#why did he release those bees in an elementary school?? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

what-is-your-plan-today · 5 years ago

Text

Leave No One Behind Ch2: The Red Sea Diving Resort

Part 1

Co-Written with @icanfeelastormbrewing

Episode Summary: Ari and his team arrive at their Resort and begin making plans for the first mission.

Episode Warnings: Bad Language words. Allusions to death and serious injury.

Episode Pairings: Ari Levinson x OFC Hannah Horowitz

Song for Episode: Night Fever by the Bee Gees

A/N: This is a long Chapter so we have split it into two Parts. P2 will be up tomorrow. J Again, we’re not historians, nor do we know Sudan in any detail…so if anything in here is factually incorrect, we mean no offence. Take it as slight creative license.

As always we live for re-blogs and comments

Series Master List // Main Masterlist

And that sweet city woman, She moves through the light, Controlling my mind and my soul

“What the fuck is he wearing Cracker?” Max asked Hannah as he nodded over her shoulder. Frowning, she turned to see Ari had walked in, briefcase in hand, dressed in a dark brown velvet suit and a white and gold striped shirt with a large, open necked collar.

Hannah snorted “He looks like John Travolta.”

“Walking like him too…” Sammy mumbled.

“Night fever, night fever…we know how to do it…” Jake sang softly, and the rest of the group all started to chuckle, hastily turning away as Ari walked towards the table and dropped the briefcase down on it.

Ari greeted Ethan with a nod of his head and looked around the room. His team was already gathered standing around the oval metal table, chatting idly.

Max and Jake were sniggering about something and Ari could clearly see Sammy was trying to keep a straight face, hands in his trousers pockets and looking at his feet while bouncing on them. Did he want to know? Probably not.

And then he noticed Hannah. She was chatting with Rachel who was admiring the brown leather knee high boots she was wearing. Ari heard Rachel comment something about her loving chunky heels as Hannah twisted her left foot so that Rachel could have a better look at the boots.

But Ari wasn’t interested in the boots, well, ok he was, but his gaze then travelled upwards, following her black tights clad legs and thighs, until his eyes mid-thigh met the hem of the skirt of her maroon pleated chord pinafore. Luckily for him, when his eyes continued past up her waist and the long sleeved polka dot blouse she was wearing, and he could take in the delicate features of her face, she was still engaged in some sort of fashion conversation with Rachel.

She was stunning, but what was new there? He had to admit to himself he had felt his chest fill with warmth when he had been running through the fake passports Ethan had given him the previous evening. He had opened hers first, sitting on his bed in the privacy of his hotel room, tumbler of Scotch in hand. His eyes scanning Hannah's passport photo over and over again. Those big round blue eyes looking directly at him.

Firefly, he had muttered running his thumb over the photo before gulping his drink.

Thus, Ari knew which would be the one on top at the deck of passports he was now pulling from his briefcase. He was going over the questions he would be asking each one of them in his head when he heard Max asking him something.

“You got chills Ari?”

“What?” Ari frowned, his head turning to Max and in the corner of his eye he noticed that Hannah turned to watch, biting her lip as behind her Sammy laughed and hastily started coughing to cover it up.

“Are they multiplying?” Jake chipped in.

“Are you losing control?” Max continued

“Coz the power, you’re supplying…it’s electrifying!” the two men sang together as Ari looked at the pair of them rolling his eyes, a smirk playing on his face. Behind him Ethan groaned.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up…” Ari’s mouth curled into a crooked smile. “I’m Guy Thomas…he wears this shit…its fashion. And besides, Max, you’ve no room to talk!”

Hannah snorted and turned to look at Max, taking his outfit in in more detail. Because they were all in Zurich at the NATCOR HQ under the guise of a simple Mossad business meeting, Ari had instructed the team to come dressed as they felt their Alter Egos would dress for work. Sammy and Jake were both dressed in suits and ties, Max was in a suit with an open collar pinstriped shirt.

“He has a point…” Hannah conceded “You’re like the Kenickie to his Danny…”

“Grease was based in the 50s.” Max narrowed his eyes at her.

“Yeah, which is when that shirt was in fashion.” Jake said, slapping Max on the shoulder. Hannah and Ari snorted before they were cut off by an angry noise from behind them.

“Save the outfit discussions for later.” Ethan snapped “You lot are going to get yourselves killed for fucks sake.”

“Ethan, Ethan…” Ari turned to him, his voice soothing “Just, calm down…we’ve not even started the meeting yet.”

“Exactly, and we’re already behind schedule so if you don’t mind…” He nodded his head in the direction of the table and everyone, suitably chastised, took a seat.

Ethan and Ari ran the group through the plans regarding the next few months and how the deployment was going to work. They were to fly out on the 4th January, from Zurich, where Ari and Rachel would meet with the Sudanese Government and get the paper work and everything signed for the lease on the diving resort. Whilst they were there Max, Hannah, Jake and Sammy were to pair off and head to 2 different places to pick up 2 different cars which would be ready and waiting with supplies from 2 in country contacts. Once the explanations were finished, Ari then picked up the false passports.

“So you’ve all had enough time to read over your covers.” Ari said, flipping through the pile of passports, selecting one “Remember, the point of being undercover is you keep it simple. So you should have memorised the basics, your name, date of birth, parents names, address, hometown that type of thing. Everything else you can make up on the spot but nothing too elaborate. Don’t take it too far from the actual truth because whatever you tell one person you need to remember to tell another.”

He paused and cleared his throat. “Ok, let’s see how you fare under questioning.” he looked at Hannah “Firefly, you first… Name?”

“Rosa-Maria Gomez” Hannah repeated back, without so much as batting an eyelid, her Spanish accent flawless.

“Where are you from?”

“Valencia.”

“What did you do?”

“Bar manager at a local hotel.”

“Which hotel?”

“Sidi Saler”

“How long for?”

“Just over 10 years. Travelled for a year or so after University, settled back home when I was 19. Never looked back.”

There wasn’t so much as a hint of hesitation when she spoke. Ari smiled at her and tossed the fake passport down in front of her. “Good job.” he said and with a faint smile she reached for the passport.

Next he put Rachel through her paces, picking her up on the slight hesitation she had over her address and then Jake’s mistake over his elementary school name. He then turned to Sammy.

“Sammy…name. Where are you from? “

“I'm Liam Anderson. Australia.” Sammy said, picking up his passport

“First girlfriend.”

“Mary”

“Tell me about her.” Ari said, stopping at the head of the table.

“Mary Rose. Took my virginity and broke my heart.”

At that, Ari saw Hannah, who was sat at the far end of the table next to Sammy shift slightly. Despite himself he glanced at her and she caught his eye before she looked down at the table. Ari turned back to Sammy who was still speaking.

“We met at the University of Queensland in Brisbane. I was 19. Later died in a car accident.”

“It's good. Good work, Sammy.” Ari turned to Max “You're up.”

There was a pause as Max stared straight ahead before he glanced at the passport.

“I still think this is a stupid name for someone from Malta.” Max protested “Why Malta?”

Rachel gave a little chuckle as Ari looked at him, rolling his eyes as his hands fell to his hips.

“Max, when you learn a second language, that's where you can be from. Till then you're from Malta. No one knows what people from Malta speak.”

“What do people speak in Malta?” Rachel asked.

“Maltese” Hannah supplied and sniggers rang round the table.

“See, no one knows, that's the point.” Ari said with a smile before he looked pointedly at Max “Name”

“Hello, everybody, my name's Irving Wilmington.” Max said in a ridiculously, fake European accent which made everyone start to laugh “And I'm from Malta-“

“You think this is funny?” Ethan’s angry voice cut across the laughter and everyone looked up at the man as he strode around the table. “Just for the record, there's not one person in this group that I would have chosen for this type of mission. You're all too reckless.” Hannah looked at Max who raised his eyebrows as if to say, he has a point…which to be fair, he kinda did.

“I've gone against every instinct I know.” Ethan continued as Ari looked down at the floor “broken every risk management rule I believe in, including sending two women to a Muslim country.” Ethan said, looking directly at Hannah then Rachel “So let's be very clear. This mission has no backup. There's no exfil plan for you. You're going in without guns, or any other weapon. If this goes wrong, you'll all be hanging from cranes in Khartoum.”

With that Ethan left the room and there was a moment of silence.

“Can’t wait…” Jake said, leaning back in his chair.

*****

Of course, nothing every runs completely smoothly. Jake was stopped by the Sudanese Immigration, simply to be released once he had paid the ‘bribe’ the officials wanted. Ari spotted him joining the others in the queue for cabs as he and Rachel departed in the car to the Tourism Board.

Then, they met with their contact in the Sudanese Government, Colonel Madibbo and embarked on the anticipated haggling over the price. The man looked Ari in the face and told him that the lease was five hundred thousand, to which Ari replied simply that they had agreed Two-Fifty. After a little bit of negotiation, Ari moved up to three-fifty, informing the Colonel it was their best offer, but then loaded told the man that could write it down as two-fifty and then take the rest and do something beneficial for the people of Sudan.

“You may not speak Arabic, Mr. Thomas. But you do speak the local language.” Madibbo laughed, and Ari simply glanced at Rachel before smiling back, fully understanding that the “local language” meant he’d given the man a bung, and that the extra hundred thou was going straight into the Colonel’s own back pocket.

Bent bastard.

A few hours later everything was sorted, they’d been given everything they needed and Ari and Rachel walked out of the building, climbed in the arranged car and were dropped off on the main high-street where they headed to the inconspicuous Café that had been allocated as a meeting spot. Remaining in character, Ari and Rachel, or Guy and Angela, greeted their team loudly, as if it was the first time they had seen each other for a while, and then they all settled down at a table outside on the packed market square, and Ari briefed them as if he was briefing resort staff. They all listened, picked up on his cues and after a quick coffee each they all stood up to leave.

As they were leaving the Café, Max tossed one of the jeep’s keys at Ari, who caught them with a swift movement of his hand. Once they reached the spot where the vehicles were parked Ari opened the driver's door to one of them and turned to see his team had stopped and were looking at the trucks as if deciding who was going to ride in each one of the trucks.

"Ride with me?" Max turned to ask Hannah waving the other set of keys in the air.

"Yup. I call shotgun!" she said as a reply as she walked round to open the passenger side door.

"Right, I'll be on the back seat." Jake quipped as she pulled the seat forward and gestured for him to get in the back.

Ari shook his head, hands on his hips, as he looked at Sam and Rachel through his shades before opening the back door of their jeep for Sam to jump in, tossing his backpack on the floor of the car as Rachel went to the side of the passenger seat.

"Guess the three musketeers have decided for all of us." Ari said as he jumped up in the truck, a trace of bitterness in his voice which wasn't undetected by Sammy.

"Oh my. The great Ari Levinson scorned by part of his team." Sam said, amused and Rachel chuckled.

"You're hilarious Sammy." Ari deadpanned as he fixed the rear view mirror for the third time in the last couple of minutes before he set off.

"Maybe you should keep an eye on Jake." he spoke again a minute later, turning to look at Sam as if trying to make sure he understood what he was implying. Sam examined him for a few moments before speaking

"Yeah, maybe. And maybe you should keep an eye on the road and stop looking through the mirror." Sam deadpanned turning his head slowly to the side window.

***** A few hours later, they had a quick pit stop to stretch legs and changed drivers. Ari was keen to make as good time as possible so it was only for a few moments, Max taking a well needed pee at the side of the truck, groaning in relief. Hannah shook her head, before she climbed in the back of the jeep. They set off again, and their gentle chatter struck up once more.

"So..." Jake said, turning to glance over his shoulder at Hannah, one eye sort of remaining on the road. "I've been dying to ask. Your nicknames..." "What about them?" She asked, turning her head to face him from where she had been looking out of the window. "Why does Ari call you Firefly when the rest of the team seems to call you Cracker?"

Max snorted and looked at Hannah who was grinning. "Ok so the cracker thing came from a mission." She said, thinking fondly back "it was the first one we all actually ran together...me, Max, Sammy, Ari...Andy..." she trailed off for a moment before she continued "we were sat round the fire one night and Andy had a pack of those little savoury fish cracker things. We started playing a game as to how many each of us could fit in our mouths. Max insisted he would win...but who in fact did win Maxwell?" "You..." Max sighed "by 2 crackers" "So Andy started calling me crackers which became cracker and it stuck..." she shrugged. "Well, with everyone but Ari that is..." "Yeah, so explain the Firefly thing..." Jake pushed. "The first time I met Ari was when he came over one evening with Sammy. It was just before Sammy moved out." Hannah said "I was 17 and we were sat out in the garden at the back. It wasn't a huge garden, communal like, shared with 3 other houses but I loved it because there was a colony of lightning bugs, or fireflies that frequented it. It was a few months later Sammy was being an ass-hat about something and I flipped out at him and threw a mug at his head. It missed and smashed against the wall but Ari found it hilarious. Told I was just like those little fireflies I admired so much. Such an ordinary, unassuming thing on the outside with a hell of a surprise packed away underneath..." Jake paused and then started laughing "Now that's a back handed compliment if ever I did hear one." Hannah grinned "I know. When I asked him what he meant by ordinary you should have seen his face. He was all flustered and stammering and worried he'd offended me. Lasted all of 2 minutes until I cracked up laughing and told him I understood." "Well, fireflies are pretty awesome..." Jake smiled "A symbol of light in the dark, hope, warmth" "Yup, all things Ari said to me when he was back pedalling over the whole ordinary thing" Hannah smiled with a shrug "either way, it stuck."

My little firefly…

“Tell him what you call Ari.” Max said and Hannah snorted.

“El Lobo hambriento” She replied after a moment’s pause “Or Lobo for short.”

“And that means…” Jake looked at her again for a second.

“Spanish for the hungry wolf…” Hannah said “It came from when he used to eat my Mama out of house and home whenever he came round with Sammy. And over time it got shortened to Lobo…just wolf…”

Jake laughed “Well, he is kinda hairy…but you know, that should be my nickname given that I am actually a Wolf.”

“By name…” Max teased “You look like more of a poodle.”

Hannah laughed and leaned forward, so that her head poked between the front to seats in the car “You can be Loop.” “Loop?” Jake frowned.

“Short for Lupin…Latin for Wolf, or there or thereabouts anyway. Or it could just mean you’re a total fruit loop, take your pick…”

Jake gave a huge guffaw of laughter and looked at her ��Does that make you Little Red Riding Hood?”

Hannah snorted as Max shook his head, looking out at the window “That’s the shittest chat up line I’ve ever heard” he spoke, turning back to Jake.

“Can’t blame a man for trying” Jake winked.

After a total of six hours and a couple more stops to stretch and freshen up, if that was even possible in the middle of the desert, they arrived in the resort. But they couldn't properly see it until they got out of the trucks, the windows being partly covered by dust as they had taken shortcuts over sand dunes to save quite a few hours more off the travel time should they have opted to use the main roads.

When they finally got out of the car they took some clumsy steps on the sand after being into the confined space of car for that many hours. Jake lit a cigarette and as he looked at Ari he couldn't help but make a howling noise to Hannah who started laughing immediately. As if on cue, Max started howling too and the three of them were caught in a fit of hysteric laughter, Max bending his body for balance and Hannah leaning on Jake's arm.

Ari, Sam and Rachel stood there watching the three of them, dumbfounded. Ari shared a glance with Sam before he shot his sister a look and she pulled herself together still trying holding back laughter. Ari sighed before he took a few more steps towards the main entrance of the resort and the rest of the team followed suit.

They all stopped still, looking at the ram-shackled building in front of them, the words Red Sea Diving Resort were descripted in fading red paint above the large, archway shaped door. Hannah removed her shades, looking at it, and she let out a loud breath from where she stood at the end of the line they seemed to have formed, next to Max.

“It sure doesn't look like the brochure.” she said, and everyone turned to look at her, Max giving a small huff of laughter. After a second or so, Ari moved to the trucks to retrieve their luggage and the rest of them followed suit before they headed towards the entrance. Ari wrestled with the wooden trellised screen doors before he gave one a harsh push and it fell forward off its hinges, crashing to the floor sending up a cloud of dust and sand. He turned to look at them all, giving a shrug before he headed inside. They all followed and Hannah cast her eyes around as they hit the main room. All the window screens were shut, leaving it quite dark despite the bright late afternoon sunshine outside. Chairs and tables were piled haphazardly around the edges of the main room of the resort, various other pieces of furniture dotted around.

“It needs a little TLC.” Ari said, turning to the team.

“Nice.” Rachel chuckled.

“Oh, yeah?” Sammy snorted, pushing the shaded lenses on his glasses up as he looked around with a laugh. “What a dump.”

Hannah watched as Jake moved to open one of the sets of doors which led out onto the beach and instantly the place was flooded with light. She glanced at Max who smiled and they followed him out onto the beach.

“This is paradise!” Jake sighed. Max looked at him, incredulously, but Hannah had to admit, outside it was beautiful. A secluded cove of The Red Sea right was in front of them, the sun bouncing off the blue water, waves softly lapping at the shore.

Max pushed his glasses back up his nose and headed away to his right, Hannah following as they walked round the side of the resort and up a small boardwalk which led to a small pier of sorts.

“Well, hello, gorgeous…” she heard Max say. Hannah turned to see him examining a spear gun which was leaned up against the glass windows in front of him. She rolled her eyes.

“Your obsession with sniping weapons is worrying.” she arched an eyebrow.

He turned to face her with a grin before he tucked his shades into his shirt and picked up the fishing spear, holding it like a gun, checking down the sight target. The two of them stepped further round and Hannah frowned as Max stopped under a wooden shelter of sorts and the pair of them spotted the large, silver fish hanging from the structure. It had been beheaded, the head laying on a grill, and Max turned to look at her.

“This fish is fresh.” he frowned.

“Don’t eat it…” Hannah said instantly, teasing him about his obsession with food.

“Don’t eat…it’s fucking raw.” he rolled his eyes at her.

“Never had sushi?” she shot back.

“Don’t care for it much…” he mused before they both exchanged a glance, the seriousness of the fact that the fish, was indeed newly caught sinking in as Max turned to call back to the resort.

“Hey, yo, this fish is fresh!”

Ari who had been walking along the shore, heard Max’s call, along with Rachel’s which informed everyone she had found a newspaper from this week .He stopped and glanced back into the resort before he opened the door into one of the bedroom huts. Taking a glance round he threw open the wooden window screens, turning his face away as the sand and dust from outside blew into his face. It was then a familiar smell hit his nose and he glanced down to his left and saw that there were cigarette butts in an ashtray. One was still smoking slightly.

And then, someone jumped up from behind a pile of furniture in the corner of the room and shot out of the door. Ari turned and sprinted after him, yelling for him to stop and calling to the team. They all joined him, sprinting around the corner where Ari stopped at the sight of a group of what they could only assume were locals.

“Hello. My name...” Ari began, before he whipped off his sunglasses, figuring they might trust him more if they could see him eye to eye “My name's Guy Thomas. I'm the new owner of this hotel.”

The locals didn’t speak, and Hannah noticed that the woman at the front, adorned in bright yellow local dress was glancing at Max nervously.

“Max, lower that thing…” she said softly, as he had the spear gun raised.

Ari turned to face him and nodded, gesturing with his hands “Come on.”

“Sorry.” Max said gently, as he slowly lowered his weapon.

“Abu Hamid.” the man at the front of the group spoke to them.

“Hello.” Ari greeted him kindly.

“What the hell's going on?” Sammy spoke gently through his smile.

“I think we just met the local staff.” Ari said softly, looking round at everyone.

Part 2

#leave no one behind #ari levinson x ofc #ari levinson #red sea diving resort #red sea diving resort fan fic

49 notes · View notes

wanderingsoul · 4 years ago

Text

questions to ask yourself before the new year except its february and we’re in a pandemic

what is one small way you can become a better person? for others? for yourself?

i can become a better person by addressing the trauma that i carry, and addressing it, and learning to cope with it better. i can be a better friend, parter, daughter and sister by leaning into the parts of myself that are broken and taking the time to pursue healing in meaningful ways. i can become a better person by taking responsibility for my growth and healing and actively work towards a more healed, wholesome version of myself.

what are you holding onto currently that is no longer serving you? why are you holding on? what’s one small step you can take towards releasing it?

i am holding on to the idea that i can fix those around me. being in a partnership/friendship with someone that openly expresses brokenness pulls on the need inside of me to fix things, and fix her. except thats not how people work, and thats not how healthy relationships work. i am holding on to this because for a long time, and sometimes i think to this day, i have been the glue for so many people. i am the common denominator, i am the steady, i am the savior. and being with alexa is a challenge because i have to be fully present, and wanting to support, with the very present knowledge that i can do absolutely nothing to make her feel better, and i might get my feelings hurt if i try.

goal for the new year that excites me? goal that scares me?

the goal that excites me the most this year is buying a house. it feels like another piece in the puzzle of the ever-elusive “perfect life”. having a house, two cats and a garden is a dream that i am so desperately hoping becomes a reality this year.

a goal that scares me is getting a therapist. i put it on my new years goals and here we are, almost march and i am no closer to reaching that goal. there are lots of things about therapy that are scary, being vulnerable mostly. and also the fear that i am going to open a can of worms that i can’t put back. and at the same time, i am afraid i am going to do the same thing i did last time - convince my therapist i was completely healed and didn’t need her help anymore to make her feel like she did a good job. probably one of the most toxic people pleasing i have ever done.... yikes. so this year, i want to be vulnerable and open with a therapist- and truly learn from them.

what do you want to be a student of in the new year?

i want to be the student of self-love this year. i feel like i have so much to learn from her, and truly so much to gain. as i am on this journey of ~weight loss~ healthy living i want to learn how to truly love myself- in all the forms that i take. one of the childhood and teen traumas that i carry around is self-loathing for my physical body, and extreme uncomfortableness i feel inside of her. my body was different than i thought it should be, and i never felt thin or pretty enough. even though looking back i could not have been any thinner without blowing away. as i try and lose some weight to get back to a healthy range, its so tempting to chase that skinniness that seems closer than ever now. i don’t ever want to think about my body in a good or bad way again, the same with food. i want it all to be neutral and purposeful. i don’t want body positivity, i just want body neutrality. i want to be comfortable and unbothered. i want to take pictures and look for the joy and not be hyperfocused on the rolls.

a quote that i am taking with me on this journey -

“what if you wake up some day, and you’re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written, or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your things were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juice creative life of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? it’s going to break your heart. don’t let this happen.” - author unknown

who in your life deserves the biggest thank you for this year?

i am thankful for karl because of his understanding of me. i am thankful for mikaela for being a rock in my life and a cheerleader. i am thankful for silka because she offers more love than i know what to do with. i am thankful for alexa because she pushes me to be a better person. i am thankful for my mom, and her patience with me as i grow. i am thankful for my dad, and the hands-off role he has taken in my life. i am thankful for the friends that were patient and kind with me this year as i stayed away from most of them.

what can you thank yourself for this year?

i am thankful for the resiliency and grit it took to get through this year. feeling extremely burnt-out, from the pandemic, from social work and from life. managed to get a new job which is furthering my career in the healthcare field, managing to save a little money to buy a house. making it through the panic attacks and crying in the car at the thought of the losses in my life. thankfulness for the home that i have in myself, and the peace and safety i offer myself to be who i am and to encourage growth.

what have you outgrown this year?

i have outgrown pointless complaining. life is what you make it (to some degree) and i am choosing joy where i can and peace towards things i cannot affect.

what is an important boundary to set in the new year?

it is important to me this year to set emotional boundaries this year and create language to protect myself when i find myself trying to fix my partner and getting into old negative habits.

what’s a memory from this past year that makes you smile just thinking about it?

now this one’s a bit challenging because of the pandemic and social tension of this year, but i am choosing to focus on the personal good that happened in my life.

january- three way kiss with mariah and alexa. iceskating in CVS field with dalton. getting naked in the woods at taylors falls.

february - tall heights concert. drinks at cowboys with emily, alexa, sarah and meghan. raincloud and strawberry tattoos.

march - up/down bar with jaden and silka-getting mexican at 3am. cuddles on the couch with hippo while everyone was gone over spring break. drinking wine and looking at art at bethel. christian living on our couch- hiking afton. our neighbor mark gets his dog ella.

april- doordashing with knute- danny davito picture. staying with karl and mikaela for 3 weeks. getting drunk with jimu // garage door beer challenge. getting to ride on todd’s motorcycle.

may- seeing juneau for the first time. knute’s “just friends” instagram post. biking along st. croix with john. fishing with jaden at rapidan dam. lilac bushes blooming at the ranch. alexa’s graduation surprise. rollerblading... canoeing lake iduhapi with callie, sam, alexa and knute and smearing ourselves in charcoal. eating chinese and drinking wine for alexa’s birthday.

june- watching the dad’s try and fit our couch into the house. GFS- nightwatches, curfews. birthday bagels on the balcony. celebration at camp iduhapi. biking in northfield with jen. adopting juneau! bringing her everywhere with me. fathers day with john eating tacos. breonna taylor march. getting drenched walking around bdemakaska.

july- bee’s knees tattoo. cabin trip to barnum lake with alexa and jen. celebrating anthony’s birthday with alexa and erin (moving the gravestone). duluth trip with sam, knute and lea - jumping into lake superior. trip to padre island with john-getting way too burnt to function. chic fil a drivethrough with juneau.

august- camping trip with mikaela -attempt to get into canada and immediatly denied. murder mystery at emily’s house. rain on the patio for emily’s birthday. golden retriever puppies. dinner date with emma downtown minneapolis. annual brule trip- flipped the canoe.

september - alexa and i take a fake trip to ny. celebrating john’s birthday. visiting jeff’s farm. celebrating jen’s birthday in northfield. shooting pumpkins with jen. another trip up to barnum lake with karl, mikaela and seth. minnehaha trip with emma. jack’s apple farm trip.

october- camp trip, reffing football. making apple crisp. murder mystery night for sarah’s birthday. thrifting outdoor outlet with emma and lea. hanging with ozzy the cat. photoshoot with alexa and hippo. halloween party at caitlin’s house- being velma and daphne with alexa.

november - start working at bluestone. dinner at pub in minneapolis with jen where we die laughing. winning monopoly with callie and tyler. hiawatha hike with alexa. thanksgiving at silka’s.

december - giving the cats a bath. accidentally breaking into a cemetery with alexa. muffin’s christmas photoshoot. christmas at jens. sea world with molly, kody and kids, seth, john, k&m -forcing ourselves to watch blackfish the next day. tattoos! hammocking by the river. almost running into the elementary school on jimu’s dirtbike.

2 notes · View notes

ineedrelationshipadvice · 4 years ago

Note

Hi, I have a maybe strange problem - I keep having the urge to check the social media of my boyfriend's ex. This is not a jealousy/suspicion thing. For context, she was abusive towards him. I think I am trying to understand how someone can be like this. I have resisted for many months by rationalising that it's unhealthy and a waste of time, but the urge itself persists. How can I stop this urge? I'm not sure exactly why it exists. Thanks :)

I think this is a normal interaction. Is it healthy? That's a good question. Is it a waste of time? Most definitely. But I don't think this is an inherently bad thing that you're doing.

You're in a unique scenario. You are with your partner, you probably think they're pretty awesome, and you've probably heard quite a number of really awful things that this person has done. If this is the first time you've heard of someone being abusive to someone in your immediately sphere of influence, or if this is the worst example of it that you've seen in your personal life, it can be a bit shocking and confusing. How can someone have been SO HORRIBLE to someone I care about so much? Lots of thoughts can run through your head. Is it something my boyfriend did that made her act that way, and maybe I'm missing a red flag? Is she just that horrible of a person in general? If so, what made her so horrible? What is a red flag that I can look for in her behavior so I can see abusive behavior from people in my life in the future?

You said the right word in your message: rationalizing. This is you attempting to rationalize how an abuser can continue on in their life despite the terrible things they've done. You're trying to rationalize how this was even possible. And that's fine, because it means you're thinking critically. And I think everyone does this from time to time when they see something so GALLING that they just can't understand; your brain goes brrr at the very concept about how awful something is.

How can you stop the urge? Again, I don't think there's inherently anything WRONG with scratching this itch. You're not doing anything as long as you're not harassing anyone; if you're just looking on from afar and studying this like a zoologist of abusive exes, then that's not a bad thing. Just make sure you stay uninvolved and don't interact with this ex, and also don't talk about it at all with your partner, because they should have no more contact beyond anything he personally wants to engage in.

That being said, if you believe that your obsessive tendencies to analyze this ex is becoming problematic, then yeah, it's probably best to stop. How do you recognize if you've gone too far?

Are you losing sleep over this? If so, stop.

Are you becoming angry or frustrated over things she is doing? If so, stop.

Is this affecting your mood any time you engage with her? If so, stop.

Do you have better things to do? If so, stop, at least until you're finished with those things.

Another thing you can do is considering writing a small essay for yourself about their behavior, and what you've learned. It's fine to rationalize things in your head. But putting that shit on paper and properly trying to logic the whole thing out can help you put some finality to the "research" you've been doing, and what you've actually learned from the whole thing.

If you want to continue this analysis, just make sure you're setting limits upon yourself. It's fine to be curious, but don't devote time to this stupid person. Because you're a busy bee, and have plenty of things that are way more important to worry about that are not a crappy person from your partner's past. But again, don't feel weird for trying to rationalize things as you're doing.

To show you how to write an essay about your experiences analyzing someone, to show you that what you're doing isn't actually that strange, and mostly for my own selfishness, I'm going to write a brief essay below about a time where I did exactly what you are doing to someone who affected me in a similar way. You don't have to read it if you don't want, but it can show you how obsessive I got over it, and also is an example of how trying to force that shit into words through summary and recollection can help you put the situation to rest so you can move on with your life.

_________

An example from my own life. I wanted to teach in Japan. I applied for the program that would allow me to do so, and almost got in, but I eventually got turned down. I then heard, a year later, that a random person got into the same program, at the time when I would've been hired. They were kicked out of the program summarily after. Why? How did they get into a program I really wanted to get into, yet I didn’t and they did; furthermore, how were they KICKED OUT of the prestigious program I wanted to be apart of? How could they have been so irresponsible?

Turns out that they had extreme schizophrenia and BPD (two major health conditions that are supposed to be taken into account when applying for the program), and while in Japan working at their elementary school, they decided to go off their meds. When they went off their meds, they decided they had a crush on a co-worker, and started dating them. They got into an argument one day, and it upset her. She decided to go to her partner’s house and sit on the porch until he made up with her. He obviously found out about this after he got off of work, and noped the fuck out of there, because he was being actively stalked at his home. The police were called, and the girl called the police "fascists" and accused them of being "pedophiles" and "raping her" because she was sitting in a manner where her full-ass pussy was exposed because she wasn't wearing underwear under her skirt (you can't make this shit up). Obviously, the cops called her job, and she got deported.

I was aghast. Here I am, imminently qualified for this job, but she got it instead, despite her health conditions. Then, not only was she irresponsible in the position, but she literally stalked someone, got reported to police, lost her job, and deported from the country. How could I not get this job but she could? What did she do right that I didn't, because everything I'm seeing, she did many obvious things very wrong.

So, like you, I irrationally followed her on social media. Instead of going home to USA (where apparently her family had disowned her), she went from Japan to Russia, making her way to Moscow, and then to central Europe where she apparently had some friends. This led her to Germany, where she got in trouble with the police for illegal substances and being intoxicated in public. She bounced from Germany to The Netherlands, where she found a place to live. Stayed there a bit, getting high on all manner of drugs, until she apparently got kicked out of her friend's place. She lived homeless for awhile, until the police picked her up, and sent her to a sanatorium. She claimed she was being unlawfully held against her will, even though she was literally ranting and raving on social media about all manner of racist, homophobic, and sexist shit, pooping on the floor, refusing to wear clothing or cooperate with the doctors, clearly off her meds, completely lost to the world, only occasionally having lucid moments during 12+ hour livestreams from her sanatorium.

She was eventually let out and deported, but this time she was forced to go back to her home in Georgia, USA. She was told to report to the local police department, and then to the doctor to renew her medication (which the sanatorium prescribed her). She got to the USA, threw her medication in the trash (she had apparently been faking taking the medication for some time), and went to her friend's house in Atlanta. There, she got in a fight, and got kicked out. She was homeless for a long time, but instead of letting that get her down, she was screaming racist things at black people in the public parks, and somehow attended MomoCon even though she said she was broke and had no money??? She got taken to another sanatorium at some point, was eventually released, and then somehow got inducted into a master's program at the local university (even though she still had no home or money). And that's where I last checked in on her.

What did I learn from that fuckin' wild story? Because you probably lost the point somewhere halfway through, as did I. The reason I got so obsessive about this chick is because I was upset that she got a job and I didn't. So through all that rationalizing I did what did I actually LEARN?

Well, I learned that she's crazy, obviously. And I learned that I was jealous of her for getting the job I thought I deserved, and was watching her ongoing failures in some weird manner of spite. And I was also just flabbergasted, because it was like watching a trainwreck, and I couldn't look away, because I've never seen someone like her bounce around between so many crazy adventures, failing every step along the way, and still somehow succeeding? And how did she get all these prestigious decisions despite being homeless, off her meds, and doing terrible things? Likely because she lied about her qualifications and never got caught in her lies. It was a time.

2 notes · View notes

angrylilfic · 5 years ago

Text

On the Wild Side part 3

Not even gonna cap.... I'm having so much fun writing this series:))))) and I hope you like it too!

(not my gif but I love it)

_____

By Friday, four more earthquakes had ravaged the city. It was early in the morning when the rumbling began, followed by the earthquake alarms.

Trini snapped up out of bed, feeling ghost pain through the ranger bond. Kimberly quickly woke up as well, breathing harshly. Trini focused on the pain and saw a flash of red and blue in front of the hospital.

“It’s the boys, they’re in trouble.” Trini said, pulling on her shoes and throwing Kim her shirt.

The girls snuck out through Kim’s window, climbing down the tree next to the house. Zack ran up to them.

“Did you guys feel that?” He asked, helping Trini down from the tree.

“Yeah, it’s bad. I felt the wind blow out of me.” Kim said. Together the three of them ran across town to the hospital.

_____

When they arrived on the scene, it was like the first battle with Rita all over again. Jason and Billy were being ambushed by two large creatures made of what looked like tiny bees. Every hit the boys threw just fell through them.

Trini felt the thing inside her stir as she watched Billy get picked up and thrown against the entrance sign to the hospital. Trini bared her teeth as she pulled her armor on and ran at the monsters.

“Trini wait!” Zack called as she started throwing kicks and punches relentlessly.

She got a couple hits in before the monster let out a howl. The monster split in two and started attacking her on both sides. Trini tried her hardest to avoid getting hit, but she overestimated one punch and the beast hit her square in the chest, Trini went flying backwards and into a car.

“Trin! Baby you okay?” Kim asked, inspecting her suit for any damage. Trini shook her head.

“Watch out!” she yanked Kimberly to the side as a piece of rubble came inches from hitting them.

“Guys we have a problem.” Zack called through the coms.

The monsters had multiplied themselves. They ripped a hole into the side of the wall and were walking out with a handful of unconscious kids.

“What the fuck?” Jason said as he lifted a large chunk of the wall off Billy.

The team shook themselves off, the monsters were getting away. They ran after them, eventually cornering them in an alley.

“Got ya! Now drop the kids.” Jason demanded.

The beasts seemed to smile before a portal opened and someone stepped out. A little boy, not more than 9 years old, his eyes glowing an icy blue. For a moment, Trini stared him in the eyes and they turned a bright yellow, Trini felt the thing in her chest hum. Then the boy’s eyes turned blue again.

The monsters stepped in and just as quickly as the portal opened, it was gone.

“Who the fuck was that? What the fuck just happened? Aww man we’re fucked.” Zack groaned as they started back for home.

_____

The team had all gone back to their homes, but it hadn't even been an hour before Billy called them all to the ship.

“B, man you’re trippin’ it’s like three in the morning dude.” Trini sighed as they all walked into Billy’s lab.

“I know, I know it’s early but you guys have to take a look at this,” Billy said turning the monitor to them, “Okay so Jason and I were out looking at all the buildings that got hit by the earthquakes, and how they could be connected to the missing kids. We found that all the buildings were connected to some kids in the same hospital.”

“So? What does that have to do with why those monsters took them?” Zack asked.

“Well, firstly they weren’t technically monsters, they were made out of synchronized nanobots. Secondly, I can’t find any medical records as to what those kids were being treated for, so I’m not sure why they were taken.”

Jason stroked his chin. It was too big of a coincidence for the wrecked buildings and the kidnapped kids to be related.

“What about the kids missing from school?”

“All related to families whose houses or workplaces got wrecked in the earthquakes or got sent to the hospital in the last couple days.” Billy replied.

Jason scratched his chin,“I doubt this is over with, but we don’t even know who’s kidnapping all these kids. For now let’s just go home and get some sleep.”

“You too Bil, c’mon let’s go home.” Kim said as they all got ready to head home.

_____

Trini was falling asleep in class that day, one second they were talking Shakespear, the next her head was rolling onto her desk.

“Miss Gomez, why don’t you tell us what he meant by the end of the play.” their english teacher, Mr. Cole said standing in front of the class.

“Hm? Um. I think um.” Fuck she was stumped. A couple of the other kids snickered.

Kimberly took pity on her girlfriend and answered the question.

“Well Mr. Cole I think what Trini is trying to say is that when Shakespeare wrote the end of the play, he was trying to convey the idea that even though they both died, in a way it was better for them because now they didn’t have to hide their love.”

“Hm. Yes, thank you miss Hart.” he said, casting a pointed look at Trini.

The bell rang just in time to save Trini from any more embarrassment.

The girls walked out and headed for the cafeteria for their free period.

They took their spot at their usual table, Kim sat and leaned her body against the wall while Trini dropped her head on the other girl’s shoulder. Kimberly draped her jacket over Trini’s small frame.

“You tired?” Kimberly said, rubbing Trini’s head.

“Mhm. Just let me get a quick nap in and I’ll be good.”

Trini’s nap was interrupted, however, due to the fact that the whole school was rumbling again.

“Guys!” Billy came running into the cafeteria, “There’s some nanobot monsters that are attacking the elementary school, we gotta go.”

Trini’s head popped up, Angel Grove Elementary was where her brothers were. The beast was clawing inside her chest, ready to pounce into action.

_____

Zack and Jason were already trying to control the monsters when they arrived on the scene. Some of the kids were rounded up into the corner while the boys fought them off, or at least tried.

A scream made Trini stop in her tracks, It was her brothers. She whirled around, the monsters were breaking down the door of a classroom and were throwing kids around.

“Help! Power rangers help us!” Manny, her youngest brother called, Daniel clinging to his brother.

The monster lifted its enormous hand, ready to strike.

A growl ripped from her throat. Suddenly, Trini’s vision slowed, as though she was running faster and everything else was slowing down. Trini swooped in front of the boys, punching the monsters back. She looked down and saw the fingers on her suit had sharpened into claws. Trini swung at the monsters, leaving deep slashes in their bodies, but her inexperience with the claws got the better of her and they got stuck.

Trini kicked off the monster’s shoulder, releasing her hands and sending it back.

The monsters got back up with a roar, charging towards her. Trini roared herself. The vibrations sent them flying back. They slunk back into a portal and in a flash, the monsters were gone.

The kids ran up to her, “That was amazing!” they praised her.

Trini breathed in deeply, the adrenaline leaving her body slowly.

Then everything went black.

#trimberly fic #power rangers 2017 fic #hehehe i love this series #on the wild side

6 notes · View notes

newagesispage · 5 years ago

Text

JUNE 2020

PAGE RIB

FX and Ryan Murphy will bring us season 10 of American Horror Story next year. The cast includes Mac Culkin, Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson, Evan peters, Billie Lourd, Lily Rabe and Finn Wittrock. There will also be a spinoff called, wait for it, American Horror Stories. Woo Hoo!!

*****

Reno 911 is back

*****

I happen to have a clementine in my butt. –Jimmy Kimmel

*****

NASA got their dragon launch. It is unfortunate that they had to compete with the current cycle.

*****

Sam Springsteen (son of Patti and Bruce) has been sworn in as a Jersey City firefighter.

*****

Ryan Murphy’s Hollywood is great. I don’t know how to feel about the fast and the loose and the nice made up endings like Once upon a time in Hollywood. Will this be a trend??** Another great one on Netflix is, Have a good trip.

*****

Are there biopics in the works for Michael and Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, the Bee Gees and Bowie?? That is the word.

*****

Days alert: Look for Lani to become pregnant. Eli and Justin are both thinking marriage. Claire is back which will bring Shawn and Belle back. Gabi may be kidnapped. Word is that July will have a wedding every week that will lead to a funeral. Allie Horton is all grown up and heading back with a secret. Will she be like Mom, Sami?? Brady thinks that ruining Titan will get back at Victor. Sonny and Will may get a chance at another child. Eve may be back later in the summer. And, C’mon Xander, do something wonderful to get your woman back. Lucas may be on the way back and Orpheus is leaving. ** Judi Evans (Adrienne) had a serious horseback riding accident on May 16. She had broken ribs, a collapsed lung and 2 chipped vertebrae. The good news was in the hospital they discovered a blood clot so the whole thing saved her life.

*****

Morton Buildings is being sued by 2 women for harassment and discrimination. One incident claims an employee said, “God created women by lining up all the men and castrating the stupid ones.” Another lawsuit was filed in 2009.**Thanks for the tip, Di.

*****

If you expect elementary school children to endure the trauma of active shooter drills for your freedoms, you can wear a mask to Costco. –Sara Elizabeth Dill

*****

House republicans have sued Pelosi to block proxy voting.

*****

Seth Rogan, Steve Carell and Ben Schwartz are donating funds to bailout Minneapolis protestors after the death of George Floyd.** The country has been turned upside down as another cop kills another black man. No need to rehash, we have all seen it. I wonder if those four horrible cops are proud of what they have done to their city. Could we finally have a tipping point in this time when racism is spotlighted with our racist President? After many incidents in just the past couple of weeks and everyone on edge with coronavirus, it has boiled over. Scary Clown threatens to start shooting as Minneapolis burns down. Burn down a police station, get a cop arrested (finally)? Seems worth it to me. The way the killer looked into the camera as if he was just so proud is gonna stick with us as it should. ** A CNN crew were arrested live on the air but released later after Jeff Zucker spoke to Gov. Walz.** Liberate Minnesota was the Trump tweet, well, they are working on it.** I am hearing people saying in all sincerity lately that it is time for the humans to go, we are ruining each other and the planet.

*****

If you have not seen the Killer Mike speech from Atlanta, you need to check it out.** Netflix, Hulu and Paramount are taking a stand and showing support for the Black lives matter movement.

*****

John Cusack put out video of police coming at him with batons and pepper sprayed him as he protested in Chicago. More than 1000 were arrested and it continues.** In Flint, Sheriff Chris Swanson and other police put down helmets and joined the protestors. Police in Schenectady took a knee and joined the march. The behavior is spreading and look what a difference it makes, could they be starting to get it?

*****

Never thought I’d say this but in light of everything that is happening, the DNC made a big mistake in not backing Berne Sanders. –Pete Buttigieg ** Ok, first, of course he is right but you helped set this all in motion. It is a bit late for that …or is it? Biden is not the OFFICIAL nom, the deal is not done yet. Will Bernie jump back in the race?? Perhaps we will soon see BERNE FOR PRESIDENT again.

*****

American carnage was a self -fulfilling prophecy, alas. –Susan Glasser

*****

Scary Clown 45 has designated Antifa a terrorist organization. ** There is no legal authority for designating a domestic group, any such designation would raise significant concerns. –ACLU

*****

In any season, police violence is an injustice, but its harm is elevated amidst the remarkable stress people are facing amidst covid-19. Even now, there is evidence of excessive police initiated force and unwarranted shootings of civilians, some of which have been fatal. –American Medical Association.

*****

Washington Week had a great discussion about how all the ills in US history have played out in 2020. Impeachment, pandemic, depression and civil unrest are all here at once.

*****

Word is that Trevor Noah has been proven much more popular than the other late night hosts since they have been at home.

*****

I predict the picture of the upside down flag with the backdrop of the burning liquor store will be the lasting image of the Trump Presidency.

*****

This is the Presidency George Wallace never had. –Max Boot

*****

Spanish flu, Polio, Aids, Covid-19: Why don’t people get any smarter? The masses (and sometimes those in charge) can get it wrong over and over again. From Dr.? Phil and Dr Oz and their cavalier attitude toward death to Rosie wanting her son to take a leave of absence from the grocery store, we just do not learn. Even before that, I can’t forget the woman who wanted to change her vote after she found out Buttigieg was married to a man. Is she even a dem? Do your research people! Respect others, people!! Have compassion, stop being so selfish and use your brains!!** Puerto Rico was a pre curser to the pandemic response.

*****

Amy Cooper Chris Cooper? WTF? Another liberal who is not really liberal.

*****

Crime in general is down and police shootings are up. And yes, now the opportunists are out of control and anger is boiling over but protests against police brutality causing police brutality is WRONG!

*****

Check out the book, What makes a marriage last, from Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue.

*****

Ben Taub, Barry Blitt and Colson Whitehead have won the Pulitzer Prize.

*****

Word is that Nick Cage will play Joe Exotic of Tiger King fame. Of course he will.

*****

I refuse to wear a mask because God did not have us born with one.- Nino Vitali** How many people have you heard say, “The President isn’t wearing a mask, so I don’t have to.”

*****

It looks like Apple will partner with Paramount for Scorsese’s adaptation of Killers of the Flower Moon.

*****

Oh my: Scary Clown is having a twitter feud with twitter! He has to, of course, lash out and now signs an executive order targeting social media. He is going on about section 230 which gives immunity to social media companies against being sued over content. It could curb liability protection. Experts say it will only encourage lawsuits because he does not want to be edited.

*****

If Native American tribes were counted as states, the five most infected states in the US would all be native tribes. –Nicholas Kristof

*****

Did ya see that Jeff Epstein doc from James Patterson. It is lays blame in all directions. Why does it seem like all these old guys on there with all that money have such yellow teeth?

*****

Lindsey Graham is urging Federal judges in their mid to late 60’s to step down so they can fill the spots with republicans.

*****

Richard McGuire tried to live at Disney World in a zoological park that was closed down.

*****

Caterpillar, Levi, Black and Decker and others have cut jobs but gave millions to shareholders.

*****

Axl Rose and Steve Mnuchin had a twitter feud.

*****

China announced plans to introduce a National Security law in Hong Kong. The law enables mainland Chinese National security agencies to operate in the city for the first time. Using a rarely used constitutional method, they bypassed Hong Kong legislature. Since the former British colony became a semi-autonomous region of China more than 20 years ago, they have manages its own affairs. The law will affect media, education, politics and international business. Many acts will now be criminalized. Hong Kong is party to international treaties guaranteeing civil liberties that China is not. The U.S. is urging Bejing to reconsider. Pro- democracy demonstrators in Hong Kong were tear gassed as they yelled, “Liberate Hong Kong, revolution of our times.”

*****

The Michael Flynn charges were dropped.

*****

Holyoke soldier’s home in Massachusetts lost 70 souls to Coronavirus. AP photographer David Goldman got a projector and cast big pictures the vets onto the homes of loved ones. Each one had a story including one vet who was sent to Nuremberg to guard Nazis. He claimed to have filled Hermann Goring’s glass with toilet water.

*****

The swimming Dinosaur, Spinosaurus has been getting a lot of attention. The Sahara desert which was once massive rivers kept the first intact aquatic dinosaur. With a snout, teeth and jaw like a croc, it is so far the only known kind of dinosaur that lived in the water. The 50 foot long bizarre fin-like tail is like a giant paddle. Paleontologists encourage others to have a look at other fossils to see if there are more.

*****

Octavia Spencer is said to have been telling everyone she is a year younger than she is. She is turning 50.

*****

The $69 million ventilator scam. Really? The White House heard from a guy who told them he could supply the product so the WH told NY to order them and stood behind the guy but it was a scam. Scary Clown sure loves his shady people, intentional or not.** A Florida woman, Rebecca Jones claims that she was asked to fudge the numbers to make reopening look better. ** Georgia moved their dates around on a graph to make their cases seem flattened. ** For 17 months, Florida investigated voter fraud for Trump and Gov. Scott. They found NOTHING!!

*****

Amazon stock price is up 25% yet they have become notorious for the terrible way they treat their workers. Bezos is set to become a trillionaire.

*****

We have to remember that order comes from chaos. True enhancements can come from large scale crisis. What will we learn from this one? This is a warning!!** Universal health care? No more buffets? ** Prices will probably go up everywhere what with the closings and all the extra cleaning. I hope this means that hotel bedspreads will be cleaned after every stay. It looks like there may be no cocktails or food on planes.

*****

Take a virtual tour of the statue of liberty. All the fun without all the swaying.

*****

Local PBS stations are making it easier to learn. Students will be able to put on a channel for lessons that does not need cable or internet. Woo Hoo!!

*****

Insiders say that Trump threatened to sue his campaign manager because he did not agree with his assessment and the poll numbers in a 2 day rant.** Just one more example of Scary Clown double talk. Then: Less testing, less positives. Now: So much testing is a badge of honor.**Doctors without Borders are now here, not the third world countries that they usually help, it is US.

*****

Haven’t we had enough of powerful men being accused? A female Dem candidate would have been nice and Bernie did not seem to have any baggage that way either.

*****

Will the Senate see fit to ok some more stimulus $? 4 trillion to prop up Wall Street seems per the usual. Enough for them, let’s take care of those small businesses and those really in need.

*****

Thao and the get down stay down is one of the best in this internet entertainment era.

*****

Check out Stars in the House with Tony Shalhoub and others.

*****

The Detectorists on Acorn TV is a great little show!!

*****

Happy Day! There is a new season of At Home with Amy Sedaris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

It looks like Pier 1 will permanently close as well as JC Penney, J Crew, Sears and Neiman Marcus.

*****

Check out the wonderful, This is about Humanity!!

*****

Have U seen the trailer for The King of Staten Island?? OMG Pete Davidson, Steve Buschemi and Marisa Tomei , just to name a few!! I can’t fucking wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

Bill Maher looked really high on his 5-22-20 show. This working from home makes him much more mellow!!

*****

3 Russian doctors treating coronavirus have fallen out of windows in about a weeks time.** Russia boasts that it has more ventilators per capita than the U.S. After they made fun of us, on May 22, the first shipment of U.S. ventilators headed to Russia. They are a gift from Trump and the U.S. taxpayers. –Julia Davis

*****

State Department Inspector General Steve Linick is out. Was he investigating Pompeo? Trump never knows anything about any of it. Why are all the protectors of the rule of law thrown out? ** Was Pompeo throwing lavish foreign policy dinners with Reba, Dale Jr. and the owners of that horrid chicken sandwich place? ** The clean water rule has been suspended which cuts protections for most of the country’s wetlands.

*****

The market facilitation program has been helping small farmers over the last few years in a $28 billion bailout. Trump’s sanctions brought this on and the corona virus has made it worse. Mostly the money has helped bankers and bigger farms. Much like the stimulus $ that was earmarked for small business, there are loopholes that screw up the ‘rules.’ The cap is not being followed like they may say because the $ is going to “investors” in the farm and often not the actual farmer who works on a smaller scale. A small farm run by family members may not get the bailout. It seems to be more important to get a good lawyer who can manipulate the paperwork. Sad that taxpayer $ is used this way.

*****

Just in time, the Space Force flag and plans for the super duper missile have been unveiled. WTF??

*****

Paula Poundstone is a woman I knew I liked. She was recently talking about not liking couches. I thought I was the only one, People are always telling me how much they love their couches and I don’t get it.

*****

Jeff Gibbs and Michael Moore are upset after Youtube pulled their doc, Planet of the Humans. After 8.3 million views, there was a copyright claim by Toby Smith of about 4 seconds of footage. Now , this is not the first time that Moore has had problems with content in one of his movies. Many have claimed there is a lot of fiction in this latest venture. I think I would just remove the possible copyright infringement and move on. It can now be seen on Vimeo.

A Florida law that restricts felon voting is found unconstitutional by a federal judge.** The RNC filed a lawsuit against California to stop mailing ballots to registered voters.

*****

R.I.P. Little Richard, Roy Horn, Jerry Stiller, Sam Lloyd, Ann Sullivan, Mike Cogswell, Michael Keenan, Shirley Knight, Irrfan Khan, Hana Kimura, Forrest Compton, Jimmy Cobb, George Floyd, Ken Osmomd, all the corona victims, Lynn Shelton, Richard Herd, Larry Kramer, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Anthony James, Fred Willard and Carolyn Busch.

2 notes · View notes

arcticdementor · 6 years ago

Link

I don’t revisit my old work. I’ve been writing this weekly column for four and a half years now, and I never reread old pieces. Because for me—and I’m sure I’m not alone among opinion journalists in this regard—each essay I pen represents a catharsis of sorts. I had some bee in my bonnet, I wrote about it, and now I’ve had my say. What reason is there to go back? If what I’ve written resonates with readers, the piece will go viral. If not, it won’t. But regardless, I’ve relieved myself of whatever was busting to come out.

…

The sense of release that comes from having your say and being heard, though it may seem trivial to those with no opinions to share, can in fact be quite powerful.

Which brings me to the recent crop of right-wing mass shooters: Robert Bowers in Pittsburgh (shot up a temple), Brenton Tarrant in Christchurch (shot up a mosque), and John Earnest in Poway (shot up a different temple). As an old-timer with a morbid fascination for these things, there’s an odd twist to this new breed of gunslingin’ whiteys, compared with the ones from my youth. Before James Huberty shot up a McDonald’s full o’ Mexicans in 1984, he tried to seek medical help for what he knew was an incipient psychotic episode. Huberty had no political goals. He was feeling compelled to “hunt humans,” and deep down, he knew there was something wonky with his wiring.

In 1989, Patrick Purdy opened fire on a bunch of Asian schoolkids at Cleveland Elementary in Stockton, Calif. (our crappiest cities love naming their schools after even crappier ones, as a reminder that things can always be worse). Purdy started his day by calling in a threat to the school, telling them what he was going to do. Then he drove his car behind the school and set it on fire…loaded with fireworks! Still, the teachers and staff laughed it off, displaying the keen intellect that so exemplifies California public school employees. “We got a threat of a mass shooting? And now we have an exploding car? Crazy coincidence, man. Jupiter must be in renegade or somethin’.”

…

But today, the white dudes who commit these types of shootings leave behind lengthy, detailed manifestos. More than that, they leave themselves behind. Mass shooters in the ’80s and ’90s rarely survived, typically dying by their own hand. But these guys seem to really, really want to be taken alive. Anders Breivik in Norway was the first. Lengthy manifesto, taken alive, and he stood trial with no apologies, like a political dissident facing a kangaroo court (which it kinda was; the bastard got only 21 years for 77 murders). The Pittsburgh, Christchurch, and Poway shooters, same deal. Lengthy manifestos and 8chan posts, taken alive, now awaiting trial. Charleston’s Dylann Roof? Lengthy manifesto, taken alive, unapologetic at trial.

This is the age of the “intellectual” (and please note the scare quotes) racist killer. Black mass shooters continue to excel at their preferred specialty—workplace massacres. But white mass shooters have evolved, so to speak. Now they all want to be op-ed writers. Which brings me back to my initial point: the cathartic nature of ranting in an essay and putting it out for the world to see. It has a cleansing, purgative effect, like (again, not to be crude) a really good poop. I’ve read every one of those racial murder manifestos, and you know what? They’re as good as anything on any leftist race-baiting site. Roof? Tarrant? Earnest? Breivik? In terms of writing ability, in terms of effective polemics, their work is no worse than what you find leftists spewing on BuzzFeed, HuffPost, Salon, ThinkProgress, Vox, etc.

“White guys are killing us,” “Let’s deport all white males,” “White men must be stopped,” “White men are the face of terror,” “The plague of angry white men,” “White people are cowards,” “When white women cry: How white women’s tears oppress women of color.” These actual essays are just as racist and just as inflammatory as anything the murderer Breivik wrote. But guess what? You can post ’em freely on Facebook and Twitter!

Leftist antiwhite sites that are allowed to exist by our benevolent internet overlords—sites that are allowed to have advertisers, sites you can post on social media—employ writers who are no more skilled than these murderers, and just as hateful. In terms of writing ability, I’d put Breivik and Tarrant up against any of the semi-tards who post at Salon. Hell, those two guys, whose manifestos together total more than 1,574 pages, are exactly the kind of prolific ideologues who, were they leftists, would be highly sought after by the editors of high-quantity political sites.

But ay, there’s the rub. See, the right-wing versions of left-wing race-haters aren’t allowed the catharsis. Banned from social media, banned from websites with traffic, they write their “masterpieces” knowing that the only way their work will be seen is if the media has a reason to publicize it. So, they give the media a reason.

…

Since Breivik, every racial mass murderer with a manifesto has stated that he hopes his words and actions will provoke a race war and foment racial conflict. Same exact goal as the leftist race extremists at CNN, The L.A. Times, HuffPost, and BuzzFeed. Stir shit up between the races. But leftists get to do it with words. They’re allowed to do it with words…words that are seen and heard. When Don Lemon comes home after a hard day of yelling at white people, as he greases his backside with Vaseline, don’t doubt for a moment that he feels a sense of satisfaction that his hate has an audience. Again, this is the catharsis that ideologues feel when they know their words are actually reaching people.

…

The increase in verbose, “literate” white racist mass killers is not unrelated to the banning of far-right thought from popular internet platforms (and, in some cases, from the internet itself). Do you think it’s gone unnoticed by extremists that the only way these manifestos get seen by a wide audience is when they’re accompanied by murder? Several of these manifestos have expressed a hope that the concomitant murders will provoke governments into imposing more censorship, more gun control, and upping the antiwhite rhetoric, thereby creating even more racial conflict. And the left has responded exactly as these killers hoped. More censorship, more gun control, and more antiwhite rhetoric, thus disrespecting the victims by carrying out the wishes of the nuts who murdered them.

After 9/11, the left’s favorite line was “Don’t let the terrorists manipulate us into doing their bidding! They want us to start bombing Muslim countries! They want us to initiate a war between the West and Islam! We honor the victims of 9/11 by understanding what the terrorists were trying to bring about, and not letting it happen.”

Notice how that’s never the talking point in the wake of a racist mass shooting. You know why? The left genuinely did not want to go to war against Muslim nations. The left genuinely did not want conflict with the Muslim world. But the left really does want the same race war that Roof, Tarrant, Bowers, and Earnest seek to foment. So leftists ignore their own post-9/11 advice, and play right into the killers’ hands.

#taki's mag #david cole #read the whole thing #anders behring breivik #brenton tarrant

3 notes · View notes

samdelpapa · 6 years ago

Text

youtube

Se sapete l'inglese capite meglio={Oh, What a Lovely Race War! - Taki's Magazine

photo credit: Wikimedia Commons

Anders Behring Breivik

Not to be crude (a phrase inevitably uttered by those who are about to be crude), but it’s a bit like having a really good bowel movement. After you’ve had a fully satisfying bathroom experience, your body feels free, emptied, unburdened. And you’re ready to move on.

The sense of release that comes from having your say and being heard, though it may seem trivial to those with no opinions to share, can in fact be quite powerful.

Sadly, five Vietnamese and Cambodian kids soon realized it wasn’t just a “crazy coincidence” as Purdy’s bullets shattered their bodies. Having defeated the dastardly tykes, Purdy killed himself. Authorities found that he’d carved the words “freedom,” “victory,” “Earthman,” and “Hezbollah” into his rifle, and on his flak jacket he’d scrawled “PLO,” “Libya,” and “death to the Great Satin [sic].”

“I’m not saying the recent spate of racist shootings can be entirely pinned on the silencing of the far right, but I do believe it’s a factor.”

And on that very day, a homicide detective coined the phrase, “the fuck?” Because how disjointed can you get? There was no coherent agenda. Death to America, hooray for PLO and Hezbollah, yet he targeted Asian kids and practically dared the school to stop him before he killed. Like Huberty, this was no ideologue. He was a loon with a bunch of loose screws.

I’m not saying the recent spate of racist shootings can be entirely pinned on the silencing of the far right, but I do believe it’s a factor. Groups like the ADL and SPLC, and cowards like Zuckerberg and Dorsey, have so effectively cleansed the ’net of rightist thought (including the commonsense, nonviolent kind), extremist whites are not allowed the release of taking a good figurative shit (oh wait, I forgot to preface that with “not to be crude”). Yeah, they can write stuff for their eyes only, but any real opinion journalist knows that the catharsis comes not just from the writing, but from knowing that your words will be seen. That’s where the feeling of satisfaction comes in. That’s what allows you to move on.

Since Breivik, every racial mass murderer with a manifesto has stated that he hopes his words and actions will provoke a race war and foment racial conflict. Same exact goal as the leftist race extremists at CNN, The L.A. Times, HuffPost, and BuzzFeed. Stir shit up between the races. But leftists get to do it with words. They’re allowed to do it with words…words that are seen and heard. When Don Lemon comes home after a hard day of yelling at white people, as he greases his backside with Vaseline, don’t doubt for a moment that he feels a sense of satisfaction that his hate has an audience. Again, this is the catharsisthat ideologues feel when they know their words are actually reaching people.

A feeling of helplessness and the frustration of being ignored often accompany mass killings. This helps explain why blacks prefer workplace shootings to ideological ones. D’Quanté Jones can scribble a barely literate “essay” about how “white people be racist when they be chewin’ they food,” or “white people need to STFU and quit havin’ babies,” and it will get published, guaranteed, at HuffPost, The Root, Ebony, The Grio, etc. His screed will be allowed on Twitter and Facebook, and he’ll see, from the cheers and jeers in the comments and the retweets and reposts from friends and foes alike, that he’s had an impact. He’ll get that purgative release. But at work? D’Quanté feels left out, ignored by his white colleagues, who, oddly enough, don’t enjoy socializing with someone who hates them.

Eventually, D’Quanté will deal with those feelings of frustration by coming to work with a gun. “Now y’all pay attention to me, motherfuckers.”

To be clear, neither side will get its beloved race war. As is the case with all wars, the vast majority of ordinary people want none of it. They go about their lives, generally getting along well with others, reserving violent impulses for domestic situations and personal squabbles, rather than grand ideological goals.

But still, the clown parade will march on. Leftist race extremists will continue to be allowed major platforms to spew antiwhite hatred with a clear desire to provoke, while rightist extremists, denied platforms to do the same, will continue to find “creative” ways to be heard. There’ll be no race war, but lots of small-scale bloodshed. And the twisted, unspoken “partnership” between far-right killers and the media and government leftists who do their bidding will continue.

And everyone will live happily ever after (except for the victims and their families, but c’mon, who cares about them when there’s a race war to wage!).}

0 notes

westakoasta · 7 years ago

Text

DJ RASCUE aka EB.F (VARIOUS BLENDS) - 2018

I recently had the chance to interview RasCue aka Eb.F from Various Blends. Ras is a DJ/ Producer/ MC from the Bay Area and has been consistently putting dope music since the early 90es.

We discussed through mail about numerous subjects, from his beginnings alongside future Hobo Junction members or Peanut Butter Wolf to his recent unreleased VB album.

He dedicated this interview to the memory of DJ Stef.

Enjoy.

Can you tell us about your first steps in hip hop, meeting Friz-B, Rasco, etc. The beginnings of VB?

Various Blends started in the City of San Mateo, CA. Rasco was born in Cleveland, Ohio and moved to San Mateo as a kid in the mid 70's. Friz was born in Oakland, CA and grew up in San Mateo. I was the last one to come around when my family moved to San Mateo in 1980. I was 10 years old. Friz and I lived in East San Mateo, Rasco live on the Westside or what we say "the other side of the tracks". Where Rasco lived, there was a community center that was the Martin Luther King Center, but it was known as the "King Center". There also was a Boys Club that many kids play at. I know I saw Rasco there once or twice. Although Friz was one year older than Rasco and I, kids in different neighborhoods would meet up and hangout. I met Friz in 1980, where he lived 3 blocks away from the same elementary school we went to. It wasn't ‘til 1982 middle school where I met Rasco and we were both very much into basketball.

In 1982-83, Friz had gotten JVC turntables and a Realistic Mixer. Hip-Hop & DJing were really big in the Bay Area and many kids were getting equipment. Friz and I started deejaying together and was into popping and breaking (I popped, Friz use to break). That's were the beginnings of the music started.

Friz and I ended up going to different high schools and Rasco and I went to high school together in 1984 and became good friends. I introduced him to Friz a few years later like ‘86-87... It was in 1988 where we all came together as close friends.

What about Children Of One Destiny?

Children of One Destiny (C.O.D.) started in the Bay Area with Various Blends, Plan Bee, Saafir, Greg and Steed in 1990 but all came together in 1991. At the time, Saafir and Friz-B were living in Stockton, California, Rasco and I were living in Fresno, CA and Plan Bee, Greg and Steed lived in Oakland. It was while I was in Fresno that I recruited Eko (Poke Martian), Contack (DJ's TK and D-Rock), The Females (Keisha, Turquoise and Endurra) and Bruce the Smurf. There was also the great KO from Stockton.

C.O.D. was more of a collective of friends who loved hip-hop and not so much a crew. There weren't many recordings together (only on 4-track) or meetings or anything like that. It was just for a few years were we were all doing music, did a few shows together and just liked hanging out. It was the connections after C.O.D. that the Hobo Junction was created and Various Blends hooked up with some local Fresno kids that called themselves the "Yard Massive" then to "Skhool Yard Massive"(Chuma, Asia aka Planet Asia and Nicky aka Kemet). Charizma and Peanut Butter Wolf were never members of C.O.D., but we did a few shows together in those years. I was good friends with their manager Matt Brown and the great « Funken » Klein was signing them to the label Hollywood Basic in 1991-92.

youtube

Your first demo tape is from '91, then there's a 5-year gap between this and the « Chill As I Flex » 12'' (released in '96). What happened during that lapse?

The gap was due to us re-focusing our brand, acquiring management, a lot of studio recording and shopping for a record deal. We are moved to beginning with Friz-B moving to Fresno in '91 (Rasco in '90, myself in '88). Then in '92, I moved back to the Bay and daughter was born in May of ‘93, my only child.

By the time « Chill as I Flex » came out, we had material for at least 2 albums. Back then, it was about getting signed, which we never did, which is a shame!

After that 12'' Rasco went solo. Do you know the reasons for that choice? How did you react with Friz-B and how did it impact both your work as Various Blends?

Rasco went solo in '97 cause the group got into a argument about the group. I honestly don't remember what it was about but I think it had to do with all our commitments to the group. We split, Rasco moved back to San Mateo and was living with PB Wolf and Fanatik and Keida (Rasco, ndlr) wrote "The Unassisted" with Fanatik. Basically that whole song is about our break-up. Friz and I started recording "Levitude" in ‘97 and it came out in late '99. We had a deal through Baraka Records who were distributed by Caroline.

“Levitude” came out in '99 and is quite a classic album to a lot of heads. What are your memories from that era, the way you worked on this LP? What about the choice to put "Chill" on the LP and put Del in place of Rasco?

We had started recording 'Levitude' in '97 and it came out in '99 on Baraka. Friz knew the owner, Sasson from Brooklyn, and I knew the westcoast rep named Pete.

The first song was "Krazee Madeo Styles", which is basically about growing up in San Mateo.

youtube

Since « Chill as I Flex » was our most popular song, we wanted to include it on the album. Del was the biggest underground emcee in the Bay at the time and Friz and Del were friends, so he did it!

Various Blends had history with many different Bay Area crews and basically wanted to showcase all the homies with us on this album.

Saafir from Hobo Junction (who briefly went to Hillsdale High School in San Mateo with Rasco and I) and Friz had been recording together since the early 90's (now unreleased material) and I met Rashinel through Poke Martian (Eko -who was in C.O.D., then both were in Hobo). Peanut Butter Wolf produced a few tracks, Mystik Journeymen we know from selling tapes in Berkeley in front of records, Pismo was from a group called Burnt Batch that Friz had met from Stockton, CA, DJ Apollo and Flare we knew from Invisbl Skratch Piklz, Pam the Funkstress (R.I.P.), infamous DJ for The Coup (and ended as Prince's last DJ), who we grew up with in San Mateo/ Foster City area and Marc Stretch was from Foreign Legion.

The project was good but we left a few old songs I would have liked to be on the album.

Since you guys were from San Mateo and Stones Throw's first offices were located there, before they went to LA, was there a possibility to be signed by them at some point?

Wolf, Rasco and Fanatik all lived with each other in San Mateo. Wolf and Fanatik were from the South Bay (San Jose Area) and Rasco moved back to the Bay Area from Fresno. This was all happening shortly after VB's had split up. Wolf could have did a 12″ or LP with us but maybe the timing wasn't right and he was releasing Rasco's solo album instead. Why after that he never asked us to do a record with him, I don't know... You would have to ask him... That label owes a lot to Rasco and « The Unassisted » and neither Rasco or his music was included in the Stones Throw 20 Year Anniversary!!

I was there in Wolf's room when he decided to use the name Stones Throw (it was a cliche that his Mom would say)...

You wanna know how he got the name Peanut Butter Wolf? It was some scenario where his Mom was babysitting or something and when it was time to go to bed, a kid told him to leave the lights on cause the "Peanut Butter Wolf" was going to get him!! True story! I was there for all this stuff!

You had that tape in 97 called "Mockumentary Sampler". Was there an actual release it was suppose to be a sampler for?

The "Mockumentary" was going to be my first solo EP... Never happened...

youtube

Now about the second and unreleased album, Fanna Burn. Can you talk the general concepts about it, who's featured. And what happened with No Mayo. Why did it stay unreleased, basically.

Fanna Burn was supposed to come out in 2002 on No Mayo Records. No Mayo had put out 2 "Funky Precedent" compilations. The first one was focused on Los Angeles artists and the second on Bay Area. I had a solo song featured on the second compilation. We proceeded to schedule meetings and agreed on a album deal for Fanna Burn. The concept of the album was based on "Fanna", a word meaning 'fantasy'. We wanted to "fanna burn" meaning "burn the bullshit". The album features Rasco, J-Rawls, Marc Stretch. Planet Asia, L'Roneous, DJ Swiftrock, Rakaa Iriscience, Grand the V.I., Gen-Star, Princess, Pismo, etc...

I honestly am unclear the reason why we got dropped. I know there were some financial issues. I know that we were supposed to deejay an employee's event and that didn't happen, on the personal side of things. I am unclear if that was the scenario but Friz again would know about that. It was a while ago.

I must say I never heard of the existence of that album before somebody posted a picture of the 2xLP Instrumentals on instagram. How much copies of that 2xLP exist? Did you sold some at some point or was it promo only?

The 2xLP Instrumentals was released first so that we would have show copies. We may have pressed 100? I'm not sure... The LP was never pressed up... Just a demo sampler CD of the album mixed by Big DJ Serg.

So right now, you're looking for a label to release it, right? What' s the key factor that makes you want it to be release in 2018?

We have been looking for opportunities to collaborate on the release of our catalog of music that is just not being heard. 2018 has to be the year we at least start getting the old material out and all this new material waiting to be heard! We have Various Blends albums, Friz Solo, EBF solo, Saafir material, Plan Bee material, Friz Compilation, Rasco material Skhool Yard material and more... I have a brand new project I would like to do with Rasco, but first we want to do a 20th Anniversary tour for "Time Waits for No Man" album, which is this year.

You founded Urban Umpires in 2004. What kind of work do you do with that structure?

Urban Umpires (U.U.) is the brainchild of DJ Just Jay and Just Jay and I started Urban Umpires. We were surrounded by a massive amount of talent that were all friends and making new friends in the underground movement. It was our chance to make a contribution to hip-hop in all aspects, from radio, producers, live shows, releases, videos, studio, promotions, publicity, events, etc... We wanted to be a one stop shop for everything. It's tough to maintain such a business without investors and capital. A lot of that fell through so we weren't able to accomplish many of the goals we had set. We are all still friends though and record together.

Interview conducted by Pseudzero for Westakoasta, feb. 2018.

1 note · View note

watchstandpray · 7 years ago

Text

From the Creator of Watch Stand Pray

Though the subtitle reads “Moral Motivation”, I do not consider myself any moral authority by any means. Morality is a topic society is hungry for. It would be a crime not to spread the news: Morals are good.

Note that the title is not “Moral Perfection”. I write these words to myself as much as to everyone else. As the words suggest, this work is both a motivation for morals and a set of moral-centered motivationals.

I was inspired by my many students and friends, as well as Oswald Chambers. I was introduced to his work when a kind of spiritual grandmother in my life gave me a copy as I went off to Moody. My Utmost for His Highest, the gold standard of Bible-based devotionals, was a collection of notes from Chambers’ widow; our loved ones often know our best values best. He died at 43 years old of a health condition. His first book, Biblical Psychology, was published five years before that. If he could address both Bible and culture at such a young age, I can too.

I write this at 37 years old. When I first wrote this Introduction, I had only finished the first read, drafted about eleven other candidate reads, and had a list of about 180 for other topics, at least 100 of them Bible Theology topics. Most of those are rants I have given to friends on more than one occasion. It seems, according to the fact that his wife took notes of what he would say at home, Oswald was a bit of a “ranter” like myself. What writer/teacher isn’t?

My father would also go on “wisdom rants”. He called them “little Walter thoughts”. Our family treasures them today. Toward the end of his life, he started to write them down, but most of what he said remains only in memory. I don’t want that for my own ideas for future generations. Although I have written political columns, Bible teachings of many kinds, fiction, and numerous other pieces in various genres, nothing I ever wrote before this really had “Jesse thoughts”. This does.

Oswald Chambers brought us all something special. His daily readings aren’t just “Bible study”. They were real, passionate, and natural from the moment. Those kinds of “household wisdom rants” have the strongest “didactic” teaching impact in childhood. Some of our best books are the ones we don’t know we write. Oswald remains unique in the devotional world.

The lesser among devotionals can often be with cliche, are quite dry, belong best under dust on a coffee table’s lower shelf, or were invaluable for readers from another time. Many good Bible devotionals are aimed at novice Bible readers who love Jesus and need elementary teaching to enrich their busy, hectic lives. There are many rich daily-Bible books, such as 365 Read-Aloud Bedtime Bible Stories, the “Uncle” Arthor Maxwell collections, and it goes without mention that Max Lucado and my dear friend, Joe Stowell, are generally awesome. But, all of these are heavily focused on traditional Bible-preaching topics.

What about the professional? What about the Christian who wants to minister through the marketplace or in government? Wisdom such as, “Make sure you’re nice to people because God really loves you as much as them,” carries truth that can be properly applied if we take it to heart; but it doesn’t necessarily answer all challenges of the working professional.

Who disciples the Daniels and Josephs? Who motivates the motivational speakers? They weren’t without mentors of their own. Without any spite, I believe there is a “red ocean” marketable need for a book that daily enriches the lives of self-proclaimed “Christian yuppies”. I wanted “Tony Robins meets Oswald Chambers”. Frankly, that’s Jesse Steele.

Oswald Chambers didn’t intend to write the book he wrote. That was part of its magic. The only reason that I can justify even being worthy to want to follow in his shoes is that every one of these 365 reads—353 of them yet-to-be-drafted—are from rants I have already made. I’m doing zero research and zero outlining for these devotionals. I’m simply sitting at a keyboard and pounding out “repeating broken record rants” of my past that people have thanked me for time and again. The book will be finished as fast as I can type. (Now we know how long it took.)

(Don’t tell her, but this is arguably a romance tactic. If I publish all my brilliant ideas before I meet my future wife, that might deter her from taking notes while I’m ranting. Wouldn’t that have been kind of funny—a young couple getting into it when the wife suddenly pulls out a pad of paper and starts taking notes? Just sayin’. But, I kinda’ like that kinda’ woman.)

No, I’m not married. I just haven’t had time to pursue it, being too busy with other important things that I won’t have time for in the future. So, how can I even include anything about marriage and family in these readings?

I am a son and an uncle, for what it’s worth. I hope I’m valuable to my nieces and nephews. Still, I severely limit myself on the topic of raising a family. I can’t speak to the 24/7 parenting gig; it’s exhausting just to think about. But, if it is wrong to write wisdom for children when you don’t have any of your own then most of CS Lewis’ work would be unqualified.

In terms of marriage, I am just an inquisitive observer. I’ve often picked the brains of married couples to see what works for them, why they fail, why they succeed, and I often know more about what goes on behind the scenes than people realize. I’m somewhat of the grapevine in that sense. I don’t think God would let those little “bees” buzz over and keep me so informed if I flapped jaw about other people’s problems. I keep a tighter lip than most will ever know. Many a secret will go to my grave with me. From those secrets, I have a wide scope of what I have seen fail and succeed. I think it would be a crime not to share at least a little from that insight.

These reads contain the warnings and wisdom anyone can see in advance, with a little diligence and “grapevining”. I’ll probably write a post-parenting book on how it all worked out. My mother often told me with all sincerity and no animosity, “I can’t wait to see how your ideas actually work out when you’re a parent.”

What do I have to say about being a father?

I write this not as a father, but as a godfather of a godson whose father left him forever when he was three, to whom I gave my name. I have none of the rights nor powers of a real father, yet I carry much of the responsibility. I have no influence in his regular instruction or situation. I am only available when called on and can only act in the capacity of a commentator and cheerleader. In many ways, I wish I had even some of the powers of a real father to David, with no second thought for the burdens that would come with them. I did not ask for him to be my godson and I cannot ask to be released. I only write about the topic of fathering because no devotional would be complete without it. In this, I write from what I little I do know and from what the Bible teaches. I hope that God grants you the powers to glean from my wisdom and disregard my lacking.

But, I am no novice to these matters either.

My grandmother was called “Grandma” even by her elders because of her wide and long work with children in her local church. Even after she died, my aunt’s neighbor, who barely knew her, had a dream in which she called her “Grandma”. My mother was listed in the local newspaper among the top ten local daycare providers. My own babysitter, from before I entered elementary school, was a leader in her community and I am still in touch with her to this day. We often talk about dealing with people as we never stop growing up.

During the ages of nine and ten, when I was homeschooled, I listened to Dr. Kevin Leman on the radio every day as parents called into his national talk radio program for advice. Sadly, yet honestly, I believed I have studied the subject of parenting more than most parents. In addition to that, I have twenty-three years of one-on-one tutoring experience with ages ranging from five to seventy and in three different cultures. I have seen many parenting styles, what fails and what succeeds, and I say confidently as humbly: It’s all predictable.

Books have already been published about most every problem and conflict. Talk radio hosts, even the less famous, have addressed many challenges. Yet, most of the people who face great challenges in family relationships rarely seek advice, let alone seek advice in advance. Not seeking advice in advance is usually among the greatest problems in family. Never have I encountered a situation where my own counsel had not already been published by men more experienced than I. When it comes to family, I have absolutely nothing new to say, yet I think I have seen one quarter of all there is to see, the total being unfathomable.

I do not have experience as a husband or as a biological father. I can’t speak from impure relations either. I can only speak from the perspective of one who has the wisdom to wait for things for which I know I am not prepared. Of all the experience I lack, the greatest is preventable and unnecessary failure. For the failures I have, I am glad I was at least absent from the bleachers and present on the game field.

Aside from parenting, I feel competent in the areas of which I write. I survived nine years overseas with my only financial plan being God as my provider. Everything I write about money came from what I have observed in life and read in the Bible. The same goes for leadership, whether organizationally, in business relations, friendship, or positions of authority such as controlling a classroom or working in government.

My work speaks for itself, including the fifteen other books I have written as of 2018, all of them available as ebooks and through print on demand, as well as the inkVerb and PinkWrite projects along with many others. I have a degree in Bible, ten years of work in food service, twenty years in education, and am a pianist of thirty. I am son to a widowed mother and Military Police renaissance-man and teacher of a father. I am a brother, uncle, godfather, Linux programmer, designer, podcaster, columnist, predictor of politics, adviser to unnamed few, ESL and piano teacher, forever student, individual sport enthusiast, hands-on student of culture, lover of people almost as much as I am lover of our Creator God, sinner, mentor, friend, hunter, tamer of animals, writer, editor, survivor, and hope-to-be-better every day all-around good guy.

I write this at 37 years old. At this time, I have only drafted the first read, about eleven other candidate reads, and have a list of about 180 for other topics, at least 100 of them Bible Theology topics. Most of these are rants I have given to friends on more than one occasion. It seems, according to the fact that his wife took notes of what he would say at home, Oswald was a bit of a “ranter” like myself. What writer/teacher isn’t?

My father would also go on “wisdom rants”. He called them “little Walter thoughts”. We treasure them today. Toward the end of his life, he started to write them down, but most of what he said remains only in memory. I don’t want that. Although I have written political, Bible, fiction, and numerous other pieces in various genres, nothing really had “Jesse thoughts”. This does.

Oswald Chambers brought something special. His daily readings aren’t just “Bible study”. They were real, passionate, and natural from the moment. Those kinds of “household wisdom rants” have the strongest “didactic” teaching impact in childhood. Some of our best books are the ones we don’t know we write. Oswald remains unique in the devotional world.

The lesser among devotionals can be filled with cliche, quite dry, belong best under dust on a coffee table’s lower shelf, or were invaluable for readers from another time. Many good Bible devotionals are aimed at novice Bible readers who love Jesus and need elementary teaching to enrich their busy, hectic lives. There are many rich daily-Bible books, such as 365 Read-Aloud Bedtime Bible Stories, the “Uncle” Arthor Maxwell collections, and it goes without mention that Max Lucado and my good friend, Joe Stowell, are generally awesome. But, all of these are heavily focused on traditional Bible-preaching topics.

Who disciples the Daniels and Josephs? Who motivates the motivational speakers? They weren’t without mentors of their own. Without any spite, I believe there is a “red ocean” marketable need for a book that daily enriches the lives of self-proclaimed Christian yuppies. I wanted “Tony Robins meets Oswald Chambers”. Frankly, that’s Jesse Steele.

Oswald Chambers didn’t intend to write the book he wrote. That was part of its magic. The only reason that I can justify even being worthy to follow in his shoes is that every one of these 365 reads—353 of them yet-to-be-drafted—are from rants I have already made. I’m doing zero research and zero outlining for these devotionals. I’m simply sitting at a keyboard and pounding out “broken record rants” of my past that people have thanked me for time and again. The book will be finished as fast as I can type.

I am a son and an uncle, for what it’s worth. I hope I’m valuable to my nieces and nephews. Still, I severely limit myself to the topic of raising a family. I can’t speak to the 24/7 gig; it’s exhausting just to think about. But, if it is wrong to write wisdom for children when you don’t have any of your own then most of CS Lewis’ work would be unqualified.

In terms of marriage, I am just an inquisitive observer. I’ve often picked the brains of married couples to see what works for them, why they fail, and I often know more about what goes on behind the scenes than people realize. I’m somewhat of the grapevine in that sense. I don’t think God would let those little “bees” buzz over and keep me so informed if I flapped jaw about other people’s problems. I keep a tighter lip than most will ever know. Many a secret will go to my grave with me. From those secrets, I have a wide scope of what I have seen fail and succeed. I think it would be a crime not to share at least a little from that insight.

These reads contain the warnings and wisdom anyone can see in advance, with a little diligence. I’ll probably write a post-parenting book on how it all worked out. My mother often told me with all sincerity and no animosity, “I can’t wait to see how your ideas actually work out when you’re a parent.”

What do I have to say about being a father?

But, I am no novice to these matters either.

During the ages of nine and ten, when I was homeschooled, I listened to Dr. Kevin Leman on the radio every day as parents called into his national talk radio program for advice. Sadly, yet honestly, I believed I have studied the subject of parenting more than most parents. In addition to that, I have twenty years of one-on-one tutoring experience with ages ranging from five to seventy and in three different cultures. I have seen many parenting styles, what fails and what succeeds, and I say confidently as humbly: It’s all predictable.

Books have already been published about every problem and conflict. Talk radio hosts, even the less famous, have addressed many challenges. Yet, most of the people who face great challenges in family relationships rarely seek advice, let alone seek advice in advance. Not seeking advice in advance is usually among the greatest problems in family. Never have I encountered a situation where my own counsel had not already been published by men more experienced than I. When it comes to family, I have absolutely nothing new to say, yet I think I have seen one quarter of all there is to see, the total being unfathomable.

Aside from parenting, I feel competent in the areas of which I write. I survived nine years overseas with my only financial plan being God as my provider. Everything I write about money came from what I have seen in life and read in the Bible. The same goes for leadership, whether organizationally, in business relations, friendship, or positions of authority such as controlling a classroom.

My work speaks for itself, including the fifteen other books I have written as of 2018, all of them available as ebooks and through print on demand, as well as the inkVerb and PinkWrite projects along with many others. I have a degree in Bible, ten years of work in food service, twenty years in education, and am a pianist of thirty. I am son to a widowed mother and Military Police renaissance-man and teacher of father, brother, uncle, godfather, Linux programmer, designer, podcaster, columnist, predictor of politics, adviser to unnamed few, ESL and piano teacher, forever student, individual sport enthusiast, hands-on student of culture, lover of people almost as much as I am lover of our Creator God, sinner, mentor, friend, hunter, tamer of animals, writer, editor, survivor, and hope-to-be-better every day all-around good guy.

— Jesse Steele Creator of Watch Stand Pray

0 notes

hemlockdumpling · 7 years ago

Text

South Park 2017 Advent Calendar ~ Day 5 HONOURABLE MENTION *SPOILERS*

Every five days during my South Park Advent Calendar, I will do little honourable mention lists for extra special stuff outside of the Episode Countdown. Today will be 10 Characters I Want To See Return To The Show. They have to be alive (sadly, no Pip) AND have not had a talking role in at least two Seasons. Doesn't matter if they have a slim chance in returning or not. Here we go.

10 Characters I Want To See Return To South Park

1. JESUS

First Seen: "The Spirit of Christmas: Jesus vs Frosty" Last Seen: "A Scause For Applause" (Season 16)

Founder of Christianity and member of Super Best Friends, Jesus made regular appearances in the early days of South Park, from the pilot special where he fought Frosty the Snowman to various episodes like "Damien, Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride, The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka, Mr Hanky's Christmas Classics," and "Are You There, God? It's Me, Jesus." As the seasons rolled on, he was seen less frequently, though his more prominent roles were in "Super Best Friends" (S5,) "Red Sleigh Down" (S6,) "Fantastic Easter Special" (S11,) and the "200/201" two-parter. His last two appearances in Season 16 ~ "Butterballs" and "A Scause For Applause" ~ were a little more negative and even mean spirited, so it would be nice, given all the hysteria and confusion in later storylines, for a voice of reason from the past to return to help out. His positivity and generally chill attitude makes for a calming presence when things get bad. Jesus returns in The Fractured But Whole to bless you no matter what you believe in, so let's get that cool Jesus back, please? You have to wonder, though, is Jesus n' Pals still running or is Jesus a Full-Time SBF?

2. BOOK MOBILE DRIVER

First and Last Seen: "Chickenlover" (Season 2)

As a book lover and library assistant, I honestly liked the Book Mobile Driver from Season 2's "Chickenlover." I'm aware that drawing younger readers in to embracing "the magic of reading" is very difficult. Many kids do love their local libraries, something that warms my heart, and the honesty of the South Park boys in this episode, that reading is dumb and boring? It's not a bad thing because it reflects societal issues and what turns away some kids from this pursuit. I still get a giggle out the way the Book Mobile Driver presents himself to the children in this episode because I get it. I get that magic of reading because it's something I love and feel very passionate about. The chicken "loving" thing? Not so much. Libraries do not condone Chickenlover and his chicken loving ways. Definitely not. (South Park really does make me say the darnedest things.) His encouragement towards getting Barbrady to take up reading is endearing and positive, even if the way he goes about it is less than ideal. *sigh* There's really two problems with the Book Mobile Driver returning. The first is that it's never really confirmed whether Chickenlover is still alive or not. Some fans believe the nightstick blow to the head from Officer Barbrady actually killed him at the end of the episode, whereas others propose he's still alive, just knocked out. In fact, there's a very similar looking character seen in "Cartoon Wars, Part 1" running across the Community Centre, albeit with a slight difference to hairstyle. Could this be a released Book Mobile Driver, starting a new life? Secondly, his criminal record. The people of South Park will remember what he did, which would get in the way of any potential story line surrounding the role books, libraries and bookstores play in today's society. Unless we get a similar character in a literacy promoting role? A shame since that's something I would like to see.

3. THE COTSWOLDS

First Seen: "Hooked On Monkey Fonics" (S3) Last Seen: "Hooked On Monkey Fonics" (Rebecca) / "Imaginationland" (Mark)

Bless this Episode for giving us the Cotswolds. Two home-schooled siblings take part in a Spelling Bee with the South Park elementary students, not only winning, but Mark in particular becomes curious of public school, begging his parents to attend and "be like other kids." His sister, Rebecca, a Spelling Champion with the cutest mannerisms, still prefers her life the way it is...until Kyle encourages her, hoping to take her to the school dance. Aside from the way Rebecca is treated in the later stages of the episode, with some rather unfortunate shaming implications, this was a sweet little episode that made me hope the two would return in the future. Unfortunately, Rebecca has never been seen again since her debut and her brother Mark has been seen on at least three other occasions as a background character ("Professor Chaos" as a potential Fourth Friend," "The Death Camp of Tolerance" and even as late as Season 11 in "Imaginationland" at Cartman's party.) Perhaps Mark stayed on at public school like he said, while Rebecca returned to Homeschooling. We can only wish.

4. NURSE GOODLY

First Seen: "Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Sl*t" (S2)

When South Park nurses come to mind, the first one that fans may recall is Nurse Gollum, but there is one other that appeared early on that caught my attention and I would love to see again. Nurse Goodly, a nurse at Hells Pass Hospital. One of few red-haired characters in South Park (Red Heads represent,) she works hard at her job and offers support to the boys during the blizzard when things take a turn for the worst. Outside of her first appearance, Nurse Goodly also performs her duties in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (with prosthetic arms) and during a dream sequence in "Cartman Joins NAMBLA." For the short time she appears in the show, I really thought she was Boss in her profession and it would be nice to see her return.

5. BRADLEY

First and Last Seen: "Cartman Sucks" (S11)

For the second time on this list, bless this soul. Bradley was Butters' "Acountibilibuddy" at Camp New Grace in "Cartman Sucks." In a camp dedicated to "praying the gay away," this poor boy is tormented, told his thoughts and curiosity about other boys is unnatural and wrong. The pressure is too much and he attempts to take his own life, only to be slowly talked back down by Butters. Sweetly enough, Bradley is seen in the Season 17 opening, fishing off a bridge, but it would be nice to catch up with him and see if him and Butters kept in touch after they left camp.

6. CHEF'S PARENTS ~ THOMAS AND NELLE MCELROY

First Seen: "The Succubus" (S3) Last Seen: "Red Sleigh Down" (S6)

Do I really have to spell out why I love these two? Really? Okay. They live in Scotland (Scotland represent) and their stories about the Loch Ness Monster hounding them for money is the absolute best. It's another one of those Early Day South Park memories I have, but it makes them all the more memorable. They seemed like a sweet married couple, returning in "The Biggest Douche in the Universe" to help out Cartman. Mr and Mrs McElroy are last seen in "Red Sleigh Down" back in Season 6, but are strangely absent at Chef's funeral later. Perhaps with Chef's absence from the show, they are very unlikely to return, but it would be nice to hear one of those Loch Ness stories again. This Scottish fan would love that.

7. MICKEY MOUSE

First Appearance: "Imaginationland" (Season 11) ~ Uncut DVD version Last Appearance: "Obama Wins!" (S16)

Yes, we're talking THAT Mickey Mouse. Anyone ever talked a little like Mickey, but said stuff that the Keyblade Master King would NEVER say? That's South Park Mickey for you. As the real head of Disney, Mr Mouse markets the boy band, the Jonas Brothers, to little girls, pushing the hot boy band angle with all the sexiness you'd expect, but get the band to promote Purity Rings so they don't get caught doing it and face a PR disaster. That make sense? Okay. Listening to the voice of Mickey saying all this kind of stuff, anything that isn't U rated, is always going to sound hilarious and him being the Big Bad is just funny stuff all around. He remains on the dark side in the two parter "200/201" as well as "Obama Wins!", still being money hungry and foul mouthed as ever. Can we get him back, please?

8. THOMAS

First and Last Seen: "Le Petit Tourette" (Season 11)

What is it with these one-shot characters? In "Le Petit Tourette," Thomas is a boy who lives with Tourette's Syndrome, mortified every time he is in public because he feels he embarrasses himself and his mother. He was the heart of this episode, showing that for someone like Cartman who fakes having the condition only to blurt out obscenities without punishment, seeing it as a "Golden Ticket," there are people out there who struggle with the condition, who face ridicule and hardships every day. Thomas, in particular, opens up to Kyle about his life, that he fears going out in public, considers himself the cause of his parents separating and that he feels his mother would be happier without him. It is this emotional core to the episode that gives it something a little extra, which is why Thomas ~ for me ~ is a fondly remembered character, and one I would love to see return. Perhaps Thomas and Craig did hang out once or twice and stay friends? Maybe Kyle still talks to him after the episode's end?

9. THE MOLE

First Seen: "South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut" Last Seen: "Two Guys Naked In A Hot Tub" (S3)

How shameful to admit I almost forgot about Christophe. I was close to putting Corey from "Informative Murder Porn" on the list, a similar character with a secret agenda, when I remembered the Golden Rule of the Movie. Everyone that died came back. Thus, everyone's favourite undercover, cursing Mole enters. With a heavy French accent, Christophe ~ aka "The Mole" ~ assists the boys in sneaking into the USO show to rescue Terrance and Phillip, only for things to go horribly wrong. For the short time he graces our screens, he made an impression, one that still lasts. He got a sneaky cameo in Season 3's "Two Guys Naked In A Hot Tub," reminding us he's still around, so maybe he's long overdue another cameo or three?

10. DAMIEN THORN

First Seen: "Damien" (Season 1) Last Seen: "Oh, Jeez" (Season 20) / Last Talking Role ~ The Stick of Truth"

Wow. This takes me back. Though Damien is seen as late as Season 20 ("Oh, Jeez,") his last talking role to memory seems to be in The Stick Of Truth if the New Kid finds him in the Cinema. Other than being an unlockable character in South Park Rally, Damien is only heard in his first ever episode, "Damien" in Season 1. The Son Of Satan is seen in the background often and was even a potential candidate to be the Fourth Friend to replace Kenny in Season 6, though he lost to Tweek. Maybe it's the nostalgia talking, but it's another fondly remembered episode from the early days, whether it's the high-pitched voice cursing eternal damnation that Matt Stone gives him or that ominous chanting, he's someone I always hoped would get another chance to shine, even if in a minor role. Sadly, with Pip gone, he will have to try and find new friends again. Maybe a new episode with Damien and Satan, life as father and son? Try not to turn your new friends into fireworks?

Hope you liked my list. Who would you like to see return to South Park?

#south park #advent calendar

0 notes