#who normally causes me to not tag but not today I guess since it's more weighted to normal ones

[the-weeping-dawn]

Text post meme reign of terror continues on another batch it appears

[ivysprophecy]

please please please

word count; 1644

summary; turning off your phone and shutting out the world isnt the best way to handle your problems but its what you do. and jjs had enough of it.

warnings; i dont think there is any? mentions of anxiety attacks? tagging @murdockcastleslut @kimoralov3 @arkofblake

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divider by @bernardsbendystraws

"well hey there stranger"

i turn from my book to look behind me, seeing the boy id been actively avoiding for the past two days. carrying his surf board.

i shouldve remembered he'd come here to surf. i just wouldn't have guessed this early in the morning.

"hey jayj."

"oh thats all i get? 'hey'? no 'i miss you so much'?" he sets his board in the sand taking a seat next to me on my blanket.

guess im not finishing my book today. "oh my god jj! youre here! ive been dyingggg to talk to you! i cant believe youre really in here in the flesh! there. better?"

"oh dont be like that- cmon mama whatd i do?" i feel bad with the genuine concern on his face.

okay was ghosting him out of nowhere awful of me? probably. i just didnt know what else to do.

after that night at the bonfire i realized that with my feelings for him growing it wasnt a good idea for us to continue our casual... something. it played with both our emotions. it isnt fair to either of us.

especially after his 'i love you'. that really did it in for me.

"you didnt do anything jj. trust. i just... ive been in a funk. needed some me time thats all."

"well... do you still need your 'me time'?" he looked so hopeful. how could i say yes? where jj maybank is concerned ill easily fold every time. "cause you havent answered my texts so i couldn't ask you to surf with me this morning."

"... i dont have my board. but i suppose i can hang out with you for a little while."

"im honored," he smiles laying back on his elbows, "but really. are you good? i like to think i know you pretty well and this whole MIA thing was not normal."

turning to face him more, i sigh, what the fuck am i supposed to say? 'yea im just so in love with you i cant be around you' yea that would go over really well.

"i dont know. just gotta lot of stuff goin on. you dont have to worry though. im good."

"well do ya wanna talk about it?"

"trust me jay you dont wanna hear about my problems. theyre trivial at best."

"what are friends for if not for listening?" he nudges me with his shoulder urging me to talk. i really dont think i can do this. i was not prepared.

"youre not a very good listener," i point out, to which he immediately takes faux offense. jaw dropped and everything.

"oh thats just not true! i can listen!"

i run a hand through my tangled hair in frustration. this cannot be how i tell him. it just cant. i came here to get away from thinking about this and now hes right here in front of me acting so unserious while im spiraling.

"jj i really appreciate how eager you are to help me but its really not necessary. i didnt really prepare myself and its just too much-"

"prepare yourself? mama what the fuck are you talking about? does this have to do with that night after the bonfire? i mean obviously it does who am i kidding you havent talked to me since then. did i do something wrong? was- was it bad?" he leans in closer, lowering his voice thats laced with worry and guilt.

oh my god that is the absolute last thing i expected him to say. shit i really fucked this up. and honestly just not true.

"what? no! no jj you didnt do anything wrong and it was perfect. promise," i try to reassure him but i know deep down hes gonna over think this whole thing if i dont tell him straight up

i may love him but i never said he was the brightest in the bunch.

"okay so whats the problem?"

"the problem is that it was perfect," i cant help but let out a sigh before hiding my face in my hands as the words leave my mouth.

god my heart is racing, im not ready for this conversation. maybe if i pass out i wont have to. yea if he has to call an ambulance then we can avoid this all together. but an ambulance is also like five grand so...

shit.

"... youre mad at me because you had a good time?" his face contorted in a weird fixture of confusion.

"no! no- god youre so dense sometimes!"

"mama i dont have a fucking clue what youre saying! how does that make me stupid??"

i hide my face in my hands again trying to compose myself because what the fuck kind of confession is this?

"jj im avoiding you because ive been developing feelings for you and i cannot in good conscience keep being so casual with you and sleeping with you knowing this and i know that you do not want anything serious so i figured id just make it easier for the both of us and just take myself out of the situation entirely so that nothing bad happens and i cannot stop fucking talking so please for the love of god say something or do something because i feel like my heart is about to beat out of my chest and-"

oh my god im getting my book moment. he just kissed me to make me stop talking!!! oh my god hes kissing me.

is this where i kiss him back?

of course i kiss him back!! what the fuck!!? and oh my lord does it feel nice, so so so nice.

the way his tongue presses against mine, the way he cups my jaw and pulls me close to him. it was slow and confident and loving and everything he knows i like. his hands find my hips like muscle memory, pulling our bodies together, eventually having me on his lap. where he takes my hands and places them on his chest so i can feel his chest rise and fall with deep breaths.

“… mama you need to learn to breathe.”

“that’s not funny right now jj. im actively having an anxiety attack, horrible thing to say really."

"what're you so anxious about? i think we're havin' a pretty calm conversation, dont you?"

"i mean yea- but thats not-" he interrupts me while shaking his head with a shrug.

"listen, i get why youre a little nervous to say that, all things considered. but i thought it was pretty obvious i was into you, i just didnt wanna push you because you made your boundaries clear so i just took what i could get."

my eyes bug out of my head in shock. am i the dense one? i mean yea hes a really good kisser and i can feel he cares deeply about me when we do stuff and makes me feel safe and supported but that doesnt mean-

yea im stupid. he all but outright said it. actually he has. thats what started this panic.

"... okay yea- maybe. but you agreed they were a good idea so i figured that meant you wanted them there too. and i dont know- it just kind of got overwhelming and i didnt wanna be one of those girls who expects something huge after sex so... you know what i mean? and truthfully youre not what i expected for me."

"what does that mean?" his face showed a little offense.

"i just mean- ya know. for one i didnt expect to love my best friend. and then on top of that i didnt think id love a guy who was a treasure hunting, or- adrenaline junkie i should say."

he leans back putting some space between us, "is that supposed to be a bad thing?

"no! no jay im not saying this right- i-... youre a fighter and youre adventurous- a lot of things im not. if that makes sense. all im sayin is a few years ago i wouldnt have expected to be here. but i like it here. love it here even," i smile at him teasingly trying to ease his worries. the last thing i need is to say the wrong thing right now.

"so what youre saying is that you love me?"

"youre such an idiot."

'but do ya? because i think you do mama."

i roll my eyes chuckling, "yea. yea i do maybank," i press a small kiss to his cheek leaning back into him.

"does this mean youll let me make you a maybank mama?" his eyebrow was quirked up as he teases his question.

"lets not get ahead of ourselves. how about we take this slow?"

he looks down at my button up shirt i was wearing over my bikini to shield me from the ocean breeze, and i could tell he was debating taking it off of me. giving me that same look he always does.

"slow? mama i dont think we're gonna be too good at that."

"all 'm sayin is we dont have to jump the gun, we both admitted it, doesnt mean we gotta change the way we act or announce it or nothing. we can just enjoy this ourselves ya know?"

"you embarrassed of me mama?"

"not at all baby, just want you all to myself. is that too much to ask for?"

he shakes his head leaning up against me, our faces inches apart, "nah i dont think so. i like the sound of that."

i meet him the rest of the way pressing his lips to mine, smiling into it. pulling him as close as humanly possible. i need him under mind skin, in my blood, you know?

"i do too, so we agree? we'll keep this between us for now?"

"whatever you want mama. yes maam."

[stranger224]

    “George you bastard what did you do to me?” Shelly screamed into the phone. “I was at the mall doing some Christmas shopping when I suddenly got an overwhelming urge to drop to my knees and suck someone’s cock. I was presenting my udde- boobi- tits to anyone who wanted to see them and begging them to let me suck them off. It didn't stop until security escorted me out of the store.” Shelly adjusted her shirt and bra, ever since that incident both felt like they were too tight on her. On the other end of the line George was half grinning, half embarrassed. “Shel, Im sorry, I didn't know you were planning on going shopping today, at the mall no less it was supposed to be a surprise for tonight”

    “What did you do to me, and how do I stop it Master? Cause it's like starting up again. My mouth feels so tingly and empty. Oh Master, when are you coming home? I need your cock” Shelly begged into the phone lewdly her jeans felt tight on her ass and thighs all of a sudden maybe she should take them off?”

    George’s voice took on a more authority tone at the word "Master“ Fuckslut. Do you have your headphones?” 

    “Yes Master, Fuckslut has Fucksluts headphones but how will that help Fuckslut get cock?

    George pinched the bridge of his nose Fuckslut was fun but she could be very single minded sometimes “Please put them on”

    “Ok Master” there was a light bit of shuffling “Ok Master they are on”

    “Hit the power button please” Fuckslut did and the world around her became quiet before filling with the sounds of George’s office. A cloud lifted and Shelly felt her mind revert to normal. Her shirt and bra still felt tight however 

    “Ok Im back explain”

    “So you know that silly internet game Wham-a-geddon?”, Well I thought it would be fun to tie your bimbofication triggers to that song, so the more you hear it the more you would bimbofy. I had a whole playlist where the frequency of the song amps up until it plays for 5 hours on loop. I was going to use it on you tonight as a surprise.”

    Now it was Shelly’s turn to pinch her nose “A surprise for me or for you? You know that game was made because it's one of the most frequent songs played on the radio the goal is to try and not hear it”

    “Well I guess for today you are playing on hard mode”. George said sheepishly. “Don’t worry, so long as you keep your headphones on, you should be fine, Now I have to go someone just started to play the song here I’ll see you tonight love you” 

    Shelly checked out the charge on her headphones Only a few minutes of battery left she hadn't been charging them. Pulling one headphone out of her ear she heard the fading voice “I'll give it to someone special” The headphones would charge if they were in the case and the song couldn't loop that often So Shelly decided to risk it. She only had a few more stores to hit. What is the worst that could happen?

    At about 5 o’ clock the employees of Victoria Secret were surprised by the strangest sight Woman walking into the store with the most plastic body any of them had ever seen. She was wearing a pair of pink lucite heels with the tags from Spencer gifts still on them.a pair of soaked panties that were making a buzzing sound and not much else. The tattered remains of a t-shirt and bra were clinging to the tops of her obviously fake breast. While the shredded flaps of her jeans were held up by her waist her ass cheeks were completely on display. A crowd of gawkers were following behind her staring at the bizarre woman. Through a face frozen with botox and lips so inflated drool was dripping from her keyhole pout. The woman was humming a song. It sounded like that old 80’s Christmas song that they played on loop around her. “Can you like help Fuckslut find something yummy for Fuckslut to wear to make Master’s cock hard?”

    One employee walked over to the bimbo and said “right this way maam”, guiding her to the back of the store to distract her while another ran to get security.

    An hour later George bundled the heavily bimbofied Shelly or- Fuckslut as she kept telling the security guard-into his car to take her home. he had forgotten one key feature of that particular christmas song: How easy it was to get stuck in one’s head 

Model is Stephine Michelle Caption by Me 

[accio-victuuri]

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAKE A LEMONADE 🍋🍋🍋

this post is connected to the whole cotti drama that i talked about here & here. the brand has since then posted their statement and apologized, and make no mistake, this has nothing to do with cpf and even if they are szd. it’s all about pr damage control and wanting to gain back the loyalty of wyb’s core fans. i wanna say (sadly) this is not something new in c-ent. so/o fandoms do this all the time, they want the “best” for their idol so they throw tantrums and stage boycotts. what a lovely group of people, nope. brands (should) know this. that popular idols bring in their fandom/money, but one misstep can be a huge problem. for example with cotti, they had a collab with dove last year (august 2023) , xz was already endorsing them at the time but wyb wasn’t. so it’s not like this was done out of nowhere. they just did a repeat collab. but we all know the difference now.

i made a boxiao endorsement cpns post before and consider this as a continuation. cause funnily enough, some so/os started digging up previous “incidents”. thank you for giving us more examples i guess…. 😂😂😂

lemme make a lemonade out of this then!

i will start with this reaction from a passerby because of the hs tag that went on earlier:

There is Cotti downstairs in the company, ever since WYB’s endorsement, there are so many people who buy itevery time. My children also like Dove chocolate.

I saw the hot search today and I was very curious, so I checked 1005. Why can't it be stuck? Isn’t business cooperation normal? Why do fans keep making trouble?

I'm just very curious, so I searched about the product again. WYB and XZ are tied. That’s it! I didn’t know they were in love before!

LOL OMG HAHAHAHAHAAH IM CRYING 🤣🤣🤣 Please!!! If some people just kept quiet then it would be fine. CPFs are such a small group of people that were only commenting on the collab and buying products. So i don’t know what’s the problem. I understand how some fans are sensitive with how WYB is perceived in relation to XZ. and that they don’t want him to appear like he needs XZ to succeed. but aren’t these toxic fans the very people who should know that it isn’t true? both boys are where they are now because of their own merit.

It’s hilarious cause the normal passerby just found out that WYB and XZ are “in love” lol all because of people over reacting.

These are legit brands doing this. CPNs are for CPFs. you know what, sometimes, so/os are so much better at picking up cues like this 😂😂😂😂

THIS SISTER GAVE EXAMPLES OF WHEN WYB ENDORSED BRANDS USED 10:05. cause apparently, XZ owns this number and time.

Redmi (p2) posting at 10:05 for the new year greeting and K70, Lowen (p3) doing the same and setting 10:05 as the time for sales to be opened. I already talked about shu uemura in my old post so better refer to that instead. Chanel (p7) selling perfume and how you can customize it, the example on their website is 肖战. i didn’t even know that happened. lol. i’m such a bad cpf. 😅😅😅

let me expound on p6 cause the photo is too small.

it says WYB got stuck at 10:05 card point 9 times.

so the examples are ariel (bilang), redmi, stride, ping an and then yibo himself. i think the example could the legendary colgate post ( if you know, you know. it’s a big fandom cpn ). and last is richora using 10:05 on their watch. so suspicious lol. must all be connected to XZ! i don’t get it! who is the cpf now??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

here are some more! this time, XZ brands/magazines trying to associate themselves with WYB by using the time 18 ( yibo ) or 08:05 p3 is crest. p4 is kxz and p5 is zhenguoli.

next is this one they dug out for GUCCI. it’s a customized tag. dude. why? do people really think this is a backhanded way from GUCCI trying to tie XZ and WYB? lol. This is obviously a CPF who bought from them and wanted that to be on there because they are a customer! Should GUCCI screen that? make sure every single customer doesn’t associate XZ with others? Make it make sense 🤪🤪🤪

li-ning using a design of someone skateboarding. lol. the brand has had their own street wear and skateboard line for some time now. and then breo japan tagging wyb on their twitter. which is i guess, more of a mistake on whoever their social media person is. they wanted more likes and saw xz and wyb are usually tied together so they added wyb.

lastly, the game xz was promoting before using 85. and then pokemon x dove collab. which is again — makes me go what??? pokemon is such a huge brand that companies love to collab with. as a cpf, i have boundaries when it comes to cpn, i even have disclaimers but i guess solo fans don’t. everything must be related! 👀

i guess there are more examples but these are the ones i have been seeing from so/o fans as proof. of what exactly? i don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ coincidences for a lot of these and not an attempt to associate with someone. i can understand why some brands will do it back in 2019, during cql promos, because it was expected and they were actively promoting a show together.

so what are cpfs doing now? well. supporting cotti ( sample video here ) coffee as fans should and enjoying the unintentional candies the solo fans have prepared for us 😌😌😌

[ravennaortiz]

Hate Me, Love Me: Happy's Story

Alright so the inspiration for this comes from @juicesgf poll about being forced into an arranged marriage with one of the guys from Sons Of Anarchy.

Summary: This particular story is centered around winning Happy over and is told through the readers journal entries mostly and some of her POV and Happys POV. As always my stories are 18+. Happy Reading!

Tag List: @arkytiorlecter, @aimkatsz,@mamawiggers1980, @keyweegirlie, @hatersaremymotivators, @delightfulheroshoeflap

Day 1

Happy had been silent the whole ride from his Ma's house to his. His mind on an endless loop of all the issues this newly found arranged marriage was going to cause him. It could possibly cost both of you your lives. He glanced over at you as you kept your body turned to the passenger side door. While he felt bad for you he couldn't allow himself to offer sympathy or comfort. It would be better if you took off he thought.

While he wouldn't physically hurt you or anything to make you go he sure as hell wouldn't provide you with kindness or anything. It was what was best for both of you. The words his Ma had stated earlier rang through. "She is a sweet girl. You need some softness in your life. Let her in and you will see,". Happy sighed as he pulled into his driveway. Without a word he parked and got out letting the door slam harder than needed before stalking up to his front door and going in.

A few minutes later he sighed as he realized you were still in the vehicle. He moved back to the front door flinging it open as he turned the porch light on. Once you had joined him inside he handed you a note saying he would be back in the next couple of days and too not answer the door. He then grabbed a bag of things and left slamming the door.

Reader

The roar of a motorcycle made you jump slightly. The tears you had been holding back finally poured down your cheeks. You sobbed as you stood alone in an unfamiliar home that belonged to an anything but Happy man. All you wanted was to go back to your normal life.

Day 3

Happy was sulking in one of the dorm rooms at the clubhouse when Juice appeared in the doorway. The whole club was aware of the situation and why he was more angry and grim than normal. There had been some teasing but he had quickly shut that down.

"We should probably get this chick a phone with our numbers programmed into it. Give her a run down of what this life entails ya know." stated Juice as he leaned in the doorway as he watched his friend.

Happy simply shrugged making Juice frown. "If something happens to her" he started before Happy sighed and stood up. "Fine. Follow me to my place" Happy growled as he pushed through the doorway. While he wouldn't admit it out loud, Juice was right.

Reader

He came back today. Brought another guy, Juice, with him who had a mohawk and head tattoos. He was very sweet and actually spoke to me instead of just grunting. I don't think grumpy was very pleased though. Especially not when Juice suggested he bring me to the clubhouse. I had already pieced together he was in an MC of sorts and I get the idea its more than just riding around town for fun.

Grumpy did make me take his bed once he realized I have been sleeping on the couch since he brought me here. I think his frown was more frownier when he realized that.

He seemed to like the dinner I made so I guess I have that going for me. Though he did not seem to appreciate my joke about not killing me yet.

Day 5

Happy was annoyed as he watched Tig and Chibs fawn over you. He had brought you with him today just to see if a taste of club life would have you running for the hills. Much to his disappointment you had taken to it like a fish to water. Hell even Gemma had been going on about how great you were and shit! Then had gotten mad at him when he called you a liability. He figured he would just up the ante when you guys returned to his home tonight.

You were surprised when you got out of the shower that night to find Happy in his bed fast asleep. You swallowed hard as you considered your next move. Well you thought, married couples usually sleep in the same bed.

Day 10

"So your mad, because a beautiful woman is choosing to sleep next to you at night?" inquired Tig as he sat with Happy. "She's too soft" mumbled Happy annoyed that no one seemed to understand why he was so against this whole arranged marriage and you. "Hmm, soft usually feels good when your hard in my opinion" replied Tig with a shrug as Happy rolled his eyes.

Reader

I learned today from Juice about some of Grumpys fave things like his love for homemade blueberry muffins. So I got him to take me to the store and I plan on making them tomorrow. At this point I kinda just want to see if I can make him fall for me. Gemma said he was just stubborn and would come around. Unfortunately for him i'm stubborn too. Pretty sure he hadn't planned on me being down to share a bed nor invade his personal space at night.

Day 16

"Fuck these are good. If you don't want her man I'll take her" moaned Juice as he devoured his fourth muffin. Every day for the last almost week you had sent a basket full of blueberry muffins in with him. "No" snapped Happy getting a raised brow from Juice and Tig. "Does the Tacoma Killer got a hard on for his wife finally?" inquired Tig innocently as he laughed. "Shut up" growled Happy as he sent him a glare.

"I mean I would too if I had that body pres-" started Tig before Happy had him pinned into the wall. "Not another word about her" growled Happy before he let go of Tig and stalked off out of the clubhouse. "Think he might have a feeling" muttered Juice as he and Tig shared a look.

Reader

I think it might be working. I might be cracking this tough cement wall of a man. I guess only thing I need to figure out is if and when he does.....am I going to play hard to get? Seems like turn around is fair play given how the last few weeks has been.

Day 22

Happy was sitting at his kitchen table while you tended to some deep cuts on his face. Too say the two of you had shocked each other tonight was an understatement. Him appearing beaten and bloody in the doorway and you in just his shirt and panties. The quickness and gentleness you had shown to patch him up had his heart aching. He didn't want to admit it but you were growing on him. The last few days on this run he had found his mind straying to you. Wondering what you were doing and missing the feel of your soft body pressed against him at night. he had tried to replace that feeling with a random woman but he hadn't been able to perform at all.

The urge to pull you down on his lap and bury his face in your chest was strong. His finger tips tapped on his legs as he fought the urge. His eyes danced over your face contorted in concentration as you placed sutures. The guys were right. You were gorgeous and he was lucky as far as arranged marriages go. You could be an ogre or something. Would having an Old Lady really be so bad?

Reader

Grumpy came home today hurt. I hated seeing him like that and wanting nothing but to burn this world down to find out who did that to him!

Tonight was also the first time we have touched when not asleep. My skin felt like it was on fire every time out skin connected. Wild how things change.

Day 36

Happy woke up late in the day and was disappointed to find you already gone. Stretching he noted the little notebook on his nightstand. Curiously he picked it up and flipped it open. Frowning at the tear stained first couple of pages as he read what you had written. His fingers kept turning pages even though he knew he shouldn't pry. He couldn't stop though. It was weird to see himself through someone else's eyes. He laughed out loud when he saw your last line from last night

35 days with not a single word....maybe he is a mute? or does not know how to speak to women

Reader

You had dropped your glass of water when you heard a raspy voice behind you. Staring wide eyed you turned to find Happy with what could only be his version of a smile which was just a less stern frown.

"Did you just speak?" you questioned quietly still in shock.

"Yeah, grumpy speaks for the first time" he teased as he walked closer to you. Pushing you back until your back hit the wall.

His hands on your hips had you jumping up to wrap your legs around his waist as his lips found yours. "Mine" Happy growled as he pulled back from you slightly to look into your eyes.

Day 365

Reader

Crazy to think a year ago we were two strangers having our lives turned upside down. Now we are two people madly in love and going to have a little one running around soon.

The End

Return to Series Masterlist

[prepareforspamcalls]

Get Up! I Want To Play!

(Wholesome fic since I finished my work today. So you get a Sophia fic!)

Tags: @myluckymoon @city-of-c0rpses @star-tb

"Come onnnnnn. You can get up." I puffed my cheeks out, watching Xavier sit there on the floor. He was in this own little world, stuffing a soft toy in his mouth from teething. Completely ignoring what I had to say.

I was 5 at the time, sitting on the floor with him and his Godsister, Elora. Elora was 12 at the time, and Xavier was 9 months old. We were on the floor, Elora making light conversation to me or watching Xavier be totally oblivious to his surroundings. Talk about a mellowed out baby. He was always like that before he was 2.

Unfortunately, I can't remember much of this day. It's been so long that most things became a blur to me. What I could mostly remember was being an impatient kid at the time. I was 5, what do you expect? 5 year olds aren't the best at waiting for anything, that included me.

I wanted to play with my baby brother. The only problem is that he didn't know how to walk. Only crawl, but even for crawling, he barely moved around. Once again, very mellowed out baby. Put him in one spot, and he would be content there for a while, the whole day even.

So I would normally sit or roll on the floor near him whenever I was bored. I had nothing else to do, I guess. So why not stare at a baby? Not a single thought behind those eyes.

I roll over to Elora, plopping my head on her lap. "Eloraaaaa. When do babies start walking?" I pout.

Elora looked down at me with a soft smile, a little light chuckle escaping her lips. She pets my hair, giving a sweet answer. "Well when they're around 9 months old, but they fully start walking 10 months or later."

"Well, I hope he starts walking soon, fast. I want to play with him! It's hard to play when you stay in the same spot all day." I huffed and whined. That caused Elora to chuckle more.

"Don't worry dear, I'm sure he will walk one day soon. But you must be patient." She gently sat me up in her lap, cradling my face gently. "Things will come to time when they do. Soon before you know it, he'll not be so small anymore, and he'll be sprinting as well. It takes time, but time is worth it. Try to enjoy you have the time now with him. Trust me, you'll be glad you did."

She gave me a forehead kiss. At the time, I couldn't really understand what she meant. My child mind wasn't used to a concept like that. But I'm glad she did tell me that because in that moment I did try to enjoy my time with Xavier.

Rolling off of her lap, I roll over to him, still chewing on that toy. I look at him, he looks at me with big ol eyes. It was cute.

"Hey." I said to him, attention to make conversation. Though he can't say much at this young of a age. "What you got there?" I asked, referring to the soft toy he been teething on.

There was no answer, but there was a response. He scooted a little, getting into crawling position and coming closer to me. I was a little suprised that he wanted to crawl towards me.

His little hands attempting to grab me. His little legs trying to climb onto me. I couldn't help but smile at the sight. I gently tried to bring him closer, holding him in my lap. It was nice to hold him (impossible to hold him today).

I love over at Elora, who was watching with a smile. I didn't know how else to continue a conversation with a baby, so I sat there. Just holding Xavier.

"Miss Elora." I asked more politely this time instead of whining. "Can you pass me one of the books from that basket over there, please?" I pointed over to a small basket near the fireplace. Inside was a selection of children's books. The Wizard of Oz (Elora liked that one), Cinderella (Lilli always seemed to enjoy this one), and other books inside.

"Of course, which book would you like?" She got up to pick up the basket. Bringing it over, before kneeling down again.

"Alice in Wonderland, please." That was my favorite book, even if it did have bigger words at the time that I couldn't fully understand. Totally wasn't trying to spread the Alice in Wonderland propaganda to him at all. Whaaaat? That would ge totally ridiculous!

Elora handed me the book. I gently took it and opened it to the first page with Xavier still in my lap. I started to read out loud, stumbling on a few words here and there as I read along the pages. Stopping a few times to look at the pictures.

Despite my reading skills being basic at the time, I can't remember when I didn't stop reading that night. I remember waking up in bed the next morning, but that's about it. Elora used to tell me that I read to Xavier before both him and I fell asleep midway through.

Even if I can't remember the memory well, I'm still glad it happened. Even if it's faint or hard to distinguish, it will always be a part of my memory.

[chthonicgodling]

(April’s)Huevember - Day 17!

featuring: Jesse & Sæunn; Epi & Vryk!

[in which I’ve made my very own #Huevember wheel this year (that you can use too! Pls tag me I’d LOVE to see!) - unabridged version continues, including a wide array of Elysium’verse characters across the rainbow!]

Ooo another blue day and it’s!!! …omfg more Lokikids lmfao??? Teehee it’s an un-squidded Sæ making a second appearance wowow background baby is really shining this month!!, her other parent, dad Jesse & of course next to her there’s her half brother Vryk with HIS other parent Epi - NOTES

this is a choose your own context post cause I have no idea what everyone’s gossiping about here lmao. these guys were chosen today bc Sæ and Jesse are this shade of blue basically, and so are Vryk’s extremities - ears, fingies!! and then bonus Epi bc idk I love him!! yay!

I ddont draw Jesse nearly enough as I should aaHHHHH esp cause with [redacted project dwbi] I’ve been so back in time in Elysium to where Jesse was OG main main main character and now he has faded in the distance and I. Oops. But Sæ is his (and also Loki’s!!) youngest daughter so 🥹🥹

Sæ for the record was not a planned baby but it was aaaallllll fineeeeee esp since Loki had literally already had Fjöer, with Laphi - Laphi is Jesse’s very own husband so. lmfao. The couple with matching Loki spawn stays together or something

Epi, imposing daemon god of nightmares next to those two is Eury’s husband (see two days earlier!), favie love of my life foreverrrrrr 💞💞 Carefully cradling 7 yr old son Vryk who is clawing his way up his chest like daemon spawn which. well. he is kinda ffkfk

Vryk - ANOTHER OOPSIE BABY Loki have a planned child challenge - is indeed Epi & Loki’s son through a horrific pregnancy in which Vryk very literally died and. then came back to life. because he is the god of necromancy. this was TRAUMATIZING FOR ALL PARTIES OBVIOUSLY

BUT nowadays he is happy and healthy if not a little colder than normal and he. eats blood and viscera like his darling dad Epi so 🥰 like father like son we looove to see it. ooo he’s climbing!!

day 18 tomorrow and hmm u might be able to guess who’s popping up,,, Jesse, Epi & Vryk all belong to @fenixethekid ! click the link up above to see the whole Huevember wheel - feel free to use the tag AceprilHuevember if u want to play too - and my tag this year can be found here!!

[mychemicalimagines]

Welcome to the Jungle-’Fridge’ Johnson-Chapter 5

Summary: Today was supposed to be a normal day at school for Emily Gilpin. Wake up. Walk to school with her adopted brother, Spencer. Go home. Read. Except what happens when her and four other people, including her brother Spencer, get detention? The day gets a whole lot weirder. Starting with: Getting sucked into a video game.

Warnings: Language, Bullying (Reference to Incent-Solely for Bullying-Not True), Violence, Fluff, Video Game Deaths

Words: 4,610

A/N: We are hoping you guys enjoy this! Comments help me push things out!! To be tagged: Message Me, Comment, Submit an Ask or Tag Yourself In My Bio!

Third Person POV

The group is walking through the crowd in the Bazaar again, but this time Bethany is leading them with the map.

“So keep your eyes peeled for an elephant, I guess? That’s like the next level of the game?” She asks, but stops in her tracks when the sound of motorcycles enter her ears. 

One of the men gets off their bikes and slams someone against the wall. Spencer’s eyes widen and he immediately turns around, running through the crowd of people. One of the NPC’s spots Bethany and calls out, angrily. 

“Hey!” 

“Run!” She calls out before turning around and gently pushes Emily backward into Martha.

“Shit!” Emily screams out before they all start running.

They push through people left and right, trying to get away from what they think are Van Pelt’s men. The crowd around them screams out when being pushed but they don’t pay them any mind. Since Bethany is somehow in front, she tries to warn the three behind her about the fallen baskets blocking their path.

“Jump!” She says, skipping over them before running again.

“Jump!” Martha calls out to the last two.

When Emily tries to jump over it, Fridge pushes her forward causing her to almost fall.

“Go, go, go!” He says, trying to help her.

“I’m trying!” She snaps, running once again. 

Since Spencer ran before any of them, he gets blocked by an equally large, bald man with a long beard. The man smirks at him before Spencer decides to speak.

“I have to warn you...I think I’m a very strong puncher.” 

The man ignores him and throws a punch in his direction. 

“Parry.” He says, moving away from the punch.

He smiles slightly, remembering this is a video game. He played Mortal Kombat this morning and fighting in video games is almost exactly the same. Each punch the man throws at him, he blocks, saying what he would say if he was playing his game.

“Parry. Parry. Evade. Block.” He says, throwing his arm up to stop the punch before smirking. “Uppercut.”

He uppercuts the guy forcing him through the bamboo ceiling above him. The group catches up to him after he defeats a couple more guys using almost the exact same routine.

“Punch. Wall toss!” Spencer says, grabbing the man by the arm and pant leg, throwing him against the wall to their left.

“That is insane.” Bethany says, intrigued by what they just saw. 

Emily rolls her eyes and grabs the bow off her back before running after her brother. She grabs an arrow and shoots it at a man that her brother didn’t see. Another man pops out of nowhere and starts throwing knives, missing Spencer completely. When one is thrown directly at Fridge’s face, Spencer grabs it an inch from contact. 

Fridge gasps loudly and Spencer hands the knife to him.

“Let’s do this.” He says as Fridge takes the knife.

“Do what?” He says, freaked out.

Spencer ignores him and starts walking toward the man. Emily brings her bow up and shoots another man in the chest as her brother dodges a knife slash and slams the man down.

“Put…” Fridge says, holding the knife up to Martha. “Put it in my backpack.”

Martha hands it to Bethany who opens the backpack. For the next several minutes, Spencer is defeating every Van Pelt soldier he can. He throws people through ceilings, through walls and even snaps someone’s neck, grossing the group out. A gunshot is heard causing everyone, the group and NPCs, to stop and look.

The NPCs scream out and run from the area, not wanting to be around Van Pelt. Emily wraps her bow around her again before stepping up to her brother to catch a glimpse at the man who wants to kill them. Fridge, Bethany and Martha step up slowly behind her.

“Hello, doctor.” Van Pelt smirks at the group with his own soldiers behind him. “Been a long time. I believe you have something that belongs to me.”

“We just wanna go home.” Spencer tries to say but the soldiers cock their guns, aiming them at him.

Not even a second later, a smoke grenade is dropped in front of Spencer, filling the area with a black smoke.

“Come on! Come with me! Hurry!” A voice to Emily’s left. 

Spencer pushes her in the direction and the group follows quickly behind them.

“Get him!” Van Pelt snaps, forcing his soldiers to shoot into the black smoke.

The group runs through crowds of people with the mystery man leading them.

“Come on!” He calls out to them.

He makes his way down a hallway before kneeling down on the floor in front of a large grate. 

“Down here.” He says, pulling it up and pushing it to the side. “Come on. Quick!”

One by one, they begin to climb down with the mystery man being last to climb down the ladder. Above them, Van Pelt’s soldiers run over the grate, thinking the group continued down the path. The mystery man jumps down the ladder and takes off his mask revealing a man who couldn’t be more than 25 years old. 

He grabs a match from his pocket. 

“I need you to follow me and do exactly as I say.” He says, lighting a torch. “Let’s move.”

He starts walking down the hallway nearby and the group quickly follows behind him.

“Oh, my God, you guys. I am so stoked you are here.” He says, leading the way. “You have no idea.”

“You are?” Bethany speaks up.

“So stoked. I mean, I saw you guys in the bazaar and I thought to myself, no way! And, I, then I was like, yeah that’s totally.” He says before quickly cutting himself off. “Backs against the wall!”

They quickly listen to him as large spikes fly through the air, barely missing all of them. 

“Oh my goodness!” Martha squeals.

Emily looks down the path to see a skeleton who has already died from the spikes at one point or another. 

“Let’s keep moving.” Mystery man says before continuing down the hall before entering another room. “Watch your step in here.”

“Who are  you?” Martha speaks up since she’s right behind him.

“Yeah, and who do you think we are?” Fridge calls out so the man can hear him.

“Right. Sorry, okay, my bad. Let me backup a little here.”

“Wait, are you the pilot?” Emily asks.

“Seaplane somebody?” Spencer finishes his sister's thoughts.

“Yes! Yeah! That’s me.” He confirms. 

“Wait a minute, wait.” Fridge says, remembering Spencer was going to pick that name in detention. “You’re the other character that was taken. So you’re in the game too?”

Seaplane doesn’t answer but looks down at his feet. 

“Stay off the white bricks. And Freeze.”

“What?” Fridge asks before looking down.

Everyone steps forward or back, depending where the white bricks are and the girls scream out when large blades almost cut them. Everyone’s, except Seaplane, hearts begin to pound hard as they can when the blades fall back down.

“So gnarly.” Seaplane chuckles before walking again. 

“This game sucks.” Fridge comments.

Emily turns around and takes his hand, pulling him with her, knowing if he had the option that he would stay right where he was. Seaplane walks down another path before realizing where he is, he puts his hand up, stopping Martha from going any further. They both look down and he drops the torch into a pit, lighting up alligators before one bites the torch.

Martha gasps loudly, not knowing that is what would be below them.

“Alright. Get this plank.” He says, reaching in front of her to grab a large piece of wood.

He lays it down across the pit before walking across safely.

“Follow me and be careful. It’s a horrible way to die.” He comments before putting his hand out.

“Oh, God.” Martha says before putting a foot on the plank. 

Below her, the alligators begin to roar and jump, trying to bite at her legs. She walks across, taking Seaplane’s hand to make it there in one piece and through the arch into another hallway. 

“There you go.” He smiles before turning to Fridge.

He reluctantly lets go of Emily’s hand and puts one foot on the plank. An alligator jumps up and snaps, causing him to freeze in fear as a million facts start running through his head. 

“Come on.” Seaplane smiles, waving him to the other side of the pit. 

“I got it. I got it.” Fridge says, walking across a little faster. “I just defanged a snake, give me a little respect.”

He makes it to the other end but doesn’t exit through the arch like Martha did. He stands beside Seaplane, making sure Emily makes it across. She looks up and takes in a deep breath before putting her foot on the plank. She takes a few steps before reaching out toward Fridge. He immediately grabs her hand and helps her across. 

“Thanks.” She whispers.

“Anytime.” He smiles softly before walking her over to Martha.

Now, Spencer walks across like nothing is wrong, seeing as his character is fearless, but now it’s Bethany’s turn. When she begins to cross, an alligator jumps up and misses her foot by inches causing her to scream and grab onto Seaplane’s hand, practically jumping into his arms. 

“Hi there.” She says, flirting slightly.

But all Seaplane can see is an older man hitting on him. 

“Hi.” He says before letting her go and walking past the group.

He turns left and opens a gate before pushing through what appears to be a rock wall. Everyone follows behind him and they see they are back in the forest. Emily smiles widely, happy to be out of that booby-trapped place. Seaplane closes the door before locking it and walks toward the group.

“Anyway, I’m Alex.” He introduces himself.

“Spencer Gilpin.” Spencer points to himself before the others. “Martha. My sister, Emily. Fridge and Bethany.”

“Bethany?” Alex says, shocked. “You’re a girl?”

“Woman.” Bethany smiles and puts her hand on her hip.

“In real life, you’d probably want to hit that.” Fridge comments, pointing to her. 

Bethany smacks his arm with the back of her hand before smirking at Alex, knowing Fridge is probably right.

Alex led the group back to his hideout which happens to be a bungalow type in the middle of the forest. They are all hanging out in different areas. Martha and Spencer are sitting on a raised platform near the counter Alex was working on. Bethany is looking around the bungalow while Emily sits in a wooden lounge chair with Fridge sitting on the arm of it.

“What are you making?” Spencer asks, watching as their new friend turns off a blender.

“Margaritas.” He answers with a smile as he pours the alcoholic drink into different cups. “It’s actually one of my strengths. That and piloting, although I did get shot down by a couple orangutans in fighter jets so…maybe not that great at it. Anyway! Cheers.”

He passes out the cups to everyone, Fridge being the only one to immediately take a drink.

“Thanks.” Spencer says, taking his cup. 

“Sure.” Martha says before looking at it. “I’ve never had alcohol before.”

“Me neither.” He says, staring at the yellowish liquid. 

“You know what? What the hell?” She smiles.

They both take a drink before immediately spitting it back into their respective cups. 

“And I’m done with that.” She says, putting the cup down on the table in front of her.

“It’s good.” Spencer lies, putting his own cup down.

“Are you gonna finish that?” Fridge asks Emily, noticing that she hasn’t taken a sip of hers.

“Nope.” She answers, holding out her cup.

He happily takes it and pours the liquid into his cup, putting hers on the table.

“Alex?” Bethany speaks up, causing him to turn around. “What’s up with all these candles?”

“Citronella. One of my weaknesses is mosquitoes which…is kind of a bummer when you live alone in an open hut in the jungle.” He says, rushing out the last part.

She giggles slightly before turning her head away, whispering to herself. 

“He’s single.”

Fridge, who has gotten up to look around, speaks up again but this time to Alex.

“Who’s this?” He gestures to a carving on the banister. “Who’s Alan Parrish?”

“The guy who built this place.”

“Wait, other people have been stuck here too?” Emily asks, leaning forward in her lounge chair.

“Yeah.” He nods with a shrug. “This is Alan Parrish’s house. I’m just living in it.”

“So, Alex, tell me.” Bethany says, taking off her hat to run her fingers through her hair. “How long have you been in the game?”

“Oh, it’s tough to say.” He glances at everyone. “Time is kind of funny here. But, a few months, at least.”

“A few months?” Martha says, her eyes widening.

“Yeah, I just can’t see to make it past the transportation shed.” He leans against the counter.

“Transportation shed?” Spencer raises an eyebrow. “What’s that?”

“It’s the next level. First time, my hot-air balloon wouldn’t even take off. And then there was the whole plane thing I mentioned.” He then holds out his wrist to show his one black line. “And once I got down to my last life…I realized I was screwed. And that I was never gonna get out of here by myself. Half the stuff that came at me. I had zero way to deal with. You can’t kill a black mamba with a margarita.”

“You sure can’t.” Fridge says, putting his hand on Emily’s shoulder. “You need a zoologist for that.”

“Alex, we can help each other.” Spencer says, standing from his seat. “You’ve been here a long time, you know the game and, between us, we have a lot of strengths.”

“Yeah.” Martha smiles softly. “We’re actually pretty good together.”

“I don’t know, bro. Okay. I mess up one more time, I’m toast.” Alex sighs. “Totally freaks me out even thinking about going back to the transportation shed. I don’t wanna die in Jumanji.”

“We just gotta stick together. If we do that, we can win. I know we can.” Spencer says, trying even harder.

“Oh my god.” Emily looks up, eyes wide. “You’re our missing piece. You were the thing we needed to find.”

“So the clue was to, what, go to the bazaar to find the missing piece…” Martha says softly before looking at Alex. “It wasn’t the elephant.”

“It was me.” He says, smiling softly. 

“Yeah.” Bethany smiles.

“Dudes.” He says, standing up. “Let’s do this.”

“Yeah. Let’s do this.” is echoed around until Fridge steps forward.

“Hey, Spencer, you gonna drink that margarita?” 

“No…” He says, but Emily shakes her head.

“Fridge, you’re not having anymore.”

“But, Emily,” He whines slightly but she takes his cup from his hand.

“Nope. You’re cut off. We have stuff to do.” 

He sighs loudly before nodding. Alex leans toward Bethany, watching the small scene.

“Are they a couple or something? Do they do this often?” He whispers as Fridge sneaks around his friend to grab Spencer’s glass anyway.

“Nope. Fridge likes her, but I have no idea if she likes him yet, but I think she does.” She answers softly, watching the ‘couple’ as she shakes her head at the dark skinned man who is now chugging the alcoholic drink. “In the video game, their characters are together.”

“I do remember one of the NPCs saying that.” He nods softly.

 The group of six walk through the trees with Alex leading them to the cliff overlooking a huge field with trees and bushes. In the middle of the field is a large wooden building with a small tent in front of it. Two NPCs stand under the tent, holding two large guns. The group is too far back for the two men to be able to see them but they still hide behind bushes and pieces of broken down tree.

“There it is. The transportation shed. There’s all sorts of vehicles inside. We gotta get one, get across the canyon and get to the Jaguar statue.”  Alex explains, watching the shed.

Fridge pulls out a pair of binoculars and looks at the two guys, standing under the canvas.

“Okay, I see the transportation shed.” Bethany says, looking at the map now. “I see the canyon but I still can’t see the statue which is weird ‘cause it’s like the most important thing in Jumanji and it’s huge.”

“That’s what she said.” Fridge says, lowering the binoculars before laughing out loud.

“You drunk, Fridge?” Emily asks, raising an eyebrow.

“What are you talking about?” He looks at her. “I ain’t drunk.”

“He is drunk.” Martha glances over at them. 

“I had three little margaritas.” He rolls his eyes.

“Well, you’re about half your usual size.” Emily smirks at him. 

“Whatever. Whatever.” He glares at her slightly but it softens when she smiles at him.

“Okay, Alex, what do we do here?” Spencer speaks up, cutting off their conversation. “How do we get past these guards?”

“Last time, I waited till they left.” He says, watching the shed.

“How long did that take?” 

“Three weeks?”

“Oh, we gonna die.” Fridge says, whining as he pushes his hat up slightly.

“Okay…Plan B.”

“Maybe there’s another door somewhere. But we gotta distract those guys first.” Alex says, looking toward the group.

“I’ve got it.” Bethany grins, gesturing toward Spencer then herself. “Distracting guys is, like, the main thing I do. He plays video games, I distract guys.”

“Uh, Bethany, I hate to break it to you right now but you don’t exactly have the…” Fridge pauses, thinking of the right words. “The tool kit.”

“Not me.” She shakes her head before gesturing toward Emily and Martha. “them!”

“What?” They say in sync, confused on this part of the plan. 

“You guys have to go down there and flirt with those guys…” Bethany starts, but Martha crosses her arms, ready to cut her off.

Suddenly, a large pain shoots through Emily and Fridge’s chests, causing them both to gasp loudly. Everyone turns to them, watching as they grab at their hearts as if they were having heart attacks. 

“What’s going on?” Bethany asks, looking toward Spencer.

He jumps up from his spot on the ground and kneels down in front of his sister.

“Em? Are you okay?” 

“Tell her to take it back.” She whispers, grabbing at his - as well as Fridge’s - arms.

Fridge grabs at hers, gasping in pain as he maneuvers to his knees, hoping it would stop the pain. 

“Bethany! Take it back!” Fridge groans as he squeezes his crush’s hand.

“Take what back?” She asks, throwing her hands out. “I don’t have anything.”

“No! What you said about Emily! Take it back!” Spencer almost snaps, realizing what happened. 

“Okay! Ummm, Martha, you distract them while Emily waits here!”

Almost immediately the pain stops causing the ‘couple’ to sigh and fall back against the fallen tree, panting from barely breathing through the pain.   

“What just happened?” Alex raises an eyebrow, glancing between them.

“I think since their characters are dating…” Spencer starts, squeezing his sister's arm slightly. “The thought of her flirting with someone else caused them immense pain.” 

“When…When Fridge died at the Bazaar, I felt a pain in my chest then too.” Emily admits, glancing toward Fridge whose eyes soften slightly.

He squeezes her hand softly, saddened by the thought that because of a bite of cake, he caused her pain. It must not have been as bad as what they just endured because she didn’t bring it up earlier, but it still saddens him that he made her feel even just a small amount of pain.

“I-I’m sorry!” Bethany says, putting her hands on her manly chest. “I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay.” She says, looking up at her as she squeezes Fridge’s hand. “Just…No more.”

“Okay, no making Emily or Fridge cheat on each other.” Spencer says, biting his lip to hide his laughter. “And, yes. Flirting counts as cheating. According to the game.”

She playfully smacks her brother’s arm before looking back up at the girls. 

“Back to your plan, what was it before we almost had heart attacks?” She says, wanting the conversation to shift. 

“Oh!” Bethany says, turning around to look at Martha. “You have to go down there and flirt with those guys and hold their attention while we sneak in.”

“No!” The red-head crosses her arms. “I can’t just go over there and flirt with some weird soldiers I don’t even know.”

“I know, girl but right now we don’t have a better idea. Emily can’t do it so you’re our last hope.”

“You don’t understand…” She says before lowering her voice, forcing Bethany to step toward her. “I actually can’t do it. I can’t talk to guys. I’m terrible at it.”

“I can give you some pointers.”

“No, I’m sorry. We-We have to come up with another plan. I’m not…No.” She shakes her head and walks away from the group slightly. 

Spencer stands up from his spot in front of his sister to walk over to her. Fridge stands up from his spot on the ground before helping Emily stand since their hands are still connected. Bethany pats her arm before walking to stand beside Alex, who is still slightly confused by what happened but they all watch the shy kids talk.

“Martha, you just have to distract them long enough for us to get to the shed.” Spencer says, trying to talk her into the plan. 

“I really don’t think I can Spencer, I’m not…” Martha sighs. “Like, I’m not actually some badass girl.”

“What are you talking about?” He raises an eyebrow. “You’re a total badass. You could do anything.”

She blushes and looks up at him, causing him to smile widely. They both chuckle before looking down slightly, realizing how close they were. 

“That’s beautiful, Spencer.” Fridge whispers to capture their attention.

They look up to see Fridge and Emily still holding hands, but closer to them than they were before with Alex and Bethany watching in the background.

“Why don’t I just go ahead and set you guys up with a nice candlelight dinner.” Fridge continues, but in his normal voice. “Or do you guys wanna get the hell out of here?”

“Alright.” Martha says, determination in her voice. “Show me how it’s done.”

“Class is in session.” Bethany says, walking over toward her. “Come on, girl. Watch and learn.”

Together, they walk into the trees, far enough away that they can have their ‘class’ but close enough that they can hear if the others needed help. Fridge and Emily walk back over to the fallen down tree before they let each other's hands go. He feels his face become warmer from their exchange but he quickly brings up his binoculars to hide the pink tint on his cheeks. 

Spencer smiles at the two girls as they walk through the trees before he rushes over to his sister and old friend. 

“Hey, what did you mean by that candlelight-dinner thing?” He asks, lowering his voice so Martha can’t hear him. 

“What?” Fridge raises an eyebrow. 

“You said it, me and Martha, candlelight dinner. What does that even mean?” He asks again. 

“The girl was into you, Spencer.” He says, as if it was obvious.

“What?!” Spencer says, his voice booming before he falls to his butt in shock.

Emily immediately sits up and looks over the log to see the two soldiers still walking around, having not heard him. Fridge shakes his head and stands up from his spot before holding his hand out to help her up. She raises an eyebrow and takes it, allowing him to take her to another part of the area.

“Everything okay?” She asks when they’re far enough away. 

“Yeah…” He says, rubbing the back of his neck with the hand that’s not holding hers. “I was just…I was just wondering if you were okay? After what happened?”

“Oh! Yeah, I’m fine now.” She says, dropping his hand in embarrassment before crossing her own. 

“Did it…Did it feel like that in the Bazaar?” He asks, looking up at her slightly, despite their height difference to be barely an inch. 

“Um, not as bad. It was like a sharp pain more than anything.” She shrugs.

Trying to lighten the mood, Fridge chuckles, saying, “Told you you can’t get rid of me.”

She laughs and playfully smacks at his arm. “Shut up.”

They both burst into laughter for a few seconds before slowing down. After a moment, he smiles softly.

“I’m sorry that happened.” 

“It’s okay, Fridge.” She shrugs with her own smile.

“You used to call me Anthony. Hell, you were the only one to call me Anthony.” He says, biting the inside of his lip. “Why did you start calling me Fridge?”

She looks away slightly before admitting, “You stopped being friends with me and Spencer so I started treating you as if you weren’t my friend, hence being called Fridge.”

“I liked it when you called me Anthony.” He whispers slightly before looking at her.

“You did?” She raises an eyebrow. “I thought it was against your ‘cool, football guy’ persona.”

“Well, around you, I was different. I wasn’t Fridge, the football guy. I was Anthony, the guy that snuck out so we could watch the stars at 14 years old.” He shrugs. 

“R-really?”

“Yeah.” He smiles slightly. “I was able to be myself with you.”

Emily licks her bottom lip and bites it softly. She remembers exactly what happened that night. That was the same night they both had their first kiss. They never spoke about it again which made them both think that the other wasn’t interested, which is why they never actually started dating before he became the ‘football star’. 

Fridge’s heart starts pounding as he looks at her, realizing how close they had gotten. He bites the inside of his cheek before looking into her eyes. Before they can lean closer, Spencer rushes over and stands next to his sister, but in front of his old friend. 

“Do you really think she likes me?”

The ‘couple’ jumps apart and looks up at him. Fridge sighs, slightly angry he ruined their moment. 

“Why are we still talking about this?”

“I mean, what if she tries to kiss me?” Spencer continues, ignoring his question.

“That’s what I was trying to do.” He mumbles, causing Emily to blush at his words but his old friend doesn’t catch it. 

“What?”

“Then you just kiss her back, man.” He says a little louder with a soft sigh.

“What if she tries to kiss me, like…like…Like, without warning?” He asks, glancing toward the girls who are still in the middle of their ‘flirting class’. 

“What are you talking about?” Emily tilts her head, slightly confused. 

Fridge raises an eyebrow. “Have you ever kissed anyone?”

“Don’t…You gonna tell the whole jungle?” Spencer says, loudly as he throws out his arms. 

Emily’s eyes widen, hearing her brother's unspoken admittance. She admitted to him, when they were younger, that she had her first kiss, but she never told him who, so he knew she had hers but she never thought that he wouldn’t have had his. 

“Hey, guys.” Alex says, running up to them. “Guys, I found a side door! Over here.”

“Guess what I found.” Fridge says with a smirk as he grabs Emily’s hand to pull her along with them. 

“No, no, no!” Spencer says, following them. “Don’t tell him!”

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Hi! I hope it is not too weird to ask, but I am really trying to understand - I totally get that it is not ok to post something private about Pedro himself and treat disrespectfully him and his private life, call him daddy and seek for his reaction to it.

Although, I've seen people here that say the same but also post fanfiction/gif posts where Pedro characters can be called daddy and/or lot of thirsting takes place. You write fics yourself. I mean, is it different because Pedro boys are fictional characters and the whole point of fic is to be fictional story we'd like to imagine? It's still Pedro impersonating them and people thirst over Pedro's appearance and etc, not somebody else's, while reading those. It's unavoidable to imagine him there, playing the character.

Again, I'm not trying to insult you, in fact I actually love your writing) it's more like I question my morals, as I love Pedro for being sunshine and pretty man who brings joy, but I do love smutty fics with Pedro boys. Many people do, as I see. So I started to think about morality in this. I don't like to read fics about Pedro being a real person, it feels intrusive/disrespectful/inappropriate, as if trying to guess what's he like in bed. Just no.

Sorry for long read, but I am really curious what do you think. Have a nice day✨

Hi!

I will try to answer this the best I can. I have a weird english day today (this morning i thanked someone for his injury instead of his inquiry in a work email and I've been trying not to carve my own eyes out ever since)

I have thought a lot about morals in the last years, it's a big factor of why i stopped writing RPF (let me tell you, meeting the actual person you wrote smut about is the weirdest fucking thing ever).

I feel like in the last years the line between what is normal (boundaries!) and what is not got very blurred? It seems to me that people have no filter, get very invasive and just shout out everything into the void that has become the internet. (and media is not helping with that either)

Like I wrote in the tags earlier today the thing some years back with people finding it totally normal to share the private address of Keanu Reeves to a point that people just showed up at his house (seriously, what is wrong with people?)

There seems to be no boundaries anymore and I hope it never gets to that point with Pedro. Part of me is relieved he has no twitter anymore cause holy crap the things that must be happening over there...

I only see what happens in reblogs. I'm not on tiktok. I only follow like 60 people on here. My instagram is even more dead. And I am glad about it lol

The only place where I really "thirst" is on discord and that's more or less private. To me it's a difference if I say things in private or post them online for everyone (and the media) to see.

And with fanfiction...

Yes you could argue that writing smut about an actor's character is sexualizing the person itself too. But personally I don't think of Pedro as a person at all when I write or read about his characters. I think about what he brought to the character. Yes, they might share his face, but everything else is fiction. Does that make sense? In my head it does.

The last thing I would want from Pedro is to do anything I wrote with his characters about. I would take him out to eat a cupcake and then gift him a spa day so that he can get a massage for his back and after that a good night of sleep. It's really werid if you think about it. His characters could probably have me on my knees with a snap of their finger but Pedro would not get more than a hug lol

Pedro is just the newest person to be hyped on the internet (and with that always comes an influx of people) and after S3 of the Mandalorian things will die down again (mark my words) but i am genuienly concerned for where this will be going in the meantime

[rohan-kishibes-grindr-account]

i don’t wanna be cringe and vaguely vent on main but todays just been so aggravating- my dad not taking anything fucking serious me having to make analogies and hypothetical comparisons about my physical body being graphically harmed for him to feel empathy other than “oh yeah i guess that stuff is bad. but doesn—“ shut up hoe. he’s no biden worshipper by far but isn’t being smart rn and acting like there’s nO wAy hE cAn hAnDlE tHingS bEtTer and whatnot- And with general stuff i know his mental health isn’t the greatest (at least he stopped screaming in the middle of the night after drinking a little) but he just has become more increasingly passive aggressively rude to my mom- but when i bring up instances when he’s been rude to me to her she basically tells me to bear it ig. But i’ve been less passive as of recent when shit happens but idk. but back to taking about me, him, and Palestine— it’s just so fucking frustrating cuz on top of everything YOU ARE A PUERTO RICAN!!! A BORICUA!!! SOMEONE WHOS LAND IS CURRENTLY BEING WRONGFULLY OWNED AND OPERATED ON! OUR PPL ON THE ISLAND CANT VOTE FOR PRESIDENT AND YOU KNOW THAAAATT!! YET SOMEHOW YOU OF ALL PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY AS USELESS AS THE AVERAGE SLIGHT LEFT AMERICAN ON THIS CONFLICT???? you used to actually talk to me about freedom and our people’s historically revolutionary hero’s, i used to think you thought like a revolutionary but i guess not, i thought you were smart- i hate your job too i hate so much i can’t even be coherent i don’t wanna hate i dont. i wish you and mom didn’t take away my life and will and implicitly lock me up for a year and a half so i could’ve had less struggle adjusting with the real world after developing the worst reclusive habits and other shit . i love my parents so much but i don’t think anything will be the same since the old times where i’d beg you to be out of that intensive study scam school that made me very physically sedentary (and gave me a vitamin d deficiency cause i rarely had time to leave the house) every fucking day and the only thing that changed your mind was not your child’s suffering but some psychiatrist you’ve seen twice telling you that it just MIGHT be beneficial to let me be normal. i don’t care if i’m overdramatizing i don’t know how i can explain this experience and it’s impacts on me in a way that’s normal or not trauma dumpy. I wish this post wasn’t all over the place and didn’t spiral out to get this personal so i won’t actually tag with Palestine related things but don’t forget ur daily clicks if you do see this vvv

[moth-in-the-moon]

so we state how we got there then ask our question/share an opinion...?

okay i came here because i was actively checking for tags, any tags, that mentioned Margali Szardos by name (it's a cycle : i get obsessed by this same niche character at the same period every year but it's my first try on tumblr). your blog was like a lighthouse in this ocean of indifference so here i am

now my ask is, have you read strange academy by any chance ? cuz i feel like Margali would have been a perfect fit for that universe and setting instead of Legion of X. they have every magic user from Wanda to Illyana teaching there and helping out all kinds of magical children so Margali would have been right at home with new students and colleagues. hell you could have a subplot of Margali mentoring another Winding Way user and actually give more lore on that kind of magic. they also had evil magic users from other dimensions show up as well as Dormammu. just lots of potential for fanon works and a personal favourite read of mine

now for an opinion, i hate nightcrawler's new backstory. i genuinely do. firstly because the writer acts like his origins matter way more than they actually do (Kurt is +35 rn not a young adult or teen and literally never cared about that aspect after he heard the first few versions) and secondly because this truth reads like a blatant lie and slap to the face after everything that's ever happened to him in a "he never had any free will in his life actually since this moment was gonna happen regardless of what he did since Mystique and Destiny wanted and predicted it since he was born otherwise they would have intervened". the outcome and interactions following the reveal makes me think Mystique isn't the only one here with memory issues from the way Nightcrawler acts in this situation (Krakoa's chronic brain damage i guess). i think these origins would have worked way better for Rogue (it makes perfect sense for her really) and felt less like a spit to everything Nightcrawler went through in his life and with Mystique... and now Destiny... and Azazel too because these two threw him into Kurt's life for lolz basically : Nightcrawler gave up his soul because he needed to keep Azazel out of heaven since red guy used their biological blood ties and soul properties to get there and play captain hook but now ? now you're stuck wondering how that thing even worked back then since it's still being brought up by Azazel in dark xmen now

Sir (genderneutral for the bit), this is a dennys.

I'm not a rant blog for opinions two people just saw me and agreed with my takes and that temporarily turned me into one today dsfgdfgdfg All I am is a dude who likes comics and specifically nightcrawler a Normal Human Amount (lying) But yes! I know strange academy and I actually quite like it. I still gotta get the series to read it fully but I love the concept and uh. Very funny of you to bring that up cause in the last little rant ask that I got, I noted in the tags that I think she would be an interesting teacher for the school. In general, I think margali should get a series for herself, she's super interesting with alot of lore behind her (being stronger than old comics stephen strange at one point, knowing wanda from when she was a child, possibly being a three time sorcerer supreme (earth, winding way, possibly limbo at one point), having powers that depend on a living dimension etc) Also I just want to know more about her past, she was supposetly born in france, so like, how did that effect her? did she grow up there for a while? How did she get into magic? (I am ignoring mother righteous i am ignoring mother righteous I AM IGNORING MOTHER RIGHTEO-)

I already talked about my takes on the whole. bio-parent thing in these Lovely Posts if you care for my opinion, but yeah no, its messy. Though, again there might be a. thing they did if I understood the comics wording right where Kurt is kinda the result of Raven using the Baron and Azazel as blue prints for having the kid?? So in theory, biologically he's christians, azazels, ravens and irenes kid (though raven also notes "countless others" so. infanite bioparents glitch kurt lets fucking gooo) But I might've missunderstood the panels and the idea that they made kurt just have. all the bio-parents was too much of a absolutely gorgeous idea to not take it like that.

Either way another one on the pile of "writers love pulling the stupitest shit with kurt specifically"

remember when he had a daughter in a new reality that he forcefully forgot because he didnt want to break the rules of the new reality because people loved him, and then he realized that he should care for his daughter and promised her to finally be there for her, only for that really to be deleted. that reality was like a bubble thing. that daughter was flesh and bone. they never talk about it but he lost a child he just got back. (age of x-man, 2019) I rember. I think of it alot.

[writersfearofrecognition]

Ignorance is bliss

Summary: Jacob and his childhood best friend slowly realise their feelings while trying to survive the quarry.

Pairing: Jacob Custos x nameless/female!OC

Warnings: jealousy, cringe dialogue, miscommunication trope, pure ignorance

TW: none i think (i hope, please tell me if there are i will gladly tag them)

A/N: i'm just not gonna say anything lol ._.

Chapter 3:

Something shakes my shoulder.

i open my eyes and look right into Dylan’s.

„wha-?“ „the announcement.“ „Oh.“ i jump up and down my bed, still in my pyjamas, an old football shirt and shorts, and walk after him into the radio station. he’s already dressed completely and freshly showered, i can smell his body wash.

„damn. technical.“ is the first thing that falls out of my mouth when we walk inside the radio hut. „yeah. kinda my…hobby.“ „cool. suits you.“

he laughs while sitting down and setting everything up.

„i guess.“

„more confidence man.“

he shakes his head smiling and gives me the microphone.

„your turn.“

i sigh and think for a second before pushing down on the activation button.

„Good morning campers and counsellors, especially Kaitlyn, who does not need her beauty sleep since she is already beautiful inside and out! today is going to be our last night together and that means…“

i give the mic to Dylan and he rattles down the program with his usual wit.

„now we will all get dressed and ready to eat the wonderful breakfast made by non other than Nicolas the frivolous.“

my laugh could be heard through the speakers and Dylan finishes his announcement with his typical greeting.

when we walk out the door, we were swarmed with children immediately.

„alright guys, who makes it to Nick first, gets the best cooked egg!“ Dylan yells and runs away, kids in tow.

i walk back to my cabin but Jacob already sits at our steps. „hey.“

„hi.“ he jumps up, „do you- do you want to help me today? since you have no activities?“

i hum while walking up the stairs and jump out of Emma’s and Abigail’s way, who scatter to the showers.

„…sure. if i don’t land on your shoulder again. i think i’ll actually puke.“

„oh- i’m sorry. i-.“

„it’s okay Jake,“ i laugh and get on my bra away from him and then take off my sleeping shirt and put on a new one.

„yeah Jake.“ Kait mocks and he groans, she emerges from behind our bunkbed with crazy hair, but surprisingly refreshed.

„Don’t you have to search for a brooding, sexy Ryan?“ Jacob retorts and i giggle at Kait’s expression.

„you can be glad i won’t expose you,“ she points at Jacob who suddenly frowns, „yet.“ she looks at us one last time before walking out. searching for Ryan i assume.

„what was that?“ i ask while putting on my normal boots, my hiking boots could thankfully be abandoned until further notice.

„her usual threats.“ Jacob mutters and resorts his hair under his cap.

„no…those sound different…and you usually not scared of them.“

he laughs awkwardly and shrugs, „well, maybe she’s getting to me for once.“

„hmmm.“ he doesn’t meet my eyes, „isn’t Sunday usually Emma-Day?“ i ask innocently, trying to pry if he got to a conclusion yet.

„well she’s not interested anymore. and me neither. i’m…“ he looks at me with his mouth open, either he doesn’t know what to say, or he encountered a math problem, but right now most likely he doesn’t know what to say.

i laugh and push up his chin.

„don’t want you catching flies.“

he smiles down at me and doesn’t make a move to let me pass him as he stands between the two bunkbeds effectively blocking my way.

„jakey…poo…“ his eyes darken, „we need to get going if i’m going to help you. and your wardrobe body is blocking my way.“

„wardrobe body?“ he asks, smirking.

„yeah, cause you’re fucking thick.“ i say in a deeper tone, imitating the catch phrase of our friend Mark from home, and squeeze past him, getting my water bottle before walking out of the cabin. he stumbles after me.

„if i remember correctly-.“

„Jacob, i’m really hungry, can we go? my description of your body isn’t more important than basic human rights is it?“

„well…“

i groan and grab his wrist, dragging him to the lodge.

we pass the tree and i spot something that makes me double over with laughter.

„what the-.“ Jacob says and walks closer.

„Emma + Jacob for summer… well. those kids are ruthless aren’t they?“

„yeah….we didn’t do that by the way. like the first thing.“

„sure Jakey…“ i walk on, breakfast on my mind.

„it’s the truth!“ „what? that your first romance died tragically?!“ „you’re horrible when you’re hungry!“

i hum and he catches up to me, his hand sneaking into mine again. „do i still have to drag you?“

„yes.“

„jacob…“

„no, i’ll drag you.“ his mind visibly got a light bulb over his head and he ran with me in tow.

„alright, kids, since it’s our last day,“ Jacob makes himself tall and gathers the kids around him on the sport field, „and since i promised you,“ the kids cheer because they know what was coming, „we’re going to play one game of football. only one. for all the marbles. win or lose.“

he points at me sitting at the sideline, also surrounded by kids who were too scared to play, „we have our referee.“ i blow the whistle he had hung around my neck after breakfast, „and the cheerleaders.“ the other kids started clapping.

„did you know our referee used to be a cheerleader too?“ the kids shake their head and look at me.

„only for 2 years, senior year i needed to focus on school,“ i yell from the side line.

„she cheered me on every game.“ he makes his little swinging dance again and the kids giggle.

pure exaggeration from his side.

„alright kids, but i have another surprise for you…because it would be just a little unfair for you to play against me, i’m going to be your coach, but.“ he raises his finger, „you will play against the most inexperienced and clumsiest people in this camp. the other counsellors.“

i laugh out loudly when my coworkers and my boss come on the field. the kids get overly excited and start jumping around.

Jacob explained some different rules, since there were less players on the counsellor team but i was too busy with laughing at Kaitlyn who was most definitely not willingly here. Mr. H. probably forced them all and Jacob got me as a referee because i was a fair judge. 

Jacob put his players on the field and it started, Mr. H. was the leader of the counsellor team but the kids had the upper hand for most of the game.

some time before the last break, Jacob wanders over to me with his hands behind his back, totally relaxed and totally up to something.

„miss Referee.“ he starts and the kids around me started giggling.

„yes, Mister Custos?“ i give him a side eye and saw how wide his grin was.

„what do you need?“

„if i wanted you to…look away for some…accidents, how much would that cost me?“

the kids gasp and i raise my eyebrows at him.

„mister Custos, you are a renowned Coach, are you trying to bribe me?“

„no, no, i would never.“ he raises his hands in defence and watches the game for a second. „i wouldn’t call it bribery…more a favour.“

„mhm?“

„but (Y/N)!“ a kid starts but i turn to them and whisper with the kids, „if someone tries to bribe you, you have to listen to the conditions first…who knows what he wants to give me.“

„maybe a kiss!“ one of the kids said and i laugh awkwardly.

„Mister Custos, do you want to kiss Miss (L/N)?“

„eh. that is very unprofessional to ask a world famous football coach.“ i state and stake my head smiling, while Jacob is visibly sweating behind me, the kids giggling even more at him.

„but what was your favour, mister Custos?“ i turn back to him and notice how stressed he looks.

„are you okay?“ i ask truthfully and he nods.

„yeah, eh, the favour…well you could choose.“

„hmmm. team what do we say? one foul for a favour from the wardrobe man?“

the kids giggle at the nickname i had given him today, but most of them agree and the referee is a democracy so i accept.

„One foul play, for one favour.“

„and what would the favour be?“

„we will let you know.“

the kids giggle and Jacob walks away with a thoughtful expression.

it was cute to see him do or watch sports; he was totally in his element.

most assume he was just a stupid jock but he hadn’t been the football captain for nothing. he was smart, he knew how to strategize and was able to make quick decisions, everything needed for a player.

no wonder he’s the one that got the sports scholarship.

i watch him for a while, how he analysed the game he had won the second he put the counsellors on the field.

then he looks over to me and gives me a smile.

and i feel something i had never felt before.

butterflies.

my cheeks start to burn and of course one of my employees immediately notices.

„Did you just get red from Jacob’s smile?!“ „it's mister Custos, and no. i would never. i’m a professional referee, i don’t have the time for crushes during work.“ i state and shake my head, almost offended but the kids laugh and one of them runs to Jacob.

fuck.

now i actually regret agreeing to be referee.

it was better to get killed by kids than get my childhood friend to notice that i, might, a little, well, fuck, that i like him…well…i don’t even know since when. i never saw him as family or anything, there was always the possibility for love…but something’s different right now. maybe because i saw him with someone else?

my eyes switch to Emma who tragically dying to two kids at the moment but jumps up at the last second to evade them and runs off with the ball.

maybe.

maybe i’m just sick.

yeah.

maybe a mosquito bit me and i got some weird illness from it.

yes….yes.

i look at Jacob again and he’s talking to the traitorous kid, the second my eyes are on him, he looks at me and smiles again, a tiny smile. maybe that kid got distracted and is telling him something completely different.

let’s hope for that.

but then his eyes grew bigger and his smile as well.

oh no.

i turn away quickly, right on time for the last break.

the kids run to the water stations and i run with them.

i could hear Jacob jog behind me, but i’m so not ready for that conversation with him, so i get to the first person i thought could hold him off.

Nick. „hey there.“ he said out of breath and i smile at him.

„how many bruises are there?“

he dries his face with his shirt and exposes his abs in the process, „i don’t know. too many. packing will hurt.“

i laugh and hear someone huff behind me.

when we both turn to the water station Jacob has his shirt off and holding it under the cold stream, his eyes are painfully focused on the shirt.

„is he…“

„okay? i don’t know.“ Kaitlyn finishes Nick’s question and takes my still almost full water bottle from my hand and drinks it empty.

„hey-.“

„you cheated and got referee. somehow.“ she huffs and crouches down, completely out of breath.

fair point. but that means i need to fill it up…right where a Testosterone pumped Jakey is waiting.

he was wringing his shirt out when i finally found my confidence again.

i fill up my water bottle silently while he splashes his own body with water.

he’s angry, silent Jacob is angry Jacob.

„Jacob-.“

„i have to coach.“ he says and walks off.

i sigh and Emma appears next to me. „trouble?“ „some kid told him i was blushing because of him, i got embarrassed, hid by Nick and now he’s mad.“

Emma hums and purses her lips. „He’ll get over it.“

„sure.“

but not without a fight.

i sit back down on my spot and watch the game, not really needing to interfere, the kids are obviously in the lead so the counsellors take it easy.

until Jacob switches himself in…

„huh?“ said the kids around me and i shrugs, not really stressed. if he’s on the field he can’t confront me.

„maybe to show them how it’s really done.“

he was playing fair…until he meets Nick on the field.

Jacob doesn’t even have the ball, but he runs towards Nick anyways.

he rams him through the air and i blow my whistle, standing up from shock that he would be this brutal.

„one foul you said.“ he yells from the end of the field and i huff, stemming my hands in my hips.

my feet move before my mind catches up and i storm towards them.

Nick is already standing again and walks in my way to make me stop. „it’s alright, nothing happened,“ he smiles and rolls his shoulders, „i egged him on earlier.“ „still. it’s childish.“ Kaitlyn mutters, already on a fresh trail towards understanding what was going on between me, Nick and Jacob.

i open my mouth and close it again when Jacob passes Nick again and pushes him again. „Dude!“ i shout and grab his wrist, he looks down at me with a hurt expression, not an angry one. 

„what’s wrong?“

„nothing.“

„jake…“

Mr. H. clears the situation before i could talk on and he looks at his watch before ordering the kids around.

„alright kids, the game is over, you clearly won, the prize is another hour of playtime at the cabins. come on, let’s go.“ he ushers the kids and other counsellors out but points at me, Nick and Jacob to stay with angry eyes.

i gulp and give Jacob an annoyed look which just made him shrug while Nick massages his shoulder.

„what was that Jacob?“

„nothing. Nick was as rough with me as i was.“

Nick nods along and i frown.

did i misinterpret this whole situation?

Mr. H. sighs and crosses his arms.

„you’re big examples for those kids. so no more…rough fighting, or weird special rules for…whatever you two are. couple or friends i don’t know anymore.“ he points at me and Jacob and lets his head fall in disappointment. „this is the last day, you can follow the rules until then alright ya noobs?“, he says, still not looking at us three.

„yes sir.“ we all say. „sorry, Mr. H.“ i mutter.

he hums and motions us to leave the field, which i gladly follow.

Jacob grabs my arm the second the three of us are out of his sight and drags me away while i protest.

A/N: It's getting spicy... (and i'll actually post the next one right now, no cliff hanger lol)

[shawnjacksonsbs]

6-3-23

"When [he] was once asked "which of the people is best?" he replied: "Everyone who is pure of heart and sincere in speech."

&

"He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend."

- (I can't remember which is which, but one of these quotes is from Proverbs in the Holy Bible and the other is from the Holy Quran.)

I couldn't decide on a title, either so you pick, then insert above. Lol no lol

Choose either,

- Remember, going out on a limb can be scary, but that's where the best fruit is (thanks J.D.)

Or

- Or is it just imaginary grace? (Thanks Modern English)

Lookin more and more like a note share. With so much on my mind and too many things scattered anyways, it's probably the closest to what the inside of my mind looks like, my exhausted over . . .concerned mind. Lol no lol

~one day

What's the most important thing you've ever done?

Probably, make mistakes.

What's the difference between a mistake and an unfortunate event? I need you all to tell me, for you.

~another day

Mistakes ^

I should clarify that that doesn't mean I look forward to them, (mistakes I mean) but being grateful for the ones who made me, me, certainly are the most important.

~this day was a read. And this next part isn't mine:

"Most of us are not making life-and-death decisions that need an immediate response. Give yourself space to step back from the situation so you can clearly view your emotions."

Is an emotion present?

Hunger.

Anger.

Loneliness.

Tiredness.

Pain.

Stress.

? ?

"Be forewarned. It's like wielding magic powers. It doesn’t make the emotions go away, but you will become a master at surfing the waves that so many people get crushed by."

Think of HALT-PS like a gigantic red stop sign. The moment you notice any of these emotions are present, hit the brakes. You wouldn’t just rip through a stop sign going at full speed because you’re in a rush, so why would you make a rash decision that has a damn good chance of causing you to crash into oncoming traffic?

"HALT-PS creates a buffer between the emotion and the decision. This time delay can be a lifesaver since full-blown emotions are short-lived. Creating a little space means you get a chance to slow down, open your mind, and from a calm state, you can consider the risks that you might have otherwise overlooked."

Reading this helped that day.

~even another day

It's like a big multi-partner tag team in my head lately too. When one person close to my heart steps outta my worry and closer to the light it seems right at the time someone else jumps at the chance to fill the void. Maybe if they knew it's overcrowded between my ears at it doesn't actually cause a vacuum or a void. It's absence is what "normal" is supposed to feel like I think. Lol

Later same day, ~

What it is Earth to Echo?

~Another day

Hmm. "I'm not suggesting he's a racist. I'm saying the racists think he's a racist."

That to me speaks just as loud as. . .SPEAKS VOLUMES.

~And this, which is even another/'nother day

I put this all ❤️ together 🤲.

Still being loud asf about my healing, but secrets keep some of us sick.

I guess that's it guys.

Remember that love and respect should be given freely if given at all. I believe that world citizens should have certain rights, which some still don't (may never have), and that all U.S. citizens should have the same rights I have.

When I say equal I mean it.

I'm glad that those who would infringe on the life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness can be kept in check, which is only because of the balances in place here.

Grateful for what we do have here, as we're about to embark on more small-ish adventures this weekend.

Today will start with coffee with fam, then thr pioneer days thing, and lastly, we're taking one of our younger grandchildren to see Across the Spider-verse. Keep your fingers as it's his first time and we hope he makes it through. Lol

Keep sharing your love and your laughter with the world around you, and keep everyone regardless, in the light.

I love you for being exactly who you're supposed to be.

Until next time;

"It's you I like,

It's not the things you wear,

It's not the way you do your hair

But it's you I like

The way you are right now,

The way down deep inside you

Not the things that hide you,

Not your toys

They're just beside you.

But it's you I like

Every part of you.

Your skin, your eyes, your feelings

Whether old or new.

I hope that you'll remember

Even when you're feeling blue

That it's you I like,

It's you yourself

It's you.

It's you I like.- Mr. Fred Rogers

"The deadly sin [pride] isn’t telling people to not be proud of who they are or their own accomplishments. Pride in that content means preoccupation with self to the detriment of other people and everything around you."

[v5hadow]

WIP Wednesday

Royal Strikers: Chapter 1 Scene 2.3

haha.... Not where I wanted to be when I posted this, as the end still has a (need to write this here) thing still and definitely needs a little smoothing, dialogue tagging, action, etc. especially towards the end. but man it's close enough after most of a month for an initial post. I'm already guessing next week is either a filler-ish bit or the next section of Futaba's Lost and Found Services since the ending of the next major scene eludes me and has for a little while. And today one of my tarot deck also was a snarky little thing about this story it seems. Like needed sass, but that isn't the deck to do that normally.

Yuuki looked up and behind him to look at Akira as he said, “And well, Akira’s here and is supposed to be hanging out with his friends all summer. What are his parents going to care if he, and by extension Morgana, is in Tokyo or Kyoto or wherever?”

Akira took a deep breath in. “That’s… true.” 

“Can confirm, they did literally say ‘have fun in Tokyo or whatever.’” Morgana tried teasing between purrs.

“Soooo. What is your mom going to say about a few weeks of skipping rehab?” Ann asked as she toyed with the small knitted doll of a red cat.

“Mom seemed fine if my docs were,” Ryuji answered while waving his hand. “And I already promised my docs I’ll be doing the exercises I can outside of their offices and to not overdo it.”

Makoto added the question of “What about grades or money?”

Ryuji looked at Makoto seemingly confused on the question but responded, “Eh, I can likely still do so? Mom’s normally pretty good about most things involving me and school, and she’s never really questioned too much about money?”

“Just using Aki and-“ Yuuki started before stopping as he got squeezed by Akira with the arm around his waist. He flusterly continued, “Nii…Makoto’s presence in the group should help you.” 

Ryuji leaned back into his chair, about to tilt onto two of its legs. “You all are way too worried for no reason.” 

“And you two don’t have to be so attached right now.” The grumbling from Morgana caused the two to shift, Yuuki slightly away, only to keep a grip on Akira’s hand. Akira near immediately adjusted to use his partner’s shoulder as a pillow and finished with sticking his tongue out at the cat-like monster .

As the boys moved, Futaba gave an especially rough pat as she told him, “You have no room to talk, Morgana.”

Haru hid a little laugh before telling the protesting creature “Mona-chan, you’ve been getting pets from Taba-chan and I since we came up here.”

“He’s just jealous about not getting much attention from Lady Ann in comparison to her omiyage,”Akira quipped. 

Ann gave an exaggerated sigh, though still smiling as she stated, “If he wants pets, all he has to do is ask.” Morgana very quickly left his space with Futaba to twirl around Ann’s legs before eventually ending up in her lap getting more pets.

“Frankly Mishima, I'm surprised you aren’t the most free since Akira is here.” Yusuke said as he closed his sketchbook.

With a slight wince, Yuuki explained, “I have a summer job my parents insisted I get. Otherwise yeah, I probably would be.”

Haru quietly asked, “Do you think they made you get a job to keep you away from Akira?” “I’ve met them and yeah totally possible.” Ann’s voice held a fiery dislike. 

“Agreed.” Ryuji also not looking especially happy. 

“Maybe, I don't know. I think they think I’m getting up to something scandalous since I stopped being volleyball captain a few weeks ago.” Yuuki received a few sympathetic glances and a squeeze of his hand. 

“Remind me how that happened again? The becoming captain bit.” Ryuji asked.

“Dr. Maruki.” Yuuki quickly interjected before anyone else could answer. 

“More like all the team recognizing him as the one who did the most after Shiho jumped to correct things. It happens to be close timing though.” Ann insisted.

Makoto backed Ann’s statement up with the fact, “You wouldn’t have still been captain if it was just Maruki’s doing, Yuuki-kun.”

“I didn’t do that much! I barely apologized to everyone I hurt because of Kam-him. And I’m still pretty bad at volleyball.” Yuuki curled a bit into himself, breaking Akira’s hold on his hand while doing so.

“You are good at making sure tasks get done without hounding people about it and just generally organized.” Futaba listed off.

Akira scooted Yuuki back over to hug him as he said, “You looked pretty good whenever we caught your practices.” 

A small raise in Yuuki’s mood began as he denied their claims.“You are very biased.”

“And you have that one video I saw!” Haru tried her hand at arguing the point of Yuuki’s skill.

“Star player of the match of several games during the spring, apparently.” Makoto agreed.

“Between you and Sumi, at least I’m not the only sports person!” Ryuji raised his fist for a bump.

“You all have way too much confidence in me.” Ryuji started to lower his hand which brought with it his mood. Yuuki rolled his eyes before finishing the fist bump before Ryuji could finish pulling his hand away. He then said, “I still can’t believe, of all the things that happened around New Years, that’s the thing that stuck.”

“I find it refreshing that you have the everyday recognition of what you’ve done. Most things the rest of us have done ebb and flow with our popularity. Even worse as a group.” Yusuke spoke up.

Yuuki sighed before reminding everyone, “On the note of everyday and thieves, I’ll also have more moderating to do too on the Phan-site due to everyone ELSE being off for summer too. It’s quieter, especially compared to last year, but not something I can completely ignore.”

“Hey, you’ve got a team to help with that!” Futaba loudly announced while pointing at Yuuki. She looked around the room before shrugging as she continued, “Not that anyone here but me is really gonna help with it. But Chihiro-san and Midorikawa would be very disappointed.”

“Aww, Yuuki, you sure can’t put it down for yet another vacation for us?” Akira teased while pulling Yuuki even closer again.

The smaller boy pulled a little away before smiling at his boyfriend. “I’m sure, but I’ll definitely be trying to keep it down.” “Though holidays never seem to work out in our favor.” 

“Yeah, Christmas Eve sucked from every direction.” Ryuji nodded along.

Futaba agreed, “The site’s backlash didn’t help and beyond then things got weird.” 

Ann added, “Everything third semester was weird.” 

“Agreed.” Haru nodded. 

“Golden Week I know was pretty rough for you, Akira.” Makoto sympathized.

Akira shook his head as he said, “My hometown is pretty weird every so often at that time of year, but was thinking Hawaii.” 

“Wow, do you guys have shit luck.” Ryuji joked.

Yuuki grumbled out, “We weren’t even-“

Ryuji cut off his friend, saying, “Yeah, yeah we know you were sorting your head back together after your boyfriend talked to your Shadow.”

Yusuke attempted to correct, “Ryuji, I believe he was referring to you and Ann having to bunk the night in their room.”

“Oh, I thought you were going to say something about when Ryuji dragged the three of you to hit on girls.” Ann added.

Yuuki practically squeaked out, “When do you all think we got together?!” He then fairly quickly covered his mouth and cheeks with his hands.

A cacophony of answers, most seeming to indicate last summer. 

Haru was the last to answer, stating, “Oh I thought it was right before you all met me, while I had Morgana.”

Said cat laughed as he lept on to the table. “Closer but nope, it was while Akira was in hiding.” 

“What do you mean December?” Ryuji shouted. 

Futaba rolled her eyes as she corrected, “It was November.”

“How, how are Morgana and Futaba the only ones even close on that?” 

“Did Akira ever tell us?” Makoto questioned the rest of the group.

“He literally told you all to leave right before their first date!” Mongana defended.

“Seriously, Aki.” Yuuki muttered as he buried his face into his boyfriend’s shoulder.

Ryuji defended his assumptions, “I thought he meant their first since he didn’t die!”

“Same!” Ann seemed to express for most of the rest of the group.

“The only time they almost went on a date before November got almost immediately crashed by Shinya.” Futaba almost cackled from her spot by the window.

Ryuji rubbed the back of his head as said, “Felt like I’d run into those two near Takeshita Street almost every time I was at Harajuku last year.”

“I thought the planetarium… No, nevermind.” Makoto shook her head. 

Morgana rolled his eyes, before explaining, “Yuuki always had a Phan-site excuse, right?” A round of agreement from everyone. “And you all would join and neither ever argued?” 

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Ryuji narrowed his eyes

 “Not much, just all of you, including Sumire-chan and Akechi, had more successful potential dates than the lovebirds?”   

Neither of the boyfriend pair paid much attention once Morgana took control of the conversation. Instead Akira focused on reassuring his partner. “What, if anything it’s funny they think we were dating for longer than we have been.” Akira shrugged, mostly with the shoulder the smaller boy wasn’t on. “That’s a lot of almost dates they can think of honestly.”

“It's not really funny, it's more-” The alarm of a phone rang out in the middle of his sentence. Yuuki finished his sentence as he fished his phone out of his pocket as he stood up, “Frustrating.” 

“And embarrassing?” Akira softened as he asked.

“A little?” Yuuki then raised his voice back to something the entire room could hear as he shut off the alarm, saying, “And unfortunately, that alarm was my signal that I have to head out.”

Ryuji patted his friend’s arm as he confirmed, “Junes, yeah?” He got a confused nod but definitely didn’t stop a smile from starting to come back.

Both boys sitting on the crate bench were up and approaching the stairs.

“Good luck!” Makoto offered.

“Take no prisoners!” Haru playfully encouraged.

Futaba leaned back, taking up more of the ledge. “We’ll likely just shoot the breeze until dinner, so don’t worry.”

Yusuke took that moment to interject, “In that case, let us speak of modern art and-

“Anything but that. Hey Yuuki, I'll join you!”

“You want to potentially end up in front of a grill?”

“Yeah, nope. See ya.”

“At least it isn’t the bear mascot costume.” Akira’s jovial mood spread confusion across almost all the teens.

Makoto expressed her disbelief with a “But the mascot isn’t a bear?” 

“Where in Japan do they have a bear mascot?” Haru tilted her head to the side. 

“No idea but apparently Inaba. But I need to go before I miss my train.”

“Bye, Yuuki!” Ann smiled and shot a fast directing glance at Akira before returning to the departing Thief, who took a deep breath. She then quickly tried to bring the focus on to herself and a modeling gig she did in a Junes a few months ago.

“We’ll talk more tonight?” Akira softly asked.

“Definitely.”

“Stay here?”

“Of course. All you had to do is ask.”

(insert yuuki kissing corner of akira’s mouth, Akira fully on lips) 

“Stealing kisses now?”

“Only yours”

Akira was slow to tune back to the world around him as he sat back down. The group had moved on to listening to a story of Yusuke getting cheap vegetables but was swiftly interrupted by Ryuji asking their leader, “Your hometown for real has a Junes with a bear mascot?”

[adelaidedrubman]

INTERVIEW WITH THE DEPUTY

i was tagged by my beloveds @socially-awkward-skeleton and @direwombat to do this oc interview, also following their brilliant format of styling it as an interview with wheaty!! sending tags out to @florbelles @henbased @unholymilf @belorage @noetikat @heroofpenamstan @marivenah @ishwaris @derelictheretic @strangefable @roofgeese @confidentandgood @echo3-1 @jackiesarch @purplehairsecretlair @strafethesesinners and anyone else can @ me!

wrote this as taking place vaguely in the time frame of wildfire chapter 16, and since it’s jestiny answering obviously it cannot be considered an accurate source of lore.

“Alright, we’ll be live and on the air in ten,” Wheaty said with a wide smile, nodding towards the microphone in front of Jestiny. “Nine… eight…”

“Wait,” Jessie hissed under her breath, throwing a hand over the mic to produce a screech of feedback harsh enough to cause Wheaty to throw his headphones off. “Before we get started, just, uh — Just curious, what’s the broadcast range on this?” She motioned a thumb towards the audio equipment. “Like, is this a Whitetails exclusive, or are folks outside the uh, general area gonna get to hear it?”

“It only reaches the Whitetails,” Wheaty answered, pulling the microphone away from her.

“Any way we could change that? Like, is there a jammer I can blow up real quick?”

“What?” He questioned, replacing his headphones. “No, I — why?”

“I mean, if this is supposed to boost morale for the resistance, shouldn’t we be trying to boost it for the entire resistance?” she asked, ignoring the long beep and flashing light to her side. “Like, we should also be talking to folks, in say, the Henbane? ...The Val —”

“Dep, we’re live now.”

“Right! It’s showtime, folks!”

“Well all you Whitetails, in case you haven’t figured it out by now, here’s your cue to get excited — because today I have the chance to sit down with the infamous Deputy Rook. Thanks for chatting with us, Rook.”

“My pleasure. Good practice for when all those cult bastards are rotting in jail, and I’m doing press as America’s sweetheart.”

“That’s — the spirit, I guess. So surely everyone with a working radio has heard about your exploits, but let’s learn more about the woman behind the badge…”

Name?

JESTINY: Deputy Rook.

WHEATY: [Laughs.] Good one, Dep. Full name?

JESTINY: I just go by Rook.

WHEATY: You… don’t have a first name?

JESTINY: People ’round here just call me Rook.

WHEATY: …C’mon, there’s no one around you’re on a first name basis with?

JESTINY: Jesus fucking Christ, Wheaty, this is not good radio. Next question.

WHEATY: Alright. Deputy Rook. Woman of mystery.

Are you single?

JESTINY: Extremely single. Extremely available.

WHEATY: That’s loud and clear! And what’s your type, so the listeners know if that’s a sign to shoot their shot?

JESTINY: Nice, normal folks.

WHEATY: …Okay, word out to anyone, uh — nice and normal!

JESTINY: Yes.

Are you happy?

JESTINY: [Laughs.] I won’t lie to you, Wheaty. Shit’s been better. But I try to keep a positive attitude.

WHEATY: Seems like it.

Are you angry?

JESTINY: [Long pause. Throat clearing.] I have lost my temper a bit on occasion before.

WHEATY: Over what?

JESTINY: For fuck’s sake Wheaty, is this supposed to be a fluff piece or an interrogation? The fuck are you grilling me for? I feel like I might as well be in — [Short pause. Cough.] Can we move on?

WHEATY: Yeah. I think you answered the question.

Are your parents still married?

JESTINY: ’Til death do they part, I guess.

WHEATY: That’s sweet!

JESTINY: It really fuckin’ isn’t.

WHEATY: Okay, then.

Birth place?

JESTINY: Kentucky.

Hair color?

JESTINY: Ha, I think everyone knows that one already.

WHEATY: For anyone who might have missed it.

JESTINY: [Scoffs.] Sure, fine. Flaming locks of auburn hair. [Vague rustling in background.] Say, do you have any Dolly in here?

WHEATY: Please don’t touch my vinyls.

Eye color?

JESTINY: And eyes of emerald green... Okay, fine, light brown. But I do have ivory —

Birthday?

JESTINY: April 13, 1990. Born on a Friday the thirteenth.

WHEATY: Huh.

Mood?

JESTINY: Fine.

WHEATY: …Anything more to that?

JESTINY: I’m fine.

WHEATY: Okay. Fine.

Gender?

JESTINY: Gal.

Summer or winter?

JESTINY: Around here, summer. Snow’s pretty and all, but too fucking cold to camp out in it.

WHEATY: [Tone lightening.] So you like camping?

JESTINY: I said cool it with the fuckin’ third degree, Wheaty.

WHEATY: [Tone falling.] Right.

Morning or afternoon?

JESTINY: Afternoon.

=EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE=

Are you in love?

JESTINY: God fucking no, I — [Pause. Cough. Short laugh.] Only with my job, and the joy of helpin’ people.

Who ended your last relationship?

JESTINY: I, uh — I don’t know if I’ve had many of what could be considered ‘relationships’ in the traditional sense, so… I’ve made a few big moves in my time, that’s… broken some things off.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

JESTINY: Aw, c’mon. Do I look like someone who could do that?

WHEATY: The listeners can’t see you, Dep.

JESTINY: Well, then, next question.

Are you afraid of commitments?

JESTINY: Afraid isn’t the right word, ’course I’m not fucking scared. But I like to not be tied down.

Have you hugged someone within the last week?

JESTINY: Huh. I’ve been hugged by lots of people, lately. It’s — [Pause.] So nice. You know me. Woman of the people.

WHEATY: Self-described.

Have you ever had a secret admirer?

JESTINY: I don’t fuckin’ know. Frankly, that’s none of my business. Or your —

WHEATY: I’m guessing ‘next question?’

JESTINY: You’ve got a real fucking future in journalism, kid. Good instincts.

Have you ever broken your own heart?

JESTINY: What the fuck does that mean?

WHEATY: You know, Rook. Like have you ever caused yourself heartbreak? Hurt your own feelings, or —

JESTINY: I’m fine.

=SIX CHOICES=

Love or lust?

JESTINY: C’mon, Wheaty — you’re gonna make me sound not very ‘America’s sweetheart’ with this one. [Particularly forced-sounding laughter.] [Long pause.] [Flatter tone.] But, lust. Definitely just lust.

Lemonade or iced tea?

JESTINY: Finally, some real fucking questions around here! Iced tea, but only the sweet kind.

Cats or dogs?

JESTINY: Cats, I guess. I like both, but the following you around shit can be… Cats are independent. It’s nice.

A few best friends or many regular friends?

JESTINY: Hey, they’re called best friends for a reason. But love ’em all, of course.

Wild night out or romantic night in?

JESTINY: Hm, definitely wild night out — but usually ‘wild’ in the ‘wilderness’ sense.

Day or night?

JESTINY: Night.

=FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS=

Been caught sneaking out?

JESTINY: Did you miss when I said my birth year? I’m a grown ass woman. [Mocking falsetto.] Sneaking out.

WHEATY: When you were a kid, then. What kind of childhood did the great Deputy Rook have?

JESTINY: Fine.

WHEATY: [Perking up.] Fine? You’ll talk about it?

JESTINY: I’m saying my childhood was fine. Normal childhood.

WHEATY: Of course…

Fallen down/up the stairs?

JESTINY: Uh, would it really boost morale for everyone to hear about their hero falling down the stairs? I’m very coordinated. Don’t fall on my ass that often.

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?

JESTINY: No.

Wanted to disappear?

JESTINY: Yeah, the uh — bright red hair and general notoriety makes that difficult.

=FOUR PREFERENCES=

Smile or eyes?

JESTINY: Let’s say smile.

Shorter or taller?

JESTINY: Definitely prefer shorter, but taller isn’t a dealbreaker. As long as I can still lift them.

Intelligence or attraction?

JESTINY: Depends on what we’re talkin’. Short term or long term? I mean I — [Short laugh.] I certainly don’t wanna fuckin’ accuse anyone I’ve been with in some sense of the word of necessarily being fucking intelligent.

WHEATY: [Laugh. Rustling noise.] Are you afraid you’ll hurt a listener’s feelings?

JESTINY: Of course fucking not, I — Next fucking question.

Hook-up or relationship?

JESTINY: Hook-up, at my current stage in life.

=FAMILY=

Do you and your family get along?

JESTINY: I don’t get to see any of them, that often.

WHEATY: Well, let’s say when did. How was your relationship with your family?

[Pause.]

WHEATY: [Sighs.] Let me guess, it was f —

JESTINY: Fine.

Would you say you have a “messed up life”?

JESTINY: Whole fuckin’ county has a messed up life right now.

WHEATY: I want to talk about you, though.

JESTINY: A perfectly average level of messed up. Can’t complain.

Have you ever run away from home?

JESTINY: Not seriously.

Have you ever gotten kicked out?

JESTINY: Nope.

=FRIENDS=

Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

JESTINY: Yes, but I won’t say who. Keep people on their toes.

Do you consider all of your friends good friends?

JESTINY: Yeah, sure.

Who is your best friend?

JESTINY: Oh, that’s hard to pick, uh — Adelaide and I have fun together, and I’d say Mary May and I got pretty close there. Back when — back when I was spending a lot of time in Holland Valley. But, y’know — I’m not, anymore. [Pause.] But Mary May, if you’re listening, I — still consider us good friends.

WHEATY: [Whispering.] I told you, this is only broadcasting in the Whitetails.

JESTINY: [Whispering loudly.] Well people still might pass the fucking message along, right?

Who knows everything about you?

JESTINY: Ha. Nobody but me and god, and I don’t believe in god.

WHEATY: Then who knows the most about you?

JESTINY: [Short pause.] Around here?

WHEATY: Sure.

JESTINY: [Extremely long pause.] Mary May.

[buckybarnesdiaries]

white wolf: “the story of a first date”

first part — second part — third part — fourth part (soon)

© @capsgrantrogers

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

Sam helps Bucky to ask you out for a date and it's a disaster, but he gets it.

word count: 3.147 words. (not sorry, it worth it, i promise!!!)

warnings/tags: none. bucky being the cutest gentleman in the whole wide world, and sam keeping an eye on him.

author notes: as it happened with the first part, i'm not really happy with the result but i had so much fun writing it and i think that that made this writing perfect, so i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed it. none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

The car stopped because of a red light, a moment where Sam took the advantage to turn at his copilot, glancing at Bucky from top to bottom in complete silence. Analyzing him. The soldier tilted his head raising an eyebrow, showing his curiosity about what the hell he was doing.

“What are you gonna wear, uh?” Sam asked then, maintaining a serious gesture on his face.

“Clothes”. Unworriedly, he put back his eyes to the front window.

“You probably look good naked, but that’s not what I’m talking ‘bout”.

“Just… some jeans, a shirt, and a jacket”.

“And shoes, I guess”.

Bucky turned on his seat towards his friend, squinting confused for the interrogatory. “Who cares?”

“About the shoe—”

“About the clothes”.

“Man, it’s a date! Do you wan’her to remember this night as the night Bucky Barnes shown up as a Russian bum?”

“I’m from Brookl—”.

“Yeah, but you look like mother Russia just spat you to the world”.

Sam rolled his eyes as a sigh escaped his mouth. Shaking his head, he took the next corner to the fifth avenue changing the planes they had in mind. A good outfit meant a good date. A good date meant happy soldier. Happy soldier meant no trouble. See the point? So the Falcon would take care of the Winter Soldier today. If only Steve could see them. He’d feel proud, that was for sure. They visited a couple of shops, finally letting Sam take control over the situation and pick the clothes he would wear for you. He had good taste, everybody knew that, and Bucky couldn’t complain about his choices.

Even less when the distinctive black suit dressed his anatomy to perfection. Spinning around in front of the mirror, he felt different. He looked different. He looked good, but not as he’d like. Holding the bucket of flowers once he was ready, Bucky left his apartment straight to the garage under the building. He was nervous, he couldn’t lie. But he had that sensation inside him that made him believe everything would be okay for the first time since he woke up.

The road didn’t take him more than ten minutes, not really worried about the time given that he had planned to arrive a little sooner than accorded. Life seemed like it was smiling at him, finding a parking lot in the same entrance. Landing his blue eyes on the rearview mirror, Bucky took a last view at his reflection, brushing back his hair as he used to do in the forties. He grabbed then the flowers he bought for you and stepped out of the car, trying to remember the advice Sam gave him. Resting his back against the copilot's door, he waited impatiently for you.

“Hey, you”.

His heart stopped for a second, raising his orbs to the man coming closer. Before he could react, the man in question tucked a hand beneath Bucky's jacket. Patting him down.

“What the hell are you doing, Sam?” He questioned irritatedly, slapping his hands and causing him to laugh.

“Just checking you didn't bring the notecards again”.

“Yeah, very funny…”

“Man, look at you! Should be illegal to look this good, uh?” Sam helped him to put on the jacket again, receiving another slap from his friend.

“Don't touch me”. Scowling, he fixed the flowers in his left hand, wanting them to be perfect. “Anyway, what are you doing here?”

“Watch you till (Y/N) comes. Lemme take a picture, I feel like a proud father on his son's prom day”.

“You're not m— Get the hell outta here, Sam”.

“Fighting again, kids? Should I call your mama?”

As Bucky heard you scoff, his soul abandoned. His pupils dilated. His legs trembled. And he could swear that everything disappeared around him when he watched you going downstairs, swinging your hips unconsciously sensual, with a black dress fitting you like a glove. If this morning Bucky wanted to marry you, now he wanted to spend the rest of his life by your side. Your makeup was on point, just like your hair, not being too formal but enough to run him out of words.

“Steve is off-duty, so, what 'you gonna do, soldier?” Sam mocked, an instant before noticing how pale Bucky was. He couldn't help but slap the back of his neck to bring him back to reality.

“I, uh… flowers… I bought you…”

“You're not Yoda”. Sam whispered as the other offered you the present.

“C'mon, stop messing with him”. You clicked your tongue, right before you drew an adorable smile on your lips, leaning to kiss Bucky's cheek. “Thank you”.

“You're welcome”. He just answered, responding to your same gesture while opening the door for you.

“Such a gentleman…” His playful murmur made Bucky frown and nudge him, trying to stop him from saying anything else and ruin the occasion.

“I'll bring him back at ten”. You joked palming his chest.

“The point is to not bring him back to me”. Sam cackled, shaking his head and taking a step back.

Once in the car turning on the engine, James joined the road after checking you were good. Never in his life he had driven with so much care as if he was carrying a bomb by his side. He set on the radio, not really knowing how to start a conversation, watching you through the corners of his eyes caressing the flowers over your lap. No one had bought you them before, thinking it was a thing that only happened in movies. But then, you met Bucky. An old-fashioned man, making yourself wonder how he was the same the news used to say he was a cold-blood assassin.

“What have you thought?”

“Uh?”

“About the date”.

“Sam told me about a rest—”.

“Okay, okay, Bucky. Pull over”. You couldn't help but burst into laughter, as his face was pale again thinking you were about to step out and end the date.

“Sorry, did I…?”

You swiveled at him on your seat, kissing your teeth and squinting inevitably. Studying his face you knew how afraid he was, and it was the most adorable reaction ever. You could have kissed at that precise instant, but it'd have been a little awkward.

“Where do you wanna go?”

The question didn't take him by surprise, actually. He was still getting used to doing the things he desired and not what other people asked him to do. The restaurant was a fancy place with a distinguished menu according to what his friend explained to him, but it wasn't the kind of site that he'd normally go, or that represented him.

“When I, uh… came back, I discovered that my favorite burger joint in Brooklyn was still standing”. Bucky told you, facing you after finishing the sentence. “They prepare the best burgers of the whole New York and you can decide what ingredients add, and the bread, and the kind of meat. And it still having the original decoration”.

You reclined on your seat, just staring at him talking with that kind of burning passion about something he loved. Puckering your lips, you nodded your chin. The fact that not only he wanted to take you to a different place, but a place that he used to go to when he was young made butterflies flutter within your belly. Bucky wanted to make you part of his future, but also his past. That made the difference.

“Sounds good to me”.

“Really?” He inquired funnily confused, wrinkling his nose and forehead.

“Really”.

The shine that appeared within his eyes made you place a hand on his cheek to urge him to turn his head and drive again. An innocent gesture that provoked him a lively giggle. If that man knew all the things he caused you, he'd have taken the step months ago.

As the night went on and Bucky was losing his shyness, he talked to you about the good old times. Before HYDRA, before the winter, before the war. When he was a kid with no worries more than keeping Steven safe from the bullies. It was nice to disconnect from the present, from the gazes around the two of you, from the back talks, only enjoying your dinner and your conversation. You talked to Bucky about how was to be raised on a farm, surrounded by open fields and animals, to join the army years later. Without going into details that could make him remember the old bad times, you told him about what you used to do, your missions, and how you were wounded in combat after being shot and fell from a helicopter.

Bucky felt confident enough to compare it with how everything started. Falling from a wagon to the snow. But as soon as his voice became lower, you couldn't help but hold his gloved left hand and intertwine your fingers with his. And you could swear you felt him shaking for a brief moment because of your touch.

“So, what, uh? It was a forties trend to jump into the void?” You tried to joke, wanting to feel relaxed.

“Yeah, seems like”. He mumbled curling up his lips. “Listen… I really want to… open up, and I know it’s easier with you because… y’know, you work doing this”.

“Hold on, Bucky”. You laughed waving your free hand, shaking your chin as you closed your eyes for a second. “That has sounded really bad”.

“Wait, wh— Oh, shit, no, no, no”.

For the first time since you walked into the small restaurant, his laughter was lively, unworriedly, honest.

“Take it easy, just kidding”. You grinned, nailing your elbow on the table to rest your cheek on your palm. “But… this isn’t work. We’re not doing therapy, we’re… knowing each other. And I don’t want to pressure you to talk about something you don’t feel prepared to, okay?”

“I know”.

Bucky couldn’t believe how much you seemed to empathize with him, not judging his acts nor his past, not deciding that the date wasn't a good idea nor running away. He couldn’t believe the less importance you were giving to his arm made of vibranium; usually, people used to freak out, to feel frightened somehow about the things it could do. But you were there, fingers playing with the others as if it was the most common and natural act in the world. And, for you, it was. That was you in all your best. Considerate, smart, patient, lovingly. The rainbow after a stormy life. Everything that Bucky needed in his life to start from scratch and be his better version. A shoulder to lean on and a reason to come back home.

“Was afraid of asking you out”. He confessed after some seconds admiring each other. Any person closer would say you had been dating for a long, long time by the way you had to keep silent and not feel uncomfortable.

“Why?”

“You came from war and made your world a place to live. I’m still stuck there”.

“I have my own red flags”. Clicking your tongue, you rolled your eyes.

“Oh, really? Please, surprise me”. Bucky teased you sitting up on his chair, not loosening the gentle grip around your left hand.

“I put the milk before cereals”.

“Oh… Oh, God”. He let out, pretending to be horrified and running a hand on his face. “Goddammit… you’re a monster, ma’am. I don’ think this is going to work”.

“Excuse me?” You chuckled, parting your lips in a breath while leaning over the table to palm his right shoulder. “It wasn’t me who added lettuce to the burger”.

“What? What’s the matter with that, uh?”

“Lettuce kills the savor!”

“Y’know what kills the savor? Ketchup. Today, people use ketchup literally with everything… And that’s disgusting”.

“Okay! Next time, no lettuce, and… no ketchup”.

“That’s a big challenge”. Bucky scoffed tenderly squeezing your hand between his cold fingers.

“I’ll live, Sergeant Barnes”. You narrowed your eyes and crinkled your nose at the same time.

“I was talking about a second date, not about your issue with ketchup”.

“So was I”.

A goofy smirk appeared on Bucky’s face, biting his inner cheek as he assented with his head. Seeing you again, knowing that you wanted it —that you wanted him—, made him trust Dr. Raynor’s words. He was having a second chance to do the right thing. To live and to be.

You wanted to add something else when the clock in his wrist started to beep. Curious, you raised an eyebrow. “We have to leave”.

“Why?”

“Sam told me you work tomorrow at eight, which means you’ll get up at six and a half… maybe seven. While I pay, take you home, all that stuff… I don’ want you to be tired in the morning”.

Bucky would never stop to amaze you, looking up to him in silence to contemplate how he called the bartender and beckoned his free hand to ask for the bill.

“What…? What are you doing?” He chuckled embarrassed, taking his beer to sip.

You cleared your throat when you realized how stupid you should look right now, shaking your head as you freed his cold hand from yours to find unlock your phone as soon as the guy brought the dataphone.

“Hey, no, no. I asked you out, I pay”. Bucky began to fight with you, provoking some laughs on the table as you tried to put your screen above the tpv.

“Well, welcome to the twenty-first century”. You hummed as the operation was confirmed.

“I’ll pay next time”. He declared licking his incisors, prior to his lips.

You wished the ride back home to last forever, not wanting to end the date. But the car reached your neighborhood in a blink of eyes. You couldn't help but sigh barely appreciably for your companion, gazing through the window until double parking in front of your apartment. You turned towards him, hearing the engine shut off. Bucky seemed disappointed like you, not being able to remember when was the last time he had a break, he had fun. The date was nicer than he expected but the idea of not knowing exactly when he was going to see you again was killing him from the inside.

“I'll accompany you”. He declared undoing his seat belt as you did to step out.

You reacted with a delicate smile, holding the bucket of flowers against your abdomen while walking to the front door of the building. That moment was a little uncomfortable, not being sure about how to say goodbye, just looking like two teens in love.

“Thank you for tonight, Bucky”. You uttered without thinking about it. “It's been the best night I've ever had”.

“Next will be better, I promise”.

“That's a big challenge”. You chuckled repeating his words a while ago in the restaurant.

“I'll live”. He nodded convinced, glancing at you bowing down your interest to the red roses between your hands.

How could you tell him that you were dying to be together again? That you wouldn't mind waking up sooner and having breakfast? You bit your inner upper lip, trying to find the correct words to say, without sounding like you were feeling something else to a physical attraction. Bucky was hot as hell, that wasn't up to debate, but he was the kindest and charmingest man you had known. He was sensible and strong at the same time. You both complemented the other like the pieces of a puzzle and you never thought something like that could happen to you. To find your other half and having it so clear you didn't want anyone else.

“I am, uh… free tomorrow”.

His words pushed you out of your thoughts, putting up your attention to a Bucky almost flushing, stroking the back of his head, and having the impression that he could scare you.

“Got a break for lunch, if you want”. You proposed without hesitation.

His eyes sparkled with happiness, holding your left hand with his to bring it to his mouth, placing a fond kiss on the back. Such a gentleman, like Sam said, inducing your cheeks to burn. And then, you saw him doubting about taking another step. You wanted it too to happen, tho, leaning forward to press your lips together. Your eyes snapped closed at that precise instant, not having any rush, tasting each other's and shortening the distance between both of you by his free arm getting wrapped around your waist. The kiss was innocent but passionate. It was warm, intimate, trying to transmit all the chemistry you woke up within the other with only one look, with only one smile. Breaking it —much to your regret— when you needed air to breathe. And even so, Bucky rested his forehead against yours freeing your hand to place it on the right side of his neck.

Neither of the two of you opened your eyes, extending the moment as much as you could. You felt he craved to spend the night with you, and you desired it too, but you also felt that he needed some time to get used to this new world he was living in. It wasn't easy. You thought back to the months after the war, the recovery, the loneliness you forced yourself to be in. You were in Afghanistan for three months. He had been fighting since nineteen forty. And he didn't want to ruin what you were building together.

“I should leave”. Bucky murmured against his wishes.

“See you tomorrow”.

At the moment you opened your eyes to meet the pale blue ones, your whole body felt weak. You saw the brightness in them after letting him know that the second date was going to happen and that it wasn't just a formality before disappearing, wiping out any minimal doubt by kissing him again. The last kiss. A good night, I'll dream with you kiss.

“I'm gonna play this on your wedding day, definitely”.

You screamed because of the unexpected metallic voice coming closer, clinging to Bucky's neck as his heart raced too. Redwing was suspended in the air some steps away from you, being controlled by Sam. Who else is not him, uh?

“I'm starting to think you have separation anxiety”. The soldier growled trying to hit the flying device with his flesh hand, hearing you laughing against his chest.

“Good night, kids”. You chuckled separating from Bucky.

“No kiss for me, soldier?”

“I'm not gonna kiss that thing, Samuel”.

“What about a howl, White wolf? Would be very appro—”.

“White wo—”.

“Please, don't. Don't ask”. Bucky begged you, licking his bottom lip while rubbing the back of his head, clearly ashamed.

“Hope you show me one day what it means…”

“Oh, he will… Just wait till the full moon”.

“Sam!” Bucky and you yelled in unison, you playfully, he annoyed.

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