#why black women are so drawn to the hyper feminine aesthetic

[andsheoverthinks]

i think the reason white women/white feminists glorify the 'strong independent black woman' trope is because they mistakenly think it's some GNC, anti-patriarchy thing that black women came up with to stick it to the man... we didn't. idk what the men told you. but make no mistake it's not about us being respected leaders but moreso packhorses.

the strong black women trope is very much gender-conforming and hyperfeminine. it may not be pink and ribbons and cute but it is indeed Feminine (Pertaining to Female Stereotypes). the strong black woman is the ultimate 'mother' figure (see the Mammie stereotype). she gives and gives and GIVES, having no feelings of her own. she can be abused and raped and tortured without showing any trauma or shedding a tear. she is whipped to the point of death while in labor. her children are stolen from her at birth. she breastfeeds her mistress's children the milk meant for hers without a complaint.

she is self-sacrificing having no self-love or indeed self-identity. every Black woman tries her best to escape this stereotype in order to maintain her self-identity. this is the stereotype which causes us to die at crazy high rates in childbirth... still think it's empowering? Black women cling to the feminine aesthetic because we hope it will humanize us, earn us a scrap of empathy. we hope people will look at us and see just a woman instead of a black woman. you can laugh all you like at the bright-under-eye dark-lip-liner long-nails IG girls but you don't understand how they got there. 'princess' may be a cage but it's a nicer and better cage than 'mammie.'

women of all races have to escape the programming but it's different for all of us.

why do you think hollywood loves portraying the strong black woman struggle love stereotype so much? do you think holly-WEIRD is down with the cause?

being 'soft' and expecting to be waited on and prioritizing our feelings is GNC for Black women. that's how men behave, after all.

*waves hand* make me a plate.