#who can't fight back using the same excuse you have
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hilacopter · 1 year ago
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My fellow Jews, if you say things like "but I'm not even Israeli" when addressed with antisemitism, you are implying that if you were Israeli the antisemitism and hate towards you would be justified. You are contributing to the dehumanisation of Israelis. Good for you that you have a get out of jail free card, but I and many others don't have that privilege.
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 7 months ago
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analyzing hermes, emet-selch, the ancients and ascians, how they're written, and the fandom's reaction to them be like hm. emet-selch's role in this fuckery is compounded by the fact that his backstory as a genocide survivor is incongruous with his ruling a huge genocidal colonialist world power in the present da [ANTISEMITISM BLAST]
#ffxiv#ffxiv hermes#emet-selch#i have Posts in Me to write up about the subject but like you can maybe immediately start connecting some dots here lmao#hermes and the ancients lie at the intersection of A Lot of Shit That is Very Important to Me#the vast majority of it having to do with gaslighting in various different forms#one of those posts is going into how his story reminds me eerily of what Questioning Things in an abusive evangelical environment is like#and how the fandom instantly jumping straight to OH SO YOU THINK THE ANCIENTS SHOULD HAVE BEEN GENOCIDED IS THAT IT#YOU THINK THEY SHOULD BE INFANTILIZED AND CIVILIZED BY THE SUPERIOR MORALS OF YOUR OWN CULTURE IS THAT IT#and start throwing around words like 'sympathizer'; if you say 'hermes was right about some shit actually'#'what we see of the ancients' society is full of inexcusably horrific shit which does not get a pass for ~different values~'#smacks strongly to me of evangelical crybullying in the name of Cultural Sensitivity#and how people use 'well it's not my business what other cultures think is right or wrong' as an excuse to throw up their hands and#disengage from actually learning about or supporting the people in those cultures who know and are working within it to fight bigotry#amazingly enough 'racism and misogyny and queerphobia are bad' is not an idea exclusive to western cultures lmfao#your job if you engage is to seek out those people--across the spectrum of opinions and relationships to their culture's issues!#they're not a monolith!--and spread that information; and listen to what they ask of you when they tell you what kind of help they need#but that's complicated; and takes time and care and thought and effort and connecting to marginalized people#talking over activists and victims of the societal issues they live with; and telling them they're the same as colonizers; is easy-peasy#like i cannot stress enough here that hermes Is an Ancient. He Lives Here. He Knows His Society and Thinks About It a Lot#He Wants to Salvage It and is Specifically Fucked Up About Feeling Like He Can't Trust People Around Him for Input#WoL doesn't barge in and start telling the ancients what's what; they find the person who Cares and back him up that he's not crazy or alon#anyway there's a lot here but it is uh. a Lot. the ways in which the game blends up christianity and judaism here.#including the fact that between the two; the default cultural values and dynamics align more with christian associations of Conformity#(the game is by japanese creators and i feel like that's A Factor too; but there are Eerily Accurate evangelical things going on here)#and people cape for the ones who are Most Evangelical about it + the one whose Compelling Aspects are all antisemitic as fuck tropes#whereas the brown guy who grapples with his faith and worldview; who questions and challenges and argues with others in his ethnoreligion#and tries to look for perspective and deeper meaning + Improve Society Somewhat; gets torn apart in the worst faith possible by the fandom#ffxivtag#warning: worm grass
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papirouge · 7 months ago
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LMAO I am not reading all that but one thing :
the "bUt thE USsR aLso dId tHis" argument is dumb because yeah and the USSR isn't the one today painting themselves as the good guys savior of the free world lecturing the entire world about what's being good or bad.
Me bringing up Operation Paperclip was precisely against a burger san arguing the Soviets had a pact with the Nazi when the US did pretty much the same thing 💀
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shadow4-1 · 8 months ago
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I'm just imagining having spent the night with a lover who isn't in the 141, only to wake up the next morning and there's in intervention waiting for you in the rec room.
Like, at first you're just confused. But when Price opens his mouth to ask you about how you slept...you have a bit of a meltdown. Why does it matter? Why is everyone staring at you? What's going on?
Soap grabs the collar of your t-shirt and pulls it down so everyone can get a look at the dark hickies dotting your neck. You slap his hand away, tears in your eyes.
"So all of you can do whatever you want? Sneak bitches on base and fuck around at all the bars we pass through! But I'm not allowed to do anything with someone I actually like?!"
It hurts. It feels like you're being stripped bare in front of them.
Price sighs, his gaze softens. It's obvious he doesn't want to have this conversation but something you've done has given him no choice. Soap just stands a few feet away, chest puffed out, eyeing you with a strange annoyance. You know if you try to leave he'll stop you.
"You are...not in the same position as us." Price tries and winces. He's obviously not putting his thoughts into soft enough words, but he continues. "You are...it is our responsibility to keep you safe."
"Safe? You're trying to keep me safe?" Your voice is raised higher than you've ever raised it at Price. "Safe by what? Fighting off all the guys at the bars? Safe by spreading lies about me to all of the PMCs and the other Task Forces?"
Price just closed his eyes and set his jaw. He had to know about the subterfuge you'd been experiencing for well over a couple years now. Everyone in the room was guilty as charged.
"You're and asset. And you're also a liability." Ghost speaks up, eyes narrowed, stance way too relaxed against the metal folding chair he sits in. "Do you remember what happened to the 7th Division?"
Saliva pools in your mouth, a sudden queasiness filling your stomach. Yeah, of course you remembered. Their beloved medic had been kidnapped by a group of angry drug lords using a mercenary group as their muscle. The 7th Division had gone in guns blazing to get their member back and well...they'd been wiped out. And their star medic they'd sacrificed everything for? She'd been brainwashed and inducted into the very agency that stole her away.
KORTAC
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" You mutter. "Please tell me you're not."
"We can't have you fraternizing with anyone." Price states smoothly. "As our medic, you have a responsibility to us, your team. We can't have you getting caught up in something bigger."
"I understand what you're saying, but can't you see how ridiculous this is?" You try to reason. "I'm human, I have- god this is embarrassing. I h-have wants and...needs, just like you guys."
The silence is loud. You can't meet anyone's gaze. Price steps closer to you, swallowing hard. His next few words are spoken softly, conspiratorially.
"All of your needs will be taken care of. We will never let you suffer by yourself."
Price cocks his head to the men before you both. All of them straighten beneath his gaze. Price places a hand on the small of your back.
"Whatever it takes." He commands them. "I better not hear or see anything. Do I make myself clear?"
A trio of "yessirs" bounce off the white walls. Price just smiles and nods. He pats your back.
"There we go. You'll be fine." He sighs. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to talk to your guest."
Your eyes widen, your throat drops into your stomach.
"Wait!"
"We've got ye, Bonnie. You n' all yer needs."
Six hands are on you from several different angles. Their massive frames block out the fluorescent lights.
"Ah, where are you goin'?" Gaz chuckles, his arm wraps around your belly.
You try to run after Price but the rec room door is slammed shut and locked. You try to push the closest man away, but he just grins down at you.
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lyrefromthesea · 5 months ago
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Please could I request all the hashira being in denial that they have a crush on hashira!reader. I hope you’re having a wonderful day 💙💙💙
Male pillars x Reader - Denial is a thing
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pairing: Tengen x reader, Obanai x reader, Rengoku x reader, Sanemi x reader, Giyuu x reader, Gyomei x reader
content warning: none
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type 1 - i don't have enough time for romance, meaning it doesn't exist.
he is the type of person who is fully obligated to his duty. saving people and taking care of others has gotten natural to him.
the demon slayers of lower rank have come to trust him, look up to him, he couldn't disappoint them. he knew how it was to be scared, now he needed to take away the fear others felt.
naturally, he didn't understand why he found his attention shift, suddenly not thinking of his mission anymore.
yet nothing was different, he got a mission assigned, another slayer joined him, you both tried to defeat the demon.
that's right, you.
you were different, you were the thought occupying his mind. he thought it was fine at first, but when he got distracted during the fight, he realized just how severe the connection to you could be.
he would try to keep your relationship professional, strictly related to work, but he couldn't stop himself from learning more about you while you took care of his wounds.
...Gyomei, Rengoku
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type 2 - i don't even know what happened, this can't be true.
this was stupid, utterly and absolutely stupid. in no world was it possible for him to fall in love with you.
..right?
you were a nice person, someone he could rely on. fear was evident on your face when the situation got severe, but you pushed through, because you wanted to save the people around you - even him.
he didn't understand, you weren't a hashira, yet you fought with the same determination. he tried to understand, listened to your explanation.
"i can't rely on you just because you're strong, the people who chose this life decided to fight until it's over."
he felt his heart throb right at that moment, heartbeat speeding up drastically. never in his life had he heard another person talk like this.
yes, he couldn't understand how this happened.. or maybe he just didn't want to.
...Obanai, Tengen
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type 3 - i will never love again, otherwise i'll lose you too.
what makes him special is not the fact that he's denying his feelings for you, it's how he copes with it.
he wasn't stupid, of course he realized something was different when he felt his cheeks flush or how he accidentally stuttered when he tried to talk to you.
the realization hit him like a brick, immediately excusing himself, trying to never talk to you again.
he knew how this would go. he fell in love with you, he stayed by your side and like everyone else, you'll be taking away from him. it's always that way. it'll always be that way.
it's not like he couldn't stay away, he was used to being alone. other people didn't necessarily talk to him, he would just go back to his old life.
only that it was much harder this time. how come he would always run into you? not only that, but somehow he got paired up on missions with you too.
he cursed himself, nothing about this worked like he had wanted it to.
and when you silently brushed your hand against his, eventually bringing yourself to interlock your hands, he knew he had ultimately failed to stay way.
not that he cared a few months later, when he could wake up to your sleeping body next to his.
...Sanemi, Giyuu
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5sospenguinqueen · 7 months ago
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Post Tension | Charles Leclerc x McLaren! Reader
Summary: Back in the same country, Charles realises that the most important thing isn't winning; it's that he was wrong.
Warnings: Swearing, female reader, Verstappen! Reader. Tooth-rotting fluff.
This is the final part!
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3
Main Masterlist
━━━━━━ ��𖥸༺ ━━━━━━
YourUserName just posted
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liked by arthur_leclerc, kellypiquet and others
YourUserName something in the orange tells me we're not done
7,956 comments
User 1 excuse me, miss thing?!?!
User 2 not miss verstappen posting this on media day when charles and her were spotted in the background of each other's interviews
francisca.cgomes that silhoutte pic is serving 🔥
User 3 just me or does that bear have a ferrari hoodie on
User 4 he is not the love of your life. he is literally just a guy. hit him with your car
→ User 1 nah 'cause does anyone else think charles would run her off the track if she got ahead of him again
→ User 5 wtf that's his girlfriend? he wouldn't try and hurt her
→ User 6 he did push max in a puddle once
lilymhe @ alex_albon why don't you buy me this stuff
→ alex_albon because you don't support McLaren
→ YourUserName excuse me?!?! what is this betrayal
→ lilymhe @ YourUserName i can explain
━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━
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━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━
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User 7 mum and dad putting those cheating rumours to rest
User 8 y/n a stronger woman than me because i would've keyed his car for implying i was sleeping with my teammate
→ User 9 actually it was arthur who implied that
→ User 10 don't drag baby leclerc into this. he was fighting in the trenches alongside us for his otp
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━━━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━━━
scuderiaferrari just posted
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liked by pierregasly, carlossainz55 and others
scuderiaferrari P4 and P8. A strong weekend for the tifosi 💪
tagged: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55
6,459 comments
User 9 i can't decide what i want to ride more
User 10 scoring some points in azerbaijan. well done, team
charles_leclerc why are you not posting the photos of me being #1 wag
→ YourUserName because this account doesn't post papaya, liefje
→ charles_leclerc no excuse
→ lilymhe because you are not #1 wag, clearly i am the only wag for @ YourUserName
→ charles_leclerc defamation
→ YourUserName @ lilymhe you tell 'em, bby
→ alex_albon i leave you alone for two seconds and you're stealing my girlfriend again
User 11 be still my beating heart
mclaren just posted
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liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63 and others
mclaren P3 and P5. roll on the points for team papaya (ft mclaren's #1 wag)
tagged: YourUserName
7,321 comments
mclaren we apologise for interrupting your regularly scheduled papaya posts with a splash of red but you'll never guess who this racer was looking at to make him smile like that
→ maxverstappen1 sickening
→ charles_leclerc i am honoured to be awarded such a prestigious title by team mclaren
→ landonorris does this mean i can stop pretending to like y/n now?
→ charles_ leclerc @ landonorris no
→ YourUserName @ landonorris no. you're my emotional support pookie
User 11 so proud of our papayas. they did so good this weekend
User 12 i'd let y/n hit me with her car
liked by charles_leclerc
victoriaverstappen couldn't be prouder of you! 💕
maxverstappen1 just posted
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liked by victoriaverstappen, kellypiquet and others
maxverstappen1 a disappointing dnf but very pleased for the less-famous verstappen 🧡
8,066 comments
redbullracing still made us proud. we'll come back stronger in france
kellypiquet well done y/n. p was cheering you on
→ YourUserName tell her i'm coming over for a pizza party soon! 🥰
YourUserName i swear he loves me really, guys
→ charles_leclerc well he threatened to run me off the track if i didn't fix things so i'd say he does
→ maxverstappen1 for legal reasons, this is a joke
→ YourUserName ah, so that's why you apologised. not because of your undying love for me
landonorris feel like that should say the more talented verstappen
liked by YourUserName, charles_leclerc
danielricciardo don't let this fool you. the man was close to tears when y/n was p1 with just one lap to go
→ danielricciardo and then cried when her tire burst
→ danielricciardo and then cried when she finished p3
→ maxverstappen1 i'll sue you for defemation
→ User13 the Grid seemed to have learned a new word this week
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YourUserName just posted
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and others
YourUserName ik houd van je
tagged: charles_leclerc
6,124 comments
charles_lecerlc je sais
→ YourUserName never going to let me forget that one, are you
→ charles_leclerc no
→ maxverstappen1 no
→ danielricciardo no
→ landonorris no
→ arthur_leclerc no
→ pierregasly no
→ victoriaverstappen no
→ lilymhe no
YourUserName how about everybody get off my dick
→ YourUserName my only friends here are the lovely ladies thirsting over my hot boyfriend with me
→ User 14 you tell 'em, honey
charles_leclerc just posted
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liked by landonorris, redbullracing and others
charles_lecerlc as the people on twitter say, i would let y/n hit me with her car
8,593 comments
maxverstappen1 my eyes 🤮
→ charles_leclerc look away! i was going to block you for this
→ maxverstappen1 block me forever
YourUserName wow, not even a tag.
→ charles_leclerc everyone knows who you belong to, mon amour
→ YourUserName yeah, the guy who invented ice cream
→ landonorris @ charles_leclerc at least you know what to do if the racing thing doesn't work out
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Thank you for all the support shown on this series. I never expected such a response when I posted my silly little fic.
I've had so much fun making these. I have a few more ideas coming up but not loads so if you have any, please do request and I'll try my best to do them justice! <3
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Tag list: @mehrmonga @luvsforme @lemon-lav @missenclod @halleest @formula1mount @k4marina @evie-119 @letmeseeyougotowork @sleepybrokenmelle @eiaaasamantha @tinyhrry @janeholt3 @allywthsr @callsignwidow @raizelchrysanderoctavius @prudyhoo @valentinanappipage @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @delululeclerc @e-nonsense @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir @butterfliesflyaroundmymind @bloodyymaryyy @kqliie @lifeless-firefly @woozarts @silverxxs-world @personwhoisther @eugene-emt-roe @anthonykatebridgerton @qualitygiantshoepsychic @entr4p3 @carpediem241108 @forevercaffeinated-lee @xyzstar @theendofthematerialgworl @geniusalpaca @chfiosr
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st4rbwrry · 6 months ago
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𝒞𝑅𝒜𝒵𝒴 𝐼𝒩 𝐿𝒪𝒱𝐸.
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⸝⸝ ౨ৎ :: sukuna can’t accept that you’ve moved on. thinks you just need some dick to remind you where home is. ;)
warnings 𑄽𑄺 2.3k. fem reader, lowercase intended, she/her pronouns, black coded. dilf!sukuna, fluff + smut duh, jealousy, sukuna's a cheater n we're dumb, daddy kink, body worship, choking, body worship, dry humping if you squint, consensual coercion, cum play, toxic relationship, sneaky sex, minors aren't welcomed!
꒰ 𝑚𝑜𝑐ℎ𝑎'𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠 .ᐟ ꒱; this is very old, originally a self ship but i just wanted to post it bc i have a lot of old fics sitting in the drafts etc.
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sukuna clenches his jaw whenever he notices the new love interest in your life, nearly causing a fight one day you threw a cookout for your family and the man you're currently 'dating' is playing football with your daughter, seeing the stranger pick her up and spin her around when she scores a touchdown. it boils his blood to see your daughter smile at someone who isn't her father. sukuna awaits at the doorstep of his home, or 'ours' as he likes to call it, still delusional about your separation, claiming it's a break when it wasn't . . hands tucked into his dark gray sweatpants pockets with a smile on his usually stern face as he watches your tiny daughter run to him with giggles and bratz dolls in her hands. sukuna crouches low to grab her with a purposely exaggerated grunt, commenting on how big she's getting with a laugh.
you slam the door to your car, retrieving your daughter's duffel bag filled with things she needed for the weekend at daddy's. sukuna holds his child at his hip. you smile at her as she constantly pokes at his cheek to grab his lost attention. he couldn't keep his eyes off you. looking you up down with that all too familiar glint in his eyes. you raise your brow, glaring down at yourself dressed in a black maxi skirt that touches your ankles and a white lace top, feet in black sandals.
"what?"
"going somewhere?" he questions with authority.
"my house and back. i can't look nice?"
"you look good," you ignore the way he licks his pink lips, your daughter tapping his shoulder for the millionth time, the four-year-old always wanting to be the star of the show.
"daddy, can we watch bratz fashion ‘ixies with mommy?!" the little girl screeches excitedly.
"mommy has to go, baby," you drain the light from her face, the child frowning. sukuna eyes you.
"why?" they say periodically. you stare him down with annoyance. now she's gonna question me. before you can even speak, she's at it again.
"but we haven't watched it in months," she whines. "we watch it every day with all three of us."
sukuna sighs, rubbing her back. "it's okay, honey. me and you can just—"
"i'll stay," you cut him off immediately, not fond of seeing your daughter cry. his puppy dog act was irritating. he grins mischievously.
your daughter cheers and you lean forward to pinch her chubby cheeks, speed walking to your car to pull into the driveway before entering the familiar home, feeling somewhat vacant. the vibe is off, but a little nostalgic. you haven't stepped foot into this place in months, unable to, the idea bringing back too many unwanted memories. your divorce wasn't pretty; finding sukuna messing with another woman when you searched through his phone one day to find the messages, his excuses replaying in your head, all bullshit.
she was just one night. one night over six years? they were high-school sweethearts, and he tore that apart for a one-time fling. didn't make sense, never will. it's awkward when you stand in the kitchen you used to cook your happy family meals every day to see him make your daughter lunch for her movie, combing at her curly hair with your fingers as she went on about how she ate dyed eggs for green eggs and ham day at school. the movie was the same as usual, both of you sitting adjacent to her as she ate her lunch and enjoyed the film, falling asleep on sukuna's shoulder thirty minutes in.
school must've taken it out of her. sukuna stretches his arms, breathing out a 'finally' which makes you laugh, standing along with him as he carries her and you shut off the tv, checking a text from the man you're currently fooling around with, nothing serious. just experimenting the dating life again.
you home today? i wanna see you.
you sigh, dropping your shoulders tiredly. you weren't in the mood to see him. he was a funny guy, enjoyable to be around, and made your daughter laugh . . .but he's obscenely clingy. you liked your space, and he didn't know the meaning of it. on top of that, the sex was mediocre. nothing compared to how sukuna fucked me. you dissociated with the world momentarily, chewing on your lip as flashbacks hit, zoning out the sound of sukuna's heavy steps approaching.
"she's tucked in."
your eyes lock onto the veins bulging out of his arms, the white tee he wore hugging his muscles, and the platinum chain swinging around his neck making your face hot. dammit, stop. your stare lingers longer than you expect, sukuna lowering his face to catch your attention with a smirk.
"hello? you good?"
"yeah, sorry," you clear your throat.
"check me out all you want baby, it's still yours."
"sukuna," you roll your eyes, locking your phone and finding your car keys, needing to be as far away from him as possible before you do something you regret.
"what? i'm joking," he furrows his brows when you begin strutting towards the front door, mumbling about how your daughter's ballet recitals on sunday and not to forget to monitor her junk food intake. his hand clasps around your wrist to stop you.
"stay. i wanna talk to you."
"there's nothing to talk about."
"are you dating him?" he's straightforward, watching the muscle in his jaw clench.
"that's none of your business."
"i have a right to know who's around my daughter. yes or no? or are you just fuckin' him?"
"why?" you yank your arm away, getting in his face, barely with your height. "does it hurt your feelings? well, guess karmas a bitch."
sukuna chuckles darkly, raising his arm to tug at his bi-colored hair with frustration. "man, you're still on that shit."
you raise your brow with fury. he's shitting me. "on that . . . are you fucking serious? you tellin' me i don't have a reason to say fuck you for cheating on me?"
"all she did was suck my dick, you're acting like i was in her shit," he rolls his eyes, shrugging his shoulder with zero care in the world. "i've apologized a million times. it was one stupid night where we were at each other's throats and she just so happened to be around . . so."
"you know what." you scoff, not having time for this stupid shit. men always have bullshit excuses when trying to justify cheating. you didn't care if he kissed the bitch, cheating is cheating. you managed to bypass him, walking around the couch until he was back in your face fast once again.
you clenched your keys in your fists, ready to claw at his face with them. "what do you want?"
it's silent for a moment, the hard stare he has on you makes you feel small, folding your arms over your midsection, waiting for his response.
"i need some pussy," he whispers gravelly, slowly licking his lips and grabbing at your waist. you swallow, trying to ignore the sudden throbbing at your clit. chill out.
"text your other bitch. i'm sure she'll give it to you."
"only your sweet fuckin' pussy," now his hands are smoothing to your backside, smacking his heavy, veiny palm on your ass to draw you closer, squeezing the flesh between his long fingers. you gasp, eyes wide as you feel the outline of his dick against your stomach. his fingers are dangerously close to your pussy. "daddy misses it so much."
you inhale, shifting to try your best and break from his barricade, shoving him away which barely makes him stumble. "i'm leaving."
thinking this is your final attempt at actually leaving, that relief gets knocked down the instant his hand grabs the back of your neck and brings you back to him, his mouth pressed to the side of your neck where he breathes and kisses wetly. you freeze, the ache below never subsiding in his hold. sukuna's lifting your skirt before another word falls from your pretty little mouth, shoving his hand into your matching white lace, smirking from the ocean flowing on his thick fingers.
"you need some dick, don't you?" he whispers hotly behind your earlobe, rushing his tongue there at the same time he circles your clit, falling back into his warm chest, dropping your keys altogether. "he not hitting it right? doesn't do it like me, does he?"
shamelessly, you nod your head in agreement, giving up because you know he's right and this is what you need. you know he can give you things no other man could. it hasn't been the same ever since. any man you've been with aside from him hasn't met up to those standards. sukuna raised your pussy to only come back to him. trained to accommodate him. cum from him. fuck him. for any other man to take possession of what he crafted would be fucking fowl.
"you miss me?" sukuna hums, walking you both towards the black couch in the living room you moved too far away from your previous escape. your knees are dented into the seat, arms thrown over the back as sukuna groans low in his throat, pupils blown with lust as he tugs your panties to sit at the middle of your thighs. he presses his clothed cock to you, grinding slowly to make you feel it, let you know how much he misses you more. "you miss daddy, baby?"
you keen, face buried into your forearms shyly, rocking back onto him, feeling yourself soak his pants. sukuna hisses and smacks your ass again, pussy clenching from the attack. you whine. "yes. miss you."
"daddy misses you too," he's swift with his actions, already tugging at his dick leaking absurd amounts of precum, circling the angry red tip on your entrance before sinking in only halfway, wanting you to remember how to take him. you moan quietly, biting at your arm and taking lead by pushing back onto him, only to have sukuna retract his hips.
"don't be greedy, you'll hurt yourself." it echoes in your head when he says this, smiling cutely, loving that he cared, unlike other men. and he's kind of right. he's perfectly thick, long to the point where it surpasses his belly button. it was always hard for you to fully wrap your hand around it, towering your face whenever he stood over you, veins decorating up the underside. he draws his hips back, carefully driving into you, rolling his waist effortlessly to make you savor every ridge of his cock.
"doesn't it feel so fuckin' good?" he asks with his lip tucked between his teeth, rolling his eyes back once he starts it up, hooking you by your handles and yanking you back as he fucks you, fascinated by the jelly-like bounce your ass makes as you throw it back.
his wife was always one to never hold back her sounds, whimpering and moaning to your hearts delight. sukuna has your back arched with his other palm, reaching behind yourself to clutch at his veiny forearm, the two of you locking eyes as you glare up at him to see him slowly losing it. so much pent-up sexual frustration from not having you for months. not being able to touch another woman since so it pisses him off to know you could easily fuck another man without feeling the same. he's getting mad just thinking about it, clenching his jaw tight as he fucked you harder, deeper. you're clawing at his arm and crying his name, sukuna coming to his senses momentarily, forgetting they had a daughter who's asleep upstairs.
he moves your hand away, entwining both his large palms over your mouth and pulling you back to his chest where your head rests, sukuna standing straight as your back dips even more, cursing as your eyes switch white and you sing into his hands shielding the sweet symphonic tones.
"you forgive me?" he breathes shakily on your forehead, ruts becoming sloppy when that familiar heat twitches in his gut. this he could excuse; cumming too fast just to brush off the burning arousal for you. he'd savor you later on when it truly mattered. he'd make love to you to prove that he still loves you, that he's different now, that he'd never fuck up a good thing again. right now, he just wanted to fuck you so you know he's not letting you leave anytime soon.
your brown eyes are slanted softly, whines and delicate nods of your head are what takes him there, dropping his hands from your mouth, choking you lightly as he mashed his mouth onto yours, moaning with you as you tremble and orgasm. he stays inside you a little longer, fearing that warmth would dissipate if he stayed out too long. sukuna swallows, catching his breath and darting his attention to the way his cum flows out of you after you fall forward, taking his index and middle finger to collect it and shove it back inside. you laugh at him with a silent 'fuck off' and smack his hand away. he grins happily, massaging your backside adoringly. this isn't a pass that you're going back to him. but having you in his presence as of now was a start he could be satisfied with.
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© 𝒮𝒯𝟦𝑅𝐵𝒲𝑅𝑅𝒴! all rights reserved. please do not repost, steal, or modify my work simply because it is mine. stealing isn't cute. i'll ruin your life ♡
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toast-on-dandelioms · 10 months ago
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What if reader accidentally called superman "dad" while they were on a mission? Like Batman needed some help tracking down some new murder cult and thought Spider could help? But they wouldn't come unless superman wasnt there since Spider does NOT trust the batfam?
Ok so, I'mma make a scene with your idea and then say what it would happen. Just to then explain how the Batfam would react.
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You were called with Clark to a mission, knowing the Batfam was there but you didn't care since you knew Clark would protect you from them.
Plus you made sure to grab two tasers this time and incorporated a new type of web fluid that could emit electricity when it hits someone.
You did create it so you didn't have to use a taser but also so you could tase anyone of the Batfam that would dare to get too close to you or even touch you during the mission.
Clark finally landed while you adjusted your mask since you took it off while you were flying to feel the air in your (long/short) hair.
You looked at the batfam, already annoyed when they didn't even do anything but just their presence was a source of anger and annoyance for you.
While the Batfam was also annoyed that Clark was there but he had to come or you wouldn't even consider going with them to a mission.
You didn't say anything to them, just giving them the blank stare your mask provided and just stayed next to Clark, listening to them talk about what everyone was supposed to do in the mission.
Bruce did try to make you go with him or any of his kids, making you nervous since you couldn't really refuse without any excuse. You did have one but you can't really say "I refuse to go with any of your kids (directed to Batman) because I hate all of you".
But Clark surprised you by refusing any option of you going with any on the Bats and stated that you would go with him, making you smile a little and lean a little on the kryptonian.
Which made all of the Bats jealous and angry at the kryptonian.
At the end you were supposed to go with Superman in the hideout of the cult, which you were happy about it and quickly followed the kryptonian while ignoring the glares of the Batfam that were directed towards Clark.
Well, during the mission you got separated from Superman in the fight against the cultist when they suddenly ambushed both of you, making you panic since you never fought so many people at once.
Yes you did fight small gangs but usually they were just kids and you just had to punch one and all of them backed down immediately. So fighting a large group of people that knew how to fight was a bit difficult and extremely different from what you're used to.
Plus your panic doubled when you saw Damian and Dick approaching, probably to help you but in the fight and the panic in your mind made them seem even more dangerous than the cultists trying to stab you.
So you did the only reasonable thing that your scared mind wanted. You called for Clark while fighting three cultists at the same time, tasing a few of them while fighting.
The problem? You accidentally called him dad.
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Bruce Wayne: oh god how angry was he when he heard that from Dick and Damian's coms.
(He still doesn't know who you are behind the mask but already sees you as one of your kids even though you're already are)
He quickly finished fighting the leader and ran to where you were supposed to be, quickly knocking out anyone who was in his way.
He did kill a few of those in his way, but he made sure to hide the bodies and will deal with it later by burning down the hideout.
He finally arrived at the spot where you and the others were supposed to be and he saw something that made him want to grab his kryptonite batarang to hit Clark.
Why? He saw you in Clark's arms, hugging him with all your might while he flew so neither Dick and Damian could reach you.
Plus the worst thing was the sick smile Clark had in his smile, like he planned it. Like he knew you weren't ready to go in such a big mission and would probably call him in a panic.
Bruce just glared at the kryptonian and signaled him to get out with you so they could get rid of the rest of the cultists.
Basically Bruce would be a jealous bitch even though he doesn't care about you when you don't have the mask on, and would use his anger against all the cultists there since he blamed them instead of blaming himself.
Clark Kent: oh he would be so smug whenever he sees Bruce and you're not with him.
Especially since he planned it. He might not be as smart as the Batfam but he knows people and especially you.
He knew you weren't ready for such a big mission since you mostly trained with him and fought small gangs in Gotham.
He knew you would panic while fighting and knew you would call for him when you couldn't do it anymore.
The dad part was a surprise but a happy one for Clark, he became so smug when you jumped in his arms when he quickly flew to you.
He did see the glares he received from almost all the batkids and especially Batman, to which he responded with a smug smile while rubbing your back.
He left with you since you didn't want to stay and he also knew Bruce caught the leader so he didn't have any reasons to stay.
Not sure if you also wanted the Batkids but I didn't add them, just comment if you also want to have the batkids reaction and I will add it!
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luffington · 3 months ago
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hello i love ur works!! i hope ur doing well! :D for law can i request a law with a f!reader who doesn’t like him at all at first but has an uncharacteristic absolute soft spot for cute things (ie bepo) and he uses that to get closer to her? thank u!! ☺️
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➤ pairing: trafalgar law x gn!reader
➤ word count: 1.1k
➤ warnings: alcohol use
this is such a cute concept thank you for suggesting it!! i'm exactly like this and i wanna hug bepo so badly ᕦʕ •ᴥ•ʔᕤ
i'm still not confident in the way i write law so i hope you like this!
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Law's heart skips a beat the moment he meets you. That’s very unfortunate for him. 
His social skills are adequate at best, since his awkwardness unintentionally comes off as rudeness, but they get infinitely worse around people he’s attracted to.
Plus, you're a Straw Hat, so you're already seeing him out of his element. Luffy's (unintentional) insistence on ruining all of his carefully planned schemes leaves him perpetually frustrated, uncomfortable, and grumpy.
You frown when his voice comes out harsher than he meant it to. Roll your eyes when he gets upset at your crewmates again for doing what they always do. Mumble something snarky under your breath when the man frantically tries to get his plan back on track, somehow still not realizing that everything works out for Luffy. 
Oh, you must hate him. Law knows it. He tries to give you space to avoid making the situation worse, but that only upsets you more.
But Bepo? You’re obsessed. 
Constantly clinging onto him, rubbing your cheeks against his fur, giggling about how soft and round he is until the poor bear's snowy white face is tinted bright red.
His first mate nervously cries out "Captain!!", clearly flustered but secretly enjoying your praise. You pout, wondering why the cutest Mink you'd ever met is sticking around with an asshole like Law.
It’s not just Bepo – you love everything cute. Chopper always ends up in your lap, happily wrapped in your embrace. You feed stray cats, stop to pet every dog you see, and gush over the Tontattas in Dressrosa (especially Princess Mansherry!). Somehow, you cry more than Franky does at heartwarming stories. 
Law doesn’t understand how someone as adorable and kind-hearted as you could become a pirate. He admires your emotional vulnerability and childlike whimsy as much as he’s terrified of it. 
The poor guy can't win. He can barely talk to you like a normal person, much less have a full conversation with you. It leaves him lying awake in bed at night trying to think of something to say that doesn't make him sound like a dick. 
(Maybe he should read that book Chopper gave him – 'healthy ways to process trauma’ or something stupid like that.)
His crewmates know about his predicament, so Shachi suggests expressing his feelings in a way that doesn’t involve words. 
Law fights off embarrassment and walks into a toy store, looking incredibly out of place. He ends up picking out a black-and-white puppy plushie. (it’s Snoopy hehe)
Anxiety nearly overwhelms him while he waits for the perfect moment to give it to you. When it finally feels appropriate to pull you away from your crewmates, he leads you into an empty room on the Sunny. 
Law can barely look you in the eyes as he hands you the stuffed animal and mumbles, “I got this for you.”
Your jaw nearly hits the floor. “Oh, Law…” The long stretch of silence causes him to panic internally, suddenly regretting everything and thinking of ways to explain himself.
Before he can come up with a flimsy excuse, you gladly accept his gift and hug it tightly. “It’s adorable, thank you! It even matches your hat!”
A blush spreads across his cheeks like wildfire. He wasn’t thinking about that, he swears! It’s the same color as Bepo! Yes, he loves black and white, and maybe he subconsciously wanted it to remind you of him, but he didn’t do it on purpose!
At breakfast the next morning, Shachi asks if you like your gift. Deciding not to question why he knows about it, you nod enthusiastically and say it’s so cute that you spent the entire night cuddling it. Law sputters and spills hot coffee on himself.
But now you feel bad. Everything about Law’s behavior made you think he disliked you, but he clearly cares enough to notice your interests. You don't know anything about him.
The next time your combined crews split up, you make it a point to join him and spend alone time together. He’s obviously overjoyed, and he’s already thinking about more gifts to buy you.
Once you get past his awkward exterior, you realize he's actually pretty cute. He has his own nerdy interests, and he genuinely cares about Bepo and the rest of his crew.
He’ll show you his if you show him yours… Obviously that means his limited edition Germa 66 comics box set and your collection of cute trinkets, with the puppy plushie he bought you sitting proudly on your pillow.
When he sees a cute animal or something he knows you’d like, if you’re within Room range, he Shambles you over to him so you won’t miss it.
“Law, what the hell? Why am I three blocks away from where I just was?” With a straight face, he points and says, “Cat.”
Bepo’s also a great wingman. He helps you see his captain’s soft side by telling stories about their adventures together – even embarrassing ones Law wishes he left unsaid. You eagerly listen to everything the Mink has to say and become even more comfortable around Law.
Law realizes you can be soft and strong at the same time. No one doubts Sanji’s strength even though he caves whenever he sees a woman – why shouldn’t that apply to you and your interests?
At one of your crew's famous banquets, you get super drunk and won’t stop clinging to him. Law is completely sober and tries to push you off of him, attempting to prevent you from doing anything you'd regret the next morning. 
But then you tell him you think he's adorable and giggle cutely.
He's stunned into silence for a few moments. "...You think so?" (He'd rather be seen as manly, but he's more than happy with any perception as long as you like him.)
You nod and move to kiss him, and as much as he’s dying to reciprocate, he holds you back. Instead, he half-carries you over to where a group of both of your crews are mingling. You're asleep in Bepo's lap in less than a minute.
Hungover and sleepy the next morning, you timidly apologize for your behavior. Law shakes his head and assures you that it's fine. 
"I still wanna kiss you, though," you murmur quietly. 
So his lips press against yours in a slow and gentle kiss, eventually escalating until your fingers are tangled in his hair and you’re straddling his lap, one tattooed hand gripping your hip and the other holding you tight against him.
Bepo and Shachi’s eyes widen when they see their captain’s flushed state a while later, hair messy and hickies on his neck. In typical Law fashion, he just thanks them with no further explanation.
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carbondioxidewater · 1 month ago
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Make A Move
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americanfootballplayer!Sukuna x fem!reader
genre: slow-burn romance, college au, fluff, angst
warnings: none so far
word count: 1.8k
(-> Pt. 2) (-> Pt. 3) (-> Pt. 4) (-> masterlist)
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Being too kind is truly a disadvantage sometimes, you thought to yourself when you realized the true intentions of your counterpart.
You were sitting at a table in one of the most renowned restaurants in the city. A classmate from one of your courses invited you after you two had successfully presented your group project. He was adamant on taking you out to celebrate your success and you were too kind to decline, being relieved yourself. He wanted to pick you up from home, but you told him not to bother driving to your dorm and just meet you there.
"'My treat." he said, referring to you doing the most part. Honestly, he didn't participate too much, that's why you figured it would be just fair for him to do something for you in return. After all, you saved both of your grades.
But when he began to make remarks about your appearance and asked you what you have in mind to pay him back because he'd pay for dinner, you quickly searched for a way to get out. You cursed yourself on the inside for even accepting the invitation and not seeing through his facade - you didn't take him for that kind of guy - but of course, he's a man after all. You would never ever blame yourself for the horrible behavior of men though, this is completely on him and if you wouldn't see him constantly, you probably would've smacked him across the face. But you were not in the mood to fight, you simply wanted to flight. Of course, the bathroom was your first idea, so you excused yourself and made your way to the back of the restaurant where the sanitary rooms were.
There was a small window at the top of the wall that you could only reach when standing on the toilet, but it was big enough for you to fit through. You didn't think too much and started crawling out of it.
There were a few stacked boxes outside that you, very carefully, used for support and once you stepped fully on them, you jumped down the not too high distance to the floor. You didn't notice someone standing outside, too engulfed in your plan to get out, so when you suddenly heard a voice next to you, that certain someone startled you.
You immediately recognized the person, it was the heartthrob of the college and the most popular guy on campus. Even outside of your campus, many were familiar with his name, he was known all over the city for his excellent and extraordinary football skills - it was no other than Ryomen Sukuna.
"You know there's a door over there right?" he immediately began, cocking his head into a certain direction.
You looked to your right and to your surprise, there was a door indeed.
Shit, you thought, there must have been an exit right next to the bathrooms that you failed to see.
"Oh." you simply voiced out, not knowing what else to reply to someone you never talked to. You weren't even sure if he knew you went to the same university as him.
"Who are you running from? A horrible date?" he asked then, smirkingly.
"Just another guy who thinks I owe him a favor for something I didn't even ask for." you replied sighingly when your open and unfiltered answer quickly stunned you - usually you weren't this talkative with someone you pretty much considered a stranger. To get rid of the sudden awkwardness that emerged in you, you asked him a question back.
"And what are you doing here outside, all alone in this empty and dark alley?"
He shrugged, then started to speak again.
"Smoking." he bluntly said and held up his right hand, it was just then that you noticed the half burned cigarette in it.
"Isn't smoking allowed inside?" you questioned, remembering the sign that you definitely saw when entering the restaurant.
"Can't a man enjoy the silence and peace of the night?" he replied back.
You went silent and just stared at him, not knowing what else to say.
"What, are you scared of me? Scared of someone who enjoys spending his time in dark backstreets?" he smiled smugly and slowly came closer, caging you between him and the wall behind you. When he saw your startled face, he backed off and laughed.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything to you."
"I know, you'd have your whole football career ruined and I don't take you for the guy to risk that."
At that comment, he seemed surprised.
"You know me?"
"Who doesn't." you simply waved your hand and that intrigued him.
"Don't you think this is a little unfair?" he then voiced and that confused you.
"What do you mean?"
He grinned.
"I mean that you know who I am, but I don't know who you are. Care to enlighten me?"
"Not my fault you don't notice people you share a course with." he seemed truly surprised at that.
"We're sharing a course? Which one?"
"Find it out." you then teased and immediately excused yourself right after.
"Anyways, I have to get going before my cover blows. Have fun strolling around dark alleyways all creepily." you surpressed a smile and quickly went your way. He was speechless.
Yes, you definitely intrigued him.
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At home, you immediately told your friends Shoko and Utahime about the horrible evening and your encounter with THE Ryomen Sukuna. Thankfully, you three being little gossip girls made your night better.
The next monday morning came by and you were on your way to your class. You were pretty early, so you sat down on a bench near the sports field and enjoyed the morning sun shining down on you. Usually you weren't so early, coming last minute but still punctual every day, not feeling the need to be there earlier than required. You just knew how to do it.
What you didn't know is that Sukuna has been thinking about you a lot during the weekend, wondering if you really went to the same college as him. Wouldn't he have noticed you?
So when he coincidentally saw you sitting there at the bench, him being on the field behind you to use the empty space to train a little, he started to walk up to you. But before he even reached the end of the field, you were already gone, already left for your class.
That happened again and again, whenever he spotted you on campus, you always found a way to get lost in between the crowds of students, he was simply unable to get to you, not that you had noticed of course.
On friday, he finally catched you after his second class ended. He ran up to you quickly but carefully, not wanting to attract your attention to purposefully scare you a little again.
"We don't have any courses together." He remarked after basically teleporting out of nowhere and he was pleased to see you wincing. You responded in amusement.
"But it left you wondering, didn't it? That just proves my point: you don't notice your surroundings, otherwise you would've known right from the start."
"Such a shame, I was kind of looking forward to seeing you in my classes." Your heart missed a beat, causing you to fail to come up with a fitting reply, caught off guard by his response.
"Didn't know I was dealing with a pathological liar, though." he added.
"Didn't know I was dealing with a self-centered player. Oh wait, I did!" you followed suit and he catched onto that insinuation.
"You mean player as in athlete or fuckboy?" he questioned, completely amused by your insolence.
"Guess we'll never know." you shrugged and he laughed.
"Sassy. I like you." You felt yourself heating up at those words. Somehow, he was very easy to talk to.
"So, what made you exit through that window last week? Don't you know that normal people use, I don't know, doors?"
"Nothing that concerns you, I believe."
"It does, it traumatized me. Imagine you're just trying to enjoy your life, then all of a sudden someone creeps out of the window. A disturbing sight, really."
"Sorry for not meeting your standards then."
"I didn't say that." he corrected you and smiled cheekily. He was confusing you, was he flirting with you?
"So?"
"So what?"
"Your date."
You sighed. "It wasn't a date."
"Hah, and I already wondered why you were dressed so casually."
You furrowed your brows.
"Do I have to look special to go on a date?" you questioned. To be fair, you like getting ready and dressing up all prettily, but that comment made you challenge him anyways.
He laughed at your upfrontness and continued.
"Not at all. It's just that from my experience, I know people usually put more effort into their appearance when going out on a date."
"If you figured, why bother asking?" you asked, half playful half serious.
He smirked again.
"Feisty, I like that." You rolled your eyes. "I'm just curious. Am I wrong?"
"Well, I guess people only dress up for special people."
"And he wasn't?" he tilted his chin upwards but still stared down at you with his eyes, awaiting your response.
You snorted. "No, he was not."
"So? What did he do?"
"Why do you care so much? Don't you have anywhere to be?" you then asked, remembering he probably had classes to attend to after break, just like you.
"Why do you care about my obligations?"
That silenced you. He laughed.
After a small second of silence and the expectant look on his face, you gave in and told him the story.
"Happy now?" you asked after finishing.
"Of course not. That guy is an asshole." He exclaimed. His reaction surprised you, after all, he was a famous womanizer himself.
"Oh come on, no need to feign sympathy, you probably use the same methods on girls."
That made his eyes widen.
"Who do you take me for? I'm a true gentleman. Speaking of it, where's your next class? Want me to bring you?" he suggested, but you declined.
"No, thank you, I think I'm very much capable of finding the way myself."
And he was shook, never before had a girl rejected his offer.
To be honest, being reminded of last friday soured your mood and you were confused about the sudden interest Sukuna had taken in you. If he thought you'd be his new plaything, he was wrong. He has the whole campus swooning over him, but it's basic knowledge that he leads women on. You didn't have anything against him, but you were not interested in joining his world.
Sukuna stopped in his tracks for a moment and watched after you.
Oh, you're gonna be a lot of work, he thought to himself, catching himself smiling.
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Had this in my drafts and I've remembered it randomly. Let me know what you think! I have a lot of ideas already...🌜
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mermaidfanficlibrary · 5 months ago
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Lights! Camera! Oh shit. || Yandere Celebrity x Gn Reader
Characters: Ryland
Summary: You caught his eye. Now he wants you. It's as simple as that.
Warnings: Yandere themes, possessiveness, violence, stalking
A/n: He's kinda scummy
꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦
Yan Celebrity who is the big name with most companies. Sponsors only the best. Gucci, Prada, anything expensive and he's had his own collection line. He can't help it if he's got a big name and expensive tastes.
Yan Celebrity who meets you at a meet and greet he was hosting to broaden his name. You weren't even there to see him, not in line. You just happened to be wandering around the shopping center.
Yan Celebrity who sneaks away from the table to take a break, but in actuality he's searching for you. It doesn't take him long to find you in a small café. He approaches you, knowing that you must know him from somewhere.
Yan Celebrity who's taken aback by your lack of fascination. You've got a celebrity right in front of you that wants to talk to only you! What do you mean you're not interested?
Yan Celebrity who goes back to his meet and greet because his bodyguard caught him. He's all pouty now and doesn't want to be shaking hands with all these fans.
Yan Celebrity who searches the news later that day to check how is event went but is caught of guard by the headlines. Seems like a few bystanders took pictures of his interaction with you and assumed you were his partner.
Yan Celebrity who for the next few days, stalks your socials and hesitates to reach out to you. But he got a DM from you to clear up the rumors and say you two barely even know each other.
Yan Celebrity who does so but for a price. You two go on a secret date with each other. No news outlets or onlookers, and it would be on him. He's such a generous guy right?
Yan Celebrity who has a date with you within the week. He did make good on his promise and managed to take down all the headlines with some help. Said help stays quiet though.
Yan Celebrity who goes all out for you. Sure he just met you but something in him tells, no, screams at him to be with you. This couldn't be love right? He doesn't do that, not when he's such a famous man with fan clubs dedicated to his name and image.
Yan Celebrity who ends up having very real conversations with you. He gets to know you and you get to know him. The real him. The one that hates sour things. The one that loves birds. The one that hasn't completely let go of his comfort toy he's had since a child.
Yan Celebrity who knows all the same things. It's a trade of information of sorts. But much more intimate. He hasn't had a conversation like this since elementary school.
Yan Celebrity who ends up hanging out with you secretly and more often after that date. He thought it was just because you were good eye candy. He didn't want to admit to himself that he wanted to be vulnerable with you.
Yan Celebrity who is still a bit of a flirt. He can't help it if he can give some fan service back to his fans. He'll bring you along to meet and greets and other events, and he'll flirt with others in front of you.
Yan Celebrity who doesn't understand when you don't get jealous. Do you not like him that much that you would fight for him? Because he would fight for you if he saw you flirting with someone else.
Yan Celebrity who does everything in his power to know what you like. He makes sure that he at least sponsors all the products you use once. It's his way of making sure you remember him. Remember who you are to him.
Yan Celebrity who invites you to special events like premieres of movies or shows he's been a part of. Charity galas, fashion shows, even commercial shoots. He makes you stand to the side with a water bottle for him so he has the excuse to see you in between shoots.
Yan Celebrity who hides the new headlines about you two from you. His help making sure they never reach your phone. He can't have you know the news outlets think you two are together. That would ruin the whole plan.
Yan Celebrity who is very clingy with you after a while. He invites you to his mansion, secretly of course, and all you two end up doing together is cuddling and watching things he's starred in. He is trying oh so hard to impress you.
Yan Celebrity who doesn't care about his audience's reactions much anymore. So what if they were happy about his new role? You weren't, and even if you were, he thinks he wasn't good enough. Nothing is enough or perfect for your eyes.
Yan Celebrity who needs you to keep his career going. He needs to know you'll see every achievement, every roll, every position he's gotten. All of it is now for you. Because of you. Why haven't you seen that yet?
꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦
Do not repost or translate without my explicit permission! Reblogs are welcome!
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artificial-transmutations · 3 months ago
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The wedding getaway
A mile in each other's shoes
"Oh, come on, you can't be serious."
Lance groaned and looked at Lisa, the bride's maid, who in turn didn't appear all that amused either, although for different reasons. She smiled a sweet and poisonous smile as she answered.
"Yes, I am, Lance. Dead serious. Apparently, you have no idea how difficult it is to find a hotel with enough free rooms on a Caribbean island in the middle of spring break."
Before Lance could answer anything, she continued with a sharp voice.
"Or how expensive. So, yes, I'm afraid you have to share your suite with one of the other singles for the duration of your all-inclusive stay. Deal with it."
Lance took a deep breath and fought down the urge to say something very inappropriate. Lisa was probably right, and he wouldn't die from having to share a room with one of the other guests for a few days. He would only go there to sleep, anyway.
"Ok, ok. No need to explode like that. So, who will be my... roommate?"
In an instant, Lisa had a list in her hand and looked at it until she found the name.
"Let's see... that would be Jamal, who also didn't arrive with a date. I trust the two of you know each other?"
"Jamal? Oh god, no! Why do I have to room with the n... with him? Isn't there any other option?"
Lance couldn't believe it. Jamal, really? Of all the guest, he had to endure Jamal?
"No." Lisa said firmly. "And now, if you excuse me, there are a thousand other places I need to be right now. Have fun and try to get along with your roommate, ok? I'm not gonna make any changes."
With a flip of her hair, she walked away.
Lance was fuming as he fingered the keycard to his room. This had to be a bad joke. Jamal and him... Let's say they never got along really well. And ‘never’ was quite a long time for them, actually. They've known each other since kindergarten and didn't get along very well even then, although they had arguably be friends back then. But ever since, their relationship became worse.
It wasn't Lance's fault, of course. That much was certain, he decided, as he drew the card through the door sensor. Jamal was just so...
The door opened and revealed the object of his disdain.
Black.
There was hardly any way to phrase it differently, Jamal had the unmistakable dark skin color of a dirty ... Black man. Lance didn't consider himself a racist, but the fact was that people who weren't white were less civilized, that was just the way it was.
"Lance."
Jamal's voice was just as dark as his skin as he glared at Lance. Unlike Lance, Jamal most definitely was racist. He was proud of his heritage and thought very lowly of Lance, no doubt because of his skin color. If things were allowed to continue like that, people like Lance would surely become even more oppressed by people like Jamal. He closed the door behind him.
"Yes, that's me. Do you have a problem with that?"
He approached the other man like a predator until he stood right in front of him. They were about the same size, and Lance could see the dark wide nostrils of the other guy flare.
"Yes."
Jamal spat the word.
"I do. What are you doing here, you white piece of trash?"
Lance gritted his teeth.
"What are you doing here, you filthy ni-"
Jamal's fist flew before Lance could finish the word and it was only due to the fact that Lance expected the hit that he could dodge and thus avoid having his teeth bashed in. He answered with a quick kick to the balls, and the two men began their brawl.
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The fight was short and intense, but neither of them managed to seriously hurt their opponent. At the end, they sat at different sides of the large double bed, breathing heavily.
"Fuck."
Lance spit out a blood drop. Jamal had a surprisingly hard punch.
"Yeah, that about sums it up."
Jamal was massaging his wrist, and Lance guessed that his jaw would bruise pretty badly. He was more than surprised, however, when Jamal offered him his hand to help him up.
"It's no use, Lance. It looks like we're stuck together for the next few days, and I've got better things to do than beat your racist ass every time I go to my room. Truce?"
Lance considered the proposition for a few moments, before he nodded and grabbed the dark hand.
"Truce. At least as long as we're stuck in this room with each other, you fucking monkey."
A moment of silence followed before Jamal got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. From inside, he mocked Lance again.
"You know, Lance, you really need to learn how to control your racism. I bet the only reason why you're so angry about me is the fact that I have a big dick."
"Oh, shut the fuck up, asshole."
These were going to be a few long days. The wedding wouldn't be for another two days to give everyone time to enjoy themselves a bit. Originally, Lance had looked forward to this opportunity, but now it seemed like these days were going to be more of an ordeal than anything else.
Of course, there was no way he was going to sleep in the same bed as Jamal, and, luckily, Jamal agreed on that without argument and moved his stuff to the couch. They didn't speak a single word to each other this evening, and Jamal left the hotel room shortly after, allowing Lance some time alone. He was still bruised up and dirty from the short fight and took the opportunity to take a shower himself.
The water was somewhat soothing, and slowly, Lance regained his composure. He certainly wouldn't let someone like him spoil his vacation, and perhaps Jamal was right, and it was a good idea to just ignore each other as much as possible. He could live with that.
When he was sufficiently clean and calm, he left the shower and reached for a fresh towel, only to see a small article of clothing fall from the rack.
With some disgust, Lance noticed what it was: A piece of underwear, a pair of boxer briefs to be exact. It was previously worn, and Lance had no doubts who the owner was. Jamal must have forgotten it when he took a shower earlier.
Lance tried to ignore the unwanted textile as much as he could, but his eyes kept returning to it. Truth be told, it wasn't all that small. In fact, especially the pouch area was rather large, and the fabric looked like it had been stretched somewhat. Without really wanting to, Lance had picked up the piece of underwear and inspected it from all sides now. Frustratingly enough, what Jamal had said earlier appeared to be true. If this piece of underwear was any indicator, then Jamal's dick had to be fairly huge.
That only angered Lance further. Who did Jamal think he was, with his stupid large penis, mocking him? Did Jamal think he could impress him with that?
The piece of clothing had a slightly damp feeling to it. Most probably it was because of the steam from two showers, but was that really all? His body acted on autopilot when he brought the foreign item of clothing closer and sniffed. It was a bit musky, that was for sure, but he wasn't quite sure yet. He buried his nose in the front part of the pouch, right where the dick had been before and took another deep breath.
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Oh, there it was. Definitely, Jamal's scent was embedded in the fabric, and the smell was stronger now. Lance felt a rush of shame and anger. Did he really smell the underwear of his black temporary roommate? That was disgusting. He was just about to drop the garment, when he noticed something else. His own -rather small- dick stood proudly at attention.
"What?" Lance said out loud? He was hard because of a man’s underwear? No, not just any man’s. Jamal's, his arch enemies if he had any.
No, this had to stop. With a quick motion, Lance pulled the underwear over his legs and left the bathroom.
Only when he pulled on his pants over the baggy and mostly empty cloth that concealed his erection, he took note of what he had done. Why had he put on the thing?! Well, now it was too much of a hassle to change that, he decided and closed his pants, pressing the damp sweaty fabric against his groin.
Luckily, Jamal didn't come back until late in the night, when Lance was already asleep. He half noticed the other man getting settled on the couch, but he was too tired to care.
When Lance woke up the next morning, he was covered in sweat and his boxers were uncomfortably tight. He groaned as the memories of the day before came back. A quick glance confirmed: Yep, the black man was still there, on the couch, and still asleep, as it seemed.
With a throb, his cock demanded attention under the sheets. It had been quite a while since he had woken up with such a severe case of morning wood, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He wasn't alone, after all. He couldn't resist, however, to reach down under his sheets to readjust himself.
Only when he felt the unfamiliar fabric, again somewhat wet, by his own sweat and precum did he fully remember. Right, for some reason, he had put on Jamal's underwear after the shower. And later, when he went to bed, he hadn't fixed his mistake. There was something else, though.
Lance carefully felt the outline of his cock. This wasn't right. The stolen underwear pouch was filled to the brim with a throbbing organ entirely unfamiliar to him. This wasn't his cock! It was much, much too large!
However, every touch on the large piece of flesh felt good, and he couldn't resist stroking the length stealthily, if only a few times. Why did this feel so good? Lance failed to fully suppress a moan, and saw Jamal stir in his sleep. He really had to stop this. Only perhaps one or more stroke.
Were before, when rubbing one off, he often resorted to only using three fingers to stimulate his length due to his tools size. Now, however, he found that his whole hand was unable to fully close around the shaft, and there was a lot of space for his hand to move up and down, too.
He threw Jamal another glance, but the unwanted roommate still seemed to be asleep. Perhaps he could continue just a bit longer, and perhaps pick up some speed...
This time, too, he failed to muffle his moan completely.
"Ahh, fuck, yes..."
He breathed as he pumped the thick organ faster and faster, using his other hand to caress his balls through the underwear, which felt unusually large as well. Not being able to keep it down any longer, he pumped faster and faster, through Jamal's underwear, until, with a loud groan, he shot a generous load into the fabric.
Lance saw stars for a moment, but the noise had apparently been enough to wake up Jamal, and he turned around on the couch and remarked with a sleepy voice filled with annoyance.
"Dude, what the fuck? Did you just jerk off?"
"Uhh, no. I was... not."
"Yeah, right. And I'm the president. What the fuck, dude? Couldn't you wait until I was gone or something?"
Jamal groaned and got up to go to the bathroom. As he was walking, Lance got a short glimpse at the other man’s groin for the first time. If one thing was for certain, his dick wasn't as large as Lance had suspected. Most of the front of Jamal's boxer briefs was obviously empty.
Jamal spent a surprisingly large amount of time in the bathroom, and when he emerged again, he was - as far as Lance could tell - pale as if he had seen a ghost. He didn't speak a word as he quickly got dressed and basically fled the room, leaving a puzzled Lance behind. What had gotten into that guy again? He shook his head and, finally, removed the sheets and pulled down his borrowed boxer briefs.
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And then, he looked at his crotch dumbfounded. He had been right. It wasn't his dick, even though it was flaccid again now, it was much too large. However, that wasn't the biggest problem. Despite being too big, it was decidedly... Black.
And it wasn't just his shaft that was suddenly dark skinned. His balls, too, and the rest of his groin as well. When he turned in front of the mirror, he realized that even his ass-cheeks were a rich dark brown color now, and his pubes dark and wiry.
Lance's head was swimming. What in the world was going on? Was it an infection?
No, even a guy as biased as Lance knew that dark skin was not a disease you got infected with. He simply had no explanation for what he was seeing. Luckily, only his groin was affected. Both his legs and his torso were still as white as they were supposed to be. And his face was fine, too.
Lance shook his head. He'd have to get to the bottom of it, but that had time until later. Today, he wanted to enjoy the beach a bit. However, as he tried to put on his swimming trunks he noticed a problem with his new anatomy. Neither his swimwear nor his pants would fit without being extraordinarily uncomfortable. Not wanting to cut off the circulation to his now much larger tool, he glanced over to Jamal's suitcase. Judging by the pair of boxer briefs, Jamal's stuff should be about the same size, even though Lance didn't really understand why the other man brought clothes this big.
After rummaging through Jamal's belongings for a bit, Lance found what he was looking for. A pair of swimming trunks and a pair of pants that fit comfortably as he put them on without a second thought. He briefly considered fully dressing from the other man’s trunk, but decided against it and took socks, shirt and sunglasses from his own stash.
Finally, fully equipped, he went to the beach.
Given the time of the year, it was rather full, just as he had expected it to be. Nevertheless, he found a spot to lay down a bit and sunbathe, and soon, the warm rays had him relaxed.
For a while, nothing happened. Lance felt at peace, and his thoughts returned to the morning events. He was no stranger to masturbating, but it was the first time that he had felt the urge to do so while in the same room as another guy. Even stranger though, he didn't feel particularly ashamed about it anymore. So, what if Jamal had seen him? He certainly jerked off, too. Put aside all the obvious things that separated them, that was one thing they had in common. They were both men, and men had certain needs. Nothing wrong with indulging in them, right?
In fact, in the morning sun, his thoughts about Jamal were less hostile than usual. It was really hard to be angry all the time when relaxing in the warm seaside sand.
A few hours later, Lance decided to take a swim. However, as he wiggled out of his borrowed pants, he was confronted with yet another surprise.
Apparently, the dark skin had spread. Now, the whole length of his legs was decidedly dark-skinned. Lance shook his head as if he would be able to revert the skin color of his legs like that. But it was no use: The pigment was there to stay. This couldn't possibly be natural, or even healthy! He needed to see a doctor, right now!
Half-panicking, he checked his upper body but was relieved to see that there, his skin was just as milky white as it was supposed to be, as were his feet.
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Against all logic, his panic subsided. Sure, he looked ridiculous like that, but it wasn't that bad. In fact, once he managed to look past the weird color of his skin, he found his legs somewhat better looking even, packed with lean muscles. It wasn't bodybuilder level, but a whole new level of power that he never had before.
Originally, he wanted to run, search for a doctor as quickly as he could, but now, he reconsidered. He might as well go through with his plan and swim a bit in the inviting ocean. He could look for a doctor afterwards.
The water was wonderful, and the feeling of his legs powerfully propelling him through the waves was intoxicating. Lance lost track of time, and it was only when his stomach reminded him that he hadn't eaten all day that he turned back, all thoughts of a doctor forgotten.
He grabbed his stuff and went back to his hotel room to change, but was surprised to meet Jamal in there, when he unlocked the door.
The other man was sitting on the bed with his pants at his ankles and was furiously beating his meat. When the door opened, he quickly covered his groin with a pillow, but there were two things Lance had noticed: First, Jamal's dick was really small! And, secondly, from the waist down, Jamal's skin was colored a bright tone of pink, a stark contrast to his dark torso. There was an obvious connection waiting to be found, something really profoundly easy, but it escaped Lance persistently.
Instead, for the first time in God knew how long, Lance smiled at Jamal briefly.
"Don't mind me, just carry on. I'll just get changed really quickly."
"O...okay." Jamal replied, obviously confused about more than Lance's statement. Hesitatingly, he removed the pillow and continued his work, his eyes glued at the other man.
Since Jamal was occupying the bed at the moment, and Lance didn't want to disturb him by accessing his own suitcase, without thinking too much about it, he grabbed a new set of clothes from Jamal's: A pair of socks, pants, fresh underwear, a shirt and a baseball cap. He got dressed and nodded at the furiously masturbating Jamal again as he left the room just as Jamal came.
Dinner was somewhat strange for Lance. His upper body, arms and feet felt all strange and tingly, and below the borrowed cap, his hair felt like it was shifting and changing. He was really hungry today and was glad about the all you can eat buffet.
However, the more he ate, the more the strange feeling took hold of his head and face as well, and with it, another urge awakened. Lance's thoughts consistently went back to the picture of Jamal masturbating on their bed. Say what you want, but that white boy really had a cute body. That was something Lance had always liked about Jamal James.
Lance Lamar felt his groin get tight again. It was difficult enough to find underwear for his large black python, but when he got aroused, there was hardly anything able to contain the beast of burden.
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Finally, he stood up in all of his black glory and went to the elevator. Time to see if James was still around and was up for a length of his loving boyfriends large dick up his cute tight ass.
He was.
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As he left the dining hall, Lisa smiled a thin smile and changed an entry in her list. Two less troublemakers and one more happy couple for the wedding.
What a great couple, in the end! After all, racism never pays.
If you like to read about another great couple, in a magical story, perhaps check out this novel!
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cy-cyborg · 1 year ago
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People on the internet: they can't hire actors who are actually in wheelchairs to play wheelchair users in movies! What if there's a scene where they need to stand up? A wheelchair user can't do that!
Robert Rodriguez: hold my beer
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This is a scene from spy kids 3 - a movie in a series famous for its shoe-string budgets, where Ricardo Montalbán's character is in a wheelchair, but spends most of his screen time in a digital reality where he doesn't need it. Ricardo Montalbán was actually in a wheelchair though in real life, so they just used a combination of VFX and camera tricks (and a dolly for a few shots) to film those scenes. Also if I remember correctly the movie ends with him back in the real world, fighting a mech with his jet-pack wheelchair lmao.
The disability rep is dated (as is the VFX lol) and does fall into a lot of tropes I personally dont like, but it's so earnest in their attempts, and the visible effort behind the scenes to include a real, disabled actor outweighs it for me - even as a kid who wasnt fully aware of why.
Bigger studios have no excuse.
I've linked the video I got these screenshots from, they talk a lot about how they handled Ricardo Montalbán's character being out of his wheelchair there. If if you like behind the scenes stuff for campy old movies, I highly recommend it!
[ID 1: a screenshot of the movie Spy kids 3D, showing Juni, the main character in a suit of yellow power armour, talking to his grandfather, who towers over him in red power armour. his grandfather is kneeling so he can be at eye level with him.
the caption underneath reads "where he kneels down and talks to Juni" /end ID 1]
[ID 2: a photo of the same shot but without the effects. Grandpa is shown to be in a wheelchair, and is being held at the needed height by a moveable platform his wheelchair is sitting on. Juni is wearing the armour, grandpa is not, and there are green screens behind them.
the caption underneath reads "but we just had him lowered in a dolly" /end ID 2]
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genshingorlsrevengeance · 6 months ago
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Hey!Hey! How are you doing? I hope well.
In any case, I can make the request with Ganyu, Sarah, Shenhe, Furina, Lynette and Arlecchino with a shy, kind and quiet Y/N taking a stance to defend them?
(Genshin Impact) Ganyu, Eula, Sara, Shenhe, Furina, Lynette, and Arlecchino's shy S/O defending them
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Ganyu is speechless when she sees her S/O stepping in between the person she's speaking to.
(S/O) "Ganyu is always doing the best she can...! I don't see you putting even a single fraction of effort she always does!"
While she is surprised, her love for S/O goes up tenfold hearing them stand up for her. Especially knowing that they were just as shy as she was.
It inspires her to do the same, and takes their hand to excuse themselves.
Once they get out of the area, she gives such a warm smile to them.
(Ganyu) "Thank you for saying those things about me, S/O...Would you like to get dinner tonight, it's on me!"
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Eula can't help but wince a little, seeing S/O step in to defend her.
She was used to this, and worst of all, this would paint a target on S/O's back as well, if dating her already didn't do that.
But at the same time, it made her heart swell hearing their words.
(S/O) "Who cares if she's a Lawrence! She's always fought for every single one of us in Mondstadt to keep it safe, including you! Don't...Don't treat her like that!"
Once she fights off her creeping blush, she takes S/O aside after the argument.
(Eula) "You didn't need to do that, but...thank you, S/O. Just don't get hurt because of me, got it?"
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Sara is more impressed than anything that someone had the balls to even insult the General of the Tenryou Commission straight to her face.
And she continues to be when Sara steps in.
(S/O) "And what have you contributed to Inazuma? Sara would be the first one to defend the people, while you'd be doing nothing!-"
With how soft-spoken S/O was, she decides to step in so that way S/O doesn't let a vein burst in anger.
(Sara) "That is enough, S/O. Thank you."
Once they're in private, she can't help but smile.
(Sara) "S/O, about what happened back there...I have to say I'm impressed and...thanks."
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Shenhe is resisting the urge to bash this person's head against the wall.
Not for insulting her, she was used to that, it was for doing this while she was on a date with S/O, and their time had to be wasted on this nonsense.
Before she could open her mouth and threaten them, S/O steps in.
(S/O) "She's not an adeptus. Shenhe is human, more than you are!"
Shenhe recoils ever so slightly at their words, moreso by the fact that S/O spoke less than her, and yet decided to interfere.
It also made Shenhe be that much more fond of S/O. They'd defend her, even though she didn't need it?
(Shenhe) "S/O, let us be off before I throw this man into the harbor."
And if they tried to insult S/O, then Adepti help them, because then she'd actually do violence to them.
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Furina shrinks with every insult thrown her way by the person standing in their way.
At least, until S/O stepped in between them.
(S/O) "Shut up. Furina isn't even human, yet she'll always be a better person than whatever you'll turn out to be!"
Furina's mouth goes agape, she'd never thought that the S/O who would clam up at the presence of more than herself could say such a thing.
Doubly so when they spit at their feet and take her hand and drag Furina away.
Furina is blushing the entire time, trying to process what just happened.
(Furina) "That...was quite the performance S/O. And...u-um...thank you for defending me."
She is looking away, blushing madly as she thanks them.
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Lynette really didn't care about the person calling her cold.
She was used to it, and it's not like they were wrong. She was busy tuning them out until S/O's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.
(S/O) "If you're so adamant on her performing magic, I got one for you! Conjure yourself a bridge, AND JUMP OFF IT!"
Lynette's tail shoots straight up as her eyes go wide.
Okay, she didn't expect her S/O was even more quiet than her to ever say something like that.
Not that she had a complaint at all about it.
S/O and Lynette get some privacy, making her speak up.
(Lynette) "...I'd say you should say stuff like that more often, but that'll create more headaches for the two of us."
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Arlecchino couldn't give less of a damn about what people said about her.
Which made her all the more surprised when S/O defended her from a stranger's rude words.
(S/O) "You call her hands creepy, but you haven't even looked in a mirror today!"
Oh? Now that got her attention.
She was under the impression that her S/O was like Freminet in terms of speaking to others.
Arlecchino doesn't even wait until they're out of earshot.
(Arlecchino) "My, I didn't know you had it in you, S/O. You should let that side out more often."
If that person wanted to interrupt her and S/O's conversation now, they'd answer to her instead.
S/O's defense truly wasn't needed, but the thought at least counts.
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linksqueerawakening · 6 months ago
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Miscellaneous LU Headcanons
Four doesn't cast a shadow. when questioned, they flatly state "it died" and refuse to elaborate. if pushed on the matter, they become more and more irritated, while still refusing to elaborate
Time always knows what time it is. you could wake him up in the middle of the night and before he's even fully opened his eyes he could tell you the time without having to even think about it
Hyrule has the most magic, but Legend knows the most magical theory, followed closely by Time
Warriors, Legend, and Four are the only members of the chain who are actually legit monarchists. like the others are pretty much neutral on the concept (tho Wild doesn't like how flora was treated with all the expectations and lack of freedom, but that's another matter entirely than being of the opinion that monarchy is inherently bad), they're fine with monarchy. they just don't have strong opinions one way or another, so long as the current holder of power isn't corrupt. meanwhile Four Legend and Warriors would probably fight you if you insinuated that hyrule's monarchy should be abolished
Legend and Fable are twins but it's a secret. and also due to Fable getting kidnapped and transformed in various worlds in some of their adventures, they're no longer the same age; Legend is 19, she's 16 or 17. they still look very similar so they used the excuse that they're cousins on their father's side
Legend used to want to be a knight very very badly when he grew up, because his uncle who raised him was a knight. the knights who were controlled and attacked him during Link to the Past were pretty much all trusted adults that he knew and admired. he stopped wanting to be a knight after that
Wild may be the best cook when they have good ingredients, but when the chain is down to the wire and they need to make every little bit count? Hyrules horrible concoctions are actually the best option. he can't make it taste good but he can make it keep you alive when there are no other options
Wind is the best at navigating without a map or compass due to his experiences on ships - he would rather have the tools, but he's pretty damn good at managing without
Four has a habit of referring to themselves with "we/us" pronouns ever since they were split and then reformed with the four sword. the other heroes don't know why, but sort of shrugged and started using "they/them" pronouns bc it seemed polite. Four is mostly unaware that they do this - green picked up on it but hasn't pointed it out to the rest of four bc he knows it'll make them stress, and it clearly hasn't caused any issues
Twilight is disarmingly charismatic but only when he's not trying. if he's talking to someone casually or even somewhat irritably, they tend to be completely taken by him, but if he's actively trying to be smooth it just comes across as awkward
Sky is the most mild mannered person you've ever met until you cross certain lines, at which point it's like a switch flips and he's so pissed that even the other heroes hesitate to deal with him
Discounting the hundred years in which Wild was unconscious, Warriors had the longest single adventure, with the war of eras lasting about 7 years. Legend's six adventures altogether may have lasted longer, but they were split up into multiple parts, not one long quest
Wild takes pictures of pretty much everything they can to show Flora whenever they're back home, because they know how much she wants to learn about the ancient past, like their species, their societies, and their magic
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sweetinsaniiity · 5 months ago
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My Life For Hire
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► 𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 - frat boy!san x college!Y/N ◄ ► 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜/𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 - switched bodies!, plot with smut, cursing, betrayal, enemies-to-lovers, semi-funny, San is an !ass, but so are you, bickering while having sex, love-making, sweet sex (no rough fucking this time, ya nasty people), blowjob, name-saying kink, permission-asking, creampie, no protection (do NOT do this!)◄ ► 𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 - MDNI, mentions of extreme violence, childhood abuse, body disfigurement (via burn marks), fighting scene ◄ ► 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 - 18.1K (+ bonus scene!) ◄ ► 𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 - Choi San was a man you harbor great loathing for. He betrayed you out of nowhere, and it cost you your whole life. You were ready to hate him for the rest of your life, until both of you were forced to work together after switching bodies, and then San claims he never betrayed you. How long will you pretend to be each other until you two get caught? ◄ ► 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 - Hello again <3 I wanted to publish this sooner but I wasn't feeling well so I had to take a bit of a break. This is definitely not my best work since this genre isn't my strongest suit. This is a work of fiction and is not meant to represent Ateez in real life. Join the taglist here. Title from A Day To Remember ◄
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"So is anyone attending that party at the frat boys' dorms?"
I took a deep breath through my nose, hoping that the gesture would calm me down and not let my frustrations get the best of me.
Hyolyn, a close friend of mine, latches on my arm. "Our Y/N works a little too hard," she pouted. "You should come with us."
"You know I can't," I sighed. "It's not that I don't want to either, my finals are around the corner and I can't slack off."
Of course I wanted to go, just like the other normal people my age, and in college, no less. I wasn't the studious type nor was I someone who cared too much if my grades tanked, but I do want to graduate at least.
The cafeteria wasn't the ideal place for me to glance at my notes every now and then, but hey, the sooner I finish this, the sooner my life gets a bit easier and smooth sailing after.
"Ugh, can't they keep it down?" another friend of mine, Seolhyun, grumbled. She was the pretty but nerdy type, it made her charming. "I'm trying to study here, Professor Byun will literally fail me..."
I took an apprehensive glance at the far corner of the college cafeteria, and I couldn't help but be annoyed as well, and soon it became even rowdier when this particular group strolls in and creates more noise pollution.
"You fuckers be ready for the party tonight!"
"Beer pong anyone?"
"Everyone better attend and be ready to fuck things up!”
They were Ateez, a bunch of immature frat boys that took pride in annoying the living daylights out of everybody they encountered. They were loud, boisterous, and rambunctious.
I tried to get back at my sad excuse of a lunch - by that, I meant soggy veggies, gamey meat, cold soup, go figure - and my boring class notes, but the hairs at the back of my neck stood up. That's how I knew someone was watching me.
And I was right, someone was, or rather, someone was murdering me with their eyes.
Choi San.
He was seated at the far corner of the cafeteria along with the rest of cronies, leaned back a little comfortably on his chair with his arms crossed, and glaring at me with such intensity, and not participating at the rowdiness of Ateez.
"What the hell are you looking at?" I stared angrily.
He seemed to get the message. He shrugged his shoulders and glared harder. "What are you looking at?" he scowled.
I scoffed, the grimace clear on my face. "Can you guys keep it the hell down?" I mouthed at him wryly.
I gripped my pen so tight in my hand I'm surprised it didn't snap off. Oh, how I wanted to rip that menacing smirk off of his face. "What are you going to do about it?"
I stared at the way he licked his bottom lip then poked his cheek with the same tongue. He narrowed his eyes at me, waiting for the comeback that I always delivered to him, but not today, Satan. He looked at me with so much contempt, I was forced to look away.
"Guys, I have to go," I packed my stuff hurriedly in my satchel with a tight smile. I heard my friends complain under their breaths, I can't tell them but that the reason is that, mainly, I was avoiding San. 
He was still staring at me with that nasty smirk he's always had. I had to resist the urge to march over to him and gouge his eyes out with a spoon.
Staring became our only form of communication for a couple of years now. It was a contest between us, and winning came with a reward - the satisfaction of seeing one of us falter. 
San tilted his head curiously as he watched me pack my things. His eyes were unblinking, they were harsh enough to see directly right through me. Perhaps it was the way he looked at me that gave his intentions away.
I wasn't going to give in to him. I sneered at him, unwavering as I slowly walked towards the cafeteria's exit.
I grimaced when I realized I had to pass him in order to do so. Curse him, I thought bitterly. I'm fine, I just have to ignore him---
"Oh, oh, oh no," I panicked when I accidentally tripped on something and began falling straight to the ground face down.
This was it, the end of my social life, and the end of my reputation. 
"Careful. You don’t want to fall on your face, do you?"
This was my nightmare personified - tripping and falling directly in San's arms. I sighed deeply, forcing myself to look at him as he held my waist a little too tight for my liking.
"Unhand me, you swine," I hissed, grabbing onto his arm and pushing it away. 
San clicked his tongue mockingly. "I help and this is what I get in return? You wound me." He leaned close to my ear and whispered something soft enough for only the both of us to hear. "I get it. You've always acted like you have a stick up your ass."
I scoffed blaringly loud enough to catch pretty much everybody's attention. It was embarrassing, but my anger towards San prevailed.
"I'm sorry, were you dropped on your head as an infant?" I snapped. "Or were you just born stupid?"
Ohhs and a couple of laughs were heard across the cafeteria. His friends stared at us in amusement. San had a devilish grin on his face, but I knew him. The way his eyes glinted with something dangerous - he was angry.
"This isn't over," he growled lowly.
With that, I turned away from and left not only the cafeteria, but the university in general to head back to my dormitory. San always bought out the demon in me, and I was exhausted.
In the end, I decided to go to that party, even though one of his frat buddies, either Wooyoung or Mingi, hosted it. Needless to say, Hyolyn and Seolhyun were over the moon. I decided to get ready the moment the sun went down.
"You fool," I muttered, staring at the picture frame I always had on my table. I paused from getting ready and stared at it for a while.
It was San and me, grinning widely at the camera without a care around us. One glance and it was like we were in high school again, before all the dumb decisions and before we both drifted apart.
It's been four years since then and I will never get over the loss.
The party was unfortunately a blast. As much as I disliked San and his cronies, they sure knew how to throw a good one. The mingling bodies made it a little difficult for me to move around.
"Having fun?!" a boy in my class, Haechan, raised his voice so I could hear him from the loud music.
"Sort of!" I laughed loudly.
I was loosening up, maybe it was the alcohol, but nonetheless I moved my body to the rhythm of the songs that played in the background, chugging my beer from time to time. It was honestly fun, I haven't really gone much because I really did try to concentrate on my studies.
Suddenly, someone hastily grabbed my beer cup and sloshed it on the floor. "Hey!" I shouted.
I was being dragged roughly across the room, through the sea of drunk people and vomit, outside the house the party was. I groaned when I was harshly shoved against the wall.
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
I laughed contemptuously at San's pissed off face. "What?" I scorned. "I can't attend parties anytime I want now?"
San looked royally pissed. He had always been the intimidating bastard, and he'd always hated the disrespect I gave him.
"You?" San sneered. "You hate parties. Did you come here to embarrass me further? Haven't you had enough?"
My heart suddenly hurt as I stared at San's disdain, and I mourned the loss of my best friend all over again. We were everything to each other, until we just weren't.
San's eyes softened, and they mirrored the same loss I mourned for. It was always like this.
My eyes flashed with anger, I glared at him and showed him how mad I was. "Get off your high horse, Choi San. I'm not the same person I was years ago."
Something cold crossed over his face; touched the corners of his eyes and glossed over them like sharp winter frost. He let out a snort, but chose not to reply. He behaved like always until it made me crack.
I was angry and frustrated that he ruined my mood, and I was getting back at him for this. “Your group of bastards irritate me, you know?"
San laughed and shook his head. “Bastards like us are born out of passion, aren’t we? We are everywhere,” he jeered.
I smirked. He always hated it when I talked shit about Ateez. “I can’t say I particularly hate your little group—“
“No? How tolerant of you.”
“—-just you, San.”
San stares at me. “You hate me that much, Y/N?"
No, I thought, I hate them from stealing you away from me and you for going along with them.
“Yes.”
His brows shot up with the revelation and I stared at him with my heart racing. I haven't been this close to him in years. I scrutinized him - he was the most handsome in my eyes, but now more so that he'd matured. One thing that never changed was he always dyed a section of his hair blonde.
I hated that piece of hair. It always garnered him the attention he never deserved.
A searing smile curled at his lips and he chuckled in amusement. "I suppose the feeling is mutual," he smirked. "You feel tough because of your boy toy, what's his name? Jaemin?"
"That's none of your business," I gritted my teeth. I was pissed, Jaemin has been nothing but good to me.
He sneered at my annoyed stance. "Are you fucking him?"
"No!" I denied faster than I'd like. I rapidly shook my head at his accusation. Embarrassed, I tried to avert my eyes from him.
San chuckled lowly. "Go home," he said, but it sounded like a threat.
"Careful now," I chuckled without humour. "People are going to think we like each other if you keep cornering me like this."
Sans arched a brow at my defiance. He clenched his jaw, the irritation slowly getting to him. "Why?" he sneered. His fingers mockingly brushed against my arm. "You like playing hard to get?"
"Ugh! You are insufferable!"
"And you are a feisty little bitch," he snapped.
"Are you fucking serious?" I cursed, moving slightly to try and get away from his presence. "You're the absolute worst, I swear to God."
"I wish I gave a fuck," he sighed with a mocking laugh. 
I was about to retort something dumb, something so stupid he'll have no choice but to let me go, when the loud cracking of the thunder interrupted us. It amplified the rain that accompanied me and San's childish argument.
Taking the chance, I pushed him off and tried to storm off in the rain to my car. I wasn't in the mood to party anymore. "Let me go," I said firmly when San stopped me by holding onto my arm.
"Don't be a kid," he rolled his eyes. "As much as I'd like to see you drenched and suffering, wait the rain out for a little, then you can fuck off."
I angrily shook my arms off of his grip. "Talk to the wall," I hissed.
"I'm serious, it's slippery out there," he nagged, following me when I began to walk off, but hesitating when the rain hit him. "Come on now, Y/N."
I flipped him off. I noticed his eyes grow dark, I recoiled a bit, but chose to go on. The rain was strong, but I managed to walk off, and then the inevitable slipping that San had warned me about came in time when I accidentally stepped on mushy grass.
I screamed, flailing my arms stupidly like it would break the fall, and break it did. Except that the real reason was because a pair of arms had broken my fall.
I stared at San's wet form holding me. "Are you okay--" he began speaking, but he too, had fallen victim to the slippery slope we were in.
I cursed as we both tumbled along and San let out this guttural groan when I fell directly on top of him. I didn't register it at first, but I felt something very soft land on my face...
"Mmph!" I whimpered. To be specific, something on my lips.
San and I looked at each other wide eyed, not moving as we were too shocked to do so when we realized that our lips had met.
Then came that dizzying sensation I had never, ever felt before in my entire life when San pulled away in daze. Before I could even register the fact that San and I basically kissed, albeit by accident, I started to lose consciousness.
"You're so disgusting you literally make me sick with a single kiss,"San slurred, his eyes slowly fluttering close like mine as he held onto me tightly.
I buried myself in San's arms, scared and confused to what was suddenly to the both of us. Did someone spike the drinks?
"Likewise," was the last thing I blurted out before both him and I slumped on the ground as the world started disappearing from both of us and fainting.
There was nothing, for a moment, at least.
And then it came, in the darkness, that wonderful dream I loved dreaming about. I dreamt about it so much that I subconsciously knew I was dreaming.
The vibrant, hectic space was bursting into life. To my right, the espresso machine sputtered slowly, its sounds resonating through the air, every now and then pausing to gasp some air whilst liquid gold flowed down to be served into a cup.
"A cappuccino for you, my lady," San teased as he gave me my cup and then sat opposite to me. "And a latte for me."
It was a beautiful summer bloom, with the busy college applications looming over us. I'm surprised that San and I even had time to hang out.
"Are you really coming with me?" I frowned. "You don't have to, Sannie. I can always visit you overseas, you know that."
San clicked his tongue. "That won't be necessary," he smiled, that cute dimple he had popping out from his cheeks. "I already rejected the offer, we'll be in the same college."
Guilt crept its way into my heart at San's excited stance, and of course, he takes notice. He grabs my hand and massages it gently.
"I'm serious, Y/N, it's okay. I'd rather be with you than be alone somewhere else," he said. "I...don't think I can live without you there."
I bit my lip apprehensively. "I don't want you to give up your dreams because of me," I whispered.
He shook his head. "I'm not," he assured. "What's the point of achieving them if I'm without you?"
"What am I going to do with you, Sannie?" I giggled.
I'd loved him the most when he did the thing - dancing - he was most absolutely passionate about. It was when his eyes twinkle despite the absence of emotion on his face. They were alive in the lights, burning with the motivation to succeed as if he has been through so much and more. 
And when he glances at me the same way, it was when I felt loved the most.
I woke up in a cold sweat, my breathing laboured and intensive. Fresh tears started to well up in the corners of my eyes at that dream, for it was the last time I would ever call San my best friend.
Or rather, the love of my life.
I laughed bitterly to myself. That ship sailed a long, long time ago. At this point, I was in love with the memory of how he used to be - the sweetest, kindest man. Now he's just a cocky douchebag.
I sat up on the bed, and it was when I realized that I was in an unfamiliar room. I looked around, my heart beating a little too fast for my liking, and my head pounding really, really bad. 
Odd, I thought. I'm not a lightweight, this can't be a hangover.
I panicked when I heard the bedroom door jiggle and a voice rang from the outside. "San, are you awake?"
I screamed bloody murder when the door opened and tried to cover myself up. I cannot be seen dead or alive within a ten mile radius with San. "Ahh!"
"Ahhh!" the other person screamed as well.
"Ahhh!" I screamed back.
"Ahh! Why the fuck are you screaming, San?! God, my ears are busted..."
San? I gritted my teeth in annoyance under the blankets. Why wasn't he saying anything? I swear if I get my hands on him I will wring his neck.
"San? Are you okay?"
I paled when I felt the blanket suddenly pried from me. All the excuses and scenarios in my mind on how to excuse myself and maybe bribe this man into not telling anyone I was in San's bedroom. 
But nothing. The person that took the blanket away from me was none other than Jung Wooyoung, San's closest friend. The familiarity in his eyes when he looked at me was creeping me out a bit. Or maybe he was just used to San having women over. The thought left a bitter taste in my mouth.
"Get up, man. It's almost 10, I saved you some food earlier," Wooyoung spoke, looking at me expectantly. When I didn't reply, he frowned and touched my forehead. "You okay? You look sick."
I recoiled from his touch, and his frown turned deeper. "A-Are you talking to me?" I asked, squeaking pathetically when I realized that my voice wasn't my voice.
It was deep, rich, and it sounded a whole like San's.
Wooyoung cackled loudly. "Are you still drunk?" he jokingly hits my shoulders. "Unless there's another San in the room, then yeah, I'm talking to you."
An oncoming panic attack makes my heart beat erratically, the fear automatically bombarding my brain. The intense worry was overriding the rational part of my brain, not that there was anything rational about this. 
I slapped myself hard, hoping to wake from this nightmare that I was in, but nothing. Wooyoung stares at me like I grew two heads. "Yeah, you're definitely still drunk," he mumbled.
When Wooyoung left the room, I got out of the bed so quickly that the blood rushed to my head fast and rendered me dizzy, but I didn't care. I ran to the big mirror at the corner of the room and stared at myself - or San.
"No, there is no goddamn way, this cannot be real," I muttered to myself, the mania and craze scattering my thoughts and making it impossible for me to think. "Oh my God, what the hell did I do wrong to deserve this?!"
Broad frame, toned arms and chest, almond-shaped eyes, white-stripped bangs, this was San. I brought my hand to touch my face, it was smooth, something I knew my skin wasn't. When I waved my hand dumbly in front of the mirror, I yelped when San's reflection looked back at me and did the exact same thing.
But wait, if I now San, where is the real San?
"I'll be right back!" I screamed at nobody in particular, trying very hard to appear normal when I rushed downstairs, tripping on a few steps, with a newfound vigor. The blush on my cheeks were still evident when I changed into San's clothes with my eyes closed.
It was hard because I would sweat when I'd accidentally touch what technically was his skin, but I can't just panic and mope around doing nothing. I have to find my own body.
"Ya! Don't slam the damn door!" I heard someone scream when I hurriedly ran out of the Alpha Tau Zeta frat house. It was probably Park Seonghwa. Rumour has it that he was a neat and clean freak.
I stumbled like a fool as I speed walked my way towards my own dorm house where hopefully San with my body was in. I cursed under my breath when I tripped again, barely catching myself. Curse San and how big he is!
How did this happen though? Was magic a real thing in this life all along? It didn't make sense, what kind of sick God was playing with our fates like this?
With no time to lose, I opted to jog and I was pleasantly surprised when I realized how easy it was to jog right now. But it wasn't me, San's body was the one with the insane stamina and strength to do so.
When I reached my dorm all the way to the end of the campus, I wasn't even panting or sweating. As I tried to make my way inside, the friendly security guard stopped me from walking further. It was something I appreciated living here, the safe security, but now I'm a little annoyed about it.
"Your name and who are you visiting?" the guard asked.
I cleared my throat apprehensively. "Y/N, ah, m-my name is Choi San and I'm visiting L/N Y/N."
It unnerved me to hear myself - San - talk and it was even more unnerving not to say my own name and use San's right now.
"Nope," the guard shook his head. "Miss Y/N did not put your name as a legal visitor for her."
It took a lot in me not to snort loudly in contempt. Of course I would never put San's name down. I never wanted to see his face near me ever again when I started living here.
I was about to appeal and try to sneak away, when I saw a familiar form by the doorway. My eyes widened when I saw myself seething and shaking with anger. Is that what I look like when I glare at San? I suppose no wonder he hates me.
"You," I hissed. I cringed when San stared back at me, maybe my face and body, but those eyes belong to San. It's definitely him in my body.
I marched over to him, ignoring the protests of the guard and dragged him into my room in a hurry, not caring if we both looked weird.
"Can you not treat me like a ragdoll? You're hurting me!" San barked, but not doing anything but following. It was weird hearing my own voice talk to me like this.
"Ah," I uttered sarcastically. "Now you know what I feel like when I tell you."
San glares at me and I had this urge to just submit, but I carry on. "Don't be a pussy, San."
It was true. San had a habit of grabbing onto my arm when he wanted something, especially now that his only goal in life was to drive me to my grave.
While me and San - or more like, San and me - were having the death march towards my room, the uncomfortable stares of the people we passed were undeniable. Everybody knew San and I hated each other, it wasn't necessarily a secret, so seeing us together was such a treat. 
I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. Sometimes I forget how shallow people can get. Is this the fame that San got everyday? Every stare was a mixture of confusion, awe, and lust.
"You can't just go out like this!" I screamed at a confused San when I closed the door behind me.
"Like what?" he asked. God, it felt weird to hear myself like that.
"That!" I incredulously said, hastily pointing at the nightgown San currently had on me. "You're basically naked, I'm basically naked!"
San rolled his eyes, plopping on my bed with a heaviness that annoyed me. "I tried putting on a bra," he mumbled, his ears red with embarrassment. "Don't look at me like that, I swear I did! How the hell do you women live with that thing? I couldn't breathe!"
I stared at him wide-eyed, a sudden thought infiltrating my mind and making me extremely nervous. "Did you, uhm," I stammered ridiculously. San lifted a brow to stare at me. "Did you look?"
He was confused at first, but when the realization dawned on him, his face reddened too. "No!" San boomed, clearly flustered at the accusation. I deadpanned at him. It was so fascinating.
"Contrary to your popular belief, I'm not like that," he scoffed, staring straight into me. "And you know it. I could say the same to you, though."
It was my turn to scoff at his ludicrousness. "Please," I sneered. "The little worm between your legs isn't even worth snooping at."
San crossed his arms with a dirty smirk on his face. "I suppose that's how I know you didn't look."
"Wha--oh," I faltered when I realized what he was talking about. He cackled when I threw a pillow at him. "You're disgusting," I spat. 
Everything dawns on me all once now that we've talked a little and are in the comfort of my own room. Thank the Gods I insisted on having my own back then, or this would've been more of a nightmare than it already was. 
We didn't say a word to each for a moment, lost in the discernment that we had actually really been switched - that this wasn't a joke and something had happened between us that we had no idea about.
I swallowed the lump that began to form in my throat. What if this was permanent? This could potentially destroy my life, and as much as I am upset with San, I don't wish to ruin his life, either.
I gasped softly when I felt my hand being massaged softly. "Calm down," San murmured. "We'll figure it out."
What was supposed to be relaxing, turned out to be nauseating for me. It's been so long and he still remembers what calms me down.
"This place is surprisingly nice," he said, looking around my room. "Who's paying the rent?"
"I am," I shrugged.
His grip on my hand tightens ever so slightly. "Your mom doesn't?" San asked in contempt.
I looked at him through his narrowed eyes. I can tell that there was no malicious intent behind the question, rather, he was sad. My chest pangs, it had that angst we both had when we were younger.
"As if," I scoffed weakly. "You know how it is, San..."
His eyes switched gears from contempt to cold anger that wasn't necessarily directed towards me. "Mark my words," he snarled. "One day, I will scrap that stepfather of yours, I swear to God, I'm going to--"
"You will do no such thing," I hissed angrily. "And how? Look at us, we're not in our real bodies right now! I don't know if it isn't obvious enough, but I'm not exactly the strongest bunch out there."
"That's not true," San dismisses.
"You don't get it do you? I'm so frustrated and I want to pound my hands on the floor like a toddler!"
"I get it, Y/N--"
"And it had to be you of all people! God, it's so easy to be cruel with you right now but I'm not like you---"
"Can you just shut your trap for once and let me think of what's happening?" San snapped, letting my hand go roughly. 
In my panic, a stupid idea pops in my head. "It was the kiss wasn't it?" I blurted out. I grabbed his (my) shoulders frantically. "We can just kiss again and it will undo itself!"
His eyes widened comically when I leaned down and crashed my lips against his. When nothing happens, I kiss him over and over again, until he pushes me off of him.
"What the hell are you doing?!" San squeaked. It dawned on me what I had just done and I blush hard. The only time I got to kiss San was when I did it myself from his body. What a sad way to live.
"You act like I wanted to do that," I fretted, trying to change the topic. My brain exploded when I saw him lick his lips slowly and his throat bob up when he swallowed. "That's your brain thinking for you, really? N-Not that you ever used it," I stammered.
"It's called being rational," he sighed. "Something you're not."
"Wow, look who's talking," I scoffed. "Spoken like a true asshole, you don't even know what's going on."
"You really are a cunt, aren't you?" San insulted. "Can you just please listen to me for once?" 
"Last time I did that, I was abandoned."
San paused, a flash of regret flashing through his eyes. He knew that I saw, but he made no effort to hide it, so he does what he does best - deflect blame.
"Ah, yes. You say that as if you were the first one to feel it, Y/N. What other insights have you bought me today?"
"I wonder if you're the worst person I've ever met. I hardly recall, but horrid people really do stand out, do they?" I rolled my eyes.
San sighed deeply, clearly frustrated. "Look," he began rubbing my temples. "We're going nowhere here, how about we research for now?"
He pointed at my bed where my laptop was. "We can use that for now. Do you have class today?"
This was how it was between him and I. We'd be fighting like cats and dogs then we'd work together temporarily to solve a problem. "No," I shook my head as I sat on my bed to grab the laptop. "I'm off for four days. Professor Lee is sick."
"Okay, good. We have the same professor," he sat beside me. My heart lurched when I felt the bed dip with the weight. "You want to use that or list information?"
"Paper," I mumbled, handing him the device. "You've always been better at technology."
It was the truth. He hummed in response, typing up stuff I barely even knew to begin with. "What was the last thing you remember last night?"
That was a good question. "I-I don't remember," I trailed off. "How did we both get home?"
"I was awake enough but not for long. I don't remember who took me, but I know Mingi took you home with what's her name, Saeyeon?"
"Seolhyun," I corrected. I felt my throat constricting with the newfound information. 
What San really meant was, 'I fought to be awake until I saw you safe.’
"I'm surprised your bunch didn't leave me stranded out there," I scoffed.
To my surprise, San smiled lightly. "They're not what you think," he said. It left a bad taste in my mouth, but I suppose I respected the love he held for them.
And then we were silent. We brainstormed and tried to research every little thing about our case. It was genuinely frustrating and disheartening, most of the things we found ranged from the supernatural to just pure fallacy.
Our case was purely unique. That or nobody who has experienced it documented it for the world to see. I don't blame them, I wouldn't believe anyone unless I was certain it was fiction.
"What's up?" I asked San, who kept staring at me while I wrote every detail he told me to. Maybe all the anxiety and nervousness I held was because of the way his eyes held me a prisoner.
"Nothing," he shrugged. "It's just that we haven't been in the same room for a long, long time."
I held his stare with a curious look in my eyes. He was right, I hadn't even thought of that. "What exactly are you thinking?"
"That I'm glad it was you," he answered with raw honesty. "This situation isn't ideal for the both of us, but I'm less terrified because it's you."
A puzzle piece of my heart once fell down, because it knew it never belonged there anymore. San left, he didn't belong with me anymore. It struck a nerve, what he just said, because I felt the exact same way - it was either him or nothing.
I nodded, holding my breath because if I didn't, I would say something I will regret. "Did you find anything?"
The small smile on his lips faded, but he nodded despite his feelings. It broke my heart to downgrade my expectations of him. "No," he cleared his throat. "Move in the frat house for the time being with me."
I raised a brow at his suggestion, but on the inside, my heart wanted to leap out my chest and onto San's hand. "Why?"
"I can't stay here, your roommates will notice," he explained. "And you can't stay alone in the frat house. They might look and act like idiots, but they're the furthest from it. They will know."
As much as I hated to admit it, San was right. "Where am I going to stay though?" I frowned.
"In my room. You sleep on the bed, I'll take the floor. We have extra futons," he shrugged nonchalantly.
I agreed immediately. I packed whatever essentials I need and some clothes enough to last me a while, because something is telling me that we're going to be like this for a while.
I left a note for Hyolyn and Seolhyun, saying that I'm going to stay with a friend for now because they're in trouble. Hopefully they don't sense that it's San.
"Don't get any ideas though," I mumbled when we both reached the front door of his frat house. "We're not friends."
He smirked as he rang the doorbell. "Wow. What's got you questioning our friendship?"
"I'm not questioning our friendship, San. I'm denying its existence."
San was about to retort something stupid, when the door suddenly opened. I had to stop myself from drooling at the sight in front of us. It was Kang Yeosang.
"Sannie?" a shirtless Yeosang appeared from the doorway. I knew he was handsome, but goddamn. "Why are you ringing the doorbell?"
I felt a sharp jab to my side, it was San elbowing me. "Uh, h-hi, can I s-stay here with him--her!" I stammered pathetically.
Yeosang stared at me like I was crazy. "You live here, San." 
Fuck.
Before I could incriminate myself further, San grabbed my arm and began pushing past an even more confused Yeosang. I heard him - me - curse under his breath when we reached the living room. 
Everyone was in there, I mean literally every single one of them, Ateez, were just lounging. They all turned to us with a mixture of shock and bewilderment. I get it, though. Me and San being together in one room without fighting was a miracle in itself.
"Don't ask!" San shouted as he dragged me into his room. It must have been because all they see is a tiny woman dragging a bigger man.
When he closed the door behind us, he laid it all out on me. "Seriously, Y/N?" he hissed. "Yeosang got you panting like a bitch in heat?"
"What can I say?" I taunted him. "I appreciate a hunk when I see one."
"You're lucky it wasn't Jongho," he seethed as he arranged the extra futon he was referring to on the floor. "Jongho would've literally chewed you out on the spot for acting weird."
I didn't bother replying. How was I supposed to tell him that he has been the only guy I've seen shirtless before?
We decided that tomorrow is another day, hopefully back in our respective bodies, and we can discuss tomorrow about our next move. For now, we will sleep.
It was comfortable, at least for me, I was in San's bed wrapped up in his scent. I shamelessly inhaled his pillow deeply, God, I've always loved his scent even before and especially now. I sighed, not being able to sleep despite being comfortable. He's matured now, both in looks and the way he acts.
After an hour or so of just thinking, sleep crept up to me, until it didn't.
"Y/N?"
My mind didn't register what I was hearing until San repeated my name over and over again. I got up and saw him already sitting down on the bed. "San? What's up?" I asked groggily.
"Can you help me? I-I'm scared," he stuttered, shaking his leg a bit. I guess some things don't change, San always does that when nervous.
I turned the lampshade he had on so I could take a better look at him. He was pale and genuinely scared. My heart started to hammer against my chest and I grabbed his hand out of reflex.
"Sannie?" I gently asked. "Tell me what's wrong."
"I-I think I'm dying," he professed. "M-My stomach h-hurts bad..."
Well, that woke me up completely. "Come again?" I blinked repeatedly at him.
With shaking hands, he pointed at the floor and at first I didn't see it, but when my eyes focused, I saw what appeared to be droplets of blood.
"Sannie," I called out. "Stand up for me, I need to look at something."
He did as asked and I sighed. As expected, the crotch area of his pajamas had blood on them. For the first time in a while, I felt bad for him.
"I'm sorry," I apologized genuinely. "I didn't know I'd be having my period so soon."
San's face drops in realization and relief when he hears that it was only technically 'his' period and he wasn't bleeding randomly to death. "Seriously, though?" I teased. "You had a sister and a mother, how could you not know?"
"You had me and male friends but you technically didn't know how it felt peeing from a dick," he snapped. 
"Touché," I chortled. I stood up from the bed and put a soiled shirt of mine on the bed and guided him to lay down on it. "I'm gonna go back to my dorm to get some pads for you," I mumbled.
"No need," he groaned. "Ask the first person you see downstairs. We have them on stash somewhere for people who visit."
I raised a brow at that. "You got so many bitches come over, you have feminine products on standby?"
San narrowed his eyes on me. "I told you," he gritted his teeth. "We're not like that. Hurry up, please. I think I'm going to throw up."
I laughed on the way out of his room. I want to leave him to suffer honestly, but unfortunately, I'm not like that. It was satisfying enough for a man to experience how difficult periods are for women.
I went back to the living room since it was the only place I knew for now, and I wasn't surprised to see it empty except for one man - Jeong Yunho. 
The senior law student sensed my presence and turned to look at me in surprise. "You're still awake?" he asked with a smile.
"I could say the same to you," I laughed nervously, hoping to appear normal by joking around. As far as he knows, I'm San. "D-Do you know where the pads are?"
I was expecting him to be disgusted and make a nasty joke about it, after all, most men are, but no. He nodded with a hum. To be fair, Yunho was well known on campus to be a gentleman, but still.
"We're out of them," he sighed. My heart dropped low in my stomach when he said it, but then he continued. "I'll see if I have some in my room. Come with me."
"In your room?" I asked flabbergasted as I followed him.
"Yeah. Yeni usually leaves hers here in case of an accident," he mumbled, rummaging through his unsurprisingly organized room. "I'm assuming Y/N had hers?"
I nodded slowly. Yunho acknowledged me with another hum. "You can ask Seonghwa for the stain remover. Check the balcony."
My mouth dropped in surprise. Yunho is talking about periods like it's the most normal thing in the world! While it is, frat boys are the last people on Earth to be totally fine with it!
"Here," Yunho handed me a couple of pads. "Goodluck, man."
When Yunho left, I was still frozen on the spot. On campus, Ateez were the typical party boys that ruled and were worshiped by everyone. There were many who disliked them, including me, but have I misunderstood them?
We'll see. Maybe it's only Yunho. I traversed through the whole house, careful not to be too loud since it was past midnight, and the balcony wasn't actually too difficult to find. I blushed when I saw a serious looking Seonghwa only wearing a tank top while he was buried in a mountain of books.
"Yunho?" I heard him ask without looking in my direction.
I was extremely nervous at this point. What if I say something and he'll catch on and figure out that I'm not San?
"N-No, it's me," I whispered. God, pretending to be San was a lot harder than it seemed.
He pauses from reading and looks up at me. I gulped when his sharp eyes hit me. From a distance, even on campus, Park Seonghwa had always looked intimidating to me, and right now, I wanted to bury myself in the ground with his scrutiny.
"San," he drawled with a small smirk. He glances at the pads on my hand. "You need the stain remover."
I nodded, not daring to say a word. It was unsettling, the way he looked at me as if he could see right through me. "Well?" Seonghwa asked in a tense voice.
"W-What?" I stammered.
"You bring the girl that hates your guts without me and Hongjoong's permission, you don't have anything to say about that?"
I bit my lip apprehensively. I'm going to strangle San the minute I get the hell out of here. "I-I'm sorry," was all I could say.
He sighed deeply. "I'm sure you have your reasons," he mused. "I don't mind her, I quite admire her spirit. She doesn't conform to the status quo and doesn't worship us mindlessly for no reason."
I didn't know if I should be even more terrified now or flustered with the compliment. "However," he continued. "Hongjoong is different. He's a little upset you're not standing up for yourself when she badmouths you. You're lucky he's at his internship abroad."
"It's not like you don't know I hate her as well," I blurted out before I could stop myself, but it was too late. I won't be scrutinized here when San hates me more.
"You do?" Seonghwa was puzzled. "But I thought," he sighed. "Whatever, you'll figure it out. Run along, stain remover is in your bathroom. I cleaned it earlier. I'll buy some ice cream for her. Did you get the warm compress?"
I was flabbergasted. "What?"
Seonghwa rolled his eyes. "For her cramps, you half wit. No wonder she hates you."
I thought nothing could shock me anymore than Yunho's kind attitude, but Seonghwa cleaning the bathroom? And he's pretty nonchalant about periods too! How in the world are they so normal about this? Of course I knew what warm compresses are!
And these are exactly what I told San when I came back to the room. Telling him that they ran out of pads was embarrassing, and apparently the pads I got were for when Yunho's cousin comes over, and the interaction with Seonghwa.
"Are you scared of Hongjoong?" San asked. He looked too amused for my liking.
"I'm more scared of Seonghwa, to be honest," I shrugged. "Put this blindfold on, I'm going to undress you."
San blinked at me, but did so anyway. It felt damn weird technically dressing myself. We got into the shower and San surprisingly wasn't making lewd comments, but I can see the blush rising up on his cheeks. It was my body, so I knew how it functioned.
"Seonghwa looks intimidating because of the way he carries himself," San said as I took my pajamas off of him. "I remember being more terrified of Hongjoong when I first met him. His tongue is sharp---can you be careful? It's ticklish."
"You know I'm ticklish," I mumbled. "Sharp how?"
"In a sense that he doesn't have to stick a knife in your chest to kill you," he chuckled. "How long do I have to wear these?"
"I'll let you know if we have to change it," I replied with my own blush. It felt so damn weird changing San, but technically it was my body I'm putting clothes on. But still, maybe I should just let San see my body?
I shook my head apprehensively, my face getting redder and redder because of how ludicrous my own thoughts were. No way I'd let him see even if it was hard.
"This feels so fucking weird," he whined as he kept adjusting himself. "It feels like I'm wearing a diaper!"
For the first time since we had switched bodies, I couldn't help but laugh out loud at his claim. San looks at me weirdly before laughing out loud as well. My heart didn't hurt this time, rather, I felt it healing.
"Usually, I'm a tampon person," I wiped an imaginary tear from my eyes. "But I don't think you will appreciate something inside you."
San's cheeks look like tomatoes at this point. "Yeah, you're right," he mumbled. "Thanks for the compress, it feels better."
I glanced at him shifting uncomfortably on the floor, tossing and turning to find the perfect sleeping position, but to no avail.
I sighed. "San," I called out. He took a peek at me. "Sleep here for now," I said, patting the side of the bed softly. His eyes widen into saucers. "Please."
He stayed unmoving, contemplating whether I was being serious or not. I don't blame him, this is the gentlest we've both been to each other since four years ago. When I scooted to make some space, he had resolved and decided to lay down next to me.
"Thanks," he groaned in pain after. "So this is what you guys go through every month?"
"Mhhm," I mumbled. "I'll help you."
"Why?" he smirked. "We're not friends, right?"
I pretended to be asleep so I could avoid him. I hope he can't hear how loud my heart is beating right now. He gave up and fell asleep himself. I can feel his body heat next to me, searing hotly. We used to sleep in one bed when we were younger, so what makes this one any different? I had no idea.
Soon enough, I didn't have to pretend to sleep. Then, I had another dream...
I winced in pain when San dabbed an alcohol-soaked cotton ball on my lips. "Please, Sannie, it really hurts," I cried.
"Shh, just bear with it okay? I don't want it to get infected," he hushed, his brows furrowed in concentration mixed with a little bit of displeasure.
"A-Are you mad?" I squeaked.
"No. Stay still."
"But you look mad."
He sighed, his hand caressing my cheek. I lean into it, hissing in pain once more. I forgot I had a bruise there as well. He cursed under his breath.
"I'm not mad," he confessed, his fingers lightly tracing the bruises, both old and new, across my face and neck. "At least not at you."
I gasped lightly when planting a small kiss at my forehead, his lips lingering on my skin longer than it should. "I'm so sorry, Sannie."
"Stop," he warned. "I never want to hear that from you." He plants another kiss on my bruised cheek. Suddenly, the pain wasn't there anymore. "I'm going to kill them, Y/N, I swear I'm going to," he growled.
I held his hand and gripped on it. Tears started falling from my cheeks and his eyes softened. "I-I'm fine, please don't," I begged. "He's just stressed, that's all--"
"Oh, for fuck's sake, enough of that bullshit!" San roared loudly, slamming his hands on the table. I whimpered loudly at the sound. "He's supposed to be your father, Y/N, and look at what he's doing to you!"
"I know, San, please," I wept.
"You have to report this, Y/N, I don't want to see you in a morgue one day," he pleaded. "If your mom had still been alive..."
His voice cracked towards the end. I pulled him towards me in a reassuring hug and we cried together as good friends did. "Live with me, Y/N, I'll take care of you," he implored in a way that broke my heart into little pieces.
And just like before, I have to tell him that I can't. "My stepfather will find me," I sobbed. "I can't let him hurt you."
That night I slept in San's room, on his bed while we talked all night about our dreams, with all the love and appreciation I never got with my own family.
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The bloody period, figuratively and literally, was over and me and San took a break from all the fighting because even though I laughed at his pain, I did feel bad. My cramps often left me unable to walk sometimes.
I have to say, it wasn't all that bad. I have found utmost joy in opening jars that I wouldn't usually normally have in my real body. I can also reach higher places now and experience my feet touching the floor whenever I'm sitting down. In turn, I had to laugh at San's experience. He's so used to being big and strong and he's experiencing the opposite of mine.
"Can you stop pouting and act normal?" San hissed at me. "You're going to ruin my reputation like that—stop fiddling with it!"
"I'll just replace it with something else," I protested with an edge to my voice. "Seriously, it looks stupid."
San glared at me while fixing his jeans, my jeans, on him. "It's just an earring," he rolled his eyes dramatically. "I wear what you tell me, you don't see me complaining, do you?"
I sighed, annoyed. "Fine."
"Why? I can't do fashion?" he raised a brow at me.
We set out to leave my dorm this time. We've perfected our routine somewhat, by nighttime we go to the frat house, but by dawn we leave to go to mine before everyone wakes up. It was flawless because my roommates barely stay, the last thing I want is for people to think me and San live together. At least on my end. Surprisingly, Ateez has been very hush-hush about it.
"You tell me," I scoffed as we both walked towards campus. "I take it's the same reason you always dye your bangs blonde."
San paused from walking, stiffening as he stared on the floor with a faraway look in his eyes. I frown, looking back at him. He was already staring at me seriously. "Meaning?"
I shrugged nonchalantly. "What else?" He waits expectantly. "Come on, you know why. Do you not hear and see the other girls flocking and moaning your name repeatedly when they see you?"
He narrowed his eyes. "So basically, what you mean is I do it to pick up some pussy."
I was taken aback by his vulgarity. "Is there any other reason?"
"I don't know, have you ever seen me entertain a girl?"
I stop and all is quiet, hardly even a breeze around us. I bit my lip, deep in thought. He was right, there were obviously playboys but San's name was never involved in it.
He smirked, and I had to stop myself from cringing. Did I look that dumb when I did it? "So tell me," I dismissed.
"Let's just keep the peace, shall we?"
Taking a deep breath, we walked in the common area, the hallways, and the moment we did, people started talking. It was a horrible symphony I've heard over and over, but never before towards me. What would you do if fire and ice started acting as if they went well with one another?
"I didn't take you to be a philanthropist," I muttered, deflecting the whispers and the stares. The stares I got as San was good, but the stares that San got as me were the opposite, and he was taking it well.
"Well, we didn't necessarily get along that well, didn't we?" San smirked. "We still don't. Anyway, let's summarize what we researched so far before we get in class."
"Nil, zilch, nada, zip. Nothing except that it might be a curse," I sighed.
"Do you believe in that?" San frowned.
"It's a bit too late not to," I laughed sarcastically. "We're not in our respective bodies."
"Right. Do you remember what happened that day?" 
"It was raining, we were fighting, then accidentally kissed, then boom."
San stared at me, amused at the blush on - his - my cheeks. "We kissed again," he smirked. "Never really undid it, so that's out."
"This was a bad idea, we can't talk here," I shuddered at the stares directed towards us.
Suddenly his phone rings, and he frowns when he sees the caller ID. "It's Mingi," he sighed. "Pick it up."
I took the phone reluctantly. "What should I say?"
"Just go with whatever. He just looks rough but, Mingi's harmless," he assured. "Oh, and call him Mangi."
I raised a brow. I can't imagine the daunting Song Mingi being called by a cute nickname. "H-Hello? Mangi?"
"Oh, Sannie!" I was surprised how deep Mingi's voice was on the phone. "It's game night tonight before Thanksgiving, you in?"
"Yes?" I squawked out when San stomped on my foot. This brat!
"You sound unsure?" Mingi chuckled on the other end. "Figures. You've been with her lately. Finally, you learned how to have some balls. How is she anyway? Haven't seen her since that night."
I raised a brow. I decided to ignore that, it must be fraternity lingo. "G-Good, a little frazzled, but good."
"Good to hear. Well, tell her we all wish her good luck at the finals. I'll see you."
"Wait--oh damn," I trailed off when Mingi hung up. "What do we do?"
San took his phone back and patted my shoulders hard. I glared at him. "What else? You go," he smirked. "I have an exam to take, do I?"
I pushed his hand away from me. Here we go again. "Choi San, I've been studying my ass off for the very exam you're going to take for me," I hissed. "If you fail, I swear to God I will sell my soul to Satan just so I could live longer than you and shit on your grave when you die."
He cackled very loudly. "Oh my, that was a good one," he grinned. "Easy peasy, I'll take care of it."
"San, I'm being serious, please."
"I am too," he retorted, clearly offended. "You think I can't handle it? My major is harder and you know it."
"Biology and Economics are two very, very different things," I rolled my eyes. "You think this is peanuts?"
"Yeah, what did you major in? Stupidity?" San chuckles sardonically. I was about to slap his arm but then I stopped when I remembered that for now, I'm not a woman - that meant I would be a man hitting a woman. San seemed to realize it as well and smirked dirtily in my direction.
"I'll definitely fail you---"
"San!"
"Go to the frat house," he shrugged. "And pack your things after."
"Why? You're kicking me out?" I sarcastically asked.
"No," he scoffed. "Thanksgiving at my parents. You up?"
I paused, my features softening. I haven't seen his parents in years, the only people who actually cared for my well being and helped me when I needed it the most. I was forever grateful to them.
"Which car?" I asked.
His face lit up and I had to smile a little. "You wanna drive?" San smiled back.
The smile I was holding back showed itself at the question. I nodded enthusiastically. San remembered. When we were younger, driving was the only thing that relieved my stress when my stepfather abused me.
"What the hell are you looking at?" he hissed when I zeroed in on someone I saw walking from behind him. "Hurry before Mingi calls again!"
"Hold on, my senior is approaching, please act normal," I glared at him. "Or I will skin you alive."
“Ha! I’d like to see you try,” he rolled his eyes. “Seriously? You’re going to give us out!”
And just like that, we were back at our old ways of bickering. A really good friend of mine, Jeno, approached me with the cheeriest smile on his face while San and I just walked aimlessly around the campus.
"That's him? Seriously?" San snapped. "Wasn't that the guy who had been crushing on you since freshman year?"
"How the hell did you know about that?" I stared at him accusingly.
"Word travels fast," he shrugged, clearly annoyed. Then, he had this devilish grin on his face.
"Don't you dare, Choi San, don't you fucking dare---"
"Hey, Y/N!" Jeno finally jogged to both of us, panting a bit to catch his breath. He turns to me and nods slightly. "San."
"I'm sorry, what's your name?" San asked Jeno with that innocent look I used a lot on him.
My eyes widened and the world stopped for a moment. "Uhm, don't you remember me?" Jeno laughed nervously. "It's Jeno?"
"Nah, I could have sworn it was something dumber than that," San grinned mockingly.
Both Jeno and I gasped in shock at San's antics. I grabbed him before he could incriminate the both of us further. "Ah," I interrupted. " I hate to cut this short, but wow, I forgot we had to hurry and leave, haha."
"Yeah, you do that," Jeno trailed off in a daze.
I dragged San rather harshly, not caring if the people around us thought that I was manhandling a poor woman, yeah, my ass!
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I screamed at him. "You can't just act like that when you don't like someone?"
San looked at me mockingly. "What, you like him, is that it?"
"Are you for real?!" I gritted my teeth. "Why are you dead set on ruining my life? Ugh!"
"I don't have an ax to grind with you though," he grinned.
"No, San. You just want to bury it in my back!"
I walked off and he followed me while he laughed his ass off. God, we were such a ticking time bomb together. Soon enough he was able to catch up to me, and before we knew it we were pretty much at the frat house at this point. We kept bickering and bickering, our taunts borderline offensive at this point.
True to his word, Mingi did call back just like San predicted. "This isn't over!" I glared at him.
With that, I put all my trust in San and went running to the frat house. I collected all the nerves I had stood strong in front of the door. 
Truth be told, my heart was pounding extremely fast. Even though they seemed kind so far, that was when I - technically San - was here. Now it was just going to be "just the boys".
"Hey, there he is! The man of the hour," Mingi beamed, ushering me inside where food and drinks lay all over the living room.  
"What's all of this?" I murmured, sitting beside the only person I knew so far - Wooyoung, since he would pester San - me - a lot, and for absolutely no reason, Yunho.
"You've been acting weird since you passed out that night," Yeosang shrugged. Cold sweat dripping from my scalp, did they know? I laughed nervously.
"What the hell is going on?" Yunho started. "Seriously San, are you okay?"
"Y-Yes, why do you ask?" I stammered, my heart beating a thousand miles per hour. The room felt small, like it was closing in on me.
"Something's wrong with you," Yunho narrowed his eyes. "It's like you're not you, for some reason."
I was nauseous at the remark, and I have never ever felt the urge to throw up like I was feeling right now. Were we and San that bad in acting?
"You don't talk to me anymore either," Wooyoung frowned. It was the most serious I've ever seen him. "Is it her?"
My chest felt like it might explode from all the questions getting thrown at me. It clicked all of a sudden - did they plan this "game" night just to pry? Did they know?
"Listen," Seonghwa sighed, reaching over to pat me on the shoulders. "Let's solve this before Hongjoong comes back. Tell us, San, do you have a problem?"
"No, I don't I swear!" I remarked a little too enthusiastically than I wanted to.
"Relax, we're not mad at you," Seonghwa frowned. "Mingi, tell everyone what you noticed."
The deep-voiced, criminal justice senior student cleared his throat. "The fact that you and Y/N come back late at night when you think no one is awake?" Mingi smirked. "Or is it when both of you leave at dawn when you think nobody is awake?"
This is where me and San fucked up. Of course everyone would notice, Mingi was the son of a renowned detective, Yunho was a law student, Seonghwa took sociology, Yeosang and Wooyoung were just damn observant. Jongho, I don't interact with that much.
"Is college getting too hard on you? Affecting your mental health?" Wooyoung thoughtfully asked.
Yeosang shook his head in amusement. "It's alright, we know you're pussy whipped."
I blush in embarrassment. San? With me? Impossible.
"I mean I get it," Wooyoung cackled with that annoyingly loud screech of his. "She's the talk of the campus right now."
My brain shut off immediately. Me? My eyes slowly widened with the thought of San doing something that will embarrass the living hell out of me. "W-What? Why?"
"Oh, you haven't heard?" Yunho raised a brow. "Your girl did a little too well on her finals. Who said it, Woo?"
"Changbin," Wooyoung chimed in. "He supervised the presentation and written exams." He teasingly wiggled his brows. "Said it reminded him of how you talk, it's like you guys switched bodies for a day or something."
I froze at that comment, my face twitching in an attempt to stop myself from falling apart at the moment.
I looked around and sighed in relief, it was just a joke. That was a close call. I’m literally sweating out of my pores. I tried to distract myself by listening to their banter, and soon enough, everyone forgot about me.
Except for one person.
Choi Jongho kept zeroing on me with an expression I couldn't pinpoint. I knew that he's aware that I noticed, yet he didn't look away. It was like he was dissecting me alive with his eyes and studying the composition of what made me, well, me.
I tried to brush it off, San did mention that Jongho was the atypical maknae - he didn't revel in being the youngest, rather, he would exercise its power and use it against everyone. If he wasn't staring at me like this, I would have found it cute.
"Ya, Mingi, stop clowning around and pass the food," Yunho rolled his eyes.
"Seonghwa is nearer!" Mingi blurted out.
I laughed when the dragon-looking elder raised a brow and everyone was suddenly friendly again to each other.
"Going home for Thanksgiving?" Yeosang asked curiously. I nodded, not wanting to say a word in case I gave myself away. I put food in my mouth so I have an excuse.
As much as I hated to admit it, but I understood why San chose them over me. They were fun to be around, and it was the type of friendship that extended outside college; it was the type you'd have forever.
Suddenly, the door opened and we all turned around to see San - technically it was my body - standing by the doorway. It got silent as everyone stared at him as he slowly went upstairs. I saw the pain in his eyes and I felt awful because he couldn't join in.
"Y/N, don't go."
It was Jongho. "There's plenty of meat for everyone. Come."
My heart swelled. That was technically San in my body, but in extension, it was like Jongho was asking me to join. I felt relieved, they never really talked to "me" like that, just the occasional greeting.
And just like that it was back to normal. I can tell San was happy, meat was his favourite food after all.
I dropped my chopsticks. They clattered on the table and no one seemed to notice. I looked at the meat, and then San, and then Jongho, who was already staring at me with a blank look in his eyes.
My eyes widened when he smiled, genuinely smiled, at me. He mouthed something I quickly understood because San said the same thing to me.
"I'm glad it was you."
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I felt like crying when we finally reached San's parents house after a couple of hours driving. Nostalgia hit me hard as I stared at the door, a symbol of hope I had when I was younger. 
"Let's take it easy here, okay?" San knocked on the door a couple of times. "I don't want my mom suspecting anything."
"As long as you don't piss me off we're good," I rolled my eyes, fixing my outfit even though I have to pretend to be San anyway.
"I can't help it," he chuckled. "We have to figure out how to survive, I suppose. Plus, it's only 2 days. You got something?"
"Yeah, San. High blood pressure."
San laughed really loud. "I love your comebacks," he drawled. "It turns me on--"
He was interrupted when the door suddenly opened before I could smack San. There stood the person who took care of me the most, smiling with tears of joy in the corner of her eyes.
"Oof!" San exclaimed when his own mom hugged him - me - instead.
"Y/N, my dear, I'm glad San," she glared at me, thinking I was her son. I had to stop the urge to laugh. "Finally bought you home! Oh, it's been so long!"
"L-Long time no see, Mo--Mrs. Choi," he nervously laughed, glancing at me for help. I pretended that the floor was suddenly interesting.
"Come along, both of you, I prepared so much food," she beamed, grabbing both of our hands and leading us inside the house. I loved how she always reached out to me first even after all these years. I knew San didn't mind either.
We exchanged greetings with his father, who also stood by me, and his sister, a friend I had when San was busy. Even the most mundane things felt so normal to me here. Finally, after so long, I was finally home.
When we were seated at the dining table, my soul felt at peace when I sat in my original seat. They cared for me so much, they designated a chair for me. It's a shame San ruined everything.
"So, biology treating you, kiddo?" Mr. Choi smiled at me while he put some meat on my plate. "Eat up, son."
"Wonderful. Graduating this year," I replied. I kept my answers short even though I had so much to tell. It was just how San was. 
Mr. Choi put his hand on my shoulders and I couldn't help but smile at it. Granted, he thought it was his son, but still. I'm going to take all that I can get. He mentions how proud he was and I couldn't help but revel in it.
Dinner was pretty fun, the most I've had in years. We just fell into the rhythm, not caring about what will happen to both of us in the future.
"So, Y/N, any news I should know between you and my Sannie?" Mrs. Choi beams, wiggling her eyebrows in a teasing manner.
San continues eating, and I clear my throat. He looks startled and I point my eyes sharply at his mom. "I'm sorry?"
Mrs. Choi giggles like a teenage girl looking for gossip. It was honestly so cute. "Anything going on between you and San?"
San heaved a long sigh. "No, Mom, nothing is," he grumbled silently. 
I choked on my food, and everyone's utensils clattered on their plates. This idiot!
He noticed everyone looking at him with wide eyes. "W-What?" San cowers a bit at the attention. As if lightning hit him, his own eyes widened and he started to wave around like a fool as he realized what was up. "No, no, wait, it's not--"
Mr. Choi hits my back proudly and I choke more. "That's my boy! Finally, we knew this would happen!"
We couldn't even put a word in, Mrs. Choi was already tearing up and sniffling and hugging San. He gulped when I glared at him hard. Communication by staring does wonders for both of us. "Oh, finally, my babies are together," she sniffled.
And that was how we both ended up in his room together despite protesting that we shouldn't. 
"You blithering idiot!" I laid it all on him, and pulled his - my - hair hard. Now I get why people do it.
"Ow!" San screamed furiously. "Stop! You ungrateful bitch that hurts!"
"You slipped, how can you slip?!" I screamed.
He got pissed and reached up to pull my ear down in his direction. I yelped in pain. "That's my mother, how can I not miss?!" 
"Your mom thinks we're dating! Are you okay with that?" I pushed him down rather aggressively. He glared at this 'you-dare-use-my-own-strength-on-me' look.
"It's fine. That's where it will end anyway," he shrugged, plopping on his bed lazily.
"No. I'd rather gouge my eyes with a spoon," I scoffed, but on the inside, I was screaming in confusion.
He raised an offended brow up. "Goddamn it, if you think I'm unattractive just fucking say so."
"That's the problem, San. I think you're alarmingly attractive."
A dark look passes through his eyes. It's crazy that even though I was looking at my own eyes, it looked so much like San's instead. Before I could take back what I said, I was pulled harshly towards the bed. I yelped when the bed came in contact and my breath stopped when I saw San hovering over me.
"So, you think I'm hot?" San smirked.
I tried very hard not to look in the eye, focusing on the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.
"I think you're insane," I laughed nervously.
"You know what?" San whispered. "Maybe this weird shit happening to us wasn't so bad after all."
I completely stopped breathing when he leaned down to my ear, the same ear he pulled earlier. "We would've graduated and never saw each other again." 
That was true. All I ever wanted was to move on with my life, and I was prepared to do it without San, even though it would have killed me.
"You betrayed me," I whispered back, my voice cracking with all the emotions I hid from him all these years ago. "You gave me back to that monster. Look."
With a shaky hand, I pulled the dress I made him wear on my body to reveal a badly disfigured shoulder. It was ugly; disgusting. The skin was mangled with burn marks and had darkened in time. Unshed tears started to pool in the corner of my eyes as San's jaw tightens. 
"How could you do this to me?" I questioned. It was the same question I asked him four years ago.
He adjusted the dress back on his shoulder and held my hand on his. He put it against his lips and kissed it so tenderly, I barely felt it. "I am so sorry," he sighed. "You will understand one day."
My brows shot up in confusion. This was the first time I was hearing this. "What do you mean?"
"Why don't we sleep for now? We'll talk tomorrow?" 
I frowned, angry, and I wanted to be angry, but I was too tired to be angry at him because there was no point in feeling so. I knew he was changing the topic and even if he pretended to be fine, it was the fine details - the ticking of his eyes, the quivering of his lips, the slight breathing pattern change, the dilation of his pupils. He was extremely angry.
I gulped. "San--"
"Please," he pleaded, his voice barely audible from my ears. "Can we pretend for one night that nothing had ever changed between us?"
He wiped one lone tear that escaped from my eye, and for the first time since it had happened, I cursed the Gods for switching us callously. I wanted to feel his arms against mine, his soft breaths hitting my skin as he shielded from every trouble that dared touch me. 
But no. I was San for now, and he was me.
The air was tangible, one wrong word and the little bubble we had wrapped ourselves will pop. I laid on the bed with San giving my head little pecks here and there.
"You know," I began. "I never got to thank you for getting me an A++ on my finals."
He chuckled from above me. "They told you before I came back, didn't they?"
I hummed in response, but not saying anything back. Once again it was silent, the only thing we could hear was our breathing. Dare I say it was the most comfortable thing I've ever heard.
"Y/N?" San suddenly asked. When I didn't respond he continued. "What if one day, you find out that everything you knew was a lie?"
I tensed against his hold. I wasn't expecting a question that deep right now. "Is this about why you left me?"
"Answer the question."
"I don't know, Sannie. It depends on the lie," I responded. "I don't even know you anymore."
It was his turn to tense. It was a mirror of his anxiety. He cleared his throat rather loudly. "There's a lot about you that you don't know, Y/N."
"Like what?"
He taps my nose with his finger before they go up and fluff the blonde piece of hair he had. "For one," he smirked. "I don't dye this. I have poliosis. Haneul has one too, she just dyes hers dark."
I was at a loss for words, dumbfounded at the revelation. "What?" I almost screeched. "You never told me this!"
He tucked me inside the blanket, almost lovingly, just like I used to when we were younger. "The world is cruel to people like me who are different, I didn't want you to think I was a freak," he shrugged and I felt my heart breaking into pieces. "I'm so sick of seeing my failures in your eyes."
My chest exploded with a million emotions and it hit me - I still loved him. I was in love with him then, and I am still in love with him now.
"San," I spoke with uncertainty, looking deep into his eyes.
There was so much I wanted to say. Falling in love with him was easy, it was admitting to myself how hard I fell. When he asked what if my life was a lie, he didn't know that I was the one lying to myself. I suppose he never noticed, and I could ask him, but what's the point? 
For now, we were here, and I was glad.
"Where are we going?" I asked nervously when San lead to an unfamiliar route from the road we were supposed to take. His hold on my hand loosened and I felt him shaking.
"Just a little bit, we're almost there," he cryptically said.
"I'm so excited," I giggled. "Are you excited?"
"Y-Yeah, I am," he replied. I frowned, maybe he was just as nervous as I was.
We finally ran away, San had finally taken me away from my monster of a stepfather who did nothing but destroy me as a person, but guess what? He will never succeed.
That is, until I saw his red car parked in the far distance, the moonlight shining on it as if it was mocking me.
"San?" I croaked, halting my steps. I knew I wasn't seeing things, that was him. "San!"
I felt him pull into my hand and when I wasn't moving, he forcefully pulled me until we reached that dreaded car. I was a crying mess, especially at the thought of my only friend betraying me. 
"San, please, don't do this to me," I begged over and over again, reaching to him pitifully when my stepfather grabbed my hair roughly and pushed me into his car. "San, please!"
He stood there, watching as we drove away. I pounded on the back windows, hoping he would snap out of whatever it was that urged him to do this, but nothing. He just stood there, until he was no more.
"Sit properly, you whore!" I heard my stepfather scream.
"Let me go, you demon, just let me go!" I screamed.
"Shut the fuck up, yeah?" he snarled, taking the cigarette from his dirty mouth and extinguishing it on my exposed shoulder.
Now that I think of it, he was acting extremely odd that day. Even if it had been that long already, I knew he wasn't himself. That was four years ago, surprisingly, the abuse did stop. The broken bones and repetitive bruises had healed over time. That rat knows he can't beat me into submission anymore since I was in college now.
Suddenly, his phone rings and when he glances at the caller ID, he curses loudly. "Fuck," he gulped. "It's Hongjoong."
My heart dropped to my stomach. I've been a squatter in the frat house and I've never interacted with the one and only Kim Hongjoong. "I thought he was overseas?"
"Not anymore, I guess. I'll handle it," he murmured. "Hello?"
“Ah, Y/N. Fancy talking to you.”
We froze, cringing hard. San just mindlessly answered the phone, forgetting that he was in my body with my voice. Hongjoong continued before San replied.
"Dare I say that the owner of this phone is with you since you have it?"
"Yes," San coughed. He quickly covered the phone and turned to me. "See what I mean? He's sharp-tongued," he hissed. "Are you back?"
"Interesting. Listen, I got nothing against you, sweetheart, you'll get your turn soon. Pass the phone to San."
Oh, he was pissed. San blabbers, "But--"
"Now."
San reluctantly passes the phone to me. "H-Hello?" I stammered.
"Choi San, do you take me as stupid?"
My eyes widened, dread filling my body. "N-No, not at all."
"Yeah? You think I didn't know you were sneaking around at night and morning? Come home. We need to talk."
"B-But--"
"I know your schedule. You didn't even say goodbye before Thanksgiving. I'm warning you, San. I'm at the airport and you better be back before I do, or else. Drive safe."
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Unfortunately, we had to cut that trip short by a day. It was hard to tell his parents, but the assurance of me and San being "together" seemed to make them happy.
"You have to fix this before it gets too far," I frowned at San while we walked back to the frat house. "I don't want to break your mom's heart."
"I will figure it out," he rolled his eyes.
I snapped. "Which means you'll let it slide and hope they'll forget! You owe me, Choi San, you screwed me over with Lee Jeno too!"
"Oh, for crying out loud, Y/N!" San glared harshly at me. "He just wants to get into your pants!"
There was still one day left of vacation so there was nobody around the campus to hear both of us scream at each other's ear. It wasn't until San stopped talking and walking all together when I realized that something was wrong.
And something was very wrong indeed.
"San," I gasped in total shock.
There, in front of the frat house was the red car that I rode every time I had to go to the nearest clinic from all the abuse and trauma I had to endure during my early years. We can both hear my stepfather arguing loudly with none other than Seonghwa, and he was both looking for me and San.
"For the last time, I don't know where they are!" Seonghwa screamed, the anger and authority rolling off of him even from a distance. "And even if I did, I would never tell you."
My stepfather smirks dirtily. "Watch your mouth, boy, I could knock you out right now," he spat.
"I'd like to see you try--stay in the damn house, Yeosang. Tell Hongjoong to hurry up," Seonghwa rolled his eyes, crossing his arms haughtily at my stepfather.
"Get him the fuck out of here then," Yeosang growled. I was stunned, I have never heard him so angry before.
My stepfather seethes in anger at Seonghwa and Yeosang's insubordination. If there was one thing he hated, it was when someone else had the upper hand.
San protectively puts his body in front of me to protect me, not that it mattered, he was in my body; my weak body.
I held onto San for balance. We weren't supposed to be back today and Seonghwa knew it. "Stay with me, okay?" San whispered. "We're going back in the car, watch your step."
But it was too late. I accidentally stepped on a drying leaf, and its crunching sound as my foot hit it reverberated all over the empty campus grounds. I was shaking at this point, the fight between me and San long forgotten when Seonghwa and Yeosang stared at us in shock from the distance.
"San, I'm scared," I whimpered pathetically.
"I'm going to handle this, okay?" San assured me, but even I could hear the tremble in his voice.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't my lovely daughter?" my wretched stepfather cackled evilly as he started to walk towards us.
Here was the monster that ruined my life, standing in the very place I was expecting him to pop out the least, in the flesh. There was something so profoundly evil about him, he was so rotten to the core that I was surprised he hadn't started decaying from the inside.
"I am no daughter of yours," San seethed, still shielding me from behind. I shook his shoulders hurriedly in panic. I whispered, terrified, that he hated it when I backtalked.
Even after all these years, years I spent on campus because I refused to go home even on vacations, I was still utterly terrified of this man. When Seonghwa tried to approach us, I shook my head vigorously.
"No?" my stepfather smirked. "Being in this dump has taught you to be disobedient, yes?"
I screamed when he aggressively slapped San square in the face, something I knew hurt since I've been the target of that for years. My heart stopped when I completely forgot that San was in my body, and that body was weak.
"Wake up, please, wake up, don't leave me again," I sobbed as my stepfather laughed at my pathetic attempts to wake up San, who was clearly disoriented from the powerful backhanded slap.
"Choi San, was it?" 
I flinched when I realized that he was referring to me. "My, you have grown into a fine young man," he cackled like a maniac once more.
He went down to my level to whisper. "You good for nothing bitch," he whispered sadistically. "I thought I told you I'd kill her if I see you with her again?"
What if one day, you find out that everything you knew was a lie?
"You were always like a little tick that sucked the innocence out of my baby girl," he mockingly declared. "Well, not anymore."
He was about to try and carry my body out - San - but I stopped him, courage suddenly filling my lungs. "What the hell do you want from us?" I growled aggressively. "Haven't you taken enough for me?"
He raised a brow at the declaration, and I knew I slipped, but I didn't care. "You gave her to me willingly," he scoffed, red in the face. "Pathetic, one word from me saying I'd be 'better' and you believe it?"
What if one day, you find out that everything you knew was a lie?
"What?" I felt my heart breaking to tiny little pieces once more.
My bastard stepfather laughed mockingly in my face. "This college rubbish has ruined her. I will marry this slut to a business partner of mine to expand," he spat. All the blood rushed to my head when I heard this. "Out of my way, brat!"
In one swoop, my body was in his arms and leapt up to try and grab San out of his grip. Once more, I thank God that San worked out and was strong enough. "You sick, sick, son of a bitch," I seethed, an anger I never let out before. 
He faltered for a moment before kicking me on my leg, but he was never going to win. He laughed and temporarily dropped an unconscious San, who was again, in my body still, on the dirty ground.
"I should have killed you a long time ago," he sadistically remarked. 
We fought right there and then and for a moment, I had the upper hand. My wounded childhood was the one spurring me on as my fists pounded on him repeatedly as I straddled him. Each punch on his clownish face as he lay on the floor felt like a win.
Until it wasn't. In a twist of events, he had managed to flip me over when I got too emotional and straddled me instead, his sick grin widening as he tried to blow a punch. A burst of adrenaline went through me and I held his fists to stop him from punching, struggling since at the end of the day, this still wasn't my body.
"I'm going to have fun ruining your face, pretty boy," he grinned maniacally, blowing punch after punch and so far, I've been avoiding them.
But that can only last so long. I was slowly getting tired and tired and he did manage to hit me once. Stars flooded my vision and I gave up. He was about to punch me again, his fist up in the air and going down and I just waited for the impact to happen.
It never came. 
I could have cried when Hongjoong came just in time and pulled my stepfather, who was extremely shocked, away from me. It happened so fast, my stepfather was now fighting Hongjoong and I took that opportunity to crawl towards my body while whispering San's name.
"Easy there, buddy..."
I felt myself being lifted up and I got nervous at first, until I saw Mingi's face above me as he was trying to lift me up from the floor. He put my arm across his shoulders and we huddled close to San's body.
"Now!" I heard Hongjoong shout and I looked up just in time to see Yunho deliver a punch, himself, and it managed to knock my stepfather out cold on the ground.
"Holy shit," I heard Yunho mutter to himself. Who knew that the gentle giant had it in him?
"Wooyoung, go get her," Hongjoong pointed at San, his voice tight and tense. It was an authority I have never, ever felt on anyone before and it honestly made me a bit more terrified of him than all of the Ateez members combined.
"The rest," he panted tiredly and began to walk inside the house. "The rest, get that motherfucker inside and tie him up on the chair, I don't fucking care which."
It was about time anyway, it started to rain all of a sudden and we all made a big run for it inside before we got soaked.
Once Wooyoung carried my body and laid it down on the couch next to where Mingi had placed me, Hongjoong lay it all out, screaming at the top of his lungs with an anger that could have made the Earth tremble and shake.
"I'm gone for a couple of months and this is what I come home to?" Hongjoong shouted, the sound of it so loud it rendered us speechless. My God, he was terrifying. "Nothing to say?"
"I mean, nothing big," Jongho muttered, "It's just that--"
"I'm hearing excuses, Jongho," Hongjoong sarcastically laughed as he banged his hands on the table. "I don't want to hear it. You're the temporary leader, Jongho, what happened?"
I was surprised. All this time, I thought it was Seonghwa. Jongho sighed deeply. "Well, we can start from the beginning," he shrugged, turning to look at me. "Y/N? Who the hell is that?"
"Yes?" I replied almost instantaneously in a panicked state. "Oh, my stepfather--I mean, I don't know!"
I was met with the most surprised stares and the heaviest of gasps. I covered my mouth quickly with widened eyes when I realized what I just did. Jongho crosses his arms and smirks.
"I told you so," he gloated.
We hear a series of groans and I quickly help San get up and sit up properly on the coach and he was as surprised as I was when he noticed everyone staring.
But most of all, I was terrified of Hongjoong. "Well, I'll be damned," he clicked his tongue. I frowned at his lack of surprise.
San sighs heavily. "You guys know, don't you?"
"Wait, hold on a minute," Wooyoung interrupted, waving his hand around. "So all this time when I've been showing you cat videos, it was you?"
I nodded sheepishly, suddenly uncomfortable with all the stares. I can literally hear everybody's gears turning as they internalized all the events that happened during the last few months.
"This is ridiculous," Seonghwa remarks, narrowing his sharp eyes. "How do we know that this isn't some prank?"
Then it starts. Mingi's cheeks reddened when he realized that he has been shirtless a lot of times with me. Yunho laughed when he remarked that he had been wondering why San had been suddenly interested in gaming with him.
"Wait, wait," Yeosang interrupted the ruckus with a loud laugh. "So, San was the one with the period that time?"
"Shut up," San seethed when everyone burst out laughing like maniacs. He points to me accusingly. "You should have seen her when she had the morning wood."
My cheeks were up in flames when I remember when I felt that painful sensation down there one morning; it was painfully hard, sticky, wet. Everybody laughed for a minute straight when me and San started selling each other out, and we looked at each other out.
As usual, one person wasn't saying anything. "How did you know?" I asked a smirking Jongho.
He hesitates, contemplating if he should tell me. "Because it happened to me, as well," Jongho shrugged. "Though not as long as you guys."
All hell broke loose at that statement and the million question was - who did Jongho switch temporarily with?
He glances at someone in particular, and follows his line of sight. "No way, there is no fucking way," Seonghwa cursed. "You?"
"It was last year," Hongjoong shrugged, sitting on the couch lazily. "Lasted for only three days though, I'm not sure why you guys haven't returned yet."
"I don't believe it," Seonghwa narrows his eyes at me and San, and then Jongho and Hongjoong. "Proof or I’m kicking everyone out."
I shrunk. Of course, I wouldn’t expect anything less from the sociology major.
Jongho has this devilish grin on his face. "Remember last year when we all went to that all paid expense getaway?" he laughed. "Surely, you don't think he..." he jutted his thumb at a seething Hongjoong. "...would plan that in the middle of nowhere?"
Another type of hell broke loose at that, but I was at a loss for words. I had nothing to prove myself for. San and I haven't spent the last few years together. "I...I don't know," I admitted. "I can't prove it."
"I can."
Everyone looked at San expectantly. He had this forlorn face, and I got nervous. Something tells me that I wasn't going to like what I was going to hear. "It's about that asshole over there."
He pointed at my stepfather, who was still knocked out. He was tied tightly on a rickety chair. I saw everyone's face tense when San said it. I stared at him, all the hurt that I had buried within me coming out in waves and I had hoped that San was just making it up. The look on his face confirmed that he was not.
"S-San?" I whispered, the betrayal hitting me for the second time. I looked at each and everyone of them. "You all know something."
I stood up from the couch angrily, everyone's eyes on me as angry tears started falling from my eyes. "You left me that day, gave me up like I was some trash you didn't want!" I shouted at San. "You made me believe that you were finally saving me..."
"Y/N, please calm down, I can explain," San begged, hugging my waists hurriedly. Well, thanks to his own strength, I managed to break away. "Y/N, please..."
Both Wooyoung and Yunho stood up to comfort me by holding my hand and rubbing my back soothingly. I couldn't push them away, they were always nice to me. The others just stared at me with pity in their eyes.
I felt the world slowly crashing down on me. I must look stupid, but nobody had ever asked why it had protected me all these years. "And you!" I angrily pointed at Hongjoong and Jongho. "You knew about me and San's predicament!"
Jongho sighed, his eyes softening. "I'm sorry, I really am," he apologized. "Hongjoong and I have been working on it."
Hongjoong rubbed his temples. "Everyone, to your rooms. Now. Jongho, stay."
Everyone that passed me offered me consoling words, and that they were sorry. It was just me, San, Hongjoong, and Jongho left.
"I offer my apologies to you sincerely," Hongjoong began, facing my body as he spoke. "Although I can't say I'm too pleased with you, I understand your predicament."
"What the hell does that mean?" I scoffed.
Hongjoong raised his brow in amusement. "It's not really a secret that you hate Ateez, my dear, and in turn..." he gestured to San. "Him. Can I tell you a small secret?"
"Go ahead," I frowned.
"We are a peaceful group," he began. "The parties were a front for all the charity we do here."
I was surprised. He gestured at the big mirror at the wall and I stared at it. I gasped when he told me to look harder. It was a two way mirror. "A secret room?" I asked.
Hongjoong nodded. "I didn't want anyone randomly coming in and out of here, it was the best we could do. The feminine products were usually what the party people left behind."
It all made sense in my head - how people just worshiped them wherever we went, some of them with admiration, how San always defended them and how he absolutely hated it when I talked shit about them.
"As for your switch," Hongjoong cleared his throat. "We don't know why or how it happens, and honestly? We never dug deep into it, so unfortunately in that area, I'm afraid we can't help you."
My heart sank at his words. "So, we're going to stay like this forever? How did you guys turn back?"
"Hongjoong and I were arguing last year," Jongho started. "I'll spare you the details, let's just say it almost tore this group apart."
I saw San's brows lift up in surprise. Jongho continued. "I don't remember who, but one of us lowered our pride, and then the next day? Poof." Jongho gestured with his arms. "We were back."
"That's it?" San was spiteful and so was I. "We've pretty much solved our issues and we're still like this. You two never thought to look into it further?"
Hongjoong and Jongho looked at each other. "No," Jongho said. "Something out there that has this immense power and isn't meant to be questioned. You think whatever was out there playing with us will suddenly yield and listen?"
"Are there more of us out there?" San asked dreadfully.
"Yes," Hongjoong confirmed. "It's a secret we'll keep, however. Just like we'll keep yours. I'll talk to the boys. And as for this son of a bitch?"
He glared at my stepfather. "Leave it to me."
This was too personal. I got up and left the house in entirety despite everyone's protests from behind me. I swung the door open forcefully and ran out to the soaking rain aimlessly. It reminded me of that night when San and I switched as I looked up to the sky. There was also thunder looming up.
Where do I even begin? I cried as I walked aimlessly trying to find a way out of the campus. I only realized that the rain was cold because of all the adrenaline rushing out of me quickly and I stride forward, screaming and howling.
"Y/N, wait!"
I turned around and it was San, drenched just like me with the most gut-wrenching expression on his face. Tears free falled from his eyes, like the rain. "Let me explain, I'm begging you, please," he pleaded with all his might.
I slapped him, the sound of it louder than the thundering rain. His lips quiver and I almost gave in right there. "How can I ever trust you?!" I screamed at him.
He kneeled on the gravel, something I know would have bruised my knees, and looked up to me with the most forlorn expression. "Please, don't shut me out," he wailed. "My heart won't be able to take it."
It was just us, rain soaked in the melodramatic scene unfolding right in front of us. "You gave me to him, San!" I sobbed pathetically and tried my best to shove him off of me. "He ruined my life!"
I ripped him off of me and tried to run away, but I stopped when he hugged me from behind and buried his face on my back. His wails broke my heart to a million pieces. He began muttering something that I couldn't understand.
"Speak up before I get angrier!" I shouted. My tongue was a sword I'd sharpened because I was so sick of getting. "There was a time I'd lay down my arms for you, San--"
"He said he would never hurt you anymore if I gave you back to him!" he screamed.
Everything stopped at that moment - there was no wind, no tears, raindrops that fell stopped in time - it was just me and San. "Please, Y/N, please just listen to me--"
"I can't think of anything worse," I scoffed. "You think I believe you?"
"I swear!" San sobbed. "He said he'll kill you and find you if you don't return, Y/N..."
He turns me around and grabs my face in his hands, staring deep into my eyes as more tears fall from my eyes. Everything hit me all at once, the beatings did stop but I thought it was because I went to college and he couldn't touch me.
"I should have been stronger for you that time," San wailed, leaning his forehead against mine. "There was never a day I didn't regret it."
We sobbed in each others arms as we got rained on, shivering like leaves, but we didn't care. 
"Why didn't you tell me?" my voice cracked. "Why didn't you tell me?!"
"I don't know, Y/N, I don't know!" he wept, desperately clinging onto me as I tried to get away from him. "I thought I was doing what was best for you..."
The moment I realized that I had misinterpreted his actions, his words, all of him for those years, that moment was when my heart broke even more. 
"Do you hate me that much, San?" I bellowed. It was the good kind of breaking; the type that led to healing and new ways onward.
"I don't, but I don't like you like that," he whispered. Sometimes, the loss of words would have said more.
His quivering lips landed on my forehead. "Because I love you," he confessed. 
MY heart soared, but I wasn't going to let him in. "You left me, San. You were all I had then you were gone!"
"You loved me?"
"That's all you heard?" I scoffed.
"What about now?" San asked hopefully. "Do you still love me?"
I laid all the truth out. "I don't know," I admitted. It was still raining at this point. "When you left, I had decided back then that our futures were different, even though we grew apart, and you know what I hate?"
I laughed sarcastically, tears falling from my eyes again, and I probably looked crazy. "I still held you above others. I still loved you even though I had nothing, no safety, no rights, no place to go, and no one to call to get me out of the hell I was placed onto." 
San grabbed my chin and tilted it upwards. "No," he whispered. "You never stopped loving me, please don't say you loved me."
We have always been like this, I realized - a ticking time bomb. It was worse now, especially now that we were older and the way San was looking at me, I knew that we were destined to explode.
"I can't let you go," he said, holding me closer. "I'm never going to let you go. I will always hate myself for letting our love die."
He held gaze, and it could have burned me with how intense it was. He was bitter, those eyes held loneliness. "I know forgiveness is not your strong suit," he whispered. 
"San," I cried.
"There was a point where I wouldn't know what to say if I had you," he chuckled remorsefully. "Forgive me."
I guess these were our final days separated and I can say without a doubt, nothing ended the way I thought it would. Both of us leaned together and our lips finally met and it felt right, as if our souls had been intertwined a long time ago.
And then we felt it - that hot, familiar, searing pain that passed through us, only this time, we didn't pass out.
When I opened my eyes, I was looking through San's uncertain ones this time. The real San. I looked down at my body and lifted the small hands I knew I had instead of San's big and rugged ones. 
"Oh my God!" I screamed ecstatically, jumping up and down happily. "We're back, San, we're back!"
"Thunder and forgiveness," San laughed sweetly. "Who would have thought?"
"I'm freezing though," I giggled, finally letting go of all the pain and suffering. "My dorm?"
San smirks mischievously, and I screamed joyfully when he lifted me up in his arms and started running hurriedly out of the rain. We missed being in our bodies so much that we reached my dorm in record time with San kicking the door down so harshly that it might have been broken, but we didn't care.
We kissed each other as we hurriedly took our clothes off, not breaking our lips. This is what I wanted, I craved for him - his scent, his warmth, and just him as a person.
I giggled when San bit my lips, each gentle bite giving pleasurable zings of electricity straight down there. I clenched my legs together as San pinned me by the wall, holding my arms up as he grabbed my hands and pinned them as well.
We broke the kiss to take a big gulp of air and the longest, deepest stare followed. "I love you," San whispered, this time giving me the slowest, sweetest kisses against my lips. "I love you so much."
Tears flowed from my eyes and through my tears I whispered back. "I love you too. Now fuck me before I go insane."
His eyes widen and he throws his head back and laughs out loud, his cute dimples showing on his cheeks. "Hold on," he laughed. "I've had your body for months yet this is the first time I've seen it. Let me admire it, please?"
I blushed, embarrassed by the way he says it. He laughs at my predicament. "San, come on..."
"As my princess commands," he smirked, leaning down on my ear. "I'm going to make you scream."
"San," I moaned softly when his hands slid down and gently squeezed my naked ass.
"Oh, I know you already feel good," he groaned. "Are you sure you want this?"
I nodded and he sighed. "Tell me now," he said softly. "I'm not going to be able to hold back."
I gave him a shy smile, and went on my tippy toes to give him a small peck on the lips as my hand reached between his legs and began pumping his already hard cock back and forth slowly, teasing him and relishing the small grunts he was making.
"You like that?" I asked him softly.
"Mhhm," he groaned deeply. The way his face contorted into pleasure was sending me. "Keep going..."
I continued playing with his length - which by the way, definitely wasn't a little worm. He was above average; not too big, but definitely not small either. It was perfect and I loved it regardless. I couldn't hold back a shudder as I felt him buck his hips sensually over and over again on my hand.
He was confused when I suddenly stopped, his eyes glossing over something dark when I kneeled down until my face was eye level with his cock.
"Baby," he croaked when I looked up at him. "You don't have to."
"But I want to," I smiled impishly at him. His self-control was tethering almost close to the edge when I leaned forward and pressed my lips onto the tip of his cock.
"Oh, fuck," his deep growl resounded as he reached out and ran his fingers through my hair as I bobbed up and down his shaft, my cheeks hollowing as I tried hard to let my tongue slide underneath. I groaned against him when I felt him twitching inside my mouth.
The only thing sounding in the room right now was soft, sensual noises along with my gagging and San's grunts as I went faster, and faster. That is, until San pulled out all of a sudden. He groaned when he saw a trail of precum dripping from my mouth onto the floor.
"As much as I loved you sucking my soul through my cock," San laughed, pulling me up and pulling me close to him. I moaned softly when his eyes turned dark and predatory. "Can I fuck you?"
He didn't even let me finish, he began kissing me once more, this time, it was driven by lust instead of sweet surrender. His hands weren't idle either, he slid them up my tits and I moaned against his mouth as he squeezed them. He was gentle, yet persistent.
The kiss lingered for a moment when we both backed up until I landed over my soft bed with San going on top of me. Suddenly, anxiety hit me when his eyes started roaming around my body.
"Don't do that," I whispered, covering my body with the blanket. "I'm broken and bruised, not exactly sexy, isn't it?"
He smirked softly when I nervously laughed. It was true; all the permanent scars that never left my body and marked me in ways that will forever haunt me. I didn't want him to be turned off.
"What did I tell you?" he asked softly, his hand reaching out and lovingly tucking a strand of my hair behind my ears. 
My heart thudded against my ribcage as I curiously looked at him. He placed a sweet, chaste kiss on my forehead before he spoke out. "I told you I loved you, didn't I?" San smiled fondly. "That means I love all of you."
"Since when?"
He pretended to think about it, thoughtfully putting a hand to his chin. I laughed and jokingly clicked my tongue at him. I guess this was what love was; the way he was able to ebb away all my discomfort and assure me, make me believe, that I was fine. I loved him so much, it hurt.
"I don't know," he admitted. "One day, I just got mad whenever I imagined you slipping away from me." He kissed me again. "Angry whenever I'd think of someone claiming these." He kissed me once more. "Bitter whenever I'd think of someone else having you instead of me."
"Is that why you talked to Jeno like that earlier?" I rolled my eyes playfully and swatted him across the chest.
He rolled his eyes and nipped my lips almost painfully. "I would appreciate it if you didn't bring another man's name while I'm about to fuck you."
"So do it," I blurted out. "Fuck me."
He narrowed his eyes on me, long gone was his self-control. "You asked for this," San growled.
He gripped his stiff cock in between my already spread legs. I raised my ass to meet my wet hole against it, desperately moaning his name out. "Hurry up,"  I whined helplessly.
San looked me in the eyes as I felt him stroking and positioning himself along my throbbing cunt. He slid agonizingly slow inside of me, inch by inch, never breaking eye contact with me, until he completely bottomed out. We both moaned out at the delicious feeling of each other.
He would tease me with soft thrusts as I dug my nails on his back. "I knew you'd feel good," he exhaled sharply. "Fuck."
I unconsciously squeezed him and all his self control left him. He began thrusting slowly at first, and then picking up the pace when we both found our rhythm, little moans of pleasure escape us as we fucked each other.
"San, please!" I screamed, feeling every inch of him against my walls. My desperate moans made him rock against me faster, and harder.
"Louder, baby," he growled as he pistoned in and out of me. He leaned forward down my neck, biting and sucking on the soft flesh, its sound combined with the obscene slapping of skin against each other nearly undid me.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," San's low moans reached my ears and his tongue tickled it as well, even nibling on it and sending an unexpected burst of pleasure through me. 
I bucked my hips up to meet his fastening thrusts. "Sannie, oh, just like that--"
I screamed when he slammed roughly down on me. "Say that again," he growled against my neck, the demand of it sending pleasurable tears in my eyes.
"W-What?" I managed to ask in between his invasion.
"Call me that again," he grabbed my hips and pulled me tight against him. "I'm begging you, baby, I need it."
"Sannie!" It came effortlessly anyway as I shook beneath his strong body and wrapped my legs around his waist.
"Again," he grunted, pounding into me as our passions rose higher and higher. 
"Ah, Sannie, please," I cried out, thrusting my hips hard to meet his as I felt a familiar tingling sensation down my core and soft bursts of whimpers came out of me as he ground against me.
"Again, Y/N, again, fuck..."
"Sannie!"
This wasn't fucking - as cheesy as it may sound, we both knew that it was the both of us giving each other the love we couldn't for all these years. It was such an intimate experience and connection, even though we were going roughly at the same time.
"Again!"
I'm not usually one for domination and submission, but with him, I'll do anything. I know he won't hurt me.
San leans up a bit and he groans as he watches his cock go in and out of me. "God, you're so wet, babygirl," he smirked at my fucked out face. "I didn't even need to finger you..."
"Can you just keep fucking?" I snapped.
He laughed like the little demon he was, it turned me on so much, and he thrusted harder. "You really can't help acting like an ass even though I'm inside you, huh?"
I grinned. "It's not going to change."
San began going in and out faster and faster, his thrusts building in speed and power. I gaped, screams of pleasure filled the room, as San's throaty rumble of pleasure gave way as his thrusts became sloppier. I knew he was close.
"I'm going to cum inside you, oh fuck, can I cum inside you?" San's moans were getting more and more high-pitched. 
"Please!" I begged, digging my nails on his back.
He hammered himself into me, each thrust a jolt of burning heat as my own orgasm started to approach, and when San felt it, he began doing so more relentlessly. "S-San--"
It was a toe-curling orgasm, one I haven't felt before. San growled in my ear, saying my own over and over like a prayer, as I felt him shake, then wail, and then gasp. I moaned when I felt ropes of warm cum spurt into me over and over, again and again. 
His thrusts subsided and he pulled me into a tired and tender kiss, our lips lazily against each other, and then we laughed hard at what just happened. Something tells me we were going to be alright.
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𝙱𝙾𝙽𝚄𝚂 𝚂𝙲𝙴𝙽𝙴:
It turns out we didn't need to correct San's parents, after all. Imagine how pleased Mrs. Choi was when we told her we were making it official.
"Ready to go, babe?" San lovingly asked as he fixed the collar of his dress shirt. When he struggled to put on his tie, he sheepishly smiled at me.
"Need help, tough guy?" I smirked, standing up from the couch and making my way to San. "Kiss me first."
He didn't waste any time and gave me a kiss that rivaled every poet's work and it spoke volumes about the passion we shared.
We broke off and laughed at all the complaints and protests we received from the entire group. Ah, I suppose I'm part of their little group now and we were currently in the frat house.
"Ugh, Lord Almighty, you two are disgusting," Seonghwa rolled his eyes, clearly disturbed. "Decency is not a concept known to both of you, is it?"
He walked over to me and San and pulled him away from me. "I'll fix it," he referred to the tie. "Before you two start dry humping." 
"Rude," I glared jokingly.
"Kind of miss when you two hated each other," Mingi grimaced, plopping next to a snickering Yunho, who said. "Right, there would be none of..." He pointed at me and San accusingly. "...that."
"Jealous of the lack of love in your lives?" San questioned. Mingi and Yunho looked at each other and blushed. "Or not."
Suddenly, a glass of delicious looking smoothie was shoved in my face. It was Wooyoung, who was giving me a pointed look. "What's this?" I frowned, inspecting it.
"Breakfast shake," he shrugged. He patted my back. "No time to eat before you guys go. Good luck, hmm?"
"Thank you," I grinned. "You were an unexpected friend."
"Unless the smoothie gives you diarrhea," Yeosang chimed in. I laughed when Wooyoung turned red and he was about to shout when we all heard Hongjoong yell from outside the house.
"Oi, loverboy! Get in the car before me and Jongho drive off and you'll be walking!"
"Alright," Yeosang pulls me into a small hug. "Goodluck, okay?"
"Give us good news, okay?" Seonghwa smiled tightly while he ushered us out to Hongjoong's car.
I giggled like a schoolgirl when San opened the door for me and I sat beside Jongho in the back, who rolled his eyes dramatically at us while making gagging sounds.
It was hilarious how me and San, hopeless romantics, got stuck with Hongjoong and Jongho, the non-hopeless romantics.
"Nervous?" Jongho asked me while Hongjoong and San walked through what to do when we got to our destination.
I unconsciously touched the marred, disfigured cigarette burn on my shoulder, and it didn't escape Jongho's attention. "Don't," he pursed his lips tightly. "Don't let him win."
San and I decided one day that everyone needed to know everything from the beginning - how San and I were childhood friends, my abusive stepfather after my mother died, San being threatened by him, all of it. The night that I cried in San's arms was also the night that I gained seven more friends.
"I know, I won't let you guys down," I assured. "Thank you for doing this, both of you, you didn't have to."
Hongjoong looked at me through the rear mirror with concern. "You didn't see what we all saw that day," he tensely said. "I was driving home excited to see everyone, and what did I see?"
He paused to collect his thoughts. "A big man beating San to death and an unconscious girl on the ground while the rest tried to scramble outside. Do you have any idea how I felt when Jongho told me your bodies were switched?"
"Being witnesses to the trial is what we want, believe me," Jongho said.
Tears started forming in my eyes. My stepfather ruined everything for me - my life and my childhood specifically. I lost a lot of time with San and I'm so mad that I lost out on these wonderful people. Better late than never, I suppose, at least we're here now.
Sooner or later, me and San were holding hands outside of the courthouse. I didn't want to do it, but Wooyoung and Yeosang were the ones that convinced me the most that I should press charges against my stepfather. San also decided to press charges for blackmail. Mingi called his brother to arrest him, and Yunho's father was kind enough to represent me as my lawyer.
"Like what you see?" San smirked when he noticed me ogling at him. He smiled at me mischievously. "Maybe we can...do some stuff when we get home."
I playfully slapped his arm. "Pervert," I rolled my eyes. "You do look good though, I love your hair like this."
"You do? The blonde isn't jarring?" San asked, obviously anxious about it the natural blonde piece of hair 
"Nah," I fixed his hair a bit for him and he revels in it. He loves getting his hair touched, at least by me. "Maybe we could dye the blonde like a teal blue for a change if you want."
"Sounds good, babe," he agreed. We giggled a bit before we had to become serious again. 
We both stared at the daunting courthouse in front of us. "It's anticlimactic, huh?" San kissed my hand lovingly. "The ending, at least."
"It's better this way, I guess," I shrugged. 
When we switched bodies back, we pretty much never talked about it ever again, just like Hongjoong and Jongho never did.
"How so?" San wondered.
I smiled at him and pulled him close to me so I could give him a tight hug. "Those days we spent apart were hard for me," I whispered. "But we grew separately and now we're better together because of it."
San held my face tenderly in his hands and stared deeply into my eyes. "Having you back means the world to me," he spoke. "Just do me a favour this time, okay?"
I looked at him expectantly. "Stay," he smiled. "Please stay with me, promise me."
"So as long as you don't leave me again," I answered with a bittersweet smile on my face. "Let's do this."
I loop my arm on his and he seemed pleased. "Let's," he laughed, then leaning so we could share one more sweet kiss before we faced the world together.
In his kiss are years I know we'll spend together and the sweetness of the love we'll share as days go by. In his kiss, I am home.
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