#which. might be for the best fdsjkl bc i talk too much as it is

[piplupod]

i think i like n.eocities so much bc i can just... put stuff up there and not see if anyone sees it. i try hard not to care about that on tumblr but sometimes the likes thing does get to me - and idk even which way it bothers me ?? do i want ppl to see my stuff? do i not want them to? i think i just like the ignorance tbh. i do like being seen (to some degree. makes me nervous but also its nice to like... exist in the world) but i also... prefer to just,, not know for sure if im being seen or not maybe LOL, i feel like a cat TwT

so to be able to just throw things onto my website and not have any "likes" feature is so freeing sdjfkl also not having everything i post show up on other people's dashes/timelines/fyp etc is so great too bc then i dont feel like im shoving my garbage in ppls faces dghjkl

[johnsbleu]

this might be a hard question but do you have a favourite chapter of hold my hand?

this is like asking which child is my favorite fdsjkl;fj god honestly i do have a few that always stick out to me. this is gonna be so long just a warning bc i dont know when to shut up. i'm gonna put it under a read more now that i think about it bc i did just ramble. my bad. fjdsklf

i love the chapter where they get engaged. i just love how romantic john is and how much thought went into the proposal. i love that it wasn't something simple (even tho she would have loved it either way) it just shows how much he loves her and how he wanted to make her feel so special for that big day. he literally got her a whole ass outfit to wear just for the proposal. honestly, best man ever. also it was so fun to write. i was talking everything through with a friend to make sure every clue made sense and made sure every clue had meaning to them (the hotel: where he told her he loved her for the first time, the bookshop: they now own together. the restaurant where they had their first date) so that was a fun one tbh.

i have a lot of callbacks to their time in italy and they always say that the treehouse changed everything for them and those were really fun to write. i love writing them going to different countries and stuff bc i love to research everything and watch vlogs fjskdl;fjl so those treehouse chapters were really fun. (also they are going out the country again soon!) OH! i loved writing them watching harper and benji. i remember writing those and being like "hmmm perhaps we should give john a baby!"

their wedding was really fun to write too! i remember originally i was gonna have some girl show up and kind of be like "IM IN LOVE WITH JOHN!" but then i was like bitch wtf no (even though i would LOVE to see reader jealous asf). i liked that their wedding ended up being really good. i already had some big drama at tess' wedding (that was really fun to write as well) so i wanted john and reader's wedding to be really good! and i loved how romantic it was and how they were so focused on each other.

honestly another chapter that i really like and actually still reread sometimes (yes i reread chapters sometimes fjsdklf;j) is the chapter where she suffers from her hemorrhage. seeing john just immediately get her to the hospital, him knowing her blood type (weirdly cute tbh), him knowing every detail of her pregnancy, just seeing how he freaking loves her!!! i loved it. they didn't know what was going to happen, and his first thought was that he couldn't lose his wife. i think about 49543 thoughts went through his head. a lot of ptsd from losing helen as well. losing reader (y/n, peach, whatever you want to call her) was the worst thing that could happen to him and he was living a nightmare until he knew she was okay. he just loves her sooooo much. i love how much he loves her. i love how much they love each other.

and another chapter that i love is a chapter coming up (*laughs maniacally*) it's the chapter when we finally get our newest little addition to the Wick family. i did something a little different with the chapter which really isn't that big of a deal but it was fun. it was fun to write her going through her labor with john by her side the entire time (best man ever, remember?) and their joy over holding their baby for the first time literally makes me cry every single time i read it. it's really sweet and i can't wait to share it with you all!

if you made it reading this far, just know that i love u and i'm hugging u right now. also do you have any chapters that you really love? it'd be cool to know!