#why does there have to be 6 of them
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Pizzeria Sim has wild implications why are all the animatronics ignoring each other just to harass Michael? Literally hilarious.
#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#fnaf pizzeria simulator#FNaF 6#I’m so serious why are they all crawling around in the vents going after Michael??#he’s not even Alive anymore why do they care so much#why does Lefty have beef with him? what did he do to Charlie?#Why does Molten Freddy have beef with him? They can’t still think he’s William right? scraptrap is there!#Scrap Baby sure and Scraptrap definitely#but why are they ignoring the guy who killed them to go after minimum wage zombie Michael#whatever it’s hilarious
156 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m sure this has been said before but when adam and michael are talking in the bunker about the possibility of michael’s dad being a grade a asshole, there’s something so so so important to me about how adam points out michael’s hypocrisy.
ADAM: Point is…. Parents keep secrets. Does it hurt to ask the question?
MICHAEL: Yes! It would mean I doubt him. The good son; the favorite doubts his father.
ADAM: You still care about that? After he left you in the cage?
this matters because michael was JUST criticizing sam and dean for leaving adam and how he is in unable to trust them. he doubts them because of their actions.
MICHAEL: You’re asking me to trust you. You who doomed me, you who let Lucifer walk free while your own brother sat in Hell.
in turn, adam is pointing out that clearly michael has a line for his family members and it’s been crossed by michael’s own, so why is his dad any different than sam or dean? what makes michael different than adam? why does his dad get to betray and abandon him and still get michael’s trust and loyalty? why is michael expendable?
he’s really tapping into michael’s beliefs that were just established to us as the audience at the diner. (ie: family sometimes hurts you and just because they’re blood relatives or ‘family’ doesn’t mean they have your best interests at heart. sometimes there are things more important than family, sometimes walking away from your family is freedom) and he’s holding michael to the same standard he’s set for the winchesters.
side note: another thing i enjoy about this interaction is that adam is being gentle, although it 100% appears as if they’ve had this conversation before since he literally rolls his eyes, and not to mention that michael is an archangel. he could easily be mean or not even care about his feelings or michael could not even take his opinion into account and do what he wants. but despite everything, adam asks for michael to listen to him, and he does. and in turn adam appeals to him with logic and reasoning, because he’s overall a very rational and strategic being that’s simply been groomed from the get go in his dad’s weird cult. adam appeals to his emotions in a way that’s familiar. they share this experience. adam knows michael is protective of him and that it’s easy for michael to hate sam and dean for the same things his dad has done. but michael’s own lack of self worth that was drilled into him by his dad for aeons is being challenged, and it’s uncomfortable for him, but adam doesn’t back down and he helps get through to him. it’s really a great scene. this post wasn’t meant to be so long but yeah i have lots of thoughts about this short interaction!
#also the fact that michael compares him and adam being together for years (around 50k) as comparable in importance….#he’s not saying that adam is less important he’s presenting a logical fallacy. there’s been so much time. he can’t change his belief now#it’s been eternity! what does that mean for him? it’s the logic of the sunk cost fallacy#he’s invested so much time in it that he has to continue and adam is pulling him away with appealing to his compassion for a situation#adam was also in. and the nail in the coffin was castiel showing him those memories. it’s one of the reasons why#15x19 feels so odd because he is very 0-100. he 100% had faith his father and then had no faith in him#so it feels kinda ooc for him to suddenly go back when he spent 6 months coming to terms with something he had already been questioning#then for him to go back to his dad? why? what does he gain? both he and lucifer actually have this issue where their motivations aren’t#exactly established. we can assume lucifer is told a paradise type fantasy where he gets to have jack or something of equal importance#and we can assume michael is told that he will bring adam back but both of them have been betrayed so many times (and so recently) it’s#whiplash for them to be suddenly team god again. also michael killing lucifer is ooc imo as well#it just feels too convenient considering jack needed to absorb more power in regards to both their deaths#anyway lol#supernatural#adam milligan#dean winchester#sam winchester#spn#michael spn#15x08#spn 15x08
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
the juppet !! i just realised he is jerma posing i swear that was unintentional...... i spent so long digging thru muppet concept art and looking at old puppet designs just to end up doing a rly simple drawing but. i love joehills!! i have only been watching them for like 4 years but their videos r so special to me :3
#i would love to do a more complex drawing inspired by muppet concept art at some point... just wanted to give myself a bit of a break#i've been spending So much time on these drawings every day n it's not really sustainable for me to be spending multiple hours every day#when i have so much work i should be doing...... but i rly enjoyed this silly little muppet even if it's v simple for my standards#tbh i'm surprised i even made it this far into the challenge.. we're like two thirds in ?!!?!#i've only ever completed an art challenge once and that was inktober in 2018... and those were SIMPLE drawings#my standards are a lot higher than they were 6 years ago... but also there's extra pressure because i'm posting these#and i know i don't Have to post them but. it's a way of keeping myself accountable because i am terrible at that without outside motivation#omg why do i always ramble So much in tags this is ridiculous i'm so sorry if anyone actually reads these....#anyways i rly hope my people drawing skills r improving..#i doubt there will be noticable difference but i hope i feel at least a little more confident by the end of this#hermitaday#horsemeatluvr does hermitaday#horsemeat gallery#joehills#joehills fanart#joe hills#joe hills fanart#hermitcraft#traditional art#unedited sketchbook drawings 4 the win (i've given up on scanning n editing these or even taking them in proper lighting... too much effort)#i'm just a little guy
112 notes
·
View notes
Text
remember how in dao there were always like multiple flirty options u could just spring on ur love interest and it wasn't something that was brushed past it would stop a conversation dead in its tracks to have a cute secondary flirty offshoot with small variations dependent on the flirty option u initially chose with a unique course correction to get back on topic after...... yeah.
#sorry i'm about to be a hater#romance in datv is like. a vaguely flirty line met by an even vaguer response that has no impact on the conversation#in the beginning at least#only once your relationship is like 6 or 7 does it get a little more receptive#and the whole time it's like okay i completed a main quest. time to talk to the love interest. okay i did another main quest. time to talk#to the love interest. BC YOU CAN'T TALK TO THEM OUTSIDE OF DESIGNATED CUTSCENES. U CAN'T HAVE RANDOM CONVERSATIONS#A LA HAVE YOU EVER LICKED A LAMPPOST IN WINTER!!! THAT IS SO LAME!!!!!!!! SO COOKIE CUT!!!!!!!!!#there's so few references to your relationship at all really. the romance cutscenes could be removed and u would never know they're in love#the romance doesn't exist outside of designated cutscenes. you can't choose to randomly flirt you must wait for The Cutscenes because#there's only one way to romance everybody. even dai was better with this imo even though the formula is similar#partly bc u can get to know everyone outside of exclusive cutscenes?? you can just approach them at anytime and get to know them?? and find#a chance to flirt?? and there's teeny tiny special romance-specific moments carved out. like the dance after halamshiral for example#and again people TALK about your romance. it's present in the narrative#bioware is so known for their romances but they dropped the ball hard here and i'm sooooooooo disappointed#and actually?? companions barely ever interject during main quests too?? or quests at all?? just as a side note#companions should be voicing their OPINIONSSSSS when i make choices????#davrin should have had so much to say during weisshaupt cutscenes. like what the fuck was that#and why wasn't there a one-on-one conversation discussing his mortality with him beforehand?? would have liked to see that??#relationship growth in this game is purely waiting for the next milestone and it feels so stale and lackluster and upsetting and ugh#the fact that giving your companions gifts strictly results in approval gain and one measly thank you is indicative of everything wrong#anyways.txt#jasmine plays datv#da4 spoilers
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
helloooo from the abyss!!! i got a job offer today!!! why am i so scared !!!!!!!!!!
#me to my go-to agony aunt colleague:#🧍🏻♀️ i want my mummy#i have been at this company for 6 yrs and mb deeply unhappy for 1 year with small breaks of sun thru the clouds#and it is time for me to go!!!! but why does my tummy hurt!!!!!!!#and it is less about owing them anything and more abt being soooso cosy in the comfort zone.... except when im crying and stressed and#grinding my teeth as i sleep due to stress which is new!!!#anyway i hope this means finally getting back some time to do my real job (bono blog)#once i.... turn down an internal offer that i only went for bc they dangled a smidge of a salary increase in front of me#and i hand my notice in 😨#😖😵💫🫨🙃🥲#miss u all btw if u even care 😞
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi guys, this is usually what a doodle page ends up looking like <3 (oh, and @ancha-aus thought you might like this! Not writing but certainly fuel to my fire lol-)
This one is New Age filled!!! (Close-ups abd Lore beneath the cut!)
1) Night and Cross!
Night is actually very clingy once he's a teen. He doesn't usually realize it, but around the castle he'll snake to be closer to his Knights so long as there's no one he needs to keep his composure infront of is nearby. Cross is the one who's not used to physical touch (when it's not Ink ofc) so Night in his personal bubble makes his heart melt but also scares tf out of him <3
2) Error and Night's Meeting!
Error was carrying his whole life on his back and trying not to get arrested for unintentional property damage at this point, so when he saw the chance to get back at his brother and prove he was strong enough? Yeah, he got that on chance instantly. And was VERY smug when Nightmare chose him. (Also, Error is wearing gloves, so less Haphephobia)
3) Dream and Blue designs!
I think these are good tentative designs! Dream probably has a more regal fit, but he likes to play up that rugged exile look- He's inspired by Archers, while Blue takes on that classic Knightly-vibe. Their equipment is mostly stolen from Night's troops or brought with them from Blue's home kingdom.
Also, Dream is approx Killer's height at this point, shorter than Cross and *much* shorter than Apple!Nightmare. (Hc that Skeletons tend to be tinier in stature thanks to weird monster beauty standards. Horror and Geno's fam are outliers.)
4) Horror and Dust designs!
Horror is naturally a very *large* monster. He's very malnourished when Nightmare meets him, but by the time he's a Knight Nightmare has made sure that's no longer the case. He actually loves comfy, simple clothes, but to play up the whole 'strong mysterious' bit he wears a more barbaric Knight's garb. He doesn't mind acting scary, it's more fun that way :]. Dust is very very small, and envies horror sometimes for his size, but his tiny stature let's him control his body and move a lot quicker. He's very much based on a rogue, and usually covers the lower part of his face w/ a black cloth, and the upper part w/ his hood or mask. Dust only removes both to bathe, eat, or relax in a safe location. (Ignore that I can't draw the stupid gaster blaster lmao-)
These last two were space-fillers, but Cross and his Borzoi (Windmill, otherwise known as Milly (Killer named her-)) and really bad first wips of Ccino! I think Ccino was a chubby, happy toddler, but lost a lot of 'weight' (bone mass? Magic?) due to stress and pressure and bad eating habits. So it isn't until a while after the Coronation that he starts to relax abd feel safe enough to eat normal meals (Nightmare used to guilt him into eating snacks together, but as his boss (and younger brother) he can encourage it more often). By the time Killer shows he's still not quite healthy, but he's better. As more weight is lifted off his shoulders, the better he is. (That 'beauty' most people saw was a more stereotypical slimness, but Killer never stopped seeing Ccino as beautiful-) I think he never looked traditionally underweight, so no one noticed, and it was only much later that Night processed it. (And maybe it's why Dream hardly recognized him later on-)
#new age au#I love showing mundane life things-#and also these designs beamed into my brain#I can't draw Ccino for anything but the others? yeag#Blue is definitely my fave. and just like every au I will draw Blue perfect the first time and draw Dust 6 billion times 😔#Horror is kinda banger too tho#makes me laugh to imagine Horror picking up Dust mid-fight out of convenience and Dust weighs nothing to him#(also this size difference is exactly why Dust and Horror fight in the non-magic training. and why Horror accidentally obliterated his#shoulder later on lmao- Dust needs to be able to dodge any enemy. Horror needs to aim for small and quick targets.)#(Meanwhile Cross is the newest and Killer the oldest and if Cross adapts to Killer then he'll adapt to the others more easily.)#oh! and Ccino w/ his arc? I think I really like the idea of a Ccino with a plump body-type. but that conflicts with my vidion of Ccino kinda#losing track of eating and being co-erced by adults to skip meals just enough to make him the 'right amount' of curvy#so when Nightmare takes over it's a habit he's so used to he hardly notices that he's doing it. but. Night picks up on it because Ccino is#almost akways with him. their relationship is very much Ccino giving his life to help Night#but it's also Night recognizing that and giving it back to Ccino along with more the moment he can#just smth smth this au is full of fit and exercized people and I think Ccino deserves some comfort and healing and positivity <3#also I am SO fond of Nightmare getting up in people's bubbles. he does it most to Killer and Ccino for obvious reasons but#god forbid a noble be talking behind his back because he *will* twist around and shove under his knight's arms or sides just to#read them the riot act or stare them down <3#and I think when he was an adult Night was... kinda like the big brother? like. not an experienced one by any means. but he wasn't *not*#affectionate then either. he was better at being serious about it and more discreet. but like#Nervous Cross escorting him in public? Night nudges his shoulder briefly with a Tendril to try and comfort him. Dust having a magic overload#? personal Training against just Night so there was no risk of harming anyone else. then snacks and tea after.#Horror is homesick? Woah look at that a scheduled trip back to visit with Crop and side-track back to Horror's village? huh?? wild...#Killer upset at all? Night will find a solution. just you wait. a cat. two cats. perhaps even a cat in a little sweater? or y'know. just a#chat or a combat?#Nightmare showed his affections but was just more distant about it.#Oh also. all four were used to tendrils lifting/tugging them subconsciously. usually during trainings to avoid them hurting eachother by#mistake in their early days. Killer misses it sometimes
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
I miss Mei so much you don’t understand :( bring her back AidaIro. Also Yako and Hakubo
I hate how the school mysteries (other than Hanako, Mitsuba and Akane) get there one arc where you really get to know them and care about them and then they just go away forever. GIVE THEM BACK PLS AIDAIRO LET THEM OUT OF THE CLOSET THEYVE DONE NOTHING WRONG
#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#shijima mei#yako#tsuchigomori#Tbhk no.6#like I feel like they add so much#there all so fun#I’d say Sumire to but like you know.. rip#they could be silly little side characters to do silly little things#like I feel like we got that in the beginning with Yako and Tsuchi they would appear in little side arcs with one or two lines to help out#Yako can teleport anywhere and Mei can bring anything to life she draws??#why aren’t those powers used more??#at least Kako and Mirai get two arcs… and get mentioned by Akane every once in a while#how are you gonna write Mei so well and then she’s just gonna never been seen again#she’s like big foot at this point#it’s not that I don’t love the main cast but I love them too and I feel like there so underused#I feel like the whole 7 mysteries thing is kinda underused#apparently there proxies for god?? how the heck does that work?? like I understand mystery but I also understand 117 chapters and I info#they have a meeting like once and that was really cool do that again#or twice if you count the one where Hanako just rolled up to Tsuchi and was like ima break your shit#I chose to believe Hanako invited the rest of them to that meeting but they all chose to not show up#on that note in what way is Hanako the leader? he’s not the oldest#he’s not the strongest..#(you know cause Teru solos him ez and Hakubo solos Teru ez)#no one even listens to him so like???#anyway bring my girl Mei back she deserves it
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh the TGCF ad is so good it's actively upsetting skdjdkjdd
#(exhausted thumbs up covered in blood) survived volume 2#actively terrified for them to adapt volume 4#thank goodness the rest of the season is adapting volume 3#北极圈blogging#black water arc will be devastating but at least it'll be fun. I am SO excited for mr peng “has beleaguered side character on lock” yao#to give us his ming yi. mhm. yeah it's going to be SO cathartic metatextually#I've been thinking about why black water arc feels less painful than the flashback volumes beyond like the scope of the tragedy#and I think it's a lot in part due to distance#because it feels like we're watching black water arc from a distance/remove (eating popcorn) because hualian are just kinda there#observing. as one does. but the flashback volumes have no layer of remove. it's just the 杯水二人 question over and over again until you break#all things considered it was really impressive that they got volume 2 done in 6 episodes without abridging it too much#but also thank goodness they got it done in 6 episodes any longer and my nerve was going to begin to fail me
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Good morning do you ever think about Luffy having nightmares about Sabaody/Marineford and basically not sleeping at all for a long time until he has checked everyone on the ship to see if they're fine? But still, he can't get back to sleep because the thought of something happening while he's not awake is so haunting. And Sabo is basically the same, but instead, he keeps having dreams about their childhood that do not end the way they should and he wakes up covered in cold sweat and having the worst of times because he wants to reach out to Luffy but he can't.
#it is 6 fucking am#why am i thinking about this do not ask#i think they should be allowed to have at least weekly calls because i would fucking lose it personally if i were one of them#when will we see them together again i am dying here guys#also zoro and nami know luffy does this#koala always calms sabo down when this happens#<- they're on the same bed they're dating idc#one piece#monkey d. luffy#revolutionary sabo#asl brothers#marineford#sabaody
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
MLP Homestuck doodles!
these are all from several months ago, i thought while i was posting other old art i'd release these as well :D
oh also: bonus panel edit!
#2024 art#fanart#sketches#doodles#mlp fim#MLP#mlp gen4#Homestuck#MLP homestuck#homestuck mlp#crossover fanart#i remember trying to mimic homestuck's style was very fun. i really like these! they're silly :D#mane 6#twilight sparkle#i gave pinkie and rarity glasses in the sketches cause a lot of homestuck characters have glasses#and idk felt too obvious to give them to twilight.#and rainbow gets sunglasses cause of course she does#i know that AJ's symbol should probably be orange to match her element but like.#why the heck was it orange in the first place#that's not the color that apples are!!!
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Daydreaming about making a v3 video essay
#definitely NOT NOW and not until I get home at the very least#Im thinking about that post I think funishment-time made about there not being a lot of v3-positive analyses on youtube#and I want to fix that...#Something like. 'This Game Does Not Hate You: In Defense of the Ending of Danganronpa V3'#And I just talk about common criticisms of trial 6 and argue against them#maybe an interlude talking about why I love tsumugi as a mastermind#I was having a lot of fun thinking about it in the shower#But I dont know if Id feel comfortable reading it outloud as a video essay! But also maybe that would be fun??#and then editing game footage together....#shut up me#rotating in my mind
22 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi I like gelato a lot
youtube
#ask#anon#hi anon. sorry that i used this opportunity to talk about the sims 2 console port#ive had this template made and didn't use it for much besides a few jokes to send to friends#but i think it's on par for Gelato to be this knowledgeable about one of his favourite games.#but yeah basically i grew up with the xbox version of Sims 2 and since the xbox was my brothers console. i didnt get to play it a whole lot#and years later i bought the sims 2 on PS2 and noticed a lot of slowdown on actions and stuff#and the golden bolt (i think thats their youtube name) did a video about the console ports of sims 1 & 2 games#and i was kinda confused hearing them talk about how the sims 2 only had one save file (on PS2) because the xbox version had like eight#and so that. paired with me looking through the cutting room floor page of the sims 2#i was kinda curious to see if the xbox version really performed as bad as it does on the ps2 version#because the golden bolt was also talking about that in their coverage of the ports#and so like again. there's only two videos on youtube that I could find of the xbox version#and the ones uploaded by IGN run on the ps2 version. because of the fucking button prompts they show on screen#anyway. so like thankfully one of the only other xbox videos showcased making a sim. and it's. so much fucking faster than the ps2 version#like on the ps2 version. you'd select a hairstyle. wait 5-10 seconds. and then the hair changes and you get the ui element to customize it#press cancel and you wait 5-10 seconds to revert back to your previous hairstyle#on the xbox version though? it's so much fucking faster#i haven't checked gameplay of the gamecube version but ik that speedrunners use specifically just that version of the port?#im not sure why only because i havent done the research to check what's better about the gamecube version#granted. i have to get around to getting an original xbox controller at some point to prove it for myself that the xbox port runs the best#i know it probably wont be perfect due to the disk having a few scratches. but its gotta beat my ps2 copy#im also curious to see how many save files i used. because im almost certain i used like 6-7 of them#just because i kept creating new story modes with almost identical alien sims with mohawks#in my last playthrough. i think i broke that tradition and gave my sim a flatter haircut. i also forget if i made him an alien or not.#i havent played it in a year due to getting my computer and it taking up the space i used for my crt setup#anyway. hi anon. sorry about that. im happy you like Gelato :)#i genuinely love him so much ever since Helper sketched him up. like she absolutely nailed it. literally couldn't ask for anything better#and writing up stuff for him has honestly made me love him so much more#thank you for the ask anon!! :)
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
“because he never accepts that it's never been about righteousness--it's about repentance.” except javert killing himself IS repentance.
well, it’s like 12 different things, because bro had gone days without sleeping and very little food and water and he already had low self-worth and kept asking the amis to kill him and just assumed he was going to die AND THEN valjean upended his understanding of the world and morality. he was really going through it & there are a lot of overlapping reasons for why he jumps into the seine.
but javert is like Number One Most Responsible guy in the whole story. taking responsibility is his Thing (forever bitter the musical doesn’t include the punish me monsieur le maire scene). how else, in his derailment, could he atone for his conceived misdeeds other than by handing in his resignation to god? in the brick he had already left a note urging his superiors to treat convicts at toulon better, which is another step in his repentance (and another crime the musical commits by not including it). jumping into the seine was another step.
honestly a lot of ppl who like the book think the musical was dead wrong to exclude him from the big heaven group sing, because it COMPLETELY undermines the themes of forgiveness and compassion threaded throughout les mis. like the musical was simply wrong lol.
This is helpful context! I am still finishing the brick, although I have fully read the abridged version, and that detail about the letter wasn't included, so I didn't know that occurred! (And thank you for the message--this is a long response but I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!)
I agree that Javert is certainly deeply distraught and remorseful; like you mentioned, his worldview is literally falling apart, and his actions reflect his mental state. But his death isn't really repentance--in the sense that it's not what God would have wanted. To me it reads like a Judas situation: a desperate realization of a huge mistake, and doing the only thing you think can make it right, namely, ending it all. That's the just punishment for someone so wrong, isn't it?
But true repentance, meaning the repentance that the Lord desires, is about changing your ways, not "paying a price." Had Javert really understood the beauty of Valjean's mercy (an image of Christ's, just as the bishop's undeserved mercy was to Valjean himself), rather than killing himself, he would have lived to also become "an honest man"--in heart. One who could forgive and understand forgiveness, for himself as well as others. One who could recognize that he is not The Law, that he can fall, but that he can also be "brought to the light." One who could accept that men like Valjean, and men like himself, CAN change, and be changed.
It's tragic to me because so much of "Stars," and his character in the book as well as the musical, is about wanting to be righteous, to rise above his birth and the sinfulness he associates it with. It's about wanting to please the Lord by his actions. But in his end, he shows he never understood what God really wanted from him, and that's where my original phrase comes in: not righteousness, but repentance. To live, and face the man you were, knowing it's no longer the man you are. That it's never been about what you've done or can do, but about what's been done for you. That's the Gospel that he could never fully accept.
To use another example you mentioned, that misunderstanding drives why he asks the Mayor (Valjean) to punish him--in his worldview, mercy is unjust, or at the very least, unfair. Evil must be punished; "those who fall like Lucifer fell" receive "the sword." But "as it is written," God "desires mercy, not sacrifice" (Matthew 9:13). God would have wanted Javert to live, and Javert couldn't see that, and that's why it's devastating to me. In his misunderstanding of the heart of God, he misses what would have set him free from the chains of sin he's always been trying to escape.
That's why he's contrasted with Valjean, who (though he carries guilt about his past till the end of his life) is eventually able to face it and confess what he had done to those he loves. He knew there was mercy to be found, if only it was asked for. Javert was too blinded by pride and shame to realize it, and so, while broken, he never was able to truly repent.
For that, you must go on.
#i have a lot more thoughts on this specifically as it relates to pride as javert's fatal flaw. that's what kept him from grasping it all#because fundamentally he believes what he does is what sets him apart as righteous. that's the symbolism of the brand: your deeds define you#so if it's actually been about mercy all along then he has been needlessly cruel when he thought it was righteousness#and all of his actions that he thought made him better have been for nothing. he's carried shame for nothing. been a slave for nothing#les miserables#les mis#inspector javert#responses aka the ramblings of my brain#my meta posts#meta#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#no actually i'm still not done just needed to interrupt for the search tags etc.#shame is only possible where pride is present#that's my hot take. if javert had been truly totally humble he would not have killed himself. he would have accepted the gift of life#which is the same gift we are given in christ!! and that's honestly why it isn't repentance because the whole thing is a christian allegory#his suicide shows that he still regards himself as judge. he determines the punishment#and in his song the lyrics are full of things like 'damned if i'll live in the debt of a thief' 'i'll spit his pity right back in his face'#he is too prideful to accept the gift that christ has given: salvation UTTERLY unearned and undeserved. through grace alone#narratively he represents the Law (old covenant) in christianity and those who still choose to live under it#romans 3:20 says 'therefore by the deeds of the law shall no flesh be justified in His sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin'#but valjean represents one saved by the new covenant. who can see that his 'righteousness is as filthy rags' (isaiah 64:6) and is redeemed#and that is why ultimately from a narrative perspective valjean has salvation and javert does not#not that javert did not see his wrongdoing but that he could not look past his own 'righteousness'#anyway this was all very christian-info-dump but the book is too so i feel it was justified 😂 but that's my interpretation#would love to hear more thoughts if you have them!! i truly hope this didn't come off as combative bc i mean it super genuinely!#kay has a party in the tags#kay is a musical theater nerd#kay is a classical literature nerd
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
~
#delete later#another journal entry 📝 for the void#i have not been sleeping well for the past 2 wks 😵💫 i always wake up like clockwork after 5-6 hrs which feels like not nearly enough#i feel like i've done everything there is to do (consistent exercise + consistent sleep times + earplugs + weighted blanket + no caffeine)#last night i took melatonin too but no... same problem staying asleep 😭#ahh whatever. i'm just frustrated that it has to be this way :(#anyways in an act of spite i reread like the 4 wips that have been sitting in my drafts from the past few weeks#i think something that will never cease to surprise me about writing is that more effort/time doesn't necessarily translate to better#results; i suppose that's the case with all kinds of art but#it does feel somewhat unintuitive. one of my fav professors in uni said to not dismiss those 'lightning in a bottle' moments (in art) as#blind luck... but to instead analyze the circumstances and iterate on recreating them. and i think one of my artist friends who i deeply#respect said something similar (wrt artistic rituals/setup). i have too many thoughts on writing and on my own creative processes and#weaknesses to fit into any number of tags here. :') that said...#*shakes ch2 draft* after everything i did and all the hours i spent WHY are you still so bad?!!! D: i am baffled and frustrated.#and why do i prefer this other [redacted] draft which i hammered out with utterly no regard towards the quality??#anyways. back to the drawing board i guess T.T
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
crashes ur board meeting n drags u out by the collar but its fine bc youre the one always saying shit like "im looking for people i can use" ok lol. get used idiot
#just tracing like. the sequence of events that had to take place in order for this to come to pass#1. natori and his shiki are skulking around homura stalking ban. possibly it's just his shiki and natori is elsewhere.#either way 2. natsume shows up and natori learns about it either bc he witnesses it or a shiki comes to tell him#3. natori gets in his little richard scarry apple car (this is my mental image for some reason) & fucking. BOOKS IT to the matoba compound#4. goes inside. presumably matoba lackeys try to stop him bc their boss is in an important meeting but somehow he gets past them#(possibilities here are v fun to think about. maybe natori does this all the time and they're used to it. maybe he's never done it before#but they're all on orders to let natori in if he ever shows up. maybe natori convinces them he's supposed to be IN the meeting#which is great because it sounds like some important clan thing so what is he in the clan now??)#5. interrupts matoba's meeting like 'i need you' and matoba's like 'bye everyone whatever this is is more important'#6. they get in natori's comical apple car (again the apple car is not canon don't worry about it)#& natori drives like a bat out of hell back to homura. (SOURCE: matoba is so scarred he refuses natori's offer for a ride later)#i wonder what they talk about on the way there? because they don't talk about why natori is stalking ban until much later#so they must be busy talking about something else. but what??#that or they're both too distracted by all the near-death experiences from natori's crazed driving lol#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#homura cats arc#horrible exorcists#my posts#sidenote i feel like that page at the end where both matoba and sensei refuse natori's offers of a ride is really funny because#sensei's reason is that it will take too long. but sensei did you know natori drives like a speed demon? think it thru...#also like. how long did it take him to decide to involve matoba? was that his backup plan all along?#also it's pretty lucky that he found matoba at all considering he could be anywhere...the matoba have like 15 houses...#he has matoba's schedule memorized lol#natori sparkling to the assorted clan members in the meeting: sorry ladies and gentlemen i just need to borrow this~#*throws matoba over his shoulder and fireman-carries him to the parking lot*
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
we went over the 14yr long torture session in my last therapy visit actually, and i told her that toward the end i was fantasizing about and then actively considering walking into traffic because if i got catastrophically injured then they would have to treat my pain. and she told me that's not an uncommon thing for people to do. that she has heard that many times before.
like think about that. we are so moralistic about drug use and have politicized a particular type of medicine so much, and doctors are so uncompassionate toward and even suspicious of patients who are in pain because of it, that it's NOT UNCOMMON for people who are otherwise not suicidal to start completely genuinely longing to get hit by a fucking car just for the chance to be oh so graciously provided the absolute bare fucking minimum of care.
think about how many different things have pain as a symptom. how many things have pain as the only symptom the patient is aware of. how many of them are life or death crises. heart attacks. blood clots. strokes. bleeding ulcers. those are just what i can think of off the top of my fucking head, AND I'M NOT A FUCKING DOCTOR.
what i had, for example, feels exactly like appendicitis. and they left it for fourteen years because my only symptom was excruciating pain and i didn't fit their stupid little (completely unsupported by evidence, btw) diagnostic mnemonic. if it had been appendicitis, or anything else as immediately deadly that "just" hurts, i would have fucking died the same night i got sent home from the emergency room with "medical" "advice" to take some tylenol and rest - for the first time, that is. out of dozens. how many people do die that way?
because addicts are Bad. and because doctors are too arrogant and biased to practice medicine on the basis of evidence and informed consent when the profit model and conservative propaganda make it soooo easy to stay in the good old days of paternalism instead.
#jack facts#medical#soc#i want to tag this ''opioid crisis'' but i truly don't think i can manage to type it without the quote marks lmao#and like my thing and none of the things i mentioned are fixable via opioids obviously and fucking obviously i know that#but the fucking circus about opioid use and how prescribing opioids Must be avoided at All Costs No Matter What#results in this Us vs Them mentality of The Treacherous Drug Seeker vs The Nurse/Doctor Too Smart To Be Fooled#which is precisely why i said in my last post that they're ''like cops''#they have this perception that they are being constantly rushed by the lying swindling Enemy#and are so smug about it when they believe they have magically divined when someone reporting pain is faking or exaggerating#based on whatever the fuck they individually have decided is Drug Seeking Behavior TM TM TM#which are almost fucking always just normal fucking behavioral responses to pain and fear!!!!#and then that person is not a Patient (as cops are to Victim) they are instead an Addict (as cops are to Criminal)#and that person not only does not get pain relief they don't get anything the god damn fuck else either except a fucking attitude#and people fucking die. of whatever is hurting in the first place or from their endurance for endless torment running out.#disproportionately women and people of color and fat people and the mentally ill and disabled and the poor and children and the elderly and#nurses/doctors 🤝 cops 🤝 soldiers 🤝 ceos 🤝 mass murderers who are socially celebrated for heroism#not to put too radical and fine a point on it or anything lol#ANYWAY#i'll probably delete this or at least the tags lmao#whatever. i'm going to go lie in bed and have symptoms until 6 am when i have to get up to go be retraumatized at the medical lab :)#neglect#drug use#suicide#car crash#illness#ask to tag
11 notes
·
View notes