#who reeeaaaaallllly wanted to pet the snake

[heyclickadee]

I’m probably less afraid of venomous snakes than I should be. I mean, they’re dangerous, of course, but the best way to avoid being bitten is to just give them a wide berth. It won’t always work, because they’re hard to see, and a person will sometimes, tragically, not see a snake until they’re stepping on it. But they’re not malicious. There are aggressive snakes out there, but they’re fairly rare, and it’s not as though they go out looking to bite humans, because we’re too big for most snakes, let alone venomous snakes, to eat. When, for example, rattlesnakes snakes bite, they bite because they’re threatened, surprised, or scared. They’re just trying to defend themselves from something much bigger than they are, and which they perceive as a threat. Rattlesnakes even warn you to get away before they bite you most of the time! They’re so polite! Like, sorry I disturbed you, little guy—let me back up and move out of your way. No reason to panic.

I am, however, terrified of water snakes. Like. Oh? Is that a sea snake? Cool, cool, cool, it’s not even going to have to bite me because I’m going to give myself the benz by panicking and pulling the wrong tab on my scuba vest so I shoot up to the surface like a cork. Ditto for water moccasins (though let’s be real, if I find myself in the water with a water moccasin I’m probably also bumping into an alligator).