#whining under the cut

[ganonfan1995]

I know I'm like probably just in a creative slump right now -- like a bad one...But man I've completely lost any interest in doing LoZ art and it's kinda bumming me out.

Looking back at 2020 + 2021, like I was having so much fun!! I miss that so bad...but now it's just, I dunno...ToTK didn't feel genuine to me in the way that the rest of the series did. (Even SS, felt like it had more heart to it...More character??)

I started an AU wanting to write a fix-it fic, and the more I sit with it, the less engaged I become with it. Like I can do all this work, I can write all these characters, fix all the plot-holes, but at the core there's still this story that just...rubbed me the wrong way and left me feeling disappointed.

And it's not that I didn't consider that ToTK didn't have a chance of being a stinker either, I did. It was the fact that my expectations were in the fucking dirt, but they really had me going in the first quarter!! Booboo the fool I was, thought there'd be an act 2 where you rescue Zelda and then a major plot twist ensued and you'd discover something crucial to the curse plaguing the land!??!

I'm trying to move on and be an adult about this, but like the way that this series has been my special interest for my whole life, I was really hyped to get back on that LoZ train!! Yet...euuuughhhh

I've been holding back making too many bummer posts about it, but every now and then I think about the series, and the feelings of disappointment resurfaces.

[puschelinchen]

honestly, nevermind. if I'm that boring and shitty to be around, fine. I guess. I just give up. I won't try anymore

[charismaticalpaca]

i caught a cold on the plane home and have been sick for A Week now and am so ready not to BE SICK ANYMORE

this entire evening turned into headache management im (grump grump grump grump)

[fallinglief]

nothing like having some jackasses smoking weed in my house to convince me I want nothing to do with it. :)

I genuinely don’t dislike ppl who do drugs in general it’s whatever rly, but this shit weed smells SO FUCKING BAD and it’s permeating the whole damn house

my lungs already aint built great to begin with, and they are BURNING from this shit, plus I’m getting a damn headache from the stench

Like just fuck ooooooffffffffffffff I’m so tired of feeling like this isn’t even my home bc two grown ass adults can’t give a shit about anyone that isn’t them🤮 

[youngpettyqueen]

another headcanon that I think is basically canon is Julian will bitch and moan and complain to the high heavens over the most minor of injuries but when it comes to major injuries he'll keep on going without a word until he straight up collapses

[autistichalsin]

My family is so exhausting sometimes. I love them. But they are the most exhausting group of people you will ever meet. None of them have any chill, and 9/10 times it's on me to be the peacemaker (to the extent that I am usually the only person in my family on speaking terms with everyone else in my family). This time I just do not feel like it so I'm watching them go at each other in the family group text over literally nothing.

[piplupod]

nightmares nightmares nightmares every goddamn night. im tired.

even crueler was this one I was about to get away from the family, i was packing my bag, i was going to be free after a terrible terrible dinner with them where they'd been so angry at me like usual because I'd spoken things that didnt match their opinions (flew directly in the face of their opinions, but only out of genuine worry for them because I cannot help but care about them, they're family, they've had good moments towards me, I've grown up with them, it is nigh impossible to let all that go and not care about them) and I decided to leave, it wasn't safe anymore, I'd spoken too out of turn, but i was going to be free of them. but i woke up just as I was walking out the door, my nightmares and dreams can't even let me have a taste of that freedom, it's too painful and close to hope i guess. incredibly cruel!

[12percentspider]

i didn't sleep decent because pain and blood sugar issues and now something said there was an issue with payment type and i really really really don't want to have to call the debit card company tomorrow so i panicked and left a message to the bank telling them i did that and i know about it and it's fine but idk how much they can do about that

and i remembered that i'm an idiot because i had glucose tablets AT WORK in the first aid area and i could have gotten that last night instead of trying to fuck around with a snack

but i don't know why i've been having lower blood sugar issues suddenly so that's weird and i've had almost no appetite at all recently so that's also weird as hell

i get that there's worse things going on for a lot of people but i just need like... to not feel like crap and to not have to deal with bullshit? it's already bad enough that my work shoes finally wore through but i am just wore out and i really really don't want to have to get my pain checked out i want it to just go away

[handern]

so fucking pissed and I don't know who to turn to about it and idk how to make it go away

colleagues are absolutely incompetent and keep squirming around like inefficient assholes

one of them wasn't there for all of July and at a meeting when out boss asked how the workload was in july was she was like 'oh it's so invigorating when there's lots of people isn't it!' I want her dead so bad she takes full hours of breaks and disappears as soon as we need help

she's supposed to be in charge of something with a guy who never does ANYTHING and that man dared to complain that something went wrong w what they're in charge of while she was gone for a month like SIR YOU LET THAT THING ROT OF COURSE IT WENT WRONG and I'm double pissed about it bc it didn't go as wrong as it should have bc I was preventing it from falling apart completely but neither of them acknowledged it at all calling us all lazy and useless in the meeting like die die die die die

another one keeps gossiping like hell under the guise of being soooo nice and polite and cute and empathetic and friendly, she just learned something super personal about someone else and immediately repeated it to me making it about herself I want her dead so bad she keeps going to people telling them "did you know X said so and so about you" like girl this isn't a fucking playground we're colleagues we're not friends we're allowed to not go along and complain

and now I hear the rumor is that someone else than me might be "first choice" to get a long term contract w this place and it's making my blood boil not bc he wouldn't deserve it but bc I know it's only a rumor and I'm supposed to be the first choice so it either means our supervisors are lying to me or that nobody in this fucking place realizes that I work well and that I'm over qualified for this shit which, genuinely, I'm fed up of being overlooked by my colleagues

but the worst of the worst is still completing ten whole missions and being told that the guy who completed one whole mission since February and had to have it done by 4 different people bc he wasn't able to write down one letter and one number on some cards on his own, is n°2 on the list

which isn't true either but SMH everyone falls for his act of being overworked and super efficient and he's getting rewarded by our superiors who KNOW he doesn't fo shit, they're going to pay him like 30 hours of overtime he CAN'T justify since he had only one mission to do and missed his FOURTH deadline for the completion of it

and that's only scratching the surface of the bullshit happening here

and I GUESS it's on me for working too hard, which, by the way, I don't, I'm exactly at my personal limit between "overworked" and "so underworked my brain is eating itself" but the thing is, I had SOME hope that people would at least notice that I work well instead of praising these jackasses out there like MAYBE it's on me for being a naive idiot and wanting at least recognition for my fucking work

if it wasn't for the promise of a long term contract I would let them all rot and explode this place too

[riverdeities]

i just looove it when i get chronic stress-induced nightmares in which my family dies in horribly painful ways and i get to watch 😍😍 i especially love it when my mother is portrayed as some kind of villain in them and after her death i'm left to live with my piece of shit grandmother! they definitely don't stick with me for days and don't make me even more depressed at all

[emeraldcreeper]

Soemday I’ll read a book where the characters don’t grate against my brain for 200 pages too long and I’ll like a book again holy shit the last two books I read part of were total garbage fiction

[inkys-trash-pile]

Ugh, I’m in the middle of changing medications- so I’m at that point where the old is almost out of my system completely but I haven’t started anything new cause the psychiatrist wants it to be gone completely first. And I forgot how much heavy lifting the one I’m going off of was doing as far as depression.

And I’m just frustrated and upset cause my brain is doing weird stuff and I feel awful, and I haven’t been off my meds in so long I forgot how to deal with all of this.

I keep finding docs where I started a fic and just stopped, and I can’t remember where I was going with any of them. I’ve got several multi-chapter fics I haven’t finished and I know what I want to do with them but I can’t make myself work on them. I’ve done a ton of writing over the past few days and I know I *should* be proud of myself but my brain is still doing the garbage bullshit where it’s like “no one’s saying anything about it they don’t give a shit just give up.” And I know that’s not accurate but I just can’t get up out of it.

It doesn’t help that in the middle of all of this, literally *everything* to do with my job just took a nose dive. It’s all chaos and I’m tired and I’m sick of being tired.

[shatterthefragments]

FUCK.

Since returning to work (I mean. Barely. I left early and super early today) I am declining again :(

Part of it is that I couldn’t sleep last night but FUCK. IM FUCKING SICK OF BEING SICK AND TIRED. ITS BEEN NEARLY A MONTH. I START SCHOOL AGAIN NEXT WEEK. I DONT WANT TO RESCHEDULE MY TATTOO APPOINTMENT AGAIN.

And I just have to do like. One last few little lines for my forms and then scan/photograph and submit them and hopefully I’ll be paid for those days bc it’s within the deadline

(Also getting a notification that my laptop warranty ends soon is terrifying bc I’m scared it will die. Even though it’s literally fine as long as I put a yearbook or something under it when it’s on my bed.)

I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to decline. I should’ve just asked for more time and said I was only okay to do sedentary duties instead of light and taken another week just to focus on ensuring I get all my vitamins and everything 😭

Also I haven’t weighed myself or anything but part of me is like “ooh did I lose weight since I’ve been sick a month” even though it wasn’t quite at the severity as last year I definitely. The amount I’m eating should have… FUCK.

And then it’s like. Last year I figured I would’ve only lost muscle but the sister says her scale picked up that I had a higher percentage of muscle. But I don’t weigh myself consistently bc I tend to ride the line of coming close to not eating even harder when I do. And I know I can’t do that it’s not good and isn’t good for my body to do that. I know. Part of me still wants that anyway. But I keep myself busy enough that I HAVE to fuel my body anyway.

I do tend to eat more vegetables if I can too. I want to make coconut creamed lentil veggie soup this week if I have the energy.

I’m excited for this because I love blended lentil soup on the boat :)

[agentstarkid]

.

I've been having a fucked up week at my job, my hours were changed, so essencially, now I wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, come back from work, eat dinner, go to bed and repeat. From 8 hours, now I work 9 (technically)—I actually work 10 to 12 hours but being paid for 8. And now I have to work on Sundays from 5am to 3pm because "that's the business and sometimes we have to make sacrifices" (like my mental health i.e.). And all of this while being underpaid and not paid for extra hours. Plus now the company's higher ups are dissecting my area's work and questioning every single thing as if what we do is fool around on work hours—sometimes we don't even have time to eat lunch or go to the bathroom with all the things we have to do.

And I'm reaching my fucking limits here. I've been having more anxiety/panick attacks in the last month than my whole life.

Yesterday I was feeling so so bad, but I pushed through and finished my work hours. I was asked to hang out by a friend because it was the last time in a while that she was gonna be able to because she is gonna go through radiotherapy in a few days, and I couldn't make it because my boss thought that it was okay to start working at 7:39 pm and asking for things 21 minutes before my departure time.

I just wanted to come home and cry—I did cry at my job though. I wanted to just talk to my mom, for her to tell me that it's gonna be okay and to just let me cry.

I did cry in front of her what I heard was that I have suck it up, that she went and goes through worse everyday, that her day was worst than mine and lots of other things.

It's been almost 12 hours since I've gotten home last night, in 1h I have to go to work again and I can't stop crying. I can't look at anyone in the face or have anyone say anything to me because I instantly start fucking crying.

So, what did I learn so far is:

1. How not to be as a boss.

2. My problems will always mean nothing compared to my parents.

3. I should stop expecting comprehension and affirmation that what I'm feeling it's valid.

4. To treat people with dignity and kindness.

—

Off topic, but I totally understand Carmen Berzatto from The Bear, when he sees the the stove go up in flames and all he's thinking is that, if he lets it to consume everything, to burn the whole place down, it would consume and take with it all his anxiety-ridden thoughts, his doubts and problems. Everything would be gone. And I think about that a lot when I'm driving. What if I swerve the wheel a little bit? What if I get too close to the edge of this bridge? What if, what if, what if...

[gen-is-gone]

Why aren't cuts working??

[yeyinde]

size kink!King Simon Riley x virgin!reader.

Simon's never fucked a virgin before. never had an appetite for them, really. the type he prefers are easy prey. the ones who'll let him rut his fat cock into them until he cums, who always marvel at how big he is. everywhere. who wimper through the stretch, brows pinched tight and fists balled up, but can't fight the victory in their eyes when they reach the bottom, taking him to the root. proud, then, that they conquered this particular beast. he's fine with what he has. really—

but then he finds you. and it's over when your little fawn eyes fall on him, bringing this massive beast to his knees.

the only problem is. he's too big. much too big for you.

he can't fuck you properly so he pushes his cock against your slit, squeezes your thighs tight together, and ruts you like this. a pale imitation of the real thing, of course. but he gets off on how small you look under him, how he pushes out from between your thighs with each stroke, leaking precum all over your belly. marking you.

sex with you is him breaking your pussy in on his thick, rough fingers. one has you wincing, teeth clenched tight. like you've never been touched before. fuck. sweet as pie, aren't you? then two. a tight fit, but he makes it work. suckles on your clit until you gush around him, pussy knotting up around his knuckles like a vice. three is evidently more than you can handle. you howl into the sheets as he forces another finger inside, tongue laving over the stretched skin of your cunt. makes it up to you by wringing out several orgasms with his fingers pressed inside of your cunt, his tongue glued to your clit. his jaw, chin, and neck are drenched, and he basks in tang of you while you wimper against his chest, little sniffles dying out as he cuts his big palm over your pussy, holding you like that. owned. claimed. (almost) all his.

when he isn't fingering you, or spreading you over the sheets, thighs stretched wide over his shoulders as he buries his face into your sweet, sweet pussy, he likes to tap the head of his cock against your slit, admiring the sheer vastitude of your differing sizes. his cock slides between your thighs in a way that it almost garish to look at. awful. strokes his cock the sight of it as he makes you suck on his fingers, and play with your nipples. cums all over your chest, your face. makes you cum all over his, too. it's only fair, after all.

or it's just the tip—literally—because that's the most he can push inside of you before you're whining his name, little fists pounding his chest, pushing him back, trying to get this battering ram out of your sore, stuffed pussy. so he settles for working you open on three fingers, his tongue. loosening you up as much as he can before pushing the head of his fat cock inside of you until you start whimpering out his name. too much, too much, too much—

and then he leans back on his haunches to watch as your hands stroke along his shaft, letting just the head of his cock shallowly fuck into you, stretching your cunt out around him. it's obscene. lewd. he thinks he can smell brimstone clogging his nose, flaming licking his skin, with each inch he forces you to take. gets off on the sight alone, of him greedily giving you another inch. and then another. another. can already see the bulge in your belly. the heavy outline of his thick cock splitting you apart.

he cums inside of you like this. just the tip, fuckin' hell. cumming in your pussy as you masterbate his cock and whine at the too full, overstuffed feeling of him filling you up.

he can't help but to imagine what it would be like when you finally give in, when he pushes the full length of himself into you, splitting you apart around his considerable girth—

feels his cock pulse in response, spitting more spend out into your drenched cunt, plugged up nice and tight around him.

Simon knows you were made for him (and him alone). it's just that some toys need to be broken in before you can play with them. he'll see to it that you're broken in just right.