#whoops should have gotten this posted before the finale but how was I supposed to know that they would do that to Fu?

[elianamarie-blog]

The Things You Give Pt. 34

We're almost to the end!! I'm so excited to share this chapter with you and all I've got to say is...muahahahaha!

I also want to apologize for the lack of posting on here. I've lost motivation these last year. We've gone through a lot personally but I really want to finish this and boy and boy am I glad I did! The motivation came back today as I put on That 70's Show and it feels soooo good! I'm probably going to let out a few more chapters at most because this story has gotten a lot longer than it was supposed to. But I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think <3

Y/n was panting and struggling to breathe properly as the contractions came on.

“Oh, my God. What should we do?” Jackie asked, almost panicking.

“We need to get her to the hospital!” Markus cried out and turned towards the stairs, suspecting that’s where Kitty or Red may be. “Mr. and Mrs. Forman?! We could really use your help!” A beat passed and he turned to his girlfriend. “Go find one of them. Now. And tell them Y/n is in labor.”

Jackie nodded and ran into the kitchen, calling for Kitty and Red.

Markus whipped back to Y/n who was struggling to breathe from the pain. “Y/n, breathe. It’s going to be okay.”

“I…want…Steven!” Y/n panted as she could barley form words.

“Here, hold on to my han—AAHHH!” Markus screamed as Y/n crushed his hand with hers. “Thank God we’re going to the hospital, right?” He chuckled through the pain. “Jackie! Where are you?!”

“Here!” she called, walking out from the kitchen with Kitty in tow.

“Y/n, honey, what’s going on?” Kitty asked, concerned.

“Her water broke and the contractions are already starting,” Markus explained as calmly as he could.

“Oh, my God, the babies are coming—Red!” Kitty called excitedly. “It’s time!”

“What?” Red asked as he stomped down the stairs, annoyed. “What are you yelling—Y/n, are you okay?”

“Red, she’s in labor!” Kitty explained. “Everyone, get in the car!”

“I’ll stay here and call Steven,” Jackie offered.

“Number to the venue is on the—” Y/n was cut off as another contraction hit her. “Counter,” she strained.

“No, no, no you’re not staying here with your boyfriend,” Red said. “I barley trust you kids in my house when my kids are home; I definitely don’t trust you by yourselves.”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Forman. I’m not staying. I’m going to go to the venue and see if I can catch them,” Markus said.

“How do I know you’re not just saying that?” Red asked, skeptically.

At that moment, Y/n led out a frustrated and pained scream. “Can we finish this conversation later?!”

“She’s right. Let’s go, Red,” Kitty said, grabbing Y/n’s arm and gently guided her out the door.

“I’ll go call Steven. Markus, go to the venue,” Jackie ordered.

“Aye, aye, Captain Hottie,” he smirked before grabbing his keys and walked out.

                                                        ---

“Okay, Y/n breathe,” Kitty instructed as Red drove like a madman to the hospital.

Y/n was doing deep breaths to try and steady the pain. “This is a big one!”

“I know, but you can do it!” Kitty encouraged.

“Is Steven going to make it?” she asked through breaths.

“Oh, I’m sure he is,” Kitty assured. “Jackie is on it. Remember what she did at the wedding?”

Y/n nodded as the pain finally started to subside. “Yeah, she was awesome.” A beat passed before she spoke up again. “Don’t tell her I said that.” Pulsating pain came on as her stomach felt rock hard. “Here comes another one.”

“We’re almost there, honey,” Kitty said, rubbing her shoulder. “Red, step on it!”

                                               Meanwhile…

Loud rock music filled the air at the venue as the group jammed out from the crowd.

“This is the greatest day of my life!” Kelso shouted at his friends.

“Agreed!” Donna replied as Immigrant Song started.

“Hell yeah!” Eric whooped as he lit up a lighter.  

“Play that funky music white boys!” Fez shouted excitedly.

Everyone was having the greatest time, except for Hyde. He would occasionally whoop and holler, but the thought of Y/n being home while he was out having fun didn't sit right with him. It wasn’t until the song ended and the band moved onto the next that he nudged Fez, getting his attention.

“Hey, man, I’ll be right back.”

“Sure!” Fez said, barley paying attention.

Hyde rolled his eyes at his friend before leaving the arena and walking to the recession stand.

“Hi, how can I help you?” the young blonde woman asked as he approached her.

“Can I use your phone?”

“Absolutely,” she chirped and brought the phone out from beside the register. “Just dial 9 first.”

“Thanks,” he muttered and dialed the house number. It rang three times before someone picked up.

“Hello? Steven?”

“Jackie?” Hyde asked, scrunching his face. “What’re you doing at the house? Where’s Y/n?”

“Markus and I came over to be with Y/n to keep her company while you guys were gone,” she explained.

“Oh. Well, where is she? I want to talk to her.”

“Yeah…sorry, you can’t.”

“What? Why?”

“Because she isn’t here,” she replied.

Steven sighed, starting to feel irritated. “Where is she then?”

“At the hospital.”

“What?!” he almost yelled. “Why didn’t you lead with that? Is she in labor?!”

“Yes, she’s on the way. I stayed behind in case you called. If you leave now you might be able to meet her there.”

The phone almost slipped out his hand. “Oh, my God…”

“Steven…are you okay?”

“I’m on my way. Tell her to try to not have the babies until I get there!” He hung up the phone before she could answer and ran back into the arena where his friends were.

“Hey, man, where’d you go?” Eric asked while keeping his eye on the band.

“Y/n’s in labor!” Steven shouted.

Eric snapped his head towards his friend with wide eyes. “WHAT?!”

“Yeah, man, we gotta go!”

“Yeah, okay,” Eric said, nodding frantically and turned to Donna. “We gotta go!”

“What? Why?” she asked, smiling and hooting.

“Because Y/n is in labor!”

Her smile quickly disappeared as her attention snapped from the band to her boyfriend and friend. “WHAT?!”

“We’ve gotta go! She’s on her way to the hospital right now!” Hyde said.

“Right, okay,” Donna said, almost in a panic and turned to the boys. “Guys, Y/n’s in labor!”

“What?” Kelso shouted back. “Y/n’s the neighbor?”

“No, you dunce! Y/n’s in labor!” she repeated.

“Y/n’s the greater?” Kelso asked, even more confused. “Speak English, Donna, you’re not making any sense.”

“Y/N IS IN LABOR, YOU FOOL!” Fez screamed.

“Oh, my God!” Kelso shouted.

“Yeah, so we need to go,” Donna responded and grabbed him by the elbow.

“Wait, we’re all gonna go?” he questioned and dug his heels into the ground. “What about the concert?”

“Forget the concert, man, my wife is in labor!”

“Why? She’s not my wife,” Kelso argued.

Hyde’s jaw clenched and his fists balled up, dying to hit Kelso. “You know what? I don’t have time for this. If you want to stay, fine, but I’m leaving your ass here and you can find a ride home.”

Kelso laughed. “You’re not going to do that.”

“You wanna bet?”

“But they’re in the middle of a song!” he whined.

“You wanna walk home?” Hyde threatened.

Kelso groaned before stomping his foot. “Fine!”

                                                        ∞∞∞

“Alright, Mrs. Hyde,” Dr. Lee said, pulling back the privacy curtain as Y/n laid in the hospital bed. “You’re dilated two centimeters. Now this is your first childbirth so you could be here a while. We’ll keep monitoring you.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Y/n said. “Can I have something to drink?”

“Just ice chips,” the doctor said with a sympathetic smile.

“Okay,” she sighed, disappointed.

“I’ll be back in a little while to check on you,” she said and exited the room.

“Well, this could take a while,” Kitty said and started fluffing Y/n’s pillow. “Did you want some ice chips?”

“That would be nice,” Y/n responded. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Red stay here with her while I go get her ice chips.”

“Where else am I gonna go?” Red asked with a shrug of his shoulders. Once Kitty left the room, it was silent.

“So,” Red said, breaking the silence and sighed awkwardly. “Do the contractions really hurt as much as they say?”

Y/n stared up at her father with a confused and bewildered look. “I don’t know. Have someone kick your boys multiple times and harder each time and then come back and tell me.”

Red couldn’t help but chuckle. After another minute of silence, Y/n spoke up.

“Dad?”

“Mhm?”

“Were you scared when Mom went into labor?”

A small smile graced his lips and he nodded. “Yeah, I was. But let me tell you the moment I held you and your brother in my arms, that fear melted away.”

“So, the minute I hold my children, my fears are going to melt away forever?”

“Oh, hell no,” Red chuckled, shaking his head. “The fear never goes away. Everyday a new fear will strike in you and you’re going to have to find some way to battle that one among the others. It’s a never ending cycle.”

“Oh my God…how do you sleep at night?”

“I just close my eyes,” he quips and rocks on his heels. “But your mother…not so much. She worries for you guys constantly.”

Y/n looked down at her hands. “I didn’t know that.”

“Of course you didn’t. The last thing she wants is to make you guys worry because all she wants is for you to worry about yourselves.”

“But that’s not how that works,” she argued. “We’re a family we do that for each other.”

“Not in a parent’s eyes,” he responded cooly and started heading out the door. “I’m going to call your idiot brother and see if he’s at the house.”

Y/n nodded at him as he walked out the door. As soon as the door clicked shut, another contraction shot through her, catching her breath in her throat. She breathed through the pain, and what felt like minutes but only seconds, it subsided as soon as Kitty walked back through the door.

“Here you go, dear,” Kitty said.

“Thanks, Mom,” Y/n replied breathlessly as her head fell back against the pillow.

                                                --Meanwhile--

“Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, COME ON!” Hyde shouted as he dodged traffic and weaved through traffic like a madman.

“Hyde, slow down!” Eric tried to hide his panic as he white knuckled the door handle and middle console. “I know we’re going to the hospital anyway, but let’s try to get there alive!”

“Have you guys ever noticed people in this town drive so damn SLOW?!” He honked his horn impatiently. “Move over, Grandma!”

“Hyde, please, I don’t want to die,” Fez whined from the back as he clutched the back door and Kelso’s arm.

“Shut up, Fez,” Hyde snapped as he desperately hit the gas more. “DAMN IT!” he shouted when he hit a red light.

“Hyde, man, it’s alright. You’re going to make it in time,” Eric said, trying to calm him down.

“No, Forman, it’s not going to be alright if I’m not there!” he raised his voice and punched the gas as soon as the light turned green.

“Don’t worry, you’re going to make it,” Donna said.

“No, you guys don’t get it,” Hyde replied, forcing himself to stay calm. “My dad wasn’t there when I was born and I’ll be damned if I do the same to my kids.”

“You’re not your dad, man…” Kelso said quietly.

“You’re right I’m not,” Hyde responded, staring intently at the road. “I’m going to be better.”

“And you are, but you need to—RED LIGHT!” Eric shouted as Hyde sped through.

“Relax, it’s not like we hit anybody,” Hyde said, hard gaze on the road.

“Um, Hyde?” Fez piped up, looking out the back window nervously.

“You’re going to kill us!” Eric screeched.

“No, I’m not!”

“Hyde?” Fez said again, this time a little louder.

“It’s going to be no use if we don’t make it alive!” Eric shouted.

“Will you lay off?!” Hyde shouted back, white knuckling the steering wheel. “We’re going to be fine.”

“HYDE!” Fez shouted sharply.

“What?!” Hyde snapped.

“Um…” he responded by pointing out the back window.

Hyde followed his line of sight and saw blue and red flashing behind them. “Crap.”

                                                --Time Skip—

Y/n was doing deep breathing exercises as another contraction waved through her. At this point, sweat had formed on her hairline while her hair had been pulled back into a messy ponytail by Kitty.  

The pain radiated through her back down to her legs as she felt like daggers were racing through her bloodstream.

“Just keep breathing, honey, you’re doing great!” Kitty encouraged as Y/n struggled to keep breathing. She held her daughter’s hand as Y/n squeezed it through the pain.

“It...hurts…!” she whined as she breathed through the pain.

“I know, honey, but it’s going to be so worth it when you get to hold your babies for the first time,” Kitty cooed.

Finally, the contraction ended and Y/n laid her head back in exhaustion, panting. “Has anyone heard from Steven?”

“When I called the house, your little loud friend answered and said she had spoken to him and he was on the way,” Red answered and checked his watch. “But then again, that was almost two and half hours ago.”

“The concert was only forty-five minutes away,” Y/n pointed out. “An hour and a half at most with traffic.” She was silent for a moment, fighting back tears. “I knew he cared more about the stupid concert than me.”

“Oh, honey, you know that’s not true,” Kitty said, rubbing her daughter’s covered leg in comfort.

“No, it is, otherwise he would be here!” she wailed, tears running down her face. “I’m about to push two babies out of me and he’s not here! I’ve never been in so much pain in my entire life and I just want my husband!”

“I know, sweetie, I know, but he’ll be here,” Kitty reassured and walked over to her husband. “Can I talk to you outside?”

“About what?” he asked.

“Just get outside,” she responded and pushed him out. After she shut the door, she turned back to him. “You need to find him.”

“Why? I’m sure he’s on the way,” Red said casually and walked over to the nearest coffee station.

“The last time a big event happened, Steven almost didn’t make it!” she said harshly. “He was in jail, Red, jail!”

“What do you want me to do about it?”

“Go back to the house and find him!”

“Kitty, if he’s not here, he’s not going to be at the house,” he pointed out, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“What if he stopped by the house?”

“Now, why would he do that?”

“I don’t know, why did the boy go to a concert when he knows his wife’s about to pop? We’ll never know why the kids do what they do, but what I know for sure is that something is wrong!”

“Oh, Kitty, come on!” Red whined. “I’m sure Steven is fine. He’s probably stuck in traffic or something.”

                                       --Scene Transition—

“Officer, I’m telling you, I’m not drunk!” Hyde yelled.

The scene in front of him would’ve been quite comedic if he hadn’t been the one in the position. He was leaned forward on the hood with his hands splayed out and legs spread as he was being searched.

“With the way you were driving, I beg to differ,” the officer replied as he carefully searched Hyde.

“The breathalyzer said I wasn’t!” he argued. “Why are you still searching me? I need to get to the hospital! My wife is in labor!”

“Yeah, I haven’t heard that one before,” the cop scoffed as he stood.

“Man, I’m serious! If you follow me, I’ll show you I’m telling the truth!”

“I’m not falling for that one again.”

“What? No, man, I’m serious!”

“You know everything you say can and will be held against you in the court of law,” the officer said.

“Okay, well then get this on record: I. NEED. TO. GET. TO. MY. WIFE. She is in labor and I really need to be there!”

“Shut up or else I will arrest you.”

Steven sighed, frustrated. “For God’s sake.”

While this was happening, the rest of the crew sat silently and rigid in the car. They felt with one wrong move, they would be arrested.

“Do you think he’s going to be let go?” Fez asked.

“If he shuts up and lets the man do his job, the maybe,” Kelso said.

“Hey, wait, you used to be a cop,” Eric pointed out. “Can’t you do something?”

“I doubt it,” Kelso responded, not taking his eyes off the cop. “As long as Hyde shuts up, he should be fine.”

“I hope you’re right. It would be awful if he missed the birth of his children like how he almost his own wedding,” Donna said, staring at Hyde as he stood still as a statue.

“Yeah, that would be,” Kelso mumbled.

Meanwhile outside, Hyde was ready to jump out of skin as he waited for the cop to finish up the report. The cop purposely was taking his time which made Hyde want to twist his neck even more.

“Can I go now?” he asked.

“I need to still check the car.”

“You checked it twice!”

“Once more never killed anybody.”

“Come on!” Hyde shouted as he watched the cop reach into the glove compartment to grab some gloves. “I’ve done everything you asked and you’re still going to hold me here? What more do you want?”

“I just love watching people like you squirm,” the cop said smugly as he snapped on the latex gloves.

“People like me? Man, I’m telling the truth!” Hyde shouted. “I’m not drunk and I’m not high! There’s nothing in my car! I don’t know what the hell you’re looking for, but you’re not going to find it!”

The cop smirked. “We’ll see about that.”

A car rumbled by across the street before it stopped and parked. Steven eyed the cop as he watched him kick his friends out and search the car again.

“Steven?!”

Hyde’s head snapped to the sound of his name and watched as Red crossed the street towards him.

“Red?” Hyde called out. “What’re you doing here?”

“What am I doing here? What are you doing here?!” Red asked, now feeling frustrated. “Do you know Kitty made me leave the hospital to drive back home to find you, only to find out that you’ve been pulled over the side of the road?!” He stood directly in front of Steven as he also watched the cop search the car. “Why were you pulled over this time?”

“Speeding.”

“And he’s searching the car because...?”

“He’s sure I’m under the influence of drugs or alcohol.”

Red pinched his eyebrows together and looked at Steven. “Were you breathalyzed?”

“Yes.”

“And searched?”

“Three times.”

“You don’t got that dope on you, do you?”

Steven rubbed his forehead, trying to control his irritation. “No.”

“Then why are you still here?!”

“That’s a good question. Ask the man in blue.”

Without hesitation, Red darted towards the police officer. “Hey, buddy! What the hell are you doing?!”

“Sir, I’m going to need you to back up while I conduct my search—”

“To hell with your damn search!” Red yelled. “You found nothing, now let him go! His wife, my daughter, is at the hospital about to give birth!”

“Oh, now he’s got you covering him?” the cops asked smugly. “I’m not buying it and this can be held against you—”

“Do I need to call Chief Calvin?” Red interrupted with fire in his eyes. “Do I need to tell him that you are looking to book my son-in-law?”

“How do you know—?”

“I’ve got

“You can if you want,” the cop said. “I’m just doing my job.”

“No, you’re not. You’re being a prick who is on a power trip. I’ll tell you what, you give him the speeding ticket and I won’t report your ass to the chief for trying to find false evidence.”

An annoyed, angry look crossed over the officer’s face before he snapped off his gloves. “Fine.”

“Thank you, officer,” Red said sickly sweet.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he mumbled as he walked back to the cop car.

Once the officer was out of earshot, Hyde turned to Red. “You really know that Chief like that?”

“Please,” he scoffed. “I had you and my son to deal with. You didn’t think I wasn’t going to get to be on a first name basis with the P.D?”

                                             --Meanwhile—

“WHERE. IS. HE?!” Y/n screamed through contractions.

“I don’t know, sweetie. Your dad is out looking for him,” Kitty responded, wiping away sweat off her daughter’s forehead.

This caused Y/n to scream out more in frustration than in pain when another contraction hit. “SON OF A BITCH!”

A knock on the door barley made their attention when Dr. Lee popped in. “How are we doing?”

“I need drugs!” Y/n screamed.

“Let me see how dilated you are,” Dr. Lee responded and popped on some gloves. After she felt around, she came up from between Y/n’s legs and sighed contently. “4 centimeters—looks like you’re dilated enough.”

“Oh, thank God,” Y/n sighed and leaned her head back.

“You know, you do qualify for this new drug we have. It’s called an epidural anesthesia. It’s going to numb you from the waist down and you won’t be able to feel anything.”

“Do it.”

“You don’t want to hear the possible side--"

"Damn it, woman, do it!" Y/n cried out in discomfort. “It feels like these kids are going to rip me in half!”

Dr. Lee chuckled before nodding. “I’ll be right back with the anesthesiologist.”

“Wow, fancy,” Kitty said, impressed. “When I gave birth to all three of you, I didn’t get that special treatment.”

“Times have changed, Mom,” Y/n responded dully.

“Excuse me, miss grumpy pants,” Kitty sassed as she situated herself in the chair next to the bed.

“Sorry,” Y/n mumbled and stared at the ceiling in silence.

“He’ll make it,” Kitty said after a minute.

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t know right now. He was arrested and almost didn’t make it to our wedding, so I’m not sure if he’ll make it here on time to witness the birth of his children.”

“Oh, Dear, that’s just the hormones talking. I know Steven is just anxious to be here.”

                                          --Meanwhile—

“For the love of GOD, people, move your asses!” Hyde yelled at the traffic ahead of him. “Why is it even this crowded? Where are all these people coming from?!”

“Um, probably from the concert,” Donna piped up.

“The whole town went to the concert?!”

“I mean, we’re not the only ones who listen to them, but whatever,” Eric mumbled.

Hyde ignored them as another growl bubbled up from his throat as traffic began to slow down again. “Friggin’ slow asses, move!” He honked his horn and swerved in the other lane to pass someone.

“That was a student driver,” Eric said.

“Yeah, and I felt the same way when I passed that old lady earlier—nothing,” Hyde retorted as he got off the highway. “Doesn’t matter anyway, we’re almost there.”

“Pretty sure at this rate we’ll be there in five minutes instead of twenty,” Fez said nervously, gripping the door handle with white knuckles.

“Yeah, I think I felt safer when we were pulled over,” Kelso said and quickly averted Hyde’s icy glare through the rearview mirror. “I’ll shut up now.”

“Good plan,” Hyde responded. “Now, hang onto your asses. This is going to be a fast ride.”

                                           --At the hospital—

“Hey, Mom, look,” Y/n said, calm and happy and pointed at the machine that was monitoring her contractions. “I’m having a contraction. Who knew?”

“Are you feeling better now that you got the epidural?” Kitty asked, relieved to see her daughter out of pain.

Y/n giggled. “It’s almost like—childbirth, who? Pushing out two babies, say what?”

Kitty smiled. “Glad to hear it, dear.”

“Alright, Mrs. Hyde, after checking your dilation, it looks like you’re now at eight centimeters,” Dr. Lee informed.

“Whoa, man, I’m so numb I didn’t even feel you down there,” Y/n chuckled.

“Y/n, honey, did you hear the doctor?” Kitty asked, grabbing her daughter’s hand. “You’re eight centimeters. There’s only two centimeters left until you need to start pushing.”

Y/n’s eyes bugged out at the sudden realization. “What?! But-but Steven isn’t here yet!”

“Unfortunately, that doesn’t matter to babies coming out of a womb,” Kitty explained gently.

“No, no, no they have to stay in there until he’s here!” Y/n panicked. “Damn it, I knew he shouldn’t have gone!”

 Dr. Lee took this as her cue to leave. “I’ll be back later to check on you.”

After Dr. Lee left, Y/n turned to Kitty with tears in her eyes. “Mom, I can’t do this alone.”

“Oh, honey, you’re not going to be alone. I’ll be here.”

“You promise?”

Kitty smoothed down her daughter’s sweaty, matted hair. “Of course. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She wrapped her arms around her mother as she felt an ounce of comfort. When she pulled away, she looked her in the eyes. “Just…don’t look at me. You know, down there.”

“Honey, I’m a nurse. I see this on a daily basis!” Kitty laughed. “And not to mention you, too, came out of me!”

“Ugh, God, MOM!”

                                                  Now…

“Finally! Land!” Eric bellowed as he stumbled out of the now parked car with wobbly legs. “Thank you, God, we’re alive!” He clutched his chest, breathing heavily, and looked up at the sky. “God, I know you and I don’t talk a lot, but thank you for not killing us.”

“Forman, get off the ground,” Hyde ordered. “You’re embarrassing me.”

“I’m just…so happy,” Eric whined, but kept his hand on his chest.

“Come on, hurry!” Red barked. “Those babies aren’t going to wait much longer for them to be born!”

“You’re right,” Hyde said and clapped a hand onto Red’s shoulder. “I’m gonna go have my babies!”

He heard the cheers coming from his friends behind him as he ran into the hospital, heart pounding from the adrenaline.

Eric turned to Donna after they watched their friend disappear into the hospital. “Hey, Donna?”

“Yeah, Eric?”

“Which arm hurts when you’re having a heart attack?”

“Your left one.”

“Oh,” he sighed and cracked a nervous smile. “It’s a good thing we’re at a hospital, huh?”

                                  --Five minutes later—

“Alright, Mrs. Hyde, looks like you’re at ten centimeters,” Dr. Lee said., situating herself between Y/n's legs that were up in the stirrups. “It’s time to start pushing. Are you feeling any pain?”

Y/n shook her head nervously. “Just a lot of pressure.”

“Good. Are you ready?”

Y/n grabbed her mother’s hand as Kitty helped her sit up. “You got this, honey.”

“And…push!” the doctor said, but was quickly interrupted as the door swung open, startling her.

“I’m here! I’m so sorry, but I’m here!” Steven said, out of breath.

“Steven, you’re here!” Y/n said, relief flooding over her, which soon was quickly replaced with anger. “Where the HELL have you been?!”

“I’m so sorry, Doll,” he said and kissed her forehead. “It’s a long story, but traffic was horrible and then I got pulled over until Red found me—”

“What?!” Y/n shouted.

“Mr. Hyde, I’m so glad that you’re able to join us, but Mrs. Hyde is going to have to start pushing now,” said Dr. Lee.

“Oh, my God,” Hyde said nervously and slipped his hand into his wife’s. “You got this, baby.”

“Since you’re here, I’ll let myself out,” Kitty said.

“Wait, no, Mom,” Y/n called out, stopping her. “Y-you don’t have to go. You can stay here if you want.”

Kitty gave her a gentle smile and kissed her cheek. “Sweet girl. It’s okay, you don’t need me.”

“I’ll always need you,” her voice cracked and eyes filled with tears. “Mommy, I’m scared.”

“You’ll be just fine. In a moment like this, you need your husband, not your mother, who I am so glad is finally here. I’ll be right outside, okay?”

Y/n nodded and wiped at her eyes. “Okay.”

“Okay. Besides, I need to talk to your father and see what happened with Steven getting pulled over.” She blew a kiss to her daughter and son-in-law as she walked out the room.

“Alright, Mrs. Hyde, I need you to push for me like you’re using the toilet. Can you do that for me?”

Y/n sat herself up while still gripping onto Steven’s hand and pushed as hard as she could.

“Good job! I’m seeing a head!” the doctor announced.

“Come on, baby, you got this!” Hyde encouraged.

“Okay, now stop,” Dr. Lee ordered. “Breathe, take a ten second break. We’re going to do this slowly. We don’t want any tears.”

Y/n nodded once again and leaned back. She looked up to her husband who was staring down on her lovingly. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” he responded. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

She caressed his face. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

“Let’s start pushing again,” Dr. Lee said and placed her hands on Elena’s knees. “And…go!”

Elena sat up with Hyde’s help and started pushing again. Grunting, she felt pressure building up even more as if she really was using the toilet. “Oh, my God!”

“You’re doing it! Good girl!” the doctor encouraged.

“Breathe, baby doll, breathe,” Hyde said gently as he moved hair out of her face.

She let out long breaths to ease the pressure, but it wasn’t helping much.

“Oh, my God, my ass is going to explode!” she screamed.

“No, it’s not, you’re doing so well!” Hyde encouraged.

“Dad, I’m going to need you to hold her leg up for me,” instructed the doctor.

Without a word, Hyde reached down and placed a gentle under her knee, lifting it upwards.

“Much better,” said Dr. Lee. “You’re doing well, Y/n! Just keep pushing!”

Y/n squeezed Hyde’s hand so hard he swore she was going to cut off his fingers, but he didn’t care and in fact, almost completely forgot about it when he heard the doctor yell, “Baby number one’s head is out! Now, Y/n, I’m going to need you to give me one big push for the shoulders, okay?”

Y/n nodded, breathing heavily and leaned against her husband.

“You got this,” Hyde said in her ear as he supported her back.

She grunted and groaned as she pushed as hard as she could.

“Push, baby, push!” Hyde said, almost excitedly.

“Almost there!” Dr. Lee announced.

Y/n took in a deep breath before doing the biggest push she could muster.

“Shoulders are out!” said the doctor before she gently pulled the baby out.

                           And then, there was crying.

“Congratulations, it’s a boy!” announced the doctor.

“Oh, my God!” Y/n cried as she saw her son for the first time.

“It’s a boy,” Hyde said breathlessly. It took everything in him not to allow any tears surface.

“We have a boy, Steven,” Y/n wept as she watched the nurse take him from the doctor. “Where’d he go?”

“They’re just taking him to get him cleaned up,” Steven said, his eyes watery.

“He’s so tiny,” she whispered and looked up at Steven.

“He’s perfect,” he responded and kissed her gently.

“Y/n, it looks like baby number two is ready to come out,” Dr. Lee said.

“Ugh, I already had a baby. Leave me alone,” Y/n groaned. “Can’t I take a break?”

“Sorry, not with this little one. They’re coming sooner than you think!” answered the doctor and sat between her legs again. “Ready?”

“Not really…”

“Good, because they’re coming!”

Y/n didn’t get a chance to even breathe before she felt a tremendous amount of pressure passing through her. She gasped before grabbing onto Hyde’s neck and digging her nails into his flesh.

“Ow, ow, ow, Y/n, ow!”

“So-sorry,” she stuttered, breathless and let go.

“Here, grab my hand instead,” he said, offering his hand.

She grabbed his hand again and squeezed.

“Alright, Mr. Hyde, just like last time, go ahead and grab Mom’s leg and hold it up for me,” Dr. Lee instructed again.

He repeated the motion from before and gently lifted her leg up.

“Perfect,” Dr. Lee said, encouragingly. “Annnnd push!”

One more deep breathe and Y/n pushed harder than she had pushed before.

“Wait, wait, wait, stop pushing,” the doctor said suddenly.

“What, why?!” Y/n asked, panting.

Hyde step forward to take a look. “Oh, God! What the hell is that?!”

“Don’t say that! What is what?!” Y/n screeched.

“It’s the baby’s feet. They’re breeched,” the doctor said.  

“Oh, my God. Are they going to be okay?!” Y/n asked, panicking.

“They’re going to be fine. But I’m going to need you to push even harder now.”

“No, I can’t! I can’t do this anymore.”

“Yes, you can,” Hyde said. “You’re stronger than you know. You always have been. You can do this, Y/n”

“No, no I can’t!” She turned back to the doctor. “Can’t you just reach up there and pull the baby out?!”

“Not unless you want a C-section, you’re going to need to do this,” said Dr. Lee.

Y/n leaned back, crying. “I can’t—I don’t have it in me!”

“Hey, hey, look at me,” Steven said, gently. She looked at her husband, teary eyed. “Just think—this baby will be out and then it’ll be over. You just gotta get through this, okay? You can bring our son or daughter and this will be over. Okay? I love you so much, you can do this.”

“I love you, too,” she whimpered and sat up.

“Push like you haven’t pooped in a week,” Dr. Lee instructed gently.

“It feels like I haven’t!” Y/n screamed as she felt the pressure rise.

“There we go!” the doctor said excitedly. “Both feet are out! Here come the legs!”

“You’re doing amazing, doll, keep going!” Hyde encouraged.

Y/n took another breath before pushing the hardest she could. She started to feel some relief from the pressure the more she pushed.

“Here she comes!” Dr. Lee announced.

Hyde’s gaze snapped to the doctor. “It’s a girl?!”

Dr. Lee looked back at him with a soft gaze and a smile. "Yeah, it's a girl."

“Oh, my God,” Hyde said, this time his voice cracking from emotion. “Baby, we have a daughter."

"One of each," Y/n choked back a sob.

"Give me one last big push!” said the doctor.

With a final push, the pressure finally alleviated and soon, the sound of a crying baby filled the room.

“Here she is!” the doctor held up the baby as she continued to cry.

“She’s beautiful,” Y/n said in awe, feeling emotional. She wept as she watched her daughter being taken away for cleanup.

“Just like her mom,” Hyde said teary eyed and looked at his wife. “You did great, Doll. I’m so proud of you.”

The adrenaline that was once pumping through Y/n’s veins was now fading and she could now start to feel the exhaustion take over. “I couldn’t have done this without you.” She reached a hand up and gently wiped a stray tear.

He leaned down and gave her a gentle, passionate kiss.

“Good job, Mom and Dad,” Dr. Lee said with a smile. “Mrs. Hyde, we’re just going to stitch you up—”

“Steven…” Y/n whimpered, her eyelids getting heavier. “’M tired. S’ tired.”

“Uh, doc? Is she supposed to be feeling this tired? She can’t keep her eyes opened—”

The heart rate monitors suddenly start screaming.

“Someone get the babies out of here!” Dr. Lee ordered. “Mr. Hyde, I’m going to need you to step out the room.”

“What’s going on?!” Hyde demanded and looked down to Y/n who was barley conscious.

“She’s hemorrhaging and it’s causing her blood pressure to drop. She’s going into shock.”

“What?!” Steven shouted as he started to be pushed out. “Wait! Wait! Y/n!”

Everything happened so fast, the last thing Hyde saw was his wife being surrounded by nurses and doctors as he was shoved out the room, and the door slammed in his face.

Taglist: @not-shy-nanya @taysirene @maddieschampagneproblems @mdittyz123 @undead-sierra @random-thoughts-004 @lieswithoutfairytales @chloem4a1 @srhxpc @zhonglibxitch @leothesquishy

[malarkgirlypop]

MEDIC! Part 33 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

Whoops I was supposed to post this ages ago, also all my promises of fixing the situation may have been a small lie. But I'm sure you will all forgive me!

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, not hate to anyone involved.

Tag list: @imusicaddict, @b00ks1ut , @mstiemountainhop, @awaterfalls anyone else please let me know.

The CO’s had kept quiet about my outburst, which I was thankful for. But they now also avoided me, like Don. There was nobody else to blame but myself. I sighed, massaging my temples with my fingers, the stress of the war was supposed to be over, but here I was making it harder than it needed to be. 

I hardly saw the rest of the troops often, they were so busy with training and when they were finally done, all they wanted to do was sleep. I was back to my loner self. 

My strolls had turned into hike’s, I walked as far and as long as I possibly could until the sun started to dip behind the mountains. 

I strolled through one of the small villages, it was one of the more busy places. It was always hustling with life, with markets, shops and bars that lined the street. 

“Emily?” A feminine voice called to me. I glanced over my shoulder to find one of the field nurses that I always spoke to when I went to the aid stations. 

“Ruth!” I beamed at the pretty lady as she approached me. When she was close enough she pulled me in tight for a hug. We hadn’t seen each other in a while due to no one really needing to go to the aid stations. 

“How have you been?” I asked as we pulled away from each other. 

“So good, this is like a mini holiday! They don’t have much for us to do, so most days the girls and I just sightsee, before they decide they want to ship us all home again.” Her smile was infectious, I found myself grinning back at her. It didn’t help that this was the most human interaction I had gotten in a while.

“Oh well you deserve it. You ladies worked so hard.” I said as I squeezed her hand. 

“What about you? Do they still have you working hard?” She asked. 

“No, there is nothing much for me to do. The men are all busy training for if they are needed in the Pacific.” 

“Gosh those poor men. I hope they don’t have to go, I heard it was diabolical over there.” Ruth shook her head, a worried look crossed her features. It didn’t last long as she turned back to me and gleamed. 

“You know what, the girls and I are going out for drinks tonight!” Ruth’s eyes lit up as she told me. 

“That’s so fun!”

“You should come along. All the nurses would love to see you, and it’s just us, so we can have a girl’s night.” Ruth took hold of my hands and squealed with excitement. 

“Me?” I asked. 

“Yes of course. We all went out yesterday and came back with gorgeous dresses. So we are ditching the uniforms and going all out. Please say you’ll make it!” Her face watched me eagerly. 

“I can come. I think I have a dress somewhere, but I don’t have any makeup.” I thought back to the dress that Renee had given me, which felt like years ago. I hoped that it was still in one piece, I hadn’t looked at it since she had given it to me. 

“Why don’t we buy some?” The brunette pointed over at one of the shops that lined the streets. I hadn’t gone into any of them since I didn’t have any money.

“I would love to. But I didn’t bring any cash with me.” I grimaced at her. “Plus I don’t have much. I send it all home.” I lied. 

“That’s no bother, it’s on me.” She didn’t let me utter another word dragging me along behind her. 

We spent an hour in the shop as she swatched at least every product. Ruth said she wanted me to have something to bring home. 

“Lipstick, mascara and eyeliner!” She begged. 

“I can’t let you buy all of that for me, it's too much.” I tried to get her to put back the items but she moved them out of reach from me. 

“No, it’s the necessity for a night out. I picked out the prettiest red shade that will match your complexion so well!” Ruth popped off the cap of the lipstick, twisting it out of the tube. 

“Come on Emily, you’ll look so pretty, you might even catch a good looking man or two.” Ruth winked at me. I hid my laughter behind my hand. 

“Fine!! But you’ll have to let me buy you a drink.” I would have to steal some cash from Lieb or someone, I would give them all of the smokes I had stashed away. 

“Deal!” Ruth nodded in enthusiasm as she trotted off to the counter to pay. 

I said my goodbyes, thanking Ruth again for all of the goodies she had brought me. She had told me she would send a car around 5 o’clock to come pick me up from the base. 

We parted ways with a hug and ‘see you later’. 

************************************************ 

I touched up the lipstick that Ruth had kindly brought for me. She was right, it did suit my complexion. I had never been one for bright colours, I felt like it drew too much attention, I normally avoided it. But with the soft blue dress Renee gave me, it made me look that much more put together. 

I had showered and shaved, even going as far as styling my hair. Not that I could do much with it, my curls had gotten so long that they nearly touched my butt. 

I had taken the sides that framed my face and pinned them up, sporting a half-up half-down look. I left small curls around my features that sat on cheekbones, giving me a softer appearance. I applied a generous amount of mascara and tight-lined my water line, making my lash line appear thicker. I didn’t need to wear blush. My pale skin always had rosy cheeks and a sunkissed nose. 

Standing back, I took in my appearance in the mirror. A girl stood in front of me, one I hadn't seen in a long time. She looked young and pretty, surely that wasn’t me. 

I brushed the non-existent lint from the front of the dress nervously fidgeting. What would people say when they say me, I wonder if they think I’m trying too hard? 

Renee’s dress was beautiful. The material was satin so it shined in the light. The sleeves came above my elbows and were slightly ruched down the seams, same for the neckline. The material was pleated at the tops of my shoulders that continue down to under my breasts, which accentuated the curves of them. The fabric parted in the middle, letting my cleavage slightly show. The waist hugged mine, giving me an hourglass shape, the skirt then cascaded down to just above my shin.

I looked so elegant.          

My watch read ten to, so I got a move on. Stashing the cash I had nicked from Lieb in my bra, before taking one last glance in the mirror before heading out the door. 

I made it to the street where the car would be coming to collect me. I was early, so I stood on the side of the road letting my mind wander. I was away with the fairies, I didn’t notice the men had all finished their training for the day and were making their way back home. 

“Guten Tag, baby doll.” I heard from behind me. I turned around to find a smirking Lieb, I gasped in shock taking a step back. His face dropped, mirroring my horror. 

“YOU’RE A GIRL!” Lieb yelled, pointing at me. I looked at the man incredulously.  

“What?! Lieb, what the fuck.” I tried to get him to keep quiet, bringing my finger to my lips. Lieb continued to gape at me. 

“I’ve always been a girl, what are you on about!” I growled at him, trying to keep my voice low. I didn’t want all the unnecessary attention. 

“No, you’re not a girl all the time.” Joe tried to counter. 

“I am always a girl. What do you think when I put on my uniform I magically grow a cock and balls?” I quipped at the speechless man who was still staring at me in disbelief. 

“Ew, I thought you were someone else Em.” Lieb said astounded. I scoffed at him. He pretended to give a disturbed shiver. I think he was more weirded out that he had flirted with me. 

“Just tell me I look nice, you dick.” I shook my head at him. 

As luck would have it the rest of the Easy men strolled right past us. Lieb and I spotted them at the same time, I waved my hands in front of me trying to stop what I knew was about to come next. 

“LUZ COME LOOK AT THIS!” Lieb cupped his hands around his mouth, echoing his voice across the distance. The group walking with Luz turned their attention onto Lieb, who enthusiastically waved them over. 

Luz came bounding towards us, as the rest of the men slowly made their way behind him. George glanced at me, giving a polite smile and turning to Lieb. His head snapped around to look at me again, doing a double take. 

He gawked at me for a second before sobering. A charming smile plastered itself onto his face as he closed the distance between us. 

“Oh my who is this pretty dame?” Luz bowed like an idiot. George took my hand and kissed the back of it, grinning up at me like the Cheshire cat. I pretended to swat him away. The rest of the men had finally made their way over to us.  

“Darlin’ don’t you look beautiful.” Bull beamed at me. 

“Thank you Bull. See Lieb, that is how you pay a woman a compliment.” I smiled at Bull as he winked at me. Lieb rolled his eyes, sending me his signature smirk. 

Babe scared the living daylights out of me as he sprinted towards me, not looking like he was about to put the brakes on at any point. I squealed as he grabbed my waist, hoisting me up above his head and spinning us in a circle. 

“Look at you Em.” He placed me back on the ground keeping his hands on my waist, I grinned at him.

“Someone taking you out?” Lip asked from behind as Babe stepped back. The men grew quiet, their brains firing all at once. Before I could answer there was an uproar of sound from the guys. 

“Who’s the man? Is he picking you up? Is it Malarkey?” Lieb asked sternly, the other men doing the same. 

“Where are you going, why do you look so nice?” Babe's voice was overlapped by the other voices. 

“Malarkey never mentioned he was going out tonight?” Lip mumbled. I looked around at the men as they rambled on. 

“HEY!” I pulled their focus back onto me.

“Firstly it’s none of your goddamn business, but if you must know, no I am not going on a date. I am going out for a drink with the field nurses to a local pub. I don't know the name, and their car is coming to pick me up in about 4 minutes, so you all need to scram.” I took a breath after I answered all of their questions. 

“And no Malarkey is not going to be heartbroken, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I looked towards Lip who smiled at me. No one had caught on that we were fighting, since they all thought I was going out with Don tonight.   

I watched Luz turn in a circle looking for said man. But he was nowhere to be seen. 

“Don’t you think he should see you before you go?” Lieb asked, tilting his head as he did so. 

I didn’t get time to answer as a car horn honked from behind me. Ruth waved at me from the passenger seat, smiling brightly at me. 

“Em, get in.” 

I waved back at her, nodding my head. I turned to the men standing in front of me. “I’ll see you all later. Don’t wait up!” 

The men said goodbye as I headed towards the car, climbing into the back seat where a few of the other nurses sat. I turned and gave one last wave to the group on the side of the road as the car pulled away from the curb.

--------------------------------------

Chapter 34

[carry-on-my-wayward-hobbit]

I mean it’s kinda been a while since I’ve been properly active on here whoops. But I’ve still but skulking about quietly cultivating my silly little hyperfixations and writing my silly little stories about them and it’s gotten to the point where I may finally have something new to put on AO3 so I figured I would indulge in WIP Wednesday to really put the pressure on.

It has been two years since I’ve posted a fic and this is a Christmas fic so she still has a few months of proofing and fine tuning ahead - but it intends to be very wolfstar turning hallmark movie featuring single-dad/bookstore owner Remus; fancy business Sirius learning to let himself appreciate to little things in life; James being his usual chaotic-Christmas obsessed self; toddle Harry and Teddy being best friends/partners in crime/unintentional matchmakers; and a little side of domestic Jily

It’s strange being back in Hogsmeade. Sirius notes as he makes his way down the winding street, that the small town really hasn’t changed at all since he was last here almost ten years ago. In fact, if anything it somehow seems even smaller and quieter than it was when he used to visit during his high school days. Frankly, he finds it ridiculous that James would ever want to give up the excitement and buzz of city life for a town whose under-fifty population could probably be counted on two hands. And yes, logically it does make sense - Lily started a new job at their old high school in September and it’s probably a good place to raise a kid (not that Sirius knows much about good parenting but he feels like quaint countryside is supposed to be good.) But regardless of that, at the end of the day, Sirius is still just a smidge annoyed that his best friends up and moved to the other end of the country when there are plenty of good schools in London for Lily to teach at and Harry to enrol in.

However, any mild resentment that has quietly brewed over the last couple of months is quickly replaced by excitement when he finally reaches the last cottage at the of the street and pushes open the red garden gate. The front door is open before Sirius if even halfway up the path. There’s a delightful squeal and Sirius barely has time to register what’s happening before a tiny toddler slams into his leg at a speed that no three-year-old should be able to reach.

He leans down to scoop up Harry, lifting him high into the air and holding him above his head. Harry shrieks with glee, making tiny grabby hands at Sirius’ face.

“Hello Hazza, how’s my favourite little Prongslet?” He asks as he gives Harry one more bounce in the air before bringing him down to balance on his hip.

“Pads!” is all Harry has to say with an unwipable grin plastered on his face.

“He’s been watching through the window all day,” another voice calls and Sirius glances up to find Lily leaning up in the open doorway, an equally big smile as her son.

It only takes a few strides for Sirius to make it to the porch and as soon as he’s in arms reach, he pulls Lily into a tight hug. “Hey, Lils,” he says, face pressed into her soft curls. God he’s missed this.

“How was the journey up?” She asks as pulls away from the hug and leads him inside.

He is hot immediately by the warmth and the smell of baking. It immediately reminds him of visiting the Potters over Christmas as a teenager - Effie and Monty had somehow always made him feel more welcome and more at home than he ever did with his actual parents.

“Long,” he says as he shucks his shoes off. It’s a careful balancing act as he refuses to put Harry down. “I can’t believe we used to do that trip multiple times a year without complaint.”

Lily hums in agreement. “I know. Now imagine it that little nightmare,” she says, the last part more of a coo than actual talking and Harry is giggling again as she ruffles his dark hair.

“Aw, you’re not a nightmare, are you Harry?”

“Yeah!” Harry cheers in agreement.

“You wouldn’t disagree after a ten-hour road trip with him.”

Sirius shudders at the thought.

[vivacia-18]

This was getting to long for the tags, hope you don't mind me commenting directly!

asdlkjaada The freaking Dondon quest - I totally did that one by accident, and all of the reveal was totally overshadowed by the fact that I felt equal parts bad and annoyed finding out that they were unkillable NPCs when I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to murder the herd for meat X'D

But yeah, overall while I don't look for much depth in a video game (if I want it I'm cool to come with a shovel myself later) totk really lacked cohesion overall. Certain parts of the story and characters were enjoyable, but it definitely didn't pull itself together very well.

One thing I wanted to see way back in botw, and that I think could have tied in well to this game - and maybe even the Dondon quest! - was having the monsters actually be part of Hyrule. As in like, people that are meant to be there. Its stated multiple times that the blood moon summons lost spirits who are cursed to wander the land and fight and die in eternal cycles of damnation. We also know that dead/undead and transformation into other species is a thing in Zelda (the Stals in OOT anyone?) completely unrelated to Ganondorfs whole deal. What I wanted SO BAD was for post game after getting rid of the blood moon, the curse would be lifted and the monsters would be normal again. So you could barter for stuff (bokoblins, etc), or battle for prestige but not to the death (Lynels), or like sneakily harvest things (Hynox, Talus) but you wouldn't be killing them anymore - because they're among the people you were trying to save, they're a part of Hyrule too. And now the warrior dead can rest in peace once more.

Until we accidentally bring the blood back in totk and they're summoned/cursed again, whoops! But anyways, I felt like that would have been both good gameplay and good depth, and now I kinda like the tie in of the Dondons only being known as they were cursed under the blood moon, and it's only recently that they've shown to be naturally pretty docile, or something along those lines.

I also think that could have tied in well with explaining Gan too, and how the fuck he was still around when the Calamity was supposed to be banished and they made an explicit point of saying he had chosen to forgo the chance of reincarnation, so shouldn't he have been gone forever? Finally broken free of the cycle and allowed to rest?

I haven't thought this part through quite as much, so bear with me. The blood moon reads as a curse to me, but not so much one cast BY Ganondorf, so much as it is the manifestation of the curse UPON him. It truly seems like in this game duo especially Gan is destined to fall to madness, and one headcanon I've gotten rather fond of that ties into the Light and Darkness thing is that its because the power of Light is incompatible with him long term, just as the power of Dark is incompatible to Zelda (if we really want to reach we can link it back to the schism between Hylia and Demise in SS, but that's optional).

Any long term exposure to their opposite will have detrimental mental effects - basically a magical autoimmune reaction. I think he can interact with certain aspects - note that both he and Zelda seem compatible with Sheikah tech/magic, which is fun conceptually as they are a people/Sages of Shadow - but not pure Light. I think Zelda would go equally mad should she ever try to use Dark magics long term.

Fortunately for her and unfortunately for Gan, Light being the magic of the main ruling family makes it much more prominent and easy to find for someone who is naturally driven to seek Power. And when he does his magic becomes... sick, for a lack of better terms. This culminated into terminal illness upon bonding with the soul stone - cruel in the way of tuberculosis, granting a flush of power and vibrancy before death, this created the blood moon - a warped representation of death and rebirth, light and dark, twisted into something foul. And contaminated magic is what we see manifested as the blight/gloom in later years. The Calamity was his spirit, broken free of Rauru's seal, yearning to be reunited with its body. And in totk we see his flesh revived, though his spirit was thought slain and the curse of the blood moon broken. It wasn't though, just briefly contained once more, because the source of the blight - the soul stone - was still bonded to him, and he couldn't rest until it was removed.

...Wow, this got far longer than I was intending, guess I really brought that shovel afterall X'D

tldr; I agree with OP that totk had the potential to be much deeper and more narratively satisfying than it was, even within the realm of what one would generally expect from a mainstream video game (which is not too much). And a big part of that for me would be a tweak to the monster mechanics post-game, and a little more actual backstory to Ganondorfs backstory to they actually make narrative sense.

The Dondon Post (or: the bizarre TotK's side content counterpoints to its main quest's immuable binary morality)

Speaking of strange TotK Choices, I think I have one singe post left in me about this game; and it's about the Dondon quest, "The Beast and the Princess".

(and about other stuff too, you'll see, we'll get to them)

More specifically: about how... strange of a thematic point it feebly attemps to make in the larger context of the storyline, and how it seems to be yet another mark of a world that, perhaps, once tried to be more morally complex that it ended up becoming.

Buckle up: it's a long one, and it gets pretty conceptual.

(good gem boys notwhistanding)

The Princess and the Beast

So, a couple of things about the setup. We are investigating potential Princess sightings; but at this point, either because we have already completed a bunch and know the general gib, because we have met a couple of wild Fake Zelda shenanigans, or through the simple fact that we are completing a side quest, we know there's a good chance it won't lead to an actual Zelda information. So when we ask Penn about what is going on and he replies with the ominous "we saw the Princess riding some kind of beast --a frightening one with huge, brutal tusks-- that the princess seemed to control", we get Ideas. Then the sidequest is registered: "The Princess and the Beast".

So. You know me. And if you don't know me, here's what you should know: my brain immediately flared up with the thought there was no way in hell this wasn't some kind of wink towards Ganondorf's renowned boarish beast form, especially given tusks were given so much focus.

My first assumption was: that's a miniboss right? I will get to fight some small boar-like thing that Fake Zelda rides sometimes. Cool! I didn't hold too hard onto my hope that the relationship of Zelda and/or Ganondorf to the natural world, or to each other would be expanded upon, since I had already been burned before, but my interest was piqued.

You have to understand how starved I was for any hint of complexity or mystery or ambiguity at this point. I was extremely eager for the game to throw anything at me that would surprise me, enlighten something pre-established, make the exploration lead to a meaningful discovery or deepening of characters, world or themes (and not just slightly cooler loot, or a bossfight, or a puzzle devoid of emotional context --cohesion and depth is what motivates my play sessions, especially in an open world game that I want to believe is worth losing oneself into). This was about the most intriguing task on my to do list at the moment, and so I plunged in immediately.

After really REALLY misunderstanding what I was supposed to do (I stalked every corner of every forest surrounding the tropical area at night or during blood moons in hope to see something --which was very much the wrong call), I arrived to the other stable, then was guided to the other side of the river where Cima awaits and explains that these creatures are actually a new species discovered by Zelda; that they are gentle and kind and not at all scary ("Dondons aren't beastly, they're adorable!"), and even somehow digest luminous stones into gemstones. They like the company of people and liked Zelda in particular.

I was... I felt two different ways about this conclusion, and I think it's worth to explore both: disappointment and some sort of... "huh!" Hard to describe this emotion otherwise.

I'll get the disappointment out of the way first, because it's the least interesting of the two. While I think the little emotional arc I was taken on was not devoid of interest --I was indeed taken on by the rumor and intrigued by its implications-- I wanted, well. A little bit more. And if the creatures were to be Zelda's pet project, I would have loved for them to be actually terrifying and feisty, and for her to develop an interest for these creatures in particular regardless. It could have been very interesting characterization that veered out of the perfect princess loving the perfect world floundering around her, always bringing her clear, practical benefits from the interaction.

(I have made another post that speaks of my discomfort that Zelda does everything everywhere and everyone loves her for it --I get what they were trying to go for, but it either lacks conflict for me to buy into that dynamic at the scale of several regions, or they went on too hard for my taste, as she is, at once and in the span of a couple of years at most: a schoolteacher, a gardener, an animal researcher, a scholar, a traveler, a military expert, a knower of landscape, a painter, a horse rider, an infrastructure planner, a [...] princess --at some point it begins to sound made up, "Little Father of the people"-esque to rattle the hornet's nest a little bit, especially if it's not shown as either a clearly godly characteristic or, even more necessary imo, a negative trait; another expression of her killing herself at work to compensate for a perceived flaw she's trying to earn forgiveness for, like she did in BotW. But that's another topic, and the clumsiness of her character arc has been well threaded by basically everybody disappointed in the story already.)

But, if I decide to be a little graceful, I'd like to explore my "huh!" emotion, and take it apart a little bit.

I think there's something interesting to have such strong parallels to setting up a story about the relationship between Zelda and Ganondorf ("The Princess and the Beast", like come on guys that's the conflict of over half the series), or at least Zelda and the concept of Evil since Ganondorf pretty much represents it in this game, and then have it go: actually, there was a horrible monster that everyone was afraid of, but Zelda was wise and patient enough to approach it and realize its potential beyond the tusks, what beauty can be brought upon the world if one makes the effort to look for what exists underneath. It says something a bit deeper about the world and about Zelda in particular. It intrigues, at the very least.

Is it a reach? Probably! Is my first interpretation that the quest is actually about "eww you thought Zelda would be interested in *disgusting vile monsters* and not sweet and gentle and human-loving animals that literally shit jewlery when cared for? jokes on you, she never would feel any ounce of sympathy for anything that isn't Good and Deserving" uhhh definitively truer? Probably! But I also don't want to dismiss that the quest made me think about it. If I had completed it earlier, I might have even felt like it was (very clumsy, not gonna lie) setup about the main conflict.

But that's also a good segway into my next section: the arbitrary limitations between the animal and the creature, the monstrous and the human.

And the fact that TotK points directly at it.

A Monstrous Collection

(these two guys are just. doing So Much and being So Valid despite being massive weirdos the game wants us to be slightly repelled by. I, for one, respect the Monster kinning grind and their general Twilight Princess energy.)

So. These two guys. There is so much to say about these two guys. I don't think I have seen the Trans Perspective on Kolton on tumblr, and I would love to get it because. I feel like it's a worthwhile discussion (just, how gender and identity is handled in TotK overall, I feel like it's a very complicated conversation and I have not seen super deep dives and I'd be very interested in hearing more).

Beyond the throughline of voluntary consumption of magical objects to turn into less human creatures being a weirdly prevalent plot point in TotK (Zelda, Kolton and Ganondorf casually transing their entire species for funsies --Ganondorf being particularly relentless with Fake Zelda, mummy/phantom shenanigans, Demon King and then literal dragon), I want to focus on Kilton a little bit.

Kilton is genuinely the only NPC in the game willing to acknowledge the inherent personhood that monsters have (the game does showcase them picking up fruits, mourning their boss if you kill them, being cutesy and happy to identify you as one of their own if you wear the appropriate mask --and that's not even getting into creatures like the Lynels, who seem to really edge on the limit of being a conscious creature with a system of honor and property and many other things). He does encourage us to think of monsters as more than a species whose only worth lie in how fun it is to eradicate them; even more, gameplay-wise, he does give us a reason to interact with them in other ways than just our sword with his museum. He does encourage us to see that beauty for ourselves and then select what we think is coolest/most intimidating/cutest/eight billion ganondorfs in every pose imaginable

The fact that Ganondorf is considered a monster was a great win for this feature in particular, and is very funny, but it's also... A lot, if we dig at it a little more than warranted. Beyond all of the Implications and all of the things of representation and political conflict and values already discussed ad nauseum: when did he stop being considered a human? What does that mean about the flimsiness of what is a monster and what is a creature and what is an animal and what is a person and what is even a hylian, as sheikahs got absorbed into the definition in this game? Especially with the stones taken into account, how profound changes in nature are a huge part of the plot (even when reversed and ultimately pretty meaningless): how easy it is, to make that slip? Who decides when that slip has been made? What is acceptable to hurt without remorse? What is beautiful and worth preserving? What is both at once? What is neither?

And again, in a classic Zelda conundrum (appreciative(?)): who the fuck gets to decide that, when, and why?

The Bargainers and the Horned God

(major shoutout to these big guys for being the sole and only providers of actual depth to the Depths, and for looking cool as heck)

So. Let's move the conversation to the Depths.

Conceptually: what an interesting idea!! And so well executed (initially)!! A mirror world to the surface, dark and hushed and full of unknown creatures; haunted by gloom and sickness and the unknown. Not a first in the series, far from it: from ALTTP to ALBW, and even taking the Twilight world of TP into account, this idea of a Dark World acting as a deforming mirror to Hyrule and revealing many interesting aspects as we get to explore both is always a very interesting take on corruption and envy and fear/weakness and/or some sense of darkness looming under the perfect exterior. I'd argue even the Lens of Truth of both OoT and MM's serve a similar function, both gameplay-wise, but also in terms of theme: not everything is as it seems. In the world of Light, darkness must hide itself; but darkness also possess its own beauty, its own hardships, and will stare back at you without blinking if you go seek for it. It's, in my opinion, one of the series' most compelling conversation about the cyclical nature of fate, the coldness of godhood, and how small one feels in the face of a universe that is more complicated than it initially appears --which is why Courage must be invoked to push forward regardless.

The Depth's otherworldly ambiance is truy wonderful, whether in the plays of light and shadows, the creatures native to the environment we meet there (wish we met more!), the soundtrack, the strange aquatic/primordial plants, the fact that the dragons visit this place and connect them to the outside --invoking ideas of balance and interconnectivity, that the tree branches look like veins. The coliseums, the mines, the zonai facilities and the prisons do seem to poke at many things about what the relationship to the past was to this place; was it ever truly a place? Did it look like this back then? Why was it buried? Why did it come back? But in spite of it all, I think the Depths struggle overall to question or reveal anything about the surface that we couldn't already assume going in (that the only thing congealing there is Ganondorf's gloom, his lonely domain of Wrongness, only shared by Kohga and the yiga --the only naysayers of Goodness and Light, contemptful and blinded by self-importance and rage). The zonite is mined by gloomy monsters --why, what for?-- so any notion of greed and over-expansion that could have been associated to the zonai is now reabsorbed into Ganondorf's general evilness, since it needs to be reminded he is everything and anything bad with the world: darkness and conquest and greed and capitalism and pollution and bad weather and sickness and darkness and violence and war and death and betrayal and fakeness and lies and patriarchy and exploitation. No matter that he never does a single thing with zonite in the game; rather set up elements of conflict that never go anywhere than, for a second, let the foundations of absolute goodness and absolute evil risk becoming shaky --and you coming to this unwelcoming dark place that hates you, killing the miners and taking their resources for yourself is, on the other holy, royal fur-covered hand, utterly legitimate. The resources were once Rauru's after all, were they not?

And this is what I would say, except... except for the dead. The fallen warriors, the poes, and, most important of all: the Bargainer statues.

The Bargainers are, in-universe, godly creatures guiding the fallen to a place of final respite, regardless of moral alignment. The poes are all, fundamentally, cleansed of judgement: they are lost souls whose past reality does not matter anymore, and all deserve that peace regardless. In spite of the heavy paradise/hell parallels drawn in that game, with Rauru/Zelda/Sonia as the guardians of Light where Ganondorf gets to become a Devil-like figure, it is confirmed here that no such thing exists when you actually die in this universe.

It almost feels as if the fabric of Hyrule itself, in a brief moment that refuses to elaborate on its own point, goes: "yeah, whatever is happening here between Light and Darkness, it doesn't actually matter. This conflict is futile and doesn't understand the real nature of being alive, dead, a god, a person, a monster, an animal. The truth lies elsewhere --but you will never be told what it is."

It's: wild.

One of the game's most striking traits of narrative brilliance in my opinion --to the point where I'm wondering whether it's there on purpose or was effectively an oversight since every other aspect of reality breaks its own back trying to reassure us that everything is at its correct place, receiving the appropriate treatment by the universe in a way that is never to be questioned.

Another case of that ambiguity being allowed to exist without being immediately crushed and repressed is the case of the Horned God (interesting parallel to Ganon's actual horns that he develops in this game in case the hellish parallels weren't clear enough already): a demon Hylia sealed into stone and pushed far from humans in a clear case of questionable behavior since, while the Horned God isn't exactly nice, does propose a different philosophy you are not punished for exploring; and yet, a proposal that has seen itself persecuted in a very real sense by the goddess of absolute goodness, patron of hylians, Zelda, and many more. Pushed away from view.

Interesting.

And Yet, Light Must Prevail

Okay, so, after all of this, we're left to ask... What the fuck is up with morality in Tears of the Kingdom?!

What do we trust? These half-breaths in the occasional sidequests that Light and Darkness is just the wrong frame of reference, that nature cannot be this simple, is ever-shifting and can be recalled or reaffirmed by arbitrary forces, and might even not matter at all in the universe's fabric, despite having so much of its lore soaking in the dychotomy? Or... everything else about the game, this insistence that Good must not only be assumed as whatever tradition the kingdom has passed down for thousands upon thousands of years, but remain utterly unquestioned the entire time? That Bad is without cause, graceless and unworthy of investment?

Are the Bargainer's statues the only thing worth listening to, that morality is a fable the living tells themselves --or should we be moved when Darkness destroys Light, when Light suffers to preserve itself and the world --but not when the Other is rightfully slain?

Was Kilton correct to see beauty in the monstrous? Was Kolton onto something when he let go of his previous form because there is no clear distinction between what should receive an arrow to the face and what shouldn't? Or should we rather focus on Zelda losing her human form as a beautiful and tragic sacrifice --but something that never actually altered her nature as a hylian, the descendant of a lineage of Good Kings meant to rule forever?

Is the Dondon good because it always was, or was it worth Zelda's love in spite of the fear it initially provoked?

Either way, at the end of the game, evil is slain. Ganondorf is, not killed, but --like his angry BotW boar counterpart-- destroyed, as monsters tend to be. He explodes over the lands of Hyrule, freed from Darkness; freed from everything wrong, since the foreign menace that embodied it all was wiped out in one fateful sweep of a holy blade cradled in sacrificial love. Nothing wrong remains. The Sages reaffirm their vows to protect the kingdom forward, and a very human --hylian-- Zelda smiles: Hyrule now forever and ever basked in eternal Light.

[quicksilversquared]

Scream to the Trees

Marinette is tired of pushing her emotions to the side all of the time. It's important not to get akumatized since she's Ladybug, but it's getting harder and harder to shove her feelings back in the closet and lock them away. It's only safe to let her emotions out when she's outside of Paris, but that's not possible- or is it?

After all, the Horse Miraculous exists.

(written post-Startrain and pre-Chat Blanc/finale, so not canon with those #whoops)

links in the reblog

Marinette was starting to struggle.

Most of the time, she liked being Ladybug. Sure, there were things that she could do without- having her life interrupted because of akuma attacks and having to scramble to make up work and try to explain to her parents and teachers and friends why she hadn't been where she was supposed to be was a huge pain for sure- but Marinette had to acknowledge that her life had improved since becoming Ladybug. She was more confident now, braver, more comfortable with herself and with grabbing opportunities as they came. Marinette had noticed herself becoming a lot more athletic since becoming Ladybug, too, and that was plenty appreciated, too.

But Ladybug came with a lot of responsibilities and a lot of pressure. There was the pressure to save the day during every akuma attack, ramped up even more when Chat Noir was taken out or was late to a battle. She had to be a superhero, and a public figure, and a role model. There were interviews and public events that she was expected to do, and it was important to seem put-together and on top of things at all times, not letting on any weaknesses. Ladybug had to not let on any personal information and do her best to debunk or mislead anyone who got too close to the truth. She had to not lose her temper during interviews- it didn't reflect well on her- and do her best to not upset anyone during the interviews. Civilians always expected her and Chat Noir to save them even when they completely failed to evacuate an area just because they wanted to see the akuma and the superheroes, even though both of them had mentioned multiple times during interviews that the continued presence of civilians was both distracting and dangerous.

And being Ladybug also meant that Marinette could not, under any circumstances, get akumatized.

Which- well, it didn't sound like getting akumatized would be pleasant, so it wasn't as though Marinette would want to get akumatized, even if she weren't Ladybug. The gap in akumatized people's memories, the guilt, the confusion- none of it sounded like fun. But people got akumatized because they had been able to react to something. They were allowed to feel upset, to feel mad, to feel betrayed or embarrassed or disappointed. Sure, it would be better to be able to feel without being turned into a raging monster- and most of the time people could, Hawkmoth didn't go for every upset person in Paris- but Marinette couldn't risk it herself. She had to push her emotions down, lock them away, and keep going, as though everything was just fine, even when it wasn't.

Forcing her emotions away was starting to get really, really old. It was also getting harder and harder to do with every passing day, and there had been some close calls recently. Some really close calls. And they had been justified, but she was Ladybug, and unlike everyone else in the city, Ladybug could not get herself akumatized without dire consequences.

So naturally, Marinette sought out Master Fu for advice, taking the trek across the city to his new apartment.

"I see," Master Fu murmured thoughtfully once Marinette had told him everything, doing her best to battle down her frustration as she recounted the number of times that she had had to force her emotions away so that she wouldn't be a potential target for akumatization. "Controlling one's emotions is an important skill and one that some people could certainly stand to improve on, but emotions are human and it is not healthy to never allow yourself to feel. Bottling it all up will only result in explosive results later, but while you're in the city, it would be too dangerous to let yourself give in to emotion."

Marinette nodded, pushing down her frustration even more. She knew this already and while it was nice to get reassured that getting upset wasn't a character fault and it wasn't a good idea to always be repressing, she wanted ideas.

Support was helpful, but she needed a solution.

"So what should I do, take a train out of Paris every time I get really upset about something so I can yell at some trees?" Marinette asked despite herself, the sarcastic edge slipping in despite herself. "That doesn't seem very practical."

Thankfully, Master Fu didn't appear upset, instead giving her a small smile. "No, not very. But you have just given me an idea." Pushing himself to his feet, Master Fu headed over to his gramophone and opened it, pulling out the Miraculous Box. "I would recommend a multipronged approached, actually. First of all, identify the source of discontent and address it so that it cannot continue to cause you harm. What about the situation is upsetting you? Otherwise, all other solutions will only help momentarily."

Marinette nodded, but she couldn't help but be a bit doubtful about that. She had been trying to address the whole Lila problem, but it hadn't done anything but backfire on her. No one would listen to her when she called out the really obvious discrepancies in Lila's stories, Alya only called her jealous, and Lila upped her (not-very-subtle) assault on Marinette's character. And sitting back- well, at this point it wasn't really an option, because Lila was the kind of person to take advantage of any opening or weakness and run with it.

"I recognize that that can be hard and in the heat of the moment, it can be almost impossible to come up with a solution," Master Fu continued. He lifted up the box and carried it over to Marinette, setting it down on the floor before sitting back down on his pillow and pressing the buttons to open the Miraculous Box. "So I would like to propose an idea that incorporates your suggestion. Perhaps taking a train wouldn't be practical, given the amount of time that it would take for you to get safely out of Hawkmoth's range, but something a bit more instantaneous might be more fitting."

Marinette gasped in realization as her mentor reached for one particular drawer. "The Horse Miraculous! Of course! I can just make a portal out to the countryside to vent, then come back when it's safe. But..." She frowned, determined to not let herself get carried away too soon. "I would still have to get away from wherever I was and come over here, and I don't know how practical that would be, either."

Master Fu smiled at her, removing the Horse Miraculous from its drawer. "You misunderstand me, Marinette. I have let you borrow the Horse before in case you needed it, and I am letting you borrow it again. All you will need to do is find a private place in which you can use Voyage and know where you want to go. That, and ensure that you have enough food to recharge Kaalki prior to vanishing off to the countryside. It would not do for Ladybug to get stuck in the countryside, several hours away from Paris."

Marinette let herself feel the first tendrils of hope. With that new information... "This could help during battles, too! I always worry about Hawkmoth trying to track me back to your apartment when I have to come get more Miraculous, but if I have Kaalki- I can just make a portal and hop through!"

Her mentor looked impressed. "I had not thought of that, but you are most correct! Having you holding on to the Horse will be exceedingly helpful in a variety of ways, then."

"I'll just have to be really, really careful with my bag now," Marinette added, a small frown flashing across her face. "I've had a lock on it ever since Lila decided to plant an answer key for a test in it- same with my locker- but I don't want to accidentally leave my bag open one day and have her try to steal the Miraculous." The thought of Lila with a Miraculous, and in particular one that would give her unhindered access to any locations she could think of, was terrifying. "Maybe a combination box would work, so I don't have to carry a key."

"It is unfortunate that your classroom isn't secure enough for the Miraculous to be fine in your bag, but perhaps the extra security measures are for the better," Master Fu agreed. "You don't want anyone to see the Miraculous box by accident and put two and two together. And it would be easier than ever for someone to do, with the Ladyblogger's post about the Miraculous crest."

Marinette winced at that. Somehow- even though Alya had managed to make the connection between the designs on a variety of different historical objects, even though Alya prided herself on being super up-to-date on all things Miraculous- Alya had not managed to figure out the connection between her Ladyblog post exposé and the akumatized sentimonster that had appeared less than 24 hours later, destroying the rock sculpture that had only just appeared at the Louvre.

Or maybe she had figured out the connection and had just refrained from telling Marinette, considering how much pushback she had gotten from Marinette about the whole trying to figure out Ladybug's identity thing.

(Marinette didn't believe for a second that Alya had actually stopped trying to figure Ladybug's identity out. Maybe she wasn't being as public about it anymore, but Alya was definitely still super-curious and not so easily dissuaded. Next time Rena Rouge came out, Ladybug was going to have to drop some seriously misleading "accidental clues" about her identity.)

"I do not blame you," Master Fu assured Marinette. He pressed the box with the Horse Miraculous in it into Marinette's hand. "Keep it safe, but do not be afraid to use it whenever you feel the need. You need to be able to get your feelings out- to actually be able to express your feelings when you become upset- and this should help. And Tikki, make sure that Marinette actually uses the Miraculous," Master Fu added to her kwami. "We want to encourage healthy expression of emotions, we just want to ensure that it's done safely."

Tikki nodded, ducking her head. "Of course, Master Fu."

"Come to me if you need anything more," Master Fu told Marinette as she tucked the Miraculous carefully away in her bag, locking it after the box was safely inside. "And one more thing- be sure to have your Akuma Alerts on whenever you leave the city. Tikki may be able to provide you with something for your cell phone so that no matter where you go, you'll still be able to get service."

"Of course, Master."

"Good." Master Fu smiled at her. "I hope it helps, Marinette."

"I'm sure it will," Marinette assured him. She was already feeling more relaxed, knowing that she could leave the city for a bit instead of having to repress her emotions all the time. "Thank you."

  It only took three days before Marinette had to use the Horse Miraculous for the first time. Chloe's birthday had come and gone over the weekend, it seemed, and her mother had gone back to New York only a couple days prior. Because Chloe was Chloe, she was determined to take it out on her classmates. And in particular, Marinette.

Marinette was very, very glad that she now had locks on both her school bag and her locker. Maybe she had to deal with snide comments from Lila and exasperated looks from Alya, but there was very little doubt in her mind that, had Chloe been able to get at her things, something would have been destroyed.

Again.

As it was, Chloe had been trying to push Marinette around and get a rise out of her, and Marinette had pushed right back. And then once again, Ms. Bustier pulled Marinette, not Chloe, out of the classroom to talk to her.

And once again, Marinette's frustration was rising. Giving Chloe good role models wasn't helping, and it never would. Chloe had had examples of how to behave properly for years, with other classmates and teachers and her butler and the other hotel staff, but she simply didn't want to. Why would she, when she got rewarded for being the city's biggest brat? And why should the teachers be expecting Marinette to be that role model for Chloe, when Chloe had bullied Marinette for years? Why did they want her to just lie down and take the abuse, as though that would make things better?

So for once, Marinette didn't censor herself. She didn't bite back her thoughts, pushing them down and away like she usually did. The only way that Chloe was going to stop bullying was if an adult actually stood up to her for once, instead of trying to smooth everything over.

And then, before Ms. Bustier could try to argue or reason with her, Marinette turned and stalked off to the bathrooms. Maybe this wasn't a great time to take a trip out to the countryside- after all, Marinette had already missed a fair bit of class thanks to akuma attacks- but akumas didn't care about when it would be a convenient time for them to show up. She was upset now, and so she would have to miss one more class.

"Really, Chloe just needs to be sent out of Paris!" Tikki exclaimed, sticking her head out of Marinette's bag as she dashed for the bathroom. "She keeps doing stuff like this and upsetting people, and everyone is too worried about upsetting her to do anything about it!"

"You don't have to tell me that," Marinette said grimly, heading into the girl's bathroom and making sure it was empty with a quick glance before dashing for a stall, hands already fumbling for the lock on her bag. "Unfortunately, I don't think that Chloe's father would go for that idea. Kaalki, let's gallop! Voyage!"

Marinette had done her research beforehand and had picked out several possible places in France that she could go for her out-of-Paris relaxation. Her criteria were rather simple, really, and all in the name of safety, comfort, and maximum benefits.

Marinette's retreats had to be somewhere out of the way, where no one could see the portal or see her come through it and then detransform. They had to be somewhere with decent weather, so that she wouldn't spend the entire time shivering and then end up returning to Paris too soon. And to be most effective, they had to be somewhere where Marinette could relax, meaning no noisy industrial sites or mining areas or train stations nearby.

Thankfully, the Horse's power didn't have limits on distance. That meant that Marinette could completely bypass the urban sprawl around Paris to get to green countryside and soaring mountains. So she did.

And once she popped through the portal and it snapped shut behind her, Marinette let loose with a frustrated yell that echoed off of the trees, letting out all of the anger and annoyance and why won't the teachers do ANYTHING? that had built up.

It was a lot. And as soon as it was out, Marinette practically slumped to the ground, her throat already a little sore. There had been a lot of pressure built up, and getting it out...

She hadn't realized how wound up she had been. Weeks and weeks and months of repressed emotions and suppressed reactions and trying to walk the thin line between not causing unnecessary conflict while also trying to stand up against injustice.

Trying, of course, being the operative word. It was hard for her to actually have any sort of lasting impact when the teachers and principal and sometimes even her other classmates were so focused on smoothing things over that they completely undermined her.

It. Was. Maddening.

So what if Chloe got upset and got akumatized? How was that any worse than letting Chloe upset others, over and over again? She had caused more akumas than Marinette cared to count, and pretty much every last one of them had been because Chloe had deliberately upset the person. Accidental akumatizations from Chloe- if any existed- were far and few between, and the deliberate ones had just gotten more frequent after Queen Bee started showing up.

Ladybug had allowed Chloe to keep using her Miraculous in the hopes that having to deal with some akumas would make the bully think twice about being cruel to others. Instead, she seemed to think that if she made enough akumas, she would get to come out more often.

Maybe it would be a pain to have to find and train in another person, but things had gotten to the point where she didn't want her superhero team at all associated with Chloe. Marinette didn't want Paris thinking that she was excusing Chloe's behavior, and frankly, having to fight alongside her longtime bully could be emotionally exhausting sometimes.

"That was quite the scream!" Tikki commented as Marinette released her transformation, letting both kwamis out into the cool forest air. "Has it helped?"

"I feel better, yeah," Marinette admitted, settling herself a bit more comfortably on the ground. There was still a rock digging into her leg. "But yelling at the trees doesn't solve anything. I mean, it felt good to be able to actually do, but it's not going to change Ms. Bustier's mind about actually punishing Chloe when she misbehaves." She scowled, nails digging into her hands as the reminder of the injustice came back. "All she's going to do is tell me to do better! Aren't I already trying enough? Doesn't anyone else in the class have any responsibility, or is it all magically supposed to fall on me?"

"It does seem rather unfair," Tikki agreed, but it fell on deaf ears. Marinette was continuing her rant, now on her feet and pacing.

So Tikki sat back and waited, absentmindedly weaving herself and Kaalki flower crowns to wear. There were plenty of options to choose from in the field, and it was so relaxing but also allowed Tikki to keep an eye on her Chosen, who seemed content to rant to the trees about everything she had been keeping trapped inside so that she wouldn't get akumatized.

It was a lot. Next to Tikki, Kaalki listened, apparently enthralled by the gossip.

"Your teachers do not seem to be interested in creating an environment that would reduce the number of akumas created," Kaalki commented when Marinette slowed, apparently running out of things to say. "Which is unusual, considering that akuma battles can be quite disruptive and dangerous. One would think that the possibility of being akumatized would be extra incentive to really crack down on bullying." She snorted, tossing her mane. "Bullying is not fabulous."

"Tell that to Chloe." Marinette let out a long sigh, scowling at the sky as she fiercely wiped away a stray tear that had started making its way down her cheek. "She seems to think that every time she makes someone cry, it's an achievement. That it's something to laugh about."

Tikki exchanged a look with Kaalki. She was a little shaken, really. Marinette had been upset before, but she had never been allowed to let herself really feel that emotion all that deeply before, not while Tikki had known her. The closest she had seen was during their close calls with akumas, but that- it wasn't anywhere near the level of distress and frustration that Marinette was at now.

"And Master Fu said that I should 'identify the source of the distress and address it', but it's not like I haven't tried!" Marinette continued, another tear streaking down her cheek. "I've pushed back against Chloe, but then I don't get any adult support when she retaliates! Instead, if the adults do anything, it's to scold me for not 'being the bigger person' and 'leading by example'! What else am I supposed to do? It's not like not fighting back will make it any better!"

"The teachers need to improve," Tikki agreed. "You've said before that they seem to favor Chloe, and I can see where you're coming from with that now. Ms. Bustier is so focused on helping Chloe that she's lost sight of all of her other students."

Marinette nodded. The tears were falling freely now, and while Tikki would normally be alarmed, they were well out of Hawkmoth's range and she remembered once hearing Nooroo talking about how therapeutic and relieving it could be to have a good cry. "Unless whatever problem there is is being caused by someone other than Chloe, and even then she just does the dumb hug-and-make-up approach."

"If she tries to do that with you and Lila, I hope you do the same thing that you did today," Tikki told Marinette. She had seen Lila over the past few weeks, and Tikki wouldn't deny that she was a bit alarmed. If Lila got close to Marinette, she would no doubt whisper threats or try to plant something on Marinette to get her in trouble. "Just tell her no and walk away. I know it's hard to stand up to adults, especially ones who are supposed to be protecting you, but if Ms. Bustier gets pushback from her best student, maybe she'll be forced to reflect on if those techniques are actually accomplishing what she wants them to."

"I don't want to have to! I just want to go to school, learn, and hang out with my friends, not have to- to wage a battle every time I leave the house!" Marinette's voice was turning more and more upset. "Why can't I get that? Why do I have to be always fighting in my civilian form, too? Aren't akumas enough?"

Tikki couldn't answer that. It was awful and unfair and the burden for keeping Chloe and Lila under control shouldn't fall on Marinette as much as it did, but she didn't want to say anything and give Marinette false hope.

Hopefully things would change soon and for the better, but why would they? Marinette had pushed back and complained before, abet not to the same extent, and only had been ignored or told that she had to do better. Maybe her going missing for- well, however long it would be- would shake Ms. Bustier enough to take Marinette's complaints seriously, but Tikki wasn't going to count on it. Not when nothing had changed when Chloe had gotten probably half of the class akumatized before.

An hour had passed by the time Marinette had gotten her emotions out and calmed down again enough for her to feel safe returning to Paris. That meant that school had let out for lunch by that time, so Marinette just portal-ed herself into a closet in the library before heading straight home.

She was met by a disapproving mom at the bakery's front counter. Apparently Ms. Bustier had called the bakery to report Marinette for talking back and then vanishing for an hour. In her newly relaxed state, though, Marinette was able to clearly tell her mom what had happened- what Chloe had done, what Marinette had said, Ms. Bustier's response, and Marinette's response to that and her decision to take some time to herself to calm down so that she wouldn't get akumatized.

(She didn't tell her mom that she had magically left the city, though. That would have been hard to explain.)

Needless to say, Mrs. Cheng was still ticked, but this time her ire was aimed at Ms. Bustier.

"If you can tell your dad to send someone out to man the counter for ten minutes, I think I'd like to call your teacher back and have some words with her," Mrs. Cheng told Marinette, her jaw tense. "I understand it must be intimidating to have the mayor's daughter in her class, but that's no excuse to not at least try to correct Chloe's behavior and to punish others instead. I had no idea that it had gotten so bad, but if that's the response that Chloe gets from the teachers when she acts up, it's shouldn't be a surprise that she's gotten worse." She huffed. "And it's not like her father is the president. Mayors hardly have that much power over the school system."

"Has your mom gone over to the school to talk to them before?" Tikki asked as Marinette practically skipped up the stairs to make her lunch. "It sounded like she really meant business."

Marinette shook her head. "No. I think they figured that the teachers must be giving out punishments behind the scenes, instead of interrupting class. After all, when they were growing up, their teachers would punish the bullies and support the bullied, not- not the other way around."

"And now they're really realizing what's truly going on," Tikki finished. She landed on the counter, watching Marinette as she started pulling out the ingredients for a toasted sandwich. "And I... Marinette, I've come to the realization that I have behaved somewhat poorly myself recently."

Marinette nearly banged her head on the counter door in her rush to straighten up and stare at Tikki. "I- what are you talking about, Tikki? You haven't behaved badly at all."

Tikki shook her head. "But I have! It's been rare for the stakes to be so high, like they are now. Most times when we're battling an opponent, it's perfectly fine for my wielders to get angry or upset or frustrated- and they should! It's frustrating to have to set aside your normal life to deal with threats! People argue and get upset! My Chosens tend to be like you, where they're big advocates for justice and what's right, and it's frustrating and upsetting when something isn't fair or just and you can't do anything about it!" Tikki took a deep breath before pressing on. "And this time, it's not safe to do that, not with Nooroo's powers on the other side. Nooroo has only been taken once before, and that was only for a short while."

There was a pause as Tikki composed her thoughts, and then she pressed on before Marinette could interrupt. What she had to say was important, after all, and she didn't want it to go left unsaid.

"I worry- no, I know- that I have gone too far with my focus on that danger. It's important, sure, but Ladybug is not an emotionless robot. You have trials and troubles of your own, and they are valid. You shouldn't feel like Marinette's troubles are less important than Ladybug's, and I- I think I was pushing it to that point. Looking back, there have been far too many times when you were upset about something perfectly understandable and valid, and instead I focused entirely on you needing to put those emotions aside because Ladybug can't get akumatized. Which is still true, but I could have been more understanding in my approach."

"I understand-" Marinette started, but Tikki held up a paw. This wasn't the time for Marinette to be endlessly forgiving, brushing transgressions from small to large under the rug with a gracious smile. Some things had to faced, and this was one of them.

"It is easier now, of course, with the option to escape and emote as much as is needed, to get upset and face that. But I- I have lived for eons. I know that it's not healthy to let emotions stay bottled up, and yet that's what I was encouraging! Maybe you wouldn't have been able to have the kind of breakdown that you did today, but I could have been more proactive about thinking up other solutions! And I don't want you to argue with me about that," Tikki added, because she knew Marinette and she knew Marinette would. "It's just- my promise to you is that from now on, I will do my best to do better. I will do better. Ladybug is important, but I can't let myself lose sight of Marinette in the process."

  Clearly having Mrs. Cheng give a piece of her mind to the school had had an impact. Marinette didn't know what her mom had said to her teacher, but Ms. Bustier had stopped cutting Marinette off entirely when she was standing up to Chloe (and Lila, too, which was interesting), instead cutting off the fight when the other person was trying to argue back. There were no more remember-you-need-to-set-an-example looks, either, which was a relief.

Still, it was early yet, and her teachers' behavior wasn't the only thing that could make Marinette upset.

Marinette's second trip out to the countryside happened about a week after the first one, and had been more of a precaution than removing herself from any actual danger. Alya had been gushing about one of Lila's most recent lies and then had gotten annoyed at Marinette's refusal to eat lunch at school so that she could "get to know" Lila better so that she "could stop being jealous". It was something that happened so often that all Marinette really felt at that was annoyance, but, well, it was their lunch hour and it was nice to be able to sit in a meadow of flowers over a gorgeous mountain lake and freely express her frustrations with Alya's Lila obsession to Tikki and Kaalki.

Besides, the amazing view was really calming and inspiring, and Marinette returned to Paris a whole lot more relaxed and refreshed than she had left it.

"Okay, so normally I would frown upon unnecessary use of a Miraculous, but I think I might need to reassess my definition of unnecessary," Tikki admitted as Marinette packed her backpack for afternoon classes. "I feel a lot better after having that break, and I can tell that you do, too. I'm not saying that we should hop out to the countryside every day, but I don't think anyone will really mind it if you don't just use it for emergencies."

"We'll call it general mental health improvements," Marinette said with a giggle. "And I don't think Kaalki will complain- she was playing in the flowers as much as you were!"

Tikki giggled as well, looking far more like the cheerful, positive kwami that Marinette had gotten to know at the start of their time together than she had been recently. "A break is really nice. And you have the akuma alerts on your phone, so we can get back to Paris in a moment if we're needed."

Marinette tried not to look too amused. Clearly Tikki had really liked getting out of Paris. She wasn't going to complain, though, because it was really, really nice to be able to get away from things for a bit and not have to always be monitoring herself and her emotions. Away from Hawkmoth's akumas, Marinette could get frustrated and yell and actually face her emotions and come away stronger for it.

She hadn't come up with any long-term solutions, not yet. Marinette had tried the obvious- calling out Lila's lies, trying to bring the obvious contradictions and falsehoods to Alya's attention, straight-up questioning if Alya had done any verification of facts- and none of them had worked. But she was still trying.

Trips three and four- well, they were pretty similar to trip number two, where Marinette could have moved past her feelings but had appreciated the ability to actually grumble and vent first and besides, it was easy enough to grab her lunch and vanish off to the mountains or a forest for an hour to eat. Trip five was mostly just because Marinette had an entire Saturday where she didn't have anywhere that she needed to be, because the girl squad was hanging out with Lila, and it was so much easier to get her homework done without distractions when she was hanging out in a field instead of sitting at her desk, surrounded by projects and books and magazines that she had yet to read.

Trip six for much the same reason was interrupted by an akuma that had Marinette rushing to return to Paris, and trip seven was really just an extension of the sixth trip because she had forgotten to gather up all of her school things in her hurry to get back to Paris.

"Your energy has improved," Master Fu commented when Marinette headed over to his apartment for a lesson. He was smiling as he ushered her in. "Has having the Horse Miraculous helped, then?"

"Very much, Master Fu," Marinette assured him. She ducked her head, finally feeling a bit sheepish for the first time. Since Tikki and Kaalki had both been fine with and had even encouraged hopping out of the city to relax in the countryside, even when Marinette wasn't actually all that upset, she had maybe taken advantage of the Horse's powers a bit. While Marinette had certainly felt better ever since she had started escaping Paris and relaxing under the trees, surrounded by birdsong, it probably wasn't quite what the old Guardian had had in mind when he gave her the Horse Miraculous to use. "It's nice to be able to get out of the city and be able to actually face my emotions instead of shoving them away."

"And we've found that just relaxing out in the countryside helps out a lot, too," Tikki added, floating out of Marinette's purse and looking as sheepish as Marinette felt. "Even if, uh, nothing in particular happened. Or if it was just something small."

Master Fu considered them and Marinette watched him, suddenly anxious. Was she going to get scolded for misusing a Miraculous? She doubted that he would take the Horse Miraculous away from her, since it was so important that she not get akumatized and that was their best way to prevent that right now, but it was very possible that she would have to seriously cut back on the number of trips she took outside of the city. But what if he did decide that she hadn't been responsible enough with the second Miraculous and took it away and-

"I don't see any problem with that," Master Fu said at last. "There are parts of me, of course, that disagree. After all, I had the instruction to never use the Miraculous for anything except things like battle and healing drilled into me during my time at the temple and, well, what happened there only drove the message in deeper. But there are many ways to consider health, both mental and physical, and if leaving the city to do your homework in the countryside helps ease your burden and clear your mind... well, Kaalki doesn't mind, or she would have said something. And I assume that you would have told me if she had said something."

"Kaalki likes it," Tikki assured him hastily. "She's been encouraging it, even! We've been researching different places, because she so likes exploring- not outside of France, because we don't want weird charges coming up on Marinette's phone bill, but cool places in France that are away from people enough that no one will see the portal."

Marinette just nodded, relieved. She had been so, so worried that he would think that she was abusing her powers, but if Master Fu thought that her less-than-necessary trips out of Paris were okay, then...well, Marinette wasn't going to question it too much. They had been making her feel better for sure, and the landscapes that she was seeing...

Well, Paris was inspiring, there was no doubt about that. The gardens and skylines and architecture and history and shops and general fashion were all a huge source of inspiration for Marinette, but they could only go so far. Streams and meadows and forests and waterfalls and mountains...

It was a new environment, really, a break from Marinette's normal, and now she was itching to create a tank top or a dress that would flow like her new favorite little stream. And maybe traditional florals weren't exactly Marinette's thing, but flower-inspired embroidery or watercolor patterning could be.

"So I would continue as you are," Master Fu told Marinette. "Obviously the most ideal situation would be for you to not need to leave Paris in order to not become akumatized, but if eliminating the source of your stress is proving too difficult or you simply find that you relax better outside of Paris, then that is understandable."

Marinette nodded, exchanging an excited look with Tikki. Now that they had their permission, she wouldn't feel vaguely guilty anymore every time that she used Voyage when she didn't need to. If Master Fu thought that it was okay and even healthy for her to leave the city regularly, then that was all the permission she needed.

And just like that, the burden on her shoulders eased a little bit more.

  Plagg could tell that Ladybug's mood had improved dramatically over the past couple of weeks, despite things at school not really changing that much, as far as he could tell. Once he talked to Tikki, the reason became obvious.

Letting Ladybug hop outside of the city using Voyage to let off a bit of steam? Genius. And it sounded like Ladybug was using the Horse just for fun, too, just to relax, which... well, she deserved it. Also, it was about time Tikki let up on her insufferable gotta-be-all-about-duty, no-fun-allowed attitude.

But that wasn't the point or even a concern at the moment, because his kid's father had pushed too much, demanded too much, and then was far too cold to Adrien over a very small mistake. That had gotten Adrien frustrated and overwhelmed and upset, and now he was in serious danger of getting akumatized.

Ladybug couldn't get herself akumatized, because then there would be no one to purify the akuma. She was crazy tactical on top of that, and even Master Fu pulling in all of their backups probably wouldn't be able to match her sheer brainpower and creativity when it came to fighting and setting traps. And if she couldn't get her Miraculous safely sent off with Tikki before the akuma took over, then there was the possibility that Hawkmoth might get the Ladybug Miraculous. That was bad.

But Adrien- Chat Noir- getting akumatized would be bad, too. Ladybug relied on her partner a lot, even if Adrien sometimes didn't realize it, and she had never fought him properly. Whenever he was being controlled by an akuma's powers, his fighting was a bit held back. It was muted. There was still him somewhere in there, subconsciously holding back just enough that Ladybug could get that opening she needed. If he was akumatized...

That subconscious hold-back would be overridden. On top of that, Adrien's guilt at getting akumatized...

He already felt bad enough when he couldn't make an akuma attack because he legitimately had no way to get away from his civilian duties, or when he got hit by an akuma's powers and couldn't be there fighting by Ladybug's side. Plagg didn't even want to think about how bad Adrien would feel if he got akumatized.

Which meant that right now, Adrien either needed to be calmed down really fast or removed from the situation entirely before an akuma could find him. Plagg didn't want to take over Tikki's previous role as Kwami of Repressing Emotions, which meant that he needed to go for the second option. Which meant that they needed Ladybug to use the Hose's portal to get Chat Noir out of Paris, ASAP.

So Plagg focused all of his energy and attention inwards for a minute, sending an urgent message to Tikki to have her and her horse-ed up Chosen come to the Eiffel Tower ASAP and to Voyage Chat Noir off to the countryside immediately. As soon as the message went through and Tikki sent back an affirmation, Plagg spun back around on Plagg.

"Up, up, transform and get to the Eiffel Tower now," Plagg demanded, tapping Adrien's shoulder. If they didn't move and Hawkmoth wasn't out of town, he had no doubt that they would be seeing a purple butterfly soon enough. "C'mon kid, up."

Adrien rolled over from where he was lying face-down on his bed and regarded Plagg. "Is there an akuma?"

"No, but you gotta get out of Paris before any butterflies come after you and Ladybug's got the Horse. C'mon, she's on her way, let's go!"

Thankfully, Adrien didn't protest any further. He transformed and ran for the Eiffel Tower, just barely landing on one of the upper beams when he was tackled from the side, off of the tower and through a portal. He and Ladybug landed in a bit of a tangle in a meadow bordering a forest, and for once Chat Noir didn't get distracted by their position, rolling off of Ladybug at once and making a dash for the trees. Once he was in a ways, he detransformed.

"You can go hang out with Ladybug," Adrien told Plagg once the kwami spiraled free. His voice sounded a bit choked. "I just- I need a moment to myself."

"Of course." Plagg hesitated a moment, then zipped back out towards the light. Horse-bug was still in the middle, her back against a large, rounded boulder. She had already pulled out a notebook and was working on homework, it looked like, or at least she was trying to. The concerned looks that she kept sending the trees probably made it a bit difficult to actually get any work done.

"'Sup, Horsefly!" Plagg said cheerfully, zipping around the rock and perching on Ladybug's shoulder. She startled but, to her credit, didn't immediately start screaming or scramble away. "Whatcha up to?"

Ladybug's glare was positively poisonous. "Horsefly?"

"Yeah! 'Cause you've got the Horse Miraculous, and flies are bugs, right? And normally you're Ladybug, so..."

Her expression went flat. "I'm setting Tikki on you. And you're not getting any cheese bread. Ever."

Plagg blinked, then promptly went backpedaling. "It was just a joke! It's not like I've been calling you that regularly or anything, ha-ha, that would be dumb, I definitely wouldn't do that. And that name wouldn't fit anyway, you're very refined and elegant and everything and horseflies aren't at all, so, uh, yeah! Just a joke, don't set Tikki on me, please don't withhold the cheese bread, you're fantastic!"

Ladybug did Not Look Impressed. Plagg...supposed that he couldn't blame her. Before he could make another stab at smoothing things over- he didn't want to lose his access to Marinette's cheese bread before he could even get it- a rather feral scream ripped out of the woods. The two of them startled, whipping around to stare at the trees. After a moment, though, Ladybug let out a snort of laughter.

"I did exactly the same thing when I first came out here," she admitted, settling back against the rock and releasing the Horse portion of her transformation. Classy glasses perched on top of her nose, and she pushed them up onto the top of her head. "Just screamed and screamed until I went hoarse to let all of the stress out. It builds up so, so much, more than I realized. And then once I could just scream my head off..."

Humans had strange stress relief mechanisms, Plagg decided, but he supposed Ladybug's reasoning made some sort of sense. He had seen Adrien scream into his pillow a couple of times to blow off a little steam before, and this was, well, a lot of steam.

"I can see why you pick spots that aren't near any hiking trails or roads," Plagg commented as another muffled scream made its way through the trees. It didn't sound scared or in pain, though, so he figured that Adrien was still doing fine. Physically, at least. "I think you might alarm some people with the screaming. I'm surprised that my kid isn't trying to muffle it, actually, he's usually the sort to suffer in silence when people who aren't me are there." The I was worried that he would be worried about you judging him went unsaid.

Plagg knew that Ladybug wouldn't judge Chat Noir, of course. They were partners and Ladybug could sympathize with too many expectations and scream-inducing stress, obviously, since she had the Horse Miraculous for this exact reason. But Adrien tended to hold his cards close to his chest even with his friends, which, considering his father, wasn't really a surprise. Plagg had seen Mr. Agreste shut down his son's feelings too often to really feel any surprise when Adrien put on his poker face even in front of his friends, opting for the path of least resistance instead of pushing back in any way.

"I could tell that he was upset," Ladybug said after a pause, her voice quiet. "I mean, he was practically screaming it with every line of his body. And...there was an akuma headed for him, when he was on the Eiffel Tower. I got it and purified it before it could make contact and so that it wouldn't fly off and get someone else when we vanished, but that- it was just way too close."

That was too close. Maybe Plagg could get his kid to join Ladybug on her more regular excursions to the countryside to get some relaxation and regular tree-screaming in. That wouldn't solve the problem of Adrien just having an awful father, but it might buy them enough breathing room to be able to not attract an akuma the next time that Gabriel Agreste was an awful person.

Or maybe he should say the next time that Gabriel Agreste was an outstandingly awful person. After all, the elder Agreste's baseline state of being seemed to be awful.

"It wasn't a great day," Plagg admitted. "And I'm not going to over-share, 'cause my kid would get mad at me and I don't want him to start hiding his emotions from me, too, but he would probably benefit from getting out of Paris every so often, too." He snorted, derisive. "If his handlers allow any time in his schedule, that is."

Ladybug looked troubled at that, which probably meant that Plagg had said too much in his annoyance with Adrien's father. Hopefully she wouldn't poke at that too much, at least not when Chat Noir was around.

"I have a friend who always seems to have things scheduled," Ladybug said, and Plagg tried not to react because, uh, that was his kid. Ladybug was getting a little too close to the truth for comfort. "Even when he has a gap in his schedule, whenever he tries to fit in something with us, his father schedules something for him instead. I'm honestly amazed that he's not been akumatized over that, because it has to be upsetting."

"Uh-huh," Plagg said, because what else could he say? Then his ears perked, pointing towards the woods. The screaming had stopped, which probably meant that Adrien had gotten the anger out of his system and had moved on to sadness, which also meant that Plagg should go check in on him and help Adrien work through his feelings. Which admittedly wasn't exactly his strong point, so... "Say, how has Tikki been recently? Still trying to get you to see everyone else's point of view, or...?"

Thankfully, Ladybug shook her head. "We've come to an understanding that there's a time and place for that, and it's not when I'm upset about something. We still talk about other people's points of view, of course, because understanding where people are coming from can help create long-term solutions, but it's not an excuse for their behavior and doesn't invalidate my feelings."

"Fantastic. Can you detransform, then, so Tikki and I can go talk with my kid?" Plagg asked hopefully. "I'm not very good at the talking stuff, really, and playing comic relief only goes so far."

"Of course!" Ladybug detransformed in a flash of pink sparkles, then settled back against the rock. "Take your time. I'm not needed anywhere, and I want my kitty feeling his best. It's really helped me to come out here, and it would be great if Chat Noir gets to have that, too. "

"Thank you, Ladybug!" Plagg told her, grabbing Tikki's paw and tugging her along towards the forest. "You're fantastic!"

Hopefully he and Tikki could help Adrien work through some of his frustrations and misery. Plagg hated to see his Chosens upset, and Plagg didn't want to see Adrien akumatized, either. It would be best, of course, if Gabriel Agreste just vanished off of the face of the earth with Hawkmoth not far behind him, but barring that happening, Plagg would have to content himself with just getting Adrien happy and in a healthier place mentally. The improvement that Ladybug had made recently was incredible, and if both superheroes were doing better, Plagg suspected that that would result in exponentially happier superheroes.

After all, a happy, rested, relaxed superhero was a focused superhero, and a focused superhero meant that their partner wouldn't be forced to pick up the slack in order to keep fighting, and that meant a less stressed partner and a stronger partnership. On top of that, if the superheroes were spending more time together outside of battles in a relaxed environment, then maybe they would be clear-headed enough to come up with plans for taking down Hawkmoth for good.

Maybe Plagg still didn't understand the whole screaming at the trees thing, but, well, if that could get Paris' superheroes back to their old, relatively relaxed and not-at-risk selves, then he wouldn't question it.

[lumosinlove]

Vaincre

part iii

cw: brief, non-graphic mention of injury and medical assistance

~

September

Only blue talk and love

Remember

How we knew love was here to stay

Summer hadn’t truly felt over until Remus saw Regulus standing in the airport, bags checked for New York and backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Well,” Regulus said, shifting a little between his feet. “Here goes.”

Remus laughed. “It’s going to be amazing, Reg.”

“Maybe. Hopefully.”

“It will,” Sirius said. “But if you need anything we’re…what? A four hour drive?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah, you can call.”

Regulus huffed out a laugh. “You two sound like worried parents.”

Sirius laughed, too. “I’m just glad we know what those sound like now.”

Regulus’ expression shifted, tightening. He nodded, seemed to hang in hesitation for a moment, and then walked forward two steps and threw his arms around Sirius. Sirius froze, too, with his hands in his pockets, and then wrapped his little brother up tight.

“It’s not your fault, you know,” Remus heard Regulus murmur softly. “I don’t really think you left me there. With them.”

Sirius made an indistinguishable sound, and Remus took a step back, giving them space and not sure if he was fighting tears or a smile. He used to just think about how he could kill Sirius and Regulus’ parents if he had the chance, but now, seeing how far the brothers had come, he wasn’t sure they were worth the time at all.

“Come home sometimes, okay?” Sirius said. “D’accord?”

“Ouais,” Regulus said.

They pulled apart slowly, both a little bright-eyed. Sirius laughed wetly, wiping his face.

“And make good friends.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow. “I think that’s supposed to be good choices.”

Sirius reached out for Remus’ hand. “Good friends are good choices.”

“Ah,” Regulus hitched his pack farther up his shoulder. “Of course.”

“Call when you get there, too,” Remus cut in. “My mom would definitely want me to say that.”

Regulus waved them off. “Okay, that’s enough parenting. I’m going now.”

Sirius held Remus’ hand tight as they watched Regulus go through security and then disappear with a wave, sliding his headphones on. He let out a long, unsteady breath.

“Merde.”

“Love ya,” Remus smiled, reaching up to wipe a tear from Sirius’ cheek.

Sirius glanced down at him. “He’s going to be fine.”

“He is,” Remus nodded.

“He forgives me.”

“No,” Remus said. “He told you that you never did anything wrong.”

Sirius let out another tearful laugh, sniffing. “Right. You’re right.”

Remus pushed up on his toes to kiss his cheek. “Wanna get dinner?”

“Ouais. That sounds perfect.”

They wandered the summer soft streets, cooled by the evening and by approaching September. Remus was torn between being ready to let summer go, and never wanting it to end at the same time.

~

It’s good to hear a packed Hogwarts Stadium again, huh, Dean? Even if just for a preseason game against our New York Rangers neighbors.

Right, Lee? I love this post-summer feeling, and I know our Lions do, too. Especially excited to see what our new talent has to offer. This’ll be fan’s first glimpse at Lupin and Reyes, our two…well, I suppose rookie wouldn’t be quite as perfect a word for Lupin as it is for Reyes. We’re used to Lupin’s face around here, huh.

That we are. Not used to seeing what is rumored to be some very quick feet on him, though. As far as testing went, that is.

Right, the bike test. As well as strength. Who knows. This could be building up to a very interesting season.

Remus stared up at the TV mounted on the wall as he peddled slowly on the stationary bike, keeping his legs warm. He felt bizarre, and had been dodging any type of media to avoid having to talk about it. He was dreading post-game. Every time he tried to think of something to say, his mind went blank.

I’m happy to be here.

I never thought I would be here.

The other half of his brain was trying to compute that it wouldn’t just be the preseason, practice scrimmages he was used to. It wouldn’t just been his team, his friends, out there. Not that it would be a full fledged game, either. No one looked to crushing blows during a preseason game. It was about getting warm. Remus was thankful for it. He didn’t know how he was going to feel when he put his jersey on. When he stepped out onto the ice. He had been nervous enough for the fitness testing.

“You’re literally the fastest guy here,” Finn had said after he’d gotten off of the bike—with the highest score. It had made him feel better, but he knew he wouldn’t really be settled until until coach called his name from the line card.

“Loops,” Logan said, swinging onto the bike beside him. “I keep running into you.”

Remus smiled. “Looks like we having similar warm-up routines.”

“Apparemment,” Logan nodded, turning up the resistance. “Nervous?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah. I am.”

Logan nodded, but stayed quiet and Remus was thankful. Everyone tried to talk him out of it, Sirius included, and he loved them for that, but at the same time, this was nice, too.

“Me too, sort of,” Logan said, and they traded a smile before looking back up at the Gryffindor pre-game show.

“All right,” Coach Arthur Weasley clapped his hands and gestured to the side of the room where the assistant coaches and staff were standing. The whole locker room was flooded with energy of all kinds—nervous, excited—and it flowed through those not in uniform, too. “We all know Moody. We all know our coaches. Mason, Alexandra, and Dan. We all know our PTs—should I say new PTs—“ there were some laughs. “Lars and Layla.”

“Double-Ls,” Thomas whooped.

Layla gave two thumbs up, and Lars remained stoic, arms crossed. He hadn’t said much since arriving aside from the occasional wise-cracking joke delivered without a trace of a smile.

“Who’s captain serious now, eh?” Thomas leaned in to whisper, and Remus suppressed a smile, glancing at Sirius—who was wearing an almost equally focused expression on his face, completely still where he sat a few stalls down, past Thomas and James. Remus glanced around the locker room, down the crescent-shaped row. Kasey and Leo, on opposite ends, were both geared up. Finn and Leo were sharing AirPods. Remus knew Kasey had worked hard over the summer, rehabbing his thigh, strengthening and increasing flexibility. He knew Leo was happy to be his back-up, but part of him wondered what Leo thought about all the games he had played in the play-offs, only to be placed right back on the bench now. It happened to a lot of guys—some were called up for injury, only to be sent right back down to the farm team when injuries healed. But Remus thought it was different for goalies. He hoped Coach wouldn’t leave Leo sitting on the bench for too long.

“Who’s calling first line?” Coach asked, and held the card out to Sirius. “Cap?”

Remus didn’t realize until the cheers broke out that he could be loud with the rest of them, and gave his stall a few bangs as Sirius rose, hat keeping his hair back. His eyes found Remus’ briefly once had turned towards them with the card, and Remus’ breath caught at his beaming grin.

“Okay, boys, first line,” Sirius said. “We’ve got Pots.”

Clap.

“Tremzy.”

Thomas drum-rolled his stall.

Sirius smiled. “Myself.”

Finn put two fingers in his mouth and whistled.

“And on D, Olli and Timmy.”

While the boys burst into chatter again, Remus watched Sirius hand the card back to Coach, and caught his eye again, raising an eyebrow. Sirius held up Thomas’ number, and Jackson’s. Remus nodded to himself. That could be the third or fourth line, and he’d played well with both of them in scrimmages. It made sense. He could work with that.

And it meant he’d get to watch Sirius out there. At least that wouldn’t change.

“All right,” Coach laughed, putting his glasses back on and turning towards the other coaches. “Get dressed, get dressed.”

Remus had sat in his stall quite a few times by now. For his promo-pictures at the beginning of the summer—the first time he had slipped his jersey on, too, right over his suit and tie. But sitting in it now, strapping his pads over his bare chest before a game, a game where he would be up against other NHL players…that was different.

“You’re one of those?” Thomas snorted, flicking Remus’ bare ribs. “Doesn’t the velcro scratch?”

Remus laughed. “Can’t break old habits.”

Thomas raised an eyebrow. “Or is now the perfect time to make new ones.”

“Not after a year like the last,” Remus said.

“Oh,” Thomas whistled, yanking the laces of his skates tight. “You’re that superstitious.”

“I try not to be,” Remus stood. “But playing again…seems to bring it out in me.”

Remus turned to step into his pants, adjusting the pads and his jock until everything fit together comfortably. He eyed his jersey, the number six hanging proudly on a hanger, and he smiled to himself but turned to his skates next. The jersey sent his heart leaping into his throat. He’d save it for last.

“Let’s go boys,” Pascal called, standing by the door to bump fists and pat helmets on their way out.

Remus laced up his skates, pulling them tight over his taped up socks, and then, finally, removed his jersey from its hook. He didn’t waste time staring down at it. That would just make him overthink and, hopefully, he’d have many times to put this jersey on again.

It slid over his shoulder pads, he tucked in the back, and grabbed his helmet.

“I like that Loops is just over there grinning to himself,” Finn snorted as he left for the tunnel.

Remus shrugged, eyes finding Sirius. He already looked like his mind was on the ice, even for such a low stakes game.

“You know,” Remus said as the team started to file down the tunnel. “I used to go last.”

Sirius’ intense eyes lightened into a softer gray. He shifted from one skate to another. “Oh? I don’t know if I knew that.”

Remus tilted his head, smile playing at one corner of his mouth. “Well? What are we gonna do?”

Sirius just stared at him. “I… I go last.”

Remus let out his laughter, leaning up to tap their helmets together. He vaguely heard a camera flash go off, and smiled. He wanted that picture.

“You should have seen your face, baby,” he whispered, and grabbed his stick from the rack before catching up to James.

He heard Sirius splutter out a laugh—and there was definitely some relief in there—and follow.

The sounds of the crowd in Hogwarts stadium only grew louder. Remus could feel Sirius close behind him.

“Ready, mon loup?” he asked quietly, just before the tunnel opened up to the lights.

Remus didn’t know if Sirius heard his yes over the roar of the team’s entry into a sea of red and gold, but then feet were on the ice he was doing a lap, the Rangers at the other end.

On opening night, Remus knew he would be taking this lap alone, along with Cole. A rookie’s first official NHL game. It felt surreal to think about. He couldn’t knock the feeling that he was too old for that—but he knew plenty of guys did it at his age. You didn’t have to be eighteen.

He picked up a puck and headed towards the goal, trying to decide if it would help to block out the noise, or let it overtake him. The boys were dialed in. Remus glanced over at Sirius, feeling strangely bare without him by his side. But he was over by center ice, tracing the Lion printed there—as usual. Remus didn’t want to seem favored. He didn’t want to seem clingy. They weren’t a couple out here, he knew that. They were teammates.

He shot at Kasey, who caught his puck in his glove, and began the wrap-around again before pushing backwards around the outside of the goal, as he always used to. He’d done his routine a few times at the beginning of practices, but it was nothing compared to being surrounded by a crowd—a bigger crowd than he’d ever actually played in front of before.

Kasey tapped a puck at him once he reached his first post, and he laughed, shooting it back until a sign waving at the glass caught his eye. It was held by a kid, maybe around Julian’s age.

I want a signed stick the ReMOST, Lupin!

Remus laughed at the kid’s wide eyes when he saw that he was looking, and gave him a thumbs up the best he could with his gloves on before holding up his stick.

“One second,” he called over the crowd.

When he got to the bench, Sirius was there stretching, holding out an already uncapped sharpie.

And looks like Lupin’s heading over to sign that young man a stick. I bet that’s a good feeling after—oh! Black’s got a pen ready for him.

Remus shoved a glove under his arm and took it. “You saw the sign?”

“I got the kid down to the glass,” Sirius grinned.

“I love you,” Remus said as he scribbled his signature, complete with the jersey number that players always included.

It took two tries to get the stick successfully over the glass, but for the look on the boy’s face, Remus would have tried twenty.

“Feels good, eh?” James said once the horn blew for warmups and they were settled onto the bench.

“Too good,” Remus said.

“First line,” Coach called, slapping his calling card against his palm. “12, 10, 7, let’s go. Olli, Tims, on D.”

Sirius sent him a quick smile, and Remus spun his stick in front of him. “Let’s go, Captain.”

Sirius snorted, rolling his eyes as he pushed away from the boards towards center ice, where Zibanejad was waiting.

Good to see that sort of…what would you call it, Dean, from Black?

Light energy, I think, Lee. Sirius is well known around the league for his intensity.

Right. Nice to see Lupin getting a smile out of him before what is most probably a season that holds more pressure than usual for the Lions, after a Cup year.

One of Black’s coaches once said in an interview that the only thing Sirius feels after scoring a goal is pressure to score another. Ha, sounds about right.

Remus all but held his breath when the ref dropped the puck. Sirius stole it back for James who nicked it over to Logan. Logan sped it into the neutral zone, narrowly avoiding Lafrenière.

“Bulky kid,” Finn said from beside Remus.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Logan?”

“Well—yeah, but nah, Lafrenière,” Finn nodded. “Built like a tree, what is he, nineteen? Crazy. I didn’t look like that when I was nineteen.”

“Well,” Remus said as the whistle blew for an icing on the Rangers. “People are comparing him to Crosby.”

“Kuny,” Coach called. “Lupin, Nado.”

Remus’ initial thought was surprise. The shock of being put out with the second line carried him somewhat numbly over the boards beside Evgeni and Jackson. He didn’t have time to look at Sirius take his place on the bench.

“Hey,” Evgeni said, drawing them in with a glove over his mouth so the Rangers filing out of their bench couldn’t read their lips. “I take Lindgren. Loops, go fast, okay? Nado get you puck.”

“Fox,” Jackson warned.

“Sergei take care,” Evgeni said like it was obvious, and loomed towards the face-off circle.

“Left side,” Remus said to Jackson before they parted. “I’ll try to shake Kravtsov.”

“Nice,” Jackson nodded.

Remus and Kravtsov shared a nod as they lined up shoulder to shoulder on the centerline.

“Welcome to the NHL,” Kravtsov said with a slight smile.

“Thanks,” Remus replied.

Kravtsov was so young. All of these guys were so young.

He couldn’t help feeling like time had been stolen from him.

Have you ever seen this many Russian players in one NHL game, Dean? Pretty nice to see. And here’s Lupin’s first shift. Let’s go.

The puck dropped and Remus gave Kravtsov a shove, spinning out and around him. His heart seemed to press the sound out of his ears until all he could hear was his own breathing. Evgeni won the face off.

“Kuns!” Jackson shouted, and Evgeni passed it to him deep in their own zone. It drew Fox forward, just as Remus knew it was meant to, but Sergei was there for Jackson to derail the puck. Fox was forced to turn around, Kravtsov was made to press forward for a pass, and it left Remus free to shoot into their defense zone. Strome tried to cross him, but Remus spun around him. Sergei and Jackson tried to get it to him, but it left the zone. Remus swore as he pushed hard to touch up the neutral zone.

“6, 58, 86, off, Reyes, O’Hara, LeBlanc, on!”

Remus pulled back to the bench, sending Cole a nod as he hopped over the boards for his first NHL shift. Remus’ shift had been thirty seconds that felt like ten, but he was breathing hard. Finn followed Cole with a tap to his back, promptly stole the puck from Chytil, and slapped it into the corner of the Rangers’ goal.

Remus had barely taken a drink of water when the goal horn blared Gryffindor’s roar filled Hogwarts Stadium.

He punched Sirius’ side, who had his arms raised. Sirius laughed from beside him as they settled onto the bench beside each other.

“Ouch,” Sirius rubbed his padding.

“I don’t know, I got excited,” Remus laughed.

They held his gloves out for Finn to tap as he came down the line, the goal song blaring, the crowd chanting along to the catchy drumbeat.

“Nice solo, Harz,” Remus called, and Finn grinned.

“Thanks, Rookie.”

It remained pretty even through the first and second. Panarin had three good chances, the fourth sailing past Kasey’s glove. Sirius scored a dirty wrap-around just before the second’s buzzer, and Remus didn’t think he’d ever like anything more than getting the full force of Sirius’ smile as he tapped gloves down the bench line. No sooner had the final face-off of the period set up than were Evgeni and Lindgren going at it, hands gripping the back of each other’s jerseys as they dropped their gloves. Gryffindor would start the third one man up.

Remus filed back down the tunnel towards the locker room, smiling at Layla as he dropped his gloves in the bucket she was holding to be dried. He felt warm, his muscles used and a little sore. He longed for an ice bath, but he wanted to use them more too. It was the most familiar feeling in the word. He smiled against it as he sat down in his stall, laughing lightly at the way Evgeni threw a wet towel over his head.

“Not skate enough over the summer,” Evgeni groaned.

Remus looked up when a shadow fell over him and was greeted by two hands on his cheeks and a warm, familiar kiss.

“J’adore,” Sirius said.

Remus laughed, holding his wrists where his pulse still high from the game.

“Nice goal.”

“Good to be back,” James said as he pushed his jersey over his head. “Crowd sounds amazing. How you doing, Reyes?”

Cole looked up from where he was re-taping his socks. “The crowd is amazing.”

Remus felt a slap on the back from Evgeni, towel around his neck now. “Good shift, rookie.”

“Kuns,” Remus sighed, and Evgeni just laughed teasingly.

Remus felt Sirius’ eyes on him throughout the entire intermission. He knew he was curious, and had been for months, about Remus’ game routine. He’d asked and asked over the summer, but that was the thing with Remus’ superstitions—he couldn’t talk about them.

Remus took two fresh sticks from his rack and sat back down. He began wrapping it steadily.

“Of course your tape job is perfect,” Thomas sighed, shaking his head. “Of course, of course.”

Remus laughed, ripping the tape with his teeth.

“Speak for yourself,” Jackson grinned, giving his stick a twirl, the tape warped and hurried.

Remus snorted. “All I see is a fucking candy cane.”

Power play. Lindgren went into the box, slamming the door a little too hard on his way.

“Black,” Coach called as the crowd shuffled into their seats, armed with food, and Remus had been expecting that. “Tremzy, Lupin, Fox, Sunny.”

Remus blinked. He hadn’t been expecting that.

Remus hopped the boards beside Sirius, and the stadium seemed to get louder. Sirius knocked their shoulders together, and Remus didn’t doubt the cameras were on them and he tried to control his expression. He didn’t want to look too pleased, or too dopy at the feeling of skating side by side with Sirius in front of a crowd.

I think this is the moment many of us have been waiting for, Dean.

You bet! I didn’t expect it to come so soon. Coach Weasley is trying out lots of different line combos tonight. What’s pre-season for? I hear Lupin’s played on the power play a few times in practice.

Sirius put his glove up by his mouth, holding his mouth guard.

“Try the double pass?” he said quickly.

“Yeah,” Remus nodded. “Let’s do it.”

Sirius bent down across from Zibanejad and the rest of the Rangers penalty kill unit.

It happened fast. Remus was used to seeing this from the bench—but maybe that was a good thing. He saw the ice as if through a wide lens, Sirius passed to Logan, and then it was on Remus’ stick to carry up. Remus blew out a breath, pushing his legs hard ahead of Panarin. He needed to get ahead, needed to stay parallel with Sirius. He felt Panarin scrape at his heels, but then Sirius was calling his name.

Shesterkin was still up and on his feet, reading to dive whichever way.

“Loup,” Sirius called, and it was as though it was only the two of them in the basement rink. Only the crowd was different, and absolutely roaring. 

Remus snapped the puck to Sirius, who passed it right back. Shesterkin went down when Remus pulled his stick back in a fake, only for him to give it back to Sirius to tap into wide open net.

Remus’ hands shot up, and the crowd screamed. Sirius all but slammed into him, wrapping him up tight against the boards.

“Re,” Sirius laughed through he words, pressing their helmets together. “Mon loup, mon loup—”

Logan crashed into them next, followed by Adam and Henrik. Remus found himself in the center of elated shouts, the fans pounding hands on the glass from the other side.

“Merde, it sounds like the playoffs,” Logan shouted, pressing a hand to Remus’ helmet.

Remus could only laugh, giddy, high on it all.

What a goal! Well, Lee, I don’t think we’re going to have to wait long to see this young man’s first regular season point.

~

“He fell for it,” Remus said for the tenth time as he handed Sirius the last of their dinner dishes. “Shesterkin fell for it.”

Sirius laughed and slid the dishes into the sink and turned, placing slightly damp hands on Remus’ cheeks.

“You are amazing,” he said, accent heavy and laced with a need that Remus had felt stirring in himself since getting off the ice. They’d been on the ice together today. They’d built a goal together, scored. Igor Shesterkin had fallen for their fake-out.

“I was so happy today,” Sirius whispered.

Remus closed his eyes, caught between the feeling of Sirius’ body colliding with his own in celebration, and the feeling of his warm hands here, now.

“It’s everything I’ve ever wanted,” Remus said softly, and opened his eyes, hands against Sirius’ chest.

What a terrifying, wonderful sentence.

Sirius just leaned in to kiss him, mouth tender and insistent. It was the same fire he had on the ice, leading Remus in a way that made his insides warm and his toes curl. Remus let Sirius guide him slowly up the stairs, and he relished in the way they stopped on the landing, on a half-way stair, just to be closer again, Remus’ mouth on his neck, Sirius’ against his temple. The hallway was dark, lit only by the nightlight they kept plugged in near their feet. It cast Sirius in warm angles as Remus tugged his shirt off and dropped it right there in the hallway.

“I’m not saying I’m not going to miss Regulus,” Remus said as Sirius bent to mouth gently against his neck. “But I’m not saying I’m not going to enjoy being able to undress you wherever I want now that we have the house to ourselves.”

Sirius’ laugh was soft, a little breathless. “Name your room, I’ll be there.”

Remus laughed, too. “Bedroom. Nice, soft bed.”

Sirius walked Remus backwards through the door, hands on his hips. “How do you feel? That was quite the race with Kreider in the second.”

“Good,” Remus nodded, but let Sirius’ strong hands dig into the muscles of his shoulders and back. He sighed into it, resting his cheek against his chest. “But I won’t say no to that.”

Sirius kissed Remus’ temple and worked his shirt over his head. He lay him down on the mattress and Remus closed his eyes at the feeling of Sirius’ lips against his neck, and then his shoulder.

Sirius kissed over the scar that Greyback had torn from Remus’ body all those years ago at their shared college, keeping Remus from a career in the NHL—at least until now.

“I wonder what he thinks,” Remus wondered aloud, and he didn’t have to explain himself for Sirius to know what he meant. Remus wound his fingers into Sirius dark hair as he looked up at him.

“Me too,” Sirius admitted. “And then I see red and have to stop thinking about it.”

Remus half-smiled. “Yeah…I felt bad at lunch those few weeks ago. With Cole. I really think he thought he said something wrong, and I wish I could explain but it’s still…it’s still like this weird secret, you know? Like people could find out if they really looked but no one has? And I don’t really want to bring it up but at the same time I know Fenrir has already spread lies. Saying it was a car crash or…who knows what. Sorry.” Remus pressed a hand to his face. “God, I’m completely killing the mood.”

“Re, hey,” Sirius pushed himself up onto his forearm, falling to the side and keeping their legs tangled.

“And it’s such a good mood, I just was thinking aloud.”

“You’re not. Talk to me. You can talk to me whenever.”

Remus ran his thumb over Sirius’ bottom lip. “Okay…yeah, I know that.”

“This was a big day,” Sirius said. “Huge for you. Of course you would be thinking about him. I used to think about my parents every time I stepped on the ice, even after things were getting better. I think…I think its just time. It takes time.”

“It was strange today,” Remus finally admitted. “I couldn’t…I didn’t know how close to you I could be. Out there, I mean. I’m your boyfriend, you’re mine, but we’re also teammates. There’s so much debate, about my place on the team and if you did something to get me there…I don’t know. I don’t want someone to accuse you of favoritism. You don’t deserve that.”

“We’re both,” Sirius said. “We’ll always be both. You’ll always be the boy I love. You’ll always be my teammate.” Sirius shrugged. “It doesn’t matter if we’re on the ice or not. And I don’t care if someone thinks I favor you. We both know I don’t. Not like that.”

Remus made a soft sound and pulled Sirius further on top of him, making him smile. “Love you.”

Sirius let Remus press slow kisses to his lips. “This mood feels pretty good to me.”

Remus just hushed him, tucking a hand into his waistband.

Sirius kissed him until Remus’ cheeks were hot and his cock was aching, pressed up against his sweatpants. Remus could still hear the Lions’ crowd rushing in his ears. Sirius’ palm cupped him and pushed his sweatpants down. They were both flushed and pink. Remus wanted to see those colors together.

He pulled Sirius’ hips against his own, discarding clothing until it was all bare skin. Remus ran his hands over the hard curves of his back. He had to squeeze his eyes shut, hooking his arms beneath Sirius’, holding onto his shoulders.

Their mouths found each other messily, dragging and half open in gasps.

“Sirius,” Remus breathed, voice higher than usual.

The adrenaline that Remus had thought had faded with the game only seemed to thrum brighter. Remus couldn’t help the smile the crossed his face, brows drawn together at the feeling of Sirius rutting against him.

Remus pressed his ankle gently to the back of Sirius’ knee and rolled them, drawing breathless laughs from both their mouths that he sealed away to keep like a love letter. It was soft mouths and hard hands, clutching each other closer, getting the most out of the warm friction. Remus swallowed Sirius’ gasps. His orgasm built up below his spine and Sirius seemed to read his mind. He reached between them with a hand, brushing a thumb at his base, pressing up. Remus’ hips stuttered and he fell apart, shoving hard against Sirius’ tight fist.

Sirius followed at the hot streak of Remus’ come between them, and they lay there, panting, foreheads together. Remus eased their hips back together, both of them letting out a soft moan, then a laugh, as the spent cocks brushed, drawing out the last tendrils of their orgasms.

“That feels good,” Sirius mumbled, head sunken back against the pillows.

Remus rolled his hips slowly, bringing them down, and then pulled his head up. He pushed Sirius’ sweaty hair back from his cheek and kissed it. 

“Communicate to score,” Sirius mumbled.

Remus laughed hard, squeezing his eyes shut, and dropped his face into his neck to catch his breath.

“It’s true,” Sirius said, running a warm palm up and down Remus’ back. “That article we looked at.”

They’d given in and read some press over dinner, laughing at some of the more excitable writers, and grinning at each other at the more serious ones.

Magnetism, one wrote. Feels like we’ve got some mind-readers on this team, a real Crosby-Malkin, Kane-Toews one-two-punch.

“Well,” Remus said, folding his arms across Sirius’ chest. “What am I thinking now?”

Sirius pressed his lips together, pretending to think. “Is it…how to get out of golf with James and the Cubs before the ring ceremony on Tuesday?”

Remus snorted. “Well, that’s definitely on my list. But nope.” He leaned in, brushing their mouths together. “That’s not it.”

Sirius grinned, and Remus sunk into how thick and sated his accent sounded. “Is it…will my handsome boyfriend please run me a bath and make me tea?”

Remus laughed into their next kiss. “Wow, that writer was right.”

~

It looks…maybe like a twisted knee? What do you think, Dean? Walker is definitely not making a move to get up—oh, there’s the medic. One of the Lions’ new staff members as, of course, someone had to take Lupin’s place. Ah, Walker is pointing to his foot now.

Man, is that a grimace if I ever saw one.

It sure is, Dean.

Here comes O’Hara to help out his teammate.

They were in Madison Square Garden, the Rangers giving them one hell of a re-match. Logan skated a close perimeter towards where Thomas had gone down, just between a line change.

“Shit,” Finn skated to a stop beside him. “It’s fucking pre-season. Did you see what happened?”

Logan shook his head. “Not really. Think it was just a bad fall. Strome looks sorry.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’re not jumping him right now.”

Logan’s mouth quirked up. “I have no interest in jumping Strome, thanks.” His eyes found Leo on the bench. With his hat flipped backwards, the intensity, the worry in of his blue eyes cut a clear path to Thomas.

“T,” Finn said, skating closer. “Need a hand to the room?”

Thomas winced as he made it to one knee. “Yeah, man, thanks.”

~

Thomas stared up at the dark ceiling from the padded PT table, listening to the game continue on the TV mounted to the corner of the ceiling. There was the X-ray pushed to the corner, his results pinned up on the light screen. Fracture. Minor, but it’d take weeks to heal. He’d miss the beginning of the season. He’d be in a suit when they lifted the Stanley Cup champion banner in the stadium. He missed Noelle.

The light flicked on so suddenly Thomas flinched.

“Walker,” said an unfamiliar voice. It was accented—Swedish, he thought. Thomas squinted at the speaker. He was tall, and dressed in the staff jacket he’d come to associate with Remus. Right. Lars.

“I…hey,” Thomas said. His eyes went to Layla, who gave a wave as she slipped in behind the man. “Hey, man, Lars, right?”

Lars gave a short nod. “Nice to meet you. So, you probably know the drill by now. Couple weeks. Aspirin will be fine for pain management.”

“Right,” Thomas nodded.

“We’ve got a boot for you here, but I’d take everything to a doctor, just for a second opinion. I’ll recommend someone,” he shrugged. “That was an unlucky hit. I’m sorry.”

Thomas blinked. He didn’t know someone could seem sweetly uninterested. He smiled hesitantly. “Thanks.”

Thomas snapped a picture of the boot once he strapped it on and sent it out complete with a frowning emoji.

He had just opened the door to the locker room, accompanied by his new crutches and to meet his victorious team, when his phone began to ring with a Facetime.

“T,” Noelle’s voice gasped. She was beautiful, her hair curling around her face. “Baby, I saw.”

“It’s not too bad,” Thomas said beneath the noise as the locker room filled up. “You look like you’re about to go somewhere, I can call back, I just wanted to…”

I’m just sad about it. It sounded lame in his own ears.

He cleared his throat. “Logan, say hi to your sister.”

Logan poked his head into the frame and stuck his tongue out, then left.

“Lolo!” Noelle shouted for the locker room to hear, and Logan groaned.

“Lolo,” Kasey imitated, grinning, and Logan shoved his mask down over his face.

“How is it?” Finn asked, wrapping an arm around him. “Hi, Noelle.”

“Fractured. Couple weeks.”

“Damn,” Finn sighed. “Sorry, T. That was an—”

“unlucky hit,” Thomas laughed. “Preach.”

“Hey, baby, we’re all heading to grab some food, but call you tonight?”

Thomas nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

He tried not to feel lonely as the screen went dark. He was in a room surrounded by people. People he loved.

It crept in anyway.

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Heloise's 3.5k Followers Sleepover [Closed!] and Writing Challenge [Closed!]

Hello my lovelies <3

On Wednesday we reached another milestone once again! I can’t tell you how happy I am to know that so many of you have been enjoying my writing. All the support I’ve gotten from my followers has been beyond my expectations and I’m just so very grateful. I never imagined getting 50 let alone 3500 followers. Mind blowing really! I wanted to do something fun for such a huge milestone and as it’s a writing blog, I thought, let’s write. I want the writers to enjoy writing and the readers to enjoy reading. However, on the other hand, I didn’t want to leave out my non-writer followers so a sleepover should be in place as well.

Therefore, welcome to⁠—

Heloise’s 3.5k followers Sleepover and Writing Challenge

Part 1. Sleepover [Closed!] (Please click on the link above!)

Part 2. Writing Challenge [Closed!] (See below the Keep Reading option!)

Let's have fun and send your Ask! ^^

Heloise's Map | Masterlists

Heloise’s 3.5k Followers Writing Challenge Masterlist

Part 2. Writing Challenge!

Disclaimer! I do not own any of the prompts listed below, they all belong to @screnwriter and @dreamy-prose and each prompt list I have used for creating this event are listed at the bottom of the post. [Numbers] next to prompts refer to the prompt lists you can find them at.

Rules!

➵ You don’t have to follow me to participate, although it would be much appreciated. ➵ Chose as many prompts as you’d like. No limits. ➵ Write for any universe and any pairings, I basically read everything. ➵ No incest, racial, religious, or sexual hate openly, not related to the story line, but to hurt others. If you have any of the above in your fic, I will not reblog it. ➵ Fluff, angst, smut, anything goes, just please use appropriate Warnings!  ➵ Use the Keep reading option above 500 words. Tutorial from phone is Here! ➵ No deadline for submission, but deadline for entry closes on 27 September 2021. Clarification: You can submit your fics even next year if you wish. End date is only for entering the event. I will not be able to accept entries after 27 September 2021. ➵ If you would like to participate, just send me an Ask with the prompt(s) and character and Reblog this post. ➵ Please use the tag #heloises3.5kcelebration and tag my name @heloisedaphnebrightmore when you post your fic. If it's not reblogged in 48 hours, please send me an Ask or DM. My tags seem to be funny at times. ➵ And most importantly, Have fun! :)

I decided to use both Scenario prompts and Dialogue prompts to take on a different approach compared to my last writing challenge.

Scenario prompts

Enemies to lovers / Tension prompts

1. “I’ll kiss you right now to prove that I don’t feel anything for you.” “Okay.” The two characters kiss, and whoops they felt something, followed by lingering, as they’re catching their breath, trying to make sense of what just happened, and the feelings rushing through them, and then there’s this urge to dive back in for another kiss. [5]

@goddessofdawns (x) Loki Laufeyson x Reader

2. Your enemy has never let anyone touch their scar, until you come along. [7]

@natashxromanovf (x) Bucky Barnes x Reader

3. Character A and B kiss each other to prove there's nothing going on between them, but they get so caught up in each other, they prove the exact opposite. [2]

@wearywinchester (x) Dean Winchester x Reader

4. For one night, Character A and B give into temptation and sleep with each other, hoping it will solve the tension building between them. It does the opposite. [2]

5. Character A and B avoid each other after sharing an intimate moment, be it a kiss, a hug, holding hands, or just looking at each other's lips longer than appropriate. [1]

@wearywinchester (x) Dean Winchester x Reader

6. You're upset one night, and you don't know where to go, so you end up at your enemy's house, and as they open the door, you stay silent for a second, before saying “I don't know where else to go.” Your enemy doesn't say anything, instead they pull you into their arms, giving you a shoulder to cry on. [1]

@goddessofdawns (x) Bucky Barnes x Reader

7. The best friends to lovers “Let’s just kiss to see what it’s like.” They kiss, followed by the characters pulling away, eyes still closed, forehead against forehead, lingering… and then they go in for the second kiss. [5]

@goddessofdawns (x) Newt (Maze Runner) x Reader

8. You threaten your enemy, and when they close the distance between you, you realize how attracted you truly are to them. [1]

9. Pinning your enemy against the wall. Or straddling your enemy’s hips whilst they pin your arms above your head. [1]

@theravenclawgal (x) Sirius Black x Reader

10. You end up on your enemy's lap, and you yank the belt from their pants “Let's just get this over with.” [1]

11. You're about to leave the room, but your enemy slams the door shut, and with one hand on either side of your head, barricade you against the wall... (cue the reckless make-out session). [2]

@band--psycho (x) James Potter x Reader

12. You’re sharing a bed with your enemy and being told “Stay on your side or I'll set this whole bed on fire”. Only to wake up the next day with your enemy's arms wrapped around you. [2]

@forever-and-more (x) Lorcan Salvaterre (Throne of Glass) x Reader

13. Your enemy has been badly wounded, and somebody needs to bandage them up, so you agree to help them, and suddenly they're shirtless, and you can't help but admire their body, something that cheeky bastard takes notice of. [1]

14. You've been wounded, your face is all bruised up. Your enemy puts a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes to theirs, asking “Who did this to you?”. When you don't answer, they ask you again “Who did this to you?”. [1]

@band--psycho (x) Klaus Mikaelson x Reader

@grimdevil (x) Regulus Black x Reader

15. You've just been hurt, you're bleeding out, and your enemy is freaking out, dropping the “I love you. I can't lose you” card, begging you not to close your eyes. [2]

@goddessofdawns (x) Loki Laufeyson x Reader

@forever-and-more (x) Lorcan Salvaterre (Throne of Glass) x Reader

16. Two characters look at each other, a tense silence between them and then bang, lips crash into each other as they can’t resist anymore and then one of them pins the other against the wall. [6]

@forever-and-more (x) Lorcan Salvaterre (Throne of Glass) x Reader

17. You had a really good time on the date tonight, and your date is asking for a good night kiss. It was only meant to be on the cheek, but then you pull back, our eyes meet, and there's a gravitational pull pulling you closer again. [6]

18. You’ve never been kissed before so your friend volunteers, but you decline because you’ve been best friends and it would be weird. But a couple hours later you lay awake in bed and can't stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss them and suddenly you regret what you said. [6]

@queen-of-brokenhearts (x) Hermione Granger x Female!Reader

Intimate / Domestic prompts

19. You are wearing your lover’s clothes when they say, “Can I get my shirt/hoodie back?” and you say “No.” or “Come and get it.”. [4]

@oliverwoodmarrymepls (x) Oliver Wood x Reader

20. You're talking on the phone and your lover quietly comes up behind you, wraps their arms around you, and starts gently kissing your neck. You begin to lose focus on your phone call as you concentrate on not making any noise. [3]

@band--psycho (x) Fred Weasley x Reader

21. You’re supposed to be mad at your lover but they’re holding your face and smiling, and you just can't resist it when they're pouting like that. [6]

22. You and your lover sitting next to each other at a table, and they rest their hand on your thigh, gently rubbing their thumb back and forth. [3]

23. Looking at your crush or lover only to find them already looking at you and when you make eye contact, they smile at you. [3]

@iliveiloveiwrite (x) - Benedict Bridgerton x Reader

24. You think mistletoe kisses are lame, but your love interest brings you under one, regardless of the season and suddenly you're all for it. [6]

25. You and your lover are in bed, when you say, “It’s time to get up.” and your lover pulls you back down, wraps their hands around your body, snuggles up close, preventing you from getting out of bed. [4]

26. Your lover is resting their head on your lap, falling asleep whilst you are playing with their hair. [4]

@oliverwoodmarrymepls (x) Oliver Wood x Reader

@band--psycho (x) Young!Remus Lupin x Reader

27. Having a piece of hair brushed off your face as you're reading or looking down. [3]

28. You're sick, and you can't kiss your lover, and it's an absolute torture. [6]

@msmarvelouswinchester (x) Jensen Ackles or Dean Winchester x Reader

29. Being asked “Are you sure?” (There's nothing sexier than consent) [3]

30. When it’s a slow burn, and the characters just look at each other like “Fuck it, I’m done with this.” and they finally kiss. [4]

@acourtofbooksandfantasy (x) Azriel (ACOTAR) x Reader

Dialogue prompts

Flirty / Sarcastic prompts

1. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing I like the sound of your voice, because you don’t seem to ever shut up.” [9]

2. “Is that a challenge?” [9]

3. “You’re cute when you’re nervous.” [15]

@will-be-a-fineline (x) Harry Styles x reader

4. “When have I ever put you in danger? Actually, don't answer that.” [11]

@wearywinchester (x) Dean Winchester x Reader

5. “I dare you.” [9]

6. “If you don’t shut up, I might as well kiss you to put that mouth to good use.” [9]

7. Character A: “Do yourself a favour, get laid.” Character B: “Why, are you offering?” [9]

@grimdevil (x) Draco Malfoy x Reader

@theravenclawgal (x) Sirius Black x Reader

8. Character A: “What if bite you?” Character B: “I’m into that.” [10]

9. Character A is returning a priced procession to Character B and says, “I want something in return.” Character B “What?”  Character A “You.” [2]

10. Character A: “What changed your mind? “ Character B: “You.” [7]

11. Character A: “What do you want?” Character B: “You.” [9]

12. Character A: “Just admit it.” Character B: “Admit what?” Character A: “I’m the best you’ve ever had.” [13]

13. Character A: “You haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?” Character B: “And yet for some reason your mouth just keeps on going.” [8]

@wearywinchester (x) Dean Winchester x Reader

@theravenclawgal (x) Sirius Black x Reader

14. Character A: “I shouldn't have kissed you” “ Character B: You're right. But I should've.” [7]

15. Character A: “Do you flirt with everyone?” Character B: “Unfortunately, you’re the only one who caught my attention.” Character A: “Unfortunately?” [8]

@sexysirius (x) Sirius Black x Reader

16. Character B: “I like to keep my options open.” [8]

17. “I hate you. Oh, I hate you so much right now.” [11]

18. “Jesus Christ, you're annoying.” [11]

First kiss / Confession prompts

19. Character A: “Come over here.” Character B: “Why?” Character A: “You said you’ve never been kissed before. I’m planning on changing that.” [10]

20. Character A: “Just… don’t make this weird, all right?” Character B: “Meaning what?” Character A: “Meaning, don’t treat me like I haven’t been kissed before.” Character B: “But you… haven’t been kissed before.” Character A: “Look, I just want this over and done with, okay. I don’t want to be treated like a delicate flower. Kiss me like you mean it.” [10]

@band--psycho (x) Damon Salvatore x Reader

21. Character A: “I love you.” Character B: “I know.” Character A: “You knew?” Character B: “You haven’t exactly been discreet.” [15]

@band--psycho (x) Natasha Romanoff x Reader

22. “Listen, I know you’re busy, but… it’s important.” [15]

23. “I love you, and I don’t care if you don’t love me back. I just need you to know that I do.” [15]

24. Character A: “Do you have feelings for me?” Character B: “What?” Character A: “Do you have feelings for me?” [14]

25. “Is that truly, all it is? Just, two friends, hanging out?” [14]

@pregnant-piggy (x) Sirius Black x Reader

26. “I need to ask you something and I don’t want you to brush off the subject or turn it into a joke… I need you to be honest with me.” [14]

@grimdevil (x) Young!Sirius Black

27. “Are you… are you in love with me?” [14]

28. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” [14]

29. “All this time I thought you didn’t want me.” [14]

30. “If there’s something you want to tell me, now’s the time.” [14]

@wearywinchester (x) Dean Winchester x Reader

31. “There’s nothing going on between me and Character C. because the person I want to be with is standing right in front of me.” [14]

32. Character A: “I want this to work. I really do.” Character B: “Then we’re on the same page.” [16]

33. “I’ve missed you so much. I didn’t even think it was possible to miss someone this much.” [16]

34. “I know we're not together, but I might die today so I'm going to kiss you just in case there is no later.” [6]

Reassurance / Sweet prompts

35. “You could stay here, tonight. For as long as you'd like.” [7]

@oliverwoodmarrymepls (x) Oliver Wood x Reader

36. “Could you ever love someone like me?” [7]

37. Character A: “I've never been in love before.” Character B: “Then let me show you.” [7]

@goddessofdawns (x) Sam Wilson x Reader

38. “I can’t get up. You’re gonna have to carry me.” [11]

@goddessofdawns (x) Sam Wilson x Reader

39. “Are you okay with me kissing you?” [12]

@deanwanddamons (x) Jensen Ackles x Reader

40. “I feel safe with you. I always have.” [12]

@band--psycho (x) Newt (Maze Runner) x Reader

41. “I need you to know that you can always come to me.” [12]

@iliveiloveiwrite (x) - Benedict Bridgerton x Reader

42. Character A: “You’ll wait for me?” Character B: “For as long as I need to.” [12]

43. “I’ll always be there for you. Don’t you ever doubt that.” [12]

@band--psycho (x) George Weasley x Reader

44. “Don’t hide from me. you’re even more beautiful in the morning.” [13]

@will-be-a-fineline (x) Harry Styles x reader

45. “I’m going to kiss you until you’re sick of it.” [13]

@goddessofdawns (x) Sam Wilson x Reader

46. “Just hold me. I’m not ready to wake up.” [13]

@pregnant-piggy (x) Sirius Black x Reader

If you have any questions, don’t be afraid of sending me a message. My inbox is always open for everyone :)

Prompt lists used from @screnwriter and @dreamy-prose

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16]

[jaskiers-sweetkiss]

The Mercer Legacy - Part 3

Pairings: Luke x Reggie x Reader, willex

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: some swearing

A/N: yay part 3!!! I just wanna say thank you for all your comments and support, you guys make writing this so much fun!! I’m posting this part on my phone so I apologize in advance if anything is messed up, I usually post from my computer. As always lmk what you think and message me/send an ask if you’d like to be added to my taglist!!

Part 2 Masterlist TML Masterlist

___

You put up with Alex’s knowing looks and disappointed smiles whenever you were with the boys or he caught you smiling down at your phone. At least he was kind enough not to say anything again.

So maybe you had developed teensy weensy crush on Luke and Reggie, it’s not like it’s hard when they’re both so pretty and charismatic and kind and talented. Alex was no help either. With him sneaking off more and more to spend time with Willie, who else were you going to hang out with?

A tapping on your window pulled you from your late-night thoughts and you pulled yourself up into a sitting position on your bed, craning your head to try and peer out through the glass. Of course, you couldn’t see anything through the darkness. You pulled yourself off your bed with a sigh, dragging your feet as you made your way to the window.

Upon closer observation you thought you could make out two figures standing in the grass below. With another sigh you pulled open your window.

“Are you throwing rocks at my window?” You hissed, rolling your eyes as the two boys dropped the rocks in their hands guiltily. “What the hell is this, a five-sos song?”

“Are you coming or not?” Luke whined and you rolled your eyes again.

You silently thanked your laziness for the fact that you hadn’t yet changed into your pajamas as you climbed out the window.

Your feet touched the ground softly, Reggie’s hands firm on your waist and yours on his shoulders from when he had caught you after you pushed yourself off the edge of your roof. You smiled gratefully at him, trying to ignore the erratic beating of your heart and the familiar warmth that had spread to your cheeks as you stepped out of his grasp. You wondered if his heart was beating just as fast or if his cheeks had turned that shade of pink they got whenever he was flustered, you couldn’t tell in the darkness.

“So, where to this evening, gentlemen?” You asked and the two boys turned to stare at each other, clearly not having gotten that far in their planning.

“Uh, the beach?”

“Boardwalk?” They asked at the same time before grinning.

“Close enough,” Luke said, leading the way to the end of your driveway where his bike and Reggie’s skateboard lay discarded.

“Oh, I’ll go grab my bike from the garage-“ you spoke when you realized, turning to double back but Luke caught your arm, stopping you.

“It’s okay, you can just ride on my handlebars,” he suggested and you narrowed your eyes.

“Isn’t that dangerous?”

“That’s what makes it fun,” he spoke with a wicked grin that send your heart racing once more.

You nodded in agreement, a little afraid of what your voice would sound like if you tried to speak, and followed him to his bike. Once Luke was situated on the bike seat Reggie helped boost you up onto the handlebars, Luke’s arms coming to rest on either side of you.

You were off to a rocky start as Luke began to pedal, the bike swaying from side to side as he adjusted to riding with the extra weight at the front of the bike. Your knuckles turned white from how tightly you were gripping the handlebars and you found yourself torn between wanting to clench your eyes shut and being unable to close them for fear of crashing. It wasn’t until Luke righted the bike and began riding smoothly that you let out the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

“You okay, Y/N?” Reggie asked, skateboarding alongside you.

“Yeah,” you answered, sounding breathless and Reggie smirked knowingly. Luke had that effect on people.

The breathless nervousness went away though, and by the end of the trip you were grinning like a madman, whooping and hollering whenever Luke did something slightly reckless. The power of adrenaline, you supposed.

You pouted when Luke finally slowed the bike to a stop Reggie smirked when he noticed, the boy slowing to a stop beside you.

“Come on sugar, down you go,” he spoke, placing his hands on your waist again to help you off the handlebars.

“Sugar?” You questioned with a quirked brow as your feet touched the ground, the adrenaline still coursing through your veins apparently making you bolder as you’d normally become a stuttering, flustered mess at a term of endearment like that.

“Sorry, would you rather I didn’t?” Reggie asked quietly but assuredly, his hands still burning holes where they remained on your waist and you suddenly realized how close you were.

“No, it’s okay babe,” you replied, attempting to keep your cool. From your position so close to him you could now see the pink blush spreading across his cheeks and you smirked victoriously to yourself at your ability to make him just as flustered as he made you.

“So what’s the plan?” Luke asked, spooking you and Reggie and causing you to jump away from each other.

You narrowed your eyes confusedly at Luke.

“Why are you asking me? This was your idea!”

“Well I didn’t exactly get this far!” Luke protested with a whine and a pout which you giggled at.

“It’s okay darling,” you said, lightly patting him on the cheek before beginning to wander down the boardwalk. “We’ve got time.”

“Wha- hey wait up!” Luke called, and you heard their footsteps pouring on the wood as they jogged to catch up.

The three of you wandered for a while before Luke go sick of pulling his bike around (you and Reggie both pointed out that he could’ve locked it up at one of the many bike racks you’d passed) and insisted that you find a spot to be stationary. That’s how you wound up sitting in the sand, not far from where the waves crashed onto the beach. The three of you sat and talked, periodically tossing rocks into the water.

Not long after you’d found your spot on the shore, you began to regret not throwing on a jacket when you left the house. Your outfit had been ideal for the warm summer day and spending time indoors, but you weren’t exactly equipped for sitting by the water after sundown.

“Are you cold?” Luke and Reggie asked simultaneously, both apparently having noticed your shivering.

You watched amusedly as the two boys glared at each other from either side of you before they began speaking again.

“Here take my flannel,” Luke offered, already beginning to shrug it off his shoulders.

“You can have my jacket?” Reggie asked at the same time, the dark haired boy also shrugging off his leather jacket.

Reggie was faster than Luke, and before you could even accept either offer he was draping the black leather around your shoulders. You smiled gratefully at him, pulling the material tighter around you, though not slipping your arms through the sleeves. On your other side Luke pouted while Reggie stuck his tongue out triumphantly at his friend.

“Please, boys, stop fighting over me! I can’t take it!” you teased.

It was meant to be a joke but you didn’t miss the way Luke tensed up or Reggie’s eyes widened like deer caught in headlights. You tried not to think to much about it but you couldn’t help but hear Alex’s voice in your head.

___

“What are you wearing?”

You paused on your front steps, turning to peer at your best friend across your lawns.

“A jacket?” You answered, giving him a weird look. “It’s getting chilly out and you know it’s always cold in the theater.”

The two of you were going to see a movie, it was your tradition. At least once a month you’d go out for Tuesday-night $5 movies, even if you didn’t care about what was in theaters.

“Yeah but I recognize that jacket,” Alex said, moving towards you to get a closer look.

“Well yeah, you’ve seen like every piece of clothing I own,” you scoffed, but for all your bravado you found yourself shrinking your arms into the leather sleeves self-consciously.

“Oh. My. Gosh.” Alex breathed, putting emphasis on each word. “It’s not yours.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Please, Y/N, you think I wouldn’t recognize Reggie’s jacket? He barely lets it out of his sight! How’d you end up with it?”

You couldn’t help the warmth that spread to your face when you remembered how eager he was to give it to you, gently draping it over your shoulders. He barely lets it out of his sight and yet he’d insisted on giving it to you.

“Did he give it to you?” Alex gasped and you felt your cheeks grow impossibly warmer.

“It’s not a big deal,” you tried to brush it off but you both knew you were lying. “We snuck out to the beach the other night and I got cold so he offered me his jacket. No big deal.”

“No big deal-“ he repeated under his breath, shaking his head in disbelief. “You know what? I think we should skip the movie and go get ice cream.”

“No! Movie night is tradition!”

“You just don’t want to talk to me about this.”

“You’re absolutely right.” You agreed, opening the driver’s side door of you car. “Now c’mon, the movie theater awaits.”

You heard Alex grumble as he walked around to the other side of the car before climbing into the passenger seat beside you.

“Fine. But we’re getting ice cream after.”

“As long as you’re buying.”

___

“And then they took me back home and he never asked for the jacket back and I haven’t seen him since then to return it and-“

“And you decided to wear it to the movies with me, where you knew you weren’t going to see him.” Alex finished with a knowing look and you stared down at your ice cream, willing away the heat in your cheeks.

When you finally looked back up he was still watching you expectantly. You groaned, sticking your spoon into your ice cream and crossing your arms defensively.

“It’s really comfortable, okay? And it- it smells nice,” you admitted with a pout.

“How often have you been wearing it at home?” He asked teasingly and you glared.

“Oh fuck off!”

Alex merely laughed at the grumpy expression on your face before the two of you fell into a friendly silence.

“Y’know one day I’m going to catch you wearing Willie’s clothes and I’m never going to let you live it down.”

“I’m not the one trying to hide my feelings,” Alex pointed at you with his spoon before resuming eating his ice cream.

“Really? So you’ve had a conversation with Willie about your feelings and you both know where each other stands?” Alex glared at you and you smirked. “That’s what I thought.”

“Y’know what? I don’t need to take this,” he pushed his chair away from the table, sending you a playful glare before walking away to throw away his empty ice cream cup.

“What’s the matter Mercer? Can’t stand the taste of your own medicine?” You called after him and he responded by flipping you off over his shoulder.

Part 4

____

JATP Taglist: @meangirlsx @morganayennefertyrell @n0wornever @bright-molina @reg-peters @calamitykaty

TML Taglist: @bright-patterson @marinettepotterandplagg @everyonesannoyedwithme @dream-a-little-bigger-x @percico-heronstairs @starjane312 @ifilwtmfc @jatphatones @cherrymaybank @sorrowfulfragmentation @stargazing-dreamer-girl @daisybutterlions @mynameisntluke @willex-owns-my-heart @theolivekiddo @90ssunsetcurve

[theladyofdeath]

The Ranch {16}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.

Collaboration: @snelbz​ x @tacmc​

Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.

Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.

The Ranch Masterlist

Cassian stared at the broken window, his hands on his hips. Beau was groaning at his feet, fully aware that something had happened that was total shit. Nesta was cooking breakfast for the guests inside of the B&B. She decided that a daily morning breakfast would be a regular occurrence, and she wanted to make the first morning breakfast a grand occasion.

Even if she hadn’t slept at all the night before.

Every time she drifted off, she was panicking, which meant Cassian had stayed up all night comforting her. Which, he loved doing, loved being there for her, felt it was his duty to be there for her, but none of that erased the fact that he was completely, utterly exhausted.

A truck pulled up behind him and the engine turned off. A few seconds later, Azriel was standing beside him. With a whistle, he said, “Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Cassian breathed. “Just after midnight. Brick flew through the window, Nesta was screaming bloody murder, Beau nearly shot himself out the door and tore his balls off.”

“Maybe he should’ve,” Azriel muttered, stepping closer to the broken window, careful to avoid the glass shards, even though he was wearing his boots. “Tomas did this?”

“Who else would’ve?” Cassian grumbled.

Even Azriel couldn’t argue with that. “Well, let’s put some plastic over it, then I’ll bring you into town to get a new window and help put it in.”

Cassian didn’t have any plastic. If he had, he would have patched it up in the middle of the night. Instead, he had laid a thin piece of plywood over the hole.

“Probably best to just go ahead and get the window,” Cassian said with a yawn.

Azriel nodded and the two of them got in the truck, heading for the main house.

“Aside from that, how was the first night?” He asked, nodding towards the house in front of them.

Cassian blew out a breath. “Good, I think. Nobody called us about anything, but from what I can tell, nothing was done to the house.”

Just Nesta’s small house that the two of them had been occupying.

They parked in front of the big wrap around porch, heading up the stairs. A couple was sitting on porch swing, and they waved as Cassian and Az walked into the house. 

There was sound everywhere, people bustling to and fro. It was almost unnerving after the silence of the house for so many months.

“Nes?” He called her name, even though he knew exactly where she was.

“Kitchen!”

Walking into the kitchen, they found the table full, both of food and people in the chairs. Nesta was still at the stove, happily stirring away at a pan of gravy while her guests stuffed themselves.

“Smells great, baby.” He pressed a kiss to her head and she smiled.

Her eyes were lit up. “Thanks. Az, are you hungry?”

“Elain fed me on the way out the door, but I might say no next time.” He was eyeing the spread of classic country breakfast on the table.

Nesta laughed, and turned to Cassian. “What’s up?”

He gently took her hand, rubbing small circles into the back of it. “We gotta go into town. I’m fixing that window today.”

He watched the color leech from her face.

“Please don’t leave me here alone.”

Cassian hesitated.

“It’s fine,” Azriel said, quickly. “Rhys has today off, I’ll pick him up on the way and we’ll get it here. I’ll let you know when we’re back.”

“Are you sure?” Nesta said, suddenly realizing that it took more than one man to get a window into the back of a truck. 

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Azriel said, with a genuine smile. “And, uh, now that I think about it, maybe I’ll take a biscuit to go?”

Nesta chuckled, although the light didn’t reach her eyes. She wrapped a biscuit in a napkin and handed it over, then Azriel was off.

Cassian looked around at the guests, chatting happily and stuffing their faces. 

“You should be proud,” Cassian said, quietly.

Nesta nodded before turning back to the stove.

“I, um, want your blessing on something.”

Nesta froze before looking at him over her shoulder. 

“Maybe we should talk alone,” Cassian went on.

She turned to look at him. “My blessing for what?”

Cassian hesitated, then sighed. “I want to go talk to Tomas.”

“No.” Nesta turned back to the stove.

Cassian gave her a look before walking away, into the laundry room that was off to the side, knowing full well she would follow. Nesta Archeron did not leave conversations unresolved. 

She closed the door behind her before asking, “Why the hell would you do something stupid like that?”

“Because he threatened you,” Cassian said, through his teeth. “Because he threatened me, and our guests, and our unborn child, and he can’t do that.”

“You can’t just-.”

“I’m just going to talk,” Cassian said. “Or, I can go to the police for vandalism, but I’m going to do one of the two, it’s your call.”

Nesta crossed her arms over her chest. “I’d rather you fix the window and we pretend this never happened.”

Cassian stared at her. “I can’t do that.”

“You can’t fight your way out of this, Cass!” She said, beginning to pace in the small room. “Fighting with Tomas already ruined your roping career.”

Cassian’s jaw hardened. “I was defending you.”

“And I love you for that, but it doesn’t change the fact that what you did was stupid.” Nesta stopped and looked at him, putting her hands on his chest. “I’ve seen how good you were, you should’ve won that championship. But you didn’t. You let your anger and a stupid decision take that from you.”

Cassian sighed and said, “Make your choice: either I go to the police or he and I have a man to man talk.”

Nesta’s eyes, shimmering with frustrated tears, flicked down to his hurt shoulder. She opened the laundry room door, looking back at him, and said, “At least wait until Azriel and Rhys get back,” before shutting the door a little harder than necessary and walking back into the kitchen.

He felt guilty, but he wasn’t going to let that guilt talk him out of this. He had to talk to Tomas, had to let him know that this wasn’t okay.

Nesta had gone through enough.

She didn’t need to go through anymore.

So, he did as she asked and waited until Azriel and Rhys got back with the window before grabbing the keys without a word and driving himself into town, without so much as a goodbye to anyone.

He was seeing red.

Not only did this man make Nesta throw up out of fear at her own grand opening, but he threw a fucking brick through their window, scaring her even more, then Cassian was the one who got snapped at for wanting to correct it?

That wasn’t going to cut it. 

He had finally gotten his happiness and Tomas fucking Mandray wasn’t going to take that away from him. 

Cassian drove through town and to the other side, where he pulled onto the grounds of a small ranch. He spotted Tomas right away, working on a tractor just outside of the garage. 

Cassian was opening the door before he even put the truck in park. “What the fuck is your problem, Mandray?” 

“Don’t have a problem at all,” Tomas said, shit-eating grin on his face. “You got a problem?”

It took everything in Cassian to not hurl that brick back into his smug face. But he’d made a promise to Nesta. He was only here to talk, he wouldn’t start a fight with Tomas.

So instead, he very calmly reached into the truck, grabbed the brick off of the passenger seat, and lifted it up so Tomas could see it. “I think you left this at my girlfriend’s house.”

Cassian promised he wouldn’t start a fight with Tomas Mandray.

He didn’t say anything about finishing one.

Without another word, he launched the brick through Tomas’ workshop window.

“You fucking dick,” he yelled. “I’m going to fucking k-.”

“Heard you bought the old Carlson ranch,” Cassian interrupted. “Had to come give my congratulations.”

He swore he could see Tomas face change color as his own trick was used against him.

Cass continued, “You know, I hadn’t even heard you were back in town until just a week or two before Nesta came home.” He slammed the truck door and moved closer to the shop. Closer to Tomas. “Was that a coincidence or were you hurling bricks through her window in Paris, too?”

“Oh, fuck you.” The tone in Tomas’ voice… that was hatred. Pure and unadulterated hatred. “You think you get to come in, like some white knight? You’re saving the day again?”

Cassian wasn’t able to stop himself as he got in Tomas’ face. “You do anything to put my girlfriend or child in danger, ever again, and I will gladly reenact the ass whooping I gave you back at Worlds.”

His phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket, answering it without looking, knowing who it was.

“Yes?”

“That’s enough. Whatever you’ve said, it’s enough.” She had no idea how wrong she was. It would never be enough. “Please.”

With a deep sigh, he said, “Okay. I’ll be right there.”

Nesta’s relieved voice came across the ear piece, loud and clear. “Thank you, Cass. I love you.”

He stared Tomas down, knowing he’d heard every word of their conversation, and said, “I love you, too, sweetheart.”

He hung up and slipped the phone back into his back pocket. “Don’t ever come on our property again. It’ll be the last mistake you ever make.”

He turned and was heading for the truck, when Tomas spoke up. “Has Nesta ever told you how she found out she wasn't able to have kids? Or, well, wasn’t supposed to be able to.”

Cassian froze. Mostly everyone had guessed that Nesta’s pregnancy was an accident, but her supposed infertility wasn’t a known fact.

He turned. “How the hell do you know that?”

“Who do you think was holding her hand in a Parisian women’s clinic?”

Cassian blinked. “What?”

“She didn’t leave me here, Nazari,” Tomas said, with complete satisfaction that Cassian was caught off guard. “I was with her there, too, for a little while. I was there when we found out she couldn’t have kids. I was there when she cried, when she brushed it off and said it wasn’t a big deal. I was the one who dried her tears. Did she tell you that?”

No.

No she hadn’t.

Cassian’s jaw locked, but he said nothing.

“You’ve been with her for months,” Tomas spat, eyes turning cold, angry. “I was with her for years. She can try all she wants to, but in the end, she always comes back to me.”

“Stop talking,” Cassian warned.

“You sound worried,” Tomas crooned, eyes lighting with satisfaction. “Jealous, even.”

Cassian took a second to think about his next move, even as that anger brewed beneath the surface. He had already broken his window, had said what he had to say, and Nesta’s words replayed in the back of his mind.

Nesta.

Who apparently hadn’t told him the entire story of her and Tomas.

“Just stay off my fucking property,” Cassian said, meeting Tomas’s gaze as he climbed back into the truck, slammed the door shut, and made his way back to the road.

He kept the radio off as Tomas’ words came back to him. Tomas’ words, not Nesta’s. She had made Cassian believe that she had left Tomas here to begin again.

He felt foolish.

He felt pissed.

He took the turn onto the property a little too quickly and fishtailed, spitting rocks in every direction from the little gravel drive.

They were all sitting on the porch, his mismatched family. Rhys was the closest, leaning against the stair railing. Azriel was by the door. Feyre sat on the railing next to her husband. And Elain, sweet Elain was sitting on the porch swing.

Holding Nesta’s hand.

Cassian parked in front of the house and cut the engine. The silence was almost as defeating as the roar of the engine had been. He got out of the truck and shut the door with a gentleness he honestly didn’t think he was capable of in that moment.

Azriel said, “Give me my keys, asshole.”

Cass threw them to him, without looking, and started heading away from the main house, towards his cabin.

“Cass?”

The sound of his name from her lips clanged through him. He didn’t stop walking.

Light footsteps on wood. “Cass!”

Rhys called, “Cass, where are you going?”

He didn’t stop.

Her voice was hurt. “Cassian…”

He couldn’t stop.

Couldn’t stop because he couldn’t bear for them to see the silent tears streaming down his face.

Beau was at his side in an instant, trailing after his master with a soft whine as he made his way down the dirt path. He cursed himself as he angrily wiped at his face, steps hurried, urgent until he made it to his cabin.

Perhaps he should have locked it, but he hadn’t, and the door swung open easily. Beau laid on the couch as Cassian stomped to the fridge and pulled out a mostly full bottle of whiskey.

Tomas had been with Nesta in France?

The thought still echoed in his mind, leaving him breathless. 

She would be here soon, no doubt, demanding to know what had happened.

Cassian looked at the bottle, unscrewed the top, and downed as much of the burning liquor as he could handle. He stopped, muttered a curse, and downed some more.

Beau only watched with concern in his pleading brown eyes.

It was only a few minutes before he heard footsteps outside, but the heavy, booted stride wasn’t the one he expected.

The door opened and Azriel came in. Cassian didn’t look up from the knot in the wooden flooring as it shut and Az made his was into the living room. He sat in the chair beside the couch.

“Your pregnant girlfriend is crying her eyes out right now. Any reason you’re not up there talking to her?”

Cassian looked at him then, letting him see the tears shimmering on his own face.

“Shit,” Azriel breathed, genuine surprise written on his face. “What happened out there?”

Cassian stayed quiet for a long moment, looking down at Beau while he fiddled with the top of the whiskey bottle. Then, he asked, “Did you know that Tomas was in France? With her?”

The stricken look on Azriel’s face told him that he didn’t.

“He was there with her for years,” Cassian said, that anger returning, fueling his words. “Living with her. She fucking stayed with him, Az. Which means that I not only lost my career, my dream, for fucking nothing, but that Nesta has been lying to me for months.”

Azriel opened his mouth to say something, but his words failed him.

“I feel like an idiot,” he said, taking another sip from the bottle. “I’m not up there comforting her right now because every word that’ll come out of my mouth will be one I end up regretting.”

Azriel stayed quiet for a few more minutes. Finally, he said, “She’s scared.” Cass looked up at him. “She thinks you did something stupid, that Tomas is somewhere laying in a ditch.”

Cassian scoffed. “Glad she’s so worried about him.”

“She’s not worried about him, you dumbass,” he said, disbelief coloring his tone. “She’s worried about you going to jail.”

Cassian didn’t answer, just took another swig from the bottle.

Azriel asked, “You’re not going to talk to her?”

“Not until I can be sure I won’t say something wrong.” He ran a hand through his hair, it had come loose from the hair tie at some point. “I just need to get my head on straight.”

“She’s carrying your child,” Azriel said, incredulously.

“Right now, all indicators are pointing to me being just a sperm donor so Tomas Mandray can have his perfect fucking life with the woman I’ve been in love with since high school.”

Azriel’s hazel eyes had gone cold. “I’m going to assume that’s the booze talking, because right now, you’re acting like a fucking prick.” He stood heading for the door. “She lied to you, yes, and that’s fucked up, but she didn’t do it on purpose. She wouldn’t do anything to hurt you because she loves you.”

He didn’t say anything else as he walked out, slamming the door shut behind him.

Cassian watched him go, not caring that Azriel was right. He was acting like a prick, but he deserved to be able to act like a prick.

He wasn’t in the wrong here.

He hadn’t fucking lied. 

All she had ever told him about Tomas had pointed to the fact that she dumped him after that day at the rodeo, after she found out he was cheating, after Cassian had kicked his ass. And now he finds that all he had thought was complete bullshit? Had she thought she was pregnant with Tomas’s child at some point? Was that how they had found out she couldn’t have kids? Fuck, Tomas knew she thought she couldn’t have kids, a fact that hardly anyone knows.

Cassian felt fucking stupid.

And betrayed.

He finished off the bottle and tossed the glass onto the side table with a clatter, forcing Beau on his feet, instantly alarmed. Cassian pulled himself up from the couch and swayed, nearly falling back over. He steadied himself, though, and took one step forward, trying hard to clear his vision before taking another.

Azriel thought he should talk to Nesta so badly?

Fine.

He would.

If he could fucking make it there.

Cassian threw open the front door but misjudged the front steps. He tripped, and went tumbling down the three, his shirt ripping on his back over the bent wood.

“Fuck,” he yelled, the word slurred as he laid in the grass.

He didn’t feel much pain, though.

Shoutout to the whiskey.

Whiskey was a gift, making his body numb, like he was floating on air. His eyes fluttered open and he was staring up at the clear afternoon sky. The sun was bright, not a cloud in sight. 

It was a perfect day.

Full of utter shit.

With a grunt, Cassian pulled himself into sitting position and pushed himself back onto his feet. Attempting to catch his balance, he looked up toward the main house.

None of them were on the porch now, and Azriel’s truck was no longer parked where he’d left it out front. He stood, wobbling slightly, planning to head to the main house, but he sighed.

They couldn’t hash this out in front of the guests, they very first guests they’d booked. No, he wouldn’t do that to Nesta, wouldn’t embarrass her like that, or tarnish her reputation.

So he stumbled to the small house by the river, window still smashed to hell and opened the door.

He wasn’t expecting to find Nesta inside, sitting with Elain and Feyre on the couch.

He cleared his throat, trying to make his intentions clear. Beau scurried off to the bedroom.

Her sisters didn’t move an inch. Feyre even looked like she was inclined to light him on fire.

“I need to talk to Nesta,” he said, making his voice as clear as possible. Neither made a move to stand. He added, “Alone.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered, squeezing Elain’s hand in her own.

Even Elain have him a distasteful look as they passed him, out the door. Cassian closed it behind them and turned to face his girlfriend.

She lifted her chin but said nothing.

“Tell me about France,” he demanded, voice low.

“You’re drunk,” she said, then nodded to his arm. “And you’re bleeding.”

He looked down near his elbow and, sure enough, blood was trickling from a scratch, thanks to his fall down his porch stairs. 

“I’m fine,” he muttered. “Now, tell me about France.”

He could see the fear in her eyes that she tried to conceal as she said, “What about it?”

The question had been replayed in his head so many times that it didn’t sound right coming out loud now.  “How long was he there?”

She blinked. “Who are you talk-?”

“Don’t bullshit me, Nes.” He leaned against the kitchen counter. “How long was Tomas in France? Hmm? Cause I sure felt like a dumbass when he was throwing your infertility in my face, something your own sisters didn’t even know. Telling me how he held your hand in the clinic and dried your tears and then fucked you to make you forget.”

She’d gone pale, the blood even leaching from her lips, and Cassian thought she might be about to vomit again. “He told you?”

Cassian could feel his heart breaking in his chest, thought he might audibly hear the crack, as she confirmed what he was hoping was a last ditch effort by Tomas to lie and get under his skin. “Sure as fuck did.” He tried to stop his voice from wavering, cleared his throat before he spoke again. But it didn’t stop his voice from breaking as he said, “Why didn’t you?”

Nesta tried to speak but a sudden sob came out instead. Cassian felt guilty for making her cry, but he didn’t show it. “He was there for just under two years,” Nesta said, at last, words quiet as tears streamed down her cheeks. “He came, asking for forgiveness, begging me to take him back, saying he wanted to start again. We had a scare. I...had thought I was pregnant but when we went to the doctor, that was when I found out I couldn’t- couldn’t have kids.” The words were barely audible through her sob, through her heartache. Cassian was breathing harder, but his feet stayed planted, just within the door. “He left me after that, weeks later. I hadn’t seen him again. Not until that day we went into town and ran into him at the hardware store.”

Cassian had nothing to say. She was the one crying, but Cassian just felt numb.

Nesta took a deep, shaky breath. “I’m sor-.”

“You lied to me,” Cassian breathed. “I’m the father of your child, and you fucking lied to me.”

“Cass, don’t-.”

“Stop,” he said, but there was no bite in his voice, only exhaustion from the whiskey, from the lies.

He turned to take a step toward the door, but Nesta was on her feet, her eyes narrowing. Her voice was quiet when she snapped, “Don’t you fucking dare walk away from me.”

Cassian stilled, slowly looking up to meet her gaze. “Seriously? You’re a fucking liar, Nesta! I gave everything to you! Even before you knew I existed, I gave everything to you! I don’t care that he was there, Nesta, if you wanted to repeat your mistakes, over and over again, that’s on you, but you lying about it to me? Making me think it never happened? Well, shit, Nes, if you’re always gonna go back to him, what the fuck am I even doing here?”

“Stop,” she seethed.

“When are you gonna get bored with me and go back to that trash?” He knew it was the alcohol speaking, but he couldn’t stop himself. “It seems to be a trend of yours.”

“You’re being an ass-.”

“Is he gonna be the one my kid calls dad, huh?” Cassian spat, and Nesta froze, her face paling, once more. “Or, were you lying to me about all that, too? Maybe Tomas is his dad, maybe you were fucking him-.”

Nesta’s hand came at his face so quickly that he couldn’t collect himself before her open palm came forcefully in contact with his cheek.

He couldn’t believe the words had come out of his mouth. Couldn’t believe he’d said them aloud. But he refused to see himself as the sole problem in the situation. He may not have been able to hold his tongue, but she was the one who had kept the truth from him.

That slap had all but sobered him up and he needed to go.

He didn’t say a word as he turned from her, walked into the back bedroom and start grabbing his shit, throwing it into a backpack he’d found in the closet.

“Are you leaving me?”

Her voice came from the doorway, and when he turned to look at her, the sadness on her face nearly brought him to his knees. Instead he continued to pack up his bag, grabbing necessities he couldn’t get from main house. “No. Of course not. But I’m staying in the cabin tonight.”

She begged, “Cassian, please-.”

“I can’t stay here tonight,” he said, voice breaking. “I’m going to keep saying things I’m going to regret. And I’m-.” He closed his eyes, fighting the moisture he felt threatening to spill over again. He couldn’t stop the break in his voice. “I’m so fucking hurt, Nesta. You, of all people, you lied to me. I need time to myself, to think.”

He ignored her protests, ignored her tears as he hauled the bag over his shoulder and left, hurrying past Elain and Feyre, who had been waiting on the porch, no doubt hearing every word he’d said. He strode into the cabin and threw the bag down before he started jogging down the path that led to the stables. Behind the stables was an old shed, which he pushed open with his shoulder.

His wood working supplies and a heap of wood laid just inside. He used to do it more, his wood working, before Isaac died, when he’d had more time. He’d sold quite a bit of the furniture he’d made through the years, leaving him with one hell of a savings.

He loved it.

And he was good at it.

And it took his mind off things.

And right now, there was only one thing on his mind.

He worked throughout the night, taking his aggression out on the wood, hacking and chipping and carving and sawing.

He didn’t even know what he was making until it took form in front of him. He just let the wood find itself in his skilled hands.

When the sun was breaking over the trees, he walked back to the cabin, carrying the piece in his arms. He was surprised to find Beau dozing on the front porch, locked out. “What are you doing out here, bud?” He asked, leaning down to scratch behind his soft ears. Beau whined at the door.

He opened the door and immediately knew why Beau had been forgotten outside.

Nesta was asleep on his couch, one of his team roping hoodies swallowing her. He softly closed the door and walked around the room, setting the piece on the wooden coffee table with a thud.

Nesta’s eyes opened and she blinked a few times, before her eyes focused on Cassian.

And then on the small, wooden cradle he’d set down on the table.

Nesta’s eyes slowly trailed up to Cassian’s as she brought her knees up to her chest. “What is this?”

“A bassinet,” Cassian said, his voice low, “and an apology.”

Nesta slowly reached out her fingers to brush along the smooth surface. It was flawless. Her lips parted as she took a deep breath.

“I’m not going to pretend I’m not pissed, Nesta,” he continued, his hands in his pockets, “but I didn’t mean the things I said. I was drunk and I was mad, but I was wrong to say the things that I did.”

She nodded, subtly, still staring at the cradle. Her eyes lined with silver. “It’s beautiful, Cassian.”

She still wouldn’t look at him.

His jaw tightened. He hated making her cry, but this wasn’t a conversation that they could sweep under the rug. He sat down next to her, not quite touching her, but also not far away.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, voice quiet.

He would keep his temper in check, he had no choice not to.

She just continued to brush her finger along the smooth, curved edge. “Where did you get this?”

“I made it.” There was no bragging, no pride.

“You…made it?” Her voice was incredulous. “How?”

He stood and held it out his hand to her. “I’ll show you.”

He lead her down the path, past the stables and to the workshop. He shoved the door aside and Nesta’s eyes didn’t know where to look first. “Cass…”

“Nesta, please.” His voice broke again. She turned to look at him, leaning against the open door frame, seeing the man in front of her, the man she loved, more broken than he’d ever been. His eyes were lined with silver. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

Nesta’s shoulders sagged as she looked away from him, eyes drifting around his little workshop. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Tomas in Paris. No one knew, because… because I was ashamed of it.”

Her words were near silent, but they filled the little shed. Cassian said nothing, and she didn’t dare look at him again as she went on. “I should have told you. And I’m sorry you had to hear about it from him. But you know, now, Cass. All of it, all my secrets. I continuously went back to a shitty, mentally abusive relationship because that’s what I thought I deserved for so long.”

Cassian couldn’t help the tear that fell from his eye. He blamed it on the fact that he’d gotten drunk and stayed up all night, that he was too old for that shit, but he knew that wasn’t why.

“I have always feared how much you love me,” she whispered. “Since the moment I met you… You’ve been so passionate, so genuine, and I didn’t know how to handle that. Then I learned that you were the one that beat up Tomas for cheating on me… I knew I shouldn’t have gone back to him, Cass, knew I shouldn't have taken him back when he showed up in Paris, but I was weak. And I didn’t care, you know? I didn’t care if I got into a relationship that wasn’t…ideal. I stayed with him because I deserved it after all I’d done throughout the years. My family didn’t talk to me. I pushed everyone away, for the most part. But Tom? He was my only consistency. After he left in Paris, though, I was done. I was content on being alone. And I always feared him, a little bit, even before I knew I had real reason to. He’s a cruel man, and I have had nothing to do with him for years.” She turned to meet him, then, her pale cheeks red and blotchy. “This baby is yours, and yours alone. Half you, half me. Tomas is dead to me, Cass. He haunts my dreams and plagues my memories, but he is not a part of my life or my future.”

Cassian didn’t speak. Nesta knew he was processing, knew he hadn’t ignored her confession, that he was turning it over and over in his head. So instead of interrupting him, instead of distracting him, she began to walk through his shop. There were things of every shape and size, from a towering wardrobe to the tiniest, most detailed figurines. She saw chairs, and platforms, pallets and easels. There were different tools used to shape and sand and manipulate the wood into whatever shape he wanted.

Her fingers were skimming across the surface of an unfinished kitchen table with thick, rustic legs, when Cassian’s voice came from right behind her. “You two are the most important things in my life.” She turned expecting to find him by the door, but he was in the heart of the workshop with her. “I said some shit that I didn’t mean, and I’m sorry.” He tucked some of her loose hair behind her ear. “I was hurt and drunk and confused and…” He sighed. “I’m sorry, Nesta. I love you and I’m so, so sorry.”

“I know,” she breathed, reaching up to cup his face in her hands. “I am, too.”

He leaned down and kissed her, softly, her arms wrapping around his neck as he did so. 

“I promise to be truthful,” Nesta said, running her hands down his broad arms. “Always. Every day.” Her fingers stopped and grazed the cut on his arm, just above his elbow.

Cassian chuckled, surprising her. She looked up to meet his gaze, his tired eyes lit with amusement. 

“I fell down my porch stairs yesterday,” Cassian mumbled.

Nesta, eyes still misty, broke out in a grin. “Your feet are too big to walk on when you’re drunk.”

“You know what they say about big feet,” Cassian said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“They come with a cocky attitude?” Nesta asked, her arms resuming their position, hands clasped behind his neck.

Cassian laughed, breathlessly. “Close enough.”

He lifted her up against him, taking a few steps back until he was setting her on an empty spot on his workshop table. His rough hands ran down her thighs as he kissed her again, his teeth tugging gently on her bottom lip. 

“I have to go make breakfast for the guests,” she said, quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment, but knowing her duties.

“What time?” he asked.

“Eight,” she said, quietly.

Cassian pulled his nearly-dead phone out of his pocket before shoving it right back in, his lips finding her neck. “That’s an hour from now.”

She laughed, but leaned her head back, giving him better access. Even then, she said, breathlessly, “One more day. Doctor’s orders.”

His hand wove into her hair, tilting her head down. He said, “Fuck the doctor’s orders,” and kissed her, hard, pulling her body against his.

Her arms tightened around his neck.

The hand that wasn’t tugging on Nesta’s hair lifted the hem of his sweatshirt she wore. His fingers skimmed along her back, every pass going lower and lower...

She wasn’t wearing anything beneath the hoodie.

He pulled back, eyes wide in surprise.

Her lips were swollen from his kisses, but he could see her cheeks redden. “I might have been planning to apologize myself. Yours was just better.”

“I don’t know, yours looks pretty good…” he mumbled, his thumbs brushing over her peaked nipples as he palmed her breasts. “The fact that you’re wearing nothing but boots right now is, like, the center of every fantasy I’ve ever had.” 

Nesta laughed quietly as she wrapped her legs around Cassians waist and pulled him into her. She tugged on his shirt until his chest was bare and her fingers were exploring him hungrily.

They skimmed over that red, angry scar, barely eliciting a reaction from him. Just a slight pull of air through his teeth.

“Does it still hurt?” The words were a whisper, the early morning quiet this far from the city.

He shook his head. “No. It’s actually pretty numb now, just sore sometimes.” He took her hand, gently pressing the palm down over his chest, rather than her fingers above. She could feel the steady beat beneath his skin. “This is the only thing I feel there now. And it’s yours.”

A slow smile captured her lips as she kissed him, passionately, her mind empty of all thoughts except for one: how much she loved this man before her. Even with all of his imperfections, his anger being at the top of that list. But she knew that he loved her just the same.

With hasty fingers, she undid the button that held up his jeans, fully aware of how hard he’d become.

It had been a while.

Too long.

The low groan that escaped his throat as she undid his zipper told her as much.

He reached between them, wanting to work her slowly, to have her falling apart on his hand, to…

“You’re already soaked, sweetheart,” he breathed.

As if it were explanation enough, she tossed her head back and said, “I need you, Cass.”

That was enough for him.

He surprised her though, not by roughly slamming his cock inside her, like she expected - and wanted, truthfully - but by dropping to his knees and feasting on her.

The moan that left her was louder than it should have been. Anyone in the area would have known precisely what they were doing. But neither of them could really be bothered by anything taking place outside of the small workshop.

Within those walls, it was just the two of them, and that was all that mattered. 

His tongue swept between her folds, hungrily, and found her clit with desperate expertise. With her slender fingers tangling into his hair, Nesta’s body clenched, overwhelmed by the pleasure he was giving her. 

If this was the way they made up, perhaps they should fight more often, Nesta thought. Over something small, miniscule, but she’d make a scene if this was the outcome. 

She whispered his name into the silence, putting every emotion she could fathom into the syllables, that one word. Cassian gripped her ass, pulled her closer into his mouth. His fingers would surely leave marks, ones she gladly welcomed. Her legs wrapped around his neck, her boots hanging down his back, the thick, worn leather grazing his bare skin.

He worshipped her with his tongue, touching and biting and kissing until Nesta was a whimpering mess.

Her back arched and she groaned, the words rushing out of her on a heavy breath. “Cassian, gods, please, don’t stop.”

He obeyed, one of his thumbs rubbing slow, torturous circles on her clit while he fucked her with his tongue. He groaned as she shuddered, her legs like a vice around his head, his name like a reverent prayer, repeated over and over again.

She was on the edge, hardly managing to hold on as Cassian's mouth fell away, leaving her suddenly cold and bare, and just as she was about to protest, he was thrusting his cock into her, being anything but gentle. His pace was quick, steady, rough, his hands still holding onto her ass as his head fell back, his long, damn hair hanging loosely, brushing along his shoulders as his eyes rolled back into his head. 

Nesta leaned back, trying to find something to hold onto as he shook her body with his, leaving her off balance. She found nothing but the hard table beneath her, but Cassian's grip tightened against her skin as he cursed, brutally, beautifully.

“Fuck, I’ve missed your body,” he said, panting heavily. He looked down, watching as she unraveled around him. Her breasts shook and Cassian couldn’t take his eyes off of them.

Nesta leaned back on her elbows, letting her head roll back. “Baby. Hold on, wait, wait,” she said, sitting up and gently pushing his chest.

He froze, loosening the grip on her ass, but holding her tighter to him. “What? Are you okay?”

She pushed him back and he shuffled back, jeans still around his legs. She hopped off the table and turned around, rising up on her toes and lifting her ass. She looked over her shoulder at him, wiggling slightly.

Cassian nearly came at the sight of her in those boots, bent over his work bench, everything on display for him.

He hesitated, but not because he didn’t want to, but because he wanted to drink the sight in before him for as long as possible.

But she was waiting.

And he wouldn’t make her wait. 

He took her ass into his hands and positioned himself just right before pushing himself into her, slowly. A long, quiet moan fell from her body as her back arched and her ass lifted further, and Cassian reached around her, one hand finding her breast, the other rolling a slow, taunting finger over her clit as he found a slow, steady pace, thrusting his cock into her. He breathed in her scent as his teeth found the back of her neck, nipping at her skin.

“I love you so much,” Cassian breathed, resting his forehead between her shoulder blade. He pressed soft kisses up her spine until his mouth was by her ear. “Fuck, marry me, Nesta. Be my wife. Make me the happiest fucking man in the world.”

She gasped lightly and reached backwards, grabbing for his hip. He slowed and stopped, cock filling her as he paused with his hips flush to her ass, and she looked back at him, whispering, “What did you say?”

He brushed the loose hairs off her face and caressed her cheek softly. “Marry me, sweetheart. Not because of the baby, not because I think it’s the right thing to do. But because I love you. I will never love anyone the way I love you. It doesn’t have to be right now, it doesn’t even need to be soon after the baby comes, just…” He pressed another kiss to the middle of her back. “Say you’ll marry me, Nesta.”

Her breathing was ragged as she swayed her hips, a gentle movement that forced a moan to fall from his lips, muffled against the skin of her back.

“Of course I’ll marry you,” she breathed. “There’s nothing I want more. Soon, later, whenever. Yes, yes, yes.”

He kissed her neck, and down her spine as the breaths she took grew shaky, pulling out slowly as he did so. Then he slammed his hips into hers and she cried out his name as that pace resumed, his mind a mess of beautiful things and chaotic emotions that could only be brought on by the woman before him.

His future wife.

“I’m close,” he grunted, his fingers digging into her hips. “I want you to come with me, baby.” She whimpered, her head resting atop the table. “Let me feel that perfect pussy come on my cock.”

“Please, Cassian, please,” she panted. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Her knees began to quiver and Cass slipped his hand around, furiously rubbing her clit and it was only a matter of seconds before she was shattering around him, his name falling from her lips in a breathy moan.

Cassian’s heart was pounding inside of his chest as he spilled himself inside of her, his eyes falling shut as his head fell between her shoulder blades, his breath heavy, hot, against her skin as he moved in her, riding it out. For a moment, neither of them said a word, neither of them moved. The silence was filled with panting breaths and soft curses. 

Nesta could feel his heart thrumming against her back, wild and alive.

Her knees still shook, ever-so-slightly, and when he pulled himself out, she had to bite her lip from whimpering from the absence of him. Cassian gently pushed on her hips so that she'd turn to face him, and when she did, his hands met her abdomen in a gentle, tender touch. Then he met her gaze, and his hazel eyes were soft, thoughtful, not at all like they had been only moments before - wild, reckless. 

He kissed her, slowly, and whispered against her lips, “I love you.” 

Her arms wrapped around him, burying her face in his chest. “I love you, too.”

They cleaned up in silence, Cassian helping her pull the oversized sweatshirt back over her head. They were walking back towards the cabin when Nesta yawned and said, “I need to go make breakfast.”

Cassian kissed her forehead and said, “Go sleep. I’ll handle basic breakfast and let the guests know that we’ll be unavailable today.”

She nodded and rose up on her toes, kissing him. He watched her walk down the path before he turned and made his way up to the house. As he got closer he took a deep breath and realized he was smelling bacon cooking.

He entered through the back door, finding Feyre and Elain feeding the guests. He blinked. “Uh, good morning.”

Feyre refused to look at him. Elain sighed and asked, “Did you two make up?”

He looked at the clock above the stove. “Just spent the last hour and a half doing just that, yeah.”

“Gross,” Feyre mumbled, but she shot Cassian a smirk and he knew that he’d been forgiven.

Yesterday would not be forgotten. No, it was a very important moment in the story of who they were, but it was a day that would be treated as a lesson.

It was also the day that Nesta agreed to be his wife. But they didn’t need to know that yet.

[azumasoroshi]

i am in a storytelling mood and you all will now be forced to listen to it

So back in sophomore year, I had this final project for the end of the year. We had to make a book trailer with a partner, and our book was Patron Saints of Nothing by Randy Ribay. It's about this high schooler who goes to the Philippines to investigate why his cousin died.

Our school was not an art school; it was just a regular public high school, and so we were not expected to draw the whole thing. We were expected to find some videos, or film ourselves acting stuff out, or use Ken Burns effects on stock images in iMovie. My partner certainly thought that using stock images would be a good idea, and she legitimately saw no problem with the original "final product" of our iMovie low budget shitty production.

However, my dumbass was excited, because I liked animating and the plot of the book allowed for some very interesting imagery. I had ideas, oh so many ideas.

I was a fool.

Because the one fatal thing my dumbass forgot to take into consideration was that I was, and still am, a serial procrastinator.

(the trailer is below the cut)

So, after getting pretty much nothing done, midnight arrived on the due date. And I was terrified, but in that "eh it doesn't really matter" kind of terrified way because I was an emotionless husk and couldn't feel any emotions other than “welp”.

I had maybe 10 seconds done of what was roughly supposed to be a 1 minute and 30 second long video.

My English class started at 10:05.

“Well you had 10 hours, Soro-“ NO I DIDNT

because i had to LEAVE for school at 6:30 and i had chemistry, java, and health between 7:30 and 10:00 so i couldn’t do any of my work during those periods.

So I had about 6 hours to make an entire book trailer. Whoop.

I started off well enough with the Gising Na Ph! posts. Except I didn’t start off well at all and I spent at least two of my six hours trying to figure out how hands worked before finally letting go of any honor I had left in my being and just tracing stock images.

Now, my partner had gotten a few good images on her version of the movie, which she’d graciously sent to me so that I could scrap most of it. And I wasn’t intending to use any of them in the slightest, but by this point it was about 2 am, and I figured I should hustle a little bit. I was planning to import her iMovie into my iMovie and take the photos from there. Easy enough, right?

NO

The file got corrupted somehow and I had to reverse image search every single image that I wanted to use by screenshotting them from the movie rather than having the photos themselves. And for some inexplicable reason, I wanted to try to resemble my partner’s movie as closely as possible, which meant using the same photos. Could I have just found different stock photos? Yes. Was I in my right mind at the time? No. Did I even consider trying to find different photos? Not until 5 am.

Now, along with the movie being corrupted, that also meant that my partner’s recorded voice lines were inaccessible to me. That meant I had to record my own. At 5 am.

I have several friends who are very talented voice actors. They live in Britain, so it wasn’t too early for them. They’d already expressed that they were willing to help two weeks prior, back when I thought I wasn’t going to procrastinate. Should I have asked them? Hell fucking yes. Did I? Well, I just so happened to ask the only one of them that wasn’t awake at the time. Luck and reason are on my side, clearly.

5:30 am, I realized that my friend probably wasn’t going to answer on time. And it just so happened that one of my irl friends had woken up, for some ungodly reason like sleeping on time or something. I quite literally begged him to record two voice lines for me, and lo and behold, he actually did it. He sounded deader on the inside than me, but his character just so happened to require being dead inside, so that ended up working out. He recorded the voice lines on Notability. That was pretty funny.

(around 6 am my british friend saw my message and he was like oh shit whoops ill do it now and i had to awkwardly explain to him that i found a replacement. that wasnt a fun conversation to have at 6 am)

6:30 am I was in the car. The movie was almost done; I just needed one final image of Jun and Jay together, and I wasn’t going to find that on Google Images. I drew it during health class. My teacher definitely noticed and was probably pissed.

10:00 am. I actually went into the bathroom stalls during the 5 minute transition period between classes, pulled out my headphones, and listened to the whole thing just to check it over. (I’m overly paranoid about how loud my voice is in recordings due to a certain incident that won’t be explained in this post) It sounded fine. Everything was fine. It was all good.

10:05 am, English started. A few other groups went before me. I was ready to present. I had the movie open on my iPad, and I was resigned to my fate. I tried my hardest, somehow. That was enough. My partner hadn’t gotten to check over my movie at all, so she had no idea what was about to happen. That was fine.

11:00 am. Class...ended?

waiit shit that isn’t right. i spent all night working on that movie trailer and i didnt get to present it???

WELL, as it turns out, my AirPlay wasn’t working or something and the method of sharing to Google Drive was apparently too time-consuming, so I had to present the next day. A whole nother 24 hours, just handed to me like that. I could do anything I wanted with the movie in that period of time.

What the fuck.

“So you definitely removed the stock photos and made your movie even better in that time, right, Soro?” oh FUCK no dude i got home at 3, yelled to my friends for an hour about how mad I was, and then fell asleep at 4 pm and didn’t wake up until 6:00 am.

I presented this movie the next day.

I got an A+.

[fleetingpieces]

Everything we were CH 4

I was kinda waiting to post the chapters I already have for this fic, but work is keeping me hostage and I couldn’t finish MOIAM and I miss writing, so here ya go

Enjoy some marauders❤️

Special thanks to @knittingdreams for being such an amazing friend and beta❤️

Please check the tags for CW!

Masterlist ¦ Ao3

Chapter 4

“GRYFFINDOR!”

When the Hat announced that to the whole school, Sirius felt the blood leave his face. His thoughts were all jumbled. He had always felt a bit different than the rest of his family, and in the last few years he’d started drifting further and further away from them. But the Blacks had always been in Slytherin. Yes, he had thought about the possibility of this happening, and some part of him actually felt relieved, but it was still a shock to hear. His first reaction was to look up to the Slytherin table, smiling slightly at his cousin. When he saw Narcissa’s fuming glare however, his smile fell and he looked down. It had only been a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity before the gryffindors erupted in a wild applause and cheer.

He quickly took the Hat off and walked to the table, feeling dumbstruck, until his eyes found James’ and the boy gave him a thumbs up with a happy grin. Sirius relaxed a fair amount after that, kind of enjoying the bemused faces smiling up at him as he took a place on the bench.

The red haired girl from the train, Evans, was the second student to be placed in Gryffindor. Sirius tried to make some space for her, given that they were now housemates, but as soon as the girl recognized him, she threw a pointed look his way and promptly ignored him. Sirius rolled his eyes. What a stuck up.

Then a boy named Remus Lupin got called to the front and sat down with the Hat, shifting nervously. After only one second, Sirius saw the boy’s body go completely still, his face turning awfully pale. He wondered what the Hat could be telling him. But then the boy got sorted into Gryffindor as well; he came to sit down next to Sirius in a dazed state similar to the one he himself had been in.

Two more girls were consecutively placed in their house. The gryffindors were almost howling at this point, but Lupin was looking down, not noticing anything around them, stuck in his own thoughts. So Sirius decided to take the initiative. They were going to spend basically 7 years together after all.

“Hello.”

He was faced with bright amber eyes, and it was only then that Sirius realized it was the lad from the station. The boy gave him an apprehensive once over, before his eyes stopped at the sleeves of his robes and stayed there. Sirius tilted his head as the silence dragged by. Then Lupin’s head snapped up and he replied shyly.

“Um, hi.”

Sirius smiled, somehow reminded of Regulus. He thought about something to say, but before he could come up with anything interesting, the students around him started cheering again, and a pudgy blond boy sat in front of them. Sirius suddenly thought of James and tried to locate him between the remaining students, finding him just as he was called over by Professor McGonagall.

When James put the Hat on his head, a sudden fear took hold of Sirius. What if James was sorted into another house? They had bonded so quickly the thought hadn’t even occurred to him. They wouldn’t be able to spend much time together if they were in different houses, and what if Sirius couldn’t make other friends?

His thoughts were put at ease fairly quickly though, as James was sorted into Gryffindor as soon as his bum had touched the stool.

The rest of the evening was a breeze of happiness for Sirius, with just a little prick of doubt. He knew his family was a bit obsessed with the snake house and purebloods, but surely they wouldn’t hate him for this. He could still achieve great results at school even if he was a Gryffindor, and he’d never really liked Narcissa anyway, so she could just bugger off. His parents wouldn’t care, right? 

However, he forgot all about that uneasiness when they were guided through the castle to the common room, and he and James struck an animated conversation with Nearly Headless Nick. All in all, it was a great start of his school life.

 ***

 There was a draft coming from one of the windows of the big Charms classroom, making Remus shiver. He pulled at the sleeves of his jumper to cover his hands completely, the movement reminding him how uncomfortable he felt in his new uniform. He wasn’t used to clothes like this, most of his wardrobe at home was muggle. Jeans and sweatshirts were so much better than shirts, trousers and Merlin, that damned tie. How the hell was anyone able to make that thing look good and not a rumpled knot was beyond him. The only redeeming fact about the piece of clothing was whatever charm came with it. Remus had been surprised that morning before breakfast, when he’d gone through his trunk and found that his tie and the lines at the cuffs and neck of his jumper had changed from black to bright red and gold. He was faintly aware that he shouldn’t have been so surprised by it, but he just couldn’t help but try to figure out which spell was used on the school uniforms.

A loud thump beside him made him look up.

“Man, how did you find the classroom so fast? I’ve been wandering around for ages with those bloody staircases and whatnot. Had to ask a prefect to help me!” Pettigrew ranted, noticing with a weary glance that he was the last one in, but he seemed relieved that the class hadn’t started yet.

Remus gave him a noncommittal hum. He had been avoiding the other boys as much as he could since the feast last night, which wasn’t easy given that apparently all four of them would be sharing a dorm together. It made things so much more complicated. Remus had to take special care to get changed in their private bathroom, he didn’t want any of them seeing his body.

Pettigrew opened his mouth to say something more, but then Professor Flitwick appeared behind the desk, standing on top of a pile of books that didn’t look too steady, if you asked Remus.

“Alright students, please take out your wands,” he said with a squeaky voice. “Today we are going to learn about the Levitation Charm. This charm is an excellent test of your magical skills, wand control, and above all, patience!”

Remus felt the excitement filling him up. Finally, he would be able to try his new wand! He hadn’t dared use it at his house, to risk giving the Ministry an excuse to visit them and find out about him. No, Remus had been very careful and had pushed down on his anxiety.

But now he could finally try his hand at some spells!

Looking up at the Professor with bright eyes, he listened carefully to the explanation, taking in every detail of the demonstration. He actually knew most of the theory already, as he had read about it while at home.

“Now, try it yourselves. Don’t forget to do the right wand movement!”

Remus looked at the big white feather in front of him. To keep the nervousness from showing, he gripped his wand tightly, feeling a warm sensation spreading to his fingers. The students around him were chanting the spell out loud, the swish of wands drifting through the air, whoops of joy when someone got it right.

It’s ok, calm down already, Remus thought to himself.

He squared his shoulders, flicked his wand once…and nothing happened. His eyebrows drew together as he tried again. Nothing. He could clearly hear other students had succeeded already, but his feather was as unmoving as it had been when he’d set it on top of the desk. Maybe he was doing something wrong? After a few more tries with the same result, Remus started panicking. Was he not good enough? Did he have zero magical skill?  Would the Headmaster realize he’d made a mistake and send him back home?

Then a darker, scarier thought crossed Remus’ mind. What if it had to do with him being a creature? Was he too much of a monster already that he couldn’t use magic anymore? His condition had taken so much from him already, that he wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case. He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

Remus was scared to look up, but if his lack of magic was a characteristic of his kind, he had to make sure that no other student had noticed. No one could know. Glancing around, he saw Pettigrew waving his wand frantically, sweat forming on his forehead, the white plume in front of him lying lazily on the table. With a tiny bit of hope, he noticed that quite a few students were still having problems, even if most of them seemed to have gotten at least some reaction from their feathers. Except from him and Pettigrew, that is. Apparently, they were the only ones not accomplishing anything.

Remus exhaled a relieved breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He wasn’t a complete monster yet.

The teacher had said they would need patience, so he kept trying and trying, purposefully avoiding to look at Potter and Black, who were making their own quills clash around in the air while laughing. The theory was all in his head, the words and wand movement fresh in his memory, but he just couldn’t wrap his head around the way magic was supposed to work. The practical part of it was completely new, he had no reference as to what it should be like, as he hadn’t had any way to practice this at home.

Just as the bell rang, Remus felt something clicking in his head. The feather made a turn in the air, making his heart skip a beat, and he smiled happily as it hovered shakily in front of his eyes.

“Merlin, at least you were able to do it in the end,” said Pettigrew with a bitter scowl.

The pudgy boy had only managed to make his quill toss and turn on the table top. Remus gave him a sympathetic smile.

“I think yours was taking off that last time.”

Pettigrew's face lit up a bit, and Remus wondered if maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. Was that comment too friendly?

“Good on you, Lupin!” said a voice from behind them. Remus turned around to face Potter, who had Black sitting right next to him. “A lot of people don’t get it on the first lesson. At least that’s what my Dad said.”

Remus didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t tell if they were making fun of him or not. All the other students were leaving already, the sound of shuffling feet on the hallways filling the air. So he gave Potter a small nod and hurried out as well, leaving the boys slightly stunned. He knew he was being rude, but he didn’t know how else to interact with them. It would be better if he didn’t have to do that at all.

The first year gryffindors had some free time before lunch and, thinking about ways to keep himself busy, Remus decided to explore the castle a bit. It really was a pain to get around without getting lost, Remus had only found the classroom by following other students discreetly. He wanted to get acquainted with every hall and passage, and he really wanted to figure out the pattern of those bloody moving staircases. He’d nearly fallen five floors that morning when one of them started moving just as he was getting on.

Remus reached the hallway on the third floor, thinking about how nobody seemed to mention anything about the multiple dangerous things the school housed. Maybe that was why he’d been allowed to attend.

He was so distracted that he didn’t notice there was something in his way until he bumped face first into it. Rubbing his nose and cursing under his breath, he looked up to find Avery, the bulky first year from Slytherin, looking down his nose at him.

“Watch where you’re going, you dirty scum.”

The boy was barely a few inches taller than him, but he was wide; his arms were probably three times the size of Remus’. His short dark hair was cut in a way that made his jaw look sharper and his brown eyes harder. Avery had his arms crossed over his chest, studying Remus like he was a piece of meat. Remus raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him. 

The situation reminded him an awful lot of some experiences he’d had with some neighbourhood kids when he and his family had lived in East Sussex. Avery seemed like the kind of mindless bully that would love to pick on Remus just because of his small and scrawny complexion. Those other kids had certainly enjoyed making him their preferred target. But it was precisely because of that, that Remus knew to keep an eye on his surroundings and scurry when necessary. So he went around Avery, muttering a half-hearted apology and trying to move along, but was soon stopped by another figure that came from behind the slytherin.

“What’s the problem here?” a tall boy with platinum hair drawled. Remus contained a whine and looked up, he’d almost gotten away. There was contempt in the bloke’s voice as he looked at Remus. “Who are you?”

Remus silently studied the blonde for a second. The way he held himself, like he was royalty, was similar to Black’s, but different at the same time. His robes were equally expensive, he had a green and silver tie, and a badge pinned to his chest. Of course he was a prefect. Remus had that kind of luck. There was something in the older boy’s pale blue eyes that was making Remus’ hairs stand on end; he looked like he could be trouble, the kind Remus was aiming to avoid as much as possible.

“I’m Remus Lupin.”

“Lupin?” the prefect sneered. “I’ve heard about your father’s preferences. You are a half-blood.”

It wasn’t a question, so Remus didn’t deign to give him a reply. The way he’d said the last word though, as if it was rotten garbage in his mouth, had Remus frowning. What did that even mean? The bloke was making him nervous, and Remus tried not to shift in place. He didn’t want anyone looking at him that closely, let alone a prefect. No one could know.

“Um, who are you?” his voice sounded smaller than he would have liked, and Avery smirked as the prefect narrowed his eyes at Remus.

“Watch your mouth, boy. It’s Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy. You’d do well to remember my name.”

As Malfoy took a step forward, a large group of students appeared around the corner, almost bumping into them when they filled the whole corridor. Remus decided to use that chance to get away before things could get worse, and as the students walked past he blended in with them and disappeared into another hallway. He’d learn to recognize when someone was best to avoid, and Malfoy was definitely someone he didn’t want to cross paths with more than necessary.

Remus walked fast, trying to put as much distance between them as possible, and went in the first room he could find. Closing the door behind him, he leaned into it and closed his eyes. It was his first day of school, and he’d already had to escape from some possible bullies. He wasn’t kidding himself, the kids from his old neighbourhood had no idea why Remus was so weird, but he knew the students at Hogwarts would be able to tell if he showed enough signs, if they saw his scars. He hoped running away hadn’t made things worse.

Sighing, Remus opened his eyes again and was stunned to see where he’d ended up in his haste.

Books.

Thousands of books, right in front of him, neatly organized on shelves. He glanced around with his mouth slightly open. Rows and rows of bookcases, going from one wall to the other, filled the room. There were only a handful of windows that filtered the morning light, giving the space a calm atmosphere. A few students were sitting on the tables scattered all over the big room, but everything was so very quiet; the only sounds were those of quills going over parchment and pages turning.

Remus walked ahead, his eyes glued to all those old volumes, until he reached the front desk and a woman with a deep scowl appeared in his line of sight.

“Are you lost?” she barked.

She was looking at him as if he didn’t belong there. Remus felt himself shrink under that look, but the temptation was too much to just let it slide.

“No, um…are we allowed to borrow any of these books?” He knew that his eyes were wide, probably making him look a bit insane, but he couldn’t erase the expression from his face. To his surprise, the woman’s glare dimmed a little bit. Not enough to make her look less scary though.

“You can borrow any book, except for those on the Restricted Section.” She pointed to the back of the library, where a rope separated some books from the rest. “You’ll need a signed note from a teacher to have one of those checked out. The other books you can read here or take out of the library, if you get my permission first. But I warn you, if you tear, fold, smear or damage these books in any way, the consequences will be quite severe.”

She fixed him with a stern look, and Remus smiled shyly.

“I will be very careful, I promise.”

The librarian looked mildly surprised, but Remus wasn’t paying attention to her anymore. He was staring in awe at all the knowledge sitting in the room, waiting for him to dig into it. The charm they’d learned that morning had been harder than he’d expected, but he was pretty sure he had figured it out now. Maybe he could find a corner of the library to tuck himself away and practice some more. He could even find out which spells they would be learning, and try to learn them ahead of time to avoid himself more embarrassment. Remus hoped that if he practiced enough, he would be able to understand magic better and struggle less. Smiling to himself, he set off to explore the tall shelves.

[amarits]

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

So very many, but rather than go through them I’ll share a scene from Camp Murder. I’ve got a couple chapters of that one written that I keep almost posting. The kiddos are middle-schoolers attending a summer camp, and Roy is having a good ol’ sulk in the woods.

--

Roy had been following rabbit tracks for ten minutes when they stopped abruptly at a set of large cat tracks. He crouched beside them, studying the shape of the pads. Were those cougar tracks? This close to camp? He took pictures of the clearer tracks and started following them. Backwards, of course. The last thing he wanted was to actually find a cougar. But maybe if he could get an idea of where it was coming from, he’d know if it was a risk to the campers. Usually, cougars avoided areas with people. 

He followed the tracks on a winding path out of the thinner, friendlier woods that surrounded the camp into the thicker, untamed forest that stretched on for half the state. He and Ollie had hiked for days through this and never gotten close to the other side. 

In a mile, the flat ground would start rising in small hills that eventually became mountains. They usually did a camp trip to one of the smaller hills at the end of the week, and had a cookout at the top to celebrate “conquering the mountain”. He snorted. It was ridiculous. He and Ollie had climbed real mountains and that took days, not a couple of hours of casual walking. 

He lost the tracks at one of the low rock outcrops stretching out from the mountains. That was probably good. The mountains were where the cougar was supposed to be. Far from camp, and unlikely to bother them when they came out as a group. Still raised the question of why it had come so close in the first place, but maybe it was hunting a deer. 

He walked around the outcrop, looking for more tracks. He should probably start heading back towards camp. It was already going to be almost dinner by the time he got back, and Ollie was only gonna get angrier the later he was. 

His eye caught on another cougar track and he turned to inspect it. It was next to what appeared to be… shoe prints? 

“Hello!” a voice exclaimed at the same time that a small figure swung down to dangle upside down from a branch directly in front of him. 

“Jiminy Christmas!” Roy exclaimed, stumbling backwards and raising his hands in… was that supposed to be a martial arts position? Stupid. What was he going to do, karate chop the threat?

“What are you doing out here?” the figure asked. Now that it was still, Roy could see it was a boy about his age with black hair, blue eyes, and deeply tan skin. Mexican, maybe? His bright orange camp shirt hung down around his shoulders and he swung back and forth on the branch by his knees. 

“What am I doing out here?” Roy asked. “What are you doing out here?”

“Talking to the birds.” He had an accent, but it didn’t sound the same as the Mexican kids he’d met. More European.

“Talking to the… What are you, a Disney princess?” 

The boy grinned like that was a compliment instead of the insult it was meant to be. “Maybe.” He swung harder and let go with his legs, flipping to land on his feet in front of Roy. Roy stepped back to avoid being hit, but shouldn’t have bothered. The boy moved like he was born to fly. 

“I’m Dick,” he said.

“Roy,” Roy replied cautiously. “Do you even know where you are?” 

“Sure!” Dick exclaimed, turning his whole body to point. “Camp is that way.” 

Roy silently pointed in the actual direction, about 40 degrees clockwise from where Dick was pointing. He’d made sure to keep track of landmarks and the sun while he walked so he wouldn’t get lost. 

Dick kept his finger raised. “What makes you think you’re more right than me?” 

“I live here,” Roy said, also continuing to point steadily in the correct direction. He could keep this up as long as Dick could.

“In the woods?”

“Basically. My dad’s a counselor. I’ve been here for months.”

“Huh,” Dick said, mulling this over as he lowered his hand. “That sounds awful.”

“I know, right!” Roy exclaimed. It was the first time someone had said “awful” instead of “great” or “fun” and he felt vindicated. “I am so tired of everything. You’re new, though. Why’d you skip out on activities?”

“They were trying to make us sit still and make bracelets and it was sooooo boring.” As if to punctuate his point, Dick flipped backwards into a perfect handstand, and then just stayed on his hands while he talked. “I asked to use the bathroom, and then a bird was singing at me and that seemed way more interesting so I followed it.” He whistled in an actually pretty good imitation of a chickadee. 

Roy felt weird talking to Dick’s feet, so he crouched to look him in the face. “Well, you’re lucky I found you. You’d probably be lost forever and die.”

Dick didn’t seem at all concerned, which probably meant he was stupid, but at least he was interesting.

“What are you doing out here?” Dick asked, swinging his legs back and forth without his upper body moving at all.

“Following cougar tracks.”

“Cougar?” Dick asked. Roy wasn’t sure if he didn’t recognize it because he was used to a different name for them or if English wasn’t his first language.

“Puma,” Roy said. “Mountain lion.”

At ‘lion’, Dick’s face lit up and he flipped back onto his feet. “Where?”

Roy pointed at the ground under him. “You’ve trampled all over that one.” 

Dick lifted a foot and looked down at the muddled track under his hand and shoe prints. “Whoops.”

“I’m sure there’s another one nearby,” Roy said, searching in the direction the cat seemed to be coming from. There were more shoe prints. Big ones. He glanced back at Dick’s feet. Definitely too big to be his. Poachers, maybe? He scowled. That would explain why the cougar left its territory. 

“What?” Dick asked, trailing behind him.

“Nothing. Here.” He pointed at another pawprint. This one also had a shoe print overlapping the edge, but it was cleaner. 

Dick hurried over and stared down at it. His eyes narrowed and he tilted his head. “That’s not a lion track,” he said. “It’s a tiger.”

“It’s not either,” Roy said. “Mountain lion. Lions and tigers live in Africa.”

“Not all of them,” Dick said.

“All the ones that don’t live in zoos.”

“Nuh uh,” Dick insisted. “We have a tiger.” Roy rolled his eyes at the blatant lie. “We used to have a lion too, so I know what the prints look like.”

“Mountain lion,” Roy repeated. “You don’t even know what animal I’m talking about. Mountain lions are smaller and eat deer.” He held a hand at about waist height. He thought that was right. He’d never actually seen one in person, though he and Ollie had turned around a few times when they saw tracks. 

“Then this is definitely a tiger,” Dick said. “Because the prints are tiger-sized.”

Roy gave up on trying to talk sense to him, following the shoe prints instead. It looked like there was more than one style of tread, but it was harder to tell on the dusty slope up the rocky outcrop. They were big, though. Definitely not kids. Could be counselors, but he didn’t think it was likely. Could be a band of poachers. They followed the cougar, not perfectly aligned, but definitely traveling parallel. 

“What are you doing?” Dick asked, following. While Roy tried to walk lightly, separate from the trail he was following, Dick barged through like Godzilla entering Tokyo, destroying the path underfoot. At least we’ll have no problem knowing which way we came from, he thought, annoyed.

“Tracking poachers,” he said. “Probably. I guess they could just be campers.” He didn’t think so, though. Not with how closely they were following the cougar tracks.

Though to be fair, that’s what he and Dick were doing too.

Dick gasped. “They want to kill the tiger?”

Roy felt the last of his patience slipping away. “It’s not a ti—!” His voice didn’t so much trail off as just stop, the rest of his word swallowed by a silence more complete than the end of their voices and steps. There were no bird sounds, he realized. He should have noticed earlier. Prey animals disappeared when predators were around. 

At the top of the outcrop, a man lay much too still, a bleeding gash in his side. Roy knew he was dead before his inhale became an exhale. There was too much blood. His skin was too white. He thought he could see actual guts through the sliced skin, and he was not going to throw up. He was not going to…

Oh, god. He had to at least check. He knew first aid and CPR and pretty much every emergency medical procedure they’d teach a thirteen-year-old. Normally when he was hiking, he had a simple med kit in his pouch, but he didn’t have it, didn’t have any gear at all because he hadn’t planned to be hiking. Stupid, stupid. Ollie had taught him to always be prepared, and the first time his training would have come in handy he was completely useless.

Dick reached the man before him, crouching down and pressing his hands against the open wound. Roy felt like he was pushing through water while Dick ran alongside him on the shore. He finally reached them what felt like minutes later, falling to his knees next to Dick and reaching for the man’s throat. He adjusted his fingers three times.

“There’s no pulse,” he said, his voice sounding hollow to his own ears.

“There must be something we can do!” Dick exclaimed, pushing harder against the wound.

“We can’t save someone who’s dead!” Roy yelled. His eyes lingered on the blood trailing over Dick’s hands. It took his brain a few minutes to register why. The wound was fresh, or it wouldn’t still be bleeding. Recent like the cougar attacked the man, then wandered a couple of miles towards the camp?

Or recent like it came back?

“Dick, we need to go,” Roy said, standing up and backing away, looking into the woods around them for any sign of the big cat. Or anything, really. The birds were still silent. He didn’t hear any rabbits, or squirrels. He didn’t hear anything. 

“We can’t just leave him!” Dick said, turning tear-filled eyes towards him.

“He’s dead!” Roy repeated. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. No signal, of course. It barely even got a signal in the camp. He and Ollie had high-powered walkie talkies and SEND devices for hiking, but he didn’t bring his because he was stupid. 

He turned on the camera instead and started taking pictures. The body with Dick still holding his blood-stained hands to the wound. The surroundings. Anything that might be a landmark.

“What are you doing?” Dick snapped, like he thought Roy was some kind of sick paparazzi. 

“We need to go get someone and bring them back here,” Roy said. “I can get us back to the camp, but I’m not positive I could find our way back here.” He pocketed his phone, still backing up. “Come on, I’m serious. We need to…” 

He stopped. Dick’s head snapped up at the same time, so Roy knew he heard it too. Something that sounded like deep breathing, like a motorcycle revving up, like purring broadcast through a sound speaker. He jerked his head back and forth, trying to find the source and not seeing anything. 

You weren’t supposed to run from a cougar. They’d think you were easy prey. You were supposed to try to look big and intimidating. Fight back if you had to. Grab a stick or a rock. 

But he didn’t see it. It might not see them. It would be a lot simpler to just not encounter it at all than to convince it they weren't easy prey. They were such easy prey. Who was he even trying to kid?

“Run,” he whispered.

Dick didn’t have to be told twice.

[starvonnie]

Love Languages

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Fandoms: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types Relationship: Megatron/Rodimus | Rodimus Prime Characters: Megatron (Transformers),Rodimus | Rodimus Prime Additional Tags: Kissing, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, In a way, Suggestive Themes

Prompt: Patience

Also on AO3 “Be patient with him.”

That had been Drift’s advice when Rodimus broke the news to him that Megatron and him were now “a thing.”  He’d little more to say on the matter at all.  Just that he was happy for him.  Oh, and that he’d kill Megatron if he hurt Rodimus.  Which was fair.

Rodimus regretted that he hadn’t really asked for clarification on what he’d meant.  Be patient with what?  Did he just need a lot of foreplay or something?  

Whatever.  He didn’t dwell too much.

They kept to themselves for a little while.  Just long enough to spread the news to close friends and to smooth things over with Ultra Magnus before it got to the rumour mill. It took a week or so before they decided to just announce it (which was weird and awkward… but necessary), so now the whole ship knew.  Now they could just be a normal couple, right?

Rodimus strolled onto the bridge happily, for once. He walked right up to Megatron, touched his arm, and went to get up onto the fore of his pedes when Megatron took a half-step away.

“Good morning, Rodimus.”

Rodimus tried not to look hurt.  “Morning.”

Megatron awkwardly patted his hand, then got back to what he’d been doing.

Rodimus sheepishly made his way to the office, feeling optics on him.  The day passed slowly in a haze of rejection and paperwork.

The next day, he tried to walk normally and keep up a smile.  Again, he made a beeline for Megatron.  This time, he wasn’t engrossed in any work, and noticed Rodimus before he got to him. He went to do the same thing, and again, he stepped out of his reach.

“What gives?” Rodimus hissed.

“We’re at work.”

“Hmph.  Fine.” Rodimus stewed for a bit, but managed to lose himself in his work.  Plus, it was easy to look forward to the end of the day.  Megatron had agreed to go with him to Swerve’s for trivia night. If I must, he’d said.  

Still.  They wouldn’t be at work.  He couldn’t refuse a kiss then, right?

“I’ve got an idea to make this a little more interesting,” Rodimus said later, sitting across the table from Megatron.  

“Oh?”  Megatron looked wary.

“Well, I know most of the people here are on teams, but what if we competed?”

“I thought the point of this night was to be a couple’s thing?” Megatron asked, looking confused.

Rodimus shrugged.  “It’s not like a rule or anything.  That’s just what tends to happen.  But we’re both pretty smart, so I think it’d be fun to see who’s the smartest.”

Megatron shrugged.  “If that’s what you want.”

“Hold on, I’m not finished.  I haven’t gotten to the stakes.”

“I’m beginning to regret agreeing to this.”

Rodimus rolled his optics, annoyance creeping into his field.  “Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad.  I just figured that if one of us gets an answer wrong that the other gets right, the one who got it wrong owes the other a kiss.  Kind of a win-win situation, y’know?”

“Or you could just ask for a kiss.”

“Come on, Megs,” Rodimus whined.  “Can’t we just have a little fun?  Please?”

Megatron sighed.  “Alright, Rodimus.”

Fortunately, or unfortunately for Rodimus, they were both either really good at trivia or Swerve was really bad at coming up with trivia questions.  Either way, they hadn’t gotten any answers wrong.  It was time to take matters into his own hands.

“Whoops, looks like I got that one wrong,” Rodimus said, sarcastically feigning disappointment.  “Darn! Looks like I owe you a kiss.”  He crooked a finger at Megatron, pursing his lips slightly.

“Here?”

“… Yeah?”

Megatron shook his helm.  “Just keep a tally or something.  I’ll give them to you once we’re back at our habsuite.”

The rejection stung again, but at least he was able to soothe it with that fact that Megatron had called it our habsuite.

“Fine,” Rodimus muttered.

He had no trouble getting the rest of the questions right.

At least when they were walking back, Rodimus managed to capture Megatron’s hand and he didn’t take it back.  He seemed surprised at first, but then squeezed back with a smile on his face.  What weird rules did Megatron follow?

Whatever.  They were holding hands and heading back to their room together.  And maybe once they were inside…

Finally, Rodimus got his kiss.  He’d been so starved for kisses that the first one sent a rush of electricity through his frame.  His knees literally felt weak.  Really, every trope he’d ever heard was taking over his frame.  He did his best to steer them towards the berth, but he had no strength in his limbs.  Megatron had to be the one to do it.

“Satisfied?” Megatron asked with a little smirk.

“With you?”  Rodimus pulled him down again.  “Never.”

Rodimus wished the hands sitting courteously on his waist would slide lower.  After all, it had been long enough.  Too long, in Rodimus’ opinion.  If Megatron were one of his exes, they’d be getting into the kinky stuff right now. But here he was, stuck on first base.

Maybe he was just being cautious.  There were a couple conspiracy theories circulating around the ship.  One was that he’d manipulated Rodimus or was blackmailing him.  The other suggested literal brainwashing.  So… Rodimus would just have to make his intentions crystal clear.

Rodimus fixed Megatron with a lustful gaze.  He softly bit Megatron’s bottom lip during their next kiss and tugged on it as he pulled back.  With a sultry smile thrown over his shoulder, he guided Megatron to the berth and lay down.  He put his hands above his helm and spread his legs a bit, giving himself wholly to Megatron.  Wherever he wanted to touch, he could.

“Could you move over a bit?” Megatron asked, a little irritation in his voice.

Rodimus gave him an annoyed look, but obliged.

“For someone your size, you manage to take up most of the berth,” Megatron commented as he climbed in.

“We’re supposed to share,” Rodimus said.

“And that’s a two-way street.”

Rodimus stifled a frustrated growl and rolled onto his side.  He pressed himself flush to Megatron’s frame and kissed him again.  At least he seemed to be okay with this.  

Trying to be subtle, he slid his hand down Megatron’s frame. Just before it got to his array, however, Megatron grabbed his wrist.  He froze, his field crackling with confusion as he met his lover’s gaze.

“Sorry,” he said, when he realized how forceful he’d been. He lifted his hand to kiss where he’d hurt.  “Not tonight. I’m a little too tired for that.”

Not tonight?  More like, not ever.  Why didn’t Megatron want to frag him?  Did he not think he was hot?

“Okay…”  Rodimus tried not to let it show, but disappointment flooded his field.  His spoiler fell, too.

Megatron lifted Rodimus’ fallen chin.  He kissed him and pulled him close, instead.  It was nice, but… all of these rejections were piling on top of each other and weighing him down.

Did Megatron not want him anymore?  Maybe there was something to those conspiracy theories…

It didn’t help when he woke up in berth, alone. Tears pricked at his optics.  He was going to look so stupid in front of everyone when they found out he’d already managed to screw things up.  This was Megatron.  He should be happy anyone looked his way!  And why go to all the trouble of telling people and announcing things and even filling out paperwork because of their “working relationship?”

Well, frag him.  He can go to hell and he wasn’t even that hot and—

Rodimus cursed when he knocked over a glass on the nightstand and spilled energon everywhere.  He was already berating himself for forgetting about leaving it there when he saw the note.

Had to leave for an emergency.  It’s nothing major, and I can handle it.  

Ah.  He hadn’t forgotten.  But that meant he’d spilled what Megatron had left for him.

Sighing, but feeling a little better about things, Rodimus cleaned up the mess and mixed his own ration before heading to the bridge. He was thankful Megatron was in the office when he got there.  After checking in with Ultra Magnus, he went to the office, ensuring that he left the door wide open, since he could feel Magnus’ optics on his back.

“Thanks for dealing with whatever.  And for getting me my ration.”  He left out that he spilled it.

“You’re welcome, Rodimus.  I know you forget some mornings and the last thing we need is a cranky mech capable of creating fire.”  He smiled at him.

Rodimus chuckled.  He considered trying for another kiss, but decided against it.

He nodded towards the stack of data pads.  “A lot of paperwork today, huh?”

“I’ve got it today.  You go keep an optic on things out there.”  Megatron gave him a small smile.

“Okay.  And, um… we’re still on for tonight, yeah?”

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

 Rodimus had gone through every possible reason for why Megatron might be late until he landed on the only one that really made sense.

He wasn’t late; he wasn’t coming.

He dangled his pedes into the oil reservoir, pointedly choosing to not look at the stars.  Maybe then he could just pretend he wanted to be here alone.  It wasn’t meant to be romantic.  Maybe he was just checking the integrity of the oil, or making sure they had enough or…

Or maybe he was alone because he was so undesirable that even Megatron didn’t want him.  He was ready to slink back to his habsuite—his, not theirs—and cry himself to sleep when he heard the door open.

“I’m so sorry I’m late, Rodimus.”

“Oh, did we have something planned?” Rodimus said sarcastically.  “Well, there goes my plans to drown myself.”

Megatron sighed as he took a seat next to Rodimus. He refused to look at him.  He’d see anger in his optics, yes, but also the tears threatening to escape.

“I was on my way here when I saw Brainstorm… being Brainstorm.  I had to get him to stop what he was doing and then find some experiment to give him permission for that wouldn’t blow up the ship or tear a hole in the time-space continuum.  You know how he is.”

“Yeah, and I know how you are,” Rodimus said bitterly.

“I truly am sorry, Rodimus.  I wanted to be here.”

“Uh huh.  Just like you wanted to kiss me all those times, or, or frag the night before or like a week ago or when you wouldn’t hold my hand, or…”  Rodimus clenched his denta to keep himself from crying. He must already look so pathetic. He certainly sounded pathetic. It all sounded so petty when he gave voice to his thoughts.

“I’m sorry, Rodimus, this is… difficult for me.”  He sighed again.  “I apologize.  I didn’t realize this was weighing on you so heavily.”

“I don’t care.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Yeah!  Well!  If you don’t want me why did you even agree to date me?”  He turned flaring optics his way.  His anger fizzled out a bit when he saw the apology in Megatron’s gaze.

“Because I do want you.”

Rodimus scoffed.  “You’ve got a great way of showing that.”  He swiped at the one errant tear that leaked from his optic.

Megatron took one of Rodimus’ hands in both of his. He sighed, deflating.  “Let me explain.  I should have told you this from the start, but…”  He looked away.  “I suppose I was hoping I would just be able to get over it, but it’s clear that won’t happen just because I get to court a beautiful mech.”

Rodimus said nothing, but a blush tinged his cheeks pink.

“I’m sure you know that war can change someone.” He met Rodimus’ gaze, but wasn’t able to hold it.  “For me, one of those changes was touch.  Affection, really.  It’s…” He sighed again.  “Believe me when I say I want to hug you and kiss you and everything you want me to do.  And I will, eventually.  It will just take me a little longer.”

“Oh.”

Megatron brought Rodimus’ hand to his mouth and kissed it.

“But… I mean, you let me kiss you when we’re alone,” Rodimus said.  “So it’s clearly not the kiss that’s the problem.”

“It’s not inherently the problem, but, yes, it’s easier to do when we’re alone.  I was caught off-guard at Swerve’s.  But if we’re on the bridge we won’t be kissing.  We’re at work.  We have to be professional.”

“Fine.”

“For everything else, though, it’s… complicated. The want is there, but doing it…”

Rodimus put his free hand over Megatron’s.

Megatron looked up and smiled at him.  “I think I’m just having trouble letting my guard down. It has nothing to do with you.”

“Okay… so… what can I do?”

“If you want to do something, just ask me.  At least for now.  Whenever you…”  His face scrunched up in thought.  “You know when you hear a loud noise you weren’t expecting?  How your weapons seem to power up on their own?  Or your plating clamps down to prepare for a fight?”

“Yuuuup.  Fun stuff.”

“It’s like that.  In a way.  If I’m not expecting someone to touch me, well, that could be someone coming to stab me in the back.  Or you’re trying to get me to let my guard down to launch an attack when I’m not prepared.  And before you say anything, yes, I know how crazy it sounds.  I’m working on it with Rung.  Because I know you don’t want to hurt me.  I’m fighting my instincts here.  Instincts that kept me alive for millions of years.  I’ll get there, eventually.”

Drift’s words made a lot more sense now.

“Okay.  I’ll be patient with you.  But you gotta be patient with me, too.  Or understanding, I guess.  I’m pretty touchy-feely.  If I’m honest, I thought you’d just already gotten tired of me.”

Megatron chuckled and then gave him a sympathetic look. “I don’t think anyone could tire of you.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Well, I can’t see it happening with me.  That being said, can I kiss you?”

Rodimus beamed.  “Of course.”

[immortalled]

Some highlights and trivia from the Misfits series 1 scripts that no one asked for (extremely long post ahead):

Episode 1

- Jeremy feels somewhat more manipulative and selfish. It’s nothing new that he’s the reason Louise kicked Nathan out, but there’s a deleted scene where he comes in immediately after Louise has booted Nathan, Louise is crying, and he just tells her “You’re doing the right thing. We need this.” And I dunno. I get it, but somehow seeing it just makes the whole situation feel scummier. I could be biased.

- After getting her powers and losing her fiancé, Kelly cries all night. Again, no surprise, but it hurts getting confirmation. :(

Episode 2

- The old woman Nathan pushes in a wheelchair does in fact roll out the door when he lets go. RIP Joan. Some say that if you listen carefully, you can hear her still rollin’ to this day.

- The old “SHE’S STEALING YOUR PENSION” war vet is named Stan. Stan has some serious PTSD. Please protect Stan.

- Alisha thinks Sally is lesbian. 

- Simon’s wardrobe is inspired by Joy Division’s Ian Curtis. I’ve never seen Curtis dance, but apparently Rheon incorporated some of Curtis’ dance moves into Simon’s character.

- There’s a deleted scene where the gang finds Nathan in the community centre, staring sadly at a photo of Ruth which has been put up in her memory. Robert really keeps playing the same characters, doesn’t he?

Episode 3

- When Kelly and Jodi are fighting, Socha accidentally headbutts Mojekwu for real. Whoops.

Episode 4

- The athletic segments are filmed at the Crystal Palace Athletics Stadium. 

- In a deleted scene, Kelly calls Simon a “good-looking bloke” and tells him he should get a girlfriend. She also says that “loads of girls like sweet, quiet guys”. Simon is touched by this and immediately asks if she’s single.

- Nathan was only supposed to kiss the bowling ball. Of course Sheehan had to be weird and lick it instead. Disgusting.

- Simon’s jerk friend, Matt, sounds a little less like a jerk in the script. He’s actually guilty and feels more sympathetic. Doesn’t make him embarrassing Simon in front of everyone any better, though. 

- The original plan was for Simon to turn against the main cast and evolve into a supervillain by the end of season 1, which is one reason why Simon is so horribly creepy in S1 (namely perving on the girls). 

- Confirmation that Simon is excited by vulnerable / unconscious girls. #yikes

- Nathan’s dad, Mike, is named “Gareth” in the script. “Gareth” canonically thinks Nathan is an “inconvenience”. 

- Tony’s surname was originally “Warren” instead of “Morecombe”.

Episode 5

- There’s a note in the script that says “Curtis’ rap during his self-assessment therapy with Sally is the only improvised dialogue in the whole of Series 1“ and I’m not entirely sure, but I think that’s probably a typo. Either we missed out on Curtis’ special hidden talent for rapping, or that should say “Nathan” and Sheehan adlibbed the Ruff In The Jungle Business. I think the latter is more likely. 

- Sally tells Simon in a deleted scene that she was teased as a child for being fat. 

- Simon, while talking to Sally at the pub about trying to burn Matt’s house down, has a wave of guilt about peeking up Kelly’s skirt outside the club in the last episode. 

- Confirmation that Sally begins to have genuine feelings of attraction toward Simon. #yikes yikes

- The scene with Nathan picking up the baby took over half a day to shoot because the babies kept crying.

- Kelly originally snaps Nathan out of Finn’s hypnotism by pushing herself into his thoughts. Which I think is fascinating because I don’t remember her telepathically communicating with characters before.

- The BMX footage that Simon shows Sally is supposed to be Superhoodie. Hello, plot-holes and paradoxes.

- In a deleted scene, Nathan says he’s jealous that Kelly has “two powers”; being able to hear other people’s thoughts and talk to people telepathically. Seriously sad that this ability was removed in the final cut.

- In another deleted scene, Simon suggests that maybe their powers are changing. Kelly seems to agree. Rachel and a lot of Virtue symbolism also appear early; the gang unknowingly disrespect Rachel by sloshing water on one of her Virtue banners and walking over/on it as they pass.

- Yikes. Deleted scene that alludes to Nathan’s possible alcohol problem with a shot of the community centre’s kitchen and all the empty bottles. 

- In another deleted scene, after Kelly questions Nathan about his dad, Nathan complains (revealingly) about Kelly getting in his head. Things get a little flirty, Kelly teases him and serves potato letters with the chicken nuggets. She spells “PRICK” out on Nathan’s plate. It’s really cute.

- Not only was Simon supposed to be the supervillain, but he was supposed to die at the end of season 1.

Episode 6

- “Virtue” was originally called “Respect”, but had to be changed because a political party used the same name. 

- The girl in the opening scene, the one Alisha knew from school, is Ellie. Presumably the same Ellie Alisha mentions in episode 1. 

- The two other Virtue members that pass the gang are named Danny and Lucy.

- This deleted scene was too good not to write out. Simon, Kelly, and Nathan are discussing how to solve their Virtue problem and save Curtis and Alisha:

NATHAN relents, thinks a moment, has an idea...

NATHAN: Okay. How about we spike them?

KELLY’s exasperated.

NATHAN: We get them off their tits on acid. They’re hallucinating so bad they puke. When they come down, maybe they’re back to normal.

SIMON: D’you think that’ll work...?

NATHAN: Hands up who has a better idea.

Neither SIMON nor KELLY put their hand up. 

NATHAN: Then I’ll call my dealer...

NATHAN whips out his phone.

Cutting to a character that was revealed in another deleted scene that I didn’t list, Chewy. Massive stoner, surrounded by a variety of pills, yada yada. Chewy’s phone rings, he answers.

NATHAN: Chewy? It’s Nathan. Can you sort us out with some trips?

CHEWY: I don’t deal drugs any more.

We now see that CHEWY is using his other hand to comb his previously unruly hair into a neat side parting, which looks utterly ridiculous...

CHEWY: Nathan, mate. I’m telling you, drugs are bad news.They lead to a life of crime, mental illness and prostitution. 

NATHAN’s horrified by the response. He quickly ends the call, looks at KELLY, who can see there’s something badly wrong...

NATHAN: (appalled) They’ve got to him... Chewy... That boy’s been stoned every day since he was twelve. (angry, jabbing a finger) She’s gone too far this time. She has crossed the line.

- When Simon and Nathan are being surrounded by Virtue, Simon was supposed to punch Nathan instead of push him away.

- In the original script, when Simon was supposed to be evil, he kicked Nathan to the ground then battered him bloody with a baseball bat. In the storyboards, it looks like Simon intends to kill him. Nathan barely manages to escape thanks to Simon being interrupted by Virtue. 

- Superhoodie was originally introduced in a series of short online films recorded by Simon.

- In a deleted scene, Nathan takes refuge from Virtue in a place called Bar X. The scene was meant to be set up as a reference to The Shining. It’s empty. Nathan gets drunk and starts to reminisce with the bartender, James, about underage drinking, pulling girls, and how many times he’s gotten sick in the toilets there. There’s some odd tension in this scene between Nathan and James and I’m not sure what it is, but it’s amusing. 

- Nathan’s scene with Kelly in her flat is longer. There were some funny lines about her track suit and a lot more awkward fumbling as he tries to compliment the chav look. 

- There was supposed to be a Vegas Baby-esque montage of Nathan “arming” himself and getting dressed to infiltrate Virtue. We were ROBBED. 

- Kelly was supposed to stroke Nathan’s hand affectionately after putting his iPod in the coffin with him. R O B B E D .

- The graveyard scenes were filmed at Kensal Green Cemertary.

- Many of the people in the club after the funeral are Virtue members. 

[peachy-beomie]

Holding You In My Heart (Until I Can Hold You In My Arms) <KUNTEN>

Genre: Fluff

Pairings: Kunten (Qian Kun x Ten Lee)

Word Count: 1,643

Warnings: None!

Synopsis: COVID AU in which Kun sets up a bunch of cute zoom dates for him and his boyfriend.

A/N: I got bored and I really want to start working on my masterlist so I decided to post this :D

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29410125

From: qiankunprod@gmail.com

To: chittaphonleechaiyapornkul@yahoo.com

Join Zoom Meeting

{zoom link}

I stare quizzically at the email that pops up on my screen, interrupting my FRIENDS marathon. The message comes from none other than my boyfriend Kun, who’s been spending all of quarantine so far looking for ways for us to go on dates.

When COVID hit, Kun and I were forced to confine ourselves in our respective apartments, limiting contact. It hasn’t been too hard thus far, we call and text everyday without fail. Simple good mornings and silly pictures of my cat sufficed for the first month or so. But as the quarantine dragged on, I began missing Kun’s face more and more. We hadn’t been on a proper date in god knows how long, and it was starting to impact my mental health.

Curiosity consumes me as I click the link, awaiting whatever dorky plot Kun had conjured up. Within seconds his lopsided grin filled my screen and drew a small smile from my lips.

“Hi Sunshine!” He greets cheerfully, the familiar pet name bringing warmth to my cheeks.

“Heya baby, what’s this about?”

“Nothing, just missed you.” Kun’s tone has a hint of mischief that doesn’t go unnoticed by me. But playing along with Kun is way more fun than interrogating him.

“Mmm not as much as I missed you. You sure there’s no special reason for this?” I can see Kun’s eyes sparkling despite the low quality graphics.

“Weeeeellllllll I suppose I did want to ask if you’d want to go on a date?”

“A date? How would we do that?”

“Like this!” Kun gestures eagerly at the screen. “Through zoom! I found all kinds of fun things we can do.”

“And when would we do this?”

“I mean I’m free now…” Kun suggests, eliciting a giggle from me. Sometimes Kun’s cuteness is unbelievable.

“That works for me. What’d you have in mind baby?” Kun’s eyes sparkle mischievously.

“Wanna get your ass whooped at Mario Kart?”

“In your d r e a m s Qian.”

⏳

After that initial date, zoom dates with Kun became a frequent occurance. Kun wasn’t kidding when he said he had a lot of ideas. He set up so many dates ranging from movie nights (“You know he comes back in the next movie right?” “TOM HOLLAND IS TOO HOT TO DIE KUN.”) to a talent show consisting mostly of magic and Louis ignoring my attempts to make him do tricks. I began to look forward to each and every one of the meetings. Especially if it’s my turn to plan the date (“It’s more fun playing Just Dance against you cause you’re uncoordinated and I always win.” “Shut up.”). Dates with Kun made quarantine far more tolerable, though I still missed cuddling with Kun. The teddy bear he sent me as a replacement was a kind gesture though.

I hold it close as I watch Kun struggle to repeat the steps I taught him. A small chuckle escapes my lips, and Kun immediately turns to me with a pout.

“Don’t laugh, I think I’m doing alright.”

“Oh yeah at this pace you’ll be in level 2 hiphop in no time,” I joke, only laughing harder at the huff Kun lets out. “I wasn’t laughing at you darling, just thinking about how much I love you.” The older boy looks slightly stunned by my confession but he’s beaming from ear to ear within seconds.

“I love you too Sunshine.”

***

“It’s way too salty.”

“I told you the recipe didn’t call for a cup of salt but you wouldn’t listen!!!” I giggle at my exasperated boyfriend before putting the failed noodle dish in the sink.

“Maybe I should hire a better teacher.”

“Good luck finding someone else who’ll tolerate your bullshit like I do,” We both chuckle at that. “Are you available for another date Friday night?”

I pretend to think it over before shrugging, “I suppose I can fit you into my schedule.” Kun glares cutely at me through the screen. “What do you have planned?”

“It’s a surprise.” Kun wiggles his eyebrows for emphasis.

“Sounds mysterious.”

“Well if I recall correctly you love suspense,” Kun muses, “You in?”

“Of course.”

Kun tries to keep up his mysterious demeanor, but the way he visibly lights up at my confirmation is impossible to miss.

“Then I’ll see you in 3 days sunshine.” And with a final wink, he ends the meeting.

Cheeky fucker.

⏳

Finding the patience to wait for Kun’s surprise proved quite challenging. I couldn’t help but mull over what on earth the older man had planned. The existence of the mystery lifted my previously sour mood, but I couldn’t for the life of me solve for x while Kun’s gleeful words raced through my head.

After nearly an hour of staring at the same math question, I decide planning my outfit would be a better use of my time. Considering I have no idea what Kun is planning, I try to pick an outfit that’s casual but also pretty. I didn’t want to overdo it (it’s only a zoom date after all) but I also wanted Kun to know I tried. I tear my closet apart for about 20 minutes before settling on my favorite white tee and jeans. I also opt to do a little makeup, knowing Kun would appreciate it. Showering, makeup, and hair take up the rest of my time and before I know it, it’s time for our zoom date.

It appears I wasn’t the only one looking forward to the date because even though I logged on a whole 5 minutes early, Kun was already waiting to admit me.

“Someone’s excited.” I tease, proud of the light pink that dusts kun’s cheeks

“I’m the host, what’s your excuse?” He chuckles lightly. “You look gorgeous Sunshine.”

“Not so bad yourself,” my teasing tone barely disguises the obvious want in my voice. Cause Kun. Looks. Adorable. It’s not that he’s dressed up, not at all actually. He’s dressed somewhat similarly to me, drowning in a plain collared long sleeve. The sleeves are long enough to cover his hands, giving him sweater paws that make him appear not only soft, but tiny. His chocolate brown hair is mussed up, only adding to the overall image. To top it all off, he seems to be wearing a little bit of lip balm. I have never wanted to kiss someone so bad in my entire life.

“You frozen there lovebug?” Kun’s amused comment breaks me out of my stupor.

“Nope, just enjoying the view,” I wink nonchalantly once again relishing in the blush rising up Kun’s neck. “So what’s your plan?”

“You should be finding out in about…” He checks his watch dramatically, “5 minutes.” I could only giggle in response as I watched my boyfriend, eyes gleaming with mischief. As I may have mentioned previously: Kun is a dork. He enjoys setting up dates a lot (maybe a bit too much). He likes to come up with weird creative ideas for us to try. It’s one of the things I love most about him. And the way his gaze is flitting every which way and his legs are bouncing all over the place is a clear sign that he’s extremely proud of whatever he’s planned.

A few minutes of mindless chitchat later, I hear the doorbell ring. I give Kun a knowing look as he pretends not to know what’s going on. I open the door to see two boxes of take out from my favorite restaurant. I turn to Kun on the screen.

“You didn’t.”

“Oh, but I did sunshine.”

As I open the delicious smelling box I see that he’d gotten my favorite dish as well. He’d remembered every detail of it. A few tears escape my eyes against my will. Kun seems confused and concerned by my reaction, his beautiful features melting into a frown.

“Did I get something wrong? I swear I checked like 8 times to make sure I just--”

“No Kun it’s perfect,” I smile wetly. “You got everything right baby, I’m just really lucky to have you.” Kun nods understandingly grinning to reveal his dimple, and all of a sudden I’m hit with a wave of sadness and longing. I want nothing more than to be there with Kun, to caress his cheeks and bury my head in his chest and kiss the freckle under his brow that I love so much. I’m hit all at once with the realization that I miss being with Kun, and suddenly the tears are streaming down my cheeks. Kun stays silent, patient as always and it only makes me want to cry more.

“I miss you so fucking much,” I whisper between sobs. My vision is far too blurry to see how Kun is reacting to my outburst. “I hate this stupid quarantine, and the stupid virus, and stupid zoom. I just w-want to hug you so bad kunkun.” My voice breaks at the end of my sobs.

“Aw baby, I know. Any time we do these dates I can’t help but miss everything about you. You mean so much to me and not being able to see you has been torture. But don’t worry too much Sunshine. This is not permanent. I’m confident we’ll be able to see each other again.” Kun’s eyes are practically pouring out affection and genuineness.

“I’m sorry for ruining the date.”

“If you don’t hush right now I’m going to find a way to Zoom slap you,” Kun teased. “You have absolutely nothing to apologize for and you haven’t ruined anything. We can just eat and watch a movie together yeah?”

There on my couch, as I lost count of the hours going by with Kun’s voice in my ears: I realized that despite the unideal situation, we’d be okay.

KUNTEN PIC OF THE DAY:

[silverwhiteraven]

Borne of the Stars - Chapter 12 - An MLB Kryptonian AU

Tag List:  @eve-valution @weird-pale-blonde-person @kris-pines04 @soulmate-game @abrx2002 @amayakans @vixen-uchiha @heldtogetherbysafetypins @raisuke06 @dorkus-minimus @mopester-is-here @moonlightstar64 @annabellabrookes @toodaloo-kangaroo @the-navistar-carol @elspethshadow @chocolatecatstheron​ @ivymala07 @maribat-is-lifeblood​

[ Summary: Author celebrates her Birthday by posting a chapter before the day is up. Kara meets her Kwami and circumvents her grounding. ]

[ Posted on Ao3 ] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 11 ] [ Chapter 13 ]

Kara was shocked, sure, but not taken completely by surprise. She spent enough time around Zee Zatara, Zatanna, to know what something being magically conjured into existence looks like. That didn’t stop her from taking a step back though; she knew she wasn't invulnerable to magic, and not knowing what was appearing called for a level of caution.

Her eyes went wide and the hand that had tightened into an instinctive fist went slack as the light faded and the form finished taking shape in the open air. The other hand around the open box tightened as she stared at the creature, grounding and preventing her next instinctual reaction at the sight: a soft squeal of aww.

She clamped her jaw shut tight to further prevent the sound as the little purple-tinged black feline opened apple green eyes and a fanged cheshire grin spreading and opening to form words.

“Well well well, what do we have here? Sure, I expected someone different than usual, but this takes the fondue!” He exclaimed then circled Kara, and she kept still as her eyes followed the floating creatures movements. 

“What the-!” She couldn't help gasping after he disappeared behind her in another of his circles and felt the faintest of feelings in her chest for only a moment, like a string being pulled through from the back to the front, before he emerged in front of her. Out of the spot she had apparently felt him going through her. “Not cool! Don’t do that!” 

“Fine, fine,” he shrugged nonchalantly, “but now I know all I need to. This is going to be fun,” and the grin returned, almost feral now alongside the previous mischievousness.

Kara glared in suspicion at the little creature, finally setting aside her inner feeling of ‘aww, so cute’ to focus on the problem at hand. In hand? She lifted the box back up and looked at the black ring inside, then back to the magical feline. “What do you mean, fun? What do you know?” 

The creature chuckled, “You aren't human; you may look like it on the outside, but the inside tells a different story.”

She shuddered at realizing what he had been doing when going through her chest cavity. “Ew, yuck, gross, no, do not go checking things like that- Wait- So you know? You can tell?”

“Obviously,” he drawled before looking away without explaining and started to zip around the semi-messy room like a hyper and curious cat. “Kid, you don’t happen to have any cheese, do you? Just a bite is fine; I hate to say it, but as much as I’d love to sit down and eat a whole wheel, I actually seem to be looking forward to transforming for once. Seeing what you can do with my help should be interesting!”

“And what exactly can you do, uh-?” Her skepticism fell flat when she realized she didn't know his name. She followed after the tiny creature as it left the bedroom and watched him sniff out the mini-fridge set up next to the television of the suite’s living room. He popped the door open with a cry of victory and dove in, coming back out with her string cheese and taking a bite out of it.

“Call me Plagg, Kwami of Destruction, source of power for the Black Cat Miraculous you’re holding.” He seemed to raise an eyebrow at Kara as she looked down at the ring in the box, brushing a finger over the apple green paw print on the center. “Well? Put it on already!”

She hesitantly took the ring from the box, tossing the empty container to the side. Another glance at the waiting Kwami and she slid it on. Her eyes went wide as the ring turned a weathered gold, the shape turning to that of a signet ring. The shape of the seal was close to that of the one her and her cousin both wore as heroes: the Crest for the House of El. It was still different, though: not the usual stylized S, but rather, now the two ends of the S were reconnected into the original sideways infinity symbol. The S itself was still the prominent, though. 

Kara looks back at Plagg and the smug look he wore. “Neat, huh?”

“Yeah…” She hesitates before continuing to ask her new question. “What, exactly, is a Kwami?”

“Oh you know, just like any old gods, deities, incarnations and embodiments; whatever you want to compare us to. Basically forces of nature, concepts, and magic that, when tired to Miraculous, can have our powers channeled through other beings to do good. Well, good is supposed to be what we’re used for,” he adds with a glare out the window to the glowing streets.

“And that?” she wonders, noticing his stare.

“Yep, caused by the powers of one. You and the Ladybug Wielder are being called in to help recover one that's been used for evil. The Miraculous and the Kwami with it basically sent out a distress call when they were commanded to go against what we’re meant for.” 

Plagg looked sad as he said it, and Kara couldn't help but reach out in sympathy and give him a gentle pat on the head between the ears. It shook him out of it and he focused back on her. 

“Say ‘Plagg, Transform Me’ to pull me into the ring and suit up. The faster we get this over with, the sooner I can find myself a better cheese selection!”

“Wait, you said Ladybug Wielder, I get a partner?” She wasn't confused by it, having partners was normal for her, but the superhero in her wanted to make sure she didn't make a big mistake in misidentifying an ally.

“Yeah,” the Kwami confirmed, “the Creation to my Destruction, the symbol of Good Luck to my symbol of Bad Luck. The Ladybug to your Black Cat is out there and you two should be meeting each other soon, preferably before anything else so you can start working together.”

“How will I know who they are? Will they be easy to spot?”

Plagg cackled like a friend had just whispered an inside joke into his ear. “Oh yeah, very spottable.”

She raised a skeptical brow before shrugging it off. Instead of dwelling, she grinned and looked back out towards the chaos outside. Feeling ready, she called as instructed, “Plagg, Transform Me!”

The black, green, and white magic washed over her effortlessly, and just like other times friendly magic had been used on her, she felt almost nothing at all except the new weight of her costume settling itself. She did note her center of gravity had shifted, and wondered about the physical changes she may have gotten as well. One presented itself as she glanced through the doors to her bedroom, at her reflection in the full length mirror, and instead of a pleased and satisfied hum, there was a purr in its place.

Her new outfit really was satisfying to her tastes. It had an overall military uniform look to it with a formal flare. The top was mainly black and asymmetrical, a line of silver buttons going down one side, the collar straight with a line of green all around the edges. The sleeves ended in long, folded back cuffs at the wrists, also adorned with green trim and silver clasps. Clawed black gloves covered her hands, another tripping of green wrapping around her wrists. The black pants were complying to the formal look, complete with neat creases down the centers, but still had functionality with cargo-style pockets on the thighs. The shoes were heavy black combat boots, laced with overlapping green and silver ties. A sash wrapped around her waist, looking black but shimmered green underneath; one end fell loose behind her, swaying like a tail of its own accord; a silver baton stuck out where it was all tied together. The mask over her eyes, comfortable despite not being used to one, matched the tail in color: black with an underlying green sheen, except for the solid black that fell from her eyes like the tear marks of a cheetah. The feline ears atop her head, nestled into a new side swept undercut style, were solid black but for the green edging. The acidic green slit eyes were unsettling at first glance, but they pupils went wide and outright dorky as she looked herself over.

Her favorite part, however, had to be the cape. It was a one shoulder cape, draped over one arm in neat folds, the opposite side longer than the other as it fell behind her. The exposed shoulder had part of the cape attached to it, held by a black clasp with a silver crescent, but revealed a triple layer of silver shoulder plating. The opposite shoulder with the cape draped over it had a larger silver clasp holding it in place, but it was more like an emblem with its large black crescent moon encasing a green paw print. A few green straps held the shoulder pieces in place, from across her shoulders and down and around her torso.

“I’ll need a new name with the new look,” she muses. Her thoughts run quickly over far too many cliche names and ones already taken, before settling on one.

“Oncilla.”

She turns away from the mirror and laughs to herself, “I have never been this happy to get around a grounding so easily,” before going straight to the balcony doors, throwing them open, and launching herself into the open air with a whooping holler, more than happy to be back in the game.