#whoa mama! rating: himbo

[isthatmanahimbo]

By anonymous request, today we present to you Sigurd!

Sigurd is the main character and lord of the first half of the game Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War, released for the Super Famicom system in 1996. He's mentioned within the following game, Thracia 776, and has a variety of units in the Heroes mobile game. Sigurd, and Genealogy as a whole, are fan favorites of the franchise, and are notable for breaking new ground in a number of ways - for example, Sigurd was the first Lord unit to have a mount or the ability to use lances. This becomes important in a second.

Due to the graphic limitations at the time of the game's release, Sigurd isn't much to look at physically. He's no mountain of a man, but he's no waif, either, sporting shoulders easily five times the width of his hips, as was the art style prevalent for the time. It can be assumed, however, from his martial prowess that he is more fit than the average person within his universe. What is notable about Sigurd is his strength and his metaphorical beefiness as a playable unit – though he can initially be dismissed by hardcore fans as the "Jagan" of his game (IE, a prepromoted unit that has a tendency to steal experience at the detriment of other units' development), Sigurd's reputation as potentially the most broken unit in the Fire Emblem franchise must be addressed. His stat bases and growths are incredible, he is a mounted unit in a game with the largest maps in the franchise, and he has the rare "genetic" ability to attack twice (a mechanic adjusted in later games to be become standard). It is not unusual to find entire runs just using Sigurd, because those 80's-broad shoulders truly can carry the entire first half of the game. Beefy, perhaps not especially, but strong? The numbers speak for themselves.

But strength is nothing without kindness, and Sigurd continues to shine in this regard. A picture of knightly ideals, the entire game's premise hinges on Sigurd's willingness to fight for the smallfolk of his duchy and the kingdom at large, and to put himself on the line. It must be mentioned at this point that this boy is more heart than sense, because as soon as he learns that shenanigans are afoot (something that he recognizes far before his peers, to his credit), he sets off by himself to stop them. Not "by himself" in the way we normally use it in wartime contexts, wherein we mean "he and a small retinue" - we mean individually, as a man, by himself. Along the way he picks up friends and allies to help him out (and chastise him for being so fucking dumb), but this man really did think to himself "you know who ought to be enough to stop an entire army? Me." The layers of meta in that Sigurd-only speedrun strat make this author's head spin.

And now Sigurd's most exemplary characteristic: is Sigurd a slut? Does Sigurd fuck? For anyone passing familiar with the game, the answer is a trumpeting fanfare of yes, but it cannot be overemphasized how much this is true. In the middle of the invasion of a neighboring castle during the very first chapter, future-wife and mother of his child Deirdre wanders out of a nearby forest for like five minutes to check out what all the hubbub is about. Sigurd takes one (1) look at this random ass woman and decides "that's it, I'll throw it all away right here" - excepting of course that he can have his cake and eat it too, because he's Sigurd, so they marry in the same cutscene, and very, very shortly thereafter have a child.  The speed at which this man went penis delirious cannot be exaggerated, and the ramifications for Little Sigurd's curiosity build the foundation for the entire second half of the game.

No matter what you think of Sigurd as a character, as a unit, as a man, real recognizes real - and that's a real himbo.

Total Himbo Score: 20

[isthatmanahimbo]

Next on our list is the man who, arguably, inspired the idea for this blog to begin with. In a roundabout way.

Raphael Kirsten is a playable character unit from Fire Emblem: Three Houses, released on the Nintendo Switch in 2019. The main premise of Three Houses, and all Fire Emblem games, is to use and build units, which are deployed onto a chessboard-like battlefield to advance the story through tactics and heavy abuse of RNG. Along the course of the game, the player may choose to develop their units as they see fit using gameplay mechanics such as class certifications and support conversations. It is through these support conversations where much of the character development occurs, although the class development also plays an implicit role.

Raphael is a student at Garreg Mach Monastery, and when the player first meets him his costume includes a standard uniform shirt which is not large enough to fit his frame, and his design indicates this by having the front seam strain against his chest. Indeed, an early mechanic introduced is the lost item mechanic, wherein the player returns a lost button which had popped off of Raphael’s shirt. Ain’t nobody working harder than Raphael’s shirt buttons. Buff - check.

During the course of the schoolyear at Garreg Mach Monastery, Raphael cements his role as the man who can be relied upon to train and eat extensively, as he can pretty much always be found in the Training Grounds and the Mess Hall. His favorite topics of conversations during his support conversations are: his muscles, other people’s muscles, and food. He has absolutely referred to the ketchup-mustard-relish trio as Traffic Light Sauces.

He regularly shows himself to be kind and thoughtful as well, often offering to assist his smaller classmates in reaching tall shelves, carrying loads of supplies (including heavy furniture), and listening to their problems and concerns with an open mind. It is clear that it is difficult to get under Raphael’s skin, and he displays a shocking level of wisdom and emotional maturity despite his intellectual ineptitude. Chadmaster 9000.

Oh, also - he loves his little sister, and references her in conversations whenever possible. We love a family man.

And now before anyone says anything, I know, I know, it would be very easy to discount Raphael as a dunderheaded buffoon, but I did decide to leave him at a 4 on Dumb simply by virtue of the fact that he was accepted at Gareg Mach at all. Given that this is a prestigious military academy, it can be assumed that he would have had to pass some sort of entrance exam in order to be accepted, especially considering he doesn’t have the weight of a noble family behind him. Oh well, pobody’s nerfect. A fine specimen, regardless.

Total Himbo Score: 24

[isthatmanahimbo]

By request of @lost-disco-gay, today we bring you Balthus von Albrecht!

Balthus (Balthazar in the Japanese) is one of six playable DLC characters for Fire Emblem: Three Houses, released in 2020. The DLC allowed players access to new characters and classes, a new storyline and sidequests and a new area to explore, and the ability to feed cats and dogs around Garreg Mach monastery. In the story mode for his group, the Ashen Wolves, Balthus fills the rare role of a front-line healer in the new War Cleric class, allowing the player to combine white magic with the sacred power of punch, heretofore impossible as mages could not equip the gauntlet weapon. A previous member of the nobility in the Leicester Alliance, Balthus makes his home in the underground Abyss to avoid debt collectors.

One look at Balthus, and one struggles to remember that the basic premise of Three Houses is set in what is essentially a finishing school. Appropriate to his epithet "King of Grapplers", Balthus stands at a towering 198cm (approx 6'6), and this man is cut as fuck. Before the timeskip, he wears his academy uniform (despite being the oldest of the "student" population at 27 years old, and having already attended the Officer's Academy) with the coat entirely open - after the timeskip, he finally ditches the school uniform and picks up some different duds appropriate to his mountain-folk heritage, but once again does not bother to cover the vulnerable areas of his torso. Maybe it's traditional, maybe it's for intimidation, maybe he's a little vain, who really cares, let's not look a gift horse in the mouth to count its teeth when he we can instead count Balthus's abs. 8 pack? 8 pack.

And before you start to get the impression that I'm about to tell you that this man has levels of depth to him, that he's a thinker at heart, let me please disabuse you of that notion because Balthus is absolutely head-empty. This author could count on one hand the characters who show less intellectual prowess than Balthus – and what should he need to think for anyhow? As he himself tells us, Balthus has never met a problem he couldn't just punch out, including hordes of monsters, and if for some reason a real strategy is required, then he's got friends who can do that kind of thing way better than he does. The only sticking point in Balthus's life are the groups upon groups (upon groups) of debt collectors after his head. Balthus's solution to this, you might wonder? Borrowing more money of course. He's good for it this time, he promises.

Now it might feel a little bit like Balthus is a selfish or callous individual, given what we've learned about him so far. What sort of man keeps borrowing money and putting his friends at risk over his (admitted) poor decision making? Well, generally, a very good one. Much of the money he initially borrowed, and a large reason he has such trouble paying the debts back, is because he's attempting to create a better life for his mother, an Indigenous woman who married into nobility and was banished back to her clan when another "more suitable" heir was born. And before you think "okay, but taking care of just one family member does not a good person make", you're right! But a consistent thread in Balthus's supports is that he doesn't want to just take care of his own family – he wants to take care of everyone's family, including those who are of much greater means than he is. Balthus understands the value of equal exchange, and the greatest thing he has to offer is protection and care for his loved ones and the loved ones of his loved ones. You know we love a family man, and Leicester's King of Grapplers has got your back, pal.

As if all this wasn't enough, as if Balthus's kindness and martial prowess wasn't enough to gain the respect of his peers for peak Chad, we get to see a rare instance of Slut for these games, as Balthus is one of but a handful of characters in Three Houses who expresses an explicit sexual interest in a character by Stacy's Momming the Duke of the Leicester Alliance (said mother, for the record, is a duchess who married a foreign king, so it really speaks to Balthus's self-confidence that he thinks he has a shot). Imagine going up to your boss's boss at work, calling their mom a milf, and asking for her number. King shit.

King of Grappling, King of Himbos, King of Our Hearts: Balthus von Albrecht, everybody.

Total Himbo Score: 20

[isthatmanahimbo]

Another classic Americana himbo today: Fred Jones!

Fred is the de facto leader of the Mystery Inc. team from Scooby Doo, first appearing in Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! in 1969. Since then he has appeared in many iterations of the Scooby-Doo franchise, from movies to comics to crossover events.

Due to his foundation as a classic male archetype in animation, he provides a stark contrast to other male characters within the franchise, most notably Shaggy Rogers: he is broad-chested and muscular (apparently capable of bench-pressing upwards of 200lbs), he is depicted as being handsome and successful with women (despite being shy with the true object of his affections, fellow Mystery Inc. member Daphne Blake), and perhaps most iconically, he drives the Mystery Machine.

Arguably Fred’s most important contribution to our social psyches is what could be considered his catchphrase: “Let’s split up gang!” Because separating the part always works, Fred. In these instances, he very often takes Daphne and/or Velma with him to investigate, leaving Shaggy and Scooby to investigate another path. He will often leave the intellectual heavy-lifting to Daphne or Velma, and thank goodness, because this boy thinks that you can catch a ghost with a net.

(Granted, they’re very rarely real ghosts, but it is clear that Fred doesn’t know that).

Despite his failings, he is overall good at heart, and will be the among the first to offer the services of the Mystery Inc. gang to solve any trouble bothering the locals, whether it be by a good ol’ American football tackle or a mechanism of incredible Rube Goldbergian proportions.

Another mystery solved, gang! That sure is a himbo.

Total Himbo Score: 21

[isthatmanahimbo]

Continuing on with a previous entry’s rugged-mountainous aesthetic, we have fan-favorite Hashibira Inosuke!

Inosuke is a deuteragonist of the smash hit animanga series Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba, first published in Shounen Jump in 2019 and promptly rocketing to the top of sales lists worldwide in the years following. Inosuke was abandoned in the woods as a child and raised by a family of boar, and part of his character design is the boar head that he wears more often than not – this further reinforces the overall theme of family and foundation in Demon Slayer as Inosuke strives for more strength to carve out his place in an ever-expanding world.

Even discounting the boar's head that he wears, Inosuke's design is striking – where other characters choose to wear the standard uniform of the Demon Slayer Corps, with their own distinctive patterned haori, Inosuke chooses to go bare-chested, pelts slung all over the lower half of his body. Although the main cast are all shown to be physically at their peak due to their profession, Inosuke is notable in that he is the only member of the younger half of the cast whose physique is noted on by his peers – it is remarkable, Zenitsu wonders upon first meeting him, that someone so fucking shredded could have such soft facial features. Inosuke's physicality gets him into and out of scrapes, as his fighting style centers around instinct, sensations he can pick up on his bared skin, and good old-fashioned bullheadedness. No fancy breathing styles for this guy when shredding-gnashing-tearing will do the job just fine.

At his introduction, Inosuke starts out quite selfish in his stated desires and in his perception of himself, not putting any sort of sense of justice or hatred of demons as his motivations for joining the Demon Slayer Corps, merely the desire to get stronger. Upon meeting Tanjiro, Nezuko and Zenitsu, and others along their journey, Inosuke promptly face-heel turns into a more magnanimous worldview. Heart-Full can't be stated as his greatest character trait, but he makes long strides in that area very quickly upon being shown even the barest kindness, and it becomes clear that his selfishness has nothing to do with any underlying maliciousness, it is purely his inexperience with an outside world. He may have to outsource his moral compass from time to time, but the important thing is that he knows when to ask.

Another result of this isolation in his upbringing is his less-than-refined mental acuity. Some of it can be written off as naivete or inexperience, for one example believing that a never-before-seen steam train is a forest spirit and lord of the land (and wanting to jump out of the window to see if he can win in a footrace), other instances are less optimistic. What else should one do when one is dropped by a headbutt than run headfirst into tree trunks to try to harden one's skull? The logic is infallible.

Luckily, Inosuke has a gang of closeknit friends that he can outsource that mental heavy-lifting for him – and boy is Inosuke smitten with his chosen people. We get regular instances of Inosuke going googly and heaving dreamy sighs when someone close to him (usually Tanjiro) does something impressive or hands him a compliment. He isn't picky on gender, either – Inosuke makes mental grabby-hands for the slightest hint of affection whenever anyone speaks to him, and it is not difficult to impress him. This boy Chads and is Chadded in return, like any good polycule.

Comin' through, comin' through – we got a grade-A Himbo comin' through!

Total Himbo Score: 19

[isthatmanahimbo]

Today we bring to you a console classic from the 16-bit era: Sabin Rene Figaro!

Sabin is a main player character in Final Fantasy VI, first released in 1994 for the SNES (released as Final Fantasy III in North America). It has since been released to many major systems, ranging from the Playstation to the Wii and even to iOs, and most recently remastered in a 2.5D style in February of 2022. Hailed as one of the greatest games the series has to offer, Final Fantasy VI begins the series' lean into sci-fi as well as fantasy, and boasts the largest selection of playable characters of any mainstream Final Fantasy to date.

Sabin is one of a pair of twins, with his brother Edgar having taken over the role of king of their kingdom, Figaro – sick with grief at the death of their father, rather than chafe under the societal expectations of a king Sabin fled the country to pursue the life of a mountain hermit instead of co-ruling with his brother. He plays the role of Monk in the party, equipping light armor and fist weaponry, and his special combat command is called Blitz, which he learned under his master Duncan.

That last part is important, because it is with Blitz that this author must begin their assessment of Sabin as a himbo. If you have been following this blog for a little while, you know this author likes to begin with Buff when applicable, and it is here that this author would like to bring up the thing for which Sabin is most well-known: he fucking Suplexes a train. This is not hyperbole or metaphor, mind you – using the Blitz command, the player can input the proper combination of keystrokes to ensure that during a boss battle with the Phantom Train, Sabin can pick the fucking thing up and slam it onto the ground over his shoulder. Even if Sabin were not toked as fuck (he is), the ability to do so being not just canon but encouraged (as it is Sabin's party specifically which encounters the Phantom Train shortly after learning the Suplex command) renders all discussion of Sabin's Buffness moot. Sick wrestling moves aside, it is also notable that Sabin is required at one point in a timed story quest to hold up a house for several real-life minutes – but is it really a FF6 playthrough if you don't Suplex the Damn Train? This author doesn't believe so.

Blessedly, Final Fantasy VI knows what it's doing with its character archetypes, for as strong as every muscle on Sabin's body is, we find his decision-making to be a little lacking. Indeed, when the options Think and Act are placed on a table before him, every single time Sabin will smash down that Act button before the situation can be explained to him – we see examples of this as early on as immediately after his introduction, when he joins the Returners while vocally admitting he does not understand their mission statement, and less than an hour later when Ultros attacks the party and begins to swim away Sabin dives into literal white water to give pursuit. Sabin is happy to do the literal heavy-lifting so long as he has someone to consign the actual hard work of thinking to (usually his intellectual brother, in whom he places ultimate trust).

And although Sabin is particular in whom he places his trust, once he's in, he's all in baybee. His very first appearance we learn that his immediate peer, and son of his master, Vargas has killed his father, and Sabin takes a moment in the middle of battle to weep for his beloved master before wrecking ass. Indeed, as touched on before, Sabin's huge heart full of love and loyalty is the impetus for his mountain man excursion – so bereaved by his father's death, so disillusioned by the public's apparent lack of compassion, Sabin flees society. His big heart is apparent even in his more antagonistic moments – humorously, he has a bit of a rivalry with party member and feral child Gau, finding the child infuriating, but upon learning that the boy's father abandoned and mistreated him Sabin promptly chewed him a new asshole (and had to be physically restrained from laying him out). And upon joining the Returners, he is a valuable and trusted teammate for more than just his muscles – when returning to the fray after the end of the world, Celes is heartened by Sabin's attitude after they save a child together, finding the strength to carry on through his boisterous proclamation that the end of the world couldn't possibly keep him down.

Truly, that's a himbo we can count on to be by our side.

Total Himbo Score: 21

[isthatmanahimbo]

Another personal favorite of this author's, we are returning to a familiar setting with Kirishima Eijirou!

Kirishima is a secondary character in the the popular animanga series My Hero Academia, which first began printing in Shounen Jump in 2014, with the first episode of the anime launching shortly after in 2016. He is a student in the Hero Course at UA High School, training to be a career hero in the same vein as his idol Crimson Riot, the Chivalrous Hero – as such, when he chose his hero name during class one day, he opted to go for an homage by naming himself Red Riot, the Sturdy Hero.

Although he is still young, as most of the cast of MHA are teenagers in high school, Kirishima's design is distinctive not just in his spiky red hair or his shark-toothed grin, but also in his physical build. Granted, many of his peers are also explicitly shown to be muscular, and since they are children they are not as Grade A Beefy as some notable adult heroes, nevertheless Kirishima's hero costume highlights his musculature and his build in a way that few of his peers' costumes emulate. Indeed, when the audience is given a tour of the dorm rooms at UA, we see that Kirishima's is outfitted with a small home-gym, and when we are shown a flashback of Kirishima's decision to become a hero we see a montage of him working out and growing larger. Through the series, he grows visually, and we see him begin to fill out more. It isn't a stretch to assume that, when he is a fully-grown adult, Kirishima will be packing some serious cake.

Going hand in hand with his muscles and his drive to become a hero, we see that Kirishima values manliness above all things, which is no surprise when we learn that his idol chose the hero moniker of "Chivalrous". Kirishima considers manliness to have nuanced qualities, such as self-assurance and self-confidence, steadiness and reliability, as well as dedication and determination. He attempts to put these qualities into practice into his everyday life, not just in his hero studies, and when his character arc comes to life on the page, we see that this stems from self-perceived inadequacies during his childhood and adolescence. When he reaches UA and begins to develop into a hero, he shines as a beacon of manliness which his peers and even older characters respect and admire. Show that Unbreakable Spirit, kiddo!

Speaking of his studies, we are explicitly told that he ranks at the bottom of his class, insofar as exams go. Indeed, during one training arc, he is placed in a remedial course along with other of his classmates who failed their final exams. Bummer! Another noticeable instance of his intellectual prowess show he and several classmates walking down the same block on the same day at the same time to take the same train to the same location – it is only once everyone is seated that the group, including Kirishima, realize that they were all summoned to the same meeting on purpose. We've all been there, man.

But arguably what stands out about Kirishima most, more than his design or his ease at bridging gaps in conversation (the author's stated intent for his creation), is his open-hearted kindness. Perhaps more than any character barring the main character, it is Kirishima that the audience can easily imagine getting stuck in a tree to save a kitten, or running into traffic to stop a truck so that a child could get their ball. Kirishima is shown to be sensitive and open with his emotions, and openly states his desire for a more just and fair world, a safer and more understanding world – even for his enemies, the villains in the series.

These aren't tears in my eyes, just pure unadulterated manliness!

Total Himbo Score: 21

[isthatmanahimbo]

And now for a personal favorite of this author’s, another one whose existence spawned the idea for this blog: Hector, Marquess of House Ostia!

Hector is one of the main characters and lords of Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade, released in 2003. His first appearance was actually in the game released immediately prior, The Binding Blade, which is Blazing’s sequel.

As with other Fire Emblem installments, the basic game mechanic is to build teams of playable units on chess-like maps to defeat opponents with the power of RNJesus. Released during the franchise’s GameBoy Advance era, some of the mechanics are a little more based around luck and grinding.

Thankfully, even if the RNG has decided not to grace you with its favor on that day, Hector’s broad, broad shoulders are happy to carry the team for you, even on his story, which is the most difficult of three routes. As an unpromoted unit, he easily reaches the cap on his Strength and Defence stats, meaning he’ll slam into his opponent like a truck, and laugh off any paltry attempts at reciprocation.

And he doesn’t just carry the combat - his presence in the story is marked, given that he is the lord of one storyline, and assists in another. It is his stalwart loyalty and love for his friends and family that are the catalyst for many of the chapters in the story. Even in cut-scenes, he makes his presence known and lightens an otherwise bleak story, in one notable instance plucking a child from the desert sands and carting him around on his shoulders, laughing.

In other appearances, namely the Heroes mobile game, his role is expanded and he is given more lines, in many instances commenting on how surprising it is to see a book in his hands. Yes, of course he knows how to read! He’s a marquess, after all!

And most importantly, during his travels he makes friends and close connections, all of whom come to trust Hector with their lives - and regardless of the player’s choices in Hector’s supports, he will go on to have an adorable daughter, named Lillina. DILF alert.

Total Himbo Score: 21

[isthatmanahimbo]

Next up is another fine example of himbodom, and fan favorite: Rick O’Connell.

Rick O’Connell is one of the main characters of the 1999 movie The Mummy, portrayed by Brendan Fraser.  The movie is almost universally loved by audiences, though it is often panned by film critics who nevertheless admit an enjoyment for it for its action sequences, lush setting, and, most importantly, for its incredible cast.

Here we get to enjoy Brendan Fraser in his hey-day, doing what he does best. In the film, Rick was a colonel in the French Foreign Legion, which was when he stumbled upon the city of Hamunaptra on expedition. The expedition leaves him destitute, and just before the events of the film he is arrested during a bar fight. During his incarceration, he meets his future wife Evelyn, and convinces her to get him out of jail by kissing her through the bars of his cell. It is important to note that he is scruffy, dirty, and rude during this exchange, but Evelyn is nonetheless smitten by him, because he is being played by Brendan Fraser in his hey-day, doing what he does best.

During the escapades they have during the course of the film, we discover that Rick is known for using brute force to get through situations, rather than thinking them through strategically, which he later comes to rely on Evelyn for. This is not to say that he cannot think strategically, as he does display some small levels of cunning and self preservation.

His initial rudeness and brusqueness become bumbling attempts at showing the people closest to him that he cares - especially visible in the evolution of his relationship with Evey throughout the film, notably when he steals another archaeologist’s tools to give to her as a gift and threatens to shoot the man for saying so, when he backs down from a standoff over the site of the dig at a look from Evey, and penultimately when he decides to trust Evey to handle herself in the custody of the titular mummy so that the good guys can ultimately grab victory.

In the sequel, he returns much the same but without a lot of the rudeness, as this man is now a DILF, and every instance he and Evelyn make eye contact threaten to increase the film’s rating through sheer chemistry.

Ultimately, Rick is an action hero at the trope’s peak, with just enough grit around the edges to cause even the most stalwart to question their sexual orientation.

God bless you, Brendan Fraser. 🙏

Total Himbo Score: 21

[isthatmanahimbo]

For our inaugural post, I’ve decided to choose the man who perfectly encapsulates all that is himbo. It is the legend himself, Johnny Bravo.

Johnny Bravo was a cartoon which aired on Cartoon Network from 1997 to 2004, starring the titular Johnny. Johnny was a young man who was based on masculine codifiers of the previous generation, Elvis Presley and James Dean, and reframed a lot of masculine tropes (including toxic masculinity) for the new generation.

Johnny’s most notable characteristics were his southern twang (borrowed from Presley) and his penchant for calling any and all women “mama”, his slick black tee and cuffed jeans getup paired with sunglasses (courtesy of Dean), and his sky-high blonde pompadour. He displayed energy and virility with every movement, and every episode focused on Johnny attempting to get a date (and usually failing).

It is important to note that Johnny lived with his mother, Bunny, and that his best friend was a Girl Scout, Suzy. Bunny and Suzy often featured in episodes to get Johnny out of trouble.

Johnny is a clear front-runner in himbodom, and I feel no compunctions in giving him a 5 in every category. A truly impeccable specimen.

[isthatmanahimbo]

This week we visit a character so near and so dear to this author's heart: Sagara Sanosuke!

Sanosuke is an early-antagonist-turned-deuteragonist in the shounen animanga series Rurouni Kenshin, first published in Shounen Jump in 1994. Set in the Meiji Era in Japan, Sanosuke serves a vital function in the narrative of the story as he provides an oft-overlooked perspective in the infamous Bakumatsu Rebellion as a man of the people. Anti-Shogunate, betrayed by the Imperialist government, Sanosuke is a staunch political radical who spends many of his largest character developmental moments advocating for democracy and for the voice of people who get spoken over most, giving him the role of perpetual underdog.

Though at first glance Sanosuke might not seem special with regard to his bulk, despite his constantly open jacket – he fulfills a very specific role within the fight sequences as tank and bulldozer. Even from the very beginning in his role as a fighter-for-hire under the alias "Zanza", a reference to his frankly absurd zanbatou sword which only he has been seen using due to being ridiculously unwieldy, Sanosuke is constantly pitted against fighters much larger than he is and emerging victorious through sheer grit and physicality. If there is a wall that Sanosuke cannot punch through, give him a pointer and a deadline, and he'll bust through it Kool-Aid Man style before you can forget him. Oh yeah!

Because of the reputation he's garnered as Zanza, and because of his experiences with the Sekihoutai during the war, Sanosuke rarely takes the opportunity to mind his own business if he notices shenanigans afoot on the street. Over and over, we see him disrupt main-character monologues and full-on conversations to correct An Injustice. Indeed, in his very first appearance, he asks a drunk man to meet him outside for causing a fuss in a restaurant, and handily beats ass. He even gets a cool scene where he stops proprietress Tae from stumbling due to the ruckus, in true action hero fashion. Swoon.

Though it is inarguable that his head is full of Justice, there's little else to be said for his intellectual prowess. He does have one or two instances demonstrating his ability to problem solve and figure out patterns, often in times of crisis, his ability to think on his feet and his ability to think are firmly treated as separate entities. He can figure out how to channel shockwaves in the middle of a fistfight, but if you ask him to follow a road going only one direction, he will get lost for an extended period of time and decide that the best solution is to start a fight so that the police can take him to the station of the city he needs to be in. He can trace an opium ring to its source, but when directed by a fighter much more skilled than he to "idk maybe block sometimes?", Sanosuke instead chooses to plow ever-forward, refusing to be slowed down by such things as not-getting-a-concussion or losing-functionality-in-his-arm-forever. What an idiot.

His respect for his female counterparts is notable for the time, as well, in spite of the scoundrel archetype he's been assigned – he does acknowledge when he is out of his depth, and he will advocate for their expertise and protect them with his body in order for them to finish whatever job needs finishing. He knows his role, and he knows that it is to serve – and as a result, he earns, over and over, the respect and admiration of everyone around him. Yes, even people who outwardly display nothing but disdain for him, will nonetheless step aside and trust Sanosuke to handle what Sanosuke do best.

If this author were moronsexual, my shirt would already be off.

Total Himbo Score: 19

[angstandhappiness]

A baby

Continuing on with a previous entry’s rugged-mountainous aesthetic, we have fan-favorite Hashibira Inosuke!

Inosuke is a deuteragonist of the smash hit animanga series Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba, first published in Shounen Jump in 2019 and promptly rocketing to the top of sales lists worldwide in the years following. Inosuke was abandoned in the woods as a child and raised by a family of boar, and part of his character design is the boar head that he wears more often than not – this further reinforces the overall theme of family and foundation in Demon Slayer as Inosuke strives for more strength to carve out his place in an ever-expanding world.

Even discounting the boar’s head that he wears, Inosuke’s design is striking – where other characters choose to wear the standard uniform of the Demon Slayer Corps, with their own distinctive patterned haori, Inosuke chooses to go bare-chested, pelts slung all over the lower half of his body. Although the main cast are all shown to be physically at their peak due to their profession, Inosuke is notable in that he is the only member of the younger half of the cast whose physique is noted on by his peers – it is remarkable, Zenitsu wonders upon first meeting him, that someone so fucking shredded could have such soft facial features. Inosuke’s physicality gets him into and out of scrapes, as his fighting style centers around instinct, sensations he can pick up on his bared skin, and good old-fashioned bullheadedness. No fancy breathing styles for this guy when shredding-gnashing-tearing will do the job just fine.

At his introduction, Inosuke starts out quite selfish in his stated desires and in his perception of himself, not putting any sort of sense of justice or hatred of demons as his motivations for joining the Demon Slayer Corps, merely the desire to get stronger. Upon meeting Tanjiro, Nezuko and Zenitsu, and others along their journey, Inosuke promptly face-heel turns into a more magnanimous worldview. Heart-Full can’t be stated as his greatest character trait, but he makes long strides in that area very quickly upon being shown even the barest kindness, and it becomes clear that his selfishness has nothing to do with any underlying maliciousness, it is purely his inexperience with an outside world. He may have to outsource his moral compass from time to time, but the important thing is that he knows when to ask.

Another result of this isolation in his upbringing is his less-than-refined mental acuity. Some of it can be written off as naivete or inexperience, for one example believing that a never-before-seen steam train is a forest spirit and lord of the land (and wanting to jump out of the window to see if he can win in a footrace), other instances are less optimistic. What else should one do when one is dropped by a headbutt than run headfirst into tree trunks to try to harden one’s skull? The logic is infallible.

Luckily, Inosuke has a gang of closeknit friends that he can outsource that mental heavy-lifting for him – and boy is Inosuke smitten with his chosen people. We get regular instances of Inosuke going googly and heaving dreamy sighs when someone close to him (usually Tanjiro) does something impressive or hands him a compliment. He isn’t picky on gender, either – Inosuke makes mental grabby-hands for the slightest hint of affection whenever anyone speaks to him, and it is not difficult to impress him. This boy Chads and is Chadded in return, like any good polycule.

Comin’ through, comin’ through – we got a grade-A Himbo comin’ through!

Total Himbo Score: 19