#why do writers ever think stripping supernatural beings of their power is a good ending

[fearandhatred]

i will accept almost anything neil gives us for season 3. but if crowley and aziraphale become human i will genuinely become the zodiac killer

[orionsangel86]

Hey Everyone,

As you have probably noticed, I have neglected this blog for a long time now. I haven’t been on any fandom related social media at all actually. But I figured since I am currently in a good mindset, I want to write a post just outlining some things which basically boils down to a goodbye letter to Supernatural fandom.

Long rambling post below the cut...

This year (and the last) has just taken it out of me in terms of general negativity online both in fandom and in the real world. At first I got tired of fandom (mostly because Twitter is a cesspool of policing and bullying) and then I got tired of everything else (the world sucks right now, and my mental health basically stopped me from being able to participate in any form of online activism – just because I’m not blogging about something, doesn’t mean I don’t support the cause ya know?). Earlier this year, right around the time of the UK lockdowns, I had surgery and a recovery period in which I spent a lot of time with family, and just reacquainted myself with the real world. I think perhaps the coronavirus pandemic made me realise that long before lockdown began I had already been isolating myself from my real life and diving further and further into an online black hole.

It was years in the making. Supernatural fandom preoccupied my thoughts for such a long period of time it got to the point where every moment of my non working time seemed to be spent either online scrolling my tumblr dash or twitter feed, or reading fanfic or doing something fandom related. I invested so much of myself into this show and fandom that I think I forgot who I was before I was a Supernatural fan completely.

After my wake up call in late 2019, which lead me to break free from an extremely nasty clique, I have tried to re-enter fandom on my own terms, as well as attempt to enjoy the source material and the fandom creations to ignite some new spark of love and interest in the show. Yet as much as I have tried, I have failed to do so.

I was thinking recently about someone I used to follow years ago before I ever created a blog. When I was still just lurking in the tumblr shadows and followed the likes of Mittens, Lizbob, and other meta writers of the period, there was a blogger whose name I can’t remember but she was the funniest blogger I had come across. But when the show killed off Charlie Bradbury, she quit. I had never even interacted with her, as I was barely getting my blog started at the time, but I’ll never forget a post she wrote about her feelings on the show. She had recently started watching something else (I think it was Sense8 but can’t recall entirely), and that this new show had given her everything she had never thought she could have from her fave before. She wrote about how her relationship with Supernatural had become abusive. That for years the writers of Supernatural continued to throw punches at fans like her – women, LGBTQ+ people, people of colour, and yet she continued to give it all her time and attention, brushing off the punches because she was so damn devoted to the characters. Then this new show had come along, and it was like she had seen the light. The killing of Charlie Bradbury was the last straw, and she dumped Supernatural’s ass and fled into the arms of her new love.

I hope she is doing fantastically today.

What she wrote has resonated with me for years. I was a fairly new Supernatural fan at the time, and therefore didn’t really understand what she meant. A TV show can’t be abusive. Can it?

Of course, we are speaking in metaphor here, and in no way are these metaphors meant to reduce or limit the truly serious situation of actual abusive relationships, but every now and then, when a new episode of Supernatural has left me feeling upset, disappointed, frustrated and grossly let down, in some cases affecting my mood for days at a time, and therefore my mental health. I have thought back to those words she wrote and quietly agreed with them in my head. Yes. This is a metaphorically abusive relationship.

When I discovered earlier this year that Castiel was most likely going to be killed off in some sort of bullshit self sacrifice before the end of the show, I was extremely distressed. When I found out that my favourite person of all time Misha Collins, supported this ending for Castiel, and may have even been the one who pushed for it, I was more than distressed, I felt betrayed by the person I cared about most. I’ll admit to you all now that in my weakest moments I have fantasized about standing in front of Misha and screaming at him exactly just what kind of affect his “ideal ending” for Castiel will have on his fanbase, on their mental health, and potentially their own safety. This fantasy has me guilt tripping him and doing everything in my power to make him feel utterly shit about the decision. I know what you are thinking – don’t blame Misha, the guy has his own problems and we all know he projects his own self esteem issues onto Cas – and yes, I know this, like I said its only a fantasy to get me through my darkest moments. I don’t hate Misha at all. But perhaps I do love him a little less nowadays than I did back at the height of my fandom life. That’s at least still a little bit more than my feelings for Jensen and Jared which now I can only describe as complete indifference.

I am admitting all of this now knowing full well it will ignite shock and anger among the more die hard fans of J2M, to explain why I need to just leave this fandom completely, or more accurately, why I have already left fandom.

Over the past 10 months of 2020, I have watched a lot of TV (there isn’t much else to do during a lockdown when you are on crutches with your foot in a cast!) and the one thought that occurred to me over and over again was “this show is so much better than Supernatural”.

I kept comparing everything I watched, from the quality of the scripts, the actors, the special effects, to the inclusiveness of the shows. Just so many beautiful and interesting stories that seem to understand their audience, and understand how to entertain and impress without resorting to cringe humour, outdated jokes, and prejudice, not to mention misogyny and queerbaiting – yup, I said it.

The thing is, I think these thoughts have been creeping over me slowly for longer than just this year, but I have been desperately batting them away the way Dean Winchester bats away his own gay thoughts. Unlike Dean though, eventually I couldn’t ignore them anymore. I cannot continue to carve out space in my own soul for this show, which incessantly beats me down regardless of my devotion. The creators, the network, the writers, and sometimes even the cast, have all shown that they don’t care about me as a fan. I’m not some gun toting dudebro living in middle America, so why should they give a damn about me? I’m clearly not their target audience, nor have I ever been.

I know many of you will vehemently deny my personal opinion of Supernatural now. That is absolutely fine. I am sorry to be admitting it, but I had to. I feel like once I finally write out these words, I have got it off my chest and can close and lock the door on Supernatural for good.

Without Supernatural, I am able to focus on my real life, I am able to find pleasure in other things, new things, interesting things, that bring me joy and joy alone – not disappointment and frustration. I found a new job this year, which has been a huge accomplishment as I was stagnating in my old one, and several new hobbies under my belt. I moved to a new flat, I have a lovely flatmate who has been a godsend throughout lockdown, and I have rekindled friendships that I was neglecting due to my Supernatural obsession.

All in all, I am finding post-Supernatural life far more rewarding and content than my life in fandom. It has taken me a while, but I am over the show. And whilst I will always hold a special place in my heart for Castiel, it will be as I know him in my own mind; as the wonderful, strong, powerful and determined angel with a soul, who loves so strongly, and who is worth so much more than his own creators give him credit for. He is up there with Aziraphale and Crowley, with The Doctor, and Buffy, as one of the greatest characters of all time.  

So the Supernatural writers and creators can take whatever ending they have decided upon, and shove it up their asses. I am sorry to say that Sam and Dean Winchester are also lost to me. Any love I had for them was destroyed by their later season depictions. Castiel alone is the only character worthy of that space in my heart now. If in time he longs for a companion, I will find one for him, but it won’t be the Dean Winchester of the canon show. Canon Dean hasn’t been deserving of Cas for a long time now.

Perhaps I am still a little bitter about the ending. Perhaps the finale won’t be the disaster I expect it to be, perhaps Dabb will somehow turn it all around last minute following whatever travesty Bucklemming have given us in 15x19. Either way, I won’t be watching.

So this is me saying goodbye to this blog, at least until I have decided what else to do with it. It certainly won’t be a Supernatural fandom blog anymore. It wasn’t all wasted though. I did get a wonderful friendship group out of this fandom, and I have certainly expanded my knowledge of film and television analysis, as well as having enjoyed a great many memes.

I guess in the end, my internal war with my inner bitter Cas girl finished with her winning, and writing this post. Once it is posted however, I will put her to sleep with thoughts of a happy Castiel, who has swapped his wings for a beating human heart, and is living on a beach somewhere beautiful, refurbishing an old Victorian house, and greeting his kindly elderly neighbours. There’s a gay bar on the main strip, and the bartender is quite a dish. Green eyes and light brown hair with a killer smile. Castiel thinks he looks familiar, like a memory from a past life, but they’ve definitely never met, because this man is kind.

Now that she is asleep, there is nothing left for me here. Goodbye everyone. Whether you manage to enjoy the finale or not, I truly hope you too, find your peace.

[atc74]

Chuck, Your Brother and Me

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death (this is about a Winchester...) Stubborn Dean, fluffy finish

Summary:  After the return of Chuck and the drama that ensued, Y/N tries to convince Dean that no one will love him more than she does.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1556

Beta’d by: @hannahindie

A/N: I just love the idea of the reader loving Dean so completely. Set after S11E20 where Chuck reveals himself to the Winchester, but before Amara returns Mary to Earth and her sons. Based off the Florida Georgia Line song “God, Your Mama and Me” but I loved the idea of making it about Dean, not the reader. 

Dean stormed down the hall. He had had enough of Chuck’s bullshit excuses. Where was He when the world needed him? When they needed him? They had both been praying to Him once they learned Amara’s true identity, begging Him to come stop her; to save humanity.

Y/N waited, knowing Dean would need some time to cool down. She had watched the entire interaction with Chuck and the Winchesters. She understood why He had disappeared. She didn’t agree with it, no, but she understood. Just because he was God, doesn’t mean he didn’t feel the need to explore himself and cut the proverbial apron strings.

She had been through so much with the Winchesters after years of hunting with them. Sam was her best friend, her rock. Dean, well, her relationship with Dean was complicated. She had confessed her love to him when he returned from Purgatory, having lived a half life without him for a year. It almost broke her, being on her own. Sam had taken off to parts unknown. Bobby was dead. Everyone she loved had left or died. She was truly alone. She had retreated to Whitefish, Montana and hermited herself in Rufus’ old hunting cabin for most of that year. She had looked for Dean. She had reached out to witches, a shaman, a hoodoo priestess, everyone she could think of that could aide her in finding him. When that all failed, she closed in on herself.

Imagine her surprise when Dean showed up at the cabin. She was so grateful for his safe return that she admitted her feelings. But, Dean being Dean, couldn’t understand why someone would love him the way she said did. It took months of chipping away at the wall, but he had finally started to see the truth, feel the love she showed him, and most importantly, believe that he deserved to be loved.

She truly believed that Chuck felt he had done the right thing and he came back when they needed him, not before. She could feel the love he held inside him for the Winchesters, even for herself. It would take some convincing for her help Dean see it as well.

She quietly slipped from the War Room and through the winding halls looking for Dean. If he wanted to be alone, she would leave him be, but knowing the man for a decade, she knew when he needed comfort, too, even if he was too stubborn to admit it. It wasn’t until she reached the garage that she found him. He was sitting beside the workbench, a rag in his hands and his head down.

Dean lifted his head at the sound of her footfalls as she approached him. “Hey. What’re you doing here?”

“Looking for you. What are you doing here?” Y/N asked, flipping over an empty bucket, taking a seat next to him.

“Thinking,” he shrugged. She could still see the fresh tear tracks on his face.

“I know how you’re feeling Dean. I know it’s unfair to the world what He did. But He’s here now, when we need Him,” she took his hand gently in hers, pulling it into her lap. “That’s what counts, right?”

“It just seems like too little, too late, you know?” he sniffed, turning his head to look at her. “Can he even stop Amara?”

“Sometimes, we need to have a little faith, Dean,” she reminded him. She stood, tugging on his hand still held in hers. “Come on, let’s go to bed. Tomorrow is a new day.”

“Yeah, okay,” he relented, following her back through the halls to their room.

They silently readied themselves for bed, Y/N in one of Dean’s old shirts, while Dean stripped to just his boxers. They climbed under the covers and Y/N turned to face him, each of them laying on their sides.

“You know I love you, right?” she asked, running her hand over his scruff, stopping to hold his face in her hand.

“Yeah, I know, Sweetheart. I love you, too,” he whispered in the darkness, pressing a kiss to her palm.

“And your brother,” she reminded him.

“Yeah, Sammy, too. Till the wheels fall off,” he chuckled, a small smile on his face.

“Chuck loves you as well, Dean. You know that, too, right?” she coaxed. “He may not know how to show it, but he’s here and I know.”

“Yeah, I do. It’s know there was always this grand plan for us, for me. Like when Cas raised me from the pit. I didn’t believe it then and it’s still a little hard to believe now. Why would God, Chuck, give a crap about us?” He pointed out.

“Because you’re good people. You are a good person Dean. You love with all your heart. You are loyal and caring and generous. You do things no one else would even think about doing,” she listed all the reasons why. “And because, you know it’s the right thing to do.”

“But it doesn’t make up fo the all the bad I’ve done,” Dean sighed, averting his eyes from hers.

“The bad we’ve done, Dean. Sometimes we have to do that bad things, so we can do the good things. You, me, Sam...we’ve all done it. And we’ve done it together. We’re still here and still doing the good things,” she stated.

“I don’t think it’s that simple. It’s like you. Why do you love me?” Dean propped himself up on one elbow, looking down at her.

“For ten years, you have been my friend, my comfort, my safe place. It never occurred to me how much I needed you until you were gone. Twice. You’ve died, gone to Hell, disappeared for a year in Purgatory, but I was here, holding out hope, though I could barely keep myself together. I could never admit it to myself, let alone you. But now that I have you, my love is never gonna run dry, never gonna come up empty. Now until the day I die, unconditionally, you know I'm always gonna be here for you,” she preached to him.

“You didn’t answer the question, Y/N,” he pointed out.

“Fine, you’re right. Every fight, every case, every monster, you put us first. You are fiercely loyal, to a fault sometimes. You strive to see the good in people. And yes, I did tell you all this, but I will happily tell you again and again until you believe me. You love with everything you are. Family is most the important thing to you. And you fight for what you believe in,” she continued.

“Your heart, your mind… both are big and beautiful and I am in constant awe of you and the things you can accomplish when you put your mind to it. My heart was lost without you, Dean. I was lost without you. I will be here for you, no matter what. I will be there praying with you every mile down any dead end road. You can tell me every secret that you been keeping, I'll hold it, lock and key. I’ll stay up with you all night, holding you all night, I’ll never leave. You better believe my love is never gonna run dry, never gonna come up empty. I promise you now until the day I die, unconditionally,” her promises were her vow to him there in the darkness.

“That is, just wow, I’m going to have to steal that,” he smiled.

“Steal it? For what?” she nuzzled close to him.

“For when I ask you to marry me,” he confessed. “We’ve talked about it, I know. And I always wanted to, but you always said you didn’t need a ring or a a ceremony to prove our love. But that, was some pretty powerful stuff, Sweetheart.”

“Love can be pretty powerful, if we let it,” she told him. “I’d marry you in a heartbeat.”

“I don’t think anyone has ever loved me the way you do, Y/N,” Dean turned serious. “No one in my life has made me feel the way you do.”

“No one is ever gonna love you more than Chuck, your brother and me, Dean,” she kissed the tip of his nose. “I’ll always be by your side. With every step you take, I'll be as sure as your shadow. With every move you make, you know I'm part of you wherever you go.”

Dean threw the covers back and got out of bed. He threw his robe and slippers on and headed for the door.

“Babe? Where are you going?” she stared at him from her spot on the bed.

“You just gonna lay there? Let’s go ask Chuck to marry us!” he said, opening the door.

“Right now?” she was shocked that he was doing this now.

“No, not right now, we’re not dressed! But soon. When we take down Amara, and we will, I want you by my side, as my wife,” he professed.

“Who knew Dean Winchester was such a romantic sap?” she sassed, pulling on her own robe.

“You did. And you were the one that finally got through to me, even if it took a decade. I don’t want to wait any longer,” he took her hand and together they went on their search for Chuck.

Did you like this?? Remember, the nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

The Whole Enchilada Taglist: @closetspngirl @emoryhemsworth @iwantthedean @meganwinchester1999 @sis-tafics @wilde-abandon @wegoddessofhell @holyfuckloueh @horsegirly99 @smoothdogsgirl @dolphincliffs @thisismysecrethappyplace @neeadinghugs @roxyspearing @theoriginalvicki @andkatiethings @mrswhozeewhatsis @linki-locks11 @evansrogerskitten @hennessy0274-blog @hobby27 @kdfrqqg @gh0stgurl @charliebradbury1104 @blacktithe7 @the--blackdahlia @fortisetgloriosusinarduis @roseblue373 @hannahindie @pinknerdpanda @cherrycokegirls1

The Dean’s List: @supernatural-jackles @dean-winchesters-bacon @cameronbraswell @docharleythegeekqueen @maddiepants @squirrel-moose-winchester @amanda-teaches @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @adoptdontshoppets @wingedcatninja @akshi8278 @kathaswings @deansgirl215 @x-waywardaf-x  @elara98azalea @jerkbitchidjitassbutt 

[teddystrap]

[神なる君と] Spirit duo - Yuzuru

Hmm I think the recommended order of the routes is: Narumi -> Yuzuru -> Yakumo -> Rei (-> Mikoto). So I kind of spoiled part of Yuzuru’s story by doing Yakumo first. But I wanted to do the two osananajimi routes one right after the other to get a good comparison. Also this route proves why Yakumo will always be my hero, even though he himself doesn’t feel confident enough to fulfil the role.

-Ninokami Yuzuru-

Yes I know your name is spelled with a 「づ」 not a 「ず」, but ‘Yuduru’ just sounds incredibly stupid to my English-speaking brain, so...

Yuzuru is the president of the student body and Yakumo’s close friend and classmate. It was revealed in Yakumo’s route that several hundred years ago, he saved a Takekiyo ancestor from being a human sacrifice by giving him a medicine that brought him back from the dead - thereby extending the curse to the kid’d descendants. Now here we get the full story:

Yuzuru was once a God (his surname ‘Ninokami’ is a dead giveaway), he came to earth and befriended a child (Yakumo’s ancestor). Later he found out that the child would be sacrificed to prevent the Great Demon’s curse, so he tried to persuade him to run away, but the child refused. So in the end the villagers got their sacrificial ceremony, and Yuzuru stole a forbidden medicine from Heaven and brought the child back to life.

For that he was punished, stripped of his godly powers and banished to earth as a demon. A blizzard started happening around the same time that lasted many years and claimed many lives (by famine), and the humans totally thought it was his fault for saving the boy (even though he did it after the fact so there was no conflict). The villagers locked him up in a dungeon and tortured him for many decades. At first he believed that the boy he saved would come and rescue him, but he gradually lost hope, and finally when the boy (now an old man) came to save him, he had already reached misanthropy level 900...

As part of his punishment, he is supposed to perform community service on earth and accumulate enough karma to restore his godly powers and return to Heaven. So he’s been happily (well, deep down angrily) doing that for a few hundred years, until Sakuya and co. came along. Early on in the route, Sakuya was confronted by the baleful spirits who died during the famine, who asked her to avenge their death by killing *a certain demon* (ahem *Yuzuru*).

Not knowing who they are talking about, she went to Yuzuru for help, and ofc he refused. So then she went back to negotiate with the spirits and they started attacking her like crazy. Yuzuru saved her and healed her, using up all his karma in the process, so now he has to start over from zero. He decides to start a new life, so he erases everybody’s memories (yes he can do that) and disappears without a trace.

The next day Sakuya goes to school and enters the *Twilight Zone*, because nobody knows/remembers ‘Yuzuru-senpai’, and there’s no record of him ever existing. Finally she found Yakumo who also remembers the poor bastard. Yakumo speculates that those closest to him have memories that are too strong to be erased by his memory-erasing powers. They hold a group meeting to try to find him, but in the meantime time is of the essence because even their memories are fading...

Yakumo-nii-san totally came to our rescue in this route ｯ(ﾉω･､)ﾟ.+°

Sakuya goes to Mikoto for help, and he takes her to the Ancient God who placed the curse on Yuzuru. For some reason the Ancient God takes the form of Yorihito the stone hound with evil eyes and has a disembodied robot voice. But anyway. The Ancient God tells her Yuzuru’s whole history, and she decides to return his act of grace by helping him return to Heaven.

She eventually finds Yuzuru and latches on to him like a stage-5 clinger because she’s scared he’ll disappear again. Then, with the help of Aki and Fuu-san’s tools, she goes back to find the baleful spirits and successfully sends them off to be reincarnated. This drained a lot of her powers and she fell sick for a while, until Narumi notices something is wrong and her life is at risk. 

She goes back to the Ancient God, who tells her that the bad energy from the spirits is slowly eating away at her, and she will die in a few years - unless Yuzuru gives up all his supernatural powers to heal her, and becomes a regular human. So she doesn’t have to die, and he can stay on earth with her. Two birds with one stone, how convenient, you can’t make this stuff up... except Otomate totally did rofl XD.

(Also somebody probably should’ve told her this stuff before she went and saved those evil spirits huh.)

All this talk about the impenetrability of Fate is frankly kind of ironic in a ‘choose your own ending’ visual novel.

So Sakuya doesn’t want to keep Yuzuru from returning to Heaven. She tries to come to terms with the fact that she’s going to die... when Yuzuru found out about all this from Narumi, and decides to give up all his powers to save her. He takes her to a hilltop on hoshimatsuri night and gives her the Kiss of Death Life.

In the good end he gets a job after graduation at the same government agency as Aki and is responsible for watching over the peace of Mikagurayama. He asks Sakuya to move in with him (she agrees ofc), and they get married after a few years. (She also gives him a badly knit scarf but whatever.) I didn’t make enough save states so I couldn’t get the other/bad endings, but tbh I don’t think I’m strong enough to handle a tragedy, after everything that this route has put me through...

[Thoughts] Honestly this route is the most emotional one for me so far, I felt like I really went through an entire relationship in this short span. The common/early events were a riot. I love the back-and-forth exchanges between them - you get some of it in Narumi/Yakumo’s routes, but since they were already close to her to begin with, the later contrast/transition in the interaction is not as great.

Normal couples finish each other’s sentences, but soul mates finish each other’s tsukkomi!

In a lot of ways I felt like Yuzuru really pushed Sakuya to her limits. In Yakumo’s route she was trying to be an emotionally responsible adult, but here she’s giving her best in everything she does - whether it’s working at his store or helping out with the student government events. Also Yuzuru is the only one who’s able to force her to study lol.

And ofc the grand gesture she did risking her own life to send him back to Heaven - she has to make sacrifices in every route, but here it felt like she really did it for him and not just for love. It seemed like she forgot about herself / their future momentarily when she was just thinking of making him happy by fulfilling his wish. I thought it really fit her personality.

Yuzuru is a total sweetheart!! I already liked him in all the other routes, and his own story certainly didn’t disappoint, he honestly can do no wrong. I almost feel like saying, here, here’s an ‘asshole’ character done right - he comes across as an asshole but everything he does is incredibly sweet and selfless (a ‘sharp tongue full of love’, as they say). Unlike in some games where the do-S bastards do nothing but abuse the heroine and she somehow still ends up falling in love with them out of some Stockholm Syndrome or something. But anyway that’s another story.

One thing I noticed is that Sakuya says, ‘うれしい／うれしかった’ a lot in this route, which is proof of how happy Yuzuru made her and what a great guy he is (*/^-^)/. Seriously this game just has one great character after another, I feel like I like each one more than the last and I can’t choose!

When Sakuya told Narumi her fear of losing her memories of senpai, Narumi opened his mouth to say something, but then thought better of it... I wonder what he was about to say?

Sakuya is also extra cute in this route - the way she held Yuzuru's hand and wouldn’t let go when she finally found him, the way she got jealous that he was polite to everyone else, etc. It almost makes up for her eating up all his karma lol. Also I guess the writers are trying to avoid spoilers, but I kind of wonder what happened to Yakumo in this route, because there was no mention of his ‘condition’ here. (This route did display the epic bromance between those two, though. Even more than in Yakumo’s route.)

...At this point I only have Rei’s route left, before I get to the hidden character ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ) [ミコトさん、私を待っててくれ！]. Rei is adorable even though I don’t get the romantic feels for him (#shouta; I guess the fact that he’s unusually mature for his age makes up for it a little bit), but nonetheless (a) his story is a total mystery, and (b) I’m really curious how the writers would make his ending work, since as a ghost/wandering spirit he’s supposed to find his purpose and be sent of back to the reincarnation cycle.

[nealcassatiel]

2. Allen Ginsberg, Castiel, and Buddhism: Cas in the bardo - an exploration of the Tibetan Buddhist death bardos and Castiel (I)

“Wanna drift off and become a newspaper headline, / what good favourable publicity in the bardo? Allen Ginsberg says, these words’ll get you nowhere / these jokes won’t be funny when everyone leaves the seven exits.” (Allen Ginsberg, Bowel Song)

Introduction

In my previous meta I discussed Cas in relation to Buddhism. In this post I will continue on this theme, looking specifically at Cas’s death state and the Buddhist concept of the bardo. I will be looking almost solely at Tibetan Buddhism which is in the Mahayana school of Buddhism. I have studied Buddhism for four or five years, however the subject is vast and please forgive me if my knowledge isn’t the best. If you have any questions about Tibetan Buddhism please ask them and if I can’t answer them, I’ll try and find out an answer from a teacher at my next visit to the Tibetan Buddhist Centre.

As a side note and personal note to this meta, I had intended to do more research on this as anything relating to theology, religion, or Buddhism is going to take a lot of research and understanding regardless of how much someone has previously studied the subject. My research was shortened and curtailed by the passing of a good friend. I had planned to write this meta about a month ago however the subject of death has been all too real for me since his passing. I apologize if this meta is too short or doesn’t go deeply enough and I will continue to write on this subject. Returning to the Buddhism and my meditations and readings this past week now that I am dealing with my grief better has been healing, and the insistence in meditating and thinking on death within Tibetan Buddhism has been a good thing to confront once more. I have been researching Tibetan Buddhist ideas on death specifically for the majority of the year for academic research, and I find solace that it has helped me in such trying times. To end this side note I would like to remind you all how loved you are and in the great words of great people; always keep fighting.

To recap on why I believe this is important, Cas is linked with Buddhism a fair bit. In The End his room was surrounded by Buddhist iconography, there were Buddhist decorations in his home when he was Emmanuel, and some of his beliefs and spiritual practices link as much to Buddhism as they do Christianity and Judaism.

The Empty and Death

At the end of 13x03 Cas woke up in what the writers are calling ‘The Empty’. It was mentioned by Billie in season 12. We don’t know much about the empty but Billie says this to Sam;

-       ‘There’s one hard and fast rule in this universe: what lives, dies. So the next time you or your brother bite it… well… you’re not going to heaven or hell. One of us and I hope it’s me, we’re gonna make a mistake and toss you out into The Empty. And nothing comes back from that.’

So here we see the Buddhist thoughts on death. In Tibetan Buddhism, a well-known practice is to focus on death and to come to terms that everything which lives must die.

-       ‘From the summit of the highest heavens to the very depths of hell, there is not a single being who can escape death. As the Letter of Consolation says: ‘Have you ever, on earth or in the heavens, / Seen a being born who will not die? / Or heard that such a thing had happened? / Or even suspected that it might?’’ (Patrul Rinpoche, Words of my Perfect Teacher: A Complete Translation of a Classic Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism, trans. Padmakara Translation Group, p. 41)

This is a major concept in Tibetan Buddhism which monks spend years focusing on in order to try to combat their death fear and help their passage out of samsara after death.

-       ‘Meditate only on death, earnestly and from the core of your heart.’ (Patrul Rinpoche, Words of my Perfect Teacher: A Complete Translation of a Classic Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism, trans. Padmakara Translation Group, p. 55.)

Allen Ginsberg, Buddhism, and Death

Allen Ginsberg also had this death fear and tried to focus and accept his death, in fact his last collection of poetry entitled ‘Death & Fame’ focused a lot on him trying to visualize and accept his own death in multi-religious terms, but mainly in Buddhist terms. On his death bed he tried to focus on Buddhism and mantras and his Buddhist teacher was called to sit with him and recite death rituals before his death and after passing. Ginsberg had a Buddhist ceremony as well as one in a church after he had passed away in 1997. I mention this because Cas can be linked very well to Ginsberg (also because my grad dissertation was about Ginsberg, Buddhism, and death – hashtag spon to that basically unread thesis that I poured so much into).

Death, Rebirth, and SPN

Another thing to note is the concept of death and rebirth in Supernatural. The brothers have died a fair few times and come back, but let’s focus on Cas. In Buddhism, one’s rebirth is dependent upon their past life. One’s karma at the end of one’s life ensures the next life. In Cas’s deaths and rebirths he has changed from each one and his past life has influenced his personality after his next resurrection. An interesting thing to understand about karma is that it doesn’t affect you in your current life. Whilst bad actions may cause bad consequences, that is not karma. Karma only has effect on you once you’re dead, so any time someone ends a story about someone getting their comeuppance and says ‘that’s karma for you’, you can correct them and say that is incorrect if ya want.

The Bardos

So, onto the bardos.

The Tibetan Book of the Dead, in brief, is a text which contains mantras to read before one’s passing and once one is dead. It contains many chapters detailing practices and meditations and yogas to do before one’s death in order to help prepare the oneself to escape samsara (the wheel of existence where one is caught in a cycle of birth and death and rebirth).

The first bardo is the chi kha and occurs immediately after death when a profound state of consciousness occurs, called the clear light. If one can recognise this light as their reality, they are thrown out of samsara (the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth).

If one does not recognise this light they are thrown into the second bardo, the bardo of reality called chos nyid bar do. In this bardo they are shown reality in a multi-coloured mandala of forty-two peaceful deities and a mandala of fifty-eight wrathful deities. These appear to the consciousness of the recently deceased in the days following death. If reality is not recognised here then they are placed into the third bardo – the bardo of mundane existence (sri pah bar do). In this third bardo they are rebirthed in one of the six realms of gods, demigods, humans, animals, hungry ghosts, or in hell. The karma (the wrongdoings of the deceased) in their past life will gauge which realm they will be rebirthed into.

Death holds up a mirror of our past life actions.

If recognition of death and the new reality does not occur immediately in the first intermediate state after death, then the deceased moves into the second intermediate state. This second intermediate state is called ‘the pure illusory body’, during which the consciousness achieves clarity even if the deceased doesn’t know they are dead. During this stage, if proper teaching is given, the deceased will no longer be controlled by past actions. ‘Just as, for example, darkness is destroyed by the light of the sun, the controlling force of past actions is destroyed by this ‘inner radiance of the path’ and liberation is attained.’ If liberation is not attained in this state, then the deceased moves onto the third intermediate state during which bewildering apparitions (which are the product of past actions) will emerge. ‘At around this time, the bereaved relatives will be crying and expressing their grief. They will no longer be serving the deceased share of food, they will have removed his or her clothes and stripped down the bed, and so forth. Although the deceased can see them, they cannot see the deceased. Although the deceased can hear them calling out, they cannot hear the departed one calling back so the deceased may turn away in a state of despaired. At this time, three phenomena – sounds, lights and rays of light – will arise, and the deceased may faint with fear, terror, or awe. Thus, during this period, the following Great Introduction to the Intermediate State of Reality should be given. Call the deceased by name and say the following words’.

“O, Child of Buddha Nature, that which is called death has now arrived. You are leaving this world. But in this you are not alone. This happens to everyone. Do not be attached to this life. Do not cling to this life. Even if you remain attached and clinging you do not have the power to stay – you will only continue to roam within the cycles of existence. Therefore, do not be attached and do not cling. Think of the Three Prescious Jewels! O, Child of Buddha Nature, however terrifying the appearances of the intermediate state of reality might be, do not forget the following words. Go forward remembering their meaning. The crucial point is that through them recognition may be attained. Alas, now, as the intermediate state of reality arises before me, renouncing the merest thought of awe, terror or fear, I will recognise all that arises to be awareness manifesting naturally of itself. Knowing such sounds, light, and rays, to be visionary phenomena of the intermediate state. At this moment, having reached this critical point, I must not fear the assembly of Peaceful and Wrathful Deities, which manifest naturally…. O, Child of Buddha Nature, if you do not now recognise these phenomena to be natural manifestations, whatever meditative practices you may have undertaken whilst in the human world, if you have not previously encountered this present instruction, you will fear the light, you will be awed by the sound and you will be terrified by the rays. If you do not now understand this essential point of the teaching, you will not recognise the sounds, the lights and the rays, and you will continue to roam within the cycles of existence. O, Child of Buddha Nature, should you have moved on, (without recognition), after having been unconscious for (up to) three and a half days, you will awaken from unconsciousness and wonder ‘what has happened to me?’ So recognise this to be the intermediate state. At this time the aspects of the cycles of existence are reversed (into their own true nature) and all phenomena are arising as lights and Buddha-bodies.’

Then a bright blue light will arise in the space. One should be drawn to it. There will be a dull white light of the god realms. Do not be drawn to that. It will spin you into the god realm and back into the cycles of samsara. Focus on the blue light. Other coloured lights occur and deities help to guide the deceased to the blue light. A dull blue light emerges which tries to call the deceased back to the human realm. Those with training will be more likely to walk towards the right light and take refuge in the Buddha to relieve themselves of being born back into samsara.

Within the bardos the deceased will be frightened and fearful. We see that Cas looks vulnerable and fearful when he wakes up in the empty.

Some Notes on the bardos and Cas in The Empty

-       Normally people don’t realise they go into the bardo after death as they are normally flung back into samsara. Those who are spiritual or have undergone training will be aware of the bardo after death. (This is important with Cas because he is a spiritual person, and so if we liken The Empty to the bardo, he will fair better in this space because of his spirituality.

-       In some folk, hindu, and folk Buddhist beliefs the last thought of the dying person is important and will help or hinder them in the bardo. (One of Cas’s last thoughts was probably saving Sam, Dean, and Jack, and so in The Empty these thoughts may stick with him all the more clearer (although they are pretty clear already. So his will to get back to Dean et al will be fundamental to his path through this in between place).

-       For those who were spiritual in their lives, in the bardo they will be more likely to meet enlightened beings who will appear to them. (This is interesting because from what we know about the spoilers, another person is there with him. This could be another angel and chuck knows I’m praying for the return of Gabriel, or it could be another version of Cas. In the bardo, the beings/gods who appear to the person do not have to be literal. Many people within Tibetan Buddhism see the gods and spiritual apparitions within the bardo as manifestations of one’s inner self, whether that be the greed or the pride or the love or the kindness).

-       The individual is also presented with a means of ending these encounters by paying attention to images and lights that feel comforting and familiar, and sometimes represent one of the passions that appeal to the person. This is where people's unconsciousness tendencies take control as they are variously attracted to jealously which can bring future lives of fighting and quarreling, pride which leads to another human rebirth, or aggression and violence which can lead to a rebirth in a hell world. Being attracted to these lights and images will cause the spiritual being to disappear and the opportunity to gain insight and enter their spiritual world will be lost. This is one of the important reasons for learning spiritual travel so that encounters with powerful spiritual states of consciousness become familiar and desirable instead objects of fear to be avoided.

-       If the first bardo passes and attempts to access spiritual states were unsuccessful, the next bardo begins. The second bardo or the "bardo of becoming" is a stage in which the desires of the individual are said to carry the largely helpless soul through a great variety of intense emotional states. Good thoughts bring great bliss and pleasure, and hateful or negative thoughts bring great pain and desolation. The soul bounces from thought to thought as a torrent of thoughts and feelings come like a waterfall. Existing thought habits and desires are said to define the experience of the soul during the afterlife in this way. (Again, we see that the bardo is a space for the inner self to manifest around oneself. I think that in SPN, they will use The Empty in a similar way – in that it will be a space where Cas can understand who he is. It will be a mindful, meditative, and self-reflexive space in which he will understand who he is and the life he lead. He will see what is important to him and what he should cling to and what he should leave).

-       The greatest problems of the soul in the second bardo are negative emotions like guilt and fear (which results from a lack of familiarity with the inner worlds), and lack of conscious control over its own experience. Fear is particularly harmful because it fragments the self making concentration on one thing difficult or impossible, and this can lead to confusion and loss of conscious control. (I think Cas will certainly explore these things within The Empty. He has been ridden by guilt for many seasons and I believe that he will feel the weight of his past actions even in death. However I think he will get through these and return to earth having done away with the negative emotions and guilt having worked through them all in the empty).

-       For those fortunate enough to be more conscious in these bardo states, a petition to a god, guru, guide, saint, or intercessor can be made in hopes that the individual will be lifted or guided out of the bardo worlds by one of those entities. But here again, the call must be concentrated and the ability to ignore the surrounding chaos somewhat developed. When such grace is given, it is a form of salvation where the individual is saved from the discomfort and confusion of the "outer darkness" of the bardo by a powerful entity - usually one that individuals formed a bond with in their former life. (Cas’s devotion to jack comes in here. Jack guides him back. This is an interesting discussion of faith here, because Cas has faith in Jack. And whilst some people may be angry at Cas for following Jack and placing faith in him, many people need figures within their lives in whom they place their faith).

-       This ability to choose a good incarnation requires discrimination, and a certain degree of conscious awareness. The new age approach to reincarnation which claims we choose our new incarnation is idealistic and not always true from this vantage point. Many souls whose thoughts in life were tinged with or dominated by negative emotions, or those who have repressed and denied such emotion through lack of awareness or an unwavering commitment to "positive thinking" will likely be desperate to escape the confusion of the second bardo. They are therefore likely to grab on to the first opportunity that presents itself like a swimmer who grasps a log in dangerous rapids in hopes of making it to calmer waters. Choosing the first object (or incarnation) that comes along may not be the wisest choice. (It would be interesting to see a kind of psychedelic/spiritual space in which Cas is drawn towards and away from things which distract him from his internal analysis and reflextion, or that draw him away from a mission to return to earth).

-       The average person is said to spend a period of about forty-five days in the second bardo. However, passionate souls with strong desires or those responsible for evil acts in their most recent life are said to reincarnate almost immediately. In exceptional cases, the individual can stay in the bardo state for longer periods, and be drawn into its currents awaiting rebirth.

-       One factor that helps the soul achieve the freedom of conscious control and spiritual travel during the afterlife is acceptance of death. Those who have not accepted death will resist the process of dying and introduce conflict into the bardo stages. This is why it is important for people to take care of any unfinished business as they near death so they can let go of life completely. (This will be interesting to see if Cas excepts his death. I’m not sure about this as he was in a depressive slump for a long while. But I hope that his want and love for Dean and the guys will make him not accept his new life in The Empty).

Forgiveness & Salvation

In The Tibetan Book of the Dead there are constant opportunities for enlightenment, both in life and in death. In the bardo one is given the chance over and over again to come to the light of the Buddha and come out of samsara. This is a key point in supernatural, that there are constant chances for good, for salvation, for forgiveness, for moving on a dropping the weights of before. Being in the bardo is a spiritual experience that shows you your inner thoughts, fears, and emotions. It is a liminal space which helps one to move on to the next realm or g to the light of the Buddha. Cas will be flung back into the world of samsara into another rebirth – although as he is being reborn as himself we stray further from Buddhism.

Conclusion

But what will be interesting in this upcoming episode is to see how many similarities there are between The Empty and the bardo – whether Cas will encounter a spiritual being, whether he will see his emotions manifest, whether he will be drawn to certain things, whether he will be drawn to good and bad light, whether he will be drawn back to the boys, whether he will accept his death, whether he will be able to look within himself and deal with the guilt and negative emotions he has been troubled by…. Who knows.

[awed-frog]

Wait, you just said Cas didn't like being human but there's another meta writer saying he wants to be human - now my head hurts! Can you explain...?

Hey, I’m assuming when you say ‘another meta writer’ you’re talking about @tinkdw and her comment on my post? If so, a short answer for you may be that Tink and I see this show in a different way, and have agreed to disagree on several topics. I find her opinions interesting and well-written, and I think it’s enriching for the fandom that meta writers (not only me and Tink, obviously, but everyone else) come from different places and have different ideas about things. That said, what is also true about a show like Supernatural is that it delights in doublespeak, which I find - less interesting. Like, if you look at metas stuff from the other fandoms - unfortunately, I don’t have time to do so regularly, but I lurk on Reddit from time and time and I like to spy on the GoT fandom - well, I’m always slightly surprised at how different things are with them, because there, they discuss - normal things, you know? What they do is either trying to delve into the world-building (they argue about the size of dragons and the recipe of wild fire and the differences and similarities between Westeros and 15th century England) or speculating on foreshadowed plot points (Jon’s true parentage and what it could mean for the succession rights, what will happen to Bran’s powers, is Sam really writing this whole thing?) - and that’s it. Because even in such a complex story, who people are and what they want is mostly clear. There is no dogwhistling around important issues, no attempt to hide or tease a character’s sexuality - presumably because this is the twenty-first century, and if you want to write yourself a queer hero you can bloody do so.  

So, well - coming back to Cas’ humanity - as I said, Tink and I seem to have different opinions on the matter and that’s perfectly okay. If I understand her point, I think she’s right in that the narrative has been foreshadowing a ‘Cas will become human’ storyline for a while, because that’s how both he and Crowley were written in the last few years - the angel who was never happy, the demon who never fit, how they both fell in love with Dean Winchester and ultimately Fell for him - and, in a perfectly executed (if rushed and, in my opinion, badly written) The Last of the Mohicans scenario, the unwanted love interest (Crowley) sacrificed himself for his beloved, which means that Cas and Dean will eventually get their happy ending. 

Or, at least - that’s what happens in the trope, but there’s no real certainty Supernatural will go down this way at all. 

See, this was always the problem for me - that most of their story only makes sense if Crowley and Cas are in love with Dean (and by ‘in love’ I mean long walks on the beach and quickies on a kitchen table, not some sort of family bs), because, despite that whole thing with Sam’s blood, Crowley never bonded with Sam at all (because of REASONS, and wtf) and it was the fact he wanted to make Dean his and keep him safe that truly pushed him closer to humanity - not getting massages and sobbing in front of 1950s movies. And the same, of course, goes for Cas, and that’s the problem: as long as this love is not acknowledged in the open, all of this is subtextual, which means that nothing works the way it should. 

So, all of this to say - and I hope I’m making sense because I only slept five hours - that the issue with Cas’ humanity or lack thereof is a perfect example of Supernatural doublespeak: on the one hand, they’re teasing ‘what it could be’ and the whole hope Cas will do an Ariel (Disney version) and stay ‘for good’ (ie, living in the Bunker, with Dean, as a human, hunt with him and become that ‘something more - with a hunter’ Sam brought up out of the blue a couple of years ago), but on the other hand, they know that pursuing that option openly would imply coming clean on why, exactly, Dean and Cas are so interested in spending time together, and that’s something they’ve been unwilling to do for (*checks watch*) seven years now, so they’re stretching out the question of Cas’ identity instead, and toying with this will they/won’t they like a cat with a dying mouse. 

As to Cas himself, and what he wants - again, I disagree with Tink. I mean - while it’s true that Cas always had a fascination and love for humanity, he never expressed any interest in becoming human himself. He never did a Balthazar or a Thaddeus, inserting himself in a human family, or pursuing human friends. On the contrary, he’s always remained involved in the affairs of Heaven - from the beginning, Cas didn’t refuse Heaven by choosing Dean; instead, he was trying to fix the place and save it from itself - because it’s his home, and it’s been his home for millions of years. And getting to know Dean, learning to love him, has, if anything, intensified Cas’ desire to help his brothers - because he sees how selfless Dean is in helping his own (not only Sam, that is, but humanity as a whole). What Cas resents about Heaven, in my opinion, is not that he feels different - because, as we’ve seen, there are many angels who are different in some way - but that Heaven has lost its way, and has become a fearful, corrupted place. Cas’ problems - his depression, his certainty that he’s failed, his bitterness - won’t be solved by becoming human, or even by Sam and Dean opening their door to him (Dean has done so, after all, and it achieved nothing): what Cas needs is to fix his status as an angel, and that’s what would be ideal on a narrative level too, because choosing to stay on Earth when there is no other option is no choice at all. Furthermore, as @gneisscastiel said, we know Cas actively misses those pieces of his Grace that were taken from him. He misses flying, he misses the full extent of his powers; presumably, he misses belonging to a hive mind, and I always headcanoned that that’s why he feels so isolated all the time.

Now, if we consider the dark mirror here, a relationship between Dean and Crowley would never have worked, precisely because of this unbalance between them: Dean would never have trusted Crowley, not fully, until Crowley let go of his ‘demonhood’; but Crowley, in my opinion, would never have done so - perhaps out of fear, but mostly out of some healthy and founded self-preservation. But Cas - that’s a different matter. Cas doesn’t need to become human in order to become trustworthy, because he’s proved, again and again, that he can and will go against his species’ interests to help humanity (and Dean). And as for him powers and immortality - well, in an ordinary story, that would be a problem, but as @grey2510 pointed out, here things could work out, because Dean could grow old and die and Cas - Cas could simply fly up and share his Heaven (something that Bill Compton, for instance, would not have been able to do - hence his increasing desperation over his love for Sookie).

So, I don’t know. Personally, I think it would be cruel to strip Cas of his Grace in any case, and it would be a tad redundant and somewhat insulting to do so in the traditional way (ie, as a sacrifice to save Dean) now that Crowley’s done the same with little to show for it. Plus, if they did go there, it would need to be written right, with a full declaration of love on Dean’s part, because Cas becoming human - the subtext of that will always, always be ‘for Dean’ - and if they don’t make it explicit, what’s the point? And since they seem determined not to go there (I know some people are optimistic, but I’ll believe it when I see it - and by that I mean, Dean’s tongue in Cas’ mouth, not beer brands and wallpapers and missed phonecalls), since Cas himself is ambivalent about it, as is Dean (remember how guilty and terrified he was around human!Cas? an immortal creature losing his eternal life for him - do we really want to place this burden on Dean? would he ever recover?), personally I’d be happy with a different development - with Cas becoming more powerful, not less; with him recovering his wings and his brothers’ trust and with him being able to make his own choices, because that is, in a bizarre and unique twist, the only way to form a true relationship of equals between him and Dean.      

[medschoolash]

What’s next for Bonnie Bennett?

So, I’m sure this is the biggest question we’re all supposed to be asking after Enzo’s tragic death (RIP). I have a theory about what’s in store for Bonnie with this storyline and how her story might end. 

Before I jump into it I have it issue a few disclaimers:

1. I don’t actually watch TVD lol the only time I’ve ever even watched even part of a season was the beginning of season 6 and I barely lasted a few episodes. Everything I know is from talking to actual fans, independent research, and watching youtube clips of some scenes. I’m giving this disclaimer because not watching means I’m not 100% about all the mythology and what not so there is a chance I’m missing something or I have interpreted something wrong. 

2.I ship bonenzo and I don’t actually care about anything else but bonnie and bonenzo

3. This is purely conjecture so read at your own risk. I have zero faith in the TVD writers, however I like to think that Bonnie isn’t going to be the only person screwed over in the finale, so for the sake of my sanity I have to be optimistic. Basically none of this will happen, some if it will, or they might shock the hell out of all of us and almost all of it will happen. So again, read at your own risk. 

Now that that’s out of the way here’s my theory: 

Under the cut because of length

Here’s my basic theory: Enzo’s death triggered dormant physic powers in Bonnie, powers that she’s had since season 1 that she mistook for being a part of her magic so she never explored them further. Her psychic scream created a new dimension, much like what happened with Cade when he created his hell dimension. This makes Bonnie extremely powerful and the key to defeating Cade. Bonnie will actually be the hero in the end, saving them all from Cade and she will get her happy ending when she resurrects Enzo using her new abilities. Bonnie will also end the series immortal, but not as a vampire, so she will get her forever with Enzo. 

In season 1 Bonnie thought she was psychic when she could sense that Stefan had a darkness. This was never really explored further and she then discovered she was a witch so I’m assuming bonnie just assumed that what she sensed was a part of her witchy powers. But what if it wasn’t? (we know it was at the time since TVD writers have like ZERO real foresight but let’s just pretend that was never supposed to be the end of that for bonnie or that it was the end and they are now gonna retcon). Bonnie always having this ability but never actually coming into the totality of those abilities would explain why she all of a sudden has this immense and strange power. Bonnie having the ability to create a new dimension would also make sense based on her bennett line. The Other side, which was basically a purgatory like dimension for supernaturals was created by Qetsiyah, the original creator of immortality and Bonnie’s ancestor. Maybe these powers need to be triggered by something really powerful, which for Bonnie was Enzo dying. Bonnie showed a level of despair we had never seen from her before when she screamed over Enzo. Her despair was DEEP and her feelings of grief was intense. 

I’m sure people who don’t ship Bonnie and Enzo would roll their eyes at the thought that Enzo would be her trigger over other things like her grams dying, loosing her other family members, loosing her closest friends, even her own multiple brushes with death, but if you think about the place Bonnie has been in mentally this season and where Enzo’s death pushed her it makes sense why it would be his death that triggers her. Bonnie has experienced enough despair to last multiple lifetimes. Her pain over the course of the series has been immense. However, every time she’s lost someone she’s always managed to find something to hold on to. There has always been some sort of light at the end of the tunnel. The only time the feeling of loss and hopelessness has even been close to this level of unbearable was when she was trapped in the 1994 other dimension and being tormented by Kai and wanted to kill herself. Even after that she was able to come home and reclaim at least part of her life. 

However during her last brush with death last season we learned that a part of Bonnie has been slowly dying inside. She was so exhausted with death that she wanted to give up when she learned she was poisoned and all she wanted to do was spend her last moments happy instead of afraid an in despair, When she lost Enzo at the beginning of the season we saw Bonnie confess to Caroline that her feeling of loneliness is so profound that it makes her feel like she doesn’t want to live anymore. Of Course we know that she went on a mission to save Enzo from sybil and succeeded but that doesn’t mean that those feelings Bonnie felt went away. A part of why she has been living in the moment with Enzo so much this season is because she’s lost almost everything in her life, and has gradually been loosing herself because of it, and she wants to hold on to what she has, which is this pure love with enzo that finally gives her the future that she always wanted. She told her grams that she was this close to having the life that she always wanted. That hopefulness is crucial for someone who has experienced as much as bonnie has and who has the type of deep feelings she expressed earlier this season. It’s been the only thing besides Enzo’s love that’s been keeping her going at this point. That’s why this loss is so powerful for Bonnie. It’s the final straw in a long list of painful moments for her. She saw a future in front of her, one that was brighter than the dark and painful past she has lived. It was right at her fingertips and she fought so hard to hold on to it because after everything else had been stripped from her it was all she had left and then it was gone. In the blink of an eye her it was stolen from her. minutes before his death bonnie heard him tell her he loved her, they talked about their future, she had bought a house for them, finally after all the pain and suffering Bonnie Bennett was going to get her happy ending even if it wasn’t the absolute perfect happy ending. Then it was gone. We can debate if it was fair to bonnie to be in this position (it wasn’t) but that doesn’t negate the fact that her feelings are real and are actually common when you’ve lost as much as she has. 

So bonnie, in her despair basically triggers her latent powers and creates a new dimension, we can call this dimension “heaven”, since it fits with the idea of Cade’s dimension being hell. Now if I understand Cade’s situation right he created the hell dimension via the psychic scream, being the creator of this dimension makes him immortal, and he can pick which souls he wants to take. 

So bonnie has without knowing it created this new dimension, and that’s where Enzo is. Bonnie is going to be unaware of this tho. In the still for the next episode bonnie has taken enzo’s body to a woman, the woman appears to be a witch, which means bonnie is more than likely trying to resurrect enzo. This is why I believe she didn’t get her magic back and instead made a new dimension, if she had her magic she wouldn’t need an outside witch. So bonnie sets out of a mission to bring enzo back and thinks she has to use magic. 

So how does she figure out what she’s done? Enzo appears to her. She might think she’s hallucinating him or seeing his ghost. I read some bts tea that said MN was still filming for some of the upcoming episodes and is contractually going to be a part of more episodes to come. Enzo communicating with bonnie via her psychic powers would explain that. Initially she mistakes it for a hallucination but then realizes that it’s not, that she can actually communicate with Enzo. I read some spoilers that said Cade starts to take an interest in Bonnie. Her ability and power would explain that. Bonnie would slowly discover the truth and how she can use that to bring enzo back and save her friends from Cade, and Cade tries to stop her. 

Eventually Bonnie would learn the truth about what she is now and she will be able to harness that power to defeat cade and bring Enzo back. 

Part of her journey to discovery will be learning that she’s now immortal. There have been spoilers about a potential deadly situation coming up for the MF gang. Bonnie has been wearing a vile of Enzo’s blood around her neck just in case for a good portion of the season. I think Bonnie might end up on the brink of death again (you know the writers hate her so of course they would subject her to that shit again) but she doesn’t die even though she didn’t drink the blood. So she would put two and two together and discover that she’s immortal. Her immortality is important because she and enzo recently had a discussion about their future, she rejected the idea of turning but they had planned on being human together and growing old together. They were bummed out that they weren’t going to be able to have their dream because they needed to use the cure on Cade. If bonnie does control this dimension then she can bring Enzo back, and she will be immortal, so they can live immortal lives together and Bonnie doesn’t have to turn into a vampire to achieve that she she doesn’t loose a part of herself that was important to her just to be with Enzo. That’s Bonnie’s happy ending but unexpected ending, an immortal life with the man that she loves. 

Not how Elena’s curse fits into that I’m not sure. I think that her immortality via psychic dimension might be a potential loophole around the curse. Since from what I understand the loophole said there was no magical loophole then technically it would work since Bonnie’s immortality wasn’t technically achieved via magical means. Even if it’s not then Kai is coming back so maybe he undo the curse even though I hight doubt that. 

The only other option is that....Elena actually doesn’t wake up.....which I think actually works better with this theory than her actually waking up. 

Based on the bts stuff a lot of dead characters are going to appear in the final few episodes. Elena is going to have scenes with her deceased father John Gilbert. We know quite a few other dead characters make an appearance as well. I think this might be explained by Bonnie’s “heaven”. Bonnie’s dimension is a world where the people she loves....like Elena can be happy and at peace. I think that Damon might actually die in the finale and that’s how he gets his happy ending with Elena. They both are taken to Bonnie’s “heaven” where they can be with the rest of the people they love and be happy and at peace with each other together. They did something similar on TO with the mikaelson family this past season only it was an astral plane. Freya designed it and made this world where they can all be together and safe until Hayley can cure them and bring them back. Bonnie could in theory do the same with her “heaven”. Damon and Elena get to be reunited, and Bonnie gets peace knowing her two best friends are together again and her life is no longer linked to Elena. She brings Enzo back from the dead like Cade did Stefan when Caroline killed him and she gets her happy ending. It won’t be the perfect ending, since Damon, who she cares about a lot and Elena both die, but she gets to live knowing they are at peace, and she gets to be happy for the rest of her immortal life with Enzo. They travel together, they buy another house, they live their own lives, no longer having to sacrifice their happiness for other people, and no longer having to deal with the ideal of possibly being without each other later down the line. 

Elena actually “dying” could also explain why some of the characters who aren’t dead....like Jeremy, return to MF. They gang would actually give her and Damon a burial, and Jeremy would come home for that, as would some other people we haven’t seen on a while but are alive. They all say goodbye to Elena, and say goodbye to damon, then everyone is finally free to move on with their lives. Stefan gets to live his life with caroline and Bonnie gets to live her life with Enzo. 

I know it sounds too good to be true but I prefer to Hope for something like this at this point, since I really can’t handle the thought of Bonnie being miserable and alone while all of her friends get their happy ending. This is my theory and I’ll hold on to it for as long as I can lol 

[orionsangel86]

Cas ans Jack barely had scenes together in the first half of the season and now he is trapped in the AU world? When will they share scenes again? They clearly dont care about Cas as a character, sadly he only exist as a ship fodder on the show these days. Cas meeting with Claire and Jody? Not possible. Jack and Cas having a bond beyond lipservice? Not possible.

Hun I’m really sorry that you felt this way after the last episode. But I wholeheartedly disagree with you about Dabb and Co not caring about Cas as a character. He is not ship fodder. I absolutely hate that very concept and would take Cas being amazing and having a deep and meaningful arc over canon destiel any day. 

I have basically super dropped the ball on my reviews at the moment, and haven’t actually made any comments on tumblr at all about my 13x09 episode thoughts yet. So I will admit here that I am quite annoyed about Cas being pushed aside in the last episode. I don’t really understand the decision to lock him in a cage over the midseason story and for Wayward Sisters. Especially when Cas’s presence in Wayward Sisters would have only further encouraged viewership. Yet I guess they could argue that they didn’t want him pulling focus (which being Cas he would do regardless - he’s just that much adored by fandom). 

I remain quite baffled at how he has been dropped from these supposedly super important episodes right after a 6 episode run where the subtext, empty space, and basically TEXT at certain times was all about Cas. After all, our season opening song was literally “nothing else matters” being played over a sweeping shot of Cas’s dead body.

To address your specific points, I imagine the ship fodder thing comes from 13x06? The whole cowboy thing was rather excellent for fanfiction purposes. But I don’t think it was there entirely for ship fodder. If you strip away the destiel reading for the time being, what the writers are trying to tell the audience with this episode is that Castiel is so important to Dean that he can literally lift him up to a level of pure happiness just by his very presence. Castiel is the embodiment of happiness for Dean Winchester. That is what that episode told us (as well as the very obvious lack of Castiel in the previous 5 episodes where the entire focal point was to tell everyone that Cas’s death has broken Dean.) This isn’t about shipping fodder. Shipping fodder is comments like “last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid”. Shipping fodder is also a mixtape (though honestly I’d say it’s less fodder and more proof of canon romantic love but that’s just me.)

What episodes 1 - 6 has given us is NOT shipping fodder. It is 100% undeniable proof of Castiel’s importance in the show. It is this show going out of its way to tell us that without Castiel, at this point, Dean Winchester is a broken shell of a man. 

Also, if Cas was just shipping fodder, why would his fight for survival in 13x04 have been so freaking amazing and overwhelming and poignant and such a beautiful representation of overcoming depression? Castiel was made a phoenix in that episode. Reborn from the ashes of his own depression and terrible self hatred. I share your anger at his lack of screen time. Believe me I do. But Cas (and also Sam) often have character arcs that play out over a longer time period and with far less frequency than Dean’s. They often get overshadowed by Dean. 

I still have a lot of faith that they will come back to Cas and his own awesome story (which imo will continue to be a journey of faith in himself and his found family and to finally make peace with his own past). So I’m not gonna get super bitter about that just yet. 

As for your point about Jack being trapped in the au world, I don’t personally think that will last all that long. Yeah I can understand wanting Jack and Cas to be together and bond or whatever, but there is still a lot of ambiguity about what Jack is doing to Cas and others with his powers so I am less enthused by Cas taking on the daddy role just yet. In fact I am rather opposed to it. It makes me uncomfortable that he has had this satan child just thrust upon him. He didn’t ask for it, or want it, until the forced change of mind in 12x19 and now he’s just like “well I am responsible for this kid” and its just another thing for him to feel guilty about and yeah I’m side eyeing the whole daddy cas thing super hard. I don’t see how it is a good thing for his own development, so I’m not bothered that they have separated them (I would have just liked the Winchesters to have been shown trying to reach Cas in 13x09 when they found Jack though because not even having that mentioned that they tried to call him makes them seem idiotic and it was a major factor in me not enjoying the episode).

(I feel I need to add a disclaimer here that I love Jack as a character and find him extremely interesting as a mirror for TFW and a comment on the nature vs nurture theory and love that he is a baby bird who has somehow imprinted on Cas BUT I don’t LIKE the relationship he has with Cas because it hasn’t been built by natural means but rather supernatural means which makes me uncomfortable. I hope they build on this and we get some proper answers in the second half that’s for sure. Or I’ll be pissed.)

My response to your point about Claire is similar. Now I get super annoyed when Cas doesn’t get brought up in Claire episodes. It is one of my big pet peeves of the later seasons since Claire came back. I don’t need her to be asking after him all the time, but it would be nice if he was mentioned in the background, or in an off hand comment or something in a Claire ep. There have been Claire episodes in the middle of HUGE mytharc plots where terrible stuff has been happening to Cas off screen and the fact that the boys don’t bring him up, or Claire doesn’t seem to mention him irks me to no end. 

However I DO understand that they have a complicated history, and I DO understand that Claire needs to have her own story going forward and not be tied to Cas as a character. I don’t NEED Cas to be in Claire’s episodes, or in the Wayward Sisters episodes all the time. I don’t think that it is necessary for him to be a big part of that story at all, because they are going down completely different paths. HOWEVER I do think it is integral to Cas’s growth that he and Claire have a healthy relationship. Because they were only just beginning to build on that when we last saw them interact. I don’t need him there, I just need proof that they interact.

Also, because Cas now appears to have adopted two wayward children, I would like to think that his first adopted child at least fucking acknowledges him every now and again and actually HAS an ongoing relationship with him. I don’t need her calling him her father, but I do want it to be textual that she has forgiven him for Jimmy. I don’t consider that very complex and emotional story closed, and I think it is necessary. Especially since Cas haters still use it against him and us, as his fans. 

As far as Jody is concerned I guess they haven’t ever had any reason for them to interact so far. Jody has only really been part of the mytharc since the end of season 12. I have a feeling they probably will meet soon. So this doesn’t bother me. 

I guess you can say that whilst I don’t agree with you and your comments about Cas, I can understand where you are coming from and do understand your frustrations. They are also my frustrations, but I try not to let my own frustrations fester. I have faith in where they are taking Cas’s story. Sort of. I have a few gripes. If they get sorted out, I’ll be happy. I have been saying for a long time that Dabb is a huge Cas fan. Season 13 has not changed my mind about that at all.