#while the Outsider is just walking around and monologuing to you upstairs is very funny to me

[folkdevilism]

Since it's been long enough, I felt like reminding everyone of the City Watch Officer that was out there chilling in the Void along with the Outsider.

[babybirdgyeom]

feelings? → jinyoung

word count: 1.9 k

summary: as you tried to get yours and jinyoung’s relationship to the next level you decided some alcohol and a bit braveness would be the perfect mixture.

a/n: fluffy! also there’s alcohol but not too much. they won’t get really drunk or something.

you and jinyoung were definitely something. something very good and very enjoyable but something unlabeled. when you first met him you liked him immediately and both of you tried to stay in contact all the time. his charisma got you from the very beginning and it just clicked between the two of you.

you were both taking no shit from anyone and your quick-witted conversations were always a lot of fun, so it really didn’t take along time for you to catch some serious feelings for him. and so did he, at least that’s what it feels like.

the other boys pretty much teased you from the beginning because of the tension between you and him. looking back at it it probably was very obvious that the two of you, at some point, would become more than friends.

and you did. you and jinyoung were more than friends now but still less than a couple. it started with some soft skinship in the summer and before the autumn came you found yourself in his bed, his lips on yours, making memories you’d never forget. and now you and jinyoung were kind of stuck. not moving backwards but also not moving forward. acting like a couple but not actually being one.

it was around 6 p.m. and you were standing outside of the dorm of the boys, waiting for someone to open. you and yugyeom made a plan, trying to finally make jinyoung talk about his feelings. you weren’t sure if you’d get jinyoung to actually tell you what he thinks about the situation between you by yourself since you tried several times but failed. you know it wasn’t because he didn’t care about you, he simply wasn’t a friend of big words and confessions. everytime you’d try to talk about the elephant in the room he’d somehow managed to dodge the conversation.

yugyeom came downstairs to open up the door for you. jinyoung knew you’d come over but he didn’t know that you had several bottles of alcohol with you. even though you weren’t really in the mood to get drunk you knew that the other boys probably were, hoping jinyoung would also drink a bit.

“yugyeom, we’ll probably fail so hard.”, you gave him an unsure glance, “i don’t think jinyoung will suddenly tell me how much he loves me just because he had two glasses of vodka.”

“i actually told him earlier that you’re coming over later and he gave me a warning glance and asked why you and i made plans without the other ones.”, yugyeom tried to convince you that his plan was definitely gonna work.

when you arrived upstairs all the boys were gathered in the living room around the table. you said your hellos to them and jinyoung told you to sit beside him. sometimes he gave you a kiss when seeing you and sometimes he didn’t. today was one of the days where he didn’t. he usually wasn’t showing as much affection when the boys are around as he does when you were alone, which of course was totally fine. 

when you sat down he looked at your face for a second, almost as if he was examining it, his eyes almost were glued to your face for a few seconds. “is everything okay?”, you laughed, wondering what he was being strange for.

“yeah, everything’s fine.”, he said and laid his head back a bit, smiling, “i thought you have a date with yugyeom?”, he looked back at you with a teasing smile.

even though he wasn’t jealous at all he still felt the need to address it.  you decided not to answer anything because you didn’t want to give him satisfaction by saying that you of course were not having a date with yugyeom but also didn’t want to lie to him and say that you have, making him jealous wouldn’t work anyways and you knew that.

“guys, i actually have plans for tonight.”, you said getting out the bottles of your bag to which the boys responded with cheers.

you shyly looked over to jinyoung to see his reaction and found a cheeky grin on his face.

a few hours later some of the boys definitely had too much. you on the other hand were almost still sober. the atmosphere was relaxed and funny, the eight of you talking and discussing loudly with each other, music playing in the background, the lights were dimmed and it was dark outside. 

the evening was filled with laughter and friendship but it still didn’t go as you wanted it to. you were still sitting beside jinyoung,  his arms around you meanwhile and you both know you’d end up in the same bed tonight but he was almost as sober as you and you knew that you’d talk about everything tonight but your relationship.

yugyeom and you were secretely texting each other every now and then and he said he’d try to convince the boys to go out clubbing so you have the dorm to you for few hours and could try to have the serious talk you needed.

when he suggested the plan to the boys they were all in immediately. “what about you two?”, jackson asked you and jinyoung.

“nah, you can go. i’ll stay.”, you answered, “i don’t know about you though jinyoung, are you going?”, you asked him hoping he’d stay with you.

he gave you a confused look, “no, I’ll deffo stay with you. what kind of question.”

the boys slowly got up and ready to leave, asking you a few times more if you wouldn’t want to join. while jinyoung stayed in the living room when they were about to leave the dorm yugyeom gave you a sign to bring them to the door.

“please”, he said in a whispering voice, even though there would be no way for jinyoung to hear him over the other drunk boys screaming, “if he doesn’t talk then make him. it’s about time.”, you knew he was right. 

the boys left and you made your way back to the living room, finding jinyoung filling up your glasses with another round of vodka.

“you wanna continue to drink?”, you asked surprised. usually you wouldn’t have thought that jinyoung just would get drunk with you alone.

he let out a small laugh, “yes. and you’ll have no choice than to join me.”, when you sat down beside him he handed you over the glass, you smelled it and realized that jinyoung made it stronger than it probably was good for you.

you clinked your glasses and both take a big sip. a few seconds later jinyoung came near you to kiss you. it was a rather intense one, him holding your face in his hands and not wanting to let go.

“oh, to what do I owe the pleasure?”, you asked smiling brightly at him. 

“i just hate that i can’t kiss you in front of the boys.”, he said, “i wanted to kiss you the whole night.”

“the whole night? you are very good at not showing your wantings then.”, you teased him which made him grin. yours and jinyoung conversation were usually always filled with a flirty undertone.

“but what do you mean you can’t kiss me in front of the boys?”, you asked confused, “it’s not like they never saw us kissing before or don’t know that we have fling.”

jinyoung bend his head a bit at your statement, “fling? is that what this is for you?”

this left you a bit speechless. you of course didn’t consider this whole thing between you and jinyoung being something only sexual but you never were sure what to call it. you just sat there, your mouth a bit open, not knowing what to answer. for a few seconds the only noise in the room was the music jinyoung turned on before.

“do you really wanna talk about this right now?”, you said, taking a big sip from your drink.

jinyoung was having a shy smile on his lips and shrugged his shoulders, “you know i’m bad in talking about stuff like this but i know you really want to talk about it so let’s just get this over with and finally find out how we are going to continue.”

you took a deep breath and felt a bit of angst coming up in you. you do wanted this but you felt how nervous you actually were. when jinyoung, who was still sitting on the couch, right next to you, noticed he gave you a small kiss. put his hands on your waist and made you sit on his lap, so that you could face each other. he took your hands in his, playing with them. 

“see, (y/n), i don’t really know what to say. i generally like you.”, you could see in his eyes that he was trying his best to find the right words, “i like the way you talk and the way you walk and i hate it when you leave. when i say i like you i just don’t know how to say it otherwise. i hope you understand what i mean. i’m not the best in expressing how i feel, i just like you more than i like anyone else okay?”

you wanted to say something to it but you remained silent for a second, studying his expressions in his face and eyes. you gave him a small kiss to calm him down but before you could answer his monologue he gave you another one.

“you know how i am so i don’t think you expect a very emotional and romantic confession but i really am trying to give you exactly that. i’m trying to find the right words but i fail at it and i don’t want to consider this a confession because you deserve a better one.”

“shush.”, you finally said, “jinyoung, that was more than i even expected. it’s more than enough. i just really don’t like that we’re stuck in the same phase since weeks or months. in the end all i want to know if you want us to become something more serious or not?”

“i definitely want this to be serious. for me it already was serious like even if we had no official label for me it was sure that we’d become a couple sooner or later.”

a small smile grew on your face, “a couple, hm? i like the sound of that. i could get used to it.”

“oh you better get used to it.”, jinyoung said giving you one of the looks he usually gave you when he was happy. he once again hold your waist and repositioned you, lying on top of you on the couch, covering your face with kisses.

“i didn’t know you could be this cute.”, you said laughing. usually jinyoung showed his affection by cuddles and kisses but always stayed serious while doing it. seeing him so playful was completely new to you. 

“don’t get used to that though, tomorrow i’ll be the cool guy again.”

“yeah, cool. of course.”, you answered.

“don’t be rude and make me break up with you again.”, he said and throw you over his shoulders, carrying you to the bedroom.

[back-home-ballers]

How I Won SNL Tickets: info + tips

I promise this’ll be the last post I make about my SNL experience for those who are sick of hearing about it, but I’ve been working on this since Sunday and I wanted to address a few questions and give a few tips for the show + meeting the cast after (I know a lot of what I’m going to touch on are things I was curious about prior to, and after winning as well)

PART 1 (HOW I WON) - Okay so I sent an email for the April biggest fan contest maybe a day after they tweeted about it from SNL’s official twitter. They’ve been doing these contests every month since February I think, so I’d be on the lookout for a May contest in the near future. In terms of what to put in the email, I honestly could not tell you what they’re looking for, or how closely they read the emails. I know some people have sent serious emails and won, and others have sent funny emails and won. I personally sent a “funny” email with a few serious notes. So I sent that in mid/late March & I received an email on the morning of April 6th that I’d won tickets for the April 15th show (9 days notice). You have to email them back within 24 hours to confirm your tickets & it’s apparently hit or miss whether or not you receive confirmation of your confirmation. 

If you don’t win tickets through this contest, or the August lottery, you can always do standby. I have personally never done standby, so I cannot speak to that experience, but I know general information for that can be found on NBC’s website. For the show I went to, standby was insane because of Harry Styles, people had been lined up all week. However, I hear for most other shows, if you get there sometime on Friday before like, 6-7 pm you’ll be fine. Just know the significance of the host & musical guest, and remember stand-by does not guarantee you’ll get in. 

PART 2 (THE DAY OF THE SHOW & NYC) - I live in NY, but I go to school in the Midwest (moving back to NYC in the Fall, but that’s irrelevant) and we were on Easter break so getting a flight home wasn’t a big deal, and I had a place to stay. I know if you’re coming from far away & you win on short notice, NY is expensive so here’s a few mini-tips on that I guess: first, it’s usually cheaper to fly into LGA. I know that LGA is objectively the worst, but like, money. In terms of lodging, I might try to stay outside of Midtown and take public transit. Midtown is a money sucking hole, and I would avoid it for most of your trip (Although, if it’s your first time in NY or you really love touristy stuff, Midtown is a great place to explore). The entire city is super expensive so plan accordingly.

If you’re going to dress rehearsal, I know my letter said to check in BY 7 pm, but they let us upstairs at 6:15 pm. So when you get upstairs, MAKE SURE YOUR CELL PHONE IS OFF AND AWAY. There is absolutely no photography. There will be a page at the top of the stairs, and you tell them what line you’re in. There are two separate lines that I saw. From what I gathered, I think one line was people who know people, and one was contest or lottery winners. So you go up to a desk and show them your ID (it’s SO important that you bring a valid photo-ID with your date of birth on it) & your confirmation letter. Then they’ll give you a wristband, and an envelope with your tickets in it. The wristbands for dress rehearsal were either blue, or purple. There were very few purple wristbands, and everyone I saw with a purple wristband ended up in a floor seat.

After you get your tickets, you go through security, which is basically just a metal detector. They said no bags, so we didn’t even bring purses, but it looks like you’re allowed to have purses and just not backpacks. I wouldn’t risk it though if you think your purse might be too big. After security you go to the Peacock Lounge where another page looks at your envelope and directs you to either of the sides or the middle section. So this is going to sound kind of off but here’s what I observed about the sides: On one of the sides, you had the purple wristbands, and other generally good looking people. On another far side were people who seemed to know the NBC staff, and in the middle were the common folks. My friend and I were in the middle section. So you sit there awhile & they play music and there are big screens with pictures from sketches and it’s all cool and fun. 

When they started loading the audience, they called the purple wristbands first. Then they called by envelope number & letter or symbol. So the people on the good-looking side generally all left first, then people who seemed to know people all seemed to have stars on their envelopes and they went up next, and then they started calling plain numbers from the middle section. Our envelope number was 30, and I didn’t realize that we were literally the last number until they called up to 25 and it was only my friend & I plus these two guys were left in the little waiting area. So we joked with them about how we’re plebes, and blah blah blah so they eventually say “Everyone else in the Peacock Lounge may now make their way to the elevators”. So we got up, and got in line at the elevators, and I guess they started letting standby people into the waiting area because eventually they started lining up behind us. 

Once you get up in the elevators, everything is totally random. We got separated from our new friends in the studio, and despite being last, we ended up with good seats. We were on the center bend and we could see pretty much everything. They let in 30-40 girls from standby and most of them were way to the side in the kind of crappy seats where you can’t see the two main stages. A few standby people ended up in the center sections in seats that weren’t filled, and they were the last ones in.

PART 3 (THE SHOW ITSELF) - So the studio itself is a whole lot smaller than I imagined, and with the exception of that side section, most seats are incredible. The show starts with Che doing stand-up, and he was actually pretty funny. After that, Kenan, Kate, Vanessa, and Sasheer came out and did the cool song & dance thing warming up with the band, and then they set up for the cold open. I had a Trump cold-open, so it was cool to see Baldwin in his element. He seems to always be in the zone. So they do a countdown, and then the cold-open happens, and let me tell you, the rush between the cold-open and the monologue is real. They do the cold open in front of the main stage, as many of you know, so they have like a minute to get the whole set out, and it’s really something else to watch.

So they do the monologue, and I know for mine, they had dancers. So they swapped out everyone who was on the floor for the dancers, and then while the dancers were in the hallway, the people in floor seats had to literally run back. The people on the floor move a TON. So be prepared for that if you’re on the floor, especially in the front row.

They do sketches all over the studio, so at one point or another, one is going to be happening right under you where you can’t see it, and cameras can sometimes get in the way even when they’re directly in front of you. It’s all cool though, because there are TV screens you can watch on, or if you’re set on looking at the floor, it can sometimes be fun to sit and read the cue cards even if you can’t see the cast.

The musical guest performs twice for those of you who aren’t familiar with the set up of SNL, and with Harry Styles, the stand-by people were going insane. Staff yelled at them at least five times, and I know it’s exciting being in the studio, but it’s important to remember that it is a studio, and that people are working. So that’s just a little side bar there.

For Weekend Update they set up two big black things on either side of the set for the shot I assume, and during dress rehearsal Che & Jost told several different versions of the same joke to I assume see which one got the best reaction.

At the end of the show, as soon as goodbyes are over, they sort of rush you out so they can prepare for the live show (I don’t know how it is after live) Sometimes you can spot cast members in the hallway which is cool, I saw Colin & Bobby as I was walking out. You come out in the NBC store, so it literally feels like you just went on a Universal ride or something.

PART 4 (THE BARRICADE & MEETING THE CAST) - If you’re planning on trying to meet the cast afterwards, they come out under the 49th street marquee. If you’re planning on doing standby and your priority is meeting the cast, I would choose dress rehearsal tickets because they set up the barricades and people are out there before the live show gets out.

My friend and I started lurking outside around 10:40 pm and they set up the barricades around 12:40 am. Most people showed up around 11:30 pm. They set them up on the side closer to the street so stand around that side before they set them up. 

The cast members start coming out around 1:15 am usually from what I hear. I know Leslie came out at that time, and went straight to her car. Most of them came out between 1:30 am and 2:00 am.

I think my biggest tip if you’re going to do barricade is be respectful. Treat not only the cast with respect, but the people surrounding you. I think being respectful entails a lot of things, and for me the biggest things were people hopping the barricades. First of all, don’t do that. For one thing, when security tells you to move, you might not get whatever spot you originally had on the barricade back (and if you push your way back into it, then that’s like a double dick move) and second, the barricade is a physical boundary that is there for a reason. I know it sucks to be like penned in, and to feel like an inferior, but it’s ultimately to keep the cast, and everyone there safe.

My last two-cents on respect is I generally recommend asking before taking pictures, or videos, and always express gratitude. In terms of cast obligations, they are not required to take any pictures, or videos, or sign things, so don’t feel bad, or angry if they don’t stop or have to leave.

PART 5 (FINAL BITS & PIECES) - In terms of accommodations, NBC is great. My friend has trouble with stairs due to a disability, and as long as you correspond with them before the show, they’ll be able to make whatever you need happen. I know if you win the biggest fan contest on Twitter and you can’t make the show you win for, they’ve changed certain people’s dates. I don’t know how that works, but I know it has happened. In general, everyone at NBC is super helpful, and friendly, and they do everything in their power to make sure you have a great night.

So I hope this was helpful, and informative (I’ve been working on it since Sunday). If you have any other questions, feel free to shoot me a message. Otherwise, have an amazing morning/day/night/evening, and good luck with your SNL adventures!

[diedraechin]

I've always loved the way you write ur fic. Part of me did wish there was a liiiittle bit more monologuing on yuuri and Victor's feelings aside from skating - not too explicit but the same way you've been doing it. But looking at what you're saying about the next chapters it seems like it's just a matter of time for Victor, which I realised makes sense because feelings are developing. For yuuri though, if not in the fic, maybe a drabble for what and how much he feels for shouta would be nice...

So I don’t know if I delivered on the internal monologuing… like I said, I’m much more action oriented of a writer… so here’s some of that.  ;) This basically takes place immediately after Chapter 19.

When the cab pulled up to the house, Yuuri wasn’t even surprised to see Shouta waiting outside the gate, straddling his bike with Vicchan on his leash straining and wanting to bark at the car.  No, Yuuri wasn’t surprised, but his chest clenched a little at the sight.  If it was possible, Shouta always met him after he came back from a competition.

Yuuri climbed out of the back of the cab after Riku and went around to pull his suitcase out of the trunk, but Shouta was already there next to Alexei and was taking Yuuri’s large suitcase, leaving Yuuri with just his carry-on.  

“Okaeri.”  Shouta’s voice was quiet and Yuuri smiled and leaned into his shoulder for a minute before bending down and picking Vicchan up, tucking him close with one arm as he wiggled and squirmed and tried to lick his face.  With his free hand he grabbed his small carry-on and followed Alexei and Riku into their house.  

Alexei, as was the norm, just left his suitcase next to the door and headed into the kitchen to see if he could find something to eat.  Riku smiled at them and then went to follow her husband, reminding him that the fridge was practically empty, and that, no, prawn crackers did not constitute real food, and if he wanted something real to eat that they should make a trip to the store.

“Upstairs?”  Shouta asked, his hand still on Yuuri’s large suitcase.  

Yuuri just nodded and then turned to face the kitchen.  He unhooked Vicchan’s collar and put him down.  “I bet Lyosha wants a hello too.”  And Vicchan rushed off, bounding toward Alexei and no doubt treats because his coach spoiled his pup as much as he did.

Shouta was already pushing his suitcase against his closet when Yuuri walked into his room.  He dropped his things and just sort of looked at Shouta.  He hadn’t seen him in almost a week and had barely talked to him, just some exchanges through Twitter, but… Yuuri had missed him.  Seeing him made his heart clench in a funny way.  He wouldn’t say it was love.  That was such a weighted word, but if he was speaking English, maybe.  Russian, most likely.  But in Japanese, no.  It wasn’t love, but it was definitely a very strong sort of like.

Love, to him, was something that was just too big.  Too… scary.  But this.  Him and Shouta, it was just right.  Hands that fit together in a clasp when their fingers tangled.  Knowing smirks, when someone said something about how they were always in each other’s company.  He was easy to relax around; always ready to play a game or watch something, never demanded more of Yuuri’s time than he was willing to give or could give.  But then, Yuuri did the same to him.  Yuuri didn���t think that he’d ever be able to be with someone who didn’t have a schedule with demands like his.  How could they even begin to understand?  They couldn’t.

Shouta could.

“Do I have something on my face?  You’re staring?”  Shouta looked down at his shirt.  “Did I get some sauce on me from lunch?  I went to that Chinese gyoza place.  The one that you’re not allowed to eat at anymore?  I figured it’d be better to go before you got back then after and–”

“You don’t have anything on your shirt.  Though it’s really mean to mention the gyoza place.  I was so bummed when Alexei added it to the list of places that were off limits.  Especially now that I’m officially off-season and can’t even go once in a while.”  Yuuri crossed the distance separating them, letting his backpack drop to the ground.  He pressed his hands to Shouta’s cheeks.  “I was just thinking that I missed you while I was in the Netherlands.”

Shouta’s eyebrows went up.  “Really?”  And he hands went to Yuuri’s waist, gripping the fabric of his shirt and drawing it taut over Yuuri’s stomach.

Yuuri nodded.  He brought Shouta’s head closer to his own, negating the height difference and kissed him.  It took less than a second for Shouta to start kissing him back, his hands going around Yuuri’s back.

Yuuri leaned back for a second, breaking the kiss, and looked at Shouta, and smiled. “I won gold.”

“I know.  I saw.”

Yuuri shook his head.  “I won gold at Junior Worlds.  That’s like… like… better than nationals. Better than the Junior Grand Prix.  I’m the best Junior skater in the WORLD.”

“And?”

“What do you mean, and?”  Yuuri bit his lip.

“And, when are you going to beat that gold medalist on your wall and be even better?”

Yuuri kissed Shouta again, deeper and hungrier, licking into his mouth and letting his fingers tangle in the short strands of hair at the back of his head.  Shouta groaned and pressed closer, and Yuuri really, really, really hoped that no one was going to knock on his door and interrupt even for something as stupid as letting him know they were going to the store.

Yuuri stepped back, pulling Shouta with him until they could topple onto his bed.  It was small, but so much more comfortable.  He pulled away for another second.  “I’m working on it.  I’ll get to Seniors, and then you’ll see.”

Shouta rolled them so he could lean over Yuuri.  “Good?  I want to boast that you’re a World Champion, without having to put Junior in front of it.”  Shouta nipped at Yuuri’s bottom lip.  

“I’ll get there.  I want to win.”  Yuuri slipped his hands under Shouta’s shirt and over the well-defined muscles of his abs.  Yuuri’s season was ending, but Shouta’s was just about to begin; it was obvious he’d been putting in extra time, something that Yuuri could appreciate.

“I know you want to win.  You always want to win, even if you never say it.  You wouldn’t be a competitive athlete if you didn’t.”

“Hmm.”  Yuuri relaxed back into the mattress and pulled off Shouta’s shirt and letting himself look at the lean muscles of his boyfriend, there wasn’t much bulk, just strength, mainly focused on his shoulders, and Yuuri knew, his upper back.  “No more talking.”

“No talking?”

Yuuri kissed Shouta again to shut him up.

I don’t know… maybe I should have kept it in at the beginning of the next chapter… I just don’t know anymore…

[safasaf2018]

Day 10 - 6/11/18

1:38 PM

I didn’t wake up super early this morning because I was up late last night, but I went to the café and met some other students there, and then we went to class. Today we focused on French colonialism techniques in North Africa, and especially how their techniques in Algeria shaped their techniques in Tunisia and Morocco more than 50 years later. The 2 hours went by quickly because I was interested in the topic, which was nice. After that I went to the café and my friend Amine, a student who goes here all year round, saw me and came and sat down for a bit until he had class as 12:30. After he left I met everyone else at the pizza place on campus for lunch and we all joked and talked, but not for very long because we have work to do. When I first got here I was worried that I would miss out on opportunities because I would be studying, but I forgot to remember that these are all Yale students (except one from Middlebury), so they’re all very academically driven. With every event that we do there’s a good chance a portion of us won’t be there because they’re studying or catching up on sleep, and I really appreciate that because it alleviates pressure. Anyways after lunch we all went to the café to buy various caffeinated drinks and sugary pastries, and split up into out respective on-campus study spots. Victor and I came to the second floor of a building called the Clubhouse which has a restaurant downstairs and a lounge/study area upstairs. I’ve never been, but I really like it so it’ll probably become my new regular spot! Last night Victor and Jack and I went to the library for the first time which was also so so so nice, but unfortunately the experience was kind of ruined for us by another international student doing some type of summer program here. He had seen us at the café and asked Victor where he was from, and then apparently followed us to the library where at first he kept to himself reading the newspaper, but eventually came over and invited himself to sit down. I assumed he had seen us studying quietly with headphones in, and just wanted a place to sit and read his paper, but he didn’t stop talking for 2 hours. He asked us a lot of personal questions, gave up a lot of unnecesarily and uncomfortably personal information about himself despite our not asking a single question the entire time, he insulted a lot of us whether it was our language skills, insulting the countries we’re from (US, Greece, and Ireland), insulting our opinions, you name it. Finally 2 hours in we had had enough so we got up to go but he followed us! Trying to shake him, we said we were going to the café but he followed us there, where his friends were still sitting from earlier. We went to order food even though it was midnight, because we had kind of cornered ourselves there, and then when we saw he was talking to his friends we tried to get out but he saw us leaving and said, “Wait!” and followed us to and then into our residential buildings. He finally left and we all immediately group skyped and made sure everyone was okay (he said some pretty rattling and vulgar things about homosexuality in Morocco in front of our gay friend, and insulted all of us extensively). So that was an interesting story, and I don’t think any of us will be going to the library any time soon. But I like the second floor of the Clubhouse, it’s furnished with comfy chairs but usually empty except late at night, and the only way somebody would know you were up here is if they came up themselves. Alright I have a ton of work to do, so peace! OH ALSO our professor had said that the desert trip would really build our “group feeling” (which is, funny enough, a major theme we’re studying in terms of anti-colonialism and royal authority) and it’s 10000000% true, I feel so much closer to these kids in a very real and lasting way. So yay! 

4:16 PM

Just finished Arabic where we learned how to say we like or don’t like certain things, how to say “I speak Arabic”, and a few other very basic phrases like that. Now I’m back at the Clubhouse with Victor and Jack doing my writing, nothing exciting but to me the natural routine I feel is as exciting as anything! 

8:20 PM

From the end of Arabic until about 7:15 Victor and I have been studying and working on our reading responses for this week in the Clubhouse. At about 6:00 Jack and Danielle joined us and we went downstairs for dinner, then right back up to continue working. At one point I needed to charge my computer but an employee was using the only outlet in the room to do bookkeeping, so when he left he said I could use it, and then he came back and sat across from me while I was working so we’re basically best friends now. At about 7:15 Victor received a call from his dad telling him that his mother, who’s been very ill for quite a while, had gotten worse and he needed to come home. We knew that there was a chance he’d need to leave, but the reality of him actually needing to go home was still surprising. He left the table to talk to his dad, and then came back and packed up his stuff to take the call outside where there was less noise. I told him to let me know when the call was over, and when it was I went outside and sat with him and helped him book a plane ticket home. Once that was booked we went back to the Clubhouse where more of our friends had started to gather, and sat a table in the corner to just let him process, but he started crying so I suggested we go somewhere more private. So now we’re sitting at a table in a back hallway of the dining hall that’s only used if someone needs to go to the bathroom downstairs. Our friend Jack asked me where we went so with Victor’s permission I told him, and he asked if he could come over to which Victor replied yes. Jack’s dad died when he was younger, so he obviously wanted to be here for Victor as well as I did. Victor told me that so far every time something like this has happened with his mom (the last time being during the school year at Yale), the person who happens to be with him helping him through it is always someone who’s lost a parent. He said he felt bad about that because he felt it added more emotional baggage to their lives, but I told him that that was absolutely not the case, and anyone he was talking about would agree with me. I told him that we have very strong armor because of what we’ve been through, and that situations like these give us a chance to turn our past experiences into good by using them to help someone going through them now. He’s leaving campus at around 2 AM to get to a 5 AM flight, so hopefully Jack and at least I will be with him until then. I feel bad because this group is a relatively new group, so he’s not extremely close with anyone in it - only myself and one other student in it who knew Victor before the trip know about his mom, but I can say that he’s my closest friend on the trip so I’m glad I was with him when his dad called. Anyways Jack just got here and we’re all working so I’m gonna go continue doing that. 

2:10 AM

Well, Victor just left. Jack and I stayed with him up until he left. We went to the library at one point, then the café, and then walked him to the university gate where the driver our professor graciously ordered for him was waiting for him. Once Jack joined us Victor and I stopped talking about his mom because even though Jack would have been just as understanding as me, it’s harder to have those conversations with more than one person. But in the library Victor let me read a 12 page play he’s working on which is a monologue based on his own inner monologue. It was honestly one of the most amazing works I’ve ever read. Then when we went to the café I decided I wouldn’t be able to get any work done, so he let me go through his phone’s documents and read his poetry which was also really good. Throughout the night to keep ourselves distracted we asked each other Disney questions such as favorite side character, most underrated song, etc, we looked at funny social media pages on his phone, at pictures he and his friends had shared with each other, he let me play with his fancy new phone, we picked spirit animals for each other and other students who were there, it was all in all a nice night despite the reason behind us all being up that late. Actually right before we went to the library we ran into the mean pretentious guy from last night and he told us basically that a lot of the things he had told us regarding his political beliefs and opinions were the opposite of how he actually feels and he was just doing it to mess with us and get a reaction, which is cool because that means he isn’t as conservative and racist as we thought, but still preeeeeeetty weird that he’s basically a pathological liar now instead of just an honest mean dude. So yeah that was weird, and then he tried inviting himself to sit with us at the library but we told him that since Victor was leaving we wanted to just have time with him which he THANKFULLY respected, but walked us to the library and kept us in the lobby for 20 minutes talking to him anyways. We’re leaving early tomorrow morning to go on a hike in the Atlas Mountains, so I should really sleep, peace out