frowned upon if he appeared older, ex: sleeping in a bed with tohru, wearing a girl’s uniform top to school, taking any chance he can get to be physically affectionate with people, indulging in sweets and candy, etc.

two things draw momiji’s true personality out of its shell: his growth spurt, forcing people to acknowledge his actual age, and the breaking of his curse. late game momiji, to me, has always seemed bitter, tired, and sarcastic, as opposed to the sweet, energetic, and sincere front he’d put on for most of the series, which is very interesting to me. of course, you’d normally *expect* someone who’s gone through as much as momiji to *be* bitter, tired, sarcastic, etc; however, when he puts his child-like mask on, it’s easy to pretend that he’s this loving, saintly child who bears no ill will towards anyone, who can be knocked to hell and back and still stand back up to smile again. and i do think it’s true that momiji has an incredible capacity for forgiveness and love, but there’s also no denying that he has a limit, and we can see that during his first conversation with akito after his curse breaks. this, i think, is the most raw, true representation of momiji in the whole story; momiji has lost his link with the family he made for himself in the zodiac, he’s been physically forced to grow out of his persona, he’s finally seeing that his primary abuser is really not so powerful after all, and he’s forced to finally confront the fact that, while his curse, the thing that caused most of the troubles in his life, is broken, the impacts it already had on his life won’t magically go away. momiji in this scene seems completely disconnected from akito, who is still caught up in the curse, still desperately trying to hold everything together; in his lowest moment, we can finally see momiji, not as an all-forgiving saint, but as someone who just wants to start over. he’s not happy that his curse ended; id even go as far to say that momiji, out of every zodiac, is the one who most wishes it was still around, for the bond that it gave him with the other zodiacs and as something he could pin the blame on for his family struggles. which is why it is so sad to me that his was among the first to break.

now, yall probably know by now that i am a momimi bitch, so lets talk about them together. most of the people i see shipping them--and i fully admit, this is how i started shipping them--simply just say “same energy,” make a few cute headcanons about how they’d use each other for clout, and call it a day. this is perfectly fine. however, here at Overthinking It Inc., we take it a few steps deeper. personally, i have a hard time getting invested in a ship unless i can see how the characters compliment each other, how they help each other grow, and how they could genuinely enjoy each other’s company enough to pursue a romantic relationship. it took a little bit of obsessive extrapolating, but ive finally figured out just *how well* momiji and kimi compliment each other.

momiji, at the end of furuba, is going through a metamorphosis. he’s been forced out of his childish persona and into the life of an adult rather quickly, and he takes the opportunity to try to become more true to himself. we can see, in the last few chapters, the beginnings of bounds of growth; however, i imagine that there is a significant “awkward” period in his growth. judging from what i know about his character, i believe he would, in his effort to be more honest and confident, overcompensate a bit; he would become overbearing, intense, perhaps even oversharing. he might have a tendency to try to figure out what’s “wrong” with his friends and family, might always be trying to “fix” everything. i could easily see him, in fact, develop a bit of a selfish attitude (albeit rooted in kindness--it is, after all, still momiji); in his journey to stop letting people walk all over them, i believe he might become prone to walking over people himself. he’d have no idea where the lines are, where someone’s limits are, because he never had the chance to test them out in his youth, and because the people in power in his life (his parents and akito) never respected anyone else’s limits. enter kimi: tough, walled off, and incredibly secretive, though she tries to hide it. momiji, with his social perceptiveness, would notice at some point how difficult it is for her to form genuine, emotional connections with others, and would feel the urge to help her, to draw her out of her shell, not realizing that she doesnt necessarily want to be understood, nor that she’s (now entering headcanon territory, be warned) *scared* of those kinds of relationships. she’d take it, for a while, but there would come a time when she’d snap. this would do wonders for helping momiji figure out where the boundaries are, and how to be more aware of other people’s wants and needs (and it is something that tohru, reserved little wallflower that she is, would never be able to do for him).

kimi, on the other hand, has not quite started developing her character at the end of the manga. i like to apply all sorts of believable anxieties onto her: maybe she regrets not having an easy connection with other girls, like she does with boys. maybe she refuses to believe in the familial structure (that momiji idolizes). maybe she’s so used to playing the part of the homewrecker that, when she finally realizes that she’s found something or someone she truly loves, she doesn’t know how to handle it, and always worries that somebody���s going to take it away for her. maybe she views connections with others, or vulnerability, as a weakness, something that could be used against her, and tries to do everything she can to wall people off and hide her true feelings. well, good news for her, momiji is the resident king of loving family structures. family is something he truly loves and understands, from how much he’s admired it from afar, and been grateful for the family he’s made for himself in hatori, tohru, and the other zodiac. he’s well primed to help her understand what a true family is like, that real love is a good thing, not a scary thing, and that it’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes. this big, sweethearted doofus who somehow managed to see how much she was struggling under the many layers of masks that she hides beneath? there’s no way kimi wouldnt fall for him. and she, this girl who challenges everything he believes in, teaches him valuable lessons about how far is too far, and is basically the most fun person he’s ever met? there’s no way momiji wouldn’t fall for her.

i believe the two of them would start things off as almost a play; theyd portray a satire of the ideal male and female celebrity couple rather easily; theyd lean into the standard boy and girl roles almost ridiculously so, drawing attention to the absurdity of the standard relationship and somehow flirting through it. kimi, as we know, likes to pretend to be this helpless, flirtatious, “i couldnt possibly do anything on my own, oh whatever shall i do O3O” caricature of the feminine “ideal” to draw men in; momiji, i feel, would respond to that with a dorky, happy-go-lucky, “i can help you with that, miss ; )” caricature of the masculine, “ideal” gentleman, just for fun. theyd put on a show, for each other, for their peers, and for themselves, but they would eventually run into some troubles (detailed above). things would be tense, but theyd keep up their personas--why would they *ever* admit to their flaws to the outside world, theyre perfect? their friends would notice, of course, but wouldnt be able to do much about it; in the end, the only people perceptive enough to read through the bullshit of one is the other. theyd come to an understanding--spoken or unspoken (with the subtleties of their relationship, its not unreasonable that they could change their entire perspective of their relationship with just actions, not direct words or conversation)--and shift back into their previous, flirtatious relationship, except its different this time. because now, they understand each other, they love each other, theyre practically reading the other’s mind, and theyre perfectly in tune. rather than putting on masks to hide from each other, they wear one together to hide from the world--but, they think, that’s probably enough.

[tessacxstello]

hello im (F, 24) an idiot and forgot to post tessa’s (F, 22, fictional) intro!

pls bare in mind most of this was written 5+ years ago n i haven’t written tessa since 2015...... but lets get this show (LOCKWOODRP) on the road (DASHBOARD). 

tw school shooting, tw bipolar disorder

art hoe. always covered in paint. why?? she bad at painting

the mark rothko jackson pollock kind of bad tho wher people are like.... omg.... revolutionary..... its a badly drawn vagina

fuckin loves astrology, but cant take it that seriously bcos one of her bfs was a gemini so there’s some lenience there. but she WILL blame her hormones and mood swings on the positon of mars

embodies pure sunshine. 

one of those really annoying people that can go through the most traumatic shit and still find a positive spin. 

cares so much for others but does not really care for herself n it’s meant she just bottles up all this shit n when someone asks her how her day has gone she just falls on the ground like tht bit in midsommar when florence does that loud wheezy noise and sits down 

has never really had much money at all. learns to make-do with what she has. loves upcycling!! her bookshelf is made from cardboard which she’s reinforced by pappering it over with pages ripped out of thrifted books. her sofa is an old car boot which she’s repainted, put on wheels and stuffed w cushions so that it’s actually bearable to sit on.

her knitted cardigan? its made out of wife material.

knits all the time. will crochet you a christmas scarf. if ur lucky you might get a knitted jumper with a penis in a santa hat

still sleeps with cuddly toys n then wonders why ppl dont think she’s mature enough for a serious relationship

very passionate about Sister Doing It For THemselves!! raised by a single mom who worked her ass off so that tessa could do fun activities after school, have lelli kelly shoes, and go to college (not necessarily in tht order of importance)

tessa was born out of wedlock as the result of an affair between her mom (a journalism intern in her early 20s) and a new york times editor. 

the editor offered to pay tessa’s mom off to have an abortion, but she was like fuck u and told the papers he’d done that and used the money to cover the cost of her internship which they refused to pay her for

and because of the scandal, he ended up going through a pretty messy divorce with his wife, and losing custody of his kids. so as a child  tessa was seen as the cause of a divorce and received mutliple letters from the editors wife (to tessa personally!) and his kids saying how she had ruined everything, but her mom moved them to another town so tessa didn’t have to deal with that crap. 

her mom worked 3 jobs to put her through school, so in return tessa pushes herself incredibly hard to succeed. needs a break and a hug and to get laid to be honest. 

an old soul. likes old films, old music, old people. only recently got an iphone 5s so not really with this century yet

very sweet and soft and kind but also a fucking mess and won’t listen to anyone else’s opinion. she’ll take comfort, but not advice. 

feminist buddhist bisexual vegetarian for human rights and animal welfare. standing on a soapbox shouting about the climate in the quad, shoving flyers into your hands. flyers everwhere. she turns up at your grandmas funeral and shoves one into her mouth. she’s stolen the mic from the vicar to talk about pandas.

says “mother of pearl” and “heavens to betsy”.

had an affair with her married piano teacher and he’s now facing a custody battle and his wife is leaving him and tessa has completely internalised that guilt despite her being the victim in the scenario

aesthetics: paint splattered jeans, loose curls spilling from a scrunchie, thrifted blouses in bright yellow, guzzling coffee in the library at three am when a term paper’s due, shoddily illustrated campaign posters to save endangered species, polaroids plastered to your bedroom walls with scribbled dates on the frames, jumping into a stack of autumn leaves, jumping off piers in the summer months and stripping off your wet clothes on the beach, digging your thumbs into peaches to leave a bruise, smoking with the extractor fan on to hide the smell, bath bombs, letting the girls at lush rub samples all over your skin, cacti with knitted bobble hats, decorative pillows and sun and moon blanket throws, basic bitch fairy lights hanging from every single window, painting the name of the boys you’ve loved inside your wardrobe door.

studies fine art and philosophy, and wants to become either a lecturer or the first woman president. vibe wise, very similar to leslie knope, missy from big mouth, and basically the naive everygirl with a high opinion of themselves trope

gets drunk off like one double vodka lemonade because she’s small and she’s a pretty messy wild drunk. it’s when slutty tessa comes out, and the next day she’ll thoroughly regret every choice made and decide she’s never drinking again and cutting out all men and starting daily sudoko

on the cheerleading team and is a flyer, which she sees as a HUGE responsibility and she works really hard to make sure she’s on it for her team. one of those get up at 7am and go to the gym before school types its sickening

she had a really traumatic time at high school because there was a shooting in her school. she was in the next classroom when it happened, and she lost one of her friends in the shooting. she had to take two months off school, was diagnosed with depression and put on anti-depressants because of it. in her 2nd year of uni she was rediagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety, which she’s now on medication for. she can be really good for several months at a time and feel super creative and determined (she actually finds manic periods helpful for her creativity n art, n sadly sometimes doesn’t take her meds in these periods to push herself more which is obvs super bad.....). but when the bad periods come they can also last months n she had to take a semester out of school last year because of her mood, so she should be a senior by now but she’s retaking junior year

she attends weekly stress-management sessions prescribed by her doctor which she finds pointless.

very childish in the sense that she can only see her own point of view and kind of views herself as the “protagonist” and thinks her ideas are super important and life changing and she IS Destined for Greatness! despite being pretty much average af

pinterest board.

STATS

age: 22

height: 5'2"

positive traits: kind-hearted, gregarious, selfless, philosophical, open minded, idealistic, courageous, feisty, charismatic, loyal, adventurous.

negative traits: stubborn, hot-headed, reticent, escapist, self-destructive, easily led, naive, troubled, complicated, stepford smiler, envious, overdramatic, explosive.

distinguishing Marks: heart-shaped birthmark on the right of her chest, splattering of freckles across the cheeks during summer months, full lips, large eyes, porcelain features, long wavy hair, tattoo of a bird and a cage on her ankles and a basic bitch arrow tat on her wrist (srry to anyone with an arrow tat).

skills: jack-of-all-trades, talented pianist, perceptive, knows the correct way to throw a punch, good survival instinct, is able to remain calm in stressful situations, endures, artistic, excels in academic studies, hard-working and self-motivated, expert liar and talented actress.

likes: wolves, vintage thrift store fashion, old leather-bound books, left-wing democratic politics, cigarettes, poetry, John Hughes movies, cold coffee, hot tea, the sound of laughter, staying up til 4am having deep conversations, Tchaikovsky, having deep conversations about life, stationary, DC Comics, horoscopes, winged eyeliner, cats, knee-high socks, house music, abandoned buildings, studio ghibli, the smell of the earth after rain, Wes Anderson films, herbal tea, old people, solitude, esoteric things, the smell of freshly baked bread, Charles Bukowski, the moon.

fears: death, oblivion, global warming, losing those she loves, isolation, clowns, guns, enclosed spaces.

nicknames: Tess, T-Dog, Tessie, Socrates, Princess, Sunshine Girl, Florence Nightingale.

alignment: Neutral Good

MBTI type: INFP

BIOGRAPHY

tw school shooting

Her story begins with Cordelia Costello, a twenty-three year old college drop-out, turned beautician, turned columnist, turned intern at a local publishing company. She was a youthful, beautiful, siren of a women, always surrounded by an aura of enigma and an entourage of men. It was no surprise to the gossips in the office that within six months working at the company, Cordelia had added to her list another title – mistress to Franklin Hozier, the Editor of the New York Times. After two blissful months and three hundred and twenty seven orgasms, Cordelia decided she wanted a baby. Franklin laughed in her face. Feeling isolated and used, Cordelia continued her affair with her boss’ boss for another month, before deciding to take matters into her own hands.

It started with a turkey baster.

Soon the infant cries of a baby girl graced the world, her wrinkled skin puckered and pink as her mother held her in her arms, glancing upon the most beautiful thing in her life. Once Tessa, named after Cordelia’s favourite literary heroine, entered the world, Franklin left her life and things took a turn for the better. Despite living in a rented one-bedroom apartment in Staten Island, on what little money Cordelia had saved, Tessa’s childhood years were filled with nothing but the happiest of memories. Times were tough, but what they lacked in money, the Costello’s made up in love. While Tessa was at school, Cordelia did odd jobs cleaning, child-minding, working in local nurseries, in order to save up enough money to give her daughter the best start in life.

Despite what she had been led to believe by television shows and teen movies, the first few years of High School were some of the best years of her life. Tessa threw herself into a multitude of activities that High School offered her, including the drama club, the orchestra, choir, badminton and the school newspaper. While she certainly wasn’t considered ‘popular’ at school, Tess had a wide circle of friends and acquaintances. In fact, High School was a place where she made some of the greatest memories of her life, but come her final year, it was also a place where she was haunted by some of her worst.

On the January 17th of Tessa’s senior year of high school, a shooting took place in Westville High School. For two hours Tessa locked herself in a supply cupboard, her head between her knees as she tried to stay silent despite the screams of horror from the corridor. Eighteen students were caught in the crossfire, two of which were Tessa’s best friends. Bouquets of flowers, laminated photographs, Teddy Bears in cling-film bags attached to balloons littered the streets as families and friends came to pay tribute to the eighteen students withered before they had a chance to bloom.

It took two months of therapy before Tessa could return to school. Some of the survivors could never return due to the horrors that their eyes had laid witness to. Sometimes Tessa felt like a part of her had died with the friends that were stolen from her too soon, but one thought kept her going through: she had survived, she was alive and breathing, and she could not afford to loose a second of the precious time she had been granted on this earth. Despite the nightmares that continued to haunt her each night, Tessa found in the aftermath of the disaster a new sense of motivation. She began applying for scholarships for colleges without her mother’s knowledge, in the hope that her academic success would be enough to carry her through further education. Thankfully, it was, and after three torturous months of waiting Tess was offered an arts scholarship to her dream school, Lockwood University, where she hoped she could finally start to rebuild her life.

THE PRESENT:

Life at university was like a separate world. Students came and went like moths among the whisperings and the tequila and the stars. In this new world, Tessa was exposed for the first time in her life to alcohol, drugs, and the sexual appetites of other students her age – though she politely declined all three. Instead, Tessa threw herself into the vast array of activities in the hope that by distracting herself she could escape the terrible flashbacks that continued to haunt her. Tessa joined the lacrosse team, despite never having played before, and took up cheerleading discovering a new talent; she joined the musical theatre group, and the film club, and even set up her own acapella singing society. But despite how much she tried to throw herself into student life, her past hung around her like a bad smell, and with the added pressure of the Sinking Ships zine, Tess began to feel the weight of her secret tying her down like a pair of shackles around her wrists.

PERSONALITY:

If someone was to describe Tessa in a single word, it would most likely be ‘bubbly’, ‘open-minded’ or ‘sweet’. But they would be wrong – Tessa is not bubbly, or sweet, or stubborn, or hotheaded, or fiesty, or infectious, or any of the things the world see her as, but merely a numb and lonely echo of the gregarious, halcyon girl she once was. Tessa Costello was one of life’s enigmas. No one knew who she was, for to each person she met she wore a different mask – she dripped confidence, or was painfully shy; she was an exhibitionist, or a brooding wallflower; she took things too seriously, or not seriously at all. She was an actress and the world was her stage, each person she met a different member of the audience in the performance of her life. In truth, Tessa no longer even recognised herself. Insecure, and self-destructive, she tried to hang on to the extroverted, mischievous pieces of herself that everyone had once loved, but day by day it got harder to know what lay in the vacant holes blown through her mind. While she was stubborn and hot-headed, Tessa always saw the best in people, which meant that she was easily led astray. While she had grown up learning to be street smart and astute, she was idealistic and allowed silly fantasies to cloud her mind. By nature, she was passionate, which lead her to misimagine and romanticise those she met. Despite the hell she had witnessed, and the anxiety that feasted upon her, she believed that people were innately good and that to have courage and be kind could cure anyone of their sadness – yet she was unable to cure herself.

TWITTER:

@500daysoftessa: i blame disney films and musicals for my high expectations of men

@500daysoftessa: i am in love with the boy who works at starbucks. today i asked for a double latte and he gave me a tripple, which i think is proof that my love is requited. our children will be smart and talented and beautiful.

@500daysoftessa: little known historical fact: pharaohs were burried with their hands crossed over their chests because it was a popular belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

[ellerevelle]

okay so im feeling crazy and detached again (as usual lately)

but instead of spiraling into absolute fucking panic, I’m deciding to take today to just ... not wholly subscribe to this manner of thinking BUT. JUST FOR NOW. I feel like taking some of the craziness flack off myself and blaming it on some shit outside of myself. Because feeling this weird and detached cant all just be me. So here’s a brainstorming of whats got me fucked up, in no particular order: 

Trump is our stupid President

That guy who told me he loved me daily and asked me to be his girlfriend after basically living with me immediately after meeting me and I fell for hard despite a ton of red flags CHEATED on me while I was away visiting home. 

And then blamed it on MY bad communication? fuck that guy. 

But now I see one of the girls he slept with (multiple times, three days in a row) I see her everywhere all the time in everyones instagrams, at everyones parties... ugh. 

Um. People are dying. Close to me. More importantly and spefcifically women I love are dead. 

I didnt get to see Inga before she died. I was too busy forging a relationship with CHEATER GUY. Didnt get home in time to see her. Talk to her. 

Grandma. This has been the whole first year without her, come November. Its subtle, but terrible and I hate it. She was my last matriarch. The last woman who’s blood is in me. 

because Mom’s dead too. And has been since August of 2015. 2015, right? God it feels like forever ago now, probably because I’ve pushed it away. She died unexpectedly and NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS SAID THE WORD SUICIDE OUT LOUD even though thats what happened. She OD’d on prescribed opiate painkillers to escape her depression. And we NEVER talk about it. 

So I kindof feel insane. Not talking about things that are clearly there. Like, are they not clearly there for anybody else? Now all my women are gone. My brother literally avoids talking about feelings. My dad is a little more receptive but is more the comforting type than the forthcoming, express onesself type. Getting sentimentality out of my brother is like pulling teeth sometimes. But yet if his son does something cute, its God’s Work and he cant help but cry and get that beautiful lovie squishy look on his face. 

I’m jealous of my own nephew. I see the way my Mom loved me, in the way my Brother loves his son. And I miss being that perfect to somebody. My Dad loves me forever and always and there isnt a word for how grateful I feel for our relationship. I dont take that for granted at all. It actually kindof scares me because... hah, well what if Dad dies? Like, before I’m ready? I’ll be even MORE fucked! 

Anyways. Austins been pissing me off. I’m sorry but although Polyamory is possible and cool and im sure quite beautiful for many, 

The Austin poly scene is fucked and tainted and a bunch of slutty people having orgies and not TALKING about anything and its ruining the healthy vibe poly is incumbent upon. 

So, whatever I’m angry. So fuck that noise. 

I feel like because of cheater guy and my anger at the psuedo poly orgy sexy bullshit scene in Austin, I feel like I’ve broken up with a whole group of friends. Like, I dont want to be around any of it. I dont want to see you eat mushrooms and twerk. I dont want to see your stupid, super naked outfit. I dont think its hot you carry a flogger or can pole dance or slink around like a tarantino character. It used to be hot and thrilling and fun, when I felt like it was connected and for love and sharing and caring. But now it all just is slutty and vapid and useless and cold. Like a sad clown. And thats not sexy, its dark and desperate. *this is about both VERY particular people and broad general strokes. There are several extremely amazing friends in the scene and outskirts thereof that truly inspire me and dont fall into this catagory in my mind, although they’d probably still be angry with me for dissing things ^^ the way I just did but. fuck it, this is MY journal entry and I can be irrational if I want to. 

You cant be open fucking minded ALL the time. Sometimes people really arent acting with anyones best intentions but their own. I’ve used up SO MUCH FUCKING ENERGY making myself soften and open and “woke” and trying to go with everybodys flow. And I’m exhausted and over it. I have my own principles and theres nothing wrong with having differing opinions than someone else. 

All summer I’ve been feeling like I’m a bad person for not liking or not understanding this hyper sexual scene in Austin. I thought, “why am I shaming a scene thats giving me opportunity to really shine and be free?” when, in an IDEAL world, yes thats what the scene could be. But in what actually fucking unfolds -- humans SUCK and dudes SUCK and girls SUCK and everybody (especially when horny) are fucking STUUUUPIIIIIDDDD and ideals get thrown out the window! people arent nearly as “woke” as I gave them the actual credit for. Seriously. So! I’m fuckin OUTTIE! 

I’ve felt broken up with a whole scene. FUck cheater guy, fuck poly, fuck orgies, fuck people who are reckless with my love. 

Back to the list:

I’ve been eating too much out of boredom. Which I’ll blame on lack of quality social interaction in this town. Where are the scholars? Where are the sexy edgy BRAINY people? I’m tired of hot people in little clothing in the summer. 

Ah! Another thing for the list. its been TOO FUCKING HOT OUT. FOR MONTHS. 100 DEGREES FOR MONTHS. thats enough to make anyone insane. 

So i’m sick of teenie boppers in their nothing outfits in the heat. 

I want old smart people in peacoats. I miss books and weather and frowns. Irritable debates about literature or physics or religious theories. 

I only like my own brand of cigarettes. 

My roommates are annoying me. I dont really like my house anymore. Theres too many humans and not enough square footage. Four people to one kitchen is TOO MUCH SHIT. EVERYONE BUYS THEIR OWN BANANAS AND THEY ALLLLLL GO BROWN ON THE TABLE. thats four peoples worth of bad bananas. FUcking stupid. 

I dont have a hairdresser here. Sometimes when I feel shitty I like to throw money at the problem. Buy something. Get a haircut. See a show. Etc. 

And my hairdresser love is in Philadelphia and getting a flight to get a haircut is slightly insane (without a longer visit)

I miss Adam. 

What else can I blame my upset on. Shitty politics, shitty weather, shitty social sexual scene in my town, I dont like my house, I dont like my hair. Its too expensive to live here. No one in my immediate acquaintance or friend circle seems interested in the sort of romantic relationship I’m seeking, nor if they did does anyone have the “it” factor I look for which I’ll *try* to describe maybe in another post. 

So. I sit inside my room and try to fix stupid remedial things as if itd make a big impact. I tidy and put away clothes in attempt to feel less cluttered but am too scared to make BIG cuts and BIG changes. So instead I light insence and watch netflix and eat too much. I have started going to Barre3 again more and have been semi regular with therapy so thats something. 

I really ought to start doing “morning pages” like the book Fiona loaned me suggests in its FIRST GODDAMN CHAPTER. But, alas, I am lazy. 

No, I have become recently lazy. 

I’m spoiled. I dont do things I dont want to do. Its a major character flaw. I only push and struggle if I see worthyness in it, and lately theres been serious lack of evidence of that in, well, anything.

 #depression! 

so, I guess in summation- because nothing has been a WORTHWHILE struggle, EVERYTHING feels like a struggle. Humph. thats... thats not good. But it does, because i dont see the worth in a lot of goals or tasks or even relationships, (and i dont mean the greedy “what can I GET for ME out of this!” sort of b.s.) (I mean the... conserve precious energy, is this going to teach me something or help me grow as a person or bring love into my life sort of vibe) ...

when I dont think the energy expenditure is going to pay off, I dont do it. Or I do it half way or lazily or with tentative fear. I guess I could do an experiment and just do everything with HOPE and see if my energy put in will get a different result... but. like. I feel like I did that all summer and he cheated on me. And my “friends” said “dont be angry, be poly” and I couldnt call on my Mom or Grandma and so I call on eating and isolation and running away to visit home where no one cares I dont have a job. where the house is big and the air is cold and my friends are smart. 

I really miss Kristian. That was one of the greatest feelings of self love in my entire life. I felt like, if someone that special noticed ME. Saw ME. Little old, semi chubby, not famous ME, and wanted me around for a couple tour dates. Then I ought to believe in myself TOO. I wanted to dance, I wanted to make art, I wanted to take photos, I wanted to be bold, I wanted to be humble, I felt so open and content with myself. I was motivated to work out, I was motivated to eat healthy and clean and small portions. It was easy. It felt so fun. I loved him. I dreamt big. My imagination was so warm and excited. My inner critic was GONE. 

But he faded away. He got back with his ex. The shooting star left the sky. I’m still grateful for the experience at all, but. 

I feel a little stupid for thinking anything could’ve happened. 

And I truly miss feeling so special and excited about life. 

I dont want to run away from Austin out of fear. But I cant tell if I’m unhappy and want to leave genuinely, or if this is the spoiled part of me thats like, “this sucks, lets leave.” instead of pushing though, curating something better with some struggle, and sticking it out. 

How do people make big life decisions like this? I feel like thats what marriages do. People stay together and fight. But sometimes they get divorced anyways, its just been longer. More years wasted. When maybe it wouldve been healthier to leave sooner and cut the cord and be free to live without, sooner. 

I really like a lot of things about this city. But I really dislike a lot too. And I cant tell where I want my life to go, in a grand sense, so its hard to pick which attributes will matter in the long run. 

I dont think I should leave yet. Maybe a new house. Or like, serious efforts to declutter this one. Is this just excuses? Ugh. 

Declutter this house. If that doesnt feel better, leave the house and move to a new part of austin. If that doesnt feel better, leave austin. 

I need a job. 

[svtmatokis]

Hello! I fell in love with your work and I was wondering if I could get a story where Vernon helps you study your med school notes or something? Thank you sm!!!

Hi!! Sorry it took so long but there were so many directions I could’ve taken this in. I hope you enjoy it and if it was what you wanted ^_^

Pairing: Reader x Vernon

Genre: Fluff

Words: 1912

“ I REALLY cant go out today.” you said into your phone while walking to your dorm room..

“Y/N come on!!! It’s the final party before finals! You HAVE to go!” the boy on the other line said in a whining tone and you sighed.

“Finals are  the reason why, I can’t go out tonight. I need to study, med school doesn’t pay for itself you know.” you said as the boy on the other line snickered.

“It does for me.”

His statement caused you to roll your eyes, “Well considering your father is the director of the university hospital…anyways I can’t go out tonight. My first exam is the day after tomorrow and I need to study and finalize my notes.””

The boy sighed on the other side but you noticed it sounded more exhausted than frustrated., “Fine…Where are you now?”

“Just about to get back to….my…” your hand which was holding the phone dropped to the side as you stared the person standing by your room door.

“Vernon?”

Vernon looked at you with a nod of his head and hung up the phone. “Let’s go.”

You and Vernon met on the first day of Medical School and were assigned to the same lab group. Many tried to befriend him to get on the directors good side and Vernon was well aware of that.  It was the main reason why Vernon kept his friend circle tight and you were one of the lucky ones.

You intrigued him with your professionalism and also the fact that you didn’t openly flirt with him like alot of the female med school population did. He liked that you were always striving to do you best and always ended up in the top 1 percentile only second to him.  It was a friendly competition the two of you had and to this day, he would only beat you by the slightest in marks

What he didn’t know was that you were working hard to keep up your grades. You had admitted to yourself long ago that you had crush on Vernon but never thought he’d feel the same way and never acted on your feelings.

“I told you, I can’t go out tonight-” you tried to explain while opening your door but he cut you off.

“I’m helping you study tonight Y/N.” he said stepping inside your room and made himself comfortable on your bed while looking at your exam calendar that you had on your wall. You were fortunate enough to not have a roommate and made good use of the space.

“You don’t have to Vernon….” you said as you put your things away and took out the books you needed to study.

“I know I don’t have to.” he chuckled, “But I want to. Come on, we have a long night ahead of us and I have several take out menu’s in my bag so you can choose what you want for dinner after.”

You smiled at him as he grinned at you, “Are you sure?”

“Sure that I want Chinese tonight? I was thinking more fried chicken…” he said pretending to not know what you were talking about making you roll your eyes.

“The party Vernon, I know it’s the biggest one before finals..”

“And you’re right, finals are important so let’s get the books cracking young lady.” he said taking your closest textbook and handed it to you finally making you give in.

For the next few hours you and Vernon sat on your bed as he helped you review your notes for each class. You were well aware of how close your bodies were getting as you readjusted yourselves to get more comfortable. In the end, you were sitting between his legs as he quizzed you over your shoulder. His breath tickling your ear as he spoke and you could almost feel the brush of his lips on your cheek. You tried not to blush at the almost contact and focussed on your notes.

“Okay, I need a break!” you said lying down as your shirt rode up exposing your mid drift.

Vernon watched as you stretched with a small smile. He knew you were ready for finals and despite lacking the confidence there was no doubt that you’d do well. He looked at his phone to check the time and agreed. It was about time for dinner anyways.

“Are you hungry?” he asked and at the same time your stomach growled causing the two of you to giggle.

“I guess we have our answer.” you said as you held your hands up towards him. “Can you pull me up? I worked out yesterday and I’m still sore.”

Vernon grabbed your hand and pulled you towards him so your faces were only inches apart.

“Thank you,” you said almost breathless from the force of the pull. Your small hand remained pinned under his much larger one behind him but you didn’t bother to try to pull away.

He smirked at you and brought his face closer to yours and tilted his head so your lips almost met. You could feel his breath brush against your lips and if either if you had moved a mere centimeter, your lips would have touched.

“No problem” he whispered before releasing your hand and you pulled away trying to calm your heart, that was threatening to jump out of your chest.

“So…what should we order?” you asked as you hid your face behind the menus so he couldnt see your face.

“Mmmm, I was thinking fried chicken…but if you want something else-” he started saying but you cut him off.

“No fried chicken’s fine” you said looking through the menu. After ordering the food, you went back to reviewing your notes as you continued to calm your beating heart as Vernon went through the various messages he got from his friends who were all at the party.

He looked down at you and smiled, even if his friends were having a blast without him, he was happy that you agreed to let him help you study.  He knew the day would come where he was going to tell you his feelings but also took into consideration that this was your hardest year and the labs and homework came first. As the years went on, Vernon was starting to realize that he was seeing less and less of you. He knew that you were volunteering part time at a local hospital to build up your repertoire and between that and school, you barely had time to meet up with your own friends and he was almost sure that if it weren’t for your best friend Eunwoo; who secretly updated Vernon of your whereabouts from time to time, you would forget to eat.

Once the food arrived, the books were put away and you turned on a movie while the two of you ate in silence till all the food was gone. The movie continued playing and the two of you made yourselves comfortable on your bed promising to get back to the books once it was over.

The weight on Vernon’s shoulder told him otherwise.He looked at you from the corner of his eye and chuckled softly.

“Typical Y/N”

He moved his arm so that it was now wrapped around your shoulder and he gently moved your head so that it was placed in a more comfortable position on his chest.  He decided that he would finish the movie first and then decide what to do after, plus you had studied so hard and deserved the rest and he couldn’t find it in his heart to wake you.

A few hours later, Vernon was getting ready to leave after he tucked you into bed. He found sleeping you so cute that he turned on another movie to savor the moment of having your head on his chest. He tidied around your room before finally picking up his backpack. Leaning down to kiss your forehead he whispered, “I’ll see you after finals are over.”

He knew that once you woke up tomorrow, you’d be on lock down and probably wouldn’t do anything until your last test was done. He was the same way and was preparing for the ones he had himself. He made a mental note to text Eunwoo tomorrow to make sure that you had something to eat or may he would drop by with lunch…yea maybe he’d do that..

Vernon was right though, outside of his and Eunwoo’s periodic drop bys to your room with food and in Vernon’s case, to study more. You did not leave your room willingly until a week later when your last exam was done.

A few weeks later, the results were posted and you fought your way through the crowd of people to see what your marks were.You had a feeling you didn’t do too well this time around, having lost a lot of sleep thinking of a certain Hospital Director’s son and what not but you had to at least done decently right?

As you got to the front, people turned to look at you with shocked faces while others started whispering. Looking up at the results, your jaw dropped.

“Congratulations. I knew you’d do well.” a voice said behind you causing you to whip around and there was Vernon holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand while wearing a smirk on his face.

He took a step towards you, “I was going to wait till after grad…but I really don’t think I can wait that long anymore…” he cleared his throat as he noticed that people had formed a circle around the two of you, “You are one of the hardest working people I know and I know how important becoming a doctor is for you and I had no doubt that you’d top the class this year. My dad even called it when he saw your lab reports but I didn’t believe him until now.”

Vernon looked down, it was now or never. Looking back up at you, his eyes were filled with hope and you couldn’t help but feel the same way. Did this mean…Was he saying what you thought he was going to say?

“I didn’t want to ask you then because I knew we weren’t ready. But I really really can’t wait anymore Y/N. Put me out of my misery, stitch up my heart and be mine….please?”

The next thing you knew, your arms were around his neck holding him tightly as he lifted you off the ground and spun you around as howls from whom you assumed were from Vernon’s friends were heard off in the distance.

Once he put you down you both let out a breath.

“So is that a yes?” he asked and you nodded making him grin.

“Good, cause then I can do this and not care that anyones looking.” he said leaning down and gently placed his lips on yours and suddenly the world melted away and you actually felt like the stress of exams were finally worth it.

You were in the arms of a man who would mend you up whenever you were down and burnt out but he was also the man who would be your rock throughout your career and sure, things wouldn’t be perfect but you wouldn’t want another doctor taking care of you either way.

-Anna

[mylonelyangel]

Good Omens: A Study in Comedy

A couple years ago in my senior year of high school, my English teacher had told us for our last essay of the year, to pick any novel by any notable author, and write about it. I picked Good Omens cause i happened to be reading it at the time, but this essay was legit the most fun I’ve ever had writing an essay. I figured with the show coming out at @neil-gaiman being on tumblr, I might as well post it here were people might enjoy it.

Its about why Good Omens is successful as a comedy. It’s kinda long so it’s gonna go beneath a cut. But yeah here it is. (Also apologies for the formatting I cant figure out how to make this thing readable. rn it looks a lot better on desktop than mobile. Any suggestions on that are welcome)

---

In the world of entertainment-- be that film, TV, literature, etc. -- comedy is hard. It’s hard to act, it’s hard to write, and it takes real talent to do comedy well. Often, comedy goes underappreciated in the professional world; however, Good Omens seems to be an exception. In writing the forward to their book, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman describe the many well-read and deteriorating copies of Good Omens that they have had the pleasure of signing. From books dropped in bathtubs and puddles, to pages being held together by packing tape, clearly, the book is well loved by many. The unique quality of this novel is that rather than a “laugh-out-loud” humor, Pratchett and Gaiman aimed for a more subtle, ironic humor adding up to a satire that teaches a lesson on the importance of humanity and compassion. All in all, Good Omens is a delightfully witty and entertaining book that is sure to please any avid reader.

---

Biography

It was the year 1989 when Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett decided to combine efforts in writing Good Omens. At the time, Gaiman was 29. He was born in Hampshire UK in 1960 and grew up frequently visiting his local library, developing a life-long love for reading. After briefly pursuing a career in journalism, he soon became interested in writing comic books. The Sandman is one of Gaiman’s most notable graphic novel works. It won several awards including three Harvey Awards, nine Will Eisner Comic Industry Awards, and the 1991 World Fantasy Award for Best Short Story, becoming the first comic to every receive a literary award.  After gaining this success, Gaiman has gone on to expand his resume by working in film and television. He’s written and directed two films: A Short Film About John Bolton (2002) and Statueque (2009). Most recently, Gaiman is writing for the television series adaption of his book, American Gods, set to premier on April 30, 2017 on Starz.

Gaiman’s writing companion, Terry Pratchett, was born in Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire in 1948. He had a passion for writing from a young age, publishing his first story, “The Hades Business” in his school magazine at age thirteen. Four years later at age seventeen, Pratchett dropped out of school to pursue journalism. It was in this line of work that he came into contact with his first publisher, Colin Smythe, and through him published his first book in 1971, The Carpet People. Smythe remained a close friend of Pratchett and in 1983 published the first book of Pratchett’s phenomenally successful series: Discworld. At this time, Pratchett worked for the Central Electricity Generating Board as a press officer. Four books into his Discworld series, Pratchett decided to become a full time writer. After a long and successful career, unfortunately in 2007 Pratchett was diagnosed with a rare form of Alzheimer’s called Posterior Cortical Atrophy. He lived the last years of his life very well; in 2009, he was knighted by the Queen for his services to literature and in 2013 he presented a documentary discussing the controversial topic of assisted dying. Terry Pratchett: Choosing to Die won both an Emmy and a BAFTA. Despite campaigning for assisted dying, Terry did not choose to take his own life and died peacefully surrounded by family in March 2015.

----

Extended Analysis

The comedy collaboration Good Omens has been deemed by many to be a great novel. Critics praise the unique blend of writing styles for making this novel a success, but to understand what makes the comedic genius of Good Omens, one must ask what precisely makes it funny. This novel is a satire; it comments on existentialist ideas surrounding humanity and the responsibility humans have over their own actions for better or for worse. In order to emphasize their novel as an unexpectedly witty and socially relevant satire, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett use several literary devices such as repetition, mood, and irony. In a remarkable world belonging to angels and demons who wish to bring about the apocalypse, the air of abnormality must be maintained throughout the novel; comedy only follows naturally.  

In order to emphasize the absurdity of the events in Good Omens, the authors often used repetition in describing people or events. Given that this book revolves around the events of Armageddon, absurdity is not hard to come by; it is precisely what enforces the satire nature of the novel. For instance, the Antichrist is first described to the reader as “a golden haired male baby we will call the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of this World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness” (Gaiman 27). Not only does the baby have this long list of titles, but he is referred to as such several more times in the next few pages. This description is a means to bring attention to the oddness of the situation and the repetition serves to emphasize it. Another interesting use of repetition is a scene in which the events of the evening are being narrated by an irritable man named R. P. Tyler; a man who not only believes himself to be the sole decider of right and wrong in the world, but that it is his responsibility to pronounce his wisdom unto others via the letter column of the Tadfield Adviser. This man is the epitome of arrogant old men and on the afternoon of Armageddon, finds himself directing several parties of odd people to the same location. In the eyes of the reader, all of the characters introduced thus far are arriving to the small English town of Tadfield for the start of the apocalypse. The events are rumored to take place at the Lower Tadfield Air Base and in succession, R. P. Tyler encounters four groups of people going to the Airfield within a span of 30 minutes (Gaiman 325-336). The result is a comedic effect that brings all separate storylines back to the same page. The repetition of events is what brought to R. P. Tyler’s attention to the odd occurrences in Tadfield. As the man met group after group, he quickly becomes more flustered and his figurative bubble of normality is cracking until Crowley’s arrival: “There was a large once-black car on fire in the lane and a man in sunglasses was leaning out the window, saying through the smoke “I’m sorry, I’ve managed to get a little lost. Can you direct me to the Lower Tadfield Air Base? I know it’s around here somewhere”” (Gaiman 334). One can safely say that after this event, R. P. Tyler no longer has a figurative bubble of normality.

---

One of the highlights of Good Omens is the comical language in which it is written, setting an air for the absurd to be normalized and the mundane to receive an exaggerated retelling. An ambiance of abnormality is maintained throughout the entire novel through methods of over-explaining minute details. For instance, as the first proceedings of Armageddon are set into motion, the scene is set with the following depiction:

“It wasn’t a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but that’s the weather for you. For every mad scientist who’s had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who’s sat around aimlessly under the peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime” (Gaiman 14).

This description of the setting contributes to a lighthearted mood despite the impending apocalypse. It feels as though the authors are making polite conversation as the story progresses, and this style of writing is used throughout the novel. Later on, a scene occurs in which a demon kills a room full of telemarketers and the aftermath is described as follows: “. . . a wave of low-grade goodness started to spread exponentially through the population and millions of people who ultimately would not have suffered minor bruises of the soul did not in fact do so” (Gaiman 308). The elegance in which that sentence is written gives the reader a sense of understanding in that the authors are not technically wrong in their description. The line is satirical and for many readers, felt on a personal level. The witty line does not fail in upholding the absurd and exceedingly nonchalant atmosphere. This style brings to light underlying truths of humanity that one may not acknowledge in a day to day basis, but are true nonetheless. Through this recognition of distinctly human emotions and struggles, Gaiman and Pratchett succeed in creating an engaging environment in which the reader is both reflective and entertained by their story.

---

The irony in Good Omens lies within the ongoing discussion of humanity and the importance of free will. As Heaven and Hell prepare for Armageddon, the key to its commencement lies in the hands of the Antichrist. However, the Antichrist ends up being much more human than either side predicted. As usual, the demon Crowley and angel Aziraphale come to this conclusion long before their superiors:

““Because if I know anything,” said Crowley urgently, “it’s that the birth is just the start. It’s the upbringing that’s important. It’s the influences. Otherwise it will never learn to use its powers.” . . .

“You’re saying the child isn’t evil of itself?” [Aziraphale] said slowly.

“Potentially evil.  Potentially good, too, I suppose. Just this huge powerful potentiality, waiting to be shaped.” said Crowley” (Gaiman 58).  

Given that Adam the Antichrist grew up in the absence of any supernatural influence, he naturally became a very pure and innocent child who only wanted save the environment and read conspiracy theory magazines. In fact, unaware of his power and heritage, he was involuntarily at fault for the rise of Atlantis and the visitations of aliens. His deep love for the planet also allowed for his subconscious to grow rain forests in the thick of cities and to turn 500 tons of Uranium into a lemon drop. In a book that satirizes the meanings of good and evil, it is very ironic that the Antichrist has the greatest amount of love to give. As observed by local witch, Anathema: “Something or someone loves this place. Loves every inch of it so powerfully that it shields and protects it. A deep-down, huge, fierce love. How can anything bad start here?” (Gaiman 229). It is reiterated several times throughout the book that humans are their own worst enemy. They are the ones who have free will, therefore they choose whether to act good or evil. Demons and angels have no choice in this respect. Gaiman and Pratchett make clear to their audience that humans must value their free will, spread love and live life to its fullest. If the Antichrist can do it, so can you.

---

When reflecting on the comedic success of Good Omens, one can conclude that Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett are masters at their craft. This wonderfully composed work of fiction succeeds in satirizing the inner workings of human nature in that the supernatural can do no worse to humans than humans already do to themselves. Stylistically, Gaiman and Pratchett create a casual environment that highlights the absurd events by using techniques such as irony, mood, and repetition. The result is a clever and profound lesson on the importance of love in the human experience taught not by those who are human, but those who act with the most humanity.

[goat--ish]

Probs not a proper one-shot

I’m not really part of the fandom so come and take this nonsense from my clammy hands, please.

It was funny to write this even tho it probs makes no sense and has like 0 consistency but I tried (and laughed all the way to the end). Main two ideas come from @kkrazy256  (Kaito taking photos from himself) and @ninthfeather (Kaito knowing about the “Shinichi is Kid” theory) (+ an anon)

It’s kinda long so Imma put it after a read more or whatever. Also, sorry if it cant be read, english is hard

Kaito loved having so much attention. He craved it every time he went on a heist and people -his audience- would be there, waiting for him and his magic.

He loved the idea of having fans and having people wonder about his tricks with every heist. There was something so addictive about it and he wasn't even going to reflect on why he needed someone's attention so much, on why he desired it with almost every fiber of his body.

He was a thief, or that was how the police call him. He wasn't even sure himself since everything he had taken had been returned a few days later, maybe he didn't have to keep something and the act of taking it by force was what made a thief, well, a thief. Still, there was the fact that he didn't keep any of the jewels and, even when her mother was sending him money pretty often, he was a teenager living alone that made the occasional and normal bad choice to buy something expensive leaving him without money to pay for electricity or water, and also a famous thief that needed lot's of materials to actually do some acceptable magic tricks to entertain HIS people.

Maybe he had Aoko helping him with the food and the old man did most of the planning for the heists -and got most of the things Kaito needed-, but he needed money and didn't have the courage to ask for more to his mom. He did say he was going to be Kid with so much confidence, he felt like asking for more help would be cheating.

So yeah, he needed money.

The idea had occurred to him a few times but it wasn't until he checked the news of his last heist that struck him that it might be a good one. Kaito knew the heist hadn't been his best one and was nervous to see what his critics and audience was saying about it. Had it been as bad as he thought? Hadn't he been as astonish as he wanted to be?

Of course, the police was bragging his good work to the world, how the police were so awesome that they stopped Kid from getting the diamond he was after. What caught his attention was the comments section at the very end of the article, where some of his fans were complaining that Kid deserved that diamond even if his game wasn't as good as other occasions.

That was a bullet to the heart and if it wasn't for that one comment he would have gone to sleep for the next three day, feeling depressed and guilty. Between the madness that was the comment section, there was one comment of how someone not just wanted, but was ready to pay and kill for a good photo of his favorite phantom thief.

Kaito had seen the insane amount of photos people had taken of Kid during the last years, most of them being just blurry figures or a stain of white between too much light. There was the occasional photo taken by a professional but even those were images of Kid being too far away to have a proper look to his suit.

The idea was too good to let it slide and never do something about it. Of course, he wasn't so sure about it but his ego wouldn't shut up about how people would love a proper photo of Kid, of him. That's why the next heist he made sure to not only prepare everything he needed to steal the jewel but also prepared a few cameras on strategic spots that he was sure would take his best angle.

At the end of the night, Kaito had the jewels and a dozen of photos that didn't quite looked like he wanted. They were dynamic and definitely made Kid look as awesome and handsome as he felt but there was something bothering him and didn't know what.

It was until he got to his house that it clicked.

The photos were great but the quality of the camera made them look fake, or almost fake as if it was someone cosplaying and not the real phantom thief.

Perhaps it was better that way, wouldn't it be too much of a joke if The Kid was taking photos of himself to sell them? It was a silly thought now that he considered all the things that could go wrong with that, so this was perfect.

So he logged in with a temporary account in a definitely trashy webpage and put a price tag to the photos, still unsure if this would be a good idea. The first hour he got an incredible number of five comments, five people telling him that the photos were fantastic but that they were too broke to purchase any of them.

Three hours after, Kaito was still in front of his computer feeling dumb because no one else had shown any interest. He was ready to delete the post when he got his first client.

It was his first sell so he wasn't as cautious as he normally was. The person was happy to give him money and he was as happy to receive it, so the process was pretty normal but at the end of it, Kaito felt his ego go up a few hundred times. Someone had purchased one of his photos and gave him a tip. This was a good idea, he could feel it.

And that's how he started entering the same webpage over and over again, selling his photos and slowly gaining fame between the usual users and even others that came into de webpage just to buy a photo from him. Of course, he took more precautions so he couldn't be found and still get the money.

Every time there was a heist, people would go directly to the page, knowing that the mysterious photographer would put at least a bunch of photos and would delete them after three hours, going into hiding until the next time Kid appeared. Until he didn't.

After months of doing the same, Kaito thought of something that was so painfully obvious and was surprised that he didn't think of it before. People thought he was a specially good cosplayer and others thought of him as a really sneaky photographer, and even when there were a few people that considered him suspicious there was nothing they could use to prove he was the real thief. So what was stopping him from going to a dark alley and take photos of himself dressed in Kid's suit and sell those? Just his lack of brain cells, he thought.

So he did that. Kaito took a camera, went to the highest place he could find so the city and the moon could be seen on the background and took as many photos as he could of himself doing magic tricks, possing and being overly flashy for the camera, thinking of how much his fans would love to see these.

A lot of his usual clients, the ones that always made sure to buy him at least one photo every time he appeared, lost it when he announced that he would open a permanent account so he could sell those pictures.

It was entertaining, to say the least. He was getting a little more money and was able to get out more with Aoko to show how grateful he was for always been there for him (not that he would tell her that).

Still, Kaito didn't come into real contact with his fans until the day one of his usual clients told him they used the photo as a cover for a fanfic which, to his surprise, was getting famous inside the fandom. Curious as he was and wanting to bust his ego a little more, Kaito made the conscious decision to read the whole thing at 2 a.m. which was a monster of 45,000 words, two side fics of 20,000 each one, and a one shot with the alternative ending for the main fic.

He didn't sleep for four days.

Yeah, the story had many mistakes of what really happened during the preparation stage of a heist and Kaito was sure he wasn't a middle age man with a mansion and copious amounts of money, but he was, in fact, as awesome, handsome, and cool as the author wrote him and was willing to read more.

He felt silly sitting in front of his computer in search of stories about him from the point of view of complete strangers. Kaito could feel his cheeks heat up while reading the titles of some of the stories he found on a new webpage.

Was he being too narcissistic? When was too much? And why were there so many stories of him with Shinichi Kudo as secondary protagonist?

Kaito felt irritated at the sight of that name. Why was the detective on so many fanfics that were supposed to be about Kid? He scrolled down, finding more and more about the detective and himself on so many fictional worlds. Somehow he felt betrayed by his fans.

It took him five more web pages and three hours to understand why his fans had betrayed him that way, and it was a hilarious reason, to be honest. Most people knew how often the phantom thief had dressed up as the detective so a lot had come up with the theory that he, Kaito Kid was, in fact, the young detective Shinichi Kudo.

Wasn't that fucked up or what?

There was a fair amount of people that wrote about them because they had confronted each other several times, but most of them believed with all their might that Kid was the detective and, even when he laughed out loud on the privacy of his room at 1 a.m., Kaito also felt as if he was being robbed of something. He wasn't sure of what yet, but he made a mental note to torture a little bit more the detective the next time he saw him for stealing... something?

Yeah, no. Scratch that. He wasn't going to do anything stupid on a heist just because of a bunch of people that couldn't see that Kaito Kid was way too cool to be that detective. What he did do was to enter the thread and create mayhem between the users on the chat for a few hours.

And it became a daily thing, which didn't make things easier for Kaito because now he wasn't only a teenager that was trying to not fail school because he forgot to do homework or a famous phantom thief in search of a miraculous diamond, now he was a famous (well, maybe not famous but recognized inside the fandom) photographer, an avid reader of his fans' stories (he wasn't even going to deny how narcissistic that was, but the kids could be really good at their fantasies and he wanted to see more of it) and a troll that couldn't keep one damn user name because the wars he started were that intense, and yeah, he needed a break or something.

However, he would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying himself. Yeah, maybe Aoko kept telling him to stop going to sleep to untold hours of the night because he was starting to look like a real-life zombie, but it was so worth it to see people trying to take his "Do you think Kid uses women underwear?" and "I have proof that Shinichi Kudo is a loser" threads seriously and ending up on wars that lasted at least a week.

To be fair, while a fair amount of people just wanted Shinichi to be the phantom thief for the drama and the angst, there were a few users that actually had good arguments while discussing the theory. They weren't as good as some of the arguments that Kaito could think of but were reasonable enough to shut up the chat for a few minutes before anyone saying something else.

Weeks of being on those types of forums made him develop a weird respect and admiration for those users that came into the madness willingly and tried to put order in hell. It was something he crushed almost daily but it was something impressive to see.

That's why the day he was trolling an especially cocky one, he felt... weird.

The kid was being way too smart, they didn't have the confidence of a hardcore fan or a know-it-all gal, they talked as if they knew of what they were talking and that made Kaito feel vulnerable for the first time in his new happy place. Most of the time the users would have an excellent logic but lots of errors in their final answers; this person didn't give long answers like the others but everything they had said on the last twenty minutes was right and that made him paranoid.

It wasn't the first time he ended a conversation with the old and trusty "Bold of you to assume I can read", but it was the first time he did when he still had time to kill.

That kid... It wasn't only that everything had been right but some of those things were things that no normal person could know, they had to been there to know those types of things, so now Kaito was locked in his room wondering with a nervous smile who in the police force was wasting their afternoons rambling against little kids on the internet?

Kaito laughed a little with the thought. No, he didn't count, he was there to follow his fans and his fans only, he could stop whenever he wanted, he didn't ramble against twelve-year-old kids like a loser... Ok, he did, but he did it to get a laugh out of it and never in a serious way, so who was the clown that was doing it and why hasn't he saw them before?

He turned off his computer and got out of his bedroom, determined to let the topic slide for this time and go to Aoko's house to see if he could annoy her a little more before dinner, not knowing that he left Shinichi looking at the screen of his phone with irritation at the stupid answer the troll gave him. The detective decided he had had enough internet for a day and returned to the book in his lap, at least that was better than the nonsense he had seen for the last twenty minutes.

[tonystarkbingo]

Week 11 Roundup!  Another fourteen squares filled this week, and many more anticipated for next week after our monthly Discord party!

Title: Quiet Moments Before the End Collaborator: newnewyorker93 Link: AO3 Square Filled: A2 - image of Tony from “When I drift off” trailer Ship: Pepperony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Endgame trailer spoilers, hurt/comfort, protective Pepper Summary: The Tony & Pepper reunion hug from the Endgame trailer and what came after, told mostly from Pepper's perspective. Word Count: 2949

Title: Midsummer Afternoon Collaborator: SierraNovembr Link: AO3 Square Filled: S1 -  KINK: masturbation Ship: WinterIron Rating: Mature Major Tags: fantasy AU, voyeurism, skinny dipping, secret relationship Summary: Tony came slowly awake. The sound of the water and smell of honeysuckle swirling around him nearly tugged him back to his pleasant doze. There was a rustling below him in the small clearing, and a distinct humming that Tony would recognize half-dead. He leaned over the branch, staying well within the shady cover of the leaves, to spy the culprit. Word Count: 2977

Title: Rock a suit Collaborator: HogwartsToAlexandria Link: AO3 Square Filled: R4 -  Misunderstandings Ship: IronStrange Rating: Teen Major Tags: fluff, first kiss, bedsharing Summary: Inspired by a tumblr post by Beemotionpicture: Stephen, sleeping over: u cant take the couch ill take the couch  Stephen: no what   Stephen: what do u mean,  Stephen: sh-share the bed   Stephen: ? Word Count: 658

Title: Coming Together (Falling Apart) - Chapter One Collaborator: Iron_Eirlyssa (Eirlyssa) Link: AO3 Square Filled: T1 - Prisoners/captives together Ship: none Rating: Teen Major Tags: protective team, Avengers family, hurt Tony, implied/referenced torture Summary: Steve wasn't quite sure how to get out of this situation, but he did figure their best chance was if they did it together. Not everyone seems to agree with that. Word Count: 2169

Title: Understated Warmth Collaborator: FreyaS Link: AO3 Square Filled: A3 - free square Ship: WinterIron Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content, PWP, friends with benefits Summary: They’d been meeting up for months and never asked any questions. As far as Tony knew, he was having sex with a sex god with the coolest prosthetic he’d ever seen. They’d first met at a shitty dive bar with horrible music and the scent of stale smoke on every chair Tony had sat on. Bucky - and Tony could hardly believe he was sleeping with a man who called himself Bucky - had not been the first man to talk to him at the bar, but he had been the first one to march over and tell Tony that he couldn’t monopolize the jukebox with AC/DC songs. One thing had led to another and several drinks later, they’d been exchanging handjobs in the bathroom. (Or Tony and Bucky have a friends with benefit relationship. There's fisting and a surprising amount of feelings for a story that's 99% porn) Word Count: 5253

Title: Connected Collaborator: martianwahtney Link: AO3 Square Filled: T1 - image of Tony and suit on Harley’s couch Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: Sassy Harley, Maya Hansen as Harley’s mom, secrets Summary: The last thing Harley Keener needs when he's home alone is someone breaking into his garage, even if it is Iron Man. A few white lies, a broken water tower, and number of panic attacks later, Harley's life flips upside down. Word Count: 2543

Title: Torn By What We've Done And Can't Undo - Chapter 2 Collaborator: Politzania Link: AO3 Square Filled: K3 - Desert Island Ship: none Rating: Teen Major Tags: not really character death, Civil War fix-it Summary: Taken to a remote location, and placed under the care of Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes learns why Tony Stark came for him. Word Count: 3646

Title: Cheaper Than Therapy Collaborator: monobuu Link: AO3 Square Filled: S4 -  Mission Gone Wrong Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: no powers AU, kidfic Summary: Bucky goes grocery shopping with his two sons and hilarity ensues. Word Count: 1994

Title: Take My Hand (Don't Fear the Reaper) Collaborator: dracusfyre Link: AO3 Square Filled: R1 - crossover Ship: WinterIron Rating: Not Rated Major Tags: no powers AU, character turned into ghost Summary: For the ITAB prompt: After Afghanistan tony became a part-time grim reaper assigned to the winter soldier, since Bucky has a messed up head he can see tony. Word Count: 1928

Title: He’ll be fine, I’m sure. Collaborator: hereandnowwearealive Link: Tumblr Square Filled: S1 -  art format: postcard Ship: implied Pepperony Rating: Gen Major Tags: art, Spiderman: Far From Home trailer spoilers Summary: postcard for Peter from Tony

Title: Hidden Winter Collaborator: cami-chats Link: AO3 Square Filled: A2 - Riri Williams Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: identity porn, secret identity, relationship issues, hopeful ending Summary: Tony thinks he has a pretty great life post-Iron Man. Riri's got everything nicely in hand, but he gets worried about Bucky. Bucky hates that he's keeping his Winter Soldier identity secret, but he thinks that he's in too deep to get out. Word Count: 4027

Title: Freedom in These Bonds - Chapter 3 Collaborator: 27dragons Link: AO3 Square Filled: K3 -  Winter Soldier / Bucky Barnes Ship: WinterIron Rating: Explicit Major Tags: A/B/O, arrange marriage, explicit sexual content Summary: Tony’s been accepted to M.I.T., which only admits a small percentage of omegas each year. He can’t wait to get there, to stretch his intellect and broaden his horizons. There’s only one small wrinkle: omega students have to be married. Word Count: 14,158

Title: call the minions (fire up the lab) -  Chapter 2: In which Tony continues to make questionable decisions and Rhodey despairs Collaborator: calmena Link: AO3 Square Filled: A3 - free space Ship: WinterIron Rating: Mature Major Tags: preslash, crack treated seriously Summary: When Reed Richards turns down Tony's help in a fight against Dr. Doom, Tony knows what the next step has to be: he needs his own personal supervillain. And who else should respond to his request but the Winter Soldier, who cannot watch a dumbass risk his life without trying to interfere? Word Count: 3040

Title: Together (like the old man said) - Chapter 2 Collaborator: MarvelousMenagerie (HiddenOne) Link: AO3 Square Filled: T5 Ship: Stony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: dubious consent, explicit sexual content, mutual pining, eventual communication Summary: Steve wants to convince Tony that he has place on the Avengers team, even after what happened with Ultron. Steve’s convincing goes sideways given some accidental magic on Wanda’s part, but Steve and Tony don’t know about magical interference until after they have their steamy encounter in the elevator. They manage to talk it out - eventually. Word Count: 6059

Title: Icy Hearts Collaborator: ethereal-lullabies Link: Tumblr Square Filled: A1 - fairytales (last year’s bingo round) Ship: FrostIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: moodboard

Title: Take this Job (And Shove it Out the Airlock) - Chapter 2 Collaborator: tisfan Link: AO3 Square Filled: R2 -  quarantined! Ship: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags: Space Opera, non-consensual drug use, Sci-fi AU Summary: So... Tony meets his co-worker and it goes about as well as can be expected. Also, Tony doesn’t like being told what to do. We knew that, right? I mean, like, we all knew that. Word Count: 3402

[polk-a-dop]

The variations of the canon of Sherlock Holmes

This is my very overdue essay I wrote last year on the variations of the canon of Sherlock Holmes. It should just be under the cut, and Im very sorry to mobile users who dont get a cut and just have the full post.

Why am I posting this now? Because i remembered about it and I wanted to share it before the 17th.

Thank you to everyone that helped with my research, mostly by just doing my survey and blogging it so more people could answer it. I would tag you all but I either cant remember who shared it or I dont want to annoy you.

The variations of the canon of Sherlock Holmes

My EPQ is about the different adaptations and variations that exist of the canon of Sherlock Holmes, the canon is the 56 short stories and 4 novels that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote, why they exist and other adaptations and interpretations that could be seen in the future. For this I am classing works that are almost identical to some of the canon as adaptations alongside works that follow on or show a different story from the original canon, along with this I will also mention works which have been clearly influenced by the original canon but these are not included as being adaptations of the canon. I have chosen to do this topic for my EPQ as I am very interested in the canon and variations of the Sherlock Holmes stories and feel as though there will be a lot of variations to write about as the canon has been around for over 130 years.

The original author, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, was a Scottish born British writer that is mainly known for writing about the fictional character Sherlock Holmes from 1887 to 1893 and 1903 to 1927. The gap that is present from 1893 to 1903 is because Doyle attempted to kill of the character in “The Final Problem” as he felt burnt out and tired of writing about the same characters and wanted to focus on his other writing which mainly consisted of historical novels, he later brought the character back in 1903, ten years after he originally killed the character, in “The Empty House” as he no longer felt as burnt out as he previously did and he was also offered a large amount of money per story he subsequently wrote.He also wrote about the character Sherlock Holmes in “The Field Bazaar” which was originally published in 1896 to help raise money for the University of Edinburgh and is sadly not considered part of the canon, and then again in his 1901 novel “The Hound of the Baskervilles” which, due to how the public and publishers received it,  then lead to Holmes’ return in 1903. During the time that Holmes was killed Doyle also wrote several short stories which do not explicitly mention Holmes or the characters in Holmes’ universe but two of them,“The Lost Special” and “The Man with the Watches”, are implied to be Sherlock Holmes stories as they involve an unnamed detective and are written in a similar style to the other Holmes stories, because of this these implied stories are not included in the canon. In 1921 Doyle also wrote “The Crown Diamond: An Evening with Sherlock Holmes” which is a one act play and is almost identical to his short story titled “The Adventure of the Mazarin Stone”, the play is also not included in the canon although the short story is, another work that is sadly not included in the canon is a very short story titled “How Watson Learned the Trick” which is a total of 503 words which was written for Queen Mary's dolls' house and involves Watson attempting to show Holmes his own deduction skills.

Ever since the first few short stories about Sherlock Holmes and Dr John Watson were written people have been hooked and the Sherlock Holmes fandom was created, despite there being two Sherlock novels already written and published before the short stories people didn't quite take to the character until the shorts were written. The fanbase surrounding the character continued to grow at such speed that by the 26th installment of the canon in 1893, titled “The Final Problem” in which Holmes dies, society was acting as though it were a real death by dressing in mourning and wearing black armbands to commemorate the detective, obituaries were also published in newspapers and multiple people also canceled their subscription to The Stand which published the Holmes stories at the time. To society's delight  Doyle brought Holmes back in order to create the other 34 works in the canon. Some suggest that Holmes was originally so popular in the Victorian era because the general public were able to relate to the stories because of their representations of Victorian society including all the good and bad qualities. It can also be suggested that Holmes was portrayed as a true Victorian gentleman which would have aided in success of the canon, along with how it is never fully known how Holmes fits into the class system that was present at the time as he can’t simply be thought of as ‘upper class’ because he needed Watson to help pay the rent in the property they shared but he also can’t be thought of as being part of the ‘working class’ because of the lifestyle he leads.

Despite their being 60 canon works and 4 non canon works by Doyle that did not stop the public's demand for more Sherlock Holmes which has, over the course of the past 130+ years, caused there to then be multiple sequels, pastiches, imitations, plays, movies, TV shows and over 100,000 fan created works following the story of the detective. Most of these adaptations have been made because the creators of them felt a strong connection to the original series and wanted to either update it or add their own little changes to the canon the most notable change is the addition of Holmes trademark deerstalker and cloak which despite never being mentioned in the canon appear in the illustrations drawn by Sidney Paget that went along with the canon when it was originally published. Following on from this some of the other adaptations were even created whilst Doyle himself was still alive and writing more Holmes stories, in this particular instance Doyle had just written a Holmes based play that ended up being rewritten by William Gillette who asked Doyle “May I marry Holmes?” to which Doyle replied “You may marry him, or murder or do what you like with him.” which is now a rather famous quote regarding changing Doyle's work and is often brought up in a response to those people who believe Doyle would not agree with some of the changes done to the canon such as Watson becoming a woman or Holmes being set in 21st century London. Despite this their are always gaps between when new adaptations are created because the public will have lost interest in the canon itself or creating an adaptation of it. The most recent resurface of the public's interest in Sherlock Holmes began in 2009 with the release of the RDJ(Robert Downey Jr) film aptly titled Sherlock Holmes, since then RDJ has starred in sequel to that film and two wildly popular TV shows have been created titled Sherlock in 2010 and Elementary in 2012.

The first film series containing Sherlock Holmes was a collection of 5 films released in 1931-37 starring Arthur Wontner as Holmes. They were titled ‘The Sleeping Cardinal’ which was based on ‘The Final Problem’ and ‘The Adventure of the Empty House’, ‘The Missing Rembrandt’ which was based on ‘The Adventure of Charles Augustus Milverton’, ‘The Sign of Four:Sherlock Holmes’ Greatest Case’ which was based on ‘The Sign of the Four’, ‘The Triumph of Sherlock Holmes’ which was based on ‘The Valley of Fear’, and ‘Silver Blaze’ which was based on ‘The Adventure of the Silver Blaze’ and ‘The Hound of the Baskervilles’. These films and their success would have likely contributed to the creation of the Basil Rathbone film series which was released from 1939-46 which what most likely introduced a new generation of people to the Sherlock Holmes series and has also gone on to be the influence of more modern adaptations. The Rathbone series consists of 14 different Holmes based films only two of which are following Holmes in Victorian London. The first film in the series titled ‘The Hound of the Baskervilles’ and the second film in the series titles ‘The adventures of Sherlock Holmes’ is based on the play Sherlock Holmes written by William Gillette. The rest of the films are set in World War II London as they were being produced during the second World War, this means that the Rathbone series was one of the first series to adapt the Sherlock Holmes canon to the modern day equivalent at the time. Another notable film series is the RDJ adaptations which are also set in Victorian London, although their are only two films in this series it is quite likely the most well known Holmes series out of the three, according to my survey 88 out of the 97 people that answered that question have heard of the adaptation and a further 67 people have watched the adaptation. The RDJ series is as popular is it is because it has been released in the last decade, ‘Sherlock Holmes’ in 2009 and ‘Sherlock Holmes:A game of shadows’ in 2011, which means that t has had more of a world wide reach in both release and advertising than the other two series. This series in particular first follows Holmes take on a new case but has elements drawn from the original series and the second film also mainly follows a new case but has more prominent elements from the original canon such as the character Moriarty and the fate of Holmes at the end of the film. There is also supposed to be a third installment in the series but it is unknown when it will be released, if it does get produced it will most likely follow the same main cast on another new case but will still contain elements of the canon series.

Alongside the three main film series there have been several standalone film adaptations made of the original canon. Some of the most notable of these standalone films are ‘The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes’ which was released in 1970 contains a rather convoluted new case for Holmes but also shows some of Holmes and Watson's personal life which the writer has embellished upon such as Holmes being written as a rather ambiguous gay man. ‘Young Sherlock Holmes’ which was released in 1985 and shows Holmes and Watson meeting at a young age in boarding school and the rest of the story is fairly original but contains some aspects from four of the original canon stories, ‘The Great Mouse Detective’ which is inspired by the Rathbone series but is actually an adaptation of a book called ‘Basil of Baker Street’ which was inspired by the original canon, the film was released in 1986 and was made by Disney which causes this to be some people's favourite childhood film, the main character named Basil, which is a play on Basil Rathbone, and contains several references to the canon stories and includes a clip of Rathbone as Sherlock. And finally ‘Mr Holmes’ which was released much later in 2015 and follows an elderly Holmes, played by Sir Ian McKellen, trying to remember and solve his last case, it is also set in 1947 30 years after Holmes retired. This film is also and adaptation of a book titled ‘A Slight Trick of the Mind’ which is  continuation of the canon Holmes character. The majority of the film adaptations were released during the 63 year gap between the final film in the Rathbone series and the first film in the RDJ series, and as shown by ‘The Great Mouse Detective’ the Rathbone series was still inspiring films and new adaptations at least 40 years after its last installment.

Continuing from the film adaptations many different TV variations have been made that are either adaptations of the canon or have been inspired by the original canon. There are several notable TV variations the earliest of which is from 1954-1955 and is simply titled ‘Sherlock Holmes’ and stared Ronald Howard as Sherlock Holmes. This series ran for only one season that consisted of 39 half hour episodes, the series was primarily made up of new stories but some episodes were adaptations from the original canon with some slight changes. This series was also the first american TV adaptation of the original canon, the second american adaptation is ‘Elementary’.

The next adaptation is titled ‘The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes’ which ran from 1984-1994 and starred Jeremy Brett and Sherlock Holmes. As this series ran for ten year it is very likely that it introduced a generation to the original canon, in my survey 68 of the 97 responses said that they had heard of this series, 42 of the 68 said they had watched the series and 27 people said that it was their favourite adaptation. The series itself ran for 9 seasons and had 41 episodes in which it covered most of the original canon. Brett also starred in a play titled ‘The Secret of Sherlock Holmes’ which was written specifically in response to the TV series.

The next series is not a full adaptation of the original canon but is instead heavily influenced by it, it is titled ‘House’ and is an american TV show which ran from 2004 to 2012 and had 8 seasons with a total of 177 episodes the series also featured Hugh Laurie as Dr Gregory House, it was set in the modern day of the time and often followed House treat his hospital patients. The way House diagnoses his patients is similar to the way Holmes solves his cases, along with this House’s apartment is 21B and he suffers from an addiction to prescription painkillers much like how Holmes suffered from a drug addiction. House also has a friend called Dr James Wilson which is very similar to Dr John Watson, who has been referred to as James in the original canon. Along with these there are some direct references to the original canon, for example the patent in the pilot had the name Adler like Irene Adler, the man that shoots House is credited as Moriarty and the last episode of the series is a homage to the canon and how Holmes faked his own death. In my survey 79 out of 97 people said that they had hear of House and 54 of the 79 said they had watched it and a further 11 people said that House was their favorite ‘adaptation’ of the canon. I think that this is because this series is more modern than the previously mentioned ones and has benefited from the rise of social media and advertising, much like the RDJ film series, that the older series did not have. This series also could appeal to a much broader audience than the older series as it is only influenced by Sherlock Holmes and not a full adaptation of it.

The following series is titled ‘Sherlock’ and has ran so far from 2010 to 2017 and it stars Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes. This series is predominantly based in the modern day with the exception of one Christmas special titled ‘The Abominable Bride’ which is primarily based in Victorian London with the exception of a few scenes. This series has 4 seasons with a total of 13 episodes with a length of 90 minutes, including the special, these 13 episodes are primarily based on the original canon stories with the exception of the newer season which contains elements of the original canon but mainly follows its own plot line, the writers have also included several of their own characters to develop the series more with the modern age. Along with the TV series the creators have also technically produced a total of four tie-in websites, one of them is a diary of the character Molly Hooper, one is the official website of Connie Prince, one is the blog of Dr John Watson that is actively mentioned and was updated along side episodes with the exception of the newest season in which the blog was no longer updated and Sherlock Holmes own website. After the release of the second episode of the fourth season the character of Sherlock Holmes took to the social media outlet twitter via the BBC one account and had fans on the site help him solve a case of a dead man, the character also had an opportunity to correspond to fans on the site also, this then lead to a fan creating an account for the character and has been active on the account since.The writers and creators of the show have also stated in an interview that The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes inspired this series along with the pace and style of the Rathbone film series. From my survey all 97 of the people asked has said they had heard of the series and 96 of the 97 people asked said they had watched the series, in addition to that 77 of the 94 people that responded said that the series was their favourite adaptation and 81 out of the 90 responses, including myself, think that ‘Sherlock’ would have the largest fan following as it appeals to a wide range of people and age groups, the chemistry between the actors playing the main characters is excellent which causes the characters friendship to feel real and the series has had a lot of media publicity, including publicity stunts for example for the release of the third season a hearse drove around London with flower letters spelling ‘Sherlock’ inside of it. The final series is titled ‘Elementary’ and has so far ran from 2012 to 2017 with 5 seasons and a total of 120, 43-46 minute long  episodes This series much like the series mentioned above it is set in the modern day but in New York and not London, although Sherlock Holmes, played by Jonny Lee Miller, is still from London. Other noticeable differences between this series and others including the canon is that John Watson has been turned into a female character called Joan Watson and James Moriarty has also been turned into a female character Jamie Moriarty and is the same character as Irene Adler in this adaptation. In my survey 88 out of 97 people had heard of the series, but only 25 out of the 88 had watched the show and a further 5 people think that it is their favourite adaptation.

Along with these well known TV and film variations there are also several other variations in different forms. Books, and equivalent works of literature, are the next main form of variation with numerous books and fanworks being written as either an extension to or a retelling of Sherlock Holmes story. As a result of my survey I am able to assume that it is the third largest form of media for the variations as only 12 people said that they heard of one book called ‘The House of Silk’ and 6 people have read this book, one person has also said ‘The beekeeper's apprentice’ although they have not read the book itself, several other  people have vaguely put  ‘Young Sherlock Holmes’ which is both a film and a book series meaning I have to discount these results despite me placing (TV),(book),(film) with the variations I included in the question. Despite this I have looked into several book variations, ‘The Last Sherlock Holmes story’, ‘The House of Silk’ and ‘The day they met’. I chose these books because they all show something different and were all interesting to me. ‘The House of Silk’ which was published in 2011, is supposedly the first pastiche that was authorized by Arthur Conan Doyle's estate. This specific book starts off with a Preface stating that Holmes has died and Watson is now writing about two additional cases which he previously hasn't written about as ‘They became inextricably tangled up...meaning that they could not be separated.’ These cases are ‘The man in the flat cap’ and ‘The house of silk’. The manuscripts from these cases are also not to be looked at for 100 years after they have been written. The addition of these two new cases makes this book a variation of the canon, along with the fact the new cases are not retellings of the original canon and yet still contain some of the main characters of the canon such as Lestrade and Moriatry, who works with Watson to get Holmes out of prison despite being one of Holmes most well known enemies. ’The Last Sherlock Holmes Story’ which was published in 1978, starts with a foreword stating that Watson had died and is written in a way to suggest these were all real events but also refers to ‘Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories’ implying Watson did not write any of Holmes cases but instead told them to Doyle who wrote and published them instead, it is later confirmed in the story that Doyle was the writer for these cases and then after Holmes died he started to make them up, this didn't bother Watson as by this point most of the public already thought Holmes was a fictional character. Doyle being the author in this book and the original author can bring about discussions on alternate reality/universe, this will be talked about in a later on.This is the only one of the sources I have looked at that involves Doyle in the actual story, this makes it both unique and an adaptation of the original canon. The book involves Holmes attempting to solve the Jack the Ripper killings, which ends in him actually being the killer and making up his nemesis Moriarty, who he thought was the killer and is then framing him as the killer. I find this very interesting because it involves so many different new elements and twists to the story and is presented in such a different way to the other works that it feels as though it is something that has actually been found and published. Alternate reality or universe discussions can be started by the presence of Doyle in this book as it suggests it could have really happened, the stories were published long enough ago that this theory cannot definitively be disproved as there is no one that can say these events didn't actually happen, much like how people have theorised that BBCs Sherlock is now participating in an alternate reality game in which they have tried to mimic the same outburst ‘The Final Problem’ had when it was first released but these are still only theories. ‘The Day They Met’ which was published in 2015, is my favourite book variation out of the three as it contains ‘50 New Ways the World's Most Legendary Partnership Might Have Begun’, these 50 ways range from meeting in the 21st century when Watson tries to get Holmes to donate some of his blood, to the 20th century when both Holmes and Watson first meet to join the army but don't and then meet again under the original circumstances, to the 19th century when Holmes ends up in the same cab as Watson as he tries to catch a criminal. These are all intended to retell the original meeting of the pair from ‘A Study in Scarlet’ and show that the pair are destined to meet no matter the time or place. This is also provides a really good basis for other adaptations to be made, using one of the ways they met to then shape and retell the events after they met. Following on from these books there are also several independent works of fiction that either retell the original canon, add to the canon, or just use the characters and relationships already established by the canon. There are at least 130,000 of these works available and are written by the fans of either the original canon or a variation, typically the writer would either state what they used as the base for their work or it would be presumed from the time period it was written in and characters used, for example a modern style of writing and the involvement of the character Molly Hooper would suggest that it is based from BBC’s Sherlock whereas if it were a modern style of writing but Watson was referred to by using female pronouns it can be presumed that it is based from Elementary. These works also place the characters of Holmes and Watson in a variety of different situations that expand on elements from the variations, such as several of these works combine the characters of Watson and Moriarty which mainly comes from the BBC version showing Watson to be Moriarty for a short amount of time in the last episode of its first season.

Other forms of media have also been used to share different variations of Holmes, such as the radio variation which aired from 1939 to 1947 and had Rathbone portray Holmes once again.There has also been several comic books and cartoons depicting the detective and his cases along several games involving Holmes. These games include board games and video games that have the player help Holmes solve a case or mystery.     

Along with the different variations of the canon there are also many references to the canon in other works, much like how the show House isn't directly taken from the canon but is inspired by it. For example the in Doctor Who there are several references to Holmes over the years, from the Doctor meeting Holmes to the eleventh Doctor briefly impersonating Holmes and the villain of this episode stating ‘Dr. Doyle is almost certainly basing his fantastical tales on your own exploits’ to Madame Vestra and her partner Jenny. The Two episodes of Scooby Doo which entail the gang being followed by Holmes ghost until they discover it was actually someone posing as his ghost to try and get away with a crime they have caused. There are also several parody works of the canon, the most notable being The Hillywood Show’s Sherlock parody which is a parody of the BBC series, the parody music video also contains one of the producers of the series which makes it the most notable parody. Since at least the release of the third episode of the fourth season of BBC Sherlock there has been a twitter account, ContackSH, which has been continually posting along with a matching account, ContactJHW, these continue some of the story of the series but also change some details from the series and have been known to go off on cases together and both accounts post images when they go on these cases. Despite this no one knows who runs these accounts or why they are still running them almost a year after the episode aired, along with this the second account was created on the 12th of January 2017, two days after the official BBC account was taken over by Sherlock Holmes, but the first account was supposedly created on the 4th of August 2012, five years prior to Sherlock Holmes even supposedly getting a twitter account although the user could have just easily changed there name on twitter. Although this can feed back into the alternate reality game theory involving the BBC series and their fans.

I have mentioned several pieces of information that I have obtained through my survey, this survey has also provided me with a general amount of information on the fandom surrounding Sherlock Holmes. The majority of the responses from my survey are from females and are from individuals who are age 16-20, my survey is completely anonymous and was placed on a website which needs parental permission to access if the user is under 18, they are also predominantly from either the UK or USA. Just over a 3/4th have read atleast some of the original canon and the top three heard of  variations are BBC Sherlock, Elementary and the RDJ Sherlock Holmes films, whereas the top three watched variations are BBC Sherlock, RDJ Sherlock Holmes films and House. Almost all the responders are aware of the cult following Sherlock Holmes has and believe that BBC Sherlock has the largest following because it is both set and filmed in modern times. The vast majority of people believe that their are so many different variations because the original canon are timeless stories that have the classic murder mystery element to them which people will always love and the majority of people have said that their favourite variation is BBC Sherlocks.

The final question of my survey asks ‘What do you want to see in an adaptation?’ Which an overwhelming majority of people have said that they would like an openly gay Holmes/Holmes and Watson, which many believe to have been hinted at in ‘The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes’ and many were hoping it to be shown in BBC Sherlock as it is set and filmed in the 21st century a time where being openly gay is less taboo than when ‘TPLoSH’ was set and released. Another was that many people wanted their to be a female Holmes and Watson, it is unsure whether they don't like the portrayal of the female Watson in Elementary, if they have even seen or know about Elementary or if they would just like both characters to be female, from further research that I have learnt about a Female version of Holmes and Watson that is currently trying to be produced and the pilot was submitted to Amazon studios in order to make the original series. The final answer that many people gave is that they would like to see some adaptations of some later lesser known cannon stories such as ‘The Three Garridebs’, the main reason there are few adaptations of these later stories have still got some form of copyright placed on them whereas Doyle's earlier works have actually no copyright on them which makes it easier to develop from these works than the copyrighted ones. The last copyright expires in 2022, meaning that the earliest some variation of these canon stories could be released is 2023.

Over the 130 years since Arthur Conan Doyle first released his character of Sherlock Holmes on to the public, he has taken a life of his own. The many different variations he has been included in is just an example of how such a classic character can easily be shaped to fit in with a different time. Hopefully time will once again change the classic character and continue his story for years to come.

-----------------------------------

Sorry its so long and its all in one post but the last i checked tumblr was having trouble with links so I decided to put this somewhere else and share a link to it. Any way thanks for reading, and thanks again if you helped by taking my survey almost two years ago.I also got a B on this, just in case you wanted to know.

[acquisitive-adventurers]

How did Singlar lose his wife? Did he feel he lost her through his own negligence or ineptitude, or does he blame someone else for her death? Has he ever considered looking for a way to bring her back from the dead? Would he ever consider that?

(Thanks for the ask, @calabren-iarian !)

THIS IS LARGELY MY FAVORITE THING TO TRY AND WRITE??? It came out in an rp AGES ago with Singlar’s mun, and he was like (oocly) “what if you were my wife but I thought I’d lost you?” during a really sad part of an rp. It ripped my heart out and it’s been that way forever.

It’s evolved from something akin to screaming into the void to something else less screamy.

Singlar was pretty young as a dwarf – few decades old, probably 60 or so – and he was out exploring with his older brother, Kóri. They were out, being stupid “young” guys, when they came upon a night elf village. They weren’t used to meeting any of the other races beyond dwarves, gnomes, and humans, and the elves were… gorgeous, to say the least. Kóri would joke at Singlar about “staring too long,” but as a young paladin, the starlight that emanated from their eyes was intoxicating.

Though he and his brother left the village after a particularly bad cold snap (it was only like a few days before the weather opened up), Singlar had developed a major crush on the elf that would become his wife. It took maybe ten years before they actually got married, and they stayed that way for almost 80 years (so he’d be roughly 150-160 when she “died”). They’d made a home in the mountain ranges between Mount Hyjal/Felwood/Winterspring, and they were pretty happy.

Emerald Dream portals would open randomly though, and the village they lived in believed they were well defended, so no one left. Singlar left to go visit his brother in Ironforge (for some business) and left Zaha’a alone at their home. When Singlar returned a few weeks later, it was a gory mess: the village was reduced to smoldering ash, fresh corpses of elves and worgen were everywhere, and Singlar couldn’t find his wife anywhere among the survivors. So, he thought she’d perished.

For another 90+ years, he held a hatred for elves and worgen (and anyone that could turn into one tbh). He blamed himself for staying too long in Ironforge, for not taking the first boat and being delayed by a few extra hours, for not bringing his wife along in the first place.

Since there wasn’t anything left of her – possessions, body, even a photo – Singlar was left with nothing of his wife, but her visage haunted him every day for nearly 50 years. He went and drank himself nearly to death, until the kingdoms of men started asking for the other races to help build up their cities. He spent the next few decades working, drinking, sleeping with everyone, and refusing to allow himself to grieve or let go of his anger. He got sick, and sicker, and sickest of all when the orcs invaded Azeroth. He was one of the first to put his skills into the armies for the Alliance, and used it as an excuse to shed blood.

(Even that left him so very hollow inside, and it did not feel good to watch the blood go down the drain after a battle.)

When his commanders realized what he was doing, he was sent to Silithus to keep the supply chains there flowing for the Alliance and keep them as long as possible from the Horde. It was only when he touched down in Stormwind and was given the orders to go did he see Ahilyah for the first (and only) time fully decked out in her commander’s armor – at the time, he didn’t know she was his commander and was pretty awful to her, but she let it slide – as they were both introduced to the other members of their team.

All seven of them left to go to Silithus. Eventually, after battles and literal years spent in the bug-infested cesspool, everyone but Singlar and Ahilyah died or were transferred. They didn’t get any other teammates, and it was just them holding down an entire outpost.

They grew comfortable, enough to drink and sleep in the same room together (more for camaraderie than anything else), and eventually they started sharing their lives. She told him about her explorations and commander school, he told her how it was to grow up in the heart of a mountain; he explained paladin teachings (that he often scoffed at in the same breath of whispering his prayers to the Light), she explained beautiful and terrifying worlds beyond their touch that only a few could (or would) ever see. They were friends.

Between fighting the Horde and the old god worshippers and the bugs, Ahilyah was often given secret missions that they’d go and usually sabotage Horde encampments (”don’t explain anything to me, and I’ll have no questions to ask,” Singlar would tell her), but one time there was a month of nothing. Singlar asked if the war was over, if they’d be released from this Hell and they’d finally go their separate ways; she explained she’d already been given her orders, and had been given plenty of mail about not completing it yet.

When he asked why they hadn’t gone out to do “another get-this, kill-that” mission, she explained it wasn’t that type of mission anymore. It was supposed to have them go outside of the combat zone and kill any and every Horde village nearby. She had twenty-four hours to respond, or she’d be court marshaled, judged by the king and his peers, and executed. (She still didn’t know which part of the kingdom this order came from, but it had an official seal. She had asked the high command for a repeat of the orders, but she never got one – so, she stayed put, mostly because of her morals and also because she didn’t believe it was a real King Varian-stated order.)

They had a screaming match due to misunderstandings until she screamed something in anger – basically “you’re such a stupid dwarf, I can’t believe I put up with you for so many centuries” – and he was like “????what????”

And then they had a very awkward reveal that she was his wife.

He was angry, hurt, confused, and felt like he wanted to throw up. He ended up camping out in the next outpost over, thinking everything over.

Ahilyah never did the mission. At this point the Alliance basically forgot about Silithus as the Legion expac started, King Wrynn dying, and the other Alliance leaders straining under Anduin’s leadership. He came back after fighting on the Broken Shore for a while (she was in Suramar for a time), but they went back to Silithus when the Broken Isles were secure.

Days before the Sargeras skewering of the world, they started to talk about things. Though Anduin’s reign was much different than his father’s, their relationship would never be able to heal. Silithus was going to be released so the people there could refocus elsewhere in the world, but so far it was just a waiting process.

They were on their way out of the zone (near the northern mountain range) when the sword came down. The group they were traveling with were able to get into a nearby cave, but it turned out to be a straight view of the valley; they’d be burned alive if the shockwave didn’t kill them.

And being stupid, Singlar kind of just stood in front of Ahilyah as they curled up in the corner of the cavern while Silithus erupted in flames. In the last few seconds before the flames hit them, he was like, “I wasted years over you.” And she just had to tell him to choose: the anger, or a clear future.

When the shockwave hit, everything exposed to the flames was horribly burned.  Chunks of Azerite were thrown into bodies of people, killing some instantly due to the intense high while others were in severe agony. The dwarves and gnomes that sat in the cavern came out completely different, half infused with this rock that deformed their bodies but also gave them immense strengths they hadn’t had before.

Ahilyah ends up with horrible burns/scars across the right side of her body (and flecks on her left). The warrior’s right eye glows like the Azurite does, and parts of her scars sometimes glow if she gets too enraged. She goes into blind rages whenever she loses control of herself, going into a frenzy due to the Azerite in her system.

For Singlar, he’s got these giant rocks (kinda like the rock giants in Deepholm?) sticking out of his back, pulsing every time his heart beats. His eyes turn from an ice blue to brilliant gold, and the veins along his body pulse the same color. He’s got burns along the skin that isn’t infused with Azerite, and the back of his head/neck have diamonds/Azerite crystal hybrids growing out of it.

(The other dwarves and gnomes come out looking similar to Singlar, only with their own molecular type – some have sandstone/Azerite, sapphire/Azerite, etc. Each one’s experiences with the Azerite infusion range wildly to “this sucks” to “what could go wrong?”)

((I want to make an entire post about what gnomes, dwarves, goblins, and (maybe) humans taking baths in this stuff would do to them (being descendants of the Titan constructs and all), since the initial “explosion” can’t really be recreated. So it’ll just add to that layer of “well this might actually suck for us” by being so dependent on Azerite.))

[nightcoremoon]

Callout post: me

lying, manipulative, hold grudges, constantly paranoid, would absolutely 100% check out a teenager if nobody was looking because "it's a harmless crime", liar, cycle through idealization and devaluation, 'sick of fat people trying to be the next civil rights issue and making it that much harder to get civil rights for people who are ACTUALLY oppressed like gee idk poc and muslims and the mentally ill and queer people', frequently fantasizes about committing violent acts against people I rationalize they deserve it including family members, untruthful, attention whore, pedantic AND pretentious, tells lies, doesn't believe in one sister's claim of sexual assault (went to smoke weed with the alleged perpetrator), UNAPOLOGETICALLY AGAINST ASEXUAL EXCLUSIONISM (LITERALLY FUCK YOU DUMBASS FOURTEEN YEAR OLDS WHO SHRIEK THAT QUEER IS A SLUR, SHUT YOUR GODDAM FUCKING WHORE MOUTHS YOU DUMBASSES AND GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE OR READ A BOOK), would absolutely punch a child over an insignificant internet argument, secretly sought out sexual pleasure from two friendly seemingly platonic encounters with two girls I just met within twenty four hours, overreacts to the slightest provocations and has bitches at or vagueposted at several people who did not deserve it, has used mental illness and physical handicap to evade trouble from being late for work because video games and laziness and excessive sleep, has spent maybe a thousand dollars on fast food in 2018 alone, evades bills for medical care from an actually great clinic, lying sack of garbage, gave up on calling out family's bigotry and is now an accessory to prejudice, despises terfs predominantly for their refusal to fuck me because of being trans and yet meanwhile would not engage in sexual relationship with another trans woman or cis man unless reeeeeeeeally drunk, can and will blame being sexually assaulted as a child which probably didn't even happen because I don't think I remember it, unabashed furry, probably as addicted to video games and masturbation AND LIES as I almost was to alcohol, pretended to have almost been an alcoholic just to "win" facebook arguments about addiction, doesn't give a fuck my dad almost died from heroin JUST because he's a *little* homophobic and racist and classist and xenophobic because of a christian upbringing, would literally fucking murder him if he EVER PUTS HIS HANDS ON ME AGAIN, only slightly depressed because of laziness and a lack of drive and ungrateful to my family because hey they didn't kick me out for being trans so HEY THATS SUPPORTIVE ENOUGH FOR SOME OTHER PEOPLE SO WHY CANT I BE HAPPY WITH THAT, legitimately salty about ~the friendzone~ and just makes fun of incels because everybody else does, takes the moral high ground for not being a misogynist even though I don't deserve a pat on the back a lap dance and a blowjob for not hating women, overly sensitive about stupid things, thinking about faking having a trigger warning for more discourse credit, HUUUGE ASSHOLE to men I deem unattractive for no other reason than every single ugly fat guy I've ever met has been an asshole, rationalizes it after the fact because they eventually say something shitty because all men are terrible, probably a little bit of a cisnormative misandrist because trans men tend to be much better people, finds trans men attractive (specifically and significantly more so than cis men) so must clearly be fetishizing them, relatively okay with people referring to me as deadnamed and the wrong pronouns so probably just lying about being trans to everyone including myself, not 100% okay with the hijab for 'no reason other than all organized religion is evil and opposed to its mandate and the shame it forces on many women in many situations the exact same way I'm opposed to no sex before marriage and wives being subservient to their husbands and treating women as property in the torah and quran alike because ITS ALL BRAINWASHING' so is clearly not unlearning islamophobia and doesn't want to let that go, hypocrite because I believe in the basics of judeochristianity

and loathe atheism and atheists entirely because their smugness and smarm literally sets my blood pressure through the roof of what is safe and normal and yet claim to hate all organized religion, mansplains yet gets so pissed off when other people mansplain to me, judgmental of other cultures because they don't have the exact same values that I have, james gunn apologist, talks and talks and talks about anarchosocialism all damn day but would beat the shit out of a coworker for leaving me to do things because they're lazy because "any job worth doing is worth doing well" and other capitalismisms, literally couldn't give less of a fuck that his mother is dying because people die but it's no reason to make my life slightly harder and making me work hard when I work because BOO HOO MY LEGS HURT FROM THE LITERALLY MOST MILD CASE OF MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY I COULD'VE BEEN BORN WITH, hasn't actually performed real suicide attempt ever but still claims to have done so to attain sympathy that may result in physical affection, countless other shitty terrible things that yeah I recognize are bad but CANT SEEM TO CARE BECAUSE I HAVE DEPRESSION... WHICH IS THE WEAKEST FUCKING EXCUSE IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE GODDAMN WORLD

I am not a good person, okay?

I just pretend to be sometimes.

I'm sick of doing it, I'm sick of trying to do well and earn people's approval by doing and saying the right things only to just be ignored which is a step up from receiving many anons that hey, never actually told me to kill myself, but did take my words out of context to paint me as a racist. I am not the kind of racist who would vote for trump and march with the kkk. that is one of very few good things I can say about myself. but I'm an arrogant, violent, and angry opinionated perverted manipulative judgmental lying asshole. I'm not a good person. I have let myself fall so much and I deserve to be alone. my only connections to people were built on personal gain and I swear to myself that I do love them but those feelings fall away in direct correlation to how much they interact with me. I could love you to the point of obsession and stalking and one month later be completely and totally disinterested. I'm a bigot who pretends to not be bigoted and just parrots what other people say not because I believe it but because it's the right thing to say, and I only say what the right thing is to say because whenever I say a good thing something good will happen to me and if I say a bad thing something bad happens to me. it's all just self preservation, nothing else at all. but now I'm at the end of a road of just trying to do good and I'm alone. out of the only two friends that I can really say that I have left, one is far away and trapped in a guilt spiral that I caused by being too clingy, and the other has been behaving in a way my mind has decoded as defensive around me which makes sense as I have been very... the best way to describe it would be the way a dudebro incel interacts with any person who possesses a vagina/breasts but sneakier. in both relationships I've pushed my own wants and desires in extremis... I can't for the life of me recall the last time I have ever offered something in return other than my own company or paying for a meal at a restaurant or I guess transportation. and instead of sex I just want them to express even the slightest bit of intimate platonic physical affection towards me but that's still a lot to offer someone who has clearly expressed the existence of a sexual and maybe something near the realms of romantic in one of the cases physical attraction because for this aspec it's practically the same fucking thing.

and I've manipulated them to attain this goal. at this point my shit brain has considered just fucking going to town on my wrists with a razor blade to draw sympathy so that I'll get a hug or something beyond just a simply hello/goodbye, and finding a way to induce tears to concoct a sob story to reach the same end result, and one time very briefly via threat and intimidation so you can clearly see that I've gone far too into irredeemable territory. I've been playing and replaying cry of fear because it's just too similar to my own issues and the first ending where he just kills everyone he loves and then himself... I see me in that ending. and it scares me so much more than the sprinting screaming twitching one hit kill chainsaw guy ever will. I don't want that to be me, I want to change something, but I just can't get the help that I need. I had hoped to go for a domino effect, where if I could be cuddled for like five minutes or something, I'd have the energy to be more hygienic, which would make me feel capable enough to take on two jobs, which would get me the cash flow I need to pay my bills and take care of my hormones, which would put me in the headspace necessary to effectively use psychological help, which would let me get over my illnesses and actually become a more successful person instead of the pathetic husk I am here in non-fantasy land.

but that won't happen.

I'm just sitting here in the dark angsting about how nobody will touch me in a way that would produce oxytocin, and it's making me so sick, so physically sick, that it's affecting my brain too. I'm in pain, nauseous, vengeful, spiteful, paranoid, judgmental, and lonely. I'm stuck and I can't even kill myself because my mind wants me to stay alive and suffer through all of this because "oh it gets better" people have been saying that for well over half of my life. I was six or seven years old when I asked my mother to kill me, and that same level of desperation and bitterness has only gotten worse as time goes by. when does it get better? I'll tell you when it gets better, after I'm in prison or comatose or forty five years old with a cane and bad eyes and high blood pressure and lung cancer from all the secondhand smoke I've breathed in my life. when my life is over, that's when it gets better. I DONT WANT THAT. I WANT A NORMAL FUCKING LIFE RIGHT NOW. I WANT NORMAL FRIENDSHIPS AND A NORMAL HOME AND A NORMAL EDUCATION AND A NORMAL CAREER AND A NORMAL FAMILY. or at least I want someone to hold me and make me feel like I'm not so horrible and broken that I can't be touched.

but that's too much to ask for.

[patriotsnet]

Who Is Winning Democrats Or Republicans

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/who-is-winning-democrats-or-republicans/

Who Is Winning Democrats Or Republicans

Democrats Lose Senate Seat In Alabama

Spending bill: A win for Democrats or the GOP?

Democratic Senator Doug Jones has lost his race in Alabama, CBS News projects. Jones’ loss is expected, but it means the Democrats need another seat to take back control of the Senate. Democrats have picked up one seat so far, in Colorado.;

Many consider Jones’ tenure as a senator from ruby-red Alabama to be a fluke. He won the seat in a 2017 special election to fill the vacancy left by Jeff Sessions, who became Mr. Trump’s first attorney general. Jones narrowly defeated Republican candidate Roy Moore, who faced multiple allegations of sexual misconduct with underage girls. This year, Jones was less fortunate with his opponent. He was defeated by Tommy Tuberville, the well-known, beloved former coach of the Auburn University football team.;

Meanwhile, CBS News projects Republican Senator John Cornyn won his reelection race in Texas, defeating Democrat MJ Hegar.

Quiz: Let Us Predict Whether Youre A Democrat Or A Republican

Tell us a few details about you and well guess which political party you belong to. It shouldnt be that simple, right? Were all complex people with a multiplicity of identities and values. But the reality is that in America today, how you answer a handful of questions is very likely to determine how you vote.

This quiz, based on recent surveys with more than 140,000 responses, presents a series of yes-or-no questions to predict whether someone is more likely to identify as a Democrat or a Republican. It captures divisions that should make you worried about the future of American democracy.

We wont collect your answers.

The first question is the most important: Its about race. Asking whether someone is black, Hispanic or Asian cleaves the electorate into two groups. Those who answer yes lean Democratic; the others are split roughly evenly between the parties. Among those who are not black, Hispanic or Asian , the second most important question is whether the person considers religion important. If they answer yes, they are probably Republican.

Its not just race and religion, though. Party allegiances are now also tied to education, gender and age. Americans have sorted themselves more completely and rigidly than any time in recent history.

How demographics predict party affiliation

The group most likely to be Democrats are black women older than about 30.

Meeting in the Middle

Reliable Republicans

Cal Cunningham Concedes North Carolina Senate Race

Democrat Cal Cunningham conceded in the;North Carolina;Senate race on Tuesday, saying in a statement that he had called Republican incumbent Senator Thom Tillis to congratulate him on his victory.

“I just called Senator Tillis to congratulate him on winning re-election;to a second term in the U.S. Senate and wished him and his family the best in their continued service in the months and years ahead,” Cunningham said. “The voters have spoken and I respect their decision.”

CBS News projects that Tillis has won the race, after Cunningham’s concession. Tillis led Cunningham by nearly 100,000 votes as of Tuesday. The presidential race in North Carolina is still too close to call, although President Trump is currently in the lead. The full results of the election in North Carolina are unlikely to be known until later this week, as the deadline in the state to receive absentee ballots postmarked by Election Day is November 12.

Read Also: Did Trump Say That Republicans Are The Dumbest Group Of Voters

Joe Biden The Current Vp

Biden, for the most part, has been content to let his boss hog the limelight. He has made his fair share of effort staying under the public spotlight. His approval ratings have waned in public as well as in Democrat circles as well, owing to his diminished role in the Vice President role.

Compared to the invisible Dick Cheney, Joe Bidens mark on US politics is muted.

Reality Check 1: Biden Cant Be Fdr

Theres no question that Biden is swinging for the fences. Beyond the emerging bipartisan infrastructure bill, he has proposed a far-reaching series of programs that would collectively move the United States several steps closer to the kind of social democracy prevalent in most industrialized nations: free community college, big support for childcare and homebound seniors, a sharp increase in Medicaid, more people eligible for Medicare, a reinvigorated labor movement. It is why 100 days into the administration, NPR was asking a commonly heard question: Can Biden Join FDR and LBJ In The Democratic Party’s Pantheon?

But the FDR and LBJ examples show conclusively why visions of a transformational Biden agenda are so hard to turn into reality. In 1933, FDR had won a huge popular and electoral landslide, after which he had a three-to-one Democratic majority in the House and a 59-vote majority in the Senate. Similarly, LBJ in 1964 had won a massive popular and electoral vote landslide, along with a Senate with 69 Democrats and a House with 295. Last November, on the other hand, only 42,000 votes in three key states kept Trump from winning re-election. Democrats losses in the House whittled their margin down to mid-single digits. The Senate is 50-50.

You May Like: How Many Seats Do Republicans Hold In The Senate

Pelosi Says American People Have Made Their Choice Clear In Voting For Biden

;In a letter to her Democratic colleagues in the House, Speaker Nancy Pelosi expressed confidence that Biden would be elected president, even though several states have yet to be called.

“The American people have made their choice clear at the ballot box, and are sending Joe Biden and Kamala Harris to the White House,” Pelosi said.

She also praised House Democrats for keeping their majority, saying that the House will “now have the opportunity to deliver extraordinary progress.” However, she only obliquely referenced the heavy losses by several freshmen Democrats who had flipped red seats.

“Though it was a challenging election, all of our candidates both Frontline and Red to Blue made us proud,” Pelosi said.

Georgia Election Official Says Ossoff Is On Pace To Win Avoid Runoff

A top Georgia election official said Democrat Jon Ossoff, who leads Republican;David Perdue, is on pace to win by a great enough margin to avoid a recount as the state looks to finish counting most outstanding absentee ballots by 1 p.m. EST Wednesday.

Gabriel Sterling, Georgias voting system implementation manager, said more than 60,470 absentee ballots remain uncounted, mostly in Democratic-leaning counties in the metro Atlanta area.

It makes it look like Jon Ossoff will likely have a margin outside of the half a percent to avoid a recount, Sterling said. And obviously, Rev.;Warnock is ahead of him right now. So, if Ossoff avoids that recount so does Rev. Warnock.

Under Georgia law, a recount can be requseted by a campaign;when an election is decided by less than 0.5 percentage points.

Ossoff leads;Perdue by 17,567 votes in a race the Associated Press says is still too early to call. Ossoff’s current lead is 0.4 percentage points. Raphael Warnock, who leads Republican Sen. Kelly Loeffler by more than 54,729 votes, is the projected winner in his race. He leads Loeffler by 1.24 percentage points.

Sterling said the Georgia secretary of states office requested all counties get their ballots tallied by 1 p.m., and he believes most will be able to do so. The bulk of uncounted absentee ballots are those that arrived on Election Day, he said.

;Joey Garrison

Read Also: Why Are No Other Republicans Running For President

Iowa And Montana Senate Races Toss

With polls closing at 10 p.m. ET, CBS News estimates the closely-watched Iowa and Montana Senate races are both toss-ups. If the Democratic candidates defeated the Republican incumbents, it would bring Democrats closer to gaining the majority in the Senate.

In Iowa, Republican Senator Joni Ernst is being challenged by Democrat Theresa Greenfield in an unexpectedly close race. Mr. Trump won Iowa by 10 percentage points in 2016, raising concerns among Republicans about the tightness of a race Ernst was initially expected to win. Greenfield has raised far more than Ernst $28.7 million in the third quarter and she could end up outspending Ernst by more than $25 million by Election Day. ;

In Montana, first-term Republican Senator Steve Daines faces a challenge from the two-term governor of his state, Steve Bullock. Like Hickenlooper, Bullock briefly ran for president before ending his bid and entering the Senate race in March 2020. Bullock won reelection in Montana as a Democrat in 2016 even as Donald Trump won the state by about 20 points.

Meanwhile, the South Carolina Senate race has gone from a “toss-up” to “likely Republican.”

Jon Ossoff Wins In Georgia Ensuring Democrats Will Control The Senate

Winning U.S. Senate an essential piece of presidential election

Democrats took control of the Senate on Wednesday with a pair of historic victories in Georgias runoff elections, assuring slim majorities in both chambers of Congress for President-elect Joseph R. Biden Jr. and delivering an emphatic, final rebuke to President Trump in his last days in office.

The Rev. Raphael Warnock defeated Senator Kelly Loeffler, becoming the first Black Democrat elected to the Senate from the South. And Jon Ossoff, the 33-year-old head of a video production company who has never held public office, defeated David Perdue, who recently completed his first full term as senator.

Both Democrats now lead their defeated Republican opponents by margins that are larger than the threshold required to trigger a recount under Georgia law.

The Democrats twin victories will reshape the balance of power in Washington. Though they will have the thinnest of advantages in the House and Senate, where Vice President-elect Kamala Harris will break 50-50 ties, Democrats will control the committees and the legislation and nominations brought to the floor. That advantage will pave the way for at least some elements of Mr. Bidens agenda.

The political fallout of Mr. Trumps tenure is now clear: His single term in the White House will conclude with Republicans having lost the presidency, the House and the Senate on his watch.

Read Also: Which 12 Republicans Voted Against Trump

Georgia Senate Runoffs: The Final Battles For Control Of The Us Senate

The results of Georgias January 5 Senate races will help define Bidens presidency.

On January 5, control of the US Senate will be decided in two Georgia runoff elections. If Democrats win both races, both parties will have 50 senators each, with Vice President-elect Kamala Harris serving as the tie-breaker in any party-line votes.

If just one of the two Republican incumbents can hold onto their seats, however, the GOP will keep control of the Senate.

In the first race, Republican Sen. David Perdue is facing off against Jon Ossoff, perhapsbest known for his failed attempt to flip Georgias Sixth Congressional District in 2017 . In the second race, Rev. Raphael Warnock is challenging Republican Sen. Kelly Loeffler. Warnock is the senior pastor of Ebenezer Baptist Church, renowned as the place where Martin Luther King Jr. preached in the 1960s.

Its difficult to predict how runoffs and special elections will go. But though Republicans are favored, the races could be tight, as Voxs Ella Nilsen reported:

ButPerdue and Loeffler have struggled to clearly articulate the stakes of losing the Senate to Georgians as President Donald Trump has continued to falsely insist that he won the presidential race. Its hard to tell your supporters that youre the only thing standing between them and radical socialism if you cant admit that Trump lost.

Follow along below for Voxs election coverage, including breaking news updates, analysis, explainers, and more.

Georgia’s First Black Senator

A pastor who spent the past 15 years leading the Atlanta church where Martin Luther King Jr. preached, Raphael Warnock, defeated Republican incumbent Kelly Loeffler, US media predicted.

With the win, Warnock has become the first Black senator in his state’s history.

He acknowledged his improbable victory in a message to supporters early Wednesday, citing his family’s experience with poverty.

“The other day, because this is America, the 82-year-old hands that used to pick somebody else’s cotton picked her youngest son to be a United States senator,” he said, referring to his mother.

“Tonight, we proved with hope, hard work and the people by our side, anything is possible.”

Loeffler refused to concede in a brief message to supporters shortly after midnight.

“We’ve got some work to do here. This is a game of inches. We’re going to win this election,” the 50-year-old former businesswoman insisted, despite having no path to victory.

Also Check: How Many Registered Republicans Are In The United States

Poking That Dog With A Stick

This is not a situation open to easy reform; nor would all want to reform it. Parties try to become strong, and remain strong, for perfectly understandable political reasons. Strong parties can be a boon, though the balance of benefit to risk is better in a system designed with them in mind. And American society is divided in ways it was not before; its partisan politics are in part a cause of thatbut in part, too, a consequence of it.

An electoral system that has its thumb on the scales, though, is harder to defend. And measures to redress that electoral bias through greater proportionality in the voting system might also help with the broader issues of political division. Systems with elements of proportional representation, such as that sought by reformers of the electoral college or House districts, not only provide bulwarks against charges of illegitimacy. They also have a tendency towards consensus of the sort the founders wanted. There is a reason why, when choosing their own constitutions, no other country has for long survived with a replica of the American modeland why when guiding the design of constitutions for others, as they did in post-war Germany and Japan, Americans have always suggested solutions quite unlike the one under which they live.

Dig deeper

Which Party Is The Party Of The 1 Percent

First, both parties receive substantial support. Much of it comes from registered voters who make $100K+ annually. However, Democrats actually come out ahead when it comes to fundraising for campaigns. In many cases, Democrats have been able to raise twice as much in private political contributions. But what about outside of politicians? Does that mean Democrats are the wealthier party? Which American families are wealthier? Republicans or Democrats?

Honestly, it is probably Republicans. When it comes down to it, the richest families in America tend to donate to Republican candidates. Forbes reported out of the 50 richest families in the United States, 28 donate to Republican candidates. Another seven donate to Democrats. Additionally, 15 of the richest families in the U.S. donate to both parties.

Also Check: Can Republicans Vote In California Democratic Primary

Black Voters And Faith Leaders Rejoice At Warnocks Historic Win: I Think It Speaks Volumes

ATLANTA Michael Simmons, 63, has not missed voting in a major election since 1976. The most important for him was 2008, when he cast a ballot for President Barack Obama. But his votes in Novembers general election and the Senate runoffs on Tuesday were ranked closely behind.

The Rev. Raphael Warnocks success in the Senate runoffs sent a jolt of jubilation through much of Georgias African-American community, as they saw a Black man taking an office that had been held by segregationists when he was born. There was also a level of pride in having an emissary of the Black church serve in the highest levels of government.

I never would have thunk put that down, thunk! Id see this happen, said Mr. Simmons, a manager at a nonprofit organization in downtown Atlanta. Personally, I dont expect the world to change because we have a Black man in the Senate, but we can see progress.

The office of the nonprofit where Mr. Simmons works is just a few blocks from Ebenezer Baptist Church, the renowned congregation that Mr. Warnock leads. Mr. Simmons often saw Mr. Warnock walking around the neighborhood.

The win carried enormous significance for him: This was a place where for many years we got the short end of the stick, Mr. Simmons, who grew up in Alabama and moved to Atlanta after college, said.

Is Virginia A Democratic Or Republican State

4.3/5VirginiaRepublicanstateRepublicanVirginiastateDemocratic

Of the state’s eleven seats in the House of Representatives, Democrats hold seven and Republicans hold four. The state is widely considered blue-leaning, a trend which moves parallel with the growth of the Washington D.C. and Richmond suburbs.

Furthermore, is Virginia a swing state? Election analytics website FiveThirtyEight identifies the states of Colorado, Florida, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, Ohio, Nevada, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Virginia, and Wisconsin as “perennial” swing states that have regularly seen close contests over the last few presidential campaigns.

Besides, what political party is Virginia?

Virginia recognizes only two political parties: Democrats and Republicans.

Was Virginia always a democratic state?

Since the 2012 Virginia elections, Virginia has always voted for the Democratic statewide candidate. Since the 1851 Virginia gubernational election, the first gubernatorial election in Virginia in which the governor was elected by direct popular vote, 34 Virginia Governors have been Democrats.

Don’t Miss: Are Republicans More Racist Than Democrats

Key Races That Could Determine The Senate Majority

To take the majority, Democrats would have to net three seats, should Biden win the presidency, or four seats, if Mr. Trump wins reelection, because it’s the vice president who breaks ties in the Senate. The current balance of the Republican-controlled Senate is 53 to 47.

Here is a rundown of the key Senate races in this year’s election:

Doug Collins Concedes To Kelly Loeffler In Georgia Senate Race

Who is Winning US Election 2020 | Full 360 Analysis | Analysts, Democrats, Republicans on NewsX

Republican Congressman Doug Collins has conceded to Senator Kelly Loeffler, who has advanced to a runoff election in the Georgia Senate race along with Democrat Raphael Warnock. The runoff election will be held in early January.

I just called and congratulated her on making the runoff. She has my support and endorsement. I look forward to all Republicans coming together. Raphael Warnock would be a disaster for Georgia and America.

Doug Collins

Read Also: Will Any Republicans Vote For Impeachment