#why did we step away from beef bones with those idiots?

[blurred-cat]

if we’re all full of fucking microplastics then i cannot imagine how much microplastics must be in Dogs and Cats

[kingofdirtandnothing]

@polyfacetious big ass Christmas Drabble Extravagaza: Day Eighteen

This isn’t the first time Clark has been interviewed about the farm. He remembers being about twelve years old, sitting on the front of the tractor while his dad talked about immigrating, and starting fresh on an entirely different continent. 

The reporter at the time was a beautiful woman, with dark hair and bright blue eyes. She had smiled and took notes, and even asked questions that went beyond the breadth of the “fluff piece” this was supposed to be. 

Clark always had a soft spot for reporters after that. They were people searching for the truth. That truth had to be harsh sometimes. They had to work hard and chase leads and bring light to unsavory things. 

But sometimes, a good story was just talking about life, and making other people feel good. It was a balance that Clark could respect. Because he knew as much as anyone how difficult it was to find balance in your work. 

Because Clark loved what he did. He loved the farm, he loved continuing on his parent’s legacy. But there were days that he wondered what it would be like to chase stories, to go on adventures, to peel back the layers of the world and find what was waiting beneath. 

Those were the days he took a little longer out on the tractor. Clark was a known daydreamer. His mom always liked to tell people that he had that faraway look in his eye the day that they met, even though he was three months old. 

(That’s another story he finds himself daydreaming about chasing. Finding out who his biological parents were. Why they didn’t want him.)

But those were thoughts for another time. Because there was a reporter back on the Kent farm again, and Clark needed to focus on that. This wasn’t the classy woman with her wedge shoes and her big pearl earrings from his childhood. This was a young man, dark headed and dark eyed, wearing a flannel shirt and work boots. (He’d have an easier time getting around the farm than Ms. Lane did.)

The one thing they did have in common was the bright light of curiosity in their eyes. 

“Farm fresh is one of those things you see written all over packages in the grocery store, right? They say that it’s farm fresh butter, or farm fresh cheese, and that’s almost never the case.” Clark has been practicing his little speech since he first got the email from Mr. Stilinski about wanting to come to the farm and interview him.

It’s going pretty good, if Clark can say so himself. 

“But farm to table? That’s exactly what the name implies. We work with local businesses to get them fresh produce, fresh dairy, and even fresh meat at certain times of the year.” Clark had thought about going into the logistics of meat production in a small scale business, but that kind of stuff probably wasn’t palatable. No one really wanted to know where their beef, chicken or duck was coming from. 

So he would keep to the easier things. Harvesting vegetables and fruit, and milking the cows. Everyone always got a kick out of milking the cows. 

“And I think that’s something to take pride in. Not that there’s anything wrong with mass produced food, everyone needs to eat.” There was a lot wrong with mass produced food, especially meat. Carbon emissions were a problem, as well as the discarding of less than attractive looking fruit and vegetables. But this wasn’t Clark’s pulpit. This was about the farm. 

“I like being able to walk down the street and know that what we’re doing here at the farm is nourishing people. And that it’s making them happy, too.” Clark looks over at Mr. Stilinski, who’s told him twice now to call him Stiles, but he can’t stop him from thinking about him as Mr. Stilinski, and grins. 

“We’ve come a long way from parents just slopping veggies out of a can and onto a plate.” Not that his mom ever did that. Martha Kent wasn’t a fancy cook, but she was a good one. She knew how to make the most out of what they pulled out of the ground at the farm. A little homemade butter and some herbs went a long way when it came to green beans. 

Stiles is taking notes on his phone, Clark can see his thumbs flying. That itching urge to check the screen over the top of his shoulder is there, but Clark squashes it down. It wouldn’t be polite. 

It also wouldn’t be polite to let Stiles walk into that cow patty that was right in front of him. They were crossing the pasture because it was the fastest way to get from the barn out to the fields. But it was a mine field out here, and Mr. Stilinski was about to step into one stinky mine. 

“Watch out.” But Stiles was still lifting a foot. Clark reaches out to grab slim shoulders in his hand, turning Stiles just about fifteen degrees to the left so that he bypasses the cow patty and can walk on. “Sorry. Didn’t want you to get your shoes dirty.”

Clark waits, a beat of silence as those big dark eyes zero in on him. “Dirtier. Because you’re in the dirt already. And that’s dirty. So…” Great. He sounded like an idiot. But Clark couldn’t help it. Those were the prettiest brown eyes he’d ever seen. 

Not that he was going to say or do anything about it. Clark spent enough time as a kid watching men hit on his mother when she was just trying to get her work done. That wasn’t how you showed interest in somebody. Clark was just going to let the man do his job and keep that appreciation to himself.

But Stiles just grins right back at him, and Clark breathes out a sigh of relief. “We could go into the paddock, if you wanted to see them up close and personal.” Not an improvement, Kent. “The cows. Not the cow patties. You don’t want to see them close up.”

Before he can say anything else dumb, Clark shifts away from the path towards the fields. They could go look at rows of carrots and potatoes after this. The cows were more fun, and they always appreciated the company. 

(There was more than one reason they only slaughtered once a year. Clark had a bad habit of getting attached to the cows and the pigs and ducks and chickens.)

The cows are already milling near the front of the paddock. They’re not used to being penned up during the day, so they’re curious about the change. “Alright guys, make a little room, make a little room.” Clark’s voice is soft with amusement as he nudges his way into the paddock, shoulder brushing against Stiles as he reaches behind him to shut the paddock gate behind them both. 

If they got loose now, there would be no rounding them up before nightfall. And that meant he’d put a heck of a kink in this whole interview plan. 

“I don’t know how much you’ve been around cows…” Clark tries not to assume things about people. Of course, the first time he laid eyes on Stiles, his thoughts wouldn’t have gone to reporter. So he’s not going to make any assumptions here. “But they’re pretty much like big, laid back labradors.”

Case in point, Krypto, a big old white lab who hadn’t made his way off of the porch at all when Stiles showed up. Clark had mumbled ‘some guard dog you are’ and gotten a wag of the tail for his trouble. 

“They’re curious. They’ll want to smell you.” Clark laughs as he’s jostled to the side and has to shift his stance a little wider to make room for him to stand without getting knocked over. “And they don’t realize how much they weigh. So they’ll bump into you, thinking you’re just another cow and you’ll brush it off.”

Clark reaches out, scratching behind a big ear. “This is Bessie.” He sees the look from Stiles, and laughs. “Yeah, I know. I’m not the most creative guy these days. I used that all up on Krypto.” He gestures back towards the big farm house, and the wrap around porch where his white lab was currently sunning himself, belly turned up towards the streaming sunlight.

“Bessie is one of our dairy cows. She makes the milk, which helps us make the butter and cheese.” There’s a big nose pushing into his stomach, and Clark reaches out absently to keep one of the other cows from knocking Stiles over, a big palm against his back. 

“Sorry. They mean well. They’re just…” Clark laughs. “Fat isn’t the nicest word I can think of, but it’s the only one coming to mind right about now.”

Clark chews on his lip for a minute, and tries to remember where he’s at in his bullet points for this interview. It’s long gone, because he didn’t even plan to bring Stiles over here with the cows to begin with. 

But it’s feeling nice and worth it because Stiles is smiling down at the two cows who have bunched up in front of him. Clark watches as the reporter scratches behind ears and under chins, cooing sweet nonsense to the cows that were eating up the attention. 

“We do a lot less meat sales these days.” Clark admits sheepishly. “I don’t have the heart for it. I was lucky when I was a kid that my dad never made me help when it came time for culling the herd. I got to stay inside. So now that he’s retired, I only really sell meat in special circumstances.”

Even the chickens and the ducks were too sweet for Clark to butcher them. It just wasn’t in his nature. His dad liked to call him a soft touch. Clark is pretty sure that’s just the polite word for ‘pansy’ that his dad chose. 

“We also have a small amount of rescue animals.” Clark cranes his neck, looking around at the milling cows to try and find who he was looking for. There’s a soft ‘aha’ and Clark points to the back. “That’s Petunia. She was abandoned when another farmer closed up shop. When we found her, she was all skin and bones.”

And Clark had spent more than a few nights in the barn with her, trying to get her to eat and feel better. Thankfully, the winters didn’t get too cold here, but there was at least one night that Clark slept under a blanket in the pen with her, until she was well enough to join the herd. 

“We’ve got a duck named Popcorn who my mom found in a parking lot.” He shakes his head, warm and fond. “Little guy flew right into her open truck window and sat down. He was ready to go. So Mom said it was meant to be.” 

Stiles is watching him again, though his fingers are still scratching absently at whichever cow was near enough to be under his fingers. “So you’re not the only one around here who’s adopted.”

It’s not a question, and Clark is caught off guard by the words. Stiles must have read the other article on the farm, even though it was probably printed before he was born. That was the only way Clark can think of that he would know that Clark was adopted. 

“Yeah.” Clark agrees softly after a moment of thought. He nods, and feels the words really settle into him. “Yeah, we’re big on adoption around here.” For a moment, Stiles looks like he’s thinking about apologizing. But he smiles when Clark smiles. 

“And since you’re here, why don’t you go ahead and help me get everyone fed? That way you get a feel for what a day in the life on the Kent farm is really like.”

[valentines-in-london]

I Need Fire (Part 3)

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Chapter Summary:  Rayne gave Tommy a proposition at the Roxy four days ago and is doubting her decision to do so.  Will the eager drummer find his girl?   Authors Note:  Wow!  Thank you all for the great feedback on Part 2!  Keep it coming I absolutely love to hear it.  This chapter I don’t know what got into me, but I just kept writing.  You’re in for a lot of stuff in this chapter. 

Music Inspiration:  All Motley this chapter! Merry Go Round, Take Me To The Top, Starry Eyes, Toast of The Town, Too Fast For Love, Tonight

Warning:  This chapter starts to get a little hot and heavy with some dirty talk.  Also I’m not good with writing about drugs so in general this story probably isn’t going to have a ton of detail about that, it’ll mostly be references… but we all know what Tommy was doing right?

Word Count: 5,475

Taglist: @triplehaitches @freddiessmallnipples send me an ask if you want to be added!

Chapter 3

The alarm went off next to the bed jolting Rayne awake, fuck how was it already 5am?  The California sun wasn’t even shining through the blinds yet when Rayne threw the covers off of herself and reached for her pack of cigarettes.  

“Alright, get up, you can do it.” Rayne said quietly to herself trying to find the motivation to get up and go to work.  She had never been a morning person ever since she was a little kid. Continuing to puff on her cigarette she grabbed her uniform throwing it over her shoulder as she silently made her way down the hall towards the bathroom.  She made sure to be quiet in the mornings because Jo didn’t have to be up as early as she did, sometimes the bathroom door was in agreement with remaining quiet, other times not.  Luckily for Rayne this morning the bathroom door closed quietly.

Even though she probably stayed in the shower for a little bit too long, eventually Rayne left the bathroom, a mass of steam following her as she walked to the kitchen for her not so healthy breakfast.  She had gotten into a major routine since getting a job at the hospital as an x-ray tech.  So much so that it didn’t even register to her to actually turn the coffee pot on in the morning anymore, she just did it instinctively.  Rayne was lucky to have gotten a great paying Monday through Friday job so she always had her weekends free, but if she was being honest with herself she went out on a lot of weeknights too.  The candle was burning at both ends but a girl was only 23 once in her life, and Rayne never wanted to look back on her life with regret.

While waiting for the coffee to finish Rayne lit up another cigarette and let her thoughts drift. It had been four days since the night at the Roxy and if she was being honest she had kicked herself every day since.  She knew why she was playing so hard to get - it was a defense mechanism, and she hated that about herself.  She knew she could be bitchy but it was definitely time to pump the breaks, Tommy seemed to genuinely be into her if for nothing else but her looks.  “Oh god I’m an idiot, I should’ve just told him my name, he’s never gonna fuckin find me.  Who do I think I am Farrah fucking Fawcett?”

The smell of coffee put a pause on Rayne’s hushed criticism of herself.  Grabbing a travel mug from the cabinet she filled it to the top and headed out the door to start her day.

As she got into the rhythm of the day Rayne slowly but surely woke up.  She greeted the girls in the office and said hello to the doctors as she made her way to the front desk to begin her day.  Soon after that time started to fade away, patient after patient, room after room.  Life in a medical office in a hospital was certainly never boring. Eventually Rayne walked out of one of the exam rooms slipping a file into the folder on the wall when she looked at her watch, it was almost time for her lunch.  Time flies when you’re lookin at broken bones all day.

“Um, Rayne?” Her co-worker Jennifer approached her.  Jennifer had been in the office the longest, she was an older slightly pudgy woman.

“Yeah Jenn?” Rayne asked leaning against the wall casually.

“There’s um-someone in the office for you.”  Jennifer said cautiously slightly stammering over her words.

“Huh?  Someone for me?  Who is it?”  Rayne questioned furrowing her brow, something she knew her mother would yell at her about if she were there to see it.

“Um, I think you should just go out and see, if for nothing else than to make him leave.” Jennifer seemed exceptionally off put so Rayne quickly walked out and opened the door to the waiting room stopping in her tracks as soon as she walked through the threshold.

Standing there in the middle of the room, mostly filled with older people was none other than Tommy in a leather jacket, ripped up jeans, his hair proudly feathered out, and in his hands a bouquet of roses.  He smiled wide, holding his arms out at his sides proudly taking a few steps towards her.  “Rayne Sykes.”

Holy shit.  “You can’t be here.”  Rayne quickly said to Tommy taking a step towards him to direct him out.

“You told me to find you,” Tommy said softly holding up the roses in front of Rayne stopping her in her tracks, “So I found you.”

Rayne let out a surprised exhale and took the roses from his hand.  “I did, but you have to go I’m working.”

“It’s almost lunch time, don’t tech’s get lunch?  And if you don’t I’ll just sit here until you’re done work.”  Tommy took a step towards a chair in the room moving to sit down.  She was fairly certain that if he somehow went through the trouble to find her and show up at her job he would certainly made good on that promise. Rayne quickly grabbed his arm to stop him from sitting down.

“Okay, okay.” She hushed closing her eyes and taking a breath.  “I’ll meet you outside in ten minutes.”

“Alright, see you in ten gorgeous.”  Tommy smiled holding up her hand to glance at her watch.  “Don’t be late.”

Tommy turned on his heel and strutted out of the room whistling.  When he disappeared from view all eyes were on Rayne, both from her coworkers and patients in the waiting room.  “Okay shows over!”

Everyone quickly got back to work and stopped looking at Rayne except for Jennifer.  Rayne looked the slightly older woman dead in the eyes before saying “Don’t ask.”

It took her almost the full ten minutes to get the courage to go outside.  Rayne exited the building and saw Tommy immediately in front of the doors sitting on the stairs, his back to her. “Well are you ready for lunch?”

He quickly jumped to his feet a goofy smile on his face.  “Yes doctor.”

“Oh god, don’t even start.  And I’m not a doctor!” Rayne playfully shoved him over as they made their way down the street.

“Well, you can play doctor with me whenever you want.”  Tommy wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.  Rayne couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her lips.

“Alright Romeo.” She shook her head.  “Thanks for the flowers by the way, you didn’t have to do that.”

“Yes I did. You’re making me work for this, I gotta go full romance.”  Tommy motioned with his hands how big he was planning to go with the romance.  “Roses, sonnets, love songs, candle lit dinners…”

“Oh jesus christ.” Rayne chuckled at his statement before stopping in front of a restaurant motioning to the door, “This sandwich shop is really good.”

“After you,” Tommy opened the door for Rayne to walk through.

“Two please.” Rayne said to the hostess as she walked in.  The two sat down and quickly looked over the menu, Rayne wasn’t sure why she did she always got the same thing.  “So, how did you find me?”

“I may or may not have bribed the bartender from the other night.”  Tommy said proudly, while Rayne shot daggers at him.

“Remind me to kill David next time I see him.”  Rayne shook her head in disapproval.  Who knew one of her best friends in the scene could be bought so easily. What if Tommy was a killer? “By the way I only have until 1:30, then I have to be back.”

Before Tommy could say anything the waitress approached the table, “Do we know what we want?”

Tommy motioned for Rayne to start, “Can I do the tomato soup, the roast beef and cheese and a water?”  The waitress nodded, “And for you?”  “I’ll have the turkey club with avocado and a coke please.”

“No Jack Daniels for you?”  Rayne raised her left eyebrow as the waitress walked away.

“I could, but I want to remember this.”  Tommy smiled.

“Oh my god you are so cheesy.  You’re not actually like this.”  

“Nikki might disagree with you, but I am trying to impress you a bit.”  Tommy played with a ring on his finger.

“You know how you could impress me?”  Rayne paused until he looked at her.  She took that moment to put her hand over his to stop his fidgeting. “Just be you.”

Rayne saw Tommy exhale a bit when she said those words Rayne took her hand away from Tommy’s at the sight of him relaxing slightly.  “You look really different by the way.  Good, but different.”

She looked down at her scrubs running her fingers down to smooth them out.  “Oh you mean no makeup, tame hair and no leather?”

“Yeah exactly. Is that frowned upon in the office?”  Tommy asked reaching for Rayne’s hands taking them in his again.  Rayne shook her head nodding down to her fingers, “You see my nails?”

Tommy looked down as Rayne wiggled her fingers for him, they were painted blue and were an almond shape that stuck out past the very tips of her fingers.  “Even those are frowned upon, the color and the length. So you could imagine the horror if I showed up looking like a dominatrix.”

“Mmm,” Tommy lifted her hand and began kissing her knuckles, “But I’d like it.”

“Tommy! Stop!”  Rayne giggled pulling her hands away from his lips. As she did their waitress came back with their sandwiches.  “Thank you.  Tommy, can I ask you a very real question?”

“You can ask me anything you want.”  He said taking a big bite of his turkey sandwich.  Rayne took the opportunity of him being distracted by his food to take a look at him, this was the most well lit area she had ever been with Tommy.  Out on the balcony of the shitty LA apartment was dim at best and the other night at the club, well it was your average night club, and everyone knew club lighting had a tendency to turn fives into eights or nines.  Luckily for Rayne that wasn’t the case with Tommy, if she was being honest he was beautiful.  He had hair that looked like ravens feathers which made his pale skin look even more snow white. He had prominent cheek bones, pouty lips and his eyes were a dark chocolate brown.  As a matter of fact Rayne could see the remnants of black eyeliner outlining them making his eyes look even darker.

“Why are you going through all this trouble?  You don’t even know me.  And don’t give me the whole ‘have you looked at yourself’ bullshit.” Rayne questioned now taking a bite out of her sandwich.

Tommy took a moment to think, “Honestly, the only answer I can give is I’m just drawn to you. I feel like I have to get to know you.”  Tommy mentally applauded himself for not saying “I feel like I have to have you” which is exactly how he felt.

“What if I don’t want to get to know you?”  Rayne asked looking down at her sandwich.

“Then I will leave you alone and will consider you the one that got away for the rest of my life.” Tommy replied sincerely. “Is that what you want?”

“Lord help me, no. I don’t want that.”  Rayne looked Tommy dead in the eye.  “You know I didn’t expect this from the drummer of a band named Motley Crue.”

“Oh don’t worry I’m sure I’ll make a fool out of myself sooner rather than later.  Mick always tells me if I was in Jonestown I would’ve drank the kool-aid.”  Tommy shrugged, his casual delivery causing Rayne to let out a loud laugh receiving more than a few looks from other patrons.

“Oh, so you’re gullible.  I’ll have to keep that in mind, you never know when I may be able to use that to my advantage.” Rayne winked at Tommy.

“I should warn you,” Tommy lowered his voice, “I may be gullible but don’t get too comfortable. I’m still a bad boy.”

“Oh, I’m so scared.” Rayne teased him deciding to play along.  “And how bad exactly are you?”

“Well, you should consider yourself lucky that we were seated at a table and not a booth.” Tommy grinned, his bangs falling into his eyes making them almost appear black.

“And why is that Tommy?”  Rayne leaned forward.

“Because if we were at a booth all I’d be able to think about is how I could get you off without anyone noticing.”  He replied matter of factly.  “And then I’d think about how to keep getting you off until you had to go back to work, soaking wet and thinking of nothing else but me.”

Holy sh-“Holy shit Tommy.”  Rayne couldn’t keep her thoughts to herself.  She could feel her breath picking up at his words. Tommy kept a devilish smile plastered on his face, “What you afraid you might like that Cherry?”

At that perfect moment the waitress came over, “You two doing okay over here?”

“Perfect, I just think the check when you get a chance.”  Rayne spoke out nervously, which resulted in the waitress giving both of them a sideways look.  Taking a breath Rayne locked eyes with Tommy.  “No rock star, I know I would like it, that’s the fucking problem.”

“I don’t see how that’s a problem sweets.”  He leaned forward, shaking his hair from his eyes.  Rayne shot him a look to kill.  “Mm, those eyes are something else.  But they’re a little too telling.”  

“What are they telling you?”  Rayne took a chance and asked.

“That you want me to do all those things to you too.  That you want to be wild but no one’s ever told you it’s okay.”  Rayne went wide eyed.  Of course the waitress chose that moment to bring the check, her timing was absolutely impeccable.  Rayne was at least happy to have someone cut the tension between the two of them.  Both she and Tommy reached for the check.

“Tommy, I get paid weekly and make a decent living, no offense but I’ve seen your apartment. Let me pay for it.”  Rayne spoke.  

“Not a chance in hell.”  Tommy said slipping the check from her finger tips and walking to the front counter to pay. Rayne took a steadying breath. That was what Rayne expected talking to the drummer of Motley Crue would be like.  His bluntness startled her to be honest, their interactions prior Rayne had been in control of the conversations, but with one statement Tommy took that control.  Fuck.  Rayne looked down at her watch and saw she had five minutes to get back to the office.  She grabbed her black fuzzy purse opening it up to leave a tip on the table and got up to walk towards Tommy.

“I left a tip. I have to be back in five minutes.”  Rayne said from his side as Tommy got his change back.  The two of them walked out of the sandwich shop in silence, turning back towards the office Rayne worked.

“I’m not going to apologize for wanting you.”  Tommy broke the silence with a quiet declaration.

“I didn’t ask you to.” Rayne shook her head.

“You seriously want me to believe that no one has told you that you’re the sexiest thing they’ve ever seen?  That no one has told you that they’d do anything you asked them to just so they could touch you?”

“God Tommy, when you say things like that.  Fuck it makes me feel…”  Rayne’s voice was hushed before she trailed off.  “And yes I want you to believe that because ever since I’d been to LA the only guy that’s ever shown interest in me like that I found out took $200 from his friend because his friend wanted to fuck Jo.  The guy said I was around the apartment too much, so his friends job was to keep me out of the apartment so him and Jo could go at it alone.  I lost it when I found out, and so did Jo.”

“Holy shit.” Tommy lit up a cigarette, taking a deep breath in.  “Babe that’s so fucked up.  I’m not like that.  I promise, I would never do that.  I want you.”

They soon got to the steps outside the office.  “I should go.”

“Hey, wait.  You still have two minutes.”  Tommy grabbed her hand turning Rayne towards him.  “I’m serious Rayne. You know that’s not what’s going on here right?  Don’t you feel this, when I touch you?”

“I do.”  Rayne nodded her head looking up at him. They were electric, it seemed as though the air crackled and popped around them when they were together. Rayne knew Tommy was telling the truth, because it was her truth too.  “Fuck it.”

Rayne stood on the tips of her toes, grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him down in a kiss. She could tell Tommy was caught off guard but quickly wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her into him. They opened their mouths in unison, Tommy slipping his tongue into Rayne’s eager mouth where she returned the gesture letting out a moan of pleasure.  Pulling away before things got even more heated Rayne gave Tommy one final peck before she leaned her forehead against his shoulder. “I really should get going.”

Tommy kept his hands on Rayne’s hips holding her in place.  “We have a show every night this weekend at the Whiskey.  Tell me I’ll see you there.”

“You’ll see me there.” Rayne whispered before finally pulling away from him and rushing off to get back to work on time.  What Tommy didn’t see is Rayne steady herself against the wall as soon as she entered trying to calm her breathing down.  She brought her finger tips to her lips still able to feel Tommy’s kiss on them.  Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Oh, I really like him!  

What Rayne couldn’t see was Tommy’s smile and him throwing his fist in the air to shout an enthusiastic “YES” at anyone who was walking by and cared to listen to his joy. Before he headed home Tommy even went so far as to grab a doctor by the shoulders and happily exclaim “She kissed me dude!”

Two Days Later

Rayne was filled with anxiety as she and Jo walked up to The Whiskey arm in arm, the line wound around the street.  “I didn’t think there would be this many people.”  Rayne stated honestly looking at the length of the line.

“Well luckily for us we are not poseurs, we know every door man, bartender and security guard in this city.”  Jo said confidently walking up to the tall man at the door.  “Hello Harry!”

“Hi, gorgeous.” Harry smiled giving Jo a huge hug before wrapping up Rayne in an embrace.  “You two ladies here for the show?  Or just cruising the strip?”

“Oh we’re here for the show.”  Rayne smiled wide before motioning to the line.  “But it looks like we’ll have to wait in line.”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to, it’s out of my hands.”  Harry nodded before stepping to the side gesturing for the two of them to walk into the club, “Have a good night ladies.”

Jo lifted up on the tips of her toes and kissed Harry on the cheek, “You’re the best Harry.”

The two girls walked into the club, heading straight for the bar to grab some drinks.  “Ray I can’t wait for you to see them, they are so kick ass!  You should be happy your man is hidden behind a drum kit because the girls practically crawl all over each other to get a piece of the guys.”

“Thanks Jo,” Rayne said sarcastically, “That makes me feel great.  Also he’s not my man, we just kissed.”

“Mmmhmm, not buying it.”  Jo smiled before ordering two drinks from the bartender.  Rayne took a moment to look around the crowd, it was packed wall to wall with people all here to see Motley Crue, they must have been great live.  One thing she couldn’t help but notice was all the beautiful women in scantily clad outfits sauntering all over the club.  Jo recognized the look on Rayne’s face immediately, “Hey!  Tommy said it himself, he likes you.  Don’t feel insecure because of these wannabe bitches.”

Rayne gave her friend a small smile before taking her glass of whisky from the bar.  “Thanks Jo.”

“No problem, now stop sulking and lets find our guys.”  Jo smiled pushing her way through the crowd.  Rayne loved to watch Jo work the room, saying hello to everyone even people she didn’t know.  “I see one of them over here!”

Rayne looked up and spotted Nikki’s unmistakable palm tree hair immediately, and standing next to him was Tommy.  Both were dressed to the hilt in leather, studs and chains.  Tommy even wore a pair of high heeled stiletto boots making him even taller than usual.  As the girls approached the two men who were surrounded by people Rayne was happy to stand above most of them, as Tommy immediately looked in her general direction.

Tommy stepped past a blonde that was talking to him causing her to turn around with a sour look on his face.  He made his way through the group of people to Rayne, “You came.”

“I told you I would.” Rayne smiled.  “We were just looking for a good place to stand to see the show.  I don’t want to take your time away from the people you were talking to though.”

Tommy stepped right into Rayne’s personal space, slipping his arms around her hips resting them on her ass.  “Fuck them, I want to be with you.”

Rayne smiled feeling her cheeks get hot. “Well here I am.”  This was the most made up she had seen Tommy since meeting him, his face was pale with foundation, eyes dusted with fuchsia shadow and dramatically lined.  “Nice makeup, I think you’re wearing even more than me.”

Now it was Tommy’s turn to be nervous, “Yeah I don’t really know what the fuck I’m doing dude. We do it for the stage.”

“You’re missing something though.”  Rayne raised an eyebrow, mustering all the confidence she had in her.

“Wha-“ was all Tommy could get out before Rayne kissed him, undoubtedly leaving some bright red lipstick behind.  She was careful to not move too much, not wanting to wreck hers or Tommy’s makeup.

“Lipstick.” Rayne smiled while pulling away from his mouth, her eyes falling to his lips happy to see that they were indeed flushed with red now.  Tommy smiled as he grabbed a handful of Rayne’s ass startling her.  “I’m gonna get you back for that you know.”

“Looking forward to it.”  Rayne winked.

“You look amazing tonight.”  Tommy looked down appreciatively.  Rayne decided to be a bit bolder tonight wearing a tight black leather mini skirt with black stockings with a line traveling from her high heeled ankle boots all the way up her legs disappearing under the skirt.  The skirt sat high on Rayne’s waist and pulled her in creating an hourglass shape.  For a top she wore a spiked bra, and an off the shoulder oversized fishnet shirt. For makeup she wore her signature red lip, a thin layer of foundation and smoky eyeliner.

“Thanks.”  Rayne smiled, “I think you might be a bit prettier than me tonight though.”

“Not a chance baby.” Tommy said happily.  “You’re the best looking girl in this room.”

“Uh huh.”  Rayne said softly standing on the tips of her toes, “Nice cod piece by the way.  I’m not sure it’s big enough.”

“You wanna find out?” Tommy teased giving her ass another squeeze.

“Hey T-Bone, we gotta go back we’re on in fifteen.”  Nikki approached his drummer giving a nod of acknowledgement to Rayne and Jo.

“Answer my question.” Tommy pushed again.

“I do want to find out, but you have more important things to do.  Get back there.”  Rayne could only imagine what it would be like to be with Tommy.  If he was this intense, this passionate just in conversation she couldn’t imagine what he would be like in bed.  The thought certainly excited her.

“I don’t wanna leave you.”  Tommy whispered leaning in for another kiss, bringing Rayne back from her x-rated thoughts.

“I’ll see you after, and Jo and I will be right here when you guys go on.  Look we have a perfect view of the drums.”  Rayne pulled back before he could kiss her. It was now Rayne’s turn to give him a little smack on his ass.  “Have a great show.”

Reluctantly Tommy let go of Rayne and turned to walk backstage with Nikki.  Jo turned to her friend grabbing her shoulder and playfully shaking.  “Holy shit you two are fucking fire!  I’m hot and bothered just watching the two of you.”

“Oh shut up Jo, you are not!”  Rayne laughed looking down at the floor.

“I couldn’t believe you kissed him in front of everyone!  Girl if looks could kill you’d have a hundred daggers in your back.”  Jo said quietly in her friends ear so no prying eyes would hear.  “He’s so into you Ray, my aunt always told me ‘you never have to question if a guy is into you’ and girl the way he looks at you, the way he grabbed your ass…”

“Jo!  Oh my god stop!”  Rayne laughed slightly embarrassed.  “We’re just having fun.”

“I never would’ve guessed Tommy was into fat girls.”  Rayne heard from behind her making her smile fall, it was obvious that was the intention of the blonde behind her who said it.  It was the blonde that she saw talking to Tommy before she came over.  To be honest the statement did hurt, but Rayne also knew that the woman was trying to get a rise out of her.

“What are you jealous that as soon as I walked over he left you?”  Rayne questioned taking a sip of her whisky.  As soon as Rayne replied Jo grabbed her arm, a non verbal cue not to get too hyped.

“Bitch I fucked him last week, so I don’t know who you are but there’s no way he’s gonna give this up for your fat ass.”  The blonde spat her words at Rayne.  Rayne could tell she obviously touched a nerve with her question.

“Well I hope it was good for you, because I don’t think he’s gonna be fucking you anymore.” Rayne said simply shrugging her shoulders.  “He’s got his hands full.”

“Fuck you cunt. You’re gonna pay for this.” The blonde claimed before walking away.

“Holy shit.”  Jo exclaimed looking over at Rayne.  “I would ask if you were okay but I feel like I should be asking her instead.  She’s got claw marks in her from those words.”

“I don’t get it, aren’t you fucking the lead singer?  Shouldn’t you be the one dealing with catty girls?”  Rayne questioned.

“Yeah well the lead singer didn’t publicly shun me for another girl.”  Jo replied matter of factly and Rayne rolled her eyes at the remark.

“That’s ridiculous.” She exclaimed.

“I’m proud of you though, you stood up for yourself.”  Jo smiled as the house lights dimmed and Motley Crue took the stage. Tommy was the first one to come out to raucous applause.  He stood on his drum stool shouting as he raised his drum sticks above his head, which got an even bigger rise out of the crowd.  He looked like a kid on Christmas, full of enthusiasm. Next out was Nikki who had since she saw him put on thigh high red leather boots with heels, almost matching Tommy’s black pair.  Then Mick, who struck a power chord with his guitar that received a response from the crowd. And of course last was Vince who received a particularly high pitched scream from Jo.

The set lasted about forty-five minutes and it was pure bliss, unapologetic, in your face rock n fucking roll.  Rayne had never seen a show like that in the clubs, they had mannequins dripping with blood, pyro, and Nikki even lit himself on fire (something he apparently does quite often).  Jo was right, the band was gonna be big, it was only a matter of time until they got signed by a label.  No one could ignore Motley Crue.

Some of the crowd began to leave after Motley played, but the vast majority hung around ordering drinks, listening to the DJ continue to play rock until closing time. Rayne and Jo were in the middle of a conversation when Rayne found her feet leaving the ground, and a pair of lanky arms wrapping around her waist.  “Well, what did you think babe?”

“Tommy!”  Rayne squealed, “Put me down.”

“Only because you asked so nicely.”  Tommy replied putting Rayne’s heels back down on the floor.  He pushed Rayne’s red hair over her shoulder exposing her neck.  Tommy was quick to nuzzle his head into Rayne’s neck, peppering kisses up and down her exposed skin.  “Well?”

“You guys kicked ass!” Rayne enthusiastically replied trying to turn her head to look at Tommy.  “Tommy you’re tickling me!”

Rayne turned in his arms, looking up at him.  His hair was covered in sweat, bangs stuck to his forehead, his makeup had smeared but surprisingly stayed in place really well.  One thing she couldn’t help but notice was a white powder that was easily seen on Tommy’s nose, that could explain his enthusiasm and endless energy.  Rayne reached up and tenderly brushed the powder away.

“I don’t have a problem or anything.”  Tommy quickly said.

“I didn’t say you did. I’m not your mother, I’ll never tell you what to do.”  Rayne said simply.  “You know I can’t do that stuff with you right?  I’d lose my job.”

“I’d never ask you to do anything you didn’t want to.”  Tommy promised and Rayne nodded.  She felt a bit torn to be honest, she didn’t love the idea of Tommy snorting god knows what up his nose.  She’d spent enough time in hospitals and even in school to know the results were usually never good.  But this is also something she knew she’d be getting into if she were to pursue anything with a musician.  Drugs were rampant on the strip and you were in the minority if you didn’t partake which Rayne never did.  With a band name like Motley Crue she had to acknowledge what she signed up for with Tommy.

“Not to change the subject but something interesting happened to me after you left before.” Rayne played with Tommy’s hair as she spoke.  

“What happened?” Tommy asked concerned.

“Some cunt called her fat.”  Jo inserted herself into the conversation obviously still angry.  “I wanted to beat the shit out of her but Rayne held her own.”

“Someone called you what?” Tommy’s voice raised obviously upset. “Who?”

“Some bitch you apparently fucked last week.”  Jo answered before Rayne could.

“Thank you Jo!” Rayne shouted before grabbing Tommy’s chin to force him to look at her.  “Hey, eyes here.  It’s no big deal.  It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve heard it, and it won’t be the last. Especially if you’re always so god damn affectionate in public.”

“It still doesn’t mean I have to like it.”  Tommy shrugged his shoulders upwards.  “And I’ll never stop being affectionate.  If I’m close to you and not touching you it’s like a poet not having pain.”

“Oh my god stop it!” Rayne laughed at Tommy.  “I know you said you have to go full romance, but that’s too much even for me.  Plus that wasn’t very good.”

“What?  Come on!  That was beautiful.”  Tommy put a hand over his heart feigning hurt.

“Read some Shakespeare or Jane Austen and get back to me.”  Rayne winked at him looking over to Jo.

“Yeah Tommy, she’s obsessed with Jane Austen.  I’m actually a bit concerned for her.”  Jo smiled at her best friend.

“What can I say literary men are just better.”  Rayne shrugged her shoulders looking up at Tommy.  “At least they were… jury’s still out on my final verdict.”

That caused Tommy flash a beautiful bright smile.  “Alright enough of you two love birds where’s the party going to now?” Jo questioned causing Tommy to laugh.

“No party tonight, me and the boys are going to the Rainbow for some post show drinks and food. You ladies want to join?  Jo I’m sure Vince wouldn’t mind your presence.”

“Fuck yeah.” “Of course.”  The girls said at the same time.

That was the night Motley Crue got signed to Elektra Records.  And things were about to change drastically…

**** Well there you have it!  Like I said I don’t know what came over me, this chapter was way longer than I expected.  What do we think of the banter between the two now that the devil on Tommy’s shoulder has come out to play??  What do you think is gonna happen next?  Let me know!  xo

[milieumarch]

The Fallout of Fall Festival [2/2]

Here is part 2 (and the final part) of The Fallout of Fall Festival!  More Nolan family cuteness, more angst, and a self-righteous Liam await you.  Thank you for reading and thank you to @teamhook again for your help during the early stages.  Enjoy!

Rating: T for language Word Count: approx. 10K

pt. 1

FFN | AO3

Emma trudged into Granny’s Diner the Tuesday after the fall festival.

“Hey there!” Ruby greeted cheerily.

“Hot chocolate and French toast,” Emma grumbled in reply.

“Good morning, Ruby, so good to see you.  How are you today?  I’m great, Emma, thanks for asking.  And how are you?”

“I’ll be better once I have some hot chocolate and French toast.”

“Emma, what’s wrong? I thought you’d be happier or something.”

“Because I’m getting my hot chocolate and French toast soon?”

Ruby sighed and stomped off to place the order and get Emma a hot chocolate.  She slid the beverage across the counter to Emma.  “There.  You going to tell me now what’s got you in a worse mood than you’ve been in for the past two weeks?”

Emma sipped at her hot chocolate.  “I’m sorry, Ruby.  It’s not you.”

“I’m guessing you haven’t heard the news if you’re like this.”

Emma’s head shot up.  “What news?”

Ruby grinned wolfishly.  “Milah checked out on Saturday.”

Emma’s face crumpled.  “She’s already moved in with him?  But I haven’t even moved most of my stuff out or given my key back.  My name’s still on the lease.  What—”

“Emma, Emma, Emma,” Ruby interrupted.  “She didn’t move in with him.”

Emma’s brow furrowed.  “Then where did she go?”

“She left Storybrooke.  I heard something about New York or Chicago.”

“But—Killian’s still here.”

“Yes.”

“And he’s not going with her?”

“No, you idiot.  They’re not together.  They met and talked here a couple of times while she was here, but she’s gone now.”

“She’s . . . gone.  But he’s here?”

“Yes, Emma!  That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

A smile broke across Emma’s face.  “He didn’t go with her,” she whispered to herself.

Ruby stepped away and came back with Emma’s French toast.  “So—what are you going to do about it?”

“Well, since my shift starts in twenty minutes, right now I’m going to eat my breakfast and then head to the sheriff’s station.”

“Emma,” Ruby whined.

“But, I get off at 5.  So tonight—tonight, I think I’m going to talk to the man I love.”

Ruby squealed and ran around the counter.  She wrapped her arms around Emma as she bounced up and down.  “I’m so happy,” she shrieked.  “Your and Killian’s first meal here is on the house.  Wait until I tell Belle.”

“Ruby, no telling anybody.  He might not even want to get back together.”

“Emma Swan, you’ve got to be joking.  He’s been moping around here just as much as you’ve been.”

“I have not been moping,” Emma said petulantly, shoving some French toast into her mouth.

“Right, of course.  I’ll wait for you to actually talk to him before I tell anyone.  But I’ve got my money on you two being back in here together by the end of the week.”

“Finger crossed,” Emma responded with a grin. Ruby got flagged down by another customer and left Emma to finish up her breakfast and head to work.

She first found out about her during a lazy night on the couch.

She was stretched out across the couch with her head in his lap, one of his hands lightly stroking through her hair while the other rested on her arm.  The television was playing some procedural drama, an episode from one of the millions of Law & Orders or CSIs.

They had been dating for just over a month and both knew at least the bare bones of each other’s backstories: her time in foster care and then prison, his father’s drinking problems and subsequent abandonment.  Which is why she felt no hesitation at all when she pulled the hand that was resting on her arm closer to her and stroked over the inky lines drawn there.

“Who’s Milah?”

He sucked in a harsh breath and tensed beneath her, the hand in her hair curling in on itself.

She raised herself off his lap so she could see his face better.  “Killian?”

He opened and shut his tense jaw before muttering, “Someone from years ago.”

“Must be important if you have her name on your arm.”

“She is—was,” he replied.  “No longer.”

Emma rubbed his arm above the tattoo.  “What happened?”

His jaw clenched tighter and the muscle jumped.  “You’re prying, Swan.”

“Oh.” She dropped her gaze and his arm while sliding away from him.

He groaned from the back of his throat and reached out with both arms, gently pulling her back to him.  She tensed, but he brushed a kiss over her temple and ran his hand over her spine. “It’s all right, Swan.”  Killian grabbed her hand and rubbed his thumb across her fingers a couple times before opening his mouth.  “I met her in my sophomore year of college.  She was several years older but young in spirit. I was twenty years old; I wanted freedom and adventure and someone beautiful by my side to share it with, and that’s exactly what she was.  During the summer break, we would travel anywhere we wanted to, as long as we could travel cheap.  We would sneak into plays or museums or wherever the guard wasn’t paying too close attention.  Then, during the school year, I would go back to my studies, and she would continue on.

“This continued into my senior year.  She didn’t come to my graduation ceremony, but as soon as it was over, she was there, ready to take off.  Of course, Liam, being a level-headed adult and all, didn’t approve.  He wanted to talk about job prospects, said he could get me a job with some of his connections.  But I wasn’t ready to be Liam.  So I went with Milah and we continued our whirlwind tour of the world. We worked whatever odd jobs we could get and once those jobs were up, it was time to go.  It was fun, and she loved it, so I thought I did.”

He paused and clenched the fingers of the hand not in hers into a fist and then extended them, repeating the motion a few times.  Emma pressed a kiss against the sleeve of his shirt at his shoulder. “You don’t have to—”

“A little over two years into that life, I broke my wrist.  It was a simple fracture, the bone wasn’t even displaced, and it wouldn’t have been a big deal to fix.  But we were in a small village where we didn’t speak their language and they didn’t speak any we knew.  It took forever to explain to anyone what was wrong and once I did get a little medical attention, I realized I couldn’t do—well, any of the jobs like I’d been doing the past few years.  And I had no savings and really nothing to my name other than some clothes in a duffle bag.

“I realized then that maybe it was time to follow Liam into levelheaded adulthood. And I told Milah.  I told her we should pick somewhere and we would settle down there.  We’d get real jobs, save up for a house, and start our lives.  And she laughed at me.  She said she didn’t want to become those people she saw working 9-to-5’s and going home to eat roast beef with their picture-perfect family, drowning in routine to the tune of top 40 hits.  I tried to argue: we didn’t have to become those people; we could still be us, just doing different things, staying in one place.  But she didn’t see it.

“I asked her to think about it.  She said she would, reluctantly.  We decided to go visit Liam and passed through a few places on our way there. Liam had just started to get serious with Elsa, and seeing him talking about moving in together and even proposing made me want that life. I brought it up to Milah again, just to see if she’d given it more thought.  I told her that we could settle down here and be near Liam and Elsa and the sea, but she kept trying to figure out where we should go next.

“While we were with Liam, I asked him if he could get me an interview at the docks. I thought, maybe if she saw that it could actually work, she could settle.  I didn’t tell her about the interview until the day it was happening. She was confused at first but seemed excited for me once I’d talked it up some more.  She wished me luck, gave me a kiss, and sent me out the door.  The interview went well, so I decided we’d go out for dinner.  I got back to our room at Granny’s and Milah was gone, along with all her stuff.  She left a note, something about my happiness and her happiness no longer following the same path.  And that was it.”

He bowed his head, and Emma squeezed his hand.  She leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek before resting her head on his shoulder and letting the silence take hold.

Killian sucked in a deep breath.  “Well, that’s some heavy conversation.  Sorry, love.”

“No, no.  I’m glad you told me.  I was the one who brought it up.”

“Well, now you’ve got one more piece of the Killian Jones tragedy.”

She tilted her head to kiss his collarbone.  “You’re not a tragedy.  Maybe just a little dark in some places.”

He gave her a wan smile before capturing her lips with his as a response.

“So,” she said as she pulled away with a grin, “when do you permanently etch my name onto your skin?”

He chuckled.  “Love, I’ve learned that, as romantic as they may seem, tattoos are a selfish expression of love and do more to remind the bearer.  So I don’t believe I’ll be tattooing the names of any woman—or anyone, for that matter—onto myself ever again.”

She stared up at him with her green eyes questioning.  “Did you love her?”

He stiffened and then hummed in response, neither affirming nor denying.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Emma stood abruptly. “It’s late.  I should get to sleep.”

“You can stay here,” he offered quickly.  She smirked at him mischievously so he added, “Not for that, much as I do enjoy our activities.  I have to be at work early.  You just wouldn’t have to drive home at this hour.”

“Some other time.  I should go back to my apartment tonight.”

He nodded and she leaned over, placing a kiss next to his hairline before sweeping a hand through his hair.  She stepped around him, but before she could head towards the door, he grabbed her hand.

“Swan?”

“Hm?”

“You’re important to me.”

A tired grin took over her face and she leaned over, this time giving him a proper kiss.  His thumb stroked across her cheek a couple times before she pulled back.  “Good night, Killian.”  She gathered her purse, pulled on her shoes and left his apartment.

“So, little brother,” Liam started, turning to his brother who was sitting on the chair in Liam’s and Elsa’s living room. “I hear that Milah has departed.”

Killian focused on his fingers tapping against the arm of the chair.  “Younger brother.  And yes.  She left on Saturday.”

“You’re not upset about this?”

“Not particularly, no.  It was nice to see her and get some closure on that chapter of my life.”

“Chapters can be re-opened.”

“I have no interest in revisiting that one.”

The conversation halted and Killian pushed all his concentration toward his fingers hitting the fabric of the chair and away from his racing thoughts.

“Oh bloody hell, Killian, what the devil are you doing?”

Killian jolted at his brother’s outburst.  “I’m spending time with my older brother. Watching the football game.”  He gestured innocently to the television.

“I don’t mean right now, you git!  What are you doing with your life?  Milah, then Emma, then Milah again.  And now you’re just sulking in my bloody living room.”

“First of all, brother, there was no second time with Milah,” Killian growled.  “And second, the only reason I’m in your bloody living room is that you asked me over here.”

“Oh, even you have to know that was just to check up on you.  As if you had any plans besides finding the bottom of a bottle had you not come over here.”

“On the contrary, I was planning to go see Emma this evening.”

Liam’s back straightened.  “Emma?  You two have reconciled?” he asked, his voice softening in his surprise.

“Not yet.  That was the hope for tonight.”

Liam frowned.  “Killian, have you thought about this?”

“Of course I’ve thought about it.  I haven’t been able to think about anything else for the past two weeks.”

“And you’re sure it’s what you want to do?” Killian could hear the restraint in his brother’s voice.

“More than anything else I’ve ever wanted to do,” he responded resolutely.

Liam sighed deeply.  “You know I just want you to be happy, Killian?”

“Yes, Liam.  But sometime you have to trust me.  Being with Emma does make me happy.  And I miss her.”

“Killian, I—”  Liam paused and swallowed.  “I know that I’m hard on you.  Unnecessarily so.  Elsa has given me quite the earful about it during the past few weeks.  I just—I remember the Killian you were after Milah left the first time.  And her being back made me think of that time more and more.  I don’t want to see my little brother like that again.”

“I was a miserable git back then, wasn’t I?” Killian joked.

“Aye,” Liam said, still serious.  “And you weren’t interested in anything or anyone. I think you only stuck around Storybrooke because you didn’t have the will to go anywhere else.”

“You know that’s not true.  You were here.  And Elsa.”

“Yes, but that alone was never enough to keep you in one place.  It was like you shipwrecked yourself here and couldn’t escape.  But now, even though I think you have that will and passion back that could take you somewhere else, you may actually like it here and won’t leave.”

Killian locked eyes with his brother.  “Only if Emma asks.  But I do like it here.  I like being near you and Elsa.”

“And we love having you, brother.”

“Liam, I’m sorry for everything you had to put up with those first few years I was here.  And that I sort of relapsed the past two weeks.  You and Elsa have been so supportive both times, and I will be forever grateful.”

“You’re my little brother.  It’s your job to annoy me.”  The brothers both chuckled.  “I am sorry about the things that I said about Emma when you first showed up.  I thought she was doing the same thing Milah did.”

“All is forgiven.”  Killian laced his fingers together and nervously twirled a ring around his finger.  “Let’s just hope the same will be said of things between me and Emma.”

“Oh, I think you’ve got a pretty good chance. Who would be foolish enough to turn down a Jones brother?”

“I can think of a few girls who did just that back in your younger days.”

“That they did,” Liam laughed.  “But I ended up with the prettiest girl, so more fool on them.”

“Second prettiest,” Killian chided.  “Only I, the handsomer of the brothers Jones, could woo the prettiest.”

“I believe I remember a good couple years of you getting turned down left and right before the woman let you even take her to dinner.”

“She couldn’t handle it.”  Killian smiled to himself.  “I couldn’t have handled it.  God knows, I am barely capable now.”

The corner of Liam’s mouth ticked upward in a fond smirk.  “She’s important to you, isn’t she?”

“She’s very important.  She’s—my soulmate and the love of my life.  And I fully intend to marry her someday.”  He shoved his hand into his pocket and closed his fingers around the box inside.

“My little Killian.  Going to make an honest woman out of the sheriff!”

“At least you know that she’ll keep me out of trouble.”

Showing up at his brother’s doorstep not even two hours after his fight with Emma was nowhere close to Killian’s greatest moments.

The door swung open and Elsa stared back at him, surprised but elated to see him. “Killian!  Come in, come in.”  He shuffled through the door, numbly hearing Elsa call through the house for his brother before turning back to him.  “Liam told me there was quite the event down at Granny’s today.  He told me you would probably be spending all evening at home with Emma—”

Misery streaked through Killian’s body and across his face, and he lacked the will to silence the choked sound that came out of him.

“Killian?” Elsa murmured.  “Killian, what happened?”

He looked at her with burning eyes and she surged forward and wrapped her arms around him.  “Oh god, Killian.”

Liam chose that moment to stride into the entryway.  “Little brother!  I hope you’re not using my absence to make any moves on my wife.  You have your own lass—”  He stopped as he noticed his brother’s posture and how Killian failed to respond with a reminder that it’s “younger brother”.  “Killian?  Brother?”

“Emma left,” Killian finally managed to rasp out.

“What?!” Liam shouted.  “I’ll go talk to her.”  He surged forward but was quickly caught by his wife who had released Killian.

“You will do no such thing.  You need to be here for your brother,” Elsa commanded.  “Killian, have you eaten yet?”

Killian shook his head softly, and Elsa laid her hand on his arm.  “Go sit with your brother, and I will finish preparing dinner.

“No, Elsa, I can’t intrude.”

“There’s plenty of food and I insist.  Now go.”  She pushed both men towards the living room with a muttered “behave” to her husband.

Liam clapped a hand onto his brother’s shoulder and guided him to the couch in the living room.  “Stay,” Liam ordered, disappearing into the kitchen and reappearing with a bottle of rum and two glasses.  He poured rum into both glasses and handed one to Killian.

“Might as well hand me the bottle,” Killian muttered.

“One glass.  You can get sloshed later.”  Liam pointedly moved the bottle far away from his brother as he sat on a chair facing the couch.  “Now, you want to give me an explanation that’s longer than two words?”

“We got in a fight and she packed a bag and left.”

“A fight?  Over Milah?”

“Sort of.  That’s how it started, at least.”

“And where did it end?”

“She started talking about space and time and ‘figuring out what I really wanted’. And then she had a bag packed and I snapped.  I said she’d been trying to run since we got together and this was just her excuse. And then more shouting and she left.”

Liam hummed in response.

Killian looked up from his glass of rum to see his brother with a contemplative look on his face.  “What are you thinking, brother?”

Liam sighed.  “Listen, brother, I know this isn’t what you want to hear right now.  But maybe this could be a good thing?  It’s like you said, Emma’s always been a runner.  She ran away from foster homes as a kid, she ran from town to town as an adult.  Hell, she would’ve run away after meeting her parents if she hadn’t crashed her car into the town sign.  Maybe her running now is a sign.”

Killian stared at his brother wide-eyed.  “Liam—”

“Things ended between you and Milah because she couldn’t stay still, not even for you.  Emma has the same problem.  And, Killian, I’ve got to say, I don’t think Emma is good for you.  She was always going to break your heart.”

“Liam!” shouted Elsa, who had just entered the room.  “Leave him alone.”  Killian nodded to her gratefully before she continued.  “Dinner is ready, for those of us who can remain civil.”

The two brothers, Liam looking suitably chastised but not regretful, followed Elsa to the kitchen where three plates were set out ready to be loaded with pasta. Each person took some pasta, sat at the table and began eating (or, in Killian’s case, limply twirling pasta around his fork).

“So,” Elsa began, “any interesting boats down at the docks?”

“Same old, same old,” Killian grumbled.

“That’s not true.  Leroy brought in a fishing canoe that he nearly snapped in half.”

Killian scoffed.  “That’s nothing new.  He’s had to bring in that canoe four times in the past two years.”

Liam laughed and replied, “At this point, it would be better to shoot it and put it out of its misery.”

Killian smirked, earning a hopeful smile from Elsa.

“And there’s a beautiful pair of twin wooden boats.  Guess what they’re named,” Liam teased.

“No telling with this town.  What?”

“Chip and Dale.”  Liam grinned at Elsa’s giggles.

“This town’s sense of humor is something else,” she laughed.

Once Elsa calmed down, the three lapsed into silence, except for the sound of Liam slurping noodles and Killian’s fork tapping against the plate.

“Table manners, Liam,” Elsa chided.  “So . . . are you two excited about the festival in a couple weeks?”

A pained noise burst from Killian’s mouth and Elsa gasped.

“Oh my god, Killian, I’m so sorry.  I completely forgot that you and Em—that you usually help out the Nolans with these events. I shouldn’t have asked; I’m so sorry.”

“It’s all right, Elsa.  It’s a fun event either way.”  Killian dropped his fork and opted to stare at his pasta listlessly rather than even try to eat.

“See, Killian?  You can go back to your old ways of not having to pretend to have town spirit! Avoid all the festivals and setting up booths and children’s games.”

“I actually liked them,” Killian commented, at the same time as Elsa’s reprimanding “Liam!”

“You used to hate when the whole town decided to decorate with pumpkins and wheat. And you always complained about them shutting down Main Street.  You no longer have to deal with all that, little brother.”

“Younger, Liam.  And maybe I only hated it all because, back then, I was bloody miserable all the time.” Killian slid his chair back forcefully and stood.  “It was a bloody stupid idea to come here.  Thank you for the meal, Elsa, but I’ll go home now.”

“We’re not done here, Killian,” Liam barked.

“Yes, we are,” Killian growled in response, stomping towards the front door.

Both Elsa and Liam stood to follow him, but Elsa fixed Liam with a deadly glare. “Sit,” she commanded, adding on “You can be quite the ass, Liam Jones,” before chasing after Killian.

She caught him right before he went through the door.  “Killian, wait!”  He turned and looked at her with burning eyes.  “You don’t have to talk to your brother, and I wouldn’t if I were you. But you should stay here tonight. The guest bedroom is yours, and you shouldn’t be alone.”

“Elsa, I—”  He started to protest but then thought about it.  “I really don’t want to go back to that apartment tonight.”

Elsa nodded understandingly and lightly grabbed Killian’s arm.  “I’ll get it set up for you.”

He pulled away in the living room to grab the bottle of rum from earlier and then followed Elsa willingly.  She handed him some sheets from a closet in the guest bedroom and then they both made the bed together.

Once all the sheets were on, Elsa stepped back.  “I’ll just let you get some rest.”

Killian smiled wanly.  “Elsa. Thank you.”

“I’m sorry that Liam can be such a self-righteous bastard sometimes.  He shouldn’t have said that.”

“I don’t know.  Maybe he’s right about everything.  Or maybe—maybe—”

“Maybe?”

“Maybe I just chased off the best thing to ever happen to me,” he sighed.

Elsa’s expression melted into pity.  “Oh, Killian.”  She pulled him into her arms and held him there as he buried his head into her shoulder. He took a few deep breaths before pulling back and reaching for the rum bottle.

Elsa wrapped a hand around it before he got it open.  “You should lay off for tonight.  There’s plenty of time for this later, but tonight, you should process. With a clear head.”

Killian groaned but relinquished the bottle.  “Tomorrow, that bottle is mine.”

“Of course.  Want me to write your name on it in Sharpie?”

“Perhaps.”  He twisted his hands together.  “Elsa, could you—tomorrow, could you check on Emma?  You’re her friend, and I—I said some mean things.  She’s probably with her parents, but still . . .”

“I was planning on going anyway, Killian.  But yes, I’ll make sure she’s okay.”

Killian relaxed.  “You’re too good for my git of a brother.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Elsa shot back.  She hugged Killian one more time before leaving with the rum bottle in her hand.

After the door was shut, Killian paced between the door and the window a few times, but he only walked for a couple of minutes before he collapsed on the bed and let sobs overtake him.

Killian wasn’t at his—their—apartment when she knocked, so, deciding that this conversation couldn’t wait, she went to the next most likely place for Killian to be at this hour: Liam and Elsa’s house.

She knocked on the door, curling her fingers around the sleeve of her leather jacket.

The door swung open to reveal the wrong Jones brother.  “Liam, hi!” she greeted.

“Emma.  What a surprise.”

She bit her lip.  “Uh, yeah.  I was looking for Killian, but he wasn’t at the apartment.  Is he here?”

“Uh, no, he just left actually.  Can I take a message?” he joked weakly.

“No, no, that’s fine.  Do you know where he went?”

“He didn’t mention.”  Liam fiddled with the doorknob absentmindedly.  “Emma, would you come in for a few minutes?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.”  Liam stepped out of the way and let Emma into his house.  He gestured to the living room and she walked in and sat on the chair.

“Can I get you something?  Water, tea, coffee, something a little more adult?”

“No, no, I’m good.”

“Okay, right.”

“Did you have something you wanted to talk about?”

Liam nodded.  “I know that you talk to Elsa.  And she may have mentioned that I said some . . . less-than-complimentary things about you in the aftermath of your . . . schism with Killian.  I wanted to apologize to you.  I was being unfair and a bit of a prat.”

“It’s fine, really.  I probably deserved most of it.”

“Emma, that’s entirely untrue.  You know that I can be very protective of Killian.  I only saw the story from his side—well, to be completely honest, only from my own, as even Killian was fairer to you than I was.  I wanted to hold someone responsible for hurting my little brother and you were the only one I could find.  I thought it was another Milah situation.  But I see that it wasn’t.”

“It wasn’t?”

“No.  Milah left because her dreams no longer aligned with Killian’s, and instead of discussing a compromise with him, she selfishly took the decision away from him. You and Killian still share the same goals, but you gave him the space to figure out what he wanted.  You still hurt him—“  Emma cringed at this.—“but your mind wasn’t in the right place.  And neither was his, for that matter.  And now they are.”

“I—”

“Oh, God, you’re fully breaking up with him!” Liam interrupted.  “I completely misinterpreted.”

“No!  I want to get back together with him.  That’s why I’m here.  Or why I came here.”

“Oh, good.  I thought I’d make an even bigger prat of myself.”

“Liam, I am sorry that I hurt Killian.  That was never my intention.  I just wanted to—protect myself, I guess?  It’s dumb now, but that’s what I thought I was doing.”

“I understand.  And, Emma, I want you and my brother to be together again.  I don’t think he’s ever been happier than he has when he is with you, except maybe as a child.  But if you’re going to reconcile, you can’t run again.  You have to be in this fully or else you’re just going to hurt him again.  And sheriff or not, I will come after you if you hurt my little brother.”

Emma nodded solemnly.  “I’m in this, Liam.  I promise.”

Liam smiled widely.  “Then welcome back, little sister.”  He stepped towards her and pulled her from the chair, hugging her tightly.  “You and Killian are coming to brunch with me and Elsa on Saturday.”

“You’re very confident that he’ll even want me back.”

Liam shot her a grin with a twinkle in his blue eyes.  “I have a pretty good hunch.”  He stepped in the direction of the front door.  “I won’t detain you any longer, but I will tell you that if you were to head in the direction of Killian’s apartment, you’d have a good chance of running into him.”

Emma knocked on her parents’ bright blue door with its cheery welcome sign, thinking that, with tear-tracks on her cheeks and a small suitcase clutched in her hand, she probably looked like the antithesis of that door.

Her mom opened the door with a smile on her face.  “Emma!  I didn’t know you were dropping by.  What a pleasant—”  She trailed off as she took a closer look at her daughter.

“Mom? Can I stay here for a while?”

“Of course, honey.  You know that your old room is always there for you.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“We were planning on ordering pizza and having a movie night.  You’re welcome to join us.  But if you need some space—”

Emma blanched at the thought of the pizza she’d ordered right before the fight. “Uh, no, I think I’d like that. The pizza and movie.  Sounds fun. I’ll just put this stuff in my room and get cleaned up.”

“Emma. Do you want to talk about it?”

Emma’s shoulders slumped forward.  “Killian and I had a fight and I needed to get out of there.  I can tell you and Dad more later, but right now, I just want food and some time to process.”

“Of course, honey.  The pizza will be here in about half an hour, but come down whenever you’re ready.”

Emma trudged up the stairs of her parents’ house with the suitcase slapping against each step.  She crossed her fingers that neither her younger brother nor her younger sister would notice she was here until she’d had a chance to clean herself up. Fortunately, she made it into the haven of her room uninterrupted.

Her bedroom used to be the guestroom.  Her parents had always wanted a large house and many kids, so even with two kids, they’d had an extra room when Emma knocked on their door at the age of twenty-four.  She’d stayed at Granny’s for a couple weeks, but, when Emma started looking for an apartment after taking the job as deputy and deciding to stay in Storybrooke, her parents had insisted that she take the room and make it her own.

Even though it had never been her childhood bedroom, the room had absorbed something of Emma.  She looked around at the light green walls and the photos scattered around the room. Most of them were of an adult Emma and some combination of her parents and siblings but some included Ruby, Belle, Elsa, and other people she knew from the town.

She froze when she saw one of her and Killian.  She’d been tired and cranky after a long day at the Storybrooke Christmas tree festival and a round of photos with her family.  It had been her first festival since she’d started dating Killian and he’d begged her for a photo of the two of them.  She’d been obstinate that he could take as many photos as he wanted, but she wouldn’t smile in any of them.  After several of her frowning while he tried to get her to smile (all probably lost to the photography graveyard), he’d finally relented and leaned his forehead against hers.  “All right, my swanling, I’ll take you home.”  In the moment, she’d given him a tired, but happy, smile.

Unfortunately, her father had quickly snapped a photo.  And that photo of her with a small (but still counts as a smile, Swan) smile and him with a look of adoration on his face and their foreheads pressed together, sat on her dresser.

She crossed the room, trying not to think about how she’d tackled him to the snow in revenge for the picture or how he’d taken her back to his apartment and made hot cocoa for them both before letting her fall asleep resting against him, and tilted the photo face-down onto the wood.

She looked around for any other photos that he might appear in, quickly overturning one of the two of them and her siblings on his boat back before they’d even dated and another of just him, dressed like a pirate, pouting at her from behind the bars of one of the cells in the police station (they’d done a “Fairytales in Storybrooke” photoshoot for a children’s program in the library and he’d convinced Belle to let him be Captain Hook).

Grateful that most photos of the two of them were at the apartment, she scrubbed at her cheeks to rid them of the obvious tears before moving down the hall to the bathroom.  She splashed some water on her face and straightened up some of her makeup before heading downstairs to join her family.

“Emma!” her sister shouted, running up to give her a hug.  “Are you here for pizza and movies?”

“Of course, Annie!  How could I pass up an offer to attend family movie night?”

“You haven’t gone to that many since you moved in with Killian.”  Annie looked over her shoulder frantically.  “Wait, is he here?  Are you guys going to spend the whole time kissing?”

“Killian’s busy, so he couldn’t make it,” Emma responded.  She spotted her brother on the couch, playing a video game on his handheld device.  “Hi, Leo,” she greeted as she ruffled his hair.

“Hey,” he grunted back, deep in the thralls of teenage moodiness.

After accidentally having Emma and having to put her up for adoption, Mary Margaret and David had been more cautious and hesitant about having kids. They’d waited over a decade before having Leo, who was now fifteen years old, and had Annie three years later.

Emma felt an arm wrap around her shoulders.  “Look at my three loving children bonding!  Emma, good to have you.”

“Hi, Dad.  Have you ordered the pizza yet?”

David nodded.  “And I ordered you a Seafood Special all of your own, so you better eat it all.”

“Ew, gross.  Is that a real thing?”

“It absolutely is.  And apparently there’s oysters on it.”

Annie made a face at this news.

David continued, “You know, we are a coastal town in Maine.  Maybe we should really be embracing our heritage and eating seafood on our pizza.”

“Dad, please, stop,” Emma interrupted.

“Well, if my firstborn says so.”  He kissed her hair and dropped his arm.  “Pizza should be here any minute, so go wash hands and get drinks.”

Annie scampered off immediately, followed by Leo after a nudge from his father. Once they’d left, David glanced at Emma. “Emma?”

“I just washed them, I swear!”  She showed him her hands for inspection.

“While I’m proud of you for that, that’s not what this is about.  Why are you not at your own place, enjoying a quiet evening with your boyfriend?”

Emma shrugged.  “We had a fight.  So I’m here for a while.  I don’t want to talk about it now.”

“Well, though I’m glad to have you home, I’m sorry about the circumstances. Do you need me to punch him?”

Emma rolled her eyes.  “No, Dad. This is as much my fault as his.”

“I may be getting older, but I’m still good for a few hits.  I’ll let you have tonight, but I do want to know the whole story later.”

She nodded.  “And I’ll tell you.  Just—not tonight.”  She took a deep breath.  “So, what movie are we watching?”

“We thought it should be Leo’s turn to pick.”

“Ugh, Dad, no,” Emma groaned.

Killian tapped his fist against the wood on the Nolans’ light blue door.

“Killian!” Mary Margaret greeted cheerily when she opened the door.  “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I didn’t give any warning, sorry.”  He scratched behind his ear.  “Is Emma here perchance?”

Mary Margaret frowned thoughtfully.  “No.  I don’t think I even saw her after work.  She must’ve gone to the diner or something.  Would you like for me to tell her that you stopped by?”

“Er, no, that’s all right.  I’ll find her some other time.”

“Okay.  Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.”  Killian nodded and backed away from the door.  “Killian,” Mary Margaret called, “are you okay?”

“Yes, of course.”

Her eyes narrowed.  “Are you sure?”

Killian sighed and stepped back toward Mary Margaret. “It’s just—why are you so nice to me? I said some cruel, unfounded things to your daughter and have been holding her possessions hostage for weeks now. And you and David have been nothing but friendly.”

“Oh, Killian.  You forget that David and I were around when Milah left the first time. We understand that you’ve been going through a hard time and reliving some bad memories the past few weeks. Even though I don’t condone the things that you said to Emma, I know that you weren’t wholly responsible for this mess.  And as for holding anyone’s possessions hostage, Emma is the sheriff.  Do you really think that she would let you stop her from getting all her stuff back if she wanted to?”

“No, I suppose not.”

“Answer me this, Killian: are you in love with my daughter?”

His eyes raised to meet hers, somewhat like Emma’s but not quite.  “Unspeakably so,” he replied.

“Then I can’t possibly be mad at you.  You were so good to my daughter, even when you were getting nothing out of it other than her rebuffs.”

“I’m going to ask her to take me back,” Killian blurted out.

Mary Margaret’s smile went from warm to dazzling. “Oh Killian, that’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you two!”

“Thank you, milady.”

“I know my whole family will be pleased. Especially Annie.  She’s missed you a lot.”

“Aye, so she told me when we came across each other at the festival.  It was wonderful, by the way.”

“Thank you!  It turned out so nicely, and everyone had such a great time.  We missed your help though, especially when Emma and David were lugging around those hay bales.”

“I can practically hear Swan complaining right now.”

Mary Margaret winked conspiratorially. “Actually, Emma was fine.  It was David who wouldn’t stop griping.  But then the second you mention him showing his age, he gets all huffy.”

“Oh, I miss your family.”

“Some of us more than others, huh?”

Killian dropped his head and blushed.  “Perhaps.”

“Certain members of our family have missed you, too. And I’m sure that that certain member of our family would very much like to hear what you’ve told me today.”

“You think so?”

“The whole town has been waiting for you two to figure out things.”

“I hate this place,” Killian groaned.  “I’m sure there’s a betting pool out there somewhere.  Probably being run by Granny.”

“Now that you mention it, if you and Emma get back together tomorrow, I think David wins it.”

“Which day did you guess?”

“I had two days after it happened.  I forgot to factor in both of your abilities to be foolishly stubborn.”

“I’m going to fix that,” Killian said resolutely.

“I know.  So I’ll let you get on.”

She hugged Killian, which he happily returned, and waved as he walked down the steps and across the Nolans’ front yard. As he started down the sidewalk, he felt a buzz in his pocket and fished out his phone.

Liam Jones: Emma’s heading to your apartment.

After his fourth dumb mistake working on a boat (a botched fiberglass patch that he could’ve done in his sleep), Liam threatened to send him home.  He almost took his brother up on the offer but with only an hour of work left, he knew he could power through until closing time.

Really, if he went home, there was the chance that Emma wouldn’t be home yet. And then he’d be alone.  Quiet and solitude were the last things he needed that evening.

He took twice as long and used twice as much caulk as usual to put a cleat on a keelboat, but the job got done and got done well.  Finally, Liam told him to clean up and go home, along with a promise/threat to call later that night.  Killian put all his supplies away, shouted a quick goodbye to his brother along with well-wishes for his brother’s wife, and began the trek to his apartment.

Thankfully, he and Emma lived close to the docks, as he couldn’t stand to be far from the sea and she liked being near the water, so he was opening the front door not ten minutes after leaving work.

“Swan?” he called softly, making his way into the kitchen.  He opened the cabinet and pulled out a tumbler then a bottle of rum.  It was going to be that kind of night.  He’d just finished pouring a glass when Emma appeared, leaning against the doorway, with sweatpants on and her hair yanked into a ponytail.

Killian sighed upon seeing her and strode over to where she was standing. He folded her into his arms, letting the fingers of one hand tangle into the end of her ponytail.  She encircled him with her arms in return, stroking lightly up and down his back.

“Bad day?” she murmured into his ear.

“Until now.”

Emma turned her head to press a light kiss to his neck then pulled away from him. “Grab your rum and let’s go to the couch.  Pizza sound good?”

“You are amazing.”

He turned back and picked up the tumbler, grabbing the bottle also after only a slight hesitation.  As he trudged to the couch, Emma ran to grab her phone.  Once they were both seated, Killian proceeded to wrap himself around her as she detailed their regular order to the person on the other end of the line.  Hanging up, she scratched at the top of his head which was resting on her shoulder.

“Are you planning on ever letting go of me?”

“Maybe. Definitely not tonight.” Emphasizing his point, he pulled her even closer into him.

“Killian, I’m worried.  You’re never like this.”

He sat up and slowly pulled his arms from around her, one of his hands sliding down her arm and then grasping her hand as he shifted a couple inches away. “I’m sorry, love.  Just feeling affectionate.”

“Do you—I mean, are you—would you like to talk about it?”

He groaned.  “Not really, but you deserve to know about it.”  She swiped her thumb over the back of his hand and silently urged him to continue. “So, Milah showed back up, as you know. We exchanged the typical pleasantries: ‘You look good’, ‘I hope your job’s going well’, all that jazz.  And then she apologized for leaving all those years ago.  She said that she wasn’t ready to settle down and give up her life on the road.  All things that I’d surmised in the months after she left.”

He paused and Emma rubbed his arm encouragingly.

“She said she’s ready now.”

Emma dropped her hand from his arm and let go of his hand as if he’d burned her. “Killian, she—”

“Aye. She wants to settle down and stop her nomadic lifestyle.  Maybe in Storybrooke.”  A beat of silence.  “With me.”

“Oh, well, I guess—”

“Lass,” he crooned.  “No.”

“What else did she say?”

“That was it.”  He reached up a hand to scratch behind his ear.  “She thought maybe we could give it another go.  It wasn’t quite our time then, but it is now, or something like that. She said some things about interviews at places, but quite honestly, I wasn’t paying close attention.  She said—she—”

“She said?” Emma urged.

“Nothing, love.”  Emma raised her eyebrows skeptically.  “She tried to pull the ‘I’m still in love with you’ card.”

Emma sucked in a shuddering breath.

“Emma, love.”  He clutched at her hand with both of his.  “I have no intentions of taking her up on the offer.  That part of my life is over.  She made her decision and left years ago.”

“She also came back,” Emma muttered.

“That doesn’t change anything.  I am with you now.”

“But if you weren’t?  Would you consider the offer?”  Killian opened his mouth but no sound came out.  “Is there no part of you that’s at least questioning how it would turn out? No part of you is even a little tempted?”

“Emma.” His voice held a hint of warning.

“Because if the only reason that you’re saying no is that you already have this commitment—that can change.   And I don’t want you to make this decision because of some idea of chivalry towards me that you have in your head and then constantly be wondering what would be happening if you’d made a different choice.”

“Swan,” he snapped.

“I just—maybe you should take some time to think about this.  Time on your own.”

“What are you saying?”

Emma stood and left the room through the door to their bedroom.  When she returned, she was carrying a suitcase. “I’m saying that maybe you need time to think this through.  And space. So maybe I should go stay with my parents for a while.”

“Emma, stop,” he commanded.  Then he paused with his brows furrowed.  After a few seconds, he remarked, “You already had that.”

“What?” Emma asked.

“The bag,” he mumbled.  “You already had a bag packed.  Even before I got home.”

She shrugged.  “I—I knew this was a possibility.”

“Oh, this isn’t about me,” he growled.  “You had this plan in place before I walked through the door.  This has nothing to do with Milah.  It’s just you seeing an out.”

“Killian!” she snapped.

“Emma Swan, always ready to run.  Things have been good between us and you couldn’t find an emergency exit.  So now you’re making one, building it out of your own paranoia.  What excuse would you have used if she hadn’t shown up?”

“This isn’t an excuse!” she protested.  “I just think some time apart—”

“Time for you to run!  As far as fast as you can.  This is your foot out the door.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m not the one trying to get rid of something good.   How long have you been planning to run?  Looking for an out?  Was it when you moved in?  Before? Have you been preparing for this since we started dating?”

“Are you crazy?  Would I have moved in with you if I was planning to run?”

He chuckled darkly.  “You tell me. Obviously, some part of you was ready for it.  What, are you too scared that this could turn into something real?  As soon as you see an actual future, one in which you—we—could be happy, it’s time to cut your losses and head for the hills.”

“Killian, you know that’s not it.”

“Do I know that?  Because it damn well looks like that from where I’m standing.”

Emma strode up to him, only stopping when she was right in his face.  “Then maybe you need to stand somewhere else.” She whipped away from him and toward the door.

“Is that what you’re telling yourself?  You’re going away to get some perspective?” he spat.

“Well, I sure as hell am seeing a different side right now.”

With that, she wrenched open the door, walked through, and slammed it behind her.

As he listened to her footsteps retreating down the hall, he stood and stared at the door, transfixed.  His body refused to move, but he also didn’t feel tears in his eyes so he just . . . stood. He continued to stare at the spot where she’d last been standing, as if maybe he could conjure her back to that spot until the delivery man with the pizza rang the doorbell.

Killian took a deep breath outside the door to his apartment, trying desperately not to have flashbacks to the last time he stood across from this door when Emma was inside (and he knew she was inside because even her Bug was faster than walking).  He clenched and unclenched his fist a couple of times before wrapping his fingers around the doorknob.

It turned when he twisted his wrist.  She was here.

He pushed the door open.

Emma stood from her seat on the couch as she came into view.  “Killian!”

“Emma,” he murmured.

“I’m sorry that I came here without warning you.”

“No, you’re fine.  You have as much right to be here as I do.”  He shook his head frantically.  “I didn’t mean it that way.  It’s just that you’re not intruding or anything.  In fact, I-I—”  His voice died off as he glanced away.

“Yes?”

“I—”  He crossed the few steps between them and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face into her hair.  She tensed for a second before carefully circling her arms around his back and holding him just as tightly.  He exhaled for what felt like the first time in two weeks.  He felt tears leaking out of his eyes and pulled her even closer into himself.  “I missed you.  So much.” He let himself relax into her for a few more seconds before pulling back.  “Sorry, I’m just really happy to see you.”

“Killian, we should talk.”  At his panic-stricken expression, she quickly added, “I’ve missed you a lot, too, and I’m so happy to see you.  But there’s still stuff we need to talk about.”

She slid her arm down his until she could lace her fingers with his.  She tugged on his hand and led him to the couch where they both sat, knees slightly touching.  Emma tried to pull her hand away but he tightened his fingers around hers with a frown.

“I’m sorry for running,” Emma started.  “You were right, we were happy and I got scared. And I ran away in a time that you needed me to be here.  And I am so sorry.”

“Emma, all that happened that day is forgiven. I said some very harsh things to you. I won’t say that I didn’t mean them because I was hurting and angry that day.  And I think some part of me thought those things even before that day.  But that doesn’t excuse the fact that I spoke those words in anger rather than telling you my concerns, which is how a relationship should work.”

“I should’ve trusted you and trusted our relationship.  I shouldn’t have panicked when Milah showed up.”

“I assure you, as much as you were panicking, I was more so.”

One side of Emma’s mouth quirked upwards. “Any other exes who might come to town trying to sweep you off your feet?”

He laughed at that.  “Unless the girl I took to a basketball game and a movie in junior year of high school shows up, I think we’re good.  And I am not easily swept, Emma Swan.”

“Is that so?  Always seemed pretty easy to me.”

“And only to you,” he replied.

Emma sucked in a breath at his words and then she slowly leaned forward and let her lips connect with his.  If the two thought their earlier embrace was soothing, this one was magically healing.  Killian lifted one of his hands and slowly dragged it through her blonde hair before they separated and rested their foreheads together.

“See, Swan?  One kiss and I’m head over heels.”  He leaned back further but left his hand tangled in her hair.  “No matter how many exes decide to play tourist in this town, I will only ever want you, Emma.”

“I don’t want to run anymore,” she admitted.

His eyes brightened and his smile widened. “Good thing I never intend to give you reason to.”

She smiled back at him and he kissed her again, more fiercely this time.  She wrapped her arms around his neck as his hand not already in her hair went around her back.  He pulled away but leaned in to give her another quick peck before lying back along the couch and pulling her with him.

She laughed as she ended up lying across his chest. “What are you doing?”

“I am going to lie here on the couch holding the woman I love as she tells me about her day and all the crazy sheriff shenanigans that have happened in the past two weeks, because it has been far too long.”

“I love you too,” she said, kissing him again. “But what if we used this time for other activities?”

He smirked and kissed her cheek.  “So intent to defile me.  But plenty of time for that later, love, and more talking. Right now, I just want to be with you.”

“Can I at least take off my jacket and shoes? You should too.”

“You can do whatever you’d like, as long as you can do it without leaving my arms.”

Emma ghosted some of her fingers along his side and let his ticklishness distract him as she pried his arms from around her. She quickly slipped off her jacket and boots, seeing him do the same, and settled back against him.

“Bad form, Swan.”

“Forgive me?”

“Aye, of course, love.  Now start talking.”

She tucked her head into his neck.  “I’ve been staying with my family, as you probably know.  And Leo was determined to finish some video game while Annie wanted to watch the cooking channel every day.  So that led to some colossal arguments.”

“Oh, I’m sure that was fun.”

“Not really.  Dad probably would’ve locked them up in the sheriff’s station except then he couldn’t even get away from them at work.  I think they’re considering some sort of formal legal contract at this point.”

“I didn’t realize Annie was into cooking.”

Emma laughed.  “Oh, she’s not.  She just likes looking at all the decorated cakes.  But it’s not like Leo is interested in being a paladin.  Or, he would, if that were still a career choice.”

Killian chuckled beneath her, pressing his noise into her hair.  “I have missed your family.  I saw Goose at the festival.”

“I know.”  At his confused expression, she added, “I saw you.”

“Right.  Not exactly secretive.  Oh, wait!” He shifted so he could reach into his pocket and found the box there.  “I suppose now is as good a time as any.”  He handed the small box to her.

She flipped it open and gasped.  “Killian, really?  I saw this at the festival but just couldn’t reason getting it.  How did you know?”  Inside was a simple chain necklace with a blue stone wrapped in delicate wires.

He scratched behind his ear.  “I, er, may have gone up to the stand when you left and asked the owner if he knew which piece you had been admiring.”  He deftly plucked the chain from the box.  “It’s sea glass, you know.”

“You bought this for me at the festival?”

“I was optimistic.”  He motioned for her to move so he could settle the chain around her neck. Once the necklace was clasped, he placed a soft kiss on her shoulder and she leaned back against him.

“I’m glad you were.  I love it.”

“I also felt bad leaving you and your father to setting up all those hay bales.”

“Ugh, you owe me next year.  I swear she doubled it from last year.  I’m still finding hay in my hair.”

He hummed and jokingly inspected her hair, plucking at a few strands.  “Nope, just Swan hair.”

“I think I took two showers after the festival ended.  But it looked great and Mom’s happy.  Also, Dad and I finally caught the raccoon terrorizing Copper Street.”

“Oh, well I’m glad Storybrooke’s police force is keeping dangerous criminals off the streets.”

“He’s been released farther into the woods and hopefully he won’t be back.”

“Maybe you should’ve let him cool off in the cells for a bit.  So he’d really get the message.”

Emma jabbed him in the side.  “You were the one who asked what I’d been doing.  It’s not like I’m going to be taking down Vito Corleone in Storybrooke.”

“I thought he was dead.”

Emma gasped in mock-horror.  “Did you watch The Godfather without me?  Killian!”

“We can watch it together sometime?” he offered sheepishly.  She continued to pout.  “In my defense, Liam and Elsa forced me to join them for movie night.”

“Liam and Elsa were watching The Godfather for movie night?”

“Liam found out that neither Elsa nor I had seen it or something.  You can’t tell me that you didn’t have movie nights with the Nolans.”

“Yeah, but we watched Moana and Back to the Future, which you and I have seen together.”

“Swan, you know I love Moana,” he whined.  “She sails!”

“You’ve seen that movie at least three times!”

“Swan,” he whined.

She turned in his arms and kissed him while one hand snaked down to tickle him.  He laughed without pulling away from her lips.  After they separated, Emma slid down so her head was resting on his chest.

“I missed this.  And you.”  She stayed silent for a few seconds.  “Don’t let me leave again,” she whispered.

“I’m in this for the long haul, Emma,” he responded. “Are you?”

“Yes,” she answered.

He sat up abruptly.  “I’ve got something to show you.”

Grabbing her hand, he pulled her off the couch and towards their bedroom.  He walked to the bedside stand on his side of the bed and knelt down, opening the bottom drawer, affectionately dubbed his ‘robot-overlord-building drawer’ because of its eclectic contents.

He shoved several items out of the way before he found the small box he’d had in there for a few months.  He turned back to Emma, holding it out.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” she said, holding her hands out protectively.

“Calm down, Swan, I’m not proposing.  Not yet.”  He delicately held the velvet box.  “But I want you to know that I have this.”

She reached for it and tapped a finger to it as if it might bite or burn her.  When she went to open it, he closed his fist around it.  “Save some of the surprise, love.”

“Killian, why—?”

“Why am I showing you?  Because this box and its contents are my promise to you that I have no intention of letting what we have get away from me.  And right now we’ve got a lot more talking and stuff to work through so we can get back to being us.  But once we do . . .  One day, I will take this box out for real. And I will ask you to marry me.”

He watched her and tried to read her thoughts as she tried to form a response.

She met his eyes.

“Good.”

[cancercrew-filth]

“I hate you.” (Joji)

Anon Request: an imagine where you and joji absolutely hate each other but because you're both friends with the other boys you're forced to hang out together but one night, somehow, things get really heated and smutty? xx

Y/N’s POV

I groaned dramatically, trying to catch the attention of at least Max, or Ian…mostly Ian. I wanted to desperately leave this dreaded apartment and one of those two idiots was my ticket out of here considering that I didn’t have a ride. Well, Ian was my ride, but he was too busy up George’s ass to even notice me. I hated coming over here to this apartment, I hated this atmosphere, and most of all: I hated George. Yeah, ‘hate’ is a strong word and all, but that’s just how I felt. It was with such animosity that I could barely look at him without having the urge to deck him right in the face. He was sat on the couch across from me, scrolling through his phone as he smiled and spoke to Max and Ian about something stupid. The three of them laughed, and I felt like they were mocking me…I was the only one sitting there and pouting as if I was a five year old that had their favorite toy taken away from them.

“Y/N, you need to see this.” Ian laughed as he patted the empty space next to him.

I glared at him and then Max, both of them on either sides of George. I rolled my eyes and scoffed. My bitterness towards George stemmed from a deeper issue. It wasn’t just me being hostile for no reason.

“I’d rather choke then go over there.” I muttered.

We had been out the whole attending to every need George had, doing everything George waned to do. I was excluded from everything purposely. They shot a few things for videos on all of their channels, and when Max or Ian called me over, George would instead take my place and fill in. It was always some kind of competition when it came to Ian and Max, as if he didn’t spend enough time with them already. For some reason, it always had to revolve around George. Ever since the first day I met him, it was as though the attention was always on him, and he distracted them from me.

“Have it your way.” George mumbled as he continued laughing with the guys.

That night, we had stayed over at George’s apartment being that we had nowhere else to stay because Ian didn’t want to drive downtown and get a hotel. Luckily for me, Ian was with me in the guest room where he and Max were going to be rooming.

“I have to step out real quick with Max to go pick up a few things that we ordered from that camera company I was telling you about. Remember that lens I ordered? Well, I have to go to the company and get it myself with Max since he had ordered some sort of case from the same place. Its an hour and a half drive.” Ian told me as he folded some of his clothes as he sat on the bed.

“You’re going to leave me here with him.” I gasped, “Take me with you, please. Come on, I promise I won’t say a single word the whole ride there and the ride back.”

“Y/N, just stay here. Plus, look. Joji needs some help cleaning up a little…just be civil until we get back.” he told me.

I didn’t want those two cunts leaving me with George. Max talked me into staying behind unfortunately, saying that I’d get bored with the trip. Ian even suggested talking to him and maybe squashing the beef between the both of us.which I doubt would ever occur in this lifetime… I walked into the hallway, leaving the guest room, and I came to a stop when I heard George speaking.

“Guys, you’re seriously not leaving me with Y/N, right? What the hell?! You guys know I can’t stand her…let me go with you, she won’t mind being alone. She’s always alone anyways, being that she hasn’t been in a relationship for a long ass time.” he belittled, “She’s so fucking annoying…dude, all she does is take up space…”

I knew I abhorred him completely before with every poison filled bone in my body, wanting nothing to do with him…but now I felt it with such distaste. George was repulsive to me.

“Look, she doesn’t like it either, but we’ll be back quick.” Ian explained, “You won’t even notice we’re gone.”

They said their goodbyes and after hearing the front door shut, I abandoned the hallway, retreating back into the guest room. I was occupying the bed for about ten minutes, lying there and taking up space, like how George said I did. I couldn’t deny that what he said didn’t at least hurt me in some sense. Like, I guess it did but I was so used to ignoring his existence it really didn't have an affect on me. I heard a soft knock on the door followed by the twist of the doorknob. I found it rude how he just let himself in that way, but at the same time, it his apartment. I continued staring at the ceiling, not wanting to look at him.

“Do you want popcorn or something?” he asked bluntly.

“No.” I spat.

“Starve and die then.” he muttered.

“Gladly.” I told him.

All I felt was the room become empty and I heard the door slam shut. It startled me a little, making me jump as I remained on my back, staring at the blank ceiling. Someone’s grumpy, I thought to myself. Like, alright yeah, I get it. I suck, I’m annoying, and he probably rather die than be stuck in the same vicinity as me because that’s exactly how I feel about being here with him, but are you really going to slam doors in your apartment to emphasize how much I get under your skin? I sat up feeling thirsty. Five minutes into a battle with myself about getting up or not, I decided to get up and be a big girl and go get myself a glass of water. I was hesitant, not wanting George to say anything to me. He sat on the couch with an unopened beer in his hand as I lightly creeped past him and went not the kitchen. I poured myself some water and as I gulped it down, I thought about leaving tomorrow since Ian had said we’d leave first thing in the morning. I wanted to be far away from George, I never liked coming to New York because we only came here to see him.

“You could’ve asked me for a glass instead of snooping around my kitchen.” his voice startled me, making the cup slip out of my hand and crash onto the floor into pieces.

I gasped, scared that he’d start his bitching.

“See what you do?!” he shouted at me, stretching out his arms.

“Me?! You’re the one that came up behind me like some kind of spy. Wear a damn bell next time, maybe that way we’d all be able to hear you.” I shouted back.

“Oh, shut up! You’re the reason why I have to sneak around, so you’re annoying ass doesn’t see me and automatically say something about you wanting to leave and doing something better or coming at me with your bullshit.” he seethed.

“This is exactly why-“ I started.

“You what?” he tested me.

“I hate you.” I disputed.

I wasn’t going to just let him walk all over me the way he normally did. Like, it’s pretty evident you dislike me, no need to make it more known by being mean and rude. He crouched on the floor and began to pick up the jagged pieces of the broken glass. I began to help him as well and he grabbed my wrist unexpectedly in a rough manner, “Stop. What? Are you trying to have a shard slice your hand open?!” he scolded.

“Oh, look at that. You do have a heart.” I rolled my eyes, “I’m a big girl, George. I can clean up my own mess by myself. I don’t need you being a big ass baby and telling Ian or Max I smashed one of your stupid fucking cups.”

“Why don’t you ever call me Joji? And you’re fighting with me over picking up shards of fucking glass. Just get out of the damn way, Y/N.” he argued.

I ignored him and continued picking up the shards. I didn’t want to call him ‘Joji’ because that’s what his close friends called him and I am no friend of his. If I was anything to him, I was probably an enemy.

“Your friends call you ‘Joji’…I’m not your friend.” I said as I held a few pieces of glass in my hands and dumped them in the trash can.

“You’re right. We’re not friends.” he muttered as he pushed past me to go into the kitchen. I followed him, wanting to know what the hell his problem with me was. I stood in the center of the room and he glared at me bitterly, clenching his jaw and sitting down on the couch.

“What is your issue with me? You already know what mine is with you, but for some reason you’re always such a dick towards me…” I announced.

He stood up and sighed, rolling his eyes, “You’re kidding, right? I never have time with my friends because of you. You stick to them like some sort of leech, sucking the fun out of everything we do. You walk around like you’re some sort of goddess, as if you control shit and run shit…” he inched closer to me, becoming more sour with every word that left his mouth, “And you don’t run anything…you-you waltz around in the shortest dresses and the tightest tights catching attention from pervs and distracting my other friends. I know you hate me…”

George backed me up into the chilled wall, goosebumps took over my body as I watched his lips attentively.

“So?” I asked with a slight attitude as I crossed my arms over my chest.

He let out a laugh, his eyes went from the floor to my face as he closed the space in between us. George stared at my lips and said, “You think I hate you, huh?”

I nodded slowly, not having any words for what was happening. I didn’t want it to stop…even if I claimed I hated him. He was rude, repulsive, alluring, and a dick… but that didn’t mean I didn't want his…

“I’m gonna show you just how much I hate you.” he whispered as he leaned in.

George’s lips met mine aggressively as his hands intertwined in my hair. I didn’t protest nor did I reject him. I wanted him. Not knowing how much time we had left alone made us become very hasty. He led me straight to his room, where he shut the door and quickly attended to me while I plopped down onto his bed. My eyes scrutinized his room, I’ve never even taken a glimpse of it. George was surprisingly neat and organized, I’d imagined he was a slob but he proved me wrong. I was startled when I felt his cold fingers trace the bare skin on my stomach as he hooked my pants with his fingers. He made his way in between my clothed legs and unbuttoned my pants. While he was lowering my zipper, I jerked my pants off and began to work on his button and zipper. I was impatient and anxious. My issue with George was pushed in the back of my brain. I did not want to think about it anymore, I just wanted to think about how good he would make me feel and make it up to me. Removing his pants, he sucked on my neck, nibbling a little bit. His hand made his way into my underwear making me sharply draw in a breath.

“You wanna know something?” he whispered in a low voice as he entered a finger in me.

I moaned in response.

“I’ve always wanted to fuck you.” he lightly chuckled, placing another finger inside of me and working his fingers faster, “The first time I met you and opened that pretty little mouth of yours I knew you were someone I wanted. You hate me? Let me fuck that hate out of you, baby.”

My hand clasped his wrist as his actions sped up, not knowing what to grab and where to my hands. I was a mess under him, moaning and whimpering as he continued leaving marks on my neck and collarbones. He stopped before I was able to cum, my head hit his pillow as I laid there gasping, trying to catch my breath.

“I’m not done with you yet.” he snickered taking off my underwear and then instantaneously got rid of his.

We made out as he teased my opening with his hard erection, without a warning, he surprisingly thrusted into me. He was slow at first, but none the lead, it made all the difference in length. I gripped the blankets in my palms, biting my bottom lip as I shut my eyes. His thumb rubbed circles on my clit. After some time passed, he flipped me over so that I was on my knees. He gripped my hair in his hands and got close to my ear, “Let me show you how much  I hate you.”

He grabbed my hip with his left hand as his right continued holding my hair tenderly while he pulled out and teased me awfully slowly. I et out a small whimper, earning a light chuckle from him.

“Stop with the teasing, Joji.” I whispered.

Joji gave in and his actions became rugged with each slow stroke. I lowered the upper half of my body into the mattress, muffling my moans as he got faster and his motions rougher. I slid my arm below me and let my fingers rub my clit, I was close to my high and Joji’s motions made me near my climax faster than I had expected. My thighs burned as my legs shook, cumming onto his cock as he continued with his pace, pounding me as rough as he could. Moaning into the sheets to keep from making noise was no help, I was loud regardless. Joji’s moans were low growls, they became intense as his thrusts got clumsier. Joji pulled out, immediately spurting onto my ass, his grunts declined and instead turned into sighs of pleasure. Helping me clean up, Joji also aided me in getting dressed. He stared at me as we stood by his room’s door, “What?” I asked, confused.

“Wanna hate each other more often?” he smirked.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I smiled.

Just as we exited the room and walked into the living room, the front door swung open. Ian smiled at us and said, “Hey! Did you guys work things out?”

Joji looked at me, giving me a wink, I couldn’t help but smile discreetly as I turned to Ian and Max. My smile disappeared and I cleared my throat, attempting to act cool, “Something like that.”

I sat on the couch, crossing my arms over my chest, continuing the act as Joji sat on the the other couch, eyeing me with a grin. All I could hope for was the next time Joji and I were left alone…maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.