#who I kept having to throw bombs at bc they’d keep going out of my range????

[cherryistired]

Speaking of octo expansion….

I can’t explain why, but I think my reaction after fighting agent 3 is funny

[its-love-u-asshole]

Slipping Underneath [Ch. 3]

Pairings: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei

Summary: Tsukishima was in some deep shit he realized, but common sense told him he should have been rather happy about the discovery he’d just made. Of course, that didn’t stop him from freaking out.

“Tsukki? Did something happen?” Bokuto asked.

Dejected, the blond lifted his head, giving Bokuto the flattest stare he could manage. “The neighbor downstairs hates my voice.”

Rating: T

Tags: soulmates, mythology/sirens AU, some iwaoi and bokuaka thrown in bc why not, first meetings, fluff, Kuroo is a nerd and Tsukki can’t help but be charmed, Siren!Tsukki, Siren!Bokuto

Note: Hello again lol -sweats- school and work are kinda kicking my ass right now, but I hope this extra long chapter makes up for it! Enjoy! <3 

AO3

The last time Tsukishima had spent this much time looking in the mirror was never.

Never.

He'd never wasted such valuable time with something so unimportant. Mornings were for coffee, for breakfast, for the basic hygiene required for him to drag his ass out of bed and onto campus for four hours of lectures. Basically, amidst all his studies, Tsukishima didn't have much time for fashion. If he did enough to not look like a complete slob, then what was the point of trying harder?

Today there was a change in that usual mindset, though he hardly welcomed it.

"Tsukki, what are you doing?" Bokuto's voice drifted over from the sofa, where he and Akaashi were carelessly lounging before heading out on their own date.

They made it look so damn easy. Bokuto wasn't even wearing matching socks.

Tsukishima hated him.

"Nothing, just zoning out," he muttered in response, and it wasn't the most unbelievable answer. Tsukishima tended to get lost in his thoughts, and he valued peace and quiet, so Bokuto should've been used to it.

Damn bastard always had to be perceptive at the worst times.

Bokuto's eyes were wide as he stared, no doubt because of how Tsukishima had been standing in front of the mirror scrutinizing his oversized wool knit sweater and skinny jeans for the past half hour. The colors were starting to offend him, the grey and black looking too bland and dreary for a night out. However, it seemed he was stuck with it.

It wasn't his fault though alright?

Bokuto was still unaware of Tsukishima's plans for the night, more because of his own pride than any actual secrets he needed to keep. Kuroo's jokes might've been illegal, but hanging out with him certainly wasn't. Why Tsukishima couldn't own up to going on a date mostly had to do with Bokuto's likely overzealous response, and Tsukishima's own nerves.

This date was another test, nothing more. No need to make a big deal out of it.

Yet, the traitorous voice in the back of his head whispered, and Tsukishima politely told it to fuck off. Of course, it didn't stop his palms from sweating, or his rapid heartbeat. The light twist of excitement in his gut remained, his face felt hot...

Get a grip.

It was a first date, and it may be the only date. He'd meant it when he'd decided to get to know Kuroo first before submitting to the whole soulmate delusion, and he wasn't quite done judging. It's how he was, fucking sue him. And until he'd properly decided on how to feel about Kuroo, his friends would be kept in the dark.

Which was why Tsukishima couldn't allow himself to be stupid enough to try on multiple outfits in front of them (no matter how much he wanted to, because seriously, what was he thinking), for that would surely be a red flag. So he'd simply had to accept his fate, hoping his choice of attire ended up being acceptable.

He was having his doubts, but again, there was no turning back. Unless he somehow spilled something on his current outfit, which could look real if he played it off well enough...

Wait.

At that, Tsukishima glared at his own reflection, hoping to burn through the glass. If only he'd been born a shape-shifting chimera, then maybe he'd just be able to burn his entire apartment down, and wouldn't be forced to fret over his outfit any longer.

Okay, that was a bit extra, but still.

He shouldn't even care enough to think about trying on other outfits, shouldn't care enough to pick off the fraying strands of his sweater, or debate which jacket to wear over it.

(God, what fucking jacket even goes with this?)

It didn't matter. They were just going bowling anyways. Fucking bowling. There wouldn't be time for Kuroo to judge Tsukishima's outfit too much. Right?

"I think your bomber jacket would look nice with that Tsukishima," Akaashi's steady voice shattered through his bubble, and Tsukishima jerked anxiously as he met the other's gaze. Ah, a mistake of course.

Those grey eyes were fixed on him like an attack dog, calm but intense as they stripped Tsukishima of any excuse or lie. They bored into him as Akaashi could read his mind, like he could freeze anyone in their tracks with the sheer amount of knowing his eyes held. Tsukishima couldn't move, and in that exact moment, he knew Akaashi knew.

Sometimes, Tsukishima wondered if he too wasn't some kind of magical being, but so far no further evidence had surfaced.

Tsukishima swallowed, glancing at Bokuto as he obliviously traced circles the exposed skin of Akaashi’s abdomen, his attention on some commercial rather than Tsukishima. He looked back at Akaashi, but by then the spell was broken.

"Just saying," Akaashi finished, shrugging off Tsukishima's panicked expression like it was nothing. He simply turned back to the television as the game show they'd been watching returned, having said what he'd needed to.

At least Tsukishima didn't have to worry about Akaashi telling Bokuto about the date, at least not yet. If they continued, he didn't doubt Akaashi would be alright keeping things from his boyfriend much longer.

Damnit.

Tsukishima stomped into his room, tearing his closet open only to find his dark bomber jacket hanging neatly right in his face. Like it was waiting for him.

Fuck you, stupid jacket.

Still, he grabbed it, not bothering to pick up the hanger as it flew to the floor, and fuck it all.

He stood in front of the mirror one last time, pretty much done with existing altogether. Akaashi was right. It looked perfect.

--

Kuroo was not fifteen minutes early.

He was definitely not parked outside of Tsukishima's apartment fifteen minutes early because he'd been too excited for their date, and obsessed with being right on time. He was surely not parked outside of Tsukishima's apartment fifteen minutes early because he'd experienced a massive moment of anxiety, convinced something tragic would happen if he didn't arrive ahead of time.

No. Certainly not.

Kuroo was twenty minutes early.

He groaned as his hands gripped the steering wheel, glancing over his shoulder to make sure his car was clean even though he'd just checked before leaving his own apartment. Hell, he'd torn apart his car this morning, ridding it of old soda cans, receipts, and suspicious pieces of debris, not to mention a bag of fast food wrappers which he had no memory of even purchasing. Needless to say, when he'd opened it (since he was nothing but a lowly fool with no common sense), he'd nearly barfed. Then he'd exploded a lysol bomb all over the interior of the car, and then used air freshener to mask it when he'd deemed the chemical smell too strong.

Then there was vacuuming the seats, and washing the outside of his car, something he hadn't felt the need to do in weeks (who cared? It was college, who had money to wash their car all the time?) due to time and general laziness.

In short, the inside of his car looked like he'd driven straight from the dealership, and he still wasn't convinced. What was wrong with him?

Tsukishima. That was what was wrong with him, yet it felt so damn right.

The blond was so fun to be around, and after their study date he'd been craving more and more of the other's time. There were so many questions he'd yet to ask, so many answers he wanted to know.

Kuroo had never felt so weirdly taken by anyone this much before. The snark, the bite, coupled with the beauty and brains really just made Tsukishima the perfect package already, but it felt deeper than all that. The blond's eyes lit up when he spoke about the things he loved, his face flushed when he felt he'd gone on too long or if Kuroo stared too much. His eyes spoke volumes when he allowed them to, and he desperately tried to keep them quiet, but Kuroo saw and heard.

And that was what pulled Kuroo in, the need to share with Tsukishima and be shared with. He wanted to be around Tsukishima more than anything else. And destroy him in bowling, but that was more of a side goal.

So with that in mind, and no pride to speak of, he texted Tsukishima.

>> so would it be totally awful if I was here early

Kuroo glanced at the clock, thankful he'd managed to kill five minutes obsessing over his car. Now it really did look like he was only fifteen minutes earlier, very superior to twenty minutes. He was so in the clear now.

Kuroo shook his head at himself, already regretting the text as his stomach twisted with nerves. As if Tsukishima would up and cancel the date because of this.

...would he?

Kuroo's leg bounced as the three dots appeared under his text, telling him Tsukishima was typing up his reply. Whoever thought of those was a shit bag.

Kuroo felt like he'd been waiting hours when the dots finally stopped blinking, and he held his breath as the reply came in with a bing, the words strong enough to send him to the moon and back with joy.

<< Not necessarily.

--

The car ride remained silent all the way up to when Kuroo parked, but it was more from a strange brewing of barely contained excitement more than anything else. From the moment Tsukishima had stepped out onto the sidewalk, strolling up to the curb Kuroo was parked on, they'd been done for.

Kuroo looked good, stupidly good, in his thrown together clothes (okay, throw together was a bit harsh, but jeans and a sweatshirt didn't strike Tsukishima as all that fancy). Yet his hair was wet, and a bit wilder, showing how Kuroo must've tried to make it look presentable before coming. The car the was clean, smelling perhaps a bit too much like the apple air freshener hanging on the mirror, and the subtle changes were noticeable. The fancy watch Kuroo had on his wrist, the faintest smell of cologne, and the blinding sparkle in his eyes.

It was too much for Tsukishima to deal with honestly, because he felt important. Far more important than he thought he deserved, considering to Kuroo he really was nothing more than a brand new friend at most. Sure, there was obvious attraction, or else Kuroo wouldn't have asked him out at all...right? But otherwise, they weren't terribly close.

They'd been on one sort of date, and now there was this...so why was Kuroo acting like Tsukishima deserved the very best right from the get go? Right from the damn car ride?

Even though Tsukishima knew the truth, Kuroo didn't. He wasn't a potential soulmate to Kuroo, he wasn't some possibly destined lover (though Tsukishima always had his skepticism on that subject) and it sort of stung when he thought about it. It was irrational, since Kuroo had no reason to treat him with such seriousness, but emotions were evil like that. 

But then shit like this happened. With Kuroo getting out of the car to greet him, to beam at him and tell him he looked great. To stay too long at street signals because at every red light, he couldn't stop himself from looking right at Tsukishima.

Kuroo was acting like Tsukishima was oh so special, and the worst part was, Tsukishima couldn't find it in himself to hate it. In fact, his heart sped up every time those eyes drifted to him. His face felt hot, his body felt light, and it didn't take him long to realize that he hadn't looked away from Kuroo either. Not once since they'd left his apartment.

Like he said, done for.

And now they'd have to wade out of this charged silence together. Awesome.

Kuroo cut the ignition to the car, and only then did Tsukishima actually look at the clock. He blinked in confusion, noting how it had taken them around twenty minutes to get to the supposed bowling alley.

Not too far by any normal standard, but for living on a college campus, it struck him as odd. There were definitely bowling alleys near or even on campus, Tsukishima was sure of it, and those would've taken less than ten minutes to reach.

He looked outside, noting the distinct lack of other cars in the parking lot. There were three total, to be exact, including theirs.

Fishy.

Like, hella fishy.

Like, Tsukishima hoped his supposed soulmate wasn't a serial killer kind of fishy. Goddamn. Tsukishima turned back to Kuroo, who was biting his lip as he analyzed the steering wheel. Okay, so he looked nervous, that was sort of a good sign. Sort of.

Tsukishima thought of all the best ways to start a conversation in the scenario he was now in, but none of them felt particularly worthy, so he decided to rely on his usual bluntness. Fuck it.

"So are you going to stuff me in your trunk, or are you trading me to some kind of mafia lord as payment for your sins?" Tsukishima deadpanned, keeping his face as neutral as possible while Kuroo all but choked.

God, Tsukishima was going to have so much fun with this, and he didn't even feel bad. He stared at Kuroo, accusatory, his hand placed on the car handle as if he were about to flee.

(A side note: Tsukishima did not like theatrics, this was simply a rare exception, and he'd make that excuse until he died dammit.)

Kuroo stopped and attempted to start a sentence a total of five times, until eventually slumping back into his seat. His eyes flashed with something akin to mischief, before he schooled his expression into the most serious form he could manage.

It was borderline hilarious, if only because Tsukishima had never seen Kuroo attempt to look anything other than sweet or suave.

Unblinking, Kuroo sighed, taking his hands off the steering wheel as he stared right at him.

"I mean...I don't think you'd fit in my trunk," Kuroo finally said, only elaborating when Tsukishima arched a brow. "You know, tall. You're tall. I would have to do a lot of extra work to cram you back there, and I didn't bring gloves so--"

"So your fingerprints would be all over me," Tsukishima said with a nod, completely understanding. Then he squinted, and afterthought crossing his mind. "Change of clothes?"

"Nope, unfortunately not," Kuroo replied, shaking his head. "All that blood, there's no way I'd come away clean. Now, dumping you in the lake..."

"Too conspicuous, you'd have to haul me at least half a mile. You should've parked closer," Tsukishima replied, keeping his voice as steady as possible. It was much easier said than done, a snort nearly slipped out when Kuroo looked positively thwarted.

"Damn, that's not a good idea then huh?" Kuroo slammed his fist on the dash, concealing a smile in his shoulder as he turned away.

"You would be pretty stupid to try," Tsukishima concluded, already feeling the laughter begin to bubble in his throat. He wouldn't crack first though, he refused to. "So, gang debt?"

Kuroo spun back to him dramatically, his eyes desperate.

"I needed the money, this was the only way they'd take me seriously," Kuroo said, his hand clenching as he too fought to hide his laughter. "Please, you have to understand, my dog is very sick--"

At that, Tsukishima finally broke, letting one very unattractive snort get past him before he could clamp his hands over his mouth. "Seriously? I'm not worth more than your fucking dog? You couldn't even make it like...your grandmother or something?"

"Hey, Neko is an important member of my family," Kuroo continued, his voice cracking as laughter seeped into his words. "He's been with me all my life and--"

"You named your dog Neko?"

"My mom said I could only have one pet, a dog or a cat, but I wanted both," Kuroo explained, hands gesturing wildly like he was spitting some sort of universal truth rather than a stupid childhood story. "So I compromised. I got a dog and I named it cat, because I'm a goddamn genius."

"Oh my god--"

"I was six."

Tsukishima's face was in his lap now, unwilling to show Kuroo how fucking breathless he was because what the fuck. Kuroo was full on cackling beside him, giving up the ruse at last as he clutched his stomach, and it was probably the most obnoxious noise Tsukishima had ever heard. Still, he couldn't stop laughing, he couldn't remember the last time he'd been this amused. His face hurt as he tried to get ahold of himself, to school his expression to something calmer.

He did his best to glare at Kuroo as their broken laughter slowly faded. "You were going to murder me for a dog."

"First off, I wasn't being serious. And in my defense, I think a lot of people would kill for a dog," Kuroo said, wiping tears from his eyes. "Wouldn't you?"

"Oh I'd slaughter humanity for a basket of puppies, but that's not the point," Tsukishima deadpanned, giving way to more of Kuroo's cough inducing laughter. Okay, now they really needed to quit it. Kuroo was going to die. "What are we doing in this parking lot if you're not a serial killer?"

At that Kuroo smiled sheepishly, his giggles subsiding at last as he threw Tsukishima a soft smile. Illegal, Tsukishima thought, but he wouldn't admit it. No matter how his heart flipped.

Test date, he reminded himself. One which hadn't even really started yet, all things considered. Tsukishima ignored the part of his brain which told him he was already plenty satisfied though, because that part of his brain was a delusional ass.

"I thought of taking you to one of the places near campus, since it's more familiar and whatever," Kuroo started, rubbing the back on his neck. It was endearing as hell, and Tsukishima hated him for it. "But I don't know, those places always feel too crowded. My friends and I come here usually. It's farther away, but that also means it's usually pretty empty. More romantic I guess...heh."

Tsukishima blinked in confusion, ignoring the flush on his face as he looked out into the parking lot. How he'd missed the building to his right side, he didn't know. It was a long, one story building, with a shoddy looking sign which blinked in a gaudy neon pink color.

Bowling.

Oh yeah.

"But I'm still going to kick your ass," Kuroo tacked on, his usual smug grin returning. And of course, as insufferable as it was, Tsukishima couldn't help but rise to the challenge.

That's what you think.

"We'll see," Tsukishima said, his tone bored as he opened the car door, fighting to keep the smile off his face.

--

True to Kuroo's word, the bowling alley was mostly empty. There were two more parties occupying lanes, but Kuroo had chosen one farther away from the door, at the end of the building. Thus, they pretty much had total privacy.

The lack of noise helped with Tsukishima's nerves too. Instead of the constant rolling of bowling balls and striking of pins, the sounds were faint. Present, but not distracting or grating enough to make Tsukishima's senses go into overload. The place smelled like buttery popcorn and overpriced fried food, as well as floor cleaner and polish, but again, it was fitting. The AC was strong enough to make Tsukishima zip up his jacket after he toed on his bowling shoes, but otherwise, the atmosphere was welcoming.

And surely, the relaxing mood was a much needed prerequisite considering how intense the game could get. Kuroo was already testing out his swings, and Tsukishima didn't know whether to roll his eyes or do the same.

He really did hate losing.

Which is also why he swore vengeance when his first ball rolled right into the gutter.

"Damn," he muttered under his breath, pouting despite himself as he had to take the walk of shame back to the ball rack. Kuroo was doing a piss poor job of keeping his amusement in check as he watched Tsukishima take a second turn, and momentarily, Tsukishima thought he might just kill Kuroo himself. The lake wasn't too far away.

Such was the punishment of anyone who witnessed his failures.

By the time it was Kuroo's turn, Tsukishima had managed 5 points, and it was pitiful, but Tsukishima reminded himself they were only just beginning. (Also what the hell? When had he gotten this intense?)

"Alright," Kuroo said smugly as he got into position. "Watch and learn okay, I'm the master when it comes to this. You gotta line it up."

Oh god. I'll line you up.

.

.

Wait.

Kuroo swung, and the ball rolled lightning fast down the lane, and Tsukishima was momentarily swept up in it, because it truly looked like it would be a strike.

Well, until it veered last minute, hitting one pin, and one pin only.

The sound of it falling was so deafening Tsukishima thought he'd die from how tragically comedic it was.

One fucking pin.

Kuroo was cracking up almost instantly, some spit flying from his mouth from the force of it, but Tsukishima willed himself to stay calm. (His lungs were crying though, they hated him completely).

"You showed me," he deadpanned, the smallest of smiles on his face as Kuroo continued to prance arrogantly about, as if he'd just rolled three strikes in a row instead of whatever the fuck that was.

"I was demonstrating a warm up, you can't just try on the first turn," Kuroo explained, taking his second swing. He somehow managed to make a spare. Bastard.

"So that spare wasn't trying?"

"Nope, I'm just that good," Kuroo taunted, gesturing for Tsukishima to take his next turn. How kind.

Tsukishima grabbed the prism colored ball defiantly, making sure Kuroo saw how heavy it was (sue him, he was a dude, he could show off every once in a while) and took his stance.

Kuroo wouldn't stop grinning though, and started circling Tsukishima like a fly, trying to get his arms around him to make him stand "correctly."

"I'm trying to help you!" Kuroo shouted through his laughter, but Tsukishima dodged him again, keeping his own giggles at bay. No. Nope.

"Fuck off, I can do it myself!" Tsukishima lined himself up as quickly as possible, but right before he could step forward, Kuroo's hands were there again, resting on his forearms. He really really tried not to be pleased about it.

Kuroo smelled nice, like super nice. Beneath the unnatural cologne there was mint and the scent of fresh linens, and more than all that...Kuroo was warm. Tsukishima wasn't even tired, but he didn't doubt that if he'd been wrapped up with Kuroo next to him, he could've fallen asleep no problem.

"Tsukki, you'll never have a chance at beating me if you don't take my expert advice--"

"Screw your advice, I'm going to beat you all by myself to show how full of it you are," Tsukishima said as he ever so slightly inched out of Kuroo's grasp.

"Tsukki, you wound me," Kuroo sighed, and Tsukishima almost couldn't help himself from taking a peek at his face to see the fake sadness in all its glory, but no. This was the opening he'd needed.

While Kuroo was distracted with running his own mouth, Tsukishima took his turn. It was a sloppy swing, mostly because he hadn't had time to take the correct position and aim, but it still managed to knock down eight pins.

He couldn't help it, didn't really care how immature or childlike he was being, he spun around to face Kuroo instantly, flashing him the most smug grin he could manage.

"Psh whatever, don't get too cocky if you can't get a spare," Kuroo said, tilting his head in that aggravating way Tsukishima knew he'd come to hate. Mostly because it made him look too damn attractive, but whatever, he didn't have to acknowledge that.

And he did get a spare by the way. He was still behind in points, but he'd closed the gap.

Not like it mattered. From that point on, they started losing focus on the game completely, at least as a form of competition. It didn't take long for them to start goofing around, trying new swings and techniques, all the while making complete asses of themselves.

"Okay...so," Kuroo said on his fifth turn, watching as the ball spun slowly, knocking into the pins so delicately one would wonder if a toddler had done the swinging. Tsukishima had to hide his smile in his hand. "That was a terrible shot."

"You think?" Tsukishima said as he stood, grabbing the fourteen pound ball. He was mostly joking, but..."What if we use the heavier one?"

"I think you're gonna break your arm," Kuroo said, glancing at the cotton candy colored ball with legitimate worry. When he saw Tsukishima actually moving to line up, he put his hands up in surrender. "Okay, c'mon. Put it down."

"You c'mon, I'm just testing it," Tsukishima muttered, and before Kuroo could say anything else, Tsukishima swung his arm...only to drop the ball on the ground.

It made a sound that echoed through the building, enough so that the staff glanced their way, and Tsukishima debated walking out of there right then.

Kuroo was having a field day meanwhile, clutching his stomach. Asshole. "I told you!"

"Shut up," Tsukishima grunted, but it hardly had the desired effect. All through the evening, he'd been smiling far too much. It was unhealthy.

"Seriously though," Kuroo began, his voice breathless from his laughing fit as he came up to Tsukishima. "Are you okay?"

Kuroo walked up to him, taking Tsukishima's long fingers in his hand as he inspected them. His touch was gentle, like Tsukishima was glass, but his eyes were serious as they looked for any sign of bruising of redness.

"Your foot's alright too I'm guessing, since you're standing still," Kuroo joked, looking up from Tsukishima fingers until their eyes met. He must've realized what he was doing then, because the playful smile all but fell. They were standing really close, and Tsukishima thought maybe he'd be fine with it if Kuroo linked their hands together.

Kuroo's eyes were a lot more vibrant up close, he realized.

Kuroo cleared his throat, the nerves settling in, and Tsukishima wanted to hit him for looking so damn genuine all the time. Who was this guy? Kuroo's gaze was filled with nothing but adoration, and all for him. Tsukishima didn't think he was breathing, but if getting away from Kuroo was the solution to that, then he'd just deal with the suffocation.

Kuroo gave Tsukishima's hand one last squeeze before asking the question with the most obvious of answers. "Are you having fun?"

An understatement. Fun. Tsukishima was having more than enough. He felt guilty, because he really hadn't expected to, but Kuroo kept managing to surprise him in the simplest of ways. Tsukishima lowered his gaze, unable to answer without his face flushing instantly. He looked at their joined hands one more time, and they somehow provided the courage he needed.

"Yeah, let's keep going." Tsukishima's voice was soft, softer than he'd ever heard it outside of when he was singing, but he found he wasn't as embarrassed as he should've been.

--

By the second game, they'd basically stopped caring about the points. It was all about trying to knock down the pins any way they could, be it alone or together.

Kuroo would try to put a spin on the ball. Result: total failure, it hit the pins in the next lane over.

Tsukishima tried to swing with his left hand. Result: mixed, he managed to get six pins.

Kuroo tried to swing behind his back. Result: mixed, somehow managed to get two pins, but Kuroo probably fucked up his arm.

And of course, they tried going at the same time, upon which they finally managed to get a strike. Tsukishima was way happier about it than was appropriate for a game of bowling.

He didn't really know what had gotten into him, but he'd moved to hug Kuroo automatically after the victory, letting himself be twirled in place as the pinsetter moved to recollect the fallen pins.

He'd been right before. In Kuroo's arms, he felt safe, secure. At least, he did for a second, until he realized exactly what he was doing.

Kuroo's arms tightened around him as they froze, pulling away a little until they were face to face. This wasn't the first time that night that they'd been so close, but Tsukishima was nowhere near used to it. Doubted he'd ever be.

They were both breathless from laughing so much, foreheads slightly damp from the exercise and the stuffiness of the building, but it didn't make Tsukishima feel any less energized or displeased.

Usually, after being out and forced to socialize for so long, he'd need a recharge. A quiet place, alone time. He'd be dying to leave, to get out of there and listen to some music or curl up in bed. Some people drained him more than others sure, but Kuroo had by far exceeded any of his previous limits.

Tsukishima didn't feel on empty. He felt like he could be around Kuroo for hours, days even, and not feel the strain. It was terrifying, because if it weren't for their game ending, he could've stayed there with Kuroo for far longer.

The scoring machine buzzed, signaling that their session was up, and it seemed to break the spell. Kuroo dropped his arms, and Tsukishima tried not to miss them.

Kuroo beamed at him, pushing his messy bangs back as he kept his eyes on Tsukishima, even as he talked about splitting up. "You look spent, you wanna buy us some waters while I clean up? I'll meet you at the checkout."

And still, neither of them moved.

"Yeah, sure," Tsukishima said, as he stood rooted to his spot. There was that pull again, like he really didn't want to leave Kuroo's side. And it was obviously mutual, as much as he tried to deny it.

Eventually though, he did manage to pull himself away (he'd only be gone for two minutes dammit, why did he feel like this), and busied himself with the vending machines up towards the entrance.

As he took out his card to pay, he felt his movements start to rely on autopilot as his mind ran wild. The date was going to be over after this, and Tsukishima didn't know how to deal with that. He'd never done this before.

Were they supposed to go somewhere else? Schedule to meet up again? Was Kuroo going to walk him up to his apartment? As much as Tsukishima sort of hoped so, he didn't know what that entailed.

Did he invite Kuroo in? No. Bokuto would most likely be home, so there'd be none of...whatever came next. Nothing depraved.

It's the first date, calm down.

Thing was, he probably wouldn't have minded too much, with how he felt right then. His heartbeat was close to beating right out of his chest.

This was stupid. Why was he getting so wrapped up in this? Kuroo was still being tested, so why did Tsukishima want to keep the night from ending so damn badly?

It probably wasn't a good sign. Or maybe it was, depending on who he asked.

Even as he thought that, he couldn't scrub the soft smile off of his face, so that was probably telling enough. He could brush it off though...for now.

However, apparently he was more hopeless than he thought.

As he paid for the second bottle, watching as it dispensed, he failed to notice the other presence beside him until it was too late.

"Hey beautiful, you know...you've got a stunning voice."

Tsukishima jolted away from the voice, one way too close to his ear, and the love struck haze around him finally faded into nothing as he took in the unwelcome visitor. It was one of the young guys from the other bowling group, college age, maybe a year or two older than him.

Short black hair, arrogant grin, all brought together by his obviously flirtatious posture. The guy had no decency at all, and while it wasn't necessarily that he was ugly, Tsukishima's nose still scrunched up in disgust.

The advances were unwelcome, and Tsukishima would've kindly told him to fuck off, if he hadn't registered the words first.

My voice?

"What are you talking about?" Tsukishima demanded, glaring as the guy made a move to step closer, trying to cage him in against the vending machine. Like he'd allow it. Tsukishima was over six feet tall goddammit, he was one intimidating motherfucker if he wanted to be. He wasn't about to be pushed around or harassed.

Then again, this might've been his fault in the first place...

"Your voice, you were singing and I just...I had to come over here, please do it again! I'll do anything!" The other's voice was dreamy, but with an edge of desperation Tsukishima was far too familiar with.

Oh no...

Tsukishima took a good look at him, and yeah, all the signs were there. The guy's pupils were blown wide, hardly any trace of dark brown left to see. He looked almost mystified, like he was being controlled by some unknown force of magic. He was practically salivating too, his mouth hanging open as he inched closer, and fuck, had Tsukishima been singing?

He'd heard of sirens singing without realizing before, hell, Bokuto did it all the time, but Tsukishima had never been a victim of it. What the hell was going on?

In this case, he couldn't exactly hate the guy either. He truly couldn't help himself from coming onto Tsukishima, he was completely at Tsukishima's mercy, all because of his dumb magic. No wonder he wasn't scared away by Tsukishima's height or menacing stares. None of that shit mattered if someone was under the influence of a siren's song.

They had no choice.

It would wear off soon, since Tsukishima had stopped singing, but it didn't make things less uncomfortable in the meantime.

Tsukishima tried to get around the guy, to get distance, but it was in vain. He was stopped again as the guy persistently kept trying to herd him.

"Hey where you going? Can I come? I'll take you anywhere you want," he begged, already fishing out his car keys. "I love you, so I'll do anything."

"No, you really don't," Tsukishima insisted, glancing around sharply to make sure no one else was seeing the scene. Damn this guy for talking so loud. Tsukishima just wanted the magic to wear off already, if Kuroo came--

"What's going on here?"

Well so much for that.

Tsukishima turned to see Kuroo leaning against the far wall, eyes trained on the dude who was currently trying to get his hands on Tsukishima. It didn't look good. Well, for the guy anyways. It wasn't like Tsukishima could tell Kuroo to let it go, since doing so would mean revealing his secret. No chance in hell that was happening.

Kuroo gradually approached, and Tsukishima used the distraction to finally escape, moving a few feet away from his accidental victim. Kuroo's smile was friendly, but he gave off a vibe that communicated nothing of the sort. Razor sharp and cutting, an expression he'd never seen on Kuroo before. Again, he kept surprising him.

It sent a chill down Tsukishima's spine, activating some weird perverted glee inside him at seeing Kuroo jealous, but it was there and gone in an instant. Especially when the act of Kuroo stepping in seemed to shatter any spell Tsukishima's singing had over the stranger.

The man shook his head, his brow furrowing as he took in his surroundings. He looked like a lost little kid in a department store, but it was better than before.

"Oh uh, sorry man? No worries here..." The stranger blinked up at the ceiling, then at Kuroo, and finally at Tsukishima, no doubt confused out of his mind. Then just like that, he was walking away, joining his group of friends as if nothing had happened.

Good.

Tsukishima sighed in relief. At least things hadn't gotten too messy. That would've been annoying.

"Well that was weird," Kuroo began, the tension fading out of his shoulders as he faced Tsukishima. The hostility had drained out of his face. "You okay?"

Tsukishima nodded, a bit too dazed himself to speak. Especially now that Kuroo was so close to him again.

"Awesome, uh I paid n' stuff, so we can head out!" Kuroo held up his car keys, rattling them a bit. Tsukishima tried not to show his disappointment, because really, there shouldn't have been any. They'd spent plenty of time together already, it had to come to an end.

"But I figured, we could stop by this place I know and get something to eat?" Kuroo spoke up just as Tsukishima was finally convincing himself of returning home.

He looked up at Kuroo, once again hit with a smile he could only describe as smitten. Nerd.

As stupid as it was, and as much as Tsukishima should've declined, how could could he resist? Masking his excitement over the invitation would be a challenge though.

Luckily, his stomach answered for him, emitting a low growl which sent Kuroo into another laughing fit, and it sealed the deal right up.

Yeah, maybe dinner was the best idea.

--

Tsukishima started to think there were more to those siren myths Bokuto had been screaming about than he'd initially thought.

There he was, sitting alone in Kuroo's car while he waited for the other to finish picking up their food from inside a restaurant, and he felt impossibly light. His feet wouldn't stop tapping against the floor of the car, the tension had completely left him, and he kept having to fight off a smile from blooming on his face. What was worse was the sheer giddiness he was feeling, and that coupled with everything else, had eventually led to this.

He was singing. Like, not just humming, full on disney princess singing. And he was actually enjoying it. Hadn't even considered stopping.

He knew he'd have to, once Kuroo came back, unless he wanted the other's ears to bleed, but still. For now he'd indulge in the rare therapeutic feeling the singing brought. Surely at some point, his thoughts would take over once more, reminding him how stupid and frivolous it all was, but not yet.

This was what it felt like, he'd almost forgotten. To sing because he wanted to, not because he had to.

The notes carried inside the small car, making use of the poor acoustics no less. The car became his amphitheater, the sounds bouncing off the sides. There was no pitchiness to be found, no cracks or breathlessness. It might as well have been a professional concert, cramped inside this space which reeked of air freshener and candy from the bowling alley.

He kept his volume reasonable though, part of his cautious personality still in control at least somewhat. A siren's voice was a powerful thing, definitely strong enough to travel outside the car if he so wished. On a normal day, when he was singing out of necessity, he could attract a handful of men, at most ten or so.

The way he was feeling now, he felt he could bring an army to their knees, and it scared him enough to dilute his notes until they gradually faded away into nothingness.

He did not need a repeat of what happened at the bowling alley on a larger scale.

His sense returned, and he cleared his throat, choosing to stare expressionless at the glove box. It was harder than it seemed. Everything inside of him was telling him to sing, to the point where restraining himself was looking to be too exhausting.

He'd never experienced it before. He briefly wondered if it's how Bokuto always felt, with his wide grins and lively demeanor. As kids, he would belt out lyrics shamelessly, uncaring of the attention it drew. Even now, he sang freely when he could. It happened mostly around Akaashi, when they were being particularly lovey dovey. It was as if Akaashi could sense it too, because he'd keep his noise canceling headphones nearby at all times, plopping them on when he felt the surge of affection ignite Bokuto's instincts.

Bokuto would sing and twirl Akaashi in his arms, and though the raven could hear none of it, he smiled in that way that made it seem like nothing was amiss in the world.

That's sort of how Tsukishima felt right then, and he didn't know what to make of it.

So instead, he pushed the feeling down to analyzed at a later time, preferably when he wasn't on this date. It didn't stop the notes from burning his throat, begging to be sang at the top of his lungs.

Luckily, Kuroo came into sight right then, holding two bags of what Tsukishima hoped was good food. He wasn't afraid to say he was starving, and he'd trusted Kuroo's tastes without much choice.

"Alright, we're all set, dig in!" Kuroo said as he stepped back into the car, and Tsukishima had no issue listening to him for once. It took a certain degree of willpower for him not to gulp down half the fries in his bag, but he somehow managed.

Hesitantly, he bit into his sandwich, noting Kuroo's intense gaze as he waited for Tsukishima's final opinion. Although, from the way he was smirking, he already knew. As Tsukishima savored the taste, his chewing slowing only for a moment before truly starting to devour the food, he knew he'd lost.

It pissed Tsukishima off, but yeah fine, the food was good. Really good.

"Told you so." Kuroo beamed, turning away too busy himself with satisfying his own hunger. Tsukishima grunted in displeasure, but couldn't exactly fight him on that.

The silence between them was more comfortable and less charged than the last time they'd sat in the car together, but it warmed Tsukishima to the core. It was an issue. He thought having Kuroo back would quell his urge to sing, but it felt like it'd only made things worse. The radio played as they ate, only adding to Tsukishima's struggle.

Every note called him, begged him to express the flurry of feelings in his heart.

Kuroo's presence beside him was more than welcome after the time they'd spent together, even Tsukishima could begrudgingly admit to that. The excitement and nerves from before had mellowed out into cozy familiarity, coupled with the desire to extend their time as much as possible.

A yearning.

A reluctance to leave, to turn back to how things used to be.

A pull which sent him straight to Kuroo, even as they were sitting side by side. It was terrifying. Like he was being led out to some vast sea of emotions without much choice, but rather than letting the fear take over, he kept wading deeper into the water, every step more blissful than the last. And whether or not he ended up cut apart by the rocks, he couldn't stop himself from moving.

Oh, so this is what it feels like.

Somehow the realization was more earth shattering than he would've liked. Because now he realized why siren songs didn't work on soulmates. It wasn't that the magic was ineffective or absent, it was simply reversed.

For Tsukishima, Kuroo was that deadly song, pulling him closer, except unlike a usual victim, Tsukishima was completely aware of it.

And he didn't care. He succumbed to it anyways, because despite all his skepticism and anxieties over the future of such a bond, it felt incredible.

It was foolish now, after such a realization, to continue seeing Kuroo, but Tsukishima knew he would. There was no guarantee they'd be together, or stay together, but oh well.

Tsukishima would just have to accept his fate in these matters.

Such was the way of sirens.

"You really wanna sing huh?" Kuroo's voice interrupted, and Tsukishima blanched, struggling for words. How had he known? Had he been privy to Tsukishima's situation all along?

The panic surged and died in him in an instant as Kuroo continued.

"Ah I mean, I'm sorry," he said, sounding genuinely guilty. "Every time a song plays on the radio you open your mouth like you wanna sing, and then you stop before you do. So I thought it was because of all that shit I said about your voice that first night..."

Immediately, Tsukishima began shaking his head, ready to refute any of Kuroo's worries. The last thing Kuroo needed to be was guilty for protecting his own ears. Hell, had Tsukishima been in his shoes, he would've been a lot ruder about telling him to shut up. Tsukishima knew how painful it must've been for Kuroo, hearing him sing. "No, that's not--"

"Because seriously, it was a dick move," Kuroo insisted, looking Tsukishima directly in the eyes, silencing him. Those golden irises were intense, apologetic, and final all at once, and Tsukishima couldn't help but be at their mercy. "I know how much you love music Tsukki, and I don't know! If you wanna sing, you should, I'm not gonna care. If it makes you happy, then that's enough for me, I just...I really don't want you to tiptoe around me because I said some insensitive shit."

"Kuroo--"

"I mean I sing fucking awful, but that doesn't stop me from belting My Heart Will Go On in the shower, so--"

"Kuroo, it's fine," Tsukishima said, his heartbeat going mad inside his chest. Had it been any other type of situation, he might've been concerned. But this, this was just Kuroo being stupid, something Tsukishima's heart thought was apparently fond of. Kuroo being stupid, and sweet, and way too considerate. "I know my singing sucks."

(To you.)

"No, it--"

"It does," Tsukishima said with a glare. Then his face softened into something more bored, and he hoped it worked. If Kuroo didn't believe his next words, he wouldn't know what else to do. He certainly wasn't going to start singing. The last thing he needed was Kuroo passing out from how painful it was.

Tsukishima shrugged, finishing up the last of his fries with feigned disinterest. "I don't like singing in front of people is all, doesn't matter who. It draws too much attention and I prefer being by myself when I do, otherwise it's uncomfortable. Plus, having people listen is annoying," he finished, his face scrunching up in distaste.

The thing was, it wasn't even a lie. It wasn't the real reason he'd been hiding his voice from Kuroo, but it was still true. Tsukishima detested singing for an audience, always had.

And the truth of the statement paid off, because Kuroo bought it.

"Oh, so it's not because of what I said? You're sure?" Kuroo asked, probably ready to apologize at a moment's notice, damn him. It made Tsukishima melt, and he bit his lip to hold in a smile.

God, he'd never hear the end of this once Bokuto found out. Aggravating.

"Yeah, I'm sure," he said, already feeling lighter himself as the tension flowed from Kuroo's shoulders.

Again, the raven could very well be the death of him in some way, but if he kept smiling like that at him, Tsukishima knew he was sure to drown.

[my-bobohu-blog]

so i was having a conversation with @chogisad​ about uhh ot9 emo-l times so i really wanted to make this post to just… jot down all my feelings about ot9 and exo and address all the negative energies regarding everything that’s been happening as of late? and i know that this really isn’t necessary in any way shape or form, but i really just wanted to do it for me. so i guess this is gonna be a really long post filled with a lot of hope and optimism and positivity for exo’s present and future as ot9 and if you’re interested in that, then by all means continue reading under the cut~

i remember back in 2015 when we experienced our first major Yixing Drought. his studio had just opened in china and he was being flooded with jobs and all the opportunities working in his homeland offered that korea could never give him. i remember being so endlessly proud of him but missing him a lot too. 

because here the rest of exo were in korea doing cf’s and other work and then they went on to do the japan tour without yixing :( and it hurt? because performing at the tokyo dome was such a big deal to them but there were only 8 members and it hurt so much not seeing yixing with them for like 1-2 months? or more? i don’t remember how long the drought lasted but it was our first real Yixing Drought in the fandom. 

and i remember seeing all these theories and conspiracy posts how sm was trying to push yixing out of exo and there was just so much ot8 propaganda- regardless if it came from hurting xingmi’s or actual ot8 stans… there was just so much negativity surrounding everything because yixing just… wasn’t there. and we as fans knew next to nothing and sm, as always, kept their official announcement last minute and vague as hell like when they announced yixing wouldn’t be participating in the japan tour bc of schedules AFTER selling tickets for the concerts DESPITE yixing being like the most popular member in japan. and it was fucking scary. 

hell, we just lost tao after cmb and here we are freshly ot9 and hoping and praying that the next comeback we wouldn’t lose another member. yixing as the last chinese member standing- the only true mark that sm had ever tried breaking into the chinese market with exo at all. and we were scared and terrified because what if sm was pushing him out? what if they were trying to faze him out of exo completely?

and i remember sing for you being ot9 but promoting as x8 members and i kept waiting for someone to mention yixing but they never did? and i was so frustrated bc all these other young groups can mention members who were missing because of injuries or schedules but why couldn’t exo??

doesn’t this all sound familiar? 

but sfy had that memorable showcase moment with yixing breaking and crying and telling us and his members how sorry he was but he reminded us that he was exo too. and bbh was there to reassure us that yixing may be busy overseas, but wherever he goes- yixing still wears the exo name proudly and does this entire fandom proud too. 

and i remember the days leading up to MAMAs in 2015 and we were all sitting there staring at our screens with baited breath waiting to find yixing airport pictures because there was no evidence he was going to hong kong for MAMAs yet and really? how the hell could exo go to this major awards ceremony without yixing? but we were so scared. but he pulled through and he showed up and he gave his finger wagging speech and we all cried and it was good and we were happy and things were okay.

and then things got better when ex’act dropped with The Peak ot9 moments of life and we had ot9 THRIVING! we had family pictures, xingdae came back from the dead, baekxing were inseparable, even chanxing were good and well and capturing hearts of fans. like it was just So Good!!! 

ex’act was really exo telling all of us to not worry. the members weren’t going anywhere. ot9 is here to stay as long as we would have them. and they loved us and they loved each other and everything would be okay. 

even though exo never mentions yixing when they win music shows like how other groups do, i think that’s just because those groups aren’t built the way exo were. i mean exo literally started as k and m and half their group was always away in china promoting because that was Their Job. and i think it’s just a different mentality you know? maybe exo always just knows that when they win, it’s for the whole group. that they don’t need to explicitly call out a missing member because We Are One or something lmao. and i remember during MAMAs 2013 when they won song of the year for growl… kyungsoo wasn’t there bc boy twisted his ankle to no end and had to go to the hospital. but i don’t think they mentioned him missing. and i think… that’s just how exo is. but idk. i think it’s something we’ll never know because we’re not in their minds. 

but we DO know that exo cherishes yixing so much. you can see it in their eyes whenever yixing does a speech in chinese and everyone is just so happy he’s there and they’re so proud of him. you can tell because they ALWAYS hand him the mic when he’s with them at music shows ALWAYS and they make sure he gets to say what he wants to say. and they cheer him on and they support his solo and they love him absolutely so so so much.

… and now here we are. 

and i know there are a lot of doubts and worries going into this repackage and everything. and i honestly don’t know how to start addressing things… but i really want to try. 

with kkb, we all knew it was heavily delayed. i think sm had full intentions of having an ot9 comeback with it being their 5th anniversary / 4th full album comeback. like… it was just common sense. but THAAD happened and political situations/international relations is just out of our/their control. china put a ban on skorea travel. there was a lot of negative energy surrounding it and yixing literally COULD NOT go to korea or even do anything related to exo (ex: the lotte world sponsorship and the amount of backlash that received because of china’s beef w/ lotte for giving up property for the missiles) 

anyways- what i’m trying to say is that sm tried. they delayed the comeback that was probably planned for early summer because they needed to see how this would all play out. they couldn’t do anything about it but wait. that was literally the only option. and yixing is in china with his own studio and he’s waiting too- but everyone has to keep proceeding with business as usual and that means yixing planning schedules that bleed into later months and that means sm going forth with x8 member comeback for kkb. 

and with how delayed kkb was and how sm needed to do exo’s repackage sooner rather than later (for the whole Drama of the Symbolism of the eclipse and shit) i think sm was really pressed for time and things were falling apart rather than together. yixing’s solo album was probably slated for late summer after the kkb comeback focusing his sales and promotions in china. then the repack would (my hope) be ot9 for september and all things would just happen as they should. but with the kkb delay, i think sm realized there wouldn’t be enough time for yixing’s solo. and maybe they thought it’d be best to push it to xingtober anyways. 

and god, im not saying sm makes good decisions because we all know that’s a crapshoot but what i’m saying is that maybe sm tried. there are a lot of things WE AS FANS DO NOT KNOW and just for my sanity, i want to give sm the benefit of the doubt this time. i honest to god think they tried the best they could with ot9 given all the shit that has happened this year. am i saying they did a good job? not really no. because im still stressed as hell and mad and dissatisfied with a lot of things… but i think they did try.

yixing has been seen traveling back and forth btwn china and korea a lot and we don’t know why. sm hasn’t released any official statement on yixing’s participation in the repackage… and i don’t know if that’s something that’s good or bad or if that should be expected or not?

but i honest to god do not believe in any of those posts saying that sm is trying to push yixing our or faze him out or anything. i just don’t. 

i trust yixing. just a few days ago he said he didn’t want to disappoint his group. HIS group. jongdae literally hung out with him and they had lunch together not too long ago either. like maybe a month ago? and it was so lowkey and so precious and so xingdae. and junmyeon said during their vlive that they’d be on stage with yixing soon. and i really truly believe them. because i think sm is trying too. i think all the boys are doing the best they can to handle whatever the hell the situation is. whether it’s political (THAAD) or schedules or other plans sm has… i think they’re trying. and i believe in them. 

and i know i probably sound recklessly optimistic and y’all can tell me that i’m boo boo the fool and that i’m gonna have all my hopes crushed and i’m gonna be disappointed… and maybe so. but i’m not strong enough to crush my own hopes when they already exist. and i have so much hope in exo, i don’t think i could ever willingly do that to myself and tell myself that this is gonna be worst case scenario. i need to believe in the best of our boys just for my sanity’s sake. and god… i really really hope and pray that this repackage is ot9 because i can’t imagine how i would feel if it wasn’t. AT LEAST ALLUDE TO OT9 YA KNOW??? THROW IN SOME LIKE NON SUBTLE HINTS LIKE STRAIGHT UP HAVE A SILHOUETTE OF YIXING SHOW AT THE END OF SMTH LIKE GUESS THAT POKEMON IDK??? JUST… i need to believe in something and i want to believe in ot9 and exo.

and maybe we get an ot9 repack or maybe we get an x8 comeback with a bomb ass yixing solo album soon and maybe we get ot9 back again someday soon and the fandom can breathe again.

sigh okay. i think i’ve said everything i’ve wanted to say. there are some other thoughts i have but i don’t want to mention them just because it’s not something i want to entertain until the mv drops and we know for sure what the deal is.

sigh okay. bye bye. too much writing.