#who uses CONDITIONER ! and subscribes to an EMAIL NEWSLETTER about RUNNING SNEAKERS! tries to fight him??? there’s no way | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

foursaints · 7 months ago

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my opinion on jarty is that they couldn’t even have the kind of passionate, bloody “you construct intricate rituals which allow you to touch the skin of other men”-style homoerotic grappling which everyone seems to want them to have. because if james ever got mad enough to threateningly bring his fist even somewhat close to barty’s face, barty would lick it, discombobulating him

my opinion on jarty is that if you asked each of them the most dangerous animal they think they could take in a fight, they would both get extremely pissed at the other’s answer for being “unrealistic and stupid”. despite ALSO having an extremely stupid answer that they got to using different logic. and it would be, like, a month long debate

#i think people want barty to be like. passionately violently fighting and unleashing james’s inner violence or whatever #but i truly believe he has trouble taking any physical altercation remotely seriously in general #james is taking it Dead Serious cause he had a good childhood so it’s like a western standoff to him #but barty grew up getting his ass beat & he lived. so u expect him to take it seriously. when someone HIS AGE. who uses HAIR PRODUCT.#who uses CONDITIONER ! and subscribes to an EMAIL NEWSLETTER about RUNNING SNEAKERS! tries to fight him??? there’s no way #if anything this is unleashing james's inner violence because barty keeps jokingly hitting Street Fighter poses mid-fight #and it drives james fucking bananas #it’s james just following him around like FIGHT ME!! while barty hits him with the ._. I Don’t Feel Like It #saints speaks 🐇

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