#whoever those random 11 other people were

[raillue]

that final mission was so fun to play, 12 guardians in one fireteam went just about as chaotically as you’d expect

[ramp-it-up]

Knock You Down

Summary: James Bucky Barnes is an avowed bachelor and one night stand artist. But when he meets you, he finds out that sometimes love comes around, and it knocks you down.

Word count: less than 2K

Pairing: Art Dealer (mob boss) Bucky Barnes x Reader

A/N: This fic was in part inspired by Seb Stan's latest pics and this press run 🫠, and partially inspired by an old song by some problematic people, lol. This is the result. As usual, I am Basil Exposition, so this is broken into parts. Part II is already in the queue and will be posted on Friday, 10/11.

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Read at your own risk. Slow burn, cursing, mutual pining, Bucky the player, wild thoughts, kisses on the hand and the cheek. No sex!

I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

-----

"Won't see it coming when it happens. But when it happens you're gonna feel it, let me tell you now."

Bucky always scoffed at Steve’s advice. He and Sam never understood his solitary bachelorhood and his one night stand lifestyle.

The truth was, he hadn’t met anyone who held his interest enough to warrant a second date, much less anything beyond one casual hookup. So, he never made promises that he couldn’t keep, and most women said they were down for that. 

Even if they were lying to themselves.

At 42, James Buchanan Barnes was too dedicated to his business, ostensibly as an art dealer, for a serious relationship. The truth was that he dealt in many things, and that was why his business needed so much attention. 

His life and everyone’s around him depended on it. 

Bucky Barnes wasn’t going to get caught slipping.

In love or in business.

—---

The first time you met James Buchanan Barnes, on what you thought would be a random Monday afternoon, he appraised you in a way that shook you to the core, those ocean blue eyes looking into your soul. You felt as if he were evaluating a piece of art as he gazed at you across his desk. 

You couldn’t know that he felt the exact same way. 

His eyes never strayed from your face as he shook your hand, but he’d noticed every bit of you as you entered his gallery, Rebirth. You were more stunning than any piece of art that he’d ever curated in the space.

While nothing like his normal type, you made Bucky feel as if he’d been so wrong about so much in his life the moment you entered his orbit. He had to get to know you to find what he’d been missing.

This afternoon you were a sight to behold and serving body. Although you were covered from neck to shin in an elegant sheath dress, the high, wrapped waist was giving all of your bounteous curves up to whoever glanced at you. And you had heads turning.

Steve, Sam, and even Natasha craned their necks to watch you as you entered Bucky’s office. And he could have sworn that Nat’s neck was at a 90 degree angle as she watched you leave her desk just outside his door.

You were fine as hell.

Bucky was entranced by dreams of handling your curves and making you smile at him forever.

As Bucky dreamed, you admired the man in front of you. Tall, dark, and handsome, Barnes wasn’t a young man, but the gray in his beard and the crinkles around his eyes made him that much more attractive. 

Even more attractive than in the paparazzi pics of him with various young models and actresses of the moment, waifs and ingénues with whom he was never photographed twice.

You just knew you were safe from any advances from him.

You thought.

“Enchanté, Ms. Y/LN. It is a pleasure to meet you."

Bucky lowered his head as he greeted you, a slight bow and extended his hand to his desk. You noticed the tattoo that started on his hand and seemed to go up his sleeve and went in the direction he pointed.

"You know, you are quite tenacious. I don’t take many meetings with potential buyers. But all of my people told me that I should.”

The silk of his voice, the unexpected tenor of it, and the way he took your hand made you shiver at the aura of experience that he gave off.

The word Daddy floated around in your mind for a moment until he invited you to sit.

You had to concentrate on the business at hand, that of negotiating for a piece of art for the Art and Culture Center in Brownsville, of which you were the director. The purchase was made possible by benefactors to commemorate a deceased Brownsville artist who became famous, then forgotten, during the Harlem Renaissance.

“You’ve made it past Ms. Romanoff, my gallerist, Mr. Wilson, my business manager, and Mr. Rogers, my gallery director, Ms. Y/LN. What makes you think that I’m going to give you a different answer? Letting that piece go for the price you’ve proposed is not a good business move.”

“You can’t afford to miss out on this opportunity, Mr. Barnes. Yes, you will be taking a loss on the artwork, but you will be on the ground floor of a major rediscovery. You will be known as one of the few who helped to resurrect the brilliance of the artist Howard Benson. You can be the Alice Walker to his Zora Neale Hurston.”

And that is when Bucky leaned back in his chair, astounded at your shrewd calculation.

“I love the way your mind works, Ms. Y/LN.”

You smiled and settled back into your chair, causing Bucky to shift in his chair. He wanted to be buried in you. He appraised and decided that he liked the pout that changed your lips almost as much as the smile that initially greeted him when he replied, “But that price is still unacceptable.”

You raised an adorable eyebrow at him and rose to the challenge that he lay at your feet ready to tangle with the inimitable James Barnes. The conversation stretched from early afternoon to dinner time, making you suspect that Barnes was drawing it out for some reason. You matched him, point for point, until it was dark. But he yielded no ground.

The conversation was intellectual foreplay: art history, sociology, american politics. And it was the most stimulated you’d been in a while. 

You could do this all night.

Your phone buzzed and you looked down. There were several text messages and emails lighting up your screen. You’d been in deep with Barnes for hours. It was after 6 pm. It seemed like only minutes. You noticed that it was only you and Bucky left in the gallery and rose to excuse yourself, albeit reluctantly.

“Oh! I’m sorry to keep you so long. I’m sure that you must have plans.”

You’d done your research and you knew that there was probably someone little more than half Barnes’ age waiting for him. When you searched social media, there was a sighting or spotted every month or so of Bucky and a young, beautiful woman.

You reached for your coat, but Bucky was behind you in seconds, taking it from you and helping you put it on. You shivered at his breath at your throat and his hands on your collarbone as he draped the lapels over your neck. His deep chuckle made your stomach flip. He saw right through you.

“No one is waiting for me but my cat, Alpine. How about you, Ms. YLN? Anyone waiting for you in Brownsville?”

“Not tonight. No.”

Why in the world were you doing the sultry whisper thing? This man didn’t want you. 

Did he?

You cleared your throat and you felt dizzy when you looked up and saw how close he was standing to you. Those eyes and the smile that graced his handsome face had you warm, but the way he licked his lips had you spiraling.

Bucky pushed down a mild sense of panic that someone might be expecting you some other night, but that was irrational. Competition never ever entered his mind when he talked to other women. 

What was happening here?

“Well I would consider myself extremely fortunate and would be honored if we could continue this conversation over dinner.”

—-

The way James Barnes turned your meeting into a dinner date had your head spinning, but the wonderful conversation and easy, light hearted banter eased your mind. As soon as the first course was served at your table at dinner at Bohemian, he agreed to your initial price.

From there, once the terms were settled, the conversation turned to more personal questions, each of you sharing the stories of your life in your town, his childhood in Romania, your childhood in Brooklyn, and lots of funny stories.

At one point early in the night, Bucky stopped you from calling him Mr. Barnes.

“Please. Call me James. Or you could call me Bucky. My Friends call me Bucky. For my middle name, Buchanan. Bucky is short for Buchanan.”

Bucky found himself rambling. He had not been this nervous in a while.

You looked at him quizzically. At that moment, he would give you anything you were about to ask of him.

“Do you have a lot of friends? I mean, do a lot of people call you Bucky?“

Godamn, the husk in your voice, those lips, those eyes. Everything about you was about to set him on fire.

“I have a few who are in my close circle. Natasha, Steve, Sam. They and a very few others call me Bucky. Most people I speak with call me Mr. Barnes...”

You nodded slowly, licking your lips, making Bucky feel it in his cock.

“Then I will call you James.”

He got your subtle meaning. You wanted to be different. 

And you were. So very different.

After almost five hours of the best conversation and laughter, he proposed another time for you two to meet before the week was up, on Friday. He had made it clear at dinner that now that business was concluded that he wanted to spend time with you.

Friday night would be a date, the second one at his insistence.

You debated that fact as his driver took you home, even up until he walked you to the door of your brownstone.

He leaned against your doorframe and checked you out as you retrieved your keys from your purse. When you turned and caught him looking, you gasped, causing him to straighten up and move toward you, eyes dilated.

“It will be our second date,” you conceded.

Bucky’s mouth curled into a smirk as he grabbed your hand and lifted it to his mouth. Your soul burned as he pressed his lips to your palm. It was like the hint of a drug in your veins and you wanted so much more.

“What made you change your mind?”

That voice. Did you have a voice kink? Good lord.

You flushed, both at the images that were racing through your mind, and at the arbitrary three date rule you’d made up a while ago. Why was that again?

You cleared your throat.

“Because of the way you are looking at me, James. And the fact that you just kissed me.”

“Is this a kiss?”

“Ummhmmmm.”

You hummed as Bucky raised his eyebrow and your hand again. This time, he brushed his lips against your wrist and inhaled the perfume lingering there. You were about to melt.

Bucky didn’t even know what he was doing. The next step in his mind was to open his mouth and consume you, but he opened his eyes and spied you looking at him in that way, and he knew he had to stop. He didn’t want this to be like all of his other conquests.

He straightened up, but didn’t let go of your hand, entangling your fingers together. 

“You are correct, Y/N. In my mind, this is a date. I am interested in you, for more than just your taste in art. I hope that this is the first date of many.”

You were bowled over at his straightforwardness. It was not what you were used to. This was a man, not a boy in mens clothing.

“I appreciate your honesty, James.”

You went on tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, your lips lingering on the black and grey stubble so close to his lips. You turned around, giving him a view of your backside as you opened your door.

“And your ambition.”

You gave him that smile again with a wink, and your “Goodnight, James,” floated up to him on cloud nine.

——-

Let me know if you liked it!

Part II here.

[moreespressoformydepresso]

sometimes i think about like. what if. the tributes escape, they're running around, trying to get things together. and somehow they get caught. how, we don't know, but imagine a peacekeeper comes across them and has a choice to make. obviously peacekeepers can't have families, but they weren't born without them. this one peacekeeper, maybe wovey reminds him of his little sister. or hy reminds him of his first love, the one he never got to act on. or he's some fresh young recruit who feels like in another life, the likes of sheaf or otto or whoever could have been a friend.

and he lets them go.

even other capitol citizens. some socialite might be more privy to give facet and velvereen more leeway, after all, they're one of the 'good' districts, aren't they? or a shopkeeper lets mizzen or treech get away with stolen goods because they remind him of his kids. or hell, imagine one of them manages to find work, and the supervisor should have half a mind to report it, but teslee knows what she's doing and she's doing it better than the other suckers, it'd be stupid to report her, even if she *is* an escaped tribute. lots of little things build up over time. a story where 24 kids don't escape on their own, it takes a whole village to help them.

That’s beautiful I love it. I had ideas of like- the mentors maybe letting them go if they spot them or even actively helping them escape in some cases, but just random citizens? That’s honestly even better. Because to me, a big part of why so many Capitol citizens were okay with the games is because they had enough distance to it to not care. It’s a once a year thing they can ignore if they want, and they do. Just some district scum, right? So who cares? And when they’re in a literal cage it reinforces that distance. They’re not “like us”, so it’s okay. No need to spend time and emotional energy thinking about it. Especially after what they did to you during the war ten years ago!

But when you’ve spend years fighting with the belief that you’re protecting your people, and you used the image of scared dying Capitol children to fuel you, I imagine it hits so hard to look at a terrified child staring down the barrel you’ve got pointed at them. Maybe the peacekeeper had a realization that they are the monster they’ve been fighting. And in the split second that they realize convincing themself it’s not true isn’t gonna change anything, they let the tribute go.

Teslee and Circ are 100% better employees than anyone in that city. No rationalizing necessary it’s just basic business. And they don’t even ask for much, so it’s win win! Also they’re nice kids, it would suck to see them suffer or even die and if they go into the games only one can get out. So eh, might as well give them some basic necessities.

I think it would probably start with Velvereen and Facet. They are “the good ones” so if anyone’s gonna be let go it’s them. Maybe it gets filmed or something and it’s broadcast in an attempt to get Capitol citizens to look out for the tributes and tip off the peacekeepers. And that video makes the citizens go “oh well, at least it’s the good ones and not one of those backwards savages”. Except once you accept the notion that some of these kids are fine, that slowly starts to trickle over into your perception of the others. If the ones from 1 are fine, the ones from 2 are too right? Because those get lumped together a lot since they’re more well fed. And the boy from 2 is pretty similar to the ones from 11 and 12 so maybe those districts aren’t too bad either. And if the girl from 11 isn’t so bad, well she’s like the tributes from 8 and the boy from 4. And the girl from 12 is a performer like the boy from 7 (actor/performer Treech supremacy). Soon enough the network is complete and we’ve got all the tributes being noted as kind of okay, maybe. So when a clearly starved child steals food, well the shopkeeper didn’t really need that lost income. They can miss it, so it’s not worth the energy to even report. And it slowly escalates from there until we have a district-sympathizer Capitol.

[thestalwartheart]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you for the tag, @aniron48 ❤️ This was such a nice way to wrap up this year, and to remember what I'd written!

Tagging @cicerfics @dixkens @dassandre-00qpidsarrow @boffin1710 @samanthahirr and whoever else wants to play along!

Answers under the cut!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 82! I feel like I blacked out and blinked and woke up with a horrifying number of fics!

2. What’s your total A03 word count? 385,997 😨

3. What fandoms do you write for? James Bond mostly. Also Glass Onion/Knives Out. I don't write for The Witcher anymore, but I have in the past. On my laptop is a lot of unfinished Star Trek fic - mainly Kirk/Spock - and a crack at some Arthur/Eames (from Inception).

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

being with you (is the best of all)

date, interrupted

the places you leave in the dust

a rank above

by any other name

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do try to, and I mostly succeed. I like to thank people for investing their time with my work, and I also like getting to know people in fandom. There's still 100+ comments I need to get back to, and some of them are very old. I will get to them though!!! I promise!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Anything involving the MCD tag. There was also a short called garden that was very sad for other reasons.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Either being with you (is the best of all) or dispatches from the division.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really, though I've had a few rude comments and bookmark notes. One person let me know across three chapters that they hated my characterisation of Bond so much they were tempted to rewrite the ending! But most people are lovely. The Bond fandom is small and most of us have our heads screwed on the right way.

9. Do you write smut? Frequently and without shame. There are 29 E-rated fics in my backlog for your reading pleasure.

10. Do you write crossovers? I have a Knives Out/James Bond crossover series where Bond and Blanc are detectives competing for Q's attention.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes and I am endlessly grateful for people who are more talented with languages than I am ❤️

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Just a team poem for 007 Fest, though I have worked with beta readers.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? Kirk/Spock forever.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I had a multiverse fic I posted a chapter of that I don't think I have the energy for anymore. I was so undecided about the ending that I lost interest in writing it.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think I'm good with characters and details. My writing has been called immersive by a few people, and I do really pride myself on building atmosphere. I think I can turn a good phrase occasionally too!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I need to get better at proofreading for typos. I'm quite lazy with plotting and planning as well. I definitely need to work on that for an original novel I'm writing!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I only do it if it's necessary, and I'm so glad AO3 now has a hover feature for immediate translation. One of my pet peeves at uni was how often scholars used random French and Latin words or phrases when they didn't need to!!!

19. First fandom you wrote for? HP, probably. Or Glee. Those fics have been purged from the internet now 😂

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Either dispatches from the division or the WIP I'm in the process of posting now, called the age of change.

Shout out to everyone who has made it to the end! As a reward, please enjoy this picture of my cat flopped over in her cat tree ❤️

[wastemanjohn]

tagged by @deanwinchesterpregnant ty ❤

1. Are you named after someone? Yes I am named after a character in a movie because my mum was a fandom girlie I guess. I also got this name because she thought it would be really unique but then when I started school there were three girls in my class with the same name so. I don't think it's a trendy name at all anymore though.

2. When was the last time you cried? I had a little career related meltdown the other day and cried a little then... but it led to me realising I need to stop being so YOLO and actually think about the future and my ambitions a bit more so it was good in the end.

3. Do you have kids? No and I don't intend to 🥳

4. What sports do you play/have you played? Does teaching myself Irish lately dance count? Idk lol lots of dance related stuff really. I went through a zumba phase last year. It's as close as I get to sport.

5. Do you use sarcasm? No, never.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? I don't know really?

7. What's your eye color? They're green but they sometimes look brown in pictures and apparently blue when I have glasses on? So I have shape-shifter eyes. I'm basically David Bowie.

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Neither. I like mundane misery.

8. Any talents? Writing is one of the only things I'm good at lolol. I'm pretty good at abstract makeup I guess. I also used to act and was fairly decent on the bass once. I do want to take both of those things up again someday.

9.Where were you born? A city in England that most people have never heard of. I'm so quirky and random.

10. What are your hobbies? Writing, reading, yoga, wellness, aforementioned abstract makeup, music, fashion, fandom, dance. I'm also an avid theatre goer and I like talking trips to different cities to fuel my history geekery. I'm not sure if they count as hobbies or leisure activities lol but I'm sticking it here anyway.

11. Do you have any pets? Yes I have two sweet furbabies.

12. How tall are you? 5'7. My immediate family are all around 6 foot though so I've still somehow been the subject of short jokes my entire life.

13. Favourite subject in school? English, drama, history

14. Dream job? I have my dream job. Its harder these days bc of the state of my country lol but its still the thing I wanted to do the most so here I am!

tagging with no obligation @bossymarmalade @justamisthings @theangiediary @setyourfireonme @alaynestone @luulapants @beautyandthebestiality and whoever else sees this and wants to do this

[starry-bright]

Lemme get uh...

11, 23, 42, 56 for Miss Joy

48, 50 for Miss Kara

And 22, 37, 47 for Cliiiiiooooo

- xoxo your biggest fan

For Joy:

11. If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

This is so tough cuz Joy is such a wild card 😂 you’d have to out-weird whoever was impersonating her. Ask her to touch an obvious trap or other stupid reckless thing, if she doesn’t /at least/ try for it, that’s not Joy. Alternatively, say sexually suggestive stuff around “her” and if she doesn’t make a single awful sex joke then you gotta kill on sight.

23. What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn’t / don’t even remember?

Joy so rarely feels guilt, but I think she holds a non-zero amount of guilt for her past ruining a lot of the underground network she and her ex partner (???) Norma built for ferrying refugees to safety. I don’t think she ever was able to explain the complexity of her past lives and twin soul, and so Norma doesn’t know the real reasons why it was broken down

42. If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

Joy’s TED talk would start as a fun lecture on music and performance, and then she would start bringing up really thinly veiled commentary about class inequality and she’d inexplicably intertwine kickass music with a very charged hidden message of “fuck the man.” She’d title it: “lo-fi beats to revolt to”

56. If they’re scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear? (Joy)

Joy doesn’t feel fear towards “average” things, but when she was still facing the huge unknown of her lost memories of past lives, that scared her to an existential degree. She did find comfort in her party members, who for some reason stuck around and refused to be swayed by her bad choices. Without them, she’d probably seek the comfort of a good tavern and a nice lay, tbh. and sometimes she’ll do that anyway xD

For Kara:

48. Who would they say ‘yes’ to if invited to do something they abhorred / strongly didn’t want to do? (Kara)

Kara hates going to most large social gatherings, but would always go and keep Hua company as the setting’s companion of the avatar, and she never lets her little brother suffer alone. Sometimes her friends Sakiko and Shisui will talk her out of the air temple to participate in their weird wrestling events, and she’d always sweep the floor on everyone and leave as quickly as possible 😂

50. What belief / moral / personality trait do they stand by that you (mun) personally don’t agree with? (Kara)

Oh this is tough…well I guess for one, Kara is much more willing to go the “murder” route, even if she’s now a serene monk that does peace talks every day, than I am. I also think she’s a lot more devoted to a fault than myself, which I used to be 😅 but Kara has a single minded devotion that led her to some sad consequences and mistakes…

For Clio:

22. What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character? (Clio)

This is so embarrassing for her, but being a rich kid growing up never having to do the most basic chores…Clio cannot figure out laundry. She’s terrified of ruining her fanciest clothes and is baffled about the concept of clotheslines. “I mean some random stranger can just snatch my stockings whenever they want!”

37. What’s a secret they haven’t told serious romantic partners and don’t plan to tell? (Clio)

Ohohohoh…I don’t think Clio would ever tell anyone, including romantic partners (even her lifelong crush & eventual partner Po), about the origins of some of the scars she has from childhood. Some are self-inflicted, while others were punishments for misbehaving or failing to meet expectations of her parents. Clio would have a very hard time bringing those memories up, and no amount of therapy would make it easier to talk about.

47. Who have they forgotten about that remembers them very well? (Clio)

I think there was a bard we met on the road in the campaign I played her in, and she really heckled him and gave him tons of shit. I bet he remembers her 😂 Alternatively, I think she probably bullied another kid at magic school and it really left an impression on them, but Clio eventually goes through her Redemption Arc (tm) and forgets she did that. Maybe they confront her 50 years later and she’s like, “oh, shit. Sorry, um. Here’s 100gp. Does that..make up for it?”

[taketwoinink]

I posted 1,942 times in 2022

That's 1,942 more posts than 2021!

355 posts created (18%)

1,587 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@chilikit

@secretsinthevoid

@eleilinnrallin

@moony4pads

@thatfaecreaturee

I tagged 1,500 of my posts in 2022

Only 23% of my posts had no tags

#reblog - 202 posts

#mutuals - 105 posts

#answered asks - 81 posts

#thatfaecreaturee - 64 posts

#queer - 60 posts

#signed in ink - 53 posts

#the ink answers - 45 posts

#yes - 43 posts

#<3 - 38 posts

#tumblr trick or treat - 37 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#also i was trying to write this story and i was going to push the coming out until like five chapters in and no it happened like right away

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sister: "Don't date your friends, you're not going to be able to stay friends after you break up"

Me, a demiromantic:

61 notes - Posted July 11, 2022

#4

this is kind of a half-baked thought but here we go

there's this thing commonly said in the trans community of "we didn't pick our genders, this is just the way we are"

yes, this is true

however, I do want to bring attention to the idea that perhaps it isn't true 100% of the time. And for those people, whoever they may be, who maybe don't feel as if they were always trans, you're valid too in whatever gender you choose to be!

I think that saying we were born this way is how we kind of argue against transphobes and people saying that we're just confused or we don't know what we're talking about. And for so many of us, it's true! personally, yes, I feel as though I was never a woman but have always been something else but hadn't yet figured that out. (which is why I feel weird saying I discovered I was nonbinary because yes that is the true but in a way I've always been nonbinary. that's a talk for another day though)

But as I've thought about it, I've come to the conclusion that in any other timeline, when placed with the option to be a cis woman, I would choose to be nonbinary every time.

And not everyone would.

And that's okay! We're all different! Being trans/nonbinary is a struggle. It's isolating and sometimes feels hopeless and it's frankly just a lot to deal with. And everyone deals with it in different levels and different situations.

So I believe that not all trans people are born this way. AND THAT'S OKAY. They are every bit as valid as any other trans person, or any other person in general! And people who were born this way? Also valid!

Whatever reason someone may feel as if their gender switched, maybe it's trauma, maybe it's preference changing over time, maybe it's just something random and not completely understood, it doesn't matter.

I think they should be recognized and included just the same as anyone else.

-- I haven't ever actually met someone who has told me that they don't feel as if they were trans their entire life. However, if someone can change sexuality over time, then why shouldn't it be possible for someone's gender to change over time as well? I understand that there are a lot of differences in how sexuality and gender evolve, but there are also a lot of similarities.

Just something to think about.

64 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

#3

Here is the longer version of the thunderstorm for anyone who wants it!

71 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

#2

oops I made another one

Aromantics:

and another one

See the full post

79 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Alrighty folks, you know the drill.

I found another picrew

tagging! @earthtokit @gemstarstarlight @venusqq @thatfaecreaturee @jinxneedssleep @eleilinnrallin (if you're into this sort of thing!) @quinnick @chaserofstarsandtheabyss @secretsinthevoid @lilywolfgray @elumax-archive @ringnea (ONE DAY YOU HAVE TO SUBMIT TO MY WILL AND DO ONE OF THESE)

547 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[bardic-inspo]

15 Questions

Tagged by @vault-heck. Thank you!! 

Tagging back if you want to (no pressure if you’d rather not): @electricshoebox, @some27-url, @persephotea, @wishing4nuclearwinter, @totally-not-deacon, @just-another-wasteland-merc, @alannabix88, @alder-berry, @mercurymiscellany, @thedreamwolf, @seduce-me-with-coffee, and whoever else would like to!

1. Are you named after anyone? Nope.

2. When was the last time you cried? I got a little teary on Saturday when we left home to play D&D at a friend’s house a few hours away. It was the first time we left our kitty cat home alone overnight in our new place and I was feeling a little sensitive about it. He was completely fine and he probably slept most of the time we were gone.

3. Do you have kids? No, but maybe, probably, having one someday.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Me? Never. (Absolutely).

5. What sports do you play/have you played? When I was younger, swimming and cross country running. I don’t run at all anymore, it sort of fucked up my knees. I would love to get back into swimming again sometime in the near future. I semi-frequently do yoga at home, and would like to get into biking again. I’ve almost-nearly bought a bike several times over the past few years, but always found an excuse not to (mostly broken toes and long winters). I also have my scuba certification, if that counts, but the certification process was spread over two years (because of the broken toes) and I don’t feel qualified in the least, if I’m being honest.

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people? Their voice, if I hear them speaking. Otherwise, I guess...just, vibes? A gut reaction of however they make me feel based on what they’re saying/doing and especially how they’re saying/doing it. 

7. Eye color? Hazel, leaning heavily towards green.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Both is good!

9. Any special talents? I think I’m a decent writer, and a somewhat insightful person/deep thinker. 

10. Where were you born? Midwest U.S.

11. What are your hobbies? Writing, video games, dungeons & dragons, reading (sporadically), dabbling in random artstuffs as the mood takes me, travelling to places I’ve never been, helping my cat live his best life.

12. Do you have any pets? My kitty cat, Leo, is about 8.5 years old (I cannot believe!!). We adopted him from a shelter when he was 5, and that was probably one of the best things that ever happened to me.

I grew up with a goldendoodle named Teddy, and I do love dogs, but I very much do not want to own a dog and owning a cat has reinforced that quite a bit for me, just due to the lifestyle changes/amount of work to take care of them elements.

‘Leo’ was the name my kitty’s prior owners gave him, and we didn’t have another name in mind, so we kept it. If we had ended up with a girl cat, we may have named/re-named her “Neset” and called her “Nessie” for short. Neset was a recurring villain in a D&D campaign I played in, and was also know as “the shadow of Egypt”. She was a monk/rogue multiclass who escaped our party probably five times on the brink of death before we eventually captured her.  I

13. How tall are you? 5′1″

14. Fave subject in school?  In college, I liked political science so much I ended up minoring in it sort of on accident, because I kept defaulting back to those courses while figuring out my actual major. In high school, probably psychology or language/literature.

15. Dream job? Not having to have one?

I think would enjoy being a writer, as a job, if and only if my financial wellbeing didn’t depend on it, and I was writing what I wanted/decided to write. That being said, some sort of story or narrative work. Maybe as an editor, or some sort of concept-person. I also really enjoyed anthropology, poli sci, and research in general in college, and if I wasn’t certain academia would ruin me mentally and financially, I might enjoy that, too. These are all dreams and don’t sound like real jobs one could have with the terms/conditions I’m describing.

[radioblonde]

so I'm starting this here

I'm just some other happy, free, confused, and lonely junior in college who didn't understand how perfectly aligned those four words were back in 2012 when Red (OG and ONLY version) was released.

So, I'm taking a rhetoric of pop culture class (pop cultural analysis thru the lens of Taylor Swift AAH!) that has inspired me to finally join Tumblr after the literal decade I've spent taking influence, in every single way, from this damn site.

Like, why haven't I been blogging my life down forever? What the fuck is the use of a journal anyway? jk #diaries4ever

I write a lot about the things that I'm blessed to experience. and I'd love to share for whoever might relate or love it themselves.

I spoke to my about this last week. I used to get insecure when speaking up about my opinion sometimes, like I wouldn't say the right things or hurt the wrong feelings. She told me that sometimes--people forget that we're all going through the same shit. some are more scared than others, but only because the others were once just as scared too. we all move past it someday. So as it turns out, all those ppl were actually right when they said comparison is the thief of joy. we've all got things to say and do, whether independently or with ppl alongside. if it's in words, it's in the world. Why tuck it away in your own world, when nothing's as it seems even in the real world? We learn best when put into practice. So fuck it.

separate thought, but remember needing to put "Tumblr" when searching up anything online? it was literally the only way. why did Tumblr even fall off like that. I feel like it's so creatively unique. I get the surface-level mainstream community online kinda giving up on it, but how abt the writers, creatives, and artsy girls of our generation? are they on it, and I'm just late af??

I used to have one of those Tumblr summer bucket list accounts with my best friend growing up...without actually using Tumblr. in all fairness, we were literally on the internet at like 10 years old. a pre-teen can only learn so much at once LOL.

I started stanning Taylor Swift when her and I stopped being friends. In like 2014. iconic ass time. even tho I was literally 11, I'm so nostalgic over it lol. I wanted to be a teenager then so bad. I wonder how I'll feel about high school in 2019-2022 in the future--If that nostalgia could ever beat Tumblr nostalgia (and that's coming from someone who lived vicariously thru it on IG!)

her and I were besties for like all of high school. but our second breakup, end of senior year, was the realest. everything and everyone was embarrassing. especially me. Lowkey depressing. So, I left Miami for college, excited to meet new people or new vibes... until I eventually realized that I've never comfortably fit in anywhere just yet. Maybe I should just blame Florida. or maybe it's cause I've been made to believe I'm not Latina enough (that's bs. Ik where I come from). maybe it's all bs, and I just need to finally move to NYC with Chan, my childhood bestie. all I know is that it doesn't really matter what city I'm in if I know where I wanna go.

Third year now. Still got Taylor. and I've come to love those random experiences and memories that once felt like blades puncturing my lungs. the bright side of every situation is actually, really cute. cause fr, apart from irl limits or calamity, what you see is what you get.

Anyways, I'm bringing back Tumblr, if it's even as dead as it seems rn.

[krakensdottir]

I attempted to transcribe it for people using screen readers, I hope I did alright. Here’s the thread, friends.

Transcript of a Twitter thread by fooler initiative (@metroadlib) on June 9, 2023:

I LITERALLY stopped working on my memo so I could read this indictment.

I am on page 24 and JESUS LUPITA NYONG’O CHRIST.

HOW this man still has the capacity to shock me after everything that’s happened, i’ll never know.

but I am sitting here *STUNNED*.

I’ll be honest–

Because i really DO lean into naivete sometimes. It’s difficult for me to assume the worst from people, even when they have done all of the worst things.

So this wholllllle time, i’ve been thinking, “wonder why he didn’t give back those docs. He’s probably lost them.”

And also, “this dingus just grabbed shit from the White House because he’s too stupid to know he couldn’t. he probably doesn’t even realize what he has.”

Lol.

Nooooooooooooooooooooope.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooope.

This was a DELIBERATE and CONCERTED effort to remove the most sensitive docs the country has, and KEEP them…and then SHOW THEM TO PEOPLE AT HIS LEISURE WHILE *ACKNOWLEDGING* THAT HE WAS NEITHER SUPPOSED TO HAVE THEM OR SHOW THEM…

He haphazardly stored the docs ANY DAMNED WHERE…INCLUDING…IN A GODDAMNED BATHROOM SHOWER…they were chucked to some random room in Mar a Lago, and occasionally the boxes–because there were SOOOOOOOOO MANY– would tumble down…And TOP SECRET DOCUMENTS…DOCUMENTS HAVING TO DO WITH DEFENSE PLANS, MILITARY CAMPAIGNS, NUKES, YOU NAME IT…DOCUMENTS *CLEARLY MARKED* “TOP SECRET” AND “SECRET” AND “CONFIDENTIAL” AND TWO OTHER DESIGNATIONS I’D NEVER EVEN HEARD OF BEFORE TODAY…BUT WHICH APPARENTLY MEAN SUPER DUPER DUPER DOUBLE PINKY SWEARSIES REALSIES SECRET…WOULD JUST…SPILL OUT ONTO THE GODDAMN FLOOR…AND LIE THERE…EXPOSED FOR ALL TO SEE…JUST…NAKED AND BARING ALL TO THE WORLD LIKE A NATIONAL SECURITY FULL MONTY.

AND AS IF *THAT* WEREN’T ENOUGH…the Archives asked this MF fifty-leven times to give all this stuff back. And 45 would be all, “I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING I GOT. DAMN. SHIT. THERE’S NOTHING HERE.”

THEN HE WOULD HAVE HIS AIDES MOVE THE BOXES…AND HE WOULD TRAVEL WITH THE BOXES.

And some member of his family…Ivanka or Melania or Lara…ALSO knew he had the boxes…

But he would TRAVEL WITH THEM. BECAUSE THAT WAS–PRESUMABLY–THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE SURE HE KEPT THEM.

BUT WHAT’S WILDER STILL…IS THAT THIS MF HAD LAWYERS WHO WERE LIKE, “Fam. For serious. You need to turn in ANYTHING that you have that is a file and belongs to the US Government. DEAD. ASS.”

And 45 was all…TO THE LAWYERS…TO THESE OFFICERS OF THE COURT…”couldn’t y’all just tell them there’s nothing here?” and “wouldn’t it be better if we just…kinda like…burned all this shit…you know…if it were here…*hypothetically*.”

And one lawyer was all…

And he was like, “you got this subpoena on May 11. I’m coming through on the first of the month to run through that WHOLE SHIT…and I’ma make sure *NOTHING* that belongs to THESE UNITED ASS STATES is in that garish monstrosity you pretend is a house.”

SO 45 has his body man and his aides MOVE THE BOXES AGAIN. LIKE JUST…SCORES OF BOXES…HE HAS THEM MOVE A GAZILLION BOXES AGAIN…TO HIDE THEM FROM…HIS *LAWYERS*.

AND THENNNNNN…THE NIGHT BEFORE THE DAY HIS LAWYER IS SUPPOSED TO COME THROUGH…HE CALLED HIM…AND WAS LIKE, “Aye, dawg. You still coming tomorrow? I was sitting here talking to the homies and like…we don’t know why you’re coming. Why are you coming?”

And the lawyer was like, (*presumably deep sigh here*), “I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I’m coming through to move through the house and make sure I can tell them we complied with the subpoena. I’m gonna make sure you don’t have anything you’re not supposed to. Okay?”

And 45 is like, “OHHHHH! Right. Cool. Coolcoolcoolcool…cool. Come on through, then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Then he hung up.

AND HAD HIS BODYMAN MOVE MORE BOXES.

I have to keep reading. But what I really need you to know, is that whoever drafted this is giving us NEXT LEVEL caliber Dorian Corey shade.

Because SPRINKLED THROUGHOUT…are excerpts from quotes that Donald Trump gave the press during campaigns and his presidency–boasting about how good he’d be at keeping this country’s secrets safe…how we needed a return to discretion and how people who violated national security laws and breached the protections afforded our most sensitive docs needed to be punished with the full might of the law.

For real.

For real.

GASP.

The lawyer went to Mar a Lago, and 45 and his aides were just sitting there, like, “oh yeah. This guy wants to make sure we’ve turned all the stuff in. somebody take him back to the room and make sure he’s comfortable.”

The lawyer goes, looks around…and finds 38 things that were top secret.

And, honest to God…I think they left that stuff there deliberately so that it wouldn’t look like they’d cleaned house.

So the lawyer packages up what’s left…goes back out, and 45 has the AU-GODDAMNED-DACITY TO BE LIKE, “Wassup? How we lookin’?”

HAND TO GOD, this man says, “Is it good? Is it bad?”

AS THOUGH HE HADN’T DIRECTED EVERYONE TO CLEAN HOUSE.

THEN when the lawyer shrugs and indicates that there’s still some Chester Copperpot level shit in the box he’s carrying, 45 MIMES taking out the secret stuff and disposing of it…MIMES.

WITH HIS WEE HANDS.

The lawyer apparently ignores it, and is like, “Okay. I’m gonna bring in last lawyer and I’m gonna tell her that I went all the way through everything you said you had. Then I’m gonna tell her that what I’m holding RIGHT NOW is the last of ANYthing that you have and aren’t supposed to. SO IF THERE IS ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS HOUSE, TELL ME NOW. CAUSE SHE’S COMING WITH AN OFFICIAL ASS PAPER THAT I AM TENDERING TO THE FEDS…AND WE DON’T LIE TO THE FEDS…SO IS THIS IT, DONALD?”

And 45 is like, “on my mama.”

So the lawyer brings the other lawyer in, and is like, “This is it. This is everything. So you can safely put your good name and your good Bar ID number on this super official sworn statement. Because 45 said this is it and we’ve complied.”

Let me just stop for a moment, right here and tell you that I would *literally* die first…

I would *literally* *DIE* before I relied on that man’s representations.

I’d lie down in the center of my living room floor–cover myself up in a blanket–rollllllll fro wall to wall, back and forth, until I was Dexter secure in the bedding–and then will my body to cease breathing…before I’d put MY NAME on some shit off the STRENGTH of Donald Gargamel John Trump’s word.

So the lawyers turned that weak ass certification in…and told the NATIONAL ARCHIVES RECORDS ADMINISTRATION…THE ENTITY CHARGED WITH THE TASK OF MAINTAINING OUR COLLECTIVE MEMORY AS A NATION…

“That’s all we got.”

AS IF THIS FEDERAL AGENCY…WHOSE *CHIEF* RESPONSIBILITY IS *LITERALLY* TO *KEEP* THINGS…WOULDN’T KNOW…THIS VERITABLE MOUNTAIN OF DOCUMENTS…WAS MISSING.

...Just read this thread. JUST READ IT.

[twobillionseconds]

May 24th - May 27th 2024

May 24th:

Friday woo hoo. I can't remember much. I did some work. I went to the gym for sure. For dinner I met up with a buddy of mine. He had a grad school buddy visiting. We decided to show him around San Diego. We hung out at a bar that had a virtual golf studio. Learned how to swing. After we went to another bar. Since my buddy is getting divorced he is unleashing the beast so to speak. After that bar we went downtown and hit up couple places. The night ended up meeting some random people.

May 25th:

Woke up relatively early but I went back to sleep. Had a late start to the day as expected. I did some errands around the house. Took the dog for a long walk. Made myself some lunch at home. Since it was a Saturday night they wanted to go out again. So we started out at a bar with some pool tables to get the night rolling. After we hit up more places down in other parts of the city. It was one hell of a night. It was a tamer night for me because I was the DD. For my buddies, they definitely had their fill of liquor for sure. One of my buddies threw up a couple times. Made sure they got home safe and I chilled at home.

May 26th:

Woke up late as expected. Did the usual things, like walking the dog and what not. I went for a run in the afternoon. I just needed a good cardio session. After I cleaned up and met up at another buddies' place. A few of the guys got together to hear my buddy's story from Vegas. We chilled in the hot tub for a while. After a few of us got dinner and hung out for a bit. A lot tamer night.

May 27th:

Woke up later. Not as late as the nights before. Going out on the weekends is a young man's game. Anyway did the usual things. Today is a holiday so no work. Thank god. I needed today to just recover. I just hung around the house. Took the dog to the beach and the park. Sort of a reward for putting up with my weird schedule this weekend. In the evening the damn YouTube algorithm put this fitness instructor's video and I have been binge watching that. I gotta get ready for my trip. Headed to the bay and then to Japan.

I'm just thinking right now. It's almost 11:30 and I am listening to some pensive music. Worse time to listen to this stuff because your mind leads you down into some rabbit holes. One of the videos that had the music on had this picture of what appeared to be 4 teenagers walking around dusk along a coast some where. It brought back memories of when I was in high school and college where I did that stuff with friends.

Nostalgia. Powerful emotion. In some ways those were some of the best times of my life. There was a level of innocence and naivety that in some ways I really miss. I remember in high school we would sneak out and take our parents cars and just drive around town and to the beach. The summers were the best because at night the temperature would be just right. We would park somewhere by the beach and hang out til 3 or 4 in the morning so that we can sneak back in. I still have to say that the summer after high school graduation was one of the best summers I've experienced. I wish I could go back to that. I wish I took pictures of it. I just have to dig through my mind and draw the pictures mentally.

College was pretty good too. Made friends that I still talk to today. Actually all the people that I am thinking about right now I still maintain contact. We try to get together when we can, but you know life happens.

I guess I am pretty blessed to have met the people that I consider close friends. The fact that we still talk to each other even though it's periodical. Life's short. You just gotta enjoy it to the best you can. I am of the belief that at the end of your life your success should be measured by how many people will be at your funeral. Whether it be children, grandchildren, other relatives, friends or whoever it maybe, I think the saddest part is to have nothing to show for. Then again in a 100 years everyone who attended your funeral will be long gone too and no one will even remember who you were. Well, I guess it doesn't matter how you go.

Anyway. I know I was very stupid in my younger days, but I wish I could relive it too. For the most part I actually like my life right now, but I know that this too will not last. The only thing that I wish I had were a couple kids. The wife and I have been struggling for the past 4 or 5 years with this. I know that there is a good chance that we will never experience the joys and sorrows of parenthood, but we are still fighting the best we can. The odds aren't favorable.

Because of this I feel like just saying fuck it and let me just experience all the pleasures of life. We've been doing the whole fertility thing for a long time. It's frustrating as hell. I fucked up a lot. I'm trying to be better. I'll keep on fighting. I tend to get nihilistic, but you know, in the face of completely meaningless void, I rather go out fighting for things that I want than to just lie still and have the universe happen to me. It's a stupid position because if it doesn't matter then why bother? But something in me keeps wanting to fight. You gotta fight. If you can move and do something about it, you have to fight. That's at least my philosophy.

[tirsden]

Last time, we started out with Shane the child ruler of Iceland battling for power with her regent Sigfus, who I have since confirmed was indeed her chancellor once she wrenched the throne from him (I wasn't sure last round, memory holes and whatnot). His obnoxious ass had declared war on me after I failed to assassinate him, and I realized belatedly it was probably because he was in my court and my beefy intrigue perks had high protection specifically on my court… whoopsie.

Either way, I'd kicked him out of my court by the time he declared war. So, now we're down to a sliver of land after being imprisoned for crimes against the former-regent-and-counsellor-turned-Jarl, which was fixed up right quick with some ransom gold because Sigfus is a doof. I'm still chieftainess? Good. We can work with this.

While fleshing out my family tree, I noticed that I was actually listed as an heir to the entire country… after Sigfus's one and only child. Hmmmmm, but he has a relatively young wife, that's not good. Oh well, sonny and waifu didn't last long. And the hard lock on trying to kill Sigfus himself was coming to an end, just as I saw he betrothed himself to a 12 year old girl. Don't worry sweetie, you're gonna be fine. Meanwhile, Sigfus kept trying to revoke my titles? My claims? The mechanics for that stuff is confusing, but I think he managed to sort-of mess two of them up which will become relevant later, but for now… he's running out of time.

Sigfus died of snake, going to his grave with the nickname "The Greedy" which surprises nobody. Everyone forget he ever existed, please and thank you. Iceland is mine again, bwahahaha! And I packed the court, which eventually had two of my own kids, and I kept killing off bishops because each new guy hated me so much, can't imagine why.

My firstborn son Richard lost his damned arm while training with one of my marshals, wtf. I actually had a lot of problems with marshals, or shall I say, my former-spymaster hubby Gunnarr did. He kept whining that they were insulting him, so I kept banishing them. One more time, dearest hubster, and I'm killing you instead. He died of old age before he could bitch about New Guy Number Whatever, go fig.

Ring in the new hopefully-less-gripey hubby, and enough people have been turned into witches behind the scenes that I formed a coven. The coven included none other than the one bishop I decided NOT to kill, partly because he was young and I'm thinking about the future now.

Then Richard died, and that wasn't good for the ol' stress level… rocked further by the death of my good friend and oceanic neighbor the Bastard King of Norway. Sadface. I now had to deal with a wrench in my inheritance plans, as Richard's lone son yoinked himself into the next-in-line slot ahead of my remaining sons. Said kiddo didn't like me. And had a funny name (I think I'd hit the randomizer at the time of birth). Gosh, people die so easily around here!

Xander, one of my sons I actually wanted to succeed me now, became first in line after the death of whoever-that-was. I noticed not long after this, that he wasn't going to inherit the titles for two sections of land I owned (I thiiiink this is from Sigfus's shenanigans). Thus, I bestowed those titles upon my youngest son Kaito, because I need more practice with vassals after my whole "taking over the entire country" thing and have been sole ruler of everything ever since. Did I mention Kaito is 11? He has some lady as a regent now in his new vassaldoms, while mumsy has flashbacks of her childhood.

The timing of deciding land ownership couldn't have been more poignant, as Shane died not much later. Nine kills under her delicate belt, and never lost "The Witch" as her nickname. I love her epitaph, except "burn" should be "serve popsicles" of course. And the crown is handed down… with the kingdom immediately trying to fracture via my spymaster-hubby's son Gunnarr thinking he has any right to the throne just cuz he's named after the husband I had for an actual long time. Sheesh.

Good luck, Xander. You're gonna need it.

[rubyastari]

Re-Arranging Life

As cliche as this sounds, I agree with the notion that we tend to take so many things for granted. We often forget that nothing lasts forever. Everything may change any second. Anything goes.

Even before the Covid-19 pandemic happened, I’d sort of dreaded the possibility – but also realised that sometimes, there’s only so much that you can do. Oftentimes, it’s inevitable. It’s bound to happen, one way or another.

If that’s the case, then the only thing anyone can do is to just let go. Let it go. (Don’t sing it.)

Before The Covid-19 Pandemic:

I think I’ve taken a lot of things for granted. (Don’t we all do that at some point these days?) Long before the pandemic, I’d enjoyed so many things. I’m trying to do that again now and it’s not easy.

Hanging out in public space without wearing a mask. I honestly miss doing that now. I sometimes forget wearing one. Of course, that never lasts long. Once I see people in public wearing them (although not all anymore), I quickly put mine on.

Hehe, I never forget to keep some spare masks in my bag.

By the way, I know the term ‘face diapers’ or “face nappies” is used as a bad joke here. Whoever finds this funny, you’re disgusting. Enough said.

I’ve also spent a large part of my life attending live concerts. I remember being 11 and begging my parents to let me watch Color Me Badd ... and Bryan Adams a year after that.

Since then, I’ve lost count on the number of music concerts that I went to. Local and international artists. Solo musicians and bands. Boybands, rock bands, jazz bands – you name them. Single performances and festivals. Attending alone and with other people too.

How I miss those days ...

2020 – The Very First Year of The Covid-19 Pandemic:

I’m not going to lie to you. It was easy and difficult at the same time. I’ve always loved the idea of working from home ( #WFH ). I don’t have to wake up super early to get everything ready for work, unless there’s a deadline coming. I’ll just log in from my rented room – or some cafe nearby.

Back then, going out felt unusually scary. Everyone was wearing a mask and keeping their distance from each other. You’d get ugly stares in public for not doing the same thing.

At first, I thought I was okay with that. I figured that meant more time to read, write, and watch whatever I liked. That meant staying away from people I’d rather not see without lying to them or giving them false excuses why we couldn’t meet.

I admit, it was fun for a while ...

... until it no longer was ...

Then I started missing a lot of fun things I used to do. Hanging out with friends at a coffee shop. Attending poetry gigs. Going places. Travelling. Even my anxiety had worsened on me too, when I learned that some friends had started disappearing on me ...

... or just passed away.

2021 – The Second Year of The Covid-19 Pandemic: The Transition

I consider 2021 a struggle. First, I had to readjust to starting over with the real world out there. Going out and travelling again were filled with worry, since the virus was still around and had multiplied.

I was still wearing a mask, out of real fears. Both my siblings caught Covid in a span of days. So did my two young nephews (my sister’s eldest sons).

It was a miracle that I’d been okay ... so far. There were a few ‘scary episodes’ regarding the similar symptoms, but the results were always negative. (Thank God!)

I started writing a novel out of randomness, a challenge proposed by a friend. For the first time ever in my life, I tried finishing a rom-com and I did.

It was also the year of major confusions. I lost a friend and another old one re-emerged from the dark. I thought I could write some more like I’d originally planned to.

Oh, well. Sometimes one can only do their best. Life goes on ...

December 2022:

So, this year is almost over. I honestly feel like I haven’t achieved much. I know my friends will tell me not to be hard on myself. I thank them for that.

Still, I’m not going to lie to you: I am disappointed. I should’ve done so much more.

For now, I’m just going to finish work before the year-end holiday. Then I’ll be spending the long break with my family at home. My second nephew Gyan-ku has been asking me to have a “Wednesday” marathon with him.

Well, we’ll see. I’m curious with that myself.

I’m still trying to write more regularly, despite my busy schedule. I know it’s been a while since I last submitted something here.

I haven’t given up yet. It’s been a struggle to find the time, though.

R.

[onemorecupofcoffee]

I posted 1,291 times in 2022

That's 1,291 more posts than 2021!

150 posts created (12%)

1,141 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@throwoutyourgoldteeth

@shoelessmuppet

@harriyanna

@transcostanza

@buggachat

I tagged 675 of my posts in 2022

Only 48% of my posts had no tags

#seinfeld - 58 posts

#saves - 29 posts

#jerry seinfeld - 14 posts

#i love them - 13 posts

#only murders in the building - 11 posts

#george costanza - 11 posts

#actually - 10 posts

#miraculous - 10 posts

#omitb - 10 posts

#literally - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 116 characters

#prev i agree but it's really funny to watch the random queer moments in seinfeld and them act like it never happened

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

idec what y’all are saying about high school musical, teen beach movie is the best disney channel movie of all time. it’s so self aware and absolutely idiotic and it’s the perfect combo of action, suspense, romance, and cheesiness

56 notes - Posted June 5, 2022

#4

the new omitb episode was insane honestly i can’t believe it was 30 min it felt like 15... also i doubt that detective is the murderer, and even if he is there will be a twist, i feel like whoever it is tina fey had something to do with it... also they never resolved fey’s assistant saying she had bodies covered up and shit

60 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

#3

the glass scientists did jekyll and hyde SO much better than the fucking monster high movie. and the monster high movie was made by a giant corporation while the glass scientists has a very small team of people. 

61 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

#2

final only murders final only murders final only murders

warning: huge spoilers for only murders s2 finale!!

so. there is a s3 confirmed and a lil teaser for it in the finale, so glad that’s there like last time.

i feel like the fact that paul rudd’s character died will cause disagreement between charles and oliver, especially bc the creator said s3 will focus on oliver, and that charles is shown to dislike him while oliver thinks he’s perfect for the role.

anyways, back to the main plot. all those fake outs were absolutely wild and i loved each and every one of them. i sort of suspected it bc there is no way cinda could have known poppy was becky and poppy telling the truth. it just didn’t make sense, so when it was revealed cinda didn’t know, it made me suspect poppy a lot more. i also like how the detective that was helping came into play and gave them the final piece of evidence. it was also cool how it tied into the first season as poppy seemingly didn’t like that she never got credit, and that was her trigger in the end.

92 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

no i’m just like george costanza. i hate myself but am also narcissistic. i think every little thing wrong with me is a serious disease. i lie for no reason other than self-gain. i worry what others think of me but also don’t care.

169 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

posting this to keep

[jiffygis]

[SILHOUETTE] John Doe X Reader.

So this is the chapter two of this fanfic. As always, it was originally written and posted first on wattpad (@CassTea) so you can find more chapters and faster updates in there.

No warmings for this chapter, and the reader is Female presenting.

Also, I added a small mention from my favourite book, with a mention of a character from it. Nobody seemed to notice it, so I may aswell just say it. I won't put the name of the book tho, I still hope to find someone that knows it lol.

Tangling your fingers, you stood in the cold and poorly lightened subway station. It was obvious how whoever was in charge, truly didn't care about giving maintenance to this old place; it had obviously seen better days, the traces of that were still there, hard to find but there if you looked right.

It wasn't way too early in the morning, of course, after all your shift started at 4 pm and ended at 11 pm, when your "co worker" (if you could call them that because you knew literally nothing about them) would arrive and take your place. Yet... It was way too empty. This was a busy hour, usually there were students, workers and many other people around, waiting to catch the bus but today, it was... You looked around. - It's literally empty...-

Soon after, the fast yet not too violent wind hit your face and scrambled your hair all over the place. This took you by surprise, you quickly stepped back with an exclamation, -JESUS FUCK-. You were so lost half in your thoughts and the rest on your phone, that you hadn't noticed how close you were to the edge. You were exactly stepping the yellow line that was there to warn you. It was a beautiful "I'm literally the most bright colour down here and you still can't see me dumbass" yellow.

This however, woke you up.

It was a weird phenomenon. When you used to go to school, you would sleep at 2 in the morning and wake up at 5 am. You were tired and cold all damn day. Now you had all the time in the world to sleep, but there wasn't enough time in the entire universe that could possibly be enough for you. You would usually sleep between 10 - 11 am and woke up at 2 pm to go to work. You sometimes pondered where the hell your time went, because you could somehow never seem to finish anything you started.

In your mind, those weird and tall gray men that deceitfully stole people's time making them believe they were actually investing it and saving it for later, were the ones who were taking it away from you, only in silence. You weren't accompanied by a turtle with a weird name tho.

- seriously, Casiopea?? I mean it's not bad but... - you were discussing the turtle's name with yourself as you set foot inside of the empty wagon. It didn't took you long to notice tho, only after the doors closed and you looked up did your eyes captured the body chilling image in front of you. It was empty, completely empty. There were times you had used the subway and there weren't many people, but it was never empty.

You calmed down, surely the other wagons were crowded but you were lucky enough to have a whole wagon to yourself? It was... Great! It was great.

You smiled and sighed, it wasn't too bad- you were just overthinking.

-I can sit wherever I want?- you held the power now. (Y/n) ruler of the empty wagon, magic less witch yet the most powerful sourcerer that would ever set foot in this old wagon.

You swinged yourself in the pole, then started to quietly sing a random song, which quickly turned into a full opera concert in which you played three roles: the singer, the public and the director.

You were having way too much fun over nothing, and you looked ridiculous without a doubt, but honestly you deserved it, you deserved a break.

The sudden stop of the subway took you by surprise and made you loose your balance. Had you already arrived? But that was way too fast!.

The doors hadn't open, it was weird. - Maybe some malfunction? Damn it, you were gonna arrive late. You threw yourself at one of the seats, huffing and crossing your arms. Such luck.

As if by your doing, the doors opened not soon after. Looking outside you could see how empty it still was.

A poisonous seed of fear was planted into your chest, liberating uneasiness and, of course, fear as soon as it bloomed.

The place was poorly iluminated by some led lights and dragged hollowness along with it. You never got down on this station, but you did knew it because of the subway always stopping to let some people out... But you could've sworn this was 5 more minutes up ahead; you were very familiar with your schedule and you knew the time it took from station to station.

A void started to fill your chest. This isn't right, no no it isn't. Something bad was about to happen, you could just feel it.

You stopped staring outside but you couldn't take your frozen hands off of the frame of the electric doors.

There was no one there, it was impossible for there to be any sort of sound yet the more time that passed, you could slowly start hearing whispers.

It took you a while to process the sounds, because you just couldn't- how? Who could possibly be talking? And it wasn't two or three people, it was a multitude. When you did notice tho, when you finished processing this, your stomach dropped.

You could've sworn you were seeing movement that shouldn't be there at the corner of your eye.

"Please, to whoever listens my full yet weak words, and whoever has the power to get a hold of this situation, help me".

You were so desperate for the doors closing that you started talking nonsense out of fear.

Who were you even talking to? Who were you asking help to? There was no one there. Your words, even if they had value and intention, they had no power.

If someone did heard you, however, they were a merciful being.

Creaking a little bit, you snapping your body back in, the metal doors closed. You kept on looking outside the window, watching how the dark and hollow station started to be left behind.

You stood there, sighing. You leaned over the door, feeling as if that small moment had taken years out of your lifespan, exhausted because of the amount of fear you had felt in such a short moment.

you hadn't noticed the new entity that had shaped it's form into the almost empty space in which you were now standing, but it wouldn't let you take too long since almost right after you turned your back to the door, you heard a small cling in one of the poles. Of course this didn't get a big reaction out of you because, well, you were in a subway after all, it wasn't weird to hear metal sounds. This, however would trigger a bigger reaction after the sound made you look up, at it was at that moment when you noticed the figure standing there, right hand holding onto the silver pole, left hand playing with it's fingers, standing in an awkward, curvated pose that obtruded with the position of their legs bending them in an awkward manner. They were wearing quite a normal outfit, from which the most attention calling things were a black, poorly worn hoodie, a plain shirt with a red eye painted on it and a pair of black converse that looked like they were in a damn crime scene... not all of that brownish oozy thing could possibly be mud... tho it was weird that it didn't stain the floor; of course it should've if they entered by the door, like a normal human being. Their appearance was the last thing that made you jump in fear, rather what made you jump was the fact they just... appeared there. You would've noticed if they had come in but they just appeared there. They weren't even looking up, they were looking down at their fidgeting fingers, face covered by a massive amount of black, messy and tangled hair.

The few lightness that was left in that damn wagon completely dropped and was dragged and replaced by a heavy aura. You felt so uneasy, this had never happened before while on a moving vehicle, but you got nauseous. You felt a knot in your throat, your clothes got uncomfy and the area that hurted the most in your head was your forehead, making all the way down to your eyes, which you felt were gonna explode.

You had to sit down before you puked or something, which you did, the farthest from that person the better.

You were full on alert mode, ready to jump at any suspicious movement. It was already extremely, suspiciously weird they were the only person in the wagon, but ok they were already there what could you do about it, however you would be alert.

How you spoke big ass words for such a damn small brain, because not even 3 minutes after, while playing with your legs, you accidentally kicked your flask. A damn miracle the floor wasn't covered in water right now because the cap of the flask used to malfunction, but while thank goodness that wasn't a problem, you heard the metal clank against the floor and it s l o w l y rolling and making all its way to the feet of that person. This had to be staged, for the love of God no one but you had bad luck like this, "when I look up there will be cameras recording, this is all just part of a stupid YouTube video". Damn right it wasn't, of course not, the idea itself was dumb but you were desperate.

Carefully looking down their way, you could see how their fingers stopped fidgeting, they just looked down at the flask, not moving a muscle, not grabbing it just standing there.

Thank you for your services my loyal companion, but alas, today is the day we part ways my beloved, malfunctioning flask. The partially broken cap was part of your charm, I'll never forgive yo-

- I believe this is yours - spoke a high pitched, yet kind of soft voice.

Jesus Christ just keep it man.

-Oh!- you acted surprised... emphasis on acted, - I'm sorry, I... hadn't noticed -, with the thick ass glass surrounded by metal on the outside, everyone in the North Pole heard that damn flask. You smiled awkwardly.

...

They clearly were waiting for you to go grab it, so against every inch of meat and common sense in your body, you stood up and began walking towards them.

It was a quick action, the apparently kilometre long wagon grew short as you walked down it and, faster that expected, you were grabbing the flask from the floor.

If looks could kill... You would still be alive tbh but if looks could melt you'd be a wiggly liquid by now. You made sure to keep your body not too close and reached out with your arm, when you had the great idea to look up.

Underneath that nest of a hair, was a thin face with a thin nose, elements for a common face but wide open eyes with deep dark, redish eyebags planted underneath them and an almost inhumanly wide smile with very... Very thin teeth were focused on your bent form.

It happened in seconds, but you could've sworn those damned black pupils dilated a bit when you made eye contact. The sudden sight made you stumble and fall on your butt, - owie - you said out of habit, but the light words weren't matching your sloppy and nervous actions, because right now you were rapidly dragging yourself away from the person in front of you. They didn't seem to want to hurt you tho, because in fact they stepped back a step after watching your awkward figure trying to get away from them. You stopped when you made a weird movement and your wrist popped, it didn't hurt as much as the sound scared you because right now you were thinking only the worst, and the worst in this scenario was a broken wrist. It was an exaggeration of course, but you didn't know that at the moment.

At that moment, they stuck out their arm and reached for your flask, grabbing it and bringing it up. Not a word came out from their mouth, they just let go of the pole and reached out their hand towards you.

You weren't a rude person but this literally wasn't the time to give two flying fucks about that, so you stood yourself and stepped back before standing still and firm, trying to show confidence you really didn't had at the moment. - Please give that back - you said signalling at your flask. Stupid moronic flask, it had given you more trouble in 20 minutes than your own dumb actions in the entirety of your life.

That smile on their face didn't disappear at all. - sure - they said, handing it over to you.

In that small exchange, a question popped in your mind, "Do you think he's cute?", Him? - him? -, you and your gigantic mouth. -me?- he said grinning, -you? Uhm, no- do I? No, no comment- you weren't actually talking to him, you were answering the question that popped in your mind... out loud. -on what?- he asked, -hmm- you hummed to God knows who while grabbing the flask out of his han- dude you're so awkward what. He didn't say anything and just let go of it.

-uhm, thanks- you said. Of course you were still scared as shit because of his eyes on you, but at least you were safe... You guessed.

He didn't say anything, just smiled wider if that was even possible.

Not really knowing what to do anymore, you just, sat down back at your place.

My god did you have something in your face?? Why was he staring? He didn't even try to hide it he just literally stared straight at you; was he even blinking? Maybe he did when you did.

And many other dumb questions surged in your mind.

To try and distract yourself from the thought of him pulling out a knife and jumping at you, you took out your phone. You didn't even have internet si you were just looking through your gallery. It was better than nothing.

Slowly you started to fade out of consciousness, but the weird thing is that you didn't even notice when you did, you were just asleep out of nowhere and the next thing you knew, someone was tapping on your shoulder.

"Must be that weird guy" you thought.

However, you were woken out of your slumber by an unknown voice.

-Excuse me, miss?... Miss?- the security guard was shaking your shoulder.

When you opened your eyes, you caught a full sight of your surroundings. There were many people sitting, others standing, people coming in and out of the wagon. -Where did all of them come from?- you mumbled, still not knowing what the fuck was going on.

-This is the last station. Someone brought to our attention that you've been sleeping here for over hour and a half. I'm sorry but you need to exit the wagon if you're not actually going somewhere.

-uh, sure- you said frowning -sorry-. You stood up, and before exiting the wagon you asked -this is the last station, you say?- -that's right- the guard politely answered.

Shit,

you were so late for work.

[anushay]

judging(?) you based off of your enhypen bias. also ignore if this is horrible i made this at 3 am while on call with two of my friends who were singing different songs at the same time. one bitch singing ukrianian while the other beautiful lady was singing english/spanish

idek if this is considered judging or not but this is all a joke cause i’m trying to keep it halal

Jake

jake stans are either whitewashed or really cultured. definitely had a wattpad phase and probably has issues with an older brother/cousin. wears makeup to hide insecurities. honestly y’all are chill for the most part, just really horny

Jungwon

jungwon stans has/had a ariana grande phase. they also seek academic validation just so their parents or whoever they look up to would notice them. idk why but honestly i feel like most of them feel weird with their gender, i just see y’all struggle with gender for some reason.

Sunoo

the only engene ik irl is a sunoo stan should be interesting. y’all honestly are underrated in every situation you’ve been in. super loyal to the point where it kills you. y’all genuinely struggle with your body image. Whether you’re skinny or plus sized you would just never be happy. ACTUALLY Y’ALL ARE NEVER TRUELY HAPPY. idk but i feel like theres this part of you that’s never satisfied,

Jay

I was a jay stan so this should be interesting. Y’all never know what you want and is horny asf. you either have 3 friends or 30 and probably wants a sugar daddy. that’s all i’m going to say. y’all are hot though

Heeseung

loml.

anyways y’all are chill. never know what you want like jay stans but you don’t really care about it. cares too little but suprisingly good with kids. can’t break peoples heart. impulsive as shit. distracts yourself alot on purpose. never stays in one place. y’all are also probably really similar to him in some aspects

Sunghoon

probably has chronic depression. if you’re from an area where hockey is popular, you’re a 100% into hockey boys. y’all are either lazy asf or athletic. lulu lemon freak or has a totally unique style. natural hair colors. the only “unnatural” hair color y’all would get is red. honestly probably was always left out as a kid. depending on your family situation, you’re probably that one kid who either had to take care of your siblings or had to gain responsibility and maturity early cause your older siblings won’t. if you’re an only child than you probably were a parent to your parents. if ur an orphan just leave. orphans shall be burned alive. nah jk, if ur an orphan sunghoon stan that’s just sad. like damn bro how do you expect a random kpop idol to want you when you’re own parents didn’t. loser

Ni-ki

genuinely i have nothing. y’all are mainly middle schoolers and i am not having beef with or am calling out 11-15 year olds (ignoring how i’m thirteen).

nvm, i have some ideas. scared of change, wanna be depressed, probably are those girls who wear a shit ton of highlighter on their nose and inner corners and calls it a look, childhood stuff animal that they cannot live without, victim complex, kins yuki from vampire knight, and if you aren’t japanese then you had a wannabe japanese phase.