#whomstve i hate

[yuri-alexseygaybitch]

I think the ethos of the Nolan Batman movies can be summarized by the scene in The Dark Knight where Alfred recounts his story of working for the avowedly corrupt military government of Burma (gee I wonder why Alfred was in former British colony Burma in his youth) in trying to find a jewel thief who was interrupting their bribes paid to tribal leaders, and when he discovers the thief wasn't stealing the jewels out of outright self-interest the only other plausible explanation is that the thief was an evil chaos guy who just loves crime, because there would be no other reason to steal from a corrupt military dictatorship during a period of popular resistance and insurgency. Hence "some men just want to watch the world burn" lol.

[theragnarokd]

fic idea (modern au):

Jake English has just broken his knee, lost his fiance, and lost his job, all at the same week. His one consolation is an MMORPG he started playing. It’s got flaws, it isn’t going out and wrestling anacondas, but he runs into a cool guild and it’s fun.

It’s easy to level up in the game, a fun challenge. It’s as satisfying as his real life isn’t. He’s not working anyway, doesn’t have a partner to need him, so why shouldn’t he play all hours of the day?

This is especially true the more invested he gets in a relationship with one of his guildmates.

But it gets weird. He plays too much, gets too invested, and his material life is falling apart. He learns Dirk lives in the same city, but can’t bring himself to share that information with Dirk, because how can he compare to his virtual self in the flesh?

(spoiler: he can’t, but his rl self is good enough anyway)

[fictive-explosion]

whomstve,,

I hate when a group of fictives decides to reveal themselves on a whim.-Virgil

I’ve been here for months!-Apollo

WHERE.-Virgil

The walls!-Apollo

/HELP ME. @blue0909 HELLLPPPP\

[theunconcernedembalmer]

music master isn't spending valentines alone if tuning has anything to say about it, and you know this. (you already know who this is)

But it is nice to hang out with her during breaks. She’s one of the few people I don’t mind hanging out with.

[qkmlh]

NOOOOO NOT Y’ALL CALLING IZUKU THE SASUKE OF BNHA ✋😭

[hormonethief]

why are there all these posts n articles n stuff that are like “girls can have short hair!” “girls can wear suits!” but all the women shown are still always only feminine, and whats actually being said is “girls can have short hair and still be feminine!” and “girls can wear suits and still be attractive to men!” like whenever women want to do something men (and sometimes other women too, but men are awful at this) have to find a way to make it Still Okay, Still Acceptable to them, instead of just letting women be! women dont need to fit any standards of femininity or beauty to do something, and they certainly don’t need mens approval

[falling-rain]

pros of short hair: when you're annoyed u can mess with it and it's funny. also sometimes it's really fluffy and very occasionally it looks nice

cons of short hair: u can't see and u always want a hair cut and uhh u can't see bc it's in your face

[depressedsightwitch]

Has anyone talked about Shiro’s brief spurt on earth, that someone might’ve told Adam and the dude was ready to go off but by the time he got there their chaotic gay son had teamed up w a more chaotic group of queers to bust him out of prison and go on an even crazier space adventure.

Poor guy

[hssideblog]

Alright gonna see if I can compile my thoughts on homestuck thusfar

I’m in the middle of Act 5-Act 2 (Part 12) of Let’s Read Homestuck, and these are my thoughts up to this point The kiddos: John: oh look they made power of friendship into a character again? I love him

Dave: -gently holds-

Rose: you go you funky little goth girl I love you

Jade: I thought I was gonna find her annoying and not like her but no, actually, she’s great The Trolls:

Aradia: you go girl you get your sweet sweet revenge on Vriska, like on the one hand that’s not healthy for your psyche, on the other hand you are already dead and a robot and also that animation was really neat, making out with Equius was uncomfy but you do you

Tavros: wow I love him, deserves so much better than he is getting, I saw something about hussie pairing everyone off at the end and I will scream and tear my hair out if he ends up with Vriska, this boy needs some healthy friendships and I really wish people would stop treating him like shit and being so ableist towards him it is easily one of my least favorite parts of this comic, please get some confidence sweet boy, you deserve it (I am so Upset with how his disability is treated in this but it’s whatever I don’t know perhaps I will make a post yelling about it, like sure okay it’s obviously not a good thing in canon that the other characters make fun of him for it but the actual text itself isn’t exactly kind about it either and I fucking hate it)

Sollux: Neat I guess, he’ll hopefully get cooler as time goes on, I like the lazer eye thing that’s neat, so far kinda forgettable sorry buddy

Karkat: so from what I’ve seen he seems to be everyone and their mother’s favorite troll and i’m just sitting here like ‘please go to therapy oh my gosh’ I know you were written in the 2000s/2010s but it is no longer cool to hate yourself, go to therapy Please, stop sabotaging all your relationships by being an absolute asshole you exhaust me I am rooting for you so hard to learn and grow please do that you make me physically tired (you do get a pass tho because you are 13 and a literal child but please stop)

Nepeta: girl I hope you get some friends that actually appreciate your weirdness, you are very sweet I love you I hope Equius starts treating you better and not being a freaky weirdo

Kanaya: Definitely one of my other favorites, I think she’s really well written, I know she and Rose become a thing and I can definitely see it, I like how that was written in in a way that’s like developing nicely and isn’t gonna be awkwardly tacked on at the end for like representation points or something.  But like Kanaya is such a great character outside of that, gosh I hope she drops Vriska like a rock, she is maybe one of the most well adjusted trolls, which isn’t saying a lot considering the trolls but yeah I love her, I hope she gets healthy friends who appreciate her and don’t take advantage of her

Terezi: My Beloved???? Holy shit I was NOT expecting to like her as much as I do she’s such a weird little lady and I adore her

Vriska: I went into this knowing she was a controversial character and WOW I certainly see why. I hate her so much. She gets a bit of a pass due to being y’know... 13. But holy shit. 1) Go to therapy 2) stop everything you’re doing. Like oh my gosh Obviously she’s written to Be a controversial character but wow they sure did a good job of making her absolutely detestable. She’s... So abusive on like every level, she whines about her friends not sticking with her but gosh like good for them they all deserve better friends than her. Seriously if anybody is out here with a friend that reminds them of Vriska that’s your sign to run there’s nothing healthy about that. She’s so manipulative and is taking advantage of all of them. Takes advantage of their pity to keep them on a string and then just continues to fuck them over and treat them like shit. Am I having such a strong reaction because I have had friendships like this and escaped? Yes. Yes I am. Kissing Tavros like that was horrifying, Tavros, buddy, that’s assault, please get better friends.

Equius: dude, buddy, what the fuck, please I am so uncomfortable just stop, you don’t need to wear your kinks on your sleeve like that and pulling all the other characters into it that’s so weird and invasive and stop please I am so uncomfortable I started off disliking him due to his strong views on the caste and his treatment of Nepeta, and then I was like ‘oh he actually isn’t too sure about the bloodcastes and is overcompensating for his doubt, that’s neat’ and then it turned out to be for... weirdly sexual reasons and yeah gross dude stop

Gamzee: absolute dumbass I fuckin’ love him I don’t know if there’s anything more to say on the matter

Eridan: once again, a guy I know is a fan favorite, and I’ve just gotta say, why the absolute fuck??? This is an incel. Guys he’s an incel. Does he get a good redemption arc??? because he sucks. He sucks so much. Dude Feferi doesn’t owe you jack shit, nobody owes you a relationship redrom or blackrom stop throwing a pity party and maybe work on yourself The scene where Fef was kinda breaking things off with him as besties was honestly like??? Really good?? I’m so proud of her for sticking to it like that, I hope she stays far away from him forever she deserves so much better

Feferi: I love the her. She’s.... very much, at least so far, a manic pixie dream girl which is... : /. BUT she did stand her ground when breaking things off with the stupid sadboy incel guy and I’m really glad about that one, that’s not something you usually see happening with mpdgs so I really appreciated that. I hope she gets a bit more of a character outside of mpdg, and that she gets more depth and is allowed to like... have negative emotions

[mattiboyd]

god we used to talk like everyday then our net fell apart and now i just see you on my dash everyday and I remember our old convos and shwiwhoshdjddv ilysm

jkehrka :eyes: listen, idk who u r rn but like???? i 100% kno i loved talking to u and u should msg me :eyes::eyes: i probs see u on my dash evrytime im on and defs miss u dearly hmu :oo 

[willaska]

I was suddenly inspired to draw so I sat down and drew Sharon and it (mostly) turned out a million times better than I ever expected it to??

[callmearcturus]

How to Read Whomstve in 2021

Hey Arc, what are you doing?

I'm getting into this thing called Whomstve—

You mean you're back into Homest—

SSSSSSHHHHH don't say its name!

It's Complicated.

So if you don't know, here is the abbreviated version: I started reading Whomstve on the day it ended, the day of the final [S] Act 7 animation, because I watched it on a whim and said "man this music is fucking rad, I should finally try to read this," and then I did.

Then, a few years later, after the completion of the story, Hussie and their compatriots released The Home/stuck Epilogues, which were bad. They were very, very bad and in a specifically very hateful, vindictive way, and they essentially decimated the fandom. Many people left within a month. Most were gone in a year. And they were right to, in my opinion.

(You know how Game of Thrones was the cash cow Cultural Moment and then the finale happened and it fucking vanished from popular consciousness? It was like that, except imagine GOT had a decent ending and people kept enjoying it and then three years later they released a new ending that ruined the show. That's the Epilogues.)

Fast forward to about…. the end of September, 2021. A full 900 days after the Epilogues Happened, I was struck with a thought:

Man. I miss Jake English.

And now, three or four weeks later, I'm into Whomstve.

Okay why "whomstve" tho?

I think my friend Asherinn started this, it was our little way to bitch about the epilogues without winding up on the Tumblr search. Now, to me, Whomstve very specifically means "Home//stuck, before the (Not Actually) Post-Canon content." It's the story I loved.

What I found surprising is that… and this shocked me a lot, trust me: Whomstve is still good. I've done the relisten and it's good, actually. I'm stunned, actually.

When the Epilogues happened, one of the predominate emotions myself and others had was a sense of "were we wrong? was it always bad and we just didn't see it?"

Hi. I'm here. And no, it was good once. And that part still is.

Now you're gonna tell me how to get into """Whomstve"""" right?

Yeah, p much.

I have a few thoughts on this. I'll try to be concise—

Actually I'm impatient, just tell me what to do.

Fine, the short version:

Read Acts 1 through 3, either on the Home//stuck website or using the Unofficial Home//stuck Collection.

Switch to Lets Read Home//stuck starting with Act 4, and continue on from there.

Switch back to the website or UHSC when you run out of LRHS. It'll get you most of the way to the end.

Stop at [S] Act 7 or [S] Credits. Do not read the Epilogues.

Hit me up for fic recs.

Now, the long version.

ONE: Whomstve is best read and understood in archival format, and anyone who tells you differently is incorrect.

For clarity: the "live read" is having read the comic as it was updating. The "archive read" is having read it as a complete, finished story.

I am 1000% certain that being in the fandom during the live update cycle of the story was very cool and very specific and frankly an experience that will never be repeated. I know and respect that.

However, if you have heard shit about how HS is difficult to understand or even impossible or that it doesn't make sense— this is because the Live Read is vastly inferior to the Archive Read when it comes to your reading comprehension. Many of the complaints people have about the story are solved by experiencing it as a complete story, when you set the pace of your read, and you don't have literally months of downtime between updates in which people spin so much conjecture and theorycraft that their actual understanding of canon is hampered.

So. To appreciate the story, forget all the memes and shit, all the fandom history around it, and just read the fucking story, and it will be great. I promise.

TWO: Okay but should I skip to the trolls.

Act One and Two are not very interesting, compared to the rest of the story.

There, said it.

Unless you imprint on the first hero of the story, John Egbert, you can feel free to just fucking speedread the first two acts of the story. Here, I'll summarize what happens:

It's John Egbert's birthday. He has three best friends, Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde (you'll love her), and Jade Harley. They are destined to play a video game named SBURB that unbeknownst to them will end the world. (Kinda, don't worry about it.) By playing the game, they ascend into the game's world. Each of them have to join the game, and the circumstances around them doing so become increasingly complicated. Through Acts One and Two, John enters the game, then Rose enters the game, whilst we learn about each of the kids and start to learn hints about the greater mythology of SBURB.

It's reading through Acts 1 to 3, but like. Briskly. Act 4 is where shit pops tf off.

(Hell there is an in-canon recap I can link you if you REALLY wanna go fast.)

Wait wait you want me to read THREE FUCKING ACTS before it gets good?

No. It's good. It just doesn't get great until Act 4, imo. You know how The Magnus Archives was never a bad show but that fucker took tf off in season three and four? Yeah, that.

Oh and this is important to understand.

Yeah. Trust me, it'll go quick.

(oh and important to note: this isn't even accurate because pages have varying amounts of words. a page can be a 500 word conversation between characters, or it can be a two sentence joke, or it could be an animation. i looked for a word count chart and failed to find one. I strongly suspect Acts 1-3 are even smaller than this chart conveys. anyway.)

THREE: You mentioned that you "listen" to HS above.

I feel like this is extremely and useful, especially because I know a lot of my followers are into audio-media like podcasts.

I have properly read HS three times. I have listened to Lets Read Home//stuck probably about 7 times. It is my preferred way to experience the comic. I think starting with Act 4, you can and possibly should just put on LRHS and experience the story that way.

Why not Acts 1 thru 3? The production values and voice acting from Act 4 and onward are extremely fucking listenable, and occasionally they are even better than just reading the comic. There are no truly Bad performances, only about two I would call mediocre, and more than 15 I would call really goddamn fucking good, and about three I think deserve fucking acting accolades. Also the Hivebent Narrator's voice is hot, I'm sorry.

Isn't it a different experience than reading the comic on the site? Yes, but in a good way. A few years ago, HS as a property was acquired by Viz Media, and a lot of little things in the comic have been altered and lost due to this. Most of the comic was coded in specific languages, and to preserve them, Viz has uploaded a lot of shit to Youtube, which…. loses something very real to the story. So if you are gonna lose something, why not also gain something by listening to Lets Read Home//stuck?

(Hilarious aside: I just tried to run [S] Cascade on the official site to grab a screencap and the fucking embed crashed. GOOD JOB VIZ. God.)

Also if you have not experienced LRHS's Rose Lalonde from Act 4 onward, you are missing the fuck out bc that is an oscar-worthy performance of one of the best characters in the story. I'm not kidding.

But it's not complete! I would say LRHS has covered…… over 80% of the story. And they are still actively updating, actually. They fully plan on finishing the comic and I really believe they will do it someday.

Do you have another reason to use LRHS? Yes. The biggest reason:

The trolls.

The trolls are recurring characters. Several are major cast members. They all have Typing Quirks. Some are readable, like Karkat's:

CG: SO I GUESS TODAY IS FINALLY THE DAY YOU FUCK EVERYTHING UP.

Some are...

GC: R34LLY TH3R3S L1K3 TH1S WHOL3 CONSP1R4CY 4BOUT TH1S

I cannot read this shit. When I read HS for the first time, I installed browser extensions to literally remove the quirks. But with LRHS, it's fucking read to you, and by people who know what they're doing.

I cannot recommend LRHS enough. I even have ripped MP3s of the whole thing and its in an audiobook on my phone. Yeah. Yep. That's sure a thing I just admitted to. (If you want 'em lemme know.)

FOUR: I don't want to listen to Whomstve, I want to read it, and I'm upset it's not well preserved.

Someone has Done The Fucking Work of archiving the entirety of Home//stuck.

Two downloads, and you will have a self-contained browser on your computer that will let you read all of it. It's very neat and clean, it has helpful configs to change how the font looks if you have issues reading it (however nothing to remove quirks, sorry) and it maintains the multiple games and special animations in the story.

To use it, you DL the main file, then you DL the asset file. It's easy, it's safe, I have a copy on my computer.

FIVE: Stop with either [S] Act 7 or [S] Credits.

This is a matter of opinion, which ending you prefer. Just, whatever you do, do not:

Read the Epilogues

Play the visual novels

Touch literally anything that says "meat" or "candy"

And that's Whomstve! Hit me up for fic recs when you're done.

SIX: Things to know going in.

Like with all media that was made over a decade ago, some shit has not aged well. There is frequent use of the r-slur, until very suddenly it vanishes from the entire comic because presumably Hussie realized it wasn't a funny word. There are a few characters with uncomfortable racial coding, and one that is literally just an fucking Moonspeak Asian joke. She's a minor character really deep in Act 6, I can tell you how to fully avoid her, just hmu. There is one unfunny use of the term "f*g", but the context is a mitigating factor imo. There is also the trouble of Home//stuck trying hard to be "aracial" as in none of the kids have a canon ethnicity. It's as much of a cop-out as you expect, but its something that imo is heavily explored in the fandom. That doesn't excuse it in the canon though, obviously.

The Ultimate Riddle: Why do you care about Whomstve?

That's difficult to answer.

Let me explain one of my favorite things about it. Maybe that'll help.

In Act 5 Act 2 (yep) there is an animation called [S] Jade: Enter. It comes pretty deep in the story, and if you watched it without any context, it's impenetrable. What the fuck is that dog? What's that door? Why is there a meteor? What is fucking happening?

But if you have read Whomstve up to that point, you reach [S] Jade: Enter, and you are given a fucking clusterfuck of a story beat. There is a moment I fucking shrieked to myself because at that point, I understood the language of HS enough that the Thing that happened was simple, fast, thoughtless, but in that single instant explained everything that had gone wrong up to that point in the story. Suddenly I understood jack everything.

This is Whomstve's midterm exam. It's a story that slowly, lovingly, patiently teaches you an entire language of symbology and mythology and mechanics, all so it can show you a dog and a glowy thing, and it can make you shriek in terror because the ramifications are that. fucking. exquisite.

And then Act 5 ends with [S] Cascade, which is simultaneously your final exam and reward. You have been again slowly, patiently taught what feels like an entire language, and for your time and attention, the story gives you a spectacle that

I literally cannot even put into words for you. If I sat you down and showed you, the uninitiated, [S] Cascade, it would be just visual noise. (Honestly, wanna watch it? Go for it. You will not understand what is happening but the music fucks. Enjoy the spectacle.) But if you reached that point organically, it's a fucking present that genuinely, truly wants to reward you for your effort.

So my point is this: the time put into reading this fucking monstrosity of a story is rewarded in a way that no other piece of media has ever rewarded me. I have never so thoroughly felt like I was being given something by a story as thanks for my time.

Also its funny. Also the art can be incredible. Also the music is NOTHING BUT THE FUCKING HITS. Also the gay delight of Rose and Kanaya's conversations in Act 5 Act 2 is unprecedented. Also when you find out why Karkat is talking to John backwards you're going to die. Also Almost Everyone Is Queer and they are all really complex, deep characters, even many of the ones they tried to just make a joke. Also if you're a good person you deserve to experience [S] Synchronize/Unite. Also the slow slow slow slow fucking burn of the story of Dave Strider will fuck you up. Also Jake English is one of the greatest, most complicated, incredible characters ever rendered in fiction. Also you will want to know what your classpect is.

Also there's a lesbian vampire alien who uses a chainsaw that turns into lipstick when not in use. She hooks up with a snooty, hilarious know it all witch girl who's handle is literally tentacleTherapist. Come on.

Whomstve is good. Give it a shot. I'll have fic for you after you're done.

Wait wait a minute wait, wtf does [S] mean?

Oh. Sound. It means the page has sound. Usually it means there's an animation.

[benslos]

😬

[pesthoe]

[leakyrocktarot]

OMG YOURE SO RIGHT ON THE WHITE OR ASIAN WOMAN THING

It reaaaaally keeps coming up for certain people, who can’t seem to put it inside their head that « Westerner » doesn’t mean white, that there are immigrants of all races in South Korea and especially in Seoul .Some try to insist and argue that « uhm no I don’t think BTS would date a black person or a Latinx person because so and so and so » WELL FUCKING GUESS WHAT THERE ARE LATINX AND BLACK PEOPLE LIVING IN KOREA TOO AND YOU ARGUING THAT NEITHER OF THOSE GROUPS WOULD BE ATTRACTIVE TO THEM DO NOT MAKE YOU MORECLIKELY TO DATE THEM

No honestly it gets hella annoying sometimes I be wanting to just

Cause like???? How dare???? How do people genuinely not see how absolutely racist that is?? AND ON BHM??????? *find the door expeditiously* they really act as if forcing this sort of ideal is gonna beam the idea into Bts's heads "oop such and such said we shouldn't date anyone who isn't white, asian or a woman lets totally listen to them" nO? I mean- do they not remember those uh scenes from american hustle life? They beeeeen interested in every creed and race also lets acknowledge the entitlement for a second, whomstve thee funk are you to tell seven grown men and their impressionable fans that they shouldn't date anyone who isn't white or asian or a woman?? Who are you to decide that's the word of god and hate on anyone that says different? In a world where there are literally hundreds of different races and nationalities, do you think idols are going to limit themselves? Yes it is more likely for an idol to date or even marry an asian person but like- that's not the only possibility and to add ONLY white people into the mix just shows how again racist and entitled some people really are. It becomes a problem when it's such a widespread thing and when talent readers come out and say "hey- no- it is possible-" they get harrassed and shut down, now imagine if Bts or any other idol where to come out dating a POC person who isn't asian, what's going to happen to that person? Y'all would hate them simply because they aren't you and they aren't an "acceptable race"

And let's all agree that being a pick me and degrading other people in order to try to make yourself seem attractive and more pickable is childish and a bitch move, it don't make you cute.

[violexides]

Ranking DreamSMP Characters By Their Likelihood To Commit Crimes (And Judging Them, Also)

From Someone Who Has NEVER Seen DreamSMP

edit: the ranking is 10 being most crimes, 0 being none

--

it’s the tommy innit luv

didn’t this guy die a month ago?

uh. like 2/10 for the crimes

somewhat moral

“c’mon guys let’s stop fighting” is his schtick

tub

i have no idea who this one is

1/10 i think this one is nice

comedic relief?

i’d trust him with like a 5 dollar bill

nightmare

okay this one is the one that did like all the crimes right

is he the antagonist???

like 11/10

i think he committed murder then died like a day ago

do people even die in this damn thing

wilbur

this one is the king

the kingdom is named louisiana i think

all the gays love him

like 4/10 but the crime was probably excusable

this is the one that wrote all the music for it i think

puts the techblade in NO (bastard)

this one blew up an entire country

so 19/10 i think

everyone thinks he’s a dick

someone else was probably an accomplice

rainbow

i think this one did something bad but idk what

gets a tentative like 7/10

is this the one that had the whole theseus metaphor

on the cliff?

or is this the himbo

phil

everyone hates this guy

apparently this is the dad of someone

i think he’s dead

23/10

jschlatt

like 6/10 i don’t trust him

he’s probably kind of friend-shaped though

kind of feral

i wouldn’t trust him with a five dollar bill

Fundy

uh. who???

probably did nothing bad if i don’t know them

0/10 hope they’re having a nice day

Eret

whomstve

1/10 for variety

hope this one has an even better day though

which left

i’m still confused how quackity got involved in dream smp

knowing him he probably did like six minor crimes

3/10 for this clown

i like this guy

bad boy halo dot mv

fuck man idk who this guy is either

their name has the word bad boy in it but also halo so mixed messages on crimes here

i’ll say a 5/10 cut it even