#while said tiny circus child is dangling from the banister and calling bruce a butthead for not letting him run around at night with him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

taerrorize · 5 months ago

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I am begging BEGGING for someone to send me a fic like this I have searched high and low and I’ve found NOTHING

I want to read a fic where Alfred adopts Dick so Dick & Bruce have more of a “he’s the much older weird emo brother” kinda relationship I just think it would be Hilarious. The bickering alone would be phenomenal. I want it so badly but also Bruce still has to be the one to adopt all the others and Dick absolutely brags abt how he’s Not

#personal #also I now think it would be even funnier with a smaller age gap between them #fuck it make Bruce be 18 when he and alfred bring home little 8 year old gremlin child dick grayson #hell why not make Bruce be 17?? and that’s WHY Alfred has to be the one to adopt dick bc Bruce is still literally a CHILD #I want them at each other’s throats while Alfred is so exasperated in the corner shaking his head trying to figure out where he went wrong #why is his oldest dressing up like a furry to go beat up criminals at night and then coming home to argue with the tiny circus child #while said tiny circus child is dangling from the banister and calling bruce a butthead for not letting him run around at night with him #but then like half an hour later dick is squished close to Bruce in the couch bc Bruce is beating a video game boss for him #then two days later they’re yelling at each other again bc a JL member asked Robin why he calls Batman B and he says its short for Butthead #I want the entire Justice league to be absolutely fucking bamboozled when they realize how young Batman is #they think for A Long Time that he’s a Real Adult and when they see him bicker with Robin they just think #‘wow he is. not a Stellar parent’#only to get fucking whiplash when someone implies they’re father & son and they both immediately stop arguing with each other #only to start yelling at the JL member who said it but they’re yelling over each other like #‘HE IS A B S O L U T E L Y NOT MY SON HES A PAIN IN MY ASS IS WHAT HE IS’#‘HE IS NOT MY DAD BIG MEAN JERKHEAD IS WHAT HE IS and im telling agent a u SAID A BAD WORD AT ME AGAIN!!’#‘I did not say it AT YOU I said it ABOUT YOU big difference and IF U TATTLE ON ME AGAIN IM BENCH ROBIN FOR A MONTH’#‘U CANT DO THAT!!’ ‘I CAN AND I WILL!!’#don’t get it twisted tho bc they do absolutely adore each other. bickering and name calling is just how they express their love #and as soon as they realize how uncomfortable it makes all the other league members they kick it up a notch bc they both find it hilarious #they’ll yell at each other on the watchtower for 45 mins straight then zeta to the batcave dick will latch onto him giggling up a storm #‘did u see Ollie’s face when I called u a buttmunch?’ ‘I did and it is now my fondest memory of him thank u’#fic ideas

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