#who have excellent things to say and slightly dubious grammar

[hello-delicious-tea]

For the love of all things holy please, please, if you are applying to an institute of higher education, DO NOT USE CHATGPT. I promise you that if I, a person who makes college application essays suck less in exchange for ready money, can tell within two sentences, an admissions officer reading thousands of the things can tell at first glance. We don’t even need the fucking AI detector. They’re just bad. They’re so bad. They’re appallingly bad. And they’re INSIDIOUSLY bad. It is so much harder for me to remove their insidious bland meaningless marketingese than it is for you to say everything you want to say, hammer it into a roughly organized form, and pay me six cents a word to help you tell your story in an organized, coherent, and effective way. I promise you, it is easier. And your essay will actually get through the automatic AI detectors and to a real human being.

And if you don’t wait until THE DAY OF THE DEADLINE, I can even teach you how to do the thing I do yourself, so you are never tempted to turn to that dealer of less-than-mediocrity again.

I’m very good at this. Trust me, you do not want to use ChatGPT at any point in this process, not for ideas or spell check or language tweaks. It will only make things worse.