#while she pays for his brothers schooling and takes basically nothing from his bum ass no life brother

[pathologising]

sorry but I could never look at my own kids and be like "you owe ME" like I think if you do that you're a shitty parent

[kur0kvmi]

The Menacing Mind of Felix Lombardi-Act 2

I peek through the door glass one more time, to make sure I’m not hallucinating. Yep. Ami Fujinami in the mother, fucking flesh. 

“Felix? I know you’re in there, open up” Ami said, in between repeatedly knocking

“Yea I’ll open it up in a minute” I said as I frantically searched for a clean pair of sweatpants to wear.

Ami and I have known each other for the entirety of the 2 years I’ve been living at this apartment. She and her Grandma have taken pretty good care of me seeing as I’m not exactly the best at it. 

“Hi Ami, what brings you here?” I asked, trying to push out the conversation with my brother from my mind

“Well, a strange man in a dark blue suit was here yesterday and he gave me 2 tickets to Mysticon” 

And then it call comes rushing back

“Wow that’s weird, well have fun” I said as I tried to close the door on her, only for her to stop the door from shutting.

“He said he was your brother, and that I should ask you to go with me” Ami said, slowly edging towards me like she was trying to get a good look at the reflection in my eyeballs.

“Well, I have no idea who you’re talking about. I don’t have a brothe-”

“Hello? Mr. Lombardi? He said exactly what you said he’d say. Mhmm That he doesn't have a brother. Should I hand him the phone? Ok. Ok. I’ll tell him.” 

Oh fuck.

“He says if you don’t go to Mysticon with me, I should tell Obaa-san to lock you out of the wifi for a month” Ami said, in the most perfunctory tone imaginable.

“First of all, you can’t do tha-”

“Yes. Yes I can. And to be honest, I don’t care if Mr. Lombardi is your real brother or not, I want to go to Mysticon, and I don’t care who with. So you’re going with me Felix.” Despite the fact that Ami was more or less extorting a date out of me, she did so with the gusto and demeanor of a middle schooler who just won a spelling bee. 

“Why couldn’t you just go by yourself?”

“The deal is, I take you, and I get a free ticket. Mr. Lombardi was very clear about this” 

“So I have no choice”

“None at all”

“Alright. Come knock on my door on saturday”

“It is Saturday, you bum”

“Why aren’t we using your car?” Ami moaned as we exited the building. 

“The train is faster” I said, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of my jacket.

“Mysticon is in Hells Kitchen right?” Ami asked, whilst reaching into her backpack

“Yup, and it’s...3pm, traffic will be annoying, and I don’t wanna worry about driving back if I buy weed.” I said, pulling out my lighter

“What have I told you about smoking when you’re next to me.” Ami said, pulling out a batton, then flicking it to extend it’s length. 

I put the cig back in the pack, whilst prompting her to sheathe her weapon. Throughout the journey my mind is racing. Ami and I hanging out again? It’s not that I like her or anything, it’s just that I kind of missed her. Hey I’m allowed to have feelings aren’t I? I’m sure you’re wondering “but Felix, if you missed hanging out with her, why did you stop talking to her?” Why yes fair reader, that’s a very adequate question, however the nature of our relationship isn’t that simple. Ami is kind of an all around nerd aficionado, she cosplays, she writes fanfics, she draws, she sings anime openings on youtube, it’s kind of scary how much she does all over the place. Recently she’s started to get really famous online, she’s started to devote a lot more time to it, and She started ghosting. Being distant... And you know me, I ain’t exactly a butterfly myself, so we just drifted apart. She should be making money on youtube, couldn’t she just get her own tickets?

“Obaa San wouldn’t let me” Ami said as we reached the station. “She’s against anime conventions on principle”. 

“Is this about a ‘Japan is more than anime’ thing?” I asked, shifting over to the right as I stepped on the escalator so I could walk down past the standers.

“No that’s more my parents. Baa san is a reeeeaaally old school Otaku.”

“Then what’s her beef with anime conventions?”

“She thinks they’re ‘commodified caricatures of otaku culture’ or something along those lines” Ami said as we hopped on the train.

Granny Fujinami isn’t wrong in the slightest.

“So she won’t be mad at you for going?” 

“She’s only letting me go because I’m going with you. It’s aaalways about you with her.”

“Not my fault i’m the grandson she never had” I said while making a mocking face at Ami.

“She only loves you cuz you’re a broken mess she can nurture. You’re like my dad. Ugh, you’re like all men really.”

Ouch.

“Ouch.” 

“Suck it up loser.” Ami said, shifting her direction away from me. 

“You’re so cute when you go all Tsun” I said, pulling out my phone.

“That would imply me having any ‘dere’ for you.” Ami snapped back.

So hot.

[At the Convention]

What’s going on what’s going on going on. Everyone’s looking at us. Well I guess I am walking next to Amura. Yes that’s Ami’s social media name, you try coming up with something better at 12. Mine’s [REDACTED]. This is not what I signed up for. Louis Othello Lombardi you fucking bastard. You knew this would happen. You did your homework on Ami and figured out she’d be a lightning rod for attention. Keep me around her, and I’m bound to be assaulted by nothing. But. Fucking. People.

“OH MY GOD IT’S AMURA!” Two young girls screamed. “But I heard you weren't coming? You said so on twitter :(.“ I swear to almighty Haruhi Suzumiya, if there was such a thing as a frowny face emoji in real life, whatever that girl did was damn close. 

“Well change of plans ^_^” Oh my god, Ami can speak emoji too!

“So what panels are you going to? I heard Gail has a panel about anime piracy” Said one of the fangirls, angling towards it on the con directory. 

“Gail from Crunchyroll?” 

“Sounds fun! Felix, ikimasu!” Whoever this version of Ami was, I wanted NO PARTS. 

“Sounds lame. I’m going to the arcade.” I was putting my foot down

“Ok cool. Hand me your pass then. You can pay on your own.” 

“You can’t do tha-”

“Yes. Yes I can. You want this pass?.” Ami pulled out the 3 day convention pass out of her purse and dangled it in front of me. Obviously I tried snatching at it, only for Ami to move it out of the way. Damn japanese reflexes.

“Gotta be quicker than that. We’re going to the panel. Follow me.” Ami said, tossing me the pass.

“If you sneak off, I’m calling Obaa chan.” she said, in that her perfunctory yet declaratory way.  

“...So what you end up having is an environment where it’s harder and harder for us to justify hosting servers for anime distribution, because they don’t wanna pa- *ahem* because piracy.” Or something to that effect I’m not really listening to this Gail lady.

Anime piracy is a dumb thing to have a panel about anyway, it’s not like anybody in this room even knows how to torrent off wonwons, let alone\ how find the right codec for shows with bad compression. These are a bunch of crunchycores. The kinds of anime fans so hopped up on seasonal hype that the mere thought of an anime older than 12 months makes their tongues run dry, and their eyes wire shut.

“Are there any questions?”

“You got anything to ask?” chuckled Ami. 

“Why are we here. We both know Kissanime is in your bookmarks” I jeered.

“Networking dummy. I talk to Gail after the panel, and smooth out something over at Crunchyroll” For some reason Ami’s eyes did the dollars signs when she said “crunchyroll”

“In San Francisco? You’d hate it there.”

“I’d make it there. That’s the important part. I’d really make it. I’d be in.” 

“In what?” I said with a look of befuddlement. 

“You wouldn’t understand. You’re basically guaranteed a job after graduation” 

“Hey, don’t make it like tha-”

“Don’t make it like what Felix?” Ami snapped, but less with anger, and more a tired expression.

The Panel was beginning to wind down, and folks were getting up to leave. Ami bounced out of her seat and darted towards the stage. 

“Gaaaaaiiiil! Hiii, I follow you on twitter!” Ami screamed, like a schoolgirl seeing a classmate

“Amura! I follow you too! I love your singing” Gail responded in a surprisingly similar manner.

“Thanks so much, ugh. That means alot l love you and Sailor Bee’s podcast ^_^” This whole display was just. The worst. 

I backed off from the discussion, but I knew I wasn’t gonna be able to make it far without incurring that good old Fujinami wrath. Jeez they’re taking forever. Is this a meet and greet? Or a job interview. 

“Felix? Oh shit, how you been bruh?” This voice, I recognized it. 

I turned around, and yup, it was Tyler. 

“Who let riff raff like  you in here?” I said as we shook hands

“Is that any way to treat your one black friend:” He responded dryly. 

“I have plenty of black friends. Unlike you, most of my friends are girls.” I shot back. 

“Yea right, if you ever left your yuppie ass play pad I’d believe you.”

“You’d be surprised how many of em recognize me from Ami’s streams.”

“The streams she stopped inviting you to?” 

“Low blow T.” 

Tyler is a friend from Highschool who runs in the same online circles that I do. We keep in touch through discord and trade merchandise on message boards. He’s been trying to break into the FGC since middle school and recently struck a deal with a team based out of Brooklyn, The Mash Masters. He’s pretty good, quick reflexes, consistent muscle memory, but he lacks patience, and his neutral game needs work. 

“Where you headed to after this? Tryna hit up the arcade?” Asked Tyler as he picked up his backpack getting ready to leave. 

“I’m here with Ami, I gotta check and see where she’s headed to” 

“Whooptish” Tyler said, while making a whipping motion. 

“You know it’s not like that bro.” I shot back

“For her it isn’t, for you it is.” he retorted. 

I told him to wait up for a sec as I went over to Ami & Gail. They were still chopping it up like they’d known each other since band camp. 

“Shoot me a DM on twitter whenever you get the chance, I’d love to get you acquainted with the rest of my team. Maybe even talk bringing you to some other cons around the east coast ;)” Naruhodo, it seems this Gail is also of the emoji Clan. 

“Sure thing! Don’t forget to tweet out the channel link with the picture, and tell Vicky I said hi!” Ami said gleefully. 

“I definitely will, but uhh, she hates being called Vicky. Victoria or Sailorbee are just fine.” Gail responded, with a tinge of trepidation.

“Yea, I made that mistake on twitter once, it wasn’t pretty” I said with a chuckle.

“Oh hello, and who might you be?” Asked Gail.

“This is my friend Felix I was telling you about.” Ami said. Wait, telling her about what?

“Ah yes, the animator. Ami showed me your fan animation of Diebuster. Very interesting to see a Gainax show done with heavy Yutapon vibes” This lady knows her stuff.

“This lady knows her stuff” I said to Ami. 

“Of course I do silly, I work in the anime industry” The smile Gail shot me as she said this wouldn’t be out of place in a Shaft anime.  

“You definitely have some real skills. We’re looking for someone to do a sakuga heavy promo for our new youtube ad. If you’re interested, Ami has my contact info. It was so very nice meeting the both of you, don’t forget to keep in touch.” Gail said in a warm, professional tone as she got up to leave. 

“Well she seems nice” I said to Ami. 

“You’re welcome Felix.” Said Ami, in her usual biting tone. 

“I didn’t ask you for that. If I wanted a job at Crunchyroll I’d have one already.”

“‘Thanks Ami, I really appreciate you showing my work to someone really influential who can open doors in my chosen profession, would you like headpats?’” Ami said, in a mocking imitation of my sultry ciciillian speech pattern. 

“First of all, fine, thank you, that was a very nice thing to do, and I was pleasantly surprised. Secondly, do you seriously want headpats?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, you weirdo” And there’s the Tsun again. 

“I ran into Tyler, he says he’s going to the Arcade, and I was looking to go with. You in?”

“Tyler’s here? Yea sure, let’s go” 

Ami & I leave the stage and head over to where Tyler is sitting when I get a text on my phone. 

[11:58. Text from Lou]: Having fun?

[11:58. You]: Yea

He’s just like mom. 

“Oh my god it’s Amura! Could you sign my Fightstick?” Tyler sniggered, his fightstick outstretched. He’s such an asshole I love it. 

“Knock it off, I’d actually sign it if I didn’t know you’d just flip it on Ebay” Ami sneered, arms folded and head angrily tossed to the side. 

“Aww don’t be like that, I really did want your autograph. You’d be surprised how many Blazblue players would pay good cash for one” Tyler said, packing his fightstick back in his backpack. 

“If anyone’s gonna make money off the Amura brand it’s gonna be ME!” Ami retorted viciously.

“Now that’s just anti-black business” I said, chuckling as Tyler dapped me up. 

Ami rolled her eyes as heavy as she could roll them and stomped out of the conference room, and we sheepishly trailed after her.

By this point in the day I’d grown used to Ami being a lightning rod for attention. My camera skills must have leveled up big time from all those pics I had to take, of her with fans. Just getting to the Arcade area of the convention was a whole 20 minutes of photo after photo with weeb after arrested developed weeb, and to be honest I was practicing some big time restraint to not just walk out of the center and catch an Uber home. But surely enough, through fire by force, we found ourselves at the-

Boy was this the kind of place I wanted to be. The whole area was what you’d expect from a high profile convention in a big city. What seemed to be at least 30 TVs all hooked up with consoles spanning an entire auditorium. This wasn’t an arcade, it felt more like a Bazaar crossed with a colosseum. You have your old reliables for the boomers like Street Fighter, MK, ok that’s neat, there’s Melee, 64, Ultimate, Smash 4, oh even Brawl, full house, that’s impressive. As we moved through, you could imagine that there were furrowed brows due to the smell, but in all honesty it wasn’t as bad as most invitationals I’ve been to. We couldn’t find the game we were here for though; Blazblue. Tyler directed us to the kiosk so we could get directions. 

“Nigga where the Blazblue at?” Tyler said to one of the convention attendees, 

All the way at the back, by the Under Night” The Attendee responded.

I was just about ready to dart over there when Tyler said: 

“Nah hol’ up real quick bro, I got a question I gotta ask you” uh oh, I hear the Brooklyn leaking out. 

“Yea? Is there something wrong?” the attendee said, with a befuddled expression.

“Y’all always hide the anime fighters, what's up with that?” Tyler said blankly, almost with no life at all. 

“It’s not my decision where the games are set up-”

“That’s not what I asked bro. I’ve done conventions fam, I sat where you sat. NYCC 2017, bigger con than this, and from what I know about my time there, y’all have a meeting to coordinate where the games are set up. Correct?” Oh my god, Tyler what are you doing. 

“Yes correct” The attendee responded. 

“So you were in the room when the decision was made, correct?” This is so wacky

“Yea, but like, I didn’t have a choi-”

“Nobody’s asking about a choice, I’m asking you, what was the reasoning behind the decision?” Should I stop this? Or?...

“They didn’t want the anime stuff turning folks away” Oh no, here we go

“There it is” Tyler said triumphantly as he began to walk off. 

“Hey, I think it’s bullshit too ma-” t

“Yet you said nothing. You and all your boys said nothing. Aight, I see you fam. Haruhi’s watching you” Tyler said, his back already turned and walking away.  “Let’s go guys”

“Did you have to make such a big hoopla you maniac?” Ami said laughing her ass off. 

“Because I have Principles Fujinami, you should try em some time” Tyler snapped back. 

“That was the FUNNIEST shit I’ve seen all day, I’m so happy I knew to record that” Ami said, still cackling. 

“Wait you recorded that?” Tyler said, shocked

“I uploaded it. Enjoy being a meme” Ami said blankly.

“Not again…” Tyler sighed.

We finally make it to the Blazblue section, and it’s about as serviceable as you’d expect. Two TVs both hooked up to PS4s playing Central Fiction. There wasn’t much of a crowd, about 5 or 6 people, all looked to be around college age, couple on the boomer side though. All guys. 

“This game is so hyperactive…” Ami said, in a tone betwixt judgement and bewilderment. 

“Not every game gotta be Street Fighter” Said Tyler. “Ey yo, who got next?” Tyler asked a portly asian fellow playing Taokaka. 

“Uhh, I dunno, anybody got next?” the Taokaka player asked. The crowd shook their heads. “I guess it’s on you bro after this.” 

Nobody else noticed, But Tyler’s killing intent began to spike. I get you’re excited kiddo, but you haven’t even chewed the scenery yet. 

The game was pretty hype. There it was Taokaka vs Valkenhayn. Both characters with adequate rushdown capabilities and heavy damage. The Valkenhayn was an even match, but the Tao was just catching clutch reversals at every corner. It felt like seeing a tiger beat a lion by leaving a bigger gash every time they left the scuffle. Tyler, ever the professional, was quiet as a mouse. A mouthy prick like him? Quiet? I know right? But he gets like this when it’s Blazblue. The data collection phase. See if Street Fighter is Chess, then Blazblue is Mahjong. The same level of depth, but a wider variety of dealing with situational disadvantages and advantages. Tyler sees what I’m seeing and he’s analyzing, putting his pieces together, he’s not here for fun. This is off the job training. 

“FINISH” 6 red letters on the television screen. Read em & Weep. 

“My turn now right?” Tyler asked the Taokaka player. 

“Yup. What’s your name?” said the Tao player

“Tyro, and you?” oh yea I forgot that was his FGC name, everywhere else he’s Tyrilla. He sucks at names yes I know.

“I’m Yiao, nice to meet you.” Yiao said, pushing his glasses up.

The character selection screen pops up and… Wait don’t tell me he…Oh boy, Tyler’s picking his middle school main. Hazama. Yiao on the other hand started mousing over Tao then over to Litchi. Come on pick a character already. After more mousing, his cursor finally landed on Mai... From rushdown to range spam. Just all around bloodthirst.

Both of them sat in silence as the loading screen started up, until Yiao broke that silence.

“I’ve heard of you, Mash Master Tyro. To be honest I was hoping we’d meet. I have this Mai prepared just for you.” said Yiao. Yawn. This happens all the time. Tyler’s probably got him scoped already too.

“Yiao, third runner up at Anifight Staten Island. Three. Years. Running.” Yup, knew it. Tyler lives for this shit.

“You wanna know why HowRite was able to beat you 3 to nothing last year?” Tyler said, deadpan staring at the screen.

“THE WHEEL OF FATE IS TURNING” oh shit the round is starting.

“Cuz he knew if he lost, he’d never get to face my mentor in the finals”

“But wait. Ulysses isn’t on your team?” Yiao said confused, the backstory here is really weird, I’d be confused as well to be honest. 

“REBEL 1” 

“Ulysses is my stepdad.” 

“ACTION”

Told you. 

End of Act 2. 

[samdukewieland]

Stuck Inside Media Diary Week 2

New week. New movies I had never seen before. Only one was on the DVR so now it’s just like a glorified streaming guide and for that I apologize. There were three movies this week that I had seen before, but I’ve decided, because rules are important, that I won’t re-watch a movie until I watch a new one. Does this matter? No. But it has made me realize that I might be exposing my ass in the upcoming weeks, because we all lie about saying we’ve seen some movies when we actually haven’t. Not the case for this week, but it’s impending.

Sunday, March 29

Warrior, O’Conner 2011 [as of now this is available on Amazon Prime]

As a person who doesn’t really care about MMA or UFC or boxing or bum fights or bare knuckle brawls I went in under the impression that there’d probably be some kind of barrier in my way of enjoying it, despite knowing its esteemed reputation for being man-weep canon. Any movie that opens and closes with a song by The National is fairly transparent about the type of movie its going to be, despite having an extremely yolked Tom Hardy as one of the main characters. My first cry came at a very unexpected moment, especially because Frank Grillo had a significant role in making that happen (though I will say, I had no idea Frank Grillo was in this movie and about midway through I thought “man, that guy kinda looks like Grillo, but he’s kinda small and has a fashion mullet”). However, I’m a cryer, so I don’t want to set the expectation of you will cry at this you piece of shit! but you might and it’ll come out of a good place, because this movie doesn’t trick you into crying by manipulating you into it (okay, it does at one point, but it involves Moby Dick, so again, it’s kinda unexpected). It opens with “Start A War” and ends with “About Today,” a top 5 sad boy song by The National and I’ll be damned if I didn’t listen to it once a day all last week.

Better Call Saul 

“Sunk Costs”, “Sabrosito”, “Chicanery”, “Off Brand”, “Expanses”

John Getz hive, assemble.

Monday, March 30

Working Girl, Nichols 1988 [as of now this is available on HBO]

Sometime in college, I think in a detective fiction class I took, we talked about knowing a reference to something before knowing what it’s either paying homage to or directly referencing. For example: the first time I read The Long Halloween (which is a Batman comic by Jeph Loeb) I had no idea that basically everything involving Falcone is just ripped from The Godfather, because I had never seen The Godfather at that time in my life; literally the first page of the book is “I believe in Gotham City.” Or in Django Unchained when they go to Mississippi and the title card moves across the screen just like it does in Gone With The Wind (Tarantino movies are generally just long homages and references to other things, so if you need another example, just look to really anything he’s ever worked on). There’s probably a German word for this feeling of recognition and I just don’t have the energy to look to see what it would be, but I felt it while watching Working Girl in two regards. 

The first was that I didn’t realize that School Of Rock is essentially just Working Girl and when you have a realization like this, you feel kinda dumb, because you just assume everyone figured this out before you did. The second was that Joe Swanberg has tried to model his movies after Mike Nichols ones like his life depended on it and he just can’t or rather hasn’t. Also I’m not a person who was alive in the 80s and I’m sure there’s some modern day equivalent (potentially her daughter) who I defend out of some weird sense of contrarian obligation, but what’s uh, what’s going on with Melanie Griffith and her as actor?

Better Call Saul 

“Slip”, “Fall”, “Lantern” [Season 3 finale]

BCS season 3 really stepped up to the heights of Breaking Bad and I think I might like it just a little bit better than it? I haven’t watched Breaking Bad in long time, I find it pretty difficult to re-watch (it’s very fire works factory for me) so I’m sure there are some BB highs that I just don’t remember fully, but that BCS can juggle being three different shows all at the same time and do it excellently really has me taken aback. It’s like watching the Coen Brothers jump from genre to genre and not be worried about the end result.

Tuesday, March 31

Say Anything..., Crowe 1989 [as of now this is available on Hulu]

I’m unabashedly in the can for Cameron Crowe, which is a semi-embarrassing thing to admit, but whatever. I saw Aloha in theatres and watched We Bought A Zoo when it was on FX once (in real time too, so that means with commercials-this was also the only time I’ve seen We Bought A Zoo, but I think I’d do it again); you can’t hurt me. I think I kept my distance from Say Anything... for so long, because it was one of those things that I’d be annoyed at because it’d resonate with me too much, because feeling that is kinda hacky and embarrassing, but if there’s one thing that Cameron Crowe movies put an emphasis on of importance on, it’s being sincere. And I sincerely loved it (hot, HOT take). Thanks to Russillo for recommending it on Simmons’ podcast last week.

Better Call Saul

“Smoke” [Season 4 premiere]

Wednesday, April 1

The Graduate, Nichols 1967 [as of now this is available on Amazon Prime]

Sucks that this movie has been used by a certain type of dude who use it as a blueprint for their life and how they view relationships. Other than that, good job everyone. [I definitely thought it would be clever to watch this after watching Say Anything... because I just assumed Ben Braddock walked so Lloyd Dobbler could run-I was kinda right, whatever]

Hot Rod, Schaffer 2007

While April Fools Day means nothing to me I do try to watch a comedy on the day, because...eh, why not. Hot Rod is maybe a perfect comedy and I think I could spend hours talking about it. I don’t know how there hasn’t been some kind of programming that’s been done around The Lonely Island and their catalog, because it seems very obvious. 

Hot Rod with Digital Shorts played before and after and then Wayne’s World

MacGruber and you play MacGruber shorts before and after and then whatever grotesque 80′s action movie you’d want, maybe Commando

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping with Lonely Island music videos before and after and then This Is Spinal Tap

The Unauthorized Bash Brothers Experience sing-a-long followed by The Lonely Island pilot and  either a collection or the entirety of I Think You Should Leave

maybe this is all a lead-up to Palm Springs, a movie I have’t seen and know very little about other than they produced it and Samberg is in it

Thursday, April 2

The In-Laws, Hiller 1979

I wrote it as my letterboxd. “review” , but this thing’s 1979 funny until they go to South America and then it is actually funny. Falk is just gangbusters.

Better Call Saul 

“Breathe”, “Something Beautiful”

Friday, April 3

You Can Count On Me, Lonergan 2000 [as of now this is available on Amazon Prime]

I say this as a very big fan of his, but! Timothée Chalamet, consider yerself on notice for borrowing heavily from the Mark Ruffalo school of acting. Also, I get it now with Laura Linney, who I’ve liked before, but thought she might kind of be overrated by some people. Also, Matthew Broderick made this after Election (and also Inspector Gadget), so quite the infidelity streak for Brody, probably not a double feature.

Better Call Saul

“Talk”, “Quite A Ride”, “Piñata”

Saturday, April 4

De Palma, Baumbach & Paltrow, 2015 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

The definitive documentaries for the directors of this friend group are basically perfect in their own ways. That this is just De Palma talking about himself and his career and movies, sometimes being incredibly critical of his own work and others. He seems pretty self-aware, probably the most of that group of directors, while still coming across as incredibly cocky. De Palma is perfect for Brian De Palma. However, if anyone wanted to make a 10 hour documentary on Scorsese, Spielberg, Coppola, De Palma and Lucas in this style or it’s just the 5 of them interviewing each other moderated by like Fincher or someone, man....I could really go for that. (I mean if Michael Jordan can get one, why not these guys?)

The Other Director Documentaries

Spielberg, 2017 (HBO) [Interviews and retrospectives about Spielberg’s career, with personal highlights. It’s essentially Spielberg in a nutshell: big, flashy with a lot of time on particular moments that are more important to him than they are to you]

Empire Of Dreams, 2004 (Disney+) [Ostensively this is about Star Wars, and it’s made by a company-man, it says so much about Lucas, a man who hated how institutions told him what he could do so he unintentionally created one that has copied what he hates]

Heart Of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse, 1991 [A truly wild ride, tells you everything you need to know about Coppola]

Italianamerican, 1974 [While a new documentary about Scorsese is probably what I covet most, he’s a pretty open book about his controversies and he’d probably enjoy talking about other people’s work more than his own-catholicism’s a helluva thing]

The Godfather Pt. I & The Godfather Pt. II, Coppola 1972 & 1974

I don’t know if I necessarily endorse watching both of these back-to-back; I guess I’m glad I did it, even if the motivation was mainly to just see if I could. Obviously these movies are important and good and are about so much more than just gangsters and thugs, but a lot of the time it just feels like eating vegetables for me. I did not grow up in a household that emphasized the importance of The Godfather so maybe that’s part of it, but I’m definitely not as dismissive of these as I used to be (though part of that could be the mental Stockholm Syndrome Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan and Sean Fennessey have given me). Once I finished Pt. I, I felt like I could re-watch it; once I finished Pt. II I felt like my eyes were melting out of my head and onto my hands (this could be because I had just watched 377 minutes of a story). I will probably never do it again, unless it’s the weekend after Christmas and AMC is just going for it-at least then I’ll have intermissions every 20 or so minutes telling me to go shop at Target.

[ofrowanss-blog]

you’re introduced to sports at a young age by your neighbor that watches you while your mom works. he’s always wanted a SON  so by the time you were up and walking, there was a glove in your hand, a ball following it shortly after. then, you met the bat and the ball would come to you, but you’d hit it so far that it would go soaring and you wouldn’t be able to see it anymore. even though this is very sweet, this isn’t where your story starts.

it starts with a young woman named EMILY. people call her emma, eli, milly along with a handful of other names that can’t be mentioned. she was adopted and raised by strict mormons, who fit in. little do they know, their town whispers about them behind their backs and act nice to their face. that’s where emily learned how to do it, after all. now, i’ll be honest - her life isn’t BAD. but she hates it. she doesn’t have any friends, her parents want her to believe in some god that doesn’t exist [ to her, at least ] and she hates school. she just wants to go as far as she possibly can. so that’s what she does. one night she just packs up and leaves. she’s fourteen so she can’t drive herself. she catches rides with strangers, even though she was RAISED better than that. a truck driver drops her off in LAS VEGAS, NEVADA. she falls in love with the lights and decides that this is her new home. she changes her last name to bak. however - she hasn’t finished high school and is too young to get a job. so she does what she cans: sex working. at fifteen, a year later, she gets pregnant with you and you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to her.

every day she tells you “ you are what i was missing, callum ” and every day she tells you how much she loves you and every day, she does her best to put food on the table. you’re YOUNG and you don’t understand why you have to stay at your neighbors so much or why you have to sleep in the car sometimes, but, at least you know you’re loved. your mom is your everything. but then again - you’re six, the only people you know are your neighbors, the flynns. they’re nice and you like ‘em, but no one’s compared to your mom.

back to where i was in the beginning: you and sports. your neighbor smiles as he watches the ball. “ woah. kid – you’re gonna go places some day. ” but then, his smile fades. “ that was my only ball. ”

it swingers first swing luck or whatever you call it but with practice, you get on your neighborhood’s little league team a year younger because you’re just that GOOD.

as you grow older, you decide baseball just isn’t your thing anymore, so you try out for basketball. maybe it’s just because of how tall you’re getting. but, anyways, after playing a couple of rounds with your neighbor, you decide that you love it and that you’re gonna try out for the team.

your coach says you’re the best he’s ever seen. this makes you just practice harder.

then - you get introduced to HOCKEY.

you’re on a trip with your mom and your neighbors. they’re going to chicago to visit family for the holidays and they invite you two. emily accepts and you all drive there. your head is stuck in the window, watching the highways changes into weird lumpy roads, smiling at the animals and the corn you see.

you arrive in CHICAGO, ILLINOIS. as soon as your feet touch the ground you decide if you’re ever going to move out of vegas, you’re gonna come here.

all the other kids are on the lake in the backyard. it’s frozen over so they have special shoes on. you’re watching from the window, brows furrowed as you tried to piece together what was going on. your neighbor shows up behind you, scaring the shit out of you with “ they’re playing hockey. wanna try?? ”

you nod eagerly and go to his old room. he’s droning on about how he used to play it and how his old skates should fit him. you put them on, then you wobble onto the ice, gripping the hockey stick so tight your knuckles are white.

like every sport, you’re a natural. but this time, it’s different. you’ve finally found your niche. anyway - you fall on your ass a few times but get right back up, laughing as you tried to steal the puck and make a score.

throughout junior high and high school, you play basketball and hockey. they’re during the same season so you’re rarely home, but that’s fine – you know what your mom does now and although some people make fun of you for it, you don’t care. she does what she has too.

however, you try to stay out of the house as much as you can, seeing sometimes work and home life gets mixed together.

when you’re not playing basketball or hockey, you’re practicing. when you’re not practicing, you’re working at the local movie theatre. when you’re not doing that, you’re baby sitting your neighbor’s twins.

your mom gets invited to a bachelor party to be someone’s fake date. while she’s there - she meets a woman. her name is raina and they fall in love immediately. emily ditches her date and raina ditches the party. “ it was lame, anyways ”. they talk all night. you meet her the next morning. you’ve never seen your mom this happy before. raina is rich. the first thing she does is buy you a nice pair of braces to fix those crooked teeth of yours. your mom begs her not to, that she doesn’t need “ charity ”. raina says that’s not what this is. “ i love YOU. and callum is a part of you. i want what’s best for the both of you. ” it’s nice to have someone who cares so much. she pays for the wisdom teeth removal, too. you’re seventeen and when you wake up, you start CRYING for your “ mommies ” and then you cry even harder because you didn’t get to see your teeth after they pulled them out.

you get a full ride to the UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA for a HOCKEY scholarship. your moms couldn’t be prouder of you. you graduate high school with a 4.0 gpa. you go away to college and on your first night, you cry because you miss your moms.

things are great. your grades are great, the game is great. you’ve made so many friends. you even have a girlfriend.

sadly, nothing lasts forever.

it’s your school verses some rival college. now, you get angry because you can’t even remember their name.

HOWEVER, the game was going good. your team was winning. you had the puck, about to score the final goal.

then, you get checked. hard. and you land funny. it happened so fast.

there’s three different cracks. maybe four. your face smacks into the ice. your leg is numb and you can’t feel your face. there’s blood everywhere. someone is screaming your name and someone is crying but you can’t answer back to any of it because your ears won’t stop ringing.

you spend the next few days in the hospital. you’ve broken your leg in threedifferent places, you’ve got a major concussion - the type where you definitely, 100%, CANNOT fall asleep - you knocked out a few of your front teeth, your tongue needed stitches in two different places because of how hard you bit it when you fell.

your grades start slipping because of obvious reasons. your roommate, god bless his soul, drops off homework for you at the hospital. but you can never get it finished because of your headaches.

your moms and little brother have basically moved in. they stay there as long as they can, trying to make it easier on you. however, your brother is still a baby, so he puts his hands in places that still hurt, like your face. sometimes he grabs your toe too hard and it leaves you yelping with tears in your eyes. you can’t stay mad at him. you LOVE him. he’s just a baby. he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

you’re mad anyways. but not at him. at yourself. how could you let this happen??

because of your grades and not being to play in any of the games, you lose your scholarship in your sophomore year of college. raina, your mom, she tells you “baby, you know i can pay your tuition. ” each time, you say no. you want to pay it yourself. but you know you’re not going back.

your girlfriend is supportive. your moms love her and she loves them. once you’re released from the hospital, she takes you back to campus and helps get you set up in your dorm. you have to use crutches to get around and your leg has to be elevated. all the time. including in classes. and – it itches. which is a big distraction.

you spend most of your time in the library, trying to catch up on missing work and trying to understand what’s happening in class now. you want your scholarship back. if you’re able to pass your classes, that should do it. but by the looks of it …….

it just doesn’t click like it did before. the information used to make so much sense to you but now… it’s just going in one ear and out the other. you consider getting a tutor, but – those cost money. money you don’t have and money you don’t want to borrow from your mom.

you decide to end your study session early and make your way back to your dorm. your roommate forgot to put the sock on the door, so you barge in on him. most of the time, it’s not a big deal - it happens. but instead of sleeping with some girl you didn’t know, he’s in bed with your girlfriend. you’re lost for words when this happens. you trusted them. both of them. how long have they been doing this?? why couldn’t she just dump you?? that would be better than this.

you leave. and within a week, you leave for good. you don’t care anymore. you distance yourself from everyone and have trouble trusting the doctors that are supposed to help you get better.

you spend your days at the hospital. when you’re not there, you’re bumming at one of your friend’s house. but then again, you don’t stay for long.

you learn how to use your broken leg again, then go back to vegas. you live with your moms, for awhile. they’re disappointed you dropped out, but they won’t say anything. they notice how different you are. how sad you are. they just let you babysit your brother and help you find a job. 

DEADBEAT job after DEADBEAT, you’re fed up. you love your home, yes. but you need something new. so you come here. to rose hollow.

[ofchaoticneutrals-blog]

you’re introduced to sports at a young age by your neighbor that watches you while your mom works. he’s always wanted a SON so by the time you were up and walking, there was a glove in your hand, a ball following it shortly after. then, you met the bat and the ball would come to you, but you’d hit it so far that it would go soaring and you wouldn’t be able to see it anymore. even though this is very sweet, this isn’t where your story starts. 

it starts with a young woman named EMILY. people call her emma, eli, milly along with a handful of other names that can’t be mentioned. she was adopted and raised by strict mormons, who fit in. little do they know, their town whispers about them behind their backs and act nice to their face. that’s where emily learned how to do it, after all. now, i’ll be honest - her life isn’t BAD. but she hates it. she doesn’t have any friends, her parents want her to believe in some god that doesn’t exist [ to her, at least ] and she hates school. she just wants to go as far as she possibly can. so that’s what she does. one night she just packs up and leaves. she’s fourteen so she can’t drive herself. she catches rides with strangers, even though she was RAISED better than that. a truck driver drops her off in LAS VEGAS, NEVADA. she falls in love with the lights and decides that this is her new home. she changes her last name to bak. however - she hasn’t finished high school and is too young to get a job. so she does what she cans: sex working. at fifteen, a year later, she gets pregnant with you and you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to her. 

every day she tells you “ you are what i was missing, callum ” and every day she tells you how much she loves you and every day, she does her best to put food on the table. you’re YOUNG and you don’t understand why you have to stay at your neighbors so much or why you have to sleep in the car sometimes, but, at least you know you’re loved. your mom is your everything. but then again - you’re six, the only people you know are your neighbors, the flynns. they’re nice and you like ‘em, but no one’s compared to your mom.

back to where i was in the beginning: you and sports. your neighbor smiles as he watches the ball. “ woah. kid – you’re gonna go places some day. ” but then, his smile fades. “ that was my only ball. ” 

it swingers first swing luck or whatever you call it but with practice, you get on your neighborhood’s little league team a year younger because you’re just that GOOD.

as you grow older, you decide baseball just isn’t your thing anymore, so you try out for basketball. maybe it’s just because of how tall you’re getting. but, anyways, after playing a couple of rounds with your neighbor, you decide that you love it and that you’re gonna try out for the team. 

your coach says you’re the best he’s ever seen. this makes you just practice harder. 

then - you get introduced to HOCKEY.

you’re on a trip with your mom and your neighbors. they’re going to chicago to visit family for the holidays and they invite you two. emily accepts and you all drive there. your head is stuck in the window, watching the highways changes into weird lumpy roads, smiling at the animals and the corn you see. 

you arrive in CHICAGO, ILLINOIS. as soon as your feet touch the ground you decide if you’re ever going to move out of vegas, you’re gonna come here. 

all the other kids are on the lake in the backyard. it’s frozen over so they have special shoes on. you’re watching from the window, brows furrowed as you tried to piece together what was going on. your neighbor shows up behind you, scaring the shit out of you with “ they’re playing hockey. wanna try?? ”

you nod eagerly and go to his old room. he’s droning on about how he used to play it and how his old skates should fit him. you put them on, then you wobble onto the ice, gripping the hockey stick so tight your knuckles are white. 

like every sport, you’re a natural. but this time, it’s different. you’ve finally found your niche. anyway - you fall on your ass a few times but get right back up, laughing as you tried to steal the puck and make a score.

throughout junior high and high school, you play basketball and hockey. they’re during the same season so you’re rarely home, but that’s fine – you know what your mom does now and although some people make fun of you for it, you don’t care. she does what she has too.

however, you try to stay out of the house as much as you can, seeing sometimes work and home life gets mixed together. 

when you’re not playing basketball or hockey, you’re practicing. when you’re not practicing, you’re working at the local movie theatre. when you’re not doing that, you’re baby sitting your neighbor’s twins. 

your mom gets invited to a bachelor party to be someone’s fake date. while she’s there - she meets a woman. her name is raina and they fall in love immediately. emily ditches her date and raina ditches the party. “ it was lame, anyways ”. they talk all night. you meet her the next morning. you’ve never seen your mom this happy before.  raina is rich. the first thing she does is buy you a nice pair of braces to fix those crooked teeth of yours. your mom begs her not to, that she doesn’t need “ charity ”. raina says that’s not what this is. “ i love YOU. and callum is a part of you. i want what’s best for the both of you. ” it’s nice to have someone who cares so much. she pays for the wisdom teeth removal, too. you’re seventeen and when you wake up, you start CRYING for your “ mommies ” and then you cry even harder because you didn’t get to see your teeth after they pulled them out.

you get a full ride to the UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA for a HOCKEY scholarship. your moms couldn’t be prouder of you. you graduate high school with a 4.0 gpa. you go away to college and on your first night, you cry because you miss your moms. 

things are great. your grades are great, the game is great. you’ve made so many friends. you even have a girlfriend.

sadly, nothing lasts forever.

it’s your school verses some rival college. now, you get angry because you can’t even remember their name. 

HOWEVER, the game was going good. your team was winning. you had the puck, about to score the final goal.

then, you get checked. hard. and you land funny. it happened so fast.

there’s three different cracks. maybe four. your face smacks into the ice. your leg is numb and you can’t feel your face. there’s blood everywhere. someone is screaming your name and someone is crying but you can’t answer back to any of it because your ears won’t stop ringing.

you spend the next few days in the hospital. you’ve broken your leg in three different places, you’ve got a major concussion - the type where you definitely, 100%, CANNOT fall asleep - you knocked out a few of your front teeth, your tongue needed stitches in two different places because of how hard you bit it when you fell.

your grades start slipping because of obvious reasons. your roommate, god bless his soul, drops off homework for you at the hospital. but you can never get it finished because of your headaches.

your moms and little brother have basically moved in. they stay there as long as they can, trying to make it easier on you. however, your brother is still a baby, so he puts his hands in places that still hurt, like your face. sometimes he grabs your toe too hard and it leaves you yelping with tears in your eyes. you can’t stay mad at him. you LOVE him. he’s just a baby. he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

you’re mad anyways. but not at him. at yourself. how could you let this happen??

because of your grades and not being to play in any of the games, you lose your scholarship in your sophomore year of college. raina, your mom, she tells you “ baby, you know i can pay your tuition. ” each time, you say no. you want to pay it yourself. but you know you’re not going back.

your girlfriend is supportive. your moms love her and she loves them. once you’re released from the hospital, she takes you back to campus and helps get you set up in your dorm. you have to use crutches to get around and your leg has to be elevated. all the time. including in classes. and -- it itches. which is a big distraction. 

you spend most of your time in the library, trying to catch up on missing work and trying to understand what’s happening in class now. you want your scholarship back. if you’re able to pass your classes, that should do it. but by the looks of it .......

it just doesn’t click like it did before. the information used to make so much sense to you but now... it’s just going in one ear and out the other. you consider getting a tutor, but -- those cost money. money you don’t have and money you don’t want to borrow from your mom.

you decide to end your study session early and make your way back to your dorm. your roommate forgot to put the sock on the door, so you barge in on him. most of the time, it’s not a big deal - it happens. but instead of sleeping with some girl you didn’t know, he’s in bed with your girlfriend. you’re lost for words when this happens. you trusted them. both of them. how long have they been doing this?? why couldn’t she just dump you?? that would be better than this. 

you leave. and within a week, you leave for good. you don’t care anymore. you distance yourself from everyone and have trouble trusting the doctors that are supposed to help you get better.

you spend your days at the hospital. when you’re not there, you’re bumming at one of your friend’s house. but then again, you don’t stay for long.

you learn how to use your broken leg again, then go back to vegas. you live with your moms, for awhile. they’re disappointed you dropped out, but they won’t say anything. they notice how different you are. how sad you are. they just let you baby sit your brother and help you find a job.

once you’ve saved enough money, you rent out a shitty apartment that doesn’t have hot water most of the time. but it’s okay - at least you’re not mooching off your parents anymore.

you quit your job to find a better one but you find yourself doing that a lot.

one day, you say fuck it, and sign up for THE CHEM PROJECT. surprisingly, you get accepted.