#who cares if sam forgives them? they aren’t here and they weren’t caught and there was no real way to punish them… the forgiveness is

[princessamericachavez]

I feel like people complaining about Ted Lasso pushing a narrative that insists on forgiving too much (like the racism Sam experienced) are missing the point a little bit.

The show didn’t tell us that Sam should have ignored the situation. As a matter of fact, just like with the airline plot line, it was shown that standing up and using his privileged position to talk about these issues was the right choice for Sam. But it’s not the easy choice. It’s not the safe one either. And there ARE consequences.

“If you really want to piss them off, forgive them” Sam’s dad says (more or less) and it doesn’t mean that they had a right to do that or that Sam doesn’t get to hurt or be upset by it (or that they shouldn’t be punished for it if possible). The thing is that the vandalism was aimed at upsetting Sam, at making him angry at the world, at making him feel unsafe and unloved and unwelcome. By letting it go, “fighting forward”, Sam wins.

Anyway, Ted Lasso has always been a show proponent that forgiveness is a possibility and a necessity for us to move forward without carrying the resentment and distrust with us forever. It’s also always been transparent about the fact that forgiving is the hardest choice, the one complicated both for us and the person who is receiving that forgiveness even when they might not be, or consider themselves, worthy of it.

Did the people who trashed Ola’s deserve forgiveness? No. Was Sam entitled to his anger and his pain and the desire to fight back? Hell yes. And the show doesn’t tell him not to feel any of those things. It just says… forgive them anyway. Be angry, and forgive.

[slutforbuck]

Where've You Been? -- Bucky Barnes x Reader

I started this the day after TFAWS episode 2 came out, and I just finished it tonight. It's not the best, but I hated leaving it not done.

Tears crowded your eyes as you watched the man on TV. John Walker. The “new” Cap is what they called him. Turning off the TV, you glanced down at your phone to see a message from Sam. “I didn’t know that they would do this.” You smiled softly, knowing that Sam was just doing what he thought was right. No-one could replace Steve, especially not this man. You went back through your messages, seeing a text you had sent Bucky earlier that morning. Should I? No..I’m sure he’s seen it..I don’t need to bother him again. You sighed, wishing he would at least call you so you could check on him once in a while. He had been dodging your calls and messages since Steve went back to be with Peggy. From what Sam had told you, he hadn’t been able to get a hold of him either. Making your way to the bedroom, you began getting dressed. As you tossed your phone to the bed, the screen lit up, ringing with an unknown number. You grabbed it, answering with a questioning “Hello?” “Is this Y/n Y/l/n?” “Yes? Who is this?” “Hi Y/n, this is John Walker! I heard you used to work closely with Steve Rogers.” You stiffened, wondering what this man could possibly want with you. “Yes, Steve and I were close. How exactly can I help you?” “Well as I’m sure you know, I’m taking over the mantle as Captain America. I could use someone like you to help me out.” He sounds about as arrogant as he looks. “Mr. Walker, I really don’t think that would be the best idea.” You heard a huff on the other end of the phone and rolled your eyes in response. “Ma’am, we know that after Steve left, you stopped working. You belong in the field, you are amazing at what you do.” You sighed and rubbed your eyes in frustration. “I’ll try one mission. ONE. Send me details later.” You dropped your phone on the bed as you hung up and whispered to yourself, “Steve please forgive me. I hope Sam and Buck will understand.”

“Where are we going Walker?” You leaned back, arms folded and shot a death glare at the man. “We’re going to help some of your old friends.” Smirking he moved closer to you, “You ready?” You looked down as the helicopter began lowering and saw Sam fighting on the top of a truck. You immediately jumped into action, swinging down and landing on the back of the truck next to Sam. You tackled the man as you dropped, kicking him down the length of the truck. “What the—“ Sam flew upwards, then turned towards you. “Y/n? What are you doing here?” You laughed as you fought against the man in front of you, “Saving your ass apparently!” You jerked back as you saw a shield fly past you, barley missing the side of your head. Turning, you saw John and Lemar finally join you. They walked to Sam, “John Walker, Captain America.” “Lemar Hoskins.” “Looks like you guys could use some help.” Sam looked at you, both of you rolling your eyes. Suddenly, Sam flew off the truck, and John was knocked off. You sighed, and jumped down after him, watching as the truck full of soldiers continued down the road.

You propped your legs up on the seat of the jeep, hoping John would back off if he wasn't as close to you. He screwed up the mission, and you sure as hell weren’t going on another with him. “Hey you did great! We will definitely get them next time, we just need to regroup.” Rolling your eyes, you looked out the back of the jeep to the road. “There is no next time with me Walker.” “Now come on don't be like that.” John turned his head to look in front of the jeep and saw Sam and Bucky walking. He leaned forward and began honking the horn, trying to get their attention. The jeep pulls up next to them, and John opens the door, “So that didn’t go as planned, huh?” You looked out to see Sam ignoring you and made eye contact with Bucky. His eyes widened with surprise, then darkened with anger. Not being able to take a hint, John continued, “Look, at least we know what we’re up against now, huh? And we’re pretty sure it’s one of the Big Three so..” Sam glanced up at John, then back forward, “Aliens, Androids, or wizards?” “Pretty sure.” You tuned the men out, looking up at the sky and wishing John would just shut the hell up. Feeling the car jerk to a stop, you looked at the men, all still arguing. “You ever jump on top of a grenade?” Don’t say it. Walker I swear if you tell them about that dumbass thing with your helmet and compare that to everything that Steve did… “Yeah. Actually, I have. Four times. It’s a thing I do with my helmet. It’s a reinforced helmet. It’s a long sto—“ “John shut up.” You interrupted him, tired of hearing his mouth. “Guys it’s 20 miles to the airport. Please get in.” You looked to Sam with pleading eyes. Bucky rolled his eyes and climbed in after Sam. With the extra people in the jeep now, you had to move your legs to make room. There goes your plan to keep John as far away as possible. Tapping your foot on the side of Bucky’s, you tried to get him to look at you. Bucky looked up and stared at you. Eyes not blinking, body not moving. You tried scoot forward to try to talk to him, you had missed him so much and hated that the two of you hadn’t been talking. As you scooted forward, John grabbed your arm and pulled you back against him. You stiffened, trying to pull away. “Let go of me Walker,” you speaking through closed teeth and a clenched jaw. “This would be easier if I had Cap’s wingmen with me. I’ve already got his best girl.” As he leaned in to press a kiss to the top of your head, Bucky stood, towering over the two of you. “Let. Her. Go.” His eyes were clouded with anger, and he reached down and quickly, but gently, pulled you to him. “You can go with us. You don’t have to stay with him.” As you went to answer him, John stood and put his hand on the small of your back, “Bucky I can take care of her, she’s with us.” “Stop the car!” The jeep jerked to a halt and you flew forward into Bucky’s arms. “Walker I am sick and tired of you walking around pretending that just because you carry a stolen shield that you’re him. You will NEVER be Steve. Steve was a good man. You’re just a soldier.” You swung yourself over the side of the jeep and began walking down the dirt road, Sam close behind. Bucky lingered for just a moment, looking at John, “If I ever see you touch her again without her permission, you won’t have an arm to hold that shield with.”

“What the hell were you doing with him y/n?” You looked away from Bucky, ashamed that you had even considered working with Walker. “First of all you don't need to be jumping out of helicopters. Second of all, you’re really supporting this guy? He’s a total ass!!” Something finally snapped, and you turned to glare at him, “Bucky I have done nothing since Steve left. All I had were the three of you. Sam had his own shit going on, and you!” You stopped and turned to him, poking him in the chest with a finger, “You have ignored my calls, my messages. You have avoided me since he left! I agreed to ONE mission. Just to see if I could still do it, without the three of you. I was given an opportunity, and yes I was pissed about the circumstance, yes I was uncomfortable. But I took the opportunity.” Turning back you walked away. “Y/n—“ You ignored the voice behind you as you glared at the road ahead of you. Sam looked to Bucky, “Not the best way to get her back White Wolf. You better go catch her.” Jogging, Bucky caught up to you. “Y/n I’m sorry. I was out of line.” You paused and looked to the tall man now standing in front of you. “Yea Buck you were.” Pushing past him, you continued down the road. “Y/n please wait. Talk to me.” “What else do you want me to say James? You weren’t there to stop me, and I needed to do something. I can’t live my life crying over Steve being gone, I have to get back to work at some point.” Tightening his jaw, he looked at you with a fire in his eyes. “I know he’s gone, and I know that you can’t sit around doing nothing. I know that. But with him? Why not with me and Sam?” “Are you kidding me Bucky??? I have called you, I have sent you messages! Multiple times a day and you IGNORE me! So working with you wasn’t an option. Sam was taking time with his family, he wasn’t even working. Don’t pull that crap with me Barnes. After being around Walker, I am NOT in the mood for your bullshit.” You turned away from him again, trying to put some distance between the two of you. “Well that went over great Buck. Good job.” “Shut up Sam.” On the plane, Bucky tried to smooth things over again. “Come on Y/n, talk to me.” You rolled your eyes and turned to Sam. “So who was that on the truck?” “Flag Smashers. They’re stealing medicine and weapons and distributing them to people that have been displaced from the blip. We think they’ve taken a dose of the serum.” “Where would they have even gotten any?? Wasn’t the bit that HYDRA had the last of it?” “That we aren't sure about.”

You had just walked into your apartment when your phone began ringing. Glancing down, you saw Sam’s name across the screen. What the hell? “Sam?” “Hey Y/n. You need to get down to the police station. They arrested Bucky.” “They WHAT??! I’m on my way!” After quickly locking your door, you ran down to your car.

The doors to the station flung open as you stormed in, looking for Sam. He stood as he saw you and pulled you to a seat to explain what happened. “Sam why did they even stop? You were just talking!” Sam looked at his feet and then to you. “Y/n. You know why they stopped. Once they realized who Bucky was, they said they had a warrant out because he had missed therapy.” Before you could speak a woman’s voice came from behind you, “Sam? Y/n?” The two of you turned to face the woman as she stuck out her hand in an introduction. “I’m Dr. Raynor, Bucky’s therapist. I’ve heard a lot about the two of you.” You shook her hand as Sam nodded shortly, “Thank you for bailing him out Dr. Raynor.” “Me? I thought you did!” The three of you looked at each other confused, until you heard cameras snapping. “Oh please no..” You groaned, already becoming agitated and defensive. “You’re welcome sweetheart.” You looked up at John Walker, resisting the urge to spit on him or beat him. Sam stepped closer to you in an attempt to shield you from him. “Why did you bail him Walker?” “He’s an asset. We need him out in the field more than he needs to be in here or in therapy.” Sam tightened his grip on your arm as your eyes flashed with anger and you lunged towards him. “You motherfuc—“ A cold hand came down on your shoulder before you could finish your sentence and you looked up to see Bucky. “He’s not worth being arrested doll.” You looked up at Bucky, wanting to protest, but decided against it. “You need to leave before I decide that he’s wrong.” John laughed as he and Lamar began walking outside, “I’ll see you three outside. We need to talk.”

Dr. Raynor pulled Sam and Bucky towards an interrogation room, and motioned for you to follow, “We’re having a session. Now.” The chairs scraped across the hard floor as they were pulled closer together. “Who’s going first?” Bucky rolled his eyes as he looked at the ceiling, and Sam huffed, crossing his arms. “This is a waste of time Doc.” “I’ll go Dr. Raynor.” Barely coming out as a whisper, but your voice still bounced off the walls. Your eyes moved from the floor to Bucky, “What have I done to you Buck? We were so close..But you stopped talking to me. You completely dropped me, and then expected me to just come back to you with open arms. I don’t know what I did to make you so mad.” He looked to you and then Sam and scoffed. “Yea I left. What was I supposed to do? Steve left. Why wouldn’t you leave too?” Your jaw dropped and you laughed before you could stop yourself. “Are you kidding me Bucky? You really shut me out because you thought I’d leave you the same way Steve did?? You KNEW how much I loved you and how much I needed you. I would have done ANYTHING for you James.” Bucky looked at his boots, ashamed to look at you. “You weren’t the only one hurting Bucky. And just to remind you in case you forgot, we were together before you up and left. Then I find out from Sam that you’re DATING. So not only did you leave Sam and I as friends and ghost us both, you left me as a partner.” At this point your voice was becoming strained and soft and tears began to stream down your cheeks. Sam reached for your hand and gave it a squeeze, knowing how badly you had been hurting. Bucky looked at you, tears brimming, but not spilling. His mouth opened, then closed multiple times, not knowing what to say. He turned to Sam, unable to process his emotions for you at the moment. “Why did you give up the shield Sam?” “Why are you concerned about things that have nothing to do with you?” “Steve trusted you. He gave you that shield because he believed in you.” Anger began to flood his already strained voice as he leaned forward towards Sam, but gripping the armrest of the chair, trying to hold himself back. “And what if he was wrong about you? If he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about ME!” A single tear rolled down his face as he sat back in his chair, face going dark. Sam rolled his eyes and stood, “I’ll see the two of you outside.” When Bucky went to stand Dr. Raynor stopped him. “You may have had some sort of closure with Sam, but this hasn’t even been addressed. You have caused Miss. Y/l/n a lot of stress. You are going to talk to her before you leave this room.” Bucky looked over at you. You were holding your hands in your lap, staring at your feet, looking absolutely defeated. His heart broke a little seeing you so upset; he hadn’t seen you this upset in a very long time. “Y/n..I…” He tried to speak, but didn’t know what to say. Knowing that there was nothing he could say to make things better, he walked to you and kneeled in front of you. “Please Y/n, just look at me.” Hearing his soft voice, you looked up, still trying to avoid his piercing eyes. “Please.” You finally made eye contact, and almost broke again. “Doll, I know there’s nothing I can say to make what I did better. I know I fucked up. But..Sweetheart I did what I thought would be better for you. I didn’t want you to have to deal with me, to deal with this life.” Your eyes flashed as you stood. “That was a decision that you should have let me make James. I want you. I want this life. That was my decision to make, and you took it from me!” “I know..I know..” His voice was soft, sad. Tears streamed down both of your faces, and you dropped to your knees in front of him. “Stop taking care of me Buck. Let me take care of you for once. You’ve been through so much. Please.” Strong arms grasped your waist, holding you so tight that you thought they would squeeze the life right out of you. Turning to Dr. Raynor, you silently thanked her for the talk that you and Bucky so desperately had needed, then pulled him to his feet.

“Alright Sam, we’re ready, let’s go.” Red and blue lights flashed as you exited the police station. “So, how are we going to tackle this problem?” John Walker’s smug voice carried down the sidewalk to you. “Please tell me I don’t have to work with this dick again.” Bucky mumbled under his breath, “Not if I can help it.” With an undeserved confident strut, Walker made his way to you. “If we divide ourselves, we don't stand a chance. It would be an honor to work with you two. And an absolute pleasure to watch this pretty thing in action again.” A sick feeling bubbled in the pit of your stomach, and you involuntarily gagged, making Walker’s jaw drop. “Do you even know where they are Walker?” “Well. I. Well not right now, but it won’t take long for us to find them.” Walker’s voice raised and became harsher the more flustered he became. A smirk was plastered across your face, enjoying watching the man squirm when he was asked anything. Bucky placed his warm hand on the small of your back, beginning to guide you away as Sam spoke. “We don’t have to go through all of the hoops that you do Walker. We’re free agents, and besides, we actually know what the hell we’re doing.” As the words left Sam’s mouth, you stopped in your tracks and turned to see how John would react, knowing that it would be a good show. You watched as his eyes lit up with anger. “If you're not going to work with us Wilson, then a little piece of advice. Stay the hell out of my way.”

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

By Your Doorstep (Part 8)

Summary: The reader and Sam try to find a way to ensure John leaves them alone while Dean has a sweet moment with Tessa...

Pairing: Doctor/Neighbor!Dean x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 3,700ish

Warnings: language, bad parenting, past child abuse, manipulation, angst, fluff

A/N: Parts of this series are told from two different POV’s. Dean’s POV are written from limited third person. Reader’s POV are second person (like a typical reader insert). Enjoy!…

_________

Reader’s POV

“Hey, Mr. Valens,” you said when he came into the reception area about twenty minutes after you’d left the house with Sam.

“Y/N! Everything alright? You’re not in trouble are you?” he asked, giving Sam a look. “You look familiar.”

“I work on opposing counsel for the Druman case,” he said.

“You’re that son of a bitch that got a delay. That was good work,” he said. “A friend of Y/N’s is always welcome although I have to ask what exactly is going on that you’re here after seven?”

“Mr. Valens this is Sam Winchester. His brother Dean is my boyfriend. They knew my dad years back. He might have kept a file on them and I was wondering if you might have it since I know you took over my dad’s stuff?”

“Well I can’t allow you to go looking through the file cabinets and certainly not a lawyer from a rival firm,” he said. You frowned and he smiled. “Sam, you wouldn’t mind waiting out here. I’m sure you understand considering our prep is going on right now.”

“Of course. I’ll hang here,” he said. You walked through a set of doors into some offices, walking down the familiar hall. 

“You guys renovated,” you said.

“A few months back. We wanted a little more modern touch. Your dad’s idea actually. Finally got it going,” he said. 

“He always had a thousand things going at once it seems,” you said. You walked into his office, Mr. Valens going to a file cabinet in the corner. He dug around in the bottom drawer and pulled out a folder.

“Winchester boys. I’m guessing this is them,” he said. He took a seat at his desk and opened it up, lifting his head after a minute. “Y/N. Why do you want this file?”

“Mr. Valens. Let me have it,” you said. “Please.”

“There’s a reason your father never escalated this to law enforcement,” he said, shutting the file. “What are you involved in?”

“Mr. Valens. You were my dad’s partner and best friend and Tessa and I haven’t heard from you since two weeks after the funeral. You helped me get access to our trust but you left. We needed help. I needed help. You’re a lawyer. You could have made life so much easier. But you wouldn’t pick up the phone. The least you can do is give me that file.”

“You weren’t a child when they died, Y/N.”

“It doesn’t mean I wasn’t devastated. It doesn’t mean I was ready to change my whole life to become a mom to my sister, my very hurt baby sister. I just needed a little bit of help with paperwork and you couldn’t even do that for your best friend’s kids. I want that file, Mr. Valens.”

“You should stay away from those boys,” he said, handing it over to you.

“Why?”

“Their father is an ex-cop. Why do you think your father never escalated it? He needed hard evidence to make that kind of accusation,” he said. 

“Can you help them?”

“Y/N, why are you digging around in the past.”

“He came to our house and hurt Dean tonight.” He shut his eyes and ran his hand over his face. “I’m tired of people I care about getting hurt. Is there anything we can do to get them to leave us alone?”

“I’m sorry but unless he does something and you report it, I can’t do anything without hard evidence.”

“I have a recording of him beating up Dean.”

“He could very easily walk on that charge. My suggestion would be to get you and Tessa out of that house and away from those two for good.”

“You’re a dick,” you said as you rolled your eyes. You started to leave and went past a conference room, wide eyed when you saw John Winchester walking out with another lawyer. “What are you doing here?”

“None of your business,” he said. Mr. Valens cleared his throat and pulled you back into his office, shutting the door behind him.

“He’s right next door and you don’t care to mention that?”

“He’s a client for another lawyer.”

“No, I was stupid to come here was all. You don’t care about anyone or anything except money. You’ll work with a guy like that and let him keep hurting his kids as long as you get paid. I’m glad my father didn’t have to see you for who you really are.”

“Do not put words in my mouth,” he said, staring you down. “I said he is a client. Plenty of people need lawyers, including bad ones. I did not say I knew about his past with his sons. I do not condone that and that is exactly the kind of person I enjoy putting in prison. As a lawyer, I’m telling you that you either need very, very hard evidence of something he can’t get out of or you need to not antagonize him and hope he stays away. As someone who has watched you grow up, get you and your sister away from those Winchester boys. You do not know what he will do and that is dangerous.”

“Dean’s in danger. Sam’s in danger. Tessa and I aren’t leaving them.”

“You need to think of your sister, not your boyfriend.”

“She loves them like they’re her big brothers. She is happy, the happiest I’ve seen her since the accident. We’re not walking away from our family. We’ll figure this out ourselves.”

You went to leave when he caught your arm.

“I’ll do some digging. He’s no longer a cop but if he did something dirty, it might be enough.”

“Thank you.”

“Be careful, Y/N.”

You left and walked down the hall, John waiting by the doors out to the lobby. 

“You Sammy’s girlfriend?” he asked.

“Dean’s,” you said.

“Your boyfriend going to keep up our arrangement?”

“Why don’t you just leave them alone,” you said.

“I do.”

“Tell that to Dean’s face.”

“He understands that the arrangement-”

“You got nothing on him and we all know it. We will let the past stay in the past as long as you never come near them again. I’m friends with the senior partner here so if you want to try something, I have a very good lawyer waiting in the wings.”

“To tell you the truth,” he said, leaning down to your ear. “It was never about the money. Sure it was nice but I mean he’s so pathetic he never even realized there was no proof. That’s what I get for letting him spend all that time at his uncle’s place. You do realize you’re dating a dumbass don’t you?”

“If it’s not about the money then why did you go to our house?”

“You saw the look on his face,” he smirked. “Fancy ass doctor is nothing more than a little bitch that-”

“Fuck you,” you said, slapping him in the face. You went to leave when you felt a shove from behind. You turned and glared, catching Mr. Valens coming down the hall.

“What the fuck is going on here?” said Mr. Valens. 

“She tripped,” said John.

“Oh well now you’re officially on the top of my shit list,” he said, walking over and getting in John’s face.

“Exciting,” said John. “I bet that’ll work out well.”

“Y/N, leave,” he said. You ducked out the door, Sam sprawled out on the couch.

“How’d it-”

“Let’s go. Now,” you said, both of you turning when you heard the doors open.

“Sammy,” said John, Sam swallowing as he stood up. John glanced over at you and smirked. “You know Dean’s been paying me for years to-”

“Go fuck yourself. With a cactus,” said Sam. John smiled and cocked his head.

“You Sam, you always had that fight in you Dean didn’t. I didn’t have to toughen you up. It was just there already. I’m just sorry to have to be the one to tell you that Dean...he doesn’t really love you. He only took you because he couldn’t stand the thought of being alone. I mean he abandoned you. You remember when you called us to help you out cause Dean was too busy partying at school? You remember who took care of you?”

“Sam. He’s just trying to fuck with you.”

“Dean’s human. He’s allowed to have fun and I called you as a last resort. I would not do it again,” said Sam.

“Funny. I don’t recall ever once laying a hand on you. I mean did you ever see me ever put a hand on Dean?”

“You were such a dick. Just because I didn’t see it doesn’t-”

“You know he got bullied right? Blamed me for that. Blamed us for all of his little problems. Then he took you. I can’t forgive him for that. But you had no choice and who knows what lies he’s been filling your head with for years.”

“Sam.”

“And this one. Dean her knight in shining armor? She’s just using him and you know it. For all you know she did that to him. Go back to your old city Sammy. Get out from under his thumb. It’s what’d I’d do.”

He left the building and you put your hands on your hips, Sam giving you a glance.

“Do not look at me like that,” you said. “I watched him beat up your brother tonight.”

“You did almost hit that yoga woman.”

“Because she hurt Dean,” you said quietly. “Your dad literally just shoved me in there. He knows he’s got nothing left except getting you to hurt Dean too. He’s so controlling Sam. That’s all he wants to do is control the two of you and making you fight means he wins.”

“Dean gives you everything,” said Sam.

“I love him.” He seemed to stop whatever he was about to say and you looked down. “And I love you too and I didn’t want to love anyone ever again so that’s a really big deal for me. He makes me happy Sam. I’d never hurt him. He’s my best friend. He’s your best friend too and he has gone to hell and back for you since he was a child. Please don’t listen to John. Believe your brother.”

“Dean used to say to me that he got wailed on but I got the manipulation worse. I think he had that pretty spot on,” said Sam, closing his eyes. “You love Dean?”

“I haven’t exactly told him yet,” you said with a shrug.

“Pretty sure the dork knows,” said Sam. “Just like you do.”

“I hope so. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Let’s head home.”

“Do you believe him?” you asked.

“You know every morning, every morning, you make Dean a cup of coffee and you either put it in his thermos or a cup for him. Every morning you do that.”

“So?”

“You wash out his thermos every night because you know it’s his favorite. On the weekend you put it in his blue mug and have it ready for him along with a cheese danish that you picked up the morning before on the way to work. That’s just one thing. You care about him and he lets you take care of him and Dean doesn’t do that. I’ll always pick my real family over my parents any day. I’m never gonna turn my back on my brother.”

“Thank you,” you said.

“Did you make any headway, on anything?”

“The partner is gonna look into him but hopefully he just stays away from now on knowing he’s got nothing left to hold over you guys.”

“I hope so too.”

Dean’s POV

“Tessa, I’m fine,” said Dean, wincing as she put a fresh cold ice pack on his ribs.

“I guess it’s true. Doctors are the worst patients,” she said. She hopped up when the doorbell rang and Dean sat up. “It’s just the delivery guy.”

“Tessa I can-” said Dean before he ran off. Dean sighed, Tessa coming back a few minutes later with some styrofoam containers. “You need to be more careful.”

“You think your dad is gonna punch me? A high school girl?” she said.

“I don’t like testing that theory.” Dean scooted back against the headboard, Tessa handing him some utensils and one of the containers. She sat on the other side with hers, watching the TV and eating up some pieces of chicken. “Tessa.”

“Hm?” she hummed.

“If you want to go over to Jack’s that’s okay,” he said. “I didn’t mean to ruin your date.”

“I think my sister put me in charge of you. Jack’s cool with it. We’ll hang out tomorrow,” she said, eating more of her food.

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m not the one that got punched in the face.”

“Still. Things can be triggering,” he said.

“I don’t get why you didn’t hit back I guess. I would have.”

“I’ve spent most of my life afraid of my dad. I still am a bit unfortunately.”

“Well you’re obviously not like him. At all,” she said. Dean smiled and started to eat, Toast licking his toes every so often. “He knows you’re hurt. He does that when he wants you to feel better.”

“Animals are very intuitive like that,” said Dean. It was quiet for a few minutes as they ate, Tessa shifting in her spot eventually.

“Dean.”

“Yeah?” he asked, mouthful of macaroni.

“Do you love my sister?” she asked. Dean swallowed and set his food down in his lap, smiling at it.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Why not tell her then?”

“I think she knows just like I think I know that she loves me. I think we’ve both been through so much already that it’s not always in the words how to say you love someone. Actions, those are as important, more important in a way. Your sister is kind and good to me in a way I never thought I’d have. I love her very, very much. I love you too.”

“She smiles again,” said Tessa. “She’s a better person around you.”

“She was always a good person. She just needed some else to lean on for a moment. That’s what a relationship is. It’s why she’s pissed as hell right now and standing up to someone I couldn’t.”

“I know you took Sam away from your parents. That was badass too,” she said.

“Maybe.”

“Are you gonna marry her?” she asked. 

“Also a maybe.”

“Do you want to?”

“Would you be okay with that?”

“Yeah. Are you asking like my permission or something?”

“Well, I’d still ask no matter what you say but I’d like to think you’d be alright with it.”

“I’m confused.”

“I’m not asking right now...but maybe hypothetically I will ask in the future.”

“Oh,” she said with a nod. “I got you. When you’re done being shy be sure to let me know.”

“You’re a little shit, you know that?” asked Dean with a laugh.

“It’s one of my best qualities,” she said.

“Sure it is,” he said as he reached over and ruffled her hair.

“Dean?” she asked when he picked up his food again. “I know she’d say yes, whenever you do decide to do it.”

“I said maybe I recall.”

“Maybe it’s not always in the words but the actions,” she said, smirking at him.

“Got me there,” he said. “Let’s not tell Y/N about this though. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Reader’s POV

Three Days Later

“Hey, Dean,” you said as he stirred awake beside you. He smiled and snuggled into your side, covers tucked up under his chin. “Sleep good?”

“Yeah. Better,” he said. You carded your fingers through his hair and he slowly opened his eyes, sleepily watching you. “I don’t think he’ll try anything. It’s been a few days and it’s been quiet.”

“Me either. Like Sam said, he’s an asshole but he’s not nuts,” you said.

“No, he’s not. But I do wonder sometimes...about my mom.”

“You don’t talk about her much,” you said. You started twirling short strands and he started to wake up more but didn’t move around. 

“I just...I don’t know if he broke her down after years and that’s why she is the way she is or if she genuinely doesn’t like us,” said Dean. “I don’t know whether to feel sorry for her or not.”

“Well...I think there’s a difference between her failing to protect you and her actively hurting you. Only you and Sam would know what really happened there.”

“Going off of that logic she’s not a good person,” said Dean. “Our grandpa wasn’t so it makes sense in a way. I don’t understand why they hated Sam and me so much though.”

“I don’t understand how anyone could ever not want you either.” He smiled and you bent down, kissing his cheek and then his lips, Dean humming when you moved back.

“Well, I got more than enough people that want me in my life now,” he said. He reached up and kissed you as you sunk back down in bed. He put his hand on the back of your neck and you grabbed his hip, Dean smirking beside you. He was starting to breath a little harder, pants filling the air, when you heard the door creak open.

“Guess who made...seriously,” said Tessa. You both turned and saw her with a tray and some food on top. 

“Your sister’s hot, Tessa,” chuckled Dean. You smacked his chest lightly as you both sat up, Tessa setting the tray down on the end of the bed.

“Might want to knock from now on before you get a view of something mentally scaring,” you said.

“I’ll remember that,” she said. She turned to go when Dean tsked her. “Guys. Have morning sex or whatever you were doing.”

“A little kissing never hurt anyone,” you said, picking up a cinnamon roll from the plate. “This looks yummy.”

“What’s the occasion, Tess?” asked Dean, grabbing one himself without a wince, his ribs looking a lot better.

“I figured I could make breakfast,” she shrugged.

“As a doctor, this isn’t the healthiest thing I’d consider for breakfast. As myself, excellent choice,” said Dean. She started to go and he chuckled. “Tessa. Thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, Toast trotting in and hopping up on the bed. “No Toast. Your food’s downstairs.”

“While I got you girls both here, I was wondering what you guys would like to do for Christmas?” he asked. “It’s only a little over a week away.”

“Oh,” she said before she looked at you. Dean raised an eyebrow and you shrugged. 

“Well don’t everyone be too over excited,” he said with a chuckle. “Come on, anything in the world, what do you guys want to do?”

“Y/N not have to work,” mumbled Tessa.

“I know for a fact she won’t. I also know for a fact that our offices will be closed aside from the doctor that always works that week anyways. All of our lab work goes out that week so a certain someone is going to have her first week off in a few years,” said Dean.

“Wait I get the whole week off?” you asked.

“Yup. We all do and it doesn’t count against vacation. It’s something that’s always been done as a treat to the employees. So. Everybody’s got the week off, even Sammy. I say us and Toast all go do something really fun.”

“Like what?” she asked.

“Well...would you guys be interested in going up north a bit to South Dakota? The past few years our friends all chip in to rent a big house and we celebrate up there. There’s snowboarding, skiing, a resort spa nearby. What do you guys think?”

“Can we afford that?” Tessa asked you.

“Yes we can and I think it sounds great,” you said. “You guys wanna go?”

“We can even get Toast a little jacket so he doesn’t get cold,” said Dean. “Jack will be there…”

“Shut up,” she said, pushing on his shoulder. “It sounds alright.”

“Just alright?” he teased. She rolled her eyes and got up, spinning back around and giving him a hug.

“Thanks,” she whispered.

“For what?” he asked quietly.

“I was starting to hate Christmas was all,” she said. He chuckled and reached over to his nightstand, taking out his wallet. He took out a few hundred and handed it over. “Uh, what’s this for?”

“Why don’t you go get yourself some winter boots and snowpants. My treat.”

“Dean.”

“You don’t have any and you need it for the trip. Besides, Y/N’s going with you after we finish making out,” he said with a wink.

“You’re so gross,” she said. She hugged him again and he plopped back in bed, stretching out wide as she left.

“Dean. I know what you got her for Christmas,” you said. “You can’t give her money all the time.”

“Boots and pants and lunch for the both of you is gonna be a few hundred. Have a girls day. I have my own shopping to do for you anyways,” he said as you lay back.

“Dean I have a good job now. I can pay for those things.”

“Y/N. I make an assload. A day of you two going and having fun like sisters do is more than worth two hundred dollars to me,” he said. ���This guy did it for me and Sam once. I’m actually just paying it back so really you can’t say no.”

“Fine,” you sighed. “But after we makeout.”

“Oh you’re not getting out of this bed without that happening,” he chuckled.

_______

A/N: Read the Final Part here!

[themissingmarvel]

Moments and Lifetimes

(Just a quick snippet. No real spoilers for TFATWS but just something nice I decided to post. Creative burst I guess. Let me know if you like it.)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

“Hey, doll,” his voice, deep and rumbling, low but without any sign of threat, dances into your ears. You feel his rough, calloused hands slide just under your shirt and onto your hips. You’re stirring your coffee, knowing he waited until the kettle was out of your hand. He’s caught you by surprise again, though your reflex has now become a smile and a sigh. A sort of melting. Without seeing him you know how he looks; a few cuts on his face, looking like a man who needs a shower and does. You know he needs to shave but you like the scruff, honestly. His hair will be mussed and you’ll tease him about hair gel.

On instinct you fall back gently against his strong form, the metallic hand on your hip no longer fasing you. Once it did. Twice it did. The third time it didn’t matter and when he realized that he stopped hesitating to touch you with it, “Missed you,” your voice dances out and the coffee smell is replaced by Bucky, his sweat and whatever locations he was forced into. No. Not forced. Asked. He is not the Winter Soldier.

Two-word conversations are enough as so much is said without words, and you like it that way. There are nights you listen to him recount stories he can’t hold in anymore but can’t tell his doctor. Can’t tell Steve. Steve is gone. But you’re here. You’re his world.

Soft lips press against your bare neck, a shiver running over your body as you take him in, the scruff you knew was present feeling like a soft tickle, causing more of a smile as he rests his chin on your shoulder, “Sam said he could wrap up the rest of the paperwork himself. Said he likes that kind of stuff,” he sighs, inhaling through his nose and taking in your scent all the same, the coffee you make, the coffee you try to make, mixing in. He associates that with you. It makes me yearn when he smells it. He tries not to. You’re always in his brain and he likes it that way.

Chuckling you close your eyes, reaching back and placing your palm against his face, “You mean you ditched him to deal with it so you could come back to the love of your life,” the words feel like home to Bucky and he absorbs them and their warmth. Humanity and compassion. Kindness. Goodness. Things you would never brag about are things he loves so deeply about you.

You think back and remember, as the two of you stay frozen and breathe in tandem, accidentally and on purpose. You remember when Bucky returned from Wakanda, how he looked as he did before, but with grief. Grief he had been searching for. He had learned to understand his pain but with you, accidentally, he had found compassion. Sam gave some good lessons but you had taken him in with ease. He had fallen for you the moment he laid eyes on you, but knew he was done for when you had laid with him in bed that night, forcing him off the floor, telling him you would stay through the nightmares. That you weren’t afraid.

Bucky had realized what he had longed for, yearned for, desired and needed, rested not with you but with what you gave him. Love. Forgiveness. Truth. Home. Compassion. Healing. A new start with a new person. He knew with you he was home, whether it was at the Avengers compound or in your cramped apartment that kept you safe.

You turn, the world around you bright and warm, his eyes, those grey eyes you find yourself falling into if you’re not careful, are wide and vulnerable. He looks exactly as you had imagined and he’s wearing his grey henley you’ve washed a dozen times. But he cooks, and he cleans, and he does a million other things. He pushes back your hair and you sigh at his warmth, “I will always come back to you,” he leans in, pressing his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your lips as you soak in the moment. So does he.

There will be time for laughter and chaos, for surprising him with trips to the theater an hour outside the city playing movies he hasn’t seen since before the war. You like seeing that smile brighten that brings back the old Bucky. The flirt Steve always said he was, the way he’d sling his arm around your shoulder. The charm that he uses like a sword, cutting away at your defenses. Making you weak. There will be time for bodies under sheets, never forgetting curves and scars, bumps, divots, perfect imperfections. Skin on skin, lips on lips, a mashup of both with heat filling the room and the world non existent. There will be time for quiet moments with books open as hours pass in silence filled with love, of quick glances over pages when he isn’t looking. When you aren’t looking. There will be time for quarrels over silly things like whether there needs to be a topsheet at all. Over what music to play. That lo-fi is in fact a genre and that Bucky needs to ‘get with it��� or that sometimes, maybe, you can be a little abrasive.

In this moment it is only you and Bucky. Lips close, but his taste always there. His smell. His entire life memorized and yours just the same. He wishes he could recite you like a poem but none would do justice. He keeps Steve’s book in his pocket, but another for you as well. Scribbles of notes and reminders of who you are. Songs and movies. Museums. Events. He has you in a small book that he keeps always next to Steve’s.

In this lifetime it is only you and Bucky.

[whimsicallyreading]

Dark Roast No Sugar

Chapter Three

Aelin would never admit it out loud, but a day off was just what she needed. She spent the morning napping, snacking, and reading. Her stomach settled, and when she took off her shoes, her feet didn't look like they belonged to a bloated cadaver.

 Spending that time with Aedion was also refreshing. He kept the conversations light. Telling her about the antics between hostesses at The Pits, a run-in between Ren and the police. A story about the drug dealer they'd roughed up and how he'd pissed his pant when he saw Aedion and the stray puppy Kyllian had snuck into The Den.

 When they got hungry, Aedion offered to make them a late lunch. Her mouth watered at the prospect of his famous grilled cheese with two kinds of cheeses and ketchup.

 Lysandra came up to join them for lunch and her nose wrinkled at the sight of them dragging the cheesy goodness through globs of red sauce. "By the dark god, you two. That's disgusting."

 Aedion grins, a dot of ketchup on his chin, "You haven't even tried it yet. This meal is a riot with the guys and saved my ass with foster siblings." He wiped his face on his sleeve and leaned back in his chair. "You don't shit on the kid who can actually make edible food."

 Aelin laughs and dusts her hands off like a lady. "Actually, you don't shit on the kid who looks like he started doping at eleven. But yeah, I'm sure it was your budget lunches that saved you."

 "Shut up, you love it when I cook," Aedion collected their plates.

 Lysandra pulls up the chair next to Aelin's at their tiny, rickety table. She set down her container of salad, looking classier with her more mature pallet. Aelin swiped a cucumber from the top and chewed into the seasoned veggie. "Your food is nostalgic. What can I say?"

 Aedion's playful demeanor seemed to deflate suddenly, a furrow creasing his brow. "I suppose why I have you two together, we should talk some business."

 "Uh oh, that doesn't sound good." Lysandra tensed up, shooting a worried look at Aelin.

 "Is it the bidding for this month? I told you I could get at least an extra hundred dollars to you by the end of the month. If you need more, I could-"

 Aedion cut off Aelin's rambling with a raised hand. "It's not the bidding. Elias pulled enough to cover our bets for the month." Relief flooded through her, and she breathed out a sigh of relief.

 The underground fighting game in Orynth was wildly exclusive. To get a spot during prime hours when tickets were hot and the betting pool was hotter, the local gangs had to participate in an auction. It was pricey, but the cuts you got from winning a fight made up for it big time.

  Unfortunately, the Bane was not a wealthy group of men. A lot of them had families or relatives they were supporting. They usually scavenged up enough money to get two or three guys into the fights, and those funds were just enough to pull them through to the next month.

 Like Aelin, those families did what they could to fund money towards the bidding. Initially, she was going to volunteer as a fighter, but she found out about the baby, and they all agreed it was too risky for her to get in the ring. As soon as she was cleared, she still intended to participate in the fights to Aedion's chagrin.

 Between the extra patrols of her street and snuffing the rumors of her existence in the city, it took a chunk of the Bane's recourses and time. Aedion assured her that the guys understood her circumstances, but she contributed as much as she could monetarily until she could contribute physically as well. "What's going on then?"

 "Rolf took a beating in the ring last night. He's going to be out of commission for a while, but we didn't lose any money. He managed to bust the guy's head at the last moment and pulled through." He paused.

 Aelin was confused, though. It wasn't uncommon for one of the guys to get roughed up a bit, so long as they didn't lose, there wasn't an issue. "That's too bad about Rolf, but I don't see the problem?" she pushed him to continue.

 "He swears the guy was tripping on Synth," Aedion breathes out, pained.

 Oh.

 "Shit," Lysandra swears and stands up. "Is he sure it was Synth?"

 "It's kinda hard to rutting mistake, Lysandra," Aedion snapped. He was right, though. The Pits had rules against cheating, but they were followed loosely. If they couldn't see a knife being pulled, the fight wouldn't be called. Some of the Bane even doped before a match just so they wouldn't get caught at a disadvantage.

 Synth had a lot of physical effects. Adrenalin coursed through the user at such high rates it was practically superhuman. It gave them crazy speed, strength, and heightened focus. On the flip side, it also caused fever, bulged veins, twitching, bloodshot eyes, and uncontrollable rage as you came down. It would be hard to mistake it for any other street drug. Aelin had taken Synth once before, and it wasn't an easily forgettable experience.

 The detail they were glossing over was that only one person was currently capable of leaking a drug like Synth on the streets.

Arobynn Hammel

 "So," Aelin finally said, breaking up the heated glares they were sharing. "He's making his presence in Orynth known."

 Quiet.

 "We can't know it for sure," Aedion looked at her with a sickening amount of pity. Aelin didn't want sympathy or comforting falsities. She wanted the truth.

 "Bullshit," Aelin declared, making Aedion wince at the sudden sharpness. "We've had sightings of Tern and Mulligan already. We knew he was sending eyes out. They must have seen us."

 Lysandra sunk back into her chair and rested her head in her hands. "I thought we made it?" her voice sounded extraordinarily young, feeble. Not at all like the vivacious woman they were used to seeing.

 "Lys," it was Aelin's turn to rest a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder.

 Her eyes were glassy and hollow when she looked up. "I really had myself believing we made it."

 Aelin's heart broke for her.

 Arobynn was a sick son of a bitch. She, Lysandra, and Sam had all come into his care at different times and served various functions within the Manor. One thing was the same though, they were all children.

 They were all coerced into doing grotesque things for Arobynn's sake. Things that they should, in all honesty, spend years in therapy to recover from. Yet, some horrors were too big for even Aelin to pretend to understand.

 Horrors that Lysandra was forced to live with every day.

 Arobynn's unofficial mistress.

 Aedion's fist slamming against the table startled them both and snapped Aelin from her thoughts. Lysandra flinched and leaned closer to Aelin. "It doesn't matter."

  He pointed his finger at them and then stabbed it into the table. "It. Does. Not. Matter. Where that piece of shit is. Rifthold? Wendelyn? He can be an hour away or watering the rutting flowers next door, but he will never have either of you ever again." The golden core in Aedion's eyes was molten.

 The excitement was too much for Lysandra, and the dam behind her eyes broke. Deep, heavy sobs ripped from her chest, and her body wilted forward like a wind-whipped flower.

 They moved at the same time, but Aedion was faster. He pulled Lysandra from her seat and gathered her against his chest, shushing her and whispering sweet nothings into her hair.

 The bells rang downstairs.

 Aedion looked up helplessly, but Aelin raised a hand and mouthed, "It's fine."

 None of them wanted Lysandra to be alone right now.

 Aelin slipped her shoes back on and hopped down the stairs quickly. Hopefully, they wouldn't be too pissed no one was behind the counter when they walked in, she mused to herself. It only took her half-a-minute to get downstairs, but it was amazing the things people got outraged over.

 Mala forgive that the coffee gets in their hand a second later than usual.

 "Do my eyes deceive me, or was Aelin Galathynius taking a break?" Dorian Havilliard's greeted her with a bright smile and upraised hands. No trace of agitation at all.

 Chaol Westfall stood behind him and meekly tilted his chin. "Hello, Aelin."

 "Hello, Chaol." She greets him with a smile and walks into Dorian's outstretched arms. Aelin wasn't a hugger, but Dorian's hugs had a magic to them.

 "Where did you go?" Dorian asked without breaking his grasp. "I never thought I'd see the day you weren't slaving away behind the counter grinding beans."

 "We weren't super busy today, and I wasn't feeling the best," Aelin admitted.

 Dorian pulled away slightly to look down at her in concern. His dark, thick-framed blue light glasses slipping down his nose.

 "It's just the baby," she assures him. "Not the flu or anything. You don't have the right parts to catch what I've got."

 Chaol snickered, but Dorian's concern only worsened. "In all seriousness, you aren't working yourself too hard?"

 Aelin rolled her eyes. If one more person asked her that-

 "I'm fine, Dor. It was just some morning sickness and a stressful customer that came through. No big deal."

 His shoulders relax, and he releases her from his arms. "I believe you. Just-" he fumbles for the words to say, "If you have troublesome people coming in here and bothering you, let me know? Chaol can come over and hang out for the day. He has a friend, Nesryn. If it gets bad, I am more than willing to hire her-"

 Aelin smiled at him and waved at him. "No need for bodyguards. People are rude. It happens. Now, what can I get for the both of you?"

 Dorian was the son of the esteemed son of Dorian Sr. The owner of Adarlan Vaults, the most extensive banking chain across Erilea. It was a total accident that they stumbled into each other when Aelin went in looking for a loan to start The Stag with.

 At first, he was a bit of a flirt with her. When Aelin made it clear that she wasn't interested in his advances, Dorian backed off right away and fell into the role of the supportive friend. He and Chaol had been the first patrons of the shop when the doors opened.

 Chaol was technically his hired protection, but he and Dorain were life long friends bound by something more powerful than money. She never saw the two of them apart. While he appeared to be a quiet sort, he had a sharp mind and fierce loyalty that Aelin admired.

 "Two iced girl scout americano's," Dorian pulled out his wallet and handed her a twenty. "Large, please."

 Aelin accepted the cash and started filling cups as the two took their standard seats. She just got the espresso machine heated when a set of hands pushed her's aside and began flipping the switches for her.

 "Aedion," she groaned as his hip bumped her to the side, and he took over her tasks. "Seriously?"

 "You are supposed to be taking the day off," he looks at her pointedly. "Go sit with your friends. I've got this."

 "Do you have this?" Aelin set a hand on her hip. "You haven't used these machines before."

 Aedion scoffed, "It cannot be that complicated. Now go. Before Lysandra comes back down and wipes the floor with both of our asses." He pulls out two large mugs and grabs out a bottle of coconut flavoring. "Baby A is shielding you for now, but that woman has the memory of a rutting elephant. Don't think you can hide behind my niece or nephew forever." He's more talking to himself by the end as he starts over pouring syrups into cups. Did he even know what he was making? Aelin winced.

 She might have to return the twenty to Dorian.

 Aelin walks away reluctantly, "Mind if I sit here for a minute, boys?"

 Chaol stands up and pulls a chair out for her, "Not at all."

 He holds out a hand to help her sit, but she waves it away. She wasn't that pregnant yet.  

 Dorian has a hardbound book sitting in front of him, the face of his expensive watch catching the light as he turns the page. "I haven't seen you by the bank this week," he says without looking up from the page.

 "We've been enjoying the peace," Chaol sits back in his own seat and flashes her a grin. "That's a joke, of course. It's been horribly boring."

 "It's been a busy week. I haven't had a chance to drop my deposit off yet." Aelin typically made an excuse to visit the bank at least once a week. Dorian would kindly excuse whatever teller was working to take a break and promptly close the register so they could sit in the break room and talk over cookies and drip coffee.

 She was planning on going yesterday, but her feathers were too ruffled after the incident.

 "I suppose I can live without that excuse since I've taken it upon myself to visit you at work." He pulls a plastic bag filled with assorted chocolates and places it on the table between them. "If you need to drop off a deposit, I can take it back with me?"

 Aelin's hand darts to the bag of sweets and pulls out a dark, salty square. "Have I mentioned you are the most attractive man I've ever met?"

 They hear a loud scoff from the kitchen.

 "You've mentioned it a few times." He glances up from his book long enough to wink at her. "What about that deposit?"

 "I don't think I will have a big enough deposit to warrant the trip this week," the excuse isn't well-formed, and she hears it when the lie falls from her lips.

 "You said you had a busy week?" Dorian frowns.

 I did, but I'm putting aside extra money to fund my cousin's gang because my former foster father has a hit out on me.

 "The tips have been bad" not a total lie. "Maybe it will pick up again over the weekend," Aelin shrugs nonchalantly.  

 Aedion walks over with two cups of coffee and a mug of tea. He lets Dorian's drink slosh over the side as he sets it down. Dorian lifts his book away from the mess and glares.

 She wasn't sure what went down between Dorian and Aedion that made them hate each other. Chaol and Aedion had no qualms. They were even drinking buddies on the weekend, but Aedion had a bone to pick with Dorian long before she'd arrived back in Orynth.

 Aelin half-heartedly scolded Aedion as she accepted her drink. Taking a deep drink from the mug, she was surprised to find that it was made exactly as she liked.

 Chaol sipped his coffee, and Aelin watched as he barely held back a grimace. Dorian reached for his own cup, but Chaol discretely pulled it away before he could drink. Aelin caught the motion, but thankfully Aedion was already back in the kitchen and hadn't noticed.

 "I will remake those for you before you leave," Aelin assured them.

 "It's alright. As much as I love coffee, I really came by to spill tea," Dorian took his glasses off and leaned back in his chair.

 "Gossip," Chaol translated. "He means gossip."

 Dorian rolls his eyes, "That's what tea means, Chaol." Leaning forward with his elbows on the table, "A company called Wendlyn Ops. bought out The Pits."

 "What?" Aelin shouts a little too loudly. Dorian shushes her, and Aedion peers out from the kitchen with worried eyes. She waves him away and whispers in a quieter tone. "What do you mean The Pits have been bought out? What for?"

 "I didn't realize you would care this much about the seediest bar in town," Dorian laughed. "It's not like you can drink."

 "You aren't drinking, right?" Chaol scowls.

 Aelin reins back her emotions. She was definitely losing her tack being off the job for several months, but the secret basement underneath The Pits was where the fights were usually held. Iona Jayne would never sell the property when it brought in so much money.

 He either owed someone a rutting ton of money, he was being blackmailed, or the most likely option.

 Iona Jayne was dead.

 Aelin flipped Chaol off, "Of course I'm not drinking. No promises on that in about five months... Just, who would want The Pits? Are they repurposing it?" She can already feel a headache forming behind her eyes.

 "That's the interesting part," Chaol murmured. "The title for The Pits was transferred to a new owner just a few days before it was sold for triple its market value."

 Dorian's grin became mischievous, "Shady deals are going on, and I'm determined to find out what."

 Shit. Shit. Shit.

 Aelin forced a matching smile on her, "Well, this sounds like the making of an adventure."

 Aedion was deeply involved with all the goings-on at The Pits. If Dorian managed to learn too much and expose them, he would go down hard. She wasn't directly implicated in anything beyond a little racketeering, but one prolonged look at her record would raise some eyebrows. Which could tie her back to Rifthold and numerous murders. A lot of murder. Thievery. Hired assassinations.

 They would be screwed, essentially.

 Damn it all to hellas, she needed to talk to Aedion. Aelin understood why Dorian was interested in this. His father was involved with so many corrupt dealings they followed him like a shadow. She knew he was socially isolated beyond herself and Chaol. No one dared to associate with the son of Dorian Sr.

 Unveiling a corrupt business dealing and aiding the community could help separate his image from his father's. Rectify some of the wrongs his family has committed. Give him a chance at making a future for himself out from Dorian Sr.'s thumb.

 Aelin just wished he knew the depth of the task he was taking. How deep, dark, and dangerous this viper's den was. Sweet, sheltered Dorian Jr. would be eaten alive. A blue-eyed pup, trapped in the jaws of an adder.

 Little did he know that Aelin was a wolf herself, and she would not stand for that breaking.

 Aelin directed the conversation to safer grounds following the bomb he dropped. They discussed the book he was reading, the litter of pups his dog was expecting, his disgusting little brother. Chaol seemed to sour at the mention of Holland.

 Soon they were provided with fresh drinks, and Aelin ushered them out under the pretense of needing a nap. Definitely not a lie. Her stomach was rolling again, and that blooming headache was now a whole damn rosebush in her brain.

 Rubbing the knot between her eyes, she made the difficult decision of closing for the day. Business was slow. Lysandra hadn't come back downstairs. Aelin wasn't feeling well, and there was no chance she was letting Aedion use her precious machines again.

 Aelin looked outside the window. It was grey and dreary outside. Perfect conditions for the three of them to order pizza, rent a movie and just put this day behind them.

 "Aedion, I'm closing up." She didn't hear a reply. Aelin shrugged it off. He'd probably gone back up to sit with Lysandra.

 She opened a can of coffee grounds and inhaled wistfully. What she wouldn't give for a cup of straight caffeine. With one last longing sniff, Aelin refilled canisters for tomorrow and got to cleaning up the machines.

 All that was left was to close up the registers.

 She'd just unlocked the drawer when the ring of the shop bells went off.

 "Sorry, we're closed," Aelin said without looking away from the task at hand. She would have to remember to lock the doors first next time.

 Heavy boots thudded against her wooden floors as whoever it was approached the counter. Her irritation peeked. What was with the influx of entitled assholes lately?

 "We are close-" Aelin's stopped and her eyes narrowed at the gun barrel aimed at the center of her forehead.

I’m figuring out how the tagging list thing works- ☺️

If you would like me to add or take your name off the list for future updates let me know~

@thisismylibrary

@highladywhitethrone

@bee55

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[fandom-imagines-stories]

Sounds of Someday

Dean Winchester x Reader

Words: 3108

Summary: A fight leaves a rift in your heart and a split in Dean’s soul. Going your separate ways, you find that every road leads back to each other. 

Notes: Eeeee, I loved writing this one so much guys! I’ve been wanting to write a Dean imagine based on a Radio Company song and I just had to do this one. I also incorporated the song “Who’s Cryin Now” by Journey because I felt it fit the plot. 

Warnings: This one is a little steamier than other imagines I’ve written, but only for like, two seconds. I’m a tease.

Special shout out to my amazing beta reader Sarah, @suckmysupernatural​ . I love her so much and honestly, she’s helped me so much in getting these imagines out for you and she has some absolutely killer writing of her own!

Want more Supernatural? Find it HERE

-

All gone is here today

Finding room to breathe

“I’m done.” Those two words ripped through you as they left your lips. The anger on Dean’s face changed into remorse. 

“What?” 

“I can’t live like this anymore, Dean.” Your voice was hoarse from screaming at each other. This wasn’t the first fight you had had. But they’d never gotten this bad. 

“So what, you’re just going to pack up and leave?” He crossed his arms. He may have started this fight, but he hadn’t anticipated it to go this far. 

“Dean…” You ran a hand down your face in aggravation. “I can’t keep staying here, waiting for you to start the next apocalypse and then die trying to stop it.” The comment stung, but Dean wouldn’t show it. He set his jaw in a hard stare. 

“Fine.” That was it. That’s all he said to you. 

He stayed in the library while you went back to your shared room. You didn’t pay any attention to the clothes you grabbed, you just stuffed them into a duffel. The faster you got out of that bunker, the sooner you could stop fighting the tears that were burning your eyes. Dean hadn’t moved a muscle when you stormed back through. He wouldn't even look at you. 

“I-” You started, but you stopped yourself. It didn’t matter. You got up the stairs before he finally spoke.

“This is on you.” He said in a steady, seething voice. You laughed bitterly, shaking your head. 

“No, Dean. It’s not.” 

The sound of the door closing echoed through the bunker and in his head. Dean kept his eyes trained on the ground even when Sam entered the room. 

“Where’s she going?” His brother didn’t answer. “Dean, where is Y/N going?” 

Dean just stared up at the closed door as if he were waiting for you to come back in. The silence weighed heavily on his chest, crushing the air out of him. He’d pushed too far this time. You weren’t coming back.

-

As soon as the bunker was in your rearview mirror, you broke down. This wasn’t just a break up. You had just left the only family you had. Your heart was screaming at you to turn around and forgive him. To let him hold you and kiss you until you forgot what you were fighting about. But it wouldn’t work. Not this time. 

Dean’s words still rang through your head. 

“Maybe you just aren’t cut out for this.” He had spat. “You can’t bear the idea of losing us because you wouldn’t last a day on your own.” 

In your relationship, Dean had always helped you find your strength, but in that moment, he made you feel weak. Useless. You couldn’t stay. 

You turned on the radio to drown out your thoughts. 

Dean did the same as he laid in his bed back in the bunker. It felt… strange without you in it. He thought of your hurt and angry response. 

“Yes, Dean. I am terrified of losing you. Every time you go out that door, I pray that whatever it is your facing won’t take you away. But you leave without a second thought. You go out, guns blazing and ready to die.  It’s like you don’t care if you come back to me.” 

He pressed the button aggressively and listened to Journey fill his room. 

“One love feeds the fire. One heart burns desire. I wonder who’s crying now?”

You were half tempted to turn it back off. It was too fitting. The words made your heart ache.

“Two hearts, born to run. Who’ll be the lonely one? I wonder who’s crying now?” 

Dean covered his face with his hands. Hearing your tearful voice was like listening to your heart break. And it was his fault. 

Why couldn’t he just accept that someone cared about him? He had been pushing and pushing you away for months now and it finally got to be too much. You’d given up on him just like he’d given up on himself a long time ago. 

You found a motel to crash at and plan for the days to come. You needed a case and you needed one fast. You pulled up news sites from surrounding areas and checked for anything strange. 

Dean needed a case. It was the only thing that would get his mind off you. He enlisted Sam to help him with the search, though his younger brother kept badgering him with questions. 

“Where is she going?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is she coming back?”

“Don’t count on it.”

“What happened?”

“Just help me find a damn case!” Dean yelled. Sam stared at him and leaned back in the chair. He wasn’t surprised by his brother’s outburst, but he wasn’t backing down. Y/N wouldn’t just pick up and leave. He raised a brow, waiting for an explanation. Dean sighed. “She’s done, Sam.”

“What do you mean, ‘She’s done’?”

“I mean, she said she’s done. She said she can’t live like this anymore.” Dean ran a hand down his face and took a swig of his third beer. “She’s not coming back.” 

“Dean, I’m sure if you just call-”

“No.” Dean gave him a silencing stare. “Sam, just stay out of this, okay? She’s a big girl and can make her own damn decisions. This isn’t the first time a woman walked out angrily and it certainly won’t be the last. I’ll live.” But you weren’t just any woman. You weren’t a one-night-stand. He loved you. Which meant he would just have to try harder to forget you. 

-

Go on beyond your way

And see

Yellowstone National Park. You used to visit this place all the time when you were a kid. Your parents were park rangers here until they walked into the woods one day and never came back. You never did find out what happened to them. After they disappeared, you were taken in by your aunt, who spent her days hunting down monsters, trying to find the one that killed her sister and brother-in-law. You watched the job destroy her. 

You wouldn’t watch it destroy the man you loved. 

You had found some reports of campers going missing over the years. Not the usual bear attack either, though that’s what local authorities assumed. You had a particular creature in mind; wendigo. 

Dean threw his duffle onto the cabin bed and surveyed his lodgings. He had told Sam to sit this one out. He needed to clear his head, but he told his skeptical brother that he would call if he thought he couldn’t handle it. From the research he’d dug up, it looked like a possible wendigo. It had been years since he fought one of these bastards, so he would have to stay sharp. 

Dean figured that a fed would stand out too much in this environment, so he posed as a researcher looking into bear attacks. The ranger just gave him a smile.

“You must be that nice woman’s partner! She was looking into the same string of attacks you are.” He shook his head grimly. “A damn shame. If people just left the animals alone, we wouldn’t have such a problem with these attacks.” He rambled on for a moment before Dean cut him off. 

“Young woman?” The ranger’s brows furrowed. 

“Yeah, she was in here just a second ago. Wanted to know about those campers. Tough-looking, but man, she was a pretty one.” With a glare from Dean, the ranger corrected himself. “Didn’t know she was here with anybody.” Dean rolled his eyes. 

“Do you know where she was headed?” 

After you checked in with the main desk, you found your cabin. The mountains around you gave you a bittersweet nostalgia. You used to love it here. You sighed and stuck the key in the lock, freezing when you looked at the cabin next door. The slick-black exterior shined in the sunset. Son of a-

“Of all of the gin joints...” A voice mused behind you. 

You quickly unlocked your door and went inside. Dean caught the door before you could slam it on him. His expression was grave and his eyes still held the hurt that they had just two days ago. 

“This is my case, Dean. You can go.” You looked anywhere else in the room but him. You could brave leaving him once, but you didn’t know if your heart would let you do it again. 

“I found this case fair and square, so I’m not going anywhere sweetheart.” He said gruffly. You put your hands on your hips and he crossed his arms over his chest. Unless one of you said something, you could be in this stand-off for God knows how long. 

“I don’t have time for this, I have a wendigo to fry.” You started to pack your backpack, but Dean still didn’t move. 

“We have a wendigo to fry.” 

“No.” You shook your head. “No we. Just me.” You stuffed the last of your flare guns in your bag. 

“You’re not seriously going to take this on by yourself.” Dean scoffed. You narrowed your eyes. 

“Oh, and you are?”

“I hate to break it to you, Y/N, but wendigo��s are nasty sons-of-bitches. They’re big and they’re fast and would snap you in half before you could even light a match.” 

“Right, and a big macho man like you would be totally safe.”

“I’d have a better chance of fighting it off, that’s for sure.”

“Look here, Winchester.” You stalked towards him, jabbing a finger at his chest. “I know this area better than you, I’m a better tracker than you, and I can fight just as well as you can.” 

“This is different.”

“It’s really not.” 

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I want you to stop underestimating me.” 

“I should just lock you in here and throw away the key!”

“And I should give you a black eye!”

“When are we leaving?”

“Nightfall!”

“Fine!” 

“Fine!”

You dropped your bag on the floor as Dean’s lips collided with yours. His arms lifted your legs up and you wrapped them around his waist. This kiss was fervent and intense. Your back was pressed against the door and Dean helped you shed your jacket and you undid his belt. Your lips moved down to his neck, leaning forward to encourage him towards the bed. 

You slammed down onto the mattress, his green eyes looming over you and making your head spin. You started to lift his shirt over his head, but he paused. 

“Wait wait wait,” His brows furrowed together in a way that could only be described as extremely hot frustration, “is this break-up sex or make-up sex?” You used your legs to roll him to the side that you were straddling his waist. 

“Let me get back to you on that.” 

-

Even the fires on the road

Trying to get away

You hadn’t really said anything since you started hiking. It was just after twilight and stars were starting to dot the sky. You were focused on listening to the nature around you, hand prepped on your can of bear-spray. Just because a bear hadn’t killed those campers didn’t mean one wouldn’t kill you. 

Dean had a very uneasy feeling. Every snap set his nerves even more on edge. A wolf howled in the distance and he grabbed your arm, eyes wide. He definitely was not in his element out here. You just chuckled and shook your head. 

“And you said I couldn’t handle it.” He just gave you a cocky smirk. 

“Hey sweetheart, you’re legs sore from hiking yet?” He raised a brow and your cheeks flushed. 

“You’re a pig, Dean.” You scoffed, quickly turning around. It was his turn to chuckle. A silence fell between you as you continued to listen to the sounds of the night. A seriousness came to Dean’s expression. 

“Look, Y/N, about what I said back at the bunker-”

“I don’t think we should talk about that now.” You interrupted. Your head was fuzzy enough from the last couple hours in bed with him. Revisiting the break-up wouldn’t help anything. But Dean grabbed your hand, forcing you to stop. 

“I know that you can handle yourself. And I know that you’re afraid of me getting hurt and leaving you. But that’s not going to happen, baby.” He brought your hand to his chest so you could feel his heartbeat. 

“You don’t know that.” You looked at the forest floor. “Dean, how many times have you walked out ready to sacrifice yourself to save the world, or Sam, or me?” He didn’t answer. “I can’t live like that. I’ve watched too many people I love destroy themselves. I won’t watch it happen to you.” 

Before he could respond, a voice cried out in the woods. 

“Y/N! Help us!” Your eyes went wide. 

“Mom?” You gasped. 

“Baby, come find us!” 

“Dad?” Dean grabbed your shoulders. 

“Y/N, those aren’t your parents.” He said, trying to get you to focus on him rather than the phantom voices. “Your parents are gone.”

“Y/N!” 

“Mom!” You screamed. You broke away from Dean and took off into the trees. 

“Damn it, Y/N. Don’t!” Dean yelled after you. He tore through the foliage, but it was too late. You were gone. 

-

And all the stars seem on a roll

Out of control today

You groaned, your head feeling like a bowling pin. 

“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” You muttered angrily. How could you have fallen for a trick like that? Wendigos could mimic human voices. But how did it know what your parents sounded like? 

That’s when it clicked. Their disappearance in the woods, the destroyed camp site, the wendigo’s memory of them. This was the bastard that killed them. 

You were tied to a root or something in the ceiling of the cave. It was dark, but as your eyes adjusted, you could see the faint outline of other people across from you.

“Hello?” 

You were greeted with a quiet whimper and a little movement from the smaller form. The other body remained still. 

“Who’s there? Did that thing get you too?” It was a woman. You wracked your brain to remember the report

“Yeah,” You sighed, “Yeah it got me. But I have a friend out there. He’ll find us.”

“It’ll come back.” She cried. “It already… it killed Steven.” She was on the brink of hysterics, so you did your best to calm her down. 

“Jessie, right?” You said softly. You could just see her nod. “Jessie, it’s going to be okay. Dean is going to get us out of here and then we’re going to kill this thing.” How Dean was going to find you… you tried not to think about. 

A figure materialized from the dark. At first, you hoped it was Dean, but it was too big. It’s limbs were too lanky. 

“Oh my god, it’s back.” Jessie cried. You assessed the situation and spotted your bag just behind Steven’s hanging form. 

“Jessie, I need you to get a hold of that bag.” 

“I can’t! I can’t!” She bawled. You gave her a hard stare. 

“If you want to get out of here, you have to try.” You ordered. Seeing her movement, the creature picked her as its next target. She started to scream. Here goes nothing. “Hey!” You shouted at the monster. “Come and get me you freaky bastard! I taste good!” 

Thankfully, the beast took the bait. You started swinging back and forth, hoping that the root holding you would break, or at least wear down the ropes that bound your wrists. The wendigo clawed your arm, making you cry out as blood spurted from your bicep. 

“Hey!” Another voice added to the chaos and a flash of red zoomed by your face, nearly singeing your hair. Distracted by the newcomer, the wendigo turned away. Luckily, the creature had also scratched the ropes and with a few more jolts, your bindings snapped. You rolled towards your bag, ignoring the flood of pain that shot up from your arm. Jessie had been able to move it closer so in a few quick motions, you grabbed a flare gun and shot it into the monster’s stomach. The glare was bright enough that you needed to shield your eyes. 

Once the creature was fully cooked, you could finally see Dean. He moved towards you, but you motioned to Jessie. 

“Get her first.” He cut the frightened woman down and she threw her arms around him. 

“It’s alright, you’re safe now.” He tried to keep her line of sight away from her shredded boyfriend. You couldn’t help but watch him with admiration. The way he cared so much… it was what made you fall for him. He looked at you. “I’m going to take her out of here.” His expression was reluctant. He couldn’t stand the thought of leaving you here. 

“I’ll be fine, Dean. Go.” 

He swiftly ushered the woman out of the cave and you dug through your pack for bandages. Dean gave Jessie a can of bear spray and told her to wait while he went back for you. When he found you, you were leaning over a pile of old human bones. 

“At least now I know what happened.” You held up a small gold chain that you had found on one of the skeletons, buried beneath years of other victims. It was your mother’s. Dean knelt beside you and you took a shaking breath. “You were right, you know. Maybe I can’t handle this. I mean, I rushed into that forest with even a little hesitation. And I know what those bastards can do. I just didn’t care. I heard their voices and I just ran.” A tear fell down your cheek and you quickly brushed it away. 

“Y/N, you nearly got your arm clawed off and you still killed that thing.” Dean exclaimed, helping to wrap your injury tighter. “You are a great hunter. I just said that stuff because… I’m just as afraid of losing you as you are losing me. When that thing took you, I lost my damn mind.” 

You leaned your head against his chest and let him wrap his arms around you. You clutched the chain in your hand. Someday, all of this would make sense. How you found each other, how you continued to be pulled together even when you had given up, how you were willing to risk everything to stay together. Until then, you would enjoy the view. 

And though, the Sounds of Someday

May

Be 

Home

-

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[annab-nana]

Flowers Of Forgiveness - Colby Brock

You and Colby had known each other for five years, dated for two, and you’d think he would remember your birthday, right? Wrong and with birthdays being such a big deal to you, it hurt like hell. He messed up big time and it might be the last straw before your relationship crumbles unless he can manage to save it.

Requested by an amazing anon 💙

Warnings: some curse words; mentions of alcoholic parents

Word Count: 2.1k+

--------------------------------------------------

You look around the table to see who all is there. Tara is to your right, then it's Jake, Kevin, Reggie, Cassie, Devyn, Xepher, Griffin, Sam, Katrina, Corey, Mike, Aryia, and then there was an empty seat to the left of you. Colby's seat. You don't know why he isn't here yet. He couldn't have forgotten, could he? No, because last week he told you he cleared up his schedule for your birthday. So, where the hell was he?

"Excuse me for a second, guys. I am going to call Colby really quick to see where he is," You say as you stand up and walk out the front door of the restaurant.

"Hey babe!" you hear his chipper greeting flow out of the phone.

"Hey Colbs! Where are you?" you question. He must have got in some bad traffic and is just being held up a bit.

"I'm at my apartment, catching up on some Unus Annus videos." Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. He forgot your birthday. You had originally thought he was just being annoying or was trying to hide a surprise or something when he didn’t text you about it and avoided saying 'happy birthday' all day long. But he wasn't. He had forgotten it completely.

"Oh." The only response that came to mind spills out of your mouth.

"Yeah, what are you up to, babe?" He asks so nonchalantly.

"Um, I'm just out with the girls and wanted to check up on you. But I will let you get back to your videos," you say as tears brim your eyes. Your boyfriend of two years forgot your birthday.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later." You blink the tears that threaten to spill over away.

"Yeah, I might swing by your place before I go home. Talk to you later. Bye." Ending the call, you take a deep breath to calm yourself before heading back in.

"Okay, so Colby is just running late. He got caught up with some work stuff, but he'll be here soon," you lie as you sit down. You don't want to make the dinner awkward by saying that Colby forgot. You just want to enjoy the last bit of your birthday with the people who actually care enough about you to remember your birthday. You all order your food and talk and have a good time.

"I have to go to the bathroom. Y/n, wanna come with?" Tara asks. You nod before standing with her and following her to the restroom.

"Colby isn't coming, is he?" She asks as soon as the door shuts.

"No," you tell her the truth as the tears come back. "We've been together for two years. Friends for three before that and he just forgets. He has never forgotten before and he knows how much it hurts me when someone close and important to me does. My parents didn’t care enough to celebrate my birthday when I was younger which is fine, but Colby told me he would never do that to me. But here we are. He forgot."

"Oh y/n," Tara whispers as she pulls you into her tiny frame. "I am sure there is some reason for this, and you know better than I do that he is an idiot most of the time."

"Yeah," you laugh before going to the mirror to make sure that the few tears that did manage to escape did not mess up anything.

"I lied so that I wouldn't make anything awkward," you inform her as the two of you head back to the table and she nods understandingly. When y’all get back, the food had arrived, so you all eat. You thank everyone for coming as you leave the restaurant.

"Happy birthday y/n. I hate that Colby couldn't make it," Aryia tells you as he pulls you in for a goodbye hug.

"Yeah, traffic got the better of him, but we'll be doing something tomorrow," you lie again as you pull away from the embrace. After receiving many hugs and happy birthdays, you get in your car to go to Colby's.

Knocking his door, the anger and sadness in you boil. He swings the door open and lays his eyes on you, noticing how angry and upset you are.

"What happened babe?" He says as he opens the door wider to let you in. You walk in and turn to face him.

"What do you think happened?" you question him. His face drains of color as he thinks back on everything he has done to figure out what has set you off.

"Sweetie, I really don't know. Just tell me what I did," he pleads, completely oblivious to what was wrong.

"Did you forget something?" Again, he goes through everything he can think of and is stumped.

"I don't think so. I-"

"You aren't forgetting anything special. Like a holiday or someone's birthday..." you trail off, trying to get it through his thick skull.

"No, your birthday is tomorrow, and Kevin's is next week-"

"Oh sorry. I didn't realize my birthday was tomorrow. I thought it was on June 17th like it always has been for the past twenty or so years, but I must be mistaken," you sarcastically spit out. At this point, you were fuming.

"No, your birthday is on Thursday which is tomorrow," he retorts as you roll your eyes.

"Where is your phone? Have you been on that thing at all today? Normally your eyes are glued to it," you ask him. You can tell he is getting angrier with you, but at this point, you don't seem to care.

"No, I was taking a day away from my phone. I only answered important calls or texts but that was it," he informs you as he walks to where his phone was in his room.

"Tell me what today's date is, Colby."

"It's June 16th, I know it is because..." His voice fades out. He comes out of his room with his eyes on his phone.  "It's the 17th," he states bluntly before looking up to meet your sad and angry eyes.

"Y/n, I'm so sorry. I-"

"No Colby. You know how much birthdays mean to me. You know that. Do you know how embarrassing it was tonight when I was at dinner with all of our friends and the person who means the absolute most to me doesn't show? I hated being there and I couldn't even enjoy it because you weren't there."

"Did you tell them I forgot?" He asks me as he sits down on the couch, all ashamed.

"No, I didn't. Instead, I lied to all of them, but it was not to protect you and your feelings. It was for them so that they didn't have to feel awkward or feel bad for the girl that they were supposed to be celebrating. I told them you were caught up with work stuff and then got caught in traffic and couldn't make it. But Tara still figured it out. She was right. You are a damn idiot."

"No, I'm not!" He fights back as he rises to his feet in anger.

"Yes, you are," you laugh at him. "My parents even told me happy birthday this year Colby. They haven't done that since I was five. I guess they weren't drunk off their asses enough to forget it this morning." You take a breath before continuing.

"You must've not checked the group chat. They were all going off about my birthday and the dinner tonight. And you weren't on Twitter or Instagram either because then you would have seen your fans wishing me a happy birthday as well. People who don't even fucking know me knew my birthday was today."

"Y/n, I'm sorry. I don't know what to do."

"There's nothing you can do. You can't replace the feeling I have of not feeling good enough. You of all people know that when my parents forgot my sixth birthday, I was crushed. Then they forgot year after year after year. Then I met you and all of your amazing friends and you guys have made me feel so special and loved, especially on my birthday. You know that on anyone else's birthday, I make sure that they feel so loved and cared about because I know what it feels like to not be."

"I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean to forget. It just happened."

"Wow Colby, that makes me feel so much better. You know what? I am sorry. I probably sound like such a diva for getting upset about this, so I'm gonna go-"

"No y/n, please don't go."

"I'm going to leave and go back home. Probably cry myself to sleep? I don't know. We'll see." You place your hand on the doorknob.

"I've noticed how you never miss a beat when it comes to work stuff. But this isn't the first time you've forgotten something with me. It's just the first time it was something important. Get your priorities straight Colby if you want to keep me around." And with that, you leave his apartment, get in your car, and head home.

After walking in, you do exactly what you didn't want and start crying. You slip out of the clothes you were wearing and wipe off all your makeup. Throwing your hair into a messy bun, you walk to your phone to see the many messages and missed calls from Colby which you choose to ignore. The constant buzzing gets on your nerves so much that you turn the damn thing completely off before falling asleep.

…

"Oh, I'm so sorry, y/n," Devyn says as she walks into the living room with a bowl of popcorn. She had texted you last night when you had your phone turned off because of Colby and was asking if you were okay. She knew you were lying about the work and traffic stuff too. You called her this morning and asked her to come over because you were in need of some girl time, especially with your Dev, and she happily obliged. You told her all about it, providing the details of your past and all, and then you two decided a movie would make you feel better, specifically your favorite Moana.

"Yeah it sucks, but I'm going to give him a few days. I'll still like text him and stuff. I just don't want to see him for a bit," you tell her as the movie begins. The two of you sit back and enjoy the movie and popcorn until a knock at the door interrupts you.

"I'll get it," you huff as you make your way to the door before looking through the peephole to see the last person you wanted to at the moment.

"Colby," you mouth to Devyn. She nods, pausing the movie and skipping into your room. You open the door just enough for him to see you but that's it.

"Hey," you speak softly. You know you probably look like shit, but you honestly do not care. He should see how he made you feel.

"Hey, umm, y/n, I am really sorry and I-" you couldn't help but notice him steadily trying to peek behind you. Does he actually think you have some guy over or something? Is he really that jealous and think that low of you?

"Forgetful and jealous? Man, you really have changed Colby."

"No, I'm... never mind. I am here to apologize. I was a shitty boyfriend yesterday. I still am one today and I'll probably never be the best boyfriend in the world, but I will continue to try to be the best I can be for you. I know this isn't much at all, but it is something. It shows I pay attention to some details," he says as he pulls a bouquet of flowers out from behind his back.

After getting a better look at them, you notice that they are daffodils, your grandmother's favorite flower which became your favorite flower. You might have mentioned that once, maybe twice, but it was a long time ago. The fact that he remembered it warmed your heart. You smiled at him before taking the flowers from his grasp.

"You aren't completely off the hook, but I forgive you. Come here," you say as you pull the blue-eyed boy into your arms, wrapping them around his neck. His arms snake around your waist and lift you off the ground slightly.

"So, I haven't lost you yet?" He questions in your ear and you giggle into his before he sets you down. You bring the hand that wasn’t holding flowers to cup his face.

"Nope, but I suggest you don't forget my birthday again," you whisper as you place a small kiss on his nose.

"I won't. I promise. Your birthday will forever be engrained in here," he tells you as he taps on the side of his head.

"Oh yeah, what day is it?"

"June 23rd?" He jokes and you roll your eyes.

"That's Kevin's birthday sweetheart."

[peterbae]

Into it — Starker

W: age difference, incest kink — Peter and Tony aren’t actually related, but they like to pretend they do, exhibitionism kink

Author’s note: Okay, so I saw this @starkerxstarker ‘s  prompt and decided to write something just for myself. I decided to publish it tho, so I hope you’ll enjoy it!

(English isn’t my first language so forgive me for any mistakes) ...

Well, the blame wasn’t his to begin with, no matter what Tony says now.

It started pretty normal with Tony’s “Yes, show Daddy how much you love his cock.”, when Peter was going down on him, and then it turned into something more.

After discovering that they both shared this one specific kink, they made the very best of it. It turned them on more than anything else before — age difference, the obvious power play and an adrenaline rush they got from thinking they could get caught. And get caught they did…

The only peaceful morning Avengers could have (since Thor was absent due to him visiting Lady Jane), as Clint referred to it every time he told this story, the heroes were eating their breakfast. Pop tarts weren’t flying in the air so they deemed it a success. Steve made some French toasts and their happy chatter could be heard from the elevator. Unfortunately, if someone was engaged in other business, the presence of Captain America, Black Widow, Hulk, Hawkeye and the Falcon could be missed. Especially when a ride from ones bedroom to communal kitchen took so long and you were graced with company of your younger, persuasive boyfriend.

The two appeared in the hall, abandoning elevator’s wall for the hall’s one. It was just Parker’s luck, as Tony later explained, that their current location gave the group perfect view of what was happening. Mind you, they were about to stop them, but before they could, Tony’s mouth found its way to younger man’s neck and as he threw his head back, he moaned: “Oh, Daddy”.

The silence that followed was broken by gagging sounds made both by Clint and Sam. Natasha just raised her perfect eyebrow and Steve… Well, he blushed and asked them to take a seat.

What the Avengers did not know was that he liked it. One look at Tony made Peter’s knees weak and he could hardly focus on his breakfast. But he survived awkward boner and later on had very successful time in older man’s lab. Genius noticed — of course he did. He always did. And if Peter cum on the spot after hearing Stark’s dirty talk and mentions of glass walls that exposed them to anyone who would dare to visit Tony’s dungeon, as they liked to call it, nobody needed to know.

But then it turned into something else. After accepting the whole daddy kink thing they had going on, they went on a little trip. Somehow they ended up in some small town in Virginia. It wasn’t as bad as Tony made it to be and Peter really liked town’s aesthetic. It was also very funny to see his daddy stumble when the fifth person he tried to charm didn’t recognise him. Peter hid his mouth in his fist and tried to stay calm, when the oblivious waitress took their order.

“And anything else for your son?” She asked, and Peter immediately froze. He looked up only to see genius’s unreadable expression. “No, that will be all, thank you.” He told young woman.

When he caught genius’s eye, he didn’t know if he was upset. Tony gave the waitress his press smile and then focused on his own food. Spider-man couldn’t quite figure him out so he did the same.

You see, the thing is, Peter didn’t know if his boyfriend was upset, but he did know that waitress’s words excited him. Only couple of minutes later he caught Tony’s gaze on his red cheeks, which made him blush even more.

Peter coughed, trying to act like he was fine, but the dark eyes that were currently on his mouth didn’t make it easier. “Eat your pancakes, Pete. Dad’s got a thing he has to take care of later.” He murmured and Peter knew he was in for a hell of a ride.

The pension they were staying in wasn’t too far, so about half an hour later, they found themselves in their room. Peter’s back was on the wall, his hands held above his hand in a tight grip.

“You liked that, didn’t you?” Tony asked, getting younger man to shiver under his gaze. “The thought of them seeing us as father and son.” Older man continued. “You like being seen as this pure, innocent boy, huh, Pete?” He asked and all Peter could do in response was nod. He whined, high pitched voice going straight to genius’s cock. “Now, now, Pete, use your words.” The older man hummed, scratching the back of spider-man’s neck. “You’re a big boy, aren’t you?” He teased.

Peter blinked, his eyes slowly focusing on a figure in front of him. His eyes a little bit darker than usual, his mind practically blank because of their little making out session. It took him a minute, but Anthony was nothing if not a patient man (he really wasn’t, but for his dearest, he could wait). He waited this long and Peter knew he could wait longer. He wasn’t going to give in, no matter how desperate his boyfriend was.

“Ah, I—I do.” Younger moaned eventually. “You… Your age..” He groaned but somehow he knew that Tony knew what he meant. He wasn’t wrong, because brunette soon took a pity on him and his fingers found its way to Peter’s hole.

The thing is, it didn’t end with that. They continued, at first a little hesitant (Peter) and amused (Tony), not leaving their bedroom as they often did before discovering this new kink. It’s been almost three weeks after their little trip to Virginia, when Peter, face flushed with embarrassment, threw something at Tony. It was an ad, apparently targeted at fathers and their teenage sons. Older male only sent him a quick glance, raised one eyebrow, but didn’t say a word. The next thing he knew, KAREN informed him about the new appointment on his calendar and boy, was he excited.

The festival or whatever the thing was, wasn’t what Peter suspected it would be. He thought about something more or less related to countryside carnivals. At least, that’s what the flier said. As it turned out, it was more of a private celebration for the richest. Of course, man like Tony Stark was greeted with open arms, and as Peter later realised, that’s precisely why he agreed to come in the first place. They were safe from a public eye here. He knew he should’ve felt relief, but the well hidden disappointment was still there. That’s when it became clear to him — he wanted the world to see, to know that Tony Stark was his and to think about the filthy things they could be caught on doing only turned him even more on.

He survived — somehow — politely answering all the questions, smiling at businessmen, eating his ice cream and following Tony’s path all day. He even called him dad once or twice, only to see Iron Man’s facade falter. The man was too stoic for his liking, his press smile on, his eyes hidden under the expensive glasses. It’s safe to say that these couple of times were the only things that Peter actually enjoyed.

At the end of the day, it wasn’t really as fun as he imagined it would be. Whole event reminded im about the galas they attended regularly, all pretty clothes and boring speeches. It just wasn’t what Peter was looking for.

That’s why the next day, when he found himself pushed to the glass wall of Tony’s office, he didn’t hide his face. Older man asked him if being caught turned him on and he decided it was now or never. He threw his head back, laying it on older’s arm and looked at him with hooded eyes. “So much.” He whispered, only to moan shamelessly when man’s hand massaged him through his pants. Peter wanted more and he hoped that the heavy gaze of his lover meant he understood his tricky signs. If not, he could start considering openly talking about this thing, but god, he didn’t want to. He wasn’t exactly what you’d call shy, but the bedroom stuff still wasn’t something he enjoyed to talk about. After all, he always liked the hands on experience better.

The fact that he was dating genius came in handy. Tony always noticed everything about his surroundings. He was able to tell what was wrong with any household object after short inspection and more often than not was also able to tell what Peter tried to tell him indirectly. That was the case this time too.

Sunday evening they found themselves in some expensive restaurant that older man swore Pepper recommended. They sat in the darkest corner of the place and after couple minutes they decided what they wanted.

Tony greeted waiter with an easy smile, noticing his awestruck gaze. At this moment Peter knew that they were leaving huge tip. Genius always did, but especially when someone so obviously excited to see him, still acted professional and did their best to make them feel comfortable — ordinary, as he heard brunette once say with that longing look.

“The same for my son.” Tony said, not even bothering to hide his wide grin.

Peter decided that two could play a game and soon, he added: “Dad, I’m 19, I can order for myself.” He scolded the man, sending the waiter small smile.

Poor worker, unaware of their little game, just nodded along and left. The next thing he knew, Tony stood up, relocating himself so he sat beside Peter.

“So you’re all grown up now, huh?” Billionaire asked, tracing younger’s spine with his left hand. “We both know you’re just as helpless as the baby, Pete…” He whispered, his breath tasing the skin of teenager’s neck.

“What are you doing?” Peter asked, when older found his way to front of his pants. He unbuttoned them regardless of younger’s almost silent protests. The rest of the guests couldn’t possibly see what was going on, but he could bet on the fact that his face was a give away anyway. He was hard, so he couldn’t exactly lie to the man next to him. Beside, it wasn’t like he was enjoying it.

The humiliation became even more apparent when the confused waiter came back. The two were still hidden, but figuring out what they were doing wasn’t really a rocket science. It was a miracle that they weren’t being thrown out on the spot. Peter suspected it had something to do with the fact that they were Avengers and the man currently stroking his dick could probably buy and destroy the whole restaurant without losing any serious money.

“Ah, Peter, darling, let daddy help you with that.” Tony teased and teen could only feel sorry for the, now absolutely red, waiter. He noted to tell his boyfriend to be exceptionally generous with tips today. After all, this, whatever it was, probably wasn’t in the poor guy’s job description. And they did let him think that they were related at first. Peter just hoped they didn’t scare him for the rest of his life with their little incest thing.

“Tony, we’re gonna get caught.” He choked, placing his hand on the genius’s forearm. He didn’t push or tried to maneuver older’s hand out of his well fitted jeans. He just unconsciously held it — probably to gain some balance. Not that he was in any shape to think about that now, when Tony started moving his hand. “Would that really be so bad, though?” Superhero asked, caressing younger’s thigh with his free hand. “Wouldn’t you like them all to know that you belong to me?” He whispered, almost completely covering him from curious eyes. After being teased and held so closely he could very well smell what was undoubtedly Tony’s expensive cologne and the scent that was entirely just him, all Peter could do was whine. He gave in, just like that, allowing himself to finally enjoy this fantasy of his.

Soon, they found themselves sitting in a sports car, Peter with sticky briefs and Tony with a smug smile. If the hard on in genius’s suit pants was anything to go by, this was another thing the superheroes were not going to give up quickly. And if they scandalised more waiters, they always made sure to make it up to them with generous tips.

[jbbarnesnnoble]

Forgiveness in My Heart

Summary: You take a trip down memory lane, remembering better times

Features: Mild sensual smut (is that a thing?); angst with a happy ending; Reader grew up on the Jersey Shore 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader

Notes: I was listening to Sinning with You by Sam Hunt while writing this

Word Count: 2059

Cinnamon, Old Spice, and mint always pulled you into memories you sometimes wished you could forget. You remembered the day you met him. You had been on the beach in Jersey, the early Autumn air chasing most people away. You lived in Jersey, worked in Manhattan for Stark Industries. You never expected an Avenger to show up to the beach in the middle of October. You rarely saw them, outside of Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner. Occasionally you saw Sergeant Barnes when his arm needed an adjustment. Mr. Stark had spoken to you about potentially moving to the Avengers compound to work there, with him and Dr. Banner, but you weren’t sure. 

You had grown up in a small town, where people talked about the most minute things about others. The beach wasn’t far from your house, less than five miles. Living at home beat paying the cost of rent, be it in the city or in the area where you grew up. You were letting the water lap at your feet, despite the chill in the air and in the water. You had pulled your socks and shoes off the second you got there. It was a Sunday, the sun starting to peek over the horizon. The beach at sunrise was your happy place. 

You were surprised when he sat down beside you, not saying a word. But you could smell the familiar scent. You had helped Dr. Banner with Sergeant Barnes’ arm on a few occasions. He reminded you an awful lot of the guys your mother would hate. His past didn’t help matters. You knew how your family viewed him. In the few conversations you’d had with him while working, you saw something else. He was slowly breaking out of the shell he had. 

You remembered looking at him when he sat down beside you, your face betrayed your surprise, your curiosity. He gave you a small smile when he looked at you. 

“You mentioned coming to the beach to clear your head sometimes. I used to come down here as a kid sometimes. It was different then,” he had said. You had smiled at him. 

“So you were a Benny then?” you asked playfully. 

“A what?” he had asked. 

“Benny...some people say it stands for Bayonne, Elizabeth, Newark, and New York. No matter what the origin, it’s people who aren’t from here. Tourists. Shoobies. Just...a lot meaner,” you had told him with a laugh. The two of you had sat there for a while talking. A routine had started when he wasn’t on missions, until you moved into the compound.

To him, you had been innocence personified. He saw the looks the two of you had gotten when you brought him to get “the best damn pizza on the Jersey Shore” in your hometown. Disapproval was obvious. The whispers that followed were worse. He could hear those. At least with the looks on peoples’ faces, he didn’t have to acknowledge the thoughts they were probably having about him. Someone like you, willingly with someone like him was something your small town could not stand behind. 

You remembered the first night the two of you had slept together. No, the first night the two of you made love. To say it was anything else made it too crude, made a mockery of what you had felt that night and every night after. It had been after you moved into the compound. An accident in the lab had left you slightly injured, but it could have been much worse. You had always assumed it would be Bucky getting injured that would cause the first moment of terror at the thought of losing the other in your relationship, but you had been wrong.

That night, Bucky carried you from the med bay to his room, where he had lit candles. He ran a bath and had helped you undress and ease into the water. You had asked him to join you. He hesitated before removing his clothing. Your eyes had widened when you saw his cock, half-erect. You weren’t the most experienced, but you had had sex before. You moved up so he could move behind you. There was nothing inherently sexual about it. Bucky made a move to massage your shoulders, pressing light kisses across them before soaping up a washcloth to help you clean up. The bath was mostly to help you relax, the scent of lavender and chamomile drifting around you. He took his time, gently washing around your breasts before moving lower. 

He had lifted you out of the bath, wrapping a towel around you before setting you on the counter and draining the tub. He brought you into his room, setting you on the bed. You kissed him first. Towels soon laid forgotten on the ground as Bucky moved you back on the bed, only parting from you to readjust the both of you to be more comfortable. His right hand drifted down your body, gently pulling at your thigh. You obliged by parting your legs. He kissed down your chest, taking time to tease both breasts as his fingers parted your folds, your wetness meeting them.

You had arched off the bed as he pressed one finger into you as he continued making his way down your body with his mouth. One finger wasn’t enough to bring you the relief for the growing fire inside you. If this was a sin, you never wanted to stop. He added a second finger as he reached your pussy, but he didn’t go where you had so desperately wanted him to. He kissed his way down one thigh and up the other as his fingers worked their way in and out. Your quiet whimpers had turned into full blown moans, begging for more. Bucky looked up at you with a smirk on his face.

“Tell me what you want, darling, and I’ll give you the world,” he promised. You begged to cum and he obliged, a third finger quickly joining the first two as his mouth finally made its way to your pussy. His tongue moved from your entrance up to your clit, swirling around the sensitive bud. Your moans hit a fever pitch. You swore you blacked out as you came. When you caught your breath, Bucky looked wrecked, wetness dripping from his face. He pulled you into a kiss, and you tasted yourself on his lips. You moved to get your lips around his cock, only to be stopped.

“Not tonight. Tonight is about you,” he had said. He pushed you to lay back. He lined himself up with your entrance and pushed in slowly, watching your expression as he did so. He didn’t move until you begged him to, the pace slow and sensual. You wrapped your legs around him, attempting to pull him closer. His lips met yours once more in a slow kiss. His pace picked up, but never to a brutal pace. He moaned out your name as if it was a prayer. Your second orgasm crashed over you as he moved one of his hands to play with your clit. The sensation pulled him over the edge with you. The two of you had laid still for a moment, catching your breath, before he pulled you into another kiss and whispered his love for you. 

You were pulled out of your reminiscing by a folder slamming down in front of you. It had been three months since you’d seen Bucky. He had left you three months prior. You had brought him as your date to a wedding in your hometown. It was when you got home that night that he had ended things. 

“Is everything okay?” you asked. Bucky shook his head.

“I’m no good for you,” he said.

“I think I should be the judge of that, don’t you?” you asked. He ran a hand through his hair. He was frustrated and that much was obvious. 

“You don’t understand. I’m sorry, but I don’t think this is going to work out,” he said. You felt tears stinging your eyes.

“And that’s it? You decide we’re done and we’re done? We’re not even going to talk about this?” you asked.

“I’m sorry,” he said. You shook your head, the hand you had brought to your forehead in frustration dropping.

“Yeah. So am I,” you said, walking out of his room and slamming the door. 

You avoided him after that. It was easy when he took a long term mission with Sam and Wanda. You looked up at whoever had slammed the folder down, surprised to see Natasha.

“Tony said he needed you in conference room 5, something about going over new prototypes,” she said. You nodded. You were nose deep in the file as you walked in, not registering the locking of the door. Conference room 5 was the only conference room that had a voice activated lock that only Tony could access. You turned and saw him at the window with Natasha and Steve.

“What the hell?” you asked.

“You and the Soviet Freeze Pop are going to work out whatever problem you have with one another. FRIDAY isn’t recording, but she’s not letting you out until the two of you fix this,” Tony said. You turned and saw Bucky, with his jaw clenched, glaring at the trio. The blinds on the door closed, along with the ones on the windows surrounding the room. You knew it was sound proof. 

“James,” you said. 

“I have nothing to say,” he said. 

“Good. Because maybe now you’ll let me have a say in all of this. I love you. I haven’t stopped loving you. I don’t know why you feel like throwing us away is the answer at the first sign of trouble,” you said. You took him in, really took him in. He had cut his hair not long after you’d started dating, but it had started growing back in again. His beard was unkempt, which was unlike him. If he wasn’t clean shaven for some reason, he always took care of his beard, keeping it neat and tidy. He looked like he hadn’t handled things any better than you. Even with his mission, you knew he would have cleaned up. He had been back for a week. 

“I told you. I’m not good for you. If you knew what people said when they saw you with me. A good girl like you doesn’t belong with someone like me and everyone knows it,” he said.

“That’s what this is about? Bucky...James, look at me,” you said, as you made your way over to him, placing a hand on his cheek. Blue eyes met yours, not moving away from your face.

“I know what people say. And I don’t care. The people in my hometown...they’re small minded idiots who only accept what they see on TV as fact. They don’t think critically. If they took the time to get to know you, they’d see what I see. Someone who loves his friends deeply. Someone who would go to hell and back for the people he cares about. They’d see the man who will turn into an overexcited child the minute he sees any baby animal. They’d see the man who cried during P.S. I Love You and don’t you deny it, I still have the recording from FRIDAY,” you said. He glared at you, but it held no malice.

“I didn’t cry. My allergies were acting up,” he said. You shook your head.

“You, the super soldier who doesn’t get sick, totally the allergies you totally have,” you said, tapping his shoulder lightly. He smiled. 

“I do love you,” he said.

“I know. James...I don’t like being without you. I don’t like waking up without your kisses for a reason other than you being on a mission. I don’t like not talking to you,” you said.

“I don’t like it either, darling. Can we start over?” he asked. You didn’t verbalize a response. Instead you pulled him into a kiss. You heard the door unlock.

“Come on, I think we have a lot of making up to do,” you said, giving him a wink. He picked you up and you let out a shriek before laughing. Yeah. Things were going to be okay.

[marvxlousqueen]

Warren Worthington- Not Good Enough

thank you to @bennyblueberry  to sending me this prompt idea :))- warren taking your virginity? and he’s all scary to everyone else and to you at first but then he’s really soft once he learns you’re a virgin? and he’s not really sure why you like him so much and maybe he tries to convince you he’s not the right one to take it but you want him to anyway?  

word count: 2.6 K

warnings: insecure warren, lowkey dorky virgin!reader, fluffy smut, oral (fem receiving), protected sex yay!, cursing, a lot of references to Sixteen Candles but like explained :))

Warren had been having some slight trouble adjusting to Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. Other students weren’t too pleased to see him turn up the next school year following their most recent battle. Plus he didn’t look too friendly, still have metal wings and face tattoos, a permanent reminder of his time with Apocalypse. Most students avoided him, leaving him to sit alone at lunch and talk to no one during class. 

(Y/n) never understood how the others could treat him so badly, completely isolating him. She often spoke out about how mistreatment is exactly what caused Warren to join a dark force like the horsemen, but her message was never well received. 

“No! We are not inviting him over to eat with us! He’ll kill us next time he gets the chance.”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes, “Jean that is totally unfair to him! Imagine you were being forced to kill other mutants and someone offered you a way out, a way to be safe and have others protect you, wouldn’t you take it?”

“No! I wouldn’t kill others in the first place! I’m not eating with him.”

(Y/n) let out a huff and stood up, “Fine, I’ll go over there and eat with him since you want to be a bitch.”

(Y/n) made her way to Warren’s secluded table in the corner of the cafeteria. She placed her tray down and put her backpack in the seat next to her, before taking a seat right across from Warren. 

“Hi! I’m-”

“Why are you here?” His voice was gruff when he interrupted her. Warren’s eyes said on his food, pushing it around. 

“Well-um, you’ve been here for like, what? A week? I just figured I should introduce myself since we’ll be seeing a lot of each other around school. So.. I’m (Y/n).”

“I know.” 

“Okay.. cool, yeah I know you too, your name’s Warren- which is a cool name by the way-”

His eyes finally met hers, colder than she was expecting, “You can leave. You don’t have to eat with me.”

(Y/n)’s eyebrows furrowed, “I know I don’t have to. I want to.. you seem..”

“Scary?”

“No! I was going to say-lonely. We can be friends if you want?”

Warren’s eyes went back to his plate, “You don’t want to be my friend.”

(Y/n) let out a small laugh at that. “Wow, you are so dramatic. I wouldn’t come over and talk to you if I didn’t want to, I’m not like that. Come on, Warren, I can give you a tour around campus. You’ve probably seen most of it since you’ve been here for almost a week, but I know all the hidden places! It’ll be fun.”

He looked up, head slightly tilted, “You actually want to be my friend?”

(Y/n) nodded, “Now come on, hurry up and eat, we have places to be!”

(Y/n) and Warren began to spend more and more time together over the next few months, eating meals, doing homework, walking to class, even training together. 

“No, you should totally come with us to the movies, Warren. It’s supposed to be really good!”

Warren scoffed, “Ghostbusters? Sounds stupid, count me out.” 

(Y/n) walked over to where he was sitting on her bed and put her hands on his shoulders. “Please? Jean is bringing Scott and Jubilee doesn’t want to go. I don’t want to be a third wheel. Plus if it’s scary like Jean thinks it’s going to be, then who will be there to protect me?”

Warren’s face turned red at the thought of being able to hold (Y/n) and protect her, “Oh shut up, it’s a comedy.”

“Still! Ghosts are scary! I need someone to comfort me if I get scared.”

Warren, still a bit red in the face, “I’m not going.. Scott and Jean wouldn’t want me there anyways.” Even though he mumbled the last bit, (Y/n) still caught his words.

“What?”

“They don’t like me, actually they hate me and don’t act like they don’t because I know they do.”

“No, Warren- they really don’t!”

He rolled his eyes, “They never talk to me when I try to talk to them, they won’t eat with me even when you sit with me, they hate me. And you should hate me too.”

(Y/n) crouched in front of him, eye level to where he was seated. She grabbed his chin, making his eyes meet hers. “Fine.. maybe they don’t really like you all that much, but who cares? I like you, Warren. I like you a lot..” (Y/n) felt herself blush, but didn’t move her eyes off of Warren’s. Instead she leaned forward, placing a quick peck on his lips.

Warren was frozen, not knowing how to react to what she had just done. “I-I’m so sorry, Warren.. I don’t know why I did that, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, that’s okay..” 

(Y/n) nodded a little, standing up and walking to the other side of her room, wanting nothing more than the ground to swallow her up because Warren obviously didn’t reciprocate her feelings. 

Warren cleared his throat before realizing he never returned her statement. “Oh! I-uh, I like you too.. if you meant it like that..”

(Y/n) whipped around to face him, “Yes! I meant it like that..” Warren nodded in response, face just as red as hers. 

“So.. do you want to go to the movies with me? We don’t have to go with Jean and Scott, you know- we can go by ourselves.. as a date?”

Warren gave her a shy smile, “Y-yeah, yes. I would like that.” 

“Cool, cool. But if we aren’t going with them, we don’t have a car..”

“I can fly us there, if you want..?”

Flying was an amazing experience, which (Y/N) highly recommends. The air was cold, but Warren’s chest was warm, his strong arms holding her against him. He would’ve gladly stayed in that position all night, but he was also looking forward to being able to wrap his arm around her at the theater. The flight only took about 10 minutes before they landed in the mall parking lot, making their way into the theater.

“Looks like the theater is full for Ghostbusters, but we could see... Sixteen Candles? I heard it’s pretty good.” Warren nodded, paying for popcorn and drinks while (Y/n) bought the tickets. They made their way into the theater, choosing seats in the middle to get the best view. It was fairly empty, seeing as how the movie had already been out for a little over a month. 

The opening scene was funny, making (Y/n) laugh, which made Warren’s heat beat faster. Then the movie transitioned into scenes in Sam’s high school, which was normal until she started filling out a questionnaire about her... sexual experiences. 

(Y/n) let out a soft chuckle when she saw Molly Ringwald’s character answer the question, “Have you ever done it?” with “I don’t think so.”

“What’s so funny?” Warren meant it as a genuine question, not playful banter, because truthfully he had been too distracted staring at (Y/n) to focus on the screen. 

“Just funny how she answered the question,” she whispered back to him, despite the theater being so empty. 

“What was the question?” Warren looked at her, actually confused.

“Um- it was, have you ever done...it?” 

Warren’s cheeks heated up a bit, “Oh..” They sat in silence for a minute before Warren spoke again. “Have you ever done it?”

“What?” (Y/n) whipped her head towards him, already blushing. “I mean.. no..”

Warren looked back at the screen, deciding to answer her with the next question Sam was filling out in the movie. “Would you ever want to if you could?”

(Y/n) gave a slight nod, eyes not leaving Warren’s side profile. He continued watching the movie, asking her the next question. “With who?”

(Y/n)’s face was hotter than ever before, but she didn’t want her nerves to ruin what was happening. She leaned into Warren’s side, lips almost touching his ear, “You.”

Warren gulped, not honestly expecting her to answer like that. “Oh..” 

Warren didn’t say anything else for the rest of the scene. Oh god, you totally fucked it up (Y/n)! He probably thinks you’re like some super desperate virgin now, she thought to herself. (Y/n) leaned away from him, praying he would say something that would indicate she didn’t ruin their first date, but no words came.

Things just got more awkward as the movie progressed. In the next scene Caroline’s boobs popped up on the screen, causing Warren to choke on the popcorn he was eating. (Y/n) buried her face in her hands until the movie was over.

The flight back was even worse, having to cling to Warren, or else she would literally fall to her death. Once they landed in front of the school, Warren sped off to his room, leaving (Y/n) outside in the front yard. 

Great, (Y/n). That’s..great. Way to go! You know what? No. Our friendship will not be ruined over me being a dumbass during a stupid chick flick. 

(Y/n) marched in the school, making her way towards the boy’s dorm hallway, finding Warren’s room. She knocked quickly before she lost her confidence.

“What-”

(Y/n) pushed her way into Warren’s room, “Listen, Warren. I’m sorry I said what I said about wanting to have sex with you, but you kept asking me questions and I figured that was your way of flirting so- forgive me, but I don’t want to lose our friendship over this, okay?” 

Warren’s eyes were wide, “That-that was flirting, but it got too real so-”

“How did it get too real? What does that mean?”

“It doesn’t matter..”

“Obviously it does, Warren.”

“It means that- I don’t know! You don’t actually want to have sex with me! You shouldn’t want to! You shouldn’t even want to date me! You shouldn’t even want to be my friend!”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“I’m not good enough for you, okay? I’m not good enough to be your friend and I’m definitely not good enough to take your virginity so-” 

“Warren, shut up! You are a great friend and if I want you to take my virginity then I obviously think you are good enough.” (Y/n) face was flushed, heart beating fast.

“You don’t mean that..”

“Yes..I- I do. I like you a lot and I trust you and.. I want you, Warren..”

He cleared his throat, shaking his head slightly. “Are you-”

“Yes, I’m sure. Please... Warren.”

Warren took a step towards her, eyes looking from her eyes to her lips. (Y/n) closed the gap, pressing her soft lips against his slightly chapped ones. He walked her back to his bed until she fell onto it, him on top of her. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, making her gasp. Warren pulled off of her for a moment, “Wait? Am I your first kiss?” 

(Y/n) pushed his shoulder, “Shut up! Take off your shirt.”

“Feisty!” Warren felt his confidence returning and pulled off his shirt, with some difficulty, trying not to rip it to shreds with his metal wings. He helped (Y/n) ease her’s over her head, leaving her in a plain bra.

“I guess I should’ve worn something a bit sexier, but I didn’t really know this was going to happen..”

“No-you’re perfect.” Warren placed a quick kiss to her shoulder before sliding the straps of her bra down, unclipping it from behind. Warren kissed down her chest, making his way to the waistband of her jeans. “Can I-”

(Y/n) nodded, helping him slide them down her legs. He moved his eyes back to hers before sliding down her underwear. Warren pushed (Y/n)’s thighs apart, eyes locking onto her wet core. He placed a kiss onto her clit before sliding a finger into her. 

“Is that okay?” 

(Y/n) let out a soft moan, nodding in approval, hands bunching up his sheets as his finger started to go deeper and faster. Warren added a second finger to her, tongue still licking at her clit. 

“F-Fuck, Warren! T-That feels really good..” (Y/n)’s face was red and she felt like her stomach was tightening.

Warren removed his two fingers, replacing them with his tongue, using his hands to keep her legs in place. (Y/n) looked down to see him staring up at her while he devoured her. 

“Shit-”

(Y/n) felt herself clench around Warren’s tongue, urging him to go faster to push her over the edge. One of his hands reached up to massage her breasts while he continued to eat her out. 

“Fuck- I think, I think I’m going to-”

(Y/n)’s voice was cut off by a loud moan as she was pushed over the edge, finishing all over Warren’s tongue. He lapped up all her juices, smiling at the taste. 

“That was fun.”

(Y/n) blushed again, “Shut up!”

“I’m serious!” 

Warren climbed back up to her, kissing her neck. “Do you think you’re ready to-”

“Yes, I’m so ready.”

Warren reached over to his night stand to grab a condom. 

“You have condoms?”

“Yeah..” Warren was a little shy about that, “I just wanted to be prepared in case we..”

“In case we ever fucked?”

Warren nodded, rolling the condom on, “It’s coming in handy, isn’t it?”

(Y/n) laughed, happy that her first time was so relaxed. Warren put one of his arms next to (Y/n)’s head, using the other one to wrap (Y/n)’s leg around his waist. 

“This is going to hurt, but just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”

(Y/n) gave him a smile and a quick nod, biting her lip. Warren lined himself up with her entrance before slowly pushing in.

“Ow, okay, fuck-”

Warren stopped his movements, “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah just keep going, I’m fine.” 

Warren put his face in her neck, leaving a love bite to trying and distract her from the pain. Warren finally bottomed out and felt her relax around him. “F-fuck, you’re really tight.”

“Yeah, well, you’re really big and stretching the shit out of me so..”

Warren laughed before placing a kiss to her lips. “Should I move? Are you okay?”

(Y/n) nodded and Warren pulled out a few inches before pushing in again. (Y/n) bit her lip, still trying to adjust to having him in her. Warren pulled back even farther this time, pushing in deeper. After a few more thrusts, (Y/n) let out a gasp. 

“Feeling better?”

She only moaned in response, hands flying to Warren’s hair, pulling on his golden locks. Warren picked up his pace, hips banging into hers.

“Holy shit! Warren!”

Warren smirked down at her, thrusting faster. He buried his face in her neck again, groaning into her ear. “God-you’re so tight, fuck!”

(Y/n)’s hands move to scratch down his back, her nails leaving marks. Her legs tightened around his waist, pushing him deeper into her. “Fuck, Warren- oh fuck!”

He pounded into her until he felt himself getting close. He moved one of his hands down to rub her clit, making her scream out. “Warren! Oh!”

“Come for me, (Y/n), fuck-”

(Y/n) let out a final gasp, finishing, before her legs fell back to the bed. Warren thrusted a few more times before finishing in the condom. He slowly pulled out of her, then he stood up to throw away the condom. 

He jumped back into bed with (Y/n). “So are you okay?”

She rolled onto her side to look at him. “I’m fan-fucking-tastic. That was.. you were.. great..”

Warren smiled down at her, “I’m glad.. And I’m sorry I didn’t think you actually wanted to.. you know. I just didn’t think I was good enough.”

(Y/n) sat up to face him, “You are perfect, Warren. I really like you.” She placed a soft kiss to his cheek before crawling under his covers and falling asleep, Warren’s arm wrapped around her. 

taglist: @chocolatealmondmilkshake @thoughtlesspace hmu to be added:)

[seraph-novak]

Pride Gift Exchange ~ Belonging

For @green-lemonboys 

I was told you like Tyrus, Ambi, friends-to-lovers, first kisses, and angst with a happy ending, so I tried to include all of those here... I hope you like it! Happy Pride ♥

~~~~~

Cyrus stood by patiently as TJ examined the sign on the door, his eyes studiously tracing the rainbow-coloured acronym glittering beneath the laminated sheen.

“GSA,” TJ mumbled under his breath. There was a furrow between his light brows, one that Cyrus desperately wanted to smooth away with the touch of his fingertips, and his lips were pressed into a thin, trembling line. Cyrus hadn’t seen his friend this anxious since he’d come out to him a few months ago.

“It stands for ‘Gay-Straight Alliance’,” Cyrus said, feeling like an idiot. Even if the meaning hadn't been written in smaller letters at the bottom of the poster, he’d already explained the purpose of the club when he’d invited TJ.

“I know what it means.” TJ flicked him an amused glance, then blew out a long, billowing sigh. His hands were shaking as he stuffed them into his pockets. “I guess we should go inside, huh?”

“You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.”

“I know.”

Cyrus chewed the inside of his cheek, debating whether or not to reach out and touch him. Ever since they’d come out to each other, they’d grown impossibly close, to the point where even his parents had assumed they were already dating. But he didn’t want to risk the possibility of something more by moving too quickly, so he settled for a friendly clap on the shoulder instead.  

“It’s not as scary as it sounds,” he assured him gently. “Everyone there is really nice. And they won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

“You sure?”

“100%.”

TJ glanced down at the hand on his shoulder, and the worry etched into his face instantly melted away, the corners of his mouth turning up softly. When he looked up again, Cyrus could swear the world stopped spinning for a brief, heart-stuttering moment.

“Thanks, Underdog.”

Cyrus swallowed thickly and smiled. “No problem.”

“You wanna go in?”

“Only if you do.”

“Yeah.” TJ sucked in a shaky breath, his eyes never leaving Cyrus’ face. “I’m ready.”

The moment they stepped through the door, Cyrus knew something was wrong. Besides Andi and Amber, who greeted them with shared grins as they waved them over to a couple of empty seats, everyone in the room turned and glared at TJ with guarded, mistrustful eyes. Cyrus tried to diffuse the tension with a polite smile as they walked across the room, but it was no use. They didn’t even make it to their seats before someone spoke up.

“What the hell is he doing here?”

Cyrus vaguely recognised the boy from one of his classes last year. Sam, he thought his name was. Apart from a handful of conversations they’d shared at GSA meetings in the past, they’d never really spoken before. But judging by the pure disdain brimming behind Sam’s glasses, he definitely knew TJ.

“That guy’s an asshole,” Sam continued, rising from his chair to point an accusatory finger in TJ’s face. “He used to threaten to steal my lunch if I didn’t let him copy my homework.”

A ripple of nodding heads and murmured agreements passed through the group, until almost the entire room was staring at TJ with a mixture of fear and hatred darkening their expressions. If Cyrus didn’t know any better, he’d think TJ had just kicked a puppy right in front of them.

“I thought this group was welcome to everyone,” he argued, instinctively stepping in front of TJ to shield him from their piercing glowers.

Sam scoffed. “Not bullies.”

“TJ isn’t like that anymore,” Cyrus insisted. “He’s changed!”

“Yeah, right.”

“When’s the last time he was mean to you?”

“That isn’t the point!”

“Of course it is,” Amber said, her top lip twitching with barely concealed rage. If it weren’t for Andi’s hand on her arm, she probably would’ve charged across the room and put Sam into a headlock by now. “People change, dumbass. They get better.”

“Not him.”

“Why –”

“He’s nothing but a stupid jock!” Sam spat. There were two patches of red now blooming on his cheeks, but he wasn’t backing down. If anything, he was getting angrier. “I mean, look at him. He’s aggressively straight, for God’s sake!”

TJ flinched, and Cyrus could feel his patience quickly morphing into rage. It was one thing to judge TJ for his past mistakes, but to stick him with a label just by looking at him? That was crossing the line.

“You need to calm down,” Cyrus said, trying his best to keep his voice from shaking. “TJ’s done nothing wrong.”

“He –”

“That was years ago! He’s a different person now.”

Sam shook his head. “This is supposed to be a safe space, remember? How are we supposed to feel safe with him here?” He looked over at TJ and tightened his jaw. “I’m sorry, Cyrus, but no. It isn’t fair on everyone else.”

Cyrus opened his mouth to protest, but TJ stopped him with a hand on his arm, the furrow between his brows even deeper than before as he silently begged him not to say anything else. Cyrus knew him well enough to notice the slight wobble of his chin, the glassy film over his eyes… He was close to tears, but he didn’t want to break down in front of these people. If there was one thing TJ feared more than anything, it was letting the world see him weak.

“He’s right,” TJ said, his voice thick with unshed tears. He glanced around the room, his eyes slowly drifting across a sea of hateful faces, then let his hand slide away from Cyrus’ arm. “I should go.”

“No, TJ –”

“I don’t belong here, Cy.”

“That isn’t true!”

“I’ll wait for you outside, okay?”

“TJ…”

But it was hopeless. TJ was already walking out the door, his head hanging low to hide his face from the rest of the room. As soon as he was gone, Cyrus allowed the anger in his gut to boil over completely, spilling into his veins and setting his eyes alight with a burning fury he’d never felt before.

“How dare you,” he all but whispered. “Do you have any idea how scared he was about coming here today? I told him he’d be fine, and you treated him like dirt. You might’ve just knocked his confidence forever.”

Sam licked his lips, at least having the good grace to look a little bit guilty. “What did you expect us to do?”

“Not be a complete dick,” Amber muttered.

“I expected you to be welcoming,” he said, shooting Amber a lightly chastising look. “TJ’s been pressured to be someone he’s not his entire life. By his parents, his teachers, his friends… And now he’s finally starting to figure out who he is, and you turned him away. You made him doubt himself.” Cyrus took a deep, calming breath, then turned to the rest of the group. “I know TJ’s made mistakes in the past, but he shouldn’t have to carry them around forever. No one blames him more than he does, trust me.”

Sam huffed, clearly caught between sympathy and defiance. “How are we supposed to just forgive him like that, huh? He made a lot of us feel like crap, you know?”

“Me included,” Cyrus said. “But he’s working on it. Believe me. And if you give him a chance, you’ll see what I see in him.” He smiled, his cheeks growing warm as that familiar feeling of fondness washed over him, dampening the rest of his anger within seconds. “He’s the best person I’ve ever known.”

Across the room, Andi and Amber were watching him with soft, knowing smiles. He’d basically just admitted his feelings for TJ to a room full of people, but he didn’t care. If there was one thing he was definitely proud of, it was loving TJ Kippen.

“Okay,” he said, shaking himself out of his trance. “I guess I’ll go find him then…”

Before he could leave, Sam grabbed his arm and turned him back around, a light blush pinching his cheeks. For a moment, all he did was stare at Cyrus with a slightly-constipated look on his face, and then he cleared his throat and shrugged.

“If you find him, tell him he’s welcome here. If he still wants to be.”

Cyrus smiled. “I’ll do that.”

~~~~~

It was no surprise to find TJ waiting for him on the swings. He was dragging his feet through the woodchips, his elbows hooked around the metal chains, and Cyrus could hear him humming a glum rendition of his infamous swing song. If the circumstances were different, he’d probably find it stupidly adorable.

“Hey,” he said softly, trying not to startle him.

TJ lifted his head and offered him a watery smile. “Hey, Underdog.”

“What are you doing out here?”

“Swinging.”

“I’d hardly call that swinging,” he teased, giving TJ a generous push until his feet finally left the ground. “There you go.”

TJ sniffed. “Thanks.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“TJ…”

“Okay, fine.” He jumped off the swing, kicking up a cloud of woodchips as his feet collided heavily with the earth, and turned to Cyrus. He looked angry, but Cyrus knew it wasn’t directed at him. Or even Sam, for that matter. TJ was angry with himself, as per usual, and it was breaking his heart. “I’m not okay, Cy. I’m the opposite of okay. Those guys in there hate me, and I don’t blame them.”

Cyrus took a seat on his usual swing, gently tugging on TJ’s sleeve until he sat back down beside him. “They don’t hate you,” he said, daring to place a hand on TJ’s bouncing knee. “They hate what you did to them. But that was a long time ago, Teej. And you’re different now.”

“Am I?”

“Of course you are!”

“Nothing but a stupid jock. That’s what they called me. And they’re right, aren’t they? That’s what I am!”

Cyrus rolled his eyes. “You play basketball. That doesn’t make you the Antichrist.”

“It makes me a cliché.”

“What does that even mean?”

“That I’m one of those douchey, one-dimensional guys who picks on other kids for fun!”

“No.” Cyrus took his hand without thinking about it. TJ’s palm was surprisingly soft, and slightly sweaty, and Cyrus couldn’t believe he’d waited this long to see what it felt like. Now that he was holding it, he couldn’t imagine ever letting it go again.

As TJ stared down at their joined hands, new tears sprang to his eyes, rolling down his cheeks in hot, heavy drops that left shiny tracks in their wake.

“I don’t belong in the community,” he whimpered.

Cyrus slotted their fingers together, so their palms were flush. “Don’t say that, Teej. That isn’t true at all.”

“You heard what Sam said. They all think I’m ‘aggressively straight’.”

“Sam was just upset.”

“Maybe he’s right.”

“Do you honestly believe that?”

TJ responded with a shrug. He’d started absently playing with Cyrus’ fingers, slowly tracing the lines that mapped his palms and rubbing circles against the back of his hand, and Cyrus was seriously struggling to focus on anything else. But then he caught sight of a tear dangling from TJ’s chin, and his stomach lurched unpleasantly, like a boat throwing itself against a rocky shore.

“Stop that,” he said, bumping their knees together. “You are a part of the community, TJ.”

“I don’t know…”

“Yes, you do. You told me yourself.”

“Maybe I was wrong.”

At that, Cyrus reached out and cupped his chin, gently turning his face towards him, until his glittering eyes had no choice but to meet his own. Once he was sure he had TJ’s attention, he got to his feet and placed his hands on either side of his face, letting TJ’s tears roll over his fingers and down his wrists.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, his voice wavering slightly.

TJ nodded. “Of course I do.”

“Can I try something?”

“Okay.”

Cyrus dipped his head, until his nose was brushing against TJ’s cheek, then paused, his throat rippling as he adjusted to the limited space between them. “If you want me to stop, just say so.”

“I… I-I don’t want you to stop.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

So he kept going, leaning in until the tips of their noses were squashed together, and Cyrus could feel TJ’s warm breath fanning against his mouth, the faint smell of chocolate chocolate chip muffins making him smile. It only got better when their lips finally touched. He hadn’t realised it was possible to smile so wide, or feel so dizzily happy without keeling over. If holding TJ’s hand had been a blessing, then this was a wonder. A miracle. And as soon as they pulled apart, he wished they could do it all over again.

“How was that?” he asked, a little breathlessly.

TJ blinked at him slowly, a dopey smile spreading across his face. “Amazing,” he breathed.

Cyrus blushed. “There you go then.”

“Huh?”

“You’re a part of the community,” he clarified, quirking an eyebrow as TJ stared at him in blissed-out confusion. “Not that you had to prove yourself to anyone.”

“Wait… What are you saying?”

“That I’m insanely in love with you,” he said simply. “And judging by that kiss, I think you feel the same way.”

TJ gawped at him, his mouth hanging open. Even now, when he looked like a fish sucking on bubbles, Cyrus swore he was the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid his eyes on. And if it were up to him, he’d happily spend the rest of his life proving to TJ just how much he belonged, and why.

“So,” TJ said, still gaping at Cyrus with a mixture of shock and awe, “that wasn’t just to prove a point?”

“What do you think?”

“I…”

“You want me to show you again?”

TJ gulped. “Yes, please.”

When they kissed for a second time, it was even better. Without urgency or fear getting in the way, Cyrus was able to appreciate the soft curve of TJ’s smile against his cheek, and the tickling thud of his heart against his chest. Even after they parted, Cyrus could still feel it buzzing beneath his skin, and all it took was one glance at TJ’s giddy, uncontrollable grin to confirm what Cyrus had already hoped was true.

“You feel it,” he said. It wasn’t a question.

TJ laughed. “Yeah, I feel it.”

“Are you ready to go back now?”

“Um…”

“We don’t have to.”

“No.” TJ reached for his hand and held it against his chest. “No, I… I wanna go back. As long as you’re there with me.”

Cyrus squeezed his hand and smiled. “Of course I’ll be there.”

~~~~~

When they returned to the group, there were no more looks of disdain or mistrust directed at TJ. They wove their way through the circle of chairs and took a seat next to Andi and Amber, proudly displaying their joined hands for everyone to see. And when Sam silently handed TJ a small, black badge with a rainbow-coloured heart in the centre, he took it with a smile and clipped it to his bag without hesitation.

To anyone else, it might’ve seemed like a simple gesture, but Cyrus knew the truth: for the first time in his life, TJ felt like he truly belonged, and that was something really special.

THE END

[timeisacephalopod]

Together

Have a cute little TonyRhdoey AU in which I have no idea what’s happening but its cute so who cares! Also, some minor SamSteve.

Natasha walks up to Rhodey looking determined. “How’d you know Tony was the one for you?” she asks, surprising him with her question. That’s not the kind of thing he’d expect out of Natasha on account of her not dating anyone at the moment. Or ever, if Rhodey’s memory is serving him well these days. Which it is. Natasha raises an eyebrow after a few moments of him not answering and he sighs.

“When we were in college my mom died. By that time my dad had already passed and I was pretty devastated about it. Anyway, I knew I had a bunch of things to do but I put it off for the day because at that moment I just couldn’t handle it. When I woke up the next day Tony had already sorted everything out for me and mostly just told me what I needed to do.” Rhodey functioned for weeks like that, with Tony telling him what he needed to do that day and he’d float through it with Tony at his side making sure he got everything done. Tony says it took him longer than a few weeks to come back to himself, but Rhodey remembers taking some control back around the month mark.

Either way Tony taking the stress of his mother’s funeral, her will, all the other business that comes with a dead relative- Rhodey can’t repay him for that. Especially since he’d still been dealing with his own parents unexpected deaths, and then there was everything that came after that. Tony’s help was invaluable, and Rhodey needed that time. Its probably one of the first times Rhodey had actually gone out of his way to lean on Tony too. Before that Rhodey was the older one, the more mature one, the one who knew more about how to move around in the world. Tony had been following him around and then suddenly the roles were reversed and Tony did more than his fair share to pull his weight.

That pretty much sums up their relationship too. Tony has always needed more work than him given his generally volatile state of emotions, impulsive nature, and guilt over every single thing he's ever done wrong. Rhodey is more pragmatic, practical. He doesn’t need as much of Tony’s support as Tony does with him. But occasionally Rhodey gets himself into a jam, of something happens, and he needs that extra help and Tony is always there, always doing more than he needs to until Rhodey is better able to handle whatever it is by himself.

Natasha doesn’t look impressed with his answer and he frowns, unsure how the hell that managed to not be satisfactory until she speaks. “I was hoping for something simpler than that. You know. Like Tony’s super cute and he’s the best, not like...” she trails off, searching for the right words.

“An actual emotional connection?” he suggests and she nods.

“Exactly!”

Rhodey rolls his eyes at her.

*

Tony is attempting to upgrade a piece of Rhodey’s suit when Natasha walks in. “Hey,” she says, shoving a bunch of his tools aside to sit on his desk. “What made you realize Rhodey was the one for you?” she asks.

He gives his tools a forlorn look for a moment and sighs. “He’s a good lay,” he says and Natasha blinks, baffled.

“That’s it?” she asks. He shrugs, letting her believe that’s his real answer. Its not, but Tony doesn’t know how to explain that he’s always known Rhodey was the person he was going to end up with. As soon as they met it was like Rhodey came with a built in ‘how to deal with Tony Stark’ handbook and Tony knows he’s a lot but Rhodey has never complained, never made him feel like he’s too much to handle. No one else has ever made him feel like that, like he’s normal. Its a hard sell when he grew up a famous child genius but Rhodey always makes him feel more grounded and he needs that.

“You need anything else?” he asks, eyes flicking up from his design for a moment. Rhodey made a few suggestions and drew out some schematics for him that he’s been working off of. He’d had to tweak a few things here and there but Rhodey’s getting better at designing suit parts. At first he’d been a bit lost but he’s not surprised that to date only Rhodey has caught up with him technologically. If he weren’t a colonel he’d make one hell of an inventor.

Then there’s Shuri but honestly its not fair to put someone so ahead in the same competition as him and Rhodey. She’s her own class of intelligent. So’s T’Challa, but Tony at least understands what he says when he talks and he’s not as good as his sister either.

“No I don’t need anything else, you’re useless,” Natasha tells him, stomping off to go pout elsewhere.

He goes back to working, not paying much attention to the time until he feels a hand settle on his shoulder. “You’ve been at that all day. Come to bed,” Rhodey says to him and Tony sighs, straightening his back and wincing as it cracks. Sounds painful but its a relief once he gets past the cracking noises.

“Nat ask you any weird shit today?” he asks, looking up at him.

Rhodey frowns, “how I knew you were the one for me, why? She ask you the same thing?” Tony nods and Rhodey grins, “what’d you say?”

“That you’re a good lay,” he says and Rhodey snorts and starts laughing.

“Bullshit, Stark. Okay, not total bullshit, that’s true technically but that’s not your real reason. I know you like that I make you feel normal, like you’re not a celebrity or a genius. The genius thing is because I am too though- can’t hold a conversation with you about tech and make it seem like you’re not insanely smart without also being insanely smart.”

Yeah, so Tony knows but its nice nonetheless. “I know baby, but she doesn’t need to know that.”

*

Natasha glares at Sam and Steve because these dumb fucks keep circling each other like vultures looking for a fuck instead of communicating. And she’s asked everyone she knows that’s in a relationship how they knew the other was a good match and not a single one gave a decent answer. Though even Clint’s ‘she makes good grilled cheese’ isn’t worse than Tony’s ‘he’s a good lay.’ She honestly can’t believe she’s been forced to give Clint credit.

“You two should date,” she tells them, leaning forward in interest.

Steve and Sam pause and frown, exchanging a look with each other. “What kind of super spy is she if she doesn’t even know we’re married?” Sam asks Steve, who sighs.

“She’s not so good at detecting romance. I think that’s why she hasn’t noticed that Pepper has been hitting on her for months.”

Natasha sits straight up because what? “When did this happen? You two stop with those faces I could have had Pepper Potts in my bed and I didn’t even notice? You know what, I hate the Red Room for a lot of reasons but the way they destroyed my ability to notice normal sexual and romantic interactions that aren’t just to get something really pisses me off these days. Excuse me,” she says, sliding off the stool so she can go deal with the Pepper situation.

Fucking Tony should have known about this and she’s not likely to forgive him anytime soon because she knows he didn’t say anything to entertain himself. Steve? Who knows what his motivation for his silence was but she’s not going to forgive him anytime soon either.

[a-howl-at-that-moon]

On My Own

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Words: 1717

Warnings: a bit of angst, a bit of fluff

Summary: loosely based on the song “On My Own” by Ashes Remain; Dean carries the Mark of Cain around and doesn’t know how to ask for help. Sometimes, all it takes is a little help, to ask for help.

Note: English isn’t my first language!

“I can’t wait to take a shower and go to bed.” “Yeah, tell me about it”, Sam said as you climbed out of the Impala. You had been hunting a vampire in Missouri; the vampire turned out to be part of a big nasty nest. You sliced each and every single one of them. You were exhausted. Sam took your duffel bag and his from the trunk. “Dean?”, you asked as you noticed he hadn’t move from the driver seat. “You coming?” “Gotta park Baby”, he mumbled. He didn’t wait for your answer and turned the engine on. You felt a hand on your shoulder as the car moved further. “Come on, Y/N.” You sighed, giving in, though everything was screaming to you to go shake Dean up. You both headed to the bunker. Sam unlocked the door and you found yourself relieved when you entered the place you’ve been calling your home for a long time now. “You were great, by the way.” “Mmh?”, you said, not really listening. Sam put his bag on the floor and sat on a chair, throwing his long legs on the oak table. “Back there. You did a great job.” “Well I’ve learned from the best”, you smiled at him. Sam chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. “Thanks. But this isn’t what I meant though.” “I know what you meant and I really am too tired to talk about this now Sam.” “Okay then. But we’ll have to.” You nodded. Of course you knew that. “Night Sam”, you said, walking past him. “Night.” You went to your room, tossed your bag aside and fell on your bed. Sleep caught up with you before you had a chance to get back up. You woke up with a headache as if you’d been drinking the night before. After you took a cool shower, you went to the kitchen to make some coffee before you realised someone already had. A hot cup in your hands, you went to the library. Sam and Castiel were here. Dean wasn’t. “Morning sleepy head.” “Sam”, you said with a light smile. “Hey Cas.” “Hello Y/N.” You sat in front of them. “What are you two doing?” “I told Cas about what happened during the hunt.” The hunt had leaded you to an old abandoned factory. You didn’t know how many vampires were hidden in here, so you decided to split up. Sam and you both wanted to keep an eye on Dean; you told Sam to go with his brother and you went to the back of the factory alone. “And?”, you sighed. “Dean’s behaviour is too dangerous, Y/N”, Castiel said softly. Everything was quiet on the ground floor of the factory, so you managed to find the stairs and went to the first floor. Dean was here, fighting a couple of vampires. Your heart skipped a beat when you realised Sam wasn’t next to his brother. They were supposed to stay together. You remembered when Sam screamed your name; his voice came from the ground floor. Running downstairs, you found him, defenceless, without any backup, trying to escape a vampire. “It ended well.” You were the one who ran in front of Sam to kill the monster. “Yes. But we can’t keep burying our heads in the sand. Dean isn’t okay.” “Do you think I’m not aware of this?” “I know you are”, Castiel replied. “But what happened wasn’t supposed to happen. He literally left me alone”, Sam added. “I know. Sorry”, you breathed as you ran your hands through your hair. “I’m just on edge.” Silence filled the space between the three of you. You were watching each other. Then you asked the question you were all thinking about. “What are we gonna do?” “I have no idea.” “We don’t even know if Dean wants to fight the Mark. He keeps telling us he wants to take care of it himself.” “So what, we are supposed to listen to him?” “I’ve never said that, Y/N.” “We have to help him!” “I know. He’s my brother, remember? There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him. But if he doesn’t want our help, we won’t make him just accept it. You know that too.” “No. He will.” Rising on your feet, you left the library. It was like your brain was off and your body was walking around the bunker by itself; you ended up in front of Dean’s door. You knocked. “Come in.” “Hi.” “Y/N? What are ya doin’ here?” Dean was sitting at the edge of his bed, a book between his hands. You cleared your throat. Your hand was still holding the doorknob; you were pretty sure that your cheeks had turned into a dark shade of red. “I don’t know. No, I mean, I know why I’m here, I…” “Alright, take it easy”, he chuckled. “Can I talk to you?” “Sure thing.” You smiled, closed the door behind you and sat on the bed next to him. “I don’t know how to start.” “Well, just start”, he said, smiling softly at you. “You don’t have to feel uncomfortable with me.” “I don’t. But it’s not that easy.” “What’s on your mind?” “You, actually.” You turned around to face him and caught a inquisitive look on his face, almost a smirk. “You’re gonna have to be more precise, sweetheart.” “The Mark. I meant the Mark.” The light smile on Dean’s lips disappeared; you literally saw him lock himself up. He rubbed his forearm. “What about it?” “How do you feel?” “You keep asking me this everyday, Y/N”, he sighed. “Because you never answer.” “I said I was fine.” You sighed too. You thought about giving up and going out of his room, you thought about leaving him alone like he obviously wanted to be. You thought about it, but you couldn’t give up on Dean Winchester; you’d never forgive yourself. You had to keep trying. “You don’t have to face it alone Dean.” “Of course I have to. It’s my burden.” You almost rolled your eyes at how stubborn he was. “No it’s not. I mean, yes, you carry the Mark”, you added awkwardly, “but we are here to help.” “And what help have you brought so far?”, he snapped. You struggled to hold back what you wanted to say but your mouth spoke faster than your brain. “You say people always end up leaving you but maybe…” “What? Come on, say it.” You took a deep breath. Dean was looking at you like he knew what you were going to say. “Maybe, you are pushing people away.” “Because I want to keep you safe.” “Dean, you can’t protect us…” “Well tell me this then: how helpful have you been since all this crap began?”, he repeated. He threw the book next to him on the floor and stood up, showing you his back as he ran his hands through his hair. You stood up yourself and stayed quiet for a moment because you wanted to find the right words and God knew you weren’t good when it came to emotional and supportive speeches. Dean even turned around to face you like he was waiting for something. “Right… maybe… maybe Sam and Cas and I aren’t helpful yet. But you can’t push us away. You can’t push me away.” Dean chuckled like he just heard some kind of joke, though you saw the sudden sadness on his face. “I won’t let you”, you added. “I’m going to stay here, no matter what you say or do, and I’m going to be as helpful as I can. Even if it means spending the whole night reading boring books to get squat in the morning. I’m not going anywhere.” Dean blinked several times, frowned, blinked again. It seemed he didn’t know whether to believe you or not. “Really?“, he asked. You nodded. “I don’t know how to do this”, he whispered. You picked up the book from the floor and put it on his bed. You didn’t want Dean to see the tears in your eyes because he had finally let you in so you grabbed it again to finally put it on a furniture. Then you looked at him. “I don’t either”, you breathed. “You don’t have a plan?”, he asked, his eyebrows raised but a tiny smile on his lips. “Working on it”, you smiled sadly. “Y/N, I…” “Yes?” Clearing his throat, he rubbed the back of his neck and came closer to you. “Thank you.” “Easy there, you still got this shit on your arm.” He laughed slowly; you hadn’t heard him laugh in what felt like ages. His eyes crinkled and it warmed your heart. “Yeah, but uh… I know how stubborn I can be, and I needed to hear what you said. I was never meant to fight on my own.” “You won’t have to. You got a hell of a team on your side.” He pulled you against him and wrapped his arms around your waist before you finished what you were saying. You hugged him back gently. “I’m sorry, by the way.” “About?” “I’ve been a crappy boyfriend all this time.” “Yeah, tell me about it”, you said softly as you pulled away. You put your hand on his cheek and he leaned on your touch, kissing your palm. “I’m glad you stayed.” “I know.” He smiled, leaned over and pecked your lips. “I love you.” Your heart raced when you heard the three words. He had never said that. You knew he wouldn’t say that again in a probably long time, so you just enjoyed the way he said he loved you and recorded it in your head. “Love you too”, you smiled. For a few seconds, Dean wasn’t carrying the bloody Mark of Cain and you weren’t trying to find a way to get rid of it. For a few seconds, you forgot everything about the hunting life. For a few seconds, it was just Dean and you. “How about we go find Sammy and Cas to set up a plan?” Shaking your head, you came down from your personal paradise to Earth. You nodded. Dean kissed you one last time, grabbed your hand and you both got out of the room. Back to reality.

[lightyagamiis]

kissing booth - twelve

Pairing: reader x tom holland Genre: some fluff and maybe some future smut. kissing booth au Warnings: none Word Count: 2.3K *inspired by the netflix film kissing booth but with my own twists*

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All you could do was stare into the eyes of your scared boyfriend, the voice of Sam repeating in your brain as you saw him stand in your doorway, arms crossed, and fist tightly packed.

"Is someone going to answer me?!" Sam shouted.

"What are you doing back here early?" Tom asked.

"I was worried about Y/N, and decided to come to take care of her, now what the fuck are you doing?" Sam shouted.

"Sam, listen to me," Tom said finally looking at his younger brother, "it's not exactly what you think."

"Then what is it then?" Sam scoffed, "if it's not the sight of you making out with my sick best friend then what exactly was I looking at Thomas?"

Tom went quiet, looking down at the floor. He knew you and himself was packed into a corner and there was no way to get away from it.

"How long as this been going on?" Sam asked, voice shaking and obviously filled with hurt.

"Since—"

"No Tom do not answer!" Sam snapped, "I want Y/N to answer this time."

You sat up in your bed, the look of worry shot your way from Tom as he wanted to move towards you, to help you sit up, he knew the pain you were in from being sick, but he also knew any step close to you would send Sam angrier than what he was in that moment.

"Basically since the school fair." You answered truthfully.

It wasn't wrong, yeah the two of you didn't start dating at that point, but the sparks were flying and the feelings were out in the open.

Sam glanced away from you and Tom, "so you lied to me back then."

Tom shook his head, slowly walking closer to his brother, "Sam, it wasn't a lie," Tom took a deep breath, "we weren't going to continue it, we were going to fight the feelings we had and not go through with the relationship."

"We didn't want to hurt you, Sam," you sat up more in your bed, facing him, "I couldn't hurt you like that."

"Then how did this continue then huh?" by this point Sam looked more hurt than angry. It was written all over his face clear as day. You betrayed him, his feelings and his trust.

"Because I'm in love with her, Sam." Tom blurted out.

His words not only took Sam by surprise but also you. It's one thing to know Tom loved you, but he was IN love with you.

Sam glances between you and his older brother, "what?"

"I am in love with her, Sam. I've been in love with her for as long as I can remember. I've held back because of your stupid rules."

Sam raised his eyebrows, "stupid rules? we had those rules for a reason!"

"So did Harry and Em!" Tom snapped, "and they broke their rules because they wanted to be together. how is it any different with Y/N and myself?"

"They agreed to end the rules," you softly whispered, warning the glances of both Tom and Sam, "Sam and I haven't voided our rules."

Tom glances back down at the floor and Sam crossed his arms, "she's right, we didn't void any of our rules, which means the biggest one we had you broke without giving a damn about the consequences."

Without another word, Sam turned walking down the hallway.

"Sam!" you shouted, quickly crawling out of your bed.

"Y/N what the hell are you doing, you shouldn't be moving!" Tom reached for you.

"Leave me alone Thomas," you snapped pushing him away from you, "I told you we couldn't and shouldn't have done this! Sam was going to find out the hard way and we should have been more honest with not only ourselves but also Sam."

Your words hurt Tom more than anything his brother could ever say towards him.

"Y/N..."

"No Thomas just go, please."

And with that you rushed out of your room, leaving Tom standing there alone.

You were barely able to catch up with Sam, seeing him storm out your front door.

"Sam!"

He ignored you, of course, he would ignore you. You broke the biggest rule you both agreed and pinky promised on all those years ago. He probably hated you.

You finally caught up to him in the front yard, "Sam please!"

"What Y/N? what is the point of me waiting to hear what you've got to say?"

"Because I did not mean for this to happen! And neither did Tom, so please if you're going to be mad at anyone be mad at me! please!"

"I'm mad at you both, Tom knew our rules, knew how I felt about him running his way into your life, he knew and still went behind my back against our rules and what I wanted."

"And I knew the rules too, and I still broke it...I am so so sorry..."

Sam just stared at you at your PJs in the cool summer air that was sending chills down your spine. Really why couldn't all of this happen AFTER you got done being sick?

"I did not want to hurt you, I didn't want any of this to happen, I wanted to tell you so bad because I felt like complete shit keeping this from you, and I didn't want to keep anything from you...Sam, you're my best friend," by this point the tears were streaming down your face and your cries sounded like a broken record, "I never meant for any of this to hurt you."

You rubbed your hands over your arms to try and at least warm yourself up, waiting for Sam to say anything about the situation.

Sam's heartfelt broken into pieces, not only because of this situation but at seeing you sick and standing in this cool weather.

Sam put his defenses down and wrapped you in his arms.

That only made you cry more, to feel the warmth of your best friend embracing you even after practically ripping his heart from his chest and stepping on it.

"I forgive you," Sam whispered, "you're my best friend and the thought of losing you kills me, I won't forget what you've done, but I'll forgive you."

You tightened your arms around him, feeling thankful that he doesn't hate you when he really should. He should hate what you did and completely hate you.

"Let's go inside okay? I'll make you some soup or something."

"ugh," you groaned, "I've had soup literally the past couple days and all night."

"Well, if it's anything my brother did right this whole time, it was taking care of you," Sam looked away from you for a brief second, collecting his thoughts, "come on, let's get you a warm blanket also."

You sat on the Holland's couch, bundled up in what felt like a thousand blankets. Sam stood in the kitchen preparing your soup.

The house that was always filled with so much laughter and joy and noisy were officially quiet and awkward.

You stared off at the pictures on the walls, looking at how happy everyone seemed to be. Seeing the pictures of everyone as children, playing around in the snow in the winter or at the beach in the summer. It was really like the Holland and Y L/N family was just one big family put together. But now, you ruined that. Things between Sam and yourself wouldn't ever be like how it was, and the same goes towards you and Tom. You wouldn't have the friendship anymore, that new love you found in him. It was all gone now.

The rug got pulled from beneath you, and now you're laying on your back wondering how the hell you even got yourself into this situation.

Sam returned to you with a cup in hand, "here, I made sure to add extra noodles in it just like you like it."

You took the cup from him, thanking him a billion times before taking a big sip of it.

"I'm sorry again, Sam," you whispered, "I didn't want any of this to happen.

Sam places his hand on your forehead, "let's not talk about that anymore, okay? I forgive you for it, I can tell by the look in your eyes you didn't want any of this to happen, now all I want is for us to just go back to being our normal selves, that is after your sickness goes away."

You both laughed at that, it felt good to laugh with Sam. it always felt good to laugh with him. That's one thing you're glad wasn't going to change.

"Are you going to forgive Tom?"

Sam stared blankly at you, taking a deep breath in and out, shaking his head.

"I don't know, to be honest," he sighed as he sat down beside you, "it's hard to say if I could forgive him. I think I'm mostly mad at myself for not seeing all this."

You tilted your head to the side, "what do you mean?"

"I mean that I've always known how you two felt for each other," Sam's words took you by surprise, "I could see the way he looked at you, and how you looked at him. it was obvious, but I guess everyone knew but the two of you. I felt bad for having that rule, Y/N. But I've seen the way girls look at Tom, and how he's looked at them. How he has been with his past girlfriends, I didn't want to risk you getting hurt, so I always made sure that rule stayed into place."

"Sam, you know he would never hurt me, right?"

Sam nodded, "I know, Y/N, I know...I just like I said, wouldn't risk that. I didn't want to chance it and you get hurt."

You stared deeply into Sam's eyes, seeing the truth and hurt behind the small smile he forced out.

"After Harry and Em started dating and when I met Lilly, I felt even more like shit," he sighed, dropping his head into his palm, "We all had the person we wanted to be with but you. I wanted to grow up and give up our rules, but again I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was more for my selfish acts instead and I apologize for that...I kept you away from being with Tom, and now because of our rules I ruined everything."

"Sam, no do not go there," you sat up, fully facing him now, "look at me, none of this is your fault, okay? I'm the one who decided to keep this such a big secret from you, maybe if Tom and I went about this differently then this wouldn't have happened, so do not blame yourself."

"I still don't want you with him, but it's more than just for my personal reasons."

"Sam, what aren't you telling me?"

Sam stared off at the floor, tucking his lip between his teeth.

"Sam tell me what is going o—"

"Tom is moving out of London."

If your heart wasn't already broken, it was completely shattered now.

"When is he moving?"

"Next month...at the end of the summer break."

"Why?"

"It was a chance he couldn't miss out on. He has so many movies to do and they line up way too close together, so he and Harrison decided to move to America."

You sink back into the couch, feeling the tears swell up in your eyes once again.

"How long has everyone known?"

"Since Tom has been back, Harrison told me to not mention anything to you yet, I thought that was very weird for him to stay, but I guess after everything that happened tonight, I know why now. And by your expression, it tells me Tom didn't tell you."

You shook your head, "he definitely didn't tell me anything."

The quiet house silence broke by the sound of Tom walking through the front door, your heart raced and your eyes refused to look his direction.

Tom knew you probably didn't want to see him, and he was sure you now knew about him moving, but the look on your face, and the death glare that was coming from Sam, it was obvious you officially knew.

Tom wanted to speak to you, wanted to apologize to you and Sam, but he knew his presence wasn't wanted.

He slowly made his way up the stairs and to his room, grabbing his backpack and throwing any clothes he's brought from the apartment into it.

"Why didn't you tell her?" Sam appeared beside Tom.

"Because, for one, I didn't think her and I were going to be something when I came home."

"Give me an actual reason, Haz forced me to keep it a secret from her, so give me the actual reason why you didn't tell her."

Tom slammed his fist in his bed, "because I couldn't hurt her! I was going to tell her, but the longer time I spent with her and the more I fell in love the more I didn't want to leave, the more I couldn't bring myself to tell her, I knew how she would react, and I would have lost her."

Sam crosses his arms and leaned against the wall, "well congratulations Thomas, you lost her anyways."

Tom closed his eyes tightly, trying to keep any tear from coming out. And when he opened his eyes, Sam was gone.

And so were you, not just gone from his house and now back into your own home, but from his life. Tom messes up big time, not only did he keep his relationship with you a secret from his brother and hurt him, but you found out the secret Tom held so close and it broke you.

The world was against him and the stars were no longer aligned.

Maybe this was for the best after all.

[hannah-deserved-better]

Emotions are dangerous temptations

So this is one of the very first Supernatural fics I ever wrote. I recently came across it and decided to try to finish it. Although I am a hardcore Hanstiel shipper and I don't really ship anyone that gets between that ship, I wanted to step outside my comfort zone for one fic only because I wanted to illustrate how Castiel views love, whether it's romantic or friendship. Castiel has a lot of love to give and this is about his devotion to those he loves. Note that I am not a Destiel shipper so that will not be a part of this fic, although there will be plenty of Dean friendship with everyone.

Castiel and Sam bond while being caretakers for those they love. Castiel is caring for an ailing Hannah and Sam is caring for Dean and the two are later joined by someone they thought was lost forever. As Castiel falls in love for the first time, he soon realizes that he's not just falling in love with one person.

Chapter One

Castiel lay in the dirt where he had fallen, listening to the cries of pain from inside. He squirmed and struggled, using every bit of his strength to try to get up, but he could hardly lift his head. His eyelids felt heavy, every muscle ached. His borrowed grace had been spent, and Adina's beating had sapped what little strength remained. He was dying.

If it were just his life, he wouldn't be so determined. After all, as he told Metatron, he'd made peace with his fate, whatever it might be. He regretted taking another angel's grace to save himself, and now he was paying the price, perhaps he deserved it. After all, it was his grace in Metatron's hands that caused the fall. He didn't know how he could ever forgive himself for what he'd done, what he'd allowed to happen. It seemed no matter how much he tried to help, angels suffered, and perhaps his death would be the last gift he could give them.

But his life wasn't the only one at stake here. Dean, Sam, Hannah. They all needed him right now. Hannah's screams of pain from inside the convenience store reminded him of that. Adina was hurting her. She was taking revenge for what Castiel had done to Daniel. It was yet another thing Castiel had done to his fellow angels. He really couldn't blame Adina for wanting him dead, but he couldn't let her continue to torture Hannah.

"Hannah…" he groaned as another scream came from the store. Then another. Then a louder, more pain-filled cry made Castiel squirm on the ground all the more. Whatever Adina was doing, Hannah was hurting. Castiel couldn't allow it to continue. Would his last moments of life be spent laying here listening to Hannah die in agony?

It was then that Castiel heard the crunch of grass as someone approached. He was surprised with Crowley appeared in his field of vision, peering down at him.

"Hey, Champ," Crowley mused as he looked down at the pitiful sight before him. "Look at you. Talk about roadkill." Castiel groaned as he watched Crowley stride casually into the convenience store, angel blade in hand. Hope surged through him as he watched the demon disappear inside.

Moments later, there was a muffled cry from inside, and Crowley reappeared at the door. He hurried to Castiel's side and pulled the angel up into his arms, almost tenderly. As if he was cradling a dying comrade. He produced the vial of angel grace. Castiel shook his head. He'd not benefit from another angel's death, he refused.

"Yes, it's hers, but she was killing your girlfriend," Crowley assured him, putting the vial to the angel's lips. "Your hands are clean." Castiel finally absorbed the grace, and as it coursed through him, he felt stronger.

Crowley moved back as Castiel healed and got to his feet. A temporary fix, he knew, but for now, he could help Hannah, he could save Dean. He looked at Crowley. He owed his and Hannah's life to the king of hell. He'd never seen that coming.

"You owe me," he said, among other things before disappearing. Castiel turned his attention to the convenience store. Hannah was still inside. Quickly, he dashed to the doorway and surveyed the scene. The little store was destroyed, shelves had been ruined, candy and food littered the ground.

"Hannah?" he called, looking frantically for her. The sound of labored breathing brought him further into the store. He found Adina's crumpled form in front of the cashier counter, the shadow of her broken wings spread out on the floor. He sighed. Another angel was dead — one who had hostile intentions towards them, but still an angel.

"Castiel," came Hannah's pain, hitched voice. She finally came into view from around a fallen shelf. The sight of her alive and standing filled him with relief… that is until he saw her pale complexion as she stumbled to him. He surveyed the wounds on her face and neck, the cuts and wounds on her arms and legs. He moved towards her, holding a hand out to heal her… and as his eyes fell on her torso, he paled. An angel blade was impaled in her side, and the blue glow of angel grace leaked out alongside blood. As he looked closer, there seemed to be a strange green glow illuminating the wound, some kind of substance he didn't recognize.

Hannah promptly collapsed, falling forward, and Castiel caught her in his arms. She groaned softly, pain etched in her face.

Panic and fear gripped Castiel as he tried to remain calm. He lowered her onto the ground. "I need to look," he warned her. She only nodded, whimpering in pain. "She said nothing could cure it," Hannah breathed through gritted teeth. "Castiel, you must leave me… after all, you have other priorities."

Castiel winced at that, remembering his own words, warning her of emotions, feelings, and how they could be distractions. And now his own emotions and feelings were doing just that. "I know," he said. "I know what I said, but… I'm not going to leave you here. Now tell me what did Adina say to you? What can't be cured?"

"Poison," Hannah gulped as Castiel pulled the bottom of her blouse up around the blade so he could see the wound better. "She said… it was poisoned…"

"Your grace…" Castiel murmured as he saw the blue essence leaking from the wound. The blade remained impaled deep in her body, and blood oozed out around it. "I'm no doctor I don't know how to treat your vessel… but your grace is diminishing… this blade must come out, but I don't think it would be a good idea to do it here."

Thinking quickly, Castiel grabbed a rag from the shelf and wrapped it around the wound, pressing hard. He took her hand and placed it over the cloth. "Hold it tight," he said. "It won't stop the bleeding, but it will contain your grace." Hannah nodded. The pitiful whimpering she uttered froze Castiel's very soul. The crippling pain was evident in her pretty blue eyes as she gazed up at him.

Any human would be in a great deal of pain from this kind of terrible wound. But an angel being pierced with an angel blade, even just a scrape, caused immense suffering to the very core of an angel's being. Angels were hard to kill, but they could feel pain, feel it at a molecular level, in a more profound way than humans could.

As Castiel carefully gathered Hannah into his arms, her body trembled with pain. He held her as gently as he could as he carried her out of the store and to his car. "Hold on, Hannah," he implored urgently as he pulled the passenger door opened and lay her down in the seat. She only responded with a yelp as the movement, as careful as he was trying to be, jarred her wound.

As Castiel positioned her in the seat and tried to make her more comfortable, he gently brushed a finger against her cheek and moved her face to look at him. Her eyes, wide with pain, searched his.

"I don't understand," she breathed, confusion in her eyes. "Castiel… you are willing to die for your causes… you'd rather die than go to Metatron or to use another angel's grace. You said your priorities are to hunting the rogues and helping the Winchesters. Yet… your actions and your words aren't the same. Why not leave me?"

Castiel hesitated. He didn't have a good answer to that. The logical angel in him perhaps would have left Hannah in the store if he thought she was beyond saving. He would have put her out of her misery at the very least. But the Castiel who felt things, who had grown to love Sam and Dean like brothers, who had learned what friendship truly meant, who had learned about compassion and loyalty and love, did not want Hannah to die. The last few days spent with her hunting the rogues through his own ailment, seeing her learn about humanity through him and his own actions, it stirred something within him.

"I've reassessed my priorities," he finally told her. "I'm going to save you."

"Why?" she prompted.

"Because you are my friend," Castiel explained. "And if there is anything that the Winchesters have shown me, it's that friendship and family come before all other priorities. Even heaven's. So hold on, Hannah…" She only nodded, and he quickly closed the door and hurried around to the driver's seat, slamming on the gas as soon as he was able to.

Castiel drove with determination and urgency. Not only for Hannah's sake but for Sam and Dean's. Dean was a demon; if Sam weren't able to cure him, they'd have to… Castiel winced. No, they had to be successful. Castiel refused to entertain the possibility that Dean was going to die too. He could lose Hannah; he could lose Dean, perhaps Sam also. His friends, his family. He couldn't let that happen.

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

From the Beginning Exclusive!

This is an exclusive for the rewritten and soon to be posted Danny Phantom story “From the Beginning.” This is a sneak peak as to what FtB is going to be all about. You can even think of it like a trailer. Not everything is chronological and these paragraphs might not make it into the final copy, but it tells the heart of the story!

From the Beginning’s first chapter will be released on July 6th! Pledge to me on Patreon Buy me a coffee at Ko-Fi

—

Summary:  Danny Fenton was a simple, sixteen-year-old teenager who loved fast food, video games, and getting a B on surprise pop quizzes. He’s also the half-ghost teenage hero Danny Phantom who defends Amity Park from ghost attacks on a daily basis. Somehow, the ghost attacks make a lot more sense than crushes, friendships, and falling in love with someone he is definitely not supposed to be falling in love with. It was a lot easier to separate Phantom and Fenton before, but now it’s getting a harder the more he learns about himself. Just who was he? The dorky son of scientists who loved the stars or the hero that protected the town. He’s starting to feel like he won’t like the answer. (Iambic Prose) (Prequel to Guardians and Partial Show Rewrite)

—

“Hello? Anyone here?” Danny shifted outside the massive library, hesitantly knocking on the doors and oh. Okay. That happened, then. Right. Doors swinging open without anyone there. That was his life, wasn’t it? “Great. I’m trapped in a horror movie and it’s not even a good one.”

Pushing his way in, Danny swallowed at the silence and the thousands of books that he could see even from the front doors. “Hey, uh, Ghostwriter dude? Your doors kind of opened and I came here to, um, visit?”

~

“Huh.” Danny crouched down, tilting his head at one of the broken murals. While the other murals at Pariah’s Keep had been beautifully painted across the walls and held strong even now, this one was shattered on the floor. “I wonder what you meant.”

There had been one with ten cloaked figures crowning Pariah as king, but then the next few had shown Pariah’s fall and his subsequent imprisonment. Danny half wondered who had drawn the murals, but he was willing to chalk it up to it being a ghost thing. Reaching a hand out, Danny brushed his fingers against the mural he was currently inspecting.

While there were ten figures, they weren’t the shapeless cloaked figures from the other murals. These ten all had varying sizes and heights, but it was broken in the way that only one figure was separated from the rest. Danny wondered if these were the original Ancients. He never heard much about them, and he was pretty sure ‘the Ancients’ was just the Observants in disguise, but these ghosts definitely didn’t look like Observants.

Shifting his balance, Danny almost tumbled forward before he caught himself, both hands now braced against the cracked mural-

Golden eyes that shone like molten gold and death and hate and loss and pain and how dare they how dare they how dare they when it had been him to bring them all together and if they wanted to suffer than he would show them and he would make them see him he would make sure they never forgot again-

Grunting as he hit the floor on his back, Danny stared up at the ceiling and only absently realized he was gasping for breath and what… What had that been?

~

“Recent? Recent- It’s always been like this! You’ve always been so damn prideful and full of yourself and it’s gotten worse ever since you became ‘Phantom.’ You think you’re above everything!”

“Above- You have no idea what I go through! I’m trying to be ‘in charge’ because I, at least, know about all these damn ghost things-”

“And I don’t?! I’ve been right here this entire time and learning it all the same time as you! I’ve been here the whole time and you don’t even see me! I’m nothing but the tech guy to you!”

“At least you know what you are! I don’t even know if I’m alive anymore some days-!” Danny’s voice died in his throat as he saw the shot that was speeding towards them and while it might  hurt ghosts, this was a shot that could kill humans and no-

~

“The blame seems to lie in both parties this time around, so why not agree to forgive and forget on both sides?”

“Jeez, does everything you say sound like it’s from some kind of Hallmark card?” Laughter bubbling out at the annoyed look he was given, Danny shook his head and forgive and forget, huh? Not bad, but… “Hey, Ghostwriter, what about something else, instead?”

“Oh, please. ‘Something else’ typically means a battle royale and I’m uncertain about you, but I prefer to solve disputes these days by-” Ghostwriter’s mouth closed with a snap, Danny’s grin growing wider as he continued to hold out his hand.

“Hi, there. My name is Danny and I’m a half-ghost idiot with a saving people thing. I hate Christmas, I love my friends, and it’s nice to meet you.” The long silence was worth it when the ghost finally clasped his hand, genuine smile on his face.

“Hello, Danny. My name is Ghostwriter and I’m obsessive over my books and tend to talk to myself outloud. It’s nice to meet you, as well.”

~

“You don’t understand- I wasn’t even a ghost.” Danielle, the little girl that had pretended to be his cousin the last week, looked up at him as if begging him to understand. Danny found it hard to when he was strapped in some machine and doing his best to not panic. “If it wasn’t for Daddy- If it wasn’t for Vlad, then I would still just be a half-formed spirit thing floating around the Ghost Zone. He gave me my life back.”

“That doesn’t mean- That doesn’t mean you just go and do everything he says! You’re your own person, aren’t you?” Please- Please see that this was wrong. “Do you really think this is the right thing to do?”

“No, but… Danny, please. He’s hurting. Daddy loves me, but he’s hurting and I ran away to see if he would care enough to come get me and he did! I didn’t think he’d hurt you, too, but please, you have to help him.”

~

“So, yeah.” Danny took a breath after a rambling apology that had went on for far too long, a little of the weight falling off his shoulders when he saw Elliot’s smile. “I’m… I’m sorry that we got off on the wrong foot. I can kind of jump to conclusions, sometimes, and I didn’t mean to make you feel like you didn’t belong. Trust me. I know how it feels.”

“You could have just said sorry,” Elliot laughed, stepping forward and resting a hand on Danny’s shoulder. “It’s alright. I did kind of push my way between all of you.”

“It’s hard to be a new kid,” Danny shrugged, and, okay… Maybe Elliot could be okay. Maybe everyone was right and he had just been a jealous brat. “Right, so, um, yeah. It’ll- It’ll be nice to have another friend around here.”

“That’s sweet.” Elliot laughed again, grip tightening on Danny’s shoulder for a moment. “I never would have thought that ghosts could pretend to be so kind.”

“Gh… Ghosts.” Danny watched as Elliot’s glasses slipped down and no… No, there was nothing warm in those eyes. “I don’t-”

“It’s okay.” It was the same feeling as when he had stepped into the portal and felt his palm press against a button. A missed step. A wrong move. An unseen threat. A mistake. “The Guys-in-White have been very eager to meet you, Danny Phantom.”

~

“Give her back!” Ice crawled through his veins and Danny knew that each breath he breathed out was filled with crystals of ice and snow. “She’s not yours.”

“Meddlesome child.” Plants with thorns and toxins deadly even to ghosts rose up, Undergrowth at the center of it all with Sam sitting under him. “She will be Queen. This child will carry on the work that has been left unfinished for far too long! After her death is complete, she shall be the one to heal the world.”

“Maybe, but she doesn’t need to die to change things. She never has.” Energy colder than anything he had ever felt poured into his hands, and this. This was why he had first started fighting back. Someone needed to stop the ghosts.

~

“I always wondered, but why do you risk so much to protect your town? Surely you’ve read enough comics to know how poorly life is for a ‘hero.’” Ghostwriter stared at him steadily, curiously, and Danny felt all his lies die in his throat.

“I…” He told everyone it was because he had always dreamed of being a hero. He agreed that he had a ‘saving people’ thing. He swore up and down that if he didn’t do it, then he’d regret that he never got the chance to do something so amazing. None of it… Not all of them were lies, but they weren’t the truth.

“You risk everyone and you don’t have to. I’ve known you for months, almost, but I just can’t understand it.” Ghostwriter was honestly confused and Danny couldn’t help but laugh. Really. Shouldn’t a writer have known before anyone else? “Wha- Danny?”

“No, no, it’s just… It’s simple, isn’t it?” At the look, Danny shook his head. “Bad things… Bad things happen sometimes, right? A lot of times, you can’t do anything about it, and you just help where you can and keep on going. The thing is, though…” Danny swallowed, looking up at Ghostwriter and taking a steady breath.

“When bad things happen and you have the power to stop it and you don’t? Then the bad things happen because of you. If I have these powers and someone gets hurt and I can do something? I’m going to do it. It’s not because I’m playing at being hero, but because I’m doing whatever everyone else has always done. I’m protecting my home.

~

“Danny-” If this Reality Gauntlet thing really worked, which he had just proved it did, then they would never remember this, and that? That was perfect.

“I love your stupid poetry, I love how you mutter under your breath when you have a new idea you want to write about, I love your stupid hair and how you can never completely get it to lay flat you hypocrite, I love how you sometimes go hours without realizing that your coat that you’ve been looking for is on the back of the only couch you ever sit at, I love how you can’t see without those stupid glasses, I love how you have to always have your tea in just the right way or you won’t drink it, and I love, more than anything else, that you saw me.”

Andrew seemed struck completely speechless, Danny giving a hopeless smile. “I always thought it’d be Sam, you know? Maybe Paulina or someone else from school, but then I met you, and… God. It’s like I met you, and I knew- I wasn’t looking to ever fall in love like I did, but then I met you, and oh, man. I lost so bad, Andrew. So I’m going to say it now, just this once.

“I’m in love with you, Andrew Riter. I love you. You’re never going to remember this, but I thought you deserved to know at least just once.”

~

“Oh, I see.” Still crouched and ready for danger, Danny eyed the ghost that was in front of him in the dream he had found himself in now. He didn’t know where Nocturne was, but he was going to be ready for anything. “She must be dreaming…”

“Right, yeah, okay, dream that knows it’s a dream. Great. Is there where the walls start oozing blood?” A laugh escaped the ghost in front of him. It was definitely a ghost Danny had never seen before. The hairstyle alone was something he definitely would have remembered considering it was dreads tied up with beads and chains and, yeah, definitely not something from today’s style. “You should know that I don’t go down without a fight and-”

“Hush, young one.” The ghost walked forward and before Danny could fly away, he was taking a necklace off and pressing it into Danny’s hands. It looked like a dreamcatcher or whatever, only… It was glowing and the thread seemed like ghostly energy rather than thread. It reminded him of Clockwork’s staff, weirdly enough. “When you see Nocturne, gift this to him. He will know what it is.”

“I, uh, yeah. Okay?” This was a very weird dream, but if Danny didn’t have to fight, then, yeah, hey, great. “Do you know where to find him, right now? I’m kind of trying to stop the entire world from entering into a sleep coma.”

“Follow this path until it ends.” Great. Cryptic. Just what he needed. “Young one…” The ghost bit his lip, Danny near jerking back in surprise when his cheek was cupped. “Oh, such young ones. I’m sorry for what you will face.”

~

“That’s that, then, huh?” Danny rubbed at his eyes before looking back to the results of three night’s research. It all said the same thing no matter how many times he reworked the problem. “I’m dying.”

He felt like the words should have torn something apart in him, but all they did was make him tired. He supposed, somehow, that made even more sense.

~

“You know, GW, I have a feeling that we’re going to be great friends.”

“I find that I rather agree with you on that.”