#whopaysforthewedding

[merrybrides]

Who Pays for the Wedding? A Guide to Traditional and Modern Wedding Cost Etiquette

Wedding planning comes with many exciting decisions—and one of the most important is determining who pays for what. Traditionally, wedding expenses were divided based on long-standing customs, with the bride’s family handling the bulk of the costs. However, modern couples often share expenses with both families, creating a more collaborative approach. Here’s a breakdown of traditional responsibilities and tips for navigating financial contributions in today’s world.

The Bride’s Family: Traditional Responsibilities

Historically, the bride’s family covered most wedding expenses, including:

Engagement Party: Hosting and related costs.

Wedding Planner: Fees for planning and coordination.

Invitations & Stationery: Save-the-dates, invitations, and programs.

Venue & Décor: The ceremony and reception spaces, flowers, rentals, and décor.

Bride’s Attire: Wedding dress, veil, and accessories.

Food & Drink: Catering, bar services, and the wedding cake.

Guest Transportation: Travel costs for guests, bridesmaids, and officiants.

With the rising cost of weddings, these responsibilities are now often shared among the couple, their families, and sometimes even the wedding party.

The Groom’s Family: Traditional Responsibilities

Traditionally, the groom’s family contributed to specific aspects of the wedding, such as:

Rehearsal Dinner: Hosting costs for a dinner with close family and friends.

Marriage License & Officiant Fees: Legal documentation and ceremony costs.

Corsages & Boutonnières: Floral arrangements for family members.

Reception Alcohol: An optional contribution for the bar.

Entertainment: DJ or live band expenses (optional).

Modern couples often modify these traditions, with contributions reflecting each family’s financial capacity and preferences.

The Bride: Traditional Contributions

In addition to what her family covers, the bride traditionally pays for:

Wedding flowers for the ceremony.

Bridesmaids’ gifts.

Groom’s wedding band.

Hair and makeup services for the wedding day.

Many brides now also contribute to overall wedding expenses, especially as couples increasingly host and pay for their weddings themselves.

The Groom: Traditional Contributions

The groom was historically responsible for covering:

Engagement and wedding rings.

Bride’s bouquet and wedding gift.

Groomsmen’s boutonnières and gifts.

Honeymoon expenses.

Like brides, modern grooms often share costs for wedding expenses as couples work together on financial planning.

Tips for Deciding Financial Contributions

Wedding expenses can be a sensitive topic, but clear communication and planning can make the process smoother. Here are a few tips:

Set Priorities Decide as a couple what elements of your wedding are most important. This will help determine where to allocate funds and where you can save.

Open Communication Talk with each family about their willingness and capacity to contribute. Understanding everyone’s expectations early on can avoid misunderstandings.

Establish a Budget Create a realistic budget that works for all parties involved. The average wedding cost in the U.S. is around $30,000, but this varies widely based on location, guest count, and wedding style.

Be Flexible Traditions are helpful guidelines, but they don’t have to dictate your choices. Customize financial contributions based on what works best for you and your families.

Modern Approaches to Wedding Costs

Today’s couples often split expenses evenly, or according to what each family can comfortably contribute. Same-sex couples, for instance, often divide costs based on resources and priorities rather than following traditional roles.

By discussing costs openly, setting realistic expectations, and prioritizing what matters most, you can create a wedding budget that works for everyone involved—ensuring a memorable day without unnecessary stress.