#who the hell do you think could have tipped ranpo off that the break out was happening or that yosano even existed

[enby-mori]

you know.. Dazai wasn't the first subordinate Mori pushed to join the agency..

[chris-phd]

BSD taxi drivers hcs

Ranpo Edogawa - aka the one that pretends that he is on duty, but he isn’t

- Lazy ass taxi driver.

- Will sleep in the back of his car and pretend he is not here.

“Sir, you’ve got your light on! So this mean you are available!” the customer knocked on the window where Ranpo was watching bored a video on the phone. Lazily, he shifted his gaze from the screen to the angry man that disturbed his procrastination. “Oi jackass, I’m busy? Can’t you see?” He replied, shaking his head. ” Incredible…people these days.” He sighs returning on watching his video.

- If he takes any order, he will complain all the way to destination. He will make your life sound like a fairytale compared with the hell he has to endure every day.

- Asks for more money than you gave him since he gave you a full analysis on today’s society.

- Buys lots of candies from the ‘tips’ and you might see candy wrapping on the floor of the car.

- Rude without trying, sarcastic af.

- If you hate to have a full history of all the wrong choices you’ve done in life then avoid this cute looking guy that seems so innocent but he is Satan.

- When he is reported, he will play coy around the director of that Taxi Company, Fukuzawa–sama, that will always close an eye for his favorite…*cough cough* taxi driver

- Places his orders on others just to get away.

Oda Sakunosuke – lion heart taxi driver

- The strict to business one.

- He is always on time to pick you up.

- Even if you are late he won’t complain, flashing you a small smile and waving off fast any excuses you give him for being that late.

- He is the type that would get out to open the door for the women. (srsly, men these days don’t do that anymore)

- Makes small talk with you, about anything. Weather? Okay. Economy? Best! Politics? Yes, sir! But his favorite subject is…well…family. He loves to talk about his family and shows his respect to people that do everything for it.

- In his car, you can smoke without problems. He will smoke with you too.

- Curses the idiots that cut his path without any warning. Expect lots of excuses after that.

- Will take the best shortcuts for you to get at your destination fast and safe.

- Asks you if you want to listen to a particular station on the radio.

- He denies any tip, but if you insist on giving it to him, he will take it and put it at the orphanage fund he donates to every month.

- Really polite, maybe too polite for his own good.

- He initial had the night shift but exchanged with Dazai since the boy said he gets really bored when the sun is up. But in reality he thinks it had something to do with that blond guy that works with him.

 Kuikida Doppo- the one taxi driver that will give you the change on point

-He has the night shift. Mostly from the fact that he is the most responsible and well…who wouldn’t like to sleep at night and not stay in cold waiting for customers?

-Very strict with money. He will give you the exact change back. And when I see exact, I mean, EXACT. To the last penny.

-You can feel safe with him. He drives calmly but… don’t expect him to hold back his anger when someone does a mistake or he finds a hole in the street that could damage his tires. At the very sight of a stop light, he will pull out his notebook and note down the mistake he saw. Stuff like… who was speeding, scribbling the identification number of the car and the flaws in the pavement.

-In comparison with Odasaku, he will give you short apology before he will explain you logically that he didn’t curse without a good reason.

-Doesn’t like to talk but makes small talks trying to be polite.

-He likes to listen to music in his car on break, but when he picks a client, he turns it off or switches on the news channel. No one must know the tastes he has~

-Warning! He is against smoking in his car.

-You will find him absorbed into some reading at the little light in his car or solving math problems.

-Dazai finds it adorable but he won’t say that, instead he will make fun. “I always hated math in school, awful classes…but best to take a nap in the middle of the day.”

-Odasaku wasn’t wrong when he assumed that Dazai did have a hidden agenda by exchanging shifts with him. Dazai and Kunikida have their meeting place where they go, drink coffee and eat shawarma.

-Dazai usually slacks off by sleeping in the backseat of Kunikida’s car. In exchange, the other will take care to avoid every crack, not to disturb his sweet sleep.

-But that backseat isn’t used just for sleep. The teasing brunette loves to fool around with Kunikida on it.

-He is currently sharing an apartment with Dazai.

Dazai Osamu – suicidal driver

-Fast, but not that furious driver.

-Maybe you will appreciate him better after a ride with Poe, but if you are his client you will get really religious imagining that today you might die by the hand of his cheerful taxi driver.

-If he avoids an incident by an inch close, he will start to tell how you both might have died, giving you a full image of all the body trauma you could have gotten.

-Sighs a lot looking at the nightlights, you would think he is in love and that he looks cute like that but…”I was just thinking at that big lit up panel, there. You see it? I can see it’s half way down so… if there might be a great storm and the wind will hit in the right place, with some luck it could kill me! If I would be standing there right on time!” he flashes you a big smile, and then returns on driving.

-He is polite and chuckles a lot about any subjects.

-His radio is usually on music, but he likes to hear the 5 o’clock news as well.

-Avoids his work as much as he can, pushing his clients to others - Chuuya especially since he is annoying.

-In his breaks he runs to meet Kunikida and catch up, complaining about the clients he had, how boring their lives are.

-Likes to tease Kunikida when he drives, rubbing his hand up and down his thigh to see how much the blond can hold his composure.

-It is worth it since they are living together…‘to make the work easier’, not for something else…gosshhh…for what other reason did you all think about it was? *grins*

 Edgar Poe – Anxious raccoon owner

- Anxiety 24/7, he is too afraid to communicate with his clients.

- Nods a lot and mumbles to himself, it scares people away.

- Drives in an erratic way, you have to hold on to the chair.

- Gets scared easily if you talk louder so he makes abrupt breaks, almost crashing in the front car or into trees… you will make sure not to take his cab again.

-Weird noises are coming from his under seats. He will wave them off, agitated. “Oh! Don’t mind it, don’t mind it! It’s just…I need…to solve some problems at the wheels… it’s okay, it’s okay.”

-Eventually, if you’ve got any grocery or fresh patisserie, you will find out what that sound is.

“Wait! Is that a raccoon?! “

“Np, no!!! I mean…yeah…But he means no harm! Wait! Ma’am! Your bag...!” He looks after the client that ran away.  ”Damn it, Karl! I already fed you twice this morning!” He sighs, hugging the raccoon that jumped in his arms to search for the source of that smell.

-Most of his clients are the ones Ranpo passed on him, having no intention to pick them up. This might be the reason he is allowed to keep his pet with him. Being close to Ranpo earned him some points at the big boss.

 Fyodor Dostoevsky- drunken driver you don’t want to mess up with~

-Okay, if in Chuuya’s car you can feel a soft scent of wine…here it’s just hitting you how it reeks of alcohol.

-You can see gambling coins on the floor of his car, or bet tickets folded in his little ashcan.

- Is he really sober? He laughs too loud and roasts everyone and everything that moves.

- Bites his fingertips while waiting the greenlight with a grin.

-Can’t wait to get rid of you. He has that face that says ‘Imma kick you out of my car and still smile ‘.

-Expect some shade and he’ll maybe deceive you when it comes to the price, asking for more. (Well, gambling is pretty pricey these days, huh?)

-Roasts you for being late and exaggerates that he waited more than 5 minutes after you.

-Leaves early from work and goes to drink. He pulls Edgar with him as well, needing some good company around him. He doesn’t mind the raccoon, already used to it to crawling and hugging his Russian hat like it’s his friend or something.

Yosano Akiko- Girl power

-Fast and furious, will take you to your destination.

-Fashion police, silently judging your clothes, maybe making small comments if she likes something. “Oh, nice scarf, from where did you get it? “ or “I like this one, but green would’ve been better for you, darling. “

- Just like Chuuya, she will be dressed on fleek, like she is going to a party, not driving all day.

-Scoffs at the bad skills men are having in traffic, shaming them.

-Amazingly strong! You can catch her repairing something at the car or changing a wheel with no problem.

-She is really strict with the men she picks up. If you are a jerk, you should get ready for a full journey of ‘mommy issues’ talk.

-Big fan of gloves and boots. Sooooo…expect her to stop at a store just to buy a pair. ‘Wait here for a moment, I need to check something.” After, she comes back with 3 bags, all smiling. It’s okay since she is not taxing extra and the road with her is full of good conversations.

-Drinks with Chuuya in her spare time, always beating him on who holds their liquor better.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke– the rock taxi driver

- Has ‘No Smoking’ on his windows but if there is a client that insists on it, he is too shy to deny them, coughing all the way to their destination.

-You will find him listening to rock bands in his car.

-If you take him by surprise, he will lower the radio station and drive in an annoying buzz of it, too ashamed of what he was head-banging to, and too shy to change the station, afraid that he will offend you by hiding what he was listening to.

-Coughs a lot, making the customers raise a brow, wondering if he is sick or not.

-Pops coughing pills while sitting at the stop.

- Always wears a sad expression as he gazes outside.

-Hates to make small talk. So he just turns the radio a little louder to show that he is not into that.

-He wants to get home fast, but when Chuuya invites him out he can’t deny since he is older in this domain than him and fears that he might get kicked out if he angers him. He’s already predicting that the redhead will pass out, so he must be there to carry him home.

  John Steinbeck – Plant lover taxi driver~

-Has plants on his dashboard, most of them are climbing all over the inside of the car.

-You would say that it’s a jungle inside, too crowded, but the scent around the car is giving you a relaxing mood as you sink in the green pillowed chair.

-He usually talks about vegetables and how people waste so much, and have no respect for the food and he gets in a very gloomy mood when he talks about money controlling this world.

-You can see him caressing the leaves of his plants with a proud face. When he catches you ogling him, he will gave you an apologetic smile, telling you that he saved the little plant in Winter at a store that threw it as garbage after they saw those yellow leaves. “Oh? Does it look weird? Hehehe… I’m sorry, I just love her so much, she used to be so small and with no chance on growing, but now she loves the car so much, I could not take her from her moving home.”

-Polite and his character is like a thousand suns.  He just makes you feel better about yourself just sitting around him.

-After work he likes to take Lovecraft home, his partner is too tired to even stay awake to drive home. It’s his guilty pleasure to see him how peaceful he is sleeping in his environment.

-He leaves Lovecraft to crash at his home. He knows that initially Lovecraft had the nightshift, but that wouldn’t give them too much time to spend together, so he takes the task of preparing breakfast for both of them ~

 Howard Lovecraft – Too tired for this job~

-He sleeps in any positions anytime, anywhere.

-Really silent while driving. So silent you will think he is rude.

-His car is awfully dark…It really is weird how the inside of a car is so gloomy in broad daylight.

-Heavy smoker and drinks too much caffeine to stay awake, so the air is pretty stifling.

-Murmurs his answers really low, it will annoy you that you have to ask countless of times ‘What? What was that? Sorry couldn’t get the last part...’

-Drives slowly and tempered. Sometimes you just want to push that accelerator pedal down.

-Mostly hums and nods at your questions. Doesn’t bother himself to engage in a conversation, avoiding it by sighing and mumbling a ‘How I wish I could sleep right now.’

-Has horror magazines under his seat. He enjoys reading them until he has to pick someone up.

-He exchanged his nightshift to spend more time with John, his friend that is a sun lover for his plants.

 Chuuya Nakahara – Fancy hat driver

-The inside of the car is so classy…you’ll think you stepped into a royal house, not a car.

-Comfortable chairs that would make you stay there forever - you won’t want to leave.

-It has a smell of wine in the air, but as long as the driver seems sober and trust me, he is more than sober. *?

-You can call him Ranpo’s twin when it comes to complaining, but at least he drives you to your destination.

-Wears fancy hats, mostly to look taller, but he will just say he likes the fashion, rambling about some designers.

-He does a good job and at the end of the day, when he is about to go home and enjoy his glass of wine, he gets another client. ( It’s the one Dazai usually pass on him just because…). He does his job with clenched teeth.

-Likes to treat Akutagawa after a hard day , they go to a bar where the bartender praises them for making money in such an economy.

-Drinks too much and ends up talking too loud and too much about his life, afterwards passing out, so Akutagawa has to take him home.

 Nathaniel Hawthorne- Priest on 4 wheels

-Okay , his front window has lots of religious icons and crosses .

-Smells like incense and white lilies inside.

-His radio station is on the Religious channel. He usually hums along when it’s a prayer on it.

-It makes you feel awkward when you want to ask something, since the volume is pretty loud.

-Crosses himself every time you pass a church.

-Silent, but when he talks it’s melting your heart. It just makes you want to open up, so don’t be surprised if at the end of the road you might cry after confessing some of your sins.

-He will tell you to go to the church and pray more at the end of the road and maybe wish you a ‘Godspeed’.

 Mark Twain – Indie type

-Thrash radio music, he likes the lively music.

-If you hear him humming Justin Bieber and giggle, he would get into a defensive mode. “That is not Justin Bieber…or is it? I don’t know…How can I know? It’s just a song that was stuck in my mind…gosh. “

-Likes to hear the morning jokes on the radio.

-Smells like oranges and Christmas in his car…reason? He likes to drink a sweet coffee with cinnamon. Winter flavor.

-Has two dolls on the dashboard. He says they keep him company, being a gift from someone close to him.

-In his breaks, he calls Nathaniel and ignores if he just disturbed him from praying, just to chat with him.  In the end, Padre will close his phone in the middle of the conversation.

 Bonus : 

Fukuzawa is the boss of the company, but Fitzgerald is the one that keeps the money.