#whts this minne ? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ilovehimsosomuchjk · 4 years ago

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No offense....but I don't believe in lovers. It makes me feel so messed up. Seeing people kiss, it's just a one time feeling dear, you'll be bored soon what's the matter. What's butterflies. What's shit. It's just platonic love. I do not know love, I just know platonic love. That's my love for jungkook I think. I love him. I really do. But I never felt those butterflies they say you're suppose to feel. LMFAO so messed up. Kiss? Go ahead and kiss anyone dude, lol, just go and grab someone and then you're done for. How tf do you commit to someone? I know, that's what I want but honestly, fuck that. I'm happy with myself. I don't need these people in my life who are gonna make me beg and shit. I don't like it. Love at first sight? LMFAO are you kidding me? Does that thing even exist? Lol, idek why I'm getting so angry- is it because I know my hormones are the ones making me like all these people? Is that it?

You know what's terrible dear? I KNOW that these are my hormones spwkaing and not me. I don't want anyone. Fuck them all. Love you say. Make it last, lmfao. Humans are shit. Why tf am I a human?

Sometimes...... I'm scared. ..so terrified. .... Because I myself.. don't know.....I'm so lost? I think I hurt everyone.. that's all I do.... disappoint them? But then the more rational side of me knows....

It's not like that, they care, it's evident, they love me, I know, I know they only want the best for me, that's why they are doing everything they can for me.

I know.......

But....

I just wish. I didn't know.

I didn't know how true this is. So I could atlesst feel that pain, that torture. Won't stop degrading myself when I know they love me. I wish they hated me. So only could I feel something...

I really don't know. I- I really dongknwo what- what is this all? I don't want to grow up I don't want to become a child again too. I don't know what to do please-

Why is everything so difficult?

You know whT- I know. I know it all. But I just want to question it. I just want you to understand. Just understand please- ple-

Please. Just - please.

I know it all, but just listen to me- just understand what I'm saying-

WHY DOES NO GUCKING ONE UNDERSTAND ME WHY

WHY- WHY CAN'T YOU JUST UNDERSTAND ME FOR FUCKS SAKE?

Why.... Why just-

I'm so tired of it all, but I know. I know this is nothing. I can do it. I know. And that hurts so FREKAING much more. WHY. WHY AHY DO I KNOW

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING

I ain't supposed to be here- I wasn't even supposed to exist- i- didn't they say? I wasn't even supossed to be ere- they- why- why did you say that in front of a child? Why did yi-

I'm not supoose to be here.

I'm not supoose to exist.

But I do. Why. Why do I exist.

I know. Why do I know.

They need me. Everyone needs me.

But. .I don't need myself, or do I?

Why is everyone so good? Why? Why do I think I'm good too?

Why the fuck does it not make sense to me?

Why does it makes sense to me?

Why?

Why. ....why do I see everything good in then? I don't want to. ......I just . I don't know. Why don't I KNOW please for fucjuns sake why don't I knwo-

I know.

Because, I'm just lose. Lol. Lmfao. BWHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

I know everything will make sense. Just a bit more if a time. Just a bit. It will. I know. I have hope. But. ..

I , for once. Just want someone to...

No I don't. I'm good. Lol. Tbh really tho, I have me. I don't want someone. I don't need someone. When everyone leaves, I'll be okay. I'll do what I can for them. It doesn't matter, if they think I'm worthy of them or not. I matter for me. And that's it. I don't care if jungkook isn't mine. He was need supposed to be minne. I don't live for h- I do . . Partially. . just partially......but I do. I live for him. I know he's just- why do I like him. Why them. They were there for me. ..will be forever, are I know. That's why.

I just want to oblivious of EVERYTHING.. please.. please? Nah I'm good this way. It's okay I know.....

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