#who constantly tells you you're so smart and handsome and have a beautiful fucking SOUL

[gilliebee]

thinking about this god damn quote every time jack gives brick heart eyes which is always

[finniestoncrane]

PLEASE tell about your idealized version of capullo riddler! I’m starving to hear more about him

ok i moved this up the queue because i am OBSESSED with him like i love him and i love you BUT ANYWAY i reserve the right to be as unhinged about this man as i want to be. every other riddler has his pros, but this asshole has only cons and that's why he's top of my list so like please don't read this if you're gonna psychoanalyse me, i am at peace with my issues (can't wait to show this to my therapist)

Headcanons about Capullo!Riddler (w/female partner) request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff, heavy on the kinks, rough play, impact, slapping, choking, humiliation, degradation all that nasty shit i am projecting it onto this sideburned loser who i love with all of my soul nobody come at me for how i want to be treated at him

domestic life

you're not so much a partner as you are a live in servant

your name is babe now

"babe will you get me a beer"

"babe will you pass me the remote"

"babe can you order us pizza?"

"babe can you come sit in my lap"

unintentional misogyny is rife

better invest in thick pants or something because anytime you walk by him your ass is getting smacked

needs you to tell him how talented and smart and handsome and charming he is at least 20 times each day

his needs have to come first because "i'm the riddler and i'm super important you wouldn't understand"

has to be talked down from asking every hot person you see if they wanna have a threesome with you guys

pisses with the door open constantly

follows you around like a lost puppy because he needs attention/closeness/not to be alone with his thoughts

he won't cook or clean or do any kind of domestic chore because that's your job because what else are you bringing to the table

he will make fun of you for participating in hobbies he thinks are dumb

but god help you if you imply at any point that his obsession with batman is unhealthy and really dorky and bordering on a crush

he will go in a huff

he goes in huffs a lot

man is permanently pouting and upset

definition of 'can dish it out but can't take it'

he has two modes for asking you to pay attention to him

demanding and rude

whiny and pathetic

sometimes he switches between both

if he thinks he's ever crossed a line and really pissed you off (which is rare) he will try to make it up to you

but he's shitty at it

he'll bump his head against you like a cat repeating "i'm sorry" until you're so annoyed that you forgive him to get him to shut up

he thinks burps are super funny because mentally he's fuckin 12

sex life

he's super horny, like all the time, concerningly so

like if you don't have the energy to fuck, you could at least sit in his lap and participate in some cock-warming, god

he'll eat pussy once a month, but he expects his dick to be sucked twice daily

he's super into dishing out some humiliation and degrading his partner

gives him an ego boost

because he's super self-conscious

mostly about his dick size

loves being a bit physically violent during sex

hair pulling, face slapping, grabbing and biting

spanking for sure

likes being called daddy/master/sir

anything that denotes him as an authority figure

surprisingly encouraging though

will dole out some praise if he thinks you deserve it

never says you're beautiful or pretty or gorgeous

but tells you you're hot all the time

super into free use, since you're there y'know

that's really all you're good for to him

will fuck you until he cums and not even check to see if you finished

rolls over and falls asleep straight away

he also snores

insists on getting nudes sent from you if he's away from you for an hour

boasts about how good he is at fucking in front of everyone and anyone

and you have to agree

which you do

and it's the only time he ever says thank you

but only in private