#why cant the charming guy whos great at sex live hella closer

[mysweetserendiipity]

In October, met this guy. H.

Yada yada, time goes by. December, we have sex, and I don't like to be mean in this regard, but it was hella awful! I try to give the benefit of the doubt that it was just that first time sex with someone is awkward.

Yada yada, time goes by again. I'm pretty sure he's disinterested in me, we don't talk, we haven't seen each other since December, and I move on to someone new (hahahaaaa he was a POS too)

I've been very on the fence about messaging H and just being like "Straight up, what happened." But I also didn't wanna look like I cared 😅 or let him know it bothered me. I'm better than that! You can't get to me!

So, I don't message him. I don't ask. I don't find out.

We have each other added on Snapchat, & he's made several snapstories like, "oh woah is me, women don't like me" & then recently about liking someone who doesn't like you back. Blah blah blah.

Well, Friday afternoon he messaged me & long story short, wanted to come over.

Now, I wasn't 100% on the why aspect. If he was just bored & wanted someone to hang out with, or if he was just trying to fuck. I figured the first since we planned to hang at 7pm. Blah blah blah, he didn't end up coming over until about 10:30. So at this point, yeah, now I'm thinking he's trying to fuck.

But, he's not a very bold & direct person. So, we just end up watching a few Netflix shows. In the living room because I don't have a tv in my room, and we're sitting in separate chairs. So, fairly distant. I try to be nice & make a little chit chat here & there (I don't feel like we're to the point where silent is comfortable. But that's also just a personal thing.) I'm also doing it to remind him that we haven't seen each other since the end of December, and have not been caught up with each other since then either 🙃 (I doubt he got that though)

Yada yada yada

We do do the deed. I mean, hell, why not. I'm not getting anywhere else right now 🤷

Now, I'm trying to be more optimistic. This time will surely be less awkward & much better than the first, yeah?

No. The major issue of what made it so bad & awkward in the first place was still there, and the little things that made it bad & awkward were just changed up. So...for different reasons but also same reasons, it was just not good.

He mentions that it's almost 5am, and I basically call him out on it being so late because someone (him) isn't very direct lol. He informs me that he thought about coming over and just "jumping" me, but felt that would be rude because he isn't here just for sex 😂😂😂😂

Buddy. Pal. Dude. Brahhhhh! Staph😂😂😂😂

I don't know how dumb he thinks I am, but I'm not. I know exactly what's up. I'm a fall back 🤷 (which is whatever. I am aware he's not trying to date me. He hasn't said it, & he won't, but I know). I'm aware based on his snaps that, he was (& probably still is) interested in someone else. (& Quite frankly, he's probably too embarrassed to try and fuck someone new based on the awkwardness. So he's probably trying to work through that so he can impress someone else later lol)

I wanted to call him out, so badly! But I didn't. I just let it slide. It was 5am. I just wanted to sleep.

As he was leaving in the morning, he said to remind him to bring his work uniform next time so he wouldn't have to leave so soon 😂😂😂

Buddy. Pal. My dude. First off, I would only want you to stay if that meant I was getting some. And that wasn't happening. Secondly, next time? Yeah, okay. Suuurree. Next time, riiiiight

I was pretty set on, he's probably not going to hit me up again, or conversate in between when he left and the next time he (doubtful) hits me up.

Well, once again, I was wrong 😂 I posted a snap that had that "I'm adorable" filter. I don't even look cute today! But he said "No argument there".

🙃 buddy. Pal. My dude. Man. I've posted hella better snaps and got no reply. But you reply to this one? & Like you're trying to flirt with me??

Idk. It's weird. I'm still doubtful there will be another moment of him trying to hit me up to have sex again though. & More than anything, I wish I was saying no because there's someone else, and not just because I'm like "yeah, this is freaking terrible & I'm not going through that a third time".