#why he was so scary like. i didn't know he knew my lang until he threatened me and told me i'm not allowed to speak to

[mishkakagehishka]

Me when i dream of lil Mika but it's another nightmare

[arkethamz]

Antonio doodle/info dump since he was around last month :3

left is the most recent doodles before i knew he'd be coming back

right is the first drawings of him (coincidentally exactly a year ago from June 1st)

more uncolored doodles n sketches. i kinda draw Antonio the most, but i rarely post about him (been gatekeepmaxxing)

last drawings that i actually still kinda like.. i have much more, i just don't like how they look anymore lmao

rambling wall of text infodump below the cut cuz i am just so autistic about this character LMAO sorry i'm a yapper-

anyway, contrary to popular belief, Antonio is actually my favorite RP character. just in general. and i've never actually seen him live until the other day. unbeknownst to me, i was waiting for a whole year to be able to actually see him live, i think i was more excited about it than cc!anthony was 💀

which might contribute to my love for him bc i had to piece him together like a puzzle from everyone else's POVs and clips n stuff. so at first i didn't want him to come back bc i was afraid he'd be different from the Antonio i made up in my head... but then. i haven't sat n watched, at mostly full attention, a whole stream for 7 hours in a while LOL

when i watched cc!buddha's rdrp vods a year ago n saw Antonio, i thought to myself "oh no... Tony isn't actually my new muse is he...?". and for a while i didn't draw him bc i didn't have any ideas + i didn't really know how to draw him. but i did know that when i did learn how to draw him, it'd be over for me (i wouldn't want to draw anyone else, and i was right oops 😭)

my idea of Antonio is he's just a dumb, impulsive, silly little theatre kid that got wrapped up in being an outlaw bc of Wu n Dot after his house burned down. they woulda been moving around in old box cars wherever the trains took them. Dot dies before the events of WildRP(headcanon), and Wu to me, is the autistic kid that follows Antonio around bc he talks a lot n has charisma lolol. also, to me, Wu is not as evil as he was intended to be, he just follows in Sonny's footsteps who's calculated n violent. While Antonio chooses Cesare's path to be more diplomatic and focuses more on his reputation. Antonio can't win a fight to save his life, and i love him for it. he thinks he's scary n dangerous, but to me, he couldn't hurt a fly hehe. i mean, one of the first things he did in the crossing was host a talent show at the local theatre. i'm a big fan of pathetic men, what can i say.

speaking of, i love how pathetically in love he is with Renni. and i love how, despite how much they like each other, they never actually get together n still respect each other as friends. they are the embodiment of the saying "if you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours" but without the last part.. they are so tragic to me.

in the last 3.5 years of watching rp, i've never had any character or character dynamic make me cry. like, as much as i love how doomed n toxic Donnie/Lang is, i've teared up a bit, but they've never made me cry just thinking about them. but Antonio, n by extension, his relationship with Renni, has made me cry multiple times just thinking about them 😭 and yeah, i cried the other day when Antonio was thinking about Renni LOL

idk why he's the character that changes my brain chemistry, but uh. he is. i've literally never rambled about a character so much online, sorry for the great wall of text bc of it.. i'm usually masking so hard a lot of the time, but i've been wanting to talk about Antonio for so long with no one to yap to so, yknow.. he gets me to unmask and i also love him for that :']

[danahmbisyosangdoktora]

Di ko alam? Di pa ata enough na nag-vent na ako sa closest friends ko as well as my relatives. I needed to let all the feels out and I needed more catharsis. I thought baka sawa na sila that's why I'm here... writing. Idk what for. Maybe to document my side and to remind myself, it wasn't you.

I knew the moment I signed the deed of sale, my life on the road will always be on the line. 'Di ko lang inexpect na mararanasan ko talaga siya especially I am very mabagal and follows traffic rules diligently sa takot na maaksidente.

Only went out to go to the grocery, ayun nalipasan pa tuloy ako ng gutom cHAROT ¼

Until now, nanginginig pa rin kamay ko? Grabe.

Story time

Bago pa ako makarating sa centro, may jeep na akong nakasalubong na nag-oovertake at inaagaw na lane ko. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, "wow ako pa mag-aadjust" kasi ako na gumilid sa lane ko hahahahaha joked to one of my friends na intro lang pala yung jeep, maaaksidente pala talaga ako today. 😅

Ang bilis ng pangyayari. Alam ko lang I was decelerating kasi 3 nalang until the green light turns to yellow then red when I was approaching the area. It's my rule to stop as early as 5 sa countdown (wow) to avoid nga unexpected... stuff. It just so happened na nagkaabot kami coz he did an illegal U-turn.

I didn't know what to do. I was internally panicking! Gladly, three tricycles away from me andoon yung uncle ko na tricycle driver. If not, I wouldn't know what to do. Baka inako ko din yung accident? Also thankful for the bystanders who kept on telling me na it's not my fault and taught me what to do like taking pictures of the scene in all angles possible. Also to those who defended us sa righteous vehicle owners who keep on asking na alisin na daw coz nakaharang sa daan and said it needs to be documented by the police as it is.

The HPG came and brought us sa station. Shet, my first time. They asked for our licenses as well as the OR/CR. We went to the hospital (I work at yikes) for the medical. I was lowkey embarassed coz I felt like I did something wrong coz I was riding the mobile 😅. Everyone I know who saw me kept on asking what happened and kung may duty daw ba ako. This happened around 11am and I was supposedly on duty by 3pm but I told my boss I couldn't make it kasi di ko alam kung gaano katagal ang process. Thanks to my fats who served as cushion, I didn't get grave injuries. I only??? hurt my left leg na siyang tumama sa side car ng tricycle which is also why I can't go to work coz the doctor told me I shouldn't walk my foot much which is not possible kasi as a medtech, I do wardings so I can't NOT move my feet. Anyways, we went back to the station and proceeded with the blotter.

We agreed na he's only gonna pay for the damages. I waived the medical part coz para sakin, yun nalang tulong ko and I can just have it shouldered either by my employer or myself. Nobody wanted this to happen naman so ayon. I also thought baka I was at fault din kasi di ko siya nakita. Tsaka it's only recently when tricycles started operating so I tried to consider as I really didn't want to burden him more during these trying times. But when we went out of the station, he was talking with someone sa phone and I overheard him saying ako daw nakabangga sakanya which is totally the opposite!!! I was mad! I went easy to him only to be painted as the offender? I was close to letting him go kasi my motorcycle has insurance naman and ayoko na makadagdag pero I got annoyed when I heard it. His tone was very condescending like pinapamukha pa nya sa kausap nya na siya dehado?! He was unapologetic at all! He was "okay po" when we were in the station but when we went out, he kept on insisting I was the wrong one! That's why I went through with what the police and my relatives insist na he pay right there and then.

Di ko lang matanggap his defense na I was speeding. I got (lowkey) insulted just recently when my highschool friend told me ang bagal ko daw magpatakbo because 40 lang... I only drive ng 30 especially in key roads kaya ano pinagsasabi niya. Also I don't beat the red light. 🥴

He also said he didn't know you should U-turn few more meters away from the No U-turn sign. He said doon daw talaga ang U-turn right after a No U-turn sign... I asked him if he knew how to read the lines sa road and he doesn't know. The heck? To think he's a Professional Driver license holder and I'm just... Non-Pro??? Scary.

I felt lowkey bad coz I have two cops na relative who assisted me. Baka he felt like I have the "upperhand". Baka isa pa yun sa rason niya when he cover himself up if magkwento siya sa iba. Pero I'm thankful because I really didn't know what to do. Everyone who can go literally went to assist me. 👉👈 You'll never read this pero thank you, Papa, Uncle Bon and Tiyo Polong. The two HPG who responded. Thank you, Ms. Neil Vila for sending me voice chats about everything I needed to know about the insurance. Jaymar and Ryan for listening to my rants. My workmates and my supposedly partner on tonight's 16hrs duty who asked about my condition and understood. My boss who told me to go to work nalang anytime I felt like going. Lastly, to my mother's friends who helped kahit na wala sila sa scene contacting numerous people pati na rin ang Municipal Administrator who got worried daw. Wow, I feel relevant.

Sorry Perrie, my motorcycle, nabinyagan ka tuloy. First birthday mo pa naman nung 10. I'm sorry!

You'll never know talaga. Super amazed to those whose job is to be on the road for hours on a daily.

It's not enough pala talaga na nag-iingat ka 'coz if barumbado kasama mo sa daan, wala rin.

Friendly reminder to always be alert!