#why do i torture hajime so?

[bonniepop]

title: of rumors & wrong assumptions parts: 1 / 2 / 3 character: iwaizumi hajime words: 1,800+ warnings: more violence towards oikawa's person. notes: i totally forgot to fill this up lmao

—

the following days at school were hell.

well, not really. but they felt like it.

“he keeps glaring at me,” you whimper, sitting across oikawa, trying to hide yourself by curling inward and having him shield you.

you were both hunched over your shared library desk, completing your partner lab report on your iodine clock experiment, two tables away from iwaizumi’s as his class settled on the other side of the library. oikawa had mentioned that they were working on their research for english.

truth be told, iwaizumi had been glaring at you since last week whenever you were with your lab partner in any capacity. whether you returned a greeting, asked a question, passed by him in the hallway, or simply just as looked in oikawa’s direction, iwaizumi’s glare was soon to follow. it was hard to miss the way his eyeballs practically singed the back of your skull in their endeavor.

“who?” oikawa looks over his shoulder. “oh, he’s not glaring. that’s just his normal face.” he wiggles his fingers at his best friend, who is clearly unamused. 

"you mean looking like he wants to kill me is normal?"

oikawa turns back to you. "i think the crease in between his eyebrows is genetic; his dad has it, too. but it looks good on him, doesn't it?"

gay, the voice in your head pipes up. instead of responding, iwaizumi simply narrows his eyes at oikawa for a second before looking back down at his own notes and proceeding with his work.

“so when he looks like he wants to kill me, that’s normal?” you ask, picking up the experiment manual and dragging it closer.

“yeah, but don’t take it personally.” oikawa smiles. “he looks at me that way all the time!” he returns to your work, peering over the experiment manual and copying the text unto a sheet of paper.

“you have really nice handwriting,” you comment after a few beats of silence, watching him neatly loop and cross and curve his characters.

“thanks,” he says with a smile. “when i was in middle school, my mom made it a point to train me and my sister in penmanship.”

“sounds like torture.”

“helps with volleyball,” he shrugs. “steady hands and all that.”

“you sound like you're making this up.”

"why on earth would i do that?" the volleyball player rolls his eyes. "anyway, real or no, it’s better than that thing you call handwriting,” he disparages, shooting your notes a pointed look. "what's worse than chicken scratch?"

“hey!” you snap, bundling your notes in your arms. “it is not that bad, and also, mind your own business. i make decent grades with this chicken scratch, you know!”

“i’m surprised our teachers can even read that.”

“oh, fuck off,” you say, giving him the finger. 

he laughs and changes the subject. “anyway, did you hear?” he leans in closer, raising an eyebrow. “people think we’re dating.”

you flush, but you can’t help the look of disgust that mars your features. “i know. it’s so gross.”

the teasing expression on his face falls and he straightens. “hey!” he cries, and some students around you turn their heads to look. “i’ll have you know that i am prime real estate!”

“shut up,” you hiss, yanking him down to divert attention. “first of all, you're not my type. second of all, you play volleyball, not baseball. baseball is clearly superior!"

"says you! i'd rather shine in a sport thanks to my sheer physical prowess, not because i'm good at hitting balls with sticks."

you shake your head. "you know, girls don’t like it when the guy’s ego is as big as the moon.”

“i’m just being honest,” he defends. “volleyball is the superior sport."

"i read somewhere that volleyball is just an extreme version of don't let the balloon touch the floor."

"then baseball is just hitting a piñata that's a moving target.”

“a more impressive set of conditions.”

“we're going nowhere," oikawa declares, waving the conversation away. what is your type, then?”

“not you,” you answer with a straight face.

“be serious!” he leans in conspiratorially. “i bet i know who your type is.”

you roll your eyes. “sure you do.”

he smirks. “it’s iwa-chan, isn’t it?”

your heart thunders in your chest and your belly flip flips around. “maybe,” you say, trying to play it cool. “or hanamaki. or matsukawa. anyone but you, really.”

he gapes then huffs, offended. he folds his arms over his chest. “you’re just saying that to get a rise out of me, and i won't fall for it.”

“i like guys who at least pretend to be humble about being good-looking.”

that makes him smirk. “so you think i’m good-looking?” he says a little louder, and you take your manual and smack his arm when you notice the students around you obviously trying to eavesdrop. “ow!”

“shut the fuck up,” you hiss.

oikawa scoffs as he rubs his arm, and you can feel the heat of iwaizumi’s familiar glare on the side of your head 

you chew on your bottom lip. “how’d you know, by the way?” 

“know what? that iwa-chan was your type?”

“no,” you insist, intent on changing the subject, because the embarrassment that you might’ve been obvious would’ve killed you. “that people think we’re—eugh—dating.”

he frowns. “hey. i’m not that bad a boyfriend.”

“didn’t your last girlfriend dump you?”

“i don't see why that's relevant,” he says stiffly, ignoring your jibe. “anyway, some of the lower year girls asked me if it was true,” he says, uncrossing his arms and pondering.

“oh my god, it spread.” you run a hand over your face. “what did you tell them?”

“i didn’t get a chance to answer. iwa-chan hit me in the head with a volleyball before i could.”

“what?” you nearly slam your hands on the table. “so people actually think we’re dating? why didn’t you answer?!”

“because they were bothering us during practice,” iwaizumi answers, suddenly standing next to your table, and you nearly launch yourself out of your seat in shock.

“iwa-chan!” oikawa greets, motioning for him to sit. the chair scrapes against the floor as the vice captain of the volleyball team takes a seat next to you, of all places. “have you met my lab partner?”

you’re too terrified and nervous to speak, but iwaizumi answers for you. “yeah," he grunts in agreement, then grunts out your name. “you’re a friend of tomo’s.”

you nod, words delayed. “yep. i’m a friend of tomo’s.”

“oooh, common friends,” oikawa teases, then jerks and smacks his knee beneath the table. people swivel their heads and chortle when they find the volleyball captain rubbing his leg beneath the desk, face scrunched up in pain. “ow! don’t hit me!”

“don’t be stupid,” iwaizumi grunts. he props his research materials on the table opens his notebook, silently getting to work.

you tap oikawa’s wrist with the pen in your hand as soon as his tears subside. “hey, keep writing!”

“would it kill you to say ‘please’?” he grumbles, pulling the report close and continuing. you work in relative silence, dictating notes for him to include in the report and answering any questions about values and measurements.

you completely forget that iwaizumi's even there, until he sighs and puts down his pen. he cracks his neck and stretches.

“you okay, iwa-chan?” oikawa asks.

“yeah,” he responds, voice low and raspy and it sounds so good that you bite back a whimper. “english is hard.”

you purse your lips in thought. would it be presumptuous of you to help? but maybe you could be useful, and if he really needed help… it might also make him like you more, and lessen all the glaring whenever you were within five feet of his best friend…

“um, can i see?” you decide to ask, and with a nod he slides his notes over to you. “what’s this?”

“translation,” iwaizumi responds gruffly. “can’t figure out what this word means in this sentence. doesn’t it mean the direction, as in 'turn left'?”

after a few scans, you nod, finally understanding. “ah, yes, but here,, ‘left’ is the past tense of ‘leave.’ like, when someone forgets something or leaves something behind.” with your pen, you point out words. "see here? 'she left her phone.'"

iwaizumi looks sort of scandalized. “what?”

“yeah, here, look—”

unbeknownst to you, oikawa’s watching as you explain it, taking in the way his friend leans forward and the extra attention he’s devoting to you as you speak. 

iwaizumi shakes his head. “so ‘left’ means the direction," he motions with his hand, "but also the past tense of 'leave'?” he flips back on his notes. "past tense, past tense... ah, verbs that have already happened?"

“yeah,” you explain. “most english words have their past tenses end in 'd', but irregular verbs—like this one here—they don't follow that rule.”

the captain lights up. “you speak english? you’re not in the english class.”

“um, yeah.” you blush, pulling back and straightening. “my, uh, my grandparents lived in america for a time, so i kinda learned from them.”

a disturbing smile spreads across oikawa's face. “fascinating," he says, sounding not unlike a snake with a plan. "maybe you can help iwa-chan here,” he says with that weird, slimy smile, reaching across the table to pat his friend’s arm. “he’s studying to take a the college entrance exams in the states! he’s not that smart at english, so you should help him!”

said friend was looking at the hand with disgust, which made your lip twitch. “don’t touch me,” he spits.

“aww, iwa, it’s okay. she knows you can be nice to me! you don’t have to hide your true self.” oikawa suddenly jumps away in fear when the wing spiker flexes for a punch, and you hide your snort behind your hands. 

oikawa whimpers, pathetically collecting the papers in front of him. “you two are mean! you deserve each other.��

iwaizumi flushes and glares. “hey. don’t be like that.” he turns to you. “sorry, he’s really inconsiderate about people’s feelings.”

you blink in surprise and raise your hands up in surrender. “no, it’s okay! no, ah, no feelings hurt here. he’s been annoying me all afternoon, so. yeah.” 

confusion makes itself known on iwaizumi's face. “annoying you? aren’t you… you know... um—”

your belly twists unpleasantly, and you force a laugh to hide your embarrassment. “oh, the, uh. the rumor.” you shake your head. “no, we’re not… that.”

when the laugh isn’t returned, you blush and clear your throat, looking down at your chicken scratch in embarrassment.

"oh. but i thought..." he trails off, and you shake your head without looking at him.

a few seconds later, he clears his throat to cut the awkward silence. "okawa, may i speak to you for a moment?” iwaizumi goes, already getting up.

oikawa's tongue is poking out the corner of his mouth as he concentrates on his notes. “wait, i'll just finish—”

“now,” iwaizumi bites out, grabbing his captain by the collar. he looks at you and bows. “give us one second.”

your lab partner is dragged away, and you can hear the mumbles of the students around you. you slump over in your seat. not again.

[plutoccult]

NO ME QUEDA MAS

pairing: hajime iwaizumi x female reader

description: iwaizumi’s wedding day was a day you dreaded for many years. now that the day had finally come, you regret never telling him how you feel.

word count: 1.6k

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: finally, a new theme! i’m on an angst GRIND, you guys. been feeling really unhinged lately thanks to my girl @intorder for giving me fuel for angst, who also beta read this hurt piece. oddly enough, my life has been pretty good lately, so idk why i thought to write this. i’ve never written for iwaizumi before, but he came to mind first when i thought of this idea. this was definitely inspired by that one scene in 13 going on 30, but i made it hurt even more. i hope i did iwaizumi justice, and i hope you all enjoy without crying?

tags: @toorubobatea @intorder @dragon-slayer5 @jeanboyjean @femme-lune @darthferbert @kob3nie @thelazyhuevito @multi-fandom-fanfic @sterieshinso @kiiyomei @chrybdcsm @alienlatteinspace @abonbonblr @luverofutoshi @p3ritwinkle @juuzou13

taglist form here

“well? how do i look?”

iwaizumi turned around to face you as he showed off his suit. you couldn’t believe he was actually getting married today, and that the person he was marrying wasn’t you. it was hellish to shove your feelings down your throat for decades, especially when your friendship suffered god knows how many miles apart.

a part of you died the day he returned from california. you were so thrilled to see him, missing him so, but your heart shattered the second you saw he brought a girl with him. it was even worse when iwaizumi spoke to you about her, saying he felt like he knew she was the girl he would marry the second he saw her. you wanted to be that girl, and maybe you could’ve if you simply spoke up. after all, everyone always teased you two about ending up together growing up.

“you look great, iwa.” you force a smile. it wasn’t a lie, he was the most handsome man you’d ever seen, standing so proud and tall in his suit. not a single scratch or crease on his shoes nor any signs of wear in his jacket. as much as it pained you to see it, iwaizumi had grown up.

“you think so?” he asked, checking himself out in the mirror, scanning for any flaws in his outfit. “i could’ve sworn i saw lint on the back of my jacket.”

“oh, i can get it.” you offer. iwaizumi immediately said “yes, please” and “thank you” before you stood up to help him. his back faced you, shoulders as strong as ever, making this all the more difficult for you. if you were his bride, you probably wouldn’t be seeing him like this right now. it was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, after all.

“how come your groomsmen aren’t up here helping you?” you ask, cursing yourself in your head for being so nosy.

“i’m sure you can understand i didn’t want oikawa up my ass before i go down there.” iwaizumi chuckled. you force yourself to copy his laughter, pretending as if you found this so hilarious. if oikawa were here, you wouldn’t be ridden with temptation right now. only he could stop you from saying things you knew you’d regret.

“i guess i should feel special then, huh?” you question. “be the first to see you like this…”

“mhm.” he replied, you see him nod in the mirror. “special privileges for my best friend.”

you felt your stomach tie up in knots as he said that. best friend. that’s all you were, that’s all you ever allowed yourself to be. it could’ve been you waiting for him at the altar, but instead you’re helping him get prepared to marry another woman, ready to beg him to run away with you.

you pretend to inspect the back of his jacket, knowing there wasn’t any lint anyway. it was absolutely flawless, just like him. this was torture for you, and you couldn’t stand another second longer.

“listen, iwa…” you begin to say. “i should tell you something before you go down there.”

“oh?” iwaizumi turned around to face you. you felt as if his eyes were piercing through your soul, making your heart race faster than it was before. “what is it?”

“i, um…” you hesitate. was it too late to go back? yes, yes it was. “i think you’re marrying the wrong girl today.”

“huh?” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“i mean, i think you should be marrying me instead.” you blurt out.

“y/n, what are you talking about?” iwaizumi questioned. this couldn’t be real, this couldn’t be happening right as he was about to get married.

“i’m in love with you, iwa. i love you.” you admit, your heart racing upon your confession. you should feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders, but something heavy still lingered on top of you.

“no…” he shook his head. iwaizumi had rejected the possibility a long time ago. even if he loved you just as long as you loved him, you were just too late.

“yes. i am.” you say.

“you’re saying this now?” he asked you. it almost made him want to laugh. life was just so funny, he thought to himself. why couldn’t you have said this before? why did you wait until he was about to get married? if things were different, iwaizumi would be reacting to this much differently right now.

“i know i should’ve told you before you went to california—“

“should’ve? i wanted you to!” iwaizumi interrupted you, much to your shock. “everyone said you were going to before i left! i just figured they were just messing with me afterwards…”

you remember telling oikawa how you felt about iwaizumi, it was his idea to tell him before iwaizumi left for california. you had it all planned out in your head, but as you stood there at the airport, you couldn’t find the words anymore. you chickened out, cursing yourself on the way home and the days that would come. it only made you feel worse when iwaizumi found someone.

what you didn’t know was that he expected your confession that day. you should’ve known oikawa would run his mouth. he always meant well, always hoping you’d end up with iwaizumi, but look at you now, a delusional fool.

“i was going to, iwa. i just got scared…” you confess to him. “if i could go back to that day, i’d do it differently.”

“well, you can’t turn back time, y/n. it’s too late.” he said coldly, almost like a stab to the heart.

“why not?” you ask, desperately clinging onto your delusions.

“i moved on.” iwaizumi replied. he might as well be twisting a knife, even if he was merely speaking the truth. “we've both gone down different paths, we both made choices, and this is what i’m choosing.”

“i just thought…” you began to say, but fall silent.

“just thought what?” he asked, raising his voice. “that i’d give up everything i’ve built for a last minute confession? one that i gave up on waiting for years ago?”

you don’t say anything. what was there to say? it was exactly what that sick part of you deep down expected. how stupid of you to think he would drop everything just because you finally had the courage to confess your feelings. if there wasn’t a whole wedding waiting to happen, maybe iwaizumi would change his mind.

you look away in shame. even if you didn’t speak your thoughts aloud, you still felt disgusted now that the reality of your confession hit you. you were terrible to think this way. not just a terrible person, but a terrible friend too. it was unfair to expect such a tall order out of him, especially now.

“my family’s down there, my soon-to-be in-law’s are down there.” iwaizumi said. “we care about each other, you know?”

“i know.” you say quietly as you bite your lip.

“y/n, you…” he let out a sigh. “you don't always get the dream house… but you get awfully close.”

you look up to meet his eyes, tears streaming down your face. to him, you were always the dream house. if only you had known that before, you thought. iwaizumi felt ridden with guilt rejecting you like this, and it didn’t help that you were crying your eyes out.

“please don't cry, y/n.” he begged you.

“what? no, i'll be fine, i promise.” you force out a laugh, no matter how much it killed you. you saw the look in iwaizumi’s eyes. he knew you weren’t truly okay, but he also knew that you were letting him go. it was the right thing to do.

“y/n…”

“it’s okay. i'm fine.” you wipe away your tears, trying your best to be strong. “i'm just crying because i'm happy. i want you to be so, so happy.”

you did, you wanted him to be happy. even if it wasn’t with you, you owed him the ability to be happy. it was the least you could do while you still had some of your dignity left.

“i love you, iwa.” you barely get the words out. “you… you're my best friend.”

you see iwaizumi’s eyes well up with tears, a rare sight to see. only you could produce such a reaction out of him. only you would truly have his heart forever, but life doesn’t always work out the way you want it to. it was just the way things go.

“i should go. everybody’s waiting for you.” you say, on your way out the door.

“y/n, i...” you stop in your tracks, waiting for what he’d say next, and it only crushed you even more. “i've always loved you.”

overwhelmed, you walk out of the room in tears, ready to bolt out of the venue without another thought. oikawa found you on your way out, asking what was wrong and where you were going, but when he saw mascara running down your face, he knew exactly what happened, and he knew he should’ve been there to stop it.

you insist to oikawa that he tell iwaizumi you were sorry before you finally left the venue. you couldn’t stand to be there a second longer, you just had to get out of here. as you head to your car, you hear the beginning of the wedding march play. the sound brought you to your knees as you violently sobbed. if this was rock bottom, then you finally reached it.

as much as you wanted to cry there forever, you force yourself to get up, finally finding the strength to get into your car. you didn’t know where you were headed, but you knew you had to drive off somewhere far away from here. if only you could just turn back time.

© plutoccult / 310802. please do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my content in or outside of tumblr. reblogs are appreciated <3

[theamityelf]

"I think I like the story better if I'm not Hajime," Izuru says late one night.

They're in bed. Makoto's bed. Makoto's dorm. His head is on Makoto's chest, and Makoto's hand is slightly tangled in his hair. "Hm?" Makoto hums.

"I think I feel better about the story if I'm not Hajime. It feels nicer if Hajime is the idiot who left you and I'm the one who came to replace him. The better one."

Makoto is silent for a while before he quietly says, "I think...not wanting to be Hajime makes you more like him than ever." He sounds as if his throat has tightened. "It was kind of his biggest problem."

"Maybe. But if I were Hajime, then you shouldn't be holding me. He doesn't deserve your affection, after he abandoned you."

"Please stop saying that."

Izuru smells salt and quickly sits up, brushing away the tears on Makoto's cheeks. But he can't help adding, "How could I want to be someone who hurt you this badly?"

"It's not your fault. What Hope's Peak did to you wasn't okay. It wasn't right. You didn't know it would be...the way it was. And no one was there for you when it happened."

Caressing Makoto's face with his palm, Izuru sighs, "It doesn't feel like anger at myself, when I say that you forgive him too easily."

"Well, I guess that part is good; I don't want you to be angry with yourself. Especially not over something that was done to you."

"It was done to him to make me. And I'm glad. I'm better than him."

"Can I ask you not to insult my boyfriend, please?" Makoto says firmly.

Izuru subsides, cuddling into his chest again. "I've been insensitive."

"No. You've just been...honest. About how you feel."

"And how do you feel?"

"That doesn't matter."

Izuru turns his head. "Repeat that."

"I just mean...We're talking about your identity. I'm not trying to ask you to be Hajime for my sake if you don't want to be."

"I'm asking how you feel."

Makoto is stroking his hair again, soothing him, as he sits on his answer for longer than he needs to. Finally, he whispers, "The story feels better if Hajime came back for me. But if loving you means loving a new person who isn't Hajime, I can do that. I do love you, I mean."

"As much as you loved him?"

"That's not...I don't see things like that. My heart doesn't measure things that way."

Izuru nearly argues that that can't be true, for if Makoto is dating him and not Togami, then he must have some manner by which his heart measures how much it feels for someone relative to someone else. But he doesn't say it. Makoto isn't lying to him, so one of them must be missing something. Either way, pursuing the matter now might hurt him again.

"I love you," Makoto continues, "and I love Hajime. And I love you for your differences as much as your similarities."

"Is that comfortable for you? Loving us both?"

"Love isn't always comfortable."

The truism, the non-specificity of it, suggests an unwillingness to engage the question on a personal level. "Do you think you will ever be ready to grieve him?"

"I don't think he's dead. He became you- a different person who I also love."

"Sunk cost fallacy."

"What does that mean?"

He contemplates not answering but finds that he has a perverse need for this point to be understood. "It means you wouldn't love me if you hadn't loved him. You feel you have to love me because you loved him."

"Why are you torturing yourself about this?"

"Because Hinata didn't deserve you when he had you and deserved you less when he left you." It feels better to use his surname, to eschew familiarity. "How could he leave you?"

The hand continues stroking his hair. "Hajime didn't do anything wrong. He was exploited by the school. And you never asked for any of this. I'm not mad at either of you, and I don't want you to be either."

Izuru relaxes, slowly. "Then the school is the one that made you cry." He considers that. It might be romantic to find some way to punish the ones who killed Hinata, for Makoto's sake. Though Izuru is still glad that Hinata is gone and he is here, maybe Makoto would feel a sense of closure if something befell the ones who caused it. Maybe...

Makoto's voice pulls him back from deep internal deliberations of the most romantic way to visit revenge on the murderers of the ex-boyfriend of one's boyfriend.

"We'll figure things out together, okay? I'm glad you spoke up about not wanting to be called Hajime. And even if Hajime...didn't come back for me..." (The tightness in his throat again.) "...you brought me whatever parts of him still exist."

The suggestion that he has provided something valuable causes Izuru to purr. Though the hair-stroking plays a role in that, too. "I don't always not want you to call me Hajime," he finds himself saying. "Sometimes I like it."

There is a slight change in Makoto's heart rate. "O-Okay. Then, just let me know when your preferences change."

He's gotten Makoto's hopes up, again. Which seems like a correct or at least fitting thing for an Ultimate Hope to do- as he told himself frequently, back when he was using Hinata's name to keep Makoto close -but he hopes it doesn't lead to more sadness.

Izuru isn't the same person as the talentless who Makoto used to love. But sometimes he feels enough like a product of him, an updated software to the buggy original program, that the name feels right for him. And sometimes the name remains wrong but the act of obfuscating this feels like a more apt, more satisfying solution to the problem of Hinata- a way to be everything to Makoto, everything he needs. And sometimes there's a degree of schadenfreude- an answer to his resentment of the one who made Makoto unhappy and still hoards some fraction of his love -to wearing his name around like a trophy. A spoil. The pelt of a slain creature.

But Makoto probably wouldn't think him capable of the third feeling. The second one might cross his mind, but first one, the one where he is Hajime just a little, will be the interpretation he most wants to default to.

Izuru listens to the way Makoto's breathing slows as he falls asleep, the hand in his hair gradually stilling. Hinata didn't sleep with Makoto like this. Didn't get to appreciate the soft sound of Makoto's breathing, the gentle thrum of his heartbeat under his face. According to Makoto, Hinata slept over very rarely, and Hinata was too awkward to cuddle.

This space where he rests his head, where he feels Makoto's heart as acutely as the touch of a hand, is his space. Only his.

"I love you," he whispers. And because Makoto is asleep, he allows himself to add, "More than he did."

Because he would never leave.

[causeitsagame]

SECOND/FOLLOWUP PROMPT. In case of capture, the former Remnants would be questioned about where Izuru is and where the rest of the remnants are, which of course, no one wants to reveal. Fuyuhiko lets himself get captured, because a) his pain tolerance is super high, b) he's been trained to deal with torture, c) Hajime is not being made into a lab rat AGAIN and Fuyuhiko needs to make sure of that, even if it means a world of pain. Angsty mood today! Have fun at the gardens! -xoxo hajihiko

(Torture warning, etc etc. NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED IT FROM THE PROMPT)

"Put his hand flat on the table."

Unimpressed, Fuyuhiko spread his hand flat before any of the special operatives in the interrogation chamber could force the matter. "Are we doing something with the fingernails, or lopping pieces off?"

For an answer, the officer overseeing matters lifted a broad, heavy knife.

"Sure thing," Fuyuhiko said. "Hey, Knife. Mind if I ask a favor?"

Knife grimaced at the nickname. "You've got some nerve, Remnant, to dare to ask for any mercy after what you've done to the world."

"No mercy. I'm just hoping that you can start here," Fuyuhiko said, and swapped which hand was on the table. He wiggled the new hand's pinky. "See the scar, there?"

"Yes. What of it?"

"I had that cut done when I was little. It showed me what I might be ordering on some asshole who let me down, y'know?" In the silence, Fuyuhiko wiggled the finger again and continued, "It feels like a half-finished job. So, mind starting there?"

Knife looked at his companions with a flat, irritated expression.

"It probably doesn't make much sense to start with something he's been trained to tolerate since childhood," mused Red, and ran a hand through his messy copper hair.

"Fuck it, let's do the fingernails," sighed Stain, who must have been in a rush eating lunch.

"Whatever," Fuyuhiko said airily, and met and held Knife's gaze. "You getting started any time soon, or what?"

"The man knows what he wants," Knife calmly replied, and put away his knife in a locked case. When he returned, his hands instead held thin but wickedly sharp bamboo skewers and a rubber mallet.

Well, this was gonna fuckin' suck.

"I see you understand what's about to happen to you," Knife said in the same smooth, level tones. "I want to see if you understand how it can be avoided."

Fuyuhiko held his gaze. "You'd better remind me."

"We brought down your aircraft after it attacked one of our vessels. We didn't have piloting skills or missile targeting in your dossier, suggesting that it was on autopilot."

"Yeah," Fuyuhiko freely admitted. This wasn't anything he needed to hide, and maybe they'd think twice about going after the others. "Kazuichi had a hell of a program in that thing. It was fun to watch it work."

"And while you were holding our attention, the rest of the Remnants vanished. Where?"

"You said it yourself: I'm holding your attention, dumbfucks." Fuyuhiko grinned lopsidedly. His head already felt fuzzy and distant as he prepared himself for the agony to come. "Why would I tell you where they went, now?"

He didn't actually know where his friends had gone, but it was best if these assholes thought he did. There'd be more pain, that way.

"Very well," Knife said, and motioned for his companions to hold Fuyuhiko in place. "Just remember: you know how to make this stop at any time."

Nodding, Fuyuhiko tensed his core muscles in anticipation. They'd really have to work to get screams out of him. As the first skewer was lifted, he pictured sobbing faces on Jabberwock pleading for him not to go. The mallet struck, and the memory exploded into raw agony and loud, screeching static.

Fuyuhiko gritted his teeth and threw back his head as black-and-white nothing scoured through him. All thought cut out momentarily like a broken television channel. But he hadn't screamed.

Knife waited a few seconds longer, nodded, and reached for the second skewer.

This time, Fuyuhiko pictured Sonia. She actually knew how to operate heavy machinery, she'd argued. She might be able to put up more of a fight before they caught her. But she wasn't trained for what came after, not like him. That was so inarguable that it'd stopped her in her tracks, and soft, frustrated crying served as her good-bye.

The mallet struck again, and Sonia also exploded into static.

Ten fingers equaled ten memories to hold onto before the mallet hit. As Fuyuhiko was thrown physically into his holding cell, having to catch himself with bleeding, raw fingertips, he was proud of himself for not mentioning a single one of those memories to the interrogators. The hardest part was over, now.

Three hours into sleep, a jolt of music woke him. Whatever godawful song they'd picked, the volume was loud enough to thrum through the metal walls and flooring like an approaching earthquake. Sleep deprivation. A classic, and not a bad technique to try against most people.

But most people hadn't dealt with Ibuki Mioda's discography for years on end.

Fuyuhiko moved his pillow so it looked like he was trying to block the noise. In actuality, he wanted to hide his face. On future nights, they'd surely crank the volume to a level that even he couldn't tolerate, but for now, he wanted to hide the fact that he could still sleep.

The next day brought electricity. "Not very good at this, are you?" Fuyuhiko coughed after Stain slammed a fist against his chest, and he felt his heart's irregular rhythm steady out. "Don't get it that close to my heart, dumbass."

"Noted. You're the torture expert, after all," Knife levelly agreed.

"Huh. Yeah, you guys aren't supposed to do this kinda stuff, are ya?" Fuyuhiko wondered. His smile up at Knife was knowing, hungry. "Or is that what 'good' does, now?"

Knife's hand flexed around the sparking wire it held. "Officially, you should be put on trial. But unofficially, we shot your plane down and killed you. You have zero advocates who will argue otherwise, and an entire planet full of people who won't care what we had to do to find the rest of the Remnants. Talk."

"I'm not gonna be able to talk if you stop my heart again."

"True," Knife airily agreed, and gestured at one of Fuyuhiko's mangled hands. Red obligingly poured water over the raw, bloody tips, and left enough on the table to form a small puddle under them. "We'll keep the flow well away from your chest, now."

This was gonna fuckin' suck, too.

Fuyuhiko clenched his jaw as he remembered Peko grimly accepting his plan. She'd been the one who held onto Hajime, and kept him from coming after the plane. While Hajime could easily have thrown her off, seeing Peko of all people accepting Fuyuhiko's imminent capture and torture broke through his outrage. This is how it has to be, Peko's agonized expression said. Respect his decision. He's made it. He understands.

The wire touched his mutilated flesh, and memory again exploded into agonized static.

After a week of pain, it was time for another conversation. "You don't have to tell us right where the other Remnants went," Knife said in a disturbingly friendly voice. "If you can point out some past hideouts they might use, we can send people to look for clues. Why not think about that as option? You wouldn't be selling them out, but we'd count that as cooperation."

"...Catacombs beneath Paris," Fuyuhiko said with feigned reluctance. That meant nothing to them, now, but Mikan and Gundham had used them like a biohazard stockpile before three generations of deliberately infected vermin exploded onto the city streets. There'd be all sorts of evidence for these assholes to dig through, and ideally, some leftover rats to gnaw on them while they did.

(And more importantly, there was absolutely no way the Remnants had fled to Paris.)

Four days later, Fuyuhiko awoke to Knife backhanding him. "Not Paris," Knife said. His eyes glinted in the darkness. "Give us a better suggestion."

Fuck. Fuyuhiko should have been awake for that. That jolt of pain was a missed opportunity. "Can't seem to remember anywhere else," he said, and wiped away blood from the lip Knife had split. "You'll have to help me remember."

"…Very well."

And so the pain began again. What memories Fuyuhiko had of love and friendship exploded into agonized static, over and over and over.

But each night when they threw his increasingly battered form back into his cell, Fuyuhiko smiled. He'd done it. He'd held their attention. And since they hadn't broken him right at the beginning, that meant that he'd won.

When he was younger, his father had taught him a very useful technique. It was one thing to simply suppress knowledge, his father explained. With tremendous pain tolerance, as men like them must develop, even the most valuable knowledge could be protected until help arrived.

What if help would not arrive in time, though? What if the knowledge would cause great harm if it could actually be carved out of them and handed to their enemies? Then, Fuyuhiko's father explained, they must go a step further. They must turn their enemies' own attempts at torture against them.

With tremendous self-control and dedicated practice, sufficient amounts of pain could be used to rewire memories. His father explained that when he'd been tortured, he pictured the shifting glint of sunlight on their backyard pond. So much pain running through him took his mind to its absolute capacity. Picturing something else—instead of the demanded information—let his brain latch onto that replacement image, instead.

Instead of pushing the memories down into some hidden safebox, enough pain could be used to scour them clean. It took enormous practice with controlling one's thoughts, and even more with suppressing pain, but dangerous knowledge could be treated like mere tinder: set alight. Abandoned. Destroyed.

Fuyuhiko had tried picturing sunlight on water, as his father had, but that hadn't worked for him. He'd found success with picturing television static, instead. And now, each time Knife and his crew tried to torture him, they were helping him to burn away another memory that was too dangerous to hold onto.

Staring up at the ceiling, Fuyuhiko did wonder where all those people had gone. It was good that he didn't know. They'd stay safe, this way.

He didn't remember much about the group, any more.

But he must have really cared about them.

[bakugokemkatsuki]

Fangirls

Iwaizumi Hajime X Reader

Oikawa Toru X Reader (Platonic)

**Genre: Angstish/ Fluff???

**Warning(s): bullying

**Reader is Fem/GN (ish)

**Key: Talking; You, Iwaizumi

You’d been in the same class as Oikawa since middle school. You two were polar opposites in every way. You were introverted and pessimistic while Oikawa was extraverted and optimistic . You were always dressed in black, while Oikawa was very colorful. He was athletic and you were not. Anything you two could be opposites about you were. So how did you ever end up friends with him? Well let’s just say you were sure your teachers absolutely loved torturing you. It all started back in middle school with you two being paired together for a project. It didn’t stop there though, it seemed after that your teachers were always finding a reason to have you two work together. This little thing carried over into high school. Now after being paired together so much you were bound to become friends. You ended up really liking his company and you realized there was way more to him than just his pretty setter “fame”. Now being friends with Oikawa meant Iwaizumi as well. They were a package deal. Now though you and Iwaizumi had more in common then you and Oikawa (i.e. you both liked the same music, similar movies, and had similar color palettes for dressing) you two were still pretty close to opposites. The three of you were really close and you quite liked hanging out with them. Having weekend movie marathons at Oikawa’s house binging the Godzilla movies or Alien Documentaries were some of your favorite memories. You though not one to care much about sports found yourself at there games more and more until you were always there at every game. You quite enjoyed seeing them two play the chemistry on the court was phenomenal and way different from them normally. Now what most people didn’t realize was just how hard being friends with them was. Why? Well once you guys hit high school Oikawa had fans popping up left and right. By second year he had a whole fan club. He quite liked his fans but he never saw the dark side. You were normally bullied not a lot but some back in middle school for being weird, dark, different. Now though, his fan girls were ruthless. It started small but when you seemed unbothered it quickly became physical. They’re push you or shove you or trip you just because you were friends with Oikawa. They would constantly harass you. It was getting really bad, but you didn’t want to ruin your friend’s happiness so you stuck it out. Until one day… The girls had caught you on your way to the gym and like usual were braiding you about why you’re not good enough to be around Oikawa. As you tried to walk past one girl shoved you and when you didn’t fall a second girl shoved you again causing you to fall. While they did this they continued hurling insults until they heard a voice. “Get out of here now and leave her the HELL alone.” Terrified the girls fled without another word. You sat there looking down at the ground. “Please don’t tell him.” Iwaizumi offered you his hand helping you up. “Why? You don’t deserve that.” “He deserves to be happy.” Frustration lacked in Iwaizumi’s voice as he said “So do you. He deserves to know.”After a bit more arguing you agree to tell Oikawa everything. You two stood there looking at each other in since when Iwaizumi finally spoke again. “Um… by the way, what they said… you know it’s not true right. You’re the most beautiful person I know.” “Iwa… I can I be honest?” “Sure.” “I don’t want to ruin our friendship dynamic but I have feelings for you.” “Really?” “Yes. I know a lot of people were expecting me to fall for ‘Shittykawa’ but it’s you.” “Funny enough… I like you too.” You two ended up starting to date not long after that and Oikawa did not take the news well. “WHAT MY BEST FRIENDS ARE DATING NOW I HAVE TO THIRD WHEEL ALL OUR HANG OUTS!!”Though he wined a lot he was the most supportive of the relationship and thought how he couldn’t wait to be the best man at your wedding someday. He was happy for the two of you because you both deserve the world.

[sparkymalone]

Hajime: Fuyuhiko, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Fuyuhiko, naked in Hajime's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Hajime, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

Now THIS is a prompt I can sink my teeth into! (⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)

Hajime froze in his tracks, staring, bewildered, at the sight before him. The beautiful, lean figure sprawled naked across his bed was gazing back at him, one fierce golden eye dark with lust.

He furrowed his brow in confusion, questioning the reality of this situation. That certainly looked like Fuyuhiko laying in his bed, but that couldn't be true. Not after their agreement.

The two of them had been so close for so long, it was hardly surprising that feelings began to develop between them. But with things the way they were, with the world presumably in shambles and their friends in various states of mental and physical trauma, they had agreed that this wasn't the right time to explore those feelings. Once they established some type of normalcy, then they could try again.

For weeks after admitting that there was something between them, the two young men had managed to keep up appearances. They treated each other normally and didn't show any signs of romantic or sexual interest. The situation wasn't ideal, but it was fine.

Behind closed doors was another story entirely. Hajime couldn't deny the way his heart longed for Fuyuhiko. Spending time with him was sweet torture, and he frequently had to excuse himself to his cottage to calm his racing heart, or, in the very worst cases, to deal with his physical desire. But he was determined not to break their agreement.

Fuyuhiko always seemed to be handling the situation better than Hajime. That wasn't too surprising, really, since the yakuza heir had so much self-control. Still, Hajime always felt conflicted when it seemed like Fuyuhiko wasn't bothered by the distance between them at all. He was still dedicated to keeping up their agreement, of course, he just wished that Fuyuhiko was having as hard a time as he was.

And so Hajime had no idea how to feel about the scene in front of him. He had just walked into his cottage after a very long day, and here was the object of his affection, naked in his bed despite being supposedly off-limits.

He realized that he had been silent for far too long and cleared his throat. “What… What are you doing here?” he finally asked quietly.

Fuyuhiko was watching him carefully from where he lay, spread out on top of Hajime's sheets. “Waiting for you,” he replied, as though that explained anything.

Hajime allowed his eyes to trail down the other man's body, taking in every scar and freckle, determined to commit the image to memory regardless of how this ended. “Okay, but… why?”

The blonde stretched languidly, arching his back in a very deliberate way, clearly pleased with the way Hajime was looking at him. “That's a stupid question.”

Frowning, the taller man met his eye. “No, it's not. We had an agreement, didn't we?”

Fuyuhiko turned onto his side, propping his head on his hand. “Did we?”

Hajime was getting thoroughly frustrated now. “Yeah. We agreed not to do anything like this.” Fuyuhiko started to respond, but Hajime continued, cutting him off. “We agreed that we were better off as friends… right?”

The blonde scowled at him. “I don't remember agreeing to anything like that.”

Bewildered, Hajime crossed his arms over his chest. “What? We had a whole conversation-”

“I remember agreeing that that wasn't the right time for us to be together,” Fuyuhiko interrupted. “We agreed that we were going to figure our shit out later, when we were less stressed. Well, guess what? We're never going to be less stressed.” He sat up, still maintaining eye contact. “But you know what helps with stress? Having someone who loves and cares about you. Having someone to kiss and hold and fuck when it all gets to be too much. That's what I want. And I think it's what you want, too.”

Hajime stared back silently, not sure how to respond to that. Having someone there for him sounded wonderful, honestly. And if that someone was Fuyuhiko, well…

“So, no,” the yakuza heir continued, “I absolutely do not remember agreeing that we were better off as friends. Now get your fucking clothes off and get over here.”

It only took a moment for Hajime to make up his mind. He quickly began shedding his clothing as he made his way towards the bed. He leaned one knee on the mattress as he moved forward, crashing his mouth into Fuyuhiko's, swallowing the other man's pleased moan. He tossed the last of his clothes off and climbed fully onto the bed.

Fuyuhiko's legs folded around Hajime's waist, pulling their bodies flush together. Hands and mouths roamed freely, finally exploring each other's bodies the way they had wanted to for so long. When Hajime finally sank himself inside of Fuyuhiko, it felt like exactly what he had been missing.

Afterwards, when they were laying together, sweaty and tired and spent, Fuyuhiko smirked up at his lover. “Still think we're better off as ‘just friends?’”

Hajime laughed softly, nuzzling into the other man's hair. “No. No, I don't.”

(But I think the prompt was meant to be more lighthearted than that?? Let me try again.)

It was the first day back from summer break and Hajime already knew he was doomed.

He caught Fuyuhiko's eye across the courtyard and the blonde raised an eyebrow at him, and Hajime felt his resolve crumble.

The two of them had spent a very long time insisting that there was nothing between them, that they were just really good friends. No one bought it, of course, least of all the two of them, but they both stuck to their story.

Until summer break. Somehow, one of them had started up a very inappropriate text conversation while Fuyuhiko was on vacation with his family, and they had spent basically the whole break flirting and borderline sexting. Hajime had even received a couple of photos that he promptly saved for personal use.

But now that school was back in session and Hajime was faced with the reality of actually seeing the other boy, he was panicking. Obviously the two of them were attracted to each other, but he didn't want to risk ruining their friendship just for the sake of getting his rocks off.

He had no idea how to explain that to Fuyuhiko, though. So his dumb, panicked brain decided that the best course of action would be to avoid his friend altogether.

And that's exactly what he did. He stuck to the reserve course campus, ignored Fuyuhiko’s texts, and tried not to notice him glaring at him from across the courtyard. It wasn't the best plan, and he knew he was going to have to explain himself sooner or later, but for now it was all he could do.

He felt awful about ignoring his friend, though. He genuinely cared about Fuyuhiko and didn't want to hurt him, but he was terrified of actually facing his feelings.

After classes, Hajime left the campus before Fuyuhiko could corner him. He wandered around town for a bit, ignoring the way his phone was blowing up. Eventually, he headed back to the reserve course dormitory, feeling like garbage. He briefly considered calling Fuyuhiko to apologize as he unlocked the door.

All of his thoughts ground to a halt as he walked into his dorm room. Fuyuhiko was inside, waiting for him, sitting in Hajime's bed. Naked.

Hajime's brain completely short-circuited. He had definitely locked the door when he left that morning, so how exactly had the other boy gotten in? And why was he there? And why was he naked?!

“Close the door, dumbass,” the blonde snapped.

Hajime obediently shut the door behind him, staring dumbly at Fuyuhiko. “Uh… how did you get in here?”

Fuyuhiko snorted. “You think I don't know how to pick a stupid lock? More importantly, how ‘bout you tell me why the fuck you're avoiding me?”

Cringing, the taller boy looked away. “I'm not,” he lied.

“Don't try to bullshit me,” Fuyuhiko snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. His intimidating pose was severely undermined by his nudity. “We flirt for the entire break and suddenly you don't even want to look at me?”

That got Hajime's attention, and he turned slowly back to his friend. “...It's not like that.”

The blonde glared at him. “Then, please, explain.”

Hajime was silent for a long moment, trying to figure out how to put his feelings into words. Fuyuhiko's nakedness proved to be too distracting, however, and he found himself staring, mouth working soundlessly.

Fuyuhiko didn't seem to mind being ogled, and he uncrossed his arms, stretching languidly. “Or you can just fuck me to make it up to me.”

Hazel eyes snapped up to meet gold, and Hajime swallowed hard. “We can't,” he murmured, and part of his brain began screaming at him. Why would you say that?! Just go for it!

The yakuza heir clearly didn't agree with him, and he laid back against Hajime's pillows, allowing his legs to fall open enticingly. “And why is that?”

Hajime's mind went blank for a moment as his eyes traced over every inch of Fuyuhiko's body. He had to remind himself to keep breathing. “Because we…” He cut himself off as Fuyuhiko began trailing his fingers up his own thigh, completely derailing Hajime's train of thought again.

Fuyuhiko clearly knew exactly what he was doing, if the smug look on his face was any indication. He gave an encouraging hum, prompting Hajime to continue.

The brunette took another deep breath, trying to ignore the way his cock was straining against his pants. “We agreed we were better off as friends, didn't we?”

Arching an eyebrow, Fuyuhiko feigned innocence. “Did we? I don't remember that.” One of his hands was on his chest now, lightly tracing one finger around his nipple, while the other gently palmed his erection. His lips parted as a soft gasp escaped him.

“Fuck,” Hajime hissed, completely overwhelmed by the erotic sight before him. “Neither do I,” he agreed mindlessly, already scrambling out of his own clothes.

He all but dove into Fuyuhiko's arms, kissing him hungrily. The smaller boy gladly kissed back, pulling Hajime's full weight down on top of him. Their bodies quickly melded together, both of them moaning breathlessly, and suddenly Hajime couldn't remember why he had ever wanted to avoid this.

You get a 2-for-1, anon lol.

[clothyume]

The Whereabouts of the Missing Book Episode 4

Tori: …(Reading a manga in the corner of the room)

Eh, no way it ends here! I’m too curious about what happens next!

Does the Book Room have the next volume? Stopping here is nothing but torture!

Oops, I shouldn’t be too loud. If Yuzuru were here he’d find my hiding place!! I’ll get caught…

Tori: (Fufu, it’s perfect, hiding from Yuzuru here to read manga♪)

(Yuzuru’s nagging in our room is so annoying. He doesn’t think it's good for me to read manga at this age…) 

On the other hand, you can come here with the excuse that you're going to read a book, and read manga instead)

This is the best place to read manga, without a doubt~♪

Mika: Huh? Who’s that over there? 

Tori: Uhya!? I-I’ve been found!? 

Hajime: Tori-kun? What are you… Oh, were you reading manga? 

Tori: Kagehira-senpai and Hajime, huh. I thought you were Yuzuru or something so I got scared 

I heard the Book Room stocked a new manga, so I came to read it~ 

Tsukasa: Why do you have to read it in a place like this? That’s poor conduct, Tori-kun

Tori: Yuck, Tsukasa is with you too? 

Tsukasa: Why’d you say ‘yuck’ as soon as you saw me? That’s even worse conduct… 

No, pardon me. It’s my fault for even thinking an upstart would know etiquette 

After all, even though this place has beautiful chairs and desks, you don’t use them to read. Of course you don’t know etiquette

Tori: Huh? You think you can just say what you want if I just shut up and listen? 

Where and how I read manga is up to me, isn’t it? I’m not bothering anyone 

Ah~ yuck. This is why I don’t like kids who are only proud of their family’s social standing. Always taking advantage of others and trying to boast about it 

If you don’t, there’s nothing else to boast about, so there’s nothing I can do about it, right? 

Tsukasa: Gaah! How many times are you going to insult the Suou family? I won’t forgive you this time! 

Tori: Say’s you. I was really getting into this manga, and now you've ruined it! 

Mika: Awawa… Y-you two shouldn’t fight. Calm down, kay~?

Tori: I’m calm.  Tsukasa’s the one causing a fuss for no reason 

Tsukasa: Don’t turn me into the villain! It’s only because Tori-kun was rude to me in the first place—

Hajime: (I have to stop these two from arguing. This place is just like a library, after all)

(Besides, it’s like Suou-kun said, I should be more assertive…)

Y-You two! Be quiet in the Book Room, please! 

Tori: Woah, it’s rare to see Hajime raise his voice…

Tsukasa: Ack… But, Hajime-kun. Tori-kun’s actions are unforgivable! He’s a nuisance to others, standing in front of the shelves and reading manga 

Hajime: You’re right, Suou-kun. Tori-kun please be mindful of the way you’re obstructing other’s use of the bookshelf

Tori: Tch~... But if Hajime say’s so I won’t do it again, sorry

Tsukasa: Hmph. I’m glad you understand! Honestly, Tori-kun is always— 

Hajime: You too, Suou-kun. Although I’m giving Tori-kun a warning, raising your voice in the Book Room is also bad manner 

Be considerate of others around you, and don’t pick fights, okay? 

Tsukasa: Uh… Yes, I’m sorry 

Tori: Pfft, Tsukasa got told off by Hajime, serves you right~♪ 

Tsukasa: So did you!? 

Hajime: Suou-kun, Tori-kun…  

Tori: I-I said sorry. Don’t look so miserable, Hajime… 

Tsukasa: E-exactly. We won’t fight anymore…

Mika: Woah, that’s amazin’, Hajime-kun. Ya were able t’ stop ‘em fighting 

Hajime: N-not really… I’m sorry if I surprised you by raising my voice out of nowhere 

Tsukasa: Not at all, more importantly, let’s start searching for that book! That’s why we originally came to the Book Room, so let’s ignore Tori-kun 

Tori: Hmph… When you say it like that it makes me feel like an outcast, and I hate it!

Tori: I know you’re looking for a book, but what kinda book? I have some free time, so maybe I could help? 

Mika: Fer reals? Yer a life saver. I was actually frettin’ real bad

Tori: Hmm. So Kagehira-senpai lost the library book. We really will be in trouble if we can’t find it

Tsukasa: Why are you going to be in trouble? The library’s matters don’t really concern you? 

Tori: They do concern me! Do you know who the current Yumenosaki Student Council President is? 

Tsukasa: I know that much. Unfortunately it’s you, isn't it? 

Tori: That's right! The current student council president of Yumenosaki Academy is me, Tori Himemiya. That’s why it’s no exaggeration when I say everything in the academy is mine♪ 

Tsukasa: That is an exaggeration…

Tori: No, it’s not. Everything in the school is a precious property entrusted to me by Eichi-sama and Isara-senpai

That’s why it would be a major crime to lose something so important

How will Kagehira-senpai atone for his crime, I wonder~?  

Mika: E-eek~ I’m real sorry! I really will find it so please forgive me~!

Tori: Ahaha, I’m kidding. But it’s true that it’s my problem too. I really meant it when I said it was property inherited from Eichi-sama and the others

So, as Yumenosaki Academy's student council president, I’ll search for that book with you. Aren’t you grateful♪ 

Previous | Next

[ticklygiggles]

Tickletober Day 16: Ghost

Ft. IwaOiKage

A/N: this one got longer than I expected, hope the silliness doesn't make you cringe LOL

Iwaizumi found an interesting scene when he returned home that afternoon. First of all, raucous laughter echoed throughout the house and he could even hear it down the hall to his apartment.

Second, once he had kicked off his shoes and walked into his own house, following the sound of laughter, he found... A ghost straddling Kageyama's thighs on the couch as it tickled Tobio's hips until he was red in the face.

Third, there was no sign of Oikawa anywhere.

Iwaizumi looked at the pair until Kageyama felt his presence; the poor cackling boy looked at him and he jumped a bit in surprise.

He gasped, "Iwahahaizumihihi-sahahahan! Plehehease!"

Iwaizumi took a step forward, but was a bit startled when the ghost tickling Kageyama turned to look at him. "Oh, hello ghost, are you trying to kill Tobio?" He could hear Oikawa's faint chuckle under the white sheet and Iwaizumi grinned.

"I'm heEEEreee to get ToooOOOooobio-chaaAAAN!" Oikawa- ahem, the ghost said in the spookiest voice he could muster and Iwaizumi chuckled.

"Really now? Poor Tobio," Iwaizumi said with no remorse in his voice and crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Oikawa, the scariest ghost, wrecking Kageyama.

"Plehehease, Oikahahahawa-sahahahan!" Kageyama shrieked with hysterical laughter, twisting and shimmying the best be could, trying to escape this unfair attack.

"I'm noooOOOOooot OikAAAAawaaa!" He said, vibrating his fingers against Kageyama's hips, making him throw his head back with hysterical laughter. "I'm a ghoooOOOooost and I'm going to geeEEEeet yoouUUU!"

Kageyama was no longer able to form words between his laughter and Iwazuimi took it as a sign to finally step in and rescue his poor boyfriend.

"I apologize, ghost," he said, wrapping an arm around Oikawa's waist without him noticing and easily lifting him off Kageyama.

Oikawa squeaked and he tried to fight the arm around him, but Iwaizumi could feel him struggling with the sheet covering him.

He chuckled. "I can't let you get Tobio, you know? Tooru and I would be very upset," he explained as if he was really trying to reason with this being. "Can you move, Tobio? I think I'll need to teach this ghost a lesson."

"Eek! No! No, Iwa-chan, you can't!"

Kageyama rolled off the couch and Oikawa was immediately taking his place, Iwaizumi pushing him down with a firm hand against his chest, the other sneaking under the sheet and Oikawa's shirt.

"GAHAHAHA! N-Nohohot thehere! Not there, plehehease!"

"Ah, how strange! Tobio, this ghost has a ticklish tummy just like Tooru!" Iwaizumi lift his eyes to see Kageyama kneeling by his side, his cheeks and ears were pink as he shyly watched Iwaizumi wrecking their silly ghost. "I didn't know ghost could be ticklish, did you, Tobio?"

Kageyama sheepishly shook his head and Iwaizumi chuckled, pressing a quick kiss to his flushed cheek before he turned to see at the shrieking ghost.

"Iwa-chahahan! Plehehease! I cahahahan't breheheath!"

"This ghost also calls me just like Oikawa does, why would he do that, Tobio?"

"I- I don't know."

"Stohohop plahahaying arohohound! It's meheHEHEHE! Ahahaha nohohoho!"

As Iwaizumi clawed at Oikawa's tummy now with both hands, he looked at Kageyama. "Tobio, do you mind taking off the sheet? Let's find out who's this silly ghost, hm?"

Kageyama grabbed the sheet and he threw it away, reveling a red-faced and slightly sweaty Oikawa laughing his head off.

Iwaizumi faked a loud, surprised gasp. "So it was Tooru all along! You were the one torturing poor Tobio!"

Oikawa's cheeks flushed and he scrunched up his nose when Iwaizumi tickled the sides of his tummy. "You ahahare the wohohorst! Lehehet go alreheheady! It tihihickles!"

"I bet it does, Tooru, but you need to be punished for making us think you were a ghost!" Oikawa's face turned redder every time Iwaizumi spoke. Hajime giggled, "right, Tobio?"

This time Kageyama smiled too and he shook his head softly, "maybe we should let Oikawa-san breath, Iwaizumi-san."

Tooru nodded, throwing his head back as Iwaizumi's fingers, instead of slowing down, sped up momentarily before coming to a complete stop.

"Fine, just because you said so," Iwaizumi said grinning, watching Oikawa trying to catch his breath between residual giggles. "Ready to confess your crime, Tooru?"

"I just wahanted to scare Tobio-chan! But of course you have to show up and ruin everythi- AHAHAHA!"

"Yeah, I really think he should be punished, Tobio."

Tobio chuckled and he nodded softly. "Okay, only for a bit more."

[starlightshadowsworld]

Danganronpa 3 Despair arc episode 6.

Thonks.

Hajime having a flashback while describing what happened.

Oh boy.

Confirms he was supposed to be the Ultimate Hope.

"All traces off previous personality deleted."

You got that wrong... But for now you're right.

They really couldn't have cut his hair, like the whole time.

Chiaki asking Chisa how Hajime is, because she taught at the Reserve Course.

And Chisa lying to her.

Ouch.

I love how Ibuki is sus of Peko and Fuyuhiko's "sudden friendship."

And kicking Teruteru for getting perverted.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Few things are as Gundam Tanaka as Gundam calling a bunny a bringer of Calamity.

And than comforting said bunny and calling it BunBun.

So sweet.

Chisa got a hold of a key card from Juzo.

... Why would you want to live for Munakata's ideals?

Or die for him.

... Why?

Juzo saying he wouldn't hesitate to die for Chisa.

Unexpected, but I don't think it's jealously. Even with the close up of his fist.

They all were friends, he took her death hard, makes sense.

... Or maybe he is jealous of being a third wheel to Chisa and Munakata.

He cares a lot for both of them. It must be hard when you know both of your friends are in love.

And you're just here.

I don't like the guy but I can sympathise.

Aaaannnd Nagito is still missing.

Chisa your disguise kinda sucks but sure, breaking in.

Close the door!

Wait someone vanished?

Of course it was Junko's fault.

Junko that's curry... Not soup. I guess it doesn't matter if either way it's ending up in an eye.

Gotta love Junko talking about how great normal everyday things are for torture.

And knowing she'll some of the most elaborate executions known to man.

Imagine Danganronpa 1 but the executions are just torture via household objects and food.

... Actually don't that sounds terrifying.

The Kamakura project description...

Why does hearing about it with professional jargon make it sound so much worse?

And it's already fucked.

So Izuru has all known talents, and the trade off was losing his personality and his memories.

... Fuck.

And naturally Junko knows, somehow.

So she and Mukuro are off to meet him.

Idk why I'm suprised that Junko casually had an eyeball on her.

But did it need to be on the stick of the food your eating?

The fated meeting between Junko and Izuru.

Funny thing about Munakata being against the Kamakura project is that he basically becomes his own Izuru Kamakura.

A despair disguised under the flag of hope.

I love how he's like what if Izuru Kamakura turned against us.

Yeah that'd be awful... 👀

Annnd Izuru takes down both Junko and Mukuro.

Man has all talents.

I do like that he still sounds like Hajime.

So much more soul crushing.

The thing is Junko and Izuru are intellectual equals.

But Junko has the upper hand.

Izuru doesn't see Junko as a threat, she's able to fool him and implant the seeds of wanting despair in him.

She knows his situation better than anyone, because he knows all the outcomes and so does she.

She's bored and knows he is too.

And uses that in her favour.

Ayy Ryota's okay.

Twogami saying he's going to keep going to the hospital till he's got a clean bill of health.

Which is sweet.

And Junko in the infirmary.

Makes sense that Mukuro doesn't like Izuru, especially cos he injured Junko and Junko's fangirling over him.

Butt for Junko I'm sure she'll go with it.

"When she wakes up, tell her I'll be waiting."

Looks like the seeds been planted.

I say seeds like it was done all sneaky and cryptic but girl just despair speeched him.

And it worked.

I'd say Junko has issues but we all knew that.

Huh, didn't know Junko had a spidey sense.

And cornered, Ryota of all people.

Wasn't who I expected her to grab first... Especially because Ryota didn't become a despair.

But that doesn't mean he escaped her grasp.

... Few ever do.

[hopeymchope]

Yes, there was a rather prolific person on Reddit a few years ago whose argument was something about:

"After watching Mikan acting like this - "accidental" failings, having hysterical reactions at normal interactions, making others look like bullies out of nothing, like she did to Hajime in her introduction scene- for ten days - one has to be an idiot to not realise Mikan is being a troll. She is not some naive or handicapped child - her FTEs and Island Mode confirm she knows what she wants. She wants people's constant attention and would do dirty and immoral things to get it. If anything, it's Mikan who is preying on Hiyoko's lack of self-control. Hiyoko had insulted Mikan once, Mikan had remembered it, and started constantly baiting Hiyoko into "abusing" her because she gets massive masochistic pleasure from it - and baiting Hiyoko into attacking you is easy since Hiyoko feels threatened by any stranger larger&stronger than her (almost everyone) and insults them as a defence mechanism."

This Anon (the one who had sent the previous ask) is like... 80% disagrees with the general idea and 100% disagrees with the way the reddit person had framed it. At least because this argument, ironically, completely infantilises Hiyoko and strips her out of any agency - which she already has a very big problem with in canon story :-(

And yes, blaming Mikan for "wanting to be hurt and provoking others to hurt her" and saying that "hurting her isn't abuse because she wants and enjoys it" is like saying that "beating up a drug addicted criminal isn't police brutality because he already willingly hurts his health by taking drugs, therefore he must enjoy being hurt", and I am saying that as a Hiyoko fan.

NOTE: This is a direct sequel to this previous ask, which also inspired these that I posted earlier today.

Wow, that's... awful. The quoted logic, I mean. That's legitimately awful non-logic in every way. And "you'd have to ben an idiot not to realize" — mmm, okay, here's my counterpoint: You'd have to be an asshole to make such a leap in logic to justify the way Mikan is abused?

I've never considered the idea that maybe Mikan's falling into compromising positions could be somehow intentional, but that's maybe the one concept from that entire quote that I'd be willing to entertain for a moment. (Still gonna ultimately reject it, but I mean, it's an interesting hypothesis that I can at least comprehend the basis of.) Oh, and also "she's preying on Hiyoko's lack of self-control." What the fuck? We're... just going to let the idea that she Hiyoko can't stop herself from insulting and belittling and torturing others just sit there while making her "the victim"? Fuuuuuuck that.

Most of that is very much like "If those crabs didn't want to be killed by Hiyoko for her amusement, why were they on the beach at the same time she was there?" It's just... so far removed from being logical while also stretching desperately to justify the bad behavior.

[missingn000]

I love chapter 42 so much!✨️✨️✨️

It's so nice to see Suguru and Yuuji bonding even though the reason for it is so tragic... like, I am glad Suguru finally sees Yuuji as a person and that Yuuji can feel safe around someone, but I wish the reason wasn't Sukuna ruining everyone's lives because he's a drama queen.

Nobara getting ready to attack Sugur in Higurama's name is so sweet of her. Like, you really captured the essence of her character in that one scene!💖

Well, they're finally putting together the pieces of the puzzle and it doesn't look nice at all... At least now they're all kind of on the same page about Mahito, Hajime and Kenjaku.

Toji is right about blaming Sukuna. Like, I understand why Yuuji feels guilty (he is a precious bean and also 10), but I hope his family can convince him that getting possessed by an asshole doesn't mean you're guilty for his actions.

The conversation between Nanami and Sukuna was so interesting! I love how Sukuna overshares and monologues, I am certain spending however many years he spent all by himself did not help his social skills. Like, he is dropping so many hints about his tragic backstory: the psychological torture comments, the whole "sucks to be the strongest", the no longer having a soul, there is nothing good in this world anymore, the Yuu-Ji thing as well. Once I finish my final exam I will try to put together a theory because all I can do right now is rotate everything in my mind.

Sukuna's opinion on humanity is very interesting. I like how you gave him complex thoughts on human nature and a philosophy of his own. It's really great how you gave both him and Kenjaku ideologies that tie into the themes of the story instead of the classic "I am evil, always have been, always will be". Like, even though Kenjaku is irredeemable at least he is motivated by something. And if Sukuna is going to get forcefully added to the found family he needs some toxic beliefs to let go of.

Yuuji and Megumi make me so sad, but at least the bullying Sukuna club is there to make it better.

✨️Sukuna got called a weird individual!✨️

✨️Sukuna learned how to pronounce Yuuji's name!✨️

"There's nothing good left in the world!" This is Uraume slander. Like, I can't believe Sukuna is saying this while his bestie is still out there... smh. Uraume was there by his side during his entire flop era and this is how he repays them? I get that he needs to drop hints about his tragic backstory in the most dramatic fashion, but he could be more considerate.😔

Satoru and Suguru will finally talk!✨️✨️✨️Took them long enough.

Yuuji called Nanami his papa, told Shoko she is his mother!✨️ (I am so glad he disowned Kenjaku✨️✨️✨️)

Nanashoko is the only couple that has rights smh... I am glad they got together and proved that talking to each other like normal people has benefits. Good for them!🎉💖🎉

Nanami's second conversation with Sukuna was also interesting... Sukuna really says a lot of concerning stuff out of nowhere that makes zero sense without context and he seems less than willing to provide context. The one policy that he's no longer interested in is such and interesting thing and I am glad Nanami doesn't let him avoid the subject. Like, he managed to back the King of Curses into a corner! Good for him!

Also, congratulations on graduating!✨️

✨️💖✨️

i'm glad you enjoyed chapter 42!! yeah getou and yuuji bonding was sooo sweet, even if the origin of their cute dynamic was getou beating the shit out of the demon in yuuji's body, which was technically still yuuji himself. ouch. well at least getou made some serious progress seeing him as a person rather than, well, yknow

WAHH NOBARA AND HIGURUMA...they're making progress too, even if they're less open about it.

yeah, you could really see the puzzle pieces fitting together in that first scene huh? the poor fam realizing with mounting horror that this has all been planned for years...at least they figured out it isn't really getou's fault, and now they, for the most part, know who they're up against. though they definitely do not see who "yuuji's mother" is coming. toji's so right, sukuna's at fault here too

BRO THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN NANAMI AND SUKUNA WAS SO FUN TO WRITE. plus it was really fun to explore sukuna's potential thoughts on humanity in a compelling way since we know so little about his canon psyche. he deserves a philosophy of his own and weird, offputting takes on human nature!! plus i personally think evil because it's fun isnt quite as intriguing as evil because it's satisfying

regarding uraume...stay tuned, because THAT is gonna be crazy. i promise he didn't forget about them. he couldn't even if he tried. i'll leave it at that for now

PLEASE nanashoko rights!! stsg get your shit together, these two are outdoing you at communication and theyve been together for a few hours. nanami rlly managed to back sukuna into a corner RIGHT after that. this dude gets it.

tysm for reading <333

[a-student-out-of-time]

W̷̹̭̆͠ó̵͔̱u̸̮̮͇͌̆͋l̶̝̎d̶̫̒͂̎ ̵͓̞̠̒͌͝ŷ̶̛̕ͅơ̷̬͇̄̋u̶͖͚̪͘ ̶̟̱̈́̃̎ḃ̸͙͈͛e̴̻̭͒̋ĺ̵͔̦̣͂i̶͙̒̅͘ͅë̵͔̯̯́v̵̞͌̍ē̴̖̤̤ ̵̠͔̺̕m̵̧̙̓e̸̬͛̆ ̵̥́͝i̸̮̼̓̍́f̵̧̻̚ ̶̝͎̃I̷̪̽̌ ̵̮̳̄̂̚t̵̫̞̙̏̈é̶̘͋͑l̸̬͌l̶̨̛͊ ̵̭̤̚y̷̛̮̗͒ͅǫ̷̟͑u̷͕̍͛̉ ̵̫̰̠͗ī̷̺̆ţ̶̱͙̾̈́͠ ̴͍̍́͜g̴̥̐e̸̠̎t̸͔͋́s̸̲͛̇ ̵̭̥̄ͅw̵͙̞͊̃̇o̸̧͎̓͋r̴̼̗̓̈́s̵̲̀̌ë̸̡̜̟́̓̀?̵̙̄--Timeline Anon

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

???: Hinata...

Huh?!

Why can't you make the right decision? It's not that hard.

Yes, it is. I can't just-

Can't just what? Kill? So our lives don't matter to you.

It's not like that!

What about Echo's life? What kind of life do you think they'd have? Locked in a dark cage, starved, tortured, just so Shirogane can see the future?

Everything my sister did was for nothing...Vive la guerre éternelle.

My mother...she never gets to see me grow up...

I...I swear to you, I'll find a solution! I will! I'll help you all! I'll fix all this!

*Hajime feels a hand on his shoulder*

???: Hinata Hajime...stop fooling yourself...

...huh?

???: How can you possibly help them? Your actions caused all this. Look.

...Please....someone...?

I...I can't take it anymore! PLEASE! MOM! DAD! ASHLEY! SOMEONE!

...Please...make it stop...

Echo-san...

???: What makes you think you can help them, Hinata? You can't help them...after all...

Who are....?

*Hajime turns around*

You caused all this...

Aggh...gaagh....

AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

____________________________________________________

GAAGH! Agh...haah...

Huh?

Zzz...

*Hajime looks out the window, seeing an early morning sky*

Thank god...

[rk-tmblr]

“Is there a place for me in your heart?”

NOTE: Another little spoiler of a work I'm drafting...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The flick of the lighter echoed through the salty air and then the fizzing of the cigarette's burning tip shone warmly against the dark blue landscape of the traffic city below her. She took a puff with her eyes closed, waiting for him to fall in his step and coming close. Next to where her elbows stood on the cold rail, Iwaizumi put a glass of water. Crystal clear, it looked like a diamond under the moonlight rays.

"Do you want me to put it out?" she asked while shifting the cigarette away from him, so it couldn't disturb him too much with its smoke.

"Do what you want, I know it's your choice to make," he replied politely, "But I have to tell you that I don't like you to smoke because it's bad for your health," there couldn't help but lecture her gently, "This doesn't mean you're disappointing me, you're not a disappointment."

"Mmh... Seems like the psychology lessons you had were pretty good," she hummed, smiling slightly behind another puff. 

"They were, but I must admit I had also a good observing friend who liked psychology at high school," he shared the little knowing smile. 

"Yeah?" she chuckled softly, "So you're not here to scold me like a child, are you, Hajime?"

He sighed and leaned on the rail too, glancing over the LA skyscrapers and orange-colored lights of its streets, he thought how to ask properly and she let him do that smoking quietly beside him. 

"You see it too, don't you?" he hated hitting around the bush but he couldn't middle in his friends' affaires at the same time, so it was the only way out.

"I'll lie if I say I don't see everything I can," she nodded and he was grateful that instead she liked the metaphors way too much. 

"Then I don't understand why," he confessed and turned to her, "Why didn't you say anything and why don't you now?"

She let some ashes fall down by tapping on the butt of the cigarette, she took a puff and watched the little flame burning for a bunch of seconds.

"I wasn't ready back then and he wasn't too, it wasn't fair for none of us," she explained calmly, "Now... Now we're being both stupid and we'll probably snap at the wrong time," she laughed in a silly way.

"Oh okay then, I was right from the start," he noted sarcastically, "You fucking dumbasses are meant to torture me 'till death!"

At those words she couldn't restrain herself anymore and laughed so hard that the cigarette slipped through her fingers and fell down over the balcony. 

"Oh shit!" she cursed still chuckling, "Hope nobody's gonna burn their hair!" she caught a tear under her eye with her pointing finger. 

"No seriously," he didn't pity at all the still half cigarette to smoke, "That was just a joke, right? You don't really mean it, right!?" 

The scene must have been funny because she kept a dopey smile on her lips, while she gladly accepted the glass of water he brought. Iwaizumi looked like a mad man, the vein on his forehead was so close to pop out because of the tension.

"I got the impression you don't really want me to answer that..." she whispered behind the glass right before taking a few tips and he called her name out sternly, "Alright alright," she surrendered rising her free hand, "I mean... Do you think I should?"

"Definitely!" he pleaded exhausted by the antics of those two idiots he had choose as friends, "Please, put me out of this misery and go for it! I'll pay all the cost of the honeymoon if you want, but please just fucking tell him!" 

"A good payed honeymoon doesn't sound bad, after all..." she feigned interested in being persuaded like that, "It's just that... For real, do you think I can, Hajime?"

The humour left completely the banter to change in a heart-felt conversation. She stood up on her feet and looked up at him with so much honesty and fear and care in her eyes that he switched his mood to match hers immediately. 

"What scares you?" he genuinely asked, "Is it the distance?"

"No it's not that... Or at least I think it's something I could manage but..." she sighed and lowered her gaze into the glass of water still filled, "What I fear is that he would say yes, but then after some time that would just turn in a kinda of gatekeeping thing and he would end hating me for all of that," she spoke the darkest part of her heart, "I swear, Hajime, if the risk would only be a break up, I could deal with the pain of its aftermath... I'm so fucking used to love people who has left me behind," she smiled sadly while running a digit around the rim of the glass, "But if he ends up hating me? I don't think I could bear that idea." 

Another tear run down her cheeks and Iwaizumi's heart clenched at the thought that this time it wasn't caused by a laugh... 

He called her name softly to meet again her eyes, "Listen, I really think you should tell him all of this, you need to feel your emotions! Especially the good ones, because you're always so careful with the bad ones that you tend to forget those sometimes," he put a comforting hand on her shoulder, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but he loves you so much that I think he fear the same about you."

"Okay," she murmured.

"You deserve to be happy and loved, both of you do," he reassured her.

"Okay," she repeated, "Thanks Hajime," she found a little bit of courage about what to do, "We might be the ones to pay you a honeymoon..."

"Yeah, I fucking deserve that after all of these years with you two dumbasses in love!!" he laughed openly and she followed him shyly, "Now let's go inside, it's starting to get cool," he side-hugged her to lead her back to the living room before she could remember to not have completely smoked her fallen cigarette.

[causeitsagame]

@hajihiko and I talked about the aftereffects of All Of That (1 / 2 / 3 / 4), and you know what a good whalloping suckerpunch of angst needs? Some incredibly shameless H/C to follow it up.

(Warning for all the topics you'd expect after the physical and emotional trauma in those first posts.)

---

The music had started up again.

Fuyuhiko grimaced at the familiar, bone-deep thumping that ran through the walls and into his body. He could mostly tune out the sounds themselves, but the vibrations were harder to ignore. Instinctively, he moved his pillow over his ear and hoped for the best.

Sleep came only shallowly, and cold soon woke him from it. It'd licked at his shoulder where it poked up over the blanket, but once he became aware of the cold, it was obvious that the blanket wasn't heavy enough to actually keep the rest of him warm.

He could pretend that things were tolerable as he first fell asleep, exhausted by the horrors of each fresh day. But with a few hours' sleep, his body usually woke back up to alert him of all the dangers it faced. That only made things worse. He was in this cell, as alone as he'd ever been, and his captors weren't going to help him warm himself, or heal himself, or feed himself like he really needed. Each night without recuperative sleep just sped his inevitable death a little more.

Fuyuhiko frowned under the pillow he held to his ear. Now that he thought about the music, that song sounded like… those fuckers. They probably thought this was a great goddamn joke to play on him, didn't they? For the first time, they'd gotten their hands on one of the Remnants, and so now they were reminding him of the others. Playing Ibuki's music like that had to be taunting him: we'll get her, too. Remember how she screamed this song at everyone, not too long after they woke up? We'll get all of them. Every last one.

Deeper, glacial cold ran through Fuyuhiko, and he went very, very still.

After they woke up?

He shouldn't know that.

Why did he know specifics? Why could he picture locations? Events? Names? Shit. Fuck. It hadn't worked. The memories were still there to be carved out of him. He was weaker now than he'd been at the start of everything, and he'd do his damndest to hold everything back, but it would grow harder with every passing day.

Fuyuhiko clutched the blanket tight and tried to force himself back into sleep. He needed to shore up his willpower before the torture restarted. He knew he'd be dead, soon enough, so the only control he had was over whether he betrayed everyone he cared about. He couldn't let anyone know anything about the Remnants as a whole, and more than anything, he couldn't tell them one single goddamn thing about Hajime.

Shit. Fuck. FUCK. Why had he let himself remember that name?

Nearly delirious with panic, Fuyuhiko curled in on himself and tried to pass out.

Eventually, the heavy door opened and Knife (or Stain or Red) stepped inside. Fuyuhiko froze, attempting to feign unconsciousness. If it were simply more pain coming, he could bear anything. He'd simply stop acknowledging most of the agony ripping through him, knowing that his body would probably wear out before his resolve did. But if he knew things again, 'probably' was no longer good enough. Torture suddenly mattered, again.

They called his name, and he tensed before he could help it. Damn. That'd been visible. They knew he was awake. It was about to start.

They called his name again, and reached down to grab him by the shoulder. Fuyuhiko flinched, unable to help it, and also couldn't help his grimace when the pillow was lifted away from his head. His good eye screwed tighter shut, like that'd somehow help.

His name. Again. Again. And then he was being lifted bodily out of bed, and Knife's gang was saying…

Saying… what? That didn't make sense. Saying it was okay? That he was safe? What?

Fuyuhiko risked opening his good eye, slowly enough that he could slam it shut if something came at it. What he saw didn't make any sense, either. Who was that? It wasn't Knife, Red, or Stain. Had they brought in someone new? And what was with that look of concern? Were they doing mind games, now? Trying to play good cop, bad cop after spending so long with the same approach?

"Fuyuhiko," the stranger said again, with deep worry running through his voice. "It's okay. It's okay. Look at me."

He did, and confusion slowly ebbed like fog burning off under sunlight. "Hajime?" Fuyuhiko wondered, only for adrenaline to slam into him like taking a punch. "You have to get out of here!" he cried, lunging forward to shove him. "I told you not to come! Fuck! Go!"

"Fuyuhiko," Hajime repeated in an endless, soothing stream. "It's okay. Look around. Look at where you are. You're not there. You're not there."

"Huh?" Fuyuhiko's exhaustion-fogged brain needed a few seconds to respond, and he slowly looked around the room. There were… there were windows.

Windows? His room didn't have windows. Why were there windows, then?

Because… this was the ship. He was on the ship. He'd been back here for weeks, and his memories were back by choice, and Hajime wasn't about to be captured.

Exhaling, Fuyuhiko closed his eyes and relaxed, letting Hajime hold him up with the grip he had on Fuyuhiko's shoulders. "I'm back. Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," Hajime murmured. "Hey. Wanna look outside? It's sunny."

"I'm fine," Fuyuhiko said shortly, and pulled back. "I didn't have a damn nightmare or something. I was just… confused."

"After what you went through, it's normal to—"

"I'm fine," Fuyuhiko said in an increasingly tight voice, and pulled further away when Hajime reached for his wrist. "Ibuki screaming in the middle of the night just woke me up. S'normal to be tired when you can't sleep. Gonna let me get dressed?"

Hajime hesitated, then nodded and stepped back. "Right, sure. Sorry. Glad you're fine."

Fuyuhiko mutely nodded, and made a show of waiting for Hajime to leave so that he could dress for the day.

They'd sailed back north, at least for now. There was a military base the group knew of with pickings too good to pass up. That must have been where Hajime got the supplies for his dumbass (spectacular, overwhelming, incredible) move with the satellites.

This wasn't a commitment to settling up here, but they couldn't stay back on Jabberwock for long, and this little bay had apparently served them well enough. It was getting colder each day, though. Pretty, Fuyuhiko thought as he leaned on the railing and looked up at how very low the snowline had pushed into the evergreen forest surrounding them. But cold.

He folded his arms, enjoying the warmth of a sweater that he never would have been seen in while representing the clan, and appreciated the view. For about three minutes.

It wasn't unusual for Hajime and Peko to talk at length. For one, she'd trained herself on a lot of monitoring equipment, as had others. She, the Imposter, Mahiru, Nagito, Kazuichi, and Sonia all took shifts watching and listening for anything of note.

But those two were also the most likely to be concerned about Fuyuhiko. After his embarrassing confusion this morning, that had better not be motivating their latest conversation. Fuyuhiko watched them from a distance, talking and nodding and gesturing, and frowned when Hajime walked off first.

Toward Ibuki.

Goddammit!

"No," he hissed as he ran across the deck and grabbed Hajime by the arm.

"I just thought I could tell her to keep it down at night." Hajime shrugged. "Everyone else would probably appreciate it, too."

"I said I could handle it." Fuyuhiko's eye narrowed. "Don't say one fucking thing."

"Fuyuhiko—"

His eye drew into a mere slit. It glinted warning.

"Fine," Hajime relented. "But I think you should know that this is normal. I'm just trying to help, and it's nothing to be ashamed about."

"If you don't stop Ibuki, then is Peko gonna?"

"I…" Hajime rolled his eyes and walked off. "I'll talk to Peko."

Okay. Good. Fuyuhiko watched until he was sure that neither of them would attempt to talk to Ibuki, and wandered off toward breakfast.

That night, it was cold again.

Fortunately, music didn't blare, but the metal walls creaked ominously with the same winds that kept Ibuki below deck. Winter had arrived with a hunger, by now, and the narrow inlets along the coast funneled gusts right toward them.

Fuyuhiko curled into a ball under his blanket and tried to think of anything but cold running through his mind on repeat. Logically, he knew that it wasn't truly that bad in his room. A vent over the door radiated heat and he'd worn warm enough clothes to bed. Even so, his bed was up against the metal wall and it seemed to leech heat directly out of him and into the Canadian winter on the other side.

And all those dark memories coiling themselves around his mind thrived in the cold.

His door clicked. Annoyed, Fuyuhiko turned toward whoever had come to wake him up.

One of two expected faces was there, and it was the one who wouldn't just hand an extra blanket to him and make a silent exit. "I raided an empty room," Hajime explained, gesturing to the blanket in his hand.

Fuyuhiko sighed, about to argue that things had been spread evenly through the cabins, but stopped his own argument before he made it. It wasn't like they needed to keep those empty cabins stockpiled; they wouldn't be picking up any passengers any time soon. "Thanks, but…"

"But?"

But. But. He didn't know. The protest had been instinctive.

Hajime nodded slowly, closed the door behind him, and walked further into the cabin. "Mind talking?"

"Maybe," Fuyuhiko said wryly, and sat up. The blanket came with him and his legs folded snugly inside where it draped off his shoulders. As he sat up, he noticed an odd glow outside the portholes, like moonlight and starlight had been smeared flat against the glass. At some point, it'd started to snow. The gleaming reflection off each individual flake was dim, barely there, but there were so many of them.

Hajime sat on the other end of the bed and draped the blanket he'd brought around his own shoulders. "I'd keep waking up with his memories as my dreams."

Ah. Fuyuhiko considered Hajime, aware that his expression had slid toward sympathy in the not-really darkness, and said nothing.

"That happened again a few weeks ago, actually," Hajime continued. "When I did the satellites, I just kind of shut down all of my emotions so I wouldn't chicken out. That night, Sonia looked at me like I was… like I was someone else. Well, we started sailing for Jabberwock. A few nights into the trip, I thought about the satellites again. I remembered how she'd looked at me, and pretty soon… it wasn't me, that night."

Fuyuhiko shifted his weight on the bed and adjusted his grip on the blanket he held. "You didn't say anything."

"Right." Hajime shrugged. "I'm used to it. And I'm pretty practiced with coming back around, by now. But I guessed you weren't, yet."

Fuyuhiko laughed darkly, remembering how hard Hajime had needed to work to shatter the memories that had captured him. "Yeah. Well. What gave it away?"

"How'd that memory thing work, again? The one your dad taught you?"

The topic change caught him off guard, and Fuyuhiko needed a moment to catch up. "Uh… when there's enough pain that your brain can't think about anything else, you force an image into your head. From that point out, if you get asked about what they were trying to carve out of you, all you'll be able to remember is the new image."

Hajime's hands tightened around the blanket he held until the knuckles went tight and pale. "Right," he said after a measured pause, in a strained voice edged with outrage. "Sounds… really… handy."

Fuyuhiko smirked. It had been, but after a few desperate 'thank yous,' Hajime would never sincerely admit to that again.

"Anyway," Hajime continued, visibly trying to squelch his anger. "Think about what you just said: 'your brain can't think about anything else.'"

"Yeah, and?"

"Our brains have limits. They can only take so much. You know that, because you deliberately used your brain's limits as part of your plan." He scooted a little closer. "Well, this is just the other side of it, I guess. It's what came along as part of using that plan to." Hajime halted, swallowed, and needed a moment to continue. "To save me."

When Fuyuhiko remained thoughtfully quiet, Hajime reached for where Fuyuhiko's hand held the draped blanket shut. He ran his fingertips along a raised line on the hand's back. "You're not weak if you get a scar after you're cut, right? That's just how it works."

Fuyuhiko sat in silence for a while, then snorted faintly. "Don't pull out your Ultimate Therapist on me. Jerk."

Hajime smiled.

Sighing, Fuyuhiko tilted his head back and studied the ceiling. These stark cabin walls did look unfortunately similar to the place he'd been held for months. "So. How long's it last?"

"There are treatments we can try, if you want to."

Fuyuhiko looked uncertainly at him. "Treatments? Would I… what, have to bring Mikan into the loop?" Because there was no way.

"Don't have to. I haven't, for me."

Well. That was a positive, at least. “Didn't you say you had another bad night just recently?"

"Yeah," Hajime acknowledged. "Now that you mention it, next time we hit that military base, maybe we can check what they've got stockpiled in the pharmacy. For both of us. But even with just some mental exercises and techniques, it's a lot better than it was. I'll probably always have some bad nights, but if they're only an exception, I can deal."

Fuyuhiko nodded slowly. "Okay. So, I'd just talk with you, then?" He wouldn't with anyone else, but he could do that.

"Right. As much as you'd be up for."

Shifting awkwardly below his blanket, Fuyuhiko hesitated, then met and held Hajime's gaze. "Would you be up for it?" That earned a confused look, and he clarified, "If I start talking about exactly what they did to me, and you know it was for your sake, what's that gonna do to your own head?"

That apparently hadn't crossed Hajime's mind before it was pointed out. Concern, sympathy, and heartbreak passed through his expression in equal measure.

"Right." Fuyuhiko laughed faintly and pulled his knees tight against his chest. "We make quite a pair, huh?"

"I… look, if it helps, don't worry about my reaction. Really. It's exactly like you said: you did that for me. If me hearing about it helps you, then that's what we're gonna do."

Except that the most likely option would be Hajime needing to squelch his emotions to handle what he was hearing, and locking down his feelings did fuck-all for his mental health. "It's just gonna be you and me cycling around like this, huh?" Fuyuhiko drawled. "Each of us shoving the other out in front."

Hajime went quiet again before looking back up. His shoulders slumped slightly in resignation, for he apparently admitted that his plan had bit off too much, too early. "Okay. Then… we'll do that some day, but let's compromise right now. Let's just try to figure out what sets off your bad nights so we can hopefully avoid them. That's a good first step. Right?"

"Fair enough. But one of them is loud music, and you're not gonna mention one goddamn word of this to Ibuki. If she knows something, the whole ship'll know."

"Right," Hajime mused. "It's quiet tonight, but…" He trailed off, then asked thoughtfully, "What about ear plugs?"

"That's…" Fuyuhiko considered what it would be like if he could only feel the vibrations without any music. It might feel close enough to a ship's ongoing movement that he could convince himself that's all he was feeling. "That could help, actually." He probably should have thought of that, but he'd tried to forget his bad nights as soon as he woke from them.

Hajime grinned. "Okay, good start. Anything else?"

Fuyuhiko looked away, uncomfortably aware of how he'd been gripping his blanket like some child in a crib. "…Being cold."

Sympathy slammed into Hajime's eyes: the same overwhelmed look that Fuyuhiko remembered being directed at him while stuck in a hospital bed, when he didn't know who was staring at him in broken disbelief. "Oh. Right. Of course."

Fuyuhiko's grip flexed around the blanket. It wasn't like he was that invalid, still. It was fucking winter in fucking Canada, of course he couldn't shake off the cold.

"Uh…" Hajime scanned the room with increasing concern, clearly aware that he'd run up against the edges of Fuyuhiko's mood. "Here."

"Here?" Fuyuhiko repeated, expecting the other blanket to be draped around him. Instead, a warm set of arms embraced him around the blanket he wore, and Fuyuhiko blinked in surprise. "Uh," he managed.

"Mikan tells me I run a full degree warm," Hajime said with a grin. "Can you feel it?"

Still too surprised to protest, Fuyuhiko sat there and felt the warmth seep through the blanket, and then through his clothes, and then into him. It seemed to unknot muscles that had been tight ever since they returned to northern latitudes. "Yeah," he admitted, and relaxed.

The heat burrowed deeper and a long breath sighed out of him. "This is nice," Fuyuhiko conceded. He probably wouldn't let himself say that if he'd ever been able to get a full night's sleep. As winter's presence became inarguable, a full night's rest became impossible. Most nights weren't bad ones, not like the day before, but he always woke up midway.

He was soon so slack, so relaxed, that it took him a minute to realize his position had changed. "Huh?" Fuyuhiko blearily wondered as he looked up from the pillow he'd been laid against. Once made comfortable, his body had apparently decided to reclaim the sleep it'd missed. Immediately.

It took him another moment to realize that Hajime was also reclining, having arranged the blankets on top of them both. He noticed Fuyuhiko looking at him and lifted his eyebrows in silent question. This okay?

Fuyuhiko blinked at him in slow motion, still in awe of what it felt like to be warm, again, and to not feel alone and abandoned inside a steel cage. "You don't have a pillow," he pointed out, like it was suddenly, deeply important.

"Could raid another empty room."

He tried to say 'if you go, hurry' and 'don't lift the blankets too much.' All that actually came out was a soft, sleepy, "Mmmm." It was kind of funny, Fuyuhiko thought as he drifted off with surprising speed. Here was the person he'd gone through hell for, and yet, next to him, he had confidence that his memories would be kept safe from returning there.

Hajime grinned a little at the noise that had come out of Fuyuhiko as he toppled rapidly off the edge of consciousness. "Maybe tomorrow for a pillow."

"Mmmm," Fuyuhiko agreed, and felt his body relax out of the tight knot he'd automatically made. It was warm, finally. And no one could ever find them. That was good. That was…

Sleep took him gently but deeply, and lasted until morning.

[becomehaikyuu]

Haikyuu: Overview

(I got Batman: Year One on in the background so excuse me if that influences the writing.)

So...what made Haikyuu genuinely compelling? First, let's talk about sports manga. Sports suck so that hurts the entire genre. Literally the only ones I read are glorified fighting shonens, Hajime No Ippo and Blue Lock. As anyone who read this thing I did can clearly see, I don't care about the technical aspects of the sports. I enjoy characterization. I enjoy seeing crazy shit. And I enjoy the weird faces people make when they're getting intense and they don't think people are looking.

Haikyuu...doesn't really have any of those things. They have characters...but they're all down to earth (yeah, even Oikawa) and I have trouble remembering their names, let alone their characterizations. There are some crazy moments in volleyball (didn't know you could catch the ball with your foot before I read this) but there's no crazy shonen moments (No Kuroko no Basket 92 Red Bulls moments here, that's for sure.). And everyone here, weird looking as they get, basically don't stretch my suspension of disbelief with their expressions. So Haikyuu is relatively basic all things considered. Why did I not consider this blog to be a waste of time after a while?

The title literally translates directly to Volleyball and that's all you're going to hearing about when you read it. Why? Because everyone here cares about volleyball. They really fucking love volleyball. The author really fucking loves volleyball. And any subject, no matter how boring, inane or niche it is, that is approached with this much passion is going to come off as amazing. When a character hits a strong spike, you feel it. When an important ball is blocked, you grunt in frustration. You share victory and you share defeat. No one has gotten to care this much about breathing, let alone Volleyball.

I gotta thank @cubistemoji for whining about this series so much so that I used it as an excuse to temporarily torture her with Baki the Grappler. Without that stupid bet, I wouldn't get to read one of the greatest manga I ever laid eyes on. I should read more manga that shows genuine interest in the subject matter more often.

I'm gonna do the specials and the mini chapter but after that, I'll put the blog on hiatus until the next season comes out. Thanks for watching me ramble for months on end about a series that's been over for years.

[a-tale-never-told]

And as for why Harumi didn’t become a Ultimate was probably due to dirty dealings involving someone else who really hated her. Butttt we don’t have to worry about that narcissistic bitch because a KPD Agent killed her! Why? We Anons aren’t telling because that’s a can of worms we aren’t tackling until probably YEARS later down the line.

Exactly. Don't beat yourself up over something that you can't control or change. After all, there are always ways to solve the situation at hand without constantly trying to let it complicate your life. After all, I'm dealing with schizophrenia yet I don't let it complicate my life. Do you know why? Because I have a positive and easy-going attitude in life.

If I didn't have an easy-going and mindful attitude during that period of self-loathing and paranoia, I honestly wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't even be part of the Reserve Course with that type of mindset, as there's a reason why I managed to last through months of physical and mental torture, preparing for the test.

But you shouldn't worry about things that won't necessarily be playing a big part in what we're currently facing at the moment. Sometimes, you gotta have an open mind in life, accept things as they are, and rather than constantly worry and fear about the worst possible reality, try to work towards preventing that from ever becoming a reality in the first place and make steps in order to change that path.

Don't get me wrong, I think that everything we've heard so far is insanely fucked up and needs to be rightfully revealed to the whole world at some point, but that isn't what matters right now. What matters is saving both Komaeda and Hinata from themselves, and preventing another murder from happening among one of us.

So instead of focusing on the past and worrying about it too much, focus on the options and actions you can do now. After all, you said it's a complicated can of worms, right? So let's not dwell on that fact right now, as we don't have enough evidence or proof that these accusations are actually true, and focus on what we can prevent and what events can we change for the better in this world.

She's right, y'know? After all, I didn't manage to be successful by constantly worrying about things that honestly don't matter to me at the moment. You have a right to be worried about what happened to Chiaki's family, as well as to yours, but that doesn't matter at the moment. What matters is saving our friends. Both of them.

R-right! It's completely understandable as to why you feel this way since this situation involves our own families. But you shouldn't have to worry about situations in the past, as they don't matter overall at the moment.

S-So let's stop focusing on a situation that probably won't matter untill we eventually know the full truth of the matter, and focus on something that does matter to us, which is trying to save not only Hajime's life but also Komaeda's. After all, you're not doing this alone, right? You're with your friends to support you and guide you along the way in order to prevent that reality from ever becoming true.

I concur. Every situation we resolve will simply lessen the greater threats and fears of every problematic issue we come across as a team. After all, you are not in this dilemma alone Mahiru, so rather than ponder and constantly think about what could result from such a tragic and complicated situation such as this, let us focus on solutions to the issues that lay forward ahead of us, and cease wasting time on trivial matters when the safety and well-being of our friends are at risk.

So you see, Mahiru. You don't have to feel so worried and afraid about what's going to occur in the future if you take this opportunity to learn about what happened in the future and focus on correcting these mistakes, one small step at a time. And just remember that you're not alone in this situation. Me, Hinata, Mioda, Tsumiki, we're all in this together. So let's stop worrying about what situations happened in the past and try to take advantage of the knowledge we possess in order to prevent those decisions from ever happening.

...

Thanks, girls. I really appreciate your advice.

My pleasure.

After all, you taught me not to worry too much about what others think of me, and to not dwell on the worst possibilities, right? So I figured I could repay the favor that you did for me all those years back in middle school by standing up to Natsumi when she made fun of my schizophrenia.

Yeah! I really appreciate that favor, honestly. Perhaps I do need to stop worrying about stuff that isn't going to be relevant for about a few more years. Besides, we have both the knowledge and the amount of time to prepare and plan how we're going to resolve those events beforehand, so I can take solstice in the fact that we're not going into this blind.

Maybe I'll try to not stress out that much when it comes to situations like this, considering that we have the ability to prepare for the coming event beforehand. So I guess I'll try to start being more of a positive force for this class because we all honestly need it.

That's a start. I'm just glad you're feeling a lot better, Mahiru. Your parents would be incredibly proud of the talented and inspirational young woman you've become, wouldn't they?

...

You know what? I like to imagine they would be proud of what I became and the type of person I've turned into. So I can appreciate the fact that no matter what happens, I'll always have my parent's unconditional support and love whenever a situation or obstacle comes my way! And that's to me worth more than anything else in the world.