#who knew 40 dogs could grow so much fur

[beansnpeets]

I received many doggy kisses today and it was great

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Wednesday 2 October 1839 Travel Journal

7 ¼

12 ½

very fine morning – had Mrs. Wilson – paid her 175/. her bill of last week all but 2 or 3 rubels – breakfast over at 10 – before and after inking over yesterday and reading Schnetzler sun out – warm – F66 ½° in my secrétaire drawer and 50 ¼ north outside the window now at 10 ¼ am

out at 10 55/.. – in 7 minutes at the Podoroshna-office – 7/6 paid – (3.25 R. notes + 1 (20 and 1) 10 silver kopper price) – obliged to go up to sign my name – drove off at 11 20/.. and at the library at 11 25/.. Mr. Atkinson had put the books for us on the table – the 1st I took up was

New Russia – Journey from Riga to the Crimea by way of Kiev...... by Mary Holderness. London printed for Sherwood, Jones and co. Paternoster Row 1823. 8vo. broche – pp. 134.

SH:7/ML/TR/14/0031

October Wednesday 2 Riga timber superior and much dearer than Memel masts from Polish and Russian Ukraine on  the rivers Briganskie  (Desna) and Soelzs’s branches of the [?] – arrives at Riga in May   4-5/314

p. 10 one Polish britchka [britzka] and 3 kibitkas – party of 11 left Riga November 18 N.S. 1815.

p. 22 Reference to Tookes’ survey of Russia.

p.56 1 Russian pood = 36lbs.

p.59 Tookes’ history of Russia

p.61 handsome Turkish shawls from 500 to 2,000 Rubels no lady well dressed at Kiev without one –

p. 92 1 [archeen] (of cloth) = 2/3 English yard

p. 12 1898 versts from Riga to (p.92) Karagoss (in the Crimea) and reached that place 3 February  

p. 103 Dr. Clarkes’ description of Easter in his account of Moscow –

Fraehns’ [catalogue] of Persian Turkish and Arabian mss. ouvrages historiques  35

Poètes  107

Sciences spéculatives et arts 24

166.

this volume (folio) dated St. P. le 9 Avril 1829

18/30 Octobre 1829

Philologie

p. 131 1 Russian [Desaiteen] = 2 ¾ English acres

p. 142 for account of the Nogay tartars see Mr. Whittingtons’ memoir in Walpoles’ travels in the east.

p. 151 Dr. Hunt in his brief account of a Greek wedding says the bride is to be silent for 8 days

October Wednesday 2 p. 147 In the Crimea (at Kaffa [Feodosiia]) the Greeks speak Turkisk [Turkish] and Tartar as fluently as Greek – and many of Mrs. Holerness’ servants spoke 5 languages (Russia included)

p. 163 et seq. great praise of the Bulgarians (near Oddessa etc)

p. 178 the Karaites of whom Mr. Guthrie speaks etc. etc.

p. 190 – 1 the emperor from Moscow to St. P- 483 miles = 728 ½ versets in 36 hours – From Otchakoff on the black sea to St. P- (temple Catherine 2) 1200 miles in 5 days and nights – but the post from Kaffa [Feodosiia] to Moscow in 14 days = 66 miles per day –

p. 195 Lady Craven mistaken in saying rice is grown in the Crimea – no land there fit for it –

p. 197 Tartars there famous for management of bees – said that ‘some of them on seeing the bees at work on the flowers of the field, will directly tell to what village belong’ –

p. 203 ‘the English proprietor in the midst of neighbours and dependents, yet feels a lonely sojourner’...... probably Mrs. H- and her friends were of this no.? –

p. 211 Mrs. H- resided at Karagoss from February 1816 to March 1820.

p. 225 Greeks in Crimea [present] the custom of sprinkling a new-born infant with salt. Ezek. xvi. 4.

p. 231 et seq. account of a Tartar marriage

p. 244 account of Tartar funeral

p. 258 Russian bath heated by a trench full of stones. rendered hot by a furnace below.

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October Wednesday 2 vid. p. 259 et seq. on the food etc. of the Tartars – seldom ‘eat’ fresh milk – on coming from the cow, it is boiled and afterwards churned – the butter then melted and poured into a skin – the buttermilk put into a cask to receive the overplus of everydays consumption

p. 265 the fungus Amadou is boiled and beaten till tender and then dried for use – there is also a lighter kind than the above (which grows on trees) the excrescence of a plant – p. 266 Agirmish (in sight of Karagoss) supposed by Pallas to be the Cimmerian [?] of the ancients –

p. 278 harvest end of June or beginning of July – bearded wheat sown become less likely to shake. Arnoot or spring wheat is sown by Russians etc.

p. 279 Bulgarian – summer hotter winter colder than in

p. 280 England – winter of short duration – breaks up in February so as to plough – March often mild and warm –

Dubois de Montreux sur le Crimée Caucase etc. etc et Sur la Crimée l’ouvrage de un’ intendant

Indicateur des objets rare au musée de Moscow published by Paul de Svignine Imprimerie de Charles Kray St. P- 1826

Lady Craven the rein 1786 (spring) –

October Wednesday 2 Mr. Atkinson came to us – shewed us Lady Cravens’ travels and the guide du voyageur en Crimée par C.H. Montandon. Odessa. Imprimerie de la ville 1834. dedicated à son excellence Mr. le comte de Woronzow -  came away from the library at 2 ½ - Mr. Atkinson told us not to give anything – at the Hermitage palace – at 2 ¾ to 4 50/.. – sent by Whitaker my card wrote in pencil présente ses complimens [compliments] et ses remercimens [remercîments] très empressés à son excellence monsieur de Labrinksy – then in the salles – principally salle 5 and 40 and 41 – gave the man 5/. –

home at 5 55/.. – dinner over at 7 10/.. from the palace to Beligard – paid for map of Asiatic Russia monté 10/. + 10/. = 20/. – then home direct at 5 55/.. – ordered the carriage at 9am tomorrow to go to Alexandrovski [Alexandrovsky] – dressed dinner over at 7 10/.. – Mr. Bayley came at 7 ½ and staid till 10 – had tea – not good he allowed – to go to Chaplins’ for tea, and also to see his furs – tea at 100/. per lb. – and 25/. and B- drinks it at 9/. or 10/. a lb. – should see the brick tea – furs very dear – Mr. Law here has including the house (his rooms under the church) £800 a year – Mr. Cammidge reverend of Moscow has a congregation of about 70 – has an allowance from the Russian company – all the exporting to London Riga etc. merchants here must be are members of the Russian company – gave us a note for Cochranes’ travels in Russia and Bremners’ ditto – the church picture a copy from Rubens not Rembrandt – (in the salle with the Paul Potter (41) not given to the church by Sir William Ingleby – by some other baronet B- very civil – if we were going to stay would introduce his family – would be happy to do so on our return – a widowes 16 years but has had his wifes’ sister with him and his daughters – poor man!

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October Wednesday 2 has had a severe illness – appears much broken – came here in 1892 – d’origine from the neighbourhood of not far from Manchester – had called here on Mr. Harrison on the Thursday and he died on the Sunday – Captain Cochrane very excentric – thought to be rather besides himself – Mr. B- knew him – Dr. Granvilles’ work good, but too much on the favourable side – as Dr. Lefevre said nothing that was not true but all couleur de rose – Mr. Atkinson said this morning he knew G- met him in society but he has his note-book out, and made notes even comparatively of all that was said so that really people were afraid – Layard in a great hurry when at the Imperial library Mr. A- did not know or see much of him – he seemed chiefly anxious to copy M. Queen of Scots’ letters – and at this time A- was busy copying them to give to prince Alexander .......... who has published her inedited letters in 18vo. – on our return home this evening found 2 letters for Moscow and 1 for Odessa from Mr. de Fischer and his card, and found 2 letters from Mr. Hodson (John Esquire) for Moscow and one for Odessa, and one directed to me for A- from her sister – her aunt well as usual – Mr. Bayley made no offer of letters, and, of course, I did not ask me for any – did not name or hint at the subject –

at the Hermitage the Vierge d’Albe (salle 5) and the Paul Potter (vache qui [pisse]) and the 4 Clauds’ (salle 40) (morning noon and evening and night) worth all the rest – In salle 40 the chef-d’-oeuvre of Teniers’

October Wednesday 2 and the Rubens from which the English church picture is copied and in salle 41 some fine Murillos (the Repose in Egypt and the lady boy fleeing his dog) – and in salle some fine Van d’Eycks [van Dyck] –

Mr. B- said it must be 30 years since Lord Stuart was here – then Mr. Stuart – could not speak Russ[ian] well but could read it well – and spoke French and German well –

[thejosh1980]

Little Wing

(Trigger warning: animal/pet death)

Today, right now, I am sat at the spot where Mijo felt his last sunrise, just 24 hours ago.

He was 28 weeks old, he spent 20 of those weeks with me, and my family. He was my family. He was thrust upon me by my wife and mum, who knew Mijo would be the kind of birthday present I'd want, but could never ask for.

When he arrived he was unexpected. Straight from the car, into my bedroom, onto my lap, what a surprise, it was love at first sight. Those eyes, that tail, that round belly, the fur, I was all in. I had to say goodbye to 4 beautiful pets whom I loved dearly when I left Germany, so then and there I made a quiet, whisper promise to Mijo;

“I'll never ever leave you”...

We began like any other Daddy and cat story, playing, eating, talking to each other. We may have made a few messes on the bed learning to potty train, but I couldn't really fault him, he was perfect. He loved cuddles, got under our feet all the time, talked to us a lot and wanted to be a part of everything happening around the house.

He meowed very loudly too. Sometimes he'd meow from the next room sounding lost and worried. That's when I started to realized something was very different about him. It took about 2 weeks, but then I realized, he was totally deaf!!!! No vacuum cleaner, loud bangs, claps, or door slams could get his attention. When he meowed loudly, it was either because he had to, to feel himself meowing in his head, or he was missing us and could smell us, but not hear us in the next room. I had never had a cat who couldn't hear me call their name, so this was going to be a challenge.

Mijo accepted that challenge...

In a short time I figured out how to clicker train him, using a torch. I love training cats. Most folks think it's impossible, but I've taught cats to fetch, sit and come on command in the past.... So, pretty soon I had him jumping up, over and across chairs and tables on cue. I also learnt a way to “call” him; assuming he could see me, if I knelt down and tapped my leg, he'd come a running. Every time. We had it all figured out.

Grab a harness and a lead, and off we go, walking around the garden. This wasn't a cat, this was a dog. He had very little fear, I mean, he couldn't even hear the birds making a racket or the car driving by or the dog barking next door. He was fixated on me.

I bought him a blow up boat, to use in the pool, to help him get used to floating on water. It was a huge boat for his little size, but he'd hop in, and I'd “treat” him while he got used to the motion. The plan was to build him up to a real boat, or canoe or SUP. I could imagine him walking on water.

He was also great with other cats, so I could take him to visit his cousin and they'd play all day (if we'd let them). He'd come with me to visit other family and then... well, then the real adventures started. Mijo and I could go to the river, the park and the beach. We also went for coffee at the busiest part in the local village, and he took it all in his stride. We took bike rides too, as he sat in a special backpack I had for him. I could hold him while skateboarding or put him on my shoulder as I walked around. He was chill, happy to see and smell his silent world.

When Alex or I came home, and he'd be in the bedroom snoozing or gazing out the window, we could come in, take off our shoes, put our stuff down, maybe run to the loo, then we could snuggle up with him, cause he hadn't heard us arrive. He would just be waiting... He'd just wait for someone to step close enough, blow on his ear, feel a vibration and then he'd meow a big BIG hello, purr and snuggle. He was a no pressure cat... But always ready for hugs and pats.

Besides being deaf, he just didn't seem like any other cat I'd had or even met...

But isn't the way it is with all pets? They're all unique.

He loved Alex. He always had a hard decision between my lap and hers, or sleeping close to one or the other. We had a son to take care of, to love and to enjoy. At the beginning, Alex wasn't sure about having a cat, she'd pretty much always been a dog person, but it didn't take long for Mijo to wrap her around his little paw. She was hooked.

We thought he was going to be grow up to become a big boy. You know, Maine Coon sized 5-6 or maybe 7 kilo. We had high hopes for a dog-like cat, big enough to take on the world. We wanted to show him the world too.

After he had his snip (desexing) in mid March, he wasn't very well, and it really traumatized all of us, we just weren't sure why he took it so badly. He was in a lot of pain, even though the operation itself was quick and really good, with no issues. He would spend the day, in his “bread loaf” position, with his nose to the ground. It was like he was conserving all his energy for when we came home or wanted his attention.

Eventually, after a few weeks he bounced back, back to being his usual self, for a while. He actually lost a lot of fur during this time, most likely due to a reaction to the antibiotics and pain killers. Where his collar and harness were, he lost all his hair. It only took a few days, a bit too quick to realize what was going on, he rarely wore the collar or harness after that. It meant we sometimes lost him in the house without his bell on to tell which room he was in, so I'd be running around turning on and off the lights to get his attention and a meow.

It was our fun game of “Mijo Polo”.

We had noticed he wasn't eating as much, and he wasn't as playful. In fact, all his toys were being ignored, and he rarely chased anything we teased him with. When we took him for playtime with his cousin, he wouldn't last as long play fighting. Something was up, we thought he'd bounce back by now.

Overall, he was a very chilled cat, having just had an operation and now with, ringworm, a tooth problem (one adult tooth was causing him problems and needed to be pulled) maybe that was why he wasn't too interested in food. Surely it wasn't bacteria, an infection or a virus in his blood.

In early May, Mijo developed ringworm, which, by the way, isn't a worm but rather a fungal infection. The vet already had us on anti fungal cream day and night. It's very unusual to get ringworm; it's all around us, but a strong immune system, actually, a decent immune system, would fight off any infection naturally. Cats generally just lick it all off their fur. Humans sometimes get it, from a scratch or a wound. It's in the soil, it's in the air.

When we got the treatment for the ringworm, we also gave him an appetite stimulant, to encourage him to eat, but it made little difference. As nothing changed, we went back to the vet a few days later, and did a hypothyroidism test; the results were borderline.

What could be going on?

At the time of his desexing operation, he was 1.7 kilos, a week later he was down to 1.5 and eventually 1.45 kilo. His body was growing a little, but his muscle and fat wasn't.

We talked to the vet and decided, even though his ringworm was infectious, the tooth had to go, sooner rather than later. It seemed logical that it was his biggest barrier to fulfilling his dietary requirements and his well being. We wanted him fattening up, growing up, and being his usual self again, ASAP. We needed to get him back on track towards good health, enough was enough.

On Monday 17th May I dropped the little guy off at the vet for the day. A check up and a tooth pull.

Before any cat gets an anesthetic, they run a simple blood test to determine if the cat is well enough. During the day we got a call that the operation couldn't happen, and that he'd have to stay in over night or longer, with meds to help him, because his red cell blood count was low. 10%. Most cats need around 40%, if there's any complication with the tooth pull, his blood may not clot.

It's official, he was very unwell.

I was at school when I got the news. I was in shock. Our little boy was that unwell? But he does eat (a little), he does walk on the lead with me, he's eating his treats... was he that unwell?

Suddenly we had to decide on some expensive tests to figure out what was wrong with him. I mean, the red blood cells were being eaten up by the white ones, but why?? We arranged the suggested tests and they kept him in over night.

I was very distraught. How can my little guy be so unwell yet behave well? With that blood count, he shouldn't be able to walk, he should be so lethargic that he can't keep his head up!! He should be in a coma.

All in all, theoretically, he should be dead.

So was it dwarfism, hypothyroidism, mycoplasma??? And and and?? Tests... Blood being taken.. Our boy in the vet over night, alone, worried, scared??? Will he make it through the night? I didn't sleep well...

On Tuesday afternoon the vet let us bring him home. His blood level was down to 9.1%. The idea was that, at least at home he'd have cuddles and love, and that might help his immune system. He was lethargic but not completely terrible. I would need to bring him in on Wednesday for another blood test, to see how he was doing.

On Wednesday, it didn't go well, Mijo had gone from 9 to 8.1% blood level. It was now becoming almost impossible to get any blood out of him. I saw how difficult it was 2 weeks earlier when he had the hypothyroid test, they had to try on both legs and his neck to get a half mil of blood! He was a champ and barely complained. But now, I couldn't imagine the pain he went through with even less blood.

He's been that sick for how long?? Why hadn't we noticed?

We were panicking.

The vet suggested we meet with a mature, more experienced doc, on Thursday. We should be able to figure something out, we had to. Each day = less blood = more chance of...

Well, I am a hopeful guy. I realize, I live on hope. I spent years hoping certain people in my life would change, or love me in a way that I feel some love. I always hope things will change for the better. I don't know why, but it's ingrained in me to feel hopelessness or hope... I think I'm never in the middle... or is that called acceptance? OK, maybe I do feel that too, eventually... But it takes a long long time...

I have videos of Mijo on Thursday 20th, he's cleaning himself in the sun, meowing and purring, happy to see me, walking around the garden with me. Full of life and adventure.

At lunch time, Mijo and I go to the vet. He is his usual cute self, always curious at the vets, and now there's a the new guy he's meeting, what an adventure.

Before he opens the cat box he said something along the lines of “Well, because his blood levels are so low, today is really about deciding if he goes to heaven or not...” I'm not sure, but I know I heard words like “heaven” and “euthanasia” early on in the consultation. Shock was setting in. I barely heard anything else he said, luckily we had Alex on the speaker phone.

Turns out, not only is our little guy deaf, he's an anomaly.

Any cat with 8.1% should be comatose. They should barely be able to walk. They certainly can't pee or poo without help and don't drink or eat much. Mijo came out of his box and sniffed around, was alert and ready to meet the new guy!!

The vet was stumped. He had never seen this before, in over 30 years...

We didn't know he was so sick, because, he was, overall, a well behaved cat. His weight he lost, sure, but he was now at least stable. He was eating, it just took a lot of creativity sometimes to spark his interest (mostly warming up meals and giving him treats).

The vet tried to explain to me, but I'm sure Alex on the phone understood it clearly, that we had very little time, well, no time. We had 3 choices that day. Go to a specialist an hour's drive away, give Mijo steroids and hope he had mycoplasma or Immune mediated hemolytic anemia (IMHA) or, lastly, euthanasia.

Wait???? What does that even mean??

The specialist would give him a blood transfusion, and some special custom drugs which should help him. The vet said it could cost in the 10s of thousands, and may help Mijo for a few weeks, but it's not a solution that we are sure would be long term or not.

Giving Mijo steroids would give him a fighting chance, or not... Basically it could cure or kill him. Because we aren't sure what is the cause of the low blood count, it could be IMHA, mycoplasma or something else, but it's a best educated guess at this rate. If it is the wrong choice, he may die quicker than expected.

Euthanasia, no explanation needed.

We decided on steroids. According to the vet, there was a 50/50 chance it would work. If the cause of the blood cells killing off each other was for or against steroids, we'd know soon enough. Still shocked I tried to understand it all. I'm so grateful Alex was on the line and knows this stuff through experience and study.

The idea of taking Mijo an hour's drive north to the specialist, to a cubicle, a place where we may not be with him 24/7, on the off chance that he wouldn't make it and die alone, we couldn't fathom that.

Mijo took the steroid injection like a champ, he always did injections well. He was given some antibiotics to also help. The vet said, that by Saturday we'll know if it was the right decision. We'd know if he would be getting better...

It was decided that on Monday 24th we'd go back in for a blood test to actually see if the steroids were working (cause apparently one can't really tell with Mijo's behavior, the cheeky monkey).

Mijo and I came home, and well, he ate, he was purring, sitting on my lap. The usual deal. When I went out to get the washing in, he tried to go out too, something we, as parents, have been very protective about. He doesn't go out alone, he doesn't go out without a lead or a bell. He's not an easy cat to find if he runs off, not that he has ever tried. He deaf, he can't hear cars or other dangers out there.

I promised him I'd take him out to that side of the house/garden that afternoon...

So we did, we went out, we sat down, he explored. He was well, good, better, best. He was my boy. He trusted me, I trusted him. I'm always amazed how well he walks by my side, like a dog, with loose leash... Taking my steps as cues when to walk, and when to stop.

We also met the neighbor's dog, which was a first, both were not really interested in each other... But still, Mijo knew there's a lot to live for...

Overnight he went great... Woke up with him on my chest relaxing waiting for me to get up and feed him, luckily I have a wife who had to get up for work at that moment. I remember she sang him a lullaby and held him like a baby. It was really sweet to see how much love they had for each other. Rock-a-bye Mijo...

We wanted to him feel as much love as we could. We felt that, if the steroids and antibiotics were doing their part, and we did ours, there's nothing he can't beat. And he sure felt the love...

I held him while doing some singing exercises, close to my chest. It was something we hadn't done before, and he purred. He'd look up and meow every time I stopped making vibrations. He felt it, I felt it, it was a connection.

We spent a lot of time, reading, relaxing and sitting on laps. Alex and I cuddled him, told him we loved him. He was really fighting. He was eating. He was a little more playful than in recent weeks. He wanted to live. We could feel it...

He went from eating half a packet to 1.5 packets a day, plus dry food. He always wanted treats, and I was always glad to oblige.

By Saturday he was wonder cat! Kneading... Purring... Chasing toys... Eager to hang out...

We'd overcome the problem! He was getting better. There's fight, love and life left in him. He was amazing. If it hadn't been for his ringworm (which was also healing very very well) I'd say he was perfect, especially once he put on another few grams...

We had 4 awesome days, loads of energy and love. He was never alone in the house, and rarely alone in a room. We wanted him to know, to feel, that we loved him so deeply and that all we want was him in our life, for adventures and cuddles.

On Monday morning, his appetite went down... He didn't really eat much...

We all left for the day, work and school. I think we were all worried, but he'd been so good and improved so so much, that we were sure he'd be fine. We have the blood test booked for the afternoon, I'm sure he'll pep up by then. The injection could be wearing off too...

Mijo and I went in to the vet, and his test came back at 14%!!! Damn, that's 6 points!! The vet expected 3 to be a big improvement. In fact, if he had 3 or less, euthanasia may have been the only option... Happy days! He was well. He's going to live! He'll be fine.

We're not out of the woods yet, but we are in the right direction.

All that love we lavished on him, not just in the past days, but the past 4 months. The adventures, the friends he'd made (both human and animal) the smells and sights he'd seen, the vibrations he felt, it was all coming together... He was a fighter with a lot of love to give...

We were over joyed. Really, I couldn't have been happier when I got the results. I gave a “whoop” and threw my fist in the air (I've never done that before in my life!).

We changed to tablet form steroids, as they'll be better long term, keep up the antibiotics and off we go...

But we all know, that often people and animals, when they know they are dying, they give it one last shot. And that was it... We didn't realize until Wednesday, that he wasn't actually going to get better...

Mijo stopped grooming himself, he slowly ate less and less... He became more and more lethargic, he started to sit in the “bread loaf” position with his nose on the ground, as he did after the snip, resting. We thought it was the change in steroids, and as I was at school and the girls at work, we just kept thinking he'd pep up eventually.

When I left for school Wednesday morning, he was alert, but lethargic. When I came home early to check on him, he had really changed again.

His belly was a little bloated, but he had hardly eaten. He had trouble walking, it seemed like it was a mix of muscle degradation/pain and confusion. His meowing changed to a high pitch cry, similar to that of a young kitten. He also stopped eating, he wouldn't even touch any of his tasty treats. He searched for any bit of sun to stand in, but he was looking so uncomfortable, his posture had changed, half sitting, half standing. I was grateful, when I carried him to his water bowl, that he drank a lot. He also went to the toilet, I held his tail so he didn't make a mess on himself.

We spent the afternoon outside, as the sun started to set. He loved the sun, I wanted him to feel warmth... I held him, talked to him. I don't know now many times I asked him to please hold on, please fight and that I loved him. He looked more comfortable in the sun.

I did film us walking around the pool. I am forever grateful for technology, so that I could just put my phone down, touch a button and record a moment. As we walked and talked, oblivious to the camera, I recognized a change in his breathing... I may have missed it previously, but for sure, his breath was becoming more and more labored. Every 3 or 4 breaths, he just had to try harder... His eyes were changing too... But I was sure he could recognize me, the way the vibrations from my chest reached his body and the way I smell. He would react from time to time, shifting or clawing at me.

He often touched my chest with his paw. Reaching out...

Mum and I went to the vet late Wednesday afternoon, the earliest we could. I explained it must be the change of steroids. No, it wasn't. They were the same type, it was just that he wasn't able to fight anymore. We discussed the specialist, called them and made a plan to go in first thing in the morning. I arranged for a friend to come with me, and Thursday morning bright and early, we were going up to get Mijo cured. Transfusion, drugs, you name it, we were going to do it. We had to, we told him we'd make him better.

There and then, Alex and I decided to trade in our honeymoon, you know from the wedding we had 13 months ago and still haven't done the traditional thing of a week or two away somewhere. We decided the money we had aside for that, would go to Mijo's specialist costs, because without Mijo, our honeymoon, whatever and whenever we decide to do it, wouldn't be worth doing, if he wasn't around.

I made a firm plan on how to help him through the night. We would hold him in shifts... All 3 of us... If one showered, the other held him. Dinner time, we shared the responsibility, not that we ate much anyhow. We cuddled, we talked, we purred, I would blow gently on his head... He was feeling love and he was fighting...

Because he hadn't eaten all day, we decided to try feeding him with a syringe, with success. With the tablets we were putting into his stomach, I felt he needed something else down there too... With a small syringe, he took it well, lapping up a tasty liquid treat.

When it was bed time, we put pillows around the bed, incase he fell, because he was very wobbly on his feet. He would cry out at random times, possibly from pain, but I think more from confusion. He sometimes wanted to get away from us, as we know, pets know when it's time and usually disappear, isolate.

We barely slept. I managed about 3 hours... But it was tough.. He wouldn't stay still, and eventually we put him in his little bed, near our bed... Of course he didn't stay there long.

At 4am I heard him crying... I found him under the bed... Alex woke up too... His breathing had changed a lot... Every breath was labored. He wasn't getting enough oxygen.

I laid on my back, and Mijo laid on my chest. This was how it often was, especially when I was reading... We did that until around 7am... Alex taking turns, holding him, talking to him, loving him. Mijo could barely hold himself up, he just laid in our arms... Breathing... His eyes began to glaze over...

We discussed our options, we felt the specialist was now a long shot. We didn't think he'd make the drive, he was near the end. Our little man had little fight left... And we wouldn't forgive ourselves for him dying in a foreign place. There were a lot of tears and back and forwards, including mum coming in for cuddles with the little guy at 5am...

Alex called the emergency vet, and we planned to go in at 8:30... Mijo's time had come...

When the sun comes up, if the blind is open in our bedroom, the sun shines right on through to Alex in bed, Mijo was in her arms, while she drank coffee as the sun rose.

Sometime later I took the little guy out to the pool, where we walked and talked, cuddled and loved, around and around, in the morning sun. I talked to him about all the adventures we had, riding bikes, visiting people, the beach and the river. I spent most of that hour, holding him, looking to his eyes... He gazed up, I just hope he knew it was me. I just knew he felt the vibrations of my words.

We both told him, it was OK to let go now. We were ready. But he kept on fighting for each breath... I think he was just like his Dad, always hopeful..

He last moments at home, where in the chair I'm sat in now. It gets the best light, first thing, even though it's inside the “catio”. Alex had sat down while I was walking outside, I seem to do better when I walk, and I brought him in for cuddles with her in the sun... He was bathed in sunshine, in Alex's arms... It was beautiful...

Actually getting in the car and going to the vet, was tough, but it really hit me when I walked in. I held the little guy, and just burst into middle-aged-man tears and sobbing... If you were there, you'd know I was my mother's son, cause she was sobbing too... I couldn't look anyone in the eye... I didn't understand what was going on, or about to go on...

I think I was in another place...

We went into a consult room, and I just laid the little guy down, not thinking of using the blanket we had... The vet explained the procedure and took him away for his catheter and first injection, some anesthetic? I don't know, but apparently it was the right thing, it helped with his pain.

I couldn't even look Alex or Mum in the eye... I just cried...

I still had hope...

When they came back, Mijo was wrapped in a soft blanket, what a great idea...!! He was quieter, more peaceful... The vet left to give us a moment...

He was still breathing, still fighting... I put my ear to his face, and heard him...

I kept making sure his eye lids closed from time to time. I remember back when Catalina, my little girl in Germany, needed to be anesthetized for a check up. The vet put some put liquid drops in her eyes and made her blink, so her eyes didn't dry out... So for Mijo, I did that every once in a while... I didn't want his eyes to dry up... I wanted him to be able to see me, because laying on that table, he couldn't hear me.

I begged Alex not to bring the vet back in for the final injection... I think I may have screamed something at her... I don't know... I wasn't me... I was trying to hold him in my arms, without moving him... I was trying to give him another chance...

I bawled...

I don't know if I have ever cried like that before... I thought I'd be all cried out... I thought all my tears had already left the building the previous hours and days... But there was more... a lot more... and more to come...

I know that Alex and I held hands over his body... I felt the love... I felt his warmth... his breathing... I know I cried tears onto him, there were tear drops on his lips...

I looked him in the eye as much as I could, but mostly, I cried...

I felt the liquid go into him, I felt it go around my hand into him...

I don't know much about what happened after that... I know I didn't want to leave him, I had promised him I would never do it. I regret not holding him once more... I know that at that moment, I felt the life drain out of me... I felt hope die...

I walked out, not knowing what to do, and flopped down on the grass outside... I never sit on grass, but Mijo liked it...

I managed to drive home...

That was yesterday...

Since then I've tried to rest, tried to come to grips with what has happened, tried to connect with a few friends, I've tried... I'm still trying...

This morning I got up wanting to do some sport, washing, then study and take on the day with confidence... It's a new day, I should take that opportunity to get back into my routine... It took all of 1 minute, from bed to bathroom, to be bawling... Except for the time I manage to calm down enough to type this blog, I've been crying... It's now 10am... I was awake at 6:15...

We are running out of tissues..

I felt so bad this morning, I wanted to plead with Alex not to go to work, because I just can't today. I just can't. We have discussed how she copes in these situations, and I know that's how she copes, by going to work, so I kept my trap shut. I just want her to hug me all day, so I can feel her warmth.

I cried so much on the drive to drop mum off at work this morning, she started crying too, and contemplated not going to work... She wanted to be there for me, but I told her, honestly, I don't think I'd be much company today.

I don't know the grieving process, we haven't learnt that in counseling school yet, but I do know, I'm feeling very lost... I feel very numb...

I can't explain it, and maybe that's why folks can never really explain how they feel after someone close to them, or their pet, has passed. We are just lost.

I also feel that I am grieving for my other losses in my life. It's a bit like, it's a culmination of all the others before him, plus him on top, making me feel pain like I have never experienced before.

Grief is just love, with no place to go... Alex and I talked about that quote last night. I used this quote to help me through leaving my 4 pets in Germany, I know I have to find a new place for my love, but for now, I just can't.

I know I couldn't have gotten through this without the support of my Mum and Alex...

While Mum cries at the drop of a hat, she is solid and thoughtful and loving. Alex is strong and experienced in these matters. She knew what to say, and when, even if I did yell back… Both have a lot of time and patience for me.

I know Alex and Mum feel bad, maybe even guilty, for choosing him. Mijo was a present, to give me joy and love and comfort. And he sure did, in multitudes, to all of us. I would never have gotten a cat back then, I didn't feel Alex or I were ready, we were still working through our issues with our pets in Germany.

Alex and I decided that we want Mijo home with us. He was only on this earth for 6.5 months, we expected him to be with us for 10+ years. Taken too early. Once he's cremated we'll have him in a little urn. He was so small, but if there's a little left over, we will either plant a tree with his ashes or sprinkle him down by the river, the first place he went to that was close to water.

The past day or so, I have shared what happened with some friends, classmates and family, and everyone has been so thoughtful and caring. Thank you, it's really helped to know you're all out there, thinking of the little guy. He would have loved to meet you all.

He was perfection. If someone else had gotten him, realized he was deaf, they may not have given him the adventures and life he had. Mum considers him a rescue cat...

So here I am, in the chair, his last chair in his last moments at home.

I can still smell him on my shirt. When I walk around the house, dazed, I sniff my shirt. He had a wonderful smell. The smell of love and adventure. I hope that smell lasts a life time.

I miss his warmth, his meow, which was damn loud!! I miss, that sometimes he'd get lost around the house... Or he'd lose me, around the house. He was gentle, and only bit me once, by accident, piercing my thumb a little. I miss the fact he had 1 tooth growing forward, directly out, making him a tri-toothed kitten with a protruding top lip! He took on the world without fear. I've never experienced anything like it in a cat. My girl Catalina did sit on my shoulder as I walked down the street in Germany, but Mijo, he let me go skateboarding with him, played guitar with me (he'd chew the strings) and one time, I even vacuumed his tail.

All trust. No fear.

Back when he lost all his hair around his neck and stomach after his snip operation, we were pretty concerned. Funnily enough, it grew back pretty quickly, but it grew back white, not grey. He had a ring around his neck and kind of marks on his back wrapping around to his belly. Alex googled it, and actually found out, cats can often have their hair grow back white after trauma or experiencing extremes of temperature if their hair was cut short or fell out.

About a month ago, I sent my dearest of friends, Sandra, a photo of his regrowth, and she commented looks like “little angel wings”...

Fly on little wing, fly on...

RIP Mijo Angus

12-11-2020 – 27-05-2021

Thanks for reading,

Josh

[foursideharmony]

The Cat, the Prince, and the Doorway to Imagination (Chapter 6)

Summary: Logan goes for help. It doesn’t go well, but help (?) arrives anyway. Meanwhile, Patton makes a discovery.

Pairings: Platonic/familial LAMP/CALM, Platonic/familial DLAMPR

Content Warnings: There are some pretty hairy descriptions of violence in this chapter--brief, but potentially vivid. Also, Remus is finally involved, so watch out for that.

Word Count: 4,445

Read on AO3: here

People often underestimate how fast bears can run. They're so bulky, and most of the time are content to lumber along in an unhurried fashion. The best way to stop underestimating them is surely to be chased by one—anyone who experiences that will remember bears as the speedy animals that they actually are for however long the rest of their life might be.

The second-best way, though, might just be to ride one at a full gallop over miles of Narnian countryside.

Logan wondered just how fast they were going—he estimated between 35 and 40 kilometers per hour. With visual cues, he could have pinpointed their average speed more precisely, but he was clinging to Stoutpaws's back with his head down to minimize air resistance and his eyes closed to keep the freezing wind out of them. The bear's fur was unpleasantly coarse and smelled of a cloying mixture of dirt, honey, and wild animal, but Logan pushed all that to the back of his mind. This was necessary.

It was hours before they paused, and then only so Stoutpaws could shuffle to the top of a small bluff and confirm their destination. “That wood there,” he said, pointing with one paw. “Lantern Waste. That's where you came from, right, sir?”

“If the word 'Lantern' in the name refers to an antique lamppost stationed in the woods and inexplicably in operation, then yes. I believe the door we came through is just beyond it.”

“You use a lot of big words, don't you, sir?”

“I value precision in communication.”

They continued. Another hour brought them to the edge of Lantern Waste, and Stoutpaws slowed and let Logan dismount so that they could navigate more carefully. “Thus far, I do not recognize any specific landmarks,” the Logical Side noted after a time. “But it occurs to me that the lamppost is a unique feature in this forest, composed primarily of cast iron in contrast to the natural wood and stone that surrounds us. And I am given to understand that bears have an exceptionally keen olfactory sense. Perhaps you could locate it by scent?”

“I can certainly try, sir.” Stoutpaws reared up on his hind paws and turned his head from side to side with great nostril-flaring sniffs.

“As long as we are conversing, I would like to mention that there is no need to address me with an honorific. If you wish, you may call me by my name: Logan.”

“Oh no, sir, I couldn't do that. You're to be King, after all. And a fine one you'll make with your careful way of speaking, if I do say so myself.”

Logan found that he had no response to that. He recalled that the original book ended with the four children being crowned as monarchs of Narnia, but he couldn't say the prospect appealed to him. Neither did it pall, however. Still, he was pretty sure Stoutpaws had just complimented him, so he offered a nod of appreciation when he next met the beast's eye.

“No iron yet,” Stoutpaws was saying, “but I think the wind is against me. And there's something else...” He awkwardly pivoted on his paws, smelling to the northeast. “Hang on, that's the scent of reindeer! And lacquered wood! It's a sleigh! It's him—the White Warlock! He's after us!” He dropped back down to all fours and began pacing in a tight circle. “What shall we do, sir?”

“Let me up,” said Logan. “Head deeper into the wood and keep trying to smell out the lamppost.”

“I can't outpace the Warlock's sleigh!”

“Do your best, then, to buy us some time, and I'll work out a plan in the meantime.”

“Yes, sir!”

Stoutpaws took off at a dead gallop through the wood. They hadn't gone far when his nostrils flared wide and he declared, “I smell iron! ( puff, puff ) At least we're heading ( puff ) the right way!”

But just as they came within sight of the incongruous fixture, they began to hear, from somewhere behind them, the jingle of sleigh harness. “Oh, sir, he's coming ! He'll catch us for sure!”

Logan found himself wincing at the young bear's plaintive tone. “Let me down here.” Stoutpaws skidded to a halt and Logan dismounted once again. The sound of the sleigh was not as close as they had feared; Roman must have had to slow down among the trees. “I'll make it the rest of the way to the wardrobe on my own. You find a place to hide, and if anything should go wrong...please return to the others and let them know.”

“Nothing doing, sir! I-I promised to protect you with my life!”

“The best way for you to protect any of us right now is with information. Remember that, Stoutpaws. Knowledge is far more precious than strength or speed or even magic. Get yourself behind cover. Protect what you know.”

Stoutpaws's eyes were wide under his ears, half-flattened with fear. “Yes, sir,” he said meekly, before loping away toward denser brush. Logan stooped to pick up a pebble as the sound of the sleigh drew nearer and turned to sprint toward the lamppost just as it broke through the closest layer of trees and he heard Roman's bark of triumph.

Logan's turn of speed surprised even him, but he supposed it was only to be expected with the combination of adrenaline and fresh, unpolluted air. He had nothing on a reindeer-drawn sleigh, however, and with the grove of the wardrobe mere yards away, he felt a whiff of animal breath on the back of his head. In the next instant, he hurled the pebble as hard as he could into the grove and flung himself to one side in order to avoid being run down, losing his coat in the process. He landed hard, half-winded, the chill of the snow biting into his suddenly unprotected forearms, and wasn't able to pick himself up as quickly as he liked. He had only managed to raise himself up to his knees before Roman stood over him, looking every bit as menacing as he had that morning.

“I would have thought Virgil would be the one to try and escape. Did you really think I'd let any of you just leave?”

“Roman,” Logan panted, “this is highly uncharacteristic behavior for you. I would adv—”

“Spare me, Pointdexter, you're not my guidance counselor!” He reached out, and Logan found his chin forcibly tipped up by the end of what seemed to be an ornately carved icicle. “What was that you threw just then, Logan?”

Logan met his gaze with rock-steadiness. “A message.”

Roman's eyes widened and he turned to shout at his Dwarf attendant. “Hurry up! Get in there and intercept it!”

“Yes, Your Majesty!”

Roman watched him scamper off before turning back to Logan. “It must suck to get so close to your goal and then fail at the last minute.”

Now that it was just the two of them, Logan noted, Roman had reverted to a more colloquial mode of speech. He carefully said nothing, balanced precariously between the desire to keep Roman talking and perhaps obtain clues to his precise mental state and how it had come about...and the need to avoid angering him further.

“Well? Don't you have anything to say?”

So much for remaining quiet... “I regret this course of events.”

“Funnily enough, I don't. Strike a pose, nerd.” Roman raised the icicle over his head, and Logan realized, just too late to defend himself, that it was actually a magic wand. He reflexively cringed away, taking whatever small comfort he could from the fact that he had succeeded at every part of his plan that was under his direct control...

  Patton decided to go for a walk. He'd had no luck at all cheering the Narnians up—if anything, their sadness was piling up on him, worsening his own—and he had reached the point where it was either get some fresh air and solitude, or have a breakdown in front of everyone.

Virgil insisted upon making sure it was safe first. They sent out a Talking Dog called Scuffer and a Raven by the name of Sallowpad out to scout the area by land and air, respectively, and make sure none of the enemy were nearby. Then one of the Fauns loaned Patton his pipes, so that he could blow an alert in case of any surprises. Thus equipped, Patton bundled into his fur coat and scrambled out of the shelter just ahead of the tears that were threatening to fall. The cold, clean air helped him gulp them back for the time being, and once he got farther from the camp, farther from all those forlorn faces and despondent voices, the space under the trees, with only his own quietly crunching footsteps and misty breaths for companions, helped to dissipate the horrid feelings.

Everything was going wrong. He couldn't deny that. The story wasn't going the way it should, not at all, and he and Virgil and Logan weren't familiar enough with it to figure out what the problem was and nudge it back on track, and he'd tried talking to the Narnians about the White Witch but their responses were always about the White Warlock as if whatever was going on with Roman had overwritten her, and...and...and...

And if Patton understood the situation with the Dryads correctly, Roman had just ordered someone killed in cold blood. She was just a figment of the Imagination, but it was still a cruel, vicious, tyrannical act! He just couldn't wrap his mind around the idea of Roman, the noble fairy tale prince, doing something like that. But he knew he had to fix it, but how could he, when he couldn't figure out how it had come about?

How could he, when he couldn't even inject a little cheer into a ragtag group of talking animals and fantasy creatures?

He came to a small clearing—well, more of a space between large trunks. The branches of the trees arched overhead, nearly meeting in the middle, so that in the summer, with everything in full leaf, the ground beneath would be too shaded to let anything other than ferns and moss grow. Right now, of course, there was nothing but a thick layer of snow covering a slightly thinner layer of dead leaves...except in one spot, where there was a patch of sun that seemed to have built up just enough warmth to let the snow melt and reveal the musty earth.

And sitting in that patch of sun was a cat.

Despite everything, Patton almost laughed out loud—probably the only outdoor spot in all of Narnia that was even a little warm, and a cat had found it. The stifled laugh came out as more of a snort, and the cat—which had been lying down in a semi-circle with its back to him—twisted its head to see where the noise had come from. “Hiya, kitty,” Patton said shyly. “I didn't mean to bother you.”

The cat stood up, yawned, stretched, and sat. Now facing Patton, it looked up at him with intensely golden eyes. It was a handsome creature, with long, tawny-colored hair that didn't seem to have picked up any mats or burrs.

“I sure wish I could pet you,” Patton went on. “I think I could use some furry snuggles right now, but I'm afraid you'd set off my allergies.”

The cat hopped to its feet and walked up to the Moral Side, turning its body sideways as it approached. It stopped about a foot shy of making contact with his legs and gazed up at him, as if asking permission. “Well...” Patton said, “...I guess a minute or two can't hurt. If anyone asks I can blame my symptoms on the cold air.” He stooped and held out his hand, and the cat rammed itself against his legs before half-rearing up to rub its head against his outstretched knuckles. “Heh, listen to me, planning to tell a fib. I must be hanging out with Janus too much. Wow, you sure are friendly, aren't you? Do you talk at all? No? I guess even here, not everything can talk.”

He slouched until he was sitting with his back against one of the trees and shifted from letting the cat rub his hand to actively running his fingers through the fur of its head. “I just don't want Virgil to think I'm not being careful. I don't think I could stand disappointing anyone else today, you know?” He sniffed a few times and couldn't tell whether it was hay fever or his emotions starting to spill over again. “I don't understand what's happening , kitty. One of my best friends is acting like the bad guy! And he's always been so idealistic! He hates evil! What could possibly make someone do a one-eighty like that?”

He leaned his head back against the tree trunk and closed his eyes. The sun must have been hitting the wood too, because it felt incongruously warm against his scalp. He continued to card his fingers through the cat's thick fur as fat tears finally began to leak from between his eyelids. Not hay fever, then. He didn't bother holding them back anymore. No one was around to be annoyed or to make a fuss over poor, sensitive, fragile Patton. It was just him and this startlingly affectionate feral cat. For a few minutes, he let the tears flow. They didn't freeze on his face—it wasn't quite that cold—so that was all right. They did make his cheeks burn a little from the salt and the chill of evaporation, but that was all part of the cleansing process. There was no better short-term therapy for icky feelings than a good cry.

The faucet gradually shut itself off. He suddenly envisioned Roman, the White Warlock, with his too-pale coloration and his huge ermine train and his icy crown with that monster diamond on it and his retinue of horror creatures. The image was unusually clear in his mind (Patton's imagination had always worked more based on how things made him feel, not how they looked), almost as if it were a painting that he could scrutinize at his leisure. For some reason, his attention kept getting drawn back to that diamond. Patton grew very pensive. If the diamond was drawing his notice, then maybe his gut had picked up on something important about it, and Patton was not in the habit of ignoring his gut. Not when it craved chocolate chip cookies, and not in situations like this.

He had to file the thought away for later, because the cat was suddenly pawing at his leg. “What is it, buddy? Are we done with pets?”

The cat ran a short distance away, stopped, and looked back over its shoulder at him, blinking meaningfully.

“You want me to follow you? Okay, gimme a sec to get up.” He braced against the tree and heaved himself to his feet, then let the cat lead him out of the clearing.

(He completely failed to notice that the snow dwindled away under its paws, only to return as it passed.)

He followed his guide for perhaps fifteen or twenty minutes, to a small grove of evergreens, like a forgotten Christmas tree farm. He hadn't know what to expect, but he was surprised anyway by the sight of none other than Ailim, kneeling near the center of the grove, her posture slumped. Directly in front of her was the stump of a pine tree that had been sawn off about two feet above the ground. The cut looked quite fresh, and—oh. Oh. Oh...heck.

“Ailim?” he said.

“Oh!” she responded, startled. “It's Patton, isn't it? What are you doing here?”

“My new fuzzy friend brought me.”

She just looked perplexed. “What friend?”

Patton looked around, but the cat was suddenly nowhere to be seen. “Well, he was here...I guess he led me here for a reason.”

“I apologize for appearing in this unseemly state.”

“No, please don't! You have every right to be out of sorts! Do you...maybe...want to talk about it?”

She looked downcast again. “There is little enough to talk about. The Hags divined the whereabouts of Muricata's tree and the party dragged us both here. She could barely keep her feet, so they made me hold her up. They used a saw. I felt her agony as her trunk was gouged apart.”

Patton flinched. His gorge rose slightly.

“When the tree fell, I felt the life leave her. Then she vanished from my arms. My sister...she is gone from the world. It is as if she had never sprouted.”

Patton rushed forward, shrugged out of his coat, and draped it over the miserable Dryad. She wasn't crying, but she evidently had been earlier; twin trails of hardened yellow resin ran from her eyes down to her chin. “I'm so sorry,” he murmured. Beyond that, he was at a loss. He wanted to promise her to make it better, but...her sister was gone . Murdered. Cut down in her prime (literally).

They hadn't even been neat about it. The stump was scarred with a shallow cut well below where it had eventually been felled. Patton ran his fingers over it, his heart squeezing in vicarious anguish. It seemed they had tortured Muricata first...but Ailim hadn't mentioned torture in her brief description of the execution.

As if she could tell what he was thinking, she said, “They started there, but the Warlock told them to do it higher up instead. I don't know why.”

Patton's heart was suddenly hammering against his ribs. This felt important . What was he looking for? What was the difference between the lower cut and the upper one, that Roman would make that call? Did he just want a convenient place to sit down in the forest? No, that was silly. Patton wished he were smart like Logan so he could figure out this sort of thing. He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again they refocused of their own accord at the farther edge of the cut stump, where there was a sprig of greenery...

Patton walked around and peered closely at a few sprouts of fresh green needles growing directly out of the side of the trunk, as happens on pine trees. “Um...Ailim?,” he said, his voice wobbling with uncertainty, “I don't know if this helps at all, but this tree isn't totally dead. They left a growing part.”

“What?” Ailim said breathlessly, letting the coat fall from her shoulders as she sprang up. She leaned over the stump without touching it, peering at the needles. “You speak the truth. There is life left in the tree; it may yet regrow.” She gathered an armload of snow from the forest floor and spread it over the top of the stump. “In the meantime, this will protect it.”

“Does that mean your sister would come back?”

“I cannot say. The tree might acquire a new spirit, or Muricata might emerge again but without her previous memories. Or it might remain an unawakened tree, alive but with no sentient soul. But it seems that for all his wickedness, the White Warlock chose to leave this door open.”

“Yeah...” Patton said. “He made sure they cut above the growth. And he let you go. Ailim, will you come back to the camp with me? Everyone will be glad to see you're okay, and I think we should all sit down and try to figure out what it means that Roman did this. My head's starting to hurt from trying to solve these puzzles on my own.”

“Nevertheless,” said Ailim, fetching Patton's coat and offering it back to him, “you spotted this sign. You have given me a measure of hope, however slim. Thank you, Patton.”

And as they started back toward the Hill of the Stone Table, Patton began to feel like a few things were going right after all.

Halfway there, it suddenly occurred to him that the cat hadn't set off his allergies in the slightest.

Huh. That was weird.

Anything can happen in the Mindscape. Expect, as they say, the unexpected.

But Janus was of the opinion that there was no excuse for him to be walking along the upstairs hallway simply minding Thomas's business and suddenly get jumped out of nowhere. One instant everything was normal, the next he was flat on his back, struggling to hold a knife away from his face while the wielder of the knife, who had bulbous features and a shocking quantity of beard, was snarling at him. He caught something about a message and a warlock, but his attacker seemed to have worked himself up into a lather long before encountering Janus and was, in the main, unintelligible.

This left Janus with no clue what the fellow wanted, and when you don't know what someone wants you can't give it to them (or convince them that you've given it to them and pocket the difference) and get them to stop trying to stick a knife in your eye. Add to that the fact that he'd been completely unprepared for this, and that his attacker was noticeably stronger than himself, and Janus was well and truly up [Censored for indelicate language] Creek, sans paddle.

If there was one thing he hated, it was not being in quiet control of a situation. If there was one thing he utterly despised, it was having to adapt on the fly.

Well, if anyone in the Mindscape knew how to cope with [Censored] Creek...besides, this was probably his fault anyway.

“REMUSSSSSS!!!” Janus hissed, even though he was trying not to. High stress had that effect on him.

He heard, in the following order: rapidly approaching footsteps, “What's u—WOW!”, a sickening crunch as Remus's morningstar made contact, and the heavy thump of a body hitting the wall. Then Janus was free. He sat up to take stock.

His attacker was definitely dead, given the shape of his head, and he was a lot shorter than Janus would have assumed given his strength—a fantasy dwarf, then. That was all he was able to discern before the being evaporated into sparkling motes of light that dissipated: proof positive that he had been a figment. “Mind explaining what that was all about, Your Disgrace?” he said.

Remus was pouting at his weapon, probably because the victim's blood had also vanished. “Your guess is as good as mine, my favorite phallic symbol. Must have been one of my brother's.”

That gave Janus pause. He'd assumed, once Roman barged in on the morning's assemblage and then the entire cadre vanished for the day, that he had taken them on a jaunt in the Imagination...but to let a mayhem-oriented figment out unsupervised? That suggested...difficulties. And when he considered the dwarf's vague reference to a message...hm.

“Purely in the interest of maintaining order in this psyche,” he said in the most chipper tone he could manage, “I am going to get to the bottom of this.” He stood up, dusted himself off, and headed for Roman's room.

Remus, unsurprisingly, was right behind him. “Sounds like a blast! There's always plenty to maim when Roman gets into adventure mode! I'm coming too!”

“I'd be simply delighted to have your company,” said Janus. Remus, bless him, either missed the sarcasm or didn't care.

Roman's room was a mess, which was nothing out of the ordinary. This mess appeared to be the result of a deliberate ransacking, which was. Presumably the dwarf was the culprit; perhaps he'd been looking for the “message.”

The doorway to the Imagination, which had taken the form of a large wooden double-doored cupboard, stood wide open. One door actually hung askew from a single hinge, befitting the overall atmosphere of the room. Janus summoned his crook as a precaution before stepping inside.

About a minute later, he was already having regrets. Roman had made some sort of winter wonderland, and Janus's semi-reptilian biology was already starting to protest being made to function in the low temperatures. He turned up his collar, pulled down his hat, and tucked his free hand into his capelet, but he was going to have to find more layers somewhere. Maybe he could get Remus to create him a nice wool coat. Or some longjohns. (Although he was hesitant to ask, as he wouldn't put it past the Duke to instead grant him a yak pelt so fresh that it was still bleeding.)

“Hey, look, someone made an ice sculpture of the buzzkill!”

Janus looked up from his ruminations. Remus had indeed discovered a life-sized, transparent statue of Logan, but upon closer inspection, it proved to be not ice but rock crystal (silicon dioxide, as Logan himself would specify). The Logical Side was depicted kneeling, leaning back on one hand and flinging the other one up and out as if in self-defense. His expression was decidedly alarmed, and taken as a whole, the presentation made Janus distinctly uneasy. And the more he inspected the sculpture, the more that feeling grew. The thing was unreasonably detailed. He could make out the knit texture of his polo shirt and individual strands of hair...and because it was transparent, he could see that the carving went layers deep—Logan's necktie ran completely around underneath his shirt collar, and his eyes were engraved behind the lenses of his glasses.

“Welp!” Remus was saying, raising his morningstar. “Smashy smashy!”

The horrible truth dawned on Janus just in time. He lashed out with his crook to snag Remus's ankle and pull him off-balance before he could bring the weapon down.

“Awwwww! What did you do that for, J-Anus?”

Janus found himself trembling, and no longer could he blame it entirely on the cold. “Speaking purely as a hypothetical,” he said with an embarrassing creak in his voice, “what if that weren't, by the strictest definition, a sculpture?”

Remus tilted his head in confusion. “Well, what else would it...” His kohl-rimmed eyes widened in some chaotic hybrid of shock and glee. “Nooo! You mean someone's gone and put the ol' Medusa whammy on Geekboy?”

“Obviously.” Janus looked around the snowy forest, wary of everything. “I think,” he said, choosing his words with the utmost of care, because they were the truth, “that there is a great deal of trouble afoot here.”

[brightsun-and-darkmidnight]

The Match Maker

TITLE: The Match Maker

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 1

AUTHOR: brightsun-and-darkmidnight

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: 

Imagine not being able to have children for some reason. Perhaps Reader has dogs/cats/animals as their child(ren). Now, imagine readers most mischievous animal child getting Loki to meet reader.

(I need this. If the animal’s name is Loki, AND if written in the pet’s point of view)

+

Imagine being woken by an odd thumping noise, as of a falling body, coming from your living room in the middle of the night. When you go to investigate, you find a very perplexed Loki flat on his back on the floor, with your cat loafing on his chest, purring like a buzzsaw and giving you an incredibly proud look, as if to say, “Hi, human! Look what I caught for you!”

NOTES/WARNINGS: Manipulation. Manipulative relationship. A splash of angst. And a sprinkle of NSFW. 

AUTHOR'S NOTES: thanks to @cateyes315 for the help.

Summary: Gabriella has a family guardian that is determined to find her soulmate. Having a perfect match maker is not always desired because every deal has a catch.

My Ao3: brightsun_and_darkmidnight

*FINALLY..Read the warnings. Once you agree you can handle it...

 ~ ~ ENJOY  ~ ~

I woke for no reason other than for bathroom needs. Muttering, "I had to choose to be an animal guardian…."

Nature called and I had to use the cursed animal door to get outside, like a normal animal would.

A portal opened up near the house and I watched a young boy clad in leather armor with a slim form. His dark hair was blown as he emerged with a stumble. He looked around in wonder as he passed by the bush I was hiding under. He stopped before looking around.

"This must be Midgard."

My eyes narrowed and studied the boy.

I went to him to get a closer examination. With a "meow" he turned, and naturally he was unsure if I was a safe inhabitant of this foriegn world. I stood still and stared at him. He reached for me and irritation flew through my tail… I hated being pet. However it needed to be done so I could smell him. I watched his face shift from uncertainty to joy as he pet me. I nuzzled into his hand and I could not believe it. There had to be more tests to decide for sure but I was already certain… Now if my.. human would allow such a thing to happen -That was highly unlikely.

I nuzzled into him and trailed through his legs. I lead him to my door and he was able to open the door…. I am going to have to yell at her about locking the doors again. This young man walked through the house seeming unimpressed with everything until he saw the cabinet of family heirlooms. Pictures of my past forms taking care of ancestors of my stubborn human.

He looked at the frames with various pictures. I was proud of my various forms I could take. Unfortunately once my human would decide I would be stuck in that form for the rest of their life. Until the next generation would need me.

"How interesting…"

The boy walked around the room and I was convinced he was the one but now time to wake my dear human.

<><><><>

Gabriella woke with a jolt. She heard a terrible thump. Looking at the cat bed near the window to find it was empty.

"Loki?" There was no answer and she put on her bathrobe. "I wonder where he could be. Must be getting into the cat nip again…"

She walked through the house turning on lights and heard a velvety soft voice that made her skin tingle.

Turning on the light to the livingroom Loki was... looking comfortable and proud as he laid on top of a man.

Gabriella gasped at the beautiful porcelain skin, dark hair and gorgeous emerald eyes.

His eyes widened at the sight of her.

Loki purred loudly and proudly spoke, "Hi human. Look what I got for you!"

Gabriella went to pick up the guardian from the captivating male. She quickly chidded. "Loki get off of him!"

The man asked in bewilderment as he stood, "Loki? Your companion's name is Loki?"

Oh that velvet voice sent goosebumps to Gabriella's skin.

She looked at the man as he stood.

In leather… with some metal… an extremely odd choice of clothing.

Gabriella remained calm knowing her guardian Loki would keep her safe. "Who are you?"

"I am Loki of Asgard."

She asked as calm as she could. "Asgard?"

The man fiddled with his hands. "It is not from around here."

Holding onto Loki as he purred she asked, "Then why in my living room? How did you even get in?"

Loki, her guardian Loki, put his paw on her arm and dragged it along the goosebumps. "You left the door unlocked again. How many times do I have to give you this talk?"

She set Loki on the counter and he looked positively bored.

He muttered. "Why else would he have the same name as me?"

The leather clad man looked to the counter where Loki was and asked, "why do you have the same name as me?"

Gabriella's head turned fast to the perfectly chiseled face as she gasped. "You can hear him?"

He blinked a few times as confusion took his face. "Well yes. I can. Why is that so surprising?"

<><><><>

I liked my paw and rubbed it on my head as a way to clean myself from the damn bushes messing up fur. The two sat down eventually and stared at each other. Both of them naturally drawn to the other but unsure what to even do. 

"Well if neither of you talk I am going to be the one to inform Loki, from Asgard, of your two's fate now."

"My fate?"

"Yes lover boy. Your fate. To put it simple… where should I start… I am a guardian over Gabriella's family. I have been for many years. That stand over there? The pictures of humans and me, as their companion guardian. I took the name of each of their soul mates until they found the one they would procreate with. Then I would change form and name to fit the child's needs until that child grows, finds their mate and the cycle continues."

Loki's face was filled with shock from wide eyes to his gaping mouth, "Procreate?"

Gabriella pointed to me but kept her eyes on Loki. "You can seriously hear him?"

Loki's eyes initially glanced but his eyes did not leave her form too long. "Why is that such a shock?"

If I could in this form I would roll my eyes. "Because I am a cat, a beautiful maincoon might I add, and no one understands me other than Gabriella's family, and their soulmates. Also I can talk to other animals but in all honesty, animals are not my favorite company."

Gabriella adjusted her bathrobe with a shiver. "Where are you from again?"

I sighed. "He is from Asgard. Another realm. A completely different world." I laid down on the counter, tucking my paws underneath myself. It was a bit chilly in the house and with a glance outside a few snowflakes fell.

Gabriella stood and started to prepare tea. "This is too…" She trailed off.

I finished her thoughts. "Too real for you? I told you it would happen eventually."

Loki's eyes went side to side as the gear wheels in his brain started to function. Then his eyes looked to me with a wishful question. "Soulmates?"

With a bland and boring tone I explained, "Yes soulmates. There is no hiding how you two feel for the other when you look at the other. Both of your eyes dilate when looking at the other, when talking the other's skin gets bumpy. You two can barely keep your eyes off the other. So make the baby already."

Loki's eyes went wide as he glanced at Gabriella and she chocked on seemingly nothing. Their eyes left the other's. Both of them had a pink dusting along their faces.

Gabriella caught her breath. "Do you need to say that?! We just met!"

I huffed. "Yes let's put off the inevitable. You will produce another person for me to protect. It is in the contract of your family."

Loki spoke up, "courting needs to happen for at least 40 years -Before any such relationship starts."

I laughed, "40 years? Gabriella is already 27. By the time your 40 years are up she is going to be out of her fertility years and won't make a child. Thus, voiding my contract. Which is not going to happen."

Gabriella looked at me with worry before she sat down across from Loki, setting a mug in front of him. "What is Asgard like? What is your job?"

Loki took the mug into his hands and held it to his nose before taking a sip. "I am a prince and am training to be an adviser... For my brother who is next in line for the throne."

Gabriel's eyes widened as she stuttered with a squeak. "Prince?"

I smiled, "royal blood in the family would be nice. Right now all we have is some weak magic."

Loki's eyes barely left Gabriel's face to glance at me. "You have magic?"

Gabriella nodded slowly with a shrug. "It's not much and I barely know anything. My parents had less than I did and the only thing they knew how to do was make potions. Though they died when I was 21." Her eyes were casted down to her mug of tea.

Loki looked at me and I nodded to Gabriel, gesturing with my paw.

A beautiful flower appeared beside Gabriel's mug. After a brief moment of shock a smile danced across her face. She carefully held the golden flower with intricate patterns of black and green along the petals. Meeting his eyes briefly before shying away from the intense and hopeful gaze of Loki. She smelled the flower and held the eye contact, bringing a smile to Loki's face as well. Her notorious gentle hands played with the pedals.

Barely above a whisper she stated, "it's beautiful."

Loki smiled as he held out his hand. A vase was on the table in a beautiful shimmer of gold.

Loki offered while searching Gabriel's face. "I could teach you how to use your magic."

Gabriella gently placed the flower in the vase, a finger running along a petal. "You could?"

Loki smiled proudly with a reply, "I have practiced in seder for 1,000 years."

Gabriella frowned. "How long will you live?"

"I could live up to 5,000" Loki's face fell in thought… "How long do Midgardians live?"

I wanted to groan. 'All that matters is the child that is produced from you two…'

Gabriella let her hand fall and rest on the table. Her face grim and her voice hollow. "100 years if we are lucky. I am already over a quarter of my life."

Loki's eyes fell to his hands. 

I chose to explain the situation in a positive light. "No time like the present though. You two are soulmates, the time you spend together will be the best memories you will ever have."

<><><><>

They talked all night with stories to make the other laugh.

Gabriella explained that her job was to take care of animals once Loki seen the state of her hands.

She laughed as Loki held her hand to see scars.

"They must be vicious animals."

Gabriella gasped as Loki's fingers went over the pale marks. "No. They were just scared and in pain. Thats all. Just part of the job."

I stayed silent as I curled up on my favorite padded seat. 

Things were going well between the soulmates. Loki would appear randomly throughout the days but today there was no sign of him.

Gabriella fidgeted nervously at the table with tea.

"What if he doesn't show up?"

My tail flicked. "He will eventually come back, you are his soulmate."

<><><><>

Loki was in the library, deep within the forbidden spell books.

"Loki? What were you doing in there?"

Loki closed the book and put it back. "Just curious about some new spells."

Frigga went and pulled the book out reading the tittle. "Entwined Life of Soulmates." Frigga hummed as she opened the book.

Loki chose another book to look through.

Frigga hummed. "Soulmates are actually curses my dear. Why are you looking at these?"

"Is there a way to break the curse?"

Frigga gave him a quick glance before speaking. "It depends on the curse if it is worth it. You might kill the other."

Loki paused in rethinking his plan. "I seen that the two that are entwined have no choice in who they love."

Frigga nodded as she skimmed through the pages. "They do not. There is always a guardian to look over the contracted family. Only a member of the contract can break it-but it has to be someone who has not met their soulmate."

Loki hummed… "and the soulmates are to have an heir?"

Frigga closed the book and held it close to her, "my dear Loki, why ask all these questions?"

Loki stayed silent as he contemplated his plan to break the soulbond. If Gabriella had no choice but to love him was it real love? Loki knew he was in love with Gabriella. She was wonderful company, very knowledgeable, and always so happy. The way her eyes would sparkle and her small smile grew more once Loki greeted her made his heart soar.

Frigga took the book out of Loki's hand and exchanged it with the soulmates one.

She smiled. "You have a soulmate. Who is it?"

Loki smiled. "Her name is Gabriella."

Frigga tapped on the book. "I would love to meet your soulmate. Perhaps we could find out more about the rules of the contract."

<><><><>

I stayed up with Gabriella.

She was just about to doze off when the door opened.

Loki called out. "Gabriella?"

Of course she jumped up but Loki was quick to her side so she didn't need to get off the couch.

"I want you to come with me. I want you to meet my mother."

"Your mother?" Gabriella gasped. "Does she know about me?"

"Yes. She also knows we are soulmates."

Gabriella nodded and took Loki's hand. 

Though I wondered how much they knew. There was nothing in the rules to keep Gabriella from talking but the Asgardians might prove to be a little difficult to keep the contract intact…

<><><><>

Loki stood beside Gabriella in the throne room. I was on her other side.

Odin looked down on Gabriella. "She is a mortal. How do you expect to have a life with her? Have a child with her?-The pregnancy alone could kill her."

Loki immediately countered. "There is a book about soulmates. With your permission I could use one of the spells or rituals to extend her life."

I wanted to hiss but kept myself under control. Of course the Asgardians would have a book like that.

Odin waved Loki to silence and stared at Gabriella. "It is time you share your agreements of your contract."

Gabriella stood with as much confidence she could gather.

"Well. My ancestor who made the contract was lonely and wished for a partner with unconditional love, also for their descendants. That is when my family's guardian agreed to match everyone of blood to a soulmate. A child must be produced or the contract is voided."

Odin's gaze did not falter from Gabriella. "What if the contract is voided?"

"The guardian will be stuck in the form it took to help the family member. The guardian gets to live so long as there is a new form to take. The person under the guardian's protection will die shortly after."

Odin demanded. "Why would a guardian agree to such a thing? To my knowledge they live longer without a contract."

Gabriella inhaled shakily, "the guardian agreed to the contract because my ancestor agreed to the bloodline being strengthened so the guardian could inhabit the body of the strong child."

Loki looked to Gabriella and the worry for both her and his future child flooded him in the obvious look of shock.

Gabriella spoke with more volume. "There is a spell that the family members can use to break the contract but it has to be someone that has not met their soulmate."

Odin's stare turned into a glare. "Why did you not use it."

Gabriella's eyes went to the floor. "I am not strong enough."

My tail flicked as the realization hit me that the contract was in danger of being ended by these people and the new body was getting out of my reach.

<><><><>

Once they were sent to their rooms Loki asked Gabriella questions.

"Did you not want me?"

Gabriella sighed heavily before answering. "I didn't want to trap anyone to me. While I knew my parents were happy… I wanted my own choice. I wanted my partner to want me on their own."

Loki played with his hands as he spoke. "I have to admit that I purposely looked for the book I told Odin about. I felt the same way. -That you were stuck with me. I wanted to break the contract so you had a choice."

Gabriella smiled a little. "Thank you. I understand at first we were just under the contract but I got to know you. I must say you are everything I would have dreamed of."

Loki went to hold her hands. "I will make it so we have more time together."

Gabriella smiled up at him, wishing she could kiss him. "I would like to have the time for you to court me."

<><><><>

Loki woke in the morning and readied himself for a long day of looking over spells.

As Loki was collecting his shirt there was a knock on the door.

He thought it was just a messenger but no one called for him to get a message. He could see the shadows of someone standing near the door... He hurried with his shirt and grabbed a dagger from his desk.

Loki demanded through the door. "Who is it?"

"You are not a morning person are you?" Gabriella's laugh relaxed Loki slightly.

With a sigh Loki opened the door.

Gabriella's cheerful face fell once she seen the dagger in Loki's hand.

Loki lifted the offending object up and answered her question. "When people knock on my door they must state who they are and what they need of me. I thought you might have been a threat."

Gabriella nodded. "Well I am sorry, your majesty, for not knowing." She knocked on the door and spoke with authority. "It is I, Gabriella, and I wish to know if you are awake. I have urgent matters to speak to you about."

Loki smiled slightly feeling her happiness. "Are you making fun of me?"

Still with an authoritative voice. "No my Prince. I do have serious things to discuss."

Loki stepped to the side to let Gabriella with a gesture inside. "What do you need to discuss?"

"My job."

Loki's eyebrows melded together. "Your job?"

Gabriella was looking at the books in his collection. Her hand ran along the spines and fingers paused as she looked at him, then around his room. Her touch on the books ended but her hands busied themselves with touching the drapes. Parting them and then tieing them back.

"Yes my job…" Her gaze was to her hands but then she looked to him. "I had today off but tomorrow I need to be there."

Loki didn't understand her point. He walked to her and grasped her hands. Studying her eyes as he spoke. "You can quit. You will be living here now."

Gabriella smiled at him. "I know that but at least two weeks notice is needed so they can replace me. There are animals that need cared for and without enough people it will be difficult to give them that care…"

The cat walked in, Loki, the Mischievous matchmaker.

Gabriella paused then parted her hands to pet Loki. "I also need to get some things for Loki...umm this Loki."

Prince Loki wondered aloud. "Isn't that going to be a bit…. Confusing with our names the same?"

"Well I am not changing my name." Loki swatted at Gabriella's hand. "What supplies do I need? Asgard has plenty of things for me. I am sure the food will taste better here." Loki swatted her hand away again and she kept it to herself. "I am supposed to take care of you."

Gabriella booped his nose. "And who takes care of you?"

Loki pawed his nose and moved it about. "I hate when you do that. You know i hate when you do that!"

Gabriella spoke proudly. "Yes i do. Cat's noses are very sensitive. Besides you are the reason I became a vet. To try to take care of you."

Loki didn't understand, "You became an animal doctor to take care of your guardian?"

Gabriella tilted her head as she replied. "Ofcourse, Loki-the cat is not immortal and he gets sick too."

"But he is going to take our child."

Gabriella smiled bitterly. "If it wasn't for Loki we would have never met. Our homes are realms away and our life expectancy is very different. I knew I was not going to be able to break the curse but our child will have you." Gabriella's smile became gentle and warm. "Our child will have you to teach them everything they need to know."

"Our child will have both of us." Loki went and held Gabriella. "My plans for the day was to study some spells and everything I can on the contract."

Loki felt Gabriella hold him a little tighter.

Her mumbled and relaxed response was mostly muffled by his shirt. "Then our plans are to study spells together then."

<><><><>

I watched them go over spells, well Loki read things to Gabriella. Everything was in Asgardian script but the spells of Loki's choice were on life expectancy.

Gabriella pointed to a page. "I like that one."

Loki turned the page to get away from that spell. "The synchronized soulbond? No. I do not like it. That is my least favorite one."

Gabriella pushed Loki's hair away from his face. "I think it would be nice to know how you are feeling and if you are hurt."

I watched as Loki glared at the new page.

He spoke after he closed his eyes for a brief moment. "I go to battle, I fight in wars -if. If I would die you would too."

"I think it's romantic and poetic."

Loki scoffed. "There is nothing romantic about death, or feeling another's pain. We are not doing that one."

Gabriella smiled as she let her fingers trace his cheekbones and jaw. 

I sat on one of the very nice and comfortable chairs and watched as they discussed multiple spells. When food arrived I actually had my own dish and the food was fantastic. So much better than the canned cat food that Gabriella feed me. After dinner in the hall we were escorted by Loki back to our home.

Loki held Gabriella close to himself as he made a promise. "I will be here when I can but I will be back in two weeks to bring you to stay with me."

Gabriella nodded into his chest. "I am going to miss you."

Loki pulled from her and backed away to head for the door. "I will think of you every minute I am away."

Once Loki was gone I looked at my paw nonchalantly. "So extending your life will mean nothing if I run out of my 9 lives."

Gabriella turned from the window and barked. "What? ...You mean to tell me you knew all along that it wouldn't work -and you said nothing."

My claws came out as I inspected them. Asgard had wonderful things to sharpen my nails. "I didn't want to ruin the happy moment for both of you."

"I cant believe you! All this time you-It has been just a game to you?!"

"You really think you, or your family had any say in this contract? The only thing your ancestor wanted was to make sure you were never alone. But as soon as I get a child's body you will be free to have as many children as you want."

I watched as things started clicking in place. "You had control over how many children my family could have all this time? My parents thought it was their fault."

"How else am I going to prioritize taking care of multiple children? It is much easier to keep eyes on just one person."

By this time angry tears were pouring out of Gabriella's eyes.

I smiled. "Just some things to think about."

Gabriella walked swiftly past me to go to the bedroom.

I yelled, "there is a way to let this contract last longer than my 9 lives…"

Gabriella's heavy footsteps stopped. Anger laced in her question, "how?"

"You give me 10 years off of your remaining lifespan."

With a howl of frustration Gabriella finished her stampede to the bedroom and slammed the door shut.

I snickered. With 10 years of a human I would have enough time to last me 100 years. That is if Prince Loki could figure out a spell for lengthening Gabriella's life. By that time she would have produced an heir to the contract and I would have my new body.

I huffed as I curled on the couch. "Asgard chairs are much more comfortable."

[tsukiprotranslations]

[Translation] VAZZROCK Play of Color Vol. 1 - Drama Track 2

Track 2 is up~!! May I just say that those two have such a simple naming sense lol “Vazz” and “Rock”... They named their cats, Vazz and Rock. Also, this is the only track that I’ve put (cat meows/cat purrs) so many times in XD

Again, thank you to @wingusasa on Twitter for the files! Much much love to you, dear~! 

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission. Please like and re-blog instead of re-posting ^^

TRACK 1 | TRACK 2

Under the cut, enjoy~!

Track 2: [小さな新メンバー現る!] “Small, new members appear!”

[0:00]

  (faint laughter from Naosuke)

(cats meowing)

AYUMU: There, there.

NAO: Here, kitty~

NAO: There, there~ Everything’s okay now. There’s nothing to be scared about anymore.

NAO: I’m so glad both of you are okay.

(cats purr)

NAO: Woah~! You’re so fluffy~

AYUMU: Th-there, there… H-here, kitty…

AYUMU: Such cute beings.

NAO: Ayumu-san, is that other cat calm now, too?

AYUMU: Yeah, he looks like he’s… (cat purrs) He’s relaxing quite well.

AYUMU: He might grow up to be a big guy. What about that black cat?

(cat meows)

NAO: Just like you see… He’s kinda irritated by his small wound but he’s pretty much energetic!

NAO: You two didn’t panic much at the vet, huh? You’re so amazing~

AYUMU: Are they siblings? Their breed and appearance look quite different…

NAO: This one’s got short fur. This thing by his neck, his paws, and the tip of his tail are white so it kinda looks like the black cat is wearing a white scarf and white gloves!

AYUMU: This kitten is very gray so… he kinda looks like an American Shorthair.

AYUMU: But, his fur is quite long. It really feels good to the touch.

(Ayumu pets the cat and the cat purrs)

NAO: (laughs) Ayumu-san, you’re making quite the face~! You’ve taken such a liking to them, huh?

AYUMU: Ah, no, I—

MAMIYA: Oh~! Both of them are so tiny. They’re so cute~

MAMIYA: I wanna gobble them up~

AYUMU/NAO: …!

MAMIYA:  Imma say this, ‘kay? I was joking, Ayumu-kun.

(cat meows)

AYUMU: … Yes, indeed… I understand.

MAMIYA: You say that but… Why are you slowly backing away?

MAMIYA: Big brother’s feelings are hurt~ I took all the responsibility to take them to the vet and get them treated, so there’s no way I’ll eat them, you know?

NAO: …! That reminds me!! Takaaki-san, thank you very much!

MAMIYA: Don’t mention it. I’m used to spending money for my kohai anyway.

NAO: You two, too. Come on~ It’s your life’s savior~ Say thank you~

AYUMU: That’s right. Your sponsor is very important.

MAMIYA: Sponsor’s such a huge word… (chuckles)

MAMIYA: Naosuke’s the one who saved them first so aren’t you their life’s savior?

MAMIYA: (to the cats) You two, say thank you to Naosuke later too, got it~?

(cats meow)

NAO: Oh!

MAMIYA: Oh! They look like they understand. You guys are so sharp, huh.

MAMIYA: They look like they’re used to people but they don’t seem like pets.

AYUMU: You’re right. They’re not wearing any collars and aren’t properly groomed. My first thought would have definitely been that they were strays.

(cats meow)

[02:57]

  NAO: Ayumu-san, you really like cats, huh?

AYUMU: Well, yes…

NAO: Have you ever kept one before?

AYUMU: No. It was impossible since my dad was allergic to them.

AYUMU: I’ve been living alone since I started working, right? They require attention so I’ve never really kept pets before.

AYUMU: Right? (Ayumu pets the cat and it meows)

MAMIYA: You must really love animals, huh~

MAMIYA: This is my first time seeing Ayumu’s gentle face and smile.

AYUMU: Yes, I really love animals. Even before, I’ve admired the thought of having a pet.

AYUMU: I wanted to try walking a dog or having a cat rest on my lap like this.

AYUMU: It really feels good, doesn’t it?

AYUMU: Their fur feels good to touch and they have a gentle warmth.

AYUMU: Truly, it’s the warmth of life.

MAMIYA: Totally.

NAO: Here, here~! We have a cat and a dog back at home!

MAMIYA: Ah~ That seems so like you. (laughs)

MAMIYA: Naosuke, you seem like the kind who’s always surrounded by animals.

NAO: What do you mean by that?! What about Takaaki-san? Have you ever had a pet?

MAMIYA: A pet? Uh… At my grandpa’s is a dog. My parent’s home had three cats but I don’t have any of my own.

MAMIYA: Ah, I’ve had a time where I was a little swallow though~ (1)

AYUMU/NAO: …!

MAMIYA: I was joking! Why are you so quick to believe me?

MAMIYA: It’s a joke that you could immediately tell was a joke, right?!

AYUMU/NAO: No, definitely not.

MAMIYA: (sighs)

[04:40]

  (cat meows)

NAO: O-oh! I’m sorry.

NAO: Did I hit your wound? Are you okay?

(cat meows)

NAO: (sighs in relief) I’m glad that you’re doing okay but… This wound might turn into a scar…

NAO: I’m sorry. It would’ve been better if I saved you faster.

MAMIYA/AYUMU: …

MAMIYA: Naosuke? The wound might turn to a scar but thanks to you, that’s all he got.

MAMIYA: It’s the best case scenario. I’m sure he thinks so, too.

MAMIYA: He’s grateful to you. He’s not mad at all.

AYUMU: He’s right. The doctor said that nothing bad happened to both of them, didn’t they?

AYUMU: You did a good thing.

NAO: Did I… really? I hope that’s true.

(cat meows)

NAO: This guy was so cool!

NAO: He kept protecting the other one even if he was getting attacked by crows, too!

(cat purrs)

NAO: (gentle smile) You protected your friend from the crows, didn’t you? That’s so admirable.

NAO: This wound is the symbol of manliness, huh~!

(cat meows)

AYUMU: (to the other cat) Looks like your partner and Naosuke are getting along well, huh?

(cat meows)

MAMIYA: Looks like he’s getting along well with Ayumu, too.

AYUMU: I hope that’s the case.

[06:11]

  MAMIYA: (sighs) But, this flow is… It’s definitely that, huh…

MAMIYA: I feel like I can predict what happens next…

NAO: …! Takaaki-san! Dad! I want to keep them in the dorms!

MAMIYA: See? I knew that would happen. Who are you calling ‘Dad’?

NAO: (laughs) I thought you might agree more if I said that.

NAO: Let me beg again. Takaaki-san, please! I want to keep them!

NAO: I’ll definitely, definitely, definitely take care of them properly so…!

MAMIYA: (chuckles) I know those lines well. It’s the line that kids tell their moms while crying whenever they pick up a cat or a dog.

NAO: EH?! No, no, I’m different! A man doesn’t go back on his words!

NAO: Please believe me!

MAMIYA: Hmm… What should I do~?

AYUMU: … Um, Takaaki-san…

AYUMU: I’ll try to convince the other members and… I’ll take one of them as a ROCK DOWN representative so…

AYUMU: Would it still be no good then…?

MAMIYA: Even Ayumu’s gonna say that, huh…

AYUMU: I-I’m so sorry!

AYUMU: But, I think that if we have pets, it’d make dorm life better.

AYUMU: I think they’d definitely come greet you when you come home.

AYUMU: They’re warm, they’re fluffy, they’re tiny, they’re fluffy…!

MAMIYA: Are you desperate? (laughs) You said fluffy twice.

NAO: Please, please, Takaaki-san! I’m begging you!

AYUMU: I think that it’s not forbidden to keep pets at the dorm!

NAO: I’ll do better and better at work! The source for that power is here! The two of them!

(cats meow)

AYUMU: I don’t think anyone’s allergic either! Of course, I’ll be confirming that again!

NAO: The other units keep pets too, don’t they?

NAO: I heard that in another dorm, a penguin just walks around! (2)

AYUMU: Exact—A penguin, you say?!

MAMIYA: Yeah, in Gravi and Procella’s dorm. Well, theirs is so supernatural in a lot of ways.

MAMIYA: You’re right. Keeping pets is okay but…

NAO: Please!

AYUMU: Please!

(cats meow)

NAO: Takaaki-san!

AYUMU: Takaaki-san!

MAMIYA: Wait now. It looks like I’m bullying you.

MAMIYA: (sighs) Fine, I get it. I’ll just say that this was some kind of fated meeting.

MAMIYA: Destiny maybe.

NAO: Eh?

AYUMU: That means…!

MAMIYA: I’ll have to talk to Sho about it but I’ll convince him.

MAMIYA: If all members agree to take care of them then we won’t have to worry if we have to do some solo work. Since there’d be someone taking care of them.

NAO: Ye…

AYUMU/NAO: ALRIGHT!!

[09:05]

  NAO: Alright~! We did it, Vazz!

(cat meows)

MAMIYA: Vazz? Is that his name? So you already named him?

NAO: Yes! He’ll be VAZZY’s mascot so it’s Vazz~!

NAO: It just came to me~

NAO: This name is great, right? Right, Vazz~ It’s perfect for someone manly like you~

(cat meows)

MAMIYA: He’s really taken a liking to you, huh?

MAMIYA: What about Ayumu? Have you named the other one?

AYUMU: Let me see… If he’s named “Vazz” from “VAZZY”, I want to take this one’s name from our unit, too.

AYUMU: It’s ROCK DOWN so “DOWN”… would not be so catchy…

AYUMU: I’d prefer if it was something stronger sounding so…

AYUMU: Ah…! Rock… I’ll call him Rock.

MAMIYA: Both of them are so literal, huh~

MAMIYA: Well, it’s easy to tell so it’s good. This black cat is Vazz and the gray one is Rock.

(cats meow happily)

MAMIYA: (chuckles) Oh~ Do you guys like your name, too? That’s great then~

MAMIYA: We’ll introduce you to the rest of the members later, ‘kay? There’re still 9 hot guys left~ I’m sure you’d be surprised~

AYUMU: I think the others would be surprised, too. Since cats have suddenly arrived at the dorm.

MAMIYA: That’s true~

AYUMU: But, I think they’d be happy, too. They are after all, very nurturing people.

MAMIYA: I see~

NAO: Alright~! Eat a lot and get bigger okay, Vazz~?

NAO: It’d be a competition with me~ (Vazz meows)

AYUMU: Indeed. Then Rock should also— (Rock purrs)

AYUMU: (chuckles) You like doing things at your own pace, huh?

AYUMU: Eat and get nourished so that you won’t lose. You’ll be a great cat then.

(Rock meows)

AYUMU: Congratulations on being new members.

==END==

Translator’s Notes:

(1) Okay, I did a little research on this because the reference was unfamiliar but, apparently, [燕/tsubame”] the Japanese word for the swallow bird can also be slang for “a younger man who is involved with an older person”.

(2) To those unaware, Naosuke’s referencing Magellan, Haduki You’s pet penguin (from the spirit world) XD

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission. Please like and re-blog instead of re-posting ^^

If you like this, please consider buying me a ko-fi here to support my work. (o^▽^o)Thank you!!

[askthiscpblog]

The Pray, The Hunter, and The Killer

"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! We got 10 minutes before you all start hiding so shut the fuck up and listen close! I don't want to repeat myself!"

A white, pale man with greasy black, moppy, rats nest head of hair and a permanent, long smile speaks to the crowd of Halloween guests of the Slender's Halloween mansion party. The Slenderman runs this party every year for a time of rest and festivities, but we are not here for that. We are here for the grand finale of the party and tha- "I SAID WE ONLY GOT 10 MINUTES!!!!" Jeff yelled again interrupting everyone's conversations. Once they quieted down he starts explains the rules of the party's legendary manhunt.

"The rules are simple! At 11:40 the hunted will have 20 minutes to hide wherever they like as long it's not in the buildings! Once it is midnight that's when the real fun begins! The hunters will have 6 hours to find and locate all the hunted!"

"That sounds easy enough." a random man said in the crowd.

Jeff retorted immediately, "Wrong! The thing is this is not a simple a tag you’re out!" The smile on his face somehow grows wider.

"You keep going until you get captured! In other words, if we take you back to the mansion then you are out, but don't worry! You can use whatever method to avoid being captured that is not killing! Be warned it's a two-way streak of anything you do will come back! Got it!?" There is a murmur in the crowd of people.

"I SAID GOT IT!!!?" His voice boomed that made everyone jumped and they all murmured, responding yes in various ways.

"Good! Now the game starts now! GOOOOO!!!!" He yells pointing towards the woods.

On cue everyone starts charging into the woods, marking as much noise as possible. It was about 3 minutes until things started quieting down.

"Well this is going to be fun." he says to himself then pulls out a radio and continues, "So I call dibs on the big harry jock."

A female voice responds in a sarcastic manner, "Ooooooof course you do. What is with you and big buff men? Do you swing both ways and don’t tell anyone?"

"SHUT THE SHIT UP JANE!" He roars.

"Shut the shit up? What the fuck is up with your speech pattern? And is there really anything wrong in going against the grain, so to speak?" A calm, firm male speaks up.

Jeff turns around to see who spoke up. The guy was shorter than him but held an aura that could set normal people off. Luckily for Jeff, he was not a normal person. He wore an orange jacket pulled up to his neck and had a mask on with a black outline around the eyes and lips. He even put eyebrows on it.

“Why the fuck do you care how I speak!?” Jeff screamed at him, getting up in his face. The other male stood there, arms crossed over his chest, looking at the ugly man in his face

“Because you make the rest of us look like dumb asses.” Masky retorted, his voice still steady. Jeff growled looking into Masky’s eyes, unblinking. For him, it was because both he can’t and because he didn’t want to back down.

“You know if you keep looking at me like that, people might get the wrong idea,” Masky told to him. With that, he patted Jeff’s shoulder and took a few steps back. Jeff could feel a shit eating grin under that mask of his, and that pissed him off. Jeff watched him take a few steps back and groans. He didn’t care, not enough to start a fight now. He had a hunt to go have fun with, and with that, he pulls out a phone to check the time. 12:00am. Time to start the hunt. 

He pulls out a CD that has ‘Spread the Word.’ written across it in black marker. Jeff whistled and throws the disc to where it morphed into a large black and deep red furred dog. It had a smile as big, if not wider, than Jeff's. It came up to his chest, almost eye to eye with the guy. That smile appeared to be near human, only with a few sharp canines to tell the difference.

"Alright, Smile follow the scent of jockstraps and axe!" He barks out as an order to the mutt. After about 5 minutes, visual displeasure was on the dog's face and it looks at Jeff. He whined and gave a small yip to get his attention.

"You got it?" Jeff questioned the obvious. Smile nods with discomfort, not enjoying this sent in its nose. 

"Then lead the way!" He yells with excitement. The dog huffed and followed the sent, trotting along.

"Then lead the way!" He yells with excitement. The dog huffed and followed the sent, trotting along.

They traveled for 3 miles marking sure not to make a noise. 30 minutes have passed in the travel and Jeff has noticed that smile has been acting skittish.

"Smile. You OK? You not acting like yourself." Jeff asked the dog in a whisper. 

Smile looked at him and simply said, "Spread the word......." in response.

"I knew I should have brought my phone. I can't understand what the fuck you’re saying." He huffed in annoyance.

Smile sighed and continue forward, stop in his tracks. The red dog is looking east with a face of unease. 1-2-3 minutes went by. Smile was like a statue, in blinking. Jeff looks hard in the dark woods he can almost make ou- snap! They both look towards the opposite direction and sees a girl freeze upon seeing the smiling duo. 

"Well, what do we have here? It looks like a little mouse went out of its hole and then set off a trap." Jeff stated forming a wicked grin on his face.

The girl starts to back away feeling panic and dread the longer she looks at him.

"Let's have fun shall we." Smile bolts after the girl.

The moment that sudden movement happened she started to run from the dog and screaming, "Brian!!!! Brian!!!!! Help!!!!! Brian!!!!" Her cries echo throughout the forest among other screams in the distance.

She can hear the dog snickering to her pleas for help. This made her run even faster not even watching her surroundings as a white blur goes to sidelines her. They both hit the ground and a pair of hands grasp the girl's throat and she sees the shadow of Jeff's face under the moonlight. Her eyes widen as she tries in desperation to fight against his grasp and then punches Jeff in the eye.  

"Mother bitching cock shitter!!!!" Jeff relied back in pain. She pushes him off and goes to get back up until a sharp pain flashed through her in her right leg.  

"AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!" She howled in pain and looks to see the giant red dog sank its teeth deep inside her. She tries in desperation to kick the dog off, but gets slammed down and feels a weight on her back.  

"Oooooh, you are going to pay for that bitch!" Jeff says as he grabs her hair and starts to slam her head on the ground. She cries in pain over and over again. As he is about to give the knock out something stops him. The sense that he eyes watching him. He looks at Smile and sees he has taken notice as well. Before Jeff says anything, something slams into the side of his head. It sent him flying off the girl into a tree.  

"FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!" Jeff shrieks in pain. Smile looks at the attacker and his jaw pried open on the girl's leg. Smile tries to fight back, but the attacker lifts the dog by the throat. It then baseball bat swings Smile agents a tree. A whimper escapes before he turns back into a disk.

When this happened, a force hit Jeff. Jeff saw this happening and realized that its the guy he is looking for. He then gets up rubbing the side is his head feeling blood leaking out. And stares the football player down with both anger and excitement.

"About damn time I found you. I have been itching for a real fight all night." Jeff says now having a good examination of the man. He was a bit, he was harried, and he was angry. Jeff's smile becomes warped.

"You're going to regret hurting Julia." The football player responded brandishing a branch.

"Who? the bitch? Oooooh. You misunderstood. I was trying to pretty up that cadaver face of hers." He snorted at the half-conscious girl lying on the ground.

"BASTARD!!!" The jock howled and charges Jeff swinging the branch at full force. Seeing that he took the bait he doges the blow and jumps onto his back. He did take a fist full of the hair on the back of the jocks head. Pulling it to the left to make his neck exposed. Jeff managed to get 3 good hits on the right of the neck before the football players jumps and drops on top of Jeff.

"Gah!!" Chocked out by having the large man's weight crushing him. The jock then rolls around and sits on top of Jeff. Knees on arms and starts whaling on Jeff's head.

"Ha.....haha.....hahahaHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!" Jeff cackled after many blows to the face. This made the large man stops his fury of blows. Unperturbed by Jeff's reaction. Then he feels a burning pain in his left leg. The jock yelped that gave Jeff the moment to shove him off and got back on his feet. The jock looks at his leg. It was sizzling and oozing with blood. He then looks at Jeff, seeing him hold a blade gleaming in the moonlight of white and crimson.

"S-silver!? How did you-" he was then interrupted. 

"Easy fang face. The moment you charged at me you're eyes when's yellow.

"Who the fuck are you!!!???" The jock demanded an answer.

"Ooooh. Me?" His smile has grown from cheek to cheek.

"I'm just the guy that's looking for a fun night." At that moment the werewolf felt a drastic shift in the atmosphere. A flood of dread and bloodlust is radiating off of the pale man in front of him and start to see that his feature us become more define. More menacing. Jeff can see the terror on the wolfs face and laughs at it. 

"Is the lil puppy going to piss himself? To think that you're still not housebroken at this point." The wolf starts to back away not sure what to do. He is dealing with a killer. His breathing increase to quicker shorter bursts. He needed to run. He needs to escape. He needs to-. He then hears a moan of pain. He looks over to see Julia. She is covered in dirt and blood. Feeling retreats that he got her in this mess, but he will be the one to get her out and make this psycho pay for what he did.

"Oh?" Jeff tilts his head to the side. He now sees the werewolf's breathing has calmed then a growl can be heard. His eyes shifted away from the girl to Jeff. The man finally spoke. 

"Well.....if it's fun you want....THEN I THINK YOU DON'T MINED BEING MY CHOW TOY!!!!!!"

The large man started to jerk in odd angles. His bones and tendons started to pop and snap as they shuffled. Pop. Snap. Craaaack! His size to half his normal size. Silver fur sprouted out of his arms, legs, chest...OK, you get it. It's a lot of hair. His skin stretched showing the bones shifting within his body as for his clothes ripped and tear off of him. His mouth starched forward forming a muzzle, along with his ears became pointed and parched on top of his head. Jeff watched as this happened. Amused by the transformation.

"So is the real fun is about to begin?" Jeff asked the werewolf that was the man before him. The wolf responded by pouncing on to Jeff. It's teeth going for his throat. Jeff oofed as he hit the ground. His hand on the wolfs neck. Keeping the jaws at bay, but not it's breath for it smells like decay. Jeff not sure what to do for the beast is stronger than him and is keeping it's maw away. As a last ditch effort. He longed his head flowed and chopping on the wolf's nose. A shriek can be heard from the man dog and jumps back. Giving Jeff the opportunity to make a counter attack. He hops to his feet and goes charging at the wolf at top speed. The werewolf gets on its feet goes for another lunge at Jeff, but sees him shrink right before they impacted. WHACK!!! The wolfs eyes widen and holed in pain and it drops to its side going over Jeff.

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Jeff is laughing as the oversize wolf grabs his nether regions. It took a minute for the wolf regain composure. Jeff is still laughing and has not taken note.

"HAHAHAH-GHHHHAAAA!!!" Jeff's laughs of joy morphed into a cry of pain as the werewolf claws at his back and blood gushed out as the skin tars open. Jeff stabs the silver knife into the wolfs arm in response. Getting a whimpering cry out. It turned into a slugfest of blades and claws. Turning Jeff's hoodie and the wolf's claws a deep glimmering red. Both are breathing heavy, staring each other down. Jeff could have killed him by now but would prefer this than dealing with slender's wrath. His vision blurs a bit due to the blood loss and can tell the werewolf is too.

"Just need to figure out how to end this....." Jeff thought to himself. He then sees the girls body. "That's it!" He looks at the wolfman.

"Hey, Fido! Catch!" Jeff throws the knife at the now unconscious girl. The werewolf did not miss a beat and hurls itself to shield the girl and the knife plants itself dead in the wolfs back. It pulls the weapon out.

Jeff runs and grabs the branch that the wolfman used on him and yells, "SWING BATTER BATTER!!!!!" Jeff swings the branch as hard as he can to the wolfs head. Tt ducked in time and was about to strike Jeff until they both heard a high pitched scream that echoes throughout the woods

This the slight pause was long enough for Jeff to get a second swing in hitting the connecting point of the jaw and throat. This sends the wolf flying back hitting the ground hard.

Jeff went charging up to make a follow-up hit but stops seeing that the beast is unconscious. He then takes a deep breath and drops to the ground."

Well. I know I won't get the jackpot tonight." He said to himself.

Clap.....clap....clap....

A slow clapping can be heard behind the tree line. Jeff takes notice and then stiffed. That sensation of being watched has returned.

"Alright. Who the bitch are you and why have you been following me?!" Jeff yelled out to his unseen spectator.

"Me? Oh, I'm just a fan. That's all. May I say not bad work." A voice responded. It was calm and smooth. It made Jeff felt uneasy.

"Oh? A fan." He gets up and draws his second knife. "If you like I can sign you an autograph. If you like?"

The voice laughs in response "oh thank you, but I already have one. What I'm here for is to invite you to my show."

"Show you say?" Jeff is growing more intrigued.

"Yes. It's about to have its finale and I want you to be my guest star. It will me give me great pleasure if you join." Jeff can't seem to pin down where the voice is coming from.

"And if I refuse?" Jeff questioned. Ready to make a run for it. Knowing full well he can't deal with another fight.

"JEFF!!!! GET BACK TO THE MANSION!!!! WE ARE BEING ATTACKED!!!!" Jane's voice is yelling out the walkie-talkie in a panic. Jeff goes to reach for it and make a bolt for it but stops himself in time feeling an edge of a blade on his throat.

"You think you have a choice in the matter." The voice is behind him now. Jeff tries to react but feels a syringe put in his neck. Afterward, he back of his knee is kicked, knocking Jeff to the ground.

"JEFF!!! JEFF!!! JE-" the walkie-talkie has turned off. Jeff gets on his hands and knees, gasping. The world is spinning around him. He was then pushed over on his back. He sees a figure of a man over him. His vision is too hazy to make out who it is. The figure bends down next to him and simply says, "Shhhhhhhhh. Go to sleep." Then the world turned black.....

[lexiemybestfriend]

An incident or two

Our normal walking route consisted of about 40-60 minutes, much of which was along a paved bicycle route that split through a wooded area. As someone who knew nothing, I remember forcing Lexie, as a very little puppy, to walk in the grass next to the path, or street. In my brain cell, I thought this might be easier on her joints. This included when we began walking off-lead. With my remembrance that I should develop a trust between myself and my dog, I would start un-clicking Lexie during our walks down this path. Especially in the mornings, the path was pretty un-populated and, without Lexie running completely away, there was not a lot of danger nearby - just some woods and trees. She even learned to stay on the side of the trail. When she didn’t, she went back on the lead. Well, there was this one time.

We were both off to the side of the trail. I had heard a person on roller blades coming up behind us. As a habit, when anyone approached, I would tell Lexie to stop and sit. Mostly, she obeyed, to the disbelief of many of the people we met. As with any dog, or person, everyone has their quirks. One of those quirks for Lex was people who moved strangely. Now she grew up around bicycles and even wheelchairs/walkers, so those were fine. But skateboards, roller blades, (cross-country skiers, we learned a few years later), those made her nervous or excited, I couldn’t tell which. As I knelt down next to my dog, I placed my hand on her chest, to wait for the roller-blading lady to slide past. It seemed like an easy deal. But, as the lady got close, I looked up to make eye contact, then Lexie bolted forward and I missed my grab at her collar. Everything went into slow motion. My sweet dog clipped the lady’s trail leg, which spun her around backwards to land, quite ungracefully, on her butt and her hand. It appeared to be a pretty hard hit. Fortunately, the lady was unhurt, though I’m sure she ended up with a number of colorful bruises. Shockingly, she wasn’t as angry as I expected. I grabbed Lexie, who now simply wanted to play with the horizontal new friend. She continued on her way, with a grumble. Likely, she tells people, to this day, about the big, black dog that nearly killed her. That’s how I would tell it, if it were me.

One other time, however, I decided to walk a back way, through some neighborhoods and link up with our bike path at a later point. As we descended a hill, which crossed the bike path, we walked past the last house on that particular hill. The backyard, for this house, paralled the road we were walking. As we passed, a very big golden retriever jumped off the back porch and sprinted toward Lexie and I. I didn’t know what was about to happen, if this was an attack or a greeting, so I placed Lexie behind me. The streets of Springfield have few sidewalks, especially in older residential neighborhoods. So, the golden ran full speed down the hill, around me, and into Lexie’s side - knocking her into the two-foot ditch. He didn’t appear to be trying to bite Lexie but simply cross-checked her onto her side. Lexie landed with a yelp. Lex was never a vocal dog and rarely even barked. I had never heard her yelp. She was struggling to get to her feet, the golden was still pushing toward her, and I was trying to stay between them while trying to help Lexie get up. It was obvious, since neither myself or Lexie had been bit, the golden wasn’t attacking. But, he was still a very big problem. Lexie couldn’t put any weight on her right, rear leg and the golden was still pushing and trying to get around me. At the sight of my dog being injured and the persistence of the golden retriever, I punched him squarely across the muzzle, hard. Looking back, I regret it and wish I had a more rational thought process. But, seeing Lexie get hurt was a physical pain inside my chest. The golden was surprised enough to back up a step. I grabbed a fistful of fur on his neck, with one hand, and Lexie’s collar, with the other, so I could maintain a distance between 150 pounds of dog. A car stopped and yelled, “Are you okay!?” As an idiot who never wants to intrude on anyone, “Yeah, I think we’re alright now,” I panted.

The golden retriever had finally calmed down a little, so that he was no longer pressing forward. Lexie was half standing/half sitting against the slope of the ditch. I got to my feet and pushed the golden away from us. I fought the urge to try and hurt the dog that hurt my dog. The golden simply paced around with a big grin on his face, which only increased my anger since Lexie was in pain. I didn’t know what to look for, but her leg didn’t appear broken or dislocated. Never the less, she was barely using it and we had about a 1/2 mile to get back home. I tried to carry her, but, from the time that she became an adolescent dog, she hated being picked up. She wriggled until I put her back down.  Lexie was a tough, stoic dog and simply limped beside me as we headed down the bike path, toward home, slowly. 

Unrelated side-note: Looking back, I smile at the similarity between Lexie and I. Regardless of what happens, we seem to keep walking. Often, it is with a limp, or a scar, or sadness, or without direction. Often, it is with a smile, or hope, or joy, or purpose. But, almost always, it is without a lot of display and the vast majority of people couldn’t tell the difference. When it came to Lexie, I was always stunned when people would avoid her or think she was mean, simply because she was big, black, had a constant expression, and aloof disposition. It made me sad that they never took a second to learn that she was super sweet and possessed no mean bone in her body. Anyone who took a moment to know Lexie, was better for having met my best friend. I suppose that it why I write all of this. I wish people to know about this amazing dog with a kind heart. Back to where I was.

The troublesome golden retriever had the audacity to start following us. I tried to shoo him away, yelling at him, angry. But, he just backed up and followed from about twenty feet. He kept following, all the way home. When we got home, I placed Lexie in the car, so we could go to the vet. I went inside to call her doctor and explain what happened. He said to bring Lexie right over. I walked outside to find that freaking golden retriever still there. So, I put him in the backyard and headed to the vet clinic.

The vet brought Lexie back with her knee wrapped up, all the way to her paw. He said she had a luxated patella, which wasn’t a severe injury. Whew. He had put the patella back in place. Then, he broke into a long lecture about how the patella will continue to displace out of the groove in Lexie’s knee unless we do surgery to deepen that groove and yada yada yada, I had stopped listening. As a new dog owner, I rushed Lexie to the vet every time she had a runny nose, or I thought she swallowed a twig, or she just seemed to be acting strangely. Along those visits, I determined this particular vet was a frustrated surgeon who performed “normal” vet duties, simply for the income. Too often, he recommended a surgical solution. Each time, I said I wanted to wait a day or two and see how Lexie responded. Each time, I was stressed out and wondering if I was putting my dog at risk. Each time, Lexie was fine in a couple of days, from what ever ailment initiated the visit. In this specific instance, his recommendation felt very extreme, for a six month old, otherwise healthy, dog, who was still growing. The thought of my dog going into a significant surgery (his words), after only recently healing from her spay procedure, made me ill.

We never went back to that vet. She had stopped limping by the time we left the clinic and acted completely normal. I would diligently wrap up Lexie’s knee, try to limit her spastic outbursts, and watch her closely for a while. My thought was this: as Lexie got bigger and stronger, if we could give her some time for the soft tissue connecting her patella to recover, she would heal naturally. The vet had shown me how to re-align her patella, if it displaced again. There were times when I doubted my decision, during the subsequent weeks and months. When Lexie would sprint and then come to a quick stop, she would often pull up holding her leg. Supporting her hips, I would hold her knee, and slowly extend her leg straight back. Each time, I felt her patella slip back into place. Then, she would bolt forward like nothing ever happened. This happened often enough to make me worry that I messed up. But, the frequency happened less often. Then it stopped completely as she reached about 18 months. Fortunately, I had guessed correctly and our adventures were never affected by the overly exuberant golden retriever that blasted into her, on a casual morning walk.

Upon getting home, I still had to do something with the big-ass dog in the backyard, who, by now, had cleaned out Lexie’s food and water bowls.  I took Lexie outside to see what would happen, which would determine if I was going to just dump him at the Humane Society or put in some effort to getting him back home. Having calmed down, I found, although completely ill-mannered, an excessively sweet dog who simply wanted someone to play with him. He still wanted Lexie to play but, almost seeming to know she was hurt, he was much more gentle and considerate when he approached her. In keeping true to her nature, Lexie just ignored him. Considering how fat the boy was, I decided to call him Cartman. He didn’t care, as long as I was paying attention to him.

So, I drove to Cartman’s house and knocked on the door. No answer. I found some paper, left my number and explained that I had their dog. No call that day, so I fed Cartman and left him in the back yard, while keeping Lexie inside. He wasn’t mean but he could easily cause more damage, by accident. The next day, there was a message that Cartman didn’t live at that house and had simply shown up there, the day prior, and decided to hang out. They didn’t have any desire to have a dog. Crap. So, the next day, I found a no-kill, golden retriever rescue in a little town about 2-3 hours away. I told them the story and sent them pictures. They agreed to take him in but couldn’t pick him up for two days. A couple of days later, an old, mini pickup pulled into the driveway. A little old woman who had to be 70 years old, rang the door bell. I don’t even remember the name of the rescue or her name. But, this friendly old woman placed a slip-lead around a dog she had never met, who probably out-weighed her by twenty pounds, piled him into the cab of her little truck and began her long return drive. I was speechless at, quite frankly, her courage but also the unprovoked generosity she displayed. It was my first encounter with a dog rescuer. I am still incredibly impressed by her. What I didn’t tell her: if I had kept Cartman for one more day...I would have kept him. Our introduction couldn’t have been much worse but he was a true golden retriever, sweet, funny, and impossible to not fall in love with. In just the few days that I cared for him, I was able to teach him a few ground rules. He adapted quickly and I was able to trust he and Lexie sharing the backyard together, without supervision. Often, I have wondered where he ended up. I have no doubt that he found a home, he was a good boy. After many years where Lexie and I walked alone, I, often, ached that she was alone so much while I worked. In perfect hindsight, I would have kept one of her West Virginia siblings so she would have had some company while I was away. But, I have no doubt that Cartman would have been a great companion for my best friend, if I had the ability and foresight to make it happen. Ironic, this.

[hachych]

Herding Dog Breeds Comparison–Border Collie vs Australian Shepherd

                                                   Do you think Border collie vs Australian Shepherd dilemma is unnecessary? Is there an equivalent dog? Do they share equivalent features and personality traits? No, albeit both are shepherd dogs and herding dog breeds. While they're quite similar in some ways, for instance, they require many exercises and outdoor time, they also share some differences. The Border collie and Australian Shepherd are closely associated with one another and are available from an equivalent genealogy of Collies. History of the breed

 The Border collie features a long and rich history and tradition. The breed is an ancient dog, descending from Roman and Viking herding dog breeds. Described by many because the world’s most effective herding canine, the Border collie is now a British dog. This breed has incredible intelligence, tenacious work ethic, and because of his stunning look, he has captivated the hearts of the many dog lovers around the world. The Australian Shepherd, on the opposite hand, descends from the American West. it's some Australian roots, but it's an All-American breed. At just one occasion, he was considered cowboy’s ally. Modern-day Australian shepherds have many tasks and may fill different positions, including herding dog, performing within the rodeo, therapy dog, and in fact, a family companion. Appearance Between these two breeds, the Border collie is that the smaller ones, but not for an enormous margin. Their height can go between 18 and 22 inches, with a weight between 30 and 55lbs. The Aussie, on the opposite hand, grows between 18 and 23 inches and weighs between 40 and 65 lbs. Border Collies have short and floppy ears, a coat that be both smooth and rough, and a plumed tail. They are available in several colors, including Black White Blue Lilac Chocolate Red merle Brindle Red sable Gold Liver On the opposite hand, the Australian Shepherd features a long and dense coat, with a double layer that protects them from the weather. Same because the Border collie, the Aussie features a long tail, but short and folded ears. Some owners and breeders prefer to dock their dog’s tail for safety reasons or cleanliness. In terms of appearance, they need blue or brown eyes or one among each color, and a good range of coat colors, including Black Black tricolor Red merle Merle Blue merle Red Temperament These two breeds, are one among the foremost intelligent dog breeds within the world. The Border collie is on top of that list, while the Aussie within the top 10. Also, they're loaded with energy, making them hard to handle for novice owners. If you've got a busy schedule, neither of those dogs is for you. Border collies and Australian shepherds require plenty of exercise and training which will drain their energy. additionally, they love mental stimulation play. In some cases, because they're herding dogs, if you allow them without exercise, they could “work” reception. Both of those dog breeds are fine a family dogs, as long as they're trained and socialized at an early age. confine mind, they need their herding instincts, and that they will succumb to them if not exercised. that has herding smaller children and other household pets. Another thing to notice for his or her character and temperament, the Aussie are often a watchdog and can bark to alert owners when intruders are close. If you would like a dog that will protect your household, and act against attackers and protect the family, choose the Australian Shepherd. The Collie is a smaller amount of a watchful watchdog, but it'll also bark as an alarm. These dogs aren't fitted to apartment life, as they have vast and open space to roam in. due to their little stubbornness, the Aussie is often difficult for novice owners. Both are highly motivated by treats and praise, so use it to your advantage. Training Requirements We mentioned these dog breeds have a high level of intelligence and energy levels. meaning they're delightful to coach and can amaze you with their ability to find out. The Border collie wins here because the most intelligent dog who will absorb every ounce of data you throw at him. Many studies show the Border collie can learn quite 1,000 words. Chaser the Border collie was the neatest dog alive, and he knew quite 1,000 words in our grammar. on the average, a dog can learn around 100 words. The problem with high intelligence dogs is that they also accompany independent thinking. which will be an excessive amount of for novice owners to handle. If you underestimate one among these breeds, you'll find yourself being outsmarted by a dog. Training collies and Aussies should be firm and loving, using positive reinforcement training methods and obedience training. Both dogs are often susceptible to separation anxiety when left alone for an extended period, but it's more visible within the Aussie. Bored and anxious dogs can become destructive. Exercise requirements Your dog will need space to run freely, and two hours a minimum of dedicated to exercise on a day today. These breeds need much outdoor time, and without jobs, they're going to get quite bored. Aussies are fine with doggy jobs, and only one hour approximately of exercise. That is, as long there's a yard where your dog can run freely and play. Grooming Requirements Because the Border collie features a rougher coat and fur, they require a touch bit more grooming and diligence. It is often challenging to stay their fur healthy. Both of those require routine brushing and a medium amount of care. Health Concerns, Generally speaking, the Border collie and Aussie are healthy dog breeds. Their anticipation is 13 years for the Colie and between 13 and 15 years for an Australian Shepherd. a mixture between these two will live as long also. But there also are health concerns you've got to require into consideration. Border collies are susceptible to epilepsy, hip dysplasia, and deafness, especially if you've got a Blue Merle Collie. Aussies are susceptible to cataracts lymphoma, epilepsy, elbow dysplasia, cancer, and thyroid disease. Both breeds can inherit the Merle gene, which is related to vision and hearing problems. Puppies born to 2 Merle dogs are often deaf, blind, or born without eyes. Which one may be a better family pet? When you check out the Border collie vs Australian Shepherd comparison, the previous is best fitted to calm households and families with older children. Collies are often aloof with strangers and become very attached to families. The Aussie, on the opposite hand, bonds closely with any loved one and is keen to urge alongside everyone. However, the Australian Shepherd can become protective and territorial of his domain and family.

[disappearingground]

Rebound, rediscovery, rebirth: How Jenny Lewis made her best album in more than a decade

Washington Post March 15, 2019

Singer Jenny Lewis’s new album “On the Line” is her best work since her 2006 solo debut, “Rabbit Fur Coat.”

By Allison Stewart

Jenny Lewis has one of those faces. If you were to run into her in her natural habitat — a vintage clothing store or Whole Foods — you might recognize her, even if you’re not sure from where.

Lewis has spent almost her entire life lingering at the edges of everyone’s collective consciousness, first as a child actor, then as indie pop’s mid-’00s queen. “People think they know me personally, or we’re related, or from commercials that I was in as a child,” she says. “I just have a familiar face, because I’m weirdly Zelig-y.”

A few years back, Lewis and her longtime boyfriend, fellow singer-songwriter Johnathan Rice, broke up. It had been the formative, defining relationship of her life so far — they were practically married — and its dissolution forced her to look at the world in a new way, and to reassess the way the world looked at her.

“Can you imagine being 40 years old and thrust upon the digital dating scene after a 12-year relationship that started before cellphones?” Lewis asks. She couldn’t either, until it happened. She’s 43 now, just starting to find her footing, to figure out what she wants in a partner, and what the rest of her life might look like.

Many regular guys are afraid of her, rich guys seem unappealing (“I don’t date for the money. What’s the opposite of that?”), and she’s more famous than most of the artists she knows, which is potentially a problem. She reluctantly attended a JDate speed-dating event once because her godfather wanted her to meet a nice Jewish doctor. “It was way too weird,” she says, but at least no one recognized her.

The breakup and its painful, hopeful, way-too-weird aftermath are among the main subjects of Lewis’s new album “On the Line,” her best work since her 2006 solo debut, “Rabbit Fur Coat.” “It’s kind of like a play,” says Lewis, over lunch at the L.A. Farmers Market, over the hill from her Studio City home. “It begins with the breakup, and it’s rebound, rediscovery, rebirth, death, autonomy.”

In person, Lewis is vulnerable and disarming and warm. She won’t answer every question, but she seems like she’s at least considering it. She wears a mechanic’s jumpsuit and a trucker hat atop her familiar curtain of Marianne Faithfull bangs. She looks like the world’s sultriest gas station attendant.

After her breakup, Lewis moved to New York City. She stayed at her friend St. Vincent’s place in the East Village, and hung out with her girlfriends Erika Forster and Tennessee Thomas at Thomas’s venue, the Deep End Club. (The women formed a trio, played their first show at a Bernie Sanders rally, and released a self-titled album, “Nice as F---,” in 2016. It was probably a one-off.)

Lewis remembers watching a video of Ringo Starr and Harry Nilsson playing on the roof of the Capitol Records building circa 1974, with Ringo wearing a bright blue onesie with a star on the front. She must have watched this video a thousand times back then, because God, she loves Ringo, and she’s also partial to onesies.

During this the time, Lewis had taken to wearing Come to Me oil, an herbal compound she’d bought in a neighborhood potions shop. After acquiring the oil, you’re supposed to set an intention, something you want to happen — “You have to be very careful with it” — and then you wait.

She wasn’t trying to bring forth anyone in particular, she just wanted a good thing to happen; Ringo wound up playing drums on “On the Line” not too long after that. “I feel like I conjured Ringo,” she says. (Note: Maybe! But Don Was, the super-connected super producer who contributed to the album, also might have brought him aboard.)

“On the Line” was made in stages, and features production by Ryan Adams and Beck, working separately. In the days before this interview, Adams was accused of emotionally abusing and harassing female musicians.

Lewis says her relationship with Adams was strictly professional and is reluctant to say much more, but this is basically what happened: Adams began work on Lewis’s last album, 2014’s “The Voyager,” but could not be persuaded to finish. Lewis reenlisted him to produce “On the Line,” hoping things would work out differently. They didn’t.

“We began the record together two years ago, and after five or six days in the studio we stopped working together,” Lewis says, carefully. “I took the record and finished those songs without him, and then went in the studio with Beck to record the rest of the songs.”

It was not an amicable break. “I was left in the lurch, and again this happens to me in my life, where I’m faced with getting back to myself and refocusing,” she says.

The juxtaposition between Adams and Beck, one of rock’s all-time reasonable men, was stark. “There are these figures that come along when I’m engaged in these unhealthy creative relationships,” Lewis says, “and they appear just long enough to say: ‘You can do this on your own. You’re good. I can help you, but it’s yours.’ ”

“On the Line” is slower and more muted than Lewis’s past albums; there are gently swinging retro-country ballads, mostly sad, with an emphasis on pianos and organs, the latter provided by Benmont Tench, former keyboardist for Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Petty died during a break in the sessions, followed weeks later by the death of Lewis’s mother. Lewis had a complicated relationship with her mother, who struggled with heroin addiction and mental illness, and from whom she had been semi-estranged.

Weeks after her mother died, Lewis recorded the album standout “Little White Dove,” a bottom-heavy ballad about her final days. “I’m still afraid of a lot of things, but I don’t know if I’m afraid of dying,” she says. “Having been through that with my mother, that’s not as scary to me as it once was, which I think is a really liberating thing to go through. I’m afraid of cancer, I’m afraid of the archaic medical tools, but I’m not afraid of the other stuff.”

Growing up, Lewis’s home life had been tumultuous. She had worked fairly steadily as a child actress since the age of 3; in a Jell-O commercial, the Shelley Long comedy “Troop Beverly Hills,” the 1989 Fred Savage nerdfest “The Wizard.” She shared the screen with everyone from Angelina Jolie to Lucille Ball. “There was this normalcy on the set, and there was a meal, and the routine of it. Every time I’d start a new project, there would be a new family.”

Lewis’s father wasn’t a presence in her life, but his role was played by a series of reassuring ’80s television dads. “Corbin Bernsen, David Strathairn, Peter Scolari,” Lewis remembers. “These guys that played my dads, they were the best guys.”

Lewis found the same stability in Rilo Kiley, the band she and guitarist Blake Sennett (who was also a child actor, and her future ex-boyfriend), formed in the late-’90s. Bands, like film sets, were a makeshift source of shelter. When Lewis later heard that inmates in women’s prisons formed family units on the inside, she immediately understood — it was kind of like that on tour.

When Lewis recorded “Rabbit Fur Coat” with female backing duo the Watson Twins, things in Rilo Kiley were already rocky. The album, a country-gospel-soul mash-up that she estimates took five days to make, became a cultural sensation that changed the course of her career. At 30, she felt free for the first time. She and the Twins wore matching outfits onstage, and, unlike in Rilo Kiley, nobody yelled at each other. She couldn’t believe how easy it was. Rilo Kiley released one more album before disbanding.

Lewis has always felt that her songs are prophetic somehow, like they knew things that would happen to her before she did. She is still struck by the naivete of many of those early songs, but she wonders if she was setting intentions she didn’t know about. “I’m always surprised by my songs, at either how irrelevant or relevant they feel,” she says. “There’s hidden messages to myself in there. It’s like I’m singing to my future and past self.”

When Lewis was in her 30s, she wrote the “Voyager” track “Just One of the Guys,” a song about a perennial Cool Girl beginning to doubt her life choices (“When I look at myself all I can see / I’m just another lady without a baby”). The song wasn’t a hit, but it was a big deal, and it was accompanied by a buzzy video starring Kristen Stewart, Brie Larson, Tennessee Thomas and Anne Hathaway, a friend from her acting days.

Lewis says the song wasn’t biographical (“My songs aren’t the paper of record. There’s a lot of wiggle room in there”), and isn’t meant to seem sad — just matter of fact. But pop music is short on songs about women confronting their empty uteruses, and it struck a nerve with fans, who still ask her about it.

The further Lewis gets from the track, the closer she feels. She’s “a career girl and a survivalist,” on the road so much she can’t even get a dog. But she’s back living in Studio City now, in the house she lived in with Rice, a green and brown house called Mint Chip. Mint Chip has seen countless late-night jam sessions and dissolute ragers. Mint Chip is a vibe.

But the people Lewis rented it to during her time in New York had a baby there during her absence (they asked her first, it’s fine), and the idea of a baby in Mint Chip seems strangely not awful. At the very least, it’s a means of exorcising the house’s dark breakup juju.

Children aren’t something Lewis needs, or are something she is even sure she wants. But she wonders about them, especially lately, and she feels the weight of other people wondering, too.

“There’s so much anxiety around the subject,” she says, tapping meaningfully at an imaginary watch on her wrist. “This is all I talk about with my girlfriends. There’s biological pressure, there’s this sense that you aren’t a complete person. People kind of look at you weird, like, Auntie Mame-style. It’s not whether I want it or don’t want it, we’ll see where life takes me. My time ain’t up yet.”

[dinedreamdiscover]

60 things to be thankful for in 60 years

I will be turning 60 in October and I'm not really depressed about it because In 60 years I am thankful for so many things and here is my list!

60 things I’m thankful for in 60 years

Let me start off by saying that this post isn't meant to be a depressing post. At first it might come across that way to you but it's about all the things I am thankful for in the (almost) 60 years that I've been on this earth. October will be here soon enough but trust me....I'm not rushing it. lol

1. Thankful to be Alive. First and foremost I thank God that I am here to celebrate by 60th birthday. There are so many don't have the opportunity to do that. My sister was one of those people. She died at the age of 51. Her husband also passed at the age of 55. My husband's brother was killed at the age of 28 by a drunk driver. 

2. My Parents. I am thankful that I had mom on this earth until the age of 98. My dad passed at 75 and he was there to help everyone as much as he could while he was with us. I miss them both dearly but and thankful for years they were here. 

3. Children. I have two wonderful sons and I couldn't be more thankful for both of them. They both turned into awesome young men and husbands.

4. Grandchildren. I have been blessed with five beautiful grandchildren. Three boys and two girls with the oldest at 13 and youngest at 5. 

5. A Roof Over my Head. Something like this may seem trivial to some, however, there are so many people people that are homeless and don't have that, to me it's a blessing. Whether it's a regular home or for the past two years, our RV, I'm covered...literally.

 The little Things 6. A Job When I Needed It. I was blessed to have had a job for most of my life. I started working at the age of 14 and was employed until I retired.  7. A Vehicle. Thankfully I had a (working) vehicle for the majority of my life. It might seem like a small thing but it was there when I needed it.

8. Food on my Table. I am lucky in the fact that there is food on my table. There may have been times when it was low but I made it through the tough times.

9. Clothes on my Back. Believe it or not, there are people that are less fortunate and cannot afford the clothing they need. Which is one reason I try to give clothing I no longer need to the people that need it the most.  10. Good Health. Even though my health hasn't been so great lately, I am still able to get out of move and move around. 11 - 20 things to be thankful for:  11. Pets. I don't know what I would do without my fur babies. Right now we only have the one German Shepherd Dog, but it gets lonely when there isn't one around. She really is family.

12. Money. I don't have a lot of money, but I have enough to survive.  13. Good Friends. I don't have a lot of friends, however, the friends that I do have are true friends. Friends that I have known most of my life and can be trusted. Ones that are there if I need them to lean on. 14. Having a Partner. Sometimes things don't work out between two people and they must part ways. I live by the old saying that everything happens for a reason. I am lucky enough to have found someone to spend the rest of my life with.

15. Sunshine. The sun is an entegral part of living. Without it we, at least I know I wouldn't/couldn't survive. It makes me feel good and gives me energy. 

Stuff not to take for granted: 16. My Eyesight. I am thankful for my eyesight because without it I wouldn't be able to see the beautiful places that we get visit.  17. My Hearing. I'm thankful for being able to hear people talking to me, to be able to listen to music and hear the TV. 18. Freedom. I am thankful for all those that served in the Military and allowing me to have freedom. 

19. Electricity. Without electricity we wouldn't have the ability to do most of things that we do today. 20. The Internet. I wouldn't be writing this post without the Internet. lol 21-30: 21. Relationships. Since I've started blogging in 2012, I have met so many people. Girls, Guys, kids and even pets.

22. Traveling. Even before we had our RV, we did a lot of traveling. I am thankful that we can do that.

23. Sunrises and Sunsets. I love sunrises and sunsets. Although, I'm usually not up to catch the sunrise. I am always taking pictures of sunsets too. lol

24. The Hallmark Channel. Call me crazy, but I love all those Christmas movies that pretty much have the same story line. If it's a romantic movie, count me in.  25. Pet Movies. While we are on the subject of movies, if there's a story with pets, specifically dogs in it, you better believe I'm watching it. And most probably crying while watching it. Eight Below gets me every time no matter how many times I've seen it.  Things Everyone should be thankful for: 26. Old Photos and Home Movies. I love looking at old photos and home movies. My uncle gave me some old 8mm movies and I had them transferred onto CD's. I can watch them over and over and I get a huge smile on my face every time. 27. Courteous People. It seems like there aren't very many courteous people around anymore. People that will hold a door open for you, say thank you, stop if you need help, etc. 28. Holidays. It's getting to be that time of the year when my favorite holidays are coming. Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are totally my favorite and it shows when I decorate.  29. Memories. I am thankful that I can still remember all the wonderful memories I have. Memories of my family, when I was little, my wild teenage years and all my family members.  30. Love. This kind of goes hand in hand with the partner. Although it's possible to have a partner and not have love, I am thankful for both. The love of my parents and children is more to be thankful for. 31 - 40 things to be thankful for: 31. Coffee. Without coffee I would be dragging all day. lol 32. Things I Have. I am thankful for what I have. Some people wish for more and think the grass is greener on the other side. But that isn't always true. 33. My iPhone. Do you ever wonder what we did before smartphones? I have 40,000 pictures on my phone. We're able to talk to anyone and see anyone via video.  34. Scenery. The mountains, ocean, forests and more.

35. Wineries. Who ever thought of wine tastings at wineries and wine tours was an amazing person. I love visiting them and tasting all the different wines available across the US. Which is we signed up for Harvest Hosts. We are able to stay over at wineries for one night in our RV and it's simply amazing.

Things we all experience: 36. Great Recipes. Everyone has recipes that have been passed down from their parents and grandparents. Those are the recipes that you cherish and that bring back memories of happy times with family. 37. Mistakes. Trust me when I say that I am thankful for all the mistakes that I've made in my life. They have made me a better person and I have learned so much from them. I might have made the same mistake two or three times, but I learned. lol 38. Hugs. Hugs make you feel good and as it turns out is good for you. It's proven to make you happier and healthier. 39. Smiles. Did you know that if force yourself to smile even when you are in a bad mood, it can help you to feel better? Plus it makes other's smile too.  40. Family. This probably should have been listed as one of the top things under mom, dad, children and grandchildren. Where would we be without family. I love my sisters even though it's rarely said. Our family always got together weekly when I was little. Families don't do that anymore and it's kind of sad. We try to as much as possible but you know how life gets in the way most of the time. :(

41 - 50: 41. Music. I love music. I love singing along and music makes me feel good and forget all my worries.  42. Disney. Ever since I visited Disneyland when I was 9 with my mom and sister, I have loved it. Which is probably the reason we moved 15 minutes from Disney World back in 2003.

43. My Mind. I am thankful that I can still remember things. My mom had dementia that last couple years of her life and it's a very sad disease. She didn't know me but I knew it was the disease and not her.  44. Being Able to Take Care of My Mom. I am thankful that my husband was willing to move in with my mom to take care of her when she started to go downhill. I vowed I would NEVER put my mother in a nursing home and we were both retired and able to take care of her. 

45. Opportunities. Not everyone is able get the opportunity to do some of the things that I did. I flew to Germany when I was 17 and even though I was young and really didn't get to see too much of the country, I still had the opportunity.  Where would we be without these things? 46. Teachers. Even though I didn't realize it at the time, my teachers taught me most of things I needed to know. There was also a few things I didn't need, like shorthand. lol 47. Water. Believe it or not, there are many countries where water is not as plentiful as we have here. We have plenty to drink, bathe, enjoy and use. 48. Rockets. I am thankful that I have had the opportunity to see a rocket or two launch from Cape Canaveral. No matter how many times I have seen them go up, it is still amazing every time I see them.

49. Beach. Nothing is more relaxing than being on the beach listening to the waves crashing. As long as there are waves. lol

50. Healthcare. This has been a rough year health wise for me. If it weren't for the wonderful nurses and Dr.'s at South Lake Hospital, I don't know where I'd be.  51 - 60 things to be thankful for: 51. Air Conditioning. I don't know how we ever survived without air conditioning growing up. Maybe it wasn't as hot, maybe we didn't know what it was, ha, but I do know that I could NEVER survive without it now....in our home or our vehicle. 52. Social Media. Without it I wouldn't get to keep up with things going in my family. I get to see pictures of everyone and birthdays and weddings that we can't be at in person. 53. Life Experiences. All life experiences good and bad. Thankful for change and the journey it brings! 54. Laughter. Laughing daily is good for your health. And it makes you feel good. 55. Bathtubs. This is probably the thing I miss most in our RV. We had a jacuzzi tub in both our last two homes and I would just love to sit and soak my troubles away. I know of one RV that has a beautiful tub, but it didn't have any of the other features that we were looking for. :(

Last but not Least: 56. My Snack Bar. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to own my own little Snack Bar for four years. I loved doing it and people loved my food which is always a good thing.  57. Today. Be thankful for all you have, because you never know what will happen next. Life is too short. Live life to the fullest everyday. 58. Exactly What I Have. I am thankful for exactly what I have. Everyone always wants more, but I'm content. I didn't realize how much stuff we had until we started liquidating all the clutter for full time RV Travel. You don't realize how much stuff you have until you have to move it. UGH! 59. The Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta. I am so excited to be able to attend the Balloon Fiesta this year for my 60th birthday celebration. It's been on my bucket list forever and this year I vowed to make it happen. Follow along on our Instagram page with the hashtag #60thBirthdayCelebration. 

60. YOU! Without you, my readers, I wouldn't be sitting here writing this post because there would be no reason to. Thank you. 

What are some of the things that you're  thankful for?

Read the full article

[everyonelovesmya]

Mya RIP 9/12/17

Mya was my first dog ever. I’m in my 40s. Growing up Filipino, at least at my house, meant that dogs were treated like livestock. When it was freezing outside they were kept outside. “She’s got fur to keep her warm.” When they were sick they were taken to the SPCA to be put down. My parents didn’t believe in spending money on medication or treatment for an animal. Needless to say the SPCA put them on a list for doing that too many times.

I learned about heartbreak this way, and not getting too attached to pets. Too many times they disappeared to that mysterious farm that sounded an awful lot like heaven with its wide-open fields for running and playing. So even though I loved animals I never trusted myself to make a good pet parent. I had no skills or practice. Too many hamsters died under my watch. RIP Rascal and Sweettart.

But then I started watching Cesar Milan’s Dog Whisperer and exploring dog fostering. I learned all about how dogs needed to be walked regularly; all this time I thought running around in a backyard was enough for them.

Love at First Sight

Mya was my third foster. The first one was a skittish escape artist of a German Shepherd mix, the second a bland mutt that was also skittish.

Meeting Mya changed my world view. At the West LA animal shelter when I first walked up to her kennel she was the only dog who was sitting nicely at the gate, while all others in the other kennels were jumping frantically against their gates barking to be let out.

Back in the shelter office as we were signing the papers to get her out she was playful, carrying her own leash in her mouth and chasing the ball we threw her way. She looked so happy running up to everyone in the office with that big pitbull smile. There was no fear, only love.

She was the easiest dog to love and won me over. Thanks to her I got over my fear of commitment and finally adopted her.

Mya quirks:

She liked to carry her own leash and actually walked herself around the neighborhood, with us following behind.

She could help herself to drinking fountains. During a walk she’d recognize a fountain, jump up to put her front feet on it and wait for us to turn it on for her.

We could easily rile her up by whispering excitedly, “Go git it!” or “Where is it?” She’d take off immediately after some imaginary cat, her posture tensed up in atttack mode and her tail stick straight.

When she walked her bouncing gait made her cute felt ears move up and down like bat wings. #batwingears

She loved rolling on her back while on the grass and would thrash around like freshly caught trout all while panting and smiling.

For some reason she’d “bark” at passing cars. But not actually make a sound, only pantomime barking by snarling up her face and “barking.” We never could figure out why.

She was insanely addicted to dried up fish sticks. In her final years when she could no longer jump fish sticks were the one treat that she’d jump up for. We’d hide them somewhere in the living room and she’d sniff around for them.

She always waited patiently to eat, waiting til you set her food bowl down and invited her to have at it before she dug in.

If you rubbed her ear holes just the right way she’d groan, closing her eyes because it felt so good.

She’d very passive aggressively grumble or whine to herself when she thought you forgot her breakfast. She wouldn’t go up to you and do this, she’d lie on her bed while eyeballing you.

Whenever guests came over she’d howl and then get a bone from her den to bring to them.

She was scared of other dogs, even if they were chihuahuas or tiny puppies. She never tried to attack them but would rather ignore and avoid them. It was only if they got too close that she emit a demon growl. If they got in her face their nose would get bit.

Squirrels and cats didn’t register with her. She didn’t really seem to have a prey drive. They could run past her and she wouldn’t react. Although she did growl when a kitten came up to her to sniff her paw.

When riding in a car unlike most dogs she didn’t like to stick her head out the window. She’d rather curl up in a ball. Maybe because she got car sick?

When taking her for walks I had liked to play hide and seek with her because if I was out of view she wouldn’t continue walking with my boyfriend until she knew where I was.

Terms of endearment for Mya:

Baby dog

Baby line

Poopy

Puppy

Snorpy pup

We adopted Mya on February 12, 2011. The shelter would have actually put her down on Valentine’s Day if we hadn’t rescued her. She was my forever Valentine.

Life With Mya

Years with Mya consisted of road trips to 24 Hours of Lemons races and the occasional long sojourn up North to Oregon. She was an excellent road trip companion, napping quietly most of the way in the backseat. We also loved taking her on hikes, loading her with a pack for our water bottles so she’d have a “job.”

I wished I could take her everywhere with me. She was better behaved than all the fake service dogs out there and could have easily passed for a service dog. At a table she’d lay quietly at my feet. Never begging for food.

Mya was loyal, loving and so sensitive. She was unsettled whenever we were upset. And whenever I was sad or stressed I could calm down by rubbing her tummy or stroking her velvet ears. She was my therapy dog.

It Happened So Fast

Her health seemed to have declined rapidly even though we saw signs of what we thought was arthritis increasing: stiffness when walking, shaking legs. Turned out it was degenerative myelopathy. Even though Mya survived mast cell tumor and four operations, it was the inability to walk or stand that lead to her death.

Mere weeks passed by where she went from being able to walk around the block to having to be carried and held up so she could use the bathroom. And every time we had to let her out, about every two to three hours, she was in so much pain as we lifted her up to standing so she could relieve herself. In those final days the light had gone out of her eyes. Her tail no longer wagged, not even when we returned from a trip. She was done and I had to recognize that.

I called the vet to ask for her opinion. I didn’t want to put Mya down when there was still hope for her. But the vet said it was time to say goodbye. Mya’s quality of life was no longer good, there were more bad days than good.

The End

We decided on an in-house euthanasia so she’d be in a familiar and comfortable setting, not at the vet office that had stressed her out.

Having never had a pet that aged out the process of euthanasia was new to me. The vet from Serenity Veterinary Care explained everything he’d do and what that would look like so we weren’t surprised if her breathing sped up or her eyes were still open after she passed.

We had set Mya down on a blanket on her favorite spot in the living room bordering the dining room. It’s where she spent her last days since we spent most of our time in the living room. It’s where I sat when working from home, where we watched TV, had dinner and drank wine and cocktails. It was in the middle of the action.

The first injection was the sedative so that she was relaxed enough to receive the intravenous needle for the anesthesia. And even though Mya seemed relaxed, as soon as she felt the first prick of the needle she immediately reared up with a pained bray turning back at the vet like, “What the fuck, dude?”

We petted her to console her and she was feeling the sedative within minutes. The vet then inserted the intravenous needle into her foot. I kind of wish he had told us that he was then going to inject the final fatal dosage so I could have held onto that moment longer. But that was probably why he didn’t. I just noticed Mya’s breathing got erratic like it did when she was dreaming. But then she stopped. When she did I pulled my hands back from her. This was no longer Mya. I didn’t want to look at her or touch her anymore. “That’s not her,” I kept saying through tears to my boyfriend. But then I steeled myself and made myself look at her and touch her and kiss her. Because I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t say goodbye with one last caress and kiss.

Mya passed away peacefully in the sleeping position she favored. Her eyes were a little open like they were when she was in a deep sleep. I’d like to think she was finally relieved, not having to feel any more pain.

Afterward a woman from Serenity wrapped Mya in a blanket with a bouquet of flowers tucked in next to her and secured her to a stretcher. I thought that was so weird at first but then realized she wanted us to have a positive last memory of Mya.

Since Mya was a bigger dog than she was told the woman needed help carrying her to her car. I was kind of glad to be able to do that, be a pallbearer at my baby dog’s short funeral. We carried her to the woman’s waiting black Prius and loaded her into the open hatchback. I got to kiss Mya on her head one last time and then waited til the black Prius finally drove out of view.

Right now I’m a waste product. This is the most pain I’ve ever experienced and the most I’ve ever cried. I try to take comfort by thinking that all this pain is the result of loving Mya so so much. There will never be another dog like her. Every pet owner says that, I know, but she was truly one of a kind, a dear, sweet dog who had always looked at me with loving eyes. She seemed to take comfort from my proximity to her as I did her. I will miss her so much.

[obscuraxrp]

The smoke settles to reveal LIU XINYI, a 29 year old raiju-blooded of Sunseong. They are a tattoo artist who appears to be adept in shapeshifting and magic tattooing — but like most things in Sunseong, there must be more to them than meets the eye.

FACECLAIM: amber liu, f(x)

APPEARANCE:

With two full sleeves of tattoos, and the somewhat eccentric choices they make in fashion, Xīnyí often stands out in a crowd, but they appear completely human to the average eye. Someone with more astute magical senses might notice the specter of a blueish white dog looming over them, a representation of their power and heritage.

While they’ve learned to maintain a human form, naturally they have a number of inhuman traits. Most noticeable are long white ears and a bushy tail, but there’s a mouth full of fangs, electric blue eyes, a ‘mane’ of blue-ish white fur down their back, and long claws to complete the picture. They’ve gotten fairly adept at keeping a human appearance, but when they do slip, glowing blue eyes and fangs are the first to appear. They’ve since also managed to shift further in the other direction with hard work. Their animal form is difficult to maintain, and appears to be almost semi-solid, a creature made at least partially of lightning. While it’s naturally about the size of a large wolf, the proportions are closer to a fox than anything. Regardless, it’s definitely canine, and has big teeth.

BIOGRAPHY:

Beast-Blooded are often insular communities, and Xīnyí’s family may of well have been the archetype. Hailing from Taiwan, They had a long and rich history, and were fiercely proud of the magic that ran in their blood. However, Xīnyí was never particularly interested in upholding the family traditions. Born the youngest child to her beast-blooded mother, they were only the second of five to take after her heritage, and was doted upon excessively by the extended family of aunties and cousins. That attention was never something that Xīnyí craved, and by the time they were old enough to run, they were old enough to spend as much time as possible sneaking out into the woods on the family property, climbing trees and chasing local wildlife. While their mother had a charm made up to give them an illusionary human appearance when they too young still to shift themselves, the lack of control they had over their more dangerous natural abilities meant that Xīnyí was largely taught by private tutors, and had little contact with human children. When they were young, they made a game of it, skulking around the local playgrounds in an effort to convince the other children that they were demon, but other than their siblings, most of whom were much older, Xīnyí spent almost no time at all with humans growing up.

By the time they’d mastered a human appearance, Xīnyí had little idea of how to relate to humanity itself. They might have isolated themselves entirely from it like much of their family had, if they hadn’t found their relatives just as difficult to understand and even more frustrating. The pressure to marry and produce another beast-blooded offspring started as soon as they turned 18, and only got more intense as their older siblings began to reproduce. Xīnyí got a job in the human world as an apprentice to a tattoo artist that specialized in magically imbued tattoos, though Xīnyí’s magic was basic enough that their work appealed mostly to humans who had no magical talent of their own, and then later as they improved, who took an interest in their style. With a source of money, they moved away from home and started a new life for themselves, but the looming specter of their family was difficult to dodge. Often literally, as Xīnyí was forced to duck into storefronts when they spotted someone they recognized further down the street.

Eventually, after an aunt burst into a fit of sobs on their doorstep, begging them to return to the family, Xīnyí changed their name and fled the country, though not before commissioning their master for a tattoo a little more powerful than the regular fare, and able to help them stay off the radar. At least for a couple decades, until they feel ready to face them again. The chaos and unchecked power made South Korea too tempting of a destination for them to resist, and the rumor that their eldest brother lived in Sunseong made it their final choice. With their families opinion on him, it would be the last place they’d look for Xīnyí.

CHARACTERIZATION:

“And why South Korea?” One of the man’s hands was firmly below the base of their skull, keeping Xīnyí’s still while he inscribed careful black lines in their skin just below his hand with the other, following some pattern entirely in his head. The more magic, the slower and more careful the project, but Jùnxián was a master at his craft and knew what he was doing well enough for it to be second nature.

Not normally one of many words, Xīnyí would have shrugged if they’d been able, but they were sure that would only earn them a cuff in the head for moving. As many tattoos as they had, Xīnyí was notoriously squirmy, though more because they had difficulty sitting still than the pain. Still Jùnxián wasn’t normally one for conversation either, and the fact that he was asking meant something. At least enough that they owed him an answer.

“My eldest brother lives there,” they said eventually, voice muffled into the table they were laying on. Jùnxián paused for a moment, needle hesitating a second on their skin. Xīnyí’s breath caught with it.

“Ah. Your brother,” he repeated neutrally, but Xīnyí knew he wasn’t an idiot, and there was even more unspoken between his words. They had never spoken fondly of family in their life, and certainly not to him. And of course, he knew exactly what South Korea was like these days, and how that sort of chaos might appeal to someone young and eager to find their own way. Someone who had never gotten a chance to test properly what kind of power they possessed.

“There’s a good market there too. Lots of kids eager to make their parents angry with a tattoo,” Xīnyí added after a few silent minutes had passed, not wanting to give voice to the lingering unspoken words between them. The buzz of Jùnxián’s needle was loud in their ears. “I’ll come back a few times a year for a guest spot. Touch ups for regulars,” they promised, but Jùnxián’s hold on the back of their neck tightened, pushing their head forwards a little. As far as Xīnyí could tell, partially to straighten their spine and the working surface, and partially to rub their nose into the table.

“Hold still,” Jùnxián chastised, but there was more fondness in his tone than anything else. Xīnyí’s shoulders dropped as some of the tension left them, and Jùnxián tsked at the movement, adjusting his grip as continued the tattoo. "Just be careful won’t you. I spent too long training you for that to all be wasted.“

Xīnyí grinned against the table, though he couldn’t see. "Promise. Nothing you wouldn’t do.”

“That isn’t that comforting,” Jùnxián laughed, and Xīnyí couldn’t help a chuckle of their own, though they were quickly rewarded with a sharp smack to the back of their head. “Stop wiggling!”

SPECIALTIES:

Shapeshifting

RANK II (40 Points)

Because their more natural form is dangerous to those around them, they spent a lot of time carefully learning to keep their appearance human. However, they also were just as interested in exploring the alternate side of their heritage, and tapping into that power. So far they’re able to consistently manage a more animalistic form of a large white wolf like creature, and can maintain it for awhile. With a great deal of effort and energy, they can also change themselves entirely to lightning to quickly travel a modest distance, but it’s not something they enjoy doing. Because the beast they’re descended from is so closely tied to lightning, these forms are dangerous and without care they could easily hurt someone since they give off a strong electric current. Because of this, they also avoid getting wet when in these forms, mostly for the safety of others.

Tattooing (magical imbued tattooing)

RANK II (20 Points)

They have always had some raw power, and a little natural control over electricity, but past that very little magical talent. They apprenticed themselves to Jùnxián, a local tattoo artist who specialized in both the art and in creating tattoos that served a similar magical purpose as a ward. He was a fairly strong sorcerer with a lifetime of practice, and taught them to channel their talents to some degree. However, their tattoos have limited power, things like a tattoo over a joint to help ease an ache or that changes color when exposed to a certain type of magic or chemical. They also tattoo humans, but don’t include anything out of the ordinary for them unless asked.

Greater Ward Against Detection

(10 points)

They have a tattoo on the back of their neck that contains the magic. It prevents them from being located through magical means, whether the intention is benevolent or not. At first glance it looks much like a spiral, or perhaps a circle maze, though upon closer inspection it’s more random than that, and the lines don’t always meet. It’s difficult to focus on too long, or follow the lines with your eyes. However it runs off their own magic, and could be circumvented by someone who had a good enough sample of their magical signature for use in tracking them.

[bambl-ing]

I'm…going to ask for all the get to know me asks, haha. ^^;

I WONDERED IF YOU WOULD BUT I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

alright get ready for wAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

1. What is you middle name?jokes on u I don’t have one

2. How old are you?20, but I feel eternally 17 which grows more and more awkward with each passing year

3. What is your birthday?10/05/1996

4. What is your zodiac sign?Libra !

5. What is your favorite color?it’s a tie between orange and purpleI also like blue 

6. What’s your lucky number?5

7. Do you have any pets?a dog, two cats, and a snake!

8. Where are you from?like where was I born ? I was actually born in Korea, but I moved to the states when I was 2

9. How tall are you?like maybe 5′7″ or 8″ idk it’s been a few years

10. What shoe size are you?Sometimes 8, sometimes 9

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?more than I ever thought I would, probably not as many as other people

12. What was your last dream about?I was at my old manager’s house and she had me doing laundry, but when I put the clothes in the dryer it started filling with water and I was like “um I don’t think it’s supposed to do that” and she was like “oh no I know what’s going on” and she told me about this time in ‘86 when all across the country, everyone who had washed their clothes with a certain kind of soap went to bed and were rudely awoken by their clothes just randomly flooding water out ? 

so then she was like “that’s what’s happening but it should stop soon, so if you could just take apart the dryer and let it drain before putting it back together and drying the clothes that would be great” but then she also had a really old shelf unit that she wanted me to build but I had a thing I had to go to in like, an hour? and there just wasn’t enough time to take apart and rebuild the dryer AND the shelf, so I was a little annoyed and also like “crap, which one should I do first”

13. What talents do you have?uh. nothing out of the ordinary really ?14. Are you psychic in any way?nah (at least not that I’m aware of and nobody’s mentioned anything)

15. Favorite song?The Middle by Jimmy Eat World

16. Favorite movie?uhhhh…I guess right now Arrival? I just REALLY want to see it again alsdfh

17. Who would be your ideal partner?someone who respected me and who I could trust completely 

18. Do you want children?NAH

19. Do you want a church wedding?don’t really want to get married either? unless like, the benefits…,,

20. Are you religious?Not really 

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?yis

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?nope

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?I mean I went to Warped Tour and met a bunch of bands does that count

24. Baths or showers?you know if I had an actual nice big bathtub in which I could actually submerge myself without my knees awkwardly sticking out and getting cold, I would probably really like baths?? I’d definitely shower first though, baths would be for soaking in warmth

25. What color socks are you wearing?I’m wearing two pairs, white and the other is white and blue

26. Have you ever been famous?LOL NOPE

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?not really, all that attention…………

28. What type of music do you like?all of it

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?nah

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?4 ( ᐛ )

31. What position do you usually sleep in?I can and will sleep in any position, lately I’ve been falling asleep on my back though because Jack’s been sleeping by my pillow and I like to shove my face in his fur, nice n soft

32. How big is your house?not that big, but big enough

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?cereal of some kind or a bagel and butter, sometimes a cheese omlette if I have enough time

34. Have you ever fired a gun?nope

35. Have you ever tried archery?yes ! and I loved it

36. Favorite clean word?a few, serendipity, soliloquy, and haphazard just off the top of my head

37. Favorite swear word?I can work pretty well with any of them in the right mood

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?maybe like two days ? maybe a lil more I dunno

39. Do you have any scars?a few here and there

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?well if they’re secret i wouldnt kno would i ( ᐛ )

41. Are you a good liar?unfortunately I think so, as long as like…the benefit of the lie outweighs my guilt over lying

42. Are you a good judge of character?I got no clue

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?really badly sure

44. Do you have a strong accent?I mean I don’t think I have any kind of accent ? 

45. What is your favorite accent?Cajun( •⌄• )✧

46. What is your personality type?like the MBTI? I’m an INFJ

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?as if I’d remember (probably nothing that expensive tho)

48. Can you curl your tongue?yeah but I can’t do the clover thing

49. Are you an innie or an outie?innie

50. Left or right handed?Leftie !

51. Are you scared of spiders?yeah but I don’t like killing them unless they’re in my room and I don’t have a jar

52. Favorite food?how do people pick one food like,,, there’s so much good food, food is so good??

53. Favorite foreign food?again, how ????

54. Are you a clean or messy person?more messy than clean, but I also get really annoyed with too much mess and then angry clean

55. Most used phrased?if I’m counting everything I say out loud AND what I just think to myself, probably “you’re stupid,” “shut the fuck up,” “fuck you,” and “I’m going to stab you” 

…all of these are aimed at myself, and it probably makes me sound really self-hateful? X’D but I’m not, I just get frustrated with myself and am always 100% done with my shit

56. Most used word?probably “I” “a” or “the” going statistically lmao

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?depends, I usually shower at night but my showers are usually 15-20 minutes, and for work I have to put my hair up and also a hat, and I’ve got blunt bangs that I have to make sure are perfect, u know? so give me another like 8 minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego?no, not really at all

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?suck, then when they get small it’s been a few minutes and I’m impatient so I crunch ‘em

60. Do you talk to yourself?oh yes

61. Do you sing to yourself?me and only me

62. Are you a good singer?no? maybe? average? I’m probably not that terrible but when other people are around I become terrified and choke up and die

63. Biggest Fear?People™

64. Are you a gossip?only with my close friends who I know won’t spread the gossip

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?hlkfshdfos I don’t watch enough movies and my memory isn’t that great 

66. Do you like long or short hair?long !

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?give me a pencil and paper and like an hour

68. Favorite school subject?English and PE

69. Extrovert or Introvert?Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?I’ve been snorkeling, close ?

71. What makes you nervous?A Lot

72. Are you scared of the dark?yes, but sometimes nah

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?mostly no if they’re strangers (it’s terrifying to do that okay), but occasionally yeah

74. Are you ticklish?very, don’t touch my sides

75. Have you ever started a rumor?not that I can remember, and I don’t think I ever would intentionally?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?define authority

77. Have you ever drank underage?in the presence of my mother, yeah

78. Have you ever done drugs?nah brah

79. Who was your first real crush?probably like…third grade, this kid named Micah. idk if it was a “real” crush, but like I really liked him and wanted to hang out and talk about dragons

80. How many piercings do you have?4, double piercings in my ears

81. Can you roll your Rs?yep

82. How fast can you type?I actually knew this at one point in like sophomore or junior year? it was either 86 or 96 CPM, smth like that

83. How fast can you run?fast, but not super fast, so like…kinda fast. I’ve probably gotten slower cause I don’t run regularly tho

84. What color is your hair?brown and really nice in the sunlight, I love it

85. What color are your eyes?brown again. sometimes I’ll just remember “oh yeah I have brown eyes!” and I actually really like them too, I think they’re a nice brown

86. What are you allergic to?I honestly haven’t run into anything yet

87. Do you keep a journal?I keep like an angry journal? but not just ordinary anger, it’s when I’m REALLY in a shittastic mood

88. What do your parents do?my mom’s a transcriptionist/editor/proofreader and my dad own a secondhand store

89. Do you like your age?I mean,,

I don’t hate it, but it makes me really uneasy when people are like “oh you’re 20 you definitely do 20-year-old things and you are an Adult” and I’m just like “no not really actually”

90. What makes you angry?some stuff, but I don’t like getting angry so a lot of the time I’m able to reason with myself

91. Do you like your own name?well enough

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?I will birth no babies ever and I have no desire to raise any real children, but if my OCs count as my babies then shit tons and counting

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?again, OCs? all of them. actual real, breathing, sticky children? none

94. What are you strengths?I know my weaknesses ?

95. What are your weaknesses?sighs

96. How did you get your name?I think like…it was my grandmother’s middle name? 

97. Were your ancestors royalty?not that I know of

98. Do you have any scars?déjà vu

99. Color of your bedspread?which one LMAO uh the top one is blue, the one underneath that is pink, then a blue/white/gray patterned, a darker pink knit, white, then a white knit

100. Color of your room?orange ! a really nice light orange that can look yellow in some light >u

[brookesayshai]

Tag for @mineking2435

tcorny1: Do you sleep on a blanket over your mattress with another blanket on top, or with just one blanket on top of you? Lots a blankets 2: Personally, what do you believe happens when a person dies? ghosts r cool 3: If faced with the opportunity, would you ever kill a criminal whom you don’t know if it meant you could get anything you want in return? (Keep in mind you do not/can not know what said criminal has done to become a criminal until after you’ve made your decision) nope 4: The funniest nickname you can come up with for __Batman Jesus The Rapist_________ ? (throwback) 5: What type of art could you always appreciate but never see yourself actually doing?  realism 6: You’ve been given the option to choose how the human race reproduces. How would we reproduce, which sex would bare children, and how would we bare them? (Eggs, litters, etc) same as it is bc fuck change 7: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever experienced, may it be just reading about it or experiencing it in the flesh? uh, discovering this site 8: You can choose any world to go to from any book, movie, video, fanficion, etc, and the option to become the main character. Where would you go, and would you be involved in the main story, or just watching on the sidelines? fallout and both bc i can 9: What is one thing in this world you would get rid of if you knew it’d be erased from the entire history of the human race? the emoji movie 10: Describe ____life_______ in your own words. 69 69 11: You’re in hell! One song is playing on repeat for eternity. What song it it? Oh Ms Beleiver

12: You get to create a entirely new species. Describe the name of them and what they look like. purple firaffe w/ monkey head

13: You’re now allergic to EVERY animal except for one. Which animal is it? Rat 14: What’s on your mind right now? him 15: Try and describe your closest friend in the silliest way possible. corny 16: You can stop doing one of the following– Eating, Using the restroom, Sleeping– without any consequences. What do you choose? using rr 17: You have to live on a world famous landmark for the rest of your life. Which landmark would you live on/in? idk 18: You can babysit 6 extremely poilte and kind kids for not very much money or one extremely rude and disrespectful child for a high amount of money for a week. Which do you choose? either or 19: You have to use one word in every sentence for the rest of your life. What word is it? fuck 20: Go on a vacation forever or never leave your home town? im fine w/ hometown 21: What would your character be described as in an upcoming anime? cynical beeotch 22: You get to redesign the whitehouse. Describe how your fabulous revisions would make it look? a maze garden 23: You’re now inhabiting the body of the last person you talked to. Who is it, how how weirder out are you? @mineking2435 24: Add a letter to the alphabet! What’s its name and what does it look like? bers (idfk) 25: Weirdest fetish you’ve ever found out about and how? Foot i think 26: Every mosquito drops dead and they are never found again or every wasp? waspsss 27: Fear you had when you were little that you grew out of? dark 28: The ability to make everyone listen to you when you want to say something or have no one notice you when you don’t want them to? 2 29: What’s your favorite meme? the dank ones 30: Best surprise you’ve ever gotten? him :))) 31: Do you no longer listen to a song because it reminds you of someone you don’t talk to anymore? kinda, yeah 32: Write a full paragraph about yourself without being negative (or just a sentence if you don’t want to write a full paragraph!) I would say something and than, but it doesnt matter or its not important or not that i care 33: Describe the most attractive person you’ve ever seen without mentioning their name. Himmmmm mmmm damn 34: Upload your all time favorite picture! cant pic, we’re just too cute together 35: You wake up tomorrow and end up having NO responsibilities to do, including work, school, cleaning, projects– Nothing!– As well as full access to an endless supply of money for an entire week. How do you spend it? being lazy as usaual 36: Write a plot for a TV show that you would most definitely watch. Drama, romance, action, comedy XD 37: If you had to choose between only wearing shorts and long sleeves or pants and a tank top for all of winter, what would you choose? (No coats allowed or other garments under or over the shorts or pants!) What about my bra? 38: One thing you’d love to wake up to? him every morning  39: You can choose to learn one talent to master or choose many talents that you’re somewhat okay at. Which do you choose? many ok talents 40: Favorite quote/saying? “Goodnight, sleeptight, don’t let the bedbugs crawl into your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself” - Tyler Joeseph 41: You say one sentence to go down in history and be remembered years after you pass, even centuries into the future. What’s the sentence? Im a god damn mother fucking fishstick, you got dat or naw 42: Favorite video you’ve ever watched? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAvxLESWJG8 (bc of the one phrase) 43: Type/act like you did when you were 13 and describe your plans for tonight. I will, uh cry myself to sleep (emo phase so yeah) 44: You’re a baby with a very deep voice. What would you say to startle everyone in the room with your very deep baby voice? CHEESY FRIES MOTHER FUCKER 45: Funniest joke you’ve ever heard? my life 46: Ever pulled a prank, and if you did– What was it? I told my sister when she got her first period, if she farts blood will go everywhere and her friends joined in on it 47: You can be a human with fur or a dog with hair. Which do you choose? human with fur  48: In your own opinion, the weirdest advertisement you’ve seen? old spice i guess bc its too wak 49: Did you answer honestly to these questions? yes 50: Your hair can be any color you want, but its permanently there. For an example, you can dye your hair another color after, but the color you originally choose will always grow back in eventually. What color do you choose?

tyedye idfk

Heres some more @mineking2435

When you are old, what do you think children will ask you to tell stories about?

If you could switch two movie characters, what switch would lead to the most inappropriate movies?

What animal would be cutest if scaled down to the size of a cat?

What inanimate object would be the most annoying if it played loud upbeat music while being used?

When did something start out badly for you but in the end, it was great?

What weird food combinations do you really enjoy?

How would your country change if everyone, regardless of age, could vote?