#why do you care if I ship an unproblematic ship involving two characters I think mesh well together?

[castielinpastel]

i would just like to point out that the argument “why can’t people just be friends anymore??” usually only comes up on posts about queer ships. not always, but 99% of the time.

[hellmry]

What do you think of this whole "ppl shipping SessRin are basically supporting paedophilia” on tumblr? I've seen lots of japapense fans on twitter and they're all basically happy for the huge possibility of having Rin as Sesshomaru's wife and the mother of Towa and Setsuna, and then I go to tumblr and see all these SessRin bashing, saying that their bond should have kept platonic, the "real" sesshomaru will not behave romantically with Rin, etc. Idk what to think? :/ What are your thoughts?

oh goody, this is going to be a long one.

it’s so ridiculous 🙄 I’ve seen this “paedophilia” argument so many times and it’s triggering how they misuse this term so much. Especially as a law student (pet peeve: people misusing technical terms and making very serious (false) accusations).

Paedophilia tends to be the umbrella term for everything with a big age gap or when one party of the couple knew the other party as a child, which shows how uneducated they are with their try hard activism. Paedophilia is a psychiatric disorder, when an adult is primary or exclusively sexually attracted to prepubescent children.

No one in their right mind ships Sesshomaru with Rin while she was still a kid, I’ve yet to see someone who actively ships them in a romantic setting with her still being a kid. All the shippers I’ve come across and fanworks made, are her being a young adult or adult.

The other term they’re throwing around is “grooming”, while thinking it means he groomed her into his wife, which is also false and a misuse of the term. Grooming happens, when an adult is befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child in order to lower the child’s inhibitions with the object of sexual abuse. Sessh didn’t approach her with any sexual intentions in mind, he tolerated her following him out of pity, which turned into being her protector after a while. As I see it, Jaken was more of a father figure for her than Sessh was. He ignored her most of the times, just watching over her and made sure she was safe (i mean, like a dog...a guard dog). And he certainly didn’t “groom��� her into being his wife, that dude did not show any signs of romantic interest while she was a child. Heck, he was pretty stoic most of the times.

The fact, that people who saw Sessh as a father figure for Rin exist, is actually our strongest argument against their paedophilia accusation. They wouldn’t have been able to perceive their relationship as such in the first place, if there were ANY romantic advances or signs while she was a child. Wanna see and read about a real pedophile story/relationship? Go read Lolita by Vladimir Nobakov, it’s disturbing.

Another form of grooming happens, when someone is manipulated until they’re isolated, dependent and more vulnerable to exploitation (can also happen with adults). Though it was only a filler episode, in episode 162 (Forever with Lord Sesshomaru), Sessh even gave her the free choice to either stay with humans or follow him (with his trademark line “do as you please”). In the Manga she was staying with Kaede in the end. And she was friends with Kohaku. She mostly fended for herself (with Jaken), foraging for food in the wild or secretly on farms. Rin was certainly not isolated or dependent. I’m not even digging into the exploitation point, because there is nothing to say.

I admit, they way SessRin developed is not completely unproblematic and the biggest factor is, that he met her while she was still a child. I can agree with that, but most SessRin shippers do not ship them because he knew her as a child, but because she was the first one who he cared for. If you break it down, it’s pretty much the cold-emotionless-bad boy-falls-for-a-girl-after-being-shown-kindness-for-the-first-time trope. SessRin shippers would’ve also shipped them if Rin was the same age as Kagome the first time they’ve met. Rin being a child when they met is not the base of this ship, it’s their relationship and how she broke through Sessh’s walls and that she was the first (human) being he ever cared for. She was also the reason Sessh slowly began to accept Tenseiga as his sword.

People who are saying Sessh went out of character and should’ve stayed on platonic terms with Rin, clearly have no idea about storytelling and character development. Sessh is a dog demon. Inuyasha is a dog demon. Inu no Taisho was a dog demon. Rin is a human, Kikyo was a human, Kagome is a human, Izayoi was a human. Basically, dogs love humans and create very strong bonds with them. Even staying loyal when their owner mistreats or abuses them. The whole series builds up on this dog-human dynamic. Basically every romantic interest involving a dog demon ended up being a dog-human pair. What’s not clicking?

I also find it quite funny, how some of those people can also ship Kagome and Inuyasha while preaching their (false) paedophilia speech in the same sentence. Kagome was 15 when she met 200 year old Inuyasha. 15. That’s a teenager. I’m 26 and when I see 15 year olds, they look like toddlers to me. I don’t see anyone advocating for Kagome’s minor rights. The whole world flipped when Drake was dating a 18 year old but the fandom is still pretty silent about the fact, that Kagome was also 18 when she was married to 203 y/o Inuyasha in the epilogue. InuKag and SessKag shippers don’t get the same criticism as SessRin shippers, even though Kagome is also still a minor and that’s where you see the hypocrisy.

They can ship her because her design looks older and it’s easier to forget that she’s 15/18. Usagi from Sailor Moon was 14 when she met and began a romantic relationship with Mamoru, who was 17. Even though both are considered minors, 14 is a lot different than 17 but nobody bat an eye for that either. Probably it’s because Usagi doesn’t look like a 14 year old. Kagome doesn’t look like a 15 year old. But Rin looks her age, she looks like an 8 year old when they first met, evoking a different perception in people of being a minor, the age gap and her vulnerability. That’s the only reason I can think of, why people are fine with InuKag, SessKag, KogaKag and whatever, even though it’s essentially almost the same setting as with SessRin. Rin is a minor, Kagome is a minor, they both are protected by their stronger and much older demon travel partners. And its hypocritical to try and argue a difference because grooming and abuse of an 8 year old is such as horrific as of an 15 year old. If one of them is a victim, then both are.

I’m not trying to shit on InuKag or other Kagome ships btw., I love Kagome and InuKag, I’m just trying to show the hypocrisy in their fake activism, because it’s not based on facts and information but rather on subjective feelings and perception. It’s fine and legitimate to not like SessRin because of said reasons, but it is wrong to judge others for shipping it and accuse them of supporting paedophilia. People who are triggered by SessRin, should stay away from it but leave those alone, who enjoy it.

Oh and before someone runs their mouth at me and use personal history as an argument, I’ve been a victim of paedophilia and grooming myself. I was touched and molested by my private tutor for years between 5th and 7th grade. But I’ve overcome my trauma, educated myself and I’m able to tell fiction from reality. Nobody watches Inuyasha for relationship and dating advice. Misusing terms is actually harming the ones involved and projecting one own’s traumas and struggles onto others, by shaming them for shipping something is not helping anyone and doesn’t make a difference at all.

Lastly, no SessRin shipper is condoning real life child/adult relationships. We are able to ship them because fictional stories are less dimensional than real life situations are. Fictional relationships have less nuances, cherry picked dynamics and moments that make us perceive them in a specific way. It is man made. What seems romantic in a fictional story (even between two adults) may be littered with red flags or less exciting and boring in a real life setting. People consume fiction mainly for entertainment, not for real life and dating advice.

Remember, this is just a fictional story, just chill the f out.

[teaveetamer]

I love dm/cl shippers and their hypocresy. They see Dimitri as the "cute quirky bf" but they only Care about Claude and use Dimitri as a prop, and replaces him when needed. "Dmlix is abusive bc Felix treats Dimitri badly" (ships Claude/Felix) "dimidue is racist and abusive" (ships Claude/Dedue) "dimivain is bad bc Dimitri deserves better" (ships Claude/Sylvain), and so forth. Like, if those characters are THAT bad, why you ship em w/your fave? I'm p tired of this shit.

(2/2) overall I'm tired that most of em only care about claude using the "Dimitri deserves better" as an excuse. If those characters were so problematic, you wouldn't be shipping them with your fave, bc that'll give them a "bad image".

Oh boy there’s like fifteen different things about this anon that I want to talk about and I don’t feel like figuring out how to actually organize my thoughts. So we’re just going to do rambling divided into bullet points.

Can’t say I’m super well acquainted with Dimidclaude shippers and their hot takes at large, since I mostly just avoid the ship if I can help it. That said, it’s not like this is exclusive to Dimiclaude. I think most fandoms have their fans that justify their ship by tearing down ~problematic~ rival ships.

I find the fact that people demand Claude be shipped with the Lions boys kind of amusing. Like... Is it just me, or does it kinda feel like they’re farming the queerest characters to make Claude seem more gay by association? Or is it just because Sylvain, Dedue, and Felix are hot and this is another instance of people just wanting the cute guys to fuck? Either way, get your own damn harem, Claude.

Also I’ve just learned to take “Dimitri deserved better” as the calling card for assholes. 99.9% of the time it’s just used to make Dimitri a prop for whatever unrelated point they’re trying to make, be it a dumb ship argument or the millionth “Edelgard did nothing wrong!” post. I think people have long since figured out that it’s a bad idea to attack Dimitri directly, so they pull this pseudo-sympathy bullshit to try and sneak past people’s bullshit detectors.

It’s not “these characters are problematic” it’s “these relationships are problematic”. They just want one of the characters involved/the aesthetic of the new ship without dealing with the messiness that made that original relationship dynamic problematic to them. Like, I’m not a big fan of Dimilix because their relationship dynamic does really bother me, but I’m also not going to pretend like Felix isn’t going to be a dick in pretty much any of his personal relationships just because I like him with Sylvain more. He’s not a completely different character just because he’s with a different person, he’s just showing a different side of himself.

Dimilix is “abusive” because they think Felix would be nicer to Claude if they ever actually interacted (which is... really unlikely, given how dismissive and aggressive he is with basically all of his support partners). It’s funny that they think that Claude/Felix would somehow inherently be less problematic, because that’s a conclusion they’ve come to entirely in their own heads.

Not really sure how Dimidue is abusive or racist, but that has an extra undertone of “a white person and a PoC in a relationship is inherently racist so just ship the two PoC people together for an unproblematic ship!” and honestly I don’t think there’s enough words in the English language to go over how many different levels of yikes that kind of thinking is. It’s like... Pair the spares, awkward racial undertones edition.

I wish I could argue against “Dimitri deserves better than Sylvain” but honestly every single character deserves better than Sylvain. So they’re technically right, even if their motivations are questionable.

[mewatchingstuff]

ship analysis (spoilers for s2)

I've been spending my social media time on twitter and Facebook these last few days and engaging with the timeless fandom on there. It's amazing how different the fanbase is from app to app. But I noticed both have been trying to distract themselves from renewal stress by starting polls and discussion threads. A couple of the threads shared in idea, was a Garcy or Lyatt thread. All very simple and respectable in responses and all offering their opinions on both ships. But both discussions had a comparison of what a "healthy" relationship for Lucy should be. It's interesting points made on both sides and it did make me look at the wider difference between each man and their relationship to Lucy. I didn't bother to write my own opinion at the time because I was too preoccupied monitoring the tv media sites for news on all my shows, lol. So I think that I'm going to share my views here.

I'll start with Garcy.

Garcia Flynn and Lucy Preston were adversaries for most of season one and while we know how much Flynn valued Lucy -enough to take time nearly every episode to try recruiting her to his side- he still was her enemy and treated her as such. He held her hostage, choked and threw her out of his way, kidnapped her and was even going to let her disappear from time just to stop Rittenhouse. There may have been valid reasons within context for most that stuff but a reason is not an excuse. That's something I try to keep in mind with all my fandoms especially ones with morally ambiguous characters who make not-so-morally-ambiguous decisions. Flynn should be held responsible for his actions against Lucy even if there are explanations for those actions. The explanations do not erase what he has done but, well, explains it. 

So, I believe there is a validity to when someone says they can't or won't ship garcy because of those things. It's more than understandable to not want to forgive a character for doing those things to another character.

I believe Garcy is a good ship with a dark past. You don't forget what happened but you can still see the merit in them going forward. Season two has what the ship needed, and what Flynn wanted, from the start, Garcy working together to take down Rittenhouse. They are no longer physical or ideological adversaries. They are of one mindset and one mission, stop Rittenhouse and save their families. From this, we can finally see in depth the way in which Flynn cares for and respects Lucy. Before, it was all hidden underneath context, pleading eyes and soft voices while they had their one or two minutes alone with each other every episode. Now we can see Flynn actively be there with and for Lucy. He's where he needs to be, on the time teams side and the garcy ship is on a course correct.

Garcy may have had its bumps and bruises but Garcia Flynn has always held a great deal of respect and admiration for Lucy Preston. I'm sure it will only grow from here on out.

Finally, we have Lyatt.

This was the cute, if not obvious, ship that the show positioned to be Lucy's main ship. While I always enjoyed them and they do have a decent enough chemistry, I was never much of a head-over-heels in love with them shipper. I felt like Wyatt was still mentally and emotionally married to his wife and Lucy was just looking to escape the loneliness and isolation she felt as a time traveler by being with the only other single person she knew would understand her strange new job/life. Don't get me wrong, these two have a genuine affection for each other and that's more than clear. But I could never shake off the feeling that they got together because they only had each other in that situation. I mean, look at it this way, if Lucy met and got to know each other without the looming threat of Rittenhouse and time traveling danger that could kill them at any moment, would they still be Lyatt? Would they still have these, apparently, super strong feelings for each other after like 6 months of knowing each other? Or would they go on a few dates and then move on? Okay, I've fallen a bit off path but trust me this is going somewhere.

Lyatt started off as the cute unproblematic ship but season two sunk it in more ways than one. We knew from Wyatt's recollection of his marriage to Jessica in season one that he was not the best husband to her. He would get possessive and jealous and start arguments with her and was basically a jerk. It wasn't that noticeable at first because he was supposed to be the wounded soldier with regrets but you can see how those aspects of his character pop up from time to time. Season two just made them even more obvious. I spent half the season defending Wyatt while slowly falling out of love with his character. Episode 2x07 finally just killed my love altogether. Wyatt Logan has become the emotionally abusive ex boyfriend who makes everything about him and will guilt people into feeling sorry for him when he fucks up their life. 

Wyatt used both Jessica and Lucy this season. He used Lucy and became upset with her whenever she was not pinning over him, allowing him to take advantage of her personal space or when she stood up for herself against his behavior. He puts on a sad puppy dog face and bats his eyelashes while explaining how hard this is for him too. But the truth is Wyatt made every single decision, he called it off with Lucy, he begged Jessica for another chance, he brought her to the bunker, and he tried to keep Lucy close because it's what he wanted. He gave not a thought to what the other women wanted or were going through yet he wants to claim how hard it is for HIM when he's confronted with the truth. He's selfish and egotistical but in a way where you don't fully recognize it until you take a deeper look at him without the emotional baggage of liking the character weighing down on your thoughts and subconsciously blinding you to his faults. 

The truth is Wyatt doesn't deserve Lucy at this point and it doesn't matter if Jessica turns out to be a "villain" or not. She doesn't have powers of mind control. Wyatt made the first moves and Jessica reacted to them. The way his relationship turned sour with Lucy and the way he behaved is ALL on him. Getting rid of Jessica won't change any of that. Wyatt is not emotionally mature or stable enough to sustain a healthy relationship. This is literally his 2nd strike. First time was with original Jessica and now Lucy has been made a victim of his emotional manipulation. Wyatt needs to grow on his own from now on. Lucy can't be his "saviour" anymore because what is she really getting out of this? How can she trust someone who can be this thoughtless and inconsiderate of her feelings? Why does she need to heal someone else when she's in pain herself?

I can't see a happy future Lyatt if Wyatt's actions are brushed away with him saying "sorry" and Jessica being evil. He needs actual development and growth not a get out of jail free card.

So for me Garcy and Lyatt are mirror opposite of each other. Garcy started off as dark and problematic but has grown to be relatively healthy for both characters involved. Lyatt started off as cute and unproblematic but became emotionally unhealthy and detrimental to Lucy's stability and well-being. 

Ultimately, I ship Lucy with happiness and wouldn't mind if she was alone for awhile. I ship the other two with personal growth. But romantically I fall more towards Garcy because of how it's been played and where it can go from here. I don't think much of anything will change my mind about Wyatt unless he goes through extensive therapy or it's revealed that he was replaced by an evil doppelganger at one point. 

[reginaking]

Hi :) who do you ship in btvs. I know you're a multi ship so do you ship both bangel and spuffy? And why do you ship whatever ships you ship? Like to know your opinions on buffy, willow, xander, Giles, angel, spike, faith & anya.

This was a pleasant surprise since I NEVER get to talk about BtVS here, so thank you for asking, anon.

So yeah, I ship both Bangel and Spuffy, though my otp of the show (and whole Buffyverse) is Bangel. Since the pilot, since the big fang revelation, since season 2 basically confirmed that Bangel is the most angst ridden ship ever (I’m a ho for angst, what can I say). I do still really enjoy Spuffy, I would say I lowkey ship it. I understand why they were put together, and as Spike’s and Buffy’s personalities shifted, I came to enjoy them more and more. I mostly enjoy the tension, humor, and honesty between them. I never thought they were “in love,” but two caring people who came together while working through more than they could handle. 

Bangel is my OTP. I love the beginning of their relationship, how it felt so teenage and youthful and hopeful. I love that Buffy got to feel like a teenager with Angel, she could be vulnerable, unsure, safe, innocent. I love that Angel was over 200 years old and didn’t know how to date! That he just a unsure, just as vulnerable, and that together they tried to beat the odds. I love that they made each other happy, so purely happy that Angel literally could not be in a relationship with her otherwise he would lose himself. I HATE that I can’t have my happy ending, but I love the symbolism of it, what the Angelus tour stood for, what it meant for the characters, how it influenced Buffy’s journey. Bangel taught me that an important aspect of love is sacrifice. Bangel also taught me that love can be enduring, and span continents, time, lives. The thing I love most about Bangel is how their love persists after years, even when their involved with other people. And that’s not to say that those other relationships didn’t matter. They did. But it shows that love has layers. Anyhoo, Bangel forever.

I will forever be one of the most unproblematic viewers because I deeply enjoy flaws, and Joss gave us some of the most flawed characters, it’s beautiful how he managed to write human so well. I love Buffy’s strength, but sometimes she’s too rod stiff in her strength. Willow was confident in her mind, but took a long time to become build up her self esteem. Xander, my son, somehow managed to balance being selfless and selfish in the most fascinating way. Giles would let the world burn for Buffy even though he was one of its fiercest protectors. Angel had love, but he was still one of the loneliest people ever, and I don’t think anyone really grasped the extent of his punishment on BtVS. Spike didn’t learn courage until he found people he cared about more than his own skin. Anya, my daughter, literally had to learn to be human. Faith, my problematic fave, wrestled with self worth even when quipping. Dawn (I know you didn’t ask but I’m a huge Dawn fan) got to be and act like a teen!  They were ALL amazing. I’m a fan of them all. Buffy is my fave, and Wesley was the only character I did not like (and that was only on BtVS).

Anyways, I just have to say BtVS shaped my pre-teen/teen years. I love vampires because of Buffy. I love villains because of Buffy. I love the art of television because of Buffy. I love mythology because of Buffy. I learned what it meant to be a loving friend and sister because of Buffy. I learned that living is the bravest thing I will ever do, and I’m so happy I woke up every morning at 5 AM and turned on FX to get my next life lesson.

[random-fandoms-stuff]

Then when a male and female friends (thats what they are JUST FRIEND'S) are on screen people be like "they should kiss"

i would just like to point out that the argument “why can’t people just be friends anymore??” usually only comes up on posts about queer ships. not always, but 99% of the time.