#who the fuck is going to remember ethics when there's like three tests/exams in the span of four days

[starpros-sunshine]

I've done two and a half hours of math non-stop my brain is so dead I went down to get a drink and then proceeded to stand in the middle of the kitchen for a whole minute before remembering I actually already had something upstairs.

I still have to come up with a short sketch for ethics about a situation in which Platons cave parable could be seen in the modern world. Someone please shove me down a flight of stairs so I best case scenario get a concussion and don't have to show up tomorrow.

[jalapeno-princess]

Angel of Mine

College Boyfriend Mark X Reader

Genre: FLUFFIEST OF FLUFF, Doting boyfriend Mark that we all deserve

Word Count: 4.5K

Summary: You and your boyfriend Mark are cuddled up in your bed watching a movie when you are reminded that you have an essay due in a couple of hours that you haven’t even started on. Before you can completely break down, your boyfriend comes to your rescue and offers to write your paper for you. It’s in the moments of watching him so focused, typing away at your laptop do you realize how lucky you are to have Mark as a boyfriend.

A/N: Hey guys! So it’s the beginning of midterms here in Hawaii and i’ve already cried seven times I am not kidding you I have two semesters left of college and this is the hardest it’s ever been. I wrote this imagine for shits and giggles; i’ve never had a boyfriend before (HAHAHAHA CRIES IN FILIPINO AND KOREAN) so I wouldn’t know if there are guys out there who are actually like this (If you are, God bless you) (and if your boyfriend is like this, MARRY HIM) I actually watched a tiktok post on instagram right after I finished this where this girl said she was doing her boyfriend’s homework because he was stressed or whatever and if that isn’t couple goals than I don’t know what is (btw I do not condone having someone else do your homework) (especially if you force them to do it because you don’t want to it’s your responsibility and your education, but if they offer...it’s a different story) (LOL) anyways, enough of me blabbering, please enjoy reading while I cry in a corner.

“Remind me how I got myself in this situation again?” Your boyfriend gave you a knowing look and you couldn’t stop yourself from letting out a faint giggle at the sight of his furrowed brows.

“Because you love me.” He playfully rolled his eyes and continued typing away at your computer.

“Yeah, sometimes a little too much. But if I remember correctly, you promised to suck me off once I’m finished writing this damn thing, so don’t think I’m going to forget our agreement babe.”

To say you were a procrastinator would be the understatement of the year. Just a few hours ago, you and Mark were comfortably cuddled up together in bed while you both watched the live action version of Mulan. When your boyfriend excused himself to go use the bathroom, you decided to scroll through your Instagram while waiting.

After looking at a couple of posts from some of your friends and family, you were curious as to what everyone was doing and you found yourself going through some of their stories. Finals were less than two weeks away, so you were used to seeing your friends post pictures of them working their many assignments or studying for exams.

What you weren’t expecting to see was one of your classmate’s working on an essay for your English class that was apparently due in less than four hours. Only then did it hit you; you had yet to write the paper and it was worth 20% of your grade. For weeks, you told yourself you were going to start on it and when it was first assigned over two months ago, you thought you had all the time in the world.

Two months went by quicker than you could even fathom and you were frustrated with yourself for not writing it down on your calendar or completing it earlier. You practically ran over to your laptop and began looking up the rubric to see how your professor wanted you to write your essay and you could feel your heart sink to your stomach as soon as you read the requirements.

Mark was confused when he saw you no longer lying in the bed; the two of you decided to have a lazy day indoors and you’ve only left the bed twice to use the bathroom and to get something to snack on. This past week has been extremely rough on your mind and your body; so when you told Mark you had no intention on doing anything other than laying in bed and watching movies, he knew to trust your words.

“Baby, what are you doing?”

Your flustered expression only made him even more curious as to what could have happened in the few minutes he was in the bathroom for. You bit your bottom lip in frustration; knowing how Mark could be whenever it came to your education, you were afraid he was going to be upset once he found out you had only a few hours to write your essay. Since you were too much in shock to respond to him, he took matters in to his own hands and looked at your computer screen.

“Wait—I remember you mentioning this essay a couple of weeks ago—eight pages?! Six educational sources—and it’s due by 11:59 P.M. tonight—y/n what the hell?!”

This wasn’t the first time you waited till right before your assignment was due to start working on it. Matter a fact, most of your important assignments; research papers, group projects, essays and online tests were completed on the day they were due. Sometimes it was on purpose; you felt as if some of your best work were the ones you’d work on right before you were supposed to turn it in. You knew it had a lot to do with the fact that you felt pressured to do better knowing you had a time limit; but most of the time you were just lazy and didn’t want to do any work at all.

You and Mark knew about each and every single thing there is to know about one another. He knew of each and every beauty mark on your body and where it was located, he memorized all your aunt’s, uncle’s and cousin’s names, he knew the exact shade of blue that you claimed was your favorite color and he knew how you liked your tea in the morning.

The only thing he had no control over, was the way you handled your education. Mark thought the entire world of you; he believed you were the most hardworking, courageous, determined, generous and golden-hearted person he had the amazing pleasure of knowing. And he wasn’t being biased because you were his girlfriend, but you were the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen before. In his eyes, you were flawless; you could do no wrong—well; the only problem Mark really had whenever it came to you was the fact that you didn’t know how to prioritize your responsibilities.

After what happened to you right around the time you were introduced to one another, Mark would’ve thought that your mindset and outlook on how you managed everything going on in your life would change. He knew you were capable of great things; when you put your mind to it, you could finish any task that you were given and you were great with multitasking. Mark saw how much time, persistence and effort you would put in to your job or whenever you’d lend a hand to anyone who needed assistance; he admired your work ethic and how passionate you could get when it came to the people and things that you loved.

It was just harder for you to put time in to your essays, journals, blogs or reading the books your professors would assign. School was never something you ever really cared for; it wasn’t like you were really learning anything anyway. For years, you tried your best in being good at all subjects. You’d stay up studying for hours on end only to not retain any information that you learned and it wasn’t entirely your fault. The educational system was just fucked. In this generation, it isn’t even about learning anything; the main focus is turning in assignments on time.

The professors could give less of a shit whether or not you understand any of the material being taught. During your relationship, Mark tried his best to motivate you and even bribed you with food and kisses. He even offered to make flashcards for you if that meant you’d have an easier time studying, but nothing ever worked.

As much as he wanted you to be successful with your education, especially because he genuinely loved attending school, he knew not to force anything on you and making matters worse. This time was different though; this class was one you were already having a hard time with and this essay in particular would determine whether or not you pass or fail by the end of the semester. Your boyfriend tried his best to hide his disappointment, but it was only natural for him to be upset. Attending college was not cheap at all.

He was completely aware of the thousands of dollars you had to fund on your own because your parents weren’t able to help you financially as much as they wish they could. Since he was extremely supportive of you and each and every single one of your endeavors, he even helped pay for quite a bit of your tuition which you haven’t completely forgave him for, but you both showed him and told him on a daily basis how grateful you were that he did such a thing; and that he never fails to take care of you in ways you didn’t think you deserved.

A part of him wanted to continue his poor attempt at scolding you, but as soon as he saw tears building up at the brim of your eyelids, all his anger and frustration dissipated. If there was anything Mark hated, it was seeing you cry. The reason behind your tears didn’t matter; it just broke his heart knowing you were sad and right now, he pushed the idea of your procrastination to the back of his mind. He motioned for you to stand up and kissed both your cheeks to get rid of any trace of tears. Then, he pulled you in to his embrace and placed his chin on the top of your head before he comfortingly ran his hands up and down your back.

“I’m so sorry Mark—I’m sure you’re upset with me and you have every right to be—I’m so stupid—“ if this were under different circumstances, the cheeky pinch on your butt would’ve earned your boyfriend a punch to the shoulder, but you knew this was his way to stop you from degrading yourself. Before you could ever say anything negative about yourself, Mark would try and divert your attention away from bad mouthing yourself.

Although you and Mark were together for three years now and you knew he was the man you planned on spending the rest of your life with, there was an annoying voice in your head that would remind you almost every single day that you didn’t deserve him. He’s sacrificed so much for you and you knew it was because he loved you; but you never understood why. You weren’t anything special; sure, you loved him with every fiber of your being and you knew he was well aware of that. Yet, you knew he deserved so much more but there was no way you’d ever be able to let him go. Not when he was the one who saved your life all those years ago. The only person who meant anything to you.

As much as you loved your family and your friends, nobody could ever compare or mean as much to you. Nobody could ever be as important as Mark was. He was the only person you were sure you would die from heartbreak if you were to lose him. It was selfish of you to continue dragging him down with you and your toxic ways, but you needed Mark; you’d be nothing without him. He was your own personal guardian angel sent to change your life entirely for the better. He was the only good thing going for you and with the way he treated you as if you were the most fragile and rarest jewel in the world, you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

“You’re not stupid baby—a little irresponsible and careless, but not at all stupid. Hmph, I’ll tell you what, seeing as how I’m better when it comes to writing essays, let me handle it this time.”

“No, there’s no way in hell I’m going to let you do this assignment for me Mark, I’d rather take the F—“ the soft kiss he placed on the corner of your lips made it aware that Mark meant business. Whenever he’d say something, he meant it. However, you refused to allow him to work on something you kept pushing back for months. Your essay was your full responsibility and it wouldn’t be fair for your boyfriend to have to write something he didn’t benefit from in such a small amount of time. God, he really did love you.

“The more time you spend trying to talk me out of helping you when I already made my mind up, the less time I’ll have to work on this paper. I don’t want you stressing over this; you’re already so worn-out as it is. This’ll be a piece of cake babe—you just sit on the bed and look pretty while I get started.”

Mark had to be a figment of your imagination. There was no way someone as thoughtful, kind-hearted, selfless and caring as him could exist. Most people would groan at the idea of having to do more work and if it were anyone else, you were sure you would’ve gotten a completely different reaction. You were quick to pull him in to a tight hug and left multiple chaste kisses all across of his face.

“I love you—more than I can ever fathom in to words Mark Tuan. You don’t understand how much this means to me—I’ll do anything you ask of me. Ugh, I will never get over how amazing you are and I could never thank you enough for all that you do for me.” He cupped your cheek and placed a wet kiss on your jaw.

“Anything huh? Maybe you could do some loads of my laundry, but that’s pretty much it—oh. I um—maybe you could—ah never mind.” You looked at him in curiosity and giggled when you saw the apples of his cheeks grow pink with embarrassment. Whatever he was probably referring to had to be something he was shy about. Your boyfriend was the definition of an introvert and he had a hard time asking people questions or even favors; this sometimes also included you. If you wanted to know what was on his mind, you’d have to pry it out of him.

“What is it babe?” He gave you the most adorable shrug and nibbled on his bottom lip as he began to look everywhere around the room but at you.

“Don’t feel as if you have to do this for me, I really don’t expect anything from you, but I wouldn’t mind a blow job if you’re up for it later.” One thing you loved the most about Mark, was how gentle and awkward he would get whenever it came to initiating sex or insinuating that he wanted a sexual favor from you. It was cute, yet it also turned you on for some reason. Maybe it was because he’d act totally innocent and submissive since he never wanted you to feel uncomfortable and he preferred to take things at your pace; but once the two of you actually made love, his attitude would take a 360 degree turn.

Sex with Mark was your favorite past time; he could get very naughty and rough in bed, but he could also take things slow and sensually. It really depended on the mood, but your boyfriend was an extremely generous and passionate lover. He knew what you liked, what positions you enjoyed the most, how to lick, bite and suck on all your sensitive body parts in order to elicit any kind of needy reaction out of you. It really boggled your mind that someone like Mark—someone so perfect without a flaw at all actually existed and what was harder to believe was that you were the lucky girl who was extremely blessed to call him yours.

That was something you would never take for granted; nor did you think you would ever get used to having him in your life. You seductively made your way on to his lap and began leaving sloppy kisses against his nape. This beautiful man sitting in front of you was willing to do your homework in order to prevent you from having a mental breakdown. He was willing to sacrifice his time to work on an assignment that wasn’t his responsibility to take care of just so that you didn’t have to suffer. Honestly, what world war did you fight and win in your past life to be the one that receives Mark’s love every single day? Whatever it is that you did to be able to call Mark your boyfriend, you would do it again and again if it meant having him in each and every single lifetime.

“Fuck—babe—as good as that feels, I only have three hours—y/n—you know, I’m actually thinking about taking you on your offer—just settle for the F and I’ll get settled in between your pretty thighs—“ you couldn’t help but stifle back a giggle once you heard the soft whine fall from his lips after you got up from off his lap, but he was right. He was already doing your homework for you, the least you could do was sit on the side and prevent yourself from bothering him.

“Oh yeah—you’re definitely taking me down your throat as soon as I turn in this paper. Now do as I said and sit down on the bed. Your presence alone is such a distraction and fuck—I’ve been hard since this morning when you walked out in my shirt. Damnit y/n—I really want to have my way with you right now. Please use this experience for future reference. I can’t believe I’m being cockblocked by a research paper of all things.”

You watched as Mark quickly skimmed through the rubric; you knew your boyfriend wanted to make sure he understood the material before typing out a bunch of nonsense. The last thing he needed was to spend all this time and effort looking for resources, citing them and looking for both spelling and grammatical errors only to earn you a bad grade. If Mark wasn’t there and you just so happened to find out about the essay, you wouldn’t have even attempted to write anything.

Your mindset in college was that if it seemed impossible, you would just give up on it entirely. Mark’s mindset however, was more realistic and you wished you had the motivation and enthusiasm that seemed to live in his bloodstream. Watching him so focused as he typed away like nothing was such an inspiring sight. English was one of your boyfriend’s favorite subjects; he loved reading all kinds of books—from murder mystery to comics and romance novels, Mark always preferred reading over watching a movie or television shows.

But, if there was anything he enjoyed more than reading, it was writing. Normally, the day his professor would assign him an essay, proposal, research paper or journal entry was the same day he would complete it and turn it it. There had to be something wrong with him. What person in their right mind genuinely enjoyed writing thousands of words, making sure there weren’t any errors and that the paper in its entirety actually made sense? You knew not to bother him, but you couldn’t help staring at him in all his handsome glory. His brows were furrowed and he began biting his lip in concentration; you didn’t think it was possible for someone to look like a model straight from an ad or a magazine while typing out an English paper.

“Can I get you something to eat or drink babe?” He quickly shook his head in disagreement without even looking up—he was too focused in whatever it was he could be typing.

“I think I need a couple of kisses though, you know—to help me reenergize.” You playfully rolled your eyes at his cheeky request before getting up and placing a few soft kisses against his mouth.

“So how’s it coming out?” He scrunched his nose before giving you a slight shrug.

“If I’m being honest, this probably isn’t my best work, but I’m sure it’s fine. I’m almost done by the way—so I’ll have you look it over to make sure it’s to your liking and then you can turn it in. Maybe you should start preparing your gratuity and tie your hair up. Might as well take your pants off while you’re at it—ow! I’d be careful if I were you baby. I might just replace your name with mine and confuse the shit out of your professor—yeah, that’s what I thought. Now, be a good girl and return back to bed.”

As much as you wanted to continue messing around with him; only because you were enjoying how demanding he would get when he was under stress, you knew better than to distract him. You decided to find something else to occupy yourself with as Mark returned to typing profusely at your laptop. It was extremely fascinating how he didn’t even take a second to think about what to write. The words seemed to just flow out of his brain like it was the easiest thing in the world and you were growing envious of his ability to come out with such quality and detailed work in such a small amount of time.

Around twenty minutes later, Mark let out a sigh of relief and brought his hands behind his back—a sign that he was finally finished. He motioned for you to walk over to your desk and had you sit on his lap. Out of habit, he snaked his arms around your waist and placed his chin on your shoulder; wanting to be as close to you as possible.

“Ten pages, twelve sources and it’s only 9:15. Tell me what you think baby.”

Right as you finished reading just the first paragraph alone, you were at a loss for words. Even if you were to start writing this paper when you first received the assignment from your professor, you were sure nothing you could write would be at least half as amazing as this paper was. It wasn’t repetitive—nor did he use nonsense words or anything you were sure you probably would have added in. He put all his sources in alphabetical order and inserted page numbers at the bottom of each page.

You could see why Mark’s previous English professor had asked him on multiple occasions to be her TA. The word brilliant wasn’t even enough to describe the kind of student Mark was. For someone who never really cared about reading English papers; whether it was an assignment for class, or when you had to give constructive criticism on one of your fellow classmate’s work, you would always skim through their essays—but you found yourself reading each and every single word Mark had typed out. His essay had you hooked; it was one of those writings that you were sure anyone would actually enjoy having to read. How was he able to finish all of that so quickly? By the end of it, you were in tears and you didn’t even realize you were crying until you felt Mark giggle in to your neck.

“Why are you crying Bub? I don’t think what I’ve written is at all that depressing. I literally wrote about biodegradation and how to save the earth—“

You didn’t give him any chance to continue his explanation as you roughly smashed your lips against his. Mark did so many things for you on a daily basis. He didn’t have to say he loved you for you to know that he did—his actions spoke for him. Knowing how most guys could be, you were sure no boyfriend would waste his time completing an assignment, especially one so time consuming needed all your knowledge and effort—for his girlfriend.

College was rough on everyone; so to take on something you thought was extremely difficult in order to prevent you from stressing out more than you already were—it made tears fall from the brim of your eyelids. You continued your ministrations, licking his lips and bringing both the bottom and the top in between your teeth before sucking on his tongue. Feeling him hum in to your mouth sent warmth to your core. In your relationship, you were the more extroverted and talkative one. You could go on and on about any subject you were passionate about.

However, just like Mark; you were more about actions than words—mainly because you felt like there weren’t enough words in the English dictionary to actually form sentences that would describe just how much you loved Mark wholeheartedly and exactly what he meant to you. When you felt his excitement press up against your ass, you knew what was right about to happen; but you wanted him to know verbally how grateful you were for him before showing him physically.

“Fuck—how did you—what kind of drug are you on Mark? That was one of the best essays I’ve ever read. There’s no way my professor is going to believe I wrote that. This is honors worthy—you’re—I can’t even find a word good enough to describe you. Otherworldly? Wonderful? Perfect? I love you so much Mark. Fuck, do I love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don’t know what I did to have you in my life, but I would do it again and again to have you forever. I know you hate when I say this, but it’s the truth baby—I really don’t deserve you. Thank you, not just for typing this essay—fuck I still can’t even process this entire situation you need to sign up for scholarships or some shit you are so fucking intelligent and such a hardworking student. But—thank you for loving me. You really are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am forever grateful for whoever it was that decided to bless me with you as my soulmate. I love you Mark Tuan.” His wide grin and the way he looked at you so adoringly made your heart melt.

“I’d do anything for you—you know that baby. It’s just—seeing you so distressed—so frustrated and unhappy with school, watching you overwork yourself to the bone—it fucking sucks. Especially when I see you beating yourself up over grades you have no control over. I know you try your best in every single thing that you do and I know that it’s easy to forget some important things and fall behind, but I will always be there to catch you—and to assure you that everything is going to be okay. You’re my person y/n—it’s my life duty to take care of you. However—don’t get used to this baby, as much as I love you—trust me—I love you with every breath I take and with every beat of my heart—but shit, that was rough. Oh—and I never want to hear you say you don’t deserve me ever again. You take care of me just as much as I take care of you. It’s a team effort babe. Now, with that being said, you caused a big problem in my pants over half an hour ago and I think it’s time that you solved it.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #243

honestly too lazy to think up random song lyrics here, so just have the survey.

What is the one thing you remember most about January of last year? Nothing. You look at the clock and it’s 11:11, do you wish? I never do, no. How do you think you will look 3 years from now? I pray the fuck to god I'm finally at a weight I want. And of course more tattoos and piercings. And colored hair. What would be number one on your bucket list? Meet, thank, and hug Mark profusely while ugly crying. How old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? I don't know. You get a text message. who do you hope it is? Sara. Are there any songs that you hear that just make you wanna dance? Not really, no. Do you get any of your songs from Limewire? lol how old is this... but no. I did when it was "the thing," though. You and your best friend get in a fight. Why do you think that is? I don't know. Probably said something that came across wrong over a text. What is your biggest annoyance at the time? Financial shit. You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Apologize to him if he's even okay with me speaking a word to him and then letting him on his way because I don't want to make him think I'm still stuck on him. I'd wanna know how things are in his life, but I don't want him to get the wrong impression. It'd be better for both of us. Have/are you depressed? I mean I'm diagnosed with depression, but it's well-managed. At the moment I'm not *depressed*, no. Did you grow up in the United States? Yeah. Never left it, even. Do you call anybody "baby"? Besides my cat and snake, no. Who is the one person you can completely be yourself around? Sara. Are your pop-ups blocked on your computer? Yeah. Do you wear earrings on a normal basis? No. How old were you when you realized that life goes on? I don't know... This is such a vague question. But I guess probably when a childhood cat disappeared or died sometime in elementary school. Are your parent’s night owls or morning birds? Well, I don't live with Dad, but Mom is a night owl more than a morning bird for sure. She can be so grouchy in the morning. Do you like to sing? Eh. Who is your favorite author? *shrugs* I don't read enough. How many pillows are on your bed? Two. What’s your favorite thing about the holidays? Seeing my niece and nephew so excited. What is your favorite type of cake? Red velvet, baby. How many rings do you wear on a day-to-day basis? One. Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? Multiple times. Probably WOULDN'T have been multiple if the psych hospitals here were worth a damn. Went to the same one like five-six times and one other and both sucked. It was a partial hospitalization program, WHICH ISN'T AS "SERIOUS" AS AN ACTUAL FUCKING PSYCH HOSPITALIZATION, that saved my ass. What’s your favorite brand of flavored water? None. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you take birth control pills? Not anymore, no. I was only on them for serious period pain, but as of recently my psychiatrist wanted to test out how I do mood-wise without them, especially as it was a regular occurrence for me to be borderline or actually suicidal the day before my cycle started, and the whole week leading up to it was sketchy. So far, I've been fine - I think even better. I was on it for years, and I mean your body changes, so. Do you like soy sauce? Noooooo no no no. Do you have a good doctor? My psychiatrist is literally the reason I'm alive. That's no exaggeration. I would've killed myself by now if it wasn't for him setting my medicine right. I know I would've. My therapist is great, and my primary physician is fine. What’s your favorite store to browse around? Morph Market, ahaha. I love looking at all the reptile morphs, especially the ball pythons. Do you ever meditate on Scripture? No. Do you like poetry? Yes. Do you have expensive tastes? Nah. What is your favorite color? Pink, particularly lighter hues. Have you ever made a scrapbook? Yeah, for a little while when I was younger. What is a question you get asked too much? If my lip piercing hurt. It doesn't bother me, I'm just asked it most. Worst grade you’ve ever gotten? Zeros on things I didn't do/missed. Who are your 3 closest friends? Sara, Girt, and uh... Chelsea, I think. Maybe Lisa. What is something you have always wanted to do? Travel somewhere cool/really memorable. What are you listening to? A playthrough of The Last Guardian. God, I wanna play it so badly. Do you like the smell of cinnamon? It's one of my favorites, omg. Are you in a relationship? No. Do you like the band Hollywood Undead? Yeah. Do you like Taco Bell? Only the quesadillas, THE CINNABON DELIGHT THINGS, and fiesta potatoes. Who was the first person you spoke to today? My mom. Who was the last? I was just texting the woman who adopted Kaiju; she's catching me up on how she's doing, and apparently great! We're trying to plan a day for me to come see her. :> Have you told anyone you loved them today? Yeah. What song is stuck in your head right now? You mentioned HU, now "Bullet" is looping in my head lol. Does it snow where you live? Sometimes, but rarely a lot. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? No. How old is your oldest living grandparent? 80-something. Do you wear contacts? No, I wear glasses, but I wish I could do contacts again considering I desperately want an undereye microdermal but it'd look stupid with glasses, so. Contacts just annoy me. Where are the last three places you went? Taco Bell, my doctor's appointment, and the gas station. Do you ever go hunting/fishing? I would never in my life hunt, and I don't even want to fish anymore. Both are cruel (hunting more than "cruel"...) imo. I'd only ever fish again if Dad asked me to go with him, because since I was a kid, that's always been our "thing," our bonding experience. I wouldn't be able to say no. Do you know anyone who is a nurse? A lot, actually. Would you prefer to own a lapdog or a bigger dog? Sigh. Didn't think I'd want a dog after Teddy, but as of very recently, I've found myself missing the companionship of one. I don't know if I'll end up with another, though, but if I do, I'd want a medium-sized one, like Teddy was. Are you more of a cat person? Yes. What is your worst subject? Math. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Yeah. Do you play guitar? Not anymore. Have you had to have stitches at all in the last year? No. Have you ever stayed up all night and then gone to work in the morning? No. That sounds like hell. How many relationships have you been in so far this year? It's a week into January lmao. No. Do you prefer to be single or with someone? With someone. Though now that I am single, I kinda think that's for the better right now...? Eh idk. Do you have any tattoos? Yeah. Are you planning on getting any? Oh, plenty. My Mark tribute is getting tidied up by a great artist on the 4th next month and I CANNOT contain my excitement. Did you lose your virginity before you were sixteen? No. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No, and I never would. What are the middle names of everyone in your family? Wow yeah, lemme share that on the Internet. Where did you go the last time you took a vacation? The beach. Would you ever consider adoption? I don't want kids so like, Who is someone you aspire to be like? Man, there's a lot of people who inspire me in different ways. I think the world knows I look up to the wisdom, determination, dedication, creativity, compassion, etc. etc. etc. of Mark, I adore the heart and empathy of Shane Dawson, Steve Irwin is my absolute idol in terms of passion for animals, and Jeffree Star's work ethic is like, unbelievable. There are plenty others, but those really stand out. How do you feel about your life right now? oof What is your favorite game show to watch? Family Feud with Steve Harvey. He is so fuckin funny. How good are you in trivia games? What’s your best category? Idk. I'm probably best with animal knowledge though, judging from games I've played along with. Would you much rather test your knowledge or share opinions? I guess it depends on the subject and with whom. How do you feel about word games? Fun. Who is your absolute favorite film director? TIM BURTON. THERE IS NO COMPETITION W/ HIM. When’s the last time had to cover a coworker’s shift? Never. Have you ever had a really unreliable coworker? I've never worked long enough to know. Have you ever had to have a ring resized? No. What is a question you would never ever ask somebody? "I would never ask someone what they weigh." <<< This. I'm not a doctor, so I don't see any situation where that'd be an appropriate question to ask anyone. What sounds like a rude word but really isn’t? I'm sure there's something, but idk rn. Have you ever made a blanket? If so, how did you make one? No. How many godparents do you have? Do they care about you? Zero, I think. What is something that should not exist? Rape. Is there a word you have an emotional connection to? It sounds weird I'm sure, but "petrichor" (the smell of the earth after it rains) makes me feel... weird. Nostalgic, anxious, melancholy. Shortly before becoming a couple, Jason and I were just outside at school while it was raining, and we wondered what that smell was called. When we went back to the computer lab (where we were after exams were done), we looked it up and found out "petrichor" was the term. I remember those days too clearly for them to have happened eight years ago. How about a sound? Any emotional connection to a sound? Ummm not that I can think of. Is there something coming up that you are dreading? Not really, no. Do you ever read graphic novels? No. What is the most ridiculous product you have ever seen? Oh idk. Are there any spiders in your home right now? I mean realistically, probably? None that I know of. What was the last thing that made you laugh hysterically? I can't remember exactly what it was, but something on YouTube. I think on Game Grumps. Are there any candy stores where you live? Not that I'm aware of. Do you own any fingerless gloves? Yeah, I still have them in my drawer, actually. I wore them every day in high school. Tell me about the last animal you touched. My cat Roman. :') Have you ever witnessed a birth? Only cats. Can you see your reflection from where you are sitting? No. Wait, yes I can, though only slightly. My snake's cage is just across the room, so I can see against the glass a bit. Quick! Sniff the air. What can you smell? Cat. .-. Have you ever been in a restroom that actually had a restroom attendant? No? What was the last photo you took of? A deer! There were like, seven or eight in the field just across the road a few evenings ago. My lens didn't go out as close as I'd want, but I took some as practice anyway. I only got a few shots though; I came out to the front porch, and after about a minute, they gradually went back into the woods. What do you look for in a mate? Physically and personality-wise. Am I the only one who hates when human couples are referred to as "mates"???? Idk man it shouldn't because we're just animals, but it's weird. ANYWAY, I don't have like, a concrete vision of a partner, but I do have some set-in-stone personality/moral alignments that are musts, such as just being a generally good person, empathetic, you must love animals or shoo, be in touch with their emotions, understanding, soft stuff like that. I also have a strong preference for having a good sense of humor, I lean more romantically towards outgoing people, you gotta be laid-back and approachable... that kind of stuff. Physically, I really, really don't care, but I think we all have preferences; ex., while it really doesn't matter to me ultimately, I tend to find longer hair on guys more attractive than short. Your thoughts on bacon? Ugh, I wish I didn't love it. I wanna be a vegetarian again so badly. What are your thoughts on little kids with cell phones? If they're of an age where they may be separated from their parents semi-regularly and without the constant presence of a guardian, I'm actually for them having *simple* cellphones. Emergencies exist, and even I, someone who doesn't even want kids, would be scared knowing my child is without an easy, quick method of contact with me. Now, remember I did say "simple" cellphones; I don't believe a little kid should grow up unhealthily attached to technology (like me lmao), so especially in developmental years, I wouldn't want my kid to be glued to their phone playing games or roaming the Internet too freely. What was the last lie you told? I'm not sure. Is there anyone in particular you always try to tune out? Ugh, yes. For political bullshit that I cannot stand hearing. Do you work out? No. What was the last thing you ate with a spoon?  Uhhhh probably oatmeal. What is a food that you always are in the mood to eat? Ice cream lmao. Ever held a newborn animal? Yeah. Is there anything you’re in denial about? What? Maybe, idk. Have you ever been to a Chinatown? No. Do you prefer chunky or creamy peanut butter? CREAMY. Don't come near me with chunky pb. Do you stop to pick up heads-up pennies? No. Do you make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles? Yeah, even though I don't believe it does anything. It's just for the novelty of it. Do your pets have collars? Describe them: Bentley just has a blue, average collar. Roman doesn't because he absolutely hates them. What is the last thing you searched for online? Surveys. Do you use any scented lotions? What do they smell like? No. Do you have any friends that speak any languages you don’t understand? I mean yeah, Spanish is common in America.

[lucy-pepperwood]

Fem Izuku Black hair from her father Not quirkless Quirk= flight/flying ( a form of telekinesis ) Fem Izuku= Izuha (meaning something like plum or plum tree) Her nickname is Futotta which translates something to chubby or Fatty (https://www.wordhippo.com/what-is/the/japanese-word-for-5b5fb1c9d70308c44b6bf579a82122981bd37a7c.html) Izuha can fly; she can fly without concern of air currents, but if she wants to glide, she has to follow them, she cannot fly constantly. Izuha can hover. Izuha is not immune to pressure changes, air changing or the cold, she can fly with people, but it’s limited to one or two people, she can “take off,” or fly super fast from the start, the slower she flys, the longer can, more quickly equal shorter flight time, she can do “super jumps,” ner flight is entirely self-propelled, she cannot make other things or people fly unaided, she can maneuver herself while flying unaided, she can go “super sonic” by pushing her hands forward into a diving position and then pushing them back in a breaststroke manner, this js taxing and can only be done 1-3 times, the pressure still affects her. Izuha likely developed her quirk at four but did not discover it until she was six when she let go of the swing at the park, and instead of falling, she floated. Izuha loves her quirk, she uses it all the time at home, floating above her bed, doing chores while in the air, flying down the stair instead of walking and just skimming around an inch or two off the ground, her mother loves it when she is younger, she would go up and spin her daughter in giant circles, as she grows it becomes fond exasperation. At first, Every birthday or special event, Inko would take her daughter indoor skydiving to help train her daughter on how to control herself while in the air. Still, then as she got older, its something Izuha would do every weekend. Once she is older, Izuha gets a job to help pay for this. Inko runs a family store, where she hand makes items and sells them online and In-store; while not relevant to the story, it’s related to Izuha, because she understands what’s it like living on a budget or just plain poor, Izuha is a big supporter of small business. Izuha also helps her mom out by being her social media manager, errand/post girl, and helps her with making some items. Izuha also wants to be a hero; she wants to help save people, but she is still aware of the money that comes in from it. One of her dreams is that once she gets famous enough, she can get her mom also the business she needs. Izuha is a bigger girl, she is thick before thick is accepted, her ass, waist, and breasts are all bigger, she fills out all the clothes she wears, and unless shes wearing an XL its never baggy, her mom always frets that Izuha is dressed too provocatively or noticeable. In the last year of elementary and throughout middle Izuha is bullied bc of her weight, nobody remembers her quirk developing late, so it’s not mentioned. But her being fat, working, and her average grades are all targets. Izuha works, so she does not have time to hero watch/ analyze in person; she has to watch online if she can at all, between working as a barista during the week, schoolwork and flying om the weekend, plus helping her mom, Izuha has very little time. Izuha does not have a good relationship with Katsuki, their parents are friends, and as such, they go over for dinner and other such activities. Still, it’s very awkward for Izuha. To Katsuki, she is an overweight extra that his parents make him deal with. He belittles her constantly and openly bullies her at school. Beyond that, it’s not until she is accepted into UA that he physically attacks her. He attacks the other student who got in also. From Class 3-B, Watanabe Hiro is accepted into the business class and holds the number 2 spot at the middle school. Izuha fights back when attacked and tells Katsuki to get off and to get the fuck away from me. After this incident, Izuha refuses to associate with him and thinks of him as an awful person. When he confronts her again, she tells him he will never be a hero and that if all he wants to do is kill people, then he should join the military and go fight there, “your an awful person all you do is bully people, you’ll never be a hero.” Izuha has a very poor view of the military; because Japan was allied with the USA, Britan and Russia attacked and killed million in South America, 50 years prior, and then tried to cover it up. Her maternal grandfather died fighting for what Izuha see’s as a pointless slaughter. Izuha is a very positive person; she is that way bc of her mother, who told her to take all the hate that she’s gotten and put out twice the positivity, to combat all the negativity with her positivity, Izuha is always hyping people up, or helping them, she always greets people with a smile, always willing to help. Even working in the service industry never got her down. Izuha favorite color is yellow. AT UA. Izuha hero suit is yellow and white, has wings for gliding, is a full-body, designed for pressure damage and change, comes with an eye mask, and a retractable breathing mask that is attached to an air tank with 6 hours worth of oxygen. Her shoes are knee-high and come with a minor heel. Her suit is designed to be as aerodynamic as possible. Her hero costume also comes with a parachute and two military-grade lifelines so that Izuha can attack her two people to her so that even if she drops them, they are still connected. ( her suit kind of looks like Evangelion) During the entrance exam Izuha passes with a decent grade, during the practical she gets 31 combat points and 20 rescue points from when she flies people to safety, she tries to help Uraraka but is unable to. The robot stops before it can step on either of them. She is placed in 1-A, and during the ranking event, she places 9th. The events that she kills it are the standing jump, the dash, the distance run. She pushes everyone back one. In the end, Hakagure places last, with Yuga in 19th and Mineta at 18th. Aizawa expelled no one, but gives the three notice, he tells Hakagure explicitly that her quirk has merit and she did better than the national average, but she must improve herself. The boys were also given a warning about their low scores. Izuha for her ball throw jumps into the air and through the ball while at the same time as propelling herself back downwards, her ball flys 500 meters, but unfortunately, Izuha lands outside the circle and thus renders her score useless. This, as well as her average toe touch, sitting reach, and sit-ups, lower her score. In the battle trails, Izuha is paired with Ojiro, who, instead of leaving Izuha to be targeted alone, tricks Katsuki into think they separated but instead knocks him out from behind. Izuha is friends with Asui, Hakagure, and Uraraka. Izuha and Uraraka are both “best friends” as both have similar backgrounds. They both take advantage of all of UA’s free services. As Izuha becomes closer with all her classmates and adjusts well to the school; Katsuki does not; in fact, he gets isolated for his bad attitude and reprimanded serval times, for his poor attitude and excessive use of force. Izuha is never alone, so Katsuki ends up burring all of the negative emotions, turning him into a time bomb. Izuha does end up having to quit her job, as UA proves to be more demanding of her time, she has to train more and study more. So instead of losing money, she spends extra time at the school using their gyms and facilities instead of trecking it to the city where the indoor skydiving is. Izuha and Uraraka both become tutors for the school, though, to help make more money. After the sports festival, Izuha is approached by All Might. She is picked along with six other people to be tested further. He is looking for his successor. She has to undergo Interviews, testing, and training to see if she would be the final candidate picked. From Class 1-A Izuha, Mezo Shoji and Ojiro are picked in 1-B Itsuka Kendo, Yui Kodai, and Hiryu Rin. None of them are aware of the identity of the others, but they are told it is going to be a year-long consideration. They each have to sign NDA’s, and they have to comply with a contract of silence. Izuha, as a person, is very determined. She sets goals for herself and works towards them regularly. She is also an honest person, she is sweet when talking but always gets the truth out. Her hard work, honesty, and pleasant personality plus her quirk (which is decent and would be a good one to pass down to the next user ) are what draw All Might attention to her. In the USJ, her willingness to fight and put herself in the face of adversity were all points in her favor. Her performance at the Sports festival is what secures her spot. She is a team worker, she did her best, and when she lost, she did so with dignity and grace. She always treated her opposition with the correct amount of tenacity and respect. All Might decided that he is not looking for the next number one hero, but a hero who is the truest to the title. Someone who the populous can look up to as a real hero and not just a celebrity. Why these six characters. Izuha is based on Izuku; she bears much of the same personality traits and ethics as Izuku. Mezo Shoji- is a reliable charter that is proven to be selfless and cares about the well being of others. Combined with his calm and rational demeanor, he is a solid choice for inheriting one for all. He as the psychical requirement to be able to inherit. Ojiro- Again a strong and reliable person. Calm in the face of danger, he fought off villains by himself while being surrendered by fire. He came out on top. He also has a background in martial arts. During the sports festival, he held himself to high standards and competed with respect. He is already physically able to hold one for all. Again a solid choice to be a hero, not just a celebrity. 1-B) Itsuka Kendo, Yui Kodai, and Hiryu Rin. All three have quirks that would be complementary to hand down with the rest of one for all. All three are also noted as being calm and caring people, with serious personalities and strong convictions. They are independently observed and deemed to be candidates.

[kjack89]

College roommate AU! Established relationship

This prompt is over a year old, and I had frankly resigned myself to never actually filling it because I am trash, but then I was scrolling through my asks to find something else and I saw this and...idk, inspiration struck for the first time in forever.

Short, but, well, what can you do.

ExR, modern AU, established relationship. College roommates, just like it says on the tin.

Everyone had warned Enjolras and Grantaire that they shouldn’t live together during their senior year of college. “Why ruin a good thing with cohabitation?” Combeferre had asked, his eyes wide and earnest behind his glasses.

“Isn’t the sex better when you have to sneak into each other’s dorm room?” Courfeyrac had said, his tone wheedling.

“You haven’t had a fight in months,” Feuilly had pleaded. ”Don’t you remember what it was like before you two got together?”

Only Bossuet had been supportive. “I think it’s a great idea,” he’d told Grantaire loyally when he floated the idea by him. “After all, what could go wrong?”

Frankly, that should’ve been the only sign they needed.

But with the same reckless determination that Enjolras possessed when facing any obstacle, and with the lackadaisical apathy Grantaire had perfected over the years, they had signed the lease on a tiny one-bedroom just off campus, finally ready to bring their relationship to the next level.

A month and a half into the school year, and Enjolras— well, it wasn’t that he was regretting living with Grantaire. Enjolras had always pledged never to live his life with regret, after all, and besides which, he was a stubborn asshole who never had learned when to admit he’d made a mistake.

But he was willing to admit that he and Grantaire had perhaps not thought this through.

Or maybe Grantaire had. He didn’t seem to be having any difficulty with the situation, after all. His blood pressure didn’t skyrocket at various points during any given day because every little thing his boyfriend/roommate did drove him up the fucking wall.

“I told you so,” Combeferre said absently as he flipped a page in his organic chemistry textbook.

Enjolras shot him a withering look. “Are you going to offer any actual advice?” he grumbled. “Or just continue rubbing it in?”

Combeferre considered it for a moment. “The latter,” he said.

“C’mon,” Enjolras whined, burying his head in his arms. “Take pity on me.”

“Try talking to him,” Combeferre offered.

Enjolras sighed heavily. “I was afraid that’s what you’d say.”

After every single other member of Les Amis — as well as three different professors, the dour head of campus security and even Cosette’s father — all told Enjolras the same thing, he figured he may as well bite the bullet. So he went home and found Grantaire exactly where he had left him that morning, lying on the couch in an old hoodie, laptop balanced on his stomach, watching old episodes of ‘Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives’.

Enjolras’s teeth were instantly set on edge.

“Hey,” Grantaire said vacantly, tilting his head up automatically for the kiss that Enjolras dropped onto his lips. “How was class?”

“I didn’t go,” Enjolras said stiffly as he settled into the chair across from Grantaire.

Grantaire’s brow furrowed, and he paused the show on his computer and struggled to sit up. “You blew off class?” he asked. “Was there some protest I didn’t know about?”

“No,” Enjolras said, and Grantaire’s frown deepened.

“Did someone die?” he asked, clearly aiming for a joke, but when Enjolras didn’t smile, he sighed. “Come on, Enj, throw me a bone here. You know I’m a shitty mind reader, and you also know that for all your ‘fuck the man’ talk, you haven’t unnecessarily missed a day of class in three years—”

“Unlike you.”

Enjolras hadn’t meant to lead into the conversation this way, but he just couldn’t stop himself, and as it turned out, once he started, he just couldn’t stop. “I mean, Christ, Grantaire, I realize that you think everything is a joke and nothing is worthwhile, but the fact that you honest to God spend most of your days on this fucking couch when you could actually show up to your classes once in awhile—”

Hurt flashed across Grantaire’s face, replaced quickly by a small, dangerous smirk, the kind that aimed to deflect Enjolras’s anger while irritating the man at the same time. “Forgive me, Apollo, I wasn’t aware you had taken over as Dean of Students. You’ll be glad that I’m passing all my classes, so heaven fucking forbid I spend a few days on the couch before being resigned to a lifetime of misery and toil, at least, if your rants about the fate the proletariat are to be believed.”

His tone was scathing and for a moment, it looked like Enjolras was going to lash out at him, just as he would have in the days before they had both pulled their heads out of their asses and admitted what anyone with eyes could see about the way they felt for each other.

But then, to perhaps both their surprises, Enjolras sighed deeply, deflating as if all the fight was leaving him. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, drawing a hand across his face. “I don’t...I don’t know why it bothers me so much, but it does.”

“What bothers you?” Grantaire asked, concern clear in his tone.

Enjolras waved a vague hand in his direction. “Just...I know you’ve never been big on work ethic, but every day when I leave for class or for protest planning meetings or whatever, it — it bothers me that you don’t ever seem to have to work at anything.”

“Enjolras—” Grantaire started, his voice soft, but Enjolras ignored him.

“And I know — I’ve always known — you’re smarter than I am.” Grantaire let out an affronted noise and Enjolras glared at him. “Don’t even deny it. I’ve seen your standardized test scores. You don’t have to study. You just show up to class and take your exams, but I can’t do that. My IQ doesn’t break the bank, and if I want to help the most people possible, I need good grades so I can get into the best law school, and—”

“Who—” Grantaire’s voice broke as he stared at Enjolras. “Who told you that you weren’t smart?”

Enjolras rolled his eyes. “No one told me,” he started impatiently, but Grantaire cut him off.

“You are the smartest man I know.” Enjolras rolled his eyes again and Grantaire’s eyes narrowed. “And before you even try to tell me that Combeferre is smartest, or, heaven fucking forbid, repeating that bullshit you said before that I’m somehow smarter than you, I’m going to casually remind you of all the times you’ve told me that test scores aren’t an indication of intelligence, just how good someone is at taking a standardized test.”

Enjolras sighed. “In fairness, I mostly told you that because I was jealous of your test scores,” he muttered, the tips of his ears burning red.

Grantaire cracked a grin. “I mean, no shit,” he said, just a little smugly. “But you’ve also cited a number of academic studies that all say the same thing. Besides which, if I’m smarter than you and I say you’re smarter than me, than logically speaking, you have to be smarter than me because I know more than you.”

Enjolras stared at him. “That…” He trailed off. “I literally cannot even begin to tell you all the ways that’s not even close to being correct.”

“Sure you can,” Grantaire said, his grin slowly widening. “Because you’re smarter than me.”

Enjolras blinked, then laughed, shaking his head slowly. “Fine,” he said, grudgingly. “Then maybe we’re equally smart.”

Grantaire laughed as well, and picked himself off the couch to lower himself onto Enjolras’s lap before kissing him lightly. “How egalitarian of you,” he whispered.

Enjolras rolled his eyes but nonetheless pulled Grantaire closer to kiss him again. “Smartass,” he muttered.

“Yeah, but you love me anyway,” Grantaire said with a grin.

“God only knows why, but I do,” Enjolras sighed.

Grantaire’s smile softened. “And I can probably afford to go over to Joly and Bossuet’s to watch TV while you’re, you know, trying to study and shit.”

“That probably wouldn’t hurt,” Enjolras told him sincerely, before tilting his head and adding, “Or, and hear me out here, you could try actually going to class.”

“Cute,” Grantaire said, kissing Enjolras once more. “But don’t press your luck.”

“Worth a try,” Enjolras said, laughing.

“Yeah,” Grantaire said softly, resting his forehead against Enjolras’s. “You always are.”

[loveraids]

advice for incoming freshmen

hey guys! here’s a list of some tips i made for incoming freshmen. i thought i’d share some advice/knowledge i’ve accumulated over the years too. everything’s under the cut. if you have any questions/concerns, feel free to message me! ☀️ (tw: long post)

1. one of the biggest fears many people have entering high school is not making friends. however, there are MANY opportunities where you can make friends! besides being friendly with who you sit with in class, try joining a sport, club, extra curricular, etc. i’m not saying making friends is the easiest thing in the world- i still struggle with it today. but don’t put yourself down if you’re not immediately friends with everyone in the school in the first week- it’ll take some time to develop. remember that everyone else is just as scared as you are, and they aren’t gonna come out of their shells until you do as well.

2. depending on your school, they may start throwing college shit at u on day one (although unlikely). no matter what, don’t stress right now!! the college process really doesn’t begin until the weeks leading up to the summer of junior year. you have time!! it’s ok to not know what you want to do. college has an “undecided” major for a reason.

3. V O L U N T E E R. i cannot stress this enough. it has soso many benefits and freshman year will most likely be the most time-free year you have. find a position at your local zoo, library, camp, hospital, etc. it’s a great resume booster and can aid you in the college application process (additionally, if you have an honors society that requires volunteer hours, you’ll need them anyways). also, you get to help people !

4. freshman year is going to teach you what real high school work is. you may struggle, and it’s ok! i was one of the “bright” kids that had their grades drop once i entered high school, and yeah, it did a lot to my self esteem. but throughout the years i picked myself up- i embraced help from my peers/teachers, i figured out what method of studying works best (pro tip: studying for math? look over the basic rules and do thousands of practice problems. science that isn’t math based? quizlet and khan academy. history? quizlet.), i learned that it’s OK to get a grade under a 90/A-. it’s going to seem tough at first, but just remember that you’re adjusting to a completely new environment and work ethic. you will get through it!! please shoot me an ask if you ever need help i’ll always answer. (edit: also do ur homework!!! it could be the difference between a B+ and an A-.)

5. imagine the crustiest person in your grade right now. now imagine them trying to hit on a kid that’s four years younger than you. gross, right? that’s exactly what a senior hitting on a freshman is like!! do not do that shit!!! there is NO reason why a senior should be trying to hook up with you when they’re 17-18 and you’re 14-15. that shit is NASTY. do NOT date seniors (even juniors are sketchy).

6. high school is where you will probably encounter alcohol/drugs/sex/etc at some point. do not be pressured!! if you don’t wanna smoke or drink then don’t do it (if you’re with the type of people who pressure, you better run). ive personally never had an experience where i was pressured, and people were usually respectful, but i can’t speak the same for everyone else. wanna get fucked up and party with your friends? be careful! i’m not promoting underage drinking but lets be honest a lot of kids do it. no sense in trying to pretend like that isn’t the real world. if you’re invited to some party by someone you KNOW has a bad rep, then don’t go!! you’ll have more opportunities.

7. if you’re worried about SATs/college admissions exams, you have a year. kids in my school are kinda crazy and were studying freshman year which made NO sense to me. end of sophomore year/beginning of junior year is usually adequate (plus- the main rule with SATs/ACTs is that you should take the test NO MORE than three times- that’s three chances!! i personally did well on my SAT, so if u have any questions feel free to ask me.

8. back to the point of pressure - if you’re going to a gifted and talented program/school, you will most likely feel academic pressure. with so many bright and smart peers, your standards will end up being much higher than the general population. i’m speaking from experience.

9. student government is usually a popularity contest. if you don’t win, don’t beat yourself up. if you do, congrats!

10. take pictures! save holiday cards! make memories!! i sincerely regret not taking photos (with me in them!!) during my freshman and sophomore years. there are a lot of great memories that i didn’t record because i was too embarrassed to get in front of a camera. i’ve learned that i’d rather cringe at a photo i look bad in in the privacy of my own phone, rather than not have a picture at all.

11. start developing good studying habits right away. what motivated me was getting cute/colorful pens, highlighters, erasers, post-its, etc., and making my notes look really pretty. i have my own personal post-it collection now. if you find ways to make studying even remotely fun/interesting, it will be extremely beneficial in the long run. i remember the summer before my junior year, i was excited to go back literally because i wanted to use my new pens.

12. this is a future piece of advice, but i would say there’s a 99% chance that you will be friends with mostly different people by senior year. you might have a core few, or a bestie, but myself and many others know that there are people who we were best friends with freshman year that don’t say hi to us in the halls senior year.

13. listen, there are gonna be some snake ass bitches. there’s no avoiding it. just don’t pay attention to them!! they get off on thinking they’re better than you. the best way to no longer deal with someone you don’t like is to just not associate with them. i’m obviously over simplifying these situations, but its usually not that deep. if it’s to the point where it’s causing you a great amount of stress, then it may be something you need to talk to a guidance counselor about.

14. please. do. not. run. and scream. in. the. halls. who do u think u are?? it’s 8 AM i don’t want to hear your screeching voice as you run into 7 people!!!!!

15. the freshmen are usually the joke of the school. you’ll hear you guys referred to as gremlins in some way, shape, or form. just deal with it, you’ll understand when you’re no longer freshmen (unless someone’s being unnecessarily mean!!).

16. make friends with your teachers!!!!!!!!! stay after class to have a little conversation with them. email them after school. bring them gifts on major holidays. IT WILL PAY OFF. letters of recommendation? done! need a teacher to sign off on something? done! minorly messed up in class? they’ll let it go bc they like you! this will also probably result in an increase in your character/participation grades.

17. make a travel pack that you keep in your bag - a few small bills,  pads/tampons (for those who need), pen, pencil, bobby pins, nail file, hair elastic, gum/mints, small perfume, band-aids, charger, etc.

18. thrift books sells books for really cheap!! also, ALWAYS check other places before ordering from normal bookstores (i’m looking at u barnes & noble)- they’re most likely cheaper.

19. i’m not gonna be one of those people who is like “school is the best!! it can be great for anyone if you just try!!” bc that shit aint true. it might suck ass for some of you. just know that high school isn’t your life. some people act like your life ends after high school. we’re 14-18 years old and still have so much to learn and see. if you set up a countdown to the end of high school your first day of freshman year, so be it.

20. your teachers are people too. they’re not there for you to use and abuse. they have families, problems, LIVES. they also have 3289472 students besides yourself, and assuming they should put you above the rest will only end up in disappointment.

21. social media is not all that matters. esp in this day and age, people will definitely be using snapchat and instagram (and hey! tumblr too). but don’t think you need social media to fit in. one of the most popular girls in my school literally made her instagram just the other day. to reiterate: it’s not that deep!!

22. you’re gonna change a lot (which is ok!!). freshman year i only wore hot topic and watched supernatural & doctor who. now, i just watch cooking vids and fawn over shawn mendes. it’s ok to change!! even just though freshman year you’ll change. i know i got like. super gay

23. if you find yourself having free time (or having study hall), do your homework!!! once you get home you’ll probably get distracted/lazy. what i used to do was go to my local library after school and get all my homework done so that i wouldn’t leave my school mindset and not wanna do anything. even if you don’t get everything done, you’ll thank yourself later.

24. there’s a difference between “forming your own opinion” on someone and completely ignoring their reputation/what your friends say. i can’t tell you how many people have gotten burned by the SAME guy in my school because none of them even kept in mind the warnings they had heard about him. it’s ok to give people a chance, but remember that most people’s reputations hold some truth (but not everyone!).

25. this seems pretty obvious but like. be nice. don’t talk mad shit about people you don’t know. rumors fly FAST in high school. what’s even worse is when they’re not true. fact check your shit if you ARE gonna gossip.

26. ok last point (for now). everything is gonna be new. there’s no getting around it. you WILL feel out of place. you’ll most likely be anxious. but everything will end up ok (cheesy, i know). the first week of high school is one the scariest weeks you’ll have in high school. things need time to settle. you’ll make friends, you’ll find things you like, you’ll be happy!! enter high school with a growth mindset. it may not seem like it, but your attitude WILL impact how things turn out.

overall, you guys will be fine. good luck to all of you !! if you have any questions or need advice on a specific thing, please feel free to send me an ask!! i’m always here. love u bbies

[daniedoodles]

Danie’s Dilemmas Ep. 26: Books Closed

Today of all days, I’ll Always Remember You by Hannah Montana could not be taken more seriously. It’s the last day of senior year. In spite of how much I anticipated to cry on this day, I actually didn’t, possibly because I’ve thought about it so often for the last two months (or maybe it’s because my last diploma isn’t until this Thursday so really, everyone’s last day is slightly different). I have so much to say, but none all at once. This has been said time and time again, but I feel like for most of high school, we had the tendency to take it for granted; we all wanted to drop out or give up at some point because it just felt like there was nothing about our experiences that implied that eventually, it would get better. All those times complaining about homework or cramming for exams... except now that it’s over, we can’t help but focus on the good parts about it that have also come to an end, most of which were moments spent with friends doing dumb shit lmao. 2019 so far has proven to be one of the most bizarre years thus far. I’ve spent time with people that I never thought I would get the chance to, endured the most UNserious exam season, and now, the most UNserious last day of school. Since I was not remotely prepared to face the last day in terms of taking the opportunity to formally thank all of the people that made high school as fun as it has been, I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone and mention them on this episode :) And yes, I will be mentioning names. We’re NOT in high school anymore so there’s no need to play guessing games. 

Vicky: I never know how to start these things without making it sound cringey or sappy, but bitch we have been THROUGH it. Regardless of how we’ve managed to not get into a single class together throughout the entire three years we’ve spent in high school, we somehow managed to stay hella close which you should know by now, I am incredibly grateful for. I haven’t exactly been as active with the group, but that’s only because I know we have all of summer ahead of us to make up for it. Just know that I’m always going to be here to be the voice of reason, but also your partner in crime. We’ve laughed too loud and cried too hard over the dumbest shit, taken bomb ass photos and eaten too much food. I’m so excited for what other dumb shit we can do together. When you’re out on your own adventures, pls text me so I know you’re not dead. I love you, my favourite rat. OwO

Alex: Whew, sis. We came together on the oddest terms, talking about failed love interests and all that bs, but aren’t you glad that it happened? Otherwise, we wouldn’t have had that deep talk at the ridge, wouldn’t have realized how similar we were in terms of how bad we are with gaining closure lmao. I’ve never felt more comfortable to cry as hard as I have about the death of a fictional character as I have been with you, and that speaks volumes because I hate crying in front of other people. Last summer was by far one of the best summers I have ever experienced and I’m grateful to have spent a majority of it with you. Thanks for saving my ass when I snuck out of the house that one time and for staying up and feeding me after I got back from being out until 3am. Now that school’s out, let’s get on that mf tanning grinddddddd. ily bitch. I swear, I feel like I have I lot more to say for you but right now I’m coming up blank. But I feel like you already know what else there is that I have to say... if not, I’m saving it for your birthday (hurry up and be 18 already goddamn). 

Laureen: Laureen you already know we’re on the same wavelength lmao. Even though I feel like I see you the least of all in the group, it’s comforting to know that it doesn’t lessen the integrity (sorry to give u ptsd from the diploma) of our friendship. Being born on days that are so close together really be hitting us different. I swear, there have been so many times where we’re just thinking about the exact same thing, which is both cool and creepy. LIKE OUR GOD TALKS OMF. Seeing that we’re both the moms of the group, we gotta stick together to take care of our crackhead children. But fr, I trust you with everything. My future children, my own life, my phone, my butler ;) How are you not my emergency contact, honestly? We need to have a car talk and see what comes out of that. There is so much more I have to fill you in on. (also don’t forget about clubbing next Thursday eeooow). 

Joscelynn: Let me tell you, Joscelynn, how big of a blessing it is to have you live so close to me. Out of everything that you’ve done for me, I think the one I’m most grateful for is for the time that you “broke” into my house to check if I unplugged my straightener LMAOO... or that time when you just hugged me while I was breaking down in the washroom at the end of the day where I had a test for all four periods. As much as I don’t know who most of your tea is about, it’s nice to know that you’re comfortable to confide in me and the whole group about all kinds of things, even when we don’t ask for the kind of detail you provide HAHAHAHA. Also, thanks for always coming in clutch with all the board games. Much love, Pennywise. <3

Diane: I know we sort of hit a wall with our friendship at one point, but I’m really happy that we were still able to recover from it and rekindle our friendship. I understand that the circumstance is all different now, and we aren’t as attached to one another as we once were back in junior high, but I think there’s some good in that because we were able to grow at our own pace. Although we have to admit that we did grow a little bit apart as well in the process, I like that we are both still able to reminisce fondly on the moments we’ve shared in the past. You’re one of the brightest minds I know :). I feel like I never told you enough but I always appreciated how easily you could bring a smile to people’s faces. Yeah, keep doing it. If you ever need to vent, I’m only a 4-minute scooter ride away. 

Anna: Holy shit sis, idek where to begin. You’re by far the biggest reason why I was able to haul my ass through to the end of high school. If you didn’t look out for my water intake, or the little errors in my calculations... I don’t even want to imagine it. You’ve done so much for me and have had to endure all of my shit that I can’t encapsulate it all into a single letter. I can’t thank you enough for all the memes that have made me piss myself on countless occasions, no matter how old they were nor how often I would look back on it, for recommending me to the program that will finally release me from the constraints of the status of being a “broke ass bitch”, for staying up with me discussing all kinds of things from the environment and ethics, to fortunes, astrology, love, and TEA. We’ve both seen each other at our most vulnerable and beaten down state (which is literally every English class), and we’ve celebrated each other’s triumphs, but most importantly, laughed at our failures (English, again omg). I can’t help but get emotional whenever I think of how you’re gonna be leaving soon for UBC, but it’s not like that’s going to affect how often we keep in touch anyways lol. We can’t just have the kettle always overflow, you know? Fr tho, I’m big fucking sad about you leaving, but I’m also so proud of how far you’ve come. I really don’t know how tf I’m supposed to be able to cope with suddenly not seeing you everyday. Ugh, ew I’m crying now but as I was saying, thank you for everything. I can’t wait to get those dream recorders out on the market after we’ve gathered all the knowledge on neuro/psych and business so we don’t have to wake up in the middle of the night and write out the dreams in our notes anymore. I’ll miss you a fuck ton ON GOD. 

Cheyenne: Cheyenne!! I’m so glad I met you and Anna when I did :)) we made the best chemistry lab group, we basically made titration our mf bitch. There was always so much comfort in knowing that we were all on the same page about not getting assignments done on time for English lmao. You just hear that sigh of absolute relief. I’m happy to have become close enough with you for you to be able to trust me with all the stuff you’ve spilt, and for reading your cards when you need them read. I can’t wait for all of us to actually do shit together this summer, I don’t even understand how we let the summers prior pass us like that. In all seriousness though, Cheyenne, you’re so kind and genuine, I’m glad we’ve gotten a lot closer this year. After summer, I guess I’ll be seeing you around campus!! 

Yuan: Bitch, hay nako. Where to start? I don’t think I’ve ever been quiet OR in a bad mood after hanging out with you. I’m glad that I was able to count on you to distract me from getting any work done in class and for getting photos of mee sleeping. Grabe, nakakabwiset HAHAHAHA. Actually though, I don’t think we’ve been close-close up until recently but I’m still so happy that we are now kasi ang saya mong kasama. Not a lot of people can convince me to speak Tagalog so already that says something. Basta, I’ll keep this short cause it’s not like we’re not seeing each other over the summer. We’ve got a lot of time to make more memories. Pwede nang uminom (thank God). Thanks for all the laughs, and for keeping up with the bullshit I write on this page lol. 

Joaquin: Hey, “best friend” wassup?? We haven’t been close for long either. In fact, we’ve barely just hit the 2-week mark of our friendship. But I will say that that was the most last minute transition from acquaintance - close friend. Even though we’ve been in at least one class together during each of the three years, we weren’t necessarily on active talking terms... until now. Thus far, every moment I’ve spent with you and Yuan, or just you, have all been for the books. I don’t think I’ve laughed as much as I had on that one day that we went to Southcentre. Already I can say that you’re one of the greatest people I know: generous, kindhearted, hilarious, and with a great taste in music. I’m excited for whatever it is that ends up happening in the summer, spontaneous or planned, I can’t wait. :D Ps. Thanks for getting me out of the house lol.

Jay: James, bruh. We haven’t been in touch lately, but I feel like you already know what’s coming to you, considering a majority of my indirects to you are basically just going to get reiterated right at this moment. Always know that I genuinely appreciate all of the deep talks we’ve had in the past and that you’re one of the few people I trust to openly express my thoughts to. I hope everything with tennis continues to go well, and that we get to catch up soon ‘cause lowkey it has been TOO long since we’ve last talked-talked.  

Maxine: Max, by the time you’re back on social media, you’re probably never gonna see this because it’s going to be buried so deep into my feed and I know that you’re too lazy to scroll that far down, but I’m gonna write it anyway. We’ve been friends for awhile now, and only now, in our second semester of senior year, did we manage to get into the same class ever since junior high, and it’s safe to say that there has never been a dull moment with you... to the point where I’m pretty sure we made the teacher hate us. I don’t know why you were so set on saying goodbye today when we literally live in the same community and have each other’s numbers, but aight lol. Max, you really be the OG out here. Every time we talk we can’t help but reminisce on how much we sucked ass at opening our own lockers in grade 7 and to this day it still cracks me tf up. Thank you for dealing w my bs after all this time, and for letting me stay at your place before and after school in junior high. ily  

Jerry and Cam: Y’all we go WAYYY back. Even though you guys didn’t attend school at bob, I still wanted to make a point of thanking the both of you for reconnecting. Plus, this is one of the few opportunities I have to acknowledge the support of my audience (LMFAO) so I thought “why not?”. We’ve only hung out once since February (or March? idek), but that’s definitely gotta change now that we’ve got a lot more free time. Y’all know where to find me when you need advice/opinions/someone to talk to when you’re bored/a tour guide to the boring south lmao (or maybe not that.. I lack street smarts). 

That’s it. I’m also probably going to email my teachers because I did not have the time nor the energy to do anything before the last day of school so that’s how they’re going to get it. Is this what it means to be eco-friendly?? Writing emails instead of actual handwritten cards??? I mean.. okay I guess. 

In conclusion, ending the senior year is bittersweet. If there’s anything I’ve learned from going through it all, it’s that you should get all your shit over with in your grade 10 and 11 years, so you’ll be cruisin by senior year. Also, don’t deprive yourself of hanging out with friends. That shit sucks ass and you’ll regret it a lot. 

ps. just because high school is ending, does NOT mean that this is the end of Danie’s Dilemmas. You really think the tea’s gonna stop there??

For now. 

Keep up. 

x

[eminperu]

On the Value of Being Challenged: Defining my ideals through one million rhetorical questions (sorry)

“We’re afraid she’s not being challenged enough.” I think the first time this phrase was applied to me, an examiner pulled it out of a very standard toolbox for talking about kids like me, at a conference regarding my placement exam results for entrance into the gifted program. To be fair, it was also a sugar-coated explanation of why Mrs. Meyer couldn’t stand my arrogant first grade ass (in my defense, she refused to call on me in class anymore because I KNEW THE ANSWERS. Yeah, Mrs. Meyer, let’s not go to Applebee’s when we’re hungry BECAUSE THERE IS FOOD THERE). It’s also the justification I learned to rely on when I didn’t do stuff because I didn’t want to do stuff, like the time I tested out of Mrs. Whitsell’s math class because she played too much Enya and favored the boys, or got sent out into the hallway in fifth grade for working ahead in the book during the lesson (that was a terrible punishment, I finished my work in a cool ten and chatted with people passing by). Let me be clear, I know I’m not anything special—Berkeley made sure I knew that. But even though I’m no Cindy Crawford (guys, she studied chemical engineering at Northwestern with a reported IQ of 154, check your biases), being “smart” has been arguably the most central and defining characteristic I have. While I’m not sure I’ve always felt adequately academically “challenged” in all my pursuits, I’ve also never worried that I was not developing myself in some way. [Warning: I’m not going to try to be modest in this post. I’m trying to honestly reflect, so just deal with it.]

This week (and by this week I mean the week I started writing this post a month ago…eek), I’ve had two coworkers from my last school tell me about a few students who have said really nice things about how much they missed me. Both of the students are absolute rascals, the kind who really hated school until the year I had them in my class. I love those kids. I love knowing that I excel at forming relationships and reaching “behavior” kids. I remember when Jason finally got an 89% on one of my science tests last year and bought in. I remember how excited Deon would get to do a job for me (run a note that said “Mr. Fields please make Deon do something physical for the next eight minutes then send him back”) as a reward for sitting through a whole guided reading. I know I’m a good teacher. I use my creativity and my intelligence every second of every day, topped maybe only by empathy and ability to connect with people. For the last four years, I’ve also clung to the self-righteous smug cloud I get from saying I am a teacher in low-income schools. Teachers work hard, plus I get an element of altruism when I drop the zipcode of the schools I teach in. Apparently, “teacher” has burrowed its way into my identity in a pretty significant way. Is teaching my thing? Is helping people my thing?

I know work ethic isn’t my thing. I know that. I’ve never been one to happily do things for sake of doing them—generally speaking, I’m about the destination and the journey can go fuck itself (is it starting to become apparent what Mrs. Meyers was on about?). But I do like to do things that matter. And I do like for people to think I am smart and capable. Does that mean I need to be challenged to feel successful? Do I find intrinsic value in completing tasks that I deem worthy?

It seems fair to say I couldn’t really know if I valued being challenged until I felt I wasn’t anymore. Teaching used every single bit of my mental and emotional energy and drew on all of my skills (threw a lot of my weaknesses in my face as well, to be honest). Now, my VIP Kid lessons don’t even require me to view them before teaching them and, while I think bartending definitely draws on a a lot of my strengths, it also isn’t exactly a high cognitive workload. I find myself jumping to grasp those little moments—when my manager says I can do my job better than him, when my teaching boss jokes that my half-sarcastic corrections of him will either get me fired or promoted on my first day, when my 15-year-old tutee loses his shit over finding out that I went to Berkeley—this self-satisfaction at proving my intelligence to others seems a little new and a lot douchey.

Working from home rocks, but it also kind of sucks. I wake up, I teach online, then it’s 9 am and I have the rest of my day ahead of me. My fingers seem to automatically begin to take me to Netflix or Facebook after my grueling three hour workday. I enjoy watching Friends. I like laying out in the park. But why would I feel so much more accomplished if I had reorganized all my clothes? Or painted a picture? If I had completed a full day’s work (not just a few hours), I think I’d feel totally justified in not accomplishing anything “productive” afterwards. I didn’t anticipate that how I chose to spend this precious free time I dreamed about, talked about, moved 6,000 miles away for, would ever affect that drastically how I see myself. And let’s be clear that 6pm-on-a-Thursday-still-at-school-Emily would backhand me for even THINKING of complaining.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m pretty happy here. I have made a lot of friends and my time is 100% my own. With that, though, comes a lot of time to think. I want to make sure my time here is balanced and I leave feeling like I got something out of it. I got a couple in-person teaching jobs because, for fuck’s sake, I need to put on pants and leave the house before 7pm–also, they hand teaching jobs out like candy here if you look like you speak English. And I feel really satisfied after those lessons, although I’m teaching people with loads of money that want to use their English to make more money. However, I have to limit myself. I started working 10-11 hour days just because I could. I partially came here to write, and I did a whole lot more of that in Europe than I seem to be getting done here. I also applied for a really simple writing job and didn’t get it, which sucked. There could have been a million reasons why, but I had to submit a short writing sample so I’m guessing I’ve subconsciously swallowed this pass as a failure and am letting it sit heavy in my stomach (and confidence). I’ve started a book, but I also found that any grant applications I can submit won’t be due for quite a while (and would commence the following year). I’m scared I don’t have the self-motivation to pursue the things I love with the vigor they require. I could see myself easily falling into a pretty content life of teach, nap, cook, bartend, repeat. Is that enough? Before this year, I would have said yes. Here I am in this bratty millennial dilemma: wanting to be recognized for being exceptional; but lounging in the comfort of not putting myself out there for something I’m sure someone smarter/more diligent will get. Another factor at play: if I were able to live this lifestyle in San Francisco around all my best friends and the all-around greatest people in the world, I may feel differently. I’ve always thought that relationship-based—not not achievement-based success—appealed to me. As long as the people I love are happy and involved in my life, I’m happy. Of course, I say say that while also having always pretty much achieved things in a linear, predictable, and temporally-appropriate manner.

The flip side of this is that it’s kind of cool to be working just for money now. Before, I was teaching and the factor stopping me from blowing all my money was being too tired, not not having it. I saved a bit, and it really wasn’t a concern, priority, or consideration (especially not when deciding what line of work to go into, obviously). Now, I measure how many activities I should do based on what I made that day. “Nah, I don’t wanna buy those jeans, that’s three VIP KID classes!”

Basically, in summary, I take issue with the phrase “Find your passion and you’ll never work a day in your life.” My last job was fulfilling beyond measure, but it necessitated that I work my ASS OFF each and every day. I think I may have placed myself in a paradox—doing what I love makes it so I can’t enjoy my life, but if I don’t do it I won’t feel fulfilled.

This is dumb. I came here to bartend, be a barista, sherpa some alpacas, sleep in and workout. Fuck feeling fulfilled, right? Ugh, what’s that whole thing with the grass being green, again? Anyway, back to Neflix.

Goals: CARVE OUT MY WRITING TIME AND HOLD MYSELF TO IT. Make a plan for what will make me feel productive during my week at home. Keep eating healthy and working out (I have made time for that, and that feels good).

Updates: My friend Feras visited and I finally go to travel around Peru! Cusco was absolutely beautiful, a quaint history-rich town splayed up and down the Andes mountains. The architecture, the air, the size—it was a welcome break from Lima. I was also taking on A LOT of classes and shifts at the bar, so it was similarly a welcome break from working. Machu Picchu was absolutely incredible as was our dinner at Maido; I’ll post about those soon.

I’m headed back to Kansas for about three weeks to see my (whole!!) family and I’m so excited. I think the reset will be really nice. I’m going to hold myself accountable to reflecting on my experience so far and channeling that into a productive life plan for the next few months (even if that plan means staying largely unproductive).