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raayllum · 6 months ago

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im new to the fandom, so I miss a lot of the discourse (helped ofc by the fact you're kinda the only dp blog I follow), so everytime you mention the s4 backlash I'm like....how in the world could people hate that season or rayllum in it? It doesn't compute for me!

The last ship I was particularly engaged with, has a lot of similarities with rayllum. They were best friends, life partners before they were ever /romantic/ life partners. And they went through a /lot/ of trauma, miscommunication, and being on opposite sides of the same fight, etc etc.

the difference to rayllum was that they never rlly gave each other the grace they need. They also never talked on screen, but unlike rayllum it wasn't because it was the best option for them, it's just that the writers didn't want to include it ever - to the point that when they finally did an episode addressing it, it landed...very flat? Because it was about six seasons in, addressing things as far back as the second season, that they'd apparently never spoken to each other about before (they were tragically engaged when this happened).

Rayllum GENERALLY but especially in s4 have a really special place in my heart, because they feel very realistically messy - but it doesn't feel like it's there so there's some drama to keep audiences hooked. It feels authentic, and is one of those rare cases where it strengthens their relationship. I definitely could buy that rayllum would survive anything that hit their relationship by the end of s3, but getting to actually SEE that and see how much they're willing to work through out of love and respect for each other? Fantastic.

(also like it's such good character development....i am with u in the s4 defense squad. is there a squad? If there is I'm in it)

First off welcome to the fandom and I hope you're having a good time!!

The fact that my blog is mostly discourse free cause while I tag accordingly (fandom nonsense and dragons gets salty for potential blacklisting purposes) I always worry I can dip too far into that on occasion (I do my best not to unless being called out by name, and even then mostly do my best to ignore stuff), but there's not too much discourse within TDP in general — at least not in the Rayllum corner, luckily.

I think that's why the S4 backlash really surprised and threw me for a loop, because my partner and I finished the season at like 7AM on release day and while different than expected, we loved it and thought it was great from the start. Then we went online and people in the fandom who I'd largely always agreed with were having a really hard time with the season and it was disheartening at least to not have many people to talk to about why 1) S4 is TDP's thematically strongest season thus far and that's still true, 2) it's Ezran's best season imo, and 3) it does a lot of things really really well in really interesting ways.

I always try to never come down Too Hard on the s4 backlash just because people are of course entitled to their feelings/opinions then as well as now (even if some people's tunes have definitely changed), but a lot of it did feel sometimes short sighted if not immature.

Like soo many people are still mad that Rayla and Callum broke up in an offscreen graphic novel, when S4 would still be S4 regardless of whether TTM existed and like... if Rayla worrying that she failed (again) and went off on her own (again) to protect Callum was a big logical leap, then that person honestly just wasn't paying attention; there's not much else to say there. I also think it's just a strange choice to assume that Nothing Major would change the second you find out about a timeskip; like, almost everything else is status quo, Rayla being gone is the One Major Change and people couldn't handle that being a Surprise?

Like you said, conflict between a couple is not inherently a bad thing; it can be good and interesting, and this was always a relationship hurdle I think a lot of Rayllums (myself included) expected Rayla and Callum to have to tackle. Not liking how extreme or 'dramatic' it was (ie. season long arc > just a few episodes, or Rayla leaving > just trying to leave) is fair enough, but given that it's rooted in so much of Rayla's character, I'd much rather take a long way around approach that's in depth. I'm also just Glad and Grateful that the show is tackling it and treating it like the issue it is rather than sweeping things under the rug.

The fact that Callum's version of anger wasn't the one people wanted is another issue, but again — his anger went the way I'd always thought it might if he just went through enough trauma, and even if he had yelled at her, I don't think the season would've necessarily gone any different than it did other than them crying more early on. Which I've written and wouldn't have minded, but I also don't dislike the alternative route canon took — of course they were never going to get all variations out there, but Callum is cold as hell and being a bit of a jerk while also being valid and tempering himself because he doesn't want to hurt her anymore than she wants to hurt him (and Callum has always been very very bad at being/staying mad with Rayla or Ezran anyway).

I saw a lot of pushback against Rayllum being 'platonic' (which was annoying as an aromantic person lemme tell you, as though platonic is lesser), being "broken up for no reason" (Rayla being hyper-independent was not a secret and always going to be what threatened to rip them apart; they are also still Visibly and Repeatedly In Love with each other how is that broken up), or that they didn't get to have a Big Feelings Time in S4.

With that in mind, there's a lot that also matters in a relationship beyond just Open Communication, tbh. There's going to be times in life where you're not able to or unwilling to talk about certain things (given that S4 is maybe a week, I think that's reasonable; especially when Rayllum still haven't talked to each other about it as of s5 and no one I saw have an issue in S4 about it has complained about it there) and like... how do you treat each other when you're still mad or confused and haven't talked everything out? Do you still take care of each other, are you still doing your best to be considerate of each other (even if you're also not going to be perfect)? That shit matters just as much if not more as people able to sit down and hash things out.

I think the truth is a lot of the things that pissed people off about S4 would've been true even if the opposite things had happened:

N'than is flat and under developed unlike Ellis → N'than is more developed → why is N'than taking away from screentime for other characters?

The Sunfire plotline feels disconnected from the rest of the story (nvm that Viren's arc from 1x06 onwards doesn't affect any main character again until 3x04) → the Sunfire plot line has more connections to the main cast crammed in → more complaints about pacing and things feeling overly stuffed, as scenes already change from one to the next quite clearly

Callum and Rayla have a big talk sometime between 4x03-4x07 → this doesn't give Callum enough time to be angry / makes him seem unreasonable because he's admitted he was mostly worried but is still not fully letting her in despite her spilling her guts to him (and in what world would Rayla give excuses, again, when she knows he's the one hurting and taking priority in her mind)

S4's humor was bad because there were fart jokes (in one episode) → the crowlord's joke is so much worse than the fart jokes imo and is on par with the walnut joke in 1x06. also 1-2 scenes with jokes that didn't work for you out of 9 whole ass episodes is like. you're just a wuss i'm sorry

The Sunfire plot line is boring → will never not feel like "I just can't connect or be interested in politics and religious disagreements when it's mostly about Black people for Some Reason (racism)" to me tbh

There was no way to please everyone especially after a three year hiatus (because people think, For Some Reason, that how much time it takes for a story to come out should change how that story is written and it really, really doesn't) but yeah. The internet showed their asses and I was Not Impressed lmao

TLDR; a lot of the S4 backlash was "I'm mad this isn't happening now and I'm stressed out/worried that it won't be" as opposed to "this is only a problem if it never happens at all, but I have faith that it will," and I will love S4 forever. The Callum-Viren parallels being ramped up, the theme of duality and moving "doing terrible things for love" to the forefront with multiple characters (Rayla, Terry, Viren, Claudia), seeing Ezran step into his role as king, Callum's arc being shown > told, the set up for the possession plot line, Janaya's engagement and relationship development + Amaya and Janai's independent arcs? Chef's kiss. S4 is my best friend and its Rayllum dynamic is on par with S3 for me, and I am very grateful the fandom's attitude towards s4 and s4 Rayllum is a lot warmer / more reasonable now

When Callum says "unconditionally" in 5x01 and all their stuff in S5 we know and believe it because we've seen them fight and work so hard to come back from some pretty terrible brinks in imperfect ways, and I'll always love s4 for that. The most aspec Rayllum season by far

#thanks for asking #anonymous #also feel free to come off anon and message me if you'd like! i promise i don't bite and that i am a loser (affectionate)#long post #s4 is my best friend #s4 #arc 2 #which is saying something bc s2 and s1 rayllum is also SO GOOD #like it never has to be anyone's favourite by any measure. but it is just NOT a bad season or handling of the characters #it's just not

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tonydaddingham · 9 months ago

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six months on (albeit, a bit late) part 2/3

part one | part two | epilogue (at some point)

okay right this is significantly more important (and more interesting frankly) than doing the job that im actually paid to do, so let's pick up where we left off in part one. main conclusions that ive come to so far, as a recap:

aziraphale feels threatened by the conversation with the metatron and feels he has little choice but to go to heaven. also, possibly feels aware that the metatron might be able to see/hear their conversation, and so has to be careful in his own proposal that does not alert crowley to there being something wrong, and does not alert metatron to his suspicion of him

wants to bring crowley with him because... yk, love. and he thinks that the restoration might be something that crowley has always wanted anyway, so he has to offer it without clueing crowley in on the possibility that aziraphale is under some kind of duress

aziraphale was initially very resistant to going, but only gave in when a) metatron brought up crowley in the first place (implied threat aforementioned), b) crowley could be restored (which he thinks crowley might want anyway but never entertained could happen), and c) it would give aziraphale an opportunity to not only change heaven as it currently is, but also recognises him - in all his perceived imperfection as an angel - to be the "right man for the job"

crowley understandably refuses, and launches into his confession/proposal. both of them want the same end result - being together - but the journey there is the contested part. aziraphale tries to persuade crowley into coming with him by subtly changing his language and mannerisms, almost like he's leaking out hints as to why it is so important that they remain together

the only true miscommunication they have - that aptly heralds the beginning of the end - is "nothing lasts forever". everything else, arguably (aside from aziraphale's attempt to keep things under wraps) is fairly well communicated, but they simply. disagree

i will hastily add, as i said in part one, that this is still only my interpretation of the whole sequence; there have been so many amazing observations that have made my opinion/interpretation of the final fifteen flit from one stance to another, and these two posts are purely me rewatching it all, paying closer attention, and working out what the hell (ha) i think is going on.

so, we left off at "good luck".

aziraphale definitely appears taken aback that crowley has not, in fact, understood what he meant throughout the whole conversation, and most of all appears to have completely shut down with "nothing lasts forever". where aziraphale thinks that crowley putting his glasses back on means that they're about to leave together, hand in hand, and face whatever has been dealt to them... it's actually crowley drawing the line in the sand, and sticking (rightly so) to his set boundary that he will not return to heaven as an angel - regardless of the optimistic assumption of what that would precisely entail (ie. this is assuming that restoration is even possible, let alone that crowley would be able to be restored and simultaneously keep his memories/his "him" in the process... arguably, these two options are likely the more realistic).

aziraphale is now, more desperately and in plainer language, resorting to begging crowley to see why this is the best choice they can make to remain together. but this is also where i feel like aziraphale's double-speak language that he exhibited with "...i can make a difference"/"we can make a difference", and the metatron jibe, is growing more frantic and - as a result - more obvious.

to me, he's clearly trying to impress upon crowley that he is not rejecting him, that he wants crowley with him desperately... but is equally having to keep his expression of this as... strategic as possible. it's almost like he's flitting between talking to crowley in as heartfelt and candid a manner as he can, and then squeaking in the caveats that are for the benefit of this assumed pretence he's playing - i guess what im trying to say is that aziraphale can't very well turn around and say, 'crowley i am not rejecting you, i want to be with you, but i cannot get out of this situation im being placed in, and i cannot leave you here on your own because i have no idea - and am scared of - what will happen.' the way he says "work with me!"; 'its going to be me and you against them, still. that's all it was ever going to be; i am not theirs, i am yours, but i have to play this game' - which incidentally, to any outside ears, would arguably just sound like aziraphale asking for crowley to... well, work with him. "we can be together!" is said with all due emphasis and cry, and aziraphale neatly tacks on, "angels, doing good!", because they would do good - good as they see it - and crowley would have to be an angel in order to do so, yes, but ultimately aziraphale wants him... and yet still remains plausible to anyone who could be listening.

i do still think - for the record - that there is a part of aziraphale that thinks that this is absolutely the right thing to do. crowley has put other options to him that, in contrast, solve nothing as far as aziraphale is concerned, and this sense of threat from the metatron only forces into sharp relief that whatever happens, wherever they go, they are not free of anything and never will be until something changes. this line of thinking has not always been how aziraphale has thought historically - but it's who he is now. if we accept that all of the hard, agonising decisions and choices that aziraphale has had to make, all of the times where he has battled with what is the right thing to do (arguably - exactly as crowley has taught him), has led to this moment, then aziraphale standing steadfast to his decision is absolutely in line with the character development we've been shown throughout both seasons.

that is just my interpretation given the events that come before this bit of the dialogue; whichever way you look at it though, aziraphale is evidently panicked and erratic that this might actually be it - that he and crowley are done. the really interesting bit for me, however, lies in his movements, his body language, and his expressions? they feel more in line with how aziraphale normally acts. to me, all of this is genuine, it's not put on, nor faked; where before he was trying to hide his fear under the guise of excitement, it now feels like this is actually aziraphale speaking, and not some uncanny facsimile who is trying to clutch every fraying string and keep it all together. also worth noting that during this part of the interaction that not once, as far as we see it, does aziraphale look out of the window.

whichever way you look at it though, aziraphale is evidently panicked and erratic that this might actually be it - that he and crowley are done. the really interesting bit for me lies in his movements, his body language, and his expressions? they feel more in line with how aziraphale normally acts. to me, all of this is genuine, it's not put on, nor faked; where before he was trying to hide his fear under the guise of excitement, it now feels like this is actually aziraphale speaking, and not some uncanny facsimile who is trying to clutch every fraying string and keep it all together. also worth noting that during this part of the interaction that not once, as far as we see it, does aziraphale look out of the window.

crowley though? crowley has clocked out. noone could blame him at all, especially after the sucker punch of the previous half of the sequence, because whilst i think he's hearing aziraphale say these things spoken with sincerety, probably even recognises them to be genuine, he's possibly also hearing the unspoken, perceived caveat that comes along with them. "we can be together... but you have to change." "we can be together... but i'll never love you, as you are, as much as you want me to."

he's hearing what aziraphale is saying, and either he doesn't believe it, or he's resentful that he would say this now - from crowley's pov - to cover up and compensate for what he said before. as he goes to walk away, but is called back by aziraphale, his turn and his carriage is... not petulant, that's the wrong word, but almost impatient? like he's humouring aziraphale at this point, but not that he has much more interest in what aziraphale has got to say. and again! given everything that has just been said and done, from crowley's perspective, that's completely understandable.

it's the turn of the head; crowley already has his barrier up with his glasses on, but he's cutting off any remaining communication he can give to aziraphale. it's interesting that he's specifically chosen to look out of the window, where we presume the metatron is - but does crowley even see him? does crowley essentially dissociating so rapidly that he can't even see that the metatron is there? or does he see him, and think that it's of very little consequence - the metatron won, he's got aziraphale (or - aziraphale was always heaven's, anyway), and it's barely worth notice or comment?

but it's also like he's giving aziraphale another chance - another chance to change his mind. if he didn't at least have a small flicker of hope left that that might happen, it stands to reason that crowley would have simply kept on walking. but he stops, and he waits. as aziraphale keeps talking, however, he turns his head specifically as he says "together", and appears to clamp his mouth shut as he does so, as if almost to say 'it's no use saying all this, because i'm hurt and i'm angry and i'm giving up. you want us to be together only if i come back; i'm never going back, you keep pushing, so how can you so desperately want to be with me if this is the only circumstance in which you can bring yourself to do so?'

of course, then, we get aziraphale's last gut-wrenching plea that he needs crowley. it's so simple a statement, and it has no condition afterwards, nothing to qualify it - and yet it is still something that aziraphale has never said, or - to my recollection - ever expressed in this capacity. sure, he's begged him with puppy-dog eyes to make hamlet popular, or to miracle the stain out of his coat, but nothing so heartfelt and dire as this. it's as true to any love confession that i think we get in the final fifteen; especially when you consider the mirror of the line in 1862 - "i don't need you..." / "and the feeling is mutual, obviously!" - and the context in which that is said.

aziraphale has, as bravely and vulnerably as we've seen aziraphale do anything else, vocalised something as close to a love confession as he can currently get... and crowley doesn't say anything? doesn't even look at him? throughout this confession of sorts, crowley has continued to look out of the window, and whilst we know that this is likely out of self-preservation on his part, what must this seem like from aziraphale's perspective? presumably it feels like a rejection - but is that a rejection of the entire thing - the whole offer - or of what aziraphale has just told him?

in the above moment, we can see aziraphale's face clearly crumple in hurt when crowley doesn't even acknowledge what he's just said, before masking it rapidly with indignation. he then lashes out with "i don't think you understand what i'm offering you."

indenting this next bit, because i need to ramble it out:

whilst i do think (as i said in the last post), that aziraphale might genuinely believe that crowley in some small part wants to return to heaven to be an angel, crowley has quite clearly rejected, in the room, any notion of it. his repulsion at heaven, and the notion of forgiveness, is not as wishy-washy as it was at the bandstand; now, he is vehement and firm that his opinion of heaven cannot get any lower. and i think aziraphale knows it. plus, the way that aziraphale words and proposes the restoration offer to crowley feels like he was aware that it might be a hard sell. so when aziraphale says 'you don't understand what i'm offering you', i don't think that aziraphale was himself talking about the restoration specifically; i don't think he's essentially saying, 'crowley, you're being so stupid, you could be an angel again - what part of this don't you understand? do you even comprehend what i'm trying to give you, here?' what i think aziraphale is, however, offering to crowley is that he and crowley remain together. aziraphale doesn't have much of a choice in going back to heaven - that much seems fairly apparent - and the only way, as far as he sees it, that they can remain together is if they go back to heaven together. and to do that, crowley would need to become an angel. i know people have often viewed aziraphale's decision to return to heaven along of the lines of, 'he loves heaven more than he loves crowley'... but i don't think that's it at all. to aziraphale - him begging crowley to come with him, work with and help him to make a difference (i.e. the right thing to do, i.e. a difference that is meaningful to, and controlled by, them), for crowley to not even look at him when he tells him he needs him - it must frankly feel like a rejection of aziraphale himself? when aziraphale says that crowley doesn't understand what he's offering him, i think it's more along the lines of aziraphale saying that he's offering all of himself to crowley. in the hope that, even if it means crowley has to return to heaven, being together is enough to warrant it? that aziraphale himself is enough for crowley to want to do that? 'do you hate heaven more than you love me?'

this feels like a stretch, i grant you, but given everything we saw towards the beginning of the episode - especially where shax's first jibe at aziraphale is to undermine what aziraphale actually means to crowley ("emotional support angel"), something that aziraphale presumably already fears (i.e. that he's a means to an end, of sorts) - it doesn't seems implausible.

furthermore, when crowley retorts that he understands perfectly, and understands more than aziraphale does, aziraphale's reaction then makes more emotional sense. of course, from crowley's perspective, he thinks that this is about the restoration, and of course he understands more about what aziraphale is offering... because how can he not?! he is fallen, he fell, and there is no way he, someone who has gone thousands of years (potentially millions) being deemed unforgivable and irredeemable, can ever be restored like aziraphale is hoping he can. and why would he want to be? that's not something aziraphale as an angel would ever be able to fully understand; the futility of wishing otherwise, the insult, and the impossibility.

i do think that it's worth bearing in mind that canonically, the implication is that aziraphale was not there to witness crowley's fall - possibly not even the fall in its entirety. we're never shown any instance where crowley even talks about it to aziraphale. absolutely, this is evidently a delicate and (if nothing else) touchy subject for crowley, and he doesn't owe aziraphale a deeper account than the questionable "sauntered vaguely downwards". but equally, it's not fair to assume that aziraphale knows how much of a boundary he is crossing by even entertaining the idea, and pushing it.

perhaps he should have inferred it at a previous point, true, but... the closest we get to crowley talking about it is "the angel you knew is not me", and "i won't be forgiven! not ever!". it's not unrealistic that aziraphale would infer these two poignant lines as crowley being wistful for the chance at redemption or forgiveness. ultimately, in my view, it's not until the final fifteen that aziraphale begins to have even the faintest idea of just how deep crowley's antipathy for heaven runs. it's not a case of just thinking they're a bunch of dicks, but that fundamentally, crowley will never align with heaven under any circumstances.

so when crowley says this, he is absolutely saying 'i know about this subject more than you do; i am fallen, you are not, and you therefore are not able to understand like i do why being restored is not only unthinkable, but the worst outcome possible for me. it's not the good thing you think it is. i want us to be together, but you're asking for something i cannot - and will not - give you, and you don't seem to see the problem in asking me in the first place.'

but aziraphale is not thinking of this; what i think he might be hearing from crowley is, 'no no, i know you want to be together, and are offering yourself up to me with your whole heart; the issue is though that if it means i have to go to heaven to have it, to have you... it's not enough to make me do this. i don't want it; nothing and noone would warrant me doing this. you are not enough for me to acquiesce to going, and moreover you're not clever enough to understand that.'

it very quickly, i think, stops being about crowley not wanting to return to heaven - at least, not in the way they were previously discussing. instead, it feels like aziraphale is now starting to internalise crowley's reaction as a reflection on himself. which then, for me, that makes aziraphale's next line of "well... then there's nothing more to say." make all the more sense to me... because that's the kinda thing you say after things have really hit the ground, right? and i imagine, for aziraphale, hearing crowley essentially say that he's not enough would probably elicit that reaction. that crowley ultimately has no further use for him (again: "emotional support angel"), because crowley can so easily discard what they had, and so very nearly could have had. and not only that - crowley implies in his wording that, once again, whilst aziraphale is incredibly intelligent in some ways, he can also be phenomenally stupid (which turned out great the last time he said it).

aziraphale clearly tries to put a brave face on - school his expression, blink away the tears that are clearly gathering and brace his mouth against the trembling - and slap on the fakest, tightest, weakest smile. just before it switches to crowley, however, you can see the anger begin to set in; looking towards the ground, aziraphale seems like he's already given way to the feelings of disappointment and betrayal, and possibly even humiliation? that he's laid out his own heart - he thinks - so clearly, and it's being refused as if it's nothing.

now look, idk about anyone else watching this scene for the first time, but... my reaction to the part of this bit of dialogue was... not dissimilar to aziraphale's. after all of this emotional outpouring, both parties being hurt by the other, etc., it feels completely apropos of nothing for crowley to suddenly be asking if aziraphale can hear whatever he's meant to be hearing. aziraphale's reaction, to me, not only within character, but entirely reasonable; he's wound up, going through a thousand different emotions, and yet he's meant to be hearing... what? a car alarm? someone thumping out some drum and bass? of course aziraphale retorts testily, and agitatedly; they've just reached the end of an intense discussion and - as he sees it - the whimper end of six thousand years of being an 'us' in various capacities. he obviously isn't, but i can imagine that it would feel that crowley is trivialising what's just happened and, in aziraphale's shoes, i'd probably be a bit shitty - and subsequently bitchy - in my delivery too.

but of course - ha - we then get the suckerpunch of the nightingale line, and we feel the weight of it right alongside aziraphale. the poignancy and tragedy of what crowley is saying with this. there's been numerous of delicious metas regarding the motif or symbolism of the nightingale (personal favourite for me is the shakespearean link to the nightingale/lark in R&J), but in the context of the story? the context that both these characters presumably know and understand? we know about the end of s1, and it's suddenly apparent that the song was diegetic. that both of these characters recognise that the nightingale represents what they nearly - and did - have and accomplish by the end of s1.

there's no piano tinkling in the background, playing what we now understand is considered by both of them to be their song, (i still have very narrowed, suspicious eyes at 1941), to put them in a lovey-dovey mood... because this? right here? this isn't going to have a happy ending. calling attention to the sheer absence of it, figuratively speaking, only confirms for the both of them that whatever they did have - or were on the cusp of having - is gone.

moreso for aziraphale; it's abundantly clear when the finality of this hits him, evident in his dumbfounded expression that follows immediately after crowley says the line. and the way that crowley says it, how it could be perceived as incredibly nonchalant and casual (and for the audience absolutely betrays just how devastated crowley likely is in saying it), is evidently shocking for aziraphale; the notion that this is truly broken, this is done, and there is no coming back from it... and crowley already has a foot out the door already.

which is only hammered home with this:

idk, again, if this was the same for anyone else, but even upon first viewing, this felt acutely unfair. not only the idiot line, which as i've already alluded to seems to be a firm boundary for aziraphale (we'll get to 'i forgive you' in a minute huns, i promise), but the way that crowley very firmly places this whole thing upon aziraphale.

up until this point on first viewing, personally, i was content with appreciating that both of them had a good point; that their perspectives were so agonisingly polarising but had equal merit. but this does not all rest on aziraphale's shoulders; there isn't, to my mind, even any blame to assign in this whole sequence, but to my mind they are both equally accountable for the outcome. they cannot align their separate belief systems, can't align what they think is the right thing to do, but share the devastating want to be together. there's miscommunication, sure - but not enough that i think either leave each other not knowing that the other cares for them deeply. it's understandable why their paths have diverged, but both of them have been fighting for 'us' until this bitter end.

so, to then watch crowley essentially drop the blame for them not being together so squarely on aziraphale's shoulders was... frustrating, to say the least. that aziraphale is so firmly in the wrong, and that him being 'an idiot' is the only reason why they're not making out on the sofa and skipping into the metaphorical sunset right now. that - if we're being real here - if aziraphale had abandoned whatever he had considered to be the right thing to do, and followed crowley in what he wanted, what he considered right, that they'd have a future together (and that's not even taking into account the whole metatron-threat thing, but i hadn't reflected on that upon first watch).

i think the fact that crowley did this, frankly, is not lost on aziraphale. he certainly reacts accordingly; his face crumples minutely before he turns reflexively away - both away from crowley, and away from the metatron (because, lest we forget, he is still outside). it feels like what were web-like fractures spidering out across aziraphale have now suddenly cracked under the pressure, and the first piece has fallen. it makes sense that in this moment of actual physical vulnerability, something that aziraphale wasn't quick enough to school away and mask, he would turn from crowley to hide the hurt he's just handed him.

(lol are you ready bc i'm not)

sigh.

okay right; this is probably the only bit of the final fifteen sequence where, by large, my reaction to it has not changed. to be clear; i love the kiss for what it does narratively, and the delicious possibilities that it opens up in s3. i think the kiss, and their respective reactions within it, are perfectly in line with their characters. frankly, on the whole, i enjoy it for what it is.

lets start with the preceding bit, as a reminder; crowley's distraught, aziraphale's distraught, we're all distraught. crowley has said something that, to my mind, is quite frankly unfair, but understandable for him to say from his perspective. it's also the line that causes aziraphale to physically break, and he's turned away from crowley to hide himself and prevent crowley from seeing the hurt that it's caused him, the ensuing vulnerability. to my mind, by extension, aziraphale is now at a point where he thinks it's all over, that there's nothing to salvage, and that they're done. crowley certainly seemed to give that impression with his line about the nightingales, and "we could have been us."

aziraphale breaking, and turning away, evidently spurs something within crowley; that there does seem, somehow, to be some hope that aziraphale will stay, and so crowley immediately strides over to him. the thing is that after initially watching it, and then thinking on it a little more (and rewatched another six or so times), i... didn't get it? i didn't get what the point of it was. it seemed abundantly clear to the both of them that aziraphale wasn't going to change his mind, and neither was crowley (and tbh, neither of them should - and even if one of them did, it wouldn't erase the *waves around vigorously* everything that just happened), so what was the kiss meant to prove? what result was it meant to have?

it could be that there wasn't meant to be a result of any kind, that crowley was just outpouring his emotion in a make-or-break physical way. yes, absolutely, and i would think that (that it was a purely emotional action, not necessarily meant to do anything), but... when they break apart, crowley clearly appears to be waiting for something.

but i'll get to that in a minute; the point however seems to be it's aziraphale's break that kicks crowley into action. that he still has an 'in', and he can use it. aziraphale cracked, crowley sees a glimmer of hope, and does the most direct thing that comes to mind that would impress upon aziraphale just how desperate crowley is for him to change his mind.

i said in a meta a few months ago, god knows where it is now, that the whole interaction appears somewhat predatory - like, literally, in the animalistic sense. it's violent, and fast, and there's no room for discussion or manoeuvre in it; grab him by the lapels, drag him round, plant it on him, and hold him there. the dance and motion of it is almost serpentine in nature. of course, again, i absolutely recognise the desperation with which crowley is evidently acting, and there's no part of me that thinks that this is done out of anything but the most deep-seated, painful, aching love, but it's... still uncomfortable. i don't see any romance in this, personally, at all.

that doesn't diminish the romantic feelings fuelling it, however, but it's not the kind of kiss, i think, you would expect to see from someone intending to romance someone into remaining with them...? of course it's more than possible (a certainty really, depending on the hc; ymmv) that crowley has simply never kissed anyone before, and just simply doesn't know... what to do? and maybe that explains why he doesn't move, doesn't actually... do much of anything, whilst kissing aziraphale. but we know crowley has seen at least one stereotypically romantic film, and presumably has seen romantic kisses throughout history. so to me, it kinda begs the question of - if a typically-romantic, climactic, show-stopping snog wasn't the intention here, what was?

i put this in a photoset when the parallel had struck me, as they often do, at 2am; there was a huge emphasis played, in crowley and aziraphale's first truly meaningful encounter post-eden, on aziraphale's first temptation. something that he obviously enjoyed for millennia to come, and has a huge impact on him as an angel and as a person.

additionally, someone else posted at some point soon after s2 aired that the way aziraphale devours a whole bloody cow is reflective of the fact that, at the time, he didn't realise he was starving. apply this to the kiss, and we can imagine what kissing crowley would mean for him in turn. if aziraphale succumbed to the ox-rib temptation, and likely other temptations that followed afterwards, it would make sense that crowley might - might - resort to a similar method in getting him to stay, at a point when all else has failed, and crowley thinks he has no other option left.

i'm in two minds as to whether crowley meant the kiss, full-chest, to actually be a temptation (for me, it makes his characterisation even more nuanced and complex, so i'm largely on the side of it having been intentional, i'm afraid), but the way that he pulls back afterwards, and waits for the verdict, strongly suggests to me that it might have been.... waiting/hoping? for aziraphale to change his mind. that if it was a temptation, that he pulls away hoping that aziraphale will declare himself to remain on earth with crowley.

i realise the above may be a point of contention, and accept that - tbh, i just enjoy exploring the possibility. and even if crowley hadn't intended it that way, i think aziraphale certainly may have seen it that way (which again, for me, is in line with aziraphale's development starting in s1 with resisting crowley's insistence that he kill the antichrist etc.). but again i'm getting ahead of myself-

so wham, in with the kiss. aziraphale obviously reacts initially in shock (no, i don't think it's revulsion, but it's certainly surprise and likely a bit of the ole 'what the fuck'); he keeps his eyes open, his eyebrows drawn together in a frown, his posture is stiff, and his hands flail. but then... he melts into it. more than melts into it - he returns it. his eyes close, his face relaxes, and his hands come up, hesitantly and tentatively pressing into crowley's back. there does come a point during the kiss, however, where aziraphale's hands detach from crowley's back, and return to flitting around like he's unsure of what to do with them. at which point crowley finally releases him, and breaks the kiss.

a combination of aziraphale not physically pushing him away, and even proceeding to draw crowley in, with tenderness? to crowley, i can imagine he breaks the kiss hoping ever so slightly that whatever it was meant to be or convey - temptation, whatever - made aziraphale change his mind. that this last-ditch effort was enough to make aziraphale stay. he pulls back, and almost seems expectant of some kind of result.

aziraphale's immediate reaction, once the kiss breaks, is not so static. he falls back out of crowley's clenched fists, and his face takes to unadulterated heartbreak and despair, but ultimately seems to be rooted in panic...? shock? aziraphale also pointedly looking out towards the doors is telling, because i don't think it's wholly left his mind about who's waiting outside, and the position that he's now been put into - where he has to reconcile this really quite distressing experience with everything that has come before it.

by god does aziraphale cycle through some emotions here. he can't even look at crowley whilst he processes this maelstrom that's going on - sorrow, longing, confusion, and pure shock - and stumbles over his words trying, i think, to find the right ones to say. the kiss, i think, has very nearly done its job; aziraphale is clearly conflicted, but i think struggling to find a way to express that he wants this, but he still can't stay. trying to anchor himself to something, to a decision, that won't destroy himself or crowley in the process.

however, before he even gets that far, there is a really key moment where his expression abruptly changes, almost like he's realised something. in that moment, it's where he finally makes eye contact with crowley, and for an infinitesimal moment, aziraphale seems to eye him with something like... betrayal? disbelief? and that's where, unfortunately, i think the temptation element comes in, because i think aziraphale recognises it (or at least, thinks he does). and possibly recognises that, from aziraphale's perspective, crowley has resorted to something that he knows nearly always works on aziraphale, trying to force his hand into doing something that aziraphale has already expressed he will not - and presumably cannot - do.

but beyond that; i've said before whilst kisses do not feature in austen's literary works, aziraphale is hardly ignorant of the trope that a kiss - typically - in romantic fiction can carry weight as a declaration of love. has aziraphale ever idly wondered on what it would be like to have a first kiss with crowley? yeah, probably. but arguably what crowley has done is taken that - taken something that is precious, tender, meaningful, and cannot be taken back and redone - and turned it into something heartbreaking, possibly manipulative, and overall - frankly - something ugly.

aziraphale even gets a little smirk on, because in that moment i think he's genuinely angry at crowley... for any/all of the above. he seems so plainly resentful and appalled by what he thinks crowley was doing, thinking that aziraphale wouldn't see through it, and resorts to his textbook bitchiness in the guise of a sarcastic and sardonic smile. and even his body language - he exhales sharply in a small huff, his shoulders relax and his posture straightens, and he even bears his teeth slightly the smallest of snarls. and then, of course, he delivers the fatal blow of "i forgive you".

i know there have been a fair few interpretations of this line, and what aziraphale was saying with it. mine, personally, is very simple; this is how aziraphale can basically get away with telling crowley to go fuck himself. in s1, he says it in a way - responding to crowley's rather painful line about aziraphale being 'so clever, but so stupid' - that almost feels, on the surface, as if it's intended with benevolence and kindness... but is instead saying 'fuck you, that hurt. so i'm going to say this in return knowing it will hurt/annoy you in turn.'

and tbh, i don't think it's any different in this moment of the final fifteen sequence either. aziraphale is clearly hurt (once he delivers the line, you can see his face shift once again back into soft sorrow) and clearly angry. he is lashing out in a way befitting his 'bit (see: lot) of a bastard' streak, because he perceives it to be striking at something that resembles a weakness, or sore point, for crowley. it's also a clever insomuch that should anyone ever overhear him, he's being his devout angel self... but to him and crowley, it's absolutely a code that they both patently understand.

crowley then seems to just... accept that nothing has changed/it didn't work, and simultaneously rolls with the gut punch that was "i forgive you", like he's not even really surprised that aziraphale had that response to give him. he sighs, in a way that practically vocalises 'disappointed but not surprised', and succumbs to the inevitability of them not having (yet) the happy ending that he'd perhaps hoped. he turns, tosses "don't bother" over his shoulder, and leaves the shop.

i think "don't bother" could be taken multiple ways; if we accept that crowley actually knows the underlying subtext in "i forgive you", it could him saying, essentially, 'don't waste your breath, we're done/i'm going'. if he takes it literally, it could be 'i'm a demon, as you've so clearly pointed out, don't bother trying'... or 'i'm not sorry or asking for forgiveness, i did what i felt was right'.

last little bit before i close off here (i'll do an epilogue for the last bit of the sequence, up until credits roll; there's too much to try to squeeze into like two gifs and a couple of paragraphs):

when crowley leaves, aziraphale most obviously looks desperate himself, panicked, and heartbroken... i'm even somewhat sure that he's about to call crowley's name, or a simple "no" (this bit is next on my 'lipread' list) and stops himself. his lip pouts, he's breathing heavily, and whilst - by god - his eyes are a watery mess throughout the entire sequence, this is probably as close as he gets to shedding actual tears. there's still some residue confusion, like 'what the fuck just happened, that's not how that was supposed to go'.

it's clear that aziraphale is generally distressed, and he certainly looks this way... just before the point that his hand raises to his lips. the way it's so shaky, and hesitant, the wide-eyed, shocked stare before rapidly blinking, perhaps both in disbelief and also to rid himself of the tears building? and then, whilst his fingers are almost trying to imprint the kiss even more, he lowers them and reveals his face stiffening into a sneer (jaw and nose tightens, eyes become more hooded, eyebrows draw together).

now, i'm in two minds as to who this sneer is directed at - is it at crowley, because of the same reasons he may have said 'i forgive you'? or is it at metatron, for putting him in this position in the first place? honestly, i think it's the former; aziraphale seems to have almost all but forgotten the metatron, and his reaction to metatron returning to the bookshop would support that. his head turns so quickly to the door when it opens, and that hope and surprise quickly disappears when he realises it's not crowley... turns away, most likely to wipe his eyes (even possibly his mouth), before turning back to the metatron to answer as to crowley's reaction.

which - and i'll leave off with this, because it'll follow neatly into the epilogue post - seems odd. metatron has presumably seen crowley come out of the shop, and even if they don't exchange a look, let alone words, he can clearly surmise that negotiations went a bit sour if crowley has left without aziraphale... if it wasn't obvious by now, it's seems to be a very blatant, and yet artfully delivered ploy. whether the motive was to separate them out of fear/trepidation, or just simply get aziraphale back in heaven under his thumb without crowley's influence, it's clear that the metatron never intended - nor thought it plausible - that crowley would agree to return to heaven. his next lines certainly cement that thought, and i think might have registered to aziraphale too.

i'll be back at some point ciao

#good omens #feral domestic/final fifteen meta #metatron spec #aziraphale meta

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6okuto · 7 months ago

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mmm i hope im understanding this character ask game right.. how about 1, 2, 6, 8, 9, 24 for the last legacy trio

(chara ask game) Oh Mamma Mia. i'm back in the fawking building ?! my memory of everything is so So minimal i'm gonna hope i can answer these. they might be incredibly sad looking answers though

1. Why do you like or dislike this character? — i don't remember specific moments or dialogue really but in general. i thought all of them were good-looking first of all. LOL. and they had rlly interesting plots!! the way they changed based on our choices (e.g. felix's treatment of rime in the last chapters) was just ?? so interesting to me?? even if i Was fawking it up. Idk guys I love character analysis and development. liked how their issues existed/manifested outside of their relationship w mc

felix: i thought he was kind of unique?? as an LI... with his personality and interests and the whole Necromancy thing. liked how he could be super smart and powerful but also be silly and. read smut. LOL. i could relate to him and found him endearing

anisa: i always thought she was lovely but realizing she's also silly and a mess at times made me more affectionate !! something about her star choices really hit. the dialogue and vibes Oh man she was everything. i think the thing was anisa trusting herself or mc but i can't remember which one we were supposed to aim for. i think i'd replay her route first if i ever installed again

sage: meow meow. IDK it takes..a lot.. for me to Really feel for charas like sage (flirty/charming + emotional vulnerability issues).. like i empathize but i always end up caring more about another chara. but he got me. he did. i think chapter 12-14 definitely made me like him more because you don't usually see Shit get Fucked AND try to help recover after. like that's usually It y'know. bad ending. so. i miss sage. goddmyogdn

2. Favorite canon thing about this character? — ...... ruh roh. someoneheplp.

felix: EXISTENCE! Chapter 12 Cg

anisa: EXISTENCE! Chapter 4 Cg

sage: EXISTENCE! and Loud Purr :3c Chapter 6/12/13 Cgs.

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

felix: ....we like to read... BDJGBJBSJD

anisa: #GIRLS and I, too, like shrimp.

sage: ...my god. i love sage i couldn't tell you what we have in common. problems with vulnerability and long hair

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise? — ...my memory truly evades me. i also didn't pay much attention to. fandom things. Habit of mine. i know felix could've been treated better with the babygirling thing. i think i was asked to write smth where he was jealous (or something??) and i was like . this feels ooc. but. that was my bad and about all i got..

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

felix: yes!!

anisa: yes!! i would like 2 be her roommate :3

sage: .... ? i feel like i wouldn't end up in a situation where this would happen. going to say. no? i mean maybe? sage isn't my first choice if it's only one other roommate...

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them? — I'm blanking So hard on All of my interests rn. i think if i couldn't think of stuff for sage hcs i'd look at kuroo posts. maybe?? like for energy and dialogue. i'm blanking so hard My god

#🧾nia.answers #<3 sara #;;ask game #like. well it soudns silly and fake if i say LL was kind of a casual interest 4 me #but it kind of was . and then i remember. What Happened. and my chest caves in a bit. WHAT ABOUT MY HAPPINESS #q

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iwanttofuckereh69 · 1 year ago

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now reading: 2ha vol 3

i finished it yesterday yay!

1. SHI MEI HAS WATER ELEMENT. I KNEW IT. I love it how it is kinda easy to miss, because Mo Ran doesn't mention it right away. It is said only several chapters later and probably if i werent making these posts and i wouldn't pay attention, it could easily fly over my head. But like... I still don't think that person at the end of vol 2 was Shi Mei. Would he really get reborn just to get that dick xD Given that the person really was reborn. Idk idk.

2. if you thought Shi Mei was my most problematic fave, im here to tell you i also adore Rong Jiu :))) I was interested in the bitch since the beginning but i didnt know he would show up again! And i was really sad when it turned out he died. And then i was even more sad because his story is ehhh AND THEN i checked out him in the manhua and he is so Jut Lung (banana fish) coded. No wonder i love him. But also he is so awful and annoying oh god. I still hope he will show up again to stir up some drama

3. and tbh shi mei annoyed me a bit. Bestie, fishing for Mo Ran's attention while CWN quite literally died and MR is obviously not well? And then he was weird in that scene with the soul catching lanterns, he never really said he is ready to go after CWN like the others and i was convinced he's gonna drop that lantern after all. Now tell me, am i just noticing it now and he was always weird or does it only start to show up in the later chapters?

3. CHU WANNING MADE WONTONS

its pretty surprising given his absolute failure at cooking the cabbage tofu something because the result would make Xie Lian proud. Like i said in the other post tho: "now i want to know if shi mei was deliberately doing all the other things to make mo ran fall for him or was he just there chilling and the guy just fell for him out of nowhere and misinterpreted everything like he does".

ALSO OH SHIT now it makes sense Shi Mei didn't make him wontons after CWN died. When I read that i was like huh, why not wontons, that would surely cheer him up more, but i totally ignored that thinking nothing of it. And literally only writing this post i realized. Makes me wonder how many other details i missed that paint the bigger picture. Ahhh i just love when books do that.

4. speaking of not thinking: i didn't realize before that Mo Ran's mom was courtesan. I don't know why, i really don't.

5. overall there is more questions than there is answers. At least its now clear what happened in Mo Ran's previous lifetime and why CWN couldn't save Shi Mei. But why the events are so different now? AND WILL IT REALLY TAKE CWN 5 YEARS TO COME BACK

#2ha #the husky and his white cat shizun #erha spoilers #2ha spoilers #now reading: 2ha #its a quick recap sorry if the writing is weird im in a hurry lol and eng is not my first language so brain sometimes does some weird shit

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nicomrade · 1 year ago

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I saw your tweet about Usogui happening in 2008, if so, on what date did Kaji and Baku meet? Since during the chapter 2 we can see on the horse race ticket it says 06/04/2006. If we assume that they are on the previous day, then Baku met Kaji on April 5, 2006.

oh anon you have insanely good eyes. i reread the first couple chapters trying to see if theres any time indications there n never noticed its right there on the ticket, so thank you for catching this! its kinda blurry but itd be 2006年4(?)6日, right? i cant read japanese i just vaguely know what dates look like so i cant tell what kanji is after the 4, im assuming its for the month

my 2008 claim comes from 2 places, one (the simplest) is during the air poker gamble its said eba died "10 years ago". we know he died in 1998, so air poker happens in 2008 (and so does everything else since radio tower since we know theres only 1 month between it and drop the handkerchief) but maybe this is supposed to be "almost 10 years/a decade" and the nuance was lost in translation?

the 2nd place i got it from (and what i first noticed, and ill admit its less precise ence why ill say i "guessed" it happens in 2008) is during the paper labyrinth gambles we can see the whiteboard w dates available for the gamble. uhm i realize this is kind of convoluted to explain why it takes place in X year, but heres the explanation in short

yukiide has a 10 year memory gap that he only woke up from 2 years ago. he wants to fill this gap through this gamble, therefor hes only offering dates FROM this 10 year memory gap. (chapter 83)

the dates range from may 1997 (at the earliest) and december 2006 (at the latest) thats almost a full 10 years length so there IS some wiggle room here but not a lot (chapters 84 and 89 give us the best views of the board)

SO yukii was unconscious until somewhere around late 2006/early 2007, and that was 2 years ago. so its AT LEAST 2008 in canon. i KNOW this isnt 100% solid proof cause itd mean if he woke up at the earliest on december 24th 2006, labyrinth takes place at the earliest on december 24th 2008? but we know what happens on that date thanks to the Eba death info, and its the protoporos arc! not labyrinth! so lets accept wiggle room into all of these indications ("eba died almost ten years ago", "i woke up roughly 2 years ago", "i was in a coma for about 10 years") i think its still a strong case for protoporos happening in 2008.

one last thing that might be my strongest point, but its out-of story info so i dont like defaulting to "the real world" as the definite truth-holder for fiction. but in this case, in usogui world there is a leap second added to january 1st of whatever year protoporos ends on. in the real world, there was a leap second added to 31st december 2008 (US time, january first 2009 for japan) in usogui its also said "its been 3 years since they last did it" which aligns with 2005 (2006 for japan) in the real world. (aside- protoporos cant end on january 1st 2006 since that ticket is dated to april 2006, no need to check if itd lign up with 2006 as the starting point) all the info about the leap second in chapter 525 aligns with my quick read through of the real world wikipedia page. again its not because it aligns with the real world that it HAS to be the truth (my own webcomic is not in sync with the real world moon phases, it doesnt make it NOT happen in 2023 all of a sudden though) which is why im NOT contesting the 2006 horse track ticket. it says 2006 therefor the story starts in 2006 end of discussion.

but it DOES brings up a super interesting question cause when i talked about this with people we all kind of assumed the story didnt take place in over a year & agreed on the 2008 confirmation with the eba line, but this would make the story span 2 years. when i read usogui again ill pay attention to time more (again) n try to get a coherent-ish timeline out of this seemingly 2 years gap? if anyone else has ideas about where all this time might be coming from you are also so so free to add your own speculation onto this. usoguis too big for me alone to remember everything about it no matter how many times i reread it lol.

though the simple answer is usogui started being published IRL in 2006 so the early chapters use 2006 as the placeholder year (including on the labyrinth whiteboard?) and then sako toshio changed his mind/forgot by the time he got to protoporos and made that 2008 to lign up with the real world leap second. i value what art has to bring to us over what the real world can bring to it so ill reject that notion but other people are free not to care as much as i do

#usogui #ask #anon #usogui timeline #this took forever to answer cause i had to go back in my files + private discord server to find my pages again orz #also i oddly appreciate messaging me on tumblr & not directly on twitter im more comfortable on tumblr LOL. hi anon from twitter :) 🐝#usogui meta

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theclearblue · 6 months ago

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Can you rank the Strawhats by most liked to least? Or at least ramble about their characters?

See ya, love u

Hiiii Empa I can always gush about one piece thank you <3 (also im assuming this is my own personal ranking ur asking for and not who i think is most popular in the fandom lol) My ranking changes a lot to be fair and literally love all of them soooo much but currently:

10. Jinbe

He might be at the bottom of my list but I literally cried tears of joy when he joined the strawhats so that's the level we're operating on when I say how much I love all of them. Really the only reason he's on the bottom is because he's had the least amount of time on the crew, but literally one of the coolest characters ever and Oda teasing for YEARS of him joining the crew and him finally getting to!!!! Amazing!!!! Can't wait to see more of him as the series goes on I've already loved his role in Wano and Egghead it's been a treat.

9. Franky

Guy of all time. I WISH Oda gave him more screentime because he's literally so cool!!!!! One of the funniest characters and that is not appreciated enough, has such a good introduction/backstory in Water 7, his relationship with Robin is literally everything to me, and when he does get screentime!!! I am seated!!! People need to love Franky more >:(

8. Chopper

MY SOOOONNNNN I would die for him. His story line about being a monster and coming to embrace it because the strawhats literally love and embrace him as he is, I will cry about it if I think about it for more than two minutes. I felt that he didn't get as many opportunities to shine in post timeskip and then the Wano arc happened!!!! Such a good arc for him and how essential he was to the overall success and how proud everyone was of him!!!!! And how he has full control over his big monster form and utilizes it to help people! Literally love him so much GOD.

7. Usopp

Can u believe there was a time in my life where I didn't like Usopp? Insanity. To be fair his introduction arc is unfortunately the weakest in the series for me, I found him annoying in the beginning. But Usopp is so cool because he is a regular guy, and yet he still overcomes SO much. A lot of speculation that the next arc of One Piece will be HIS arc and I really hope that's the case because every time he gets a chance to shine is some of the times when One Piece is at it's absolute best.

6. Nami

Literally girl of all time I'm so obsessed with her. I know people hate how women are drawn in One Piece but it's honestly made up for me by the fact that almost all the women have such incredible and nuanced writing, and I think how good of a writer Oda is really shines in how he writes Nami. Consistently one of the most interesting and fun characters in the whole series, and the first character to really get the spotlight and people still talk about it as a highlight of the series 20+ years later. No one is doing it like her!!

5. Brook

When Brook was introduced I was not thrilled to get ANOTHER crew member, especially cause it was a dumb talking skeleton, and that seemed just like a gag character. And then 40 episodes later I was literally sobbing over his backstory and character and he's such a good addition to the crew. He also hangs out a little bit more in the background but he's still doing SO MUCH in the background that you can't help paying attention to him. So dorky but also just hits people with profound wisdom every once in awhile?! Brook rocks so hard.

4. Luffy

I never really know where to put Luffy in my ranking, because really he's number one as well (as are really the next three as well, they change in ranking too much for a definitive number one). The perfect protagonist and how he helps people and his own personal development has literally changed me. I never get tired of him, I never find him boring, and he's such a major reason as to why people have stuck around to see this story unfold for 25 years now. He's the character I really don't now how to put into words how much I love him, he's just bigger than life in so many ways.

3. Zoro

He captured my heart at the very beginning and never let go, which is funny cause I thought I would hate him LMAO. Literally the coolest character while also being the absolute silliest, he never fails to make me laugh from his dumbassery. And hes such a simple character with simple motivations, but there's so much to pick apart at the same time somehow. i feel like his words hold so much weight when he's being serious, and even though he's a simple character it doesn't always make him easy to understand unless you REALLY dive into his character. Literally never mad to see him get screentime, I love him so much he was my first favorite character in the series <3

2. Robin

ROOOBBBBIIIINNNN I LOVE HEEEERRRRR. Again was kinda skeptical about why she was joining the crew and not Vivi, but Oda has never let me down when adding a new member to the strawhats, and her story is so great to watch, especially going back with more context and everything she says makes so much sense. I mean her fully becoming a member of the crew is still a series highlight, and I also really like the moments where she relies on the crew and they rely on her and the TRUST!!!! THE LOVE!!!!! Also her sense of humor is so underrated she cracks me up so much I love that she shares a brain cell with Luffy and is so morbid lmao

Sanji

I hate him. His eyebrows are stupid. He acts like an idiot all of the time. There are several instances where he needs to be put in horny jail. Obnoxious, stupid, bratty, and people look at me with disgust when I say Sanji is my favorite character and that I'm insane about him. Oh it's so bad. The way he shows love, how he's a bratty kid with a temper yet also the kindest strawhat, the way he's like a leashed rabid dog but he attached the leash to himself, the way he has so many moments of self sacrifice throughout the series and it's acknowledged as a problem 20 years after he's introduced as a character. He's mentally strong for the ones he loves yet doesn't see any worth in himself. The way his arc centers on blood vs found family. Him being scared of becoming as monstrous as his family. AHHHHHHHHH I HATE HIM I HATE HIM HE MAKES ME INSANE. Anyways that's my favorite character.

#mostly just me gushing about characters except for the last one on the list if anyone wants to read it :')#guys i love one piece so much it literally makes me cry how much i love these characters #one piece

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tectco · 9 months ago

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Hello, just wanna start this off by saying that I love your art. I've decided to ask my favourite artists for art tips as I wanna get into it, but no matter what I do it never looks right. So, any tips?

WARNING YOU JUST OPENED THE FLOOD GATES GET READY FOR A LONG ASS POST

WOOOOO BOY, first off huge fucking compliment i honestly didn't think i was anyone's favorite artist (despite what my friends say) and i find it super cool of you to try and draw

Anddd nowww the cowards will run out as soon as you read more

okay so first things first, disclaimer! I AM NO PROFESSIONAL BY ANY STANDARDS, IM JUST SUPER INTERESTED IN ART, DO NOT TAKE MY WORDS AS GOSPEL AND YOU DO NOT NEED TO TAKE MY WORDS OF ADVICE (you didnt say i was but just to cover my ass)

I am still learning as an artist so this will just be advice that helped me, lets just hope i can remember what got me here, and this will be just me jotting down my thoughts as they come so maybe im not the best person to come to about this (i may repeat what other people say in terms of art so bare with me)

SO WITHOUT ANYMORE DISCLAIMER! YOU WANT ART TIPS FROM ME? WELL GET READY FOR SOME BULLSHIT FROM A PERSON WHO'S BEEN SO ARTSY FARTSY IN THEIR ENTIRE LIFE AND HAS NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT, WELL COME INTO THE SHIT TRAIN!!

Now i dont know if you are an intermediate artist, beginner, need help in specific areas or whatever the hell else but! here's the three main points i always wanted to scream at artists who are just starting out!

Your art WILL look like shit in the beginning

References and inspiration are YOUR FRIEND

DONT be afraid to trace

(I know I know this feels like regurgitated and it probably is BUT HEY STICK WITH ME)

does your art looks fucking trash? THATS GOOD!! KEEP DRAWING!! My art looked fucking ugly when i started and some might say (me) it still does, but thats okay!! You learn more and more from just drawing without any tips, art is a pure skill that builds up, do not be discouraged!! The point of art isn't to be the greatest in the world, it's to be at peace with what you create so if your art looks good to you and you are in a happy place in your progress, you are basically successful in my eyes at least (this doesn't mean to quit learning obviously but it'll come in time, be patient, do not push yourself! that's how you stop loving art and we don't want that happening!)

Ever find yourself asking "man why the fuck does (include art shit here) not look accurate??" well here's a tip, USE REFERENCES! DO NOT BE LIKE ME WHERE YOU JUST WING IT OR ELSE YOU'LL BE CRYING OVER YOUR DRAWING TABLET LIKE I DID AT SOME POINT!! Pay attention to the shapes of the reference, break it down and draw over it if you need to, shapes are very important in art and you need to be able to draw whatever you want in the most basic forms (im no good example of this, i really need to practice more aughhh). As well as references, inspiration is KEY!!! Everything is inspired off each other, nothing is original, so steal from your favorite artists!! Look at their speedpaints, look at how they use colors, analyze how they draw anatomy in their style, see how they use shapes, etc etc, learn from who you consider are the "greats of their times"!! USE ALL THE INSPIRATION YOU HAVE AT YOUR FINGERTIPS!!LITERALLY COPY THEM IF YOU WANT EVEN IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DID THAT, YOU'LL LEARN WITH TIME!! just whatever you do, don't compare yourself so heavily against other artists, i know its hard, i do it myself even! If there is an artist who has a style you so so want, don't crumble if you can't draw in their style perfectly, you'll never win against someone in their art style. I suggest taking inspiration from multiple artists and mashing them together until it looks good in your eyes!!

That actually leads me to my next point! TRACING IS OKAY!! Now obviously I do not mean directly tracing over like some lines, showing it off/posting it and calling it completely original. I mean tracing over the references i mentioned before, or like what i said before, i believe you should actually trace from your favs! (don't call it original like i said before), tracing can help build memory on how to draw certain things like how i took a photo of my hands before, traced them, and then put it to the side to redraw it, making me understand futher how hands work! OR like how i traced a piece of art that i liked to understand how the artist drew their bodies, tracing is used by total professionals in the industry so do not be afraid!! You have total permission from me to trace my art and learn how to draw my wack ass bodies

and for a little extra bit, little bit of a hot take (I'm actually not sure how much of a hot take this is), i don't think you HAVE to learn the fundamentals to get into art. NOW BEFORE YOU RUN OFF SCREAMING AND SHITTING, IM NOT SAYING YOU DON'T NEED THE FUNDAMENTALS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!! I'm just saying that if you want to get into art as a complete hobbyist and just want to draw to yknow draw and be happy, you should just go for it! Again don't make art something you hate! I completely encourage learning the fundamentals but don't ever feel like you're failing just because you don't, get into it when you have the time! be patient with yourself, this goes for any hobby/skill but just sink some time into it, i promise you will get further in you hobby than if you push and rush yourself into complete burn out

OH AND HERES MY ULTIMATE TIP! THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO DO ART!!

Uhhh i think that's everything? Im not exactly sure how comprehensible this is or how the spelling is since i am not beta reading this! But apologies if this wasn't what you were looking for! (if anybody even read this far) and i hope that if you asked your other favorite artists they answered with anything better than whatever this is! I wish you alot of luck in your art journey and thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about art! OH AND REMEMBER TO TAKE BREAKS

#long text post #Tecs going wild #you’re not cowards for not wanting to read the whole thing don’t worry lmao #this was meant to be like #some small reply with my small tips on art but i didn't think itd be paragraphs long #uhhhh whoops my badddd #i literally typed this and ideas flowed in my head so if its all over the place thats another whoopsie #like nobody will care about this #I’m so tired I spent like two hours on this straight since I got so excited #Anddd I’m now gonna post this since it’s like so late and I’m too tired to be worrying if this doesn’t answer the question or if I rambled #tecoask

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spacedlexi · 1 year ago

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hey same anon from yesterday!

first off, good luck with your assignments, Killin myself out here too.

And thanks for the advice! I’m trying to make it canonical while in a modern au, so since this was a mainly S1 part of the series, Clem’s parents + Lee’s wife nonsense still happens, just navigated differently. Different dates obviously happen, some characters are less prominent and others are more (i.e St. John’s useless, or Larry + Lee’s family roles/created)

For the personalities, some characters are just easier to write I think. I’ll never understand the Violet southerner thing, a telltale sight for me is if someone messes that up. (Also basically every story has Minerva as a total asshole so that’s funny)

I tried to implement game lines too, while putting it in modern context! And the end of the day you’re right, it is MY choice, just want to have it look nice. Again, thanks and good luck!

using lines ripped from the game can definitely be helpful, especially if it feels natural in the scene, i would just be careful in not leaning on it too much. adding a twist to it definitely helps. but really try to pay attention to the cadence with which characters speak. theres a rhythm to Everything. do they stutter when theyre nervous? do they use a lot of filler words? do they hesitate at all or do they speak confidently? do they enunciate? stuff like that. if you can figure that out it makes it easier to write dialogue that really feels like its coming from that character. think about the different ways multiple characters may express the same idea. how does it get filtered through their heads and mouths. its less about What the character is saying and more How theyre saying it. believability and all that. to me it feels like pulling off a magic trick

it really is just a delicate balance of behavior and vocabulary. its why i try to cut a lot of slack to writers when it comes to fic. i know its a hard line to walk, and i'll give points for getting Enough right. especially for characters we dont see much of. thats why even tho it annoys me a bit i understand why so many people write minnie as being a possessive asshole and not much else. its why i end up going down the rabbit hole trying to figure out who she was before the delta. like we Know she was a different person, we just dont know much about that person, and the experience/thought process that she had that turned her from the "didnt even like killing walkers" never mind the darkness minnie into the minnie that killed her sister. i find her to be a really interesting character because its obvious she still cares about the ericson group in some fucked up way (sans clem she just sees her as an obstacle to getting them back) and i Do wish that depth was examined more in fics. but maybe im just not reading the right ones

ANYWAY i hope this has all been helpful and good luck with your writing 💕

#when it comes to southern vi i just kinda 🙄 my eyes now and look past it #ive seen it so much at this point im becoming numb to it lol (still dont understand why it happens tho)#i had to stop reading clemvi fic for a while because the way people were writing them #i felt like i was teleported back to 2014 reading johndave fic 💀 i wish i was kidding it was giving me psychic damage. like where am i #incognito #replies with lexi #twdg

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asm5129 · 2 years ago

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RWBY v9 e4 Thoughts and Analysis

Genuinely might be my favorite opening of the entire show.

Also, genuinely, screw everyone who ever said Ruby didn’t have a character arc.

RWBY is really, really good at keeping stories going in the background even as the main focus shifts around. So just...stop with that shit, okay? CRWBY are very particular with what they choose to do and when. Not everything's perfect, but if you get hung up on things you didn’t like from the past, you’ll never be able to fully appreciate what’s happening now. It’s always gonna bother you in the back of your mind. Ruby wasn’t always the most important person in the show. Let it go so you can talk about what led us here, to this exceptional story. We good? Good.

“You do not go to the tree, the tree goes to you! Unless of course you’re me, you see?”

Yeah, so the Curious Cat (referred to as CC from here on out) is definitely in some position of authority in the Ever After, but they do not control it or anything like that. I suppose we shall find out their role soon enough.

Regardless, it seems that the Tree decides when you’re ready to leave, not you. CC can bypass that it seems, but i doubt that will work for our heroes.

If the residents of the Ever After exist to facilitate a story, then the Tree will let them out when the story is done.

Maybe the Ever After only rained when Ruby was sad (rather than, for instance, Weiss) because it’s deemed her the protagonist of the story that must reach it’s conclusion before RWBY and co are allowed to leave? Just a thought.

“it’s a matter of perspective” that’s an intriguing line

Also, Little does not have a history with CC like I thought they and the other mice might. However, that’s not to say CC liking to eat mice has no impact on whether the mice know what a cat is, especially since last week Little wasn’t even completely convinced they were a mouse.

It’s been said before, but CC really is a standout character. The design, the performance, the power set, even the dialogue make literally everything about them engaging. As does, of course, the characterization, cuz this Cat is just as impossible as any cat irl. Now i actually like cats, but I’ll be the last one to say they don’t tend towards being completely absurd and impossible in their behavior

CC just takes that to the next level. Honestly though CC is basically just ADHD: the animal

Craving a steady stream of interesting conversations to keep them focused

too real 😅

“Got ‘im! Totally roasted”

From the tone of Yang’s voice, i genuinely think she was just throwing poor Weiss a bone here 😄

Missed a chance to have CC making a cat video tbh, but “Luminous Rectangle” and “why is it printing tiny flat versions of me” is still amazing

CC just briefly giving voice to some of the common complaints about RWBY is kinda nice

its CRWBY saying “We’re listening. We hear you. We are working to address your concerns, but only to the point that it won’t compromise our story.”

Also roasting the gods is fun. Does seem like it’s clear that the Gods have nothing to do with the Ever After then, though, if CC both didn’t know and is super comfortable calling them out this way

More information about Alyx, from a new source. Love how everyone who speaks about her has a different take, it makes her really interesting.

Also rare smiling v9 Ruby Rose sighting

I love that CC is still a cat, with all the usual catlike behaviors. Would've been easy to anthropomorphize them more, I’m happy that didn’t happen.

“Each acre is made specifically for it’s inhabitants and their roles”

Intriguing. So...does CC not have an acre to call home? If not, why not? What makes them unique among this world’s rules?

a grogurt parfait, huh? Sounds gross.

“Well I’m sure we’ll cause a lot less trouble once we’re back to normal” oh Weiss, honey, I wouldn’t count on that 😂

Ugh CC Blake’s right, they've got enough problems without you reminding them of what’s happening in remnant

“Oh no, i wasn’t paying attention” Ruby you are one of 5 people and your entire bag of trauma just got poked, it’s not your fault. You gotta work on that self-blaming instinct, he says knowing full well how hard that is from personal experience (seriously, i see so much of myself in Ruby)

The Lonely carpenter and the rusted Knight

one sweet, one handsome

Guessing we’ll meet them soon enough

Also that confirms the Knight in the trailer and intro isn’t Jaune. the Knight was in the original book.

So yeah was wrong about the Chekov's butterfly

Couple interesting lines here

First

”I’m the herbalist. Until I’m not, anyway”

Our first hint that roles are not set in stone.

and second

“Everyone needs help these days. Everyone.” Who else is Herb referring to?

“Huntresses are heroes. We protect those who can’t protect themselves” Blake is really following in Ruby’s stead, this is literally the line Ruby gives her all the way back in volume 1 when they talk about their love of books. Of course, she’s doing it after going through all the healing Ruby hasn’t done yet. It is cool to see this dichotomy of Blake stepping up and embodying what she valued in Ruby while Ruby becomes more like she was in volume 1 and 2

Also, I like that Ruby’s answer to “What does a huntress do” is “fight monsters”. it shows that she’s still thinking about things wrong

“In order to help you become whatever it is you need to become, you really ought to have a better understanding of what you are now”. Great line. Cuts straight to the heart of the issue.

.”This is how a king winds up a prince”

So...the Red Prince used to be the Red King? And he became the Red Prince, perhaps because he didn’t understand who he was, and thus who he wanted to be wasn’t quite right? We’ll see. But clearly there’s a much more complicated transformation process that can happen here than we expected. Perhaps a far more literal one, as well.

“You don’t have to go forward you know. You could go back. Back to before.”

Before she lost her arm. It’s not about her arm though--it’s about everything. It’s about going back to what things were like before beacon fell. Going back to who she was like before beacon fell.

Yang is shocked--but she doesn't immediately reject the idea. Unlike Blake...

“You could just be human. Or just a cat. It’s up to you.”

“Why would i do that?”

“I told you. It’s simple. Much simpler than trying to be a bridge between human and faunus. Why struggle with that responsibility?”

So it’s clear now. The reason Blake wasn’t front and center on injustice during the Atlas arc.

This is what she was struggling with. Well this, and taking the life of an actual living, breathing person

Doesn’t matter that it was Adam, he was still a person.

So for a couple volumes she just...stopped trying to be that bridge. Focused on proving to her loved ones that she had grown, and that she wouldn’t run away again. Showing them--and especially Yang--that she loved them.

“You could be a nobody. Isn’t that what you want? to be free?”

God i’m so proud of these girls. This is such a beautiful scene. It’s so well directed, so well written, and there’s so much we can all learn from it, purely on an emotional growth level..

And then we come to Ruby. And unlike her friends, she doesn’t have it in her to reject the part of herself that appears here. Instead, she gets this brutal face-to-face with all of her worst insecurities, worst impulses, all her imposter syndromes and her habit of putting everything on her own shoulders. honestly this section deserves a deep dive all its own.

“You don’t even have to be Ruby Rose. So. Who are you gonna be?”

Ruby is gonna go through a major transformation this volume. I can only hope it’s the one she needs.

I’m really curious why exactly CC was so angry about what Herb was doing. What exactly did he do wrong? Hopefully we will find out tomorrow.

the “That’s a bit much” lien from herb intrigues me though. Was he affected by the pain the girls--and Ruby in particular--were being forced to confront?

“Take a little bit of my heart”

Really curious about CC’s powers

and little being adorable again. Can’t wait for tomorrow!!

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thatdesklamp · 1 year ago

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Hey! I hope you are doing well this week!!

I’ve become absolutely obsessed with Gojo’s POVs , I think the way you write him is so fascinating. I really like seeing how we get Hebi’s POV and then see Gojo’s reactions to what we read.

This will be so long, im so so sorry. Thank you for taking the time to read.

I just wanted to come in here and muse/ask questions about Gojo and his good ol’ thoughts.

My first question/musing is: When do you think Gojo actually started to realize that he had feelings for Hebi. I felt like he had feelings for Hebi before chapter 15 (2010), but it seemed as if he reacted to the idea of Hebi wanting to fall in love with two different reactions. The first one to me is that he’s offended that Hebi wouldnt ever tell him about any crushes she has had (why would she, shes had a crush on the same man since she was 14). To me, Gojo just felt super offended that Hebi keeps relationship stuff like that under-wraps. The second reaction is that he could finally(?) let himself have hope that him and Hebi could work out, that he isnt just yearning for something that isnt possible. Its like a confusing mix between the two, which I thought was super interesting.

Maybe I’m reading into Gojo’s actions wrong but I’m completely sure the shoulder injury moment where he’s just hovering over and healing her was NOT COMPLETELY INNOCENT. I also think the part during the beach vacation where Gojo is smiling at Hebi when she has her gloves removed also romantically coded. I’m just so intrigued in what Gojo is thinking because Im so sure Hebi is completely in her own head 24/7 and doesnt even register some moments.

He’s so interesting to see through Hebi’s eyes, you did such a great job with him as a character.

Feel free not to answer this one since its slightly more NSFW and about chapter 17 (im just super curious). I will not be too explicit in my wording so sorry if its worded weirdly?

I’m curious if Gojo has ever thought about Hebi while he’s doing the act like Hebi did in chapter 17 (2012). Hebi seems to be doing it casually and she doesnt even care about the thing that shes doing, but I wonder if Gojo has done it. In chapter 16, it seems like he was super focused in on Hebi despite him having a girl who has been paying attention to him (assumingely kissing him, etc). Does Gojo try and not think about Hebi that way, does he even realize that she may feel the same towards him and he’s resisting because of what he did to her when they were 15? I’m more on the inbetween of the two ideas I presented. I think Gojo really, really cares for her romantically but absolutely refuses that she feels the same because of everything that he did to her, how he broke her trust. It feels as if he’s punishing himself for his past actions. Maybe Hebi is a little obvious with her unforgiving nature she has with that incident.

I’m just so curious these two characters seem so intune and out of tune with each other and they keep missing each other on important feelings and thoughts

What happens in chapter 17 seems like Hebi is disassociating too, that shes not even there. I just feel so bad for everyone in that chapter, its so horrifying. I do hope that Hebi and her boyfriend get outta that relationship next chapter because Im sure both of them can tell it isnt working out.

thank you again for reading, you crafted such an amazing story.

Ok so here’s the thing—in my head I definitely know when I think Gojo started having feelings for Hebi, as it’s when I started writing him as having feelings for her. But idk, I’ve always been more reluctant to spell it out so explicitly, as the author, because I love the ambiguity that comes from only having one POV and I also love hearing other people’s theories and ideas. Seeing the different ways things have been interpreted is honestly one of the best things about writing for ao3 and I’ve always been so hesitant to squash that by putting in my own opinion?

And so I guess this is all one big disclaimer: just because I say stuff on the side like this, it doesn’t really make it ‘canon’ or any more worthwhile than your own interpretations? I’m such a huge advocate for ‘death of the author’ (more detail in the link below if you’re interested), that basically says the reader’s interpretation trumps the author’s intention all the time, no matter what.

Sure, I might have started writing him as being in love with her since 2006 (I didn’t, btw). However, if I didn’t convey that well enough, or if you can find enough evidence or ‘vibes’ that would disprove that, and indicate something else, then you fucking go for it. That’s your canon.

I hope that makes sense. Tl;dr, listen to me if you’d like and if you’re interested in my intentions, but don’t listen to me/don’t pay attention if you think it’ll sour your own interpretation, or if you think I’m the ultimate god on any of this. (I’m not, no matter what Ian McEwan in ‘Atonement’ tries to say—“how can a novelist reach atonement when, with her absolute power of deciding outcomes, she is also God?” blah blah blah whatever, if you haven’t heard already this is an Ian McEwan hate page)

ANYWAY. On to the actual fanfic discussion LOL. The English lit girlie in me takes over sometimes, sorry.

My actual intentions, revealed!! I’ve discussed it in comments, more ambiguously than now, but one of the big debates around Gojo’s feelings seems to be his revelation in 2010. It’s for sure some huge realisation (I think that’s pretty evident), but some people were saying how he’s clearly only just realised his feelings, and some were saying that he’s only realised the depth of them.

For me, it was the latter. I thought of it as the way I thought of Hebi’s own realisations; she actually has two, one in 2001, when she figures out that she likes him in this far-off, confusing way (“Something has changed, in the way you see him, and you realise you can no longer try to pretend it hasn’t.” -> nothing explicit verbalised, but it’s clear that she’s no longer thinking about him platonically), and then the traditional oh/on moment in 2004, where she realises she loves him. As in, love-love, Loves him.

I always figured Gojo went through something similar, which I thought was pretty cute of him, lol. For me, 2010 was his ‘oh/oh’ moment; he’s known, sure, but he’s been denying it, or he’s been explaining it some other way, or he’s just not been thinking about it. But then he realises: he’s in big, fat, capital-L Love. And so he freaks.

This explains all of your other questions, I think! The shoulder incident when they’re at his house together? Not innocent whatsoever. As people pointed out, there was no reason for him to practically be on top of her, and not for him to be getting all flustered/blushy (self-indulgent, yes, but necessary) about it, either. And the beach episode! In my head, he defo had some degree of feelings for her at that point, too: there are a few (very vague and subtle) moments, really clearly tarred by Hebi’s pov, that I did write as the tiniest hints about his feelings. Very much, if you’re looking for them, maybe maybe they’ll appear, lmao.

Such as, when Hebi’s getting changed into a swimsuit and Gojo’s back is turned, she walks past him and doesn’t look back to check his reaction to her. It takes him a “moment” (in which she is “panicked”, yes) to actually follow her, leading her to think “he’s not following [her], like [she’s] walking off to the sea on [her] own”. It’s the subtlest, tiniest thing ever… but why does he wait? Why doesn’t he just follow her straight away? If I were to write his POV of the chapter, it would definitely be highlighting that split-second delay of the first time he sees her in anything skimpier than pyjamas (a two-piece, at that!), and of him absolutely not being able to function enough to follow her. Of course, it also would include him slapping a smile on and following, even if he does have to keep his “his eyes on the sea”, just to make sure he’s not getting too distracted.

Another few moments, in the same chapter: the “affectionate, but also slightly sad” look he gives her when she smiles at her bare hands (pining central here, folks), which I think is the moment you’re referring to. Or the moment when she puts on his glasses, gives him her best Gojo-impression wink, and his “mouth closes, and his eyebrows lower, slightly. He swallows.” I’ve written it enough (especially over here) that I think it’s pretty evident that he really, really likes seeing her in his clothes. It’s a thing.

Listen, I thought I was being pretty over-the-top with my earlier Gojo-pining moments, but I listened to the comments and realised I really, really wasn’t. I tried to make it a bit more obvious as we went along, but, hey! Reader interpretation trumps all!

I don’t know how many IW readers have read my other longish fic, ‘Soli Deo Gloria’? Haikyuu, childhood friends to lovers, soulmate au with worldbuilding and religious themes, all the fun stuff. I wrote it over a year ago, which shows, at some points, in the fic (lol), but for something I wrote a while ago I can’t say I’m not pretty proud of it. Anyway, it’s written from the perspective of someone in love with his best friend, who also goes on lots of dates and never stays single, ever, and I think that mentality could definitely be applied to Gojo in this fic. I can go more in detail if people would be interested, but I think that could assuage some people’s doubts, if they think that just because he sees other women, it means he can’t also be pining away hardcore.

And then also what you mean about your ‘NSFW-related’ question (also, I’m an adult! I appreciate the care, but I’m chill and good with ff-related NSFW content and questions). I think if, pre-2011, Gojo had any thought that Hebi liked him back, he would be confessing and asking her about it asap. He’s not the type of person to let things go stagnant without acting on it; she’s much more of a passive character than he is, I’ve always thought. And yeah, I think that post-first feelings realisation, and definitely post-second, he would have thought about her the exact same way she thinks about him. Hebi’s relationship with sex is pretty awful up to this point (as you’ve said, with her apathy and disconnection towards her life, esp. towards the end of the latest chapter), and it’s something I’m going to give due attention to when it’s needed, and Gojo’s doesn’t have her same issues with physical intimacy, so it’d be certainly different; but I can see him seeking out sex as a substitute for the intimacy he’d be wanting and lacking with her.

This is a big fuckoff paragraph and I’m sorry if you were expecting something more concise! Unfortunately I am a narcissist at heart and so will always rant on about my own fics whenever I’m given the opportunity to, lol. Thank you for the ask, and I’m glad you’ve been enjoying IW!!

#intrinsic warmth #yes I’m a woman in STEM but I did eng lit a level and I’m not letting you guys forget it

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