#why is it so hard to draw disney serpents...

[raykunaraccoon]

Real busy week rn so won't be able to make much art or posts lol sorry:,)

For now have my...really shit attempt on drawing Finley.....oh my god😭😭😭

He looks so bad I'm so sorry i need to do him justice😭😭😭

[starberry-cupcake]

I’ve said this before but it’s fascinating to me how, in my opinion, a big reason why Disney’s Beauty and the Beast (1991) works so well as an updated adaptation is because it swapped the core narrative parallel from Cupid & Psyche (like Villeneuve and Beaumont had) for Pride and Prejudice. 

The wildest part is that I’ve never seen, in any of the books, dvds, interviews, notes or memorabilia I’ve ever collected, anyone from the production mention P&P as a direct reference, not Linda Woolverton, not Brenda Chapman, not Trousdale or Wise, and idk if I haven’t been looking hard enough, if it’s just me thinking this, if they're not aware they did it or if it was all Howard and he passed away before being able to give an interview about it. 

What I mean is, narratively-wise, B&B ditches the narrative structure of Cupid & Psyche that most fairy tales under the category of “animal bridegroom” tend to use and, instead, follows the P&P structure to a T, while filling in the gaps with its own characterization or elements from its predecessors (like Gaston coming from the Cocteau film, which is mentioned as a big inspiration many times).

P&P works with points of inflection for character development, because it’s a character driven novel in which the leads are changed and developed through their interactions, whether directly or indirectly, with each other. 

A Big point of inflection for Elizabeth and Darcy is the moment things reach it’s lowest point of decline: Darcy’s first proposal. In B&B this is mirrored through the West Wing scene. I could draw parallels of both and go into massive detail, but I don’t wanna make this post longer than it is already. 

The second point is the olive branch that starts mending the path and serves as a more honest communication: in P&P it’s Darcy’s letter and in B&B it’s the mutual rescue from the wolves. 

The third is the start of the mending process, which in P&P becomes clear in the Pemberley visit and in B&B happens through song, mostly in Something There and Beauty and the Beast. Again, could talk in length about this, but I’ll refrain.

The fourth is the separation, which in P&P happens through Lydia running away with Whickham and in B&B is because Maurice is lost in the woods. In P&P, Darcy finds Lydia and Whickham and pays in secret to save the Bennet’s name for Elizabeth’s sake and in B&B the Beast tells Belle to leave the castle, not letting her know that her leaving would condemn him to remain as a Beast forever. 

This is a very important point of comparison to me because this moment, the moment in which Beauty leaves the castle, is the key point in common from both fairy tales to Cupid & Psyche. 

Like in other fairy tales inspired by it (d’Aulnoy’s Green Serpent, for example), the leading lady breaks her promise and has to rescue the man she condemns and loves. The Beast asks her to come back, she doesn’t (for similar yet distinctly different reasons in either version) and finds him on his death bed upon finally returning, so she saves him. 

In 1991′s B&B though, there is no promise to break, there are no conditions for Belle, she’s free to go and the Beast does not expect her to come back at all. This removes any blame from Belle, which she had in the other versions, while still giving her the agency to save the Beast at the end, something that she does, in this version, without knowing that she could. 

The saving isn’t an attempt to mend a wrong she did but something that happens unknowingly, she was never aware of the conditions of the curse or her power in all of it, nor did the Beast expect her to love him back. Both Belle and the Beast think he’s dying. He’s happy to see her one last time, she’s sad to lose him. And then, she saves him. 

This “no conditions” moment erases the promise and relates the Beast more to Darcy’s secret actions, not meant to win Elizabeth over but because he cares for her truly; and Belle’s feelings are her own, not influenced by any sense of guilt or responsibility, much like Elizabeth’s. 

The fifth is the ultimate conflict, which is meant to separate but has the opposite effect and brings them together. In P&P, it’s Catherine De Bourg's visit to threaten Elizabeth and in B&B is Gaston’s raid to the castle to kill the Beast. 

The sixth and final is the declaration of true feelings or, more precisely, the leading lady’s moment to accept hers, given that Darcy claims his feelings have not changed and the Beast has already declared his love to the audience’s eyes. 

So, what I find most fascinating (aside from the fact that I love both stories) is how in the 1700s, there was a premise to follow in a myth and in the 1990s the premise to follow became (unknowingly? knowingly? coincidentally?) an 1800s novel, which became as much of a narrative footprint as myths of old. We keep telling stories that carry something of other stories we were nurtured by and I think that’s a really cool aspect of storytelling. 

[mst3kproject]

The Monster of Piedras Blancas

At some point I realized that I'd done an awful lot of fishman movies on this blog, so I decided I needed a tag for them.  I chose #it's beginning to look a lot like fishmen, after a rather amusing musical version of The Shadow over Innsmouth that you can find on YouTube.  Most of them are less fun than said video, and this one very much so.  It qualifies itself for MST3King by featuring Forrest Lewis from The Thing that Couldn't Die, Don Sullivan from The Giant Gila Monster, and Jeanne Carmen from Untamed Youth.

Some lonely people feed the birds or stray cats in their neighbourhood. The lighthouse keeper of Piedras Blancas doesn't have any of those, so he feeds the fish monster that lives below the rocks.  As long as he does this, it only occasionally kills people when they wander into its territory, but trouble begins when the grocer fails to save enough meat scraps to satisfy it.  Soon the hungry beast is lopping heads off right and left and draining the bodies of blood!  The local constable thinks he may have a homicidal maniac on his hands, but marine biologist Fred identifies a shed scale at the scene as belonging to a Diplovertebron, a beast thought to be long-extinct.

Diplovertebron is an actual creature with its own Wikipedia article and everything. According to said article, it was a lizardy sort of a thing that lived in what is now the Czech Republic three hundred million years ago, and was around half a meter long.  It's a very obscure and not terribly threatening animal, and I have a hard time imagining why the writers chose it, of all extinct creepy-crawlies, to be their monster's ancestor.  It doesn't even have a very interesting name. 'Diplovertebron' is quite technical-sounding and has too many syllables to roll nicely off the tongue.  Why not pick something that at least sounds scary?

The Monster of Piedras Blancas is a bloated, sedate movie.  It knows that movies need breaks between the actiony bits... but its actiony bits have no real action, and the talky scenes it inserts to space them out are deathly dull and contribute almost nothing.  There's a bit where two characters discuss a victim's time of death in great detail, taking into account things like a spilled bottle of ink, that would have reduced Joel to tears.  It almost becomes a joke when Fred and the Doctor discuss the minutiae of Diplovertebron scales, while the constable sits there growling impatiently at them.  When even your characters think the movie is too slow, you have a problem.

Everything that might possibly be exciting takes place off-screen.  This is fine and even expected during the 'building suspense' parts – of course we don't see the deaths of the fishermen or the grocer. The bit where we first see the entire monster, when characters open a walk-in fridge and it lumbers out holding a severed head, is honestly pretty well-done.  After that, however, we should finally get to see some monster-eating-people scenes... but since this is yet another stupid rubber fishman suit a la the She-Creature, all it's actually capable of is slapping a few guys and then fleeing.  It supposedly kills a couple of gun-toting rednecks, but the fight happens elsewhere while the audience watches Fred and the doctor fart around in a cave.  We don't see the monster again until it inevitably kidnaps the lighthouse-keeper's cute daughter at the climax.

The severed head is pretty plasticky and looks nothing like the guy it supposedly came from, but an effort was made and I respect that. There are veins sticking out the bottom of it and a really creepy bit where we find it in the monster's lair with crabs crawling over it.

As the movie draws closer to its climax, the men in the town sit down and have a good think about how they're going to defeat it. They know they can't overpower it, and it seems to be reasonably intelligent, so they've decided they're going to have to outwit it. Their big plan for doing so is... throw a net over it.

I expected this to fail spectacularly, but what actually happened was even dumber.  I will not spoil the last thirty seconds of this movie for you, because it's funny as hell, but let's just say that fishmen are like pumas – if you ever meet one in real life, you can just push it the hell over.

As you might have guessed, Lucy is only in this movie so that she can be saved from the monster and can kiss Fred as the words the end appear on the screen.  The only interesting thing about her is a brief moment of stunning misogyny.  She comes running to the doctor to tell him her father has had an accident and needs help – and before going to do so, the doctor makes Lucy take a sedative. Her behaviour was not in any way hysterical or unreasonable.  A little reassurance would have done the job just fine!

This scene suggests that the townspeople don't think very highly of Lucy, and there are other bits that tell us she's probably supposed to be at least ten years younger than twenty-nine-year-old actress Jeanne Carmen.  On the other hand, they seem to think she's capable enough to look after her injured father alone and with only a locked door to protect her from the marauding monster.  Then again, if they didn't, it couldn't carry her off to be menaced.  Yet again, a movie's leading lady is a plot device rather than a character.  This seems particularly true of fishman movies.  Think of the Creature from the Black Lagoon series.

As I mentioned upfront, I have seen a lot of fishman movies.  This is the fifteenth since this blog's inception!  I thought there were a lot of bigfoot movies around, but if you check the tags you'll see that fishmen outnumber him two to one!  This brings up an interesting question – namely, why?

Why fishmen? Sea Monsters have a long and fascinating history that includes not just the classic serpent and kraken but such things as savage merpeople, scaly pig-fish covered with eyes, and according to one sixteenth-century map, very large Yorkshire terriers.  Then along came the 1930s and the popularization of the Loch Ness Monster as plesiosaur, opening up the range to prehistoric sea beasties.  Why not one of those?

I'm guessing the answer is 'because they're expensive'.  Those would require puppets and stop motion and other special effects.  A guy in a costume is much cheaper to build and operate.

Okay, but even if you have to restrict yourself to human-shaped monsters, there are plenty of those, too!  There's the aforementioned merpeople, but also vampires, werewolves, zombies, mummies, and their ilk!  Dracula and Frankenstein are both in the public domain!  And make no mistake, people have made lots of movies about those... but they have also made a whole lot of movies about fishmen!  Why fishmen?

The answer, most likely, is that Creature from the Black Lagoon came out in 1954 and it was huge, being one of those movies that requires an entire separate Wikipedia article for its cultural impact!  The tidal wave of other fishman movies that followed it are like the glut of monster-on-a-spaceship movies that followed Alien, or the fad for teenage slasher movies in the 1980s, or those cheaply animated direct-to-DVD movies that cluster around every Disney and Dreamworks release.  A fishman movie had made money, and now everybody was lining up to milk the scaly, mucus-coated cash cow!

That was a terrible mix of metaphors right there.  Yuck.

There's also something uniquely horrifying about one of the genre's major tropes – the fishman's interest in human women.  This, too, began with Creature from the Black Lagoon but as we've seen it carried over into other films – Bog and Creatures from the Abyss are notable examples (and then there's The Shape of Water). In The Monster from Piedras Blancas this idea is present in that the monster kidnaps Lucy instead of just killing her like it did every other human it met, but it's not emphasized the way the monster's interest in Kay was in Black Lagoon. Fish are proverbially cold and slimy, and the idea of sexual contact with one is almost reminiscent of necrophilia unless you have some very specific interests (see previous parentheses).  The fishman's lack of genitals make it that much more disturbing.

So now that we've sorted that out, my final question about fishman movies is this: could a fishman beat bigfoot in a fight? They're both big, broad-chested creatures that movies like to outfit with claws, teeth, superhuman strength, and bad tempers.  I think it would depend on where the battle happened.  If they're in the water, then the fishman has a clear advantage – bigfoot can drown.  If they're on land, things are a little more even.  The fishman's slime would make him difficult to hang onto, but if his gills dry out he'll have a hard time breathing.  Bigfoot's fur gives the fishman something to yank, but his large feet make him hard to knock down.  It might depend on whether or not the fishman is venomous.

Why hasn't anybody made that movie?  Picture it – dozens of fishmen swimming upstream to spawn, and bigfoot dragging them out of the water to eat like bears with salmon!  I'd absolutely pay for exorbitantly expensive theatre popcorn if it meant I got to see that on screen!

[basementsushi]

Aurora - movie review

Movie: Sleeping Beauty (1959)

Would I recommend: No - the movie has some good moments, but overall it didn’t keep my interest. If I can’t relate to or don’t care about the main protagonist/antagonist in your movie you’ve got a problem. 

Had seen before: Yes (but couldn’t remember it)

Main movie, prequel, sequel, or midquel: Main movie

Theater or straight to video: Theater

Keep reading below for fun facts, my thoughts, and origin details (contains spoilers)!

Thoughts: 

They’re so rude to the blue fairy!

I feel like the fairies should be running an orphanage, they’re so sad they’re going to have to give Aurora back, and it seems like they loved raising her so much

Yikes, not a good sign that by the time we see the prince and his horse the horse is the most interesting character so far

Okay, the prince is more than a little creepy - he overhears Aurora singing and uses details from her song to get her to trust him and like him (a complete stranger). Also, this is Phillip, he was at least 8 (possibly older) when he met her as a baby, and she’s almost 16, he must be 24 (or older)!

Aurora is a bit of an idiot… she thinks she’s in love with someone she met once (she didn’t even give her name or get his!)

King Hubert is a butt! King Stefan is just excited to finally see his daughter after all these years, and Hubert is already pushing Aurora and Phillip to move away together

The music when Maleficent is luring Aurora away is so jarring, it fits the mood of the scene very well

The prince being ambushed at the cottage is the most interesting thing to happen in the movie (it’s the only bit that surprised me at all)

The fairies tell Phillip he will have to face the rest of the dangers himself (once they free him from the dungeon), then save him from the next four or five dangers with their magic - c’mon ladies, consistency!

Maleficent needs to get a hobby, she devoted almost two decades to revenge over an insult, and takes most of it out on people not even responsible for the original insult! (I prefer in the original tales where the “evil” fairy gives her curse and moves on with her life)

CHILDREN EXPLAIN TO YOUR PARENTS - Phillip’s dad is so confused and Phillip just ignores him, explaining nothing when he shows up with Aurora after having run off earlier

Why is no one questioning the dress repeatedly changing color?

Fun facts: 

Aurora is the only one of the official 12 that is a true blonde - Cinderella is a strawberry blonde, and Rapunzel is a natural brunette

Aurora is the only of the official 12 to have an abnormal eye color (her eyes are violet)

Once again a tale that has a Grimm and Perrault version! Disney draws from Perrault’s tale, but in my research I found not only Perrault’s tale of a sleeping beauty (“The Sleeping Beauty in the Wood”), but two others as well, an earlier tale (“Sun, Moon, and Talia” by Giambattista Basile), and a later tale (“Little Briar-Rose”, by the Grimm brothers). Imagine my surprise when reading them and realizing the Grimm version is the least dark of the three!

Origin: (Charles Perrault tale) In this tale a king and queen who desperately wanted children were overjoyed to finally have a baby girl. To celebrate a grand christening was held, and every fairy that could be found (seven in all) were invited to be godmothers. Beautiful settings were prepared for them, each was to be given a gold casket holding a spoon, fork, and knife, each made with gold and set with diamonds and rubies. Right as everyone was sitting down an old fairy arrived, one that had not been seen in so long most presumed her dead or bewitched.

The king immediately ordered another setting for her, but only seven golden caskets had been made, so she could not be given one. The old fairy, thinking she had been intentionally ignored, began to mutter threats to herself. One of the young fairies sitting near her heard her, and went to hide, so she could speak last and try to counteract anything the old fairy may do.

The fairies all gave beautiful gifts of talent and beauty to the princess, until the old fairy's turn. She declared that the young princess would prick her hand on a spindle and die. The last fairy, the one who had hidden, now came out to give her gift. She did not have the power to remove the curse, but was able to amend it, saying the princess would not die, but fall into a deep sleep, which would last 100 years, and at the end she would be awoken by a prince.

The king, hoping to avoid the horrible event, declared it was now forbidden, under threat of death, to use or keep a spinning wheel or spindle. Despite these efforts, when the princess was fifteen or sixteen and her parents were away she came upon an old woman in the castle spinning. Having never seen a spinning wheel she had no reason to fear it, and as soon as she went to touch it she pricked her finger and fell. Every effort was made to wake her, but it was no use. She was laid to rest in the finest room, upon a bed embroidered with gold and silver.

The fairy who had changed her curse soon arrived, and touched her wand to all in the castle except the king and queen, so that they were all frozen in time, only to awaken when their princess did, and all would be ready for her when she awoke. Shortly after the king and queen left the castle the fairy grew a forest thick with trees, brambles, and thorns around the castle, so that the princess would be safe and away from prying eyes.

A hundred years later the throne had been passed to a different family. One day while out hunting the king's son found the castle, and asked his attendants about it. Most told stories of evil magic, hauntings, or monsters, but one elderly attendant said her father told her that inside the castle lay a princess, who was waiting for a prince. This story emboldened the prince, and he decided to enter.

As soon as the prince approached the castle the thorns and brambles fell away. He made his way through the castle until he found the beautiful princess. Trembling he moved near her, and, the prince having come for her and the hundred years over, she awoke. Supper was soon prepared, and shortly after the meal was finished the prince and princess were married.

The next morning the prince returned to the city, and told his parents he had simply become lost in the forest for a time. His father believed him, but his mother was not fooled. She had noticed he was more often going hunting, and often spent nights away from home.

In the two years since their marriage the prince and princess had two children - the first a daughter, named "Dawn", the second a son, named "Day". All this time the queen was urging the prince to settle down or confide in her, but he was hesitant, as she came from a race of ogres (the king married her for her wealth), and was said to have a hard time resisting pouncing upon children. 

By the end of two years the king had died, and the prince found himself on the throne, at which time he publicly announced his marriage, and had his wife and children brought from the forest. Not long after the king declared war on his neighbor, and appointed his mother to rule and care for his family in his absence.

Not even a week had passed when the queen regent summoned her chief steward, telling him for supper the next day she would eat Dawn, with a piquant sauce. When the steward went to slaughter her (she was four by now) she ran to him, and he could not do it, and instead had her hidden. He served the queen regent a lamb instead, and she declared she had never eaten anything so good.

Eight days later the queen regent summoned the steward again, this time declaring she would eat Day (who was three by now). Day was hidden away, and the queen regent was served a young goat. She again said it was delicious, but her desires arose again soon, and she told the steward she wished to eat the princess, with the same sauce as her children.

The steward, not knowing what animal could substitute for her, made up his mind that to save his own life he must take hers. He faltered when he arrived in her chamber, and told her of the command he had been given. The princess (not knowing her children had been hidden) told him to do it, so that she may be reunited with her children. The poor steward, feeling compassion for her, told her she would be reunited with them, that they had simply been hidden away. He instead served the queen regent deer.

The queen regent, planning to tell the king wolves had eaten his family, felt quite satisfied. However, as she wandered the castle one evening she heard the cries of Day, and knew she had been lied to. She ordered a huge vat be brought to the courtyard and filled with snakes and serpents of all kinds so the princess, her children, and those who had lied to her could be thrown into it the next day.

As her servants were preparing to throw them in however the king returned (much sooner than expected). Surprised, he demanded to be told what was going on. No one dared tell him, and the queen regent, instead of confronting him, threw herself into the vat and was devoured instantly. The king was saddened, but soon found comfort and consolation in his beautiful wife and children.

[limitededitionsanderssidesblog]

Love Like You - Chapter 2/2

Ships: Anxceit, Logicality

Summary: Nearly half a year has passed since Virgil first walked into the Stork House and met mysterious and hardworking caregiver, Dexter Serpente, and the odd pair of eleven-year-old twins, Roman and Remus. Over the past few months, with weekly visits, Virgil finds himself slowly falling for both Dexter and the boys. However, shadows of his past and fear of the future hold him back.

This Chapter is twice as long as the last, so sorry in advance.

Chapter 1 AO3 - Here

- The sun began to set as the day grew sleepy. Cars filled the traffic lanes as working adults returned to their homes after a long day at their jobs. They honked and beeped their horns, impatient to get home; while Virgil honked his horn for another reason.

“The light is green! Get off your phone and drive!” Virgil shouted at the car in front of him that refused to move even though it had changed ten seconds ago.

He never did like sitting in traffic, but today it was even worse since they all had planned to take the kids to the movie theater to watch the latest Pixar movie. They ended up leaving the Stork house a little late since it was hard to corral ten kids into three cars. They almost had to cancel entirely because one of the other volunteer helpers couldn’t make it. Virgil quickly grew nervous about getting there on time, but his rushing around didn’t do much of anything to help the issue. Dexter called his other volunteer but they were occupied as well. 

Virgil nearly had a meltdown then, Dexter was also slightly panicking but he remained calm enough to soothe Virgil. Dexter then asked Patton if his boyfriend would be available to drive them to the theater, and, after a swift call, he was.

Logan came and took four of the older kids in his white Corvette, Patton drove his KIA and took four of the toddlers, while Virgil volunteered to drive the agency’s car to take him, Dexter, and Roman and Remus. A small argument between who should drive stalled them a few minutes longer, but Virgil quickly settled it by snatching the keys and bolting for the car. He felt a little guilty for acting so childish, but he felt that he needed to make it up for ruining the night.

“How much time until the movie starts?” Virgil questioned, speeding up a bit, but not too much that he’d risk getting a speeding ticket.

“Seven minutes,” Dexter replies looking at the digital tickets he bought online.

We’re still ten minutes away. We’re not going to make it. We’ll miss the beginning of the movie. I’ve messed it up for everyone.

Cue the shaking and shortness of breath to take over his body as his anxiety skyrocketed. Dexter noticed his panic and was quick to reassure and comfort him.

“The ads last fifteen minutes, we’ll make it on time,” Dexter said.

Virgil nodded his head, but only to not concern Dexter any further. The man already had so much on his plate and did so much for him, he didn’t want to be any more of a burden on him. Instead, he focused on the twins in the back talking excitedly about the movie they’ve been waiting to see.

“I can’t wait to hear the new songs!” Roman cheered, bouncing a little in his seat.

“There aren’t gonna be any songs, stupid. It’s a Pixar movie, not a Disney movie.” Remus chided beside him.

“Toy Story 2 had a song in it! And I’m not stupid, you’re stupid, stupid!” Roman argues back, sticking his tongue out at his brother.

“Idiot!”

“Dummy!”

“Boys! Quiet down back there!” Dexter demanded, giving them each a glare through the rearview mirror.

Roman and Remus stopped their little spat but continued to glare and make faces at each other. Virgil watched them in the mirror and smiled a little to himself.

It had been a grand total of four months since Virgil had turned the big three-one and realized that his chances of ever having someone in his life had escaped him, and when he admitted that he was not physically, mentally, or financially capable of adopting a child. Though, instead of accepting a life of loneliness filled with nothing but endless days at work and the occasional excursions with his two friends, Virgil decided that he would visit the Stork Agency at least twice a week to volunteer and be around the kids.

At that time, he had grown very close with the two eldest kids at the Agency, falling for their quirky personalities. Virgil would usually come on the days when Remus wasn’t allowed at school to help tutor him. He’d bring books on his grade level math, science, and English and help him with his homework. When he wasn’t tutoring him he’d read stories to him to help his reading comprehension. Improvement in his grades began to appear after three weeks of work and Virgil remembered the smile on Remus’s face when he brought home a C+ on a math test. Dexter had felt such pride over the score and even hung it on the fridge to celebrate.

When he wasn’t helping Remus catch up with the rest of his grade, he would play video games with him on the WiiU. Remus was a near master at Mario Kart and it was practically impossible to beat him, but when it came to games like Super Smash Bros, Virgil reigned champ. Dexter wasn’t much of a gamer and often just sat by and watched them play if he wasn’t too busy taking care of the other kids. The best part was watching Roman and Remus play together since they were both just as good and their matches went on for long periods of time in a tight struggle.

Although video gaming and reading stories were enjoyable, the most entertaining activity they liked to do was anything creative. Remus loved to draw, and while his drawings were at times weird and sometimes disturbing, he had a real talent for it. Roman, on the other hand, was a storyteller and liked to write scripts for his own plays that he would act out with whoever he could get to join him.

Four months may not be a long time to know someone, but Virgil already felt like attached to the boys, and watching them act silly was one way he was able to calm down. Although, the best way for him to calm down was by watching Dexter beside him parenting them. Even if he was annoyed or frustrated with them, he had a knack for handling the wildness that gave him a special kind of shine.

The twins were not the only ones who somehow worked their way into his heart over the past four months, despite his best efforts to keep it secured under lock and key.

Miraculously, traffic began to clear up and they were able to navigate through the city a bit faster. This put Virgil slightly more at ease, and he refused to look at the car’s digital clock to keep his anxiety down to a minimum. When they finally did arrive in the theater parking lot, Logan and Patton in tow behind him, Virgil raced around until he found a parking spot with empty spaces around so the others could park as well. 

Practically leaping out of his seat, Virgil opened up the door for Roman behind him, while Dexter did the same for Remus, and walked to meet up with the others so Dexter could do a headcount before heading into the theater. 

Dexter went on ahead to give the clerk their tickets, while Virgil led the children to the theater, while Logan and Patton went to buy the popcorn. Just as Dexter said it would, the movie trailers were still playing by the time they walked in. Virgil guided the kids to their seats, making sure to leave a few seats empty so that the other adults can sit around and keep an eye on them.

The movie trailers reached its final one by the time Dexter walked in and took his seat in front of Virgil. 

“See, I told you it would turn out alright.” Dexter smiled over his shoulder, turning to look at him from one row down.

“Yeah… it did.” Virgil breathed out, his heart rate still calming down from his near panic attack.

Dexter smiles once more, then turned back to face the front as the movie began. Logan and Patton walked it with everyone’s snacks just in time.

The movie was definitely a lot more interesting than Virgil had thought it would be, not that he thought it would be completely boring. The plotline follows the story of a young girl who accidentally stumbled into her father’s laboratory and travels into another dimension, where she believed he disappeared to when she was a baby. The young girl then seeks after her father in the strange world, making friends along the way, and drawing attention from, and being hunted by, the people who captured her father. In the end, she reunites with him, the meeting was emotional enough to jerk a few tears from more than just him, and they go home. There was even a song sung for Roman to enjoy, and just enough violence to keep Remus entertained, but not so much that it was majorly concerning. A little over two hours later, the movie ended and the adults had to, once again, escort a crowd of small children out of the theater, which was no easy feat.

Along the way back to the cars, Roman practically bounced up and down as he reported every moment of the movie that he enjoyed. Dexter held onto his right hand and Virgil held onto his left, walking closely with the boy in between them. Remus basically hung off of Dexter’s shoulders, having asked to sit atop of them when they walked out. Dexter looked tired and repeatedly told him to stop squirming around, but it did little to calm the energized eleven-year-old. The scene warmed his heart and Virgil nearly laughed out loud at how silly he looked. He desperately wanted to take a picture but didn’t want to appear creepy. 

On the road back to the agency home, the twins sat and talked excitedly about the movie in the back. In the front, he and Dexter sat in silence. Virgil wanted to say something, anything, but all his words got tied together whenever he tried to speak. Dexter made a few comments towards him, but Virgil was only able to reply in short, broken, phrases. By the time they arrived back, Virgil still had said barely two words to the other man.

Why am I like this? Why can’t I do anything right?

Logan and Patton pulled into the driveway and along the street just a minute or two after them, both looking fatigued. Both Logan and Patton had worked full shifts that day, while it had been Virgil’s day off. He offered to help the children in and to bed so that they could go back to their apartment sooner. Patton argued against it at first, but one hushed word from Dexter, that Virgil couldn’t quite hear had him readily leaving with a smile, quickly dragging Logan along with him. A thrill of foreboding ran down his spine and Virgil then felt like he had made a mistake by offering to do so.

“Racoon man!” Remus cried, pulling on his arm violently, “I want soda!”

“No can do little man, it’s past your bedtime,” Virgil said, hauling him up into his arms, grabbing another kid’s hand, and leading them to the house. The movie was a late one and had ended at nine, which was just an hour before lights out. That meant that He and Dexter had a lot of work to do before then.

Dexter went on ahead to help the smallest toddlers to sleep in their room next to his in the basement. Virgil took it upon himself to help the older children get ready for bed upstairs. Setting Remus back down, he nudged him inside and directed him upstairs, almost closing the door behind him until he noticed Roman still standing out on the porch.

“Roman? You okay, little dude?” Virgil asked, walking out to him. Roman jumped slightly at the sound of his voice and quickly turned his head away, rubbing his face with the back of his arm.

“Yeah!” Roman replied, turning around hastily, head low. “Just allergies,”

Virgil wanted to interrogate him a bit further, not believing the excuse behind the tears the boy thought he didn’t see, but he ran inside and up the stairs before he could ask any further questions. Virgil sighed with a frown and followed after. 

It was truly a task to get all the kids to settle down enough to change into their pajamas, brush their teeth, and get into bed; but he didn’t have to do anything at all for Roman, the downcasted boy was in bed before anyone else. Virgil wanted to find out what was wrong but had a feeling that he just needed a little time to himself for now.

By the time he settled all the kids to bed and turned out the lights it was well past ten at night. Taking one final look at the twins resting in their beds, longer than the looks he gave the other kids, he went back down the stairs to head out and get some sleep of his own.

He grabbed his keys from the coffee table and had one foot out the door when Dexter suddenly walked in from the kitchen behind him, making him jolt slightly as he looked nothing more than a shadow in the lightless room.

“You heading out already?” Dexter asked him, switching on a lamp near him. Virgil squinted against the abrupt introduction of light, but once his eyes adjusted he noticed the simple cashmere black long-sleeve Dexter had changed into that hung eye blindingly tight against his body, and a small bottle of wine in his hand. Virgil turned his eyes up to his face to stop mentally drooling over him, but by the smirk on his face, Dexter had already realized what he had been doing. 

“I thought you weren’t supposed to have alcohol in the house?” Virgil coughed, trying to regain the cool that he never had.

“It’s my own small stash from my safe, the kids won’t ever get to it.” Dexter said matter-of-factly stepping away from the entrance frame with a push of his hip, “So…?”

Virgil looked to him and then to the small bottle of alcohol. A large part of him screamed not to risk it and run away and never come back. Deep down he knew what it would lead to, he isn’t dense, he’s noticed the attention Dexter’s given him over the past few months, but he didn’t trust himself not to ruin it.

I ruin everything. I’m the reason everyone left me. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t even try.

Even so, despite his best efforts to remain indifferent and unaffected by his charms, Virgil constantly found himself falling for his charisma and passion. He hoped that, just maybe, he would have another chance at a relationship.

“Maybe just one glass.” Virgil concedes, closing the door and following after Dexter into the back room.

The sat on the long couch, a foot of space between them, with wine glasses each in their hands. Dexter pop opened the bottle and poured a bit in both their glasses. They clinked their drinks together in toast and took their first sip. Virgil usually wasn’t much of a wine drinker, but the fruity taste sat deliciously on his tongue and drew him back for more.

“I wanted to thank you for all your help tonight, Virgil,” Dexter spoke up after their cheer, the rim of his glass against his lips.

“I didn’t really do anything.” Virgil huffed, twirling the drink in its glass.

“Yes you did, you made my job easier just by being there,” Dexter confessed urgently, chasing away his self-deprecating thoughts as soon as they came, just as he always did. “The children really like you.”

“Well, kids are easy to please.” Virgil blushed, turning away shyly, wrapping an arm around himself.

Slowly a hand reached out and gently grasped his chin, softly pulling it back as it were a moment before. Virgil then realized just how close they had become, the foot falling to a mere few inches. Their faces were within breathing distance and he could feel the steamed warmth of Dexter’s breath blowing against his cheek.

“They aren’t the only ones who like you.” He whispered,

A pull drew them closer together, closing the space between them. The grip on his chin was soft and gentle, allowing room for him to pull away at any moment. Virgil’s mind roared in his head as he lost himself in the moment and in Dexter’s caramel brown eyes. The time it took for them to finally reach each other was painstakingly slow, as though an eternity had passed by without them as they stayed still together, trapped in each other’s embrace. For the first time Virgil felt relaxed in someone else’s arms, he wasn’t afraid about what could be and could only think of what currently was.

However, the warm touch of Dexter’s lips against his reawakened those fears.

What if my breath smells? Am I out of practice? Am I a horrible kisser? Why is this happening? Why is he doing this? Why does he like? What if I screw it up? What if I push him away? I can’t lose him!

“Wait, stop!” Virgil shouted, pushing Dexter off of him.

Dexter fell back into the cushions roughly and looked back at him in surprise, confusion, and regret.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that-” He immediately began to apologize, which only made Virgil feel worse.

“No, it’s not that, it’s just-” I ruined it. I ruin everything. Why did I push him away? I’m so pathetic. I hurt him. I’m pushing him away. I don’t want him to leave. I have to do something to fix this. “Ca-can we just be friends?” He stuttered out, shutting his eyes closed and tightening his fists on the fabric of his jeans.

He shook in his spot, sobs trapped in his chest begging to break out, on the cusps of an emotional outburst. It took all of his strength and focus to keep from bursting out in tears and cries. Even so, a few tears managed to slip past him and fall down his cheeks.

A hand reached out and grasped his face, but only to wipe away the tears that had fallen through.

“If that’s what you want, then of course.” His kind voice answered, much too forgiving after what Virgil had just pulled.

“I’m sorry.” He hiccuped with a sob, causing another round of tears to fall.

“Don’t be, I don’t want to force anything onto you.” Dexter smiled, though he could see that it was forced and hurt.

Fuck, I’m the absolute worst.

-

The next few weeks were awkward as hell, though it was mostly his fault.

After, whatever the hell that was happened, Virgil practically ran from the house and scrammed his way to his apartment condo. About an hour later he received an incoming text from Dexter.

Dee: I’m sorry, forget what happened.

He wanted to, he really did; if it were possible he’d erase the feeling of being held so gently, he’d erase the image of Dexter’s eyes boring kindly into his, erase the smell of his burnt wood cologne. If the power to erase his memories existed within him he would do so in a heartbeat, so that his heart would stop beating so heavily and his clutch onto hope could come undone.

But no, he didn’t have that power, so now he was left to remember it all in excruciating detail. The hope inside him that he had desperately been trying to push down and squash had now gotten the upper hand.

No matter what he did, or told himself, it was becoming increasingly more difficult to ignore the emotions building inside him. Yet, it seemed that it didn’t make a difference in the end what he felt towards Dexter since he had already gone and ruined it, whatever it was.

In an attempt to avoid him and the awkwardness, Virgil switched from going twice a week to just once a week, but that did very little to help, in fact, it only made it worse. Before it was just strained and uncomfortable glances and awkward small talk, but after he started cutting his visits short they began to talk less and less, sometimes he wouldn’t even see Dexter because he’d be too busy with the other children. It wasn’t unusual for him to be busy with the other kids, but he had always somehow made time to talk with Virgil, but now it was as if he wasn’t putting in any effort.

Virgil didn’t blame Dexter for being terse or angry with him, he would be too if he had that shit pulled on him, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

Although the biggest problem to come out of all this wasn’t the tension between the two men, it was the effect it had on the kids, Roman and Remus specifically. Since he only came once a week now Virgil had barely any time to be around them, and sometimes he’d only be able to see one or the other if either of them at all. His usual tutoring with Remus had been cut short and he could tell that he was beginning to struggle again as his class began to take a lead on him the more new material was introduced. Remus promised to work his hardest without him and said that Dexter helped him when he found the time, but Virgil couldn’t help but feel guilty.

Roman had taken it differently and had taken Dexter’s side, although he didn’t even know what happened between them. He grew quieter and would say barely two words to him. Virgil didn’t know what to do about it, wasn’t sure how to fix everything he had destroyed.

But he had to make that first step.

It was almost dinner time for the kids, Dexter occupied the kitchen preparing the food while Jessica, a volunteer, sat with Virgil and the other kids in the backroom as they watched Barbie. Remus sat by his side, pretending to be working on his scheduled reading homework, but really was focusing on the movie. The only one not there, besides the smaller toddlers taking their nap, was Roman.

Looking over his shoulder, Virgil stared out of the window into the backyard at the small treehouse in the great oak that sat alone out there. Recently, Roman had been retreating to his ‘tower,’ purposefully avoiding him. Virgil decided that, at the very least, he could try to earn the boy’s trust again.

Ruffling Remus’s hair as he stood, Virgil went out the screen door to the backyard and went over to the treehouse the boy was hiding in. Climbing the wood ladder, Virgil gently knocked on the door before he pushed it open and let himself in.

The treehouse was pretty scarce of anything, but it had an old pillow and a few stuffed animals strewn about on the floor. The ceiling was really low, which meant it was impossible for Virgil to stand, so he had to remain seated the entire time.

“Hey bud,” Virgil greeted, crawling into the cramped space, “You mind if I join you up here?” Roman didn’t reply, sitting in the corner of the wooden fortress with his back faced towards him. “Look, I know you’re angry at me right now, but I didn’t mean to-”

“Why are you still here?” The sixth-grader cut him off, his voice icy and hard.

“I- Excuse me?”

“I can tell how much you hate being here. Why don’t you stop faking it and just go?” Roman spat, curling further into himself. “All they ever do is leave, even if they promise to come back, they never do. So why don’t you go away!” He shouted in a broken sob that pierced Virgil’s heart.

Roman had always been a cheerful and energetic child, similar to his brother but in a more controlled way. However, there were moments when he seemed quiet and subdued. The moments never lasted long and were far and few in between, and whenever Virgil asked about it he would always change the subject or give a simple answer. He thought it was just one of his many quirks, he should have realized sooner that he was feeling this way. It made perfect sense, Roman had lived the past ten years of his life in disappointment as he watched the children around him steadily be adopted one by one, which he and his brother were left behind. Perhaps they had been considered by a few families, and maybe some of them even promise to come back and never did. They grew up being judged and rejected by adults, they’ve known nothing else, it’s become their entire existence and identity; what did a child make of that?

“Was- was it me?” Roman asked sobbing, more to himself than to Virgil, his eyes blurred with tears and snot running down his nose.

Suddenly, without thinking, Virgil snapped and reached out, pulling Roman into a massive hug, holding him tightly against his chest and running his fingers through his hair.

“Roman, Roman no. You’ve done nothing wrong.” He told the crying by, setting his chin on top of his small head.

“Then why aren’t you around anymore?”

“Because adults are idiots sometimes.” Virgil chuckled dryly.

He’s been a damn fool lately, running away from his problems won’t solve anything, and not talking about it made it worse. He hadn’t meant to cause anyone harm, never intended for the boys to be affected the way they were. But it happened, so he had to fix it.

Once Roman calmed down and regained himself Virgil lead him back inside the house, hand in hand, and sat him with his brother in front of the still playing movie. He could tell the boy didn’t want him to leave his side, but the sooner he fixed his mistake the better it would be for everything else.

Dexter was still in the kitchen, placing a casserole into the oven. Virgil watched him for a moment, observing how calm he looked when he was focused, calm and beautiful. Dexter set the casserole on the middle shelf and closed the oven door, setting a timer on the stove, and then turned and caught Virgil in the middle of his staring.

“Hello.” He greeted, his usually warm smile appearing slightly strained.

“Hey, Dexter,” Virgil returned his greeting looking down at his feet, “c-could I talk to you?”

“Of course, what is it?” He asked, taking off his oven mitts, throwing them on the counter, and leaning his weight against the refrigerator. 

“I…” Virgil began, still looking at the ground, crossing his arms and rubbing his sides nervously, “I wanted to say I’m sorry… for pushing you away.”

Dexter’s calm and relaxed facade suddenly fell away and he became rigid and stood straighter. Even his fake smile cannot remain, his face becoming harder and somber with retrospect.

“I told you before, it’s alright.” Dexter reminded him, sounding downtrodden.

“No, it isn’t, I made you think that you were the problem. I never wanted to do that to you.” Virgil argued shaking his head as he looked up from his feet, his voice unintentionally growing louder.

Dexter his eyes grew wide and surprise, as did Virgil‘s, neither were used to say anxious librarian using a loud tone or becoming aggressive. It wasn’t that Virgil was never aggressive, in fact, he could be quite aggressive, although not physically and rather verbally; but since whenever he was around Dexter he was also around children the former never really had the chance to see that side of him. Virgil froze for a moment, fearing what Dexter would think of him after he yelled. However, Dexter didn’t appear to be offended, and he actually appeared endeared by it. It’s my return, but just for a moment, except this time it was real.

“Well, I forgive you, and I’m sorry as well.” Dexter exhaled, leaning away from the refrigerator.

“What for? You didn’t do anything wrong.” Virgil asked in confusion.

“Yeah I did, I made you uncomfortable, and spent the time since avoiding sulking about it. I’ve been acting like a child.”

“If anyone’s a child it’s me, I’ve been avoiding you like an idiot.” Virgil disagreed, putting himself down that he might build Dexter up.

“Don’t say that about yourself.” The caretaker said in an almost commanding voice, becoming rigid in his stance once again. This time it was Virgil‘s turn to be surprised at the other new show of aggression. Sure, Dexter was no saint, Virgil had seen him get frustrated and annoyed with the children multiple times since he first came to the Stork House, but it was always in a nurturing way, like a parent to a child. His tone of voice and the look in his eyes showed something else besides parental affection, kind, caring, and intense.

It’s the truth, though.

Those were the thoughts that Virgil always told himself and believed. It was easier to take the blame than to risk hurting someone else. Still, it was nice to have someone to help combat those thoughts, even if he didn’t listen.

Their eyes stayed locked for a few moments more, taking part in an unspoken battle against each other for a prize he couldn’t figure out. A heartbeat or two more passed when Dexter’s strong stance and expression began to crumble away into one more relaxed, and he began to laugh, although Virgil wants sure if he was laughing at him or something else entirely. Dexter’s hearty and breathless laughter filled the room and chased away the tension; Virgil had no choice but to join in until they both became laughing fools.

“I think the kids are starting to rub off on us,” Dexter chokes out between laughs. 

“I think you mean just you,” Virgil teased, holding his now hurting stomach.

“Says the guy pointing fingers like a child,” Dexter smirked.

Virgil feigned offense and put a hand on his chest and pretended to be wounded, just like Roman would do. 

Perhaps the children really were rubbing off on him, but he didn’t consider that a bad thing. So what if he acted like a child from time to time, being around these kids had been some of his best days. Ever since he came to the Stork Agency Virgil has found it in himself to smile again without it being fake or forced. He’s having actual fun again, he feels like he’s contributing to something bigger than himself, and he feels almost whole again.

Dexter excused himself to call the kids to wash their hands before dinner, which was finished and set out on the counter. 

Virgil watched the man in both wonder and curiosity. He had never laughed like that with anyone else, not since Matthew, and he had never expected to do so again. Virgil had welcomed in failure with each relationship he walked into, he expected and built up walls to protect himself for when it inevitably happened. Yet, this man, in just a handful of months, had managed to put a dent in his walls and threatened to break them down for good.

In his fear and natural reflex, Virgil wanted to put an end to the threat and keep his walls up higher than they were before. He had been hurt too many times and feared being completely shattered if he took one more blow. Even so, Virgil found himself welcoming in the destruction of his walls. He had trapped himself in a box for years, relinquishing his freedom and joy in exchange for security. He was bound by the chains of his own creation with the key in his hand at all times.

Virgil had a choice to entrust that key to someone else, but he still wasn’t sure if he could bring himself to. However, with how things were going, not only would his walls be removed, but he will also hand over the key to his heart as well. And Dexter would be at the center of it all.

-

“So if this is the tens place, and this is the hundreds, which one is this?”

“Uhm… it’s the… it’s the thousandths place.” Remus replied, head bent over his homework booklet as he stared intensely at the numbers on the page.

“Good job! So if that’s the thousandths place, where does this number round to?” Virgil quizzed, pointing at the four at the end of the equation.

“It…It…um, it doesn’t.” 

“Correct! But why doesn’t it?” He continued, making sure that he wasn’t just guessing.

“Because… it’s less than five, so… it doesn’t round up.” Remus answered, his eyes lighting up.

“Great job bob, Einstein is gonna have to look out.” Virgil congratulated him, pulling him into a hug and affectionately ruffing up his hair.

“Yeah or else he’ll have a chicken stuck up his butt.” The boy proclaimed with a grin.

“Mister Virgil? Can you help me?” Another child, Samantha, asked. Virgil nodded and scooted over to her to look over her work and help her where he could. 

The fresh spring breeze blew through the open windows and ruffled up the worksheet, nearly blowing them off the table. May had come, and with it, the warmth partnered with the ending of spring and the approaching summer. Not only did it bring a change of weather, but also the impending student stress of finals. Virgil, who had actually somehow made it through college all four years and was a surprisingly decent student, due to his anxiety over failure, offered to help them. After all, how hard could grade school classes be?

At first, he had helped only Remus since he was still a ways behind his class, but soon after all the other children gathered around him asking for help in their studies. He would have been overwhelmed if it wasn’t for Patton, who offered to help in English and History, while Virgil helped with Math and Science.

By far, the hardest subject for Remus to grasp was math. He really was a creative boy and was more of an artist than anything else, the math simply didn’t come easy for him; it was the same for Roman as well. If he could, Virgil would move them to a fine arts school where they could cultivate their talents and focus on what they were good at and not be held back. Roman had a better time in math and science than his brother, but they still weren’t his favorite subjects, so he didn’t need to ask for help as often, except when it came to mean, median, and range.

“This is stupid! Why do I have to know this?” Roman complained, throwing down his pencil in frustration.

“Honestly I don’t know bud,” Virgil sighed and patted the boy’s head, “But if you pass your test I’ll take you out for ice cream.” 

Roman’s eyes lit up at that and he immediately took the bait, returning to his work and giving the problems more of his attention. Virgil smiled as he watched the boy’s comedic face as he focused solely on the homework sheet. Virgil remembered hating math in school, despite being good at it, and it did little to serve him outside of the education system. Unless Roman wanted to go into a science or math-related field, which he probably didn’t, Virgil doubted he’d really need the information he’s learning.

“Hey raccoon man, are you busy next Tuesday?” Remus suddenly spoke up from his seat beside him, using the nickname he had received the first day they met.

“Besides work in the afternoon, not really, why?” Virgil inquired of the boy.

Roman, who seemed to already know what his brother was talking about, tensed up and gave a commanding, “Don’t.”

But he went ignored as Remus continued on anyways.

“We’re having parents day at school. Snake man is going because he’s our guardian, but I want you to be there too.” The eleven-year-old beamed brightly, bouncing around excitedly in his seat.

“That’s such a good idea!” Patton gasped and smiled widely with a clap of his hands, taking a break from helping Maddie to listen in on their conversation.

“Oh, well I’m not sure if it’s okay for-”

“He’s not our dad, Remus.” Roman spat out loudly, causing the room to quiet down and turn to them. Realizing that all eyes were on him, Roman flushed a bright red and turned his head down, but still remained upset. “He’s just some guy.”

The room was deathly silent as all the children and both adults stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to the young boy’s sudden outburst. Roman froze as realization dawned on his face that was quickly replaced with a mix of anger and guilt. Standing from his seat at the coffee table, Roman ran away down the hall and upstairs, the sound of footsteps echoing in his wake.

No one made a move for several moments after and just looked around at each other at a loss for words. Virgil, however, snapped out of his shock and swiftly followed after him. It didn’t take long to find him as he wasn’t really hiding, and was simply lying on his bed on the bottom bunk with his back turned towards him.

“Hey, you okay?” Virgil asked, taking a seat at the foot of the bed.

“I’m sorry Mr. Virgil,” Roman apologized, turning over to face him, his eyes full of tears and snot running down his nose.

“No, no, it’s okay,” Virgil told him and pulled him into a side hug with one arm, “I understand.” 

Even though it surprised him, even though it hurt a little to hear those words, Roman was right, he wasn’t their dad, he had no right to act as if he was. “I know I’m not your dad, but if you’d let me, I’d love to go to your school.”

“Really?” Roman wondered, his glassy eyes shone bright with excitement and he sat up on the back of his legs.

“Yeah, of course.” 

Still, despite the legality of it all, he wanted to go to their school and feel like their parents, even if it was just for a day.

“So I heard you're coming to parents day.” Dexter started, speaking first between them as they walked together through the supermarket. 

Normally it would be Patton’s duty to help with groceries, but he was currently out of commission taking care of a sick Logan. Virgil had warned him that he was getting too much dust and not enough sunlight from overworking himself as per usual at the library. Well, it wasn’t as if Virgil practice perfectly healthy habits either, but which one of them was sick in bed? Exactly.

Either way, Virgil was now stuck pushing a cart around while Dexter read off his list and filled the basket with different foods, sauces, spices, and treats. He wasn’t too bent over it though, spending time with Dexter wasn’t a complete punishment. Ever since they had that talk two weeks ago the tension had basically dissipated. Until today that is; Virgil didn’t know exactly what had happened, but ever since his last visit earlier that week Dexter had been more quiet than usual, almost like he was busy thinking.

“Yeah, Remus invited me.” Virgil agreed, taking the cans of alfredo sauce the other man held out to him and placing them in the cart. “Roman didn’t like it at first, but he’s alright with it now.”

Dexter check pasta sauce of his list and stayed silent for a moment, gazing far ahead of him at something Virgil couldn’t see, his eyes cold and focused. Virgil gulped down a breath of nervous air as he grew anxious about the conversation.

Is he mad at me? Does he not want me to go to parents’ day?

“I worry about them sometimes.”

Virgil blinked and snapped out of his anxious thoughts before he could spiral, stunned and intrigued by the statement.

“Huh?”

Dexter walked on ahead, reading over his shopping list and leading them to the next item they needed. Virgil watched him walk in front of him, noticing the tension in his shoulders, and followed after.

“They’re so used to disappoint and being rejected by every foster and adopter that comes to the house,” he began, his tone low and somber, “but you’re the only one to ever wanted to come back and see them. I worry sometimes that it’s raising their hopes.” He confessed head hung low as he came to a slow stop and stared down at his feet. “Do you ever think you’ll adopt them?”

The librarian opened his mouth to respond but hesitated in his answer. Will he adopt them? There was no denial that he had grown attached to the boys since he first met them on his birthday six months ago, that being with them brought him a sort of joy and fulfillment he hadn’t felt in a long time. Of course, there were times he has been annoyed with them and wanted to walk out, such as when they were being stubborn and difficult or throwing tantrums, but they were only children and he came back to see them anyways.

Even so, was he ready to take care of two children? It’s not like he was making a whole lot of money at his job as an assistant manager if it was just one of them it might work, but there was no way he could choose between them or split them apart. And if he did take both of them, would there be enough room in his condo for them to live. His condo wasn’t that big and had only two rooms, both of which were currently being used. He could empty out his office, but that would mean they’d have to share a small amount of space. That may work for now, but what about when they’re older? Plus, with his work hours, he wouldn’t come back home until around ten at night five days a week, he couldn’t leave them alone like that.

“Its a big change in life to have a kid, let alone two. I still don’t know if I’m ready.” Virgil admitted regretfully.

The last thing he wanted to do was to toy with the boys’ feelings, but he couldn’t take them in, not yet at least.

“No one ever truly is.” The caregiver stated, his voice sounding serious but his face was kind with affection and understanding, “I’m not going to pressure you into making a decision, but please consider it. I can tell how much you love them just by watching you. And I know for a fact they love you back.”

Virgil smiled to himself, but it was slightly strained, his emotions were a haywire mix of joy, grief, pride, and guilt. Even if he loved being around them, wanted to see them grow and be there for them, they weren’t his and he had no right to them. If Virgil had been brave he would have admitted it to himself by now, that he couldn’t imagine life without the twins anymore, he could picture a future without them in it. But he feared what that kind of commitment entailed, and distressed over whether his broken self could manage it.

-

Requesting the day off to attend a parents’ day event at one of the local middle schools for two children who weren’t his that he met at an orphanage less than a year ago had certainly been an interesting way to start off his Tuesday morning. He had the date marked down on his Twenty One Pilots calendar, on his iPhone planner, and had even written reminders on sticky notes and placed them throughout his condo. Virgil did not want to miss it for the world. Thankfully his boss hadn’t questioned him too much on it and gave him the day off.

The next part of his morning had been dressing the part, even if he wasn’t their dad he wanted to make a good impression on the teachers. Besides, Dexter would be there too, and he didn’t want to slack off in front of someone who always somehow managed to look irresistibly good.

Not that that was the point of today.

Starting off with a quick shower, Virgil carefully blow-dried and styled his hair, keeping his bangs out of his face this time. When it came time to get dressed, he settled on a clean pair of non-ripped black jeans and a dark grey tee shirt without a printed design, since they were some of the few clothes that seemed appropriate to wear at a middle school. The real trouble came with picking a jacket, most of his wear oversized hoodies he had modified himself that definitely wouldn’t fly, but after some extensive rummaging through his closet, he found an old black blazer he only ever used for formal occasions. Once he was dressed he looked at himself in the mirror and decided it was good enough if not a little foreign. 

He had promised to meet Dexter and the boys at the school gates before class started, so when he had parked in the visitor lot and jogged up to the front of the school he could see the three standing on the side waiting for him.

Just as he had expected, Dexter looked stunning. Shaking that thought out of his head, Virgil focused on the boys and continued to jog over to them.

“Hey guys,” he greeted, “You ready to head in?”

“Duh, we were waiting for you, raccoon.” Remus retorted, and then received a hard nudge from behind by Dexter.

“Remus, That’s not how you should speak to people.” The caregiver warned the boy. “Now let’s get going.”

“Yeah stupid!” Roman mocked,

“I’m not stupid, stupid!”

“That reply was stupid.”

“Snake man!” Remus cried loudly,

Dexter groaned in exasperation and walked in between, separating them before they could continue any further, and pulled them along by their hands. Virgil chuckled and followed along, taking Remus’s free hand in his as he walked alongside them.

“Rough morning?” Virgil asked, having a side glance to Dexter.

“You could say that.” He muttered, “Johnathan canceled on me, but luckily Ashley was able to watch over the kids while I was away.”

“That’s rough buddy,” 

“Whatever you say, Prince Zuko.” Dexter laughed, understanding the reference. Virgil grinned and laughed along too, glad that he was able to bring a smile to his face.

The boys’ classroom was in the third wing of the school near the very end of the hall, but before they went to class they stopped by their lockers so they could put away their backpacks and grab their books. The room was decently large, with desks lined up in rows of four by six, extra chairs had been placed near the outer desks and in the back.

The first class of the day was English and Reading, which meant pretty much the entire hour was spent with the children just reading books on their own and discussing what they read, which was honestly kinda boring. Virgil tried to pay attention but once he noticed the other parents all on their phones or, not so secretly, taking naps, he succumbed and pulled out his phone as well.

The next class was much more exciting, and not just because Virgil was partial to the subject. The makeshift not-family walked together to the classroom directly across the hall to Mr. Humford’s basic Biology class. This class was a far cry from the last as this teacher decided to hold a parent and student team biology game. Although he had been a duel science major, his studies had been in computer science and library science, and yes that is an actual science. 

For the game, parents and children split into teams of two and went up to the whiteboard to face off against each other three at a time. To do this, Virgil teamed up with Remus, while Dexter paired with Roman. 

Dexter and Roman went up in the first round but lost, coming as a bit of a shock to Virgil. The caretaker came off as a highly intelligent person, but perhaps science wasn’t his strong suit. Virgil and Remus went up in the third round and actually managed to win theirs, which brought them into a final showdown against four other groups. They didn’t win, but they had finished in third place and got some candy as a prize. The teacher and other students looked extremely surprised at Remus when he got his award, but Remus was simply happy and proud and rubbed his reward in Roman’s face. 

This caused Dexter to force him to share when the older twin began to loudly complain, which only made Remus complain and disturb the classroom. The science teacher looked at him in agitation and looked like he was about to say something, but Virgil swiftly handled it by covertly giving Remus some more candy when their backs were turned, winking and holding a finger against his lips to keep it a secret.

After science, there was a ten-minute break that passed by in a flash and then they were suddenly in math class. The class was similar to the first in that it was filled with the kids doing boring work and parents hanging out on their phones. The first fifteen minutes were filled with the children doing a math warm-up sheet, which then turned into a forty lesson and discussion. 

Virgil could tell that the teacher was trying to engage the children and get them excited for the lesson, but he couldn’t really blame them for being bored in a math class.

“Okay, so today we’re going to go over a new topic, I hope you did the pre-reading I told you to do because it went over what we’re about to learn: absolute value. Now, can anyone tell me what the absolute value of one hundred and two is?” The young female teacher asked, moving back and forth in the front as she looked across the rows of preteens.

No one raised their hands, obviously not having read the assigned math book. The teacher looked slightly distressed and called out again, “Anyone? Anyone at all?” 

In the back row, in the very far corner, Remus energetically raised his hand up high, a grin on his face. Virgil beamed with pride over him taking the initiative, especially since he had helped Remus with absolute value last week.

The teacher, however, either didn’t notice Remus or pointedly ignored him. With a heavy sigh, she turned towards the board to do the equation herself.

“Excuse me miss, but Remus has his hand up,” Vigil spoke up, catching the teacher’s attention before she could write the answer on the board.

The teacher looked over at him in surprise, as if she didn’t believe him, and turned towards Remus slowly, hands on her hips.

“Well, Remus, do you actually know it?” She asked, her voice laced with a hint of sarcasm. A few of the kids around him chuckled among themselves, but Remus didn’t seem to notice.

Dexter twitched a bit in his seat beside him and scrunched his face in annoyance, and Virgil couldn’t agree more.

“It’s one hundred and two, Miss Lady!” Remus shouted, louder than it was necessary.

“Hm, that’s correct, though it wasn’t that hard of a question.” She chided, writing the answer on the board. “You see, when you have an absolute value symbol in any number, the answer will always be-”

Remus wasn’t called on for the rest of the class period, even though he raised his hand several times, and despite Virgil mentioning it, the teacher refused to call on him. And as they went through the day he realized that she wasn’t the only teacher to do that to him. In almost every single one of his classes, Remus went ignored, left out of discussions, or had discrete, snide remarks sent towards him.

He could tell that he wasn’t the only person to notice this, as not only did Dexter see the difference in treatment Remus was receiving, but Roman did as well and sat glaring daggers at the teacher and the other students.

Sadly enough, this was a recurring issue throughout the rest of the day in almost every class. If it wasn’t the students leaving him out of groups or ignoring him it was the teachers using underlying tones or making quiet remarks towards her intelligence or personality. It was always “Remus, focus,” and “Stop bothering the other students,” and “Please apply yourself more,” or “Put in more effort.”

They tried to make it seem like they were being benevolent or helpful since they were being watched, but Virgil could see through their facade and knew they were usually straight-up assholes. Especially the teacher they were currently with who had no issue pausing in his Geography lecture to straight-up yell at the boy.

“Remus Sanchez! Stop fidgeting!” The teacher, and thankfully last one of the day, ordered in a commanding, boisterous bellow.

Remus, who sat directly in front of his desk, had been rocking back and forth in his seat, tapping his own tune on his leg with his pencils as if they were drums as he listened to the boring lesson on the geography of Florida. The sudden shout had scared him into stillness and he immediately sat up straight in his chair. The way he reacted so swiftly and in an orderly fashion hinted that it had not been the first time Remus had been yelled at.

“Sorry Mister Sir, I-” Remus began but was cut off with another shout.

“And stop with that childish nickname! It’s Mr. Ruiz, I expect that even you can remember that.”

Remus didn’t answer back and instead simply turned his head down towards his desk and gave a small nod. 

A few parents looked around at each other in concern and simply shrugged, knowing it was wrong but not willing to do anything against the geography teacher. Virgil clenched his fists and looked over to Dexter, who looked back equally as furious, but more as a quiet cold fury rather than Virgil’s boiling hot rage. Dexter shook his head and mouthed “after class.” But that wasn’t enough for him, this dick didn’t deserve to be let off easy for what he just did.

Mr. Ruiz turned with an approving nod at Remus’s submission, and went back to his powerpoint but  said barely two words before Virgil said loudly, “Excuse me, Mr. Ruiz, can you not speak to Remus like that?”

The teacher paused in his lecture and turned slowly to face whoever had dared to cause such an offense by interrupting him. Mr. Ruiz looked directly at Virgil in disdain and astonishment, as though he actually couldn’t believe that a “family acquaintance,” as he had been labeled several times that day, had actually spoken up in defiance.

“I beg your pardon?” He questioned,

His heart pounded in his chest at the upcoming confrontation, his anxiety yelled at him in his ears to shut up and apologize, but he shoved it all down, letting his anger drown out his fear. Virgil raised his head to face him and stood from his chair, his shaking at his sides.

“I said, don’t speak to him like that. Ever again.” Virgil spoke through tight lips, drawn into a sneer.

“Mr. Black, I highly doubt that now is the proper time to act in such a way-”

“But it’s time to yell at a kid in front of his parents? Are you trying to send a message or something?” He challenged, 

“Virgil, maybe you should calm down-” Dexter tried to calm him down, placing a gentle hand on his arm, but failed as it only made him even more riled up.

“No, Dee, I’ve had enough of watching these moronic teachers pick on Remus. You claim that he’s failing school but you keep him out of discussions and refuse to be decent educators!” He roared and ripped his arm away to point an accusatory finger at the teacher.

A stir started up among the students as they whispered among themselves, questioning and wondering about the claims Virgil was making. They looked to their own children, concerned whether or not Remus was the only one being mistreated by the faculty. Mr. Ruiz watched from the front as his classroom began to become distraught and flushed red in anger.

“Mr. Black!” Mr. Ruiz hollered, “Now is not the time for a family friend to file in complaints. Instead of pointing fingers you should focus on finding him someone who can raise him properly.”

The classroom quieted down at the loud outburst and blatant insult towards not just Virgil, but also at Dexter, who had spent the past ten years raising Remus. Virgil knew that he did every possible thing he could to support him while taking care of ten other children, the nights that were wasted away, the days he couldn’t leave the house, the countless hours that went without getting a break. No one had ever tried harder than Dexter, so Virgil knows that that comment hit deeper for him.

“I wouldn’t say another word if I were you,” Dexter warned in a dangerously low voice, his eyes filled with a near murderous glint as he slowly rose from his chair. “Yes, yelling in class on parents' day is not okay, but neither is degrading a child in front of his caregivers and other parents on the day you as a teacher are supposed to show to us that our children are in capable hands while we’re away at work. I have half a mind to sue the school for the discriminatory treatment he receives here.”

Mr. Ruiz stared flabbergasted with his mouth hung open, as did the rest of the entire classroom, the teachers and the students included. Not missing a beat, Dexter moved to Remus and gathered his things and pulled him out of his seat by the hand. Virgil followed suit and went to Roman, chasing after them as the caregiver practically charged for the door. “Have a good life, Mr. Ruiz. We’re leaving.”

Class ended for the day, ending early at noon for the working parents, but the four of them had long since been gone. After the miniature showdown in the geography classroom, Dexter has gone and signed out Roman and Remus for the rest of the day and scheduled a time to meet with the principal. Virgil stood a few steps behind the fuming man, the boys’ hand in his, letting him have his space to calm down. 

While he had been the one to make the first move and yell at the teacher, Dexter ended up becoming even more livid than he did. He felt partially responsible and almost guilty about what had happened, but he reminded himself that he had done it for Remus’s sake and wasn’t completely in the wrong.

In the end, they decided to treat the boys to some ice cream and went to the nearest McDonalds to get a cone and sundaes. Virgil offered to pay since he felt guilty, so Dexter went with the kids while they played in the play place. Of course, the ice cream machine was broken, so he just got everyone McFlurries instead. By the time he finally had everything, the boys were lost in their own little world, while Dexter sat on the sideline lost in thought.

“Sorry, the ice cream machine was broken,” Virgil said as he walked up and set the drinks on the table.

“That’s alright,” Dexter replied, giving him a small, tired smile. “Thank you.”

“It was only, like, three bucks, so-”

“No, not that.” Dexter shook his head, letting out a light chuckle, “For earlier.”

“Why? I made a scene and yelled at the teacher.”

“Yes but you did what I could not, guess it’s a good thing you’re the hot-headed one.”

“Gee, thanks.” Virgil huffed and leaned back in the hard plastic chair, tapping at the table lightly for a thoughtful moment, “I’m glad I am too but have they always been that way with him?”

“Well,” Dexter began but paused when the twins came running over, cheering as they sat and grabbed their flurries, not appearing to care that it wasn’t what they had originally been promised, which is a miracle in its own. “Why don’t we finish this later?” Dexter offered, opening the straw and putting it in the McFlurry for Remus, who had been struggling with the packet.

Virgil nodded and grabbed his drink, turning to Roman to chat with him to get his head going. Today had been primarily focused on Remus, but that didn’t make Roman any less important, and he wanted to make sure he didn’t feel left out. As he prattled on about his favorite Disney princes, which eventually roped Remus in, Virgil smiled at the way he lit up like a Christmas tree and the peasant energy he gave off. It was a mystery how they hadn’t been adopted until now, but with each passing moment, he found himself more and more relieved that they hadn’t been.

You’re not ready to be a parent.

Virgil ignored that thought.

-

When they arrived back at the Stork house Patton had dinner going, while most of the kids sat in the living room playing a game. The others were presumably spread out through the house. Dexter went and offered to take over and let Patton go home early. As his best friend left, he winked at him and whispered “good luck” before he headed outside to leave. Virgil blushed and stuttered but was unable to reply or come up with an excuse before he was out the door.

Both Patton and Logan knew about his conflicted emotions for Dexter and, despite knowing his past, encouraged him to pursue it. Thankfully they didn’t butt in and do anything to force them together, which he was truly grateful for.

The night went on as it usually did whenever he came there after dinner was served the children were allowed three hours of free time spent watching TV and playing games before he and Dexter got them all ready for bed before lights out at ten. Tonight Virgil and Dexter switched roles and he was the one to help the toddlers while the other helped the older kids. He didn’t hate the toddlers, but they were a pain in the ass to get to settle down. At least two of them refused to get changed into their pajamas, and nearly all of them didn’t want to brush their teeth. By the time he got them into bed and, presumably, go to sleep, Dexter was already waiting for him on the couch, finishing with the older kids way before him.

“You could have helped you know.” Virgil chided falling back into the, kinda, soft cushions. They seriously needed a new couch, one not stained and lumpy from ware tear. 

“I thought you could handle it.” He grinned, leaning on his side, resting his head in a palm. His cat-like smile became serious, “I got an email from the school. They offered to suspend the teacher for thirty days, but only if they get a written apology from us.”

“Fucking bullshit if you ask me.” Virgil groaned, throwing his head back he dragged a hand down his face and rubbed at his tired eyes. “Guess they don’t actually give a shit do they?”

“Even if I did threaten them with a lawsuit, they know I’ve always been tight on money and can’t afford an actual lawyer,” Dexter said with a grimace.

“Havey they always been such dickwads?”

“Careful with the language, the kids, and pretty much yeah. It was fine at first, but then Remus began to show signs of an undiagnosed child development disorder that’s thus far gone untreated. Because of that, not only the kids but the teachers as well, treat him horribly. And since he isn’t diagnosed, I can’t switch him to the special ed classes where he could potentially get better care.”

“You haven’t taken him to a doctor?”

“Believe me, I wish I could,” Dexter sighed, eyes tired. Suddenly he looked as if he had aged ten years, the weight and worry giving his stress lines beyond his age. “But I just don’t have the funds. I’m basically a single father with ten kids. Roman accepts his brother as he is, and that’s already more than I can ask for. I just wish I could make it easier for him.”

He went quiet, shifting to sit forward and lean over, elbows on his knees and hands in his hair. It was hard to see in the dim light, but Virgil noticed a few gray hairs peeking out from where his head was usually covered by those hats he liked to wear. Virgil frowned and looked out the window at the night sky, which was more visible with the new moon. All around there were stars, and most all of them shone white and were small, but there where a few that stood out. Ones that were large, twinkled a little more or shined other colors like blue or red. They stood out and were different, yet they were the most beautiful of all. 

It was a common woe of a parent to have a child that stood out, naturally, they wanted to make their life as free sailing as possible. And sometimes being just like everyone else is what is easy, it’s what’s considered normal, while diversity is often difficult, but that is what makes it so beautiful. Over the past couple of months, he had come to know Remus as the quirky boy he was and he had come to love him because of it, both he and his brother. They were the kindest and friendliest kids he had ever met, and if their school refused to see that, then they didn’t deserve to have them as students.

“There’s a school not too far from my place, they could go there next year.” Virgil offered, voice barely above a whisper.

Dexter raised his head and gave him an incredulous look, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“But that’s on the other side of the city. I’m not sure if they would be able to make it to school on time each day.” Dexter told him.

“Then they could move in with me. I live just down the road.” Virgil said, trailing off and growing quieter with each word as his insecurity and doubt began to rise up. 

What am I doing?! Shut up! This is too much commitment! His anxiety screamed at him like an unhelpful, angry track coach. Virgil tensed up slightly in his shoulders as his body began to lightly shake. However, before he spiraled, Virgil centered himself and breathed in and out deeply and tried to change his thoughts. 

You’re not ready. Yes, I am. You’ll be a horrible father. No, I won’t. You don’t know the first thing about parenting. I can do research online and at the library. They won’t want you as their father. I don’t know that. You can’t. I can.

“I want to adopt them. I’m ready.” Virgil said, more to himself than to Dexter.

Dexter beside him smiled and nodded his head, his lips visibly trembling as his eyes became water and tears filled the corners of his eyes. So many emotions passed over his face within a short moment; happiness, relief, pride, surprise, and joy to name a few. It was as if a ten-year-long wish had finally been granted, and it most likely had.

“Thank you.” Dexter muttered voice choked up before he cleared his throat, “I’m glad to hear that and proud that they’re going with someone like you, but I’m afraid it may not be possible.”

Now it was Virgil turn to feel an array of sudden emotions, mostly confusion and hurt.

“What? Wait, why?”

“Well, as you said before, you are not financially fit to care for two children. If you were to apply for adoption it’s likely you’d be rejected.”

“So what? After all this your telling me I can’t adopt the boys?” Virgil nearly shouted the previous calming and celebratory atmosphere went now that he was pissed. Dexter, however, just smiled.

“Let me finish.” He chuckled, making Virgil frown deeper, “There is an option to have a cosigner apply with you to help you care for them and pay the fees. If you have someone sign the adoption papers with you and help pay the deposit, you should be allowed to adopt them pretty easily.” He explained, leaning back into the couch slowly, turning his body towards him again.

“I’ve raised Roman and Remus since they were two years old, they are as much my sons as anyone else’s. I’d like it to remain that way.”

Virgil thought for a moment, trying to figure out what he meant, and then blushed when it finally hit him. He swiftly became aware of how close their bodies had become and the soft, alluring, look on Dexter’s face that threatened to give him a heart attack.  All his anger from the moment before had been utterly replaced with nervousness.

“Is-Is this some kind of marriage proposal or something?” The librarian asked,

“What?! Of course not, I mean I like you but that’s a bit too fast.” The caregiver said in a rush, his face and ears reddening as well.

“Okay good! Yeah sorry, I just got freaked out there. Thank god!” Virgil breathed out in relief, sinking down in his seat, a hand over his beating chest.

“Do you not want to get married? Like… ever?” Dexter inquired, looking a little worried.

“No! I mean… kinda? I don’t know, relationships have never been my forte.” 

Dexter watched him carefully for a moment, and then asked, “Was is someone specific?”

Virgil bit his tongue and sunk a little lower in his seat. It wasn’t something he liked to revisit or tell others. To him, it was his single greatest failure of his life and his biggest regret. He had wished endless time that he could’ve gone back in time and done it all different back then. Part of his felt like he’d never move past it, but maybe this could be his starting point. He liked Dexter, he really did, but his fear from his past was holding him back from doing anything about it. Perhaps telling him would help.

Another few moments passed, Dexter waited beside him patiently, not rushing or pressuring him. With a deep breath, he opened his mouth.

“Well, I’ve always been awkward in relationships, especially when they became intimate. But, back when I was in college I dated this guy named Matthew. He was amazing, sweet, and pretty much my best friend. In truth, it was the only time I’ve ever been in love. After three years, he popped the question and I-, I wasn’t sure. I told him that I needed a little time to think and focus on my final year of college. Matthew promised he would wait, ‘Until the end of time,’ he said. Three months passed and I had my degree and my answer. But when I went back to him, he had moved on with someone else.”

Virgil swallowed the lump clogging his throat and heaved a shaky breath. Dexter put a comforting arm around his shoulders, Virgil leaned into him gratefully, sighing as the other rubbed his shoulder in reassurance.

“I’ve tried so hard to recreate what I had with him with other guys, but all I could think about was how I wasn’t enough for Matthew. That I had kept him waiting too long, and that I wasn’t enough to wait for.”

“Bullshit.”

“Huh?” Virgil spluttered in shock, leaning away to look up at him in confusion.

“Bull. Shit.” Dexter repeated, firmer and more intensely, “You’re more than enough. That asshole said he’d wait forever and couldn’t even handle three months, that dick didn’t deserve you.”

“I don’t know about that,” Virgil mumbled, turning his head down.

“Virgil.” Dexter said softly in a firm tone, gently pulling up his face with his hands, “You are the most amazing person I’ve known. You’re honest and diligent, caring yet stern, intelligent and brave. What more can I need to know I want you, and to raise the boys with you?”

“A thirty-year-old that doesn’t look like a depressed teen emo?” Virgil said half-jokingly, 

“You make it work.”

The pale yellow-orange light from the table lamp shined as they only source in the room, highlighting Dexter’s face in a soft glow. He couldn’t help but gaze up at his warm caramel eyes in awe. Carefully he reached up and placed a hand against his cheek and rubbed the scar under his left eye tenderly. Dexter placed one hand over his, and with the other he brushed away the long bangs that had fallen in front of Virgil’s eyes, letting it rest on his cheek as well. There were barely two inches of space between them, yet Dexter didn’t make a move like he did last time. Virgil knew that he was letting him make the call this time if he wanted it or not.

Virgil decided that he did.

Slowly, and a little awkwardly, Virgil pulled them closer until no space was left, and pressed their lips together. It was soft and careful, not rushed or hard, they took their time and savored every moment. Dexter’s lips were slightly chapped, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, his own breath probably smells bad anyway. Dexter quickly took over the kiss and Virgil let him, leaning him until their chests were practically pressed against each other. After a few minutes, they parted to breathe, both gasping and out of breath, and Virgil laid against him with a happy sigh, resting his head under Dexter’s chin in the cuff of his neck.

They laid there together for the next hour, content to simply sit with each other, no words needed. All the while Virgil found himself in wonder that this was his life now. Six months he relinquished himself to live the rest of his life alone, he still couldn’t believe how far he had come. He was with the man who made him happy, about to become a father to two wonderful boys.

He couldn’t wait to tell them the news.

-

The very next day Virgil requested the day off from work to fill out the paperwork and applications with Dexter, which ended taking up a good couple of hours. While they were busy in the office, Patton offered to watch over the kids, since it was a Saturday and he had no school to teach. 

When they had told Patton the news that both of them were going to adopt the twins the friendly elementary school teacher had literally fainted. Virgil freaked out, thinking they had accidentally killed him, while Dexter simply helped the fallen man up and onto the couch in the front room. Patton woke up a minute later and instantly cheered them on, playing it off as if hadn’t just blacked out.

“I’m so happy for you! Both of you!” Patton beamed brightly, pulling Virgil into a tight hug, and Virgil returned the hug just the same, “I knew you could do it.” He whispered in his ear, squeezing his shoulder.

Two hours later, as they discussed living arrangements for the boys, since neither of them wanted to live in the shelter anymore but knew that Virgil’s condo wasn’t the most ideal place to raise them, Logan busted in through the door and charged into the office, currently on his lunch break. Apparently Patton hadn’t been able to keep the big surprise a secret for more than a few hours. Virgil wasn’t surprised though, those two couldn’t keep anything from each other. 

“So you finally took our advice.” He said.

“You better not say ‘I told you so’.” Virgil deadpanned at his oldest friend, knowing full well how blunt and forward his best friend could be.

“Fine then, I'm glad you finally heeded my words.”

“Seriously, Lo? Can’t you be-”

Out of nowhere, absolutely out of the blue, Virgil was pulled into a hug, which was completely out of character for Logan to do with anyone who was not immediate family or his boyfriend.

“I’m glad you’re happy again,” Logan told him, sounding honest and thankful.

Logan was Virgil’s oldest friend and had been with him in the thick of his break up with Matthew. He had watched him struggle ever since, tried to help, and was always there. This was a victory for him as much as it was for Virgil.

“Yeah, me too.” Virgil agreed, returning the hug.

Soon after, Logan had to return to work once his one hour lunch ended. Virgil and Dexter returned to the task at hand until they were finished. Since Dexter was one of the applicants, they had to send it to a third party so it would remain impartial and fair. This worried Virgil a little, but Dexter remain confident that it would go well.

“So they boys will be sharing a room, which used to be your office, so we’ll have to clean that out before they can move in. Arrangements with the new school will have to be made. And,”

“And I’ll schedule an appointment for Remus.”

“Are you sure? It can be expensive.” Dexter asked, looking up from his opened notes on his computer desktop.

“I have medical insurance, besides, I want him to get the help he needs.” Virgil affirmed.

He knew personally how important getting help can be, especially as a child. He wished his parents hadn’t waited until his last year of high school to get him therapy for his anxiety disorder, life would have been easier if they had. So Virgil wanted to be different.

“Alright, then that just leaves custody and visitation since we’ll be living in different houses,” Dexter announced, typing away at his keyboard, his hyper-focused face looked adorable as it always did.

“Obviously we’ll have it be open,” Virgil said matter-of-factly,

Dexter smiled and typed at his keyboard, “It would be nice to live together one day though.” He said nonchalantly as if it had been an afterthought. Virgil choked on his spit and immediately sat up straight from his previously relaxed position, blushing furiously. Dexter laughed and waved a forgiving hand him,  “Not now of course.”

“Right,” He breathed shakily, laughing it off unconvincingly. His heart raced in his chest still from the sudden scare, not appearing to want to calm down anytime soon.

Dexter went back to typing on his computer, listing off things they would have to take care of and things they would need to buy before the boys could move out of the agency house. Virgil watched him, albeit a bit bashfully, making small comments to his statements. They were so different from each other, and, to be honest, he wasn’t the type of man Virgil would usually pursue. Perhaps that was one of the reasons he didn’t think anything could come out of them in a romantic sense. Yet, he had been entranced and pulled in by him, almost as if he were put under a spell. Everything he did was enthralling, from the simple sight of him cooking in the kitchen, to the entertaining banter they would engage in. They had known each other for only half a year, but he could already imagine a world where he was in it every day.

“Yeah, that’d be nice.” He murmured under his breath, a small smile falling on his lips.

It was a month until they had heard anything back from the social workers at the third-party agency. Usually, it would take a lot longer, but Dexter was able to pull a few strings to speed up the process because of some people he knew in the field. So when the notice came in that June, both of them opened it slowly with haste. 

It had gone through and they had been accepted. There was a three week waiting period, but neither of them could bother themselves enough to care at that moment. Once he found out, Virgil called both Patton and Logan and told them the good news and they all celebrated together. After that, the only step left was to tell the boys.

“Roman, Remus could you come here for a moment?” Dexter called from the back porch, as the kids were all currently caught up in a game of freeze tag.

“I swear, the toilet paper was Remus’s idea!” Roman shouted, pausing in his pursuit as a tagger, holding his hands above his head as if he had been caught redhanded in a crime.

“No not that- wait what toilet paper?”

“We’ll come back to that later. Can you two just come here for a second?” Virgil spoke up, waving the boys inside.

Roman followed the direction and walked toward the backdoor into the house, his head held down slightly in guilt. Remus chased after him and came bouncing into the living room. Once they were both in, Dexter closed the backdoor and sat them down, the young boys sat in between the adults.

“Now, Virgil and I have some news for you that we’re very excited about,” Dexter said.

“You’re pregnant!” Remus said excitedly.

“What? No! Remus that’s not biologically possible.” Virgil told him,

“But I’ve read stories online where it happened.”

“We’re going to talk about what you’ve been reading, but not now. What we wanted to say was,” Dexter cut in again, a lecturing look on his face, but got interrupted again.

“We’re getting a dog?!” Roman cheered out a guess, eyes bright with hope.

“Nope, I’m adopting you!” Virgil said, saying it quickly to avoid anymore stalling or excited shouts from the boys. Dexter coughed a little and waved at him, clearly not happy that he had been left out of that statement. “Well, we’re adopting you. Our application was accepted, so we’re officially your parents.”

The boys were both quiet for a long while, staring at them in shock and disbelief. They looked between them and at each other, seeming to share the same thoughts as each other. Slowly the broke away from their silence, as Roman began to tear up and cry, and Remus beamed a wide grin and cheered while bouncing up and down on the couch.

“I’ve been waiting so long for this…” Roman sobbed, rubbing away the tears as they fell and sniffling as his nose became clogged. Virgil pulled him into an embrace, rubbing a hand through his hair, while Roman clutched onto his shirt and cried and laughed.

“Does that mean I get to call you snake-dad and raccoon-dad now?” Remus asked, breaking from his jumping, landing in Dexter’s lap, to look up at them in joy and wonder.

“Of course bud,” Virgil told him, “Of course,”

.

.

Taglist: @omikkydraws @stormypaint @strickenwithclairvoyance @lolanomsgranola @hunter-shyreen @venus-fuck

[aion-rsa]

Best Marvel Comics to Binge Read on Marvel Unlimited

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With an enormous swath of the world involved in varying degrees of social distancing, many of us suddenly find ourselves with a lot of time on our hands. Never fear! There are more options for streaming comics than ever before, and that means we have access to more of comics history, more hidden gems, and more epochal runs than ever before. But the variety of options to read can be daunting. That’s why we’ve put together a recommendation list of some of our favorite comics binge reads to help you through quarantine. Marvel Unlimited has been around for more than a decade. It runs about six months behind print release of books, so it’s a good way to stay sorta-current with the stories you love. But the real draw is the back catalog: with 25,000 issues in its library, you’ve got access to some of the most important and most entertaining runs of superhero books of all time. From Lee and Kirby creating the modern superhero comic in the pages of Fantastic Four through Chris Claremont and John Byrne revolutionizing the X-Men, and through several Wars (Secret, Infinity, or Civil), everything is here. 

You don’t need us to tell you to read some of these stories. You know “The Dark Phoenix Saga,” Kraven’s Last Hunt, “Demon in a Bottle,” or Jonathan Hickman’s behemoth are all important and good. And some of them, Marvel’s even giving you for free. We’re going to skip over some of the obvious ones and point you towards hidden gems, the harder to find stories that fill in the edges of the Marvel Universe and make it such a rich, lush experience. We are also looking for monster runs that will keep you occupied – you can read six issues in one sitting with no danger of nearing the end. Some of these might take you an entire round of social distancing to finish. 

A quick note about the reading guides: We’ll list out the issue numbers for most of these. Many of them may have their own separate entry under Marvel Unlimited’s reading lists – those are helpful, but these are definitive. One of them, we’re going to refer you to the events – to find those, you can go to “Browse”, then scroll over to “Comic Events.” And for one of these, we’re linking to the inordinately helpful Comic Book Herald. They’re a great site for comic reading orders in general, and have helped me through several other binge reads before. 

Walt Simonson’s Thor

Thor (1966) #337-360, Balder the Brave (1985) #1, Thor #361-362, Balder the Brave #2-4, Thor #363-382

This probably shouldn’t be on the list. It is in the conversation for the greatest runs on any superhero comic ever. But if you’ve never read it, you’re truly missing out.

If you watched Thor: Ragnarok and loved how it looked or any of its story, chances are you are going to adore this, the run that Ragnarok borrowed so much from. Walter Simonson took the Asgard realized by Jack Kirby, the mythological realm pumped full of color and Kirby dots, and turned everything way up to create the most iconic Thor run of all time. Simonson started the run on art before handing off to Sal Buscema, and Simonson and Buscema are two of the artists I could recognize by style the soonest. Everything is HUGE. 

Read more

Movies

Thor Comics Reading Order: Ragnarok for Beginners

By Marc Buxton

Movies

Thor: Love and Thunder Release Date, Cast, and Story Details

By Mike Cecchini and 1 other

It’s paced immaculately, with whatever story is in the foreground holding your complete attention, but always with something drip drip dripping in the background that will eventually crescendo. This run made so many characters wonderful, but Loki, Volstagg, and Beta Ray Bill are highlights. And have I mentioned the art? It’s incredible, and doesn’t suffer one bit when Buscema takes over. This is my favorite run on any comic of all time. You absolutely must read it. 

X-Men: the Messiah Cycle

Messiah CompleX, Messiah War, and X-Men: Second Coming

The hottest take you’re going to find on the internet today is this: the Messiah Cycle is the best era of X-Men comics. It has everything I want from the X-Men line: books have distinct voices and missions, but contribute to the overarching direction of the line. There IS an overarching direction to the line. New characters are brought to the front, and new ideas are injected into the line.

Read more

Comics

First New Marvel X-Men Crossover Revealed

By Jim Dandy

TV

X-Men: The Animated Series – The Essential Episodes

By Michael Mammano

You get all of that from the Messiah era. Messiah CompleX picks up with Cerebro identifying the first mutant birth in years; Messiah War has the members of the Mutants with Claws and Swords era X-Force heading to the future to check up on that baby; Second Coming is when she returns to present day. Each one has a different tone; Messiah CompleX and Second Coming bring together every book in the line to tell their stories, but also let each creative team keep telling their stories and end up being the best-handled X-crossovers since Inferno. And Second Coming is the best straight action X-book I think I’ve ever read. 

If you like these crossovers, you should absolutely check out other books from this era. Utopia X, a crossover between Uncanny X-Men and Dark Avengers, is amazing, as is Duane Swierczynski and Ariel Olivetti’s Cable and Zeb Wells’ New Mutants.

Mark Gruenwald’s Captain America

Captain America (1968) #307-422, 424-443

Full confession: this is my current binge read. After years of hearing about how wonderful Gruenwald’s Cap was, I finally decided to jump in and within three issues, I was texting people to scream at them for not forcing me to read it sooner. For starters, the goddamn Serpent Society turns into a union. In fact, the Serpent Society’s union meeting is the most fun I’ve had reading a comic scene in a while, and the fact that it is based on a real meeting of comic book creators from 1978 makes it both more accurate sounding and HILARIOUS (I think Constrictor is Gil Kane, when you read it).

Read more

Comics

Avengers: Endgame – The History of Captain America’s Climactic Moment

By Gavin Jasper

Movies

Captain America Comics Guide and Reading Order

By Mike Cecchini

But the real appeal is how much movie Cap is based on this era. Gruenwald’s Steve Rogers is a really nice guy. Everybody loves him, everyone respects him, and there’s not a lick of condescension or mean spiritedness about anything he does, from sparring with Black Knight to taking on a gang of criminal jugglers with Hawkeye to trying to help joke villains like Rocket Racer. He’s also extremely competent, and Gruenwald and artist Paul Neary do an incredible job of showing this, as Cap breaks into the West Coast Avengers’ headquarters while trying to figure out, through his jet lagged brain, what day it is. It only gets bigger and more traditionally superhero as it goes on, with artistic contributions from the likes of Kieron Dwyer, Ron Lim, and others.

You’ll see even more of this run’s influence in Marvel’s The Falcon and The Winter Soldier TV series on Disney+, as it introduces key characters who we’ll see on screen there, so get reading, and pay attention!

Runaways 

Runaways (2017) #1-current

Rainbow Rowell’s current run as writer on Runaways captures the Marvel spirit better than just about any comic coming out right now. It’s a masterful mix of superheroics, joyful immersion in Marvel continuity, and soapy teenage drama. A lot of people are doing good work at Marvel right now, but nobody is hitting these notes as consistently well as this crew. 

This book is remarkably accessible for something so steeped in its own history. If you’re new to comics, or if you’re here because of the Hulu show, you’ll find plenty to love. But if you liked the original series from Brian K. Vaughan and Adrian Alphona, you’re going to be shocked at how much this feels like if that same book had never ended. Even though the characters have grown and changed substantially, their voices are distinct and seamless. This is one of my favorite Marvel comics being published right now, and once you’re all caught up, make sure you add it to your pull list at your shop.

Darth Vader

Darth Vader (2015) #1-12, Star Wars: Vader Down #1, Darth Vader #13, Star Wars (2015) #13, Darth Vader #14, Star Wars #14, Darth Vader #14-25

Remember that moment in Rogue One where Vader just kicked the shit out of everyone without looking like he was trying? And how everyone squealed in delight at old, force of nature, badass villain Darth Vader being back? If you were reading the comics at the time, that moment had already happened for you a full 18 months before the movie came out, in Darth Vader #6. 

Read more

Comics

Star Wars Canon Timeline in Chronological Order

By Megan Crouse and 1 other

Movies

Star Wars: Darth Vader’s Best Moments from the Marvel Comics

By Marc Buxton

This entire series is Vader killing everything he can. It’s like watching a space tornado. What’s especially surprising, though, is how Kieron Gillen manages to sneak some important character development into the book. While Vader slices through Sith intrigue and Rebel scum and the entire royal line of a mining planet and a bunch of others, we’re also learning about why he’s the way he is. This series takes place between A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back, so some of the lines that get filled in add to the rest of the OT as well. There have been several very good Star Wars comics since Marvel got the license back, but this run on Darth Vader is the best. 

Ultimate Spider-Man 

Ultimate Spider-Man saved Marvel Comics. Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Bagley didn’t do it with flashy variants or crossovers. They did it by telling good, pure, core Spidey stories. 

It’s hard to separate Peter’s origin from Ultimate Spider-Man from Peter’s origin in the 616. The Ultimate origin is so definitive and iconic in how it fills in the spaces between the necessary beats. Bagley’s art especially – even now, thinking about this series that I haven’t read in forever, I can still pull up Peter jumping over Norman’s car, or MJ’s face when she and Peter have “the talk.” 

Read more

Movies

How Shifting MCU Release Dates Could Impact Spider-Man 3

By Don Kaye

Movies

Spider-Man 3 Story Is “Absolutely Insane” Says Tom Holland

By Kirsten Howard

For the absolute best, and purest this book can be, just read the first 38 issues, ending with the first Venom arc, but the book stays solid for its entire run. Bendis’ work with both Peter Parker and Miles Morales is my favorite work of his career, especially when Miles joins the cape world, but nothing will ever match just how fantastic these first few arcs of Ultimate Spider-Man are.

The Annihilation Era

Annihilation, Annihilation: Conquest, War of Kings, Realm of Kings, and The Thanos Imperative

You will be hard pressed to find better comic book space opera than the Abnett/Lanning era of Marvel’s cosmic characters. Marvel’s cosmic line was an afterthought when these first started coming out. By the end, it was a widely beloved corner of the Marvel Universe that was popular enough to be mostly transcribed whole by the movies.

Read more

Movies

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3: Cast, Release Date, Director, Story, and News

By Mike Cecchini and 1 other

Comics

Guardians of the Galaxy Reading Order

By Gavin Jasper

The nice thing about this era of the cosmic line is how neatly the main books move from event to event. Annihilation tells the story of a cataclysm that befalls the universe, and how the remaining heroes – Nova, Star Lord, Silver Surfer, Drax, Gamora, Ronan the Accuser, and Super-Skrull, among others – fight a war to survive. Rich Rider gets his own solo Nova comic from there, and it leads right into Annihilation: Conquest, about the catastrophe that follows in Annihilation’s wake. It also sees the formation of the Guardians of the Galaxy as we know them and launches their book, before tying both comics together in War of Kings where the Shi’ar and Kree empires collide. Realm of Kings is the aftermath of that war (and has one of my favorite Shi’ar Imperial Guard stories of all time), and that leads directly into the conflict that mostly closes out the era, The Thanos Imperative. This is a great introduction and immersion in Marvel’s cosmic universe, and will have you hooked by the halfway point of the first crossover.

Black Panther

Black Panther (1998) #1-22, Deadpool (1997) #44, Black Panther #23-62

There are certainly better parts to this run, but there is a scene where Namor, T’Challa, Doctor Doom, and Magneto stand around an apartment outside of the United Nations shouting at each other about diplomacy, and to this day I still have not found a comic book more specifically designed for my interests than this one. 

Read more

Movies

Black Panther 2 Cast, Release Date, Villain, Story, and News

By Mike Cecchini

Movies

Best Black Panther Comics: An Essential Reading Guide

By Jim Dandy

Priest is one of the sharpest minds ever to write comics. He’s so good at misdirection and storytelling – he will overwhelm you with style and flash, and you won’t even notice the subtle clues he’s dropping, or the way themes and characters weave together to show key parts of the story. This run on Black Panther is probably the definitive one for the character, and contributed a ton to the movie version, but there’s so much more depth (and humor!) that Priest puts into the Marvel Universe that it’s very worth reading.

Incredible Hercules

Hulk (1999) #106-112, Incredible Hercules (2008) #113-115, Hulk Vs. Hercules: When Titans Collide, Incredible Hercules #116-137, Assault on New Olympus Prologue, Incredible Hercules #138-141, Hercules: Fall of an Avenger #1-2, Heroic Age: Prince of Power #1-4, Chaos War #1-5

Greg Pak and Fred Van Lente are two of the best people writing comics right now. Each individually writes really good comics, but the two of them working together almost always put something special out. Incredible Hercules spun out of World War Hulk and came out better than it had any business being. 

Read more

Movies

Hulk Movies Marvel Should Make

By Marc Buxton

TV

Who is She-Hulk? A Guide to Marvel’s Next TV Star

By Gavin Jasper

Hercules exists in a unique place. Pak and Van Lente used him as a gateway to the mythology of the Marvel Universe – the Greek pantheon, but also the Norse pantheon, Japanese gods, Inuit gods, even Skrull deities. And several of these aren’t exclusive to Marvel, so you get a very clear and obvious statement about some of the differences between the Big 2 universes, some clever in-jokes, and the requisite moving story about godhood. This all comes with wonderful characterization, clever plotting and a great sense of humor. 

Nextwave: Agents of H.a.T.E.

Read Nextwave after you’ve read everything else, not because it’s a good capstone to your Marvel experience, but because it’s aggressively anti-continuity, and (lovingly) EXTREMELY disrespectful of the rest of the Marvel Universe. It’s also one of the funniest comics Marvel’s ever put out. 

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This whole story is Warren Ellis brutalizing superheroes. Boom Boom from X-Force, Monica Rambeau (sometimes Captain Marvel, sometimes Photon), Machine Man, monster hunter Elsa Bloodstone, and Captain &#($$&*#!@ (or The Captain) are brought together by the Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort (H.A.T.E.) to fight Unusual Weapons of Mass Destruction. It’s aggressive nonsense, less anti-continuity than acontinuitous which isn’t a word but also fits the spirit of the book – characters make no sense even from issue to issue, and only serve the plot, but that nonsense later serves the plot. And it is an absolute tour de force from Stuart Immonen, who draws every type of comedy you can imagine – slapstick, absurdity, somehow sarcasm, puns – with incredible layouts and storytelling. This is not a good Marvel comic, but it is an incredible comic book that you’re going to love.

The post Best Marvel Comics to Binge Read on Marvel Unlimited appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[ultramaga]

“ there's no way Disney will be able to trademark of copyright a Norse deity “ I’m slightly less confident as Disney has managed to pervert copyright law decade after decade. https://jost.syr.edu/wp-content/uploads/the-sonny-bono-copyright-term-extension-act-a-violation-of-p.pdf Why Isn't Mickey Mouse in the Public Domain? The Mouse has had very deep pockets to make things ... go away. However, the recent ineptitude at the management level might make the Empire a little shakier than it used to be. Clownfish TV alleges that they have spoken to lawyers who say that the Mouse has so terrified the legal protection that no-one dare challenge him. However, Disney has also been borrowing money, and really not doing well.

With control over major successes like Star Wars and the MCU, it should be doing wonderfully. https://www.nasdaq.com/articles/disney-stock-history-will-shares-regain-their-magic-2016-11-25 Disney allegedly files copyright claims over Loki fan art They can certainly assert control over the image of Tom as Loki. There’s no wiggle room over who owns artistic depictions of either the MCU version or the Marvel comics version.

So then the claim is that Disney is asserting ownership of the mythical version. But what does the mythical Loki look like?

Dude on the left. I doubt anyone is drawing that. I’m betting they are either using the comic or the MCU version, which is clearly going to get them in trouble. From memory, the mythical Loki has red hair. But i couldn’t swear to it.  https://www.britannica.com/topic/Loki “ Loki’s status in pre-Christian Scandinavia remains somewhat obscure. The medieval sources from which came much of what is known of Loki provide no evidence of a cult, unlike for other Norse deities, and the name of Loki does not appear in place-names. “ So he may not even be a figure in the Norse religion that existed at the time of the Norsemen. I expect the modern pagan version is pretty much made up because it sounds cool, as most of the deep connection to that religion was severed a thousand years ago. This is the DC Comics version, as used in the Sandman comics. 

Dude on the right. In case it isn’t obvious.

Another version. The “American Gods” TV version has him looking like this initially:

But he really looks like anything he wants. 

I notice Sigyn never seems to appear in the stories. Loki’s rather abused wife tirelessly tends to her tortured husband, who is bound for his crimes, and a serpent drips terrible venom upon him. She gathers the venom in a bowl, but when she has to empty that bowl, he thrashes so hard he causes earthquakes. I could point out that she would be better off putting the bowl down in such a way that it constantly pours off to the side, but that’s not very mythical, is it? Sigyn never appeared in the comics as far as I know. Loki was just a villain for almost all of the comics, and the idea of him even potentially having a good relationship really didn’t occur.  The story reminds me a heck of a lot of a dark mirror of the Prometheus fable, and I have to wonder if there’s a connection. Greek myths would have slowly travelled across the lands, I imagine.

[xenonentity]

identity ask - all of them (unless there are questions you don't want to/aren't comfortable answering ofc)

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

read my writing probably (lol as if i ever finish anything) or my blog, watch nature documentaries and cartoons, listen to sara bareilles 

have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

never really found someone who thinks just like me, but lots and lots of things have inspired me and made me think. but that’s kinda the fun of it, and why i want to pursue writing. i get to put things out there of my own. 

list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

how the fuck am i supposed to list every single fandom i have lmao 

mass effect: nakmor kesh, most krogan, suvi 

undertale: alphys 

pokemon: generic pokemon trainer/researcher with a noivern

my little pony fim: fluttershy 

i can’t think of any more characters i relate to which is ridiculous because i know there are way more??????????

do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

i actually do like my name, and think it fits me. well, my first name at least. 

do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

i don’t really even think of my self as a human being on good days im a bat or krogan and on bad days im a human wasting of space 

are you religious/spiritual?

spiritual yes. religious, ???????????? it’s complicated 

do you care about your ethnicity?

im white as fuck and the only person who really had much of a connection with their nationality was my grandma (who even then was american born) who made pierogies and kielbasa so not really. but i do love some pierogies holy shit 

what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

sara bareilles means everything to me. like a good 25% of the reason i keep living right now is because sara once tweeted at me to keep going and i can’t disappoint her you know?? owl city and taylor swift were also really helpful for me during middle/high school. also, disney and broadway/musical soundtracks. 

are you an artist?

yes! i consider myself a hobby artist as far as visual art, but i love to write and hope to be a published author. 

do you have a creed?

i dont think so??

describe your ideal day.

i wake up without anxiety, and i go outside and explore the woods, or a meadow, or a large, open cave. afterwards, i go home and play video games or write or draw for a while, before eventually going to sleep with at least one (probably many) animal(s) on my bed and maybe also my spouse who knows 

dog person or cat person?

YES

inside or outdoors?

in theory, outdoors. but i tend to stay inside lmao 

are you a musician?

no man i have 0 musical talent 

five most influential books over your lifetime.

inside the animal mind by george page 

percy jackson series and kane chronicles series by rick riordan

guardians of ga’hoole series by kathryn lasky 

warrior cats series by erin hunter 

and also a mention to @thesylverlining​‘s chameleon moon series- working with these books is a big deal to me and i’m so glad i’ve been able to be even a small part in making them happen

if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?

i think that loving animals is part of me, and autism is genetic so that would be there too. but otherwise, uhh, yeah definitely lmao 

would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

probably, i don’t really act as guarded here lmao 

what’s your patronus?

i can’t remember what i got when i took the ~official quiz~ but it would probably be a big cat. alternately, a bat or a crocodilian. maybe a bird. 

which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

i like to think ravenclaw but im definitely a hufflepuff. huffleclaw?? also im pukwudgie-horned serpent cusp at ilvermorny (chose serpent) 

would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?

if anything, probably the pokemon world. or in the mass effect universe, as a krogan. lots of places would be better than here though...

do you love easily?

YEP YEAH probably too easily, platonically at least. romantic feelings are harder for me to pinpoint. 

list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

worrying, procrastinating (latently), procrastinating (actively), normal human functions i guess

how often would you want to see your family every year?

don’t have the spoons to tackle that shit right now lmao 

have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?

um im a krogan not an asari?? 

could you live as a hermit?

i’d like to think so but probably not 

how would you describe your gender/sexuality?

gender is cis female. sexuality is panromantic asexual with a slight question mark noise at the asexual part 

do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

no

on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?

it depends... like someone tapping their pencil against the desk for two seconds will make my sensory overload kick in but like about actual Things i tend to be fairly lenient because i don’t like conflict. i tend to be friends or acquaintances with everyone 

three songs that you connect with right now.

cassiopeia by sara bareilles (mostly bc of my ryder), she used to be mine by sara bareilles, a future for the krogan from the mass effect 3 soundtrack 

pick one of your favorite quotes.

“I am not perfect, but I have purpose.” (from the tank-born krogan on grunt’s loyalty mission in mass effect 2)