#why is keiji so hard to draw ?!?! i will never know i fear…

[satorisoup]

bokuto & akaashi sketchies ft. yabo-chan !! (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)

[rocorambles]

Until Death Do Us Part

Pairing: Akaashi x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Yandere, NSFW, Sea Warlock!Akaashi, Mermaid Reader, Non-Con/Rape, Mind Control, Body Modification

Summary: As a little girl you’ve always dreamed of marriage, but maybe you should have been more careful of who you decided to exchange eternal vows with.

This is for @terushimooo's Aquatic August collab. Happy swimming~

You love Itachiyama, love waking up and seeing the endless sea of blue, love waving down at all the sea creatures, sirens, mermaids, and so much more who cheerfully greet you. You love Itachiyama and Itachiyama loves you, the citizens of your kingdom eagerly calling your name and shoving free samples of tasty food and merchandise in your hand as you swim by the marketplace, excited to interact with their favorite (and only) princess.

But as much as you genuinely love your realm, you’ve always been too curious for your own good, your sheltered life forcing your imagination to go wild as you listen intently to merchants and travelers from out of town who tell you about corners of the ocean and sea creatures you’ve never even heard of.

There’s a limit to how much pretty words and mental images can satisfy you and your cousins Sakusa and Komori roll their eyes and sigh when you begin to repeatedly try sneaking out from their protective watch, eager to experience what lies beyond the borders of your safe haven.

It’s a comic joint effort between the citizens, your cousins, and the royal guards as they all work to keep you as safe as they can. It becomes a game of sorts, one that they all begrudgingly begin to enjoy, and laughter fills the kingdom when citizens take turns cheering for you or your cousins as Sakusa and Komori rapidly swim after you, leaving ripples and bubbles in your wakes as your tails flick back and forth.

They’re hesitant to let you wander off on your own at first, the creatures of your realm and the palace guards begging you to at least let them accompany you when you’re insistent about exploring the surrounding areas. Sakusa scolds you, always dragging you back to the palace when you do manage to escape, although you hide your smile when you see how he wordlessly takes all your new discoveries from you and carries them back for you. Komori also nudges you back when he’s the one sent to find you, although he always lets you wander around for a while longer when he does locate you, indulging your whims before finally enticing you back home with the promise of a new seashell necklace, his treat.

But over time they begin to relax, just wishing you safe travels and exploring when they do see you ready to slip past the border, Sakusa and Komori reminding you not to stray too far and not to stay out too late when their schedules don’t permit them to leave with you.

You love meeting new people, exploring new towns, seeing the sights outside of the bubble you’ve grown up in. But novelty wears off and even the surrounding territories begin to become familiar to you, an old itch beginning to creep inside of you once again, a desire to see even more churning inside of you. And it’s that yearning inside of you that has you secretly wandering in a different direction one day, going far further than you’ve ever been before, leading you to Akaashi’s lair.

Akaashi sees you long before you even realize you’re in his territory and he’s intrigued to say the least. He can’t even count the number of greedy, selfish, desperate souls who’ve sullied his grounds, disgustingly groveling at his feet, whining for their wishes and desires to be granted. But you? You’re different. He can tell just by how unaware and genuinely curious you are as your eyes flit about the unknown area, ooh-ing and aah-ing at the site of different coral and species of fish you’ve never seen.

You’re not here for him. He’s sure you don’t even know exactly whose lands you’ve naively fluttered upon. And before he even realizes what he’s doing, his legs have transitioned into a mass of swirling tentacles, rocketing him towards your direction.

When’s the last time he’s talked to someone outside of the lowlife scum who begged and pleaded for his help? When’s the last time he was able to enjoy another’s company? The warmth of another’s body entwined with his?

There’s a painful tug at his heart when he sees how you tense at his presence, fear lacing your gaze when you connect the mass of glossy black tentacles on his lower half and his piercing blue orbs to his true identity.

It’s not hard to understand exactly who you’re face to face with, the rumors of the sea warlock’s appearance and reputation having spread far and wide. You’ve always been horrified by the stories you’ve heard. Maybe it’s because you��re far too simple-minded, far too easily satisfied as both your cousins fondly tease you about. But you can’t imagine wanting anything enough to give up your voice, your tail, your ability to love and laugh.

You know Akaashi only takes from those who seek his help, that you technically have nothing to fear. But you still cower in front of him, folding your tail in front of you and clutching it to your chest, a small silly part of you scared that he’d snatch it away from you.

The gesture makes Akaashi laugh and you stare wide-eyed at the handsome creature in front of you, your tail slowly flopping from your arms and floating freely as you let the lovely tinkle of his laugh echo around you.

“Don’t worry, I don’t plan on taking your tail. Unless you’ve come here for me to grant a request?”

You furiously shake your head from side to side, still a little apprehensive as he sends a small amused smile your way. But as he continues talking, you can feel the tension ease from your body, your body matching Akaashi’s pace as he gives you a tour of his neck of the woods. He’s so well-spoken, a soothing tone to his voice that easily lulls you into a sense of peace as you eagerly listen to him tell you about the local wildlife and terrain.

He tells you stories of worlds and creatures you can’t even begin to fathom. He tells you of life above the waters and in the sky. And you find yourself returning back to him over and over again, although it would be a lie to say it’s purely out of a desire to learn more.

Your curiosity is as insatiable as always, but you get distracted more often than not when Akaashi speaks. You get lost staring at that striking face and into those gorgeous eyes. Your eyes glitter in awe as he effortlessly transitions between gracefully swimming upon a mass of tentacles to fluttering two human legs in the sea, appendages you’ve never seen before.

You’re falling fast and hard for the sea warlock and you don’t think there’s any going back.

Akaashi knows there’s no going back.

He’d fallen for you the second you had opened up to him, the moment you had seen him as just another creature to befriend instead of a wish given genie whose only purpose was to dole out wishes. And he’s not ignorant to the way your eyes wander across his figure, his face, how you badly try to hide your growing attraction to him.

So it only makes sense that he doesn’t resist temptation anymore now that he knows the feelings are mutual and he hungrily lets his tentacles wind around your waist, pulling you towards him so he can embrace you in his warms, closing his eyes in bliss as your barely covered torso presses against his own bare chest. One of his hands snakes to unclasp your seashell top while his lips devour yours, sighing at how sweet you taste.

But he grimaces in displeasure when your tail begins to wildly flail from side to side, your hands annoyingly pressing against his chest. And he pulls back, brows furrowed as he tries to understand what’s wrong, only to scowl when he sees hesitation tinged with fear in your pretty eyes.

He thought you were far beyond this point. What is there to be scared of? Why are you so skittish? But he hasn’t gotten as far as he has by blowing his fuse so he forces his tentacles to relinquish you, lightly replacing them with his hands as he brings you over to his bed, letting you sit on his lap and tuck your head under his chin as he gently rubs his thumbs soothingly over your waist.

It’s a good sign that you feel comfortable enough to bury your face in his chest and he lets you sit there silently, waiting for you to speak up. And his patience is rewarded when you nervously draw aimless partners on his skin as you begin to talk.

He bites back a laugh when you ramble on about how you’ve never even had a boyfriend before, never done more than platonically hug and kiss your family and friends. This is all so new to you and isn’t it too fast, too soon? What even are the two of you? Does he even like you? Love you? You don’t want to be just a notch in his bedpost. You want to date, get married, have a family. Only married people can do the things...the things that…

You trail off in embarrassment, unsure how to even phrase things you’ve only whispered about in hushed voices with your friends, that you’ve never experienced for yourself before. But your face heats when a low chuckle reverberates in your ears, gasping when one of Akaashi’s hands digs into your skin, the other traveling sensually up your spine before roughly grabbing the back of your head and pulling you in for a kiss that’s all heady hunger that leaves you breathless.

It would be so easy to just give in, to melt and moan as his nails threaten to pierce your skin, his arms caging you against him until all you can feel, see, and smell is him. Your tongues entangle with each other and you gasp when his fingers begin to slip under a seashell, the other hand teasing the transition of skin to scale. But when he begins to tweak a nipple and palm your ass, you’re jolted back to reality, the morals of chastity and purity you’ve been raised with battling against the temptation of Akaashi’s touch.

“Wait, Keiji. Wait!”

This time there’s no hiding his irritation and you flinch at the annoyance in his eyes as he stares you down, a coldness in his face you’ve never seen before. But you press on, believing that if he truly cared for you, he’d understand. All your girlfriends had told you that if you found the right one, they’d be patient, they’d wait until you were ready.

“I- I really like you, but I don’t think I’m ready for this yet. I want to go on dates, get engaged, get married. And maybe it’s old-fashioned, but I want our first time to be our wedding night, after we’ve said our vows and promises to be together forever.”

“You want to be together forever?”

Akaashi can’t help but smile at the hopeful look in your eyes when you nod your head in affirmation.

“Then until death do us part.”

You’ve always wondered what magic would look or feel like and now you know. You whimper as you feel something powerful, something foreign surge through you, Akaashi’s eyes glowing far more than they should, the shadows of his cave seeming to grow and loom over the two of you. There’s a searing pain on your lower abdomen and the expanse of your chest and you scream as it fills like your tail is being torn into two.

And suddenly there’s a feeling of something wrapping around your heart, an ache between your legs-

Your legs?

You stare in horror, tears forming in your eyes when you see your beautiful tail replaced by two legs, strange black markings permanently engraved over your womb, the scrawl of Akaashi’s name taunting you from its loving placement above your heart.

“Don’t cry, my love. Look we can match now. Consider it a reminder of our new beginning together, the start of the rest of our lives.”

This is a mockery of everything you’ve believed a marriage to be and you only sob harder as Akaashi pins you on your back, his legs in between yours pushing them apart. But he tires of your pained and agonized cries and you gasp as the new markings decorating your skin begin to glow blue. Fear is replaced with lust and all you can think of is Akaashi, all you want is Akaashi, all you need is Akaashi.

There’s just enough of your own will to know this isn’t right, this isn’t truly you. But you can’t do anything against your body and mind’s cravings, the way you instinctively lean into every kiss, every touch. Is this how it always feels? You can’t tell if the delirious pleasure you’re feeling is normal or if it’s being heightened by whatever incantation Akaashi has you under. But you can’t bring yourself to care about the details, not when your eyes are rolling back in your head, something slick leaking from between your new limbs as Akaashi makes his way down your body, mouth and fingers lapping at your new slit.

Your chest heaves, nipples standing at attention, gleaming with Akaashi’s saliva as your body contorts as he continuously pumps in and out of you, adding finger after finger until it feels like you’re going to burst. You don’t even recognize the wanton cries in the air as your own, lewd whines of “Keiji, Keiji, Keiji” filling the air. And then there’s a snap, your body going rigid as something coils tight inside of you before you’re wailing, body thrashing and convulsing around the four digits stuffed inside of you, your arousal coating Akaashi’s fingers and dripping down his wrist.

You hate how wrong it feels to be empty, a whine escaping your lips at the loss of his fingers as he pulls them out. But you flinch at the sight of Akaashi seductively licking his skin clean of your mess, desire making his eyes dark as he contently hums at your taste. You try to use his distraction as a chance to slowly crawl away, but you let out a surprised cry when strong hands drag you back in place, spreading your legs once again.

“We’re not done with our wedding night yet, darling.”

Something hard and thick nudges at your entrance and you struggle anew to no use as your markings glow blue once more. And suddenly you’re pliant and aroused all over again, overwhelmed tears streaming down your face as despair and lust mix together, only heightening the dizzying feeling of having Akaashi’s cock balls deep inside of you. It’s too much, too soon and yet it’s not enough, desire pulsing inside of you, need making you go mad.

But it doesn’t matter what you want or how you feel and Akaashi reminds you of that as he uses your body to chase his own end, hips thrusting in and out of you, cock dragging against your oversensitized walls. On and on he goes, following through with a relentless, brutal pace, spurred on by your lewd moans and the way your nails draw blood as you claw at him, body trying to ground itself in any way.

You’re tumbling over the edge once more and what husband would he be to not join his lovely new wife over that precipice of pleasure? So he follows you down, groaning and burying his face in your neck with a kiss as he thrusts one last time, sinking deep inside of you as he fills you to the brim with his seed.

Reality sinks in as the blue glow emblazoned on you begins to dim until only skin and dark markings are left and disgust makes your guts churn. All you want to do is curl up into a ball. All you want is to be back home with your cousins, joking with Komori, being a brat to Sakusa. All you want is to go back in time, go back to the carefree days of innocence and fluttering your tail when Akaashi was just a faceless name.

But there’s no going back and all you can do is lie there and accept your fate as Akaashi reverently kisses and caresses his marks on your body.

Until death do you part.

[starfinss]

Wingman — Akaashi Keiji

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Summary: Bokuto heard you like Akaashi and decides to be your wingman. It goes about as well as it sounds.

Pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Reader

Rating: Fluff, humor (SFW)

Word Count: 1,779

“Do you like Akaashi?”

You choked on your rice at Bokuto’s sudden question, sending you into a violent coughing fit as you pounded on your chest in an attempt to clear your throat.

“I’m sorry, what?!” You said once you could speak, taking a large swallow of water from your bottle.

Bokuto looked blankly at you, owlishly, which was sort of his default expression. “I asked if you liked Akaashi.”

You sent a glance to Yukie, who seemed to be trying her best to look innocent.

“Who,” you said pointedly, and you watched Yukie’s facade break, just a smidge, “told you something like that?”

Bokuto inclined his head in said girl’s direction. “Her.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “Yukie, I told you not to tell anyone. And you told him of all people?”

A pause, then offense flashed across Bokuto’s face. “Hey!”

Yukie made a pained noise. “I’m sorry! It kind of just… slipped out. We were talking about how Akaashi never seems to date anyone, and I remembered what you told me and I just… I couldn’t stop talking!”

“No offense, Yukie, but Bokuto isn’t the best at keeping secrets.”

“Hey hey, I can keep secrets!”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, hands flattened against your temples.

“Okay, prove it by keeping this one. I haven’t told Akaashi because I’ve never seen him ever show me any sign that he feels the same.”

Bokuto took a large bite of his sandwich. “Just tell ‘im anyway. What’s the worst that could happen?”

You sighed. “Don’t talk with your mouth full, it’s disgusting. And I dunno, he could reject me?”

Bokuto swallowed loudly, a splitting grin growing on his face.

“Well, what about this, (L/N). How about I be your wingman? Ey?”

Your mind flooded with all the ways that idea could go wrong, and the bad outweighed the good.

“No. No, Bokuto—“

“Come on, (L/N), let me help! I know Akaashi better than anyone, we’re best friends! I wanna do this for you, come on, let me!”

Bokuto was relentless on and off the court, and he was hard to argue with. He did know Akaashi the best, you’d give him that, even while you were friends with the quiet setter as well. Being team manager with Yukie really did have its perks.

And Akaashi really was too pretty for his own good.

You could benefit from Bokuto’s help, even if something would undoubtedly go terribly wrong in the process.

“Fine,” you relented, resulting in loud cheers, the sounds drawing the attention of the people eating lunch around you.

You exchanged a weary look with Yukie.

“I hate you,” you said, and she smiled.

“I know.”

Your eyes flicked back to Bokuto, who was bouncing in his seat.

“I have a plan.”

You put another bite of rice in your mouth. If this was going to be as insane as you thought it was going to be, you’d need a full stomach.

“Tell me.”

————————

Bokuto’s plan was horrible.

The first one he gave you involved you just walking up and kissing Akaashi, but your use of some choice language in response to that made Bokuto change tactics.

“Go into a closet—“

“No.”

“I could lock—“

“Bo!”

He groaned. “Let me talk!”

“Then stop giving me plans that could result in me being utterly humiliated!”

“Fine! Then try this. Just get him alone after practice and ask him to walk you home.”

You frowned. “We do that every day anyway. We live two houses apart.”

“Toss him some sets!”

Yukie made a frustrated noise. “I’m going to lock you in the club room.”

You gave her a fearful look. “Me?”

“No. Bokuto. But maybe you if we can’t come up with something.”

You closed your now empty lunch box. “So you’re in on this too, now?”

She grinned. “I’ve always been in on this.”

Anger simmered in the pit of your stomach. “Did you tell him on purpose?”

“What?” Yukie said, then paled. “No. That really was an accident. All I’m saying is I support you.”

“Well,” you sighed, “that’s something, I guess.”

“Lock you in the club room!” Bokuto cried, and the expression on his face coupled with the triumphant tone in his voice made it seem very much like he’d struck gold.

You paused. “What?”

“I was joking, Bo,” said Yukie.

“No, but it could work!”

It could. But you were pretty sure Akaashi had a key, so it would be kind of useless to put him in a situation he could easily get out of. And, to further this, you also had a key. Bokuto pouted when you relayed this to him.

“Come on, (L/N), let me be your wingman!”

You rolled your eyes. “Isn’t that what I’m doing? All you’re giving me is stuff like ‘lock yourself in a closet.’”

“It could work!”

The bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period, and you stood up, stretching your arms above your head.

“I’ll see you guys at practice,” you said, “text me if you get any new ideas.”

————————

Practice was somewhat of a nightmare. Of course, it went as well as it usually did, the gym full of Bokuto’s victorious shouts and Akaashi and the other club member’s sarcastic quips. But that wasn’t the problem. Every time something needed to be fetched or the water needed to be refilled, either Yukie or Bokuto, usually with matching grins, suggested you go with Akaashi. Akaashi, of course, shut this down fairly quickly since he had no need to assist you with such menial tasks.

But Bokuto didn’t stop there, no. It was too much to hope a hurricane would stop in its path.

Because during a break, Akaashi approached you.

“Is there any reason why Bokuto is constantly asking me to compliment you?”  He said as he dried his face with a towel.

You furrowed your eyebrows, dread sinking into the pit of your stomach. “He’s doing what?!”

“Asking me to-“

“No, I heard you. I just can’t believe he’s doing that.”

Akaashi blinked, oblivious to the situation. “Is there a problem, (L/N)?”

You sighed. “Yeah. No, I don’t know. This is a mess.”

From what Akaashi told you, Bokuto had started showering you with random compliments, then asked Akaashi if he agreed.

“I just want to know why he’s doing that. Do you think he has a crush on you?”

You shook your head. “No. This is… It’s something else. I don’t really want to talk about it, sorry Akaashi.”

He looked worried all of a sudden. “Is there something wrong?”

Your eyes went wide. “No! I’m fine, really. I just— I can’t talk about it.”

“Why?” Bokuto said, strolling over, and you deflated, “do you not trust him?”

“Bo,” you warned, speaking between gritted teeth, “not. Now.”

“Isn’t this what winging is?”

Akaashi looked deeply confused. “Winging? What is that supposed to mean? Did you make up a word for spiking?”

Bokuto seemed affronted. “No! I’m her… Her man wing—“

“It’s called wingman, Bo,” you muttered.

He was going to give you away.

“Tell him, (L/N), he thinks you’re pretty, smart-“

Akaashi blinked. “You asked me what I thought about that, Bokuto.”

Bokuto faked shock. “So you don’t really think those things?”

“I never said I didn’t.”

Bokuto gave a squawk you could only assume was a cry of victory. “See? See, (L/N) Akaashi thinks you’re pretty! You gotta tell him, tell him now!”

You looked at Bokuto with pure murder in your eyes, and he seemed to falter.

“Tell me what?!”

“Akaashi!” You cried, “talk to me outside, would you?”

You looked sharply at Bokuto.

You buried your head in your hands once you were outside. “ I might as well just come out and say it, because we both know Bokuto isn’t about to quit. That massive meathead is trying to be my wingman because he found out I like you today.”

You sent Yukie a murderous look as she passed the open door, raising your voice a bit as you spoke. “Because someone told him.”

She looked sheepish.

You closed the door, only breaking eye contact with her when you couldn’t keep in anymore due to the new barrier between you.

“Well, that’s fine,” Akaashi said, “I like you, too.”

You worried your lip between your teeth. “I understand if— Wait what?”

Akaashi looked at you blankly. “I like you too, (L/N).”

You were at a loss for words. “You never gave me any signs that you liked me too.”

Akaashi leaned against the door. “I walk you home every night.”

You frowned. “We’re literally neighbors.”

“That’s beside the point. Why do you think I bring you breakfast to eat while we walk to school?”

You blushed. “I thought you were being nice.”

“No,” Akaashi stepped forward, letting his hands fall to your shoulders, “no, (L/N). I like you. You’re an incredible person, and I thought I was making myself clear with my advances.”

Well, you decided, you were a dumbass.

“Wanna… Go get something to eat sometime?” You asked, voice quiet, and Akaashi nodded.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

He kissed you, and you swear you forgot how to breathe, that you forgot your own name. You sighed softly, reaching up to thread your fingers into his hair. Akaashi was an intense young man, and kissing him, even if it was simple and innocent, was just as intense. You felt him wrap his arms around your waist with a heartbreaking tenderness, nose brushing yours as his lips pressed and ghosted against your own.

It was cold outside, but you didn’t care, not when his lips were so soft and gentle.

The door opened abruptly and you heard a shout that could only have belonged to Bokuto. You felt Akaashi smile against your mouth before he pulled back.

“I am the best wingman!” He cried, “Hey, hey, hey!”

You laughed. It felt good to laugh, especially when Akaashi was still holding you so close.

“You are, Bo,” you confirmed, resulting in more cheering.

“Akaashi got a girlfriend!” He shouted as he ran inside, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Is that what you want to be?” Akaashi asked, and you nodded.

“Yes.” You were unable to hide your grin.

“Then it’s official.” Akaashi kissed your nose, then stepped back.

“I will hold your hand when we walk home.”

You blushed at his bluntness. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“Nice pun!” You heard Yukie shout, and you groaned.

“I hate both of you!”

You didn’t. But the smile that ghosted Akaashi’s lips as you said the words was worth it.

So was the burning kiss he gave you after practice, and the feeling of his hand in yours as you walked home.

Maybe having Bokuto’s help, as disastrous as it had been, wasn’t so bad after all.

[seijorhi]

Acts of Devotion

👀 i um 👉 👈 i hope this is okay...

Akaashi Keiji x Female Reader

TW blood, gore, violence, murder, dub con, nsfw

Akaashi loves you.

He’s known that for a long time now, probably from the very first moment he laid eyes on you, back when you were both just wide eyed first year uni students, wildly out of your depths.

A lot’s changed since then. For one, he now gets to call you his, and it’s his arms that you return to at the end of a long day, his house that you both live in. It’d be a lie to say that it doesn’t bother him that he wasn’t your first love, but he’s contented himself with the knowledge that he’ll be your last. Your only great love.

The only one that matters.

But it hasn’t been without its challenges. He’s learned a lot about love since those early days, about what it means to truly devote yourself to somebody, to give everything you have for them.

Love essentially boils down to two things, Akaashi’s come to realise - sacrifice, and forgiveness. 

You always look so beautiful when you’re sleeping. Of course, Akaashi thinks you’re beautiful all the time; when you’re smiling and laughing, when your face is screwed up in petulant anger, when those pretty eyes of yours well with tears and they glimmer and shine - but there’s something about the peaceful expression, so soft and unguarded when you’re asleep that inexplicably draws him in. 

There’s a part of him that wants nothing more than to stay, to reach out and brush away the hair that’s fallen across your face, pull you closer and let sleep drag him under, but he can’t. 

Not tonight.

Instead he cranes his neck to press a kiss against your lips, a small smile tugging at his lips when you let out a quiet mewl in response. He loves you so, so much… that’s why he has to do this.

He’d forgive you anything. You know that, don’t you?

Sure, it hurt him when he found the messages. Scrolling back through your text history, it was like somebody had grabbed him by the throat and plunged a knife into his gut, twisting it for good measure.

Kaito i don’t know what to do

i love him but lately it feels like idk he’s being a little controlling i guess? 

… but maybe i’m just being paranoid?

He knows it’s not entirely your fault. For all the amazing qualities you possess, you are remarkably naive and so very, very impressionable - which worked to his favour in the beginning, he’ll be the first to admit, but now…

Now it’s becoming a problem.

You haven’t realised yet that everything Akaashi’s doing - it’s all for your own good. 

Your family wanted you under their thumb. They always asked too much of you, guilt tripped you whenever you tried to stand up for yourself or set boundaries. They’d never be happy for you, not truly. It hurts, he knows that, but some people don’t deserve to be in your life, especially when they treat you like that. 

Your job was causing you stress, and your boss was an arrogant, nasty piece of work. His salary is more than enough to support you both, why put yourself through that if you don’t need to? Aren’t you happier now that you don’t have to trudge into that office every day and pretend that it isn’t making you miserable?

Your friends were bad influences. Jealous of your relationship for one, but they were also petty, self absorbed and vapid, always trying to drag you down to their level so you wouldn’t ever outshine them. You’re better off without them, why can’t you see that?

Akaashi’s the only one you’ll ever need.

And he really thought that he’d solved that little problem, but apparently not. He supposes he shouldn’t be surprised that out of all of them, Kaito’s the one who’s been the hardest to shake. An old friend of yours from high school, Akaashi had known within five minutes of meeting him that he was head over heels in love with you and had been for a long, long time. 

He can’t blame him for that. You’re beautiful. Perfect. Entirely his. It’s painfully obvious that even before he came into the picture to sweep you off your feet, you’d never so much as looked twice at the guy. So Akaashi was more or less content to let his somewhat pitiful one sided crush on you slide. Considering that he had absolutely no intentions of letting him or any of your other friends remain part of your life for much longer, it was hardly worth wasting energy thinking about.

Until, that is, he read the messages that Kaito’s been sending you.

Leave him

I’m serious. 

My sister had a friend who was with a guy like that. She had to get a restraining order because he wouldn’t let her go - it got scary… You can come stay with me. I don’t want you getting hurt :(

It’s that last one that bothers him. Not the attempts to lure you away from him under the guise of being a safe haven from your ‘dangerous’ boyfriend, painting himself as your knight in shining armour - mildly irritating if not a little amusing - but for putting the idea in your head that Akaashi would ever hurt you.

That he can’t forgive.

He won’t have you look at him with fear in your eyes. 

Akaashi’s never tried to deny that side of himself, but he’s kept it from you, locked it away and buried it deep. The things he does… you’re too pure for that. He loves you, loves the way that your eyes still soften when you catch sight of him, the warm, trusting naivety that bleeds out of your every pore. If you knew what the hands that caressed you so gently had done, would you still beg for his touch?

You wouldn’t, he knows that just as he knows that even if you were to uncover the truth, he wouldn’t let you go. He can’t, you’re his.

Is it really so selfish of him to want to preserve that innocent naivety? 

But it seems like now he’ll have to indulge once again, and Akaashi, really, truly can’t say that it bothers him. Killing other people has always thrilled him, made the blood in his veins race… Killing other people for you, oh, that’s going to be a whole other level of pleasure he can’t wait to explore. 

The pads of his fingers trace the curve of your jaw for just a moment. “Back soon,” he whispers, gracing your cheek with a feather light kiss.

You’ve never asked why the door to the basement locks from both sides, he doesn’t even think you realise that the walls are soundproofed. Tonight he’s grateful. You won’t wake up, he’s almost positive of that, but Akaashi has no desire to be gone from your side for any longer than absolutely necessary.

He usually prefers to take his time. 

His first kill was more of an accident than anything else, there was too much blood, he panicked and it was over in the blink of an eye. There wasn’t time to savour it, to really enjoy the sight of the light leaving their eyes, the weak, desperate struggles and whimpers, the tantalising fear that inevitably bleeds into the air, growing more potent by the second - even the strongest break eventually. He’s learned since then how to draw it out, how to have fun with his work.

But he doesn’t have that luxury tonight, and, as he keeps having to remind himself, this isn’t about his pleasure.

Guns are quick. Messy. Akaashi’s never really taken a liking to the crude, graceless weapon. He prefers his knives. 

Waving a gun in somebody’s face gives them the idea that they’re going to die, and there are only so many times that you can shoot somebody before they just… bleed out. It’s not nearly as satisfying a death. A knife, on the other hand, brings with it more opportunities. It isn’t death that his victim becomes worried about, at least not initially, but pain. And as his hand glides over his collection, Akaashi decides that Kaito is due for a little pain.

I love him, you’d texted. I love him. I love him. I love him.

That’s what he’s trying to protect. 

Long, pale fingers wrap around the handle of his chef’s knife, (eight inches, sharp - a familiar, comforting weight in his hand) and he takes a deep, steadying breath.

Kaito’s mouth is taped shut. Akaashi doesn’t want to hear a filthy word out of those lips. His hands are bound behind his back, his ankles tied to the old, wooden chair. He’s good with his knots, the more Kaito struggles, the tighter they pull. And judging from the ugly, purpling shade of his hands and the tears leaking from bloodshot eyes, he’s been struggling for a while.

Good.

Akaashi smiles as he strolls towards his captive audience, fingering the straight edge of the knife. Kaito doesn’t try to speak, but the muffled whines and sobs grow louder with every step closed between them. The fear and tension in the air is palpable. 

His breath is little more than a frantic wheezing by the time Akaashi stops in front of him and drops into a crouch. Cool, gunmetal blue eyes meet Kaito’s deep brown ones, blown wide with terror.

“I’m not the monster you think I am,” he admits quietly. 

Looking up at him from beneath long, dark lashes, a faint smile on his lips, Akaashi could almost pass for an angel if not for the gleaming kitchen knife in his hand. Kaito pales, his entire body going taut as his gaze slides from Akaashi’s face to the gleaming blade in his hand. He shakes his head in desperation, another muffled scream escaping his gag-

Akaashi strikes fast, like a viper. The blade plunges into the meat of Kaito’s thigh and without an ounce of mercy, Akaashi yanks it back towards his knee.

The scream that rips through the air sends a pleasurable shiver of warmth down his spine, and his tongue darts out to wet his lips as he feels the muscles beneath him convulse. The gash isn’t too long, maybe a few inches, but it’s deep and Akaashi’s smirk only grows as warm blood gushes from the wound, coating his hand in slick vermilion. 

He tugs the knife free, rewarded with another choked howl from his captive as more blood sprays. Bound to the chair, there’s not a whole lot of room for Kaito to move, but it’s somewhat amusing to watch him try to thrash, escape the white hot agony radiating from his thigh through his entire body. It’s hard for the human body to comprehend that level of pain, and from experience, Akaashi’s well aware that it won’t take long for his body to go into shock and simply shut down from the blood loss, and once that happens, he won’t be of much use to anyone. 

Kaito’s trembling, face pale, his skin clammy. Impossibly black pupils swallow his irises whole, erratically tracking his captor’s every movement as Akaashi pushes himself to his feet and takes a moment to study him. Tears and bubbles of snot leak in a disgusting mix down his jaw, dripping onto his lap as he sobs against his bindings. It’s pitiful, seeing a man reduced to a whimpering, terrified wreck, but as the hand still holding his knife grips at his chin and yanks his face closer, Akaashi can’t help but gleefully drink it all in. 

Your would be knight in shining armour doesn’t look quite so strong and capable now, does he?

Akaashi doesn’t have much time left to make him suffer, but he can’t seem to resist trailing his fingers along Kaito’s injured leg, digging them deep into the ruined muscle - grinning wildly when he convulses and screams, arching up off the chair. 

There’s still so much that he’d like to do. He toys with the idea of taking his tongue, of carving his knife deep into his skin just to watch him whimper and bleed… but no. This isn’t about indulgence. This is about you. He has to have more discipline than that.

Dangling on the edge of consciousness, Kaito meets his gaze one last time. Maybe he senses that his death is close, or maybe he’s just searching for a last minute reprieve, mercy from the cold blooded killer before him. Terrified, agonised, delirious from the blood loss, he tries to speak - a plea, he thinks, or maybe just incomprehensible babbling, but his eyes burn into Akaashi’s, desperate and hollow.

Akaashi’s never been one for theatrics. He won’t waste more time monologuing while your friend clings to the last vestiges of life. If Kaito hasn’t guessed by now the reasons he’s ended up here, at Akaashi’s mercy, he’s far less intelligent than he gave him credit for, but he supposes that he owes him something, at least. 

“I love her,” he says with a small shrug, as if it explains everything.

And maybe it does. 

It hardly matters though, as Akaashi decides to finally end it with a vicious slice across his throat. Blood sprays like a fountain, splattering across the room and drenching him, Kaito’s body slumps in his seat, the last flicker of life slowly snuffing out, and Akaashi revels in the pure, sweet euphoria that floods his system.

He’s never killed anybody while you were home with him before. Normally he’s methodical, quick to clean up whatever mess is left behind. Tonight though, Akaashi doesn’t have the patience for all that.

He should at least take a shower, rid himself of the blood that soaked him to the skin, but the call of your arms, the sweet, soft floral scent he longs to drown himself in beckoning is too hard to resist. He sheds his clothes, casting them aside haphazardly along with the bloody knife as he stalks down the hallway to the bedroom. His heart is still racing, excitement drumming through his veins as he crawls onto the bed and slides the covers off of you.

Dimly, he registers that this is a monumentally bad idea, but all he can think about is the vivid memory of the light leaving Kaito’s eyes and you. Tonight, he killed for you, and it was exhilarating.

He doesn’t think he could stop himself even if he wanted to, and why would he want to?

You’re perfect, beautiful - his. Nothing and nobody will ever be able to separate the two of you, he’ll kill anybody who tries. 

You stir a little as Akaashi’s lips graze along your skin, his fingers sliding the silk of your nightgown up over your hips.

“‘Kaashi?” you sleepily murmur, trying to blink heavy eyelids open.

He wonders if you can feel the way his bloodstained hands are trembling as they ease your supple thighs apart. “Shh, baby,” he presses a kiss against your leg as he manoeuvres himself between them, “It’s okay, go back to sleep.”

Let me take care of you. 

He needs this.

[cno-inbminor]

domus

a/n: here we have another short drabble dump! i wrote this up very quickly -- i’m still working on that long fic i’ve been talking about! i apologize for taking so long to put it together. pls take this short fic as an apology for now. stay hydrated, wear your masks, and be safe! love you all so dearly <3 

plot: when kuroo tetsuro drops the hard-hitting truth that he’s fallen out of love with you, your first thought is to escape. but you find comfort in the least likely person: akaashi keiji, a boy you had grown up with out of forced family interactions, who always seemed so distant from you. yet you probably knew more about him than anyone else. 

characters: fem!reader, ex-bf!kuroo, & family friend!akaashi 

wc: ~3.7k, will probably have other parts in the future.

genre/warnings: angst with dashes of fluff; mentions of alcohol

pt. 2 | pt. 3

edit: now crossposted to AO3!

When you’re in love, you spend weeks and months wondering why time won’t stop. You sit and ponder over why you’ll have to die someday and leave behind the person you’ve dedicated your entire soul to, or what might happen if your death came early and you didn’t get to say goodbye. You wonder why the seasons seem to pass you by so quickly, that in the blink of an eye, you go from enjoying a cup of iced tea on the porch to holding a mug of hot chocolate inside watching snowflakes swirl in their journeys to the ground.

But when love ceases to exist, time seems to stop. The days drag for longer, the seasons crawl at a turtle’s pace, and the inevitable end feels less terrifying. You no longer fear the eventual sagging of your skin or the spider legs that grow at the corners of your eyes. You no longer cling onto a hope that there will be a lover’s hand holding yours at your bed of eternal sleep. You simply become, just you. Solitary, single, independent you.

It’s no longer you and someone else. The realization stings so badly that it physically hurts you, a whimper leaving your throat. You shakily reach over for the next blouse and fight back the tears, teeth gnawing at your bottom lip. The skin is chapped and broken to the point that you would need layers and layers of chapstick to save any semblance of it, a terrible habit that you wish you hadn’t possessed. It’s muscle memory, the way you fold the blouse in half, fold the sleeves in, bending it over your arm before it lands in a neat stack of other tops in your suitcase. Your eyes take a glance at the clock, and you gather you have about another hour before you needed to leave for the airport and make it on time for your flight.

You ignore the male figure hunched over on the edge of your bed, tuning out his pleas and broken promises. He begs you to give him time, to implore that it’s all his fault and he’ll make it work for the two of you. Tetsuro promises that he didn’t mean to and that it wasn’t anything you did, but you feel so empty inside that you can’t even find the energy to argue, to turn on him and say that he was pretending to take all the blame so it’d be a better explanation to all your friends. A relationship involves both parties, and while there were special exceptions, this wasn’t one of them. Something was clearly wrong with you, and you were okay with that. You were just tired of Testuro attempting to take everything onto himself.

“I thought it’d be best to come clean with you,” he says, throat hoarse from lack of hydration. “I know you would question it and I haven’t done anything, I swear, I know you’re amazing and don’t deserve to live a lie and—”

“Do you want me to say ‘thank you’?” You interjected quietly, morosely. Your hands slide open the underwear drawer and take out a week’s worth of underwear, bras, and bralettes. “Do you want me to express my gratitude in your honesty for telling me that you don’t love me anymore? You can easily buy a trophy online and make the inscription yourself. ‘Most honest man alive’? Is that what you want?” You ask, tone flat and not possessing the least bit of amusement and humor.

“Can’t you give me some time? I’ll try, I’ll try to figure out what went wrong, and I can love you again. We can still get married and everything, but please don’t leave.”

“I’m not leaving forever, Tetsu. I’m just gone for a week, maybe more.”

“Where are you even going?”

“That’s none of your business,” you quickly reply, defenses back up as you make a beeline for the bathroom. You pick up all the toiletries you can, the ones that would be allowed in your carry-on. Strangers won’t care about your missing skincare routine and your complexion not looking its best.

“What if you get lost? Or kidnapped? What if people ask—”

“Easy. Just tell them I had a last minute business trip, family emergency, whatever floats your boat.”

“Can’t you see that I’m trying? I—”

“This isn’t just about you!” You snap, whirling around to look at him for the first time in the last hour or so. Testuro notices with a pang in his heart that your cheeks have sunken in slightly since he broke his revelation to you just last week, the eye circles darker than ever. But your eyes are soulless, dead, no shine or spark that he’d wake up to every morning even muddled with sleep.

“You can’t just expect me to be okay and continue to bend over backwards for you without question. The least you could do is give me my time, give me some space to think about all of it. That’s the bare minimum.”

And with that, you zip your suitcase shut, grab your passport (even though you probably don’t need it), keys, wallet, and phone, and walk as quickly as you can to the front door. The scheduled Uber will arrive in just a few minutes, and as you slip into a pair of flats, you can hear the creak of the bed and Testuro’s padded steps nearing you.

“Just be careful, okay? Call me if you need anything, anything. You’re still one of the most important people to me, so just – text me at some point. Let me know you’re alive at least.”

“You need to rest. You’re on call tomorrow,” you digress while opening the door.

“(Y/n)—”

“I’ll text you. Promise.”

And the door shuts behind you.

-

Your relationship with Akaashi Keiji is…hard to explain. In fact, you’re not even sure what to refer him as in your life. Anytime you spoke of him or attempted to explain, you’d fumble over words and draw blanks. While it was irritating and aggravating at times, you learned to just accept it.

Akaashi Keiji was the neighbor down the street, two years older, and someone who had known you since you were 8. Your moms were attached at the hip not longer after you moved to Tokyo, and that meant holidays were spent together, impromptu get-togethers and dinners were a common occurrence, and you saw him frequently at school. He was a quiet soul, gentle, but reserved. In fact, most of the things you knew about him were secondhand conversations from your mother talking about the family, because honestly his mom was basically your second mom now, and your mother trusted you with everything. His past, his troubles, his personality all relayed through your mom from his own, and when you saw him in the hallways, he wasn’t much of an enigma to you. Many other girls had found the mysterious air around him to be attractive, that the pretty setter who only ever smiled around his volleyball team and kept a tight circle of friends had something significant beneath the layers.

Keiji grew up with you, playing Smash on the Wii to pass time as your parents gossiped away. Sometimes, you’d play an intense game of Monopoly with him, a game that typically tipped in his favor. He never said much about himself, always relayed more about others that overlapped in your lives. The most he ever spoke to you about was when it came to teachers at school, even giving you some of his old notes and pointers. But even you could tell that he kept his guards up, and you wondered if he even classified you as a friend.

Your go-to explanation of Keiji’s standing in your life was a family friend. But that insinuated you were close with him, which you weren’t at all. No matter how many times he walked home with you (mainly at the pushing from his mother), no matter how many times he was forced to entertain you at dinners and holidays, no matter how many times he gave you a small smile in school, there was such a large gap between the two of you. He always seemed so different around his team, like they had the privilege of knowing the real him, and at times, you felt…jealous.

And the weird thing is that you can rely on him somehow – whether it be because he’d get an earful from his parents if he didn’t help you when you asked it or out of the goodness of his heart, he was simply always there. Sometimes, you were bold enough to text him about a show he talked about in the past, and he would reply quickly as if your unexpected, rare text about something benign didn’t faze him at all.  

Yet despite the distance, despite the lack of any semblance of an actual friendship with him, he was the first one you thought of when all this happened. He was the one you wanted to see – maybe it’s because he was the closest thing to home, and you didn’t want to go back to your parents explaining everything. It’s been a while since you’ve been back in Tokyo, ever since you moved to Sapporo for your job and Testuro got matched for a residency at a hospital there.

At 7PM on a Friday afternoon, past the baggage claim with the sunset beaming in through the sliding glass doors, you stare at Keiji’s contact on your phone, thumb hovering hesitantly over the call button. You could count the number of times you’ve called him on one hand, but this was an emergency, right? Is this why your heart is pounding against your chest, so anxious that you feel like you’ll break into a cold sweat any time soon?

You jump into the deep end.

Your hand nervously brings the phone to your ear, waiting with bated breath as the dial tone echoes in the chamber of your brain. Part of you wants him to miss the call so you can avoid this awkward conversation, but another part of you desperately wants him to pick up as if he’ll be able to save you.

Oh god oh god oh god, you panic as the tone stops, there’s a pause, a rustle, and then a hesitant, “—Hello?”

You didn’t plan this out. You’re not ready for this. Shit, what are you supposed to say?

“—hello? (Y/n)?”

“Have you had dinner yet?”

Wow, you’re a terrible conversationalist.

“…um, I haven’t actually. I was about to warm up some leftovers?”

Your eyes focus on the taxis driving by, picking up passengers as they get waved down. Maybe you should just find a cheap hotel nearby, continue this conversation tomorrow.

“Well…I’m in town, actually. I just landed about 30 minutes ago and realized I didn’t have anywhere to go and I don’t really want to call anyone else and I don’t exactly know who else to call so I just, um, thought about calling you and asking if you’ve had dinner? Which if you’re busy and stuff, that’s totally fine, I should’ve texted you beforehand instead of springing this on you and—”

“(Y/n), it’s okay, alright? It’s okay. I’m not busy, so you can stop by. Did my mom ever give you my address?”

Keiji’s brief attempt to calm you down works, surprisingly. You allow yourself to take a deep breath despite the stale airport air, but it was some much-needed oxygen. This is going to be okay, Keiji doesn’t hate you quite yet.

“N-no, she never did.”

“That’s fine, I’ll text it to you. My place is about 30 minutes from the airport, I’d recommend getting a taxi instead of an Uber. I’ll order some delivery—”

“Oh, you don’t have to—”

“You still like the miso ramen from that shop not far from your house, right? They opened up a second store not far from where I live.”

How did he remember that? You’re pretty sure your own mother had forgotten that fact by now.

“Y-yeah, I do,” you smile to yourself. “I still think about it sometimes.”

“Sounds good then. Get here safely then.”

“Okay. Thank you loads again. I’m sorry for all this—”

“Don’t worry about it. Keep me updated, see you later.”

“Yeah, bye.”

Not 30 seconds later, a text arrives to your phone with an address, a keycode for getting past the main door, and other relevant instructions.

-

Keiji’s apartment is exactly as you expect it to be – prim, proper, neat almost to a fault, with minimalist decorations. The apartment complex he lives in is rather high-end, if the security guards standing outside the main entrance indicated anything. You almost feel completely out of place or like a bug on the wall as you step in after him, a rather comfortable silence between the two of you. His kitchen is spotless and almost sparkles back at you, and the only thing that seems out of place are the containers of your ramen he so kindly ordered for you.

“Your place is really nice, it’s really…you,” you comment, setting your stuff down at the door. Keiji indulges you with a quiet laugh, making sure that there wasn’t anything that would be in your way. His glasses are perched on his head, an old monochrome t-shirt on his shoulders and sweatpants hung low on his hips, yet in this apartment that almost seems like it should be in an interior design magazine, he looks at home. His ethereal beauty, the softness in his eyes, the gentle up-turned strands of his hair – he belonged here.

“The ramen came not too long ago, so it’s still hot. I’ll go ahead and put it together, you can put your jacket on the couch.”

“Oh, thank you.”

Instead, you fold your jacket over your suitcase and quietly make your way into the apartment. Straight across from you are doors to a balcony – darkness had long taken over the city, so you see nothing but your reflection at first. But as you near the plexiglass, the reflection disappears into the view and you almost gasp from the beauty of it.

Blinking lights, flashing billboards, and the brightly lit Tokyo Skytree peer back at you. It only hits you now how much you’ve missed home, and that even though Sapporo was one of the largest cities in Japan, it still wasn’t Tokyo.

“I never get tired of it,” Keiji chimes in while carrying your bowl of ramen to the dining table.

“It’s an amazing view, I can see why you’d live here,” you reply while moving away from it. The table also has two empty wine glasses, and just as you’re about to ask him why they were there, he returns with a newly opened bottle of chardonnay.

“I haven’t had a lot of time to restock the wine fridge, but I knew I was going to kick myself for not having a bottle of that dessert wine we had before you went off to college,” he said with mirth and amusement. “You remember that one?”

“Yeah,” you nearly splutter, almost flushing that once again, Keiji was remembering details about you that you didn’t even know. “Your mom wanted to throw me a graduation dinner and you made it back in time after finals. And she had a bottle of it and between the two of us, we probably drank most of it. Our parents said it was too sweet.”

He nods and sits across from you, elbows on the table as you mutter, “Itadakimasu,” and start eating. You finish your meal silently for the most part, making small talk here and there. Keiji refills both of your glasses and the two of you sip the wine demurely, and while he seems okay with the lack of an explanation, you’re struggling to find the right words.

“So what’s with the impromptu trip to Tokyo? Are you going to see your parents?”

“Should I try to lie to you?”

“It’s up to you.”

Oh, okay then.

But he looks expectant, as if he knows you wouldn’t lie to him – in fact, you’ve never lied to him before. There was never any need to, but did that just mean neither of you ever cared enough?

“Something happened with me and Testuro. I don’t want to bore you with the details, but at the end of the day…I just needed to get away, as cliché as it sounds,” you laugh brokenly. Keiji continues to carefully observe you with a stare that you can’t escape. “I don’t want to tell my parents – you know them, they’ll ask a million questions. Without thinking, I booked a ticket to Tokyo and…now I’m here.”

That was a lie. How are you supposed to tell Keiji that he was the first person you thought of in an effort to run away? You and Keiji have never gotten personal before, he made sure of that. The last thing you want to do is weird him and scare him off.

“…did he cheat on you?” Keiji asked. His voice is darker in his inquiry, deeper than you’ve ever heard before. He has his hands folded in front of his lips and his eyes harden. Testuro may be an old friend to him, but you were in his life longer.

“Nonononono,” you quickly wave off. This isn’t the time to slander your…boyfriend? Could Tetsuro still even be your boyfriend if he no longer has any feelings for you? “Nothing like that.”

“That’s good to hear. If you want, you can tell me another time then. You’re welcome to stay here until you go back to Sapporo.”

You look up at him, eyes incredulous. Could Keiji really be this comfortable with you?

“I wouldn’t mind staying tonight, but I can stay in a hotel for the rest of the week that I’m here.”

“Nonsense,” Keiji refutes, standing from the table and taking your wine glasses to the sink. You follow with your bowl and he starts washing them before you can even offer. “Mom would kill me if she knew I let you pay for a hotel when I have a perfectly functioning bed you can stay in.”

“I mean, if it’s not a bother…”

“It’s not. The futon’s pretty comfortable, I’ve definitely fallen asleep on it plenty of times.”

“We can switch, I would never let you sleep on the futon for a whole week.”

“If you say so then. But for tonight, you can take my bed. Let me grab you an extra towel so you can shower. I’m sure you’ve had a long day,” he says while drying everything off, folding the kitchen towel neatly before heading off to his room. He returns with a large, soft grey towel and you shyly take it from him with a word of thanks, but he stays there in front of you, waiting for something.

“I’m really glad you picked up the phone,” you whisper softly, feeling the effects of the alcohol. You’re entering uncharted territory for the two of you, and this could either kill or strengthen this odd distant friendship. “I meant it when I said I didn’t know who else to call. You were the first person that came to mind and just…I don’t want to make this weird, like you can kick me out,” you begin to ramble. “Don’t feel like you’re obligated to take me in because your mom would be disappointed if you wouldn’t, you’ve already put up with me for over 15 years and it’s fine, I can be on my own and—”

Smooth, calloused hands delicately hold your face, large palms and nimble fingers cupping your cheeks. Your words die on your tongue as Keiji stares straight into your eyes, holding your gaze until your breathing calms down to a steady, languid pace. “You’re my friend, (y/n). So it’s good that you called me.”

“I’m your…friend?” You ask unsteadily, feeling a sense of disbelief.

“Yeah,” he confirms with the corners of his lips turning up slightly. “We’re friends.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. Now go shower.”

“Okay.”

-

You’re fast asleep before Keiji finishes his own shower, his bedroom door left ajar as the hallway light beams through. He pauses in the midst of drying his hair with a towel, letting it bunch and hang off his neck as he cautiously pushes the door open. Keiji notices your even breathing and how much more relaxed you look in sleep. You’re curled up on your side with the blanket pulled up to your face and he can’t lie: it’s adorable and cute, and he shouldn’t really be thinking these things.

He sits on the edge of the bed in the little space that’s provided, lithe fingers reaching out to brush back a few stray wisps of your hair. Watching you sleep pulls him back into a fond memory he’s kept of the two of you, one that might’ve held very little significance to you but meant something so much more to him. He knows you know him well, he knows how much his mother babbles on about him, and adults were more prone to gossip than the rowdiest of teenagers – he’d be painfully oblivious if he didn’t think you knew that much about him, or more than the average friend.

But it’s comforting to him, sometimes. Knowing you, how kindly you think of others, he might not have to explain what he’s feeling in the moment. You would be able to know, and that soothes him to some degree.

Maybe he had a little bit too much wine as well, but ever so subtly, motions steady and unhurried, he deftly leans closer and closer until his lips brush the apple of your cheek. He lingers for no more than a few seconds and sits back up, gazing at you before standing. His hands adjust the blankets and make sure you’re properly tucked in. He pads away, shutting the door behind him as quietly as possible as to not wake you.

And when he’s found a comfortable position on the futon with his most comfortable throw blanket, he realizes, begrudgingly, that this week will fly by too fast for his liking.  

[kodzukenscorner]

Atsumu, Sakusa, Ushijima, and Akaashi’s S/O who has a deep voice (NSFW)

anon asked: Hi can I request atsumu sakusa ushijima and akaashi female s/o who has a deep voice and is kind of insecure about it? (maybe nsfw if it's possible?)

a/n: so this isn’t full blown NSFW but there is some suggestive content here

wc: 1,339

✶   ✶   ✶   ✶   ✶

Atsumu

Atsumu is the kind of person who just naturally likes to tease people

So at first he’ll sometimes tease you about your voice but the second he realizes that you’re insecure about it, he immediately stops

Literally the last thing he wants is to make you feel bad about yourself because he thinks you’re an angel

He doesn’t want to say that out loud but it’s the truth

He’ll do a 180 and start hyping you up and complimenting you like there is no tomorrow

Truth be told, he never really cared about what your voice sounded like before

But when he started complimenting you and saying how much he loved your sexy, husky voice he kind of developed a...uh...kink

He awakened something in him he didn’t even realize was there

Now he is literally obsessed with getting you to make as much noise as humanly possible when you guys are in bed together

It didn’t occur to him before but your voice is a huge turn on for him

Even if you’re someone who doesn’t make a lot of noise in bed, he does not care and will do everything in his power to make you moan

He has always been someone who is obsessed with hearing people moan and call his name, but something about your voice makes him feral

Such a little shit in bed 

“Come on sweetheart, I know you can do better than that. Who’s making you feel this good?”

He’ll slow down and even pull out completely if you’re adamant about not making any noise

The second you let go and moan out his name he is not going to let up

His stamina is basically superhuman once your moans start spilling out without any restraint

He’ll pound into you and whisper so many praises in your ear

He likes to leave kisses and hickies all over your neck as a physical reminder of how much he loves your voice

Sakusa

This man does not take much notice of your voice

Yes he can tell you have a deeper voice than other women but it doesn’t really register in his head that this could be something you would be insecure about

He doesn’t really notice it until you start holding back on your words or you try to talk in a higher tone

Then he starts to get suspicious

He’s not dense though so he quickly puts the pieces together in his head and he realizes that you might be insecure about your voice

But he’s not the best with words so he struggles to reassure you that you have nothing to be embarrassed about

If he notices your voice starting to get quieter he’ll tell you to speak up and not be afraid

Because he’s such a quiet person himself, you can understand the intention behind his words

He’s much better at showing you how much he cares though

Sakusa is usually a quiet person in bed so you would follow his lead but he started encouraging you to make more noises lately

He’ll nip at your neck and move slow to try and elicit more sounds out of you than normal

He’ll slowly push into you until he bottoms out

He’s a pretty big guy so the agonizingly slow pace of taking him all in always manages to draw some soft moans out of you

It isn’t until he pulls out almost entirely before slamming back into you does he realize how much he likes hearing your moans

You let out a sharp yelp that was a delicious mix of pain and pleasure and he is immediately hooked

He starts trying different positions in bed to get more screams out of you

The first time you moaned his name out like it was a prayer he let out a whimper of his own

It surprised you so much that you completely let your guard down and started moaning his name repeatedly 

He shockingly did the same and started moaning a mix of curses and your name

It was quiet but his lips were right by your ear so you didn’t miss any of his addictive sounds

The two of you forgot all of your fears and worries together and just got lost in each other, not worrying about anything else

Ushijima

Ushijima is a lot like Sakusa, he knows you have a deeper voice than most but doesn’t see why that should be something to be insecure about

He’d realize it a bit slower too

He just doesn’t understand why you’d be insecure about your voice?

He’s also got a really deep voice compared to other people and doesn’t see anything wrong with that

He’ll tell you that time and time again

He’s not the best at expressing his emotions but he loves you and thinks you’re a beautiful person 

He wants you to feel confident in yourself but he struggles a bit with using just his words

Constantly reassures you by giving simple compliments whenever he can 

But the more he thinks about it, the more he begins to feel attracted to your voice

When you wake up in the morning and your voice is groggy and raspy he gets really turned on 

You call out his name and say good morning and it’s like flipping a switch for him

Immediately attacks your lips and pins you down into the bed

His hands wander and he’ll suck on your collarbone until your moaning out in that gravelly morning voice

He’s hard almost instantly 

You don’t really know why he’s so turned on and when you find out it’s because of your voice you get so flustered 

“Why are you embarrassed? I keep telling you that your voice is perfect”

For someone who isn’t great with his words he sure does know how to make you melt sometimes

Ushijima always sets a brutal and fast pace when you two have sex but he always manages to make everything feel so pleasurable 

You finally let yourself moan out without worrying about how you sound

And he rewards you with the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had

Akaashi

Finally! Someone who has more than one braincell!

So Akaashi immediately notices your voice and that’s one of the things that attracts him to you in the first place

He thinks your voice is so enchanting and lovely and he loves hearing you talk

But when he gets really quiet and lets you lead the conversation, you get shy 

This does not go unnoticed by him and it takes him .5 seconds to conclude that you must be insecure about how you sound

He wastes no time and takes your hands in his

He kisses every single one of your knuckles as if they were made of glass while whispering how much he loves hearing your voice

You can try to brush it off but he will not let you, he’ll pull you close and start placing more featherlight kisses along your cheeks and jawline

“Your voice is beautiful and I love hearing it, especially when you say my name”

At this point he’s sucking on a particular sweet spot on your neck and your mind is getting hazy with lust

“K-Keiji...”

Big mistake there

The second he hears you half whisper half moan his name he’s pushing you down and stripping you of all your clothes

He has to hear more

His lips feel so good on your skin you almost don’t notice when he dips down between your legs and starts kissing and suckling your clit

At this point you don’t care about how much noise you’re making and start calling out his name

He groans against your throbbing core and licks and sucks without any sign of slowing down

When your orgasm washes over you the only thing that comes out of your mouth is Akaashi’s name

He moves his way back to your neck and you can feel his erection against thigh

“I love your voice, don’t try and hide it from me anymore”

[dayables]

4 and Shin? That's a dark one, but you write him well so I'd trust you with it. If you want something lighter instead, 17 for Shin!

Thank you for asking this! As you can see, I got into a very deep ramble about his life pre-death game and it doesn’t really tie in but I’ve kept it there :)  The last few parapraghs are the actual answers ahaha. Play some sad music in those paragrapths because I nearly cried with halloween music in the background.    4) What they would do if they had one month to live.   If Shin had one month left to live? We see it in the game kind of. Or at least kind of. Obviously imitating your ‘scary friend’ most likely abuser to try and turn everyone against your biggest threat isn’t going to work in real life. 

What the game and his 0.0% score does tell us (or heavily shove in our direction so we infer it) is that Shin is petrified of certain death to the point of desperation.

I do believe/headcanon that he is a very logical person. Almost everything he does is backed up by logic in the death game except for his last moments because screw logic that’s never worked before.  (The opposite of Keiji who’s likely very emotional until his potential last moments but this isn’t about him). So the question is, when did Shin’s last moments begin for him?  As the player, it’s when it’s that final choice between him and Kanna. To Shin this is likely a very different response. His last moments start the very second he gets told he’s doomed to die. Almost all of Shin’s choices in the game are emotional. Trusting Sara or at least earning her trust is the logical choice here. Making yourself her enemy because you are scared is the emotional one. He just lies to himself on the basis that she’s untrustworthy. Which, you can trick yourself into believing is logical.  It triggers a kind of flight or fight response in all our characters when they realise they can die here. All the cast barr Shin choose to fight and try and escape. Shin chooses the flight option here. Nothing he does actually prevents his death in the end. He just runs away from the inevitable doom. 

 I am once again inferring by comparing him to rest of the cast the death is a deep rooted trauma (and I definitely have thoughts on why). While the concept of death is one that scares everyone, no one seems to revel in it the way Shin does. He is living an incredibly safe life. A free lance programmer (by the sounds of it)  which earns an average of £60 an hour. He has a side job at a convenience store (that wasn’t a lie). He doesn’t leave his apartment much meaning he doesn’t have much of a social life. Shin is in a position in life where it’ll be near impossible to hurt him. Obviously he isn’t earning 60 quid an hour, but he has the potential too. Once he’s set up and successful, he’ll be able to die old. Alone, maybe not happy, but old.  For a guy likely in his early to mid twenties, things are bound to change but only as much as he lets them. From one person who will happily spend all their life in their own company to another, Shin isn’t going to change that. Not when he’s too scared to let someone past arms width and will avoid doing so. By the time he gets his game together and his skinny self to therapy it’ll likely be too late to make the same connections he has the chance too at his current age.  It’s not emotional because even the most introverted of introverts desires a life all alone. It’s a logical one for the fears and life he has. I don’t think that means he isn’t happy. It just thinks there’s a potential that he could have been happier. 

For Midori to have gotten as close as he was and no one to pull up the red flags his friends either didn’t care or didn’t exist. Most likely the latter seeing as he is very much in the process of mourning three years after his friends death. He likely wasn’t close enough to his parents to feel he could go to them over something as silly as Midori’s death. In the aftermath, Shin will be confused and muddled. In some ways, he’ll be elevated because he is free, he can move on. In other ways he’ll be lost, devastated and empty. Shin will also have a semblance of independence back. He doesn’t think he shows enough gratitude to his parents for materialistic items. Midori’s abuse was likely emotional or verbal. It probably consisted of vague threats, put downs, anger, power dynamics and a shrug at Shin’s emotions. I’m in no way a professional but after years of this Shin is going to think his emotions are something he should be able to handle himself, something he might not be able to do if he started to repress them in his teens. Shin likely has a warped sense of independence. Instead of being free from others control, he’ll likely think it means he can’t get help and must deal with everything alone. 

Being told that his death is round the corner strips two things that he values most away from him. He now has zero control over his life and worse, it ends with him dyeing. Shin would grasp for straws to have that independence back and therefore escape his own death. If he couldn’t get his independence back then he’ll try and avoid the end outcome. 

His last month would be a goose chase to avoid death. There’d be a list of everything he has to do. Fuck his jobs, fuck debt he needs to get to the hospital. Get checked up! Make sure he’s well. He’d do it everyday. Does he have enough medicine? Wet wipes, stock up on healthy food, hand sanitizer? Does he have enough hand sanitizer? Make sure his room is squeaky clean, don’t let anyone in, don’t answer the phone. Bolt the windows and live off ramen and debt for the rest of the month. Beanie on, beanie off, what is he going to die from? Has he prevented any possible cause? He’s forgotten to call his parents. That’s fine because he shouldn’t be dyeing anyway. It’s logical. It’s all logical. This is not his fear of death speaking through everything he is doing is logical! Now he just needs to figure out what’s causing this all? How did that person know? Then on the last day. He’d just give up. He’d finally pick up that phone and call his parents. He’d thank them and explain. He’d apologize for the debt because he’s swimming in it then he’d hang up. Shin would then proceed to cry in bed all day and trying to sleep so he just doesn’t wake up.  Then, while it’s a tragedy, I think he’d accept it. I don’t think he ever really thought he had a chance but his emotions drove him round and round in circles. Maybe he would regret his whole life and look back on it all. In a none death game scenario Shin seems like a brooder. He doesn’t have Kanna to live for so he has no reason to push forward. I think in the end he’d reach the conclusion his life was pretty pointless. Just as he’d slip from consciousness I imagine he’d think of Midori. Nearly everything we know about Shin seems to revolves about Midori . We, the player, never know him before the guy entered his life. That guy has a big impacts in his life and in a world where that was the only person to leave such a big mark? I think he’d go back to Midori. Especially with nothing to distract him from his mourning. 

It’s quite sad really. He lets his fear control him too much. Midori controls him too much and they’re both aware of that fact. But in the short, Shin would try and avoid his death. Hell he’ll likely die of exhaustion or caffeine overdose

His ending in the main game, I think that’s the best way Shin could have gone at that age. Dying for Kanna and letting go of his cynicism. 

Ending this off with 17 because I need that jokeness now, after all that. 

17) What would they sing at Karaoke? 

Everyone expects Shin to like bang out with some Beyonce or something. Maybe one of those silly little disney parodies. Everyone would make a joke about what he should sing because he’s indecisive as hell. 

Keiji Kai and all of those mature adults suggest Single Ladies,  Mr. Brightside,  Fireworks, Wannabe because classic Karoke songs you actually have to be able to sing when Shin 100% can’t? Count them in! 

Midori would suggest something embarrassing he knew wouldn’t even be funny to watch. Just painful. 

Gin, Sara, Reko and Alice are snickering behind their hands as they suggest Poor Unfourtunate Souls,  How Bad Can I Be (Alice ended up doing that one), The oogie boogie song and the price Ali reprise. 

When he refuses Sara refuses to let him get away with not being painted as some corny villian and dedicates her singing of Cruella De Vil to him.

Then Kanna taps on his shoulder and tells him what to sing and A: It’s Kanna’s suggestion B: It’s not and a bonus C if he’s drunk: He gets to whack a certain police officer and teacher with a hockey stick. 

And my inner theatre Kid shines through as he I say Shin sings Revolting Children and can’t get his letters write, drunk or sober. 

‘R e v o t l i n !’  instead of ‘ R E V O L T I N G’ 

‘S P L L!’ instead of ‘ S P E L’ 

‘TOO LATE FOR YOU?’ Instead of  ‘ 2-L-8-4-U ‘

I kid you not I have knows this song for years and I still struggle. You can not do that spelling rhythm first time. 

Also the lines. The lines!   We will become a screaming hoard.//Take out your hockey sticks and use it as a sword.// Never again will we be ignored.//We'll find out where the chalk is stored// And draw rude pictures on the board.

It’s such a childish song but it’s so hard. He struggles and struggles and one day he will get it because it’s so simple and why can’t he do it roght! Also, it suits him. Sue me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6PXm34OBP8

[cryoculus]

Lunaris [1/11]

Navigation

Chapter Title: New Moon Pairing: Yokai!Akaashi Keiji/Reader  Word Count: 1,841

***

In the most abstract sense, you supposed that you wouldn't have half your problems if you'd just gotten over your fondness for Bokuto Koutarou.

But it was easier said than done, really. He wasn't the brightest student in Fukurodani, but he certainly glimmered with his own unrivalled passion for the sport he loved the most. The megawatt smile that grazed Bokuto's face when his spikes flew past the opposing team's faces was something that made your heart flutter like hummingbirds' wings beating against your rib cage.

His excitement, his exhilaration—it's as if they were your own.

You were painfully aware that you're not the only one that was ensnared in his optimistic charm. You've seen other girls shyly ushering themselves inside the gym; red-faced and flustered as they gave Bokuto packed bentos, love letters, and even homemade chocolate. The difference between you and them, however, was that you were aware that Bokuto wasn't like any other teenage boy easily swayed by his admirers. No, he was on a one-track mind headed straight to the Olympics.

"You sure you have a crush on him, (Name)?" your best friend, Itsumi, sighed. "Way to keep up with the competition."

The question was probably warranted by the sudden influx of girls crowding outside the gym. And while that wasn't too strange a sight, there were more of them than usual. The bentos and chocolates were replaced with presents enclosed in cute wrapping paper and tied with ribbons that may have spoken volume about their taste in color.

When you felt the satisfying burn of the stretch on your hamstrings, you assumed a sitting position on the grounds. "I don't really have time for that, you know, with the competition drawing closer."

"So?" Itsumi frowned, undoing the knot on your right shoe just to spite you. "I bet my entire life that he would adore your cooking! Those girls can't even make a proper bento for shit—"

"Sumi," you reprimanded.

She groaned, scratching the back of her head with annoyance. "All I'm saying is, not only does Bokuto-san actually remember your name, but you're the captain of the track team! If there's anyone who can keep up with his energy, it's you ."

The moment Itsumi said the words, your gaze was caught by a familiar head of bouffant, black and white hair. Bokuto was chattering with his vice captain, Akaashi, as they made their way towards the gym—completely oblivious of the company that's camping out to anticipate his arrival. His golden eyes glittered with enthusiasm as he spoke, his setter seeming unbothered but not apathetic of his senpai's animated story-telling.

"There is one guy," you muttered to yourself.

"Bokuto-san, happy birthday!"

"Happy birthday, ace!"

"I hope you like our presents!"

Itsumi hummed in understanding as you raised an eyebrow at the brewing crowd. "Eh? So it's his birthday! You're a shitty admirer, (Name)."

"Shut up," you told her off as you got up to your feet to dust off your training clothes. The rest of your teammates were yet to finish up with their respective warm-ups, so you placed both hands over your mouth to speak over the swooning females a few meters away.

"Run twenty laps around the oval once you're done. Anyone who can't beat their previous records gets five extra." Your command was met with disappointed groans and pleas for mercy, but none bothered to protest against your words. Though they could be a couple of slackers at times, the team took your threats at face value.

You headed over to the oval before anyone else, leaving Itsumi behind to gossip with the rest of your third year teammates as you prepared to time your run on your wristwatch. The sun was hanging low in the horizon, painting the sky with a resplendent orange glow that momentarily distracted you. Practice started quite late for all athletic teams today because of that unnecessary school-wide activity, and you didn't get why you're the only one that's feeling the urgency to catch up with the missed hours of practice.

The air still carried the traces of summer in the breeze, blowing past you in sweltering intervals. But the temperature would be the last thing to deter you in training. You've built up a stamina that could be mistaken for a professional runner's, and have been told numerous times that your endurance was inhuman. You'd even daresay that if you challenged Bokuto, himself, to see whose endurance would last longer, you'd still come out on top.

Once you'd completed a single lap, you let your eyes wander back to the gym, where the throng of the ace's admirers has considerably thinned. Bokuto's carrying an armful of poorly wrapped birthday presents as he spoke to the last of the girls with a sheepish look on his face. You scoffed, thinking about how futile their efforts were.

But then, you felt yourself make a wrong step on the oval, causing you to lose your footing and trip on your own feet. The dust of the bare grounds settled around you as you processed what just happened with wide eyes. Your right shoe did feel a little loose, and that's when you realized that your damn laces were untied—

"Hey! Are you alright?"

As you double-knotted your shoelaces, you looked up at who was checking up on you, but your eyes nearly bugged out when you were greeted by the sight of Bokuto running towards you with the abundance of gifts still secured in his arms. Only this idiot would go out of his way to do that even when he's literally got his hands full.

"It's not like you to just trip up like that," Bokuto pointed out in-between laughs as he awkwardly offered his arm for you to grab onto. Declining, you pulled yourself back to your feet with your own effort, thanking him hastily.

"Bokuto-san, please don't bother the track team when they're training," followed the monotonous sound of Akaashi's voice, who emerged behind Bokuto at a lethargic pace.

You've never really batted an eyelash towards the second year. Though Akaashi was pretty for a high school boy, he didn't strike you as anything more. With an abundant energy source like Bokuto standing next to him all the time, it was normal that your attention would be nabbed, right?

But in this proximity, the sight of the otherwise uninteresting setter caused a shift in your focus for a moment. You didn't miss the way his normally expressionless eyes lit up with recognition once he saw the small bell strung around your left wrist. Most people would mistake it for a hair tie, but it was actually a warding charm given to you at a young age. Why would Akaashi look like he was familiar with it?

"I apologize for Bokuto-san's impudence," Akaashi ducked his head into a slight bow. "He does get carried away by trivial things at times."

"Eh?! She tripped out of nowhere, Akaashi! I'm just concerned..." the ace sulked with a pout, uncharacteristic of such a ripped athlete like himself, as he adjusted his grip on his birthday presents.

Multiple footsteps could be heard headed your way, and when you glanced behind you, Itsumi and a few of your teammates rushed to the scene.

"Are you okay?" she asked, lightly slapping your cheeks. "No concussion?"

"Concu—Sumi, what are you talking about? I tripped, that's it."

Kazuto, one of the younger members of the team snickered into his palm. "Itsumi-senpai's acting like she wasn't the first to burst out laughing when you tripped, captain."

"Yeah, cap. She couldn't believe you forgot to tie your laces," said Saiko, who shot Itsumi an accusatory stare.

You narrowed your eyes at your ever-so whimsical of a best friend. Deciding that you'll lay divine punishment on her later, you turned to the boys from the volleyball team with an apologetic expression. "Really, I'm fine. Thanks for checking on me, guys. Don't you have practice, too?"

Bokuto shook his head. "The coach laid us off for the day. Konoha just told me it was rude to blow off the girls waiting for me at the gym..."

"Whoa," Kazuto gaped at him in awe. "I want to be that popular, too!"

"The first step to achieving that is to put your back into training, Kazuto," you told him with a sigh, restarting your timer in defeat. "Come on, we've only got an hour of training left, you pests."

"Yes, captain!" your teammates responded with a tone dipped in mockery. You could feel your exasperation reaching a fever pitch at this point. Oh, the things you'd do just to get the chance to whack them in the head one by one.

"(Surname), we'll be off," Bokuto informed, grinning widely. "Be careful next time, 'kay?"

His words surprised you so much, you could only manage a minute nod to send his way, not giving you any time to relish in the blush that painted your face. Once he was satisfied with your response, Bokuto turned on his heel, Akaashi following suit without much input to the conversation. However, the setter did cast one last glance your way as he and Bokuto walked further away.

The moment your eyes met with his, you were seized by an uneasy feeling that gripped your chest like a vice. You were certain it was just a trick of the light, but you could have sworn those navy blues glowed with malicious red for a split second. The gasp that escaped you was followed by his mouth twitching into a knowing smile, like he was aware of the way imaginary flames seemingly scorched your heart at that same moment.

You crumpled to your knees, clutching your chest so hard, your knuckles turned white.

You were gasping for air without taking any breaths at all. It was as if someone poked holes into your lungs so you couldn't breathe. Itsumi dropped to the ground, slinging her arm across your shoulder to cradle your convulsing frame. She's shouting. Why was she shouting? Her voice sounded too far away for you to make sense of what she was saying, like you were separated by several layers of glass.

You were vaguely aware of the rest of your teammates crowding around you, concern and fear lining each of their gazes. Someone was shaking you by the shoulders, but the only thing you could focus on was the retreating figure of a dark-haired setter.

The sight of him made you feel warm, so warm... No. Something was burning you.

With your coherent thought process dismantled, it took you a moment to piece together that the scorching heat was coming from your wrist. Itsumi was arguing with someone. But you couldn't bring yourself to pay attention as you groggily raised your wrist above your face. There, you saw the small bell tied around it emanating a white hot glow. It looked so pure, so—

That's the last thing you remembered before the darkness engulfed your vision, leaving you at its mercy.

[wickedgamesoyaoya]

Come Back... Be here.

Pairings: Tooru Oikawa x Fem!Reader 

Genre: Angst 

Word Court: 1.6k. 

𝅘𝅥𝅮  This is falling in love in the cruelest way. This is falling for you and you are worlds away.  New York, be here. But you're in London and I break down cause it's not fair that you're not around.  𝅘𝅥𝅮

It was a lonely life, one you were forced to become accustomed to. Your fiancé of three years was constantly travelling due to work, and right now he was in Brazil. You tried to maintain high spirits, filling your free time with volunteering and work. But recently every morning, you dreaded waking up. The emptiness that was usually dormant had become active once more, nibbling away at your will to continue your mundane life. Your first thought was to partake in something spontaneous. An activity that would revitalize your very being.

“I’m going to buy a ticket to Brazil!” It was the first idea to pop into your head, Tooru would never see it coming!

“You don’t have the money for that, y/n.” Your best friend, Akaashi was studying diligently when he heard your outburst. It was only natural for him to poke a hole in the plan you assumed was impeccable.

“That’s.... true. I’ll have to pick up more shifts. I can do it.” A determined smile had fixed upon your glossed lips. It would be a surprise.

For the next month every second you had was dedicated to earning money. During one facetime call Oikawa had inquired why the bags under your eyes have gotten worse. He suggested that you buy a new skin care kit, oblivious of the real reason your skin no longer had a healthy glow.

But because of your new and hectic schedule, the two of you barely spoke to one another. At first you did not notice, your whole goal was to surprise him after all. He was the one thing on your mind. It was Akaashi who commented on the lack of communication.

“You and Oikawa haven’t been talking as much.” It was a mere observation from a concerned friend.

“Well, you know I’ve been busy!” You waved a hand dismissively.

“But... he hasn’t called you either?”

You stopped stirring the pot, realization starting to hit. It was weird. Tooru didn’t seem to be phased by the sudden lack of communication. He simply went with it, as if nothing had changed.

If your absence doesn’t matter, then your presence never did.

You knew that all too well. When you were a child you slowly drifted from your friends, and while the others were indifferent, you cried your heart out. It was your older sister who told you that quote.

Now, you had accidentally drifted from your boyfriend by trying to get closer to him. Your chest constricted, anxiety beginning to course through your veins.

“Keiji, can you finish cooking this for me?” Your voice was barely released in a whisper, and your best friend was immediately at your side.

“Go.” He lightly pressed against your back, shoving you out of the kitchen.

The second you reach your bedroom, you placed the phone against your ear, listening intently to the dial tone. He would pick up, right?

“Hello, y/n?”

You instantly feel the stream begin, tears flowing freely as you clutch the phone as if it were Tooru himself.

“Hi.” Was all you were able to utter back.

“... are you crying?” His tone was dripping with concern, which only made you cry even more. You had missed him so much, and you were terrified about losing him. What if he found someone in Brazil? Someone whose face wasn’t colourless and drained? Someone who was able to cheer for him at every game. Someone who wasn’t you.

“Come back. I need you to be here!” The plead was completely unintentional, as you were overwhelmed by the emptiness you had tried so hard to combat. It had been months since you kissed his lips. Months since you were able to caress his face... Months since you felt loved.

Your words are met with silence. He wonders what possessed you to make such an ridiculous request.

“Y/n, I can’t do that.” There was no menace in his voice, rather he sounded defeated. His volleyball career had always strained his romantic relationships. It was nothing new.

“You can’t or you won’t? Other players at least visit their significant others or call them whenever they have a chance!” You were unable to control yourself, for three years you were the perfect girlfriend and then fiancé. It was your goal to be the last person Oikawa Tooru loved. You wanted to be understanding, that was why you never voiced your pain. But now there was no holding back.

“Did something happen? Why are you acting like this suddenly?” If he was being honest, he would have admitted that he did slack as a partner, but only because you never seemed to mind. There were plenty of occasions where his team members would request time off to spend with their loved one, but not him. Volleyball always came first.

“Nothing happened. I keep waiting for you to put me first... but it’ll never happen.” Pinching your eyelids shut, you stumble back a few steps, forcing your back to meet the wall for support.

“Y/n, please. Let’s talk tomorrow when you’re calmer.” His voice used to sound better than your favourite song, and right now he sounded like a complete stranger.

“Okay.” It was suddenly hard to breathe, your lungs were refusing to continue accepting the air, as if it were poison.

“Goodnight. I love you.”

You don’t say it back, which hurts him. But in your head you think he deserves it.

How could you build a family with someone who never viewed you as a priority?

——

He didn’t call the next day, and neither did you.

You had received your final pay-check in the mail the next day and still found yourself at the airport, buying a seat on a last minute flight to Brazil. But your reasons for going had changed. On the flight you fiddled with the ring on your finger, occasionally removing it to read the engraving inside. ‘Yours forever’

A bitter laugh crawled up your throat as you choked back tears. Forever never lasted as long as one expected.

When you arrived it was morning, you knew he had a game scheduled in the evening, and decided to spend the day exploring. It wasn’t a cheap flight, you may as well make the best out of the situation. After buying Akaashi a souvenir, you visited a few popular tourist attractions. It was oddly refreshing being on your own in a new city. It also reminded you that you survived without him before and could do it again.

You managed to purchase some close tickets for the game at a fair price, another benefit for being a single person. Most people bought tickets in pairs, you used to do it too. But not anymore.

When Oikawa entered the court, there were various screams throughout the stands. You even saw some signs that were decorated for him. He seemed to be the most loved player on the team, not that it was surprising.

In the first two sets he failed to notice you. But when he was prepping to serve in the final set, his eyes landed on yours as he began his journey back to the ground. The second his feet connected to the laminated flooring, he stumbled back clumsily. He had not expected to see her. Her presence had thrown Oikawa off his usual rhythm, which almost cost them the final set. Fortunately, his team mates were able to adjust and stole a narrow win. 

At the end of the game, Oikawa had ran off the court, eager to find you. Within minutes he found you at the empty stands. A hand was resting on his chest as he attempted to catch his breath.

“Y/n? What are doing here?”

“I was saving up to see you. That’s why I didn’t call as much recently. That’s why there were bags under my eyes.” A sad smile tugged at the ends of your lips as realization fell upon the man you loved.

“I didn’t know. But I’m glad you’re here. Let me introduce you to the team.” Extending out an arm, he attempted to grab your hand but you quickly stepped away from his touch.

“No, Tooru. I don’t think that’s necessary. I have come only to return this.” As your hands began to tug at the symbol of your love, fear flashed in his caramel irises. Instinctively he grabbed your hands, stopping you from completing the movement.

“Please, y/n. I know.. I haven’t been the best fiancé. But I refuse to let you end it like this.”

“You aren’t the only person in this relationship, Tooru.” Your voice cracked as tears began to cloud your vision.

“I will be better, give me the chance and I'll prove it." To your surprise, there were tears blossoming in his eyes. This was the first time you had seen him cry since high-school. "I love you, please don't do this." Lifting your hands to his mouth, he dropped gentle kisses to your knuckles, only furthering your confusion. How could you turn him down when he looked so vulnerable? A sight so rare that you had to wonder if you were dreaming the entire event. 

Stepping closer to him, your forehead dropped against his chest in defeat. Swiftly his arms snaked around your waist, drawing your small frame against his. It had been so long since you were able to feel his warm embrace. 

"I love you, y/n." He pressed his lips against the crown of your head, and at that moment you were roped in once again. All you could do was hope this time would be different.

[hinshinotsuki]

🖤 Switched 🖤

***

***

One day prior.

 

***

 

"(F/N)!" A bespectacled woman called, trying so hard to let her voice be heard amidst all the noise. "Where did that girl go?"

"I don't know, Hange." Moblit half - spoke, half - cried. "But, don't you think we must go back now? She might be waiting for us there."

"Are you stupid? Of course, she wouldn't be there! And you can blame Shorty for that!"

But, try as she may, she couldn't do anything else but to give up in her pursuit of their female companion and go back to headquarters.

Dejectedly, the woman called Hange made her way towards her room. She was still thinking of what happened earlier that day when her friend and fellow Section Commander (F/N) (L/N) had a really big fight with Captain Levi of the Special Operations Squad. The headstrong woman argued so hard with both the Captain and the Commander about their upcoming Expedition and why it should not happen that she was understandably refused and dismissed. But, she still didn't budge and tried to persuade Levi instead, who only made things worse by bringing up her grievances and mistakes as a Squad Leader, that she was only alive because of the sacrifices of her comrades, and that she was the most useless person in the Legion.

The woman, whom Hange knew had strong feelings for the Captain, was hurt beyond belief that she started arguing with him, telling him that this time, she was right regarding the imminent failure of the Expedition. The Captain did not listen, making the woman beyond angry and frustrated. Strong and rude insults were soon heard being exchanged in that corridor. She heard her call things to the short male as she made her way outside the Headquarters for a drink.

Now, with the whole District in full celebration of the Feast of the Maiden of the Lake, an annual Wall Rose holiday, it was totally fine for one to drink his or her heart out.

But, Hange knew that her friend would soon cause trouble for other people if she got too drunk for her own good.

So, with Moblit on her heels, she looked for her in all the drinking establishments she could think of amidst the wild crowd in full celebration.

But with no such luck.

"Ah, (F/N)!" Hange exclaimed as she almost pulled her unkempt and still unwashed hair off. "Why would you have to argue with Shorty in the first place?!"

Really, why?

She knew her friend to be a bit of an eccentric when it comes to those horoscope things in the daily Berg,...

... but her trying to stop an Expedition and even arguing, and almost fighting, with both Erwin and Levi due to those silly old - wives' divinations?

That was really some kind of high insanity.

Besides, what was her agenda behind her strong opposition to the upcoming mission? She knew the real reason for the next sortie, being one of those Soldiers who survived the Fall of Wall Maria five years ago, but,...

... why?

Hange was still asking herself that same question a day later in the cafeteria as she waited for the attendant to fill her tray with the usual and boring soup, black tea, and hard bread.

"Oi." Called a low, familiar male voice that finally caught her attention. "You gonna let me pass or not?"

Hange snapped back to reality as she looked behind her and found the short Captain staring back at her and waiting for her to pick up her food.

"Oh, hi Shorty!" Hange said and laughed nervously, trying not to look distracted, but to no avail.

Levi just clicked his tongue in annoyance and looked past her. Then, as if not finding what he was initially looking for in the first place, he just shrugged his shoulders, took his tray of food and went past her like nothing happened.

Hange, who noticed this, grabbed her tray and immediately followed the man.

"Are you looking for (F/N)?" Hange asked him, still trying to keep up with his pace.

"Why would I go looking for that spoiled brat?" He just answered in his signature monotone.

"Oh." Disappointed, Hange just practically collapsed on the chair just beside Levi's. "I thought you would be looking for her,..."

"For what?" Levi snapped and took a sip of his black tea, still irritated of what happened the day before.

"Well, you know, to calmly talk things through,..."

"Four Eyes," Levi said as he slightly slammed his cup down on the wooden table. "You know fully well that things would never be the same as before. And she knows this. You, as her friend, must know this, as well."

"You're right." Hange replied and finally dropped the whole topic as she took her spoon. 

Everything went on according to the schedule that extremely boring and normal day. Training started at seven in the morning and ended at noon. It was immediately followed by lunch, an hour - long rest, then separate Squad discussions at three in the afternoon regarding the next mission, as planned.

But, still, no (F/N) and her bossy self.

"Hange, I know (L/N) to be a bit of a slacker at times," Abel, one of her subordinates brought up. "But I never knew her as one who would simply take missions like this for granted."

"I agree." Answered Keiji as he unfolded the visual aid made by Moblit. "Where is she?"

"I don't - "

But, even before Hange could explain, a teenager with blonde hair, one among the new recruits from the 104th Southern Trainee Squad, came towards them. He saluted at Hange and waited for her to give him permission to sound off.

"What is it, Arlert?" Hange patiently asked the boy.

"It's Squad Leader (L/N)!" The boy called Arlert squeaked.

At the sound of her friend's name, Hange's spirits lifted, but she also could not ignore the feeling of dread that just washed over her.

"Have you seen her?" Hange asked him.

"I just thought, but no, it couldn't be! I - "

"Arlert, calm down!" Hange began shaking the boy's shoulders as she, herself, could not calm down.

"Hange, stop shaking the recruit!" Moblit shrieked and pulled his hysterical Squad Leader away from the nervous teen. "Arlert, where did you see her?"

"I'm positive she went towards that secluded lake near the old Headquarters last night. But, then - "

At the boy's answer, Hange quickly strode towards the barracks, not even giving the chance for him to finish what he was saying. She entered the building and flew past the other Soldiers towards Levi's office. And, as soon as she arrived there, banging the door open, she was met with six pairs of scrutinizing and scared eyes.

"Where are you hiding her?" Hange asked, insanity slowly getting the better of her.

"What are you blabbering about now?!" a curly - haired man, who deliberately imitated his Captain's fashion sense with the same white cravat, said. He was, unfortunately, grabbed by Hange, who was way stronger, by his collar, slowly and painfully suffocating the life out of him.

"I won't ask again! Where is she?!"

"Hange, you're going to kill him!" A little female with ginger hair tried to stop her.

"Hange! What insanity is this?!" Levi shouted at her, making the whole room shake with fear. Hange dropped the man on the floor and made her way towards the short Captain.

"You're coming with me!" Hange took Levi's arm and tried to lead him outside the office when the man shook it away and gave her a deathly glare, which did not affect her the least.

"Can't you see? We're way behind schedule!" Levi shouted at her, slowly drawing the attention of the other Soldiers outside the office. "We're supposed to escort that brat to the old Headquarters!" He said, then pointed at a teal green - eyed teenager, who waited at the corner of the room, confused.

"Then, I'm coming with you!"

No storm, war, or angry Captain was able to stop Hange from coming with the Special Operations Squad that day on their way to the old, secluded Headquarters, and as soon as they arrived on the said lake near the building, Hange sped towards it, leading her already stressed bay to the edge of the water, then dismounted.

"What is she doing?" the teenager, who was being escorted by the Special Operations Squad, asked.

"Hey, you're not allowed to ask questions here, brat!" the curly man, who was nearly choked to death by Hange, ordered. "Rookies like you should - uhh!" His speech was abruptly cut off as he bit his own tongue.

"That's what you get for yapping away on horseback." Sneered the ginger just behind him. "Oh, Eren, don't mind him! He - " But, then, it was her turn to be abruptly stopped as the Captain left her side to see what Hange was staring at on the Lake. "Captain!"

As Levi made his way towards the lake, he couldn't ignore Hange's strange look on it. It was as if something has made her rooted to the ground and petrified her on the spot. 

And when he finally dismounted and went towards her, he couldn't help but look at her wide eyes.

"That's,..." she began. "But, no. It can't be,..."

"Captain, we're running late - " Levi's blonde right hand man began, but, then, his eyes, too, were drawn to the lake, like Hange. "Hey! Someone's drowning!"

It was only then that Hange finally shot back to reality as the severity of the situation hit her hard in the face.

"It's (F/N)! She's drowning!" Hange shrieked. "Levi, save her!"

"What?!"

"Do it!" she pleaded frantically.

"But - "

"Can't you see? She's dying!"

"Alright!"

Levi hastily stripped from his green cape down to his cravat and dived unto the lake to retrieve the drowning person. And when he fulfilled his mission, all of them, including Hange, herself, were speechless as to what they saw: from long, (H/C) colored hair, to her (S/C) skin, it was, indeed, (F/N) (L/N).

But, what's different about her, aside from the fact that she's soaked to the bone and clinging to dear life, was her strange attire. She was wearing what appear to be a pastel - colored, ruffled, short dress made of an extremely soft fabric that they were unfamiliar of. Her footwear, which had long and pointy things at the soles, looked equally strange, and, what's more, she was wearing, on her left pinkie, a spectacular and fancy - looking ring with a blue gem on it, also unknown to them.

"What the hell is she wearing?" Curly asked, bewildered of her strange looks.

"That attire stenches of Sina all over." Blondie added, still looking at her strange dress.

"I've seen Wall Sina fashion," Hange told them as she helplessly watched Levi put the girl down on the ground. "I don't think it looks like that."

"Will she be alright?" asked the teenager. Levi just looked at her with worried eyes and started performing CPR on her in an attempt to save her. It was then that the boy noticed the look of disdain on their ginger - haired companion.

"What's so special about her?" he heard her whisper as she clenched her fists. He ignored her as (F/N) finally coughed and ejected the water out of her system. Levi was successful.

"(F/N)! (F/N)!" Hange kneeled down as she took (F/N) into her arms. The girl slightly opened her eyes before collapsing into oblivion.

***

🖤🖤🖤

***