#who I mentally refer to as Silly Magnus

[skrankku]

(No primarchs were harmed during the making of this comic)

A short comic based on Discord discussions on the kind of shenanigans Magnus gets up to when he can't keep a stable form.

[g3n3s1s-l0v3]

My about me post bcuz ive been meaning to get around to it 😼 (its a little late in terms of age of this blog but hey… better late than never?)

my pronoun page

BASIC INFO:

Name: Mason :3

Age: Minor. Will not specify further

Identity: I personally identify simply as queer and transgender, leaning on transmasculine. i like all genders and personally dont mind being refered to as anything, though i prefer masculine terms

Pronouns: He/Any

Interests: Roblox Daybreak 🔥🔥🔥, Arcane, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Owl House, Gravity Falls, Sally Face, and many other things. Lots of different fanfics

What Do I normally Post?: Art. No, i do not do commissions as i am merely a minor (/ref) but if u want to request something i *might* do it 🥰. i also talk about the fics i write and repost lots of political stuff

DNI

Basic DNI (homophobic, racist, sexist etc), zionist, anti-fiction, abelist, often make derogatory jokes against mentally ill people, don’t enjoy political content (for your own good, i reblog a lot), adults who post lots of adult content (i dont mind if youre simply an adult, i mind what youre doing with your blog.), antishippers and extremist proshippers

Stupider DNI (not actually a dni, just people who annoy me </3)

people who actually understand what was going on in the magnus archives/protocol (ive tried listening through the entire show so many times I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON), people that just hate (genuinely, not silly) for no reason, conservatives, whoever the hell keeps getting me severely sick, animal haters, people that dont read my fics (you should go read my fics), pop music haters, timebomb antis 😿, people who think the word queer shouldnt b used as a identity/anything other than a slur, people who play roblox forsaken. i hate that game. i play it every day. it sucks. i hate it. i have so much money in it.

[boombox-fuckboy]

Hi! Weird ask: but do you have any podcast recs where the voices are mainly British ? (Including Irish and Scottish). I know it’s silly but I like to have podcasts on in the background and I find American voices too distracting. I really like wooden overcoats , Magnus archives and the beef and dairy network. Thanks 😊

I do! Here's 20 podcasts from around the UK and Ireland that I've quite enjoyed:

The Amelia Project: Comedy. The Amelia Project is a secret organisation, highly specialised in faking people's deaths! A new client each episode, with their own wacky backstories, followed by the client and interviewer planning how to fake the death. Very funny and never a dull moment.

The Antique Shop: Urban Fantasy. Maya, a university student in desperate need of work, finds a part-time job at an old antique shop under the eye of the enigmatic Madam Norna and surrounded with items far from mundane. A new customer every episode, and a new item each time, every one as strange and interesting as the last.

I Am In Eskew: Horror. Tales from a man living in something which desperately wants to be a city, and from an investigator who was, in her words, hired to kill a ghost. Told with gentle voices and unending rain. Some of the most creative horror I've encountered, and I really enjoy the writing style too.

The Lost Cat Podcast: Horror (Cosmic, Soft), Weird Fiction(?). A man loses parts of himself, befriends strange entities, and drinks an awful lot of wine as he searches for his missing cat. Fun horror which values kindness and connection, with great writing which has always stuck with me but is also just the right amount of cliché to be very satisfying in the moment.

Lost Terminal: Sci-fi, Hopepunk. Gentle podcast about a lonely AI living in a space station as he contemplates life, learns more about the world around him, and makes friends. Really charming, great music, takes a respectful look into mental health (including anxiety, depression, ocd, did, loneliness) and talks about all kinds of fun topics like radio, D&D, orbital mechanics, and plants. Big favourite of mine.

Maps of the Lost: Supernatural, New Weird(?), Urban Fantasy, Light Horror. A guidebook style podcast to the strange happenings, people, places, and creatures around the UK. A few of these per episode in an almost microfiction format, all really fun and creative, and read in a wonderfully soothing voice.

Middle:Below: Supernatural, Mystery, Adventure, Comedy & Horror Elements. Ghost adventures! Humans Taylor and Heather, Gil the Ghost, and occasionally Sans the Cat travel to the Below, the land of ghosts, to solve mysteries and to help or contain the spirits that live there. This one makes me feel a bit like a kid again, it's very fun and has really crisp audio.

Modem Prometheus: Urban Fantasy, (Horror?). From the same team as Lost Terminal, this is a newer podcast featuring 'modern folktales', stories which feel like myths but are set in the city in the modern day. Each one tells it's own story, but in a shared world established by subtle consistant elements and sneaky references to the other tales. Good audio, music, writing, and I like the narrator's voice.

Monstrous Agonies: Supernatural. "Agony Aunt" radio show (where listeners can write in with their problems and receive advice), but for the supernatural in a modern world where humans, former humans, and people who were never human, live together. Featuring one of the most soothing voices in audio drama, really well written, supportive, full of fantastic advice, and very queer. Another big favourite of mine.

Murray Mysteries: Comedy, Supernatural. A queer, comedic, modern, and delightfully faithful adaptation of Dracula. Taking the form of Mina's podcast, I really enjoy how it's subtley altered the characters to fit a modern setting.

Neighbourly: Horror, Supernatural, (New Weird?), Some Sci-Fi Elements. Welcome to Little Street, where behind each door lives one or more residents with their own strange lives and curious secrets. Narrator has a great voice and you can never be quite sure what flavour of strangeness you'll be in for.

The Orphans: Sci-Fi, Thriller, (Horror?): While I could spoil this podcast and it'd still be great, I'm not going to. I will say it's a very well made, far future sci-fi featuring AI, unethical science, quality worldbuilding, heart-crushing tragedies, and a dash of political intrigue.

The Petrol Station: Horror. A short podcast featuring stories of the weird encounters of a petrol station attendant living in an isolated British village. If you enjoyed TMA, you'll probably like this a lot as well, it's very well written and I have all my fingers crossed for new episodes.

The Secret of St Kilda: Mystery? Thriller-ish? Cult Horror? Unsure. Podcast about a former conman who moves to the mysterious island of St Kilda, fleeing his past and into the arms of the strange island cult, who both think they need him, and deeply distrust him.

Spirit Box Radio: Supernatural, Mystery, Horror Elements. After the famous and supposedly powerful radio psychic Madam Marie goes missing, her enthusiastic young assistant takes over in her place. The first, but certainly not only, problem is he's never had much talent for the arcane before... Not that he can remember learning much to begin with, anyway.

Tartarus: Horror, Sci-Fi. An astrobiologist gets a job at a research facility in Antarctica which isn't quite what she'd expected. Along with the tearse station manager, and facility AI, she finds herself now responsible for protecting humanity from the monsters contained within. Really new but full of promise, looking forward to seeing where it goes.

The Tower: New Weird? Magical Realism? Idk. Short, meditative podcast about a young woman who decides to climb a seemingly endless tower. Modern setting with it's own delightful ancient lore. Fantastic music, quality soundwork, strange, reflective and enchanting. By the same folks as Middle:Below (Above).

VAST Horizon: Sci-Fi (space), Horror, Thriller(?). An agronomist tasked with kickstarting agriculture on a new world wakes on the ship before they arrive, to discover something has gone horribly wrong. The ship is adrift and riddled with issues, and nobody but the malfuctioning AI is left aboard... Right? She must do her best to save the ship and herself, and work out what happened. Stellar piece of audio by Fool & Scholar, who also do arctic horror podcast The White Vault, which has a very international cast and also highly recommended.

Victoriocity: Mystery, Adventure, Steampunk, Comedy. In an alternate steampunk 1887 London, an inspector and a journalist team up to solve a bizzare mystery, possibly even a conspiracy. Full cast, great sound design, full of wacky characters.

We Fix Space Junk: Sci-fi, Comedy, Adventure. An interstellar repairwoman, her AI best friend, and their brand new fugitive socialite assistant travel the stars to complete various tasks at the behest of the evil monolith of a company they are in debt to. A new job every episode, full cast, crisp audio and sound design.

I hope you can find one here which appeals to you!

[obscuniverse]

Obscu listens to: The Magnus Archives - Episode 1 ‘Angler Fish’

@derinthescarletpescatarian​ has been ranting at me about this series for what feels like a million years so here I am. Also apparently I’m the world’s biggest stereotype. Let’s roll, shall we?

Oooh, I do like spooky violin. Can’t have a horror anything without spooky violin.

Okay can we pause and talk about the symbolism of having ‘Angler Fish’ be your first episode title? Fun Fact! As you may recall, the angler fish is what happens when you ask any child to draw any animal that they imagine has teeth, and the teeth come out all different sizes and directions but they’re definitely spikes, and then they get so caught up with the teeth that they rush the rest of the body so it looks like a particularly carnivorous poop? That’s the one. The part that’s particularly relevant is the the bit where they’re a bunch of glowing knobheads; that is, they have a fleshy forehead appendage where the end is colonised by bioluminescent bacteria, which they use as a lure for smaller, less coprotype prey. So we’ve got some strong lure imagery, and it’s the first episode, so on one hand this is literally the lure that the series is using to draw us, the readers, into consuming (or, if you know @derinthescarletpescatarian​, being consumed by) the series. Of course, it’s almost certainly referring to the content of the episode as well so I anticipate a protagonist (and possibly diverse other victims) to be _lured _into something bad for them.

Secondary Fun Fact! Anglerfish mating involve the male biting into the belly of the (several times larger in size) female and hanging on until their skin and blood vessels literally fuse together, with the anglerfish male being fed directly by nutrients from the blood of the female through their shared circulatory system. Will our protagonist bite off more than they can chew and become hopelessly, permanently enmeshed in something larger and more dangerous than they, so interwoven with it that they are unable to extricate themselves from it but also being given by it the means to survive? Will we the listeners? I guess we’ll just have to hit play because I’m only 36 seconds in. I do like the narrator’s voice though.

More spooky violin, can’t go wrong with that. Ooooh a crescendo. Hot fucking damn. Oh snap there was some sad tunelessness there!

Ohshit it’s a recorded diary! Every horror game I’ve ever played has prepared me for this moment.

Nothing spooky happens at a research institute named for strength or might in both Latin and Norse. Certainly not one that deals in esoterica. Okay, let’s see what Johnathan Sims (Simms?) gets up to at Swole Hogwarts.

What’s that? The previous Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher Archivist is dead and you’ve been hired by Spooky French Dumbledore who is almost certainly a monster because of course he is to replace them? This will end only well and definitely not with a spiral into a mental breakdown culminating in some Here’s Johnny! shenanigans.

“There are very few genuine cases” and now that you’ve jinxed yourself every single genuine case in the world is going to be crawling out of the walls to say hello. You’d think after 4 years you would’ve learned not to say such things. It’s like watching D-Class personnel at the SCP foundation.

“When an investigation has gone as far as it can it goes to the archives” (emphasis mine). So you’re gonna be digging into a 200 years’ of spoopy cold cases that are gonna get real hot real quick. I’m down. 

Ahahahaha. Oh academia. Even in Swole Hogwarts you can’t get away from theorists vs practicalists.

86-91-G/H is definitely going to come up again. I can vividly picture the wild strewn-about room of someone driven mad by the haunting nature of their job. Or of my own office because of who I am as a person. I wonder which file ate Gertrude. I also wonder if the lack of use of modern electronics is a safety measure that Old Mate Johnny has unknowingly violated.

“I have secured the services of two redshirts, and you can tell because they’re unnamed researchers” “I don’t expect Martin to secretly be the highly skilled wizard/creature manipulating events form their apparent background doddering disguised as a silly fool in keeping with long fairy-tale tradition contribute anything except delays” Martin is definitely Snape. OOOooooOOOooooOOH, attempting to digitise T̵̨̛͚͉̫̩̰͍̓̽̽̍̓͑̓̾͌͗̂̈́̉ḫ̸͈̪̉̆̓̀͌̓͒̈̋̐͝ĕ̵͉̻̻ ̷̜͙̤͎͈̝̮̘̄̅̓̆̿̕͝R̴̪͑̍̒̍̾̅̐́͘͠͠ę̸̞̪͕̠͍͉̝̀̈́́͌̽ͅc̴̟̱͈̦̎̅̋̏͆̌̇͘͠͠o̶͚̞͕̲͒̋r̷̲̟̭͚̠̾͑́͋̓̈́̎͒̾̚d̴̩͓́͑̀͊̂̿͛i̴̗͈̣̟̻̯̼̘̞͕̋͜ͅņ̶̡͍͚͙̩͇̟̝̩̬͍͖̳̓g̷̯̬̙̱͚̏͂̔͐̉̇̾̋̓̎̈́͘s̷̢̫̗͙̱̻̳̞̩̐͛͂̍̑̐̊̚ have been met with significant spooky magical fuckery distortion. Fancy that.

The redshirts are named Tim and Sasha, and they will be doing some supplementary investigation suicidal monster hunting to fill in Blanks That No Man Was Meant To Fill. Maybe they’ll survive now that they have names, but they really should’ve saved the name for when one of them is mortally injured and the audience has to care enough about them for them to survive so you can reveal that they are in fact a person.

“I apologise to my eventual replacement after I am horribly eaten by/transformed into whatever is in 86-91-G/H any future researcher.”

Johnathan Sims is Niles Crane from Frasier and I will accept no word to the contrary.

Ah yes, the most esoteric and terrifying of eldritch phenomena; someone trying to bum a ciggy off you when you’re 80% scotch and 60% regret.

Ah, so “can I have a cigarette” with a human form ‘asking’ is the glowy knob on this ghost’s forehead. Completely without intonation because it’s just playing back a noise that attracts hammered people at night rather than understanding words that attract hammered people at night. Pretty sure I’ve seen this in an anime.

Apparently totally sloshed British students make better horror/urban fantasy protagonists than most movies would credit.

I take it back.

At least the spooky poopfish got some dinner.

I wonder if the missing student’s name also been John is a bit of tongue in cheek.

Oooh he’s created a “this is all bullshit” category into which he clearly intends to consign most of these. STOP PLAYING CHICKEN WITH THE UNFATHOMABLE HORRORS OF THE VOID BETWEEN THE STARS. Or, y’know, keep at it. This will not be hilarious and/or traumatic at all.

“Check out this photo of a spooky ghost if you run it through a sixth sense filter” That’s right Johnny, get beckoned.

I’m actually not 100% on this format but I’ll give it a few more tries.

[ansu-gurleht]

okay so i went through the datamined books from eso, taking notes as i went. @boethiah sent me a message this morning about it, asking what i thought. so i figured i might as well get real comprehensive about taking down notes to answer decently, or at least do it to organize my thoughts. 

before she sent me that i hadn’t heard about this, so i went into it bright-faced and intrigued. i didn’t think my notes would end up too long, so i just figured i’d send them to her when i was done, even “talking” to her in the notes (you’ll see what i mean by that). 

but uh. as all things lore-related, i got a bit carried away. stopped almost halfway thru to go to class, and by then i’d started to notice some really weird, kinda silly shit in it. and then i noticed everybody in tesblr talking about it, and finally realized, “oh. so it’s like that.” so i figure i’ll post it here publicly instead.

despite the uh. obvious nonsense in a lot of this, i think there’s a lot of interesting things hidden away. so what i’m going to do is just post my notes under the read-more. i’m too lazy to organize them into something more coherent lol. they’re basically just me commenting on certain lines and stuff. 

i won’t like, really go into why most of this is stupid, bc other people have already done so, and better than i probably could’ve. but you’ll know. somethings i quote things and just. have no idea how to even address them other than, at best, “??????” either bc it doesn’t make much sense, eludes useful analysis, or is just stupid.

anyways, here goes:

book 1:

azura: - "the Path"? am i wrong or has a "Path" never been referenced in khajiiti lore?

khenarthi: - alkosh comforts khenarthi after lorkhaj died? yeah right. - khenarthi's role as psychopomp for azurah mirrors kyne's role for shor. but azura doesn't factor into nord/atmoran mythology at all.

jone and jode: - azurah cares for jone and jode? interesting. (also, "Bright Moons"? full moons?)

lorkhaj: - lorkhaj as "White Lion?" - namiira (the Great Darkness) followed lorkhaj as his burden? - mention of a "path" again, made by lorkhaj with purpose. sounds yokudan. - "in conflict with himself" & "represents the duality of the Khajiiti soul" ... desert and jungle ... strife, hardship, and life, love ... both tainted deadly by nirni, according to ahnissi - "We honor his sacrifice by walking the Path with purpose and resisting the call of the Dark." ... the Path again ... the Dark? namiira? - (the khajiit seem to conflate namira and nocturnal. this isn't a new concept, as they both genuinely do overlap in many ways, but an interesting one.) - "the true spirit of Lorkhaj will sometimes appear" ... "by Azurah" - nerevar/ine, "or Khenarthi" - hjalti, "or by his oldest name" - ...ysmir?

magrus: - all of this magrus stuff is new, to my knowledge. - the importance of him fleeing from "Boethra and Lorkhaj" probably excites you :P - "fell into the Moonshadow" ... "too full of fear to rule a sphere" ... "tore out his other eye" (odin parallel? a "failed" odin, maybe? unless seeing "out of one eye" is metaphorical) - "Varliance Gate"???? "Aether Prism"???? they're the sun, but those names are brand new afaik. overall a strange alternative to the story of magnus and the sun - "Some sorcerers hold that Magrus left the eye willingly" - more odin stuff

book 2:

- azurah knows all the names of all the spirits, their protonyms? that's interesting. a lot of that "protonymic" lore is derived from the whole "true names have power" stuff, popular in magical circles from sources like kabbalah thru the lens of crowley. - "And Fadomai told stories of her children and her favorite aspects of each of them. When she reached Azurah, she smiled and told her favored daughter she could not decide. And Fadomai died." ;----; - "sat in the Great Darkness for timeless ages" ... sat with namiira? - seems to have carved moonshadow from the great darkness. (the great darkness seems to have dual meaning as both oblivion and namiira. then again, i think only clan mother ahnissi said the great darkness was namiira, so that (morrowind) lore might be outdated.) - this scene with lorkhaj and his empty dark heart is......interesting. - "UR DRA NA MII RA UR DRA NA MII RA UR DRA AZU RA" - you can pick out "namiira" and "azura" in this, but the meaning of "UR" and "DRA" elude me. - lorkhaj gets his heart torn out YET AGAIN. very rude azurah - the "Moon Beast" and its hunger remind me of the yokudan sep. - i think once upon the time "dro-m'Athra" referred to daedra in general, but i think eso has made them a specific type of daedra resembling khajiit. even more specifically, some kind of "dark khajiit" born from dead evil khajiit. - "lighting the fire with lanterns of love and mercy" - your vivec is showing, azurah. or i guess, the other way around. - this "ashes of Lorkhaj" bit gets me thinking about ysmir, again. but i'm not sure what to do with that.

book 3

sheggorath: - now THIS is a not shitty interpretation of sheggorath! he's not a "god of madness," but a god of mental fortitude, a god who tests convinction. - more stuff about "the Path" - "must be ... overcome before a Khajiit can visit Hermorah's library"? - "Sheggorath is dead and has been replaced by something Other" - the hero of kvatch? but if this is from eso, that hasn't happened yet? unless the mantling of sheogorath is a pretty common occurrence; i remember someone on tumblr suggested that this might happen every era.

orkha: - "Orkha ... followed Boethra back through the Many Paths" ... what does that mean? - "Lorkhaj, Khenarthi, and Boethra battled the demon in the ancient songs" - ... as trinimac? - "but Orkha could only be banished and would not die" ;) - "serve as tests along the Path" - so far these princes are being painted similarly to their house of troubles counterparts

dagon (also called merrunz.) - no reference to merrunz being the kitty cat. :( next - ...okay not really. "explore the Great Darkness rather than the Many Paths"? - molagh "tortured him until the creation of the World?" but "the wife of Molagh freed Merrunz"? who is "the wife of Molagh"?

molagh (balls) - "twelve Demon Kings"? should probably look into how they got that number - "Boethra and Molagh fought to a standstill before the lattice, but it was Azurah who shackled the Demon King with secrets only she knows." - i dont have anything to say about this really, just an interesting line i think. - "you will overcome him with the might of Boethra, the Will Against Rule." - interesting...afaik, aside from HAVING a khajiit name, boethiah never really factored into their faith that much, and wasn't ever mentioned in clan mother ahnissi. i wonder if azurah at some point attempted to unify her plans for the dunmer and the khajiit.

merid-nunda - interestingly, the khajiit seem to call her by her magna-ge name. - "False Spirit of Greed"? - magrus "loved only himself and his own creations"? idk if this seems all that congruent with the magrus from his own description - "cold spirit, born of light without love" - interesting - "blame her for orchestrating the death of might Lorkhaj"??!?!?!? what?????????? - "When Merid-Nunda dared assault the Lattice, Azurah struck her down before the Varliance Gate and dragged her away from it. She then cast Merid-Nunda into the Void and bound her there with mirrors. The nomads say she has since escaped." this whole thing is interesting

book 4

nirni: - nothing interesting on nirni.

y'ffer: - y'ffer "corrupted by the Great Darkness," (namira), who apparently killed nirni???!??! what??????? - worth noting that ahnissi doesn’t paint y’ffer as “corrupted” or evil or anything. in her words he’s kinda just a moron who doesn’t *get it* and does his own thing instead.  - don’t get the obsession with making namiira some like. crazy super evil being. feels like eso took a look at the list of princes and was like “who hasn’t tried to destroy/take over the world yet. that’s what daedric princes do right”

hircine - hircine doesn't get a funny ta'agra name, i guess. - graht-elk?

hermorah - hermorah helps azurah maintain the ja-kha'jay?

sangiin - according to what this says about sangiin, khajiit are actually NOT one of the most hedonistic races on tamriel. suuuuuuuuure, buddy.

book 5

- a look at the khajiit afterlife w/ azurah in moonshadow. - first you walk the sands, then you walk the glass, then you walk the thorns, then you have a good time, then azurah sends you back to nirn do something else (reincarnated)? but it might just be this one guy who goes off to do something ("Bring my children back"), he seems kinda special. no idea who he's supposed to be.

book 6

- all this shit about akha and alkosh and alkhan is bullshit. the fuck is akha even supposed to be? according to his name you'd assume an association with akatosh, but alkosh is akatosh, right?

akha: - this book says akha is the first cat. ahnissi says alkosh is the first cat. - "Pathfinder and the One Unmourned" - are we talking about akatosh or dagoth ur here. - "Many Paths"??? again?? what are they. knockoff walking ways? - "mated with the Winged Serpent of the East [akavir], the Dune Queen of the West [yokuda], and the Mother Mammoth of the North [atmora]. He then went to the South [pyandonea] and never returned." then alkosh shows up and says "yikes that akha guy was a little fucked huh?"

alkosh: - alkosh is "The Dragon King" and "Highmane." association with the Mane of the khajiit - "In time, the children of Akha overthrew [Alkosh] and scattered his body on the West Wind." ...??? is this a reference to the middle dawn? seems unlikely - apparently khenarthi put him back together. also seems unlikely

alkhan: - oh so the khajiit recognize alduin now too. cool.

boethra: - and boethiah i guess, why not????

mafala: - mafala has always been part of khajiit religion, tho, afaik. she is the og clan mother. - "She watches over Eight of the Many Paths, each of which a Khajiit must walk in time." ?????????? wtf are the many paths!!!!! why are there eight of them!!!!!! is this a reference to the spiral skein, or satellite realms (the spokes) of it? - forreal i think they gave up on pretense here when they started listing allies and shit. - "Her numbers are Eight and Sixteen, and these are two of her keys." this just sounds like something from the 36 lessons tbh. this doesn't sound like khajiit lore at all

book 7

lorkhaj (moon beast): - confusingly, lorkhaj as fadomai's favored son and lorkhaj as the moon beast are called by the same name, and despite this have separate entries in these books. - wonder if there's some equivalent in other myths to the moon beast. he seems pretty interesting, being "born of the dark heart of Lorkhaj" - there's UR DRA again, attached to namiira, again, who is apparently an enemy of the khajiit.

namiira: - apparently eso has rebranded namiira as like, an absolute enemy of the khajiit, with the dro-m'athra as her corrupted-khajiit minions or something? except i thought dro-m'athra originated from the moon beast? anyways, ahnissi only said that the great darkness became namiira. didn't say that was a bad thing necessarily. - also, her khajiiti ta'agra name, namiira, just so happens to be her protonym, NA MII RA.

noctra: - oh, so they do have nocturnal, as "noctra". - wait, so she's the "daughter of twilight"??? isn't twilight, idk, azura's thing???? (i feel like i've heard nocturnal be associated with twilight before, but it still makes little sense. it was probably from eso, too.) - boethra separated noctra from namiira. one could say she *stole* noctra from namiira ;) - noctra is ok by the khajiit, whereas her progenitor namiira is not. ok?

varmiina: - ok we have vaermina now too i guess. why the fuck not. - "The Lost Daughter. This spirit was not of any litter, but was born from Fadomai's fear of losing her children." - "Azurah killed this dark spirit in the Underworld" what the fuck is "the Underworld". they just be making shit up now

[?????] (no, really. that's what it says. dunno if that's a placeholder or intentional): - "[?????] A spirit of vengeance. It has no will of its own, as it was born from Azurah's grief after the death of Fadomai and Lorkhaj." ????? - "It sometimes appears in songs as a black panther, a warrior in ebony armor, or as a hidden sword." idk about "a black panther," but the "warrior in ebony armor" evokes ebonarm, who's technically still canon, and "a hidden sword" could be umbra. not sure what the connection here is.

[fuukonomiko]

"You are my new pillow" Magnus and Roboute

"You are my new pillow."

Did she just hear him say that?

It was a very, vague mumble.

From a man who was nowhere near conscious.

Salvia had very sharp hearing, however. Her augmentations made sure of that.

They say that a man's lips are loosest when he is intoxicated or unconscious, mostly because his mind is not being filtered by wakefulness.

And given that the Primarch was both...well....

He shifted his head that was laying on her lap. His short, cropped hair felt like little spikes against the single layer of cotton that was her clothing, grazing against her thighs.

It was beginning to give her goosebumps.

How she ended up in this conundrum...being in the most important office of all of Macragge, on a couch with an exhausted, somewhat intoxicated Primarch asleep on her lap....

She can almost hear her servo skull laughing at her dilemma. (The only way a servo skull would of course...)

It began earlier that night when she had been called out of her quarters by one of the Tech Priests. The Lord Commander was asking if she had a spare hour to help with the Vox system in his office.

She remembered looking at the laundry, the ironing, and the pile of spare parts and tools on her assembly desk.

He was a hard man to say "No I've got things to do" to.

So she ended up here.

Lord Guilliman's personal vox was making all sorts of odd noises. He had specifically asked for her to come have a look. She had disassembled the offending item in less time than in took for him to read the piles of paperwork before him and take a few sips of a vile-smelling concoction from a wineglass on his desk.

"Does it need new parts?" he had asked, leaning a little too close over her shoulder, allowing her a whiff of his aftershave.

She swallowed, ignoring the effect of his proximity on her. "It appears the wirings are shorted, my Lord." she turned to speak to him but avoiding direct eye contact. "I suspect some liquid may have spilt in it."

From the smell of it, it would appear to have had a large amount of coffee had splashed inside the unit.

"I'm going to have to replace a number of components." she was about to stand up and take leave when she felt his fingers tug gently at the sleeve of her dress.

"It can wait." he said. "If you don't mind keeping me company for a little while?"

Once again she found herself unable to turn him down.

Not that she was averse to it of course. Truth be told her heart performed a few somersaults in her chest when he asked her to stay.

It was late. It was a weekend. Roboute Guilliman should be having fun somewhere, unwinding, taking a break.

But he wasn't. Far from it actually. He was in his office. Burning the candle at both ends. Like he always did ten millennia ago. Except back in the day he had his mother remind him that he should take a breather here and there because he was going to work himself to death.

He didn't have that luxury now, of course.

He looked up from the documents he was reading to see her remove the parts that needed replacing on his vox. He knew it had been a result him knocking his cup a few hours ago when he inadvertently nodded off from exhaustion. Normally he would've just let it sit until the morning after, as he had several other functioning units in his office. But he had her summoned anyway...mostly because he decided he needed some good company.

He smiled as he took another sip of the bitter wine that filled his wineglass. He had tried to use this concoction to keep him awake somewhat, as bad as the taste was.

But the effect was quite the opposite.

"Lord Guilliman?"

Salvia's voice very faintly registered as his head slumped forward on his desk.

Roboute can only hold it for so long.

"My Lord you need to rest." she said as she shook his massive shoulder. "Sleeping on your desk is no comfort."

He mumbled incoherently as he raised his sleepy head. "Perhaps." He sat up slowly, yawning, stretching and rubbing his tired eyes. "Can you help me to that seat?"

"Should you not be sleeping in your bedroom?" she asked as she pushed his chair aside so he can get out of it.

"I probably could." he said, laughing slightly. "Would you escort me to my chambers?"

She did not miss the teasing note in his voice.

"Roboute...."

He had taken but a few steps before slowly crashing unto the couch not far from his desk.

He had his arm around her shoulders as she assisted him.

And he pulled her right with him as he sank on the cushions.

Her back landed on there first, with him laying across her in perpendicular fashion.

Had she not been an augmented human she would have likely taken an injury from his weight.

Salvia inched away from her awkward position, trying to get out from under him, only stopping when she heard him speak those words.

"You are my new pillow."

She watched as he shifted into a comfortable position. Head on her lap, arms tucked in, his body somewhat curled.

He looked so relaxed.

Salvia found herself caressing his soft, golden tresses as she leaned back to get some rest herself.

She planted a soft kiss on his cheek before she gave in to the tolls of the day.

"Yes I am...for as long as you wish, my Lord."

Previous prompt inspired by a conversation with @menink0pe. Thank you for the idea ^_^!

FYI: This next drabble is NOT going to make sense. Not with the timeline, not with the canon. Not with anything. Lore be damned and all. Consider it an AU. I just happen to have a silly idea and ran away with it. 

"You are my new pillow."

The Primarch laid his head on said abdomen.

It felt like laying on a stack of solid meat.

It had very little give.

"Isn't this supposed to be comfortable?" Roboute Guilliman observed as he tried to move his head certain ways. He turned left. RIght. Sideways.

"Okay stop." Magnus ordered as he put his massive hand on his brother's forehead. "Your curly mop is beginning to tickle. It's like being rubbed with a loofah."

"What in throne's name is a loofah?"

"I'm not entirely sure, it may have been a living animal at some point, but its now dead, dehydrated and used to exfoliate." The red Primarch explained as he pushed his brother's head aside.

Magnus had been laying on the grass, viewing the night sky when the other Primarch showed up.

"Exfoliate....did Fulgrim show you this with a floofen?" Roboute lifted his head slightly as he tried to find a softer spot to lay on his brother's belly. There seemed to be none as all parts of his torso felt like solid muscle.

"Loofah. Not floofen. Floofen is a term used for cat paws." Magnus corrected as he raised himself on his elbows, the other primarch still on his stomach.

"What on Terra are you trying to do, Roboute?"

"Trying to find a softer spot to put my head on. Did you not hear me call you my new pillow?"

"I did....but I have no soft spots. I am a mass of pure red, sinewy fibers." he explained to which the other Primarch chuckled lightly. "Do you want to test me or what?"

"What I'm trying to test is Karimah's comment." he explained. "She said you were her favorite thing to lay on because you're comfortable....so far I haven't found that to be true." he sat up and turned to his brother. "You're about as comfortable as a stack of bricks."

But that wasn't what turned Magnus' red ears even redder. "Why are you talking to my Habibti about laying on me???"

"Oh she didn't tell that to me." Roboute shrugged. "She told Salvia....who mentioned it to me. I guess women talk about that stuff."

Magnus palm found his face as he shook his head. "I don't think I want to hear the rest of the conversation."

"But I'm curious now, who scrubbed you with a loofah?" asked the Ultramarines Primarch.

"That is none of your business!" Magnus barked as he covered his face.

"Probably Fulgrim. Only he thinks of that grooming regimen. I'm surprised Ferrus never picked up on it. He could use a trim here and there." he said thoughtfully.

"Here. You can be my pillow." Magnus said as he mentally pushed the other primarch down not so gracefully and rested his head on his brother's abdomen.

"You're heavy." Roboute complained. "And your damn hair tickles." he said as he tried to brush the long, red, mane away from his face where it spread like a blanket. "Do you do this to Karimah? Because I swear you would either suffocate her with your weight or your hair. Probably both."

"She knows how to handle me." Magnus said as he pressed the back of his head onto the other Primarch. "You provide no comfort either. It's about as pleasant as laying on a bag of cement."

"Salvia would beg to differ."

"She's too kind, that young woman. You better treat her right."

"Why would I not?"

"Because Karimah will kick you if you don't." Magnus sighed. "Trust me she has the spikiest heels in all of the Imperium."

Roboute pushed Magnus off his lap as the two brothers lay side by side, gazing at the night sky.

"I suppose we can conclude neither of us is going to make a very good pillow." Roboute thought out loud.

"Nope. How they could put up with us amazes me." Magnus chuckled.

"It must've been something in our geneseed that makes us tolerable."

"It didn't work on everybody."

"If I were a Psyker right now I would completely read your mind on who you are referring to....and find out who scrubbed you with that Loofah."

"Remind me to send you a box of it on your birthday....so you can see how its texture rivals that mop on your head."

From the campsite below Salvia was waving her hand at the two Primarchs signalling that dinner was ready.

"Good, I'm hungry." Magnus stood up first and assisted his brother up. "Is she a good cook?"

"The best. You should try the fish. Its almost as good as my Mother makes it."

"Almost?"

"Don't tell her I said that."

"Karimah would tell her probably, she can read your mind."

"Next time we go camping I'm bringing the sisters of Silence." the Ultramarines Primarch snorted.

"As opposed to the small army of bodyguards you already have?"

"Can't help it, they're very protective."

"Let's just enjoy the rest of this trip." Magnus shook his head laughing as the two brothers descended down the hill for the small feast that awaits them.

Also, there is a Magnus x Karimah prompt. The reason I don’t have it posted here is because I am waiting for something special to come with it. It will be posted sometime next week. Indulge with this for now. ^_^

More prompts coming soon whether anyone likes it or not

@mrsdorn @melody-chii @menink0pe @the-fluffy-underbelly

[anonymous-human]

Ah, sure! Sorry about that. How about... Rung, Ratchet, Rodimus, Megatron, Swerve, First Aid, and Ultra Magnus?

(I’m like 80% sure they spoke English on the LL, but I could be wrong. I mean, the con’s would not have spoken English on Earth in the old cartoon if they didn’t. Usually, in 80’s cartoons, Aliens would be speaking a different language if they didn’t know English. But I’m just theorizing! I’m not good at First Aid since i don’t know his character, so sorry about that! Also, sorry for the lateness! this goes for everyone’s requests! it might take a day or two but I promise I’m working on them! I’ve just gotten busy all of a sudden. it’s alright, though.)

Rung

When he catches you singing alone, he just staying outside the door and smiles to himself. He loves your voice! He’ll leave early, but on nights where he can’t sleep, he’ll ask if you can sing. He’s embarrassed about it, but he sucks up his pride just to hear your hidden talent.

Red alert. He told him. He tells him everything. But when Rung was first told, he didn’t entirely believe it. He found it kinda silly, but still listen to what red had to say.

So he asked if you wanted to have a small date in his office, of course, you accepted, but when rung told had Red was talking about you, you felt your sweat drop. Looks like you disabled the camera too late. When he was done explaining the whole human thing, you put your hands up and admitted. It was going to have to be said sometime, right?

He asked if he could see you- the real you, in which you obliged. When you crawled out in your shorts and tank top, he seemed emotionless behind his glasses, but really he was just shocked and a little excited.

You looked kinda really cute. Having you been one of the first humans he has met, at least.

He’s not mad, actually, it’s kinda like holomatter and cybertronians, except you have a metal suite. He’s an accepting person, so yeah, he’ll date a cybertronian who is just a human in a suit. :)

It’s weird and exciting! He’s really excited to see how it pulls through for both of you.

Ratchet

Like Rung, when he catches you singing alone, he just staying outside the door and smiles to himself. He will leave early though, he has work to do.

When you scratch your armor, he just guessed you had been hiding on earth for much too long, giving you human habits.

He didn’t guess you were actually a full blown human in a metal suit.

When he found out, you must’ve lost power after a few too many days without refueling. The thing is you were stuck in the doorway of the med bay, and you couldn’t move. And the backup open in this situation was dumbly put on the outside of the suite.

“Ratchet!” you called out. The microphone wasn’t working, so you needed to practically scream if he was going to hear you through the metal. You leaned up against the front side of the suit. It was nighttime for them, so First Aid and Ambulon were most likely asleep. Ratchet as well. Lucky for you, he had some data pads to go through, so when he heard you, he finally decided to persist on what the hell you needed at this time.

“Do you need me right this second?! Y/n, I’m-” he was cut off by the scene in front of him. When he saw the cold dark eye’s in the suit were off, he became horrified and confused. Your cybertronian body was offline, yet he still heard you calling his name.

You told him there was a panel he needed to open on the front, and a big, red, flashy button he needed to push. When he found the button.

He must have found the button, because the front of the cockpit quickly popped outward, kinda like a sideways parachute, you along with it.

You hit the floor with a grunt and gasped as the cold air hit your arms and legs.

“Primus, do you guys have a built-in heat system?” you complained as you rubbed your arms. It had been the first time out of your suit while not in your hab.

When you finally looked up at the medic, his emotions were mixed. He was angry because he was courting a fragging human, he was freaked out because his s/o was a fragging human, and yet he was emotionless. He quickly came to the assumption he was dreaming or hallucinating from his old age or lack of sleep and Energon.

He just looked down at you, then he looked at the suite, then back at you.

“You’re… you’re human?” he was definitely shocked.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Ratch.”

After this whole scenario, he left to think through his actions, rethink his life. I mean, yeah, it made total sense now but… why?

He needs a drink for this.

After some time with you, he warmed up to the fact your human, he keeps it a secret too, if that’s your plan.

He’s okay with it actually. It just means he can hold you in his hand and he can hold your giant cyber hand.

Rodimus

When he caught you singing he listened for a bit. If it was a song he knew he’s gonna sing with you.

He found out you were human when he ‘flamed out’, burning your metal suit so it metal was really hot from the flames and heated up on the inside, long longer suitable for a human such as yourself to wear.

You dashed back to your hab to get out until the heat chilled. They didn’t need you right this second, did they?

The thing is your pants got caught on the hot metal and you were stuck as you struggled for freedom of the burning metal.

Rodimus happened to walk in as you were hanging from your pant leg.

He froze.

Of course, you hadn’t told him you were human! You had the idea in your head Rodimus would tell the crew your secret.

The SECOND thing I should mention is that he came in with Drift behind him. And now you were haNGING FROM THE END OF ONE OF HIS SWORDS. DRIFT, BUDD, IT’S ME HOLY SHI-

Anyway, Rodimus initially thought you had killed his conjunx, but when he noticed the cockpit in your giant cybertronian suit, it all made sense to him.

How you knew so much about the earth, the references, your habits!

They were all human! But why would you hide in a metal suit?

You told him you did it because that way you could eat the rohot pussy ((shaddup anon)) you could blend in easier. You weren’t some sort of assassin, just didn’t think cybertronians liked humans.

And what were you supposed to do? You were already in too deep in. “I’m sorry for not telling you.” you apologized. You told him you’d be cool if he wanted to break up with you.

Are you fragging serious?! No way! This is too cool!

He says you look cute as a human, and shouldn’t wear the metal suit all the time!

Megatron

When he catches you singing, he doesn’t know the song (he likes old-before-the-war songs), but he likes your voice.

In his writings, he writes about how he regrets killing the thousands of millions of human lives he destroyed. He tells you how he wishes he could apologize to them or go back in time and stop himself.

“I forgive you,” you said as you were with him alone together in his quarters. You mentally smacked yourself upside the head. When you said that. Well, you obviously did forgive him. You were in a red relationship with the ex-tyrant.

He was confused by what you meant then, but when he found out, he looked horrified. (I don’t know how you tell him, use the imagination i don’t have!). You. a human being. From earth. Who survived his destruction. Who watched as he killed many of your own kind. Forgave him.

He broke down if and when you two were in private. He would completely lose posture he would lift you up in shaking servos. He would apologize over and over.

“It’s alright.” you would tell him as you rubbed his helm. “It’s all over now.” but it wasn’t. He was still feared everywhere he went.

He vowed to himself he would love a protect you for the rest of your short, sad life.

If you tell the crew, he lets you sit on his shoulder or hands for mobility. Big-bucket-head-bodyguard-boyfriend. It’s awesome.

Swerve

Can i just say right now, since you don’t actually drink the Energon you have your suit drink, SO, you can win a drinking contest?

If your suit makes you look like a bigger bot like Skids or Rodimus, which I imagine you would, he’s all about that life™.

When he catches you singing, like Rodimus, if he knows the song, he’ll join you. It’s all fun.

Whether you tell him you’ve ‘visited’ earth or not is up to you though.  

If you do tell him, he would be ecstatic! He’s never been there before! What was it like?  The next time you plan on going, can you bring me with? please?!

He’s really excited.

Instead of catching you out of your suite, the walking talking about how cool it would be too. So, despite it being the dumbest idea that could destroy your relationship, you took a chance. you would have to tell him someday, anyway.

You planned to tell him on his creation day and to lead him to your hab and get out of the cockpit when he was ready.

It went smoothly. You lead him there, letting him in first and walking in with him, locking the door so there would be no interruptions.

“Are you ready? This… this may be a shock to you.” you said, nervously rubbing your servos together. He nodded, Yeah! Yeah! Show me already!”

You, not ready yourself took a deep inhale and a long exhale. You flip some switches in order to power down the suit and the engine stops. You take off your gloves and helmet. You push some cords back and you pop open the front of the cockpit. You climb down and look up at the red and white mech before you.

Swerve is speechless. Well, not entirely. In the first 5 seconds, he was quiet. Then he tried to put together words as he spoke, but they came out and gibberish. He looked like he was about to faint.

“H-hey- hey, hey. Calm down,” you said, putting your hands up, trying to keep his attention so he literally wouldn’t faint. Can cybertronians faint?

“… but! asd-HOW?!” he tried to ask. He was going through shock city and was slowly coming back. You explained to him cybertronians were so advanced, you were curious HOW advanced, so you disguised yourself in a giant metal suit to blend in.

“If you want to break off the relationship, I’m chill with it.” you said, you avoided eye contact as you said that.

“Are you serious?” he said, a grin spreading across his faceplate. “This is awesome!your awesome! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

He’s really happy actually! Well, for one thing, he isn’t the smallest anymore. And Another thing is HE’S EARTH DATING A HUMAN. He’s the happiest camper.

Once you’re ready to tell the rest of your friends, you’ll let him tell, he’s lit.

Ultra Magnus

He loves music, and he’s no stranger to human music. So when he catches you singing, he stops and stares, not wanting to disturb you. It was obviously an earth song, not recognizable to him, but he was enjoying your voice anyway.

When you finally see him, you gasp! He quickly gets embarrassed and apologized, turning around out of your hab, down the hall… out the airlock, he goes. Not really, but when he’s embarrassed he regrets like no tomorrow.

You had thought he was going to pull another all-nighter, so you got out of your metal armor to stretch after a long, long day.

Yet, you miss judged the timing, and you fell asleep on your berth.

You woke up to Magnus just looking between you and your suite.

He doesn’t understand what he’s witnessing until you explain, and in the end, he reveals to you his own secret to you as well.

Your giant metal suit buddies.