#whisper and cry out and keen and wail

[drewswife]

summary — placing hickeys on his neck turned into something else (it was supposed to be this but i got carried away with it and i lazy so....)

pairings — sub!spencer x dom!reader

warnings — hickeysss, sub spence!!!😏😏, grinding, heavy petting, dry humping, whiny!spencer, smutttt, edging, spencer crying. no mommy!kink (sorry), not edited!

a/n — i wrote this high asf so uh.....enjoyyyyy <333

"P-please! n-need it!" Spencer cried out, tears streaming down his pink cheeks as he desperately thrusting against, chasing his release that you'd deprived him of at least 3 times now. You loved edging him, bringing him so close to Cumming before ripping it away from him. You loved the power you had over him, knowing that he'd do anything for a release.

your sat on top of him, he’s looking up at you with those big brown eyes. it’s almost pornographic the way he’s whining and moaning. he squirms underneath you as you rock against him.

A loud, broken groan pulls from spencer's throat and his eyes almost lose their focus as you grind down again, his tip pressing into the large wet patch forming on the fabric between your bodies. A small sense of victory rises in you as you watch him struggling to fight against the pleasure his body is feeling, a smirk rising on your lips.

. "You want to cum with me?" You coo, moving his hands that are grabbing at your hips above your hips, pinning them there. "...yyes— mh— god— wan' you, need you—" His words have you dripping, you're surprised you haven't left a wet spot on his pants.

"being such a good boy for me baby"

He lets out a high-pitched whine, looking up at me through his eyelashes.

"You like hearing that, don't you sweet boy?" i said reaching out to grab his chin, tilting it up so he had no choice but to meet my gaze. his eyes hazel was wide and glossy, tears already gathering at his waterline—threatening to spill over at any moment with every roll of your hips. "Love knowing how good you're doing hm?" I say teasing

he nodded frantically in my hold, his voice breaking slightly as he whispered. "i- yes—mmfh..love it."

You stopped gringing down on him abruptly, the loss-making Spencer choke out a sob. "N-no! p-please, please, I c-can't take it," he wailed

"Shhh, baby, shh, I've got you." You smoothed your hands up his thighs as you spoke softly, watching large tears spill from his eyes, streaking cheeks, and down his neck. "Please..." His voice was meek as he looked at you with wet puppy eyes, pleading with you to let him have his release. You could tell by his demeanor that he couldn't take any more of your torture and you weren't going to make him.

"Okay, okay, baby, you've been such a good boy for me; you deserve a reward." You gently kissed him, his hips immediately rutting up. "t-thank you! thank y-you!" He keened, letting out a sigh as he let his head drop back,

Spencer let out an especially loud moan at the feeling of you sucking on his neck, his hips spasming uncontrollably as more tears spilled from his eyes. "That's it, baby, come on, cum for me, pretty boy." You knew that he wouldn't cum unless you told him he could, so you made sure to let him know he could, feeling slightly bad for edging him so many times.

Seeing spencer's pleasure begins to overwhelm him, you bring your hand down to grip his jaw, holding his face towards you as his eyes start slowly fluttering and rolling back into his head. “Eyes on me, baby. Gotta look at me while you cum,” you moan out with one last motion of your hips on spencer's bulge before a loud, broken moan pulls from his mouth.

"Nnggghh—!" He whimpers, "I— hmmmf— cumming—!" Your hips meet his one last time before both of you go limp against each other. Your grip on his hands slowly loosening.

🏷,@sleepysongbirdsings @spencerreid66 @khxna @raysmayhem-72 @multiversefanfics @starrii-sturns

[pucksandpower]

Yours

Carlos Sainz x Reader

Summary: your boyfriend decides to remind you that you’re his and his alone … you’re certainly not about to complain

Warnings: 18+ content and possessiveness

“Excuse me, I need to borrow Y/N for a moment,” Carlos says abruptly, grabbing your arm and pulling you away from the mechanic you were speaking with.

You glance back apologetically as Carlos leads you swiftly down the hall towards his driver’s room. As soon as the door shuts behind you, his lips are on yours, kissing you hungrily as he backs you against the wall.

“Mine,” he growls against your mouth, nipping at your bottom lip.

You sigh into the kiss, your hands coming up to tangle in his soft waves. You love when he gets like this — possessive and needy. It makes you feel desired.

Cherished.

Loved.

“Yours,” you agree breathlessly when he finally releases your lips to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck.

His teeth graze your pulse point and you moan, tilting your head to give him better access. Your hands slip beneath his team shirt, fingers splaying across the smooth skin of his back.

“I saw the way he was looking at you,” Carlos murmurs against your throat. “No one gets to look at you like that except me.”

You smile, rubbing your hands up and down his back soothingly. “Baby, he was just talking about the new upgrades. You know you’re the only one for me.”

Carlos pulls back just enough to meet your gaze, his own dark and stormy. “Are you sure about that, cariño? Maybe I need to remind you who you belong to.”

Your breath hitches at the promise in his words, heat pooling low in your belly. You bite your lip and nod.

“Please,” you whisper.

A smirk tugs at his lips. Then his hands are on your waist, spinning you around and pressing you front-first against the wall. He nudges your legs apart with his knee, molding himself along your back. You can feel how hard he already is through his shorts.

“I’m going to ruin you for anyone else,” he rasps in your ear.

You whimper, need slick between your thighs. He grinds against you languidly, letting you feel every inch of him. His hands slip under your shirt, palming your breasts over your bra.

“These are mine,” he squeezes pointedly. “This-” his hand slides lower, dipping beneath the waistband of your jeans, “-is mine. All of you, mi amor, belongs to me.”

“Yes, yes Carlos, I’m yours,” you gasp as his fingers find your clit, rubbing tight circles that have you seeing stars.

He works you up until you’re teetering on the edge, keening and desperate, before withdrawing his hand and stepping back. You whine at the loss of contact but he just chuckles, low and dangerous.

In one smooth move he flips you around to face him again, then sinks to his knees before you. Deft fingers make quick work of the button and zipper of your jeans, yanking them and your underwear down just enough to expose you. He looks up at you from beneath those unfairly long lashes, eyes dark with desire.

“I want you dripping for me, cariño.”

Then his mouth descends on you with single-minded purpose, tongue lapping at your slit before focusing on your clit. Your head falls back against the wall with a groan, hands coming down to tangle in his hair, guiding him just so.

He works you expertly, licking and sucking until you’re crying out his name, right on the edge again. Just when you think you can’t take anymore, he slides two long fingers into your clenching heat, crooking them just right. You shatter with a wail, vision going white as your orgasm crashes over you.

Carlos works you through it, only stopping when you go limp and oversensitive. He stands and you cling to him on shaky legs, panting against his neck.

“That’s one,” he murmurs, nipping at your earlobe. “I’m not nearly done with you yet.”

Arousal sparks hot and urgent in your belly again at his words. He kisses you deeply, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. When he finally releases your mouth, you tangle your fingers in the front of his shirt.

“Too many clothes,” you complain breathlessly.

He grins. “Allow me.”

In one smooth move he grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it off over his head, exposing miles of smooth, toned tanned skin. You bite your lip, drinking in the sight hungrily as your hands come up to trace over the defined muscles of his chest and abs.

He lets you explore for a moment before catching your wrists and pinning them to the wall above your head. Holding them there with one hand, he uses the other to finally tug your shirt up and off, leaving you in just your bra above the waist.

You squirm against him, desire coiling hot and urgent inside you again already as he presses his hips against yours.

“Can you feel what you do to me, mi amor?” He asks roughly. “No one else makes me ache like this. Only you.”

“Carlos,” you whimper, straining against his grip. “Please, I need you.”

He smiles, slow and wicked, and reaches around to unclasp your bra with deft fingers. As soon as your breasts are freed he dips his head, taking one sensitive nipple into his hot mouth. You cry out as he lavishes attention on it with his tongue, then scrapes it lightly with his teeth. He gives the other equal treatment until you’re writhing against him, panting and pleading wordlessly.

Finally he takes mercy, releasing your wrists so he can lift you effortlessly. Your legs wrap around his waist automatically as he carries you across the room towards the small bed tucked into the corner.

He lays you down gently atop the plain white sheets, the cot barely big enough for the two of you. Not that you mind being pressed so close together. You reach for him eagerly but he catches your hands again and presses them into the pillow above your head.

“Keep them there,” he orders. “No touching until I say so.”

You pout but do as he says, fisting your hands in the pillow as you watch him shed the rest of his clothes with eager eyes. He’s tanned and toned all over, muscles shifting enticingly beneath his skin as he moves. Your mouth waters at the sight of him, hard and ready for you.

He climbs over you, caging you in, and bends to kiss you deeply once more. You strain up into it, wishing you could touch him but knowing obedience will be rewarded.

When he finally enters you in one long stroke you both groan, loud and unrestrained. He sets a pace that has you shaking apart again in minutes, writhing beneath him as he snaps his hips harder, hitting that sweet spot inside you relentlessly.

“That’s two,” he grits out when you finally go limp, overstimulated and trembling.

He flips you over effortlessly, pulling your hips up so you’re on your hands and knees before him. His fingers dig into the flesh of your hips as he drives into you from behind, even deeper at this angle. You clutch at the sheets, crying out shamelessly as he pounds into you. The new position puts your clit grinding against the blanket, ratcheting up the pleasure.

“You take me so well, cariño,” he praises through gritted teeth. “So perfect for me, only for me.”

You can only moan in response, lost in ecstasy as he takes you apart again. Your arms finally give out and you collapse forward, cheek pressed to the sheets. The change in angle has him nailing the exact spot where you need him with every thrust and you scream as you come undone around him once more.

He fucks you through it before flipping you onto your back again, barely giving you a moment to catch your breath before he’s sliding back into your oversensitive body. You whimper at the feeling, hovering right on that line between pleasure and pain.

“That’s three. Just one more, mi amor,” he murmurs, kissing you sweetly even as he rocks into you relentlessly. “You can give me one more, can’t you?”

You nod desperately, beyond words now. Your whole world narrows down to him — the smooth slide of his skin against yours, his panting breaths mingling with your own, the thick drag of him inside you hitting every nerve just right. Your nails dig into his back, clawing at him mindlessly as heat coils tighter and tighter within you.

“Come for me,” he growls. “Now.”

You shatter on command with a wail, vision whiting out as your climax crashes over you like a tsunami. You feel him follow you over the edge with a guttural groan, pulsing hot inside you as he finds his own release.

“And that,” he rasps against the column of your throat, “is four.”

For long moments you just cling to each other, breathing harshly as you come back down. He nuzzles into your neck, pressing feather-light kisses against your damp skin as your heart rates gradually return to normal.

“Mine,” he murmurs again, softer this time.

You smile, basking in the afterglow and his warm weight on top of you.

“Yours,” you agree, combing your fingers through his sweat-damp hair. “Always.”

He lifts his head to smile back down at you, eyes soft and sated. Leaning in, he kisses you sweetly, putting all his love and devotion into it. You sigh happily against his lips.

Eventually he pulls back again with a regretful little groan, slipping free of your body so he can gather you into his arms properly. You cuddle close against his chest, legs tangled together and his steady heartbeat beneath your ear.

“I’m sorry if I was too rough, mi amor,” he says after a moment, a tinge of uncertainty in his voice. “I just … I can’t stand the thought of anyone else touching you like that. Having you. You’re everything to me.”

You lean up on your elbow so you can meet his worried gaze. “Hey,” you say softly, cradling his face in your hand. “You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I wanted that just as much as you did. I love belonging to you, Carlos.”

He turns his head to press a kiss to your palm, eyes warm. “Te amo, cariño. More than anything.”

“I love you too,” you tell him sincerely. “You’re the only one for me. Don’t ever doubt that.”

He smiles then, bright and beautiful like the sun coming out. Rolling onto his back, he tugs you along so you’re sprawled atop him, head tucked under his chin. His arms come around you, holding you close as he presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“Mine,” he says again, but this time it’s a contented sigh rather than a growl. You snuggle even closer with a happy hum of agreement.

“Yours.”

[nerdygirlramblings]

a little bedtime angst

tw: fatal vehicular accident (off-page),hurt/comfort

The shrill cry startles you awake. You bolt upright from where you'd dozed off in the rocker. You squint, trying to get your eyes to adjust, as you swipe open your phone and see it's barely three in the morning.

You heave yourself off the chair and slowly approach the crib. Your nephew is wailing, fat tears rolling down his round cheeks. This has been a common occurrence, happening at least once a night. After the first night, you asked the pediatrician, who told you it's normal. But you know scientists don't understand the human brain, and you swear Charlie's having nightmares of the accident.

It's been like this for the last week, ever since you got the call that your only brother and his wife had been in a terrible accident of which your nephew was the only survivor.

When he found out he was going to be a dad, your brother and his wife sat you down and asked if you would be the kid's guardian if something ever happened. You said yes, because what kind of monster would say no, and because it was a one in a million chance it would ever matter.

Fate's sense of humor sucked.

The day you got the call, only Simon could comfort you. You knew he'd lost Tommy to much more gruesome circumstances, but the shared pain of losing your sibling cut deep. He's also been the one best with Charlie. You won't say it, but you think he's making up for the nephew he never had a chance to save.

The days after the incident are still foggy. You remember having to tell the boys about being Charlie's guardian.

"I know this is huge, but I never told you because I didn't think it would ever matter," you told them through hiccuping sobs. "I know this changes things, and if it's too much, I'll understand -"

"Oi! Ye were not just aboot to tell us to be done with ye," Johnny cut in sharply. "We love ye, and we know how much Alex meant ta ye. We were keen on 'im too."

John reached over and took your hand, "Of course we're with you, sweetheart. Charlie will always be Alex and Hope's boy, but he's ours now too."

That support gave you the strength you needed to get to work transforming one of the spare rooms in your cottage into a nursery. The boys spared no expense getting everything Charlie might need and increasing security on the house.

As you reach into the crib to pull Charlie out, settling him against your shoulder as you rock and sing him a lullaby, you feel the air shift behind you. Someone is always up with you when Charlie cries out; you aren't doing any of this on your own.

Slender arms corded with muscles wind their way around you, coming to rest below yours, supporting Charlie. Kyle slots himself against your back and sways as you do.

After a moment, you hear him start singing quietly, a pretty, sad tune you've never heard before. You don't want to break the spell and ask what it is, but he tells you. "'s something my ma used to sing." He says it quietly, but it still feels loud in the room.

"Thank you," you whisper, "all of you."

"Tch, nothin' to thank us for. We're in this with you."

And they were. Here with you and Charlie and whatever the future brings.

main masterlist

[raekensluver]

ᴅᴀʏ 𝟷𝟶 — ᴅᴀᴄʀʏᴘʜɪʟɪᴀ

october 19th | patrick zwieg x fem!reader

contains: nsfw 18+, no use of y/n, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, porn without plot.

word count: 1.1k

kinktober masterlist | main masterlist

"oh, baby, you're so sensitive," patrick murmured, his eyes dark with desire as he traced the path of your tears with his thumb. his hand was firm on the back of your neck, guiding you closer to him as your body quivered with every tender caress. the room was dimly lit, the curtains drawn to keep the prying eyes of the dorm hall at bay. the only sound was the rhythmic sigh of the ceiling fan, the perfect white noise to mask the soft noises that filled the space.

you were naked, sprawled on your back, the pillow beneath you wet with the salty trails of your sorrow. patrick hovered above, his body a masterpiece of masculine beauty. his broad chest was slick with sweat, and his cock, thick and pulsing, pointed straight at your quivering mouth. his eyes searched yours, seeking the delicious blend of fear and excitement that always accompanied your tears. "you're so beautiful when you cry," he whispered, his voice low and seductive.

his free hand roamed over your trembling form, pausing at your breasts to tweak the hardened nipples. you gasped, the sensation shooting straight to your core, making you wetter, making you want more. "please," you whimpered, not sure if you were asking for mercy or for him to never stop. he smirked, knowing full well the power he held over you in this moment. his thumb found your clit, circling it gently as his fingers slid inside you, filling you up in a way that made you feel both whole and utterly vulnerable.

your body responded in kind, your hips bucking against his hand as you squirmed and clawed at the bedsheets. the fabric was smooth against your skin, the perfect contrast to the roughness of his touch. your nails dug into the material, leaving little half-moons as you tried to find purchase, as if you could hold onto the pleasure and keep it from slipping away. your breath hitched as he picked up the pace, his eyes never leaving yours.

"fuck, patrick," you sobbed, your voice high-pitched and needy. "fuck me, please." your plea was raw, desperate. it was the sound of someone on the edge, yearning for release. and patrick, ever the sadist, knew just how to push you over that edge. his hand worked you mercilessly, his thumb pressing down on your clit in a way that made your eyes roll back in your head. you could feel yourself getting closer, your cries growing louder, your breath coming in ragged gasps.

then, without warning, he leaned forward, capturing your mouth in a searing kiss. his tongue delved into your mouth, tasting the salt of your tears. the sensation of his tongue sliding over your bottom lip made your heart race even faster, if that was possible. his kiss was demanding, almost bruising, his teeth scraping against your lower lip as he devoured your sobs. his hand didn't stop moving, his fingers pumping in and out of you with a steady rhythm that had your hips rising off the bed to meet him. the kiss grew wetter, more passionate, as your tears fell onto his chest. he broke away, his eyes gleaming as he licked the salty trails from your cheeks, savoring them like a fine wine.

you whined for him, your voice high and keening. your nails dug into his arms, leaving little trails of red in their wake. "please, more," you begged, the words tumbling from your mouth in a desperate rush. your breasts heaved with every shuddering breath, the pink tips of your nipples begging for attention. he chuckled darkly, the sound sending a thrill through your body. "more?" he asked, his thumb pressing down harder on your clit. you arched off the bed, a keening wail escaping your throat as the pleasure spiked. "yes, yes, please," you chanted, the words falling from your lips like a mantra.

his hand grew rougher, his fingers plunging into you with a force that bordered on pain. you could feel your body tightening, coiling like a spring. your tears fell in a steady stream now, tracing the contours of your flushed face. patrick leaned in, his breath hot on your skin as he whispered, "you love this, don't you?" his voice was a gentle caress, a stark contrast to the harshness of his touch. you nodded frantically, unable to form words as your body was pushed closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy. your whimpers grew louder, your sobs more pronounced.

"tell me, baby," he demanded, his voice a dark purr. "tell me how much you love it when i make you cry." you managed to force the words out, your voice cracking with passion. "i love it, patrick. i love it so much." the admission sent a thrill through him, his cock growing even harder. he knew he had you right where he wanted you, a willing participant in his twisted game of pleasure and pain.

his hand moved faster, his thumb working in tight, precise circles around your clit. your body tensed, muscles tightening around his fingers as you approached the climax he was crafting so carefully. every stroke was calculated, every touch designed to send you spiraling. your nails raked down his back, leaving a trail of red that mingled with the sweat that beaded there. his breathing grew heavier, his own arousal mounting as he watched your reactions, the way your body responded to his expert touch.

you could feel the pressure building inside of you, a storm of sensation that threatened to shatter you into a million pieces. your eyes squeezed shut, your head thrown back as your mouth opened in a silent scream. "please," you begged, the word lost in the symphony of your moans. "i need it, patrick. i need to come." your voice was a desperate plea, a whipped animal's cry for mercy.

his hand didn't relent, his movements only growing more intense as he watched your body's desperate dance. "you're so close," he murmured, his breath hot on your neck. "i can feel it, baby. come for me. let go." and with those words, you did. your orgasm crashed over you like a wave, stealing your breath and leaving you trembling in its wake. your body spasmed around his fingers, a tight, wet embrace that made him groan. your eyes snapped open to see his expression, a mix of triumph and hunger that sent a fresh jolt of arousal through you.

then, with a smug look, patrick wiped away your tears with his thumb. the gentle gesture was almost tender, a stark contrast to the harshness of his earlier touch. his eyes held yours as he did it, his expression unreadable. was it affection? pride? something darker? you couldn't tell. all you knew was that it made you want him even more. "good girl," he said, his voice a low rumble that seemed to vibrate through your very core. "so beautiful."

kintober taglist: @multi-fandom-imagine, @imamexican, @majaduzejaja, @moony-artemis, @emma-e-a, @agoodgirlsguidetomakingmencry @indigoangel77, @froyofreya, @weirdothatwritess @dale-kobbles-wife @mattheoriddles-slutt

[harpsinfinity]

The comfort you bring

Leon kennedy X afab!fem!reader

Genre: smut + fluff

WC: 0.9k

Listen to this while reading:

Can you tell this man has me in a chokehold

Tonight, it was all about you. It'd been a long, tiring day. luckily Leon was at your beck and call 24/7.

He laid you down on the soft sheets so gently, kissed your lips so sweetly as his deep voice whispered praise upon praise in your ears, making your face heat up and your heart throb with affection towards him.

He was determined to fix whatever damage had been done to you. It made his heart ache to see your tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes. He only wanted to see you cry from the pleasure he was giving you. Tonight, that was going to be made reality.

His love for you was so deep, he'd burn the world down if it meant he was able to have you right in his arms. He'd kill whoever he had to, just so he could get to you. He'd keep you protected, loved, and well fucked

Leon began to descend downwards from your lips, which he had kissed nearly to death, making sure every inch of you had been kissed and listening to each soft noise that tumbled from your lips.

Kissing at your collarbone and sliding his hands up and down your sides. Your fingers run though his locks, letting out a pleased sigh when he kisses along your chest. His warm thumbs tweaking your nipples as he pressed his lips to your breasts. You begin to squirm under his touch at the feeling, which was quickly soothed my his mouth.

"c'mon baby, how am I supposed to make you feel good with all your movin' around ?"

Leon had a joking tone in that soft voice. Your face burned red as you mumbled an apology.

He worked his way down your stomach, moving his hands to your hips in a gentle grip. You were unable to not thread your fingers through his soft, blonde locks as he teased your body.

Careful, slow pecks were pinned on your inner thighs, making you emit a low moan in response. You could feel the smile on his lips when he kissed right above your clit, making your hips buck in want.

"Leon please.."

you whine, trying to gently encourage his head to where you wanted him. You were so pent up and slick that you needed him, and you needed him badly.

"whatever you want, angel"

with a huff of amusement, he gives you what you've been yearning for so much. The second he's on your clit it has you moaning and pressing your head to the side against the pillows.

He moves himself further down, his tongue on your entrance with his nose nuzzled against your bundle of nerves. His hands come up and caress your torso before settling to grope and gently paw at your tits.

Your eyelids flutter and your lips stay parted with every sound that tumbles from your lips. Eventually, his hands return to your hips. Pulling your thighs apart more before fully burying his face into your pussy.

The keens that are wrenched from you are music to his ears, travelling it's way straight to the bulge in his pants. He groans at the taste of you, tongue deep and licking inside of you. With a squeal, your thighs push against the strong grip he had against them, surely leaving marks in the shape of his hands. your hips chase the intense bliss that bloomed inside of you so quickly

Your back arches, lifting off the sheets as you cry out his name. A warm coil tightening in your stomach more and more as he worked his mouth on your slick, swollen pussy.

His deep groans vibrated against you, shooting up your spine and making you wail.

"I'm gonna-!"

with rolled back eyes and a scream, you come undone and gush on both his face and the sheets. The pleasure hitting you like a ton of bricks as your body spasmed and shook with each wave you were riding you.

Leon's actions never ceased until you were completely spent and slumping against the bed. Only then did he rise to his knees and hover over you. Kissing you with a fiery passion, you moaned at tasting yourself on his lips.

you sat up, assuming he was done. Yet he pushed you back with a hand on the centre of your chest and said in a low, desire filled voice,

"not done, gotta make you feel better"

After hours, and your brains seeping out of your ears was when you were scooped into his arms and placed in a bath of warm, soapy water shortly after

The rest of the night was filled with hushed praises, kisses and blunt nails scratching at your scalp until you were fast asleep in his protective grasp in one of his shirts that were too big on you. (As you should)

[panties-on-boys]

kensy’s (smutty) synonym bible

tw: nsfw

hi there <3

i often find myself googling synonym for despite uhhh knowing words (i promise) so i decided to make a cheat sheet masterlist for my little goldfish brain. might as well post it

most commonly i google dialogue tags so let’s start with that

smutty dialogue tags

says hisses keens croons seethes sighs

gasps bites out grits out keys out spits

growls snarls cries spits drawls slurs

moans groans grunts huffs babbles

praises purrs soothes coos giggles lulls

thanks wails whimpers whines breathes

stammers stutters squeaks lilts whispers

teases mocks begs challenges pleads

snaps orders commands demands tells

descriptors for:

general touch

ghost (across/over/against) caress skirt

drag grab pull push clutch grip

hold knead tease roll (over) rock (against)

skim press nudge bump (together)

play with smooth (over) ride (over, down)

trace track graze thumb tease toy with

handjobs

the giver

squeeze pulse drag stroke slick wet

messy sloppy tight hot circle of (their) hand

glide strip (over) twist palm

the recipient

buck lift (their) hips roll rock thrust cant

fuck twitch tick jump (hips) kick hump

blowjobs

spit drool choke gag suck pull swallow

slurp heat of (their) mouth back of (their) throat

track (a vein, the underside of the dick, whatever)

drip lave lick tongue flick slack (jaw)

fuck facefuck throatfuck

prep (i write anal lol but do whatever)

slip slide press push wiggle (in) open up

work open ease open ease inside

about the fingers

crook scissor apart/together search (iykyk ;))

hook pump (in and out) thrust finger

seek roll press against angle curl

adding more

slides in a second finger/digit/next to the first

pulls (their) finger out and reenters, twice as thick

works/eases/opens up to two/three/etc

note: the prostate is a hook down in doggy style and a hook up in missionary, similarly to the g-spot (i google this shit all the time LOOOOL)

kissing

lips lock lips meet lips join press together

slick slide of hot wet needy open-mouthed

lips part pant/moan/dialogue into (their) mouth

swallows a moan from (their) partner’s kiss

bite/suck the lower lip lick suck taste pull

french licks the back of (their) partner’s teeth

licks/laps/laves into (their) partner’s mouth

x into their kiss (ex. whine, sigh whatever)

x a kiss to…/x kisses to…

press drop touch stamp pepper litter

smack place push pin tack feather

lay scatter sprinkle spot leave

teeth

grit clench grind tight teeth/fangs/canines

set (their) jaw

sharp

fangs canines pierce sink (bite) red with…

anteriors (front six teeth canine to canine, top and bottom)

dogtooth incisors upper/lower bloodied

six neat holes in a half-moon

general

ivories teeth bite dentition white straight

crooked braced aligned misaligned

the act of biting

sink teeth into clamp down on pierce drag

tear into nibble nip clip with (their) teeth

clip teeth together

breathing

breath hitch sigh huff breathe hiss puff

seethe exhale inhale pant gasp purr

pulls/takes/sucks in a breath breath steals out

punched-out fucked-out clipped (sigh)

desperation

needy keening crying begging pleading

aching throbbing pulsing hammering

dizzy (with want/need/blood loss (hi poolverine))

eager shameless pitiful pathetic hungry

dying to yearning for so bad/much lawless

colors

red

rouge crimson flush blush cherry cerise

ruby scarlet flame redden/get redder

rose wine angry ruddy full-blooded bloody

pink

flush blush tulip bloom rosy french pink

baby pink pastel pink florid peachy

blue

gunmetal steel blue cerulean mirror blue

ice cold pale sky indigo ocean

brown

tawny taupe amber auburn chocolate

tan leather

green

olive jade emerald forest grass

lashes

flutter flit bat puppy eyes skip

lashes flutter through a roll of (their) eyes

figures

smooth expanse of (back, stomach)

silky line of (back, whatever) arch bow

tense pull tight relax slack go limp

cords of (their) thighs burn (good for missionary)

tan dark contrast sleek curve

i’ll add to this :) bye tumblr

[subtlenighttribute]

Ours to Protect

Selkie AU | Love and Deepspace Boys x Reader

Boat accident | Panic | Seal rescue | Heavy emotions | Protective fluff | Reader almost drowns | No separation in stories: all in one

---

It was only supposed to be a quick trip.

Just out to the farther buoy to untangle a sensor line. The harbor guy had been too busy, and you were the only one free. A small rowboat, calm water, clear skies.

The seals didn’t like it. Not one bit.

Sylus barked once when he saw you with the oars, flippers slapping the water. Rafayel kept nosing the boat. Zayne surfaced behind them like a dark shadow, unmoving.

“I’ll be fine,” you promised, laughing. “I’m literally just checking a rope. I’ll be back in thirty minutes.”

Caleb gave a worried chirp.

Xavier sank beneath the waves without a sound.

---

The wind picked up.

Fast.

You were almost to the buoy when a low, choppy wave smacked the side of the boat.

Then another.

You turned the boat, but it was too late. The little vessel tipped—half-swamped—and you were in the water before you had time to shout.

Salt. Cold. A sharp crack to your arm as you hit the boat’s edge.

Then—

Silence.

---

They Felt It.

The moment you disappeared from view, the seals reacted.

Sylus dove hard, leaving a violent splash in his wake.

Zayne was right behind him, cutting through the water like a bullet.

Caleb screamed—an eerie, high-pitched cry—and flung himself off the rocks.

Rafayel’s flippers churned as he vanished beneath the surface.

Xavier, already underwater, twisted mid-swim and launched toward where the boat had been.

They couldn’t speak.

Couldn’t call your name.

But the air tasted wrong.

Your shape was gone.

And that was all it took.

---

You Didn’t Resurface.

Not until they found you, face down.

Floating like driftwood.

Rafayel reached you first.

He chirped, urgently, panicked, circling, nudging you upward. Caleb slammed into your side moments later, trying to tip you right—his squeaks sounding almost like sobs.

Sylus’s white shape darted around the group, pushing, lifting.

Xavier surfaced beside your head, silent, solid.

Zayne pushed from below, bracing your body against the current.

Together—no words, no coordination—they moved.

A tangle of seals, frantic and determined.

They brought you in.

---

You hit the sand with a soft thump.

Still.

Cold.

Your lips were blue.

They surrounded you, keening low and soft, nudging you, chirping, pressing their faces to your cheeks.

Caleb tried shaking you with his flippers. Rafayel wailed. Xavier stayed so still it looked like he’d stopped breathing himself.

Then—

You coughed.

Saltwater dribbled from your mouth. You groaned, barely moving.

Sylus let out a sound not like a seal. Something broken. Guttural.

He flopped closer and dropped his head against your chest like, “Mine. Still here. Don’t do that again.”

You reached a trembling hand to touch his fur.

“...hey...” you whispered.

Rafayel collapsed against your legs like a wet blanket.

Zayne nudged his nose under your hand.

Caleb curled beside your ribs like a shaking dog.

Xavier leaned close.

He pressed his forehead to yours—just once.

“You are ours.”

---

That Night

You didn’t go home.

You stayed curled up on the beach, surrounded by damp, sniffling seal-boys who refused to shift back to human.

Too scared.

Too shaken.

They piled around you—protective and silent. Zayne on guard. Caleb tucked into your side. Sylus half-on your chest again, like you’d float away if he didn’t hold you down.

You whispered into the thick, warm fur, “I’m okay. I’m really okay now.”

Five hearts pressed close.

You weren’t alone. You never would be again.

[sinsinsininning]

Can you write smoker x reader having a really rough s3x time? Pretty please?

Smoker x fem!Reader

Warnings: rough sex, porn no plot, established relationship, biting, cursing, degradation, spanking, smoking (duh), threats of violence, threats of burning, cream pies, unprotected sex, implied aftercare.

Notes: can be read as pre or post time skip. Also you don’t have to censor yourself lol this ain’t TikTok we can say fuck

“Stay still.” He growled, bringing his hand down on your ass twice before gripping your waist again.

You squealed, arching your back as you tried to push back on his cock. His spanking only riled you up more.

Smoker had you naked bent over his desk, papers strewn about as he thrusted into you. He kept a firm hand on the small of your back, pinning you easily. His uniform still on, an unlit cigar in his mouth.

“Please, please!” You whined, trying to make him move faster.

If anything it slows him down, you can hear his lighter working, he sucks in a breath. You rock against him, clenching around his cock as he smokes.

“You don’t behave and I’ll put this out on your ass.” He said lowly, you shiver as he tapped the end of his cigar on your shoulder. Clumps of ash dropped onto his desk.

“Please! Please just fuck meeee!” You cried, finally holding still.

Smoker doesn’t answer, but you can feel his hands tighten around your hips he finally starts to fuck you in earnest. Setting a brutal pace, his thrusts nearly shove you up the desk.

“Yes! Ah!” You moan, hands splayed out on his desk.

Smoker scoffs at you, a large hand wrapping around your knee and yanking it onto the table. The new angle makes your eyes roll back, drool bubbling out of your open mouth. He takes a deep puff before grabbing a handful of your hair and handful of your ass, his thrust speeding up.

You wail as he grips you roughly, yanking your head back so he could sneer at your face. The tears in your eyes make him look blurry and you whine again for him, clenching purposefully. It catches him off guard, choking back a noise his cigar almost drops from his mouth.

He growls and places his foot onto the desk to fuck you harder, the shiny boot further dirtying up his papers. You keen and babble praise for him, telling him how good he fucks you, how you love him, how you wanna stay like this always.

The hand on your ass releases for a moment, only to swat meanly at your thighs.

“Stop talking out ya pussy.” He scolds you, gritting his teeth as he tried not to cum too soon. You were doing your best to make him lose his mind.

With a shaky breath, you manage to bring your other knee onto the desk as well. Now with your legs in a wide W, you arch your back again, tits flush to desk. Fully exposing your pussy to his thrusts. Smoker nearly chokes again, putting his cigar out.

“Filthy fucking slut.” He growls, hand return to spank your ass and thighs harshly, even landing a few strikes to the soles of your feet. “Degrading yourself like this, marching into my office to beg me to fuck you.”

You nod, not an ounce of shame. “Please, Smoker! Fuck, ‘s good soooo good please!”

You don’t even know what you’re begging for, but he does.

It’s a little tricky to reach your clit, the way your body is pressed to the desk, but he finds it. Swirling his fingers firmly you shake in his arms. He presses his chest to your back more, whispering filth in your ear.

“Taking me like a fucking pro, how many vice admirals you let fuck you like this, huh?” He bites down on your shoulder. “Begging for my dick, you better take it. Better take everything I’ve got-Fuck!”

You clench again, involuntarily now, wailing as his cock strokes over your g spot. Your gummy walls tightening has him stroking your clit faster, desperate to feel you unravel before him. The dual stimulation makes your head spin.

“Too much! Fuck ‘s to-aaaaah too much!” You cry, trying to jerk your hips away from his touch on your clit.

He slaps the swollen bead lightly, but it may as well been with a belt the way you keen and thrash.

“You crying?” He growls, mouth right beside your ear. “You beg for my cock, then you wanna cry that it’s too much!”

He presses his hand between your shoulder blades again, keeping you still as he speeds up. He’s nearing his end and he knows you’re close too, just stubborn and sensitive.

“Cummi-ahhhhh I’m cumming!” You pant, body shuddering as a flash of white hot pleasure takes over you.

Smoker fucks you through your high, not letting up even as you cry genuine tears. He manages to pull a second climax out of you before finally cumming. You feel his warm cum flood into you just as you orgasm again he stills inside you savoring his climax. You whine, crying and humping your hips back to ride out your second orgasm.

Panting, Smoker reluctantly pulls from you, watching you shudder and leak out onto his desk. His thick cum dribbling onto his paper reports. He makes a mental note to fuck you on the ground next time or make you ride him in his chair.

You tremble as you slowly climb down, letting out a yelp as he yanks you into his arms. He sits down with you on his lap, gently stroking the red marks on your ass.

You groan and try to stand, wanting to go lay in your bed now but his hold tightens.

“Stay here for a sec, I’ll get you cleaned up I just gotta…” He trails off with a grumble, not wanting to admit his own legs were shaking.

You don’t tease him though, not yet, you’re still out of it. Voice hoarse, body sore, you relish the attention and his warm hands.

Smoker leans back in his chair, once he’s sure he can stand he’ll get you something to drink, maybe a snack and a shower. He won’t be able to nap with you, he has too much to do and he’s already let himself get sidetracked. Eventually he’ll join you in bed, after you’re asleep, maybe he’ll even convince you for another round.

[tteokdoroki]

hi my beloved angel could i pls request shinsou + ❛ you keep your hands where they are or i'll tie them up. ❜ :33

☆༉ — HITOSHI SHINSOU: 0-800-HOT GUY-HOTLINE.

line. ❛ you keep your hands where they are or i'll tie them up. ❜

extension. edging kink + fem!reader + nsfw.

things to note. for you my baby!! i hope u like heeem n that i characterised him well!!

it’s not your fault, really. 

usually you’re so obedient and good when it comes to hitoshi — he takes care of your needs as long as you behave and listen to him. with him, you cum as many times as you want, cry as loud as you want and your boyfriend will always make sure that you’re satisfied by the end. you’re spoiled in a sense. but today, shinsou seems keen on undoing that narrative. 

you’ve lost count of how many hours he’s been going at this, fucking just the tip of his girth into you at a painstakingly slow rate — you’ve tried everything, throwing it back on him, your usual whining, even grovelling, but the hero won’t budge. each time, he runs a hand down your spine affectionately and cherishes the way that your whole body shivers at the contact — only whispering a short.

“be patient, angel,” he says in that low, commanding voice of his. “don’t you wanna be good for me?” 

and of course you do, you love hitoshi so much and he treats you so well. it’d only be right for you to trust him, let him abuse your runny little hole with the the fat, achingly hot tip of his dick until he’s the one that’s satisfied. he pushes his hips forward, only just, breaching your gushing walls with hardly any resistance because you’re so wet from being teased but being spoiled all the time breeds bad habits and keeping you on the very edge of cumming like this. 

secretively, you slip one of your hands between your salt-slicked body and the bed sheets hitoshi has you bent over, brushing over your rock hard nipples and the sensitive spots along your pelvis before you’re able to reach your puffy pussy. it’s hard to keep quiet when you’re finally able to graze your the poor, unattended nub tucked between your slick folds — drawing lazy shapes over it just like hitoshi would do for you. you attempt to choke down a delicate whimper, stuffing your teary face into the cotton to muffle the louder sounds that start to escape you. 

“you sound so needy,” hitoshi breathes, placing a large hand on the small of your back to deepen your arch from behind. he rewards you, for sounding so pretty, he really can’t help it either — giving into his habit as he fucks you halfway down to his twitching length, his arousal bleeding rip nestled just inches shy from your gummy g-spot. “being so good ‘n patient, angel. love it when you’re like this. all pliant and desperate for some cock.” 

you wail in reply, writhing and wriggling for more — only to be forced into pleasuring yourself, pinching and rubbing at your clit in tune with shinsou’s shallow thrusts past your rippling entrance. he soothes you, rubbing circles into your hip dips as he whispers little praises like “just a little longer. “you’re doing so well for me sweetheart.” “i can’t wait until i get to fill you up.” 

that is until he feels your sly little hand brush against this muscular inner thigh, while you attempt to get yourself off. one moment, you’re on the verge of finally hitting release, the next, all of that mounting and heavenly pleasure is ripped away from you by hitoshi’s discovery.

“toshi!” you snivel desperately, trying to appeal to his gentler side when he pulls out of you completely — exposing your hot cunt to cool air as you pulse around nothing. “p-please, please ‘m sorry!” 

he sucks his teeth, three fingers coming down harsh on your sopping mound which causes you to jolt forward on the bed in suprise. “oh, I don’t think you are.”  he seethes cruelly, throwing his weight over your trembling body while he licks a wet trail up and behind your ear. “if you were, you wouldn’t be trying to fuck yourself while i’m spoiling you with my cock.” 

okay, so maybe it is your fault. 

shaking your head, you try to wriggle away — your hips running from the sudden and relentless pressure shinsou applies to your greedy clit from behind. “i p-promise! i am, ‘m so sorry. hnngh, ‘toshi ‘m gonna cum! t-too fast!” 

“don’t care.” the purple haired hero grunts, only speeding up. “you wanted to cum so bad? instead of being a good girl and waiting for me?” nipping at your earlobe, shinsou chuckles coyly and smacks a hand down on your pussy again. “now you’re complaining about it being too fast? well too fucking bad. you get what you give, angel.” 

shinsou’s threat should scare you, but it only serves to turn you on even more — clear streams of your arousal painting his thick fingers against your heat like a sugar glaze. 

“d-do it, i dare you.” you manage to bleat out, challenging him. 

the laugh your boyfriend lets out is both cold and amused, overlapped by the squelch of your princess cunt as he replaces what used to be his heavy cock with his fingers inside of you. curling them straight away. 

“challenge accepted, sweetheart.” shinsou grins, pumping in and out of you so fast you hardly realise that you’ve hit your first orgasm until it’s too late — squirting about the place and soaking the sheets. “but this time, you keep your hands where they are or i'll tie them up.”

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[eunsuri]

Eternity

Pairing: Solas x Lavellan

Summary: In the final battle with the false gods, Solas must make an impossible choice.

Word Count: 2,443

Warnings: ANGST. Followed by some real sweetness to heal our Solavellan pain.

A/N: Hey everyone! It's been a hot minute since I've posted or even done any writing, but all the Veilguard hype and replaying the Dragon Age games has inspired my poor Solavellan heart. Hope you enjoy it and let me know your thoughts! Also posted on AO3!

“Solas!”

It had all happened so quickly.

The world seemed like a fractured dream—shadows and light bleeding together, the edges of reality blurring into something unrecognisable. Hues of blue, purple, and red painted the sky. The sounds of battle—screams, the clash of steel, the roar of ancient magic and blighted gods—melted into a single, indistinct hum, as if the world itself had begun to unravel.

Solas’ Dread Wolf form was quickly fading, returning to his battered Elven body. Pain throbbed in his every limb, a dull, relentless ache that clouded his thoughts and blurred his senses. 

He tried to focus, to grasp onto something solid, but the ground beneath his feet slipped like sand, shifting and unstable. It was Lavellan’s voice, raw with emotion, that anchored him, drawing him back from the brink of unconsciousness. His racing heart thudded in his ears, eyes searching for the source of Lavellan’s cry, as fear gripped his very being at the thought of her laying broken and defenceless in the chaos. 

Thunder continued to roll while lightning cracked through angry clouds over the twisted form of the ancient elven goddess, Ghilan'nain. The Mother of the Halla, and huntress of the People, was now a twisted abomination of decay and rage. Her shriek tore through the Veilguard ranks, a cry born of millennia of rage and betrayal, a keening wail that echoed with the fury of a goddess locked away for centuries. 

Then, through a fog of pain and confusion, Solas saw Ghilan'nain’s blazing red eyes seeking out the Dread Wolf, her corrupted form rising above the fray and ready to strike. Before he could even register the danger, before he could summon the strength to call out to Lavellan, a flash of blue crystals sped into his vision. 

It was Lavellan. The lyrium dagger clutched in her hand, armour shattered and boots worn out, the scent of muddied blood from her injured leg mingling with the air, her breath coming in ragged gasps. Yet, despite the pain and exhaustion etched into her every movement, her eyes burned with an unyielding fire, a fierce resolve to protect the one she loved.

Without a second thought, she leapt forward, her body moving of its own accord, driven by a love that eclipsed all fear. The impact was immediate, the force of the blow reverberating through her as she intercepted the strike meant for Solas, driving the lyrium dagger through Ghilan'nain’s heart. Pain lanced through Lavellan, white-hot and unforgiving, unlike anything she had ever felt before.

“No!” Anguish tore through Solas, his cry shattered the battlefield, raw and filled with terror at the sight of her figure flying across the battlefield.

He didn’t know how he had managed to gather the strength to stand once more, but in an instant, he was at her side. The battle faded into a ghostly echo as his world narrowed to the broken form in his arms. The ground beneath them was cold and unyielding, but it was the chill in her fading pulse that froze his racing heart. Her breath, once steady and strong, came now in ragged, shallow gasps, a desperate struggle against the darkness closing in.

“Vhenan…” Her voice came as a laboured, broken whisper. 

The scent of iron and death hung heavy in the air, the distant screams of the battle barely registering in Solas' mind as he frantically hovered his hands over her wounds, his bloodied fingers trembling with the urgency of his magic. But the damage was too great, the energy she had taken was meant to kill, to obliterate. Hot crimson blood seeped through the cracks in her armour, staining the cold stone beneath her. The warmth of it clung to Solas' skin, a stark contrast to the creeping numbness that threatened to consume him whole.

He found himself unable to muster a single word in response to her, the weight of his despair crushing him. He could feel the ancient magic flowing within his veins, yet every spell he cast faltered against the reality of her mortality. Each pulse of energy he sent into her only slipped through his grasp, her life ebbing away like water through his fingers, her fading breath a cruel reminder of his powerlessness.

For the first time in millenia, Solas felt truly, utterly powerless. The gravity of his failure thrust down on him, sharper than any blade, heavier than the mountains he had once shaped. He had experienced many failures, disrupted rituals, and power drunk magisters. Yet the pride and determination that would fuel him through these failures could not fill the gaping void that failing his love would leave inside him.

Since the Veil’s creation and his awakening from Uthenera, Solas had borne witness to countless lives slipping away, each loss a distant echo in the vast expanse of time. He had watched countless lives flicker and fade, each loss stoking the embers of his desperation to restore his People’s immortality. But this—this was different. 

He had convinced himself that the price he would pay was justified, a necessary sacrifice for the future he sought to reclaim. This world and its people, fleeting and fragile, would have to perish in order to restore his own, to undo the grievous mistake he had made. He had always known that losing this world would mean losing her, that her mortality was inescapable—especially with the Anchor’s relentless power surging through her veins, marking her as temporary. He had hoped that by severing their bond and leaving the Inquisition, he could sever his attachment to her as well. Yet, even as he watched over her each night in the Fade, anticipating the loss of his love, nothing could have truly prepared him for the agony of this moment.

The pain that seared through him now was unlike any he had ever known, sharp and relentless, cutting deeper than all the centuries of loss combined. He had thought himself prepared, had steeled his heart against the inevitability of her mortality, but as he looked at Lavellan, broken and bleeding before him, he realised with a shattering clarity that he could not—would not—live in a world without her. The thought of truly losing her was a wound that would never heal, a chasm of despair that would swallow him whole for eternity.

Memories, vivid and bittersweet, flooded Solas’ mind. He remembered the first time he had seen her, the feeling of her marked hand clutched in his as he guided her to close the gaping rift. He recalled the stolen moments of quiet between battles, where they had shared dreams of a life beyond the chaos once the battle with Corypheus would end, her laughter a balm to his soul. The nights she would seek him out in dreams, or sneak into his tent, where she would lay against his chest while he read books or told stories of his dreams in the Fade. The feeling of her bare skin beneath his fingertips, the softness of her lips against his, lingering like the delicate petals of a blooming flower. Their magic intertwining, flowing through them like a gentle current, binding them together in a harmony that felt as eternal as the stars.

Moments in which the crushing realisation dawned on him—that she could sway his mind to find another way, that the world he sought to restore could be returned without the destruction he once deemed necessary, that everything and everyone he had fought so hard alongside could be real, not just a dream of the past.

But now, those memories twisted like a knife in his heart, the sweetness of each moment laced with the bitter sting of loss. Without her, those moments would remain nothing but a memory that would haunt him for eternity.

“Please,” he whispered, though he wasn’t sure to whom he was begging, his voice a plea to the empty skies. 

The thought of truly losing her now was unbearable, a pain he could scarcely endure. For him, she had endured unimaginable suffering—the searing torment of the mark that claimed her arm, the heartbreak when he severed their bond, and the endless nights spent in relentless pursuit of him, only to stand between him and the final, fatal blow. He could not let her die, not after all she had sacrificed for him.

Solas wracked his brain for solutions, continuing to frantically attempt to heal her and keep her conscious. His vision was blurred with the rivers of tears streaming down his skin, the fierce hand of desperation gripping itself around his throat. She was fading, her weakened life force flickering like a waning candle, its flame struggling to cling to the charred wick, desperately resisting the darkness closing in.

Then, in the depths of his despair, a single option took root—a desperate, impossible choice. There was one thing he could do, one last act that could save her. But it would cost him everything. His heart thudded against his chest heavily with the weight of the decision, the ancient power within him pulsing like a living thing, reminding him of all that he was about to lose. Immortality. His essence. The very fabric of his being.

But what was immortality without her? What was all of his power worth if it could not protect the one person who had come to mean more to him than anything in this world or the next?

His resolve solidified, born of a love so deep it defied all reason. He could not imagine a world without her—without her laughter, her touch, the warmth of her presence beside him. His pride and desire to mend his past errors would not stand in his way again. And so, with a heart full of love and a mind clear of doubt, he cast his pride into the depths of the abyss, where it would be lost to the shadows of his past, and embraced the decision he would have to make.

Solas placed his hand, now strong and steady, over her heart. His eyes glowed with an ethereal blue light that seemed to pierce the very fabric of reality, a stormy flash of magic emitting from his palms. 

He could feel it—the life force that had sustained him for centuries, ancient and vast, now flowing out of his being and into her. It was like tearing a piece of his soul away, a pain so profound it threatened to break him, but he did not falter. He would give her everything if it meant she would live. 

As the celestial light enveloped her, knitting her wounds and restoring her strength, Solas felt his own power wane. His once-immortal form grew weaker, the essence that had defined  him slipping away. But with it, the burden of centuries lifted, replaced by a calm acceptance. He had chosen this—chosen her—and in that choice, he found peace.

Lavellan gasped as warmth surged through her, revitalising her strength, but with it came the unsettling realisation of what he was doing. “Solas, stop,” she protested, her voice growing stronger even as his weakened. She attempted to push him away, her hand trembling against his chest, but he drew her closer, gently lowering his forehead to hers, the gesture silencing her pleas.

“I will not lose you, Vhenan,” he breathed, his voice heavy with resolve as his ancient power flowed into her, binding them both to a mortal life.

Though Solas would remain formidable, he willingly embraced the fragility of mortality, finding solace in the certainty that they would face the years together, no matter how fleeting they may seem. 

The engulfing light dimmed, leaving them in a hushed silence. With a newfound strength, Lavellan lifted herself upright, pausing to drink in the sight of the Dread Wolf, now a mortal man. His eyes, no longer glowing with ancient power, were filled with a quiet love and deep relief, the tension that had once gripped him now replaced by a serene acceptance of his mortality. She could see the peace in his expression, the contentment that came with knowing he had chosen this—chosen her—and this world. 

A wave of relief washed over her being, drawing her worries back into its current, and allowing the peace she had sought for a decade to finally grace her. Though it pained her to see him sacrifice such an intrinsic part of who he was, she felt a deep sense of gratitude knowing she had changed his heart away from the destruction of this world.

Solas reached forward, delicately brushing his fingers over her mended cheek. Her eyes glistened with life and unshed tears welled along her eyelashes, captivating him as they always had. She released a breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding in, and lunged herself into his embrace. 

Her arm twined around his neck, clutching the fabric on his back as a quiet sob shuddered through her lungs. “Ma serannas, Ma’lath. Thank you. Thank you,” she whispered between breaths, tears trickling down his throat and soaking through his clothing.

He held her tightly against him, as though she might vanish if he loosened his grasp. The warmth of her presence, so long absent, was a salve to his aching soul. For a decade, he had watched her from afar, his dreams haunted by the memory of her touch. Now, finally enfolded in her embrace, he marvelled at the tangible reality of what he had yearned for so deeply. Each trembling breath she took, each tear that fell, was a testament to the long-suffered separation and the profound relief of being truly reunited.

“I’ve lived through many lifetimes, yet without you, it is all empty, lost,” Solas confessed, his voice a low murmur against her hair. “Now, I see a new path forward.”

She pulled back just enough to meet his gaze, her hand gently tracing up to his face. Her voice was soft, yet firm with conviction, as though speaking the very truth of her soul. “And we will face it together,” she vowed, wiping her thumb across his cheek as her teary eyes searched his. “Var lath vir suledin.” The words trembled on her lips—ancient, yet timeless.

“Yes, Vhenan.” This time, he believed her. “Our love will endure. Always.”

Though the blighted false gods had been freed from their eternal prison, and the battle was now won, the task of rebuilding the world lay ahead. Together, they would forge a new path to save their people—one devoid of further death and destruction.

For now, they were alive, together, but irrevocably changed—two souls who had sacrificed everything for each other. 

Their love had endured, and would continue to endure for centuries to come.

[thehypnone]

could we maybe get subby whiny mounty? i’ll leave it up to you who would be the dom🤭

i had to make it swissalps... i am who i am and they're like disgustingly in love ya know

650 words, transmasc mountain in heat, breeding

Swiss wasn’t surprised when he was woken up by his mate whining, pawing at him greedily and humping his thigh sloppily. He could smell it on him for the last three days and he would not lie and say he wasn’t delighted about the fact that Mountain’s heat finally hit him. They were on their first round of many that day and the earth ghoul was just precious.

“So good for me, my love,” Swiss whispered into his ear, nipping at the lobe gently. “Taking me so well.”

The earth ghoul whined loudly, clenching around Swiss’ cock like a vice and digging his claws into his back. He grunted at the tight fit of his mate’s cunt and rolled his hips again, pulling another high pitched noise out of him. “Please, please, my darling, I n– need you.”

“You’ve got me,” the multi ghoul chuckled. Oh, how he loved when Mountain got like this. All whiny and fuzzy headed, crying for Swiss’ touch. It was fun torturing him like that—sometimes—but Swiss enjoyed making love to him in such a state even more. “Always. You’ve got me, baby, I’m all yours.”

“N– need more,” Mountain whimpered. He wiggled and squeezed his legs around Swiss’ waist, trying to get him impossibly deeper. As if he wasn't balls deep inside him already. 

“Oh, I know, I know,” the other cooed before snapping his hips, making Mountain cry out as his mouth hung open. “You need all of me, yeah, love?”

“Yeah, fuck, please.” The earth ghoul tightened his legs and arms where they were absolutely wrapped around Swiss, clinging onto him for dear life. “Fill me up, gimme all of it.”

Another sharper thrust and it was Swiss’ turn to let out a debauched noise. “I will, my love. I will.”

Mountain cried out again and Swiss pulled one hand away from him, only to drag it down to the place they were joined. It was so fucking wet. The multi ghoul said as much. “Like a damn water ghoul. Fuck, that’s so hot, baby, perfect for me.”

“D– darling, please,” Mountain begged. Babbled would be a better word. Drooling out strings of incoherent pleas as Swiss pistoned in and out of his dripping cunt.

“Right there, my love,” he grunted and dragged his fingers through some of the slick drooling out of his mate. He pressed against his little cock, jutting out hard and flushed, and Mountain wailed. “There we go.”

“F– fuck, I n– need it.”

“Right there,” Swiss repeated and he meant it, feeling his first orgasm of the night approaching rapidly. It was time for him to absolutely lose his mind, too. “I’ll fill you up so good, I promise, again and again. I’ll get you stuck on my knot and wait ‘til you catch. Fuck, I wanna see your cute little belly swell with my kits, yeah?”

Mountain moaned and whimpered, his claws finally piercing the skin on Swiss’ back, as the multi ghoul thrusted sharply a few more times, simultaneously rubbing his mate’s clit. “My heart, please, shit, fill me up, I need it, I need it, I–”

“Come with me, my love,” Swiss groaned breathlessly and shoved himself into Mountain’s cunt as deep as he’d go, spilling inside with a shudder. The earth ghoul keened, all wrecked, and clenched around the other tightly, his own white hot orgasm washing over him.

He must’ve blacked out for a second. Suddenly Swiss was sprawled out on top of him, purring happily with his face in Mountain’s neck as he muttered softly, “So good, my love. My good boy. My perfect mate, so, so good for me.”

This was only the beginning of the earth ghoul’s heat, the painful need would hit him again soon, but for now he didn’t mind listening to the quiet praises spilling from his mate’s lips.

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Living Weapon Whumpee part 7

Warnings: touch starvation, forced living weapon/fighter, torture, knife whump, captive living weapon

AHHHHH this is literally so many posts in one day! 😱😱 but everyone keeps wanting more and I'd feel bad if I left you all on a cliffhanger!!

And what was a little more pain, after everything he'd been through as Weapon? He could surely handle it… right…?

Whumpee clenched his jaw hard as Flint pressed the tip of the serrated blade into his side, piercing through the bandage located right below his ribs. The general paused there for a moment, eyebrow raised meaningfully, giving Whumpee a chance to cave. But he pushed it further into his flesh when Whumpee chose silence, earning a sharp inhale from the restrained weapon.

The sharp metal dug deep into Whumpee's bullet wound, and at first he managed to breathe through the pain, taking it with composure, but when Flint took it out and moved to another spot, he couldn't help a low groan. The dagger hurt even more coming out than going in, the serrations easily sliding through his flesh.

A few more cuts and Whumpee started to writhe, keening whines escaping him as the pain intensified.

Every few injuries Flint would repeat his question, each time being met with resistance from Whumpee.

It must have gone on for at least half an hour before Whumpee finally began screaming. Still not talking, just screaming and wailing every time he was cut open again. He didn't beg, didn't plead, knowing it was futile. All he could do was cry out as he was tortured.

Four hours in, and Whumpee truly wished he would die. His whole body was a vessel of blazing agony, blood sliding down his skin in scarlet rivulets to pool at his feet, hitching breaths making his chest heave.

And the fifth hour he crumpled, his legs unable to support him anymore against the excruciating pain setting every nerve on fire. Only the cuffs on his wrists kept him up. And finally, Whumpee broke, gave Flint the location of Leader's base. He just wanted the pain to stop.

"Thank you," Flint acknowledged simply, wiping Whumpee's blood off his hands with a small towel he'd brought. "And what are your Leader's plans for his next attack?"

Whumpee couldn't help a choked sob at that, trembling violently all over. Of course there would be more questions. He should have seen it coming. But unlike before, there was no fight left in Whumpee, no fear of Leader that would keep him from spilling all the secrets just for a single moment of rest. He was too desperate, such a spectacularly human emotion coming from the living weapon.

Flint wrote down notes on everything on a small pad of paper, recording each and every one of Whumpee's answers as the weapon hung shivering in the chains.

Whumpee thought he would never stop being peppered by questions, but finally, they stopped coming, and he almost cried in sheer relief.

"Much obliged, Weapon," Flint said once he was finished. "I'll send the medics in to patch you up shortly. I'm going to have to put the muzzle back on though for their safety and comfort." He scooped up the muzzle from the floor, cautiously approaching the bleeding Whumpee, whose eyes flicked up, full of unbridled terror.

"No... No more pain?" Whumpee rasped in confusion, voice ruined from screaming.

Flint frowned. "I got what I wanted. What reason would I have to keep hurting you? It would be pointless."

The general was even more of an enigma now. Whumpee couldn't figure him out. Leader would have beaten him to within an inch of death before stopping, no matter how much Whumpee surrendered and complied. But Flint wasn't like Leader, apparently. He only used the amount of force necessary to achieve his goals, nothing more. He didn't inflict pain for the joy of it.

"Wait," Whumpee whispered, and Flint paused with the muzzle in hand, raising an eyebrow. “Is… she okay? The girl?” he swallowed dryly.

“My daughter? Yes, she's fine. A bit shaken up after you attacked me, but physically okay.”

Whumpee nodded gratefully, but flinched when Flint brought the leather up to his face. He didn't fight or struggle as the muzzle was fitted snugly and tightened around his head, leaving him voiceless once more.

"You are a prisoner here, Weapon, but I do not intend to harm you any more than necessary, if it's any reassurance," Flint said as he stepped away. "As long as you comply, there is no need for you to suffer."

The relief crashed over Whumpee in a tidal wave. No one had ever told him they weren't going to hurt him before. In fact, most people enjoyed it. He clung fiercely to the general's words, desperately wanting to believe them.

Flint turned and walked out of the room, leaving Whumpee alone in silence. When the door opened again, two young women in full medical clothes came in, each carrying medical bags. Whumpee wasn't sure if Flint would actually send the medics he'd promised, so he was mildly surprised to see them.

The women approached slowly and cautiously, eyeing the injured weapon nervously as they dug into their bags and brought out various medical supplies. And Whumpee couldn't blame them for that fear, after everything he'd done. He was a monster capable of so much destruction.

One woman removed the old dressings covering his various bullet wounds that were now soaked with blood from the fresh gashes Flint himself had opened. It made Whumpee shudder as the material peeled away from his sticky skin. But what came after was far worse, as an antiseptic mixture was poured into each wound to sterilize it and prevent infection.

There was no way Whumpee could possibly stay composed through the burning agony that worked its way deep into each raw injury after that, and he threw his head back and screamed into the muzzle, the sound heavily muffled.

Another ragged wail tore loose from him as the second woman got to work stitching up the wounds the first girl had cleaned and sterilized, working with needle and thread in careful, precise movements. Whumpee wasn't given any painkillers, and it was a whole new form of torture to endure this.

Whumpee was breathing hard through his nose when the Medics were finally finished, sweaty and trembling as he watched the woman wordlessly pack up their supplies and leave. They switched off the light, plunging the whole room into total darkness. Whumpee guessed it must be nighttime.

He tried so hard to rest, but it was practically impossible in the stress position the chains and cuffs kept him in. They pulled on his arms and shoulders, making them ache and cramp.

⏪️ Back Next ⏩️

Masterlist

@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump

@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @i-don't-know-sal @togzy

@whump-till-ya-jump @cravesunconditionallove @whumpwritinglover222

@silly-scroimblo-skrunkl

[macabr3-barbi3]

Hello sweet summer child v( ͡° ᴥ ͡°)*

I love your work! I've come to yur account from a post I saw about Hazbin Hotel writers, and I love the dream story so much and powered through your archive of our own account in two days!!

If it's not too much to ask: Would you write a story with a reader and alastor, having anal sex? ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ) I just never see that in alastor fanfics, and I am so curious to see something written well and in character for him~ you seem perfect for the task!

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for keep me from sleeping and tell you that I really enjoy the things you write!

I'M SO SLOW I'M SO SORRY

this anon has been patiently waiting pretty much since I opened my requests 😭 I hope this smutty lil piece was worth the wait! I'm so glad you enjoy my writing and I hope I can keep turning out lovely little bits to keep you awake xD

CW: anal sex, that's pretty much the whole thing lmao

Alastor was not normally one to try new things. You knew this- and it made you appreciate the things that he did try with you even more.

You were on your hands and knees before him, face shoved deep into one of the soft pillows of his bed while he worked a toy in and out of your ass, the rim of it stretched and pleasantly sore from how long he had been at it, gradually sizing up from his fingers to something wider that would actually get you ready. Alastor kept the lube flowing generously, so much that the slide of the toy was near frictionless, pressing in deep before slowly pulling back out. His breathing is steady and even as he prepares you to take his cock, the thumb of his other hand lazily caressing your clit and making you clench around nothing.

“A-Alastor, please,” you beg, words muffled in the pillow. “I’m ready, please…”

“Ready for what, dearest?” He asks lowly, and lets a finger slide into your cunt, pressing insistently at that sweet, spongy spot inside of you that made you keen and cry out. “How am I meant to assist if you won’t tell me what you want?”

“Fuck me,” you moan, head turned to the side to make sure that he could hear you. “I can take it, please,” and you press your luck by pushing your hips back towards him just to really sell the message.

He hums in his throat, both the toy and finger inside of you sliding free as he repositions out of your line of sight, rewarded at last with the feeling of his erection pressed against your twitching hole, hot and hard and wet at the tip. “I wasn’t sure that I would enjoy this,” he says, “with such an act being so… taboo in my time.” He starts to press forward, and it burns deliciously, a sweet stretch that makes your limbs tingle and a line of drool drip from your mouth.

“Oh fuck,” you moan, your words wet as you sob them into the pillow. “Thank you, God, thanks for in- indulging me,” you manage, the feeling of his cock splitting you open enough to make your brain fuzzy at the sensation.

A finger comes back to your clit as he laughs darkly, hunching over so that his mouth is near enough to your skin to brush tantalizingly across it. “No, thank you, dear,” he whispers, his balls gently bumping your pussy when he finally bottoms out, your wail lost in the fabric of the sheets. “I might never have known- how much tighter this lovely body of yours could be. You’re clenching down on me so sweetly, my love.”

There’s a mental aspect to it, you’re sure; to the rapidly approaching bliss of orgasm that you can already feel buzzing in your bones as Alastor speaks. You love making him feel good, especially with something he was initially reluctant to try. You love the hint of desperation in his voice when he bucks his hips forward, a clawed hand digging into your hip where he clings to you for dear life.

A growl rips free from his throat as he comes down to bite gently at your shoulder, the slightest hint of teeth that he immediately soothes with his tongue. “To think,” he murmurs against your skin, “that you would be so desperate for me that you’ll take me in any hole. It’s enough to drive a man mad.” He begins to fuck you in earnest as your body burns at his words, the sweep of arousal and need that spreads through your body like fire rendering you beyond speech; you whine and moan like a whore into Alastor’s sheets, letting him use your body as he pleases, the only thing keeping you grounded the sharp pricks of his claws into your skin. You clench impossibly harder on him as the walls of your cunt flutter around nothing, his fingers wet with your slick and pressing insistently at your clit. “So perfect around me- fuck, darling, I’m already- fuck, fuck-”

His hips don’t stop shoving against your ass as he spends himself, a couple long pulses into the tight heat of your body as he growls, still pistoning as he fills you. He trails his teeth along the soft skin of your shoulders as if to distract himself from the way that you shake and ripple around him as you reach your peak as well, the echo of his cursing echoing in your head as you commit it to memory with a cry of his name. 

Everything is quiet for a moment while Alastor catches his breath, huffing heavily into your back and running soothing hands over the pinpricks he’s left on your hips. “Forgive me,” he says, and you can hear the tinge of embarrassment to the words. “I didn’t mean to- spend myself so quickly, before I could attend to your needs.”

“Needs met,” you slur against the pillow, a low groan escaping you when he pulls out and you feel his release dribbling slowly from your body before there’s a snap and soft fabric wiping at your sore skin. Your brain is still light and fuzzy as he cleans the two of you up, flipping you and repositioning so that you rest against his chest, body covered with silk sheets that he pulls over the top of you. “Thank you,” you murmur into his chest, the soft fur of it tickling your nose.

He hums into your hair, stroking a hand down your back. “It was a satisfactory venture out of my comfort zone,” he says softly. “I’m not sure that I would want to do this on a regular basis by any means but it would be a nice treat every once in a while.”

You hadn’t even expected him to agree to another time- you’d thought he would indulge you this once and move past it with how reluctant he had been at first, before he agreed once you assured him that it wouldn’t cause you any pain and that such an act was commonplace now. Your heart swells with affection, and you stretch up far enough to press a kiss to his cheek. “Love you,” you mumble, and the resulting rumble in his chest when he says it back is enough to lull you into an easy, sated sleep.

[emisprocrastinatingbywriting]

Alone and Forsaken

Chapter 6 Summary:

Waking up along alone is certainly not what you expected after a night of passionate love making with Joel. To make things worse, a snowstorm is sweeping through the trees, making you nervous about his whereabouts. With no other option, you leave to go find him and are surprised with what you find.

Warnings: Minor Injuries, Angst and Fluff, Soooo much smut, likely truly filthy smut and I make no apologies, Joel is bad at feelings, mentions of past abuse/trauma, and brief mention of violence towards the end (not towards reader or Joel)

A/N: Hello my lovelies, I hope your week has been good. Major smut warning for this chapter, just truly filthy fucking near the end (I'm ovulating rn, my bad lol). Amidst the loads of smut, we learn a bit more about reader's background. More importantly, we get the first glimpse into who Paul is. This chapter is mainly through Joel's perspective as he works through some things with reader. Again, read with caution if you have past trauma. Take care of yourself always!

Chapter 6/20

Chapter 6: Confessions

“Please.” 

“I already said no.”

“But-”

“Behave.”

You whined, kicking your legs out in frustration before a sharp smack to your ass made you yelp. The thick drag in between your folds started again as a palm came up to soothe the burn.  

“Joel,” you whimpered. 

The feeling of the tip of his cock nudging your clit as he rubbed his length up and down your seam made you twitch. Another slap came down on the other cheek and you wailed. Joel cooed at you, rubbing at the angry red mark he had left behind with one hand as the other held your hips in place. 

“Jesus darling, you’re prettier than a picture like this. Wish you could see it,” Joel groaned as he continued to rut against your folds, the head catching on your entrance as you deepened the arch in your back. 

“Ungh - fuck, please - need you inside,” you mewled, trying to wiggle closer so that you could sink down on to the cock that throbbed against your slickened center. 

“Hmmmm… I don’t know. I don’t think you need it that bad,” he teased. 

You let out a grunt, frustration getting the better of you as you ripped out of his grasp and began to crawl up the bed. Just before you reached the headboard, hands grabbed your hips and yanked you back as you squealed. Joel brought both of his hands down, a wave of slick dribbling down your thighs as both sides of your ass smarted. 

“Sweet girl, ‘thought I told you to stay still while I’m playing with this pretty pussy. Can’t you feel how wet she is for me? Be good and maybe I’ll let her have it,” he tsked, positioning himself before he restarted the slow grind against you. 

Defeated, you relented, crying into the sheets and trying to keep yourself still as he dragged himself back and forth. You had no idea how he was keeping himself together, your heat had made you desperate for him but his rut seemed to only make him mean. Heat gathered inside of you, clit throbbing as the feeling of him against you had you racing towards your release. Joel’s fingers dug into your hips, hand coming up every so often to smack your ass as you moaned and wept.

“P-please, I can’t - AH! Daddy, ungh, inside please. Need you inside,” you stuttered, a handful of swats making it almost impossible to finish your request. 

Joel chuckled and slowed his pace, hushing you as you whimpered and thrashed. You were close to cussing him out but the words died in your throat. Joel began to breach your entrance, slick soaking the end of his dick as he held it against your hole. The two of you felt how your walls tried to pull him deeper as tears blurred your vision. You babbled and keened, begging Joel to push himself further in. 

He leaned forward, covering your back with his broad chest. The feeling of his strong nose skimming your neck made you shiver. You felt him smile against your skin, kissing both of your tear stained cheeks before he leaned in to whisper in your ear. 

“Careful what you wish for,” Joel said softly before slamming into you. 

-

An ear-splitting, high pitched wail was ripped out of your throat as you shot up in bed. Confused and sweating, it took a few seconds to shake off the filthy dream. You rubbed your bleary eyes and yawned, surveying the disaster. Sweat, slick, and cum soaked the sheets below you, traces of you and Joel covering almost every inch of the room now. Joel had fucked you last night until his rut hit somewhere between your third or fourth round, then he had fucked you some more. He stopped only to get you a snack and a glass of water, grumbling as you made him share it with you again. After you were fed he was back on you, sending you over the edge again and again. 

The final round was much like your dream. He had you ass up with your face shoved into the sheets below. You drooled into the fleece as he held the back of your neck, pushing you deeper into the bed as you arched against him. His pace was unbearable, his thrusts resounding throughout the room with a wet thwap, thwap, thwap. Joel had already made you cum three times in this position and the overstimulation was becoming almost too much. You couldn’t help the way your body convulsed each time he drove into you with a grunt, sobbing and hiccuping as he pulled you closer to yet another release. 

“P-pleeeease, I can’t. Need you to umph - need you to cum in me,” you whimpered.

Joel hissed, his thrusts faltering for a moment before speeding up, “Yeah baby? Is that it? Is that what you need? Need me to cum in that little pussy? Fuck, so fucking wet for me - shit!” 

A couple more thrusts and his knot was pulsing against your walls. Eyes bleary, you came painfully hard against him for what felt like the millionth time. The pleasure tore through you and fried every nerve ending in your body as you screamed. Without any warning you had collapsed onto the sheets below, pulling a grunt from Joel as the connection between you had yanked him down on top of you. Your head felt like it was underwater as you laid there. You went in and out of consciousness as he pulled you both on your sides, honeyed words coaxing you down from your high. His rasp had lulled you, warm skin covering you like a thick blanket as you snuggled back into him. 

You drifted for a bit, barely noticing when he finally pulled out and left the room. Moments later you groaned as he flipped you on to your back. You felt him cleaning between your legs, cooing as the wet cloth made you whine at him. After Joel was done he rolled you back on to your side, positioning himself behind you before he tucked you into his chest. His arms holding you and legs tangled with your own, a feeling of peace washed over you. You smiled as he kissed the back of your head and whispered goodnight. Sleep had already pulled you under before you could respond. 

As you remembered the past 24 hours with Joel, a rush of desire had your core dripping and abdomen cramping up again. You whipped your head around in search of him. Despite the slight ache that made you wince as you shifted, the heat that still lurked in your system called for him. You turned, finding nothing but empty sheets and discarded clothes around you.

“Joel?,” you called, waiting for an answer for a moment before slipping out of bed. 

The heat was bearable for a moment, still there but prowling in the corners of your being as you moved through the hall. The air was frigid against your damp skin and your teeth chattered as you walked. The cabin was colder than it had ever been and you could see your breath puff out in front of you. For a moment you wondered why Joel would even be out here and then you remembered how his rut had turned him into a furnace. You shook your head and tried to forget about the heat that radiated off his skin as he pounded into you. Joel probably couldn’t even feel how cold it was in the cabin.  

Reaching the living room, you tried not to gag as fear made your stomach churn. Knees shaking, you walked over to the front door. The wood thumped against the frame as frosty wind howled outside. You jumped as the heavy metal latch banged against the frame. Grabbing the latch to keep it from spooking you again, you took a deep breath and poked your head out. 

A snow storm had arrived sometime after you finally passed out in the early morning and it covered everything in white. The sight would have been beautiful if the wind wasn’t tearing through the trees and stirring up the flurries as they fell. Squinting as you tried to find his figure amongst the snow, it was nearly impossible to see more than a few feet in front of you. To make things worse, the evening light was slowly dying and a new wave of fear had you trembling in the doorway. Joel was out in this? Your eyes snapped to the coat hanger and noticed that Joel had left his hefty jacket behind. 

You swore, mind racing as the thought of him lying dead under a layer of snow forced you into action. The cramps in your abdomen were growing more impatient but you ignored them and slipped on Joel’s forgotten coat. You shoved on a pair of clunky boots, growling in frustration as you realized that the boots you donned were his too. You wondered how he had survived for years out here by himself and thought about tearing him a new one as you tried to prepare for the bitter wind. Steeling yourself, you took a deep breath before you set off to find him. 

 - Joel -

Panic. 

That’s what Joel felt as he watched you sleep peacefully in his arms. 

Joel had woken up to the feeling of you shifting, a soft hmph coming from you as you hugged one of his arms that was thrown over your body. A sleepy smile broke out on Joel’s face, a long forgotten feeling sending butterflies loose in his belly. Looking down, he wondered why he had ever pushed you away. His eyes ran over your body, admiring every inch before his gaze had landed on the cum leaking out of your core. It made his cock twitch at first, kickstarting the feverish thoughts about him fucking you, claiming you, filling you with him until it took. It was that last part that caught him off guard. 

He cussed, beginning to panic as he realized what he had just done. Not only had he fucked you, oh no, he had knotted you. And not once, but so many times that he couldn’t even count. Even better, he did this while you were in heat and he was in a rut, which upped the chances of it taking by like a million percent. He gulped, his heart starting to thunder as he slid out of bed as quietly as he could, throwing on random clothes before tiptoeing out of the room. 

Joel paced in the living room as he tore into himself. What the fuck did he think would happen? Of course, knotting you might lead to pregnancy. He was a grown man, he should know that. What was he thinking? Well, that’s just it, he wasn’t thinking. Joel growled, rubbing his face as he cursed every God that had ever existed for giving him a cock. His eyes snapped open as the panic burning his chest continued to build, his rut making it so much worse. Holy fuck, what if you were pregnant already? No, that’s stupid of course you’re not. And plus, he could still smell the slick heat calling to him from the bedroom. 

Still, the smell did little to comfort him and Joel’s mind began to spiral with the possibilities. Okay, so what if he did get you pregnant? He needed to keep you safe. Oh fuck, he needed to keep his pup safe. His racing heart made him sway on his feet, the walls shrinking in on him as he thought of the words the intruder said to him. Paul will be coming for what’s his, echoed in his ears over and over as he began to tense and growl. His rut brought out a brutal side to him and the rage he felt made him practically vibrate as he fantasized about slitting the throat of the unknown man. Paul couldn’t have you, you belonged with him. Delirious and sweating, Joel had shoved his feet into the first pair of shoes he found and trudged out into the blizzard. 

Operating on autopilot, he worked for a few hours. He didn’t go very far, wanting to be near enough to hear you in case of danger. Joel settled on fencing in the trees that surrounded the cabin, tearing the skin on his hands as he worked with the sharp wire. Mind focused on nothing but keeping everyone else out, he didn’t even think about the fact that he would have to leave some sort of exit for himself. At some point Joel would need to get out to get water and check his traps but his brain was clouded with fear. Instead he sealed the two of you in, not even blinking as the snow covered his shoulders and the barbs nicked his hands. He was just about to start setting new traps along the perimeter when he heard a soft voice call his name. 

Joel whipped around, seeing nothing but snow as he tried to pinpoint where it came from. He almost ignored it, thinking that maybe his rut was making him hear things. But when the frigid breeze brought a faint whiff of his favorite smell, he knew it wasn’t his mind playing tricks on him. Joel surged forward, his strides quick and determined. Carried by instinct alone, he found his way to you in no time, grabbing you and turning you to face him as you yelped in surprise. 

“Joel! What are you doing out here? It’s not safe,” you blubbered over the howling wind, shoving at his chest as tears of frustration froze on your cheeks. 

He blinked, trying to make sense of what you said. Not safe? Joel knew it wasn’t safe, that’s why he was out here. Couldn’t you see that?

“M’gonna take care of you. Nobody’s gonna take you. Not ever,” Joel growled, his eyes frantic as he shook your body where it stood, trying to make you understand his urgency. 

Joel could feel your eyes burning into him as he whipped his head around, looking for any sign of danger. He didn’t like you out here, it was too open. As he stood in front of you, he tried to figure out where the vantage point would be if someone wanted to attack. Someone could throw some sort of fabric over the fence and vault it. If they did that he would need to push you behind him and charge. Or they could climb a tree, that would be easier. From the tree, they could just hop down on top of him. If they got the jump on him he would need to throw them off before they could do any damage. If Joel got hurt, you would be without protection. What would he do if that happened? Chest tight, Joel felt like he was about to keel over when soft, cold hands grabbed his face and yanked it forward. 

“Joel,” you said seriously, cheeks flushed and nose slightly runny as your worried eyes met his. 

“I need-,” he stopped as you cut him off. 

“You NEED to come inside Joel. It’s not safe out here in the storm. I need you to come back with me right now.”

A grunt rumbled in Joel’s chest as the wind tore through the both of you, panic still hooking into his heart and pulling him back towards his work. 

“Please alpha.”

Suddenly torn, Joel groaned as one half of him now needed to stay and continue to fortify, while the other half needed to fuck you into the mattress until you gushed around him. He tried to shake the latter from his mind, trying to remember the words the intruder had said to keep his mind straight. Joel tried hard not to think about his hard cock pressing against the cotton shorts that covered his - Wait, what? What the fuck was he wearing? 

Looking down, Joel was greeted by the sight of his own tan legs staring back at him. He swore, realizing that he had come all the way out here in nothing but a pair of boxers, a t- shirt, and a pair of ratty slippers. Meeting your gaze once more, he suddenly understood the anxious look in your eye. Joel looked absolutely insane. He was outside soaking wet during a snowstorm with barely any clothes on, trying to figure how to argue his way into staying as his palms bled against the bulky coat that covered your shaking figure. 

“I uh - I don’t-,” he trailed off, embarrassed at the state he was in. 

“I know, c’mon. Come back with me Joel,” you soothed, pulling his arm behind you as you turned back towards the cabin. 

Joel followed dumbly, fighting the urge to tear his arm away and run back to his doomsday preparations. The only thing that kept him on your heels was the sight of your bare legs pebbled with goosebumps. Guilt swirled in his gut as he realized that you had come out to find him in nothing but a coat and boots. Your body had probably shook from the harsh breeze as you trudged through the layers of thick snow, only to find him in this state. He wondered briefly how long you had been outside but he had to stop. Thinking about it made him close to tears. 

After reaching the cabin, you pulled him inside and latched the door. With the door shut, you moved to undress him. Joel tried to object but you had glared at him until he relented. He gulped, suddenly feeling like he was a little boy rather than a 56 year old man. For someone who was so sweet, he now understood that you could be fucking scary when you wanted to be. Wet clothes torn off, you led him to the couch and shoved him down before covering him with a blanket. 

“Honey I don’t need-,” Joel started, trying to get up the moment he noticed the fire had gone out. 

“Shut up.”

Joel guffawed, the alpha in him begging him to ignore it and build a nice big fire for you but your tone made him stay put. He watched as you turned, ridding yourself of the soaked jacket and boots before trailing off into the kitchen. Joel stared at the wall, shame making his breaths rattle in his chest as he swallowed thickly. He heard you click on the kettle and tried to focus on the sound of you readying what he assumed was tea so that he wouldn’t start crying. Joel felt absolutely useless. His cock ached as it leaked against the soft pudge of his stomach but he ignored it, closing his eyes and trying to calm himself. 

He heard you move back into the room, setting down a mug on the side table to his left before rustling with the fireplace. He listened to the thud of logs being tossed in, the crinkling of paper, the flicking of a lighter, and soft bursts of air coming from your lips to feed the flame. Joel’s eyes opened as you stood in front of the fire, the dying light that crept in from the windows making you look ethereal. You turned and walked back over to him, moving the blanket to the side before you slid onto his lap. Joel whined at the coldness of your skin, gritting his teeth to keep his emotions in. You sighed, covering the both of you with a blanket before reaching over to grasp the steaming mug. 

“Drink.”

Joel looked down at the mug and back up at you before he weakly repeated the words you had said to him the day earlier, “Share it with me?” 

You smiled, nodding your head. He took the first few gulps fast. The minty liquid scalded his tongue and he winced. He didn’t mind it too much though, the pain sobered him a bit. You hissed like you could feel his pain yourself and snatched the mug away from him. Joel grimaced as you tested it, watching as you coughed from the temperature and quickly placed the mug back on the side table. You turned to him with an eyebrow raised and he looked back at you sheepishly. Sighing again, you reached back to the side table and grabbed what looked to be a damp cloth, pulling one of his bleeding hands up to clean.

“You gonna tell me what that was about?,” you asked softly, frowning at the cuts.

Joel shifted under you, his heart racing with your core so close to his painfully hard cock. He really didn’t want to have this conversation right now. However, as he watched you move to wrap his hand in a bandage, he knew he had no choice. 

“I got scared,” he mumbled, watching you work to avoid your gaze. 

You hummed, switching hands before you asked, “Of me again?” 

His eyes widened, looking up at you in confusion as you continued to work. Your eyes stayed on his hand, putting the cloth aside and grabbing the bandages as he sat there with his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. 

“Wh- scared of you? I’ve never been - Darling, I’m not - I just - What?,” Joel said, stumbling over his words as he tried to make sense of the question. 

Joel tried to get his thoughts straight, but it didn’t help that he was also actively trying to keep himself from canting his hips upwards. Your eyes met his as you finished the other hand. If he was a weaker man he probably would’ve moaned as they pierced through his rough exterior, making him grind his teeth as his dick jumped. Leaning down, you kissed the rough bandage before placing your hands on his shoulders. 

“Fine. It wasn’t me this time,” you said, bulldozing through Joel’s attempts to speak as you continued, “But it was something. What was it?”

Joel felt helpless. He didn’t want to tell you about his worries, especially about what the intruder had said. He couldn’t, not with you so vulnerable. Joel had no idea what to do and your gaze made him nervous as he tried to think of an answer. 

“Sweetheart I -,” he gasped as you began to rock your hips against him, soaking him as he tried not to whine. 

“You what? Big bad alpha can’t speak? Has to run away from me instead of talking it through,” you challenged, anger seeping into your tone and making him groan as you pulled his hair. 

Joel swallowed and moved to grab your hips, needing to pull you against him harder but you shoved his bandaged fists away. He whimpered desperately, which surprised him but made you smirk as you continued to rub yourself over him. Joel felt like he was in a dream as utter shock quickly turned into overwhelming desire.  

“Aw, and now he wants to touch me. How sweet. Too bad he couldn’t use his words. Now he gets to watch,” you spat, moving your hand down to grab ahold of him, positioning his cock at your entrance before sliding down in one go. 

You both groaned, his cock twitching against the grip your pussy had on him as slick dripped down his balls and stained the couch below. Before Joel had a chance to say anything you were off, rising so that only the tip stayed inside before dropping down hard. The pace you set was brutal and it had Joel pressing his thumbs into his torn palms to keep himself from cumming too quickly. Choked groans and whines tumbled freely from his mouth, the pressure building in him as you used him for your own pleasure. 

“This what you need, daddy?,” you asked breathily, pace unfaltering as his head spun, “Need me to remind you who you belong to? Who owns this fucking cock Joel, tell me.”

Joel choked on his spit at his own words being shot back at him. He had never allowed someone to use him like this, to claim his body as their own. The thought of anyone doing that had never appealed to him but now, with your pussy gushing around his cock and your words making him dizzy, he knew he could get behind one person doing it to him. He closed his eyes, trying to get it together before his attention was snapped back to you by a harsh grip on his hair. You pulled his head back, eyes meeting as you bounced ruthlessly in his lap. An embarrassingly loud moan escaped his lips as you tugged on his curls again, his knot already starting to nudge your entrance.  

“You want to knot me Joel? Want to fill me up - ah fuck - make me yours?,” you asked, pace getting more frantic as your pussy began to tighten around him. 

Joel nodded enthusiastically, all previous fears about cumming inside of you thrown out the window as he sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and prayed you were close. He needed to feel you choke his cock before he finished, he needed it like he needed the air he breathed. Grabbing his chin with one hand as the other used his shoulder for support, you pulled his gaze from the bouncing tits in his face and made him meet your gaze. 

“If you want to cum inside, answer me. Who owns this fucking cock? ” you grunted. 

Eyebrows pinched together and cock on the verge of exploding, Joel broke. Desperate words spilled out of him before he could catch them as you kept up the frantic pace.

“Fucking shit baby, you! You own it! S’all yours, fuuuck. Please honey just - ha - just let me have it. God fuck, m’yours. I’m fucking yours just - ungh - please!,” Joel moaned wantonly. 

You smiled down at him sweetly before slamming down onto his knot, locking the two of you together as you both came. 

Joel let out a shout as his cock erupted inside of you. His hands moved to hold your hips down, forcing you as far down as you could go. His cock released a torrent of cum, painting your insides white until you were bloated with it. You moaned and shook against him, wave after wave of pleasure making you clamp down around his knot and dragging him back into another orgasm. His vision blacked out, mouth finding your neck and sucking at your gland as you arched into him. Joel used every bit of strength he had not to bite down and firmly seal the deal, to make you officially his, but he couldn’t. That would have to be a conversation, a big one. He would never force you into something you didn’t want. Still, a small part of him secretly hoped you would claim him first. 

After the last bit of pleasure had been milked out of him, he sighed and sat back, eyes raking over your bare skin. You looked as fucked out as he felt. Your hair was a disaster, eyes teary and red, sweat covering every inch of you as you tried to catch your breath. It had him twitching painfully inside of you again. You were a sight that he could get used to looking at, one that he knew he could never go without now. 

“Where did that come from?,” Joel panted, his mind still reeling. 

You laughed and shook your head, hands coming up to play with the curls at the back of his neck. 

“I had a dream that you were being… Well, you were being kinda bossy and I felt like maybe I needed to try it out. Thought it might prove a point,” you huffed, “I mean, I left out some stuff but that was the jist.” 

Joel laughed then groaned, his knot twitching inside of you from the jostling. He took a breath and closed his eyes to slow his racing heart before he reopened them to look at you. 

“The fuck did you leave out?,” he asked. 

You rolled your eyes, cheeks going red as you said, “I don’t know, you were being a bit rough. Smacking my ass so that it left a mark, stuff like that. I could get a little more bossy but you’re sitting down so…”

Joel squawked, “You’d have reddened my backside if I wasn’t sitting?”

You shrugged, “Dunno, maybe.” 

A peal of laughter came out of Joel, the admission taking him completely off guard. Your head snapped up, face twisted in annoyance for a second before you joined him. Uncaring of the way his knot jolted from the outburst, Joel laughed until he had to wipe tears from his eyes. After his laughter subsided he met your gaze and smiled. 

“Well sweetheart, if there’s anyone I’d let slap me silly, I reckon it’d be you,” he joked. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you said, beaming at him. 

Shaking his head, Joel chuckled, “M’ sure you will.” 

You smiled for a second before a serious look crossed your face again and you looked away, suddenly avoiding his gaze as you twirled his graying strands. He could tell you wanted to ask him something but that you didn’t want to upset him. Looking down at where the two of you were locked together, he sighed, resigning himself to a conversation that he didn’t want to have. It’s not like he was going anywhere.  

“Go on darling, say what you want to say. I won’t get mad.” 

You looked up, studying his face for a moment before you asked again, “Why were you scared?” 

Joel sighed, his fears coming to the surface once more, but he pushed them away. He needed to be honest with you, that much was clear now. If he was going to figure out how to deal with this, he needed to know what had happened. And plus, it wasn’t fair for you to be in the dark about someone who may or may not have been a big part of your life. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but a small part of him was worried that you might actually want this Paul guy to come and take you away from him. Joel wasn’t sure he could survive that if it happened. He’d already lost so much. But still, he needed to be honest. 

“I need to ask you something. Now, I don’t want you to get upset but I just… It’s something that the man that came in here said. I wanted to tell you about it but then with your heat, I thought maybe it’d be best if I waited. Then my rut came and the thought of it is driving me crazy. I mean you saw how crazy I went and I -” you placed your lips against his, cutting off his rambling. 

Joel’s eyes slipped shut as his lips touched yours. It was quick and sweet, just enough to bring him back down to earth before he spiraled again. His lips chased yours as you parted and the sound of your giggle made him smile. 

“Ask me Joel.” 

He nodded and grabbed one of your hands in his, rubbing his thumb over the knuckles as he began. 

“Who's Paul and Cooper?” Joel asked cautiously.  

Joel winced as he watched your face fall, squeezing your hand in his to try and ground you. A million emotions flickered across your face. Shock, fear, anger, sadness, and then back to fear. 

“I d-don’t - how did you -,” you stammered, trying to pull a sentence together but failing. 

“The man that was here, he um… Before I uh… Well, before I killed him, he kept talking about how Paul and Cooper were looking for you. How Paul would be coming for what’s his and um… Well, I got the notion that he meant that y’all were together or something,” Joel said, treading extremely carefully as your face grew more and more pinched. 

“I am not his, I am my own fucking person Joel. Paul doesn’t own me, I don’t give a shit what he says. Nobody fucking owns my body but me. I thought you would understand that. And Cooper can go fuck himself,” you snarled. 

Joel put his hands up in defense and shook his head wildly, scrambling to tear the foot from his mouth. 

“No, of course not baby. I’m not - That’s not what I’m saying. I would never think - Own you? ‘Course nobody can own you, that’s not what I was trying to say. I was just trying to tell you what the man said, I’m not - oh fuck, I’m screwing this up,” he stuttered, his heart rate picking up again as you glared at him. 

With his stuttered protest hanging in the air, you relaxed a little in his lap. Joel watched as you looked away, suddenly seeming a lot more deflated as you stared at the carving of the cowboy that sat on the bookshelf. 

“I’m sorry Joel. I know I shouldn’t… It’s just with my heat and everything - I swear I didn’t mean to snap at you or assume that you would be like him. I just -,” you stopped and bit your cheek as your words faltered. 

Joel shook his head, reaching out with one of his hands to brush the tears away as they fell. He hushed you, bringing the other to your hip to rub soothing circles into the skin as he had before. 

“S’alright darling. You don’t got anything to apologize for. Alphas can be… Well, a lot of us can be assholes, I know that. I’d never try to… Your body is your own honey, I know that. I’d never assume otherwise, I swear,” he said softly, hoping you would understand. 

You sniffed and nodded, “I know Joel.” 

“Good. So just talk to me baby,” Joel encouraged as he brushed the hair off of your face.

You nodded, looking down for a second and pulling in one long breath before you began.

“Paul was chosen to be my mate. I couldn’t - Omegas didn’t really have a choice where I grew up, so there wasn’t much I could do but I… I knew Paul. He was one of Josiah’s closest men back home and he was… scary.”

Joel furrowed his brow, “Scary how?” 

“Scary like, I don’t know. He was really mean to anyone who wasn’t an alpha. Betas, he could stomach to a certain degree but he would be a lot snappier. But if an omega talked without being spoken to in front of him, he’d have them thrown into the pit for a week. He was even mean to animals, Jake saw him kill a dog once for taking food he’d left out. It was this little boy’s dog, he had rescued it before he even got to camp. Brought it all the way across the country but Paul just killed the poor thing like it was nothing,” you said, shuddering at the memory. 

A sick feeling rushed over Joel and twisted his stomach, making him grit his teeth as he listened. He tried to focus on calming you, knowing that if he opened his mouth all that would come out would be a detailed report on the many ways he could kill Paul. 

“Anyways… So, I never liked him. He always followed me around and would try to get me alone, but my mom was so strict. It was the only time I was ever thankful for it actually, because it meant that I was never left with him. He always looked at me in a way that made me feel…” you stopped and pressed a finger to the tip of your nose as you tried to think of the word. 

“Uncomfortable?” Joel provided. 

“Yeah, uncomfortable I guess. It just… always made me feel kinda dirty, like he was trying to see through my clothes or something,” you said. 

Joel nodded thoughtfully, “That’s your instincts. Smart that you listened to them. Lot of young people don’t ‘cus they want to be nice and then they wind up getting hurt.”

You thought it over for a second before you nodded and continued. 

“I guess so. Didn’t matter much anyways. About two years ago, Jake got caught trying to sneak away with Liam,” you started but he cut you off. 

“Whose Liam?” he asked. 

Joel kicked himself for interrupting. It reminded him how Sarah used to tease him for asking too many questions when she tried to talk to him about her friends. He could only ever keep track of a few names, the less mentioned friends always getting forgotten or confused with another. 

“Liam was Jake’s boyfriend. He was really sweet. Jake thought he was handsome but I could never get over how red his hair was,” that earned a huff of laughter from Joel and you smiled back for a moment before continuing, “They wanted to run away and start a new life together.”

Joel nodded for you to continue. Watching as your face grew solemn once more, he squeezed your hand again to bring you back to earth. You looked up and squeezed him back before moving on. 

“Josiah said Jake was to be mated to Paul’s younger brother Cooper. He wasn’t like Paul, I always thought he was actually pretty nice in comparison. Still, he never said anything when Paul was on a rampage, always looked too scared. I guess Jake couldn’t take it so he tried to get out. They got caught and Josiah flipped because they were both omegas. He kept yelling and calling them a bunch of really bad things, and they ended up hanging Liam for some charge. I don’t remember what it’s called now… Sodony, maybe?”

“Sodomy?,” he guessed, trying to keep his face neutral as the story just kept getting worse. 

You nodded, “Yeah, that’s it I think. They were going to hang Jake too but I started yelling. I begged Josiah first but he wouldn’t budge, so I tried to get Paul to stop it. I thought maybe since he liked me, he might agree to let Jake go to the pit instead, and he did. He convinced Josiah to let Jake go. A couple of weeks later Jake got out and married Cooper. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so sad.” 

You stopped and Joel waited, not wanting to interrupt again. 

“About a month after that, Josiah said I had to marry Paul. I begged him not to make me, I even asked if it could be someone else but he was set on Paul. There was nothing I could do. The wedding was awful, I refused to say my vows but it didn’t matter. Josiah married us. I was hoping that I would get hit by lightning or something until my mom pulled me aside. She shoved me into a room with her and Miriam. They got me out of the stupid dress and gave me some supplies. Mom didn’t say a word but Miriam opened the window and told me to go, so I left,” you said. 

Joel cocked his head in confusion, “Thought you said you came here because your place got overrun.” 

You nodded, “It did. I left for about two months. Figured Paul would just ask Josiah for another mate, he had already gone through two others. But he made them keep looking for me. They finally caught up and threw me in the pit. Rachel came to see me a couple times while I was there. Miriam and her were making plans to get me and Jake out of town, but they never got the chance. The day we were overrun was the day I got out. I haven’t even seen Paul since the day they caught me.” 

That was so much to unravel, but there was one part in particular that irked Joel so he asked, “Gone through? What do you mean he’s gone through two other omegas?” 

Shrugging, you looked at him and said, “Omegas don’t count. First one didn’t listen to him, or something like that I’m not sure, and died in the pit. I was young when it happened, maybe thirteen or so. And the other one had a high risk pregnancy. Miriam said she needed an abortion but Paul didn’t want to hear it so both the omega and the pup died. That happened about two years before Josiah set us up.” 

Joel’s mind spun with this information. What the actual fuck? He gathered that the place you had grown up in was a cult, there was no doubt in his mind about that. But omegas don’t count? Forced marriages? Fucking forced births? He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. In the back of his mind he knew he should say something to comfort you, but he was pissed. 

“I’m going to kill him,” he stated, forgetting that you were still in front of him despite the fact that his softening cock was still inside of you. You laughed and the movement forced him to remember your presence. You looked at him sweetly, which made him extremely confused. Why were you so calm? 

“I’m sure you will alpha,” you chuckled. 

Joel shook his head, pushing himself up as he continued, “I’m serious. He doesn’t get to just treat you or fucking any omega like that. M’gonna rip his fucking head off if I ever see him. Paul can’t have you, I will kill him for thinking that he ever could darling. I swear.” 

Smiling, you rubbed at the whiskers on his cheeks. He looked up at you, eyes sharp as he willed you to understand that he was being completely serious. Joel was going to destroy Paul the second he came within fifty feet of you. 

“I know Joel, that’s why I’m not worried. I trust you.” 

He gasped. You trusted him? Given the story that you had just told him, you had no reason to trust anybody. And you trusted him? Joel Miller, of all people. He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that you were real. Any normal person would be broken by now, jagged and cracked from the weight of all that had happened. And here you were, with probably a million more stories that would make him want to scream, yet you were still a drop of sunshine. 

“I think you might be one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, baby,” Joel said. And he meant it completely. 

Laughing, you tried to protest and swat him away but he persisted. 

“No stop - agh - wait shit, okay hold on honey,” he said. 

Stopping to pull out, he flipped you on your back and loomed over you, caging you in between his forearms before he continued, “Most people would not have survived all of that, and if they did - shit honey, if they did they probably would have turned out a lot like me. Tired and mean. But you? You went through everything that you did, so much shit that I ain’t even heard yet probably, and you’re still… you.” 

Tears formed in your eyes and you whined, pushing weakly against his chest to try to escape the intensity of the moment but Joel wouldn’t let you. He grabbed your face, leaning down to kiss everywhere he could. 

“You’re kind,” Joel kissed your nose.

“You’re smart,” he kissed your left cheek.

“You’re strong,” he kissed your right cheek.  

“You’re funny,” he kissed your chin. 

“And you’re fucking beautiful,” he finished, leaning down to capture your lips. 

The kiss was electric as your mouths moved together as one, that unsaid feeling growing bigger and bigger inside of Joel with each passing moment. He fought the urge to say it, those three little words that were getting hard to ignore. It was way too soon and right now, with you having just bared your soul to him and both of you sweating from the need rising again, he needed to wait. Lungs screaming for air, Joel pulled his lips from yours and panted against your mouth. 

“Joel,” you whimpered as your heat demanded attention. 

“Are you sure?” he asked, wary of spooking you after everything you had told him. 

Nodding, you pushed some of his hair back as it fell into his eyes. He couldn’t get over how beautiful you were, hair laid out against the couch, eyes bright from tears, a dusting of pink over your cheeks, and the way you looked at him - fuck. If he had less self restraint, that look alone would be what made him tell you everything. And he meant everything. Everything about losing Sarah, about the shit he did with Tommy, about Tess and everything they got up to, about losing Ellie, about how he’s scared to lose you too, about how he lo-

“I need you Joel, please.” 

Joel kissed you again, running his bandaged hands down the length of your body. He cupped one of your breasts and kissed his way down to suck a nipple into his mouth. You moaned, hands moving to cradle the back of his head as he switched between breasts. He kept at it until you were bucking against him. Taking the hint, he moved down your body until he reached your soaked cunt. It was still puffy and leaking from the brutal ride you had taken earlier, slick and cum mixed together in a way that had him growing impossibly harder. He wrapped a hand around himself absentmindedly, tugging at his cock to ease some of the tension before he grabbed you. 

Repositioning you so that your ass was hanging off of the end of the couch, Joel kneeled in front of you. He ignored the slight ache that had already begun in his joints, throwing your legs over his shoulders before he dove in. Joel devoured every inch of you, the taste of the two of you mixed together driving him crazy. He reached up and grabbed your hands in his, letting you squeeze them as he feasted. Sucking and batting at your clit, Joel had you whining and clenching around nothing embarrassingly quick. He groaned as the clenching of your walls pushed slick and cum onto his tongue, bathing his face in juices. 

“Joel, oh my- oooh shit,” you cried, throwing your head back as he moved down and shoved his thick tongue inside of you. 

As Joel’s tongue lapped up everything inside of you, your hips began to grind against his face. He moaned as you rubbed your clit against his nose, cock throbbing at the thought of you using every inch of him that you could reach for your own pleasure. He needed to make you cum again. Rubbing his tongue along the front wall of your pussy and smushing his nose into your clit, he felt your thighs clamp down around his head. Joel was completely smothered by you but he didn’t care. With his face buried between your thighs and his hands holding yours, he felt like he could die a very happy man like this. A shudder passed through your body and you came with a groan, Joel letting you ride it out on his face. 

He planned on continuing his meal, prefering to ignore his own rut as he feasted on your delicious core but the way you cried out to him had Joel clambering back over you. He looked down at you again with a shining face and you giggled, wiping off his mouth as you blushed.  

“I was saving that for later,” Joel drawled. 

You laughed, “Just come and get it from the source you dork.” 

He snorted, moving forward to kiss you as you locked your ankles behind him. Holding himself at your entrance for a moment, he paused, waiting for your nod before he slowly pushed forward. Moans rushed out of the two of you, bodies finally coming together again. He felt like it had been years since he had been inside of you last, even though it had barely been five minutes. 

“Fuuck. No place I’d rather be than inside of ya, baby,” Joel admitted. 

“Don’t ever leave me Joel.” 

That got his attention. 

His eyes locked on yours and he grabbed your face. Kissing you again, Joel poured the three words that he couldn’t bring himself to say into you. Leave you? He tried not to laugh. How the fuck did you think he could ever do that? He’d rather die. Joel pulled away, watching your eyelids flutter before he attempted to stumble through his own feelings for you. His hips slowed their pace, halting altogether as he gathered his thoughts before speaking. 

“Listen to me baby, I ain’t ever going to leave you. I need you. Before you, I was nothing. I came to this place hoping that I could hide away from the world until I died. This place was a fucking tomb for me. But now? Fuck, I couldn’t imagine my life without you. If you ever wanted to leave me I - fuck - it would kill me, but I’d let ya go if it would make you happy. But I will never leave you, d’ya understand?” 

You blinked up at him with shining eyes and blushed, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth as you nodded. Satisfied, Joel kissed you again and restarted his slow thrusts. He kept his mouth on yours, letting his hands roam all over your body as he kept up his pace. Your soft, muffled moans had him breathless and he moved his hand down to play with your throbbing nub. A whine came from you and he smiled, moving to kiss your neck as he worked you steadily towards your release. 

Out of all of the times the two of you had fucked so far, Joel decided that this was his favourite. Soft and sweet, with moans coming from both of you and bodies pressed together, he felt whole. You tugged at his hair with one hand, the other coming to rest over his heart as he continued his calculated thrusts. He felt you begin to tighten around him and he groaned, shifting so the tip of his cock steadily brushed over that sweet spot along your front wall. 

“Please Joel,” you whimpered, pulling his curls again. 

“What baby? What do you need? Tell me and I’ll give it to ya,” he asked urgently.

At this point, Joel was sure that he would give you anything you asked for. 

“Kiss me.” 

And so he did. Mouths melded and bodies writhing languidly against each other, he felt you begin to contract around him. He pressed down harder on your clit, knowing that he could get you there with just a little more pressure. His knot caught on your hole and he groaned as you locked your legs around him tighter, caging him in as he barreled towards the finish line. With one final swipe on the pulsing bud he slammed you down on his knot, making you scream as you came hard around him. Joel groaned as your walls milked him, collapsing on top of you as he came. His mind spun from the physical and emotional toll of the day as he sunk deeper into your embrace. 

The two of you held each other as you both floated, pleasure boiling over again and again and again. Joel felt like he was in limbo, his ears ringing from the absolute bliss that surrounded him. He moaned as you rubbed the tense muscles in his back, hands smoothing over the scarred surface without mentioning the jagged lines. He moved his face into the crook of your neck, humming as he kissed and nipped at the sensitive skin. For what felt like the millionth time, Joel had to push down the desire to bite down, the thought of it making him flood your insides again as he whined against your neck. He wondered if you’d ever leave your mark on him. The thought of you sinking your teeth into his neck, of you claiming him as your alpha, made him grunt. Before he had even come down from his last orgasm, his knot was pulsing again, cock exploding one last time at the thought of him being truly yours. 

Never, not once in his life, had he been so intimate with someone. Not with Sarah’s mom, not with Tess, not with any other of the countless names and faces that he had long since forgotten. Only you. Joel tried to think of any reason to stop himself but he couldn’t come up with a single one. Fuck it, he had to say it now or else he never would. 

“I love you Joel Miller.” 

Joel shot up onto his forearms as shock ran through him. He was slightly peeved that you had taken his line from him but mostly, all he felt was disbelief. 

“Me?” he sputtered, thinking that the only logical explanation was that he must have misheard you. 

“No, not you. I love the other Joel Miller,” you deadpanned, “Of course I mean you, dumbass!” 

He laughed hard, uncaring of how it made him throb inside of you again as relief washed over him. You loved him. You actually loved him. Worries about all the things he had left unsaid started to bubble up to the surface but he pushed them from his mind, allowing himself to have this moment. Joel knew it was selfish, dreading the day that he would have to finally come clean about his past but he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

Joel felt drunk off of you, his chest aching with the overwhelming emotions that he thought had died with Ellie. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. Joel chose the first option, expecting you to follow him in his joy, but when he looked back down he noticed how your brow was pinched. He cocked his head as he saw your teeth worrying your bottom lip. 

“What’s wrong darling?” he asked, silently praying that you wouldn’t take it back. 

“Um, nothing. I just thought maybe - um, given everything you said I thought you might feel… Nevermind! Everything is great, super awesome,” you murmured, stumbling over your words as you shrunk in on yourself. 

A beat passed before he swore and kicked himself for being a fucking idiot. 

“I love you too,” Joel rushed out, his words jumbled with the urgency of the statement. 

A goofy grin stretched over your face, “You do?” 

“Yeah darling, I really do,” he chuckled, leaning down to kiss you once more. 

The kiss was messy, with the both of you smiling too hard for it to deepen and laughing against each other's mouths. It was perfect. After a few moments, Joel pulled away and you groaned. 

“You can’t be all romantic like that and then not makeout with me, it’s rude,” you complained. 

Joel laughed again, shaking his head as he looked at you with warm eyes. His own laughter felt unfamiliar as it poured from his lips. He tried to remember if he had laughed in all the years that he had been in isolation. Did Tommy ever pull a laugh from him during their scheduled meets? No, the most he ever got from Joel was a forced smile as his brother tried to shove pictures of his nephew in his face. It was annoying, but he totally understood. Joel remembered being the dad that kept a ridiculous amount of pictures of baby Sarah in his wallet, jumping at the chance to show off his curly haired princess the moment anyone on a jobsite mentioned their family. He was proud that Tommy was that type of dad now too, but it didn’t exactly make laughter pour out from his mouth. 

Suddenly, Joel realized just how joyless his life had been these past four years and it made his love for you grow that much more as he looked down at you. 

“Maybe I wasn’t done romancing ya,” he drawled, his voice thick and syrupy. 

“Is that so cowboy?,” you asked, smiling as you pushed his hair behind his ears. 

He hummed, grinding his hips into you as you whimpered. Joel hissed, his softening cock starting to stiffen again as he pulled his half deflated knot out of you. The sudden loss made you claw at his shoulders, soft whines falling from your lips as he started to drag along your sensitive walls once more.  

“Joel, ah - s’good. You feel so good. Fuuck, feels so big,” you moaned as he wrapped your legs around him again. 

As Joel thrusted into you once more, he realized that your body was now bathed in moonlight. The sun must have gone down amidst your confessions and love making, he hadn’t even noticed it. Looking down, Joel’s eyes swallowed you whole. With your breasts jiggling as he pushed into you, bottom lip reddened from your teeth digging into it, slick matting the curls that covered your mound, he hiked your legs up over his hips. The action pulled a loud groan from you as he burrowed deeper inside. He admired the soft pudge of your stomach, preening at the knowledge that it was due to his cooking. Joel had provided for you, he had kept you fed and healthy. The thought almost drove him wild before he remembered. 

A shriek came from you as Joel lifted you from the couch, his cock still nestled inside of you as he began to walk towards the kitchen. You squawked, holding on for dear life as he carried you. He tried to ignore the way you clenched around him at the action, his mind set on the task ahead of him. 

“What - ungh,” you were cut off with a whine as he shifted your weight onto one arm, his cock bumping up against your cervix. 

“M’gonna feed ya first, then I’m gonna fuck ya,” Joel said blankly, not understanding your confusion as he opened the pantry. 

You whined and moaned as he ripped a package of oatmeal open with his teeth. He ignored your pleas as he reached forward to click the kettle on again. Joel carried you around as he readied your food, your pussy clenching as the wiry hairs at the base of his cock tickled your sore clit. It took everything in him not to start working you up and down on his dick, his teeth gritted as he slammed a bowl down onto the counter. He hissed and glared at you as you purposely clenched around him. It was tempting to drop everything and fuck you, but Joel refrained, his need to provide stronger than ever with his rut still burning through his veins. 

“Daddy,” you mewled into his ear, the soft words making his fingers press into your hips harder. 

“Eat first,” Joel grouched, his hand softly slapping the fat of your ass. 

A garbled cry came from you, slick trickling down his thighs from the experimental smack. Joel smirked, completely ignoring the way you fussed against him as he dumped the dried oats and boiling water into the bowl. He turned and walked towards the table, hushing you as he placed you on the edge of it. He smiled wickedly as he cupped your cheeks, cooing at your teary eyes and stuttery pleas. You hiccuped, the desperate cries for his cock making something dark stir inside of him. He had planned on making you cockwarm him as you waited for the oats, but he abandoned the idea the moment he saw how fucked out you were. Fuck it, he thought, oats take like five minutes to rise anyways, right?

“Aw hush baby, s’alright. She needs me so bad doesn’t she? Pretty pussy can’t go very long without my cock huh?,” Joel cooed, the sickly sweet tone of his voice making you impossibly wetter. 

You nodded, trying to buck your hips as he held you down on his cock. Joel tsked and pulled out of you fast, slick and cum dripping down your thighs as he flipped you around. You assumed the position, deepening the arch in your back and rising up on your tiptoes to present yourself to him invitingly. Joel growled at the sight, his cock dripping precum as he smacked your ass again. He grabbed your hair in his fist, making you tremble as he tapped the head of his cock against your clit. 

“P-please alpha, I need you to - shit Joel - I need your cock in me,” you blubbered, fingers scrambling for purchase on the varnished wood.

Joel yanked your head up from its place against the cool surface, which earned him a wanton moan from you. He felt his more dominant side peeking through the cracks of his subconscious, making his palms itch as his imagination ran rampant. He swore, thinking about the box of tricks he had left under his bed in Austin. A grunt left him as he thought about how you might look gagged and collared. 

Shit, he needed to get it together. Softening his demeanor for a moment, Joel loosened his grip and bent down to kiss the side of your sweaty face. 

“This okay darling?,” he whispered in your ear. 

You smiled, turning your head to capture his lips in a filthy kiss that had him shallowly thrusting into the tight fist of your wet cunt. Mouths panting as you pulled away, you wiggled your hips against him again. 

“M’sure daddy, feels so good. Be rough with me, I trust you,” you pleaded. 

Joel grinned, gripping your hair tight again and repositioning himself. He prodded at your entrance, moaning at how swollen and puffy your cunt looked. The hand not in your hair wrenched your cheeks apart and he watched as juices dripped down onto the floorboards below,  your holes winking at him as his smile grew. You whined and he was quick to slap your pussy. The sting made a guttural cry tear out of your chest as your knees began to shake. Joel laughed as your hips rocked forward and then back, body seemingly confused as to whether it should be pulling away or pushing back against him. 

“Hm, ‘think she liked that,” Joel observed, reaching out to gather your juices on his fingers before sucking them into his mouth. 

“I can’t - oh fu - Stop teasing or else I swear m’gonna - AH!,” a squeal echoed throughout the room as his hand came down on your slickened lips again. 

“Or else what baby, hm?,” the taunting in Joel’s voice made you clench as he pulled your hair again, “What are you gonna do? Rub that pussy against my things again? Gonna make daddy watch as you soak all the clothes you stole from him?”

You shook your head wildly, embarrassment making your cheeks burn but your pussy drool for him. It was a gamble, Joel degrading you like this, but boy was it paying off. With both hands, Joel slapped the sides of ass, making you choke on your spit and keen. He leaned forward and kissed your spine, taking mercy on you as you convulsed against the table. 

Joel chuckled, smoothing his bandaged hands over your reddened cheeks before he said, “Ask me nicely baby. Be a good girl and I’ll give you what you need. C’mon, know you can do it.” 

He gave you a second, letting you gulp down breaths as he ghosted his palms along the softer parts of your body. Your thighs, your stomach, your bruised hips, he gave attention to it all. For a moment, Joel wondered if he needed to elaborate on what he meant. After all, the entirety of your sex life had taken place in the span of less than 48 hours. But before he could rephrase his request, a small voice halted the words in his throat. 

“Please daddy, don’t tease me. I need you, I need - ungh - It hurts alpha, need you to make it better. I’ll be a good girl for you, I’ll let you play with my - mmmph - with my pussy whenever you want. Just please baby, please fuck me.” 

The plea made all the sense fly out of his head in an instant. With no warning whatsoever, Joel slammed his entire length into you. Not even giving you a second to breathe, he tugged your head up off the table by your hair and gripped your hip hard as he began to pound into you. The sounds coming from the two of you were ridiculously vulgar, a wet squelching sound came from your pussy as he spanked you again, his heavy sack slapping against your tender clit, moans and whimpers coming from the both of you. All of it had Joel pushing into you harder and faster. 

The brutality of his thrusts had the table scooting across the floorboards and he pulled your body up against his. You leaned your head back against his shoulder and he gave you a wet kiss on your cheek, panting as he grabbed one of your breasts and shoved his thumb into your mouth. Pressing down on your tongue, Joel had the satisfaction of feeling you squeeze him as you gagged. He huffed out a laugh, surprised as he felt you milk his cock so soon. 

“That soon babygirl? My cock making you feel that good huh?” he taunted. 

A muffled cry answered him as you sucked on his thumb. Joel hissed, his cock twitching inside of you as he felt you twirl your tongue around the tip of it. It made him think about how good you would look choking on his length as he fucked your face, but he pushed that thought to the side. For now, he needed to make you cum again. You whined as he pulled his thumb from your lips, mumbling nonsense at him as he moved the wet digit down your body. Goosebumps rose on your skin from the trail of spit his thumb left behind. Joel shushed you again, his pace doubling as his thumb started to rub tight circles over your clit. 

The joint in Joel’s jaw popped, his teeth gritting together hard as he felt his cock crying for release. He was so close, but he needed you to cum again before he lost it. Pressing his thumb down harder and rolling one of your nipples in his other hand, your whines turned to wheezes as his pace grew more erratic. 

“Nngh - that’s it sweetheart - FUCK - Oh my god baby, shit. Love how this pussy feels around me, love you so fucking much. G-gonna cum in you, fuck - gonna make you mine. Wanna fucking claim you - ah! My girl. My. Dirty. Fucking. Girl,” Joel babbled, last four words enunciated with mind breaking thrusts. 

You forced out a choked whimper that vaguely sounded like his name at his words. Joel marveled at how good you took him, slick steadily dripping down his thighs as he wrecked you. He grunted as your pussy began to lock up again, his balls tightening and knot catching at your entrance as he dragged you towards your peak. 

“Joel - oh fuck! I love - ugh- love you too. Pleaaase, oooh fuuck,” you wheezed. 

“Go on baby, fucking soak me. Oh shit - mmh - Show me how much you love my cock stretching you out. Cum for me sweet girl,” Joel ordered, spreading your lips between his soaked fingers with a V and bringing his palm down against your swollen clit hard. 

The slap to your pussy had you howling, slick gushing around him as he thrusted up once, twice, before he shoved his knot where it belonged. Joel held you against him, his vision spotting as you both crashed over the edge. You cried out as he grinded into you, overstimulation making tears prick at his eyes as he filled you over and over but he couldn’t stop. The pleasure was so intense that Joel lowered your upper body onto the table below, scared that he was going to fall to his knees as his mind went blank. He folded forward, blanketing himself over your shaking form and kissing at your neck. You tilted your neck, urging him to bite down as he continued his soft kisses.  

“Please Joel. C-Claim me. Wanna be yours,” you whined, pushing all of his buttons and making him release once more. 

Joel’s eyebrows were pinched together, a rumbling noise coming from his chest as he nipped at your gland. His mind raced with the request and he fought against his own instincts as he continued to ghost his teeth over the spot, not quite putting enough pressure into his nips to seal the deal. You keened and begged, earning another, more painful orgasm from him. 

“Darling, I can’t. Not right n-,” he started, sentence cut short from a loud sob. 

“But I-I -You don’t w-want me? M’no good? I want to be good, please! I can be so good for you. P-please alpha,” you sobbed. 

These cries were different and they sobered him quickly. With your heat and the rough pounding he had just given you, Joel knew you needed some extra care. Clumsily, with his legs still shaking, he lifted you. Groaning with the exertion, Joel suddenly felt very much his age as he stumbled forward. Almost tripping over a discarded boot, he managed to make it back to the couch and flopped down with you on top of him. 

He grimaced as you unknowingly crushed his balls beneath your weight, his knot burning with a pitiful release that had him panting against your hair. You mewled and weakly gripped his cock, still sobbing as you weakly came around him again. Joel swore, moving carefully as he got the both of you on your sides. Your body shook as you cried and he wrapped his arms around you, tangling his legs with yours as he hugged you tight. 

“Shhh sweet girl. That’s enough now. Course I want you, I’ll never want anyone but you ever again. Love you baby, ok? You did so good for me, so lucky to have you,” Joel praised, his words loving and soft. 

You sniffed and calmed slightly, still trembling against him. Unsure of what else to do, Joel leaned forward and kissed your neck again but it backfired immediately. An even more heartbreaking wail came from you and Joel began to panic as your sweet scent soured. 

“Y-you won’t claim me and I w-want you to be my,” a sob wracked your body before you could finish and he whined, the despair you felt seeping into him. 

Joel leaned forward and kissed at your cheeks, trying to pull you from your misery as he continued to whisper calming words into the dark room. 

“Darling, there is nothing I would rather do right now than bite down on that pretty neck of yours. Fuck, been thinking about it all day. Imagined how it’d feel for you to claim me, where you’d put your mark. I swear baby, there’s nothing I want more,” he confessed, head spinning as he let himself imagine it. 

“Then why -” 

“Because now ain’t the time. Not gonna let you make such a big decision when you’re in a heat, I’d never forgive myself. Baby, I love you. M’yours, I’ll always be yours. If you still want this when we’re right again, then we can talk about it. But not now honey, it wouldn’t be right,” he explained. 

Your crying slowly stopped as Joel continued to whisper sweet nothings into your ear, body melting into his as the words sunk in. 

“So,” you sniffed, “You would um… If my heat wasn’t a thing right now, you’d want to? You’d really want me like that? Forever?”

Joel leaned forward, nosing at your hair and breathing you in before he sighed, “I’ve never thought about claiming anyone, not until you. If that’s what you want after this, I’ll be there with bells and whistles on. Nothing I wouldn’t do to make you happy darling.” 

“You’d do anything to make me happy?,” you asked dreamily. 

He propped himself on his side, locking eyes with you as he pushed sweaty strands from your flushed face, “F’course honey, anything. What do you need? Tell me.”

You yawned, soft lips forming an O as you arched and stretched against him. Rubbing at your eyes, you hummed before looking back up at him. Joel smiled at your gaze, warmth spreading out from his chest and making his limbs numb. 

“I wanna nap with you and then I want you to make me something other than oatmeal please. Fucking hate oatmeal,” you grumbled, shoving him back down and pulling his arms around you again. 

Joel chuckled at that, snuggling against you as you matched his laugh. 

“Think that can be arranged sweetheart.”

With that you hummed, pulling one of his bandaged hands up to your lips and kissing it before closing your eyes. Despite the sweetness of the moment, Joel tried to stay awake. He was suddenly very aware of the open space he was in, but it was difficult as the last few rounds had exhausted him. In his younger years, he probably would be up and going again already, but now his knees ached and sleep lurked in the corners of his mind. He fought against it with every fiber of his being, needing to stay alert for your sake. 

Despite his attempts at fighting off sleep, Joel had come to realize that you could read him like a book. It was unnerving at times, as he was not used to being such an open book to anyone, but you picked up on his moods easily. Before Joel could spiral and trudge back out into the snow, he felt a hand reach back to scratch at his scalp. He groaned as his body grew heavier. 

“Stop thinking so hard Joel. Go to sleep.”

Joel tried to protest but it died in his throat, the hand in hair making his eyes droop no matter how hard he fought. He managed to murmur a soft love you before sleep took him, your quiet reply making him smile as he drifted off. 

Paul could wait until tomorrow. For now, Joel just needed you close to him. 

-

“Please, I don’t know anything about where she went! I already told you - agh!” 

“See, I want to believe you, omega. But it’s hard when I remember how close the two of you were. She even spoke out when you tried to run away from my brother.” 

Jake’s body shook, the cold air making the blood dripping from his broken nose turn freeze on his chest. He whimpered as Paul got closer, trying to shoot a pleading look at Cooper but it was no use. His mate was always complicit with whatever his brother wanted. He looked back at Jake with a mask of indifference, but he could see the twinkle of regret buried deep behind the cold pools of green. Cooper would apologize to him later as he cleaned the blood from his face, pitiful tears falling down the alpha’s face as he worked. Not that it mattered, Paul was always in control. 

Jake was brought back to reality as Paul gripped his hair, slamming him against the car. An oomph came from the omega as it knocked the air out of him. 

“You said that the two of you got separated when the infected ambushed the group. You saw that haggard old bitch and her mate get torn apart, then what? Where the fuck did she go?” Paul hissed as he shook Jake in his grasp. 

A yelp fell from Jake’s mouth as he was dropped on the frozen ground, his tailbone smarting as it smacked against the concrete. His whole body felt raw from running for weeks, dodging infected and raiders as he tried to find a safe place to lay his head at night. He was almost happy when he found Cooper. Sure, he wasn’t his first choice in mate but Cooper had never raised a hand against him. Jake had taken the first few steps towards his mate, tripping over the rotting clothes that littered the floor of the shop he had been holed up in. Cooper’s eyes had widened at him, motioning at him to stop and mouthing the word run. Jake was flabbergasted until Paul had come around the corner, then he understood. That was two weeks ago and Jake wished everyday that he had listened to Cooper, his absolute pushover of a mate. 

Everyday he was poked and prodded at by Paul, who was obsessed with the idea of getting you back. You slipping from his grasp had made him increasingly unpleasant. Just over a week ago, Jake had watched as Paul had threatened one of his men that questioned his search with a gun to his face. Cooper had sucked his teeth at that, shaking his head as he watched the greasy man stumble off in the direction Jake had seen you run towards. 

He couldn’t understand it. It’s not like you could’ve survived being out in the woods for so long, especially now with the snowstorm that had just swept through the trees. They probably wouldn’t even be able to find a body at this point. The thought made his vision grow blurry, his chest aching at the thought of his best friend's corpse buried beneath a blanket of snow, but he shook it off. Better you were dead than here with him. 

Paul sighed, walking back towards where Cooper stood and clapping him on the back. His mate winced slightly from the force of it but righted himself before Paul could notice. 

“You’re lucky you’re already mated Jakey-Jake or maybe I’d have to teach ya some manners. Clearly Coop here ain’t training ya right,” Paul sneered as he shook his little brother’s shoulder. 

Cooper blinked at that and Jake willed him to respond, to finally put an end to his brother’s behavior. But he just swallowed and looked down at his feet, kicking the snow with the heel of his boot. A wave of sadness washed over the omega as he watched Cooper’s hands turn to fists at his sides, gulping hard under Paul’s scrutiny. Seemingly satisfied with taunting his brother, Paul turned to Jake as he began to weep. His eyes narrowed once more as he walked back towards his trembling figure. 

“Full story from the top. Leave anything out and I’ll give you something to cry about.” 

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

Path to Totality

Fandom: Baldur’s Gate 3 Characters: Dame Aylin, Shar, Selûne, minor Aylin/Isobel Length: ~2000 words Rating: T, for canon-typical violence

Summary:

Dame Aylin has a goddess aunt as well as a divine mother - and what one calls her own, the other lays equal claim to. A look at the fraught relationship between the Nightsinger and her Nightsong through the centuries.

Also on AO3.

This was my contribution to the @bg3womenswrongs fanzine, and I had a lot of fun writing it, mulling over some staple Shar horribleness and Aylin's stubborn, bright defiance to it.

You can still get your copy of the full zine by reaching out to the mod team - which I wholeheartedly recommend, because it turned out great! You'll also be able to read this fic with @teelahselai's lovely spot art included. The zine will be made freely available on March 8th.

—

Path to Totality

The Nightsinger becomes an aunt on a day that would have otherwise swiftly faded into the sheer vastness of her existence.

It is par for the course for her vapid sister; this insistence on life and creation, this blemish she sears into the world. Selûne's lurid intrusions writ small, contained to a single being. The puny scale is pitiable, when before her efforts resulted in teeming swarms and the cacophony of an entire universe under the burning sun she lit. Shar takes offence just the same, and so it will be snuffed out just the same.

A babe, conspicuously placed at the temple's entrance in a basket - not even a thing ostentatious and silver. No; plain wicker, with plainer wrappings to keep it warm against the autumn chill.

At the first cry that tears itself free from its garishly powerful lungs, as the wail goes on and on even as some poor moon-bedecked acolyte rushes out to fawn over the detestable little creature, Shar knows her one desire is to silence it forever.

-

The temple in whose care she was placed is put to the torch by ill-omened purple-clad figures before Aylin learns to walk. Enclave to enclave in secret, from temple to monastery to cloister, Aylin grows up hunted, a blazing target for agents of her Mother's greatest enemy.

She grows up honed to perfection, trained and taught and sharpened to an edge so keen it threatens to cut even when she might not mean it to. 

But she also grows up loved. Even if her Mother is a distant lodestar, She is present in ways Aylin does not think anyone understands, no matter how much she tries to explain, how deft with words she becomes in her efforts to convey the peculiarities of her own existence.

-

Selûne calls her handiwork daughter and whispers cloying lies to her as she sleeps. Fawns over her, dotes on her, lavishes her with gifts, pays all lip service possible to the futile illusion named love.

Shar's niece grows up a spoiled brat, indulging in everything life has to offer.

And then, in the blink of an eye, the wailing babe has become a monster; invasive and aggressive, a perfect picture of her creator. For a little while - insignificant, in the grand scheme of things - the brute foils Shar's plans with great insistence and vulgar, stomping relish.

-

The joy of dismantling a well-hidden Sharran conspiracy; the satisfaction of sheer righteousness coupled with the ever-rousing rush of battle - there are few things as intoxicating.

One of the acolytes accompanying Aylin in her assault on the cloister approaches, ornate scroll in hand. Aylin glances over to where her fellows are ransacking a collection of Sharran texts and accepts the proffered scroll.

Tenets of the Enduring Night: A Caution

Let all who seek to lose themselves in the Nightsinger's eternal embrace heed this warning: there is no reward for work left undone. And no lone servant of the despicable moon has cut short as many worthy efforts as the Moon Daughter herself. A creature violent and merciless--

She lets her eyes slide off the rest of the overly-decorated drivel and crumples the parchment in one gauntleted fist, raising it above her head, grinning. "How right they are, to fear Dame Aylin." 

Amidst answering jeers and cheers from her comrades, Aylin cries out: "Hark, Nightsinger! Accept this most personal offering!"

She calls holy fire into her hand and watches as her grip fills with ash.

-

Her plans are on a scale unfathomably larger than her sister's decision to produce gaudy progeny. Yet Shar returns her gaze to the insufferable wretch, again and again, even while plotting to twist the very Weave to her own ends, to corrupt or obliterate Selûne's staunchest support.

So Shar watches as one of her faithful finally strikes her niece down. It takes a dozen trained assassins catching her unawares, unarmoured. But even barely out of squirehood she is as resilient and strong as an ox, and shrugs off a good number of blows.

A slit neck, however, is difficult to ignore, even for her. And so she gargles her final little ditty and falls to her knees, hands clawing not at her gushing wound but at the nearest assailant as if she wants to take them down with her. Then she collapses into a silent, dead heap at their feet.

A disappointing showing, in the end. Shar has learned how much creating this one cost her sister - she keeps giving of herself, dividing among her allies, basking in her own shameful weakness.

But then, bathing the alleyway in a rancid glare, as the few surviving adepts gape in fear and begin to scuttle away, useless failures all, the godspawn rises.

-

When Aylin awakens from her first death, as she struggles to breathe with flooded lungs and feels her briefly stilled heart bursting into a flurry of activity to pump life through veins once more, a woman stands calmly before her.

Dizzy, Aylin clambers to her feet, gulping air greedily through a newly gold-knit throat.

Her assailants are dead - but though she gave a good account of herself, not all of them died by her hand. The woman steps through the smoking shadow-laced ruin of the assassin who succeeded, and Aylin knows who this is as surely as she knows her own Mother.

"Have I thwarted one too many of your plots, Lady of Loss?" There is no fear lancing through her as the woman looms over her, no - this is all the thrill of a battlefield distilled into a single, fateful encounter. Aylin would make of herself a liar if she denied yearning for this: a chance to face the true architect of much of her existence. She squares her shoulders, grins, and taunts through bloodied teeth. "Go on then, strike me down. Even you will find it a futile exercise."

"You will die when I will it," Shar speaks, voice absent all inflection. "But die you will."

Aylin scoffs, spits at her feet. "I have accepted my duty as my holy Mother's sword. Her blessing, by my birthright, lies upon me. You and yours will never snuff me out. As surely as the Moon returns to the sky--"

"You will die," Shar repeats, as if Aylin hadn't even spoken, "but first I will take from you and take and take, until nothing is left. Until, having lost all, you finally approach my perfection, my void. This, my kin, is your birthright as well."

Then, in a swirl of dancing shadows, she is gone.

-

Her niece finds a mortal to fawn over; an insipid little moon cleric.

And throughout it all she is as a loudly buzzing fly, entangling herself in webs she cannot even comprehend.

-

She is adored, or she is reviled. Aylin has yet to inspire indifference. 

Hunted, from the moment she drew her first breath on Faerûn. Smuggled amongst her Mother's faithful, concealed as a Sharran hiding from the world  - she thinks it shameful, now. Endangering those who only sought to give their anointed protector a chance to grow into her own strength, to protect in return.

She is an emissary of light, but her whole life her baleful aunt has made her a herald of woe, as well.

Fitting, then, if unbearably bitter, that Reithwin was ultimately the same. Where, instead of merely passing through, unmoored and unshackled, Aylin once dared to think she might be afforded something like home, a morsel of a life, a moment of peace.

With Isobel.

Without her, a grim blanket of mourning has draped itself across the town and its surroundings. Even Selûne's light seems muted and distant - and so all manner of dark creatures have decided to crawl out of the woodwork.

Like this one: an assassin, pouncing upon Aylin on an ill-lit forest road. Burying a scimitar in her shoulder and sending her sword flying.

"You seek to test me?" Aylin wheels around to face the man. He is dressed to remain unseen, but with hints of telltale purple. "Reconsider."

"The Moonbitch's chokehold on this place is finally weakening," her would-be challenger cackles. All sense is gone from him, gorged far too thoroughly on what his ilk so reverently term loss.

Her arm shoots out before she has even thought to command it to. A gauntlet seizes the man around the throat, grip merciless and unshakeable. He chokes as he is lifted to the very tips of his toes - still not high enough to face her eye to eye. In her long life, Aylin has found Sharrans never quite managed to.

"Her will is made manifest through me," Aylin growls, hold tightening until the man gargles audibly. "I have urged you to reconsider. Now I urge you to make whatever peace you wish with your lady."

She knows Shar's ways, how she lures the unsuspecting, the weakened, and the lonely in with her siren song. Shar will not help you carry your burdens, no; she will make you forget they ever existed, and would that not be such a relief?

Aylin does not forget; the utter infallibility of her memory stands against everything Shar represents. It is the haven where Isobel now resides.

The Sharrans are misguided, and targets of her pity - until they are not. And the line, in recent times, has crawled so very close to not to start with.

When one assassin becomes three, Aylin's prayer is the same as a hundred times before.

Guide my hand, to guide your blade to victory. Guide me to my foes, to guide them to their deserved doom.

Then, a more recent thought; one just barely suppressed so that duty could be allowed to take precedence: Guide her back to me, Mother.

The answer is not new; a mournful sigh, fresh grief mingled with ancient woes. She is lost to us, daughter.

But Aylin replies, even as she spills blood or feels hers spilt. For her entire being chafes sorely at the invocation of loss, at the injustice of this being her lot.

Find her. I beg you.

-

No army, no conquest, no devotion or offering Ketheric Thorm makes is as sweet as this one: her sister's brutish champion, brought to kneel at last. Safely ensconced in the heart of Shar's realm.

When from her pool of silvery blood the hateful creature whimpers for her mother, only to be met with nothing but the perfect silence of her perfect domain, Shar knows her victory is at hand.

"Why not call to me, my kin, when your poor mother cannot hear?" She taunts, letting her shadows caper at the edges of the cage. "Do you not know? Whatever Selûne calls her own, I lay equal claim to. It is time you sang for me. In return, perhaps, your own burdens--"

"Never," the Nightsong rages in vain, as is her wont, chin jutting proudly, her rag-clad arrogance driving her to speak over a goddess.

Shar has not killed her niece just yet. But she has made her hers, and that, perhaps, is the greater triumph.

-

Though it takes a century, she is found.

-

Aylin revels in bonds undone, in love regained, in glory restored.

Through a haze of joy and triumph tinged with such bittersweet ache, Aylin knows: as surely as the Moon returns in the sky…

…it is only a matter of time.

Even with the blows struck against her - her choice of a Chosen denied, her curse undone - it will not take long for the Nightsinger to make herself heard once more.

Aylin is a proud beacon against the encroaching night. But she has perhaps felt too keenly the reality of wading through the darkness in order to spare others its bite.

When she sees Shadowheart - fresh from her fateful battle, her promised resolution, with questions brimming in her eyes under newly-silvered hair - she feels the fist of familiarity tighten around her heart.

"Come," Aylin beckons. "You are not the only one whose life she has made a battlefield."

[olenvasynyt]

A Court of Embers and Sunlight: A Lucien backstory fic

Chapter 14: Rage, Rumors, and Regret

Fic Summary:

It has been eighty years since the end of the Human War, and a delicate, tenuous peace has grown in Prythian. But as an ancient rivalry between two High families suddenly arises, the consequences of the War are pondered, and painful memories are stirred up for members of the Vanserra family, including Eris Vanserra and the Lady of Autumn. But being sixty and the youngest of seven brothers, Lucien Vanserra is eager to avoid a lot of things. Including the consequences of the War. Haunted by secrets and keen to avoid the Forest House, Lucien allows his errancy to lead him to Prythian’s Summer beaches, Winter lakes, and Spring fields until he finds himself stumbling down a path to a female he never expected. One who lights up his dark, rotting world like dappled sunlight through the leaves.

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Excerpt:

Eris sat in his private chambers in the middle of the night with a notebook abandoned in his lap.   The spine was broken, the pages lay facedown and crumbled against his knee.  He stared blankly ahead with his arms crossed, the flickering ambiance of the fireplace doing nothing to lull him to sleep.  

He wanted to scream or cry or do something besides just sit and wait for fate to roll over him.  For the pain and frustration to finally subside.  He wanted to breathe freely for once in his Cauldron-damned life without that weight pressing down on his chest.  

But Ensel’s newly established presence in the Forest House only pushed down harder.

The flickering light rippled across the stone walls and the paintings that decorated them.  A painting of an old god hung above his mantle, the fire casting dark shadows across the canvas.  A female god some lesser fae worshipped, who called herself the Pain-Maiden.  She knelt before a slab of stone, her mouth open in horrible wail and her nails digging into her pockmarked face.  Her black pupils consumed the entirety of her eyes, which felt like they were drilling a hole into Eris’ head.

He closed his eyes to shut out the wailing portrait, watching the colors of the fire burn through his eyelids.

He wanted to say he forgot how beautiful he was, but it was impossible to forget.  It was impossible to forget that face, that smile, those dark brown eyes… gods , his eyes.  They were unbelievably striking.  Eris always felt ashamed of himself when he thought of it, but they reminded him of Hel.  Hel’s ground would be darkened loam and moss-covered stone, and Ensel’s eyes shared the same color.  The mix of brown and gold with hints of grey…it was otherworldly, but yet so familiar at the same time.  Something terrifying and comforting.

When Eris died, he would feel at home on Hel’s cold ground.  A cold embrace of an unrequited lover.

The flickering flames suddenly brought tears to Eris’ eyes.  He shifted in his chair and lowered his head, easing his heart to still for what felt like the millionth time today.

“I would have forgiven you.  But now…now I hope it haunts you to your grave.  I hope it’s ash you’re fucking buried in.”  

That voice whispered to him from the corners of his mind, but he shoved it away.  No.  He will not beg for forgiveness.  Why should he?  The half-human knew what he was fighting for.  It was why he fought beside him, after all.  And they always knew how dangerous Ensel’s bargain was, even before they fell apart.